#yes you learn all of this if you actually play the games all the way through. the opening levels of T1 are bait and switch

[thankskenpenders]

The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

#tkp post #other media

[reallyhatethiswebsite]

Inspired by this pic made by @infernally_fond

-

When the devil asks if you want to play, you’re supposed to say no. It’s a lesson most people learn as children. Some don’t take it to heart. They say yes instead because the devil promises he will give them something they desperately want in return.

Tav says yes because she fancies him.

That’s alright. They aren’t playing a game of life or death, and her soul isn’t on the line; just her dignity, and she never had much of that to begin with. Only an idiot would agree to a game they don’t understand. Tav isn’t stupid (honest!) but Raphael’s easy smile and request for her company – mostly the smile, it’s a dangerous weapon put it away damn you – chased off all her answers that weren’t ‘yes, of course, I’d love to play Lanceboard with you!’ So now she sits in his room at Sharess’ Caress watching him watch her across the table as she bumbles and bullshits her moves, losing pieces and losing her mind, because she knows he knows she has no idea what she’s doing but he hasn’t said a damn word about it.

He chooses a piece. She watches his long, deft fingers carefully position it on the board. Lucky thing. “Your move,” he says, languid. Everything about him is relaxed, even his posture. He’s resting his cheek on his fist, elbow on the table. Awful manners; must’ve been raised in a barn. His dark eyes glint in a way that makes it obvious he’s enjoying her squirming, her buffoonery. His expression is cooking her from the inside: not-quite-placid, could be conceived as bored if not for the subtle smoulder, a quirk of mildly sadistic amusement. If he keeps staring at her like that, she fears she might do something foolish.

She blindly grabs her piece. She doesn’t know which it is; knows it’s hers from the colour and that’s about it. Smacks it onto a square that’s (probably) alright. Nods, leans back in her chair, pretends to be confident with her approach, her strategy. “There. Your turn.”

Raphael blinks lazily at her. At the board. “Inspired. Truly,” he drawls, making his next move. “By madness, but nonetheless.”

Tav purses her lips. She doesn’t miss the way his gaze flickers to them. “What is madness but a denial of reality? That’s what you said before, right?”

His mouth twists with a lopsided, barely-there smirk. He surely doesn’t miss her glances, either. “Indeed I did. And what reality are you denying at this moment, little mouse?”

Knowing how to play this bloody game, she thinks, wishing he’d challenged her to checkers instead. “Letting you win,” she responds. Round peg, square hole – put her piece here, steal the piece she jealously witnessed him fondle, strangle it in her fist for its crime. He chuckles; rich, deep, raspy.

“A daring manoeuvrer, and highly illegal.” Yet he does nothing to rectify her blatant ignorance. (Actually, devil, what’s illegal is that chuckle). He simply makes his next move. “You know, it’s usually customary for one to be aware of the stakes of a game before they play it.”

And this, Tav thinks in resignation, is why he’s let me trample all over the match like a drunken elephant. She never learns. Somewhere, Wyll is shaking his head in disappointment.

“You didn't tell me there were stakes,” she accuses; considers pouting but doubts that would work on this crafty creature. “I thought we were just playing for fun.”

“And we are, my dear friend,” Raphael coos, terribly entertained (bastard). “What’s more fun than the thrill of a daring wager?”

“The security of knowing I’m not going to lose my soul?”

Raphael’s grin stretches; sharpens. “Oh, but I thought you were going to beat me. Where has your confidence gone, all of a sudden?”

He’s wretched. Vile. Despicable. Tav is so attracted to him it’s ludicrous. “I’ll win,” she snaps, “and then maybe I’ll take your soul instead. I’ll put it in a little jar and keep it with my other shiny baubles and all the things Scratch dug up. How’s that for a wager?”

“Riveting. Inexperienced, as far as eternal torment goes, but it’s a start,” the devil praises, pleased when Tav scowls at him. “Though, as delectable as your soul would be, it isn’t quite what I had in mind.”

“What, then?”

“Hmm…” He makes a show of drumming his fingers on the table in thought. Large, lithe, well-groomed; she likes his hands. Often wonders what other kinds of magic they can do. (Look away, Tav! This is serious!) “How about, if I win, you tell me exactly why you agreed to this game. Why you abandoned the safety of your companions and entered my den alone. Why you were so eager to say yes. And don’t think about lying, little mouse. I’ll know if you do.”

Well, shit. Letting him eat her soul didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore. One does not simply inform a devil that they like him – especially not this devil. He will use that knowledge, that power, for naught but nefarious purposes, manipulating her much more than he already does. The worst part is, Tav knows she’ll enjoy it. You’re well and truly fucked, mate, as Karlach would say.

Stomach in her shoes, Tav plucks up all the courage and stupidity she has left. “And if I win? What do I get?”

“That’s up to you,” Raphael says. He clearly thinks he has the upper hand. He’s right, but damn him anyway.

Fine, then. In for a penny and all that. “If I win, I want a kiss.”

She’s surprised him, she can tell. She’s surprised herself, scarcely believing she actually said that, but it’s out there now, in the open, lingering like a bad stink. She’s basically already given him the answer he wanted, but Tav isn’t under the illusion he didn’t know beforehand. The power, you see, comes from getting her to admit it aloud.

“A…kiss,” he repeats slowly.

“Yes.” She sticks to her guns despite her racing heart, sweaty palms, impending sense of doom. “From you, obviously.”

He considers it for a long moment, statuesque, giving almost nothing away. Tav does her best not to squirm out of her seat, pretends to be as aloof and unaffected as he is, to questionable success. The satisfaction glittering in Raphael’s dark eyes makes her grind her teeth. He’s toying with his food, as he is wont to do. Stretching out this moment until she’s at her most uncomfortable. Pulling her nerves taut. The split second before they break, he responds.

“Acceptable. Shall we continue, then?”

“Let’s.”

Tav expects a massacre. Tries to mentally prepare for him to pull the rug from beneath her feet, decimate her pathetic attempts, and then string her up by her metaphorical toes and bleed her for every pathetic confession and admission she can give while he gorges on her emotional turmoil (and masochistic delight). That isn’t what happens. Instead, she wins – in about as loose as the term can be used, but still.

“My, my!” Raphael exclaims, faking every bit of awe as he beholds the board, the claiming of his king, the crumbling of his miniature marble empire. “It seems my devilish wits weren’t enough to stop the might of the Hero of Baldur’s Gate. I’ve been bested. A villain, defeated. Quite the fitting end for this little tale. Don’t you agree?”

Tav sits in stunned silence. Of course he let her do this. She’s not completely delusional (yet), but the implications for why are taking their sweet time sinking into her holey grey matter.

“Ah, but I suppose the Hero wants what she’s owed,” the devil continues, sweeping his arms in a grand gesture. “Let it never be said that I am not a man of my word. Come then, Tav. Claim your prize.”

For a moment, Tav doesn’t move. In some ways this is worse than if he won. Raphael waits, a smirk teasing its way onto his face. He’s challenging her. Daring her. Come into my lair, said the spider to the fly. She’s already here, and she might be stupid, but she’s not a coward. Her knees only tremble slightly as she stands, makes her way to him.

He gets up, too.

He’s not much taller than her, but Tav feels like she’s approaching a mountain. The coals that have been simmering in her belly all evening catch flame. This close, the smell of him is overwhelming: cherries, smoke, fire. The heat he gives off can’t be anything but Infernal, despite his human guise. Anticipation sets her jaw, her throat dry. It’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking as he slowly, slowly, leans forward, dark eyes fixed on her mouth. His breath is hot as it fans across her face. Tav’s lips part unconsciously, eyelids closing. He’s but a whisper away, the silk of his sinful mouth a phantom against her own…

He kisses her cheek. The left one, high on her cheek bone, and though he’s completely composed, she can hear the brief huff of amusement leave his nose as he pulls away.

“There you are,” he says, jovial, almost business-like as she gapes at him, humiliated, flabbergasted, furious. “One kiss, its nature wholly unspecified, delivered as promised. I always deal fairly.”

This fucker’s trying not to laugh. Tav can see the tell-tale twitch of his lips (lips whose imprint burns on her cheek, entirely not where she wanted thank you very much) and the gleam of delight in his eye. Oh yes, he’s had fun with her today.

“Is something wrong?” He asks her innocently when she does nothing but glare at him.

“No,” she grits out.

“Good,” he purrs, unable to stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across his face. “I’d hate to hear that you’re dissatisfied with your victory. I did my very best to acquiesce. As a little advice for the future, from one thrill-seeker to another: you might try being more specific with the terms of your wagers. After all, what’s that saying you mortals are so fond of? Ah, yes. The devil’s in the details. Keep that in mind for next time, hm? Ta-ta.”

A click of his fingers, a spark of hellish magic, and she’s standing in the middle of their rooms at the Elfsong tavern.

“Arsehole!”

From where he’s lounging on a sofa, Astarion lowers the book he’s reading enough to raise an eyebrow at Tav. “Who’s the arsehole, darling, and what have they done?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tav mutters. “Where’s Gale? I need to learn how to play lanceboard.”

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #raphael bg3 #fanfic #cringe

[comradekatara]

How much do I need to pay for some more aang and suki shenanigans?

same girl!!! their friendship (that is almost entirely hypothetical and mostly exists in my head) is soo important to me i just know they’re best friends. like obviously the fact that suki is close with appa and momo already signifies a lot about the nature of their relationship, but they barely interact throughout the show, which makes sense considering that suki is mostly there to supplement sokka’s character and all her other interactions with the gaang are fairly limited (katara and suki friendship though….. also deeply important. to me). but as the most emotionally healthy, stable, self-possessed, and just straight up cool members of the gaang, i just know they’d get along like a house on fire.

i think suki would pretty quickly come to see aang as a little brother figure the same way sokka does, and suki would be the big sister he never had in return. and they definitely get into all kinds of little adventures together after the war, like aang telling suki about the cactus juice incident and suki immediately being like “omg we NEED to try that (don’t tell sokka and katara)”, or going around helping rebuild villages and relocate displaced peoples together, or pranking each other in increasingly crazier ways.

oh yes the aang and suki prank war is very real (toph and katara have a concurrent prank war going on of course; zuko who is far too sensitive & gullible, and sokka who is far too anxious, refuse to be caught in the crosshairs of either of these conflicts). it starts at the western air temple and ends when both of them are dead. everyone on kyoshi island genuinely worships aang like a god and so they think suki is absolutely fucking insane for putting cactus juice in his smoothie right before he’s supposed to deliver a big speech, but she’s just like “no it’s gonna be so fucking funny, just trust me.” (and it is.)

the “putting a “snake” in your sleeping bag and humiliating you in front of your almost boyfriend and his hot dad -> reading katara a really bad poem and then claiming that aang wrote it for her -> loosening the bedframe in your bedroom on ember island so that it crashes during sex (the point at which aang learned NEVER to make sokka collateral damage in these escapades) -> making the whole gaang sit through a colonialist propaganda play just because you know it’ll piss aang off -> putting hot sauce in your red face paint so that it stings and burns your eyelids so bad throughout the entirety of zuko’s coronation day -> nearly causing an international incident because you straight up endangered the life of the avatar” pipeline is so fucking real you guys.

and for what it’s worth, a lot of people assume that aang and suki actually hate each other, and that’s why they’re so invested in this prank war. but they love each other deeply, and that’s evident whenever they’re not in the middle of concocting a nefarious revenge plot, like when they go for long walks together, or just sit and chill outside, or cook together, or any other one of the many other activities they enjoy in each other’s company. they don’t hold grudges either. the pranking is fun for them because they’re both secure enough in themselves to understand that it’s being done out a shared sense of joy and whimsy, and not out of any desire to genuinely antagonize the other. to be fair, sometimes their pranks do actually go too far in various ways, but again, no hard feelings. it’s just a testament to the skill of the pranker, and an invitation for the other to step up their game.

#professordino #asks #aang #suki #aang&suki #go thru that tag for more aang&suki shenaningans. btw #they are so important to me #as are all big sister little brother relationships…… for no reason in particular . of course

[kirbyddd]

#thief the dark project #thief 2 the metal age #yes the origins of the mechanists and city watch are fully explained #as well as the origins of the trickster and the nature of the eye #and the world's predisposition to forming citystates rather than nations and the fall of the precursors #also sorry Deadly Shadows the Keepers are not jedi and are a young Order compared to the Hammerites #go find a different series to inject your starwars fanfiction into #(I love Deadly Shadows by the way but it goes far beyond butchering the Thief story it's outright not even the same setting) #read the botany book by Constantine's bed and then play The Cathedral by the way #the nobility and barony and spiritual realm still arent fully explained though. Thief 2 Gold i miss you so much you wouldve given us it all #(T2G wouldve let us explore a noble university and the tower of the banished Hand Brotherhood acolyte) #(and also wouldve given us the actual version of Karras' story instead of the sudden ending) #Thief 3 wouldve been insane. Can you imagine the fall of the Barony and the City changing hands as the digital era approaches #oh yeah Thief is a post-electrical revolution modern setting with analogue electronics and advanced medicine didnt you know that? #you just don't see firearms often because there was little demand for them in the City compared to more versatile bows. but theyre there #theyre just used more for field and naval battle. the City is too cramped and winding for them to be effective #and there hasnt been the demand to lead to the development of advanced loading mechanisms #due to the fortification-centric nature of infrastructure (due to REDACTED) premodern structures arent torn down just reinforced with steel #yes you learn all of this if you actually play the games all the way through. the opening levels of T1 are bait and switch #portraying the world as primitive and backwards as seen through garrett's eyes #dont get me started on garrett's full character. play Ambush! and really look through his apartment

[astrxealis]

really want to read more and more literature (esp classics!) aghhhh yesterday iirc i was on a walk with my mom and twin and an old guy (not a weirdo dw) who was jogging or walking too actually asked what book i was carrying and it's a little funny bcs uhm he just went "oh a classic!" you see. i was carrying dante's inferno. which i still haven't properly started to read but anyways he might... if my mom is right... be the local parish guy so oopsies !! LMAO anyways yeah really interested in lovecraft for a while now! horror scares me and gives me paranoia but i also enjoy the writing of it? and i remember once that something/someone said my writing is kinda similar to his. hm.

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i never talk about literature here but hi i grew up reading books and i really love literature. both fiction and non-fiction! admittedly i #less prefer modern books because i prefer classics and all that? and i kinda fucking hate people who only like boring and/or famous #literature lmfao fuck you but anyways putting my bitterness aside! arthur conan doyle with 'sherlock' of course & 'a dream within a dream' #dazai with 'no longer human' is something i think i'll really enjoy reading one day as well and hmm #i never properly read 'lord of the rings' despite my relative having the books and i borrowed it once? but didn't make the time to actually #read it unfortunately :(( 'the great gatsby' is something i also have yet to read and then jane austen's works! #and then. louisa may alcott ... i asked my mom right now about her books that we have/had and i did not fucking know we had #'little women' all this time holy shit. i remember reading 'a modern cinderella' but also i am unsure now... but yeah. that/those too! #shakespeare's works are of course a must-read hehe we do have 'the tempest' and i've read a couple of his works but only a little bit #either based off the knowledge i just. know. or for school back then! but yeah. you probably know his works already lmao <3 #and then uhmm 'phantom of the opera' we have now as well! bought it alongside yk. 'the tempest' 'inferno' 'paradise lost & regained' #a few months ago but tbh i haven't made it very far in reading any of them yet but i really want to sometime! and learn more guitar! #and get back to playing piano and also finish and play more games but anyways. yes. #george orwell's books! we have a few if i'm not mistaken (love my family fr) i really want to read them. my dad keeps recommending #his works for us to read. especially 'animal farm' but i've heard '1984' is really good. i also really want to read more of narnia! #only ever read the first book and wow it meant a lot to me tbh? with. growing up and all. and then i read a bit of another book hmm. #'to kill a mockingbird' was something i have wanted to read since i read 'the hunger games' as a kid because i for some reason connected #the two in a way because of the word mockingbird. and then uh other books that i don't think are as... classics. idk what are classics tbh. #BUT okay yeah i still haven't read 'a monster calls' but i know it made my twin and mom cry! and then 'the fault in our stars' we have but #i also haven't read it... haven't read the witcher books either and then george r. r. martin's stuff. tbf i'm not an adult yet so lmfao. #'the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy' i know my dad really wants to read and i know my tita has it but i'm not completely sure if we have #it ourselves too now? but yeah. really interested in that book as well. and then i have yet to read 'frankenstein' and then i'd love to #reread books from my childhood from authors like roald dahl !! and then man i should read more from #neil gaiman ... i've read his short stories? and a book. or few. i can't really remember. #anyways. okay. running out of tags but i really love literature ..... <3 #also want to read more of modern literature tbh! the ones that are actually good tho <33

[gottagobuycheese]

there’s got to be a faster way to play this game but How

#not that I don't absolutely love meandering my way around this world and chatting to all the NPCs #but I want to start octopath traveller ii when I still have time and before there are too many spoilers floating around #and I can't DO that when I'm barely even halfway through the first one #at this rate it's going to be years before I finish... #which is fine but like also. I want to Know What Happens #I could do this by just looking up the stories sure but I want to PLAY IT #but I want to play it faster >:( #<- says the person who learned you can fast-travel between taverns somewhere around hour 60 or so yet has refused to do so #‘~60.5 hours for the main game and maaaaaybe 100-ish for completionists’ BUT WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT FIGHTING #WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEED TO TRAVEL ON FOOT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO WEAK TO MISS OUT ON ANY EXPERIENCE #WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO FORGET WHERE ALL THE HIDDEN CHESTS AND SIDE QUESTS ARE AND HAVE TO RE-FIND THEM EVERY TIME #all these side quests are haunting me...yes this name sounds familiar no I do not know from when or where #good luck finding your lost lover sir #I'm pretty sure I've met her like 4 times but I can't remember where she is #and because I hit A too fast you will no longer tell me her name :/ #could I simply look up this information? yes. but I want to bumble around authentically as much as possible like with botw #‘IS THERE A FASTER WAY TO DO THIS!!’ I scream while doing everything as slowly and inefficiently as possible #cheese plays octopath traveller #<- unlikely to be used more than once but Who Knows #I'm glad I actually got to play video games today though even if it didn't quite hit the level of enjoyment i was hoping for #two unexpected days of in a row man I never want to go back to work #but I also don't want to exist in my own head forever doing nothing #I don't want to move forward. but I also don't want to stay here #do you see the Dilemma #anyways time to go train h'aanit on the way back to whoever the heck's chapter 3 I was supposed to be getting to #while training for tressa's chapter 3 that I put on the backburner years ago because the boss was too hard #I LIKE to think our posse is strong enough to take it now but I feel like I keep disproportionately training certain people over others #it's so much harder to keep everyone on relatively equal footing in this game than in pokemon :( #Primrose my first ever companion how I miss thee </3 I'm sorry I so rarely need to use your skills for anything

[caparrucia]

Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.

Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.

And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"

But like.

If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.

So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.

There is no nuance to this.

A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.

That's it.

That's all.

"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.

"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.

"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.

"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.

"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.

But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.

"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.

#shut up rie

[hallowxiu]

How the Brothers Would Deal with MC's Mortality

Mammon:

You casually brought it up as a joke

Probably something like “i’m here for a good time, not a long time” or “why should i care what happens in 100 years? It’s not like i’ll be around to care”

Would probably confuse Mammon at first as to why you wouldn’t be around, but he would put the pieces together in the middle of the night when trying to sleep.

A whole, eyes snapping wide opening and flinging out of his bed kind of moment.

Mammon would worry himself sick

Yes, he knows humans can die, hell, he used to mock you for being so frail when you first came to the Devildom, but now? 

Well, now things are different. How he feels about you is different

He's spending all his money on ways to keep you kicking longer. 

Anything he can think of that’ll help, he’s buying it. Vegetables, fruits, protein powder, comfortable clothes, a nice pillow, vitamins, shampoos- anything. He has no idea where to start, so he just starts grabbing everything. 

I mean, something will have to help, right? 

If you notice he looks panicked, don’t point it out, it’ll only make it worse. Unless you want to be smothered to death from his affection and worry, then by all means. ;)

Leviathan:

Look, he can barely handle his favorite anime characters dying, so you? Yeah, no, that’s way too much. 

Nothing actually popped up to remind Leviathan of your mortality, it was because of Satan throwing his books all around the house that did it. 

Suddenly, it was all he could think about. How did he not think of this before? 

Leviathan is no Satan though, and he’s certainly not Lucifer. Researching medical documents and trying to think of things to keep you alive longer are a little over his head. That being said, there were some things he could do.

Leviathan dove into his own research that would be within his realm of understanding, studying that humans who have more positive mindsets and who are less exposed to depressing forms of media, may live longer than the average person. This- this was something he could work with. 

Suddenly, you were constantly being invited to his room, Leviathan having a variety of slice-of-life anime for you to watch with him, all of which had happy endings to boot. If an anime was even remotely depressing, he made sure to keep that out of reach. 

Video games? He’s keeping it safe; he’s not risking anything here. If it’s not similar to Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Dreamlight Valley, or The Sims (which must be on a good day), you’re just not playing it. Kingdom Hearts if you’re lucky. 

Satan:

Would do an insane amount of research 

Likely overheard the topic on a news segment about the tragically short lifespans of humans before it all clicked together.

Satan, unlike the other brothers, has never experienced death before, so while it sounds silly, he never had reason to think of you dying.

Looks up humans who had long lifespans to see how he can implement those things into your lifestyle.

Books will be littered everywhere (although that’s not really unusual, but what is would be the topic of said books- The Long Lives of Humans, Human Lifestyle for Dummies 101, The Road to Human Immortality, etc. etc.)

This is when Satan learns just how easy it is for a human to kick the bucket.

Heart attacks, brain aneurysms, strokes, seizures, cancer, the list goes on and on and it’s starting to scare him. He didn’t know humans could just drop dead. 

He’s going to start researching curses to increase your lifespan, or at the very least he’s going to make sure you’re careful as hell. 

You won’t even get as much as a cut without him being aware of it; he’s going to hover around and mother hen the absolute shit out of you. 

Try not to get too annoyed with him though, it all stems from good intentions. 

Asmodeus:

He’ll be damned if his shopping partner for life is going to die on him.

Asmo isn’t stupid; if anything he’s pretty emotionally aware. He's known for a long time just how short the lifespan of humans is.

But still, it came in the form of a nightmare. One where he couldn’t save you, despite giving his best efforts. The way you died was tragic, long before your life should have ended. 

This sent Asmo somewhat into a frenzied state trying to find things to keep you alive once he woke up. 

Vitamins, vitamins, vitamins

Humans benefit from vitamins, right? Surely you’d benefit from Devildom vitamins then. If it’ll increase the lifespan of a demon, he sees no reason why it wouldn’t increase your lifespan. 

Of course, it really only gives you nicer nails and shinier hair. 

He’s 10x more intense with your morning and night routines. 

He will be unloading all his facial creams on you, and telling you the benefits of each one and how it might add a few years to your lifespan. 

You want to stay up late at night to finish homework? Maybe watch a movie? Yeah, no, not on Asmo’s watch. 

Your ass is going to bed every night at 10pm, right along with him. You do realize you’ll be getting exactly 8 hours of sleep each night, too, right? 

Beelzebub:

Regarding his trauma with Lilith, it came as no surprise when he started to fret over your well-being. 

Poor Beel saw an article that discussed how tragically easy it is for a human to die. The cherry on top? How they could die from simply overeating. 

Overeating isn’t a concept Beel is overly familiar with (because to him, it’s never overeating), and while he knew most people couldn’t keep up with his eating habits, he didn’t think it could actually cause harm to a human, let alone kill them. 

Grocery trips are now a more anxiety-inducing event. 

He’s suddenly paranoid that any of the Devildom food could and will kill you. Are you allergic to anything? How would you even know? 

What if one day he serves you his favorite boiled dragonhead and you just drop dead at the dinner table?? No, that will never do. 

There’s a list of Devildom foods that he knows for sure you can have without dying, but then comes the issue of portion control. How much is too much for a human? 

Beelzebub swore he would never lose another loved one again, and it’s a promise he intends to keep. From now on, you will only eat what he deems safe. 

You want to try a new food in the Devildom that you’ve never had before? You better get some seriously good convincing skills if you want him to cave in. For someone who only ever thinks with his stomach, he’s surprisingly stubborn. 

Belphegor:

He’s still plagued with nightmares about Lilith, especially since he still thinks it’s his fault. Tack that on to the way he blamed you and the rest of the human race for it? The man is walking trauma. 

 Like Asmodeus, this was brought on by nightmares about you dying. Different from Asmo’s, however, you usually died by his hand. Naturally, considering your tumultuous history. 

Belphegor, unlike his brothers, takes a different approach. He just doesn’t approach you at all. 

What better way to keep your lifespan long than by staying away from you altogether? 

Is it something that he wants? Of course not! But how can he trust himself to never hurt you again? To never kill you again. 

He can’t. 

So, he locks himself away in his room, sleeping most of the day or just avoiding the areas you normally like to lounge. 

On a normal day, almost everyone in the household, including yourself, would notice this behavior change. However, since you’re now being cornered by all the brothers and their concerns about your lifespan, it’s easy for Belphegor’s absence to slip your mind. 

This hurts Belphegor, but at the end of the day, he believes this is for the best.

Lucifer: 

Lucifer didn’t need a reminder of your short lifespan; if anything, it’s something he’s thought plenty about. 

Lucifer has trauma, we all know that much. After Lilith, he’s absolutely terrified of losing another loved one to something outside of his control.

And your lifespan is not something that’s out of his control. At least not how he sees it, anyway. 

If you thought he was overbearing or overprotective before, brace yourself. He’s going to step it up several notches. 

No excess of junk food, no more pulling all-nighters, no more sitting around the house gaming all day, and definitely no more overexerting your use of magic. He’s no fool, he knows the toll your magic could eventually take on your body. 

Honestly? He wasn’t this bad until his brothers started to panic about your mortality, and though Lucifer told himself he was above such nonsense, he quickly found himself taking all the precautions they were taking (and then some). 

Fortunately, if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, they’ll be more than willing to listen to you (granted you take some of their concerns into account).

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #nightbringer #shall we date #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #levi #satan #asmodeus #asmo #beelzebub #beel #belphegor #belphie #drabbles #obey me headcanons #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphie

[talkbycolor]

john doe game headcanons . . . ↷

A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS

Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader

CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball

john doe as a partner.

His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.

He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!

He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die

He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound

Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches

At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you

But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality

He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.

He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow

It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.

If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try

And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse

If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough

Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.

In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you

Loves physical contact and quality time

Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.

Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man

He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.

Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair

Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.

♡

#nb reader #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #john doe #john doe game #john doe x reader #john doe x you #headcanons #writers on tumblr #john doe game headcanons #john doe visual novel #yandere visual novel #yandere x reader #yandere #smut #gn reader

[anim-ttrpgs]

Help Save the World of TTRPGs and Their Creators.

Okay I’m being a little dramatic, but at the same time I’m pretty serious. This is a call to action, and the livelihoods of myself and lots of other people, many of them (like myself) disabled, are depending on it. This is a post about why, what you can do about it, and (perhaps least often answered) how.

This post is actually an accompaniment to another discussion by someone else. If you don’t want to listen to a 90-minute in-depth discussion of much of what I’m about to tell you, you can just keep reading. Otherwise, click here or here and listen to this either before or after you read this post. (They’re the same thing, just different sources.)

If you have ever made or reblogged posts urging people to switch from Google Chrome to Firefox, you should be willing to at least give a try to other TTRPGs besides D&D5e for much the same principle reasons. I’m not telling you you have to hate D&D5e, and I’m not telling you you have to quit D&D5e, I’m just asking you to try some other games. If you don’t like them, and you really want to go back to D&D5e, then go back to D&D5e. But how can you really know you won’t like other games if you have literally never tried them? This post is a post about why and how to try them. If you’re thinking right now that you don’t want to try them, I urge you to look below to see if any of your reasons for not wanting to try them are covered there. Because the monopoly that WotC’s D&D5e has on TTRPGs as a whole is bad for me as a game designer, and it’s bad for you as a game player. It’s even bad for you if you like D&D5e. A fuller discussion of the why and how this is the case can be found in the links above, but it isn’t fully necessary for understanding this post, it’ll just give you a better perspective on it.

If you’re a D&D5e player, I’m sure at some point or another, you’ve been told “play a different game”, and it must get frustrating without the context of why and how. This post is here to give you the why and how.

[The following paragraph has been edited because the original wording made it sound like we think all weird TTRPGs suck.]

Before that though, one more thing to get out of the way. I'm going to level with you. There’s a lot of weird games out there.

You are gonna see a lot of weird TTRPGs when you take the plunge. Many of them try to completely reinvent what a TTRPG even is, and some fail spectacularly, others really do even up doing something very interesting even if they don't end up being what a core TTRPG player wants. But not every indie RPG is a Bladefish, lots and lots of them are more 'traditional' and will feel very familiar to you, I promise. (And you might even find that you like the weird experimental bladefish type ones, these are usually ideal for one-session plays when your usual group can't play your usual game for any reason.)

You're also going to probably see a lot of very bad games, and man have I got some stories of very bad games, but for now I'm just saying to make sure you read the reviews, or go through curators (several of which will be listed below), before you buy.

Now that that is out of the way, I’m going to go down a list of concerns you may have for why not, and then explain the how.

“I don’t want to learn a whole new set of rules after I already spent so much time learning D&D5e.”

Learning a new set of rules is not going to be as hard as you think. Most other TTRPGs aren’t like that. D&D5e is far on the high end of the scale for TTRPGs being hard and time-consuming to learn and play. If you’ve only played D&D5e, it might trick you into thinking that learning any TTRPG is an overwhelmingly time-consuming task, but this is really mostly a D&D5e problem, not a TTRPG problem as a whole.

“D&D5e has all of these extra online tools to help you play it.”

So what? People have been playing TTRPGs without the help of computers for 50 years. To play a well-designed TTRPG you won’t need a computer. Yes, even if you're bad at math. There are some TTRPGs out there that barely even use math.

“I’m too invested in the narrative and characters of my group’s current ongoing D&D5e campaign to switch to something else.”

There are other games, with better design made by better people for less money, that are the same kind of game as D&D5e, that your current characters, lore, and plot will fit right into and do it better. And no, it's not just Pathfinder, there's others.

“I can’t afford to play another TTRPG.”

You probably can. If you’ve only played D&D5e, you might have been made to think that TTRPGs are a very expensive hobby. They aren’t. D&D5e is actually uniquely expensive, costing more than 3x more than the next most expensive TTRPG I can think of right now. Even on the more expensive end, other TTRPG books will cost you no more than $60, most will cost you less than $20, and a whole lot of them are just free. If you somehow still can’t afford another TTRPG, come to the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book club mentioned below, nominate the game, and if it wins the vote we will straight up buy it for you.

(By the way, if you had any of the above concerns about trying other games besides D&D5e, that really makes it sound like you are in a textbook abusive relationship with D&D5e. This is how abusers control their partners, and how empires control their citizens, by teaching you to think that nothing could ever get any better, and even though they treat you bad, the Other will treat you even worse.)

“If I don’t play D&D5e, which TTRPG should I play?”

That’s a pretty limited question to be asking, because there will be no one TTRPG for everything. And no, D&D5e is not the one TTRPG for everything, Hasbro’s marketing team is just lying to you. (Pathfinder and PbtA are not the one system for everything either!) Do you only play one video game or only watch one movie or only read one book? When you finish watching an action movie like Mad Max, and then you want to watch a horror movie, do you just rewind Mad Max and watch it over again but this time you act scared the whole time? No, you watch a different movie. I’m asking you to give the artistic medium of TTRPGs the same respect you would give movies.

“I want to play something besides D&D5e, but my friends won’t play anything else!”

I have several answers to this.

Try showing them this post.

If that doesn’t work: Make them. Put your foot down. This works especially well if you are the DM. Tell them you won’t run another session of D&D5e until they agree to give what you want to do at least one try instead of always doing only what they want to do. This is, like, playing 101. We learned this in kindergarten. If your friend really wants to play something else, you should give their game a try, or you’re not really being a very good friend.

If that doesn’t work, find another group. This doesn’t even mean that you have to leave your existing group. A good place to start would be the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club which will be mentioned and linked below. You can also go to the subreddit of any game you’re interested in and probably meet people there who have the same problem you do and want to put together a group to play something other than D&D5e. You might get along great with these people, you might not, but you won’t know until you try. Just make sure to have a robust “session zero” so everyone is on the same page. This is a good practice for any group but it is especially important for a group made of players you’ve just met.

“I only watch actual plays.”

Then watch actual plays of games that aren’t D&D5e. These podcasts struggle for the same reasons that indie RPGs struggle, because of the brand recognition and brand loyalty D&D5e has, despite their merit. I don’t watch actual plays, or else I would be able to list more of them. So, anyone who does watch actual plays, please help me out by commenting on this post with some non-D&D5e actual plays you like. And please do me a favor and don’t list actual plays that only play one non-D&D5e system, list ones that go through a variety of systems. The first one I can think of is Tiny Table.

“I can just homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e.”

Even though I want to, I’m not going to try and argue that you can’t actually homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e. Instead, I’m going to ask you why you’re buying two $50 rulebooks just to throw away half the pages. In most other good RPGs, you don’t need to change the rules to make them fun, they’re fun right out the box.

“But homebrewing D&D5e into any kind of game is fun! You can homebrew anything out of D&D5e!”

Firstly, I promise that this is not unique to D&D5e. Secondly, then you would probably have more fun homebrewing a system that gives you a better starting point for reaching your goal. Also, what if I told you that there are entire RPG systems out there that are made just for this? There are RPG systems that were designed for the purpose of being a toolbox and set of materials for you to work with to make exactly the game you want to make. Some examples are GURPS, Savage Worlds, Basic RolePlaying, Caltrop Core, and (as much as I loathe it) PbtA.

“I’m not supporting WotC’s monopoly because I pirate all the D&D5e books.”

Then you’re still not supporting the smaller developers that this monopoly is crushing, either.

Now, here’s the how. Because I promise you, there’s not just one, but probably a dozen other RPGs out there that will scratch your exact itch.

Here’s how to find them. This won’t be a comprehensive list because I’ve already been typing this for like 3 hours already. Those reading this, please go ahead and comment more to help fill out the list.

First, I’m gonna plug one of my own major projects, because it’s my post. The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club. It’s a discord server that treats playing TTRPGs like a book club, with the goal of introducing members to a wide variety of games other than D&D5e. RPGs are nominated by members, then we hold a vote to decide what to read and play for a short campaign, then we repeat. There is no financial, time, or schedule investment required to join this book club, I promise it is very schedule-friendly, because we assign people to different groups based of schedule compatibility. You don’t have to play each campaign, or any campaign, you can just read along and participate in discussion that way. And if you can’t afford to buy the rulebook we’re going to be reading, we will make sure you get a PDF of it for free. That is how committed we are to getting non-D&D5e RPGs into people’s hands. Here is an invite link.

Next, there are quite a few tumblr blogs you can follow to get recommendations shown to you frequently.

@indierpgnewsletter

@indie-ttrpg-of-the-day

@theresattrpgforthat

@haveyouplayedthisttrpg

@indiepressrevolution

Plenty of podcasts, journalists, and youtubers out there do in-depth discussions of different systems regularly, a couple I can think of off the top of my head are:

Storyteller Conclave (I’m actually going to be interviewed live on this show on April 10th!)

Seth Skorkowsky

Questing Beast

The Gaming Table

Rascal News

Lastly, you can just go looking. Browse r/rpg, drivethrurpg.com, indie press revolution, and itch.io.

Now, if you really want to support me and my team specifically Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!

Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)

We also have merchanise.

#dnd #dnd5e #dnd 5e homebrew #dungeons and dragons #d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons 5e #dnd 5e #5e #homebrew #dungeons & dragons #critical role #crit role #dimension 20 #actual play #matt mercer #wizards of the coast #wotc #hasbro #ttrpgs #ttrpg #ttrpg community #ttrpg tumblr #tabletop #roleplay #roleplaying #roleplaying games #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop role playing game #fantasy rpg

[wileys-russo]

Alessia Russo, “You are not wearing that.”, older sister Russo that’s overly protective

(Maybe reader plays for Arsenal and the team is going to a bar?)

sisterly duties II a.russo

"you're coming right?" kyra asked, bumping her shoulder into you as the team all discussed their upcoming night out, having just won 6-0 and all riding out the high of victory.

"no she's not!" your older sister chimed in before you could even answer. "what! yes i am." you scoffed sending her a filthy look across the room as alessia rolled her eyes.

"oo you're so scary." the taller girl mocked with a pout as you continued to glare in her direction. "she's got assignments to do and she's too young to go to a bar." alessia again answered for you, packing up her belongings ready to head off.

"i am not! i'm nineteen you pillock and i have all day tomorrow to finish my assignment." you rolled your eyes now on the receiving end of her own filthy look. "you're not going." your sister warned again, kyra whistling and sliding a little further away from you not wanting to be involved.

"yes, i am." you locked eyes with her, both of you refusing to look away as the air around you became incredibly frosty. "oh lighten up less! let the kid come and let her hair down she played a brilliant game." leah came to your rescue as you hugged her leg.

"see! co-captain says i can go. you're outranked alyssa." you smirked as her jaw clenched at the purposeful misuse of her name, a simple thing which you knew wound her up to no end having had nineteen years to learn all the ways to get under your sisters skin.

"you always let her get away with everything! you're such a pushover." alessia muttered, sending you another murderous glare as leah grinned. "she's my little protege less, i've gotta look after her so she can follow in my footsteps." leah pinched your cheek with a wink as your smile widened.

"your protege? she's my little sister williamson not yours!" alessia huffed, zipping up her backpack with a roll of her eyes. "yeah but i have actual hopes to be a successful footballer like leah, not some washed up at twenty four striker like you." you smirked as leah coughed to cover up her laugh and walked off.

"no leah come back!" your eyes widened as suddenly you were left defenseless as alessia stood, and you the shortest of all your siblings she easily towered over you with a mean look.

"i love you?" you smiled charmingly, flinching as she raised her arm but it was only to grab your bag from beside you. "hurry up." was all she said, nodding for emily to follow after her who she was giving a lift home as you breathed a sigh of relief.

but just maybe, you should have known better than to assume she'd let your little insult go unpunished.

you were sat in the back of your sisters mercedes with your headphones over your ears, eyes closed and head swaying a little side to side, rather listening to your own music than your sisters polar opposite tastes she had blasting from her speakers.

you hissed as suddenly there was a pinch to your knee, opening your eyes and glaring back at the baby blues which were alight with amusement, slipping your headphones down around your neck with a raised eyebrow.

"what alessia?" you sighed tiredly, the intensity of the game and performance today catching up to you.

"out you get." alessia nodded to the door as you sent her a confused frown, not missing the apologetic wince sent your way through the rearview mirror by emily who sat in the passenger seat.

"what? we're not home yet we haven't even dropped foxy off." your frown deepened, glancing out the window and not recognising the street in which she'd pulled over. "very good. now get out!" your sister mocked sarcastically, motioning for you to leave.

"but i don't know where we are!" you protested as alessia shrugged. "i don't care, you can walk the rest of the way home. out!" the older girl warned, eyes narrowing as if daring you to challenge her as you huffed and unbuckled yourself.

"you are seriously going to make me walk home?" you questioned in disbelief, hand hovering on the door as your sister nodded. "yeah i am. you want to act like a child i'll treat you like one. now out! before i come and make you." the blonde warned seriously as you looked to her teammate for help.

"oh don't look at her! she's not driving." alessia laughed as you scoffed and got out, knowing the taller girl was serious in her threat of dragging you from the car and you'd like to keep a shred of your dignity.

"less this says its a forty five minute walk!" you protested checking your maps app, stood on the sidewalk with wide eyes. "then thats forty five minutes to think about how actions have consequences isn't it? consider this a timeout then, baby russo." your sister smirked starting up the car again.

"all of this for one little teasing comment! you're fucking unhinged alessia!" you scowled as the older girl reached back and grabbed your bag, leaning over emily and dangling it out of the open window as you hurried to grab it before she let go.

"maybe, but you're a nightmare sometimes so it evens out." alessia smiled sweetly. "wait less i don't have keys!" you remembered, your keys still on the hook inside your shared apartment with her since you knew your sister would have her own set.

"oh no. sure hope you don't beat me home then!" the blonde pouted in mock sympathy before grinning and pulling away from the sidewalk and speeding off as you threw your head back with a loud groan.

grumbling obscenities under your breath you shrugged your bag on and stormed off, feet slapping the pavement as you were fueled by anger, shaking your head and tapping away aggressively at your phone before holding it up to your ear.

"mum? you will never guess what alessia's done to me this time!"

~

your anger was still there simmering at the surface as you finally rounded a corner and your complex was in sight, exhaling in relief as your legs ached and you dragged yourself the last hundred or so metres.

but realizing you didn't have your keys which also contained your security tag you let out a pained whine, punching in your apartment number and waiting as the dial tone rang, hugging yourself tightly as the wind picked up.

"yes? did you enjoy your walk?" you could hear the smirk in her voice and immediately wished it was in your sights so you could slap it off of her. "let me in." you grumbled with a huff, shivering a little and glancing upwards as there was a rumble of thunder in the distance.

"did you learn your lesson?" your sister continued as you took a deep breath, knowing that as much as you despised so she really did have all of the power in this situation. "let me in." you repeated with a roll of your eyes.

"apologize first and i'll consider it." she sung out happily and you knew she wasn't alone as several voices called out for her to just buzz you up which she ignored. "less!" you groaned tiredly which she mocked groaning your own name back at you.

"repeat after me; i am so very very sorry for my disrespect because i'm just an insufferable, over dramatic, annoying, immature little shit." alessia ordered as again you took a deep breath.

"i am so very very sorry for your disrespect because you're just an insufferable, over dramatic, annoying, immature little shit." you parroted back with a satisfied grin, the silence that met your response showing she hadn't expected it as finally someone shoved her out of the way and buzzed you in.

with a sigh of relief you hurried inside the building but realizing again you didn't have your security tag you weren't able to access the elevator as you paused to exhale deeply, thinking of all the ways you could murder your sister and get away with it as you had no choice but to take the stairs up to the fourth floor.

if you weren't tired before your legs were basically jelly by the time you kicked open the door to your floor and staggered toward the apartment.

you knocked twice and it swung open revealing lotte who winced sympathetically and opened her arms to hug you but in no mood for it you pushed right past her.

"you told mum on me? seriously? you're such a baby!" you heard alessia laugh from somewhere in the room and you clocked there was two other bodies beside her own sat on the lounge as you ignored everything and made a beeline for your room, making a point to slam your door harshly behind you.

"don't you slam your door!" alessia yelled from the lounge, standing to follow after you with a scowl as lotte pulled her back down with a shake of her head.

"let her cool off less, then you can go and apologise." she patted the strikers shoulder who scoffed. "me? why am i having to say sorry!" she sank back into the lounge with crossed arms.

"um maybe the fact you made her walk like 5 miles home after she played a full ninety minute game?" emily chuckled as both of her friends stared down at her and alessia groaned.

"fine! maybe it was a little harsh." "a little?"

"whats this really about less? i've seen the two of you say much worse things to one another than her joking about you being washed up." lotte questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"why does she idolise leah so much? she's always following her around and they hang out all the time and she's always going on and on about how great leah is and how much she wants to be like leah!" alessia muttered with a roll of her eyes as emily and lotte shared a knowing look.

"she used to follow me around and want to hang out with me and want to play football like me! she's been training as a striker nearly her whole life until she met leah and suddenly defense is all she cares about." alessia mumbled with a huff.

"have you spoke to her about any of this?" lotte questioned with a small smile. "no! she'd just make some smart ass comment about me being needy or something. and i don't need her to want to be like me!" alessia scoffed, meeting her friends eyes.

"okay fine i miss when she idolised me instead and was my little shadow and my protege, not leahs!" alessia admitted with a deep sigh, dragging her hands down her face.

"have you considered maybe she doesn't want to just be your shadow? she'll always look up to you as her big sister less but with football she probably wants to write her own story and have her own career, not have everything she does feel compared to what you've already done." emily spoke softly as alessia frowned, not having considered that before.

"i hate when the two of you are right!" alessia huffed, hauling herself up as the two brunettes grinned and high fived watching her head toward your room.

you heard her knock but ignored it, burying your head under the covers as your door opened and clicked shut again. "go away!" you huffed as your bed squeaked and dipped.

"i'm really sorry for making you walk home, i took it too far." you ripped the covers off and gave her a look of disbelief at the seemingly sincere apology. "what? i am, really." alessia frowned at the look of suspicion on your face.

"can i get that one more time on tape?" you questioned as your sisters eyes rolled and she gently hit you over the covers as you sat up. "sorry for saying you're washed up, you know i don't think that." you apologised back as she smiled gratefully.

"what do you think?" alessia asked, raising an eyebrow as your eyes rolled. "don't bait me for compliments you get enough of those." you teased as she now rolled her eyes.

"i love you." alessia patted your leg still stuck beneath your duvet as you hummed, purposefully not saying it back. "say it back!" your sister ordered, eyebrows furrowing as you grinned.

"i also love me, i love that we have that in common." you smiled as her eyes narrowed and she launched at you. "get off me! you weigh like a tonne." you groaned as she sat her much taller form on top of you causing you to grunt.

"don't body shame me!" alessia gasped, pinching and poking at you as you struggled to throw her off. "i love you too! now get off you're gonna break my ribs." you groaned as she ragdolled on top of you, squealing as you finally got your legs under her and kicked her off onto the floor.

"get out so i can shower! i need a drink." you huffed as she stood, punching you sharply in the arm with a smirk before darting out of your room before you could retaliate.

~

"hurry up! my god you're like four foot tall how does it take you so long to get dressed?" alessia yelled impatiently, tapping her foot and checking the time on her phone, banging on the bathroom door.

"i am five foot four. and it takes time to look this good alyssa!" you finally opened the door and stepped out, grinning as lotte whistled. "you're not wearing that. go change, right now!" your older sister ordered protectively as your face dropped.

"what! your dress is shorter than mine." you accused as she shrugged. "i'm older i'm allowed to wear whatever i want. you're a baby not a hooker, go change!" your jaw dropped at her words.

"alessia! you can't slut shame or sex work shame now its 2024." you reminded as emily and lotte hummed their agreement. "i was not! but you're not wearing that, go and put on something more age appropriate." the blonde crossed her arms and blocked the hallway with her body as you tried to pass her, giving in with a scowl and retreating.

"you're so fucking overprotective!" you yelled as you stomped down the hall.

"hey thats not your room!" your sister frowned as you took a left and entered her room. "i know, i'm wearing that black dress you wore to mums birthday dinner." you announced with a smirk as your sisters eyes widened.

"oh no you're not! don't you dare even look at anything in-" her door slammed in her face with a lock as she gasped and pounded on it with her fist.

"you have exactly three seconds to get out here you little toad and go to your own room before i break this door and your legs!" alessia yelled threateningly.

"should we just call an uber?" emily mumbled to lotte at the other end of the hallway.

"i already called one they're downstairs right now. lets go before she realises!"

#woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #woso community #woso imagine #woso blurbs #alessia russo #engwnt #alessia russo x reader

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Slutmas Day 4

Teach me (Chris)

Request: y'all are play never have I ever and madi asks "never have I ever given a blow job" and y/n like I have never and Chris is like "I mean you can practice on me" half jokingly but then y/n later confronts him about it @ermdontmindthisaccount

Warnings: reciprocated oral, learning how to give a bj, spitting, use of ma/mama, praise and degradation, slight angst, no actual sex, (mentions of Nick getting fucked as they play Never Have I Ever)

“I mean, you can always practice your blowjob skills on me”

Y/n’s pov

I was over at the triplet’s house with Madi for our Saturday night sleepover when Nick decided we should play ‘Dirty Never Have I Ever’ for fun. We obviously all agreed, deciding to sit at the kitchen table, Chris decided to be a smart ass by starting off with a question he knew would have Nick put his finger down. “Never have I ever been fucked in the ass” he loudly laughed, earning a punch from Nick, both him and Madi putting a finger down. “Never have I ever had a wet dream about someone in this room” Matt giggled, putting his finger down along with Chris and I.

“CONCERNING BEHAVIOR!” Nick yelled in disgust, it was now Madi’s turn “Never have I ever given a blowjob” she giggled as her and Nick put their fingers down. “Bitch you’ve never sucked dick before!?” Nick asked in disbelief but before I could answer, Matt added another question. “Are you a virgin? No offense if you are, just asking” he put his hands up in defense, causing me to laugh. “I’m most definitely not a virgin, I’ve just never liked a guy enough to give him a blowjob” I laughed.

Again, Chris being Chris, decided to make an outta pocket joke, “I mean you can always practice your blowjob skills on me” he said before obnoxiously laughing at everyone’s faces. This caused my face to heat up and made my mind go crazy. “Don’t say shit like that you perv” Madi told him in a serious tone. We continued playing until Nick had to put all 10 of his fingers down, that kid is a fucking freaky freak. Once we finished with the game we decided to watch a few movies until everyone started going their separate ways to bed.

Madi and Nick had gone off to his room, leaving me to decide between Matt and Chris for whose room I wanted to sleep in. “Who are you gonna snuggle with tonight Y/n/n” Chris joked, wiggling his eyebrows, “I’m not in the mood to cuddle tonight and I want to go straight to bed. So if you wanna sleep in my room you can but it’s gonna be boring” Matt said tiredly rubbing his eyes. “Chris’ room it is then” I said before giving Matt a hug and a kiss on the cheek “Goodnight Bernard” I sang as Matt gave me an unamused look before heading into his room.

Me and Chris headed down to his room to get changed and brush our teeth, I still couldn’t get what he said earlier out of my head. “I mean you can always practice your blowjob skills on me” not only did that sentence oddly turn me on, it also made me question whether he was actually joking or not. As I was combing my hair, I stood in front of Chris who was sitting on the edge of his bed on his phone. “Can I help you ma’am?” he grinned, quirking his eyebrow at me with a little giggle.

“Actually, yes, I have a question only you can answer. Why’d you say that when we were playing Never Have I Ever?” I questioned, setting my brush down on his desk. Chris looked a little confused, “Say what?” “Uh y-you know, when you said i could practice my blowjob skills on you” I said with a deep blush across my face. He too had a lighter shade of pink paint his cheeks, “I don’t know… I thought it was funny” he tried to shrug it off like nothing. I gave him a disappointed look before sitting next to him on the bed, “Oh… okay then” I replied, causing his eyebrows to furrow together.

“Nevermind” I added on, looking down at my fingers, picking at the skin around my nails. “Huh? Come on, you know I hate when you shutdown like this” Chris said slightly annoyed, “Sorry, I was just gonna asks if you were being serious and could, I don’t know, maybe teach me how to give head?” I blushed heavily, looking back down after seeing his wide eyed expression. “What!? You want me to teach you how to suck someone off!? That’s more of a Nick question than a me question” Chris asked confused and slightly offended.

I quietly said “That’s not what I meant, but- nevermind. It was a stupid idea anyway, I-I’ll just go sleep in Matt’s room. I’m sorry” I told him, upset with myself. I let out a deep sigh, pushing my hair out of my face so I could leave his room before the tears welled up in my eyes could start falling. Chris grabbed my wrist to keep me from walking to the door “Did I do something wrong? Woah, woah, woah, wait! Are you about to cry?” he asked, now extreme concerned with my behavior.

“It’s nothing, just let me go dude” I struggled to get out of his grip, “Y/n, just fucking tell me what you meant!” he angrily stated, gripping onto both of my wrists now. “I was asking if you could teach me by letting me suck your dick! Is that better asshole!?” I raised my voice at him, my anxiety getting the better of me. I felt like a complete idiot, I should’ve just kept my damn mouth shut and I should’ve known he was just joking. Chris started blushing, moving his hands from around my wrists so he could properly hold my hands.

“Oh well… uh- I um was being serious when I said you could practice on me, I just didn’t think you’d actually want to. You know because you said you’ve never liked a guy enough to give him head so, I don’t know. I just assumed you were trying to be annoying like I was, I’m really sorry Y/n/n.” Chris said sincerely. “It’s okay” I sighed back as he let my hands go so I could sit on the bed next to him. “If you really want me to teach you, I will but I can’t just get hard like that” he said with reddened cheeks.

“Plus I’d like feel bad if I cum and you don’t, you know what I mean? Females should always cum first, in my opinion. At least that’s what I do, not that I’ve had sex with a lot of women or anything, my body count is literally three. I always have done a lot of foreplay too though so I could teach you, you’d just have to get me hard first and let me make you cum. Unless you don-“ Chris nervously rambles. “Chris, you’re rambling” I giggled, “Just shut the hell up and kiss me already!” I playfully shoved him.

“Oh trust me, I’m gonna do way more than just kiss you” Chris smirked, moving to sit up against his headboard, “Take your shorts off and come ‘ere. Want you on my lap, mama” he said lowly. I did as he said be slowly got onto his lap, “Hi” I giggled nervously causing Chris to chuckle. “Hi pretty girl” he replied back, pushing some hair behind my ear before resting his hand on my cheek, “If you wanna stop at any point, just let me know and I’ll stop. No questions asked, okay?” he said sincerely.

I nodded before l grabbed his jaw and smashed our lips together, catching him by surprise. Chris’ tongue immediately swiped across my bottom lip and I quickly gave him access, both our tongues fighting for dominance. His hands went from gripping my waist, down to my ass to help me start grinding on him. I started to move a little bit faster which caused Chris to slap my ass, resulting in me pulling away from the kiss to let out a whimpery moan.

“Fuck, I’m sorry” Chris said as his cheeks flushed, “It’s okay, I like it rough” I teased. This made Chris’ eyes go dark as he got fully hard beneath me, “What a freak” he mumbled as his hand came up to choke me and bring me down for another kiss. During this kiss, Chris flipped us over so he was on top, quickly pulling off his pajamas pants and my shirt, stopping to admire my body for a minute.

“Goddamn, you’re sexy baby” Chris groaned and he started kissing up and down my neck before making his way to my breasts. He took my right nipple into his mouth while toying with the left before switching and leaving a few hickies on them. Continuing his kisses downwards, he finally reached my panties, placing a soft kiss against my covered clit. “Mhm Chris… no teasing” I whined, “Sorry, sorry. Can I take these off?” he chuckled while toying with my panties.

“Please, I just need your mouth and fingers already!” I whined again, causing a shiver to go down Chris’ spine as he removed my panties. Chris was almost drooling at the sight, vulgarly spitting onto my pussy before slapping it, resulting in a loud moan for me. “Knew you’d like that you little slut” he growled before diving straight in to eating me out, immediately fucking his tongue into me while his fingers toyed with my clit.

I looked down to find Chris already staring back up at me, his icy blue eyes now clouded with lust. When he switched his fingers and mouth, my hands flew to his hair and gave it a hard tug, causing Chris to groan against me. “Chris please more…” I whined, resulting in him adding another finger, stretching me out some more. He looked up at me completely pussy drunk, I never knew he liked giving head so much but I’m not complaining.

“Fuck baby, s-so good!” I whimpered causing Chris to pull his face away for a second. He once again, vulgarly spit onto my pussy, “Can’t get enough of the way you taste ma! Need you to cum in my fucking mouth” he grunted before getting back to work. Chris added a fourth finger, stretching me out so nicely as he sucked on my clit while flicking it with his tongue.

“Oh shit baby fuck I’m gonna cum!” I cried out as I pulled his hair harder and started grinding on his face. Chris let out a few groans which sent vibrations through my core, causing me to cum all over his face and fingers. He pulled his fingers out of me and stuck them into his mouth to suck off my juices before catching his breath. “You look so hot right now Chris, can’t wait to learn how to suck you off” I innocently smiled.

“Yeah, you excited? I’m gonna be nice and I won’t make you get on your knees, we can do while laying down, I think that’ll be easier for you” Chris smiled back at me. “What do I do? How do I start?” I questioned while taking his boxers off, gasping at his size. “Here give me your hand…” he wrapped my hand around the base of his cock “…there you go. Now I need you to spit on the tip for me, yeah just like that” he instructed me once again.

“Now you’re going to spread it down my cock, the you’re gonna want to start by teasing the tip with your m-mouth” I kind of knew what to do because of porn so I just went straight into it, hoping I was doing it right. I wrapped my lips around the tip, lightly sucking and flicking my tongue across his slit before slowly inching more of his length into my mouth. “Holy- goddamn you’re good at this already!” Chris groaned out, already feeling the pleasure and loving the sight on me.

I pulled away for just a second to ask a question but continued pumping my hand, “Do I um start to deepthroat you now?” I asked. He let out a whiny broken moan, “If you want to y-you can, I just don’t wa-want you to fo-force yourself to do it” he said it so sincerely too. I decided to try anyways and surprisingly I was able to take all of it at once without gagging. “Good girl, just like that, oh fuck mamas” he moaned while guiding my head up and down on his cock.

“Can I- shit! Can I cum in your mouth? I’m so close please ma” he asked, I replied with a moan while looking into his eyes. I full deepthroated him as he came down my throat casing me to moan again. I sucked out every last drop until you pulled me off of him with a pop. “Mhm, you taste so good. Did I do it right?” I smirked already knowing the answer. “Jesus fuck ma, you did so good, I can’t believe that was your first time giving head. C’mer I’m fucking spent and wanna cuddle now” he panted out.

“Who knew you were such a big simp after cumming” I teased. “Shut up and give me your attention!” Chris whined, making me laugh before crawling next to him to cuddle as we both were extremely tired. “Goodnight loser, I’m going to sleep now” I giggled as I kissed his cheek, “Goodnight kid” he smiled back as he held me closed and placed a kiss on my forehead before we drifted off to sleep.

Tag List: @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @christinarowie332 @dev-speaks @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @mangosrar @mangoposts @recklesssturniolo @strniohoeee @sturnphilia @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo

All work is subject to copyright

©️ Daddyslilchickenfingers2

Do not steal my work

#sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo imagine #chris x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplet smut #sturniolo triplets imagine #sturniolo triplets smut #smut #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nate doe #nathan doe #slutmas #daddyslilchickenfingers

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Quick! Info dump about your favorite blorbo!

König headcanons

NSFW content below the cut, 18 + only (These apply to yandere König as well, the toxic stuff is marked with a red flag 🚩)

Does like 50 crunches and 50 pushups first thing in the morning when he wakes up, as he has done since he was a teenager.

Will fix everything from cars to furniture. If the door is creaking he will oil the hinges immediately. Actually, he will treat every single thing in life as a problem... A problem he will fix.

He's great at math and physics and has vast amounts of knowledge about mechanics, thermodynamics, even things like quantum theory and other complex astronomy stuff.

He's completely clueless when it comes to following trends and memes. You have to explain every other tiktok to him. He rarely uses emojis but when he does, it's awkward and slightly intimidating because König doesn't know the hidden meanings behind them. If you send him an eggplant or peach emoji he asks if you need veggies from the store.

Loves your cooking (even if it's just microwaved mac and cheese). If you start to feed this man, you'll never get rid of him.

This is your classic mama’s boy who never had to learn how to cook and then went to the army and got used to the facility taking care of him so… yeah. Doesn't know how to cook but will try to help in any way he can! König is very excited to see you’re making food and wanders into the kitchen like “What are we making today?” You can try and give him a chopping board, an onion and a knife, but this poor man doesn't even peel the onion unless you tell him he has to remove the outer layer first...

Eats like a horse. Is secretly afraid that you run out of food. Goes to the fridge and if it's half full, he will not take the snack he was supposed to have, only comments: "The fridge looks empty." (It's not a passive aggressive statement, he's just worried.)

Also: everytime there's a crisis somewhere – he follows the news neurotically – König starts to prep. There's a month's worth of food stashed in one of the cupboards at all times. He also preps fuel, propane, medicine and the like.

Ruins all the fun when you're playing board games because he fusses about the rules so much. König holds the rulebook in his hand through the whole game and double-checks every single thing.

He's very clumsy, sometimes hits his head on the door frame when he's in a hurry or visiting a new place. He can't stay still either, always shakes his leg when he’s sitting. König needs a lot of exercise when he's not deployed to get all that energy and frustration out.

This has been discussed earlier but yeah, König even drops his mags sometimes in the field because he's too excited. He's a very capable martial artist though. Has done Savate, Escrima and Pekiti-Tirsia Kali and is very agile and precise with the double kali sticks he carries to field sometimes. Suddenly his clumsiness disappears when he has to knife someone, kick someone in the head or beat them to death with those sticks.

This is the reason König fucked up his sniper dreams too: having to control his breath, lie still for long amounts of time, then take aim and shoot a rifle vs. aiming during an adrenaline high, giving a tight spurt or two with his SMG… The latter just comes naturally to him! If you ask him how he managed to take down a human trafficking cell all alone König will say he simply "got carried away."

König goes to the gym a lot. Gets back super pumped and with an urgent need to make love. But not before he's had a cold shower! It's almost like a ritual: he has to torture himself with weights and cold water first before he can have his prize (= access to a woman)

Wakes you up in the middle of the night because he started to worry about petty, stupid things and then got a lil horny. Humps your leg or your back very, very slowly while grunting in your ear: "Hey... Hey. Are you sleeping…?" (Like. Yes, König, I was but I'm not anymore, thanks for asking)

Asks what kind of fantasies you have all of a sudden while you two are cuddling. Asks very detailed questions about them too. If you ask him what kind of fantasies he has in return, König will tense up and then say he doesn't really know, perhaps something like… a blowjob in the forest… And somehow you just know that his real fantasies are so perverse you don't even want to know more about them.

If you "nag" or yell at him, he might get a boner.

If you notice and get offended, ask: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!' König will freeze and look at you with a bewildered, obsessed stare and go: "Ja..?" while the boner situation in his pants gets visibly worse.

🚩 Would never go to bed before you've settled your argument. The problem is that it's very difficult for König to apologize because he always thinks he's in the right and that you simply need some time to come to that conclusion too. If you give him the silent treatment he will eventually come to you, gets all touchy and asks surprisingly demurely: "Are you still angry with me?"

🚩 The minute you forgive him or decide it was a stupid argument anyways, the demure puppy act disappears. König thinks he won and that it's time for some makeup sex ❤️

Has like the longest cock known to man. He has actual trouble finding comfortable underwear to fit that beast into. It's beautiful but intimidating, uncut, smooth and sleek. Not too thick but certainly not thin either. He likes to keep himself tidy down there too so the lack of hair makes this murder weapon look even bigger.

You two occasionally break furniture while having sex. It's mainly his fault (he gets carried away). He's very upset about it afterwards though, looks at the destruction he caused, muttering "Scheisse…" while rubbing the back of his neck. Then he tries to fix it while you're still there with your legs shaking and in need of aftercare.

If you remind him that he has other duties first, perhaps whimper his name in frustration, König will apologize and carry you to bed. He gives you that precious aftercare with unwavering passion and attention every time you ask for it ❤️ He's just a little clueless sometimes (König is also neuroatypical, either has AD/HD or falls somewhere in the autism spectrum)

🚩 Hates condoms with an intense passion. You're practically forced to take birth control pills or whatever so that he can cum inside you. This man's whining will ultimately gain a level that's absolutely ridiculous if you don't.

The first time you do it without the rubber, he sounds like he's about to cry. He tells you a hundred times how good it feels, and won't pull out until he grows soft and is kind of forced to do so. For a man who's never even heard of a breeding kink, he seems vehement about keeping his load inside you.

🚩Grunts and whispers loving but obsessive things in your ear while making love to you. You're mine, Say it, Promise that you're mine, I don't want to live without you, Why do you feel so good? at first… but as he approaches his peak, König switches to German. You have no clue what he’s saying, but from the way he spits those sentences through gritted teeth you get the feeling that it must be something desperate and that perhaps it's a blessing you don't understand his native tongue...

🚩🚩If you leave your phone on the table he tries to stalk it and check the notifications. He's so jealous it's unreal, if he sees you receive a message from some other guy König will start a circus. He needs to know all about your connection with this man. After that, he wants you to go through your contacts and show him how many guys there are and tell him what your affiliations are with them. If you're on social media König wants to go through your friends/those you follow. You have to give an account who they are and why you follow them.

🚩🚩🚩 You get a feeling he's forming a list of people he has to kill if you don't tell him they're just a cousin or something 💀

#answered #könig headcanons #könig x you #könig mw2 #its not quick but its an infodump

[httpsserene]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴛᴄᴀᴍᴘ ᴡ/ᴍᴠ33

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you start showing interest in sim racing. max's only option is to turn you into the best virtual-racer there ever was--well besides himself, of course. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: fluff. brain vomit. formatting (done on mobile💀). tiniest explicit reference. not edited. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: max verstappen x fem!black!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: headcanons & smau 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: word on the streets • key glock

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: thought about this the whole time i was working. and then some man had the exact same voice as max and i genuinely almost dissolved into thin air because i felt like max was punishing me for thinking about this on the clock :) anyways, hope u enjoy the brainrot, loves !!!

wanna be on my taglist ? send me an ask !

and yes, i did make a masterlist !

*whispers* next f1 kinktober fic this weekend

you were probably unaware that sim racing was even a thing until you started dating max

like you’ve seen the funny little twitch clips of people playing driving simulators and being absolute menaces on the road, but you never knew actual virtual racing was a thing

anyways, whether or not you consider yourself a gamer in this scenario, you’ve always been pretty down to play videogames with max.

he absolutely annihilates you in FIFA, and no matter how much he tries to help you, you’re a lost cause

in return, you embarrass him in COD; he should’ve looked at your kd-ratio before he tried to play with you

but, sim racing 🧐

i mean, like, you never even fully considered that you could sim race at all, like not for leisure at least

max takes that shit seriously, he’s a part-time f1 driver full time simracing twitch streamer 😤

you are always around watching him practice on the sim, playing the f1 games, and even tuning in for his iracing competitions

at first, whenever max would stream you would probably be doing other things with your time

your hair, cleaning, self-care, cooking, etc.

eventually, you started migrating to sitting on the couch off-camera and watching him drive irl instead of having the stream on in the background

you were originally like, “oh it’s just because i wanna drool over his massive veiny hands” 🤤

but now it’s like “oh i wonder what each button he presses with his nicely proportioned fingers on the steering wheel does?”

and slowly it transforms from “wow my boyfriend is so cool” to “wait…this sim-racing thing is kinda cool”😵‍💫

now imagine you being like “lol wait a minute now” and being like i'm only interested in because my boyfriend loves it 🤥

in order to disprove this theory you start to ask max questions about virtual racing

not that you wouldn’t before, but they were fairly surface level; now you’re asking him about tactics, strategies, and track conditions etc.

and max is fucking thrilled 🫨🫨🫨 !!!

he eagerly answers all your questions (maxplaning 🥱), going way more into depth than you were expecting, but what did you think was going to happen

max is always happy to ramble about any small facet of virtual racing (doesn’t matter if it’s the sim, or iracing, or f1 2023) but

it makes him really pleased that you’re showing a genuine interest in it because most people don’t

you support him in anything he wants to do wholeheartedly, and listening and answering your well thought out questions has him falling head over heels for you again

so, he thinks nothing of it other than you being the best girlfriend he’s ever had and trying to learn more about what he loves

his previous girlfriends didn’t really care to understand how important vr racing was to him

they all just saw it as him playing a “game” and him wasting time when they could’ve been on dates or smth

anyways

everything is going fine and dandier, max continues to answer all of your vr racing questions, and you continue to watch him pilot the sim

until, he catches you watching a beginner’s guide on f1 2023 and get’s so jealous 😒

bro is all like “wtf, you’re watching some lame ass unranked gamer when i’m your professional driver boyfriend who does this for a living?? hell nah if you want to start playing i’ll teach you”

you’re just like, “nahhhh….i don’t want to waste your time trying to teach me, it’s not worth it. i’m not even a good driver irl, so—“

max shuts that down expeditiously

if his girlfriend wants to start vr racing, he only has one option

make you the best virtual racer there ever was (excluding him)

you’re wide-eyed like, “i just wanna go vroom vroom in circles for fun 😭”

max deathly serious, “that was never an option”

he enlists you in his virtual-racing training camp

if you are aware of the disney rapid training montage where the mc sings one song and suddenly they’re the best fighter ever, that’s how i imagined it

mulan, for example, i’ll make a man out of you

max reveals his inner george russell, he becomes a power point king

instead of date nights being cute pottery classes—they turn into him teaching you the parts of the car, the buttons on the wheel, f1 2023 settings breakdowns, reviewing iracing competitions etc.

eventually max finally allows you to play on the sim after he thinks you’ve got the theory down pretty good

you suck at first 🤗

but then you start clocking in some hours

after work, during your “lunch break”, using the sim while max is gone and playing during all the practice and media sessions

whenever max is gone, and you have any questions or ask for feedback on how to get better, you text him all about it, of course not expecting an immediate response back

max has told you before that he likes getting out of the car after a practice session and checking his phone to see all the missed messages from you with some wishing him luck and the others asking for his thoughts on your strategies

one day, he’s going for lunch with some of the other drivers and they start to make fun of him for how he’s stuck in his phone, heart-eyes and all as he rapidly texts you

they probably think that you’re sending him cute texts or photos like that one time they caught him looking at photos of you and learned he had a locked photo album of you on his phone ☠️

max remains unbothered under their teasing thinking, “they don’t know my gf can out pace them by .200 in f1 2023”

max even personally bothers christian into getting him another sim for you

christian is so tired of you two, max won’t leave him ALONE

i think max would text his team principal screenshots of your lap times and make jokes about it

“if checo keeps dnf-ing, my gf can fill in”

christian gets you the goddamn sim 😒

y’all procrastinate on building and calibrating it, max more so because it means his chair would stop smelling like you 🥺

you get it set up, but you still play on his sim every once in a while after he told you that because you’re a simp

he goes to stream one day, planning on practicing with the redline team for an upcoming iracing event

and the man almost BREAKS HIS LEGS trying to sit down because you forgot to move the chair back after you were done using it 😭😭

in between his groan of pain he let’s it slip “ow fuck, my girlfriend forgot to move the seat back after she was done”

chat goes ducking crazy

yooo, what? ur gf sim races???

is she good???

max is like “hell fucking yeah my girlfriend is great sim racer, she could replace one of the boys at redline if she wanted too!”

(team redline sweats anxiously, mics now suspiciously silent)

max continues, “well she is not as great as me, but she’s good i guess”

stream chat “they are going to have babies that completely dominate f1” “if their babies are born in the netherlands we will be stuck in purgatory cursed with hearing the dutch anthem forever”

max continues with his practice but everyone is begging to see you play, even some of the redline guys are asking questions

they wanna know if they’re really at risk of you stealing their seat

max gives up and turns to you on the couch with a smile and says, “i will beg, schatje. do not put it past me, we all want to see you drive. some people are saying i’m lying so you have to prove them wrong🙇🏼”

you’re like “what 😅 no 😧i suck 🤭 at this 🤗” but you’re already getting up and walking over to boot up your sim

the urge to flex on people and embarrass them is something both you and max share

max opens f1 2023 and starts a party for just you two, and you both decide to do quali laps at zandovoort

you do your hot lap first, and max goes after you

max y’ know, probably thinks that he can take it relatively easier on you, there’s no reason to put 100% effort into something for fun, so he puts in 95% 😀 (competitive boy)

and you know that one nepenthez meme

that’s how this goes

max is like, already rambling to the stream “yeah that’s a comfortable p1, she still has a lot to learn before she can beat a world champ—P2??!!!! 😧😳”

you’re just in the background in your sim chair, turned facing the camera with an innocent little smirk smile on your face ☺️

you got pole by .050, and chat starts bullying max, the redline boys laughing hysterically in his headphones

max requests a rematch and promptly annihilates you :)

i like to imagine that eventually you start joining max’s stream and the two of yous start having little racing tournaments whenever you guys have the time

omg could you imagine the little championship ceremony where you put party hats on jimmy and sassy and have fake little tiny gold trophies for whoever wins 🥹

imagine one day ‼️ you actually start doing iracing events, and just working your way up to being one of the best 😌

ANYWAYS to wrap it up, best teacher max ever

virtual racing 🤝 strong relationships

twitter • today

instagram

maxverstappen1 • 32 mins ago

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo3, and 7,324,122 ofhers

maxverstappen1 the only woman for me 🧎🏼

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram baby. baby—😭😭😭😭

➥ maxverstappen1 i love you

➥ yninstagram what the fuck has gotten into you 😳 i love you, maxy 🫶🏽

user the way ‼️ he cradles ‼️ her head 😭😭

danielricciardo3 this genuinely the sappiest thing max has ever said

➥ maxverstappen1 do not worry daniel you are the only man for me

➥ user my therapist will be hearing about this

user the fact that max personally handmade that meme 💀

user never thought i’d see the day that max uses the kneeling emoji

➥ maxverstappen1 i’m on my knees for her more often than you think

➥ user alRIGHT go ahead and clock out for me 😒

➥ redbullracingf1 do you remember the media training we had two days ago, max?

taglist: @lorarri | @saintslewis | @cherry2stems | @sweetpiccolo-blog

© httpsserene2023

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen x black!reader #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen smau #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #f1 x reader #f1 x black!reader #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x black!reader #f1 x driver!reader #f1 scenario #f1 imagine #f1 fic #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x y/n #red bull f1 #max verstappen x y/n #serene's chapters. #⋆⭒˚｡⋆. series special: formula 1 #♡ ༘*.ﾟ love interest: mv.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the game part one

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, high sex, reader does drugs and drinks, drug dealer!rafe, male and female receiving oral, partying

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs

read part two here!

you watch rafe cameron carefully to learn his ways, what he likes in women, what they do to cause him to approach, or better yet, take them home. you watch as he ignores the girls who throw themselves at him, rather seeking out the hard to get, the aloof, the seemingly uninterested.

rafe cameron is a man who likes a challenge, so that is what you become. you start showing up to parties, in dresses that show the perfect amount of skin. not too much, too slutty for his taste. but not too little to hide your body.

it takes him an hour to head over to you, smirking and delivering a standard pickup line, and as much as you want to submit, you know the chase is what he likes the most, so you roll your eyes and walk away.

he follows you the rest of the night, eyes never straying too far from you no matter where you go. he doesn’t try again to speak to you that night, letting his expression do all the talking. he’s a predator, and you’re the prey he’s got his sights set on.

the next party you wear a form fitting long sleeved dress, and when you take to the dancefloor after a few drinks, you allow rafe to grind against you, feeling his large hands moving all over your body but you don’t go any further that night.

you wait a week before going out again, hoping that rafe is still invested in the game that you’re playing, and when he stalks over to you and interrupts the conversation you were having with a random man, you know you’ve got him hooked.

“can i kiss you?” rafe asks later, having spent the party by your side, either dancing or talking, mostly meaningless conversations to pass the time.

“yes.” you nod, but pull rafe away from the main party area to a darker lit corner, letting him push you up against the wall as his lips attack yours. you moan into the kiss, giving it your all, letting his tongue dominate your mouth.

“take me home.” you whisper against his lips.

“i can take you upstairs.” rafe says, fingers widening on your waist, feeling the satin material of your dress.

“i’m not letting you fuck me in some random strangers house with a party going on downstairs.” you shake your head, hoping this play works. “either take me to your house or this isn’t happening.” “why not your house?” rafe asks, but you shake your head. “unless you want to deal with my older brother, it has to be yours.”

rafe nods, staying silent for a moment as he looks down at you, like he’s trying to see if it’d actually be worth it to take you home. you jut your chest out, pressing your tits against his chest, and that has rafe giving in instantly, dragging you out towards his truck, his hand stroking dangerously high up your thigh as he speeds home.

“want a bump?” rafe asks you upon entering tanneyhill, the house completely silent as rafe has it all to himself.

“yeah.” you say, knowing you shouldn’t, but it will give you the confidence you need, so you inhale the white powder rafe offered you on the side of his finger before he leads you up to his room.

rafe sits down on his bed, looking at you expectantly. the coke now flowing through your veins has you moving instantly, taking the dress of your body and trying to keep the movements slow and sultry as you reveal the lingerie underneath. you watch rafes expression as you strip for him, the fascination on his features clear as the image he built in his head of you, the good girl not so easily willing to give it up to him like so many other girls, gets demolished and replaced with the slut you become for him when you’re alone.

you strip off your bra and underwear, twirling to give rafe a view of your body, hoping he doesn’t notice the slight flaws, like the scar that runs upon your hip, or the way one breast is slightly larger than the other. you quickly shake the thought out of your head, you’ve never felt insecure with a man before, and this is not the time to start.

you move closer to the bed, bending down to kiss rafe in his sitting position, a complete juxtaposition from when he was looming over you before. his hands trail over your naked body, touching your thighs, your hips, your waist, until he gets to your tits, groping them and playing with your nipples with his thumbs. you moan into his mouth to show your appreciation for his movements 

you pull away from the kiss, admiring the glossy look in rafes eyes, mouth slightly parted and lips pink and wet from your kiss. you sink down to your knees, rafe spreading his thighs wider to accommodate your body as you waste no time pressing your hand over his erection, clearly straining against the material of his shorts.

you tug at the zipper, keeping your movements slow and teasing, but rafe is in a bigger rush than you are, lifting his hips and pulling his shorts and underwear down, his large cock jutting out and pulsating, like it’s begging you to take it in your mouth.

you wrap your lips around the head of his cock, bobbing your head up and down, moaning at the taste on your tongue, so good compared to anyone you’ve had before.

“fuck, you’re so good at that baby.” rafe moans, and you haven’t even pulled out your hidden talent of being able to deepthroat, even a cock as large as the one rafe possesses.

you suck on his tip before flicking your tongue over it, satisfied when precum coats your mouth, smiling to yourself before taking him back in your mouth, moving halfway down and then pulling off as you work him with just your mouth, not wanting to bring your hands up to take away from the blowjob you’re giving him.

you pull off and take a deep breath before pushing your head forward, relaxing your throat and letting his cock push all the way down until your nose is nuzzled against his skin, having to repeatedly swallow as to not choke.

you feel rafes cock pulsate in your mouth, but then his hand is in your hair and you’re being pulled off. you frown at rafe as the line of spit connecting your mouth to his cock breaks.

“i wanted your cum.” you say sadly, looking at his cock, the tip a gorgeous pink color that is practically begging you to take back in your mouth.

“and i want to fuck you. get up here.” rafe tugs on your hair gently, just enough to signal that he wants you up on the bed. he pulls his shirt off as you climb up, placing one hand on his chest and having him lay back against the pillows.

“gonna ride you.” you tell him, pressing a kiss to his sweet lips.

“mmm, let me taste that pussy first.” rafe says, and makes no effort to move, and that’s when you realize he’s meaning to have you sit on his face.

“wanna feel your cock though.” you pout, but despite your protests you begin to climb up his body, positioning your knees on either side of his head as your pussy hovers over his face.

“and you will, after i get a taste.” rafe gives you no time to lower yourself on your own, his hands coming to your hips and pulling you straight down onto his face.

his mouth opens, greedily eating out your cunt, already wet just from sucking him off. you moan and have to grip onto the headboard for support as he slurps and sucks, prodding at your hole but ignoring the one place you really want his mouth.

you try to angle your hips to get him to give your clit some attention, but rafe keeps you in place with his hands, occasionally sliding down your hips to grip your ass as your pussy drips into his mouth.

rafe murmurs something against your skin, and you can’t make it out fully but you think he may be saying delicious. he finally drags his wide tongue upward, swirling around your clit before finally giving it a teasingly quick flick.

you cry out, legs shaving as he doesn’t give you any time to get used to the sensation, sucking your clit into his mouth. you feel your orgasm beginning to build, shocked that it’s happening so quickly, but rafes mouth is so skillful.

just when you’re about to go over the edge, rafe lifts your hips up. before you can complain, he’s lining you up with his cock, head pushing into your entrance. you get control of your body again as you sink down the rest of the way, letting a shudder move through your body when he’s fully inside.

“you’re so big.” you tell rafe, circling your hips as you get used to the movement before you begin to bounce, hands bracing on his abs.

rafe keeps his grip tight on your hips, his chin and cheeks shiny with your slick as you continue to bounce and grind, leaning forward and licking over the wetness, tasting yourself on his skin before connecting your lips, making out as you ride him.

“your pussy feels so good.” rafe moans, and you smile against his lips, giving one more peck before you sit back up, straightening to get a better angle as rafe begins to push his hips up against yours, adding to the movements as you work in motion together.

“fuck, i’m gonna cum.” rafe warns, and you move one hand away from his abs to rub at your clit, not surprised neither of you can last long after both almost cumming.

“inside me, please. i’m on the pill.” you probably should have discussed it with rafe beforehand, but you couldn’t imagine asking him to wear a condom, not when you get to feel him fill you.

“fuck, y/n!” rafe yells out, hips jutting up as he cums, his warmth filling your insides as you rub yourself to completion, body falling forward, unable to hold yourself upwards as you cum, his cock still lodged deep inside of you as you slowly stop moving your fingers against your clit.

“that was amazing.” rafe huffs, hand coming to rub at your back.

you let out a yawn, pulling off of rafes cock, letting his cum drip out onto his abs until you can’t push any more out of you.

“let me clean us up real quick.” rafe kisses your cheek as you flop onto the bed next to him, letting out another yawn. 

rafe reemerges from the bathroom with a washcloth, being extra careful when wiping your pussy down before tossing it into the hamper, flopping down onto the mattress with a yawn of his own.

“you don’t mind me sleeping here?” you ask.

“i wouldn’t make you leave.” rafe sounds almost hurt when you ask, and it makes a pang of guilt shoot through your chest.

you smile, letting rafe pull you into him. you press your head to his chest, not surprised by how quickly rafes breathing turns deep, slipping into a deep sleep. you wait, you’re not sure how long but it’s at least an hour, before sneaking out of bed, making sure to move slowly and carefully to not wake rafe up. 

your body misses his heat as you get dressed, smirking to yourself when you leave your underwear on the floor for rafe to find in the morning.

you head carefully down the stairs, making sure nothing creaks too loud as you search the house silently, keeping your ears open in case rafe wakes up. you’re about to give up when you find a storage closet, eyes widening when you open it to find the shelves full of packed cocaine, along with a few briefcases that upon peeking inside reveal they store money.

found camerons stash. meet me outside in 5 minutes. you send your accomplice a text, smirking to yourself as you grab as much of the cocaine as you can carry.

you spent weeks devising the plan, of getting rafe to fall for you and get yourself into his house, into his bed, only to rob him blind. it’s not your fault he didn’t recognize you as the younger sister of his only rival dealer on the island.

you load everything into the vehicle, briefly glancing up at rafes window with a smile on your face, knowing that you just won the real game.

read part two here!

#this is def a fic i should proofread #but no. #rafe fic #rafe fanfic #rafe fanfiction #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe one shot #rafe smut #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #obx one shot #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb #obx smut #outer banks smut #outer banks fic #obx fic

[strangersteddierthings]

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Alright y'all. We had the hurt, let's get some comfort started.

-

Steve leans against his door, expecting Eddie to follow him upstairs to continue their argument because Eddie's never been one to back down from an argument as far as Steve can tell, so he's using his weight to keep the door shut. It takes about five minutes of just leaning against the door before he hears a few light knocks on the door. He pretends he didn't hear them and soon starts to hear Eddie monologue-ing on the other side. He thinks he hears a 'sorry' and an 'I fucked up' but he doesn't really tune in until Eddie says something about cancelling Hellfire.

Spinning quickly, he yanks the door open and says, "You better not fucking cancel!"

"What? Don't you, like, want me out of your house?" Eddie looks startled and sounds confused.

"What I want is for the kids to get to play Dungeons and Dorks for an afternoon, just getting to be kids and fight against monsters that can't actually kill them," Steve says as he goes to put his hands on his hips (a move that Robin calls his Bitch Stance) but realizes he can't while still holding a book, so instead he folds his arms across his chest, cradling the book to his body.

He waits for Eddie to call him out for saying dorks instead of dragons, but Eddie just blinks at him, quiet for a moment before he says, "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll just, uhh, I'll be back closer to noon, then. For the game."

"Don't you have prep to do?" Steve knows he's trying to pick a fight now but he's angry, and sad, and hurt underneath it all. Also, he doesn't understand the change in Eddie suddenly. Ten-ish minutes ago Eddie had shouted back I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even! Where is that anger now?

"No. Not, uh, not really," Eddie says, avoiding meeting Steve's gaze, face turning a very light pink. "I was- I mean, yes, there was prep, but I did a majority of that already and what's left will take maybe three minutes so..."

Steve's confused now, still trying to cling to his anger. "But you called and asked if it was okay to come early specifically for that reason."

Eddie doesn't respond right away. He turns around to walk to the wall opposite Steve's door and thump his forehead against it. Steve is perplexed by the behavior (but he's been perplexed by Eddie since finding him at Reefer Rick's) so he just watches in silence as Eddie heaves a sigh and turns around to slump against the wall, facing Steve once again. He runs a hand through his hair, then drags that hand back forward and down his face. "Yeah. I did do that."

"So, what, you lied? Why?"

"I just wanted to hang out," Eddie whispers, like it almost hurts him to say out loud, which is such a weird thing to hear because it makes Eddie seem small in a way Steve's never seen him. Even during spring break Eddie was never small or quiet; his fear manifested as shouting, for fuck's sake. It chips away at the last of Steve's anger. He's long past the days of kicking someone when they're down.

"You... wanted to hang out," Steve repeats before heaving a sigh of his own, long-suffering man that he is. Maybe it is time to bury the hatchet and actual deal with this. If nothing else, it'll result in Steve being less defensive around Eddie when everyone hangs out, like for movie night or BBQs. Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to so he says, "Listen, I think we've got some shit to hash out, or whatever, so that should probably be done or, like, things are going to be weird when we all hang out, but I can't do that right now, man. So, stay or go, just make that game happen at noon. I'm going to stay up here."

Eddie nods, weirdly sullen and quiet again, as he says, "Yeah. Umm, maybe after the game? If you're feeling up to it."

"Sure. After."

Eddie raps his knuckles against the wall behind him twice before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. He pauses to look over his shoulder and say, "If you wanna watch, or listen in, or something, I don't think anyone will mind." And then he's heading down the stairs.

Retreating back to his room, Steve tosses the book onto his bed before flopping face first next to it. He groans into his comforter before reaching for the book. He props himself up on his elbows and stares down at the cover before opening it to see Christopher's handwriting on the inside cover.

It's been years since he thought about Christopher and even longer since he's laid eyes on the books. He was so sure his mom had just gotten rid of them. All this time, they'd been right where he left them, shoved just far enough back to be out of sight on the shelf. His last link to Christopher.

That's not true, Steve scolds himself. His cousins, Amber and Robert, are still alive and in Washington. His grandparents still live on that farm in Michigan. Steve just hasn't seen them since the funeral.

He hadn't gone back to the farm the summer after freshman year, or any year since. His parents thought he was old enough to stay home for a whole month in the summer alone now, instead of paying to ship him off to his grandparents. Steve's old enough now to know that was why he'd spent a month every year out on the farm; so his parents could go off on longer work trips. Once they'd decided Steve was old enough to stay alone for the summer, that quickly reached other seasons and by the time Steve was a junior, the were gone more than they were home.

He doesn't even remember when he last spoke to them in person. He thinks the last phone call was right after Starcourt. It was just to make sure Steve got to job hunting, since his place of employment had burned down and the bills wouldn't pay themselves. Which is true. He doesn't have to pay rent, but all the utilities are in his name now.

Jesus, he doesn't want to be thinking about them.

He goes back to the book, flipping through the pages absently. Halfway through the book he finds a couple folded pieces of paper tucked close to the spine. He doesn't have to open them to know exactly what they are.

It's the character sheets he'd made.

He closes the book back atop them and rolls over to face his ceiling. He wants to call Robin, but the phones are downstairs and he doesn't want to go down there just yet. He also kinda wants to cry. To get rid of all these emotions about Christopher, and Freshman First Day, and Eddie.

Fucking Eddie. Who haunts Steve's thoughts more than he'd like because despite the grudge Steve has been holding, Eddie has been fun to be around and so good with the kids, especially Dustin. Fuck, after having watched Dustin break down when they thought he was dead- but he'd had a pulse. It was weak but it was there.

After Eddie'd been cleared of the charges and the months rolled on into summer, they'd spent lots of time together as a group. Steve will admit he tried to avoid Eddie as best he could (he knows he's petty, okay) but could still see how he blended smoothly into their group.

If this Eddie had been the one he met on Freshman First Day, instead of the dick that mocked him, they might very well be friends now.

That's the crux of it all, Steve thinks. That he wouldn't mind being friends with Eddie if not for that bottled up grudge he'd been holding onto. He can't bring himself to let it go and Steve's not even sure why. Thoughts and feelings aren't something Steve processes quickly, and it usually helps to talk it out with Robin. She lets him stumble through his thoughts, and doesn't mock him for messing up, or mixing up, words.

Goddammit, if he's really going to try talking this out with Eddie, he's going to have be open and honest and maybe a little vulnerable and he doesn't know if he can do that.

But he'll have to. For better or worse, he can't just keep Eddie at arms length. They need to either come to the conclusion that they can be friends, or not, and then go from there. (Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to.)

In the end, Steve's not sure how long he just stares up at the ceiling but a sudden shout breaks him from his trance. It sounded like Dustin. Hellfire must have started.

Steve leaves his room to go lean against the half wall of the hallway, so he could look down to the dining table where everyone has gathered to play. No one notices him, so Steve sinks to the floor and turns, so he can lean against the wall, closes his eyes, and listens in.

The room below is filled with noise. Shouts of excitement, and groans of pain, and sighs of relief. Dustin yells at his dice when it rolls a Nat 1. Mike curses up a storm over a barely missed perception check that makes the party fall into a surprise round. He hears Lucas whoop happily and then what sounds like him taking several victory laps around the table.

He used to be an imaginative kid, able to easily conjure castle, and knights, and dragons in his mind's eye. Listening to Eddie describe a new location, or NPC, or monster makes it easy to bring that part of himself back. Eddie is descriptive and uses so many voices that Steve would be embarrassed to even attempt. But because Eddie is being descriptive, so is everyone else at the table. Erica has adopted an accent of some sort for her character. Dustin and Will go into great detail describing what they want their character to do. The older members of Hellfire do the same, and one of them is using an Irish accent that if he used while talking to Steve, he'd would think it was his first language.

Steve's not sure how long he sat there, long enough that they've taken a snack break and are back at it again, before he decides he might as well watch, too. He gets up and goes downstairs. There's a pause at the table when he wonders in and plops down on the couch. He makes eye contact with Eddie and offers a small half smile. Eddie grins back, and starts back into the game, pulling everyone's focus.

Watching is interesting. He gets to see the Party jab at each other, or lean over and whisper about something. It's nice, to see them being kids. Having fun.

They end around five and Steve is surprised at how quickly five hours had passed.

"So, Steve, how was watching your first DnD game?" Dustin asks, pausing on his way to the door to do so.

Steve considers teasing him, but he goes for honesty instead. "Pretty interesting. It might not be my last time observing. I gotta see you get killed sometime, right?"

"Rude, Steve. Rude," Dustin is grinning though.

"Tell your mom hi for me, and let me know when she's making pork chops again. I'd like to crash that dinner."

Dustin rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he hugs Steve before leaving. Between all the older Hellfire members, they all have rides home that aren't Steve or Eddie.

Speaking of the latter, he's slowly packing things away at the table. Clearly killing time so it won't look like he's intentionally staying after everyone's gone.

Soon, the house is empty again.

"So, I'm not sure... how to start this conversation," Eddie admits to the silence. He's still at the table, standing behind where he was previously sitting, fiddling with a die. "But, I'm sorry. For that day. You were right, you know? When you said I was lashing out at you first."

"Thanks. For the apology," Steve stands from the couch and moves to the table, toying with the tablecloth instead of looking at Eddie. "I, uhh, I'm not sure where to go from here, either? I spent such a long time angry at you. For pointing out all the things I'm bad at in front of everyone there. For making me feel like an idiot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Now Steve looks up at Eddie. "You say that, but like, why? Are you sorry because what you did was shitty, or because you want to be my friend now?"

Eddie blinks, apparently thrown by Steve's question.

"Because, like, you were pretty dismissive of Lucas before Spring Break and he helped save your life. So, it's like, are you okay with being shitty if the people you hurt aren't people you like? 'Cause I used to be that way, and I'm not going to be friends with someone who is."

"Yeah, no, you're right," Eddie nods. "For all that I scream about conformity, and how stupid it is, I've been rather quick to dismiss everyone outside my own... group. I held rather close to that nerds verses jocks crap for too long. Lucas is a jock, but he's also a nerd, and so very loyal to his friends. And you- you're really fucking awesome."

"I am," Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin.

"Ass. But yeah, you're pretty awesome, and I've been feeling all fucked up today because, we could have been friends, couldn't we? In high school. If I'd just let you take the damn flier and kept my mouth shut."

"Hey, that's not all on you," Steve says. "I would have still joined the basketball team, and the swim team. And, like, I was so desperate for any shred of attention from my parents that I would never have picked Hellfire over sports meetups. I could have joined and still ended up a bully by sophomore year."

"Well, I didn't help-"

"I made those choices, Eddie. And it doesn't matter because it's in the past. So, like, we can just move forward. Start over, or whatever."

Eddie looks him up and down before giving one sharp nod, then breaking out into a wide grin, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "Hi. Name's Eddie Munson."

Steve laughs, reaching out to shake Eddie's hand. "Steve Harrington."

"Great, pleasure to meet you. Do you wanna hang out? We can play 20 questions. Get to know each other."

"Sure," Steve chuckles, extracting his hand from Eddie's. "Let me order some pizza first."

First time hanging out with Eddie alone. Guess they'll find out if they can be friends after all.

#steddie #my fic #what's eight plus seven? #just one more part #not fully edited because im at work so apologies for that