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#yes this image looks so simple doesnt it
ms-all-sunday · 3 months
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prince & princess
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Okay so i know this is your askbox and everything but I want to say that i feel like the bosses would start to hate pizzahead after peppino tells them what he was planning on doing, because as far as I know they were simply hired to guard the keys and look out for peppino.
I have some very minor tweaks to this but for the most part i agree!
put under a readmore bc i dont wanna clog up any potentially Non-Exploded pt tags lmao
-Pepperman, the eccentric man that he is gets shown 1 (one) image of a fucked up drawing of peppino and hes like ‘yes yes fat little human man, got it.’ And continues sculpting as if he hadnt heard pizzahead at all. Hes the MOST startled when peppino enters his arena bc he literally forgot he had to fight him 😭 hes like WHO is this little sweaty human in my fucking ART STUDIO????!! and then immediately gets stomped.
He is definitely indifferent to pizzahead; he didnt really care about this weird man and even postgame hes like well. This sly dog led me straight to my muse so I cannot be too angry with him 🤔
-Vigilante is like ‘hmm. Never seen this man round these parts; whatd he do?’ And pizzahead is like if you need a reason; its no longer just a simple request; its a bounty. And Vigilante it like ‘well... A bountys a bounty; if he wanders into my town he aint comin back out’ and pizzahead is like great! Fantastic! Im holding you up to that 🧡
Vigilante is probably the one most angry about pizzahead. Hes not exactly lawful good but he does Not like being used as Hired Muscle. He hunts down Bad People; not a human some weirdo has a personal vendetta against. He doesnt know exactly WHAT that vendetta is but its not worth his time and its not worth getting his cheesy ass handed to by Peppino again 😭
-The Noise craves violence and destruction. Hes a little menace! He also likes money. LOTS of money. And lucky for him, Pizzahead had seemingly Infinite Funds. Funds that he used to hire the Noise; to utilize this brats WEALTH of questionable tools and contraptions in case Peppino climbed his way through the tower. The noise was like ‘ur hosting this shitshow on TV? give me a 40/60 split from whatever ur filming and you have a deal’ and he does NOT find it troubling at all that Pizzahead is so eager to accept this.
He never figures out that the recorded content was never actually hosted anywhere. He eventually tries searching it up, asking his agents to look up anything recent with his face in it but they all come up emptyhanded. When asked about a name or title or scheduled tv slot and publishing, hes a bit sheepish to admit he never asked. Thats not his job! Thats his agents job! Hes so weirded out though; Pizzahead gave him a Ton of money. Obviously not alot by the Noise’s standards but more than what most people could even remotely afford. Weird. Well he got money and Peppino doesnt try to kill him unless he ignores the restraining order placed on him so its okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-Fake peppino cant really comprehend hate. But he does comprehend…distrust. A man comes up to him, gives him a picture of some human, asks him to make sure this human does NOT make it to the top of the tower- ‘nononono. Listen to me. He does NOT make it past you. Do you understand that? I am serious. If you see this man come by your sorry excuse for a shop, kill him. Maim him. Eat him; i dont care WHAT you do as long as he does Not get this fucking key.’
And Fake Peppino just nods. But hes so wary despite his dopey expression. Hes got little goosebumps prickling along the back of his neck as the man hands him the key and a picture of the human. A human that looks like him. JUST like him. In the back alley of his poorly lit pizzeria. Just like him…Hes a bit taller than the man in the picture but…just like him… just like him just like himjustlikehimjustlikehim- ‘Yeah, yeah, just like you, but listen- listen; hes messin' with My business and you gotta understand that, right? You have a business too! Whatever this…*gestures weakly* is. You would be. Sad. If someone destroyed your business. Right?’
A slow nod.
‘Exactly! See? Right on the same page! Thats why im countin on you!’
When Fake Peppino gets to see that Human Peppino has his own Pizzeria; a pizzeria that almost got destroyed (a BUSINESS just like his...) everything seems to click into place at once. Hed probably maul Pizzahead like a chimpanzee 😭 WHAMWHAMWHAM BASH THAT DOUGHY FACE IN !!!!!!! Peppino doesnt need the manpower, but its Nice to have the equivalent of a bulldog guarding his shop
#answered#chattin#long post#peppino#pepperman#vigilante#noise#fake peppino#the noise and fake peppino are kind of still in the air bc i wanna make comics for them and i havent started yet#whereas I already have an idea planned out for vigilante#anyway……….thank u for this#esp for the excuse to write some basic pizzahead interactions#helps me characterize him a bit 🤔#in order from least angry to most pissed off w pizzahead:#pepperman-> noise ->vigilante ->fake peppino#with fake peppino literally having the equivalent of a sleeper agent code or some shit imprinted in his brain now#completely dedicated to go absolutely apeshit the second he even gets a WHIFF of pizzahead in a 250m radius#i will Not draw this bc i simply cannot think of a way to even attempt to panel this#but like during the boss rush instead of the four hits it takes to knock a boss out#fake peppino literally gets hit once and stays the fuck down#hes HURT hes never been hurt before until today and it KEEPS happening and its this weird pizza mans fault!!!#he wants to CRY !!!!!#he doesnt even think of peppino being at fault he just thinks about the man who came to his pizzeria at night#in a shady back alley with a lump sum of cash#and everything went bad after that !!!!!!!!!!#after he gets knocked back behind the rest of the bosses piled up#pizzahead is like um. this is not worth whatever youre going to do to me GOODBYE-#and fake peppino chokeslams pizzahead into Peppino to make him fight instead#hes ANGRY hes wants that fucker DEAD KILL HIM!!!! KILL HIM DEAD !!!!!!!
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caffieneaddictt18 · 6 months
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Moment of Peace
sorceress!reader travels with geralt and ciri as their healer and ciris mother figure as geralts wife. one relaxing day, reader shows ciri a little party trick that geralt doesnt know yet. ends with geralt and reader play fighting about why she didnt show him but showed ciri; and them all acting like a family
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(not my image)
As we finally settle in a meadow, surrounded by forest, I let out a sigh of relief. The feeling of sun against my face and the soft soil beneath me feels amazing.
"Ciri! Y/N! Go collect water. I'll be right back." Geralt commands, but before he can leave to collect wood and sustenance for the night, you stop him and give him a quick kiss.
"Be safe."
"Always am."
Those simple four words are all you need before you walk off into the forest for a few yards, before you come upon a clear water stream. You see Ciri standing in the water and feeling the sun while collecting water. As you join her in the water, she looks up.
"So... why do you allow him to order you around if you're his wife?" Ciri, blunt as ever, asks, not understanding that this is Geralt's way of showing his love.
"He doesn't 'order' me around. It's his way of keeping us safe. I'm a mage and can keep you safe. You're training and can keep me safe. Plus, he goes off and does the dangerous hunting, so we don't have to. It's his way of showing love." I explain his actions and why I react without losing my patience with the way Geralt talks to me.
"Oh. I didn't think about it like that." Ciri ticks her head to the side and continues to collect water.
"Geralt isn't conventional. But he is exactly how I want him. I wouldn't want it any other way." I start towards the bank of the river and continue walking along the greenery of the forest.
As Ciri looked on as you walked, she watched in mystery. The forest seemed to bend to your will. The trees would part to make a path for you and the stones would roll out of the way, leaving only soft soil for you to walk on.
As you both reached your camp site, Geralt was dragging a large deer, and a cloth behind him that was filled. Probably with wood.
You and Ciri both put your jugs down as Geralt drops the sack of wood off near you and walks to the trees to skin the animal for food & it's hide.
You have the sense to build the fire and let Ciri light it later. She's normally sleepy when you build the fire. Makes it easier.
As you both run around, you find a good size patch of daisies.
"Ciri!" You call over the girl, "Come here!"
The blonde girl runs over to see what you're looking at.
"Would you like to learn how to make a daisy chain? You can even put one on Geralt, if you'd like." You throw out the tempting offer to make the Witcher seem silly.
And Ciri quickly agrees. You sit down, careful to avoid the daisies, and show her how to make a daisy chain/flower crown.
As the sun is no longer at its nice, warm heat and enters the baking heat, you take Ciri down to the stream again to clean up. 'The sun will dry us faster' was your reasoning to drag the girl with you.
As you are cleaning your clothes and yourself off, you see Ciri doing the same. Perfect.
"Hey, Ciri! Would you like to see something?"
"Um... What is it?"
"I promise, no harm will come unto you from me. It's just a little party trick."
"Ok..." She waded closer to you as you met her in the middle of the stream.
You magically gathered the sweat and water from Ciri and yourself, throwing it into the air and condensing the clouds around the sun to have more water, allowing the clouds to form a sort of circle around the sun. As the sun continues to shine, the clouds begin turn colors... briefly pink, then a light green, and there's a light blue! (Refer to the picture at the top)
Ciri looks at the sky in awe. "You can do this?" She points to the clouds.
"Yes. When I was at Aretuza, they taught not just politics and magic. They taught basic sciences. This was one of those. I had asked my teacher why there as a rainbow after every rainfall. She explained it to me. Since then, I had been practicing it until I was able to perfect it. Took a couple tries, but it came one day, and it stayed."
"And you never showed me?" A deep, hulking voice inquired from the shadows. Of course, the yellow cat-like eyes gave him away.
"I'm sorry, Geralt. I thought of it as a mere party trick. And it's not like it is helpful when we are off on adventures." I laugh and 'apologize' for not showing my husband sooner.
"You better be sorry!" He charges out of the woods and into the stream, getting both you and Ciri wet again, before lifting you by the waist and carrying you back to base on his shoulder. Everyone was laughing and peace was covering the three of them.
Just a moment of peace.
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Author's Cup of Tea:
I am so sorry the ending was bad. I didn't know what to put for the ending so I winged it. Thank you all so much for your love and support of my work! I love to see everyone enjoying it.
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booburt · 5 months
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Hi, I've been wondering for the photography AU what general time period it's set in, what type of camera(s) does Koby use (it looks like a canon to me but seems to make polaroids, at least that's the surface level observation I can make from my extremely limited knowledge on cameras), what type of photography he personally enjoys and the type he usually does for work (if he does it as his profession too). What does Koby aim to capture with his images, the casual mundane life of an average person, an unreal, etheral sight in a place the average person can't go, Luffy's luffiness, etc? Also what's the general budget Koby has towards camera equipment (doesn't need to be that exact, just a general "he's broke" or "He spends all his money on lenses" would suffice)? My questions are kinda vague here because I'm going to research more about photography later. Thanks in advance :D Oh yeah and also does Koby travel, if not what's the general landscape of his nearby area. You don't need to answer this since I'll probably make it up but it'd be good to know.
okok i wrote this all in the few free periods i got earlier take what you will ^_^
also a doodle i did ages aaaaago with a bit of slightly illegible info in my awful handwriting (sorry)
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actual answer vvv
- its a modern au!! so set like. now!
- koby uses sony cameras primarily but yes he does have a few canons (nikon confuses him)
- he has a seperate polaroid camera!!! he usually prints digitally from sd though
- for type of photography, he started with a passion for ocean and landscape photography, mostly beaches and any scene with water in focus. he also has an interest in portraiture but his love for portraiture only comes to play when he meets luffy. cheese cheese cheeeesyyyy because luffy smiles and hes IMMEDIATELY enamoured. anyway, he starts to study and practice portraiture in depth because of the pretty boy he met in maths class and eventually works up the courage to ask him to model for him. they get super close and eventually start dating; luffy likes how dedicated koby is to his work and how cute he is when he blushes.
-SORDY got carried away with the sappy lovey stuff. koby sells his landscape/wildlife photography at local stores as a side hustle thing haha. but he doesnt really do it professionally, he much prefers to keep it as a hobby / simple income.
- koby aims to capture the beauty of colour! he loves vibrancy when shooting with a softbox or some other source of light he will usually use something to change the hue rather than plain old bw on a simple white bg
- following on he HATES shooting black and white photos unless theyre negatives because idk i think he would think it looks cool. what a guy
- with luffy photography he just likes catching luffys smile or just luffy in general; whipped dud!!! he thinks he is gorgeous
- ahahhhh budget budgettt. lenses are fucking EXPENSIVE!!! he uses a 50mm that helmeppo got him for his birthday one year (rich kid stuff. he knew koby likes photography and searched Best Lense For People Pictures and bought the first one he saw) the 50 is canon as consequence so koby uses canon for loofy pics. he has an 18-55mm he uses as well.
- he is broke yes. koby does have a minimum wage weekend job to pay for living expenses but all in all that boys pockets are empty. luffy is the breadwinner (miss rabbit with the one zillion jobs) he works about 4 different jobs and is happy to pay for anything koby wants despite kobys adamant NOs. like i said he gets helmeppo to pay for a bunch of stuff and helmeppo pays on his dads card LOL.
- koby does travel! mainly by train or boat, not often does he go to an entirely different country but he has previously a few times. when he does go abroad he takes luffy with him!!!! (he looks pretty in the snow. he likes taking pictures of him in snow)
IM SO GLAD SOMEONE LIKES MY AU ENOUGH TO ASK ME THIS MANY QUESTIONS LMAO i had fun answering all of this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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bunnidid-reviews · 2 years
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Possible OSDDID accessible app review?
Antar Chat!
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I have only used it for a day, but I’ve found it to be very helpful in getting through the day
Facts:
What type of app it is: an app for having a chat with parts of yourself, as if on an instant messenger
Compatibility: iphone, ipad, mac, ipod touch, iOS 13.0 or later
Size: 20.3 MB
Internet required: none, works just as well offline
Does it share my data?: no
Lockable: yes, by facial recognition. This can be switched off
Light and dark mode are compatible with the phone’s settings itself, rather than the actual app settings
~
Personal thoughts:
Personal difficulty using(0 being the most easy, 10 being impossible): 1-2
How easy to add your parts: 2 (it can be buggy with the choosing colors)
How easy to switch between parts: 0-1
Personal avoidance level: 2-3(its so easy to use, its confronting af to see parts just talking like that >>;)
Some examples of how I’ve used it so far:
I’ve sorted out different sessions to be used as groupings for parts to safely talk. ‘The Cottage’ is the main chat for all parts to engage in. The ‘playroom’ is for little ones + supporting protector parts. Bunnies and Flowers are for sunsystems, ect.
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A chat example from today:
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As you can see, the different colors on the bottom can be easily named and switched between. Its as easy as choosing a color for the text to be posted as, really.
Initial thoughts: its so easy and shameless to use. The app was clearly made for IFS in mind, and as such comes pre-loaded with a bunch of emotions as personas. (Like talking directly to your shame, hatred, love, ect ect)
Its extremely basic so I consider it versatile, especially for people who might have less defined parts or maybe find it confronting to even address their parts by name.
Theres none of the complicated fuss you get with discord bots(if you have to type and program something in, i consider it inaccessible to me). Theres no data sharing or complicated interface like Simply Plural(i hate that app). Antar is literally like, what color you like right now? Thats your chat bubble now
Pros:
-extremely simple
-non-confronting because anyone with parts of self can use it, dissociated or not.
-you can have several chatrooms
-the interface is simple and non-distracting or hard to find your way around
-doesnt need internet!
- theres a cute little vent room!! The bg is animated and it really looks like your words are swept away in the wind. Looks like this:
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Cons:
- The creator seems to list more features than it has? Or lists them on a way that it looks that way
- Setting ‘personas’ can be a little finicky. I had the worst time trying to get the right colors to set = =; I haven’t tried using images
- theres not really any in-app settings to change
-it can be very easy to accidentally delete sessions/chat rooms so be careful!
-i havent found a way to delete the default personas(all the emotions and whatnot)
-just generally a bit buggy? I hope the person works on it more.
~
Would I recommend this app to someone with OSDDID? Yes! Super easy if you’re looking for a digital way to have internal meetings and discussions. You could probably easily show it to a therapist too, now that I think about it.
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engie-the-profit · 10 months
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worst popular infinite headcanon?
oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha
anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO
i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish
in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite
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(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")
and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now
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(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")
again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others
ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game
the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha
it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon
and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again
idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?
so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain
also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day
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astroyongie · 9 days
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Nanami 6URSE A-Z nsfw analysis PLEASE 🙏
A To Z Analysis: NSFW
Nanami (6URSE VER)
A = Aftercare
to be honest he isnt the best on it because aftercare will depend on the energy he has put on the session. sometimes he is just too tired to move, but he usually talks with you through it
B = Body part 
its equal for you both, but like on him he loves his upper body, his arms in special and his shoulders. he likes he way he is able to flex that. as for his partner its the same! he likes bigger chests but his weak point are slander hands. having those wrapped around him
C = Cum 
he can be nastyyy, but he usually keeps it normal inside the condom. but he might have a thing to realize when you have your fingers wrapped around him
D = Dirty secret 
when you speak and your accent comes out he melts. he loves to hear you speak your original language as well, it kind of turns him on
E = Experience 
Nanami has experience, more than he might want to admit to you. but that's also a good thing for you
F = Favorite position
having your legs over his shoulders is something he appreciates to do everyday. 69 might be one of his favorites too
G = Goofy 
for your surprise, Nanami is goofy inside the bedroom, its like his straight up face changes into something more confortable. he is the type to talk to you during the whole session and height crack a few jokes only to light you up. it might seem out of character, but nanami is actually a lover that cares about your comfort
H = Hair 
he doesnt care at all about hair on his partner, comes as you are when it comes to him. he keeps himself trimmed but nothing crazy
I = Intimacy 
he doesnt need to be in love to sleep with someone, hell he doesnt even need to know them. Nanami adapts to all of the situations
J = Jack off 
he does it often actually. sometimes you might even hear his raspy moans while you both are talking over the phone
K = Kink 
his kinks are simple, like choking, voice play or even oral and toys. he likes things simple yet rough
L = Location
bedroom is the best thing, but Nanami might get turned on by the idea of doing it on a semi public space because it stains his image
M = Motivation 
Nanami is easy to turn on and he hates it. again, he is so weak just by hearing your voice, just by seeing you smile. he is a secret simp
N = No 
he would say no to anything that would hurt you, anything dealing with BDSM is a no no, anything dealing with weird things is also a no. dont be extravangt
O = Oral
he loves itI, he breathes it and he will do oral every day if you ask. Nanami is a pro, his skills are unmatched and he is able to make you release multiple times just with his tongue alone. also he will never say no to a good bj, he loves those just as much (he holds you hair when you do so)
P = Pace
Nanami is a fast yet sensual pacer
Q = Quickie 
He isnt against quickies as long as it really happens bc he cannot hold it in anymore. usually he would prefer the whole thing, but if a quickly is you getting on your knees he is okay with it
R = Risk 
he is willing to take risks, but those are made only after both parties gave consent for such
S = Stamina 
unfortunately, Nanami isnt known of this stamina. he finished retivaly quickly on bed, but worry not, he vouches to finish you up with his mouth every time you didn't got release during the deed
T = Toys 
he loves them and yes he uses them. and you want to know more? he even allows you to use some on him
U = Unfair 
he isnt much of a tease, Nanami doesnt have the patience to go through this
V = Volume 
he is loud, he moans a lot and he is internally very embarrassed about this
W = Wild card 
everytime he gets close to releasing, his hand goes automatically to your throat and he looks deeply into your eyes
X = X-ray 
he is average when it comes to size, but he has a good thickness to it
Y = Yearning 
high sex drive
Z = Zzz 
after the deed, Nanami is ready to get some sleep, or if you prefer you both can engage into deep conversation about life or even gossip together
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metfell · 1 year
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Do you have any advice for drawing with markers? I'm trying to improve and wondering how you do it so well
alright yes i do. okay so markers are all about LAYERS of color. so here's some WIP's of a work i did recently we'll walk through some tips.
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so step one here is the sketch. you'll want to get either a kneaded eraser or just be careful, and lightly erase over the entire image. this picks up loose graphite, and keeps your markers from smearing gray across the entire thing.
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so i lay down a base layer. this isnt actually one marker though, its three. using the lightest marker, block out everywhere youre going to color. use circular motions or a brushtip if you can to avoid streaking like what's in this shot. then, if you have markers of very similar hues, begin darkening the picture where you need to. in this case, it was the ears and side of the nose.
remember: YOU CAN ALWAYS GO DARKER, YOU CANNOT GO LIGHTER.
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i then went in to block in her makeup, the tulip, and darken some of the shadows. you can see specifically in the ears and neck that ive used the smaller tip of my chisel markers to slowly transition it from one marker to another. blending doesnt exist in markers. you just need to IMPLY a gradient. the flower is a good example as well. use multiple markers, and slowly make your way from one half of the gradient to the other.
a lot of what i can do is due to the fact i have so many markers. if you need large marker packs and cannot afford copics, try arrtx. that's what i used for the flower in this.
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when i draw hair- something i know people want to know about a lot- i start with my lightest color, and sketch in the directions the hair is flowing. for stelle here, her bangs swoop down and to the right, so thats the direction i will lay down those colors. its like painting.
also in this, you can see how deep ive made the insides of her ears, and how ive used a dark gray to line her face and give it shape.
this shot is also a good example to show how i fucked up on her earrings, and since i cannot go lighter, theyre going to be tinted gray now. just something i forgot to keep in mind.
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alright theres a lot to talk about in this one. firstly, let's talk about UNDERTONES. to give your piece more depth and life, you can go in with other colors besides your main shading color- in my case, gray- to make the piece pop. ive switched to a light purple, and have added it as a highlight to her cheeks, tips of her ears, and hair. it brings out her hair, and makes it seem fuller. less flat.
a lot of how i use markers is with curved strokes and many colors to sculpt out an image, rather than just filling in the lines. this is why i add line art last.
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okay one step at a time with the finished picture.
first step here is line art. youll notice how i dont harshly outline every single part of the piece. instead, i lightly go around areas i think need defining. i outline her horn cuff, i outline her ears, her eyes, and then i loosely go around her hair with similar strokes to when i sketched it in the first place.
second step is a white gel pen. it can be a simple jelly roller theyre really cheap. just make sure it works. if your pen isnt rolling smoothly, try warming it up in your hands by rubbing it quickly between them. if not, try multiple pens before buying them. bring a piece of paper to your local michaels or hobby lobby or other craft store, and see if it rolls smoothly on YOUR paper. then, go around anywhere that needs a highlight. i did this over her eye markings, her makeup, tiny dots over her earrings, and over her hair to once again round it out.
my final tip is to adjust your pictures in some kind of editor once you are finished. i went in just using the basic iphone settings, and messed around with it until it matched what i wanted the pic to look like. in this case, i turn the highlights to the left, and played around with the temperature and tint settings, and messed around with their basic filters. honestly, just play with it until you think it looks good.
those are my tips for coloring! i hope this is comprehensible!!
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flameofthescorpion · 8 months
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Ramblings of someone way to hyperfixiated on Nevadas "Nowhere" (Headcanons - Apparatus designs applied)
EYESTRAIN WARNING LATER DOWN IN THE POST!
Sooooooooo welcome to me rambling about outside of Nevada because god we dont talk about the Machine alot and it greatly upsets me so imma do it.
Do keep in mind this is all headcanon and applies to my appartus designs, so it may not apply as well to canon
Now the Nowhere, or also called the "Curtain Of Nevada", is what happens if you leave the borders of Nevada, also called the World Borders
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The world border is the main thing keeping the area secluded and together in the world of Nevada, meaning nothing exists outside the borders, HOWEVER, due to this area being quiet big for the Machine to host on one single server, it cut up Nevada into different sections where loading is required, now loading for Nevadeans is simply spacing out for a second and then good is, for the Machine however it is necessary to manage everything on an organized level. The 4 zones would be Nexus City, Somewhere, Nevada Central and due to the Demoniac cult activities both Stygian and the Machine are in unison to have cut the Haunting House into its own seperate loading area to keep the improbability levels at least somewhat contained so it doesnt overflow with the drive active.
If you looked at the image closely you would have noticed some points on the world borders where it says "Enter Zone", Enter Zones are exactly what their name entails. While the world is indeed stable, theres some part of the border where its easier to cross behind "the curtain" than it is on others.
Now what i will have to elaborate on is exactly what i mean in the context of "curtain" Its quiet simple really Nevadeans and mortals in general do NOT see reality as it is, they see a simple illusionary curtain to keep their sanity stable. HOWEVER, the employers are complex enough to see the world for what it really is as they were built by the machine to keep order and to protect its very system which is everywhere and nowhere at the same time
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Reality in actuality consists of corners, chains and platforms, or in the most simple definition i can give it The Machines Skeleton.
However only the employers can IN NORMAL SITUATIONS SEE THIS. Is it possible for Nevadeans to Noclip behind the curtain and see what reality really consists of? Yes but its not nearly as clear as the employers can
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They can still see of course but massively impaired due to the fact they werent SUPPOSED to see this all. And their vision is not the only negative effects theyll take from going behind the curtain, because there is indeed 2 different scenarios:
Scenario 1: The Employers acting as the Machines security system would most likely notice this new arrival, and Auditor, being the first to usually take care of this issue, would rip them to utter shreds as now this Nevadean would pose a threat to the system due to having directly interacted with it.
Scenario 2: They are lucky enough to notice this isnt good and noclip back before any of the employers get alerted of their arrival. Even in this case they arent truely off the Hook as they either A. go insane from what their mind has just witnessed B. If enough mental collection is present, turn into a disquieted.
Some beings such as The S-3lf Eater however will not be affected by this as it was deliberatly built to suck energy off the Machine, due to this the Employers cant detect it as a threat either, essentially, its a parasite. (that was what the comic yesterday was about BTW)
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Reality overall is a topic that not many talk about because only few know of the Machine as a concept, mostly only Dr Gonne, who abused this knowledge, 2BDamned who also abused said knowledge however in favour of the Maker and the Cyberbandits who have a way stronger connection to the Machine as it is "the serverhost".
Is a connection of the Machine, aka the server, ever SEVERED with a Nevadean it would have devestating effects on the Nevadean. The second the connection to "The Server" is gone, the Nevadean will IMMIDIANTLY loose most of their recollection and personality as the machine is the one storing the data of such. In most cases one of the younger employers, either Conductor or Auditor help to re-connect this individual with the Machine....or well if not i think we all know what they would do.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk im so sorry if none of this made sense im very passionate about my favourrite Higher Power, love the metal crab-
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maschotch · 2 years
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You (justifiably) talk a lot about the team having skewed perceptions of Hotch. Do you think he has any of them?
a fascinating question.. i love this
the simple answer is “yes.” its impossible to have a completely accurate image of someone else, especially if you have a relationship that will automatically alter your perspective of them. he could be the best profiler in the world and still be oblivious to the feelings of those around him
the complicated answer is still “yes” but w a little more nuance. bc i think he considers having a handle on his team’s mental wellbeing an important part of being a leader. the others are bound (to varying extent) by the interteam profiling rule. the expectation is to respect each others privacy, and anything that leads them to pry anyway is either curiosity or concern. hotch doesnt really feel like that applies to him—or at least doesnt hold as high of a priority as maintaining team stability. he’s a hypocrite in that regard, especially bc he hates when they pry into HIS emotional state
he holds himself at arms length from the rest of the team, partly out of self hatred, partly to give him a better understanding of the team’s dynamics. and i think it works to a large degree. i think, overall, he has a much clearer understanding of the others than any other member (other than maybe emily, who holds herself at a greater distance, or gideon if he actually fucking tried). but his self hatred is probably what distorts his perspective the most: he doesnt consciously register his own significance in their lives. for many of them, he’s important in ways other than being unit chief. now he’s not an idiot. he knows they care. its kinda obvious, especially w morgan, reid, and garcia, who all cant help but be transparent w their love. i just dont think he ever allows himself to consider how much.
it may just be easiest to go down the line… hotch’s understanding of morgan is probably the most complicated bc of how long they’ve known each other and bc morgan cares so much ab him—beyond what hotch could believe. so i think hotch knows morgan better than the others in many ways, but there’s a blind spot. a lot of morgan’s conflicts are ab caring too much, so hotch’s willful ignorance in that regard means he doesnt have the best handle on how to navigate their relationship. he doesnt realize how important he is to morgan, and how any little comment can make or break his day. i think it gets easier throughout the seasons as morgan’s feelings become harder to ignore, but particularly in the beginning of season 3 when hotch is about to leave the bau… i genuinely dont think he realizes why morgan is so upset ab it.
with emily i think its the exact opposite. they reach a point of understanding between the two of them ab how much they care about the team, and that was enough for both of them. as long as they know they care ab the team, there’s no need to look any further or get into specifics. hotch doesnt need to think ab their relationship on an individual level bc they both know that, in the end, it doesnt matter as much. knowing that they’d both give anything for the team is enough to earn their complete trust in each other. they’re both private people with parts of their lives they’d like to remain hidden. he doesnt need to concern himself with her past as long as he knows where she stands now (which comes to bite them both in the ass later). so he doesnt have the most well rounded view of her, but he has the clearest understanding of her. if he tried, then i think he’s capable of perceiving more ab her than she’d feel comfortable with, but he’s not going to push her boundaries uncovering a past thats not even relevant
i think the two hotch understands the best are spencer and penelope, which is funny bc if you asked them they’d probably say no one understands them—especially hotch. it helps that they tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but even then, the others have this preconceived notions ab the two of them that skew the way they look at them. but where the rest may see “quirks”, he understands them for who they are. he knows they think in different ways, he knows they have a comfort zone, he knows they have value, but most importantly, he knows they have a hard time dealing w their emotions. hotch is similar, which i think helps a lot, and i think he’s the most capable of reading their mental states and knowing if something is wrong. he may not be equipped to actually help them in a way he’d be satisfied with, but he’s at least aware, which is more than some of the others. (hotch is understanding, not helpful. morgan doesnt understand, but he helps the most. emily is split down the middle) i think thats his greatest failing w them: he doesnt realize how helpful he could actually be. he doesnt realize how meaningful it is for someone to understand them the way he does. he doesnt realize (or doesnt want to realize) just how much they look up to him
in a lot of ways i think hotch knows more ab jj than she knows about herself. she hates to be vulnerable, so he doesn’t acknowledge it often (and it’s when she needs it most that she’s most resistant to it), but i think he sees a lot of himself in her and doesnt want her to make the same mistakes. out of the rest of the team, he’s the least fooled by jj’s confident exterior. which i think she’d normally be disturbed by, but he understands her strengths just as much as her weaknesses, so its easier for her to just not think about it and pretend he’s no different from the rest. she also has no particular attachment to him beyond the normal subordinate-superior dynamic, so there’s nothing for him to shy away from.
he probably has the most well-rounded view of rossi and gideon, if only because of how long they’ve spent together. he knew them before they hardened their shells, he knew them before they’d perfected the art of concealing their true feelings. they both come off as aloof and uncaring at times, but they care in their own ways. its difficult for the others to see or even believe, but hotch just.. knows them. it definitely helps that he knew them while he was maturing as a profiler, meaning he probably spent a lot of time studying them (consciously or not). he might’ve been more hesitant otherwise, but he was testing his abilities as he was figuring out how to act, how to best communicate with them. actually what probably helped the most was that gideon and rossi didnt give a shit about him in the beginning. i mean they cared to an extent, but they’re both kinda self centered and had a lot to work through themselves without bothering to really concern themselves with others. so im not sure hotch has made the mental adjustment by the time the show starts to realize how important he’s become to them. he’d never consider himself to be their surrogate son. partly bc he’d never think that anyway, and partly bc he knew them for decades before they reached that conclusion themselves
hotch is a good profiler. he’s perceptive, observant, and thoughtful. his biggest challenge when deciphering others isnt getting in their heads or understanding their perspective: its coming to terms with the fact that they dont hate him as much as he hates himself. they dont see the flaws he knows he has. when morgan questions him, its not out of doubt but out of concern. when emily backs him up, its not bc she thinks hes weak, its bc she cares ab him. when he makes spencer or penelope cry, its not bc he’s scary or a bad person, it’s bc what he says matters to them more than anything. his skewed perspective of himself is what causes the biggest misunderstandings.
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kitwallace · 1 year
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An aperiodic tiling discovery
Much excitement last week with the publication by David Smith, Joseph Myers, Craig Kaplan and Chaim Goodman-Strauss of their discovery of a single tile which tiles aperiodically. Not only that but it does not need any supplementary rules, as Penrose's dart/kite pair do, to ensure aperiodicity. Christian Lawson-Perfect wrote about the story in aPeriodical. Later: There is now an excellent online talk by Craig and Chaim on the discovery and its proof hosted by the National Museum of Mathematics in New York.
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The shape was discovered by David Smith, a hobbyist geometer. There is a wealth of research in David's blog, which starts with the declaration "I am not a mathematician but I do like shapes, interesting symmetry, polyhedra, tessellations and geometric patterns. " Skimming though it, one can see the deep exporation of shapes which makes his discovery seem almost inevitable. I plan to read more of his blog for inspiration. Well done ye, David!
The mathematical work of proving that the tile is aperiodic is a masterful exercise, clearly explained. A truly inspiring collaboration between a tinkerer, acedemic mathematicians and computer scientists.
OpenSCAD
Naturally I had a look at this with my OpenSCAD tiling tools.
tl:dr: A customizer on Thingiverse.allows both kinds of tiles in normal or mirror forms and all intermediate tiles to be printed or laser-cut.
I began by defining the perimeter as a sequence of sides each defined by side length and interior angle taken from the diagram, where we see up of 16 right triangular segments ( 8 kites) of adjacent hexagons. In this formulation, r is the long side of the triangle, a and b the other sides.
function hat_peri(r) = // r is the radius of the base hexagon // returns perimeter as a sequence of [side length,internal angle]    let (a = r * sin(60), b = r*cos(60) )    [[b,180],[b,120],[b,270],[a,120],[a,90],[b,120],[b,270],[a,120],     [a,90],[b,240],[b,90],[a,240],[a,90],[b,120]];
The first two sides form a straight line but for the purposes of tiling are distinct edges.
The perimeter is converted to a sequence of points using turtle-like geometry:
function peri_to_points(peri,pos=[0,0],dir=0,i=0) =     i == len(peri)       ? [pos]       : let(side = peri[i])         let (distance = side[0])         let (newpos = pos + distance* [cos(dir), sin(dir)])         let (angle = side[1])         let (newdir = dir + (180 - angle))         concat([pos],peri_to_points(peri,newpos,newdir,i+1))      ;
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Tiling with this shape requires the use of the mirror image of the base tile:
function reverse(l) = [for (i=[1:len(l)]) l[len(l)-i]];
function mirror_peri(q) = let(p=reverse(q)) [for (i=[0:len(p)-1]) [p[ (i - 1 + len(p) ) %len(p)].x,p[i].y] ];
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[This is a bit of a pity. Penrose's tiles are symmetric so the question doesnt arise but the search continues for a monotiling which does not require the use of reflections.]
My library of OpenSCAD functions supports the creation of tilings by defining a sequence of edge-to-edge placements. ATM this list is created manually. Each line specifies the alignment of one of the base tiles and edge to a tile and edge in the assembly.
hat_assembly_6 = [ [[0,0]] ,[[0,0],[0,1]] ,[[0,5],[0,2]] ,[[0,3],[0,4]] ,[[0,13],[0,6]] ,[[1,1],[0,9]] ,[[0,7],[0,12]] ];
module hat_tile_6(d) { p = hat_peri (10,d); t=peri_to_points(p); m=peri_to_points(mirror(p)); unit=group_tiles([t,m],hat_assembly_6); fill_tiles(unit,["red","green","blue","yellow","pink","black","coral"]); }
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Parametric tiles
More amazingly still, this tile turns out to be one of a family of aperiodic tiles, which in the limit are simple periodic tiles. They are beautifully animated here. The parametric perimeter description enables all members of this family to be constructed:
function hat_peri_family(r,d) = // r is the radius of the base hexagon
// d is the angle which varies from 0 to 90 // returns perimeter as a sequence of [side,internal angle] let (a = r * sin(d), b = r * cos(d) ) [[b,180],[b,120],[b,270],[a,120],[a,90],[b,120],[b,270],[a,120], [a,90],[b,240],[b,90],[a,240],[a,90],[b,120]]);
At the limits , the tiles tesselate:
d=0 (nicknamed the comet)
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d=45
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d=90 (nicknamed the chevron)
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All the tiles inbetween are aperiodic:
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The Turtle
David also discovered a second tile he called the turtle. Defined as a perimeter, this also has 14 sides and is a family of tiles:
function turtle_peri(r,d) = // r is the radius of the base hexagon // returns perimeter as a sequence of [side,internal angle] let (a = r * sin(d), b = r * cos(d) ) [[a,240],[a,90],[b,240],[b,90],[a,120],[a,180],[a,120],[a,270],[b,120],[b,90],[a,120],[a,270],[b,120],[b,90]];
d=60
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The periodic endpoints d=0 and d=90 are the same as for the hat.
This is a small section of a tiling in David's blog:
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No mirroed tiles in this example.
turtle_assembly_6 = [ [[0,0]] ,[[0,12],[0,13]] ,[[0,13],[0,2]] ,[[0,5],[0,6]] ,[[0,4],[0,7]] ,[[0,5],[0,10]] ,[[0,10],[0,11]] ];
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To do
I'd like to add a couple of the suggested decorations.
A big task is to automate the tile placement to construct an assembly. Craig's software does this so I dont expect it to be easy! The approach I'd like to explore (perhaps it's the obvious appraoch?) is to start with the perimeter description of the base tile and extend this as each tile is added. The next tile can be placed by matching a subsequence of the tile perimeter to a subsequence of the expanding perimeter. Bit complicated to ensure that such a match will result in a fit especially with concave shapes.
Further
Veritasium has a nice youtube on the background to aperiodic tiling
Jaap Scherphuis created the PolyForm Puzzle software which was used by David in his explorations.
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lukarion-ven · 10 months
Note
Hellooo! I just wanna say that your art makes me smile so much!! And i love your content with venti x oc TvT. If its too much trouble would you be willing to give some tips on drawing and how you do color for an aspiring artist. I cant wait to see more of your works!!
thank you so much, im glad my works that i do for fun make you smile! especially my venlune works, which i didnt expect would get attention ;w;
i dont consider myself a very skilled artist yet, and im also not an art student, but im willing to give some (personal) tips i learned along the journey i went through in making art!
(assuming anon means art in general not comics)
1. (this is obvious but some actually dont do this, ok tbh even i dont because im lazy lol) watch tutorials from the internet, like youtube. there are a lot of videos available there from pro artists!
2. practice anatomy first, or linearting. you can start learning more about rendering later. if you want to focus more on making pretty but simple art, then you should study how to draw anatomy decently first, then you can just use some flat colors if youre not confident yet or still practicing your rendering! because from what i observed from my past artworks, detailed rendering doesnt do much if the anatomy and lineart aren't done well TT (anatomy doesnt have to be accurate by the way, as long as it looks aesthetically pleasing to the eyes youre good! imo at least)
3. steal some processes from other artists, then mix it with your own. it helps in experimenting and building your own style that you find comfortable to do! but you dont really have to find a specific style, you can draw inconsistently, if that's what makes you enjoy art! dont pressure yourself in finding a style, take your time! it even took me almost a decade to find mine (yes i just found a style im satisfied with recently that i can actually make consistently TT)
4. for rendering, im not confident in giving tips regarding it yet, because im still struggling with lighting and such. but im willing to share my process next time with images! just ask again if youre interested ^^
5. the most important part, have fun with the process! this sounds cliche, but to me this is what my goal is currently. i used to enjoy making them so much when i started, so im doing my best to feel happy with the process again, not only focusing on the result! also i believe in [happy process = good result] hehe
my bad im not good with words and im currently sick so i hope what i said is still understandable >w<;;
goodluck with your art journey, anon! <3
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HOW ARE YOU DOING/WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
[^PRETEND IT'S SPARKLY AND FUN BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE COOL THINGS]
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below the cut ~~
So the sparkle things are gifs, which means we need to
1.) make the frames and
2.) turn the frames into a gif
Step 1: Making the frames
I use ibispaint bc its free and has great versatility, it doesnt matter what photo editing app you use it will just change how you add the glitter. To keep this super simple im just going to show you how to glitter
In ibispaint, open whatever size canvas you want/open the image youre glittering. Choose the text tool and add your chosen text
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On the bottom row here ^^ you can see a little button with a number two, its where you can open the layer/canvas menu. Click that
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Click the "+" on the left hand side, click clipping, and click the dropdown that says "normal" and choose "add" (this is the blending mode). Your screen should now look the same as above.
in the menu on the righthand side (the "tools" menu), click the fx filter icon
Scroll to "artistic"
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Fix the settings until they look like the ones above
Type: color
Strength: 75
Amount: 25
And blending mode normal
Click the green check
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Now go to the adjust color section and click "exact line drawing" and match it to the settings above
Black: 0
White: 100
And middle: 55
Click the check
The layer is now going to be black rather than the colors it was before, that means youre on the right track
Click the x to leave the filter menu, go back to the layers/canvas menu
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Click this little flippy button, "invert layer color" now you should have a glitter layer!! This glitter layer is going to be part of one of our frames
Now repeat the steps of making a new layer, clipping it and changing the blending mode, adding the filters, and inverting the layer color 1-2 more times to have two or three glitter layers (yes theyll be stacked on one another but that is okay for now)
Saving the frames to make a gif:
Now we have several layer, descending they should be:
2-3 glitter layers
A text layer
(And an empty base layer, just ignore it lols its just chillin, u can delete it if you want it doesnt matter)
All these layers have eye images on them. If the eye is dark the layer is visible. If its not its invisible. We are going to save every glitter layer over the text layer individually to get the frames for our gif
The text layer needs to be visible at all times during these next steps.
Turn off the visibility of all the glitter layers except the bottom one (by clicking the eye icon on the layer)
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Only one should be visible while we're saving the frames
There is an arrow on the bottom bar all the way at the right
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Saving as transparent png makes the background see through like the gif above, save as png makes the background white. Pick whichever, but choose the same one for all of them (if you choose transparent choose transparent for all frames)
Go back to the layer canvas menu, make the glitter layer that is currently visible invisible. Click the eye on the layer above that one to make it visible (the second glitter layer)
Repeat the saving process. If you have a third glitter frame, make glitter frame 2 invisible, glitter layer 3 visible, and save.
Part 2: making the gif itself
go to ezgif dot com. ezgif dot com is the best simple gif maker. ezgif dot com is now your best friend. hashtag not sponsored
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Click gif maker
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Click "choose files", "photo library", add the glitter frames you made and click add or choose whatever is at the top idr
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(I wound up using 3 frames not 2) where it says delay under each gif, delete the "20" and add 12 to one and 13 to the rest (the delay is how much time each frame will take in the gif, using one number thats different keeps tumblr from screwing up and accidentally converting them into videos. Idk why that happens but sometimes it does.)
Ignore all the rest of the settings, you dont need to mess with them just for lil glitter gifs and click the create button at the bottom
Now you can either click download when your gif pops up or you can long press to save it directly to your camera roll
Extra notes:
If you want your glitters to be rainbow, skip the "exact line drawing" and "invert layer color" steps
Ezgif isnt good for high quality gifs. For the gifs on my website i make the frames in ibispaint and use photopea (a free online photoshop) to make the gifs themselves. But thats more difficult to do as you cant really use photopea on mobile without a mouse and its much more complicated (so thats a separate tutorial if you ever need high quality gifs)
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leasboyfriend · 1 year
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Maroon, Yellow, Emerald, Indigo, and Pink for Axel! - ⏳️🤍🖤
@hearts-and-stars yesssss thank!
🔴/Maroon: Tell us about the perfect date night scenario with your f/o!
already answered so im slightly changing the question to just describe a date
he took me on my first ever visit to halloween town! bc he knows i like spooky shit and had never been there before 😅 world magic made us both look delightfully creepy and we had a good time just wandering around (it was pretty close to halloween so most of the inhabitants there were busy oops)
💛/Yellow: Imagine a fantasy au with you and your f/o! What roles would the two of you take? How would the story end?
ok so originally I was going to say beauty and the beast but it doesnt quite work out, but then i thought hades and persephone and oooo yes i want that one. axel as hades and me as persephone and obviously we're in love by the end
🟢/Emerald: Are either you or your f/o a good cook? Or is the kitchen being declared a disaster zone and you ordered out?
i can bake lmao. i can cook with a recipe, but i dont rly enjoy it. Axel can cook simple stuff, but that's about it. we won't burn the kitchen down, but we're ordering takeout pretty often 😅
🔵/Indigo: Do you have a favorite image/gif/video of your f/o? Show us!
flamey bf go brrr :)
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💗/Pink:
Show us the emoji(s) you associate with your f/o! (Bonus: Tell us why?)
already answered so ur getting emojis he associates with me :)
💚🌌💃🪴
green heart and space emoji are hopefully obvious
dancer bc he says watching me fight is more like watching someone dance (i took years of ballroom i cant help it 😅)
plant got added bc he saw my "garden" (the floor to ceiling wall of various plants from various worlds)
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funshinebf · 3 months
Text
gender moment venting below idk its kind of long and messy but i was just stream of thoughting about this shit
ive been wondering a bit lately about if i would want to go back on T again in the future. im trying not to worry about crossing that bridge til i get to it, but its just. idk. i sort of feel like if i decide that going back on it isnt right for me, that ive somehow... failed? like. i do not regret going on it! im very happy with my voice deepening, as well as my body hair growth. but i also really struggled with keeping up on my shots, the appointments and bloodwork, as well as the acne and patchy facial hair and how they affected my body image and self esteem. while on one hand, i would Love to have facial hair, i had a really hard time with the awkward phase of it growing in, and i just felt... really, really shitty about my appearence while i was dealing with it. if i could go back on it and instantly have fully formed facial hair and clear skin, i might consider it, but... since thats not possible, i think i'd rather just keep the changes i already got and continue to be off of it.
and like, i know that every trans persons needs and wants in their transition are different, and its okay to not want certain changes, it doesnt make someone less trans. but it just feels like, with how long i was fighting for it, and how desperately i assured everyone around me that it would be good for me... it feels like by stopping it ive just proven them all right. and thats really frustrating for me! because like i said, i dont REGRET doing it, i dont want to get rid of what i did get from it! i just. couldnt handle some of the other effects.
i also feel almost like. it isnt fair to other trans people i know who arent able to start hormones? like, oh, i got on them super easily and now i dont even want them, when other people are still struggling so much and would love to be in my shoes. its so disheartening.
and idk. i know that my reservations about this are most likely just internalized transphobia, but its still.. very upsetting. i dont want anyone to think of me as less of a man, or less valid because of my hesitance to go back on T. and like, i still very much want top surgery, and i have no doubts about my pronouns and expression of my identity. i know who i am, i know what makes me happy, and i know what makes me unhappy! i just wish i didnt have to deal with any of this, pressure i guess? to conform to something that lines up more with a cis persons view of how trans people should be. i dont want to pass as a cis man. i dont think i ever will. i wish how i look didnt affect how people saw my gender, i want to be called 'sir' or 'young man' even when im wearing a full face of makeup and a dress. even when i have long hair and painted nails, even when i walk a certain way or have certain mannerisms or talk a certain way. i dont want any of that to automatically make people assume im a woman, or even use neutral pronouns for me. i just hate having to explain over and over again, that yes i ONLY use he/him, even when i look super feminine or use feminine terms for myself. if i ask someone else not to use feminine terms for me, why is that so hard for some people to understand? it isnt the same as me using it for myself. when i use it for myself its because i know exactly how i mean it and how i view myself when using it. i dont know those things when other people use it. only a select few people that i know for sure view me the way i am are allowed to refer to me that way. this shouldnt be so difficuly to wrap your head around. i know my own intent. i dont know yours. its that fucking simple!
urghhhh, this got a little more ramble-y than i meant it to. whatever. gender beam
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cantdanceflynn · 1 year
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Alice has gods in her control!? What do they look like?
UHHHHHHH WELL DEPENDING ON THE TIME PERIOD SHE TECHNICALLY HAS SOME LEVEL OF CONTROL OVER ALL THE GODS IN THE MAIN AU I USE HER FORE(THE DEITY AU), BUT MOSTLY CANDACE AND MYSTERY, CANDACE BASICALLY. JUST. LOOKING LIKE HER CANON SELF. MYSTERY HAS SOME SLIGHT DESIGN CHANGES, HES THE GUY WITH THE SKI MASK IN THE ANIMATIC I SENT YOU IF IT WASNT CLEAR.
CANDACE IS TECHNICALLY A FIRE GODDESS, WITH HER CAPABILITIES RANGING FROM "WHOOPS MY SKIN IS UNATURALLY WARM" TO "CAPABLE OF PYROCLASTIC WAVES ON A WHIM IF SUFFICIENT POWER IS BUILT UP/ SHES EMOTIONAL ENOUGH ABOUT IT". HER VAMYRISM IS ALSO TERRIFYING AND MEANS SHE CAN FUCKING FLY AND HAS TWO!!!! TWO(2) VERY EASY TO TRIGGER STATES OF BEING WHERE ALICE HAS COMPLETELY CONDITIONED HER TO OBEY NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE FOR THE IDEA OF BEING "PURE"
AND MYSTERY IS TECHNICALLY AN IDENTITY AND MIND BASED GOD? LIKE, HOW DIFFERENT RELIGIONS HAVE GODS THAT WERE BORN FROM OR USUALLY REGARD DIFFERENT BODY PARTS OR CAPABILITIES? IDK I COULD GIVE YOU A WHOLE TEN INFODUMPS ON THE INTRICACIES OF THE MADEUP RELIGION WE'VE GOT FOR THIS AU. BUT BASICALLY, WHILE HE DOESNT REALLY GET THE FULL EXTENT OF HIS POWERS UNDER ALICES CONTROL, ITS SAFE TO SAY IT RANGES BETWEEN "MADE A PRETTY PROJECTION OF A MENTAL IMAGE OR A TELESCOPE OR SOMETHING" TO "COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR MIND, YOUR CAPABILITIES AND YOUR BODY, ALL USUALLY AT THE WHIMS OF ALICE, WHO WOULD EITHER USE YOU TO DESTROY YOUR FRIENDS OR BASICALLY DO THE BIPPER THING OF "WOW, YOURE JUST SO "HUMAN"? TIME TO MAKE YOU A MONSTER :DDD BUT IN LIKE A FUNNY WAY 50% OF THE TIME". YES THIS INCLUDES ANY OF THE OTHER GODS. SO. TECHNICALLY ON PAPER SHE COULD CONTROL ALL OF THEM. NOT REALLY THAT SIMPLE IN PRACTICE OBVIOUSLY BUT. SHE COULD
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