#yes I did write this all in one sitting on a school night until 11pm.

[10itemsorwes]

No one is gonna see this BUT

I wanna talk about my OCs. Just OCs, not fandom specific. My own world, my own characters, ye. And what better place to do it than Tumblr!!

Ok so. This is absolutely going to have inaccurate assumptions about Christianity (bc I haven't been Christian since I was like 12-) and also my own idea of Angels and Demons and God. Especially God.

So this is like. A really fast entire telling of my OCs Judas Rosé, Terrisian (Tarrish) and Fermisiel (Fern). Let's go!

So, let's talk about Judas.

Judas is the only human. He has undiagnosed Autism and his special interest is the bible. He grew up in a really really small town in Kansas called Amadan (not a real place-) which is a Christian-centric town. He doesn't know it, but when God first started humanity, she decided that humans were interesting and wanted to talk to people without their eyes burning out of their faces and their heads exploding, so she made a few humans with the ability to hear/talk to her without death. She planned out every human since the first one and called them high priests (so creative, I know). Unfortunately, a few thousand years later, she decided she wanted to be left alone for a while, so she took her top angels and disappeared into her own little pocket dimension where she could watch from afar and stopped talking to humans. And she forgot to undo the fact that every high priest gets assigned a guardian angel at 20-30. More on that later.

Judas studied to become a priest and applied to Amadan Baptist Church. He, of course, got the job. He had been volunteering there since he was 14 and attending since he was born, basically. Unfortunately, because he was 25 and every other priest or reverend was mid 60s to 80s, they didn't really take him seriously. They gave him the title of priest, but he was basically a glorified altar boy. He didn't mind, though. When he was about 32, he was being treated the same way. One day, while he was doing his usual job, someone he didn't recognize asked to speak with him privately. Judas walked with them to his a back hall and they revealed themself as an Angel. Fermisiel, a guardian angel.

Let's talk about Fermisiel.

(This is a bad photo but it works)

Fern has always been a little awkward. He was supposed to be a guardian angel, but he wasn't a very good one. His first assignment, he only lasted a week. Why? Well, because he killed the one he was supposed to protect. Woopsies. When he got back to heaven afterwards, the Powers (higher ranked angels who took control after God disappeared) lined up a very harsh punishment. To take out his eyes on his vessel. Not super bad, he could still see. But now he has zero depth perception and grace (basically his lifeforce. Yes I stole that from supernatural) just constantly fell down his face like he was crying. He wasn't given another assignment after that until Judas, who wasn't that important anymore but still required a guardian angel. Judas freaked the fuck out and was in heavy denial for a moment. He was fine after the first few days. But on the first day of Fern being just... in his house, he decided he hated that Fern was trying to watch him sleep, so he told him to wait on the couch or go on a walk or something. And Fern decided to go on a walk. It had been a while since he had seen the earth, after all. On his walk, though, he ran into a demon. An Incubus.

Let's talk about Terrisian.

(Ignore that I can't draw hands)

Terrisian is an incubus. He was sent to Amadan to sleep around, fill a quota, the works! When he ran into Fern, he didn't realize he was an angel at first because Fern was in a more human looking form. He tried to flirt and stuff, but Fern was like "um absolutely fucking not" and threatened his life and fully almost killed him.

Until he realized that Tarrish was just. Not scared. At all.

In fact, Tarrish was flirting with him even more. Fern, being confused, just kind of paused and questioned him. Tarrish had a conversation with him about it. They ended up talking until the morning. And Tarrish promised to find and talk to him again.

Fern made a friend.

Let's talk about sexuality.

Judas was heavily in denial that he was Bisexual. He didn't have anything against the LGBTQ, he was just. Not about that for himself.

Tarrish was pansexual. Emphasis on the sexual. He had a body count that included James Madison and George Bush. And he was very proud. Very.

Fern had never had romantic or sexual feelings. That wasn't part of his job, he didn't care.

When Tarrish met Fern, he wanted to have sex with him. He was very up front about it. That's what he wanted. After all, what demon had ever slept with an angel before? So he was willing to play the long game. Get the angel nice and comfy and slowly coax him into having sex. Easy enough! In the meantime, he had other people to fuck, too.

Why not start at the local church?

He found interest in Judas pretty quickly. So Tarrish approached him after church one day and managed to convince Judas to let him suck him off. Easy enough!

Unfortunately, Fern found out.

Fern was, of course, pissed the fuck off. So he berated Tarrish and told him to never do it again. Tarrish saw an opportunity and, in the midst of Fern's anger, talked him out of his clothes and they... did a lot more than talking.

Fern got back to Judas' house late that morning, avoiding eye contact.

And, of course, Tarrish did not stop visiting Judas at work. Or having midnight "discussions" with Fern.

And then, at some point, Fern asked Tarrish why he kept coming back to him. After the first time, he just assumed he would disappear and not care about Fern anymore.

Tarrish realized, in fact, that he felt a lot closer to Fern than others he had slept with. All those late night conversations, the sneaking around, the stupid jokes. Oh, god, they added up. Tarrish realized he kept coming back because he loved Fern. And when he said it, Fern said it back.

Tarrish stopped visiting Judas at work. Instead, he started showing up to his house. Like, out of nowhere. He'd just pop up, chatting or heavily making out with Fern. So Judas asked what the fuck that was about. They told him they loved eachother and bla bla bla. Judas didn't really mind, but he asked if they knew that love was more than just... sex. Because they were having a lot of sex.

Let's talk about romance.

Tarrish didn't, in fact, know that. Fern did, but he couldn't name any more detail than that. Judas decided to help them out. He didn't mind. He helped them introduce love language, healthy discussion, and much more into their relationship. Tarrish didn't get it much, but he liked the fun little activities. Fern thought it was nice to do something more personal than sex now.

Judas watched them grow and love each other more and more.

And he was slowly more and more aware of how single he himself was.

He watched Tarrish snuggle up to Fern and playfully insult him. He watched Fern kiss Tarrish's cheek and tell him to shut his mouth. He watched Fern bring Tarrish bird feathers as gifts. He watched Tarrish bring Fern cool pebbles.

I made that, he would think to himself. And he felt so good about it, that he was able to help their relationship progress. And he felt bad that he wasn't apart of it. He hated that he felt like it, but he did. And he felt awful. Awful, awful, awful.

Tarrish and Fern, meanwhile, had talked a bit a few months into the relationship. They talked about how nice Judas was to help them. They talked about how much they loved his advice and help.

They talked about how they loved him.

They realized that's what they were talking about.

Oh.

Interesting.

The next day, Fern asked Judas why he was so willing to help them with that. Judas said he didn't want to say. It was embarrassing, it was stupid, every excuse in the book. Fern pried it out of him. Judas said he didn't realize it at first, but he liked Fern. He made him feel safe and warm. Then when he saw Terrisian again, when he watched him become capable of connection more emotional than sex, he started liking him, too.

Let's talk about God.

God doesn't have a plan. She has entertainment. She doesn't intervene unless she wants to make it more interesting. At this point, Fern was supposed to get upset. Act like he was alright, but go and accidentally exaggerate to Tarrish that Judas was trying to break them up because he liked both of them. Tarrish was supposed to get upset at this and kill Judas for it. Fern, then, was supposed to do his job and kill Tarrish for killing Judas.

This didn't happen.

That's when God took notice and started paying closer attention.

Fern, instead, went to Tarrish and told him how it was. He said Judas was feeling bad because he liked the both of them. Tarrish thought about it and they decided together to bring Judas into the relationship. To make a polycule together. They loved eachother, all three of them. Why not just welcome Judas in, too? They did love him, after all.

Let's talk about miscommunication.

Tarrish and Fern decided to form a polycule between the three of them. Judas noticed Fern and Tarrish suddenly talking to him a lot more. Fern started leaving feathers on his bedside table. Tarrish started to offer to sleep with him again.

Fern and Tarrish didn't tell Judas they were both dating him now.

Judas was very confused at the sudden affection.

Judas let it go on for about a week, very confused but not questioning it. He assumed it was a very abstract thank you. Whatever, he could tell them to stop later.

It wasn't until Judas woke up between Fern and Tarrish snuggling him that he questioned it. He asked them later that day, very confused. They were just as confused. They asked him why they couldn't show him affection? They showed each other affection. That's how you treat someone you love.

Judas was very confused.

"Let's talk about this." Judas offered, leading them both to his living room. They all sat together, just a moment of silence.

"Why are you both being so... different? You're acting as if you're both suddenly dating me, too."

"Well, we are dating." Tarrish piped up, grinning at him. Fern nodded in agreement.

"What? Since when?" Judas asked, straightening up a bit.

"Last monday. About 11:48 pm." Fern responded calmly, tilting his head. "Why are you confused?"

"Wha- you didn't tell me! Also, who says I would agree to be in a relationship with both of you?!" Judas asks, looking between them. Tarrish's tail flicked impatiently.

"Why wouldn't you? You love both of us, don't you? That's what you told Fern." Tarrish points out. Judas turns red and averts his eyss.

"Well, I didn't know he would tell you." Judas murmurs, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

"Judas, I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We forgot to. If you really aren't comfortable with it, we completely understand." Fern states, leaning forward slightly. Judas shakes his head.

"I don't know how that would work. What, we change who's in the relationship every week? Besides, I don't know how my church would react to that..."

"What? That makes no sense. Haven't you heard of polyamory? We don't need to switch out. And you don't have to tell people," Tarrish grins, crossing his legs, "if Fern told heaven? He would be cast out forever or be killed. If I told hell? I'd get my ass kicked for having emotional attachments. We can keep a secret if you want us to."

There was a silence after that.

After a bit more discussion, they came to an agreement and an understanding. They started slow again, but they made it official. This was their relationship. They were going to make it work, all three of them.

They were going to make it work.

...

God wasn't very happy about that, though.

(To be continued!! Yayy!!!)

#my ocs #oc lore #miscommunication #gay #polyamory #woo I love polyamorous representation!! :D #Judas Rosé #Terrisian #Fermisiel #angels and demons and priests oh my #yes I did write this all in one sitting on a school night until 11pm. #no I don't regret it. #This is probably sacrilegious. #is this sacreligious #oh well god is now my OC #/hj but also not

[khai-luvs-to-write]

"I hear your symphony."

(okay, this one is actually posted from a comment I made on a different story, that is not mine btw. try and find it, I dare you. and yes, I did write this while listening to the song.)

You and Iida have been dating for a while, right? You guys are comfortable with each other, as far as you knew. One evening(most likely past curfew, cause rules? Who's she? we don't know her), you go to check up on him because Midoriya told you he was acting differently. As you're approaching his dorm room you hear a voice you almost recognize singing a song you're all too familiar with.

"I used to hear a simple song...that was until you came along..."

You walk towards the door and hear what sounds like the strum...of a guitar? It was almost 11pm, Iida would be sound asleep right now, right?

"Now in its place is something new...I hear it when I look at you."

You sit and quietly listen by his door, the voice smoother than high-gloss paint, which is a really weird and random analogy, but it works. Before you knew it, the song was over, and you could hear a zipper and low strum of a guitar. You backed away from the door when you heard footsteps approaching where you were currently seated outside of your boyfriend's dorm room, just to hear something drop by the door. Tired, and afraid of getting caught, you begin to get up from your spot to head back to your room when you hear: "It's getting late, I can continue this tomorrow after school is done." in your boyfriend's voice. After that, everything seemed to click (even though it should have around 20 minutes ago, but your brain has problems processing things when you need it to).

Was that Iida singing?

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, while everyone is getting breakfast before leaving for the school, you pull your boyfriend aside to ask him a question.

"I was walking to your dorm sometime last night because Midoriya said you'd been acting differently and heard singing coming from your dorm. Was that you?" His face went red, and his eyes slightly widened before calmly responding:

"I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, my love. Are you sure you didn't have your headphones on and forgot about it?" he kissed your temple and grabbed his blazer to complete his uniform, and walked towards the door. You did have your headphones in last night, but you were sure nothing was playing, right?

Right?

Regardless of whether your headphones were on or not, you and Iida both agreed to never speak on the subject again.

Or so he thought.

[A/N] Hey guys! It's been a loooong while since I wrote anything, let alone anything good. I apologize for the the wait, but life's had other plans for me as of late, school and my schoolwork's been really draining me so I haven't been able to produce anything for a significant amount of time. Hoooopefully the work lightens up so I can write more.

509 words, counting the author's note.

#tenya iida x reader #tenya x reader #iida x reader #iida fluff #bnha x gender neutral reader #school's been really overwhelming as of late and I've had terrible writer's block I might take a hiatus #again I got this from my *own* wattpad account I didn't steal it I swear #khai.writes #khai.blabs #khai.cries

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

[closhelby]

HER. - Thomas Shelby

Smut

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: it’s peaky blinders, with smut

Word Count: 2472

AN: this is my first time writing smut, please give me any tips pls, it’s appreciate. It’s probably shite.

::::::

She always was on his mind. The woman, that always read between the lines, always two steps ahead of him, and had an incredible eye for business. She had left him years prior, leaving for a top business school in London. they never had a title, a label on their relationship, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that they always, somehow, gravitated back to one another. Often people, especially Polly, would say that there was no way two people would be so alike, strong headed but only rarely clashed. 

However y/n’s degree had finished and she was coming back to Small Heath for a period of time before she was going to figure out what exactly what she wanted to do. Y/n was actually great friends with the Shelby family, since growing up with them, living just down the road, they practically lived together. Y/n was actually younger than Tommy, she was ages with Ada and John. They were in the same class throughout school, Ada and y/n regularly wrote to each other, updating each other on Ada’s eventful life as a Shelby still in Small Heath and y/n’s very exciting studying life in London. 

They had actually planned to meet up, for a nice and quiet drink at the Garrison on her return. The thoughts swirled in y/n’s mind as she approached the Garrison, it had just gone 6pm, and she knew as it was a Friday, she did have a possibly of bumping into her first, arguably her only love.  Pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, she pushed open the door to see a fairly crowded Garrison. 

“Ah, y/n, how was London?” Harry shouted, from behind the bar. Y/n smiled at him, walking over to Ada sitting in the back corner. “It was good Harry, nice to be back in this clear Birmingham air”. He chuckled slightly, “Whiskey coming up love”. 

Y/n nodded, taking a seat next to Ada, giving her a cuddle, “Unsure if ive missed this place or not” y/n laughed slightly, eyes scanning the pub, looking for the one man she questioned if she did want to bump into. The pair was throwing back drinks like it was going out of fashion, knowing they would both regret this in the morning. Apparently, Ada wasn't allowing y/n to go back home, and in fact y/n didn't have a home yet and wasn't willing to go back to her parents, so Ada was insisting that she stayed at hers until y/n found a suitable place. Y/n didnt put up a fight, despite them both being hot heads, and taking absolutely no shit from anyone, men or woman, y/n didn't argue. She was actually really thankful for her. 

They eventually stumbled into the house in the early hours of the morning, their laughs echoing throughout the silent house. 

::::

The sun caught y/n directly in the eyes, quickly awoke y/n from her sleep. Her head felt as though someone had been hitting her head against the floor multiple times. Y/n continued to lay there, turning away from the sun, trying to keep the contents of her stomach from getting sprayed all over her and the sleeping Ada. She made an attempt at moving, sat with her head in her hands as she was trying to give herself words of encouragement to get up and make herself something to eat. 

“Fuck sake, why do we do this to ourselves?” Ada moaned from behind her. Y/n scoffed, “ Your bloody idea”.

Quickly standing up, in hope she could get it over with quickly. The room continuing to spin, as she attempted to walk to the door. Ada following closely behind. 

They both sat slumped over the dining room table, as they attempted to sober up and embrace the oncoming hangover. John now present, laughing at the two dying woman in front of him. 

“Good night?”

“Always.” Ada grumbled.

Pol placed a plate in front of them, toast with jam, “Does Tommy know your back? 

Eyes falling onto y/n from every person in their, “No.” answering quietly. 

Attempting to change the subject, “Told myself I would start looking for a new job today, since I shall be staying here for a decent period of time.”

John raised his eyebrow, “Tommy’s looking for a new secretary.” A slight smile on his face, “You've got a good background, business and that”.

“hm, I don't think so Johny boy”.    

“Don’t say no too soon, your a good asset to the business.” Pol added. No one was ever in y/n’s corner more than Pol, they would bang heads sometimes, as neither of them would back down. But she accepted y/n was the only one that had the best interest for Tommy.

The front door closed, and there he stood, the room turning to face Tommy, silence filling the room, then he broke it, “Heard you were back.”

“Yeah,” she replied quietly.

“Well, you know where I am if you need that job, I’m sure you’ve already been told,” he spoke, cigarette hanging from his mouth, as he walked away from them and into his office.

Y/n let out a breath, as though she hadn’t been breathing the whole time he was there. Ada smiled at her, placing her hand onto y/n’s, “I’m just going to get ready for the day love,” and off she went upstairs. The boys getting on with their day, and Pol following suit.

Y/n sat collecting her thoughts while trying to tell herself to face her ex lover, who she was still so deeply in love with. She tapped on the door slightly, opening it before opening it, “hi”, seeing his eyes flutter onto her shot tingles throughout her body, his eyes quickly looking away

“You can start tomorrow if you wish, I need a few papers signed and sent tomorrow. I can get your contract drawn up tonight.” He spoke, his eyes still not lifting from the paper in front of him.

“Yes, that’s fine 8am?”

“8.45, shop doesn’t open until 9. And there are others to set it up, that’s not your job.”

Nodding, “I heard you have a new woman.”

At this point he did look up at her, “I heard you had plenty men in London,”

She laughed slightly, nodding before heading to the door, “none were ever a patch on you,” closing the door, leaving a smirk on Thomas Shelbys face.

The following day came around, as y/n got ready for the day. Putting on a formal black tightly fitted dress, flats and pin curled hair. A slight tint of red lippy, remembering it used to be Tom’s favourite. Assuming Tommy wouldn’t be at the shop at this time, she took a whiskey with her placing it on the desk infront of Tommy’s office. The place was silent, despite there being other employees now starting to arrive, something calming about the place, almost the calm before the storm, she thought.

The hour was now around ten thirty, and there was still no sign of Tommy. She had already finished the papers he had left for her on her desk. It wasn’t the usual small Heath lady, she was educated, and to a very high level. y/n was sat twiddling her thumbs, awaiting Tommy’s arrival to get other things done.

“Y/n. My office please,” his voice low, as he stood behind her. She stood up quickly, following him into the private room.

“There’s your contract, if you wish to have a read over it. I see you’ve finished the work I gave given you for the day.”

Y/n took the contract into her hands, scanning for any mistakes or anything to question. But he actually was paying her nearly double the rate of other staff, and just over that the London rate was, “you’ve done your research eh. More than London rates, impressive. The peaky’s are stepping up in the world” Y/n smiled at him, as she placed the documents on the desk, picking up his pen, and signing it. Y/n Y/l/n. Followed with today’s date. That was now it, she was a Shelby Co Ltd employee.

...

The days turned into weeks, spending time with tommy while no one else was looking was becoming a regular thing. She now had her own place, just doors down from the shop. He would regularly call her into the office, and discuss things that he would usually never utter a word about. It had always been that way with them, since they were little, he would confine in her, telling her all the issue and problems he was facing, both in his mind and with others. But it was also coming to her attention that he was still seeing Grace.

Later on in the day, the clock chimes 11pm, as y/n sat listening to the music that takes her back to a child, while sipping a whiskey. The knock of her front door bringing her out of her daydream, she picked up her handgun that she kept on her at all times. Growing up with The Shelby’s, she had to protect herself in someway. She kept it behind her, out of view for anyone who was in front of her, slowly creeping up to answer the door. She swung it open, gun clocked and pointed directly in the face of Thomas Shelby. Not wasted, but defiantly had a few.

“Ah, can never change a Shelby girl eh” He spoke, laughing slightly as she lowered the gun and he stepped inside. 

“Although, I’ve never been a Shelby girl, have I Tom?”

“Depends who you ask.”

She sighed, stepping in to the fire lit living room, “Drink?”

He nodded in response, and y/n began to pour him a whiskey, topping up hers and handing a full glass over to him. “Why are you here?”

He stepped over to her, the closest they had been together since before she left for London. He placed a hand on her back, pulling her head into touch his, their foreheads touching. The sensation ran through her body like the first time they had ever touched. He placed his hand on around the back of her neck, pulling her into him, his lips crashing onto hers. Their tongues intertwining with each others as the kiss started to deepen.  Y/n reached for his jacket, pulling it off his back, before making her way on to unbuttoning his shirt. Tommy pulled the bottom of her nightdress up, y/n only allowing the kiss to be broken to allow it to come over her head. 

Their lips syncing with each other once again as tommy took his now unbuttoned shirt off, moving onto unbuckling his trousers revealing his already hard length. He began to push her back onto the couch, untangling her lace thongs from around her legs. His fingers trailing over her already wet pussy, “Do it” y/n whispered as she pulled his face back up to kiss hers. 

He didn't even wait as he shoved his length into her. Their bodies rocked in sync together, “Tommy...” Y/n moaned, her fingers trailing down his shirtless torso. The stars were starting to align, the room was warm, full of love. It felt as though it was five minutes but in reality it was around fifteen all in.

Their breath shortened as y/n’s back started to arch as she came close to climax, “cum for me”. He spoke, looking at her directly in the eyes as he rocked her world. The love, chemistry, love and lust, all so very present just as it was back how they were before. Both of them moaning in pleasure, as they both came at the same time. The deep breaths and steamy windows showing the passion that had just unfolded. 

::::::::::::::::::::

It was a Friday evening, a week following the night of sin that taken place between Tommy and Y/n. They had still had the talks in private in the office, and on another occasion she was fucked bent over his desk after closing time. Y/n wasn't one to hide her feelings, it would always be present on her face so when it came to facing Grace in the Garrison, it wasn't hard to tell how y/n’s feelings were over her.  

Pol chuckled softly, clocking the glare Grace was on the opposite end of, “If looks could kill” Ada joining in on the hilarity. 

“She would've been killed 8 times over” Y/n replied, turning back to face the women. Whiskey in hand. 

“Feelings still there for him then?” Ada asked. 

“No, I wouldnt say so” y/n lied. 

“Cant lie to a gypsy woman love” Pol laughed, y/n begining to laugh with her when the doors open to reveal Tommy and his two bothers. Tommy’s icy blue eyes scanning the room, a slight smile shooting over to Y/n before approching the bar where Grace was, where he stood there for a good twenty minutes chatting away to her. 

“I cant take this anymore.” y/n looked over to Ada, who was rising her eyebrow while taking a sip of her drink. She was fairly close to them, and y/n being y/n liked to have a slight stir up now and again. She stood up, smile showing on her face as Pol and Ada laughed, watching her approach them both. 

“So, hows your little fling going?” she spok loud enough that Pol, Ada, Arthur and John could hear her. 

“Y/n” Tommy warned. 

“Who are you?” Grace questioned. 

“Y/N,” she responded, leaning herself against the bar, “The woman he has fucked behind your back multiple times this week.”

Pol snorted, almost chocking on her drink, “ I fucking knew it. Gypsy senses never lie.” 

“To be honest with you Grace, you had absolutely no chance when Y/N came back” Ada added. 

At this point, Tommy had moved y/n away from the bar, into the small room, “what are you doing?”

“You cant take the piss out of me, fucking me but then fucking her thinking youll get away with it.” she was pissed, and he could see it in her face. They had never spoke on their feelings toward each other. Everyone knew that it was always each other but there was nothing that compared to them, they always seemed to go back.

“I have always loved you but you left to go to London, I had people follow you. I knew what you were up to so I assumed you would stay down there, I assumed you had moved on.” He spoke, almost showing vulnerability.

“Oh I know. I can remember faces Tom. I think you forget I can see right through you,” she seethed, through her teeth, “what are you going to do about this?”

Tommy cupped her face, pulling her into kiss her.

“I love you.” He mumbled, feeling her smile into their kiss.

“I love you Tom,”

#thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders #cillian murphy #tommy shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby x reader #tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinder fanfic

[henryobsessed]

The Veterinarian and the Werewolf - Chapter 1

Summary: Jessie has completed Veterinarian school, after the death of her aunt has moved back to her home town.

word Count: 2013

A/N hello How are you all doing? we are in lockdown again here in Victoria Australia, I hope that means more time to write :)

Prologue

Chapter 1

Jessie sank into her plush foe leather couch; it had been a month since she had returned to her hometown and surprisingly her business was thriving. Even though she had yet to treat any wildlife she had a steady stream of cats, dogs, birds, ferrets, and other assortments of domestic animals heading through her doors. A big surprise to her was the number of cattle ranchers who on her arrival had asked her to make house calls to assess their cattle. Normally they paid for someone to come out to their co-op from the neighbouring bigger city. Now she was here if she could gain their trust, she would be set.

She looked around at her aunt’s old house, so many beautiful memories, Bet had been her best friend apart from the animals and had encouraged her to follow her dreams, she had even pitched in to her college fund when her parents’ life insurances had not been quite enough. She pictured her aunt standing at the stove, cooking her pancakes, grey hair piled atop her head, apron wrapped around her tall slender body, excited to cook for “The Vet” as she had lovingly called her even before she started her degree.

The last time they had spent time together she had sat on the couch, pancakes in hand. Her honey brown eyes pinning Jessie to her seat as her age roughened voice pleaded, “You can’t keep shutting people out Jessie, you have to open yourself to the possibility that you might find love, or even a good friend. You’re an adult now, and I won’t be around forever.” Her eyes misting as she whispered, “I worry about you honey, I don’t want you living your life alone like I did.”

Jessie had hugged her aunt pulling her in tight as she felt her sweet Bet’s distress. She had never asked why she was on her own, caught up in her own dramas. She had loved that it was just the two of them. But now she wondered if she had been too selfish. Once she was at college, her aunt was alone again. As if validating her aunt’s concern’s, she had received a call, a week after returning back to her last month of college. Her Aunt had suffered a major heart attack at work. Even though she was in the hospital when it had occurred, they were unable to save her. It had been a hard few months no one had come by the house for the funeral, it had just been the two of them. The local lawyer had encouraged her to sell up and move to a more populated area saying they had no need for a vet, and she had considered it. But a part of her still felt connected to the land, connected to those buried deep within the woods around their house.

He phone buzzed bringing her out of her musings, shaking the tired fog from her head she peeked at the antique gold clock above the mantel 11pm, Picking up the phone she heard a timid voice answer “Is this the vet, the one that came to our ranch last week?” mind pulled into action she answered “ yes this is the Vet what can I do for you?” a shaky breath let out as the young man responded, “I’m sorry for calling so late, My name is Thomas, my dad owns Ride em ranch. I was out checking traps around the property line, I hate them so much but dad insists we have them, a wolf has been caught. If I don’t get him out of here soon my Dad or one of the hands will come and kill him. Please what do I do?” sitting up Jessie talked in a calm voice to the boy, “First thing how is the wolf behaving?” getting up Jessie pulled her coat on whilst heading for the car, “He’s growling and whimpering at the same time ma’am, I think he would bite me if I got to close, but I can see he is in a lot of pain.” Opening the door to her pickup she jumped in glad her veterinarian bag was already in the back. “Ok Thomas tell me where you are, I am on my way”

Jessie was focused looking for the a boy in a red checked shirt and dark blue jeans, a part of her was excited, she was finally able to help a wolf, but another part of her was worried she was too late. There waving his arms illuminated by the high beams of her truck she saw Thomas, he had blond hair, brown eyes, and stood around 6 ft 3 although he had not filled out yes so even with his height looked like a young man.

Pulling up she could see his obvious fretting as he didn’t stop to talk but rather, as soon as she had her bag, started moving back into the forest. The boy was so intent on getting her there he didn’t say a word, however the closer they got the more evident it was the animal was in great distress. Long lone howls could be heard along with whimpers, when Thomas broke into the area where the wolf was his whimpers changed to savage snapping of his teeth and loud growls interrupted by his whines. The was until Jessie stepped into the opening, She could have sworn the wolf looked right at her with shock before it laid its head down and quietened. Jessie was amazed, its behaviour was one of submission and in its current state was highly unusual. She walked closer, slowly talking to the animal, “Hey boy, your ok, I’m here to help ok. Will you let me help you?”

She knelt just outside of the range where the wolf could reach her and reached into the bag, the majestic creature watched her closely but gone was the snarls and defensive growling. All that was left was his pain filled whimper, quickly assessing his weight she pulled a small tranquilizer gun out along with some prefilled darts. On seeing the gun he let out a long mournful howl that tore at her heart, “I’m sorry, but this will make you feel better I promise.” Taking aim she shot into his flank. He let out a soft yelp, they kept eye contact as he slowly lowered his eye lids.

Ok Thomas we need to move fast, I had to guess his weight and even though I am sure I’ve have put him out for the night I can’t guarantee that.” Together they moved to the brown black creature, jessie made note as they together removed the trap from its leg that the creature had seen better days. His hair was matted in places and there were other areas where the fur was missing showing signs of fights that it had been in. Carefully after assessing the rest of its body, Thomas and Jessie lifted the creature which from tail to muzzle would have been 6 ft 5 however it showed malnutrition and was much lighter that she would have expected for a creature of its size and age. In fact had Thomas not been there to help she would have been able to lift the wolf herself which said a lot for its condition. Sadness filled her as they carefully placed it in the back of the truck. Once he was securely placed in the back she turned to the young man “Thank you Thomas, I appreciate your help and your kindness” Thomas looked down at his feet for a moment before signing, “Please don’t tell my pa, he would think I was a pansy for doing this. What he fails to understand is we need to work with the wolves without them….. well we need them. Thank you for coming, I hope he survives.”

Jessie watched the tall young man in her rear vision as she dove away, there was something special about him.

On reaching her clinic she bought out a trolley and carefully picked up the wolf playing him down and wheeled him into the treatment rooms. Her first priority was x-ray the leg and make sure it wasn’t broken, as she moved around the room her other patients called out to her. A small Tibetan spaniel who was in for cherry eye surgery whimpered at her before settling down in it’s cage, along with a tabby who was recovering from a broken leg, who at all the noise hissed at her. “ohh come now calm down, we have to help this poor creature ok. I expect you both to keep him company as he recovers.” She quickly took the x-rays dismayed to see that the trap had indeed crushed his ulna and radius on the right leg. The night was long as she reset the leg and applied a cast. The sun was coming up, and her young assistant joe was walking in the front door as she finished setting the wolf up in a special cage.

Joe taken aback walked around to peer into the cage, “OMG Jessie, where did you find this boy? He is gorgeous and yet has seen better days.” Exhausted she just stood wiping her hands on her apron and started cleaning, “you look like you need a break Jessie, why don’t you go home, I’ll reschedule your non important appointments and push the urgent ones back to this afternoon so you can get some sleep.” Grateful she nodded her thanks and left the Joe to care for the grumpy cat, and Tibbey.

Jessie’s dreams were plagued with images of the wolf, his eyes that held so much pain caused her heart to constrict. The resemblance to the those she had buried so many years ago could not have been a coincidence. As she tossed and turned the images grew bolder, the wolfs from long ago circled her, she felt no fear only curiousness as they sniffed at her before one by one they laid at her feet. She knelt and stroked each one, reassuring them that she would take care of him. A loud sound broke into the now peaceful dream, her mind now fussy she picked up the phone, “Jessie” the frantic voice of her assistant invaded her calm “Jessie you have to get down here, the wolf woke up and is tearing at the cage. I can’t even get close enough to change the fluid bag. I’m scared he is going to break out.” Jumping out of bed she ran to grab her bag, not even worried that she was still in her pajamas she ran to her truck. The clinic was only 5 mins by car, but she was the only one authorised to use the tranqu gun.

Running into the clinic she could hear the panicked snarls and snaps of the wolf, the sound of the metal clanging and it tried to escape. Gun in hand she ran into the room, as Joe opened the door and her eyes met that of the wolf the strangest thing happened. Just as it had in the forest, the wolf calmed, whined and laid its head down. “well I never!!” Joe breathed in exasperation, “Teach me Obi wan, Tell me your secrets” if she hadn’t been so socked herself she would have laughed at Joe’s comment. However this was not normal wolf behaviour. Taking a risk she moved forward and sat before the creature, an odd feeling settling in her stomach as joe handed her the new bag. Talking in a calm voice she addressed the canine, “This will help you feel better ok” his eyes locked with hers as he whimpered. Risking everything she hooked up the new bag then opened the cage, going against her training she reached in and caressed him. She felt his body relax the more she stroked his neck and flank until he was once again asleep. Replacing the latch on the door she looked back a Joe both confused and amazed.

Chapter 2

I have tagged people from my last story if you wish to be removed please let me know 😊

@legendarywizarddetective @blakerogue @ladamari68 @witcherfan @sillyrabbit81 @littlefreya

@stephartrave @angelcavill66 @fatefuldestinies @bageracat

​@fortheloveoftradition @kmuir1 @fanfictionaddiction99 @zealoushound @thenonrealloser @xobriellaxo24 @jessayw

@abschaffer2 @elena-myth @shy-violet-soul @hisnamewasmojito @tumblrninia @thereisa8ella@cavilladdict @its–fandom–darling @omgkatinka @leaena2go@littlefreya @elena-myth @bluedog63 @oh-for-fic-sake @legendarywizarddetective @foodieforthoughts @lady-love88 @ladamari68 @elena-myth @viking-raider @hisnamewasmojito @its–fandom–darling @fysaelys @zurcda @allthingsatlanta13 @bageracat @cecilegoestoparis

@meandmycherrytree

@f4iryerin @amberangel112 @silllyrabbit81 @crippledcatlady @multifandomlover1 @confusednerd09 @sycochick @littlefreya @absolutepie @jajphcfan @mandolover86 @ladamari68 @whereismymindlaura @antepatch @fanficforfun @thereisa8ella @davidbuddbg @ethandaddyramseyx@gayathriiii @nemessisvoninpirian@kath94210 @ladamari68@fancysthings @awallflowerstream @oddduckthatgirl@mcz02057 @gmfbaby @meanerface@adorable-hen @hrrypinks @melaniqueen2 @f4iryerin​ @biancawlf@tayxbri @whip111stuff​@kellynkeskoski @mzchievous-blog @pixie88 @marytudorbrandon @wolfsmom1 @amberangel112 @marantha

#werewolf #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #theveterinarianandthewerewolf

[qianinterprises]

Hold Me Together, Break Me Apart

Pairing | Haechan x gn!Reader

Genre | fluff, angst, roommate au, college au

Warning(s) | bad language, cursing, slamming doors, broken door knobs, broken hearts, reader is mean to Jeno (for a kinda reason)

Synopsis | Your roommate is never far from your mind, especially when you need him to hold you together as you break from the stress of college life. But what happens when you break him by accident.

Author’s Notes | Thank you sweet anon for your request! I had so much fun writing this! I really hope you like it! I may also be posting a part 2, I haven't decided yet. What do you guys think?

Work Count | 2.9K

Tagging | @treasurehobi

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Exhaustion swept across your shoulders as you shoved your key in the tattered lock of your apartment door, wincing when the gears crunched as you turned the key. When the lock clicked, you moved the key back to its resting place before pulling back on it, attempting to free it from the snug hug of the gears. However, it seemed far too content buried deep in the edges of the lock.

With a groan, you turned the jiggly handle and pushed the door open, immediately being bombarded by the sounds of four yelling boys sitting on your couch with remote controls in hand. You had forgotten your roommate was inviting his friends over.

“Donghyuck,” you called, closing the door and walking deeper into the apartment.

You kicked your shoes off at the door and slung your bag into a chair.

Your roommate didn’t answer for a long moment, but when he did, he was distracted, not even sparing you a glance.

“Yeah?”

“My key got stuck again.”

Three times your key had managed to get stuck in the lock. All three times, Donghyuck had been the one to free it.

The male in question sighed as his fingers sped over the keys of the metallic control in his hand.

“I’ll get it out in a minute,” he said.

With a nod, you made your way to your room, seeking escape from the loud yelling of the boys in the next room.

As soon as the door was shut, you let yourself succumb to the emotions attempting to swallow you up. Your knees hit the floor, face buried in your hands as tears wet your fingers. Your shoulders shook slightly as silent sobs wracked through your body.

University was hard enough without the added stress of working, gnawing at your body and soul, pulling you apart piece by piece until your tender bits were exposed for the world to abuse.

College was meant to be fun. A time for parties and drinking. A time of self discovery while also learning more about whatever subject interested you the most. These days, your life was limited to taking four classes throughout the morning, taking an hour for lunch, before reporting to the restaurant across the street where you worked as a wait staff, taking orders and receiving too few tips to add onto your already poor paycheck.

The restaurant had been the only job hiring at the time, and you desperately needed the money. Your family had been supporting you, but when your younger brother dropped out of high school, they began spending too much money taking care of the son they’d ruined by spoiling. Your father could no longer afford paying your half of the apartment rent and, while Donghyuck hadn’t outright said anything of his displeasure, covering both halves of rent for two months, you knew the boy also didn’t make enough to pay the full cost and still be able to go out with his friends. You couldn’t do that to him. So you’d taken the first job that landed in your lap, and here you were, crying on your bedroom floor at 11pm, pondering the idea of dropping out of college all together and moving back home.

A knock on your door startled you out of your thoughts.

“(Y/N), can I come in?”

You quickly ran your fingers under your eyes, wiping away the dampness the tears had left, hoping your eyes were puffy enough to be noticeable. You pulled yourself up off the floor and grabbed your door handle, twisting it and opening the door.

“Yes?”

“I have your key- hey what’s wrong?”

He presented your key between his thumb and index finger, but as soon as his eyes caught sight of your face, he paused.

You felt tears prick to your eyes, but you fought to hold them back. You hated when people asked you questions like that when you were upset. It made holding back the dam of tears that much more difficult.

“Nothing.”

That should have been the end of it, but your voice cracked, and Donghyuck was stepping into your room, wrapping his arms around your middle, and pulling you against his chest. As your face connected with the soft material covering his shoulders, you felt the dam finally give way, a loud sob leaving your mouth as your own ars wound around him, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt as you bellowed against him.

His arms tightened around you, almost as though he were a bungee strap wrapped tightly around a crumbling box, there to hold it together.

“I’m so tired!” you sobbed, shoulders shaking hard. “I have three papers due by tomorrow night that I haven’t even started because I’ve had to work and when I get home I’m exhausted and I keep pushing it off and now I’m going to fail three classes and-”

You were cut off by his soothing voice, shushing you softly as his hand stroked your back the way he knew you liked.

“It’s going to be ok baby,” he whispered softly.

Your roommate somehow had a weird effect on you. Just by speaking in a certain tone, he could rile you up, make you sleepy, or completely put all your fears and nerves to rest. As you melted against him, allowing him to take the majority of your weight, you didn’t stop to ponder the nickname.

“What classes are your papers due in?” he asked.

His arms around your waist loosened, but neither of you let go.

“Literature with Dr. Wong, Grammar with Dr. Jeon, and History with Dr. Lee.”

“Come with me.”

With that, he pulled away from your hug, leaving you about to whine when he grabbed your hand and pulled you from the room.

“Does anyone have Dr. Lee, Dr. Jeon, or Dr. Wong?” he asked.

“I’ve got Wong,” the tallest of Donghyuck’s friends, you believed his name was Jeno, said.

“Have you finished your paper for his class?”

Jeno nodded.

“Will you come over tomorrow and help (Y/N) write hers?” Donghyuck asked.

“Sure!” Jeno said, giving you a reassuring smile.

“I have Dr. Jeon, but I’m not finished with my paper yet. I asked for an extension though and she gave me until Monday. Maybe ask for one too and then we can work on them together,” Donghyuck’s friend with dyed blue hair offered.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, nodding.

“Thank you Jaemin,” Donghyuck beamed.

“I have Dr. Lee, but you know he doesn’t read our papers right? As long as you have the buzz words he’s looking for, he’ll give you a good grade. I can email you my paper and you can just rewrite a few sentences so it isn’t total plagiarism,” the other, tiny friend answered.

Renjun actually happened to be in your class with Dr. Lee. You didn’t know why you hadn’t realized before.

“Now see! All you have to do is ask for help when you need it,” Donghyuck said, squeezing your hand softly before letting it go.

“Now, I have to get back to beating these losers’ asses, but there’s pizza in the fridge if you're hungry!”

Donghyuck leapt onto the couch, settling himself between Jeno and Renjun, retrieving his controller. Then they all were gone once again, back in their own world of screaming obscenities at one another as they fought whatever the zombie alien things on the screen were.

With a smile, you felt your body relaxed, muscles now not as tense as you as you made your way into the kitchen to retrieve the pizza he had mentioned.

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When the next morning rolled around, you were hauling yourself out of bed to attend your morning classes, but today, you didn’t feel horrible, like you wanted to crawl back under the blankets and sleep your life away. Perhaps it was the fact that you had the day off. Or maybe it was because your roommate had somehow taken all your worries and frustrations and made them easier to handle.

Like he always did.

Donghyuck was nothing if not reliable. He was always there when you needed him, whether it was getting your key out of an old lock or gluing you back together as you fell apart in his arms. He was always there to ground you. Maybe he could be annoying sometimes, especially when it was three in the morning and he was crawling in bed with you after having a nightmare, or when he’d beg you to make him hot chocolate every day in the winter because he always scorched the milk when he tried. Lee Donghyuck was the perfect person to share your home with. You just wished you could share the rest of your life with him too.

As your last class ended, you pulled your phone from your bookbag to find a notification to join a group chat from Donghyuck. Raising your eyebrow, you accepted, seconds later directed to a chatroom full of memes and video game references.

FullSun00: Finally she’s joined!

JenoJams: Cut her some slack, she’s been in class!

Jaemberry: She should just text in class like we do!

You: Texting in class prohibits learning!

ArtJun: I like this girl!

FullSun00: (Y/N)!! Meet us in the cafeteria!! We’re sitting in one of the back booths!!

You: Uh… Ok? I’ll be there in five.

Donghyuck was always adamant about keeping you away from his friends group chats despite the amount of times Jeno and Jaemin had tried to convince him to add you. Being invited now was a little odd, but odd didn’t fight the smile on your face as you shoved your notebooks into your bookbag and took off for the cafeteria.

When you got there, the cafeteria was full, as it usually was, but you managed to wind yourself around the heaps of students waiting in lines or moving toward their tables. You walked toward the back of the cafeteria where the most popular seats were, cushioned booths that were alway crowded.You scanned the area looking for Donghyuck, but in the end, it was Jaemin’s blueberry hair that led you to them.

“How did you guys manage to get a booth?” you asked, taking off your backpack.

The booths had long seats large enough to fit three or four people on either side, tables stretching long enough to encompass everyone's plates with plenty of room to spare. It’s part of what made them so popular.

Jeno took your backpack from you, passing it across the table to Jaemin who slid it under the booth where it joined the pile pressed against the wall.

“We got here an hour ago. We tend to spend a few hours here. Easier to eat our fill that way,” Jaemin said.

Renjun snorted.

“Jeno and Jaemin are like human vacuum cleaners. It takes many servings before they’re satisfied,” he laughed.

You shook your head, eyes scanning over the table before realizing that someone was missing.

“Where’s Donghyuck?”

“Miss me already?” your roommate's annoying voice spoke from behind you.

You whirled around to find the man in question standing there juggling two cups of soda and two plates filled with food from the pasta bar, which happened to be the most popular bar and incidentally, your favorite.

“I figured you’d be hungry and I know you love your pasta,” he said.

He moved around you, placing both plates and drinks on opposite sides of the tables before sliding in next to Jeno. It was only then that you realized the second plate was for you.

“Donghyuck… you didn’t have to-”

“Hush and sit,” the male said, looking down at his plate.

If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought the man was blushing. But this was Donghyuck you were talking about, and Donghyuck didn’t get embarrassed or blush.

You sat yourself down by Renjun and lifted your soda to your lips. As soon as it hit your taste buds, you sighed happily. Donghyuck knew you so well. He knew exactly what you’d want to eat and drink. He was perfect. He’d make the perfect boyfriend…

“Hey (Y/N), after lunch, you want to head back to your place to work on that paper? I’m done for the day,” Jeno asked.

You swallowed the noodles you’d just shoveled into your mouth.

“Sure! I’m done too! And the apartment will be quiet because Hyuck has class!” you shot a teasing smirk in Donghyuck’s direction, earning yourself a glare.

°:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        ° .   ☆     ✮　 °:.   *₊       °:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        °

Lunch seemed to fly by and before you knew it, Jaemin was handing you your bookbag as you all grabbed up your plates, ready to relinquish your booth to someone else.

You bid goodbye to Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck, all who were heading to various classes while you and Jeno made your way across the street to your apartment complex.

Stepping inside, your key thankfully didn’t get stuck this time. You tossed your bookbag onto the couch before flopping beside it. You grabbed your laptop off the side table. Jeno took a seat beside you, opening his own laptop.

As soon as the screen to your laptop turned on, you let out a loud yelp as one of your many images of you and Donghyuck together met your eyes, Donghyuck’s sun-kissed face grinning at you through the screen. You typed your password in hastily, but it was too late. Jeno’s face blossomed into a teasing, shit-eating grin that you wanted to slap away.

“So… Donghyuck huh?”

“I don’t know what you're talking about!”

Embarrassment made your stomach churn.

“How long?”

There was no hiding it. Jeno had seen your computer screen. While most university girls had images of baby animals or their favorite band as their lock screens, you had your favorite person to stare back at you.

“Since I moved in…” you mumbled.

His eyes widened.

“And you haven’t told him yet?!” he gaped.

“I haven’t told anyone.”

“You told me!!”

“No, you found out, there’s a big difference,” you corrected.

“Well are you going to tell him?” Jeno asked.

“Of course not! Why would I tell my roommate that I’ve got a big fat crush on him?!” you exclaimed.

“Maybe because he could like you too?”

“Psh, yeah right. Come on, let’s get to work.”

“(Y/N)-”

“No Jeno. I may practically be in love with the man, but why would he ever like me?! He is everything and I’m nothing. He’s the full package with so much to offer some lucky person who steals his heart. I have nothing to offer him but stress and insecurities. So can we please just get to work on this paper and forget about him?!”

You didn’t realize you had tears rolling down your cheeks until Jeno brought his hand up to cup your face, gently running his thumb under your eyes to wipe away the tears softly.

“You’re not nothing. You’re everything,” he whispered.

There was something in his voice. Something that had you drawing closer to him. His eyes flicked down to your lips and back up to your eyes. Your head buzzed with want, blissfully unaware to the emotions of your heart as Jeno’s lips met yours.

His lips were rough, chapped. They pricked yours almost uncomfortably, but they were warm and moist. It had been so long since you’d had such a moment with anyone. So long since you’d last been kissed that perhaps your judgment was impaired as your lips moved against his.

But all too soon, reality was coming to slap you in the ass. This time, in the form of the apartment door opening and Donghyuck stepping through, a gasp leaving his lips as he caught his best friend and the girl he’d fallen in love with locking lips on his couch.

Your lips quickly separated from Jeno’s at the sound of someone intruding. Your eyes became as wide as saucers when you noticed Donghyuck standing in the threshold of your home.

You shot up from the couch, nearly knocking your computer to the floor.

“Hyuck! I can explain! We-”

“Don’t bother.” His tone was so icy it tore right through your heart.

He slammed the door and stormed off to his room. You jumped as his bedroom door slammed shut with a hard wham that made the walls rattle.

“I-... I…”

More tears pooled in your eyes as your hands began to shake.

“No…” you whispered.

Jeno stood up from the couch and made a move to wrap his arms around you, to comfort you, but you lurched away from him.

“No!” you screamed! “Leave me the fuck alone!”

Your breathing was heavy. Anger ripped through your veins. You knew it wasn’t entirely Jeno’s fault, and it wasn’t fair of you to scream at him like it were, but you couldn’t help it. Standing in the wake of a big mistake, you had no other option but to be angry, because how would your roommate ever like you now if he thought you were dating his best friend.

“(Y/N) please-” Jeno began, but you cut him off.

“Was this your plan?! Get me to fall apart so you could put me back together when he walked in?! Do you realize how fucking messed up that is?! I confided in you! I told you how I felt! And you kiss me?! Then he walks in and you try to hug me?! I don’t like you Jeno! Not like I love him! You are not, nor will you ever be, Lee Donghyuck! So just get out!”

You weren’t typically a rude or mean person, but as Jeno looked down before packing up his laptop and scurrying from the room like a puppy with his tail between his legs, you couldn’t help feeling like you’d just lost two great friends.

Maybe today wasn’t a good day after all.

#nct one shot #haechan x reader #ficscafe #lsn.works #nct haechan #haechan x you #haechan x y/n #gender neutral reader #stress #roommate au #college au #broken hearts #nct dream #slight jeno x reader #swearing #hurtful words

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Nowhere to Run by  GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here:

It’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

Chapter 10: We are Glass

Killian spent the next couple of weeks recovering in the hospital. He asked Robin to stay at his place to keep an eye on Emma and Henry, yet Emma spent most of her time next to his bed side when she wasn’t sitting in the corner of the room with Henry on her lap, teaching him his school lessons.

She told him how she had been teaching Henry everything she could while they were on the run. He could read and write, knew his arithmetic, and was an excellent artist. He found that even when he was tired, he would spend his time watching the two with reverence. Emma was a patient mother, but Henry was also an exceptional child.

“Did it hurt when you got shot?” The boy mused as he sat on the end of his bed, peeking up from between the cards in his hands.

“Aye. I would say it was pretty painful. Go fish, by the way.” He paused. “But the pain was replaced quickly by a sense of numbness, I guess, so I didn’t feel it long.” He stretched restlessly, looking down at his cards. “Have any 3’s?”

The boy narrowed his eyes, looking through his cards. “Go fish.” He smirked. “Do you think my dad is going to get out of prison and come after us again?”

Killian placed his cards against his chest. “I don’t think so lad. He’s going to have a trial. He has that right. The state will present its evidence, and he’ll face any consequences that he’s found guilty of. But you don’t have to worry, Henry. Even if he does get out, he’ll never get near you or your mom again.”

“But what about you? Who’s going to protect you?”

“Well, I’ve got Captain Nolan, and my partner Robin. Will and Belle…”

“And mom and me.” He said proudly.

Killian’s heart swelled. “You’d protect me? I’m honored.”

“Is Rogers ok?” His nose scrunched in worry.

“He’s staying with Will. He’s not a young pup anymore, so the old boy needed a lot of help getting better. But when they finally let me out of here, he’s gonna come back and live with me.”

“Will me and mom live with you?”

Killian swallowed nervously. He and Emma hadn’t talked about the future yet. There was still so much for them to resolve. Ten years was a long time to be apart, especially when the last time they had seen each other they were not in a good place.

“Your mom and I have a lot to talk about still.”

“Are you really married to my mom?” Continuing his barrage of questions.

He sighed. “Aye.”

“That must have been weird having her gone for ten years then. I bet you missed her.”

“More than all the stars in the world.”

“She used to tell me stories about you.” The boy said, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Did she now?” He mused.

“Sometimes you were a cop fighting bad guys, other times you were a swashbuckling pirate searching for treasure, and sometimes you were a Lieutenant in the Royal Navy sailing off on a ship to save the princess. Mom tells the best stories, but they were always about you.”

Killian’s eyes glassed over, bending his head to reach up and swipe at his face. “Your mother has quite the imagination, but I’m happy to be able to oblige for your entertainment.”

“Who’s hungry?” Emma’s voice filled the room as she came carrying a tray of food and drinks. “The doc says you are off your diet.”

Killian groaned happily as she sat the hamburger down on the tray in front of him. The first real food he would get to eat in weeks. He bit into the burger immediately, moaning loudly as soon as he tasted the meat on his tongue. Emma was staring at him, her mouth slightly agape. “Wut?” He said between chews.

“Nothing.” She said with an embarrassing glance away from him, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. At least he still had some sort of effect on her, he thought.

“How did the call with Liam go?” She sat down in the chair next to him, pulling a grilled cheese sandwich into her hands.

“He was happy to hear that Neal is behind bars. He’s going to come visit soon when the girls are on holiday. He wanted me to tell you how gutted he was knowing everything you’ve been through.”

She shrugged, something she did often when he mentioned her past with Neal. “It will be nice to see him again. The girls must be so big now.”

“Aye. Twelve and sixteen now. He has his hands full for sure.”

She took a bite of her sandwich, watching Henry coloring at the end of Killian’s bed. “He’s not bothering you is he?”

“We were just playing a game of Go Fish. I think he cheats.” He whispered loudly, earning a complaint from Henry. Emma let out a pleasant laugh, something he was happy to earn from her.

“Doctor says you might get out of here tomorrow.”

“That’s my hope as well. I can’t wait to see Rogers.”

“I’m glad he’s alright. The old boy’s a survivor.” Emma mused.

“Aye, that he is.”

“I made an appointment for Henry and I to go see Dr. Hopper next week.” She said with a sad smile. “Figured I might need to talk through some things before we have to face Neal again at trial.”

“Hop’s a good man.”

“You know him?”

“Aye.” He nodded, not wanting to get into the fact that he knew him because he had been his patient, after Emma had left, when the world crumbled at his feet.

“I’ve been looking for a place to stay once you get released from the hospital. I know you’re going to need your bed to recover.”

Killian bit his lip. He knew they needed to discuss this. He didn’t want her to leave, but he also knew that they had a lot to work through if they were going to ever find their way back to each other. If she still wanted that.

“I can talk to Will. He had a vacancy across the hall from him a couple of weeks ago.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“Emma…”

“Hey there.” Killian stared at Emma’s face as David entered the room. “How ya feeling?” He turned, facing his boss.

“Doing great, going home tomorrow, I’ll be back on the streets before you know it.” He grinned cheekily.

“Yeah you’re taking some time off, buddy.”

“What?” He complained.

“Take a vacation, Killian. You’ve earned some time off. Robins got your cases locked down right now.”

“Cap, I’m fine.”

“It’s an order, Detective.” He walked over to Emma and smiled, she suddenly reached up and wrapped him into a hug.

“You look better.” He said softly.

“I feel better, I feel like I’ve gained ten pounds just eating three meals a day.” She chuckled, but both David and Killian glanced uncomfortably at each other.

“Hey, don’t do that. I’m fine.” She glared. “I don’t want you treating me any differently than you did when we were at the academy.” She winked up at David, “Still top of my class, sir.”

“It’s good to have you back Emma.” David smiled with a genuine air of happiness.

Three months later

Emma picked the shirt off the floor in Henry’s room, tossing it into the hamper. “Did you remember to pack a toothbrush?” The boy appeared from behind the doorway, poking his head into the room.

“Yup. It’s in the front pocket of my duffle.” He disappeared again and then reappeared. “Are you gonna be ok with this?”

Emma smiled at him. “Of course, I am, why would you ask that?”

“Cuz this is my first sleepover away from you that isn’t over at Killian’s.”

“I’ll be fine, Henry. I actually have plans tonight.”

He moved quickly into the room. “What kind of plans?”

She sat down on the bed. “I kinda have a date tonight.”

“Does Killian know?” He asked with a shocked look of disgust on his face.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about before you left.” He sat down next to her. “My date is with Killian.”

He jumped up from the bed and pumped his arms in the air. “Yes.”

Emma laughed. “Does that mean you’re ok with this?”

“Of course, I am. Killian’s the best. He even lets me stay up until 11pm when I stay over at his place.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to him about that, but I’m glad you like him.” She wrapped her arms around Henry’s waist and hugged him tightly. “I love you, buddy. I hope you have fun tonight. And if you need me at all, you know you can call me.” She tousled his hair and kissed his cheek.

There was a knock on the door and Henry pushed away from her. “Gotta go, love you mom.”

Emma looked around Henry’s room, pictures he had drawn hanging on the wall. Her favorite one was hanging above the bed. It was of her, Henry, Killian, and Rogers playing at the park.

As difficult as returning home had been, they had settled into a pretty simple life. Emma and Henry had moved into their own apartment in Will’s complex. It was nice to have a friendly face around now and then when she found herself getting anxious on nights when Henry was sleeping over at Killian’s or when she would wake from a terrifying dream.

Will was always gracious no matter the time she found herself standing in front of his door with a bottle of rum in her hands. He would always sit up with her and listen to her talk about the first thing that came to her mind, something Dr. Hopper had suggested she try to take her mind off her nightmares. She didn’t know when it happened but before she knew it, he had become one of her closest friends.

And then there was Killian.

She wasn’t surprised that Henry had latched onto him so quickly. Killian was great with him, always patient, always offering to assist him with whatever the boy required. Which was often a lot as he was a growing boy who was adjusting to the freedom of being able to go outside and roam. Killian made sure he found new foods for him to try, adventures to experience, even new clothes to wear on his first day at a real school. Watching him with her son, the joy on his face, had her falling in love with him all over again. Of course, she hadn’t told him that. She was nervous about moving too quickly with him. Dr. Hopper told her that was normal. She had experienced a trauma and loss that not many people would cope with.

In her last session, she told her therapist that she wanted to try again with Killian. She had spent the last three months trying to figure out what her life would become now that she was home. She needed to learn who Emma was before she could deal with being Mrs. Jones again.

Killian had presented her with their divorce papers, gave her the choice to sign them and start her life fresh. She put it off, telling him that she needed some time to think before she made any big decisions in her life. He was patient and told her he understood but Emma knew that if he had his way, he would rip them to shreds.

Emma was volunteering at a small clinic that Mary Margaret worked at on the weekends, talking to victims of domestic abuse and rape. Currently she was taking it slow, still not understanding her own trauma that she had endured enough to feel like she had all the answers, but just being there with them to let them know they weren’t alone, and that someone understood what they had gone through. It was freeing to Emma to be able to own her story, to not feel ashamed anymore.

Dr. Hopper told her that was a form of acceptance. Owning what happened to you, claiming it as your story. She would never be over what Neal had done to her, stealing her dignity, laying waste to her self-esteem. But she refused to be defined by it. She didn’t want to be Emma Swan, rape victim. She was Emma Jones, survivor.

Today was going to be another step in her journey. Killian was taking her on a date. She remembered his face as they were eating lunch, a short break during his shift.

“We should go out.” She said nonchalantly between bites.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe, but I have to ask you a few questions first.” He raised his eyebrow, leaning forward for her to continue.

“Ask away.”

“I need to know if you ok going on a date with someone who is probably always going to be a little bit damaged.”

He shrugged, “Aren’t we all? I like to think I can absorb a little damage.”

“Ok then, last thing…” She grinned. “You gotta like kids or it’s a deal breaker.”

He laughed loudly, “Aye, I adore Henry.” He shrugged, “So, do I win a date with the beautiful woman who currently has a mayonnaise mustache?” He reached out, wiping the offending condiment from her lip, eliciting shockwaves through her body.

That was the moment she knew she was ready. She had felt excitement from his touch instead of withdrawing the moment he made contact.

He had insisted on being the one to plan the date, as much as she was sure she could still plan a night out, she had to admit that it took some of the pressure off. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going, only that it was somewhere she had been asking to go for a while and he felt she had earned it. Whatever that meant.

She slipped into the pink dress, pulling the straps over her shoulders. Looking in the mirror, she barely recognized herself. She looked feminine, happy, with a glint of hope in her eyes. The tears slipped onto her cheek; Neal had not stolen everything from her.

There was a knock on her door, a smile crept on her face. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and centering her mind. She was taking control of her life tonight.

Opening the door, she couldn’t control the shiver she felt when she saw him come into view. The man she fell in love with so many years ago was standing in front of her. Sure, he was older, the hint of grey kissing his hair, fine lines around his eyes, but he was even more gorgeous today than she remembered him all those years ago. This was the man who was willing to give up his life for her, loved her enough to save her, even if it meant he couldn’t have her.

“You look…”

“I know.” She giggled, accepting the rose he passed toward her. Her nose inhaled the fragrance of the flower, eyes glancing down his frame, the anticipation of the rest of their evening taking her to new heights.

“Shall we?”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Patience is a virtue, love.” He winked.

She rolled her eyes but followed him out to his car. They drove in silence, her hands folded in her lap. The soft sounds of the radio playing through the car.

Trying to live and love,

With a heart that can't be broken,

Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened.

Yeah, we both carry baggage,

We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,

And I will do the same.

Emma felt the tears sting her eyes. The lyrics breaking into her heart as she chanced a glance at the man sitting beside her, his eyes focused on the road, his jaw tensed, that familiar vein popping from the side of his neck. He never forgot her in all the time she had been gone. She knew how he felt about her. The way he loved her. He’d been so patient with her these last few months. Not pushing her either out the door or into his heart.

We may shine, we may shatter,

We may be picking up the pieces here on after,

We are fragile, we are human,

We are shaped by the light we let through us,

We break fast, cause we are glass.

'Cause we are glass.

He turned toward her, a smile ghosting on his lips that held onto hope. When she walked out the door ten years ago, she knew she still loved him, that she would always love the man who had risked everything for her. Now she knew that back then, before everything went to hell, she was being stubborn walking away, letting her fear of the unknown hold her captive.

I'll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,

And in the darkness of this moment,

You see the good and bad.

But try not to judge me, 'cause we've walked down different paths,

But it brought us here together, so I won't take that back.

She exhaled, a stray tear slipping against her cheek. She let it fall, not afraid of her emotions anymore. She had been stubborn; she should have known that they would have made anything work. Instead, she walked away and ended up in a hell she couldn’t control.

We might be oil and water, this could be a big mistake,

We might burn like gasoline and fire,

It's a chance we'll have to take.

Emma was ready to let go of all of that. To let go of the ten years she had been robbed of, to forget all the stubborn and foolish decisions that had gotten them to this moment. She wanted to reclaim her life. She wanted to take back what was owed to her.

We are glass.

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFMIt’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

#stacy's fics #nowhere to run #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #captain swan fics #captain swan au #captain swan modern au #emma jones

[yeet-me-dad-dy]

Bloody Mary

Warnings: Blood

Summary: You find yourself on Hannibal’s menu. Unfortunate for him that you’re not easy prey.

Characters: Hannibal + Vampire Reader (Gender Neutral)

Words: 3,537

Hannibal rested back against his kitchen counter, humming a quiet tune as he flicked through his recipe box. Whatever recipes he ultimately settled on making you into needed to be perfect. You deserve only the best recipes, and the recipes must deserve you, too. 

You and Hannibal met two weeks ago, when he accompanied Jack Crawford to your little classroom in the local college to ask about some strange symbols that were found at a recent crime scene. He was there to create an on-the-go profile of you for Jack, something that the FBI agent had started doing when some little bird whispered worrying things into his ears at night and made him paranoid that no one could be trusted.

Despite being experienced at profiling, Hannibal had great difficulty reading you. In fact, he wasn’t able to read you at all. He was too distracted by… well, you. He didn’t know if you had the same effect on Jack, but your very presence caused Hannibal’s head to spin. There was something about the way you moved, the way you talked, your scent, your smile… your eyes, god, your eyes. When you shook Hannibal’s hand, you looked straight through him. You looked into him, peeled back the curtains and gazed at his very soul as if it was as easy for you as making a cup of coffee. His heart had caught in his chest, and there was, momentarily, a very real fear that you knew exactly who and what he was.

Was this why he decided then and there that he was going to kill you and eat you? It may have contributed to the decision, as well as the certain level of arrogance that you carried, safely tucked under your jacket. As he thought about it more and more afterward, though, he came to the realization that it wasn’t fear that drove this decision, nor was it a dislike, or the belief that you were rude. You weren’t. Arrogant, yes, but not rude. You were perfectly pleasant. In the end, he concluded that it was desire that made the gears in his head turn toward your demise. You smelled divine, you had soft skin, a strong body. You were intoxicating- perfect - and he wanted to devour you in the most literal sense of the word.

With a pleased sigh, he closed his recipe box and returned it to its rightful place on the counter, then checked the time. It was nearly 11pm. He should go to bed, he knew, but his mind was racing with thoughts and plans. It was far too busy up in his head for him to be able to sleep. Instead, he stretched, poured himself a glass of red wine, and headed for his study, where he sat at his desk, retrieved a pen and paper, and began to write.

“Agent Crawford, Dr Lecter. Good to see you’re both well.”

You greeted Jack and Hannibal with a dazzling smile and a handshake, then motioned to the twin chairs in front of your desk.

“Make yourselves comfortable, please.”

Jack obeyed, but Hannibal couldn’t. He couldn’t look at you without thinking of your flesh in his mouth, so he wandered over to a nearby bookshelf and absentmindedly browsed the array of titles, his focus on the conversation behind him.

“What do you have for us, Professor?” Jack asked pleasantly, and Hannibal glanced behind him only long enough to see you take a seat in your expensive desk chair and open an old tome to a marked page, which you then spun around to show Jack.

He kept one ear on the conversation, but didn’t hear much. His head was swimming again, confirming that your presence was the source of the problem and not the vanilla body spray you had been wearing the day he met you, but were not wearing today. Before he knew it, Jack was clapping him on the shoulder to get his attention and thanking you for your help. 

“It’s my pleasure, Agent Crawford.” You had come around to stand on their side of the desk, hands tucked into your pockets. “I’ll help in any way I can. I want to see whoever is doing this caught and cuffed. Not only are they killing innocent people, but they’re playing with things they shouldn’t be. They’re a danger to everyone. You have my number, so please don’t hesitate to call if you need me. I’m available any time of the day or night.”

“I appreciate that, Professor. Truly. It seems like it’s getting harder and harder to come across good people nowadays.”

You nodded solemnly. “You two be well. And stay warm out there; the forecast calls for snow this weekend.”

Jack chuckled. “You too.”

He strode from the room without looking back, sure that Hannibal would follow. He would, in a moment, but he needed to talk to you first. He took in a deep breath to try and clear his head and stopped before you with a gentle smile.

“Did you get my invitation?” he asked.

You nodded and offered him a smile to match his own. “I did, and as honored as I would be to join you for dinner, I’m afraid I can’t. I have a very strict diet, one that I know that you won’t be able to provide for. I am truly sorry.”

Hannibal tilted his head to the side, only the barest gesture to indicate that he wasn’t sure he believed what you were telling him. 

“Whatever your special diet is, I am sure that I would be able to accommodate. I am quite the skilled chef. I can make anything you should request of me.”

You tilted your head as well, a perfect mirror to Hannibal. “I’m sorry,” is all you said, and the last you would say on that matter. He returned home that night, disgruntled and inconvenienced, but not put off in the slightest. There was always the chance that you would decline his invitation, and so he would have to find another way to get you to his house. If you wouldn’t join him as a guest, kidnapping was always an option.

It wasn’t difficult for Hannibal to discover that you stay on campus late into the night, and sometimes all night. Jack had been very useful in uncovering information about you, even if he was ignorant of the fact that it would be used against you. You have many admirers at the college, both students and colleagues, you work hard, you rarely sleep, you arrive early and stay late, or you don’t arrive at all. The days when you don’t arrive, it’s as if you’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. No one knows when you’re about to take one of your impromptu vacations, or where you go when you do, and quite frankly, everyone is too afraid to ask, though they wouldn’t tell Jack why.

He decided, after a few days of contemplation and careful planning, that taking you late one night would be the best decision. There would be no one else on the campus, at least not anywhere near your office, and no one would question your sudden disappearance if that was something you did frequently anyway. He scouted the parking lots before hand, thought through all of his tools to decide what would be best for knocking you out, made sure his car’s back seat would fit you comfortably, and prepared you a place in his house, where you would stay, alive and healthy, as he slowly cut you apart, piece by piece, meal by meal, to devour you.

When the night finally came to pay you a visit, large snowflakes fell gracefully from a black, moonless sky, the stars beyond obscured by thick clouds. The parking lot was sparsely lit by dim street lights placed few and far between, and they illuminated the snow that had begun to stick to the ground. Hannibal would have to hurry. He didn’t want his footprints giving him away. 

He strode purposefully across the blacktop, using his phone to light the way, until he came to one of the college’s ornate side doors and the steps leading up to it. He tucked his phone into his pocket, pulled on his black gloves, and tried the door. Locked. He expected this, which is why he had stolen your key earlier in the week. He retrieved the key from the inside pocket of his coat and unlocked the door with a soft click. He opened it and stepped inside, then closed it quietly against the cold outside.

It was much warmer in here, comfortable, and the hall was dimly lit with the emergency lights that the school keeps on during the off-hours to deter intruders. He had stared at the college’s blueprints so often and for so long since deciding he would have you, that he knew the way to your office like the back of his hand, despite never reaching it from this entrance before. Down the hall, take a right, go up the stairs, another right, two lefts, and yours was the office tucked at the end of the corridor.

There were no windows in this hallway, and thus no emergency lights. The walk to the thick walnut door that closed off your little sanctuary from the rest of the campus was done in darkness, and Hannibal’s shoes made no sound on the tile floor as he approached. He never gets nervous before a kill, but tonight, he had to pause and steady himself before he finally raised his knuckles to the wood and rapped three times.

“Come in,” your voice answered from inside.

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The large room was dark. The only light came from the lamp sitting on your desk that illuminated a large, ancient-looking tome open on the surface, and you sitting behind it with your hand on the page.

He stepped inside and offered a polite smile. 

“Hello. You didn’t hesitate when you heard the knock. Are you expecting someone?”

You chuckled and leaned back in your chair to stretch.

“No, but this isn’t the first time I’ve had a visitor at one in the morning. Although uncommon, it does happen. Usually it’s one of my students, though. Please, come in. And feel free to turn on the light.”

Hannibal flicked the lightswitch and closed the door behind him, then strode forward, taking a moment to study his surroundings. A bust of an unknown figure by the window, thick curtains, fireplace tools… all things you could use against him should this go poorly.

“Are you fond of the dark, Professor?” he asked as he took a seat in one of the chairs across from you.

“Yes, I am. The lights give me a headache,” you smile.

“Well, I won’t be here for long, and I’ll be sure to turn them off when I leave.” He returns the smile.

“What can I help you with, Doctor?” you ask as you mark the page you were studying in the book, close it, and scoot it aside.

“I was on my way home and thought I’d stop by. There are some things about these murders that have struck my curiosity.”

He meant the recent string of homicides that you were consulting with the FBI on, of course. 

“The kind of curiosity that I can help with?” you asked with a raised brow.

“Yes, perhaps. Agent Crawford came to you because you teach a course on occult studies. You know the symbols that were carved into the victims, drawn on the walls in blood, scribbled on the floors…”

“And is it those symbols that you’re curious about?”

“I’m curious about all of it, Professor.”

You and he talked for quite some time, far longer than he expected to. He supposed that kidnapping you would take him all of fifteen minutes if all went well, but when he looked at the clock on the wall behind you, it had been over an hour and he hadn’t even considered what he had gone there to do yet. He had to admit to himself later that he enjoyed your company and the conversation; not only the topic, but how passionate and insightful you were about your work, and how excited you seemed to be to teach someone something new. He supposed he knew why you became a teacher, then. Eventually, an opportunity arose, and he knew he had to cut the conversation short and take it, or he would leave there without his prize.

He asked you the specifics of the origin of the ritual that the murderer had seemingly been trying to perform, and you rose from your chair with a grin.

“I have a book here that explains it in great detail that I would be willing to let you borrow. Let me just find it.”

You strode around your desk and made your way behind Hannibal to the massive bookshelf on the far left wall. It was as you searched the titles for the one you needed that he pushed himself to his feet and strode quickly toward you. He wanted to strangle you, not enough to kill you, of course, just enough to knock you out. He wanted to feel you in his arms, squirming, writhing, choking, struggling to breathe, fighting to free yourself. He wanted to feel your heart pounding in your chest as fear flooded your senses. He wanted to smell your delicious aroma as your body went limp in his arms. He wanted to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck as you finally fell unconscious.

He darted forward, like a viper striking its prey, but instead of wrapping his arm around your neck, he felt a shove between his shoulder blades and then the sting of a nearly broken nose as the bookshelf came forward to meet him. He managed to maintain his footing, and spun around with his hand covering his nose, eyes watering from the pain, to press his back against the books and steady himself. You stood before him, and he watched as your soft, friendly smile twisted into a wicked grin, and those gentle eyes that seemed to see all went dark, your gaze morphing into something predatory. 

It took him longer than he liked to admit to realize what had just happened. The speed with which you stepped out of the way and spun around to shove him into the bookcase was nearly inhuman. 

“To be entirely honest, Dr Lecter… I expected more. I expected a challenge.”

Hannibal only blinked in response, confused and unsure how to proceed. He hadn’t accounted for this.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” You took a step forward. “I know you came here to kill me, Doctor, but you’re going to have to try a bit harder than that.”

“I didn’t come here to kill you,” he mumbled through his hand as blood from his nose began to seep between his fingers and drip onto your carpet.

You clicked your tongue as you watched the crimson droplets fall. “That’s gonna stain,” you growled.

That’s when Hannibal’s survival instincts kicked in. He retrieved his knife from his pants pocket and flicked it open. A crude weapon, yes, but effective. He managed to clear the tears from his eyes and accept the pain in his nose well enough to remove his hand. And then he struck. Or, he tried. You dodged effortlessly out of the way, not only of his first attack, but of his second as well, and then his third, his fourth, fifth, sixth. It was as if you knew every move he was going to make before he did.

“Come on, Doctor Lecter. You’re a killer. Kill me.”

Mocking… you were mocking him. He sneered and adjusted his grip on the knife’s hilt.

“You know, Professor… mocking is rude.”

He lunged again, missing your cheek by a fraction of a centimeter, and then your neck by just an inch on the backstroke. Strike after strike was either dodged or blocked, and then suddenly, you were on the offensive. 

You landed a jab to his ribs, and then another to the other side. You shoved your foot behind his heel as he stumbled back, and he fell back against the window. The cold of the glass sent a shiver down his spine despite his wool coat… or maybe it was the sudden realization of the situation he’d found himself in. You held him against the window with an arm across his chest while the other curled around the fist that held the knife and pinned it flat, immobilizing the only method of attack he had. The thick curtains and the bust were too far for him to reach, and your hips were against his, rendering his legs useless.

Hannibal panted hard, struggling to catch his breath after expending far too much energy trying to wound you. You, on the other hand, hadn’t even broken a sweat. Despite dodging every attack he had made, you weren’t breathing hard. He furrowed his brow. You weren’t… breathing. He couldn’t feel your breath on his face, your chest wasn’t rising and falling. He was imagining things, surely. You were just breathing lightly. That must be it.

“That was much better, Doctor Lecter, thank you for the exercise. I’ve been sitting in that chair for far too many days and nights. I’ve been needing a good fight to wake me up, and here you are providing one. Now tell me… if you weren’t here to kill me, then why creep up behind me?”

“You didn’t accept my invitation,” he panted.

You smirked. “So you were going to knock me over the head and drag me home, was that it?”

“Not knock you over the head. I was going to suffocate you.”

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t have done much, Doctor. But to be fair, neither would knocking me over the head, so I suppose you chose what you thought was the best option.”

His nose and ribs were throbbing, and all the late hours preparing for this night seemed to catch up to him all at once. He was exhausted. “What happens now?” he asked quietly, gazing into those cold, dark eyes of yours. “Will you kill me? Toss me from this window? Use my own knife to gut me?”

You chuckled and released him, but remained close. “Eventually, perhaps, but now. That would be too easy. Boring.”

“So you release me and revel in the terror I feel, looking over my shoulder every second of every day, waiting for the knife in the dark?”

“That’s a wonderful way to put it. Yes, I think I like that idea.”

He grins weakly, exhaustion evident on his bloody face. “And what makes you think you’ll be able to get to me? What would you do, I wonder, If I told Agent Crawford that you are the one doing all of these ritual murders?”

“He would believe you, I’m sure, but it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to slaughter an angry mob that came banging on my door.”

Hannibal scoffs. “You think you can stand against an army of armed and armored law enforcement?”

You only smiled, not the wicked grin, nor the soft smile from earlier, but something altogether different. Something… bone-chilling.

“I want to show you something, Dr Lecter.”

Gently, you reached out and took hold of his wrist, his arm and his knife long since fallen to hang loosely at his side. Your black gaze bored into him as you raised his hand and pressed the edge of the blade to your throat. 

“Cut,” you ordered.

“You want me to kill you?”

“You won’t kill me. Now cut.”

Something happened in his head when you gave the command the second time, as if you had taken hold of his strings to puppet him. He didn’t want to, truly, and he didn’t understand why you were ordering him to, but he couldn’t stop himself. He drew the blade across your neck, cutting deep.

There was no gush of blood, no choking, no stumbling back, no terror in your eyes. You stood there, calm and collected, with that not-quite-right smile as blood slowly oozed out of the wound and ran down your neck. And then, the unexplainable happened. Your wound began to heal. Hannibal watched, eyes wide, as the gash slowly knit itself back together, until it was as if he had never cut you in the first place. Not even a scar remained as evidence of the deed.

He understood all too well in this moment that what he had gotten himself into this time was far too deep to ever get out of. His heart beat frantically in his chest, his breathing was heavy and ragged, adrenaline flooded his veins. He swallowed hard.

“What are you?” he tried to ask calmly, but his words came out as barely a whisper. 

Your lips twisted into a deadly grin and you leaned forward. You took in a deep breath, breathing in his scent. Then, you whispered into his ear.

“My dear Doctor… I’m your worst nightmare.”

#hannibal x reader #hannibal + reader #hannibal fanfiction #vampire #vampire fanfiction #vampire reader #hannibal x vampire reader #hannibal + vampire reader #spooktober

[avidreider]

Journals Part 1 ~ flatline (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Journals Series 

Based on the song, “Flatline” by Justin Bieber. 

Summary: Spencer is physically and emotionally distant and Reader decides that she won’t tolerate it anymore.

Pairing: (Pre-Prison) Spencer Reid x Reader. 

CW: angst, cursing. 

Key: Y/N = your name, italicized = unspoken thoughts, bold = texts/emails/notes, bold + italicized = song lyrics. 

-- I do not own rights to the gif nor the song. -- 

When you and Spencer first started dating, you couldn’t have been happier if you tried. He was always so attentive and caring and all of your previous relationship trauma and insecurities melted away. He had been rather transparent about the fact that he came with a past of traumatic experiences of his own, but he refused to weigh you down with the details of all that baggage. His friends vaguely explained that he suffered from addiction and lost a past girlfriend at the hands of an unsub. However, you never discussed any of this with Spencer. Regardless, you assured him that you would stand by him no matter what. 

Your relationship progressed somewhat quickly, but it was because the feelings you had for each other ran so deep. You didn’t get to spend much time with him - you were a medical resident and the nature of Spencer’s job significantly limited your time together. You dedicated large chunks of time to your own job, though, so you never complained about how much time he spent with the BAU. 

You did begin to complain, however, when he would leave in the middle of the night for ‘work,’ but then you’d get a call from Penelope or Emily asking you two what you were up to on an evening off. The first time it happened, you assumed that he just needed a break after a long case. But the second, third, and fourth time you became quite insecure. And this night, the fifth time, you felt the anger before anything else. 

“Sorry, baby, but I have to head into work. They need me,” Spencer had said to you, as he walked into the bathroom to get ready. You were immediately suspicious, so you called Emily to confirm your suspicions. 

“Hello? You okay, Y/N?” she said when she answered on the second ring. 

“Yes, Em, I’m fine! How are you?”

“I’m okay. I think Morgan, Garcia, and I are gonna go out for some drinks if you and Reid would like to come!” 

You felt your eyebrows shoot up, even though you weren’t necessarily surprised. “I’ll discuss it with him. Thanks for the invite!” and with that, you hung up. 

“So Spence, what’s the case that has you rushing off at 11pm?”

“Oh, we won’t know until we get there,” he responded. 

“That’s so unfair that they’re making you work, especially when half the team is out clubbing,” you spat, daring him to deny the truth that you already knew. 

When he said nothing, you inquired, “This isn’t the first time that you have said you had to go work when you didn’t. So what is going on? Did you fall off the wagon? Is there another woman? Did you lose the feelings you had for me?”

“No, Y/N, God -- how can you think that I’ve been doing drugs?”

“That wasn’t the only thing that I asked you, Spence.” 

“I have been going into the office to help JJ with the backlog of paperwork that she has to deal with. I also go there just to clear my head. I don’t want to just sit around here with you when I can’t focus on you. I don’t want to bring my work or other problems home with me -- I want to keep this apartment a happy place.” 

“Oh Spence, it’s our apartment. Of course it’s a happy place. I don’t want you to feel like you have to face your demons alone. If there is anything you want to talk about, I am here for you. I love you, babe, and your problems are my problems,” you assured, as your rubbed soothing circles onto his back. 

He hugged you back, and a few moments passed before he spoke again. “I don’t want my problems to end up being your problems, Y/N. You are so incredible, and-and I’m sorry, don’t take this the wrong way, but I just need some space.” 

Your mouth was wide with shock. Space? How could you take that in the ‘right’ way? How could he ask you for space when you only spent a few short hours with him in the span of a week? Your residency takes up between 40-80 of those hours, and his job usually takes up more than that. You also make a conscious effort to spend time with his friends and your friends, as well as designate time for yourselves. You practice self-care or go to the gym, while he sits at his desk and reads, or writes letters to his mother. When you do spend time together, you rarely argue. You snuggle as he reads to you, or talks about his cases (and you talk about your day at the hospital), you watch your favorite television shows, or you’re asleep. You thought that you had the perfect relationship. But apparently Spencer didn’t agree. 

“I’m just gonna go out and get drinks with Emily, Derek, and Penelope. You can come if you want, but otherwise, just enjoy your ‘space,’“ you said, with a snarky emphasis on the last word. And with that, you got dressed and walked out the door. 

You stumble back into your apartment early the next morning, and end up passing out on the couch. When you wake up, Spencer is sitting in the chair next to you with almost a guilty look on his face. “Good morning,” he said once he saw your eyes open. 

“Good morning,” you mumble. 

“So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. I’ve agreed to be a volunteer teacher at a local high school. They’re incredibly short-staffed, and they want me to step in when I can for physics, biology, and psychology. I-I also agreed to be a mentor for the school’s chess club,” he said. 

“Okay, Spence. That sounds like a great opportunity,” you replied with feigned optimism. Great. Even less time I get to spend with him. But whatever. If he needs this much space from me, I’ll give it to him. 

The next couple weeks passed slowly; Spencer was only home early in the mornings (while you had to get ready for your shift at the hospital), and late at night (when you were already asleep). You loved that he was so passionate about his job, but you were beginning to feel resentful that he chose to take on all these other commitments when it was clear he was neglecting your relationship. 

Lately you've been busy, Wonderin' if you miss me, Why did you go against me? I just wanna know... How come you act so different? Talk to me, I'll listen, All the love I'm givin', don't act like you don't know...  

You hadn’t been intimate in nearly 3 weeks; the last time being a few days before you went out for drinks with Emily, and you hadn’t felt like he truly loved you since even before that night. And quite frankly, those feelings were justified because he hadn’t said it since then, either. He still called you periodically, and texted you when calling you wasn’t an option, but those conversations were incredibly dry and only made you feel worse. In a desperate attempt to try to feel connected to Spencer, you logged onto his laptop on his desk and, if you were being honest with yourself, started snooping. You found that he had been emailing a teacher at the high school that he volunteers at. You wanted so badly to trust him, but the feeling your gut told you to read them.

To: Ms. Everett

From: Spencer Reid 

Re: Biology 

Ms. Everett 

Thank you so much for letting me lead the lecture on genetics. You sure know your stuff! Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t believe that you teach high school! You are a brilliant woman, I can’t believe you aren’t out there finding the cure for cancer or something. If there is anything else that I can do for you or your class, please don’t hesitate to email or call me! 

With Regards, 

Spencer Reid

Call him? Does that mean she already has his phone number? I don’t think that Spencer has ever called me brilliant before, either. She’s so brilliant, but his girlfriend who is actually a doctor isn’t?

You knew that your thoughts were relatively petty, but you didn’t care. Your feelings were hurt. You kept reading anyway. 

To: Spencer Reid 

From: Ms. Everett 

Re: Biology 

Dr. Reid, 

Oh please, call me Lila! And I thoroughly enjoyed your lecture! You are one captivating man! And thank you, but you don’t have to stroke my ego! I considered medical school as well as graduate research positions but my true calling is teaching children! Maybe one day I can teach your sweet Godson! I will give you a call! If you don’t have any plans this weekend, perhaps we can grab a coffee? 

Love, Lila 

LOVE? Is that a stab at me? I took the ‘easy way out’ by going to medical school? Who is this bitch?

To: Ms. Everett

From: Spencer Reid 

Oh, you don’t have to use my honorific! Spencer or Spence is fine. And that is incredible. I love teaching children as well, obviously. I have a feeling Henry would love you! And yes, coffee would be great. 

Spencer

Hmm. Is it considered cheating to get a coffee with some strange woman who you flirt with virtually (and do not tell your live-in girlfriend about)? Something is telling me ‘yes.’  Also, he’s letting her call him “Spence”?

You read a few more of his emails along those same lines, until you felt sick. After the nausea passed, the rage came. You pulled out your phone to send Spencer a text message. 

At first, you just wanted to see if he’d lie. 

You sent a text that said: Hey babe! How’s work going? If you don’t have a case this weekend I’d like to go out on a date or something. I miss you! 

Hi baby. I might have plans, it depends on the day... he responded. 

What plans? You asked innocently. 

Just professional plans. That’s kinda vague, Spence. 

Coffee plans, with super brilliant people? 

Yeah, boring stuff. But I’m sure that you and I can still do something. 

The rage began to build as you realized that he was actively keeping Lila a secret from you. 

Oh SPENCE. When were you going to tell me that you want space from me just so you can spend more time with some slutty biology teacher?! 

Your phone buzzed almost immediately. 

What are you talking about?

Don’t play dumb with me Spencer. “You’re a brilliant woman”?! Are you kidding me? How long were you planning on keeping Lila a secret from me?

This time the buzzing was more persistent. He was calling you. 

“What, Spencer?”

“How do you know about Lila? Did you go through my computer?” 

You let out a frustrated sigh, “Yeah, obviously. And I don’t regret it, because apparently you were never gonna tell me about her. Which isn’t even surprising, you don’t talk to me at all anymore. But if you were gonna cheat on me, maybe you should’ve just broke up with me instead!” 

“She’s just a friend, Y/N, and I never cheated on you! I never would. I-” but he didn’t get to finish, because you hung up. You have been so close to your breaking point these past couple weeks, and Lila was that little push it took to send you over the edge. You packed as many clothes your suitcase could fit and took off to your best friend’s house. She would let you stay, no questions asked. And that was a good thing, because you didn’t wanna talk about it just yet. She let you in her home with open arms, prepared to be that beacon of emotional support you’d been lacking from Spencer. 

---Spencer’s POV---

COME ON, Y/N, ANSWER THE PHONE! Ugh, why did you have to go through my computer? Are you that insecure?

The phone kept ringing, but to no surprise, she didn’t answer. 

I’ll call Derek. Everyone knows he’s had his fair share of relationship issues. 

“Hey pretty boy, what’s up?” He answered. 

“Derek, Y/N won’t answer her phone.” 

“Why? What did you do?”

“Why do you assume that it was me who did something wrong?”

He just laughed. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Pretty boy, for a genius you can be so dumb sometimes. I assume that it was you who made a mistake for two reasons. For one, you called me for what I can only assume is advice on how to fix it. And for two, you’re the man. It’s usually the men who mess up in relationships. So what’s going on?”

He had me there. “Okay so for the past couple weeks things between us have been... off. I’m not sure what I was feeling, but I told her that I needed space. I think I got scared because we established a routine. It made me nervous. So I picked up some hobbies.”

“What kind of hobbies?” His suspicious tone made me feel guilty. 

“I volunteered at the high school to help with some classes and to mentor the school’s chess club. But while I was there, I met this biology teacher -”

“A female biology teacher, I assume.” 

“Yes, how did you know that?”

“Reid, I know where this is going.” 

Where was this going?

“She’s a pretty woman, huh?”

“Well, yes, Lila is pretty and smart, but so what? I’m allowed to have friends. But anyways, her and I began emailing and we planned on getting coffee and Y/N got on my laptop and read those emails and -”

“You can’t be that stupid, Reid. First of all, you don’t actually want space from Y/N. You are always beaming after spending time with her. You love her more than you love yourself, and everyone knows that. Everyone but her, and probably Lila now - and that is probably one of the worst things you can do. You can’t let your woman feel like she has to compete with other women, and you can’t let other women feel like they have the chance to steal you away. That’s how you lose a good woman. You were emailing this woman, and you set up a date with her? After reducing the already limited time that you have to spend with your girlfriend, who is also incredibly pretty and smart too, I might add.” 

“Oh...” OH! She’s not insecure, I’m just an idiot. I didn’t even want space at all, I was just scared. I just didn’t want to get complacent. When my parents got complacent in their relationship, it ended. Same with Hotch and Hailey. And Penelope and Kevin. Oh my God. What did I do?

“Exactly, pretty boy. You better show up at home with some flowers and chocolates and be prepared to kiss her feet. And I’d take a break from lecturing at that school, too.” 

“Yeah, no doubt. Thanks Morgan.” 

“Go get her, tiger.” 

After hanging up, I opened the messaging app on my phone to send her a text just to let her know that I am willing and ready to fix my mistake. 

Hey baby. I just want you to know that I won’t volunteer at the school anymore, if you don’t want me to. I will also take you out this weekend, wherever you want. I love you, and I’m on the way home. 

I was out there on the road, life out of control, She became a victim to my busy schedule, And I know that it's not fair, that don't mean that I don't care - This one's dedicated to the girl out there...  

She probably won’t respond, but that’s fine, we will talk when I get home. I asked the florist for a sunflower and rose combination, and bought food from her favorite Mexican restaurant downtown. I also stopped at the grocery to get a tub of ice cream along with chocolate, caramel, and strawberry syrup, with candy and sprinkles to make sundaes. I one-upped Derek’s recommendation, and I couldn’t wait to tell him about it. 

“Baby, I’m home! We need to talk. I am so, so, sorry sweetheart... Y/N?” I shout, even though it’s pretty clear she’s not here. 

Setting my bag on the end table, I notice a note on the refrigerator. 

Spencer, 

I am really sorry that I didn’t end up being good enough for you. I hope you don’t mind but I’ll be back for the rest of my things eventually, but if you still need space from me, it can wait. Thank you for the best year of my life. You were amazing, and I hope that Lila makes you feel the way that you made me feel. I will always love you, and I know that you will continue to do amazing things in life. Tell your mom that I love her, too. 

Love, Y/N

It was actually 15 months, 6 days, and 43 minutes, approximately. 

I dialed her number without even thinking about it. Still no answer. 

I can’t believe that she left. It feels like I’m drowning - my breath is caught in my chest. BREATHE SPENCER!

She took most of her clothes. She took her computer and books too. She’s gone. She left me. Oh no. What have I done? 

Girl you always catch me at the bad time, When I know you probably think it's a lie... And I know I told you last time was the last time, How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?

Not breathin', what is it that I'm not seein'? Said she's leavin', damn I can't believe it... It's like my heart's bleedin' - Knowin' that you don't need me. Shut my heart down, now I don't know what Imma do now...

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer #dr. reid #dr. spencer reid #doctor reid #reid #spencer reid imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer x you #spencer x y/n

[haloshornsinkstains]

Devildom Easter Egg Hunt

A little late, but the idea came to me at like 11pm last night and I'm old and suck at staying up late these days.

Anyway, Easter in the Devildom. With my MC Kore, because I missed writing about her.

Warnings: Female MC, Not a reader insert, polyamory, way too much description of baskets of chocolate, that's it.

“What the hell are ya wearing Kore?”

“Everyone come to the council room after classes, it’s important.” That’s what the text had said. The one sent from your phone to all of the brothers, and all three residents of Purgatory Hall. It was more than a little suspicious, for one Kore never wanted to stay longer at RAD than she really had to, and secondly she was usually much more polite when requesting a favour. But to use the council room she must have gained Diavolo’s permission so it couldn’t be anything too bad right? At least, that’s how they reassured themselves before turning up. Whatever scenarios they had planned out, none of them came close to what greeted them in the council room.

She looked down for a moment, before grinning back at Mammon. “You don’t recognise it?”

“I believe what Mammon means is why are you wearing that?” Lucifer sighed, shaking his head at the younger demon who had been momentarily rendered speechless.

“Well…” She started, still smiling happily at them all, “it’s Easter in the human realm, and since I already had the bunny costume on hand from that serving job we did, I thought I could share some of the festivities with you all. Technically I’m a bit late, Easter was yesterday, but I wanted Dia, um, Lord Diavolo to be able to join in and he wasn’t back until last night.”

The Prince in question was standing behind her beaming happily, nodding along with everything Kore said. “Now now Lucifer, no need to look so grumpy. I think it’s wonderful Kore wanted to bring something from the human realm to all of us!”

“But, that doesn’t explain why yer wearing that!” Mammon huffed. “Anyone could see ya like that!”

“Mammon… everyone already has seen me in this? And you’re all here anyway.” She shrugged. “In the human realm there’s an easter tradition where a rabbit brings chocolate eggs to kids. I know you’re not kids, but it seemed like fun. I organised an egg hunt and everything!”

“Did you say chocolate?”

“Yes Beel, chocolate eggs. The ones for the egg hunt aren’t, because it would give you an unfair advantage, but the prizes are chocolate eggs.” She laughed, pointing to the small pile of baskets behind her. “No touching until we’re done.”

Beel pouted a little, but stared determinedly at the baskets. Levi frowned beside him.

“So, this is a game? Are there clues?” His eyes flashed with interest, games he could do.

“Not really, I can give you some if you’re stuck though!” Kore laughed. “So, I hid 60 eggs, with Barbatos’ help so he’s going to stay here and keep me company guarding the prize baskets. He isn’t allowed to tell anyone where they are, including you Dia, and you agreed to not ask him.” Diavolo nodded. “So, the rules are; no magic,” she nodded towards Solomon and Lucifer, “no stealing from other people, if they found the egg it’s theirs,” a few sideways glances towards Mammon, “and no fighting. Everyone got that?”

There were assorted nods and murmurs of acceptance from the gathered Demons and Angels.

“Don’t look so pouty Luci, you don’t have to join in if you don’t want to. You can still have a basket of chocolates.”

Lucifer huffed. “Of course I’m taking part. But you neglected to tell us where the eggs had been hidden, unless you mean for us to search the whole Devildom?”

Kore blushed and shook her head. “Sorry! They’re in RAD, the Castle and their grounds. I would have hidden them in the House of Lamentation and Purgatory Hall but I didn’t get time between classes and Barb had duties to fulfill.”

“Then can we begin?”

She nodded at Lucifer. “The inaugural Devildom Easter Egg Hunt is go! Good Luck!”

Kore leaned back against the table, watching with amusement as the group scattered, most heading for the door to scour the school. Simeon and Luke stayed back, opting to look around the council room first instead. Simeon glanced down at Luke, standing on his tiptoes to try and peer over one of the taller plinths and sighed.

“Kore?”

She glanced over at the angel. “What is it Simeon?”

“Would it be permissible to work in teams for this game?” He nodded towards Luke, expression fond as ever.

“Of course Simeon! It’s not really as serious as all that, I only put the rules in place so no one spoiled the fun by magicking all the eggs to them or getting into a fight. It’s just for fun.” She giggled, patting one of the prize baskets. “Besides, I’d put money on Beel and Belphie already teaming up. Even if it’s just from Belphie’s laziness.”

As if on queue a shout echoed through the room from the corridor. “Oi! Ya not allowed to work together like that!”

“Kore never said working together was against the rules!”

“Mammon, let them be. Belphie isn’t likely to be much help when Beel is carrying him.”

Kore burst into laughter, shaking her head at their antics. “Well, I would wish you luck again Simeon, but I don’t think you’re in the most need of it.”

He chuckled in response, heading over to the younger angel to guide him out of the room. “Indeed, come on Luke. See you later Kore.”

She nodded, in response, leaning back and listening to the echoing voices through the halls as Barbatos came to sit beside her, letting her lean her shoulder against his.

That was how they found them two hours later, when all of the eggs had been collected and the hunters returned to the room, Kore tucked against Barbatos’ side giggling at something he’d told her while his arm rested around her waist.

“Ah, I’m glad to see you weren’t too bored while we were searching for eggs!” Diavolo boomed, chuckling at the sight before them.

Kore flushed bright pink, head shooting up to stare at the gathered group with wide eyes. Her gaze shifted quickly over Mammon and Levi, smiling softly at them to try and ease the tension from them. There would likely be time for a discussion later, but she was pleased to see neither jumped to chase Barbatos away from her, polyamory was hardest for the two of them but they were growing, learning.

“You should know already that Barbatos is excellent company.” She chuckled, shaking her head. “Go on then, how many eggs have you all collected?”

They handed over their eggs, letting Kore note down how many each had carefully before the next person handed theirs over. She paused half way through, looking at the ones Beel and Belphie handed over with a small frown.

“Um, Beel, why is this one half of an egg?” She asked, holding the slightly mangled object in her palm.

Beel rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to meet her gaze. “I, um, forgot you said they weren’t chocolate and I got hungry.”

“It was lucky he didn’t swallow it whole.” Belphie grumbled.

Kore giggled and nodding, noting down their score.

Once all the eggs were counted Kore jumped from the table ready to announce the scores.

“Alright gentlemen, the scores for the inaugural Devildom Easter Egg hunt are in! I’ll be going in ascending order of score, last place to first okay?” There were a few nods. “Okay, last place with two eggs is Asmo,”

“I knew I shouldn’t have stopped to fix my hair.”

“6th place is Solomon with three eggs, not bad, joint 5th place are Satan and the team of Simeon and Luke with five eggs each,”

“Well done Luke, you found most of those for us! I’d have been last without your help.”

“Damn, if Lucifer hadn’t beaten me up that tree using his stupid wings…”

Kore paused. “Wait, you climbed a tree Satan?!”

“Don’t worry Kore, I have it all on video. I may not have found many eggs, but I did capture most of the best moments on camera. Satan was very cat-like.”

“Thank you Solomon, I’ll be getting all of those from you later.” She grinned, looking back to the list. Okay, so 4th place is Lucifer with seven eggs. Then in joint 3rd place we have Mammon and Diavolo with eight eggs each, congratulations both of you,”

“I guess third place ain’t too bad. At least I beat Lucifer.”

“Oh excellent! I think that was very good for my first Easter Egg Hunt, don’t you?”

“Yes Dia, that’s a very respectable score. In 2nd place with ten eggs is Levi,”

“Damn, I guess it’s not bad for a game that involved physical activity…”

“Which means in 1st place is the team of Beel and Belphie with twelve eggs. Congratulations you two.”

“It was pretty much all Beel.” Belphie yawned. “As soon as he knew there was food on the line I mostly just napped.”

“Honestly I’d have been very impressed if anyone beat Beel in a competition that involved winning something edible.” Solomon chuckled.

“Alright, so Beel, Belphie, you get first choice of the Easter baskets.” Kore smiled, gesturing towards the table behind her.

“Are they not all the same then?”

“No Luke, they’re all the same value but the contents differ slightly. Different shops and types of chocolate. Some just have big eggs, there’s a couple with lots of small things, some are a mix of everything… you know? Also Barbatos baked a couple of treats, so there’s one in each basket too.”

“You put a lot of thought into this.” Diavolo hummed. “It’s very impressive Kore.”

She rubbed the back of her neck, looking down at the floor. “Well, Barb helped a lot, and… um, I just wanted to make sure it was fun?”

“You did an excellent job on your own, I merely offered a helping hand.” Barbatos sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Do not sell yourself short Kore.”

“Ah… Thank you. Okay guys, pick your baskets.”

Beel, to the surprise of no one, picked a basket full of large eggs, Belphie went for one with small sheep shaped chocolates. Levi picked a basket with a mix, including some small pink flower shaped chocolates that looked just like ones from an episode of the anime he watched the week before. Mammon’s basket also had a mix, mostly white chocolates dusted with golden sheen. Diavolo picked a basket of large eggs, dark, white and milk with intricate decorations across their surface. Lucifer’s basket of choice was filled with the darkest chocolate, more bitter than sweet and perfect with coffee. Simeon and Luke picked matching baskets, large and small chocolates in marbled milk and white. Satan’s basket was small chocolates, full of unique flavours and combinations. The final two baskets were fairly similar, a mix of sizes and types, though Asmo’s leant more towards fruity flavours than Solomon’s. With all the baskets collected Kore grinned at them.

“Happy Easter everyone!” She paused, glancing over at Barbatos. “Oh, Barb, your basket should be in your room.”

#halo.writes #obey me #easter #female mc #kore's adventures in devildom #original female character

[writtenbybigoceans]

The Witching Hour Ch 4

Several months later and she finally finished writing the next part... 

Massive thank you to everyone who has supported this series, especially @imstuckinafictionaluniverse @shessoparticular99, and @tnhmblive. Your feedback and support on the last part really meant the world to me!

Earlier parts here.

***

Snap.

You jerk awake with a violent jolt that shakes your whole bed. Bed. Home.

You glance around the dark room, eyes searching out the familiar silhouettes of your furniture against the walls. Yes, this was definitely your room. The clock on your bedside table announces that it is 12:01am, the soft red glow of the figures spilling over your pillows.

But how did you get here? The last thing you remembered was Sylvana’s cold stare and Shawn’s hand on your lower back as he steered you from the clearing under the tree.

As soon as you strained your mind for the memory it appeared, floating to the surface of your mind like an image through murky water.

No, you had dinner with your family, watched a movie and climbed into bed a little after 11pm. Just like any other night.

What a strange dream, you muse as you settle your head back on the pillows and pull the blankets up to your chin. The only thing more impossible than a sanctuary in the narrow, scrubby drainage creek outside your house is Shawn appearing outside your window. You hadn’t heard anything from him in the week since your conversation in the truck, and that silence had been enough to convince you that his promise had been nothing but empty words.

When you woke again the sky outside the window was as white and flat as paper. The trees behind your fence-line were a stark tangle of shadows against it as they swayed ever slightly in an unfelt breeze.

Slowly, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, blinking a few times as the world rematerialized around you. Cold nipped at your feet as you walked through the house, following the same route you took every morning, the promise of coffee at the end.

“Good morning, darling girl,” your mother greets you and you don’t need to look to know she’s in her standard skirt suit, a cup clasped between her hands. “There’s coffee left in the pot.”

You grunt in affirmation and trudge towards the pot, sitting right next to the kettle. The first sip seems to touch your soul, awakening it from the lingering fogginess of slumber and you audibly groan.

“What time are you working?”

“Ten to three, just a short shift today,” you mumble, gulping down a little more of the bitter black elixir.

“Ok, well I have to go but I’ll see you when I get home. Love you,” she stands, pushing her cup towards the sink and giving you a quick peck on the head before rushing out the door, her heavy heels clopping on the hardwood floors.

Mornings like this with your mother made it almost possible to forget about the enormous chasm that had opened between you a week ago. For a moment, you could pretend that your life hadn’t been built on lies and secrets.

The thought nearly made you tear up, but you swallowed the burning lump in your throat with the last of your coffee and shoved the mug towards the sink. You needed to get ready.

 Something is wrong. You don’t know what, but something is. Ringing up and bagging people’s groceries isn’t exactly the most exciting job but you’d never gotten bored enough to start hallucinating. So, why then did you keep catching glimpses of impossible things out of the corner of your eye.

The woman you’d just served had completely normal ears when you’d handed her receipt to her, so why did your eyes think they were pointed when she walked away? And there’s absolutely nothing strange about the man in the line for the checkout opposite yours now you’re looking again, but for a second you’d sworn there was something distinctly wolf-ish about his yellow eyes.

This supermarket was closer to the west of town than your home or school, so perhaps there were more Mythics who shopped here. But to only notice them all today? No, that was odd.

You give yourself a mental shake. The dream last night had set you on edge, that’s all. Your mind has to be playing tricks on you.

The thought does little to soothe you.

You finish your shift and feel as though you can finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing you would be leaving the strangeness behind. As you exit the store though, you feel an inexplicable push to turn right, in the opposite direction of your house. It was so deep and internal you almost felt as if you’d conjured it yourself. Somehow you just knew you needed to go that way.

Without giving it another thought you turned left and began walking home. You only made it a few streets before you found yourself on a side road walking west, following that almost intangible tug.

Almost impossibly quickly the unfamiliar surroundings morphed into house and streets you vaguely remembered travelling down. You take a right turn, still following the internal navigation, and at the end of the street spotted a very familiar truck parked on the curb. You come to a stop.

How had you known how to find this house? Good as your memory was, it wasn’t good enough to remember the whole route across town when you’d only followed it in daylight once before.

The street was dead silent and still as a graveyard, despite the warm day and brilliant sunshine that bathed the overgrown front yards. An old children’s bike lay discarded in the yard of the house closest to you, and as you scanned it for whoever had dumped it, you realised that all of the blinds were pulled.

It was the same for all of the houses around you; it was as if all of them were empty. Not even a breeze dared stir the hair on the back of your neck. A cold dread crept up your spin, raising goosebumps on your skin. You begin walking, hurrying towards Shawn’s house as fast as your legs could carry you. You race across their lawn and up their stairs and just as you raise your fist to knock on the door a screech of tires pierced the still afternoon air.

A series of black and white vans wheel around the corner at the opposite end of the street at an alarming speed. You reel back a step in shock and nearly trip over your own foot until a hand closes around your bicep and yanks you roughly backwards, sending you sprawling through the doorway. You slam into something hard and an arm comes around your shoulders to steady you. You shove out against it, kicking your legs and squirming hard until someone hisses in your ear,

“Be quiet, for fuck's sake.”

Startled, you twist your neck to meet Roman’s eyes, cold and sharp as chips of ice. His nostrils are flaring as he breathes hard, and his jaw is clenched so hard he looks like he might be about to break a tooth.

“Give her to me, I’ll hide her quickly.” Roman shoves you away, towards the voice that just spoke. Shawn takes your wrist and pushes you gently in the direction of the stairs and down the hallway into his room.

Through the window you spy the vans parked down the street at angles that block the road and numerous people in black uniforms holding machine guns. Several other people in jackets with FLE splashed across their backs milled around, pointing at the houses up and down the street. A chill goes down your spine. Federal Law Enforcement only dealt with serious, big crimes. What would they be doing running a raid like this here? What had happened?

“Get away from the window before someone sees you,” Shawn hisses from behind you. You spin to find him shifting some hanging clothes at the back of his small wardrobe. “You have to hide in here until they leave and pray they don’t find you.”

“What’s going on?” you ask, shuffling into the space he’s made. He glances down at you with an expression you can’t quite read but it ties your stomach in knots.

“They’re raiding the street because there were rumours that a house of werewolves was sheltering a witch.”

“What?” you exclaim, knees buckling beneath you. Concealing an unregistered Mythic was a serious crime. “But you’re not-“

“We weren’t, until you showed up right as they were about to get here.” His jaw clenches and his eyes are fiery. “What were you thinking coming back here?”

“I-I don’t know, I don’t know why I came,” you whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Just stay hidden, don’t even breathe until they’re gone.” He lets the clothes swing back in front of you, concealing you from sight, and closes the wardrobe door. You here his footsteps pad lightly away before a tremendous bang rings through the house.

“Federal Law Enforcement, open up!” a woman’s voice barks. You think you hear the door open and some lower voices conversing before footsteps echo through the lower floor.

“We have information that an unregistered and dangerous witch is being concealed on these premises,” the woman’s voice speaks says faintly.

“Well, your information is incorrect then. Why would we be hiding a witch?” spits Roman, disdain evident in his tone.

“We will be conducting a search of the premises with dogs in order to ensure that the information is indeed incorrect,” she replies coolly. You shrink back against the wall, cursing silently. Dogs would sniff you out in a moment, you were as good as caught. Despair swamps you. What would happen to Shawn because of your stupidity? What would happen to the others?

People caught concealing unregistered Mythics could be imprisoned. It would be all your fault. You let out a shaky breath as heavy footsteps clunk up the stairs, each one ringing through you like the beat of a war-drum. You can hear the more rapid patter of paws on the hardwood and the heavy sniffing of a dog drawing closer.

Something in your pocket suddenly grows warm, radiating through your pants. You couldn’t remember having anything in there but you shove your hand into your pocket and close your fist around the smooth, oblong shapes. You couldn’t see them in the dark but you ran your thumb over the surfaces and a sudden memory swims to the front of your mind.

The image of the sprite from your dream flickers to the front of your mind as her voice echoes in your ear.  

“These leaves, should you eat them, will give you unimaginable power and knowledge for a short time. Have your wolf bring you back here in one week and if you have all of them intact, I will consider helping you.”

Unimaginable powers might be able to convince the dog you weren’t here, and have the troops leaving immediately. Without hesitating for a second more you bite down on the leaves, swallowing them after only a few chews.

It takes only a few seconds before you feel the change, like something deep and slumbering you had never noticed within you awakening. You could sense the people in the house, the wolves and the people, and just outside the door, the dog and its handler.

You stretch out a mental hand, breathing every ounce of energy you had in you into it. Go away, there’s nothing hidden here, you urge it. There’s no one to find here, you’ve checked. The information was incorrect. There’s no one here.

The dog’s heavy breathing reaches right up to the crack of the door and pauses, and you throw all of your concentration into repeating those words, throwing them out to the dog and the person. For a heart-stopping moment nothing happens, then the footsteps retreat. They pass through the rest of the house and then stomp down the stairs.

“There’s no one here, the information was incorrect,” the handler’s voice reports somewhat dazedly.

“You’re sure?” barks the woman.

“We’ve checked, there’s nothing hidden here,” he tells her, echoing your exact words. You throw your mind out to her, feeling her hesitation.

They must know, they checked. We were wrong, we must leave. You whisper the thoughts into her mind in her own harsh voice.

“Very well, we’re done here.” The front door slams behind them and you hear a barked order to the people on the street to move out. The relief that crashes over you is so massive that your knees actually give out and you slump back against the wall.

They were safe, everyone is safe.

Snap.

***

Thoughts? Feelings? Feedback? let me know what you thought!

#werewolf!shawn #witch!reader #shawn mendes fanfic #fanfic #writing #shawn mendes #the witching hour #shawn mendes writing

[upinthestarsx3]

Aromantic (m)

Genre: Jaehyun x reader|one shot|mostly angst|smut|fluff (but not much)

Word count: 2.7

Warnings: Very mature language, mature content, the depiction of an aromantic may or may not be exaggerated- but remember, just fiction.

a/n: finally my first nct related one shot. Okay so, I actually wrote this for another idol but I thought it would fit him more. It was only posted for like 5 hours, but if it looks familiar- that’s why haha. So much fun to write. Enjoy!

Morning kisses, good sex, cuddles, and secrets; everything you craved and received from Jaehyun. But he refused to offer the one thing you wanted most- his love. Morning after morning, you’d whine like a child when he’d unwrap his limbs from yours to head to the bathroom; and today was no different.

“You have to leave? Now?” You ask in a small voice. Your eyes glued to his naked frame that he never bothered to cover up,

“Yeah.” He replied in a nonchalant manner, turning his back and adding,

“I have work-“

“You don’t have work until 3pm, Jaehyun. It’s 7am! Can’t you stay for a while?” You plead, pathetically. How many times does one guy have to reject you before you get the hint?

“No, y/n, I can’t. I also told Mark I would meet him, he needs help with a research paper.”

“..but you’re not even good at school papers.” You respond, sounding like a stubborn brat once again, but he just rolls his eyes and ignores the insult.

You pick at your nails while he washes up, listening to how he rants about needing to go home and get ready because he never brings fresh clothes to change into.

When he emerges from the bathroom you take a deep breath and tell him, “You can keep things here if you’d like.”

He looks up at you with a confused face, he opens his mouth to speak and quickly closes it; you give a little smile at his flustered appearance but then he frowns,

“Why would I leave things here?” There it is, the feeling of your heart breaking, just a little.. once again.

“Well, you’re here all the time, so I figured.. I don’t know. I’m sorry, that was stupid to suggest.” You shyly apologize, ashamed you even suggested the idea in the first place.

“I-it’s not stupid, it’s just-“ he rubs the back of his neck and looks away from you.

“It’s just what?” You question, placing a hand on your trembling leg, something it did in all anxiety inducing situations,

“It’s just that I don’t want you to forget that this is supposed to be casual.” He finally blurts out, motioning between the two of you.

It takes all of your strength to hold back tears and nod your head,

“Of course! No worries- I was just trying to help out.”

He offers a small smile,

“Great. I’ll see you later? Don’t forget we are all meeting at the club at 11pm, I’ll see you then.” He walks over and gives you a light kiss on the lips, before leaving you alone.

Work dragged as usual, your thoughts occupied as you scanned the grocery items for customers who never even bothered saying hello.

“Oh my god, y/n! Are you even listening to my crisis?” You jump a bit, glancing over to the owner of the high pitched voice, before handing change to the last customer and telling her to have a good day.

“Do you always have to be so rude when customers are around?” You belt, rolling your eyes and walking to the door to lock it shut.

“I’m sorry! I’m just excited for tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve been out. We’ve all been so busy with work and school.”

“You go out every weekend, Suzy.” You trail off rudely, scrolling through your phone and dismissing her as you look through notifications to see if Jaehyun called or texted; which he hasn’t. Letting out a deep breath you speak up again,

“It’s already 10pm, lets go change and pregame before we meet up with everyone.”

***

You were drunk before you even got to the club, walking in with a stumbling Suzy as you tried to find the friends you were meeting with. Mark is the first to greet the two of you, taking Suzy’s hand from yours and helping her into the booth and then sitting right beside her. Love birds.

Jaehyun spots you and gives a small smirk with a wave, and you flash a smile so wide, you were sure he had gotten a peek of your molars.

“Come here.” He says over the loud music, and you listen, as usual.

You walk over to take the seat next to him, but he grabs your hips and places you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

“How was work?” He questioned,

“It was a super long day, but I’m glad I’m finally free. I’m off until Monday, are you free? You can stay at my place for the weekend.”

“Y-yeah we can do that.” He breathes, letting his hands run up and down your thighs. Sighing in content you allow your body to lean into his, turning your head slightly to give him a kiss.

“I missed you,” you say with a cheesy smile. Although you know he must have heard you, he lets out a breath and playfully rolls his eyes,

“We were together this morning, y/n. You’re just drunk.” He laughs it off, holding you tighter against him as he leaves soft kisses below your ear,

“Yeah, I know,” you trail off, “but I always miss you. I always want to be with you.” You drunkenly admit, earning a shady look from him.

“Stop talking like that.” He asserts. You quickly shut your mouth and cast your eyes downwards. Even in you drunk state, you’re aware of the happy couples that surround you, and the content singles who came here with friends. Their happiness leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, or perhaps it was the one too many shots that were trying to find its way out of your system.

“I’m going to be sick.” You cry to Jaehyun. He quickly springs into action and brings you into the single stall bathroom, placing you near the toilet.

“Give me your hair tie,” He huffs, taking it from your wrist and placing your hair into the worlds messiest bun.

“Thank you, JJ.” You laugh with tears in your eyes. You’ve always been an emotional drunk and Jaehyun was still in the process of getting used to that.

“Ugh, stop calling me that. I hate that fucking nickname.” He deadpans, “And didn’t I tell you to stop drinking this much? It’s almost like you enjoy hangovers.” He continues to reprimand, walking to the other side of the toilet to sit against the wall.

“Just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean I should suffer with you. Those are boyfriend privileges.” He doesn’t say anything afterwards, but he doesn’t leave you there. Once you’re done he helps you up and washes your face with warm water.

“Here you go,” he blurts, handing you a little bottle of mouth wash, “You always get a little too drunk- which is something you’ll definitely have to work on, but in the meanwhile I figured I would bring this on our outings.” He laughs loudly, lightening up the mood as he usually did. Sure it didn’t seem like a big deal, it was even a little silly; but more than anything, it was thoughtful.

You left without as much as a goodbye to everyone else, knowing you’d have to apologize to Suzy in the morning. You sat in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car as he took you on a drive, something he always did when you didn’t feel like going home right away.

“My head is starting to feel better already.” You whisper, trying hard not to jinx yourself,

“Good.” He replies, eyes glued to the road; one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gearshift. You take a glance at the side of his face and peel his hand away from the gearshift to hold it in yours. You feel him stiffen and slowly try to pry his hand from yours,

“Please. Just- just let me do this, only this once, okay?” You plead. He lets out a quiet sigh and leaves his hand to rest in yours. Pathetic? Sure. But you were in love, and you’d do anything for that feeling to be reciprocated, even if he didn’t really mean it, even if he was incapable of feeling it.

***

You wake up to the feeling of your head thumping, and you instantly begin to start whining,

“Oh my go-“

“Stop complaining, here’s your water and some advil.”

“Jaehyun?” You wonder in an incredulous tone.

“I promised you I would stay, didn’t I? You fell asleep on the drive here and have been sleeping ever since. It’s already noon.” He tries to remind you, eating the dinner you left for yourself from yesterday.

As promised, the two of you watch movies and talk for hours. He talks about his estranged parents, and you talk about your struggle with finding a good balance between work, school and life. Conversation came so easy between the two you, kind of like how you would imagine conversations between two lovers. You wondered how he could hold you at night, and wake up in the morning as though it didn’t happen. How he could tell you he loves you, only to backtrack and say he only meant in a friendly way. How he could continue to sleep with you, knowing you were giving him all of you, only to receive less than half of him in return.

“Y/n?” He speaks up, squinting at where you stood, frozen in thought by your window.

“Yeah, Jae?” You answer, walking towards him with a lazy smirk as all of the thoughts that occupied your mind scurry away at the sight of his pearly white smile.

He doesn’t answer you, though. He just sits at the edge of your bed and pulls your standing frame closer to him, so you’re standing between his legs. The two of you stay quiet for a moment, your fingers get lost in his hair and he continues to rest his head on your hip.

You jump when you feel his smooth palms rub the back of your thighs. His hands continue to travel up until he reaches the curve of your ass, his hands squeezing at it roughly causing you to moan and tug at his hair. You hear him hiss and he looks up at you with hazy eyes, tugging your shorts down just a little to reveal your hips. You shut your eyes tight when you feel his hot mouth suck at your skin. He knew your body like no other.

You let out a low moan when you feel a hand slide between your legs while the other stays groping you from behind.

“Can I take this off?” He looks up at you, motioning to your shorts, and you quickly nod yes in excitement. He pulls them down and removes your panties soon after. You feel his slender fingers sneak to your pussy as he feels his way through an area he is already so familiar with.

You legs continue to give out at the feeling of him rubbing your clit while listening to him whisper about how much he adored your body. Suddenly he drops to his knees in front of you. You clench around his fingers each time you feel his breath hit your heat.

“Look at me.” He demands,

When the two of you make eye contact he trails wet kisses down to your cunt. You feel him poke his tongue between your second lips, prompting a loud moan from you. He slides his body the rest of the way down and lies on his back, pulling you by your legs and positioning you so that your pussy is hovering over his face.

It feels as though an eternity passes as the two of you just wait in silence, your hips gyrating on their own as you try to run yourself on his face; finally he gives in. He wraps his arms around your thighs and spreads you open for access, giving quick kitten licks to your clit and you grunt, “M-more, Jae. Please more.”

He pulls you down so you’re sitting directly on his face, you begin instinctively circling your hips and moaning loudly as he kneads your body. You can feel your stomach tighten when he wraps his lips around your clit.

The sound of him slurping your juices as you cum, only encourages you to keep going.

“Let me ride you.” You breathe. He looks taken back but he doesn’t stop you when you begin pulling down his jeans along with his boxers. You wrap your hand around his cock and lazy begin to move it up and down.

“Come on, babygirl,” He teased, placing his hand over yours, forcing you to jerk his cock at a faster pace; only letting go once you’re keeping up with his preferred speed.

“F-fuck, okay, stop stop stop.” He moans, grabbing your hand to remove it from his manhood.

You climb over him and quickly lean down to kiss him, allowing him to bring two palms to your breasts as he plays with your nipples. Soon enough, sinking onto his dick.

“You take me so well, baby.” He gushed with red cheeks. He kept steady hands on your hips as you continued to ride him; you staring into his eyes, as he stared into yours. But the look in his eyes was not one of love- not like yours at least, it was lust. Your thoughts are interrupted by,

“I’m s-so close.” He stammers from beneath you. He pulls you down with him, wrapping his arms tight around your body and allowing you to wrap yours around his neck. Without warning he begins snapping his hips to yours, creating a disturbing sound in the room; one that is drowned out by heavy breathing and worldly moans.

It takes a few minutes before the two of you are able to talk again. Usually that meant you were trying to soak in the moment; since sex was the only way for you to be as close to him as you wanted. For Jaehyun, that meant figuring out a way to leave without making you upset.

“I- um... I have to go.” He mumbles, standing up and walking to the bathroom to grab the both of you a towel,

“What? You’re off today, I know you’re off, we talked about this yesterday.”

“Just because I’m off doesn’t mean I don’t have other things to do..” He trails off, avoiding your eyes; refusing to see that same sorry look in them.

“Please-“

“Don’t beg.”

“Sorry-“

“Y/n,” he takes a deep breath, “I think we clearly have two different views on what this is.” Pointing between you and him.

You tried your best to keep your tears at bay- but even your best try wasn’t good enough as you began to sob, “Why did you make me fall in love with you just to break my heart?”

“That wasn’t my intention. It’s just- I warned you. I told you that I am not the relationship type.”

“Literally every guy says that, Jaehyun.”

“Yeah, but I meant it. I wish I could feel differently because any guy would kill to be loved by a woman as great as you; but that guy just isn’t me, y/n.” He finally looks up at you, guilt weighing on him heavily and you can see the sadness in his eyes. Was it you that had been selfish all this time?

You walk up to him and playfully grab the towel from his hands that he failed to give you before your unwanted heart to heart.

“Are you giving me one of those ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ talks?” You joke to lighten the mood, though it did nothing to ease to pain you felt.

“Is it working?”

You look up at him and shake your head no, blinking away nuisance tears.

“One more night.” You announce.

“Huh?”

“Stay one more night; and let’s act like nothing has ever changed. In the morning, we can talk about where we stand, okay?”

He seems to be gathering his thoughts together as he stands there silently,

“Okay. One more night.”

You’d tend to your heartbreak in the morning, and use this night to love a man, who would never be able to love you the way you wanted him to. Why? Because you would rather have him fake it, than not have him at all.

a/n: I’ll be posting chapter 7 of Off Limits on Sunday and a Jin scenario tomorrow night. Requests are opened. You can find my masterlist here ❤️

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #wayv #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct yoonoh #jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #yoonoh #jaehyun imagines #I love writing sad stuff #nct writers #nct writings #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun angst

[piperemerald]

An Hour To Midnight

Fandom: Promised Neverland

Pairing: Norray

Coffee Shop / College AU

Summary: In which Ray works the closing shift at the Starbucks on his college campus and does not understand why Norman continues to walk through the doors at 11pm, order a tea, and sit at the counter until the cafe is closed.

AO3

“He’s back again.” Emma didn’t even meet Ray’s eyes as she stage whispered and subtly gestured to the doorway. Ray resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her. Apparently his usual amount of sarcasm was bad for business. Not that he thought their only customers in the past hour would care.

“Of course he’s back,” Ray replied instead. He made a point of keeping his tone as dry as possible, even though he was well aware any attempts to mask his emotions were rendered useless on the girl who had known him since they were both five.

It was his turn to man the cash wrap while Emma made the drinks and warmed up the food. They divided their shift, even though there was really no point. There was no point in the Starbucks being open two hours later than the dining hall and campus store. The 11pm rush that the university seemed positive they would receive was nonexistent.

At best, it was empty and Ray could spend the last two hours of work balancing a book on the register and testing Emma on psychology terms. At worst, they had one customer.

“Grande green tea and a strawberry scone?” Ray asked the closing shift’s only regular.

“Am I that predictable?” The boy chuckled. “Yes, thanks.”

Ray rang him up, knowing that Emma had already started the drink when he walked through the doors. This was the third night this week that he’d wandered in, each time he would end up sitting at the counter until closing. The last two instances, he’d made conversation with them. Ray had several theories as to why anyone would want to spend their night sitting in a cafe instead of sleeping, or studying, or doing anything else with their time.

The wildest one was that he was a vampire, the most likely one was Emma.

This would not have been the first time he’d watched some poor idiot fall for her, only to later realize that she was that friendly and bubbly to everyone. They weren’t special. A majority of the time, Emma was oblivious to this. In the case of the boy with the blond hair so light it was practically white and a seeming lack of a sleep schedule, Emma was completely convinced Ray was over exaggerating.

She was, however, fully in support of the vampire theory—which was apparently far more feasible than a handsome man being attracted to her.

She thought Ray was teasing her, when really he was being serious. He was also counting the days it took this kid to summon the courage to ask for her number. It seemed tonight wouldn’t be the night.

When Emma placed his drink and pastry in front of him, he only gave her a quick smile before his eyes went back to the phone in his hand. Ray was a little bit disappointed. As much as he knew it would be at this boy’s expense, he really wanted to have his ‘I told you so’ moment. Knowing that they likely wouldn’t get any more customers for the next hour, Ray turned his attention back to the book that he’d tucked into his apron when the door opened.

He was behind on the assigned reading, something that had never happened to him before in his life. It wasn’t even that Ray didn’t enjoy his classes, he did, but he often felt like there wasn’t enough hours in the day to do everything that was expected of him. He thought he’d known what he was getting himself into, after all back when he was signing up for classes the idea of finishing a book every week hadn’t seemed so insane.

It was different when he had time to take in each detail, to let his imagination enjoy the story. It was also different when he wasn’t trying to make excuses for the dyslexia that he knew slowed his reading pace to about half of all of his classmates, making it feel like there was no point that his comprehension was far higher and his analysis leagues better than any of them.

In high school he would buy the audiobooks to listen along with, because hearing someone else’s voice usually stopped the words on the page from swimming. But right now he couldn’t afford to shell out thirty bucks for every assignment.

“Could I get another one?” A smooth voice cut through Ray’s thoughts. He glances up to see the boy gesturing to the plate when the scone had once been. “It’s $3.75, right?”

Ray nodded. Emma was in the backroom, probably checking her phone but it wasn’t like he cared enough to chide her for that. They were both only working here because they had to—because they couldn’t afford their cramped dorm room without it. So he let the fact that she had left her post slide and warmed up the scone instead, placing it on the table and accepting the boy’s exact change.

“Thanks,” the boy was smiling again. There was something behind that smile—something incredibly exhausted, and drained, and all too familiar.

“No problem,” Ray said back.

Maybe if he’d just called Emma, maybe if he hadn’t spent a moment longer than needed looking into those soft blue eyes, nothing would have happened. But he did. And from there he was doomed.

“He’s kinda cute,” Ray said once the cafe was closed and the boy was gone.

Emma lifted her gaze from the deposit she was supposed to be counting to give him an odd look.

“What?” Ray felt like she was analyzing him. “I’m allowed to think stuff like that.”

“I never said you weren’t,” she laughed now. “You just usually don’t say it when you do.”

She had a point. Ray had come out to her back when they were eleven, he’d known he was gay since he was ten, but they rarely actually talked about boys. He blamed that on the fact that their lives were too busy to stop and have a romantic interest in anyone. He’d never really felt like he was missing out on much, anyway. Having a crazy best friend that he knew him better than he knew himself had always felt like more than he thought he deserved.

“You should ask him out,” Emma decided.

Ray snorted.

“I don’t even know his name,” he reminded her. There had never been any reason to ask it, since he was always the only one in the Starbucks Ray had never felt the need to write a name on the cup.

“Then ask him,” Emma pushed.

“I just said he’d kinda cute,” Ray gave her a deadpan expression. “Not that I’m head over heels after handing him a scone.”

“Whatever,” Emma rolled her eyes. “He is kinda cute.”

“Yeah,” Ray mumbled. “He is.”

The next night Emma wasn’t feeling well, but since none of their coworkers volunteered to cover for her she ended up staying for the first hour of the shift. It took that long for Ray to convince her to just go back to the room and that he could handle everything alone. Begrudgingly, she agreed and he was left alone with the book he still hadn’t finished.

Part of him almost regretted making her leave, since it was so much easier to keep himself together when she was with him and joking around. When he was alone, all of his fears felt a little bit bigger and the stress that might have been solved with a bit of sleep and a pep talk seemed impossible to defeat. It was while Ray was wallowing in this state of self pity that the door open.

He honestly wasn’t in the mood for this.

“Emma’s not here today,” he stated as the boy walked up to the register.

“I can see that,” the boy raised an eyebrow. “Can I get the usual?”

Ray mutely wrote on the cup and left the register to put the scone in the oven. He could feel the boy’s eyes on him as he did so, it made him feel like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“For here or to go?” He asked.

“For here,” the boy smiled at him again.

Ray didn’t say anything else. He took the money, gave him the change, and put the scone on a plate. It would probably take a few minutes at best for the awkward Emma-less silence to make this guy leave. Then Ray could finally focus.

“You were reading that last time too,” the boy spoke up. Ray only turned his head to give him a withering glare in response. “It’s good, isn’t it?”

“You’ve read it?” Ray asked back.

“Last year,” the boy nodded. “Intro to English, yeah? It was the first book they assigned.”

“It’s still the first book,” Ray said dryly. He let the blond boy connect the dots.

“It’s kinda dull,” he tried to sympathize.

“That’s not true,” Ray said back. “I’m just a slow reader and have a million other things people are expecting me to do, okay? It’s not because I don’t like it, or because I’m lazy, or because I don’t care. I’m so fucking tired of all of this!”

His voice rang out in the tiny cafe. He was dead. There was no way in hell this kid wasn’t going to tell the manager about Ray screaming at him. Then there went the job that was supposed to help him support himself. There went being able to afford his dorm and the lunches his meal plan didn’t cover. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he was in over his head and should just—

“Give it to me,” the boy held out his hand.

“What—”

“Give me the book,” his voice was sterner now but his expression was neutral. It was funny that, even though he was the one who had filled the small place with shouting, Ray was the one who was doing everything he could not to flinch. He handed the used paperback over.

Calmly—and far too composed for someone who had just had a mental breakdown that he’d done nothing to influence directed at him—the boy opened to the page Ray had dog tailed. He started reading out loud.

“You don’t—”

“It’s faster this way,” the boy stated. “That solves the problem, right?”

Ray didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know how to react to the knowing, almost arrogant, eyes looking back at him, or the cool collected smile. He didn’t know why this stranger wanted to help him.

“Right,” he uttered.

“Good,” the boy directed his eyes back to the page. He started reading again.

It took until the end of the shift for them to finish the book that Ray had been assigned a week ago. He already knew what he would write his essay on. He already had a list of messages and conclusions he could pull out of the story that had just been read to him.

“Thank you,” Ray knew the words couldn’t fully encompass how unbelievably grateful he felt.

“I didn’t have anything else to do,” the boy shrugged.

Ray knew what he had to ask now was going to make him sound like a complete ass: “What’s your name?”

Instead of seeming offended, the boy let out a chuckle. His laugh sounded like water—flowing gently, but with a sort of up-and-down rhythm to it. Ray wasn’t sure he’d heard anything more beautiful in his life.

“Norman,” the boy stated. “And I already know you’re Ray.”

“Name tags are fun like that,” Ray said dryly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Norman smiled at him one last time before leaving.

Ray found himself standing there, rooted to the spot and staring, long after Norman was gone.

#norray #tpn #tpn fic #promised neverland #promised neverland fic #tpn norman #tpn ray #norman x ray #ray x norman

[secretsideofme95]

This Is My Story!

So, I’m just going to get all this out, I did something similar on new years, i sat down with someone and just spilled everything. I talked and talked and talked i just told everything, things ive never told anyone. But now i’m gonna get it all out, so here it is. My story.

I have never done anything like this so i am not quite sure how to do this but here we go.

Like many others growing up in primary school and secondary school i was bullied. I grew up with a lisp, i struggled with saying S and any words with it in. I had people older then me making fun of it i even had a teacher trying to convince me it was my fault and i just couldn't speak properly. At first i didn't understand why i was being asked to say words with S in it, but quickly i found out. it ended up making me so self conscious i got shy and quiet and just hid away and kept to myself. This was going on from like year 4 when i was 6/7 (i think i cant remember) Truth is from my childhood i dont remember anything good, i have no memories of anytime playing with friends going out having fun even just playing, only things i remember from my past at this time is just bullying.

In secondary school i remember again getting made fun of for my lisp, but also told i was ugly and that no one would wanna be with me. i had all these people making fun of me, i didn't fit in any of the groups i didn't even want to, i thought all this group stuff was stupid, so even just coz i wasn't part of the popular kids or the cool kids that ment bully me. people found anything to make fun of. i started self harming around 13. In school both primary and secondary i never really had friends so never had any after school activities, never went round someones house, i never went out with friends, i just went home. which i lived in a flat with my mum, a one bedroom flat. The council wouldn't move us despite my age, i had the bedroom my mum had the front room as her room. but ofcorse people still made fun of that coz we couldn't afford a house like they could.

Home, You would think that would be better but not really, i was a only child so i was on my own again, while at home i would do whatever i could to pass the time, i watched allot of movies, this is where i got into games, was a getaway, i could be someone else, i could pretend to be anyone. pretend i wasn't alone. so yes my mum was there, in a sense anyway. she would work all day and had an iron deficiency, so she would work all day, volunteering in a charity shop (another thing people made fun of me for) she would come home and just go to sleep, that was it she would go to work then go to sleep. I learnt to take care of myself, cook for myself. I became independent and i grew up i was basically living on my own at the age of 15. 

When i was 18, at college, there was this one particular day, one day that stuck with me, i came back home from college, and there was a padlock on the door and an eviction notice, the council had kicked us out. all i had was the stuff for college that day and that was it. my mum went and stayed with her boyfriend, i had to find somewhere to stay, with no close friends and no other family was harder then you'd think. luckily i found someone who i knew who let me stay a few days, it grew us closer together she ended up becoming one of my best friends, which was good coz i was homeless and for the next 7 months was the hardest time of my life, so many times i wanted to give up and end it, so many times i just couldn't carry on, i had not much of my stuff, i had no privacy, no room for myself, i had to revolve my life around everyone else, whoever’s i was staying at. for 7 months i was at college Monday to Friday all day 9am till 5pm then Tuesday till Sunday from 6pm until 11pm i had work. then then same every day. it was so hard all the stress, having to find somewhere new to stay every few days. worrying about money about college work. about normal work. about what if the day comes i wont be able to find somewhere to stay.

I wish i could say it ends there but it dosnt. since then to this day i have been homeless (well sofa surfing) 3 times. every time getting worse and worse. This really is not helping my mental health at all.

So this is not everything tho, around the time i was 18 i was dating this girl, She was blond, so beautiful, she was such an incredible girl she was perfect and i loved her. after 3 years we broke up, i still loved her, i was 18 i was stupid and acted before i though, we had got into an argument after we had broke up, started on twitter actually. Allot was said between both of us, but she was suffering from bad mental health aswell as i was, i said some nasty stuff we both did, but i tipped her over the edge, shes told me after this happened that it wasn't my fault, she was already at the point i just pushed it that tiny bit over, but she tried to commit suicide like 4 times, everything got too much for her, i didn't know about this, not until i went back to college and i saw her one day, i saw the bandages, i saw the marks, i saw what i had done to her, people have said it wasn't me shes said it wasn't my fault, but i cant help feeling guilty, i cant help thinking what if i hadn't got in that argument what if i reacted differently, it wasn't my fault yet i feel guilty to this day, 6 years later this still lays heavy on my conscience, seeing what it had done too her, i couldn't take it. This is what has made me so bad, what has turned me into this, this is what made me become this.

i have learnt from this, i think before i speak, im terrified of confrontation, im terrified of arguments, i cant walk away i cant leave people when they are upset or angry, even if i get in an argument, i cave in, i give in and i usually give them whatever they want, i dont want this happen again so i do what i have to to stop the argument even if its not what i want, even if it hurts. i cant go through that again, it would kill me and destroy me more then it already has.

This is why i dont think i deserve to be happy, what i did to her, what happened, im getting what i deserve. 

Every relationship ive had literally all of them except for this blond (including the ones before her) have all cheated on me, they have all used me, all played me. for one reason or another, i always get hurt. i pour my soul in, i give everything i can put in all effort and do whatever i can for them to make them happy, to give them what they want, and each one just takes me for grated and takes more, and more of me, slowly they are taking everything and soon there is going to be nothing left.

My family,  that dosnt exist, none of them talk to me, wanna know me, they dont even know anything about me, nothing happened just slowly they all stopped talking to me, now even if i try messaging them not a single one will reply, even when i was in the hospital for my operation. no one cared to even ask why. when i need help most, not a single one cared.

my friends, i barley have any anymore, those that i do dont live close to me. all my friends i had i lost, my 2 best friends were married (together) i was actually living with them until a month ago, until they decided to turn their back on me, give me 3 days to get my stuff and move out, they were even so nice as to give me no help, even got me fired from my job on the same day. 

my mental health gets worse and worse every day, not a day goes by i wish i was dead to be completely honest, i dont wanna live this life anymore i dont wanna live all this shit im done, but i carry on living through this shitty existence for those few people who still care. and every single day is hell fighting myself fighting my urges, being at war with yourself is the hardest battle to go through. every night i go to sleep crying, every morning i wake up wishing i hadnt. i would do anything to have a cuddle, i would do anything to just fall asleep with someone.

My love life, well thatch just non existent. in the last 4 months i had 4 dates, date 1, goes well have fun went out for a drink had a laugh blah blah blah, she said shed love to see me again soon, i was a lovely guy she really liked me. ofcorse i never heard from her again. date 2, go out for a drink to get to know each other, again goes well connected got on well im a nice guy how am i single, anyone would be lucky to have me, again, dosnt ever contact me again. date 3, so talking for ages been going round there spending time with here cuddling, then out of no where she tells me shes seeing someone after telling me she likes me but isn't ready for a relationship so might take some time for us. well that was bullshit coz she got straight into one with some other guy within a week saying she loves him. so date 4 a few weeks ago, been talking goes week meet up and yeah same story how am i single anyone will be lucky im the perfect guy shes looking for, so we arrange a date to go and have dinner together i was gonna cook for her, on the day tho she stops talking to me, dont here from her for another week, she tells me she ditched me coz she found someone. so once again same shit happens despite that she said she wouldn't and all that bullshit ... guys are not the only ones that can be dicks to people and fuck them over. i have given up completely, stopped looking, stopped feeling, stopped caring..

my sleeping is i dont even know how to explain it, i dont sleep much most nights im awake with my thoughts, i get maybe 2 hours a sleep a night if that, i just no matter how tired i am i cant fall asleep, i cant relax and switch off. im sitting here now running on no sleep for 48 hours and i cant fall asleep. so here i am writing this. when i do sleep i regularly have nightmares, bad nightmares, but ive got so used to them now, its normal to have them and dosnt even bother me anymore, used to terrify me. now i hope they are real i hope that that dream i die, is not a dream. when i sleep i feel nothing, its the closest to death ill get, its peace.

i broke my leg 3 years ago at a trampoline park, ever since then ive been in constant pain every single day, bad excruciating pain, im on strong opioid painkillers to try and control the pain, im on Tramadol, codeine and naproxen every day, and im still in pain, i cant straighten my leg, i cant walk properly. ive had surgery on it, ive done physio and it isn't helping, im stuck like this, im stuck in pain every single day and there is nothing they can do.

so you wanna know how i feel every day, inside my head im fighting a war, fighting myself, trying to find a reason to go on to get through another shitty day on this earth with things never getting any better, im tired of being alive, fed up of being someone that when things start going right or better, something rips it out from under me and pulls me back down even worse then before. im terrified of being happy, im terrified of good things. do you know what its like to be scared of just being happy, what its like being scared when you meet someone good, or make a friend.everyday im looking for something to make me feel something, because honestly now, i feel absolutely nothing, i feel empty. nothing affects me anymore,  nothing gets me low, gets me sad. everything is being taken from me. all this shit, my life has taken everything from me and the only thing that is left for this shitty life to take is my beating heat and my conscience. and im not sure how long i can hold out for, and the only reason i am is for the 1 or 2 people that actually care, they may not be close but i know it will hurt them. and i dont want them going through that. 

i would do anything to be a dad i wanna be one so bad, in my head anyway, in reality im terrified to have kids, i am terrified they will turn out like me, im scared they will go through this, im scared they will get the same thing as me, i wouldn't want anyone to live with this, i know that i dont. i defiantly would never want my own child too,

i need help, but i dont know what will, i dont know what can help. i think im too far gone and its too late. 

my life is and endless series of train-wrecks, only i have no intervals of happiness, i have no happiness or even anything close. just when i dont think things can get worse they do. 

everything one way or another fucks me over, everything one way or another at some point hurts me, /// i dont think some people are ment to be happy, and i am one of them. some people are ment to suffer. and i dont know how much more i can take. i dont see what more could happen, but im sure it will. and im waiting for the day it gets too much. i dont even know how i got this far.

I know that no one cares, not about this, not about me. but its ok.

im used to it. this is my life. this is my normal. this is the real me ... 

But this face smile, this mask ... this is what everyone else sees, ...

#mylife #my story #story #my life #life #me #self #myself #depression #suicidal #suicide #sad #lonely #you are not alone #depressed #selfie

[yukhheis]

Fuckboy!Lucas

y’all we about to go on a journey together

okay

lil lucas boy is the resident pretty boy in your school

literally all the girls want to be with him

and he lets them lol

say it’s the first day back at school after a break ok

your teacher made the grand decision to give assigned seating this semester

and guess who you get paired up with at a table

oh yes

lucas

this boy would be flirting with you as soon as you sit down

smirks for dayzzz honey

you could literally feel his eyes moving up and down your body

he better be prepared to get smacked

it would take literally like a month before he got the picture that you’re not interested and finally decide hey maybe i, lucas, can be friends with a girl

so it begins

you realize he’s actually pretty decent lol

within a few weeks y’all are actually hanging out outside of school and are pretty good friends

you get to hear about every single one of his latest things

every

detail

it lowkeys pisses you off but you just listen and let him continue

for a while you thought it made you angry because of the way he just uses girls

which is bad and wrong and he really shouldn’t do it

but oh no honey

you have a giant ass crush on this boy and you are kicking yourself for it

he’s just so funny and always knows how to make you laugh

and he’s the sweetest person behind this flirty exterior

you decide to just let it fall to the side

until one night he texts you at like 11pm and asks if he can come over

once he gets to your place he tells you he just left a girl’s place

you had heard about this one a few times before, he had hooked up with her more than once

but now he feels she’s getting too attached so he just booked it while she was sleeping

and boy you go oFF

“how can you keep doing this?”

“wot”

“how can you feel okay knowing you lead these girls on just to fuck them and run. do you even think about their feelings? how am i supposed to think you respect me, your best friend who is a fucking girl, if you can’t even respect these girls that like you”

he just kinda sits there silent for a bit

and eventually he gets up and leaves without saying a word

you guys don’t talk for a while

class is awkward as all hell because you’re still sat next to each other

it actually takes his friend telling you how miserable he is without you to notice how much you miss him

so after school one day you decide to go over to his place to talk it out

as soon as he sees you this boy breaks down and hugs you so hard while apologizing

it takes a few minutes before he lets go and actually lets you in

“lucas look i’m so-“

“don’t apologize you were right, i’m such a dick and i was never thinking about how these girls felt. it was just hit it and quit. that was the game and it’s so shitty i wish i could take it all back”

you just grab his hand and let him talk

“here’s the thing though, none of these girls ever mattered”

immediately you’d pull your hand away and start to get up before he stopped you

“you have always been the only thing that has mattered. you’re the constant in my life. i’m sorry i never realized sooner how much you mean to me and i know as soon as i let you go you’re going to run because i’m a horrible person and i don’t even know if i’m capable of a relationship but please just don’t leave me”

“i like you”

he’d drop your hand and look so confused

“what?”

“i like you.”

he’d literally just look at you like yeah i heard you but wtf

“how long?”

“how long ago did we get assigned seating?”

bOY HIS SMILE

it would be so big

before he remembered that you knew about every shitty thing he’s done to girls

“i think i kinda made it clear that i feel the same but i was serious when i said i don’t know if i’m capable of a relationship”

“that’s okay. we can work on it”

and that you did

you took everything so slow and he was so careful with you

he never even brought up anything remotely sexual with you until you initiated it

he even started apologizing to girls he knew he’d hurt

at least the ones he could remember lol

overall you’d still be just like best friends there was just a little more cuddling and some smooches here and there

he would try so hard to do things right and prove to you that he really cared about you

he was still just as flirty it was just all aimed at you now

good luck lol

YO I SAW THESE PICS OF YUKHEI AND HE LOOKED LIKE SUCH A BOYFRIEND BUT THEN THIS GIF FUCKED ME UP AND I STILL SOMEWHAT SUCK AT WRITING BUT LISTEN I TRY lol this was like a combo of fuckboy and boyfriend?? idk?? i hope you liked it

my requests are open hey

#nct u scenarios #nct u #nct scenarios #nct u lucas #nct u yukhei #wong yukhei #wong lucas #lucas scenarios #yukhei scenarios #nct reactions #nct u reactions #lucas reactions #yukhei reactions

[missingteethblog]

04/23/2020 - 20:50

The past few days have been really overwhelming, and also I forgot/didn’t have the motivation to write anything so here we are.

4/20 was great, the high wasn’t as terrifying as the last time, and during my high I apparently made the conclusion that I was in fact bi instead of gay and I wrote a whole note on my notes app about liking women as well as who I’m normally attracted to. When I read it (sober) in the morning I just thought “huh, well I’m not bi. what “ yeah it was a journey. Otherwise very chill night, very glad I wasn’t working the next day. I honestly don’t remember anything else from that day, or Monday and Tuesday for that matter. Wednesday was a shit show though.

Wednesday started off pretty okay, went to work and got scoffed at by a manager form another dept for literally no reason so that was great, make me anxious for the rest of the entire day. It was also my dad’ birthday, and I decorated the cake (sister saw I was decorating it, asked if she could just go and I said yes because I was almost done) and later that day my mom came upstairs and told us to do something more with the cake and I thought “well, I already did my part, my sister can do the rest” and by mom decided that me and my sister were arguing (she wanted me to help even though I literally did the majority of the cake) and so she started yelling at us for it which sent me into an anxiety attack (which my mom calls “shutting down”). When she told me that I needed to “snap out of it” and that I would “ruin dad’s birthday if I acted like this for the rest of the night” I just kind of snapped and told her that every single time I have “shut down” that I had been having an anxiety attack. Which made her stop calling it that (as she had been calling it that since I started having these episodes as a child. Anyways that was shit. That was ass. Cried about it for a little bit before vaping and feeling better.

 At NIGHT though, that’s when the “fun” began. I had to go to bed at 11pm (went to bed at 11:45 instead lmao) and instead of falling asleep, my brain decided to fixate on every single extremely graphic detail about everything I did while self harming, especially two particular incidents (tw graphic next part) where 1) I cut out a chunk of my flesh from the crook of my elbow which makes it impossible to get blood drawn from that arm anymore so it’s pretty bad and 2) when I cut really deep in my left forearm down past the veins (through, actually) down into the fat, and remembered (very graphically) sitting on my floor around all my stuff just squeezing around the cut so I could see the fat coming out of the cut. (tw over) Both of these disgusted my to the point where I could not fall asleep because of how awful and revolted I felt, because when you’re in that mindset (while using the coping mechanism) you don’t understand how fucked up and awful and disturbing the behaviour is until you look back on it once you’re out of that mindset (not using the coping mechanism anymore). That went on for about 2 hours before I checked my phone for the time and saw that Crywank was doing a livestream, so because I’m a faggot I watched it and they (James) responded to 4 of my comments and they were so sweet and the livestream was so good and calm (I watched it until it ended around 2:30am), and because they had interacted with 4 of my comments, and I (+ the people watching the stream) learned some things about When You Eat Yourself First Start with Your Head up Your Arse (that I won’t write about) and about them in general and it was so good I felt so much better afterward. Still didn’t fall asleep until 3:30am but I fell asleep on a much better note than very very graphic trauma. :)

Today was also shit. Got told my the meat dept manager that I wasn’t doing my job right (I was doing exactly as he told me to do) to which he corrected me by telling me to do exactly what I had been doing BEFORE he corrected me (about a month ago when I first started working as acting supervisor) which was incredibly frustrating. He seems to be pissed at me for zero reason. He also told me that I either had to come in earlier or stay at work later so that I can get the frozen and fresh loads and put them out. Earlier: the store opens at 7am, I get there at 8am and open and do everything and people are buying things from my dept, I cannot feasibly come in later than 8am. Later: believe it or not, I’m trying to graduate school during fucking quarantine right now and can’t put all my energy into work (which I am doing anyways!). So his response? To get passive aggressive with me and told one of his employees that she had to do my job since I can’t stay later than I’m scheduled. If you want me to behave like an actual supervisor, then I need to be paid the supervisor’s wage instead of my minimum wage. Bruh. I have also been working there for 3 months and am the only competent person working my dept right now. Anyways, that shit got me riled up and upset.

Later that afternoon I had a really long and deep conversation with my best friend (mostly me talking, which is abnormal). We talked about gender, the trans community, Crywank (me), what had happened on Wednesday night (me), weird nazi foot fetish porn that she found on pornhub, me simping for James (Crywank) like a faggot (which included me admitting that, since we have things in common that are kind of rare to find in other people, if we were closer in age )(they’re 12 years older than me) that we would definitely be at least mutuals I guess), my sex-repulsion and lack of sex drive, and our shared fetish. It was really nice, I definitely needed it because I felt a lot better afterwards. I don’t normally talk about myself and my problems because it makes me feel extremely self-centered and selfish (both of which are actual triggers of mine), but today I had a LOT of things I needed to talk about, so I talked about them and it was really relieving. 

Also figured out a quarantine project: I’m going to put all the Crywank albums on cassettes (I messaged them on twitter and they said that it was alright) and I’m really excited to do that!! Really looking forward to it. They’re also doing a livestream concert on Saturday and I’m really really really looking forward to it! :))

Currently listening to Cough Blood On The Moon Soon by Foot Ox.

#frog posts #updates