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#wrong with me that makes people not want to talk to me
maxwellatoms · 2 days
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In one of your last answers, you said “series reboots are usually pretty gross and sad”, and I was wondering if you could expand on that? Assuming “reboot” covers any kind of continuation of a currently cancelled or finished show (and maybe that’s the wrong assumption!), from the outside looking in it feels like a pretty mixed bag. On one hand, if I love XYZ Show, it’s cool that I get more stories with these characters and another chance to support XYZ Show and its creators. On the other, it definitely feels like a lot of ideas can only get funding if they’re tied to something already, meaning creatives are having to now tie whatever cool idea they have to some reboot/relaunch/retread, which can feel pretty disheartening if you don’t want to do a reboot/relaunch/retread. Is that a similar feeling from your side of the industry?
Thank you so much for all your answers and insight!
Usually reboots and spin-offs are just cash grabs. It happens a lot in animation. In fact, I would argue that the entire industry is just one big cash grab now. In the 80s, everyone complained that cartoons were just half-hour commercials for toys. And they were right. And we're right back there, but now that you can't legally push toys all day, it's just general "IP". Mugs, posters, more spinoffs, whatever.
I was offered three show running gigs over the pandemic. All reboots that I would consider unwise to pursue because they were "of a different time" and didn't (in my opinion) have anything more to say. Two of them were properties created by notorious sex pests, so there's also that. The animation industry loves to prop up its sex pests.
I turned all of them down, partially because I didn't respect the original creators but also because none of them had anything going for them except just being "more of the same".
I don't think any of those projects survived the intervening years, so in retrospect I maybe should've taken the job. I'd probably feel a bit gross, but at least I'd have floors in my house.
The entertainment industry is in a bad spot. The whole thing. I've had I don't know how many pitch meetings in the last few years, and they all start the same way:
"Hey! Before we start, we just want to let you know that we're not actively producing anything right now. We think maybe soon, but we won't be picking anything up today..."
And then later:
"The little we are doing is IP, so if you have a new take on our IP or a new IP you're connected to that you can bring in, that'd be great."
I always wanted to make original stuff. There came a time when I'd had my fill of Billy & Mandy and wanted to do something else new and original. That never manifested, and I was constantly being offered IP to produce. I turned too many of those down, maybe, before deciding that it was probably better that I run the IPs that mean something to me rather than having some hack do it.
But now those jobs have all gone to celebrities and fallen live-action writers, who are also slowly being eaten by the system. WB was hot for Scooby stuff a few years back, so I pitched some ideas. A few of them were turned down for being "off-brand" in a variety of ways. WB has now made (I think) all of those off-brand shows (or something close) with celebrity show runners.
I was going through a whole Midlife Impostor Syndrome thing recently where I was wondering if maybe I don't just suck. Like, it's weird that for a couple of decades I'd have people calling me trying to get me to run shows, and now nobody will call me back about the possibility of a design job.
Talking to some friends and realizing that they were in a similar situation helped me feel like I wasn't alone. That was nice. Talking to some of the most talented colleagues in my industry made me made me realize that those people weren't getting jobs either. That was unnerving. Talking to complete strangers in other parts of the entertainment industry now has me thinking that the whole house of cards is coming down. That's real concerning, yo.
It's hard not to think it's purposeful, when deranged billionaires own the entirety of our media and want to shape a society where they can't be criticized. We're letting wealthy tech bros firebomb the very heart of our culture, and it's weird that no one is talking about it. Because (for now) we still have that capability.
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kpop---scenarios · 3 days
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Reckless (3)
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Pairing: Lee Know x Reader
Genre: Brothers Bestfriend
Warning: Smut, Heartbreak [18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT READ]
Word Count: 2.5k
Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @caught-in-the-afterglow @ana-marais98 @rylea08 @seungminsapuppy @chanbahng29
A/N: Please don't hate me too much...
Part One | Part Two |
“I'm going to bed.” You announce, glancing at Minho one more time. He wouldn't look at you. He knew what he did was wrong and you hoped he'd see how fucking hurt you were. How could he fuck you like that and then turn around and go on a date with someone else? Especially someone named Maya. All the Maya's you had met throughout your life had always been twats and you were sure this one would be too.
You cleaned yourself up in the shower, scrubbing your body as you try to scrub away the memory of Minho, you can still feel his fingertips on your body, the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, his breathy moans in your ear. You close your eyes as you remember how fucking good he made you feel. You stumble back, lost in your memories, banging your head on the shower wall. You shake the memories from your head, you wished you didn't have those, you wished this had not happened. You wished you would have known how he would have acted towards you after he fucked you because then you probably wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have made yourself feel like garbage. Why did you have to fall for your brother's best friend? You get out of the shower, drying yourself off before slipping on jammies before you crawl into your bed. You couldn't help but feel betrayed and just heartbroken at his actions.
You could get even, especially since there was a party tomorrow night, you'd easily be able to make him jealous, and maybe.. just maybe it might make you feel better to see him seething at you with another man. But do you want to get even? Or did you want to just forget about it? You snuggled into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your face and a plan in your head.
The next morning you woke up, feeling sad but also excited. You hoped your plan would go according to plan, but you were well aware that life was often able to throw you curveballs and you hoped tonight would be one of the nights that it didn't. Most of the day you lazed around, not doing anything. Around 6pm, you heard Jisung and Minho talking and laughing as they got ready for their dates. You came out of your room, standing in Jisung’s doorway, leaning against the frame as you glare at Minho quickly.
“You look nice.” You tell Jisung. He turns and smiles at you.
“Thanks little sis.” He smiles.
“What about me?” Minho asks. You knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to secretly soften you, making it easier to forgive him but not this time.
“You look like shit.” You deadpan, crossing your arms and walking away. You can hear Jisung laughing as you head to the kitchen.
“What'd you do to piss her off?” Jisung laughs. You smirk a little as you head into the kitchen, finding a snack before you fill your body with alcohol.
“People will show up around 10, Y/N, incase I'm not home.” Jisung tells you as he heads for the door. “We should be back by then tho.” He finishes, walking out the door, Minho behind him. He turns around to look at you. You turn your head, sticking up the middle finger as he walks out the door.
Part of you felt guilty for treating him like that, but how could he fuck you, and then go on a date with someone else? He could have at least given you a heads up about the date or something, instead of blind siding you.
A few hours later as you were finishing getting ready, the doorbell rang. Everything was already ready, you just needed to let people in. You headed down stairs to open the door and a swarm of people pushed their way into the house. you backed off, leaving the door wide open as you turned on Jisung's playlist, heading to the kitchen to get drunk. When you were on your fourth shot, finally feeling something, Jisung, Jisoo, Minho and who you can only assume was Maya walked into the house. You glare at Minho as you take your fourth shot, your eyes never leaving him as Maya talks to him, and he looks extremely uninterested in what she was saying.
“Thanks for getting it started, Y/N.” Jisung smiles, handing a drink to Jisoo.
“How was your date?” You ask, smiling at Jisoo. It was still so weird to see your friend dating your brother, but god forbid you date your brother's friend.
“So much fun!” Jisoo gushes, grabbing onto Jisung's arm.
“Oh, Y/N this is Maya, Maya, my sister Y/N.” Jisung says introducing the two of you.
“Hi.” You say, with a small smile.
“Jisung, Minho.” Maya whines. “You didn't tell me she was so pretty.” she finishes as Minho drapes his arm around her shoulders.
You awkwardly laugh. “Um, thanks.. “ you sort of whisper. “Oh this is my friend Chan.” You smile, pulling the first guy you see towards you. “Chan, this is Maya, Minho's friend.” You say, introducing the two. Chan smiles and waves, he knows Minho and Jisung very well, and you can see it in his eyes that he's fuming at the fact that you're grabbing onto Chan.
“You wanna take a shot?” You ask Chan. He smiles and nods his head, letting you pull him deeper into the kitchen to get a different kind of shot. You and Chan stand there and drink, talking and laughing. He was really funny, and you couldn't control how much you laughed. It didn't help that you were getting very drunk and everything was hilarious to you.
“Do you wanna dance?” You ask Chan, your hand holding onto his bicep.
“Yes. Please.” He smiles, again letting himself be pulled away by you.
“Where are you two going?” Minho asks as the two of you pass him and Maya.
“Dancing.” You respond, looking straight ahead to ignore eye contact.
You and Chan face each other, wrapping your arms around his neck as he places his hand on your lower back, pulling you in to grind on him closer. You look towards the kitchen, seeing Minho stare at the two of you, his jaw clenching as he watches you both. You chuckle to yourself, seeing Maya trying to talk to him but he ignores her, only paying attention to you. You look away and back at Chan who was looking at you. He was cute.. no he was hot. He really was. But there was something about fucking Minho that you couldn't shake. As great as Chan was, he wasn't Minho and you didn't know what to do.
“Y/N.” Jisung calls.
“I'll be right back.” You tell Chan, heading over to your brother.
“Can you take the trash out? Pleaseeeee. I've got a situation to deal with.” He says. You roll your eyes taking the trash bag from his hand and drunkenly stumble out of the front door of the house and head to the secluded side where the garbage bins are. You shuffle passed the garden tools your parents left on the side of the house, almost tripping before someone grabs your wrist, pulling you back up and causing you to drop the garbage. You turn around and see Minho standing there. He takes the garbage tossing it in the bin, you try to walk away but he grabs your wrist again, spinning you, making your chest and face press against the house as he presses his body against yours.
“Why are you doing this to me?” He whispers, his hot breath hitting your ear, making you shiver.
“Doing what?” You ask. You knew what you were doing.
“Making me jealous.” He sighs. “With Chan of all people? You couldn't have picked anyone else?” He asks.
“I like Chan. He's nice.” You whisper.
“I'm nice.”
“Yeah, sure.” You scoff.
“Are you trying to forget me?” He asks.
“Isn't that what you're doing with Maya?” You ask. “Trying to forget me?”
“I'm trying. But it's so fucking hard when all I want is you.” He whispers. “You're forbidden and it makes it all that much more tempting. I want you so fucking bad.” He groans, pressing his hard cock into your ass, making you moan.
“My favorite sound.” He breathes, pressing his cock against you a little harder. He moves back, grabbing your clothed tits, teasing your nipple over your shirt.
“Just fuck me, please.” You breathe. You knew it was wrong. You knew you were an idiot for this, but what could you do? You were so fucking in love with this man.
Minho doesn't say anything, you can hear the sound of his belt buckle being undone. You turn around, dropping to your knees in front of him. You grabbed onto his cock, sucking on his tip before pushing him further down your throat until he hit the back. Minho groans loudly as he holds onto your head, thrusting himself into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat each time.
“Fuck your mouth feels so fucking good.” He sighs as he throws his head back, groaning loudly. You look up at him, his cock still in your mouth. He looks down at you, smirking.
“What a sight.” He says, thrusting his cock deeper into your throat.
Minho pulls himself from your mouth, helping you up off the ground as he hikes up your dress. He pulls down your panties, before he lifts you, letting you wrap your legs around his waist as he lines himself up with you. He slowly pushed his cock inside you, stretching you out as he fills you up. You cry out as he thrusts harshly into you, pounding you against the wall.
“Oh fuck.” You cry out, wrapping your arms tightly around him as he fucks you harder.
“Your pussy feels so fucking good.” He gasps, his fingers digging deeply into you. He slams into you harder and harder with each thrust, hitting your G spot and clit in the right spot each fucking time. Your orgasm doesn't take long, the dancing with Chan and then the teasing with Minho had made you so fucking horny.
“Right there.. fuck, yes!” You cry out as you cum, covering his cock with your juices.
Minho is right behind you, cumming hard, deep inside you.
“Shit.” He pants, as he slides his cock out of you. He does his jeans back up, buckles his belt and looks at you with a look you didn't like.
“I'm sorry.. I gotta go back in. I forgot about Maya.” He whispers. You nod your head, shooing him off as you put your panties back on and head inside to the bathroom. You clean yourself up and head to the kitchen for another drink.
“There you are.” You hear. You look and see Chan standing there with two shots and a smile on his face. You walk over taking the shot, and thanking him.
“You were gone for a while.” He laughs.
“Yeah, taking the trash out is time consuming.” You say, looking around for Minho. And you found him. Dancing with Maya, she's grinding her ass on his cock, the one that had just been inside you minutes ago. You try to not let it bother you. The two of you weren't dating, you knew that. You wanted to be with him though and you had thought he felt the same but then looking at him like this with her, it makes you wonder what he truly wants.
“Dance?” Chan asks, holding out his hand.
“More shots first.” You smile. The two of you take a few more shots before heading back out to the dance floor. It doesn't last long, you were focused on Chan until you started looking for Minho, and you found him. His lips locked with Maya's, making out as they dance. Tears brimming in your eyes, you quietly excuse yourself from Chan and quickly make your way upstairs. Minho had just happened to see you storm out of the room, he called after you, but the music was too loud.
Jisung storms over to Minho, making him look at him. “There's nothing going on with you and my sister, right?” He asks Mjnho.
“No man, why?” Minho asks.
“I don't know.. just making sure.” Jisung sighs, walking away. Minho takes the opportunity to sneak upstairs, excusing himself from Maya for a moment. He walks into your room, seeing you cry into a pillow. It breaks his heart, and he knew this was going to break you even more.
“Y/N.” He starts.
“What do you want?” You yell. “You wanna come fuck me again and then go make out and be with someone else?”
“That's not!” He yells, taking a deep breath. “That's not fair.” He says calmly. “This whole thing is fucked up. Jisung thinks something is going on between us.” Minho admits.
“There is.” You say.
“There can't be. This can't happen again.”
“Why? Because of my brother? Fuck him!” You yell.
“He's done so much for me, Y/N. I can't.. I can't ruin our friendship over this.. over us.” He sighs.
“So there is an us.” You whisper.
“No.” He says, running his hands through his hair. You could tell he was fighting internally about what to say next. “There's no us. There will never be an us. Okay?” He says. “You need to stay away from me. Let me be with Maya. You do you. But leave me alone.”
“If you're serious Minho, I'm done. I'm done letting you use me and leave me because of Jisung.” You snap.
He turns to walk out the door.
“If you walk out that door, it's fucking done.” You cry. Minho pauses for a second. And for a second you thought, you hoped he'd change his mind and rush towards you and kiss you. But he didn't. He walked right out that door, leaving you sobbing into your pillow.
Your cry doesn't last very long. You are a strong woman, and you didn't want to let a man who was afraid to admit to your brother that he liked you bring you down. You wiped your face, reapplied some make up and headed back downstairs where you saw Minho laughing with Maya and Jisung. Fuck him. You strutted over to Chan, grabbed the back of his head and planted your lips directly on his. You didn't feel any sparks, not like how it felt with Minho but you didn't let it stop you. He embraced the kiss, pulling you in closer to him. You break the kiss and smile at him. He grins back at you, chuckling.
“Wow.” He breathes. “I wanted to ask you.. if you'd like to grab dinner with me some time?”
You looked behind you, seeing Minho glare at the two of you. You smile at Chan. “I'd love to.”
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crilbyte · 2 days
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do an Alastor x reader one-shot inspired by the song 'Don't you dare make me fall in love with you' by Kaden MacKay?
Ooooh my gosh, I love this! This is so cute. I love the idea of an angrily lovesick alastor.
I wasn't sure if you wanted a smutty oneshot or not, so I stopped right before it.
Update! Due to popular demand I've made a Part 2. It's 18+ so be aware!
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Everything had been going so well. He'd wormed his way into the hotel, Charlie trusted him, he'd even gotten her to make a deal with him. Everything had been going according to plan. Until YOU showed up.
At first it wasn't so bad. Sure, you were pretty and intelligent and the only one who could make a decent cup of coffee in the whole hotel. Sure you were funny and sweet and the only one he could stand to sit with in the study to read. You were quiet when it called for it and loud when it was okay. That was all.
But then Alastor started noticing when you weren't there instead of just when you were. He began to schedule when he would read by the fire in the study for when he'd know you were there. It was one of these times that made him realize something might be wrong with him.
Alastor went to the study, ready to read silently alongside you as you both usually did at this time only to find you missing. It was then that he heard Charlie and Angels voices from outside in the hall.
“...no, she's just taking it really hard,” Charlie says softly.
“It’s not her fault,” Angel insists. “Girl needs to chill.”
“You know how she is, her reason for being down here is pretty different from most people's.”
“Yeah, I get that an’ all… But it's still *not* her fault. That crazy motherfucker deserved what he got. Fuck him.”
“Still, she’s just like this. She feels responsible for his death, even if he arguably did deserve it.”
“So, now what? Do we just let it play out?” Angel asks, seemingly sincere.
“I… I don't know,” Charlie sighs, exasperated. “I tried to talk to her, but she won't let me into her room. She’s locked herself in. So, yeah I guess…”
*So… you are in her room were you?* Alastor thought, already beginning to fade into shadows. Then that’s where he would go…
He hadn't even fully corporealized before he could hear the quiet sobs. Alastor slowly approaches the lump in the bed, a curled-up you hiding under the covers like a scared child. He sits beside you, a gentle hand on what he assumes is your head.
“My dear, what troubles you so…?” His crackled voice asks.
With a jump, you throw the covers off of your head, not having realized he was there. The look of shock on your face would have been quite amusing if it wasn't layered over red puffy eyes and an even more pallid complexion than you usually had.
“Alastor!” you chirp, quickly looking away and wiping your eyes. “W-what are you doing here? I thought I locked the door.”
“Indeed you did, luckily I am not bound by such trivial things,” Alastor replies proudly.
You give him a slightly irritated look. He’d take it; it was better than crying.
“I overheard that you were inconsolable up here, wouldn't even let Charlie in. That’s typically my cue to step in. So do tell, what can I do for you? My purpose here is to help after all.”
You give him a skeptical look. This wasn't exactly out of character for Alastor, but you know better than to assume that he would ever do anything purely out of the kindness of his heart.
“I'm not making any deals with you, Alastor,” you say, turning away from him and pulling the covers up to your shoulders.
“Who said anything about a deal?” He replies, only inches from your face.
You scream, jumping up to a sitting position. “Hell’s sake, Alastor. I wish you wouldn't do that.”
Alastor didn't reply, instead choosing to tilt his head with a closed-mouth smile.
With a sigh, you seem to give up. You look down at the sheets, your finger tracing an embroidered pattern on the duvet. “It’s about why I'm down here” you finally admit. “It's… just hard. It's the anniversary of when it happened and it's just…”
“Let me see if I've got this straight,” Alastor asks, spinning his cane. “You feel guilty for the sin that brought you here?”
You nod silently.
“And what exactly was that?”
You look up at him, nervously. “Murder…”
Alastor's eyes glint. He would never have guessed. “And what caused you to do such a… heinous crime against God?”
“He was a friend of my brothers. He was trying to blackmail me into… into doing porn for him.”
“So you murdered a man who'd threatened you?”
You nod. “And other girls.”
“Bit of a pimp, then eh?” He grins, sounds like you did the world a favor.”
You’re taken aback by that, you hadn't even considered that. You look down at the bed, little sniffles being the only sound between the two of you. Alastor moves closer, taking your chin in his thumb and first finger, forcing you to look at him.
“Now… I believe I asked you a question,” he chirps out, voice low and ridden with static. “What do you need? Your any desire is mine to fulfill. No deals necessary.”
You just stare up at him, stunned. There had to be a catch, right? Alastor was not *kind*. He didn't do things for no reason. His goal was always to further his own plans. But no matter how much you try, you can't figure out what he could get out of this, besides your trust.
“Come, my dear. Surely there's something, anything I can do to help,” he tries one last time.
The words fall from your mouth before you can stop them. “Stay with me tonight…”
Alastor pulls back slightly, eyes widening, his grin still present, but nervous. “You want me to…stay?” He asks.
You just nod, moving towards him. “Please?”
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Wait, wait, wait,” Rosie throws her hands up, waving them. “She wanted you to stay the night?”
Alastor takes a sip of his coffee, nodding.
“So how'd she take the rejection?” She asks playfully, raising an eyebrow.
“Whatever do you mean?” Alastor questions, lightly placing his cup back on its saucer.
“Well you didn't sleep with her,” she says with a scoff.
Alastor doesn't respond, instead taking another sip from his cup.
Rosie's eyes grow. “Alastor. You didn't.” Her hand flies up to cover her mouth in shock.
“I did as she asked. I'm not one to go back on a promise.”
“And… so… what was it like?” She asks, genuinely interested now.
He ponders, eyes looking off into the middle distance with thought as his brows pull together. “Warm?”
Rosie chokes on her tea.
“I haven't slept that well in a long time, frankly. It's not something I've ever been interested in before.”
“I'm well aware,” she all but stutters out.
Alastor takes another long sip from his coffee before continuing. “Since then, she’s had me stay with her every night this week. Which is the subject of the advice I came to you for.”
Stunned silence. Rosie can't think of a single word. She had not expected this. Instead, she just nods, motioning for him to continue.
“At least she doesn't snore,” he jokes, his canned radio laughter echoing.
“She doesn't…” Rosie blinks a few times, realization setting in. “Wait, so you didn't…”
“Hmm?” Alastor raises an eyebrow, peering at Rosie over his monocle. “Didn't what, my dear?”
“*Sex* dear,” she says bluntly, smirking.
Alastor's eyes are suddenly as wide as Rosie had ever seen them. With his trademark grin still plastered on his face, it was a pretty comedic expression.
“Oh, no, no,” Alastor says through a laugh once his initial shock wears off. “Absolutely not, no. I have no interest in such things. No, no.”
Rosie's grin grows as she squints at her old friend, analyzing every word, every moment. Something was off, and then it struck her.
“Darlin’, you’re dizzy with her,” she says flatly, sipping her tea.
Her words actually silence him for a moment. She couldn't mean that. She was wrong.
“You must be mistaken,” he says, attempting to brush the comment off while readjusting the silverware on the table.
“Well, let's just think about it for a minute. You like her, right?”
“Indeed. She's intelligent, powerful, and quite the little spitfire when she wants to be,” he admits readily.
“And you like being around her? She doesn't make you uncomfortable?”
“Quite the opposite. She goes out of her way to ensure that I am quite comfortable.”
“Al, I think you love this girl,” she says with a squeak of barely contained excitement.
"No,” he says a little more forcefully than intended. “I do not love her. I *like* her, I will readily admit that. But I do not love her. I don't love anyone. I only find it enjoyable to be around her, and I attempt to do what I can for her to be happy and fulfill this silly desire of hers to accend.”
“And you are willing to brutally murder anyone who gets in the way of that..." She adds.
Alastor makes a point not to acknowledge her statement.
“Oh sweetie, honey, darling,” she coos teasingly, reaching a hand out on the table to him. “That’s how I felt about my dear Franklin. Well, before things grew cold between us and he had that *horrible accident~.*”
Alastor's smile is unwavering, but his eyes give away quite a bit. He was thinking, fighting these suggestions in his head, but he trusted Rosie. She'd never done him wrong before. In fact she had even gone out of her way for him on multiple occasions. If she was saying it, she meant it.
“If any other soul in this realm spoke those words to me…” he trails off, but Rosie understands.
“I might be off the mark,” she admits, throwing her hands up. “But promise me you’ll think about it. After everything that girl has gone through, she deserves at least that much.”
The walk home is far from peaceful. Alastor’s mind is plagued with thoughts of his conversation with Rosie. She was one of the only souls in hell he would ever admit to feeling anything even remotely close to “trust” in. He wants to scoff, wave away such frivolous accusations and move along; but when he tries, something deep in his brain tugs at him. Like a hook stuck in a fish that was too stubborn to be reeled in.
With a heavy sigh, Alastor walks into the hotel. There are more sinners there than usual. The sight lifted his spirits, Charlie would be happy. Though quickly his grin twists to one of chagrin. It happened again. What was this? Surely Rosie wasn't right. He knew himself. He was The Radio Demon, one of the most feared overlords in hell, serial killer, and cannibal. There was no way that he-
Alastor’s eyes lock onto you, standing at the bar, back against the wall, hands up in a defensive position while some… *kreatin* stood in front of you, fist against the wall beside your head, keeping you there. He was suddenly boiling with rage. His grin shifts to a sneer, antlers growing steadily as his legs take him closer to the offending and soon-to-be *deceased* sinner.
“No, I’m sorry, I really don't want any…” he hears your non-confrontational voice and his throat burns.
“Come on,” the man’s gravely voice insists. “What’s one drink? It's on me.”
“I believe the lady said N͇̱͐̿͛́o̷͖̤̺̥͈̲̓̓.̢͙̼͈̝ͫ͊̋ͅ.” Alastor’s voice contorts, his eyes turning to dials as he grows in size.
The man stutters, mumbling out apologies before turning and quickly attempting to escape. Alastor made to follow but feels tiny hands on him, turning harshly to see who dared to stop him, only to see your small form hugging his arm. It was as though you had poured cold water over him. He shrinks back down to size, his grin shifting from its twisted form to a much softer one as he takes in your trembling frame.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
He reaches a hand up and pats your head gently and you grip him tighter.
“Thank you, Alastor…Thank you.”
Alastor closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose.
*Fuck*…
The next week was difficult…
It was as if everything was conspiring together to find new and unique ways to piss Alastor off. Between having to restrain himself from tearing to shreds and devouring a new resident at the hotel after he disturbed you with extremely inappropriate remarks one fateful afternoon, and him finding himself genuinely happy at the sight of you when you were telling Charlie about it later… It felt as though his sanity was being used as a yo-yo. But this was not the end of it, or even the worst of it to come.
On one quiet afternoon, Alastor is sitting in the study, reading a book and sipping coffee, relaxing. Or at least, he *had* been relaxing. It was rather difficult to unwind when you are being watched.
Out of the corner of his eye, Alastor can see Charlie peeking in through the doorway. Each time he looks up to welcome her in, she disappears. She even begins just walking past the doorway over and over as though she is trying to work up the courage to go in, only to change her mind at the last second. After about ten minutes of this cat-and-mouse game, Alastor can't take it anymore.
“Are you going to enter, my dear, or are you planning on just staring the entire night?” He asks, not looking up from his book.
“O-oh. Sorry,” Charlie enters sheepishly, walking to sit in a nearby plush chair.
“So what brings you to me this afternoon?” Alastor asks, closing his book and placing it on the little table beside him.
“Um,” she looks down at her hands which are stuck between her thighs. She really did seem quite nervous. “I wanted to ask you for some advice?”
He perks at that. “Of course, my dear. Ask away, I’m always happy to help.”
“It's for a friend of mine.”
Okay, that doesn't narrow anything down, he thinks.
“A mutual friend of ours,” she continues.
And that narrows it down considerably. So she is talking about you, Alastor decides.
“Yes, and what problem does our friend have.
“Okay, so… There’s this guy…”
It was as though a hole opened in his chest. Three little words. Why had they affected him so strongly? He needed to quash this ridiculous and frivolous emotion.
“And you came to me?” He asks, examining his claws. “My dear, I'm hardly the sentimental type.”
“Well, he’s uh, a lot like you. Old fashioned, proper.” She looks so nervous to be asking him this, her face is red, which was quite noticeable with her pale complexion. “She… she *really* likes him, but she doesn't know how to tell him. So I hoped maybe you could help me give her some advice…?”
Alastor wants nothing more than to ask this man’s name and hunt him down.
The thought causes him to pause. What a strange intrusive thought. He attempts to shake it off, turning his attention back to Charlie.
“Well,” he begins. “That isn't much to go on.” Alastor crosses his legs, it feels as though he was trying to tie himself into a knot. What an annoying feeling.
“Ok, so… he’s smart and generous um…” Charlie bites her lip, “Funny?”
Alastor remains silent, this isn't very useful information.
“Is he a sinner, dear?” he inquires.
Charlie perks at that. “Oh, yes actually.”
He has to suppress a growl. *So it was some lowly human then,* He thinks as though he in't the same. He attempts some deduction. A sinner who identifies as male. Old-fashioned. Proper… That likely ruled out the recently deceased. Apparently “smart” and “funny”. Though Alastor mused he couldn’t be *that” smart to have ended up on his shit-list. He was beginning to compile a list of suspects. Just as he was about to ask another probing question, there came a voice from the door.
“Hey, Charlie, there’s some new girl here who swears that you told her she could have a room with a jacuzzi?” Angel says incredulously. “Bitch, if we have rooms with jacuzzis why the *fuck* am I staying in a traditional fucking suite?”
“Oh, uh, I think she may have misunderstood,” Charlie begins before turning to Alastor. “Sorry, I think I’ll have to deal with this personally… Thanks for listening, but, honestly… you can forget it. It’s not that important anyway.”
With that, she stands and leaves, though through the doorway Alastor can swear he saw Angel playfully elbow her ribs, though he couldn't begin to guess what that was about.
A sinner who was smart, generous, and funny. This was sounding less and less like someone who would have ended up in hell. He would do more reconnaissance later. For now, he wanted to prepare for his radio show tomorrow, hoping it could take his mind off this itching feeling in the back of his head.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
It's quiet in Alastor’s room. The only sounds coming from the ticking of his grandfather clock and the quiet sounds of jazz from his gramophone. It had been a rough day, well… a rough fewI days. But this afternoon seemed to be going more his way, he thought. At least until he hears a knock at his door.
Alastor sighs, letting his head fall over the back of his chair. Who could it possibly be at this hour? After so much inner turmoil, he had very much wished to just relax in his room. It seemed as though even that was asking too much. Alastor steadies himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, and stands. He opens the door only to be surprised. Outside stood a very nervous looking Charlie. With a quirk of his brow; Alastor's grin grows.
“And what, may I ask, brings you to my humble abode at such a late hour?” He asks.
“Well,” she begins with a twitchy look in her eye. “Tomorrow we're doing a sort of graduation party,” she begins to explain how she has a surprise party planned for you, that your progress was so much faster than she could have ever assumed and so she wanted to throw you a party before you disappeared up to heaven.
Each new word from her mouth felt like another weight added to the chain that threatened to drag Alastor down into some deeper pit of hell itself.
“You think she'll be heavenbound soon?” He asks, his mouth dry.
“Yes!” She replies cheerfully. “The rain she was down here to begin with was pretty shakey, anyway. To be honest, I'm surprised it's taken this long.”
“You'll have to excuse me, my dear, but I've just remembered I have something very important to take care of,” Alastor says with a harsh smile.
“But I haven't even asked what I came here to-” Charlie attempts to finish, but is cut off as the door closes in her face.
With a determination he hadn't felt in a long time, Alastor turns and I'm stalks towards his table, picking up his book and returning it to its shelf before dissolving into Shadow. He doesn't reappear outside your door, or even attempt to knock. Instead he apparates directly into your room. Luckily you were looking in the direction his shape takes form in so you're not quite as startled by his sudden appearance, even if it does shake you slightly, seeing as how you're in bed and in your nightgown.
“Alastor?” You ask as he solidifies and steps towards you.
"Darling," He whispers, a small smirk on his face at your state of undress. "I'm here to make a deal…”
"a deal...? with me?" You ask, curious.
"Yes, my dear," He murmurs, his tone turning serious. "Charlie has informed me that your ascension is nearing. I have come to persuade you to… make a different choice.”
You cock an eyebrow at him. "Oh... she said that?" You ask. "And why... is that?"
Alastor takes a step closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Because, I'd be... lonely, without you here. I've grown fond of your quiet presence, and I don't like the thought of going back to solitude.”
You tilt your head. "But you have Charlie, aren't you and her quite close?"
Alastor pauses for a moment at your question, his eyes narrowing slightly. He never thought you would question his reasoning.
"She... it isn't the same," He growls. "I want you, here... always, keeping me... sane." A hint of sadness crosses his face, but it's quickly replaced by a smirk. "Charlie and I have... similar goals. But we are not close. She doesn't need me the way you do... and she certainly doesn't have... my tastes" He says, taking another step towards you.
You give up on this line of questioning and instead start a new one.
"So you want to make a deal for my soul?" you ask. "You get my soul and in return I can have... anything I want?”
Alastor smiles again, but more genuinely this time. "Yes... that's what I'm proposing. Your soul, in exchange for anything your heart desires." He says with a grin, sitting down on your bed and holding out a hand towards you. "Do we have a deal?”
You feel the static in the air, the sound seeming to fill your ears like a flood as he leans towards you. You watch as his antlers slowly grow and green scratch marks appear in the air, forming into unfamiliar symbols that flash in and out. You look down at his hand, your gaze steeling before you tentatively reach out, but then pause. Just as he thinks you might pull back, you do the opposite, confidently gripping his hand and looking at him with a determined glint in your eyes.
"Deal.”
Alastor chuckles low as you accept his hand and the deal. The static intensifies as he grips your hand back, pulling you closer to him. The symbols in the air flare brightly for a moment before they vanish, leaving a faint glow that's slow to fade. You watch as the green stitching appears in his lips, a gold contract and a quill appearing between you.
You take the pen and sign your name without hesitation. The moment the last letter is written, a flash of green light fills the room and you feel a heavy weight settle around your neck as a neon green collar appears there. The chain attached to it leading to Alastor's still outstretched hand.
Alastor chuckles again as the collar settles around your neck, tugging on it playfully. He brings his free hand up to trace a finger along the chain, watching it with interest before he looks back at you.
"The weight of your decision…” he says. You watch his finger as it slides down the chain, your body leaning towards him. Alastor's finger hooks into the collar, pulling a little harder, causing your body to lean closer to him still. "...is now physically upon you," he finishes, a dark glint in his eyes as he studies you. He leans in close, whispering seductively, "And what could you possibly want so badly you'd be willing to trade your soul for it without a second thought?”
"If I tell you, you can't go back on it right?" You ask, your eyes boring into his. "Just like I can't go back on the deal, you can't either, correct?”
Alastor smirks, a wicked and sinister expression taking over his features. "That's right," he confirms, running his thumb along the collar before letting it fall from his fingers. "Once you've signed the contract, there's no going back. So go ahead. Tell me what is it that could tempt you so drastically. What did you desire?”
You're silent a moment, just staring at him, still leaned in close, before a single word falls from your lips.
"You…”
Alastor tilts his head slightly, processing your word as you stare at each other for a tense, long moment. Slowly, his lips curl into a small smirk.
"You desire me?" He repeats, an almost mocking tone in his voice, but his eyes tell a different story.
You nod, silently moving forward towards him, closing the distance between you. Alastor watches as you crawl across the bed towards him. Something flashes in his expression, but it's gone just as quick as it came. He moves his hand from your collar to the small of your back, pulling you gently closer by slowly reeling you in. Closer, until your body is almost flush with his, able to feel the rise and fall of his chest under his suit jacket, his lips a breath away from yours. You look up at him, blinking rapidly, mouth slightly open.
"Yes," you say in almost a whisper. "What I desire most... is you…”
Alastor closes his eyes, your words causing a visible shiver to run through him. He's quiet for a moment, just simply holding you close before he takes in a deep breath and finally crashes his lips against yours, a low moan rumbling in his chest. You gasp into the kiss, moaning. Alastor takes the chance to slip his tongue between your lips, tangling with yours as he pulls you closer against him. His hands move from your waist and up your back, pulling you impossibly close as he devours your mouth hungrily.
A groan escapes him as he can feel your tongue fighting his own for dominance. He finds he likes the challenge. Alastor chuckles against your lips, breaking the kiss for just a moment before diving back in, hands slipping up under your shirt to rest against the warmth of your skin. He matches your fight for dominance with his own, a growl rumbling through his chest as you continue.
Tonight, Alastor would claim full ownership of you...
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mattyriddlesbitch · 24 hours
Note
a steamy enemies mattheo fic w you as the shy yet stern tutor and he keeps messing w you. maybe at the end after he passes his exams you try to stop the meetings by saying he doesn’t need a tutor anymore and he gets mad/the jealousy trope 🤤😈🛼 also what if there’s a scene where you go to a ‘dangerous’ party w the wrong crowd and he catches you there and gets mad bc he doesn’t want u around those people
I hope this works! So sorry this took so long!
Tutor
Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader
Warnings: kissing, cussing
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You and Mattheo never got along. Everyone knew that too. Insults and snarky comments were thrown at each other all the time.
So it was infuriating when McGonagall said you were his new tutor since he was struggling with some classes. You tried to get out of it, switch with another tutor, but she just said that everyone's already set up with another student and she can't change it.
Tutoring sessions were brutal. He always messed with you. Always tried getting off topic. Even jokingly flirting with you to try to derail your lesson. But you were determined to get him to study and tutor him enough to pass so you could stop these sessions. 
“How about every answer I get right, you give me a kiss?” He smiled at you.
“In your dreams, Riddle.” You rolled your eyes, but felt the heat rise to your cheeks. “Can you just focus?”
He finally just started passing his classes, his homework and test scores soaring  enough to make him start passing classes. McGonagall said you didn't have to tutor him anymore, but she recommended you did since your own scores were going up as well as you tutored him. You had enough of Mattheo and told him you weren't going to be tutoring him anymore during your last tutoring session, showing him the tricks you learned for studying and retaining information.
Oh, he was mad. He never really hated you. He liked you and never knew how to express his feelings so he became mean to you instead. He was a dumb kid when he decided that and didn't know how to change it and make you like him, even as a friend. These tutoring sessions were making his feelings grow. He thought it'd be a perfect time to find out more about you, asking you questions about yourself, trying to change the topic to something more fun to hear you talk about something other than school, even flirting with you to try to change your view of him and see if he could fluster you.
So when you told him that you were done with tutoring him, he was upset. Moreso at himself than you. He was upset that he didn't seem to get you to change your view of him. He was upset he tried so hard, he passed enough to not need you to tutor him anymore. He was upset that he decided to be an ass to you at the beginning of your relationship so you'd always have a bad view of him.
“What do you mean you're not tutoring me anymore?” He frowned as he sat across from you in the library.
“I mean exactly that. You're doing well enough to not need one anymore.” You shrugged.
“I'm only doing this well because of you.”
“I'm showing you how I study so you can keep doing this well. You don't need me.”
He wanted to say he does need you. Merlin, he wanted to. He wanted to see how you'd react. He even wanted to see you get all smug and tease him about needing you, but he bit his tongue.
Truth was, he really didn't need your help. He knew this stuff enough to pass with flying colors. He just never applied himself. But he thought if he did start passing because of you, you'd be impressed and happy he did so well because of you. He felt like he lost his chance to win you over once he saw you leaving the library after your last tutoring session.
Your friend invited you to a party she'd been invited to, saying it'll be fun and to think of it as celebrating successfully tutoring Mattheo and being done with him. You were reluctant but finally agreed, deciding it'd be fun to relax and let loose.
You arrived with your friend, who let you borrow one of her short dresses and a pair of heels. You both drank and danced until she was eventually pulled away by one of the guys there, leaving you alone. You were slightly tipsy, just enough to make you relaxed and slightly dizzy.
A guy approached you, you recognized him enough to know he was in Slytherin, but you never learned his name. He was about to say something when an arm wrapped around your waist from beside you.
“Hey, princess. Hope you weren't waiting on me for too long.” You recognized the voice as Mattheo and turned your head to see him smiling at you.
“What-”
“You seem a bit tired. How about we go sit down?” Something in his voice and smile was off. You nodded and he guided you away from the crowd and down a secluded hallway. “What are you doing here?” He asked as he moved to stand in front of you.
“My friend invited me.” You frowned.
“And she left you alone?” He matched your frown.
“Some guy took her to dance.”
“You're kidding. This isn't safe for you.”
“What? Why?” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.
“Doesn't matter. I'll get you back to your dorm.” He said, trying to turn you back around to lead you away.
“No, tell me. If I'm in danger, then I should know why.” You said, resisting him.
He sighed, looking down the hallway before looking back at you, talking quietly. “This is for purebloods and Death Eaters, something you shouldn't get involved with. So, let me get you out of here before something happens to you.” He said, trying to guide you again and you let him this time.
“What are you doing here then?” You questioned, now sobered up from this conversation.
“My father. What do you think, Ms Know-It-All?” He teased and you rolled your eyes.
“No need to be mean.” You frowned. There was a pause as he led you out of the party and started the way to your dorm. “Why are you helping me anyways?”
“I don't hate you, you know?” He said and you turned your head to look at him again.
“You don't?” You raised an eyebrow.
“No. I never have. I'm just…” He paused trying to find the right words and you stopped walking, turning to face him as he stopped too. “I'm not good at…words-at expressing myself. I don't do well with feelings and emotions.” He sighed, looking down.
“Okay.” You spoke quietly. “So…what do you actually mean then, if you don't hate me?”
“What I mean is that…” He looked back up to meet your eyes. “I mean, I don't hate you, I…” He ran a hand through his hair, letting out another sigh. “Fuck it.” He muttered before grabbing your face gently and pressing his lips against yours. He pulled back after a few seconds, noticing your surprised expression as you still tried grasping what just happened. “Did that make sense?” He asked, hands still cupping your face.
“Um, I think so.” You said, still a little dazed.
“Let's get you back to your dorm. Maybe it'll give you time to figure it out.” He said, a small smirk playing on his lips now as he moved a hand back to your waist and started guiding you again.
Taglist:
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latenightdaydreams · 23 hours
Text
Tutor (fem)
Loser!König x Bully!Reader
MDNI🔞
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, bully, oral, p in v, virginity loss
2.3k word count
📖
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König is a loser. He’s a 23-year-old virgin college student who is too scared to talk to women. He would much rather stay home and build Gundam’s, play video games, or work on his schoolwork. In public, he is quiet and timid. He tries to blend in to not be seen. Being a whole 6 '10, he can’t. As a child, he was constantly bullied for his size and being chubby. As an adult, he still gets picked on for being tall and awkward.
You are a part of the problem. A short, curvy, big-breasted bitch; the apple of his eye. König sits in the back of class and watches your hips sway as you walk to your seat. The way your breasts bounce like hentai boobies. His cock grows hard as you bend over, making your cleavage more visible to him. Just as he got lost in a trance, you snap him out of it.
“What are you looking at? Freak!”
Your hands on your hips, a disgusted look on your face. König’s face turns red as he realizes that you’ve caught him in the act. You flip him off and turn to sit. He reaches down to adjust his boner, taking a deep breath and letting out a small sigh.
After class, as everyone stands to pack their bags, he stays seated, looking at his cell phone. He has your Instagram profile opened on his phone, gazing at a bikini picture you posted this summer. You look absolutely perfect in your tiny pink bikini. He has become so lost in your photos; he didn’t realize you were walking past him to leave.
“What the fuck?” A loud laugh breaks out.
König looks up to see that you caught him looking at your profile. He turns off the screen of his phone and clears his throat. Inside his chest, his heart pounds so hard it feels like it’s going to explode from embracement.
“Sorry.” His voice is meek as he avoids eye contact with you.
“Fucking loser.” You scoff while walking away.
This was going to be a long year.
Three months into the school year, you haven’t turned in one assignment yet and have failed the few tests you’ve had. The dean sent you a message telling you that if you don’t raise your grades, you would be at risk of being put on academic probation. You needed a tutor, and fast.
König sits in his dorm room at his desk, working on building Lego set #21348, when he hears a knock at his door. He looks over his shoulder at his door, trying to decide if he wants to deal with people. After a few seconds, he stands to answer the door.
Once he opens the door, his eyes grow wide seeing you standing there. “Oh, h-hey y/n.”
“Hey König.” You smile up at him and push him aside, walking into his room. His room is simple and neat. Robot figures anywhere he can place them and a Lego set on his desk. You walk over and look at the set, König walking up behind you.
“So, what is this? Star Wars?”
König tilts his head confused about how wrong you are. Do you even know what Star Wars is? “Uh, no. Star Wars is a space themed futuristic story…” He could see the lack of interest on your face. “So, why are you here?”
“Geez, you’re a bigger fucking nerd than I thought you were.” You say pushing over a mini figure he has posed on the desk. His mouth hangs open, stopping himself from asking you to not do that. He watches as you turn and take a seat on his desk chair.
You look up at König as he towers over you. “You’re smart, right?”
“I guess.” König rubs the back of his neck feeling bashful.
“Well, I’m failing math, and I need a tutor. The issue is… well, I can’t afford one. So I was wondering if you could tutor me.”
This isn’t what he was expecting, well more of not what he hoped for. “I don’t have time to tutor. Sorry.”
Your smile drops and you stand up. “Too busy? You’re always in here building stupid fucking Legos or robot’s models.”
“Technically Gundam’s are mechs, not robots like a transformer.”
“Wow. Okay.” You sound annoyed and uninterested. “So, are you going to help me or not?”
“I already said I can’t.” His voice gets even more timid.
You’re not use to people saying no to you, especially not pathetic men who worship the ground you walk on. In fact, you hate being told no. How fucking dare he.
“So, you can sit and fucking gawk at me, stalk my social media accounts, but you can’t help me for a few fucking hours?” You push his muscular chest.
He stumbles backwards, actually intimidated by you. Speechless, he doesn’t know what to say. His eyes drop to your breasts as you keep walking to him. Not one thought in his mind other than how hot you look at this exact moment.
“I- I uh, I.”
“What? You forgot how to talk?” You push him once more and he falls back on to his bed. As soon as he does, your eyes drift down to the tent growing in his pants and you laugh. König’s eyes go wide as your hand reaches out, grasping his boner through his sweats; his face burning hot. He looks up at you in a daze.
“Oh, wow. Loser actually has a fat cock.” Your other hand grabs his jaw and forces him to look into your eyes. You lean in and lick from his lips to his nose before moving back and letting go of him.
König’s heart is fluttering in his chest, this feels like a dream. His eyes watch like a hungry dog as you pull your tight fitted shirt, unhooking your bra and tossing it aside. Your hands unbutton your jeans and expose a thin thong that barely covers your fat pussy lips.
“Why are you still dressed?” Your voice shocks him out of his daze.
Quickly, he pulls his shirt off. A ripped muscular body is not what you expected him to have under his baggy clothing. He drops his sweat pants along with his boxers allowing his cock to spring free. König, now nude, stands in front of you frozen. His gaze lingering on your pussy. You’re the first woman he’s seen naked in person.
“Do you have condoms?”
He looks at his bedside table, even though he is well aware he has none. “Um, no. I don’t.”
“I knew you were probably a virgin.” He blushes and looks down when you say this. You walk closer to him. “Are you?”
“Ja, I am.”
“No fucking wonder. Lay down.” You demand in a strict tone.
König jumps like a drill sergeant to yell at him. He quickly gets on his bed and looks at you. His cock twitching with excitement. You climb onto the bed with him, straddling his massive body. His hands instinctively rest on your thighs as you lean in and kiss his lips.
“How about I teach you—” You kiss him in between talking. “How to fuck—” His fingers squeeze your thighs. “And you tutor me?”
Without thinking, König nods his head enthusiastically.
“Good. We will start with math.” You giggle, reaching your hand behind his head to pull the pillows away from behind him.
König looks confused by your comment. Math? Then his eyes go wide as you straddle his face. Your twat lingers above him. He gazes up as if you’ve just shown him God. If he could take your scent and make air fresheners, he would. His cock is upright, erect, waiting to taste you.
“Stick your tongue out, big boy.” You lean forward and place your hands on his chest. One hand reaches forward and jerks his cock.
König sticks his tongue out eagerly, watching your body as you lower yourself onto his face. Your pussy rests on his mouth and nose, hips rocking back and forth on his tongue. His eyes flutter closed as he tastes pussy for the first time. How could he have lived this long without tasting this sweet nectar?
His fingers dig into your thighs as he pulls you down closer to his face. His tongue rapidly laps at your cunt, slurping and drinking your wetness. You moan, eyes closing as you continue to grind; he’s surprisingly skilled.
“You want me to suck your cock?”
“Ja, bitte.” He groans, his sound muffled from you sitting on his face.
Leaning forward, you pull his foreskin down and wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. He lets out a moan, his toes curling. Your hands move in motion with your head as you bob your head up and down on his cock. König moans into your sopping wet cunt. He’s in heaven.
König’s hips thrust forward to match your rhythm. One of his hands moves from your thigh up your body to squeeze your breast before roaming back down. When you pull your mouth away from his cock, he thrust forward even more, craving your friction. You lift yourself up off of him, his hands hold on to your thighs tighter as if trying to keep you on him. Reluctantly, he lets you go; swiping his tongue between your folds once more as you stand.
You move your body to the side of him. He watches you as he licks his lips, trying to savor the taste of you. The heat of your pussy radiates over your cock.
“You’re buying me a Plan B right after this.”
“I will.” His eyes are glued to yours.
Slowly you rock your hips over his cock before grasping it at the base. You look into his eyes as you lower yourself on him.
König’s mouth drops open and he lets out a loud groan. His eyes glued to your tight cunt stretching around his cock. He grabs at the blanket underneath him, squeezing it to the point his knuckles are turning white. He can’t last long in your pussy.
“Mein Gott, you- your pussy—” He can’t form a coherent sentence.
His hands reach out for your breasts as you bounce on him. You have the most incredible pair of tits he has ever seen. He’s always known you were hot, but seeing you like this, not even Aphrodite couldn't compare.
You slap away his hand and lean forward. “Grab my ass and fuck me.”
König nods, having seen this in porn before, he knows what to do. He thinks. His large hands grasp your fat ass and squeeze his fingers into the supple flesh; bending his legs at the knee, he begins to thrust up into you.
As he tries his hardest to not cum, his thrust is slow. He looks at the ceiling as his mind is running 110mph. You grab his jaw again, forcing him to look at you.
“Fuck me. Harder.” You demand of him.
“I don’t…want to hurt you.” He struggles to speak, looking up at you through half-lidded eyes.
“If you don’t fuck me hard, we are done here.”
König would not let his crush on the last two semesters just walk away, especially not since he got you to this part. Guys like him don’t get women like you. He grabs you and rolls you over on to the bed, slamming you down a little harder than he meant to. The look on your face tells him you didn’t mind one bit.
He grabs your hips and pulls you to him, slipping his cock back inside of your tight little cunny. You moan out as your hands grab his arms. König doesn’t hold back as he restricts your movements underneath him using his massive size. He pulls his hips back far before slamming down into you. His enormous cock being rammed deep inside of you, deeper than you can take.
“Oh, fuck! Like that you fucking freak!” You moan out.
König lets out a small growl as he ravishes your body, ruining your cunt for any other man. His mouth clashes into yours, desperate for your kiss. A trail of his hot wet kisses leaving from your mouth down to your breasts. He bites the skin around your areola, marking you as his for your stupid fuck buddy to see.
You push him back. “Rub my clit.” You reach for his hand and guide it so he knows where to touch. “Do small circles.”
He nods and begins to rub slowly at first until you yell at him to go faster. König lets out a surprised moan as he feels you tightening around him. Is this what a female orgasm is? Fuck yes! His hips faster, his rhythm slightly off as he tries to also focus on your clit.
“Don’t stop.” König watches in amazement as you arch your back and tremble. Your pussy becomes so wet it's splashing as he rubs it. He feels on top of the world.
Instantly, a loud pitched moan leaves his throat. A stupid smile crosses his face as he eyes go slightly crossed. He cums deep inside of your pussy. As his body naturally falls forward you push him off to the side.
König lays on his back, on cloud nine. His pale eyes study your face and your body as you lay beside him.
“So,” your breathing is still heavy, “I’ll come by tomorrow and we can start working on my tutoring.”
He nods, willing to give you anything you ask for at this point. Mentally, he is not over the fact he just ate and fucked y/n, you, your pussy.
You stand from the bed and begin to get dressed. Your cunt hurts, König fucks like a mating bull. He’s a good fuck though, there is not denying that.
“Oh, and if you tell anyone, you’re dead.”
“I understand.” König watches you as you get dressed with hearts in his eyes. “What are we?”
You stop and look at him for a moment before letting out a small laugh and shaking your head.
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aerinaga · 2 days
Text
ocean eyes pt. 1
paige bueckers x reader series
synopsis: your family tagging you along as chauffeurs with the divisions of the uconn basketball team won’t be that bad right? having to be stuck in disturbing (yet so tempting) tension with a blondie from the wbb team won’t make this 3-day trip go downhill…maybe?
warnings: none
your younger brother, nathan, is part of the uconn basketball team. he’s a sophomore at uconn, and he’s been doing great there. he tags you along during their games, even on their little parties, even with the uconn wbb team.
the women’s division in basketball is way more popular than what you thought. in fact, it’s way more popular than the mens team. you always laugh at the thought that the women’s team get way more girls than they do.
as the year is ending and summer is starting, all coaches in the basketball field have decided to go on a trip. this is gonna be the biggest trip ever, knowing that both men and womens division will be there.
your parents volunteered to chauffeur an extra vehicle. but being the independent you, you decided to take your own car too. you offered to be a chauffeur as well. you got caught up on your nerves since you would be meeting new people, but who knows? you might end up making good friends with the girls.
PRESENT TIME
it was 6am, everyone was gathered at uconn. cars were ready, luggages were everywhere, girls, and guys everywhere. your mind was still foggy, not being used to this early morning.
the coaches and parents were assigning the seating arrangements for the car rides. as you look at the list, paige bueckers is assigned to your car. her. you saw her often, at your brothers games. the both of you never really talked, only hi’s and heys at each other when your family greeted her.
there was always this tension between the both of you. the tension in where your lips might just crash at each other. besides the point, she is beautiful. you do have a thing for girls here and there, but she makes you so gay.
you can feel her piercing gaze at you. you can’t help but look back, her ocean eyes too beautiful to resist. you open your trunk for her to put your luggage in. kk, azzi, and ice were also joining in your car. you knew them well enough, excited for whats coming in the next days.
paige immediately took shotgun, connecting her phone to the aux because she claims that “she has the best music taste.” well what if she tasted good too?
it’s been 2 hours on the road, all 3 girls at the back were fast asleep. paige was awake, looking at the road ahead of her as the sun rises.
“do you wanna switch? i can drive too, we can pull up to the side.” paige talks to you quietly, not wanting to wake up the people at the back.
“no it’s okay, just keep the aux going. you do have good music taste like what people say.” you chuckle lightly, giving her a small smile as you look at her swiftly.
“i mean, it’s me. i have all kinds of music.” she shrugs her shoulders (🤷‍♀️).
you hum at her as an approval, focusing your attention on the road.
a few moments later, you hear her mumble something.
“what did you say? is there something wrong, p?” you don’t know how you got that nickname, instincts you guess.
“hmm nothing, you look pretty even if i can tell you’re tired. not used to waking up early huh?”
you blush at her comment, trying to keep in your smile.
after 4 hours on the road, the teams arrived at the resort. it was a beach resort, the sand was white, water was clear, the breeze just felt like summer. the coaches booked two villas, one for the men and the other for the women.
you don’t know how you ended up in a room with paige. well…at least the bed is a queen sized bed…? fuck.
you were in the room when paige suddenly walks in. you turn to look back at her, and you see her smirking.
“what? i didn’t choose this arrangement” you huff, feeling teased by paige. paige laughs, putting her luggage down to go closer to you.
she walks closer to you, grabbing you by the waist.
“maybe you just can’t resist me, baby.” she whispers.
“or maybe, YOU can’t resist me, p.” you move your face closer to hers.
the space between the both of you is so little, lips so close to touching each other.
before you could do anything, kk barges in the room.
a/n: HALUUU 😙 send me in messages and tell me how you like it! send requests too.
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daenysx · 21 hours
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Heyy! ♡ Idk if you take nsfw requests (and if you don't that's perfectly fine), but could you possibly write a fic where Aemond comforts reader in their bed leading up to more after hearing rumours about Alys but reassuring her that they're not true?
i'm taking nsfw requests, thank you for requesting angel!! i hope you enjoy this ♡ requests are open
modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, smut
aemond presses a kiss to your knee and suddenly you forget what you say.
"you know." he starts. "you know you're the only one."
you shake your head, your head on pillow with your leg in his hand.
"there's no one but you." he says again. "how can there be when i'm literally wrapped around your finger, huh?"
he kisses your thigh until he reaches the waistband of your tiny shorts. you cup his cheek with the last piece of strength you have. "that's not what they say, aemond."
aemond places himself on top of you gracefully, his face right in front of yours. "look at me, sweetheart." he whispers. "you know me. you know what you mean to me. do i look like i'd thrown everything i have with you just to have an affair with that woman just like they say? i'm not a fucking idiot nor a cheater."
your hand lingers on his cheek. "i know you." you start. "but i don't want people to spread rumors about you, about us like this. i don't want them to picture you and alys in their heads as if you're-"
"shh." aemond whispers. "i know."
he kisses your lips lightly. "people will talk. i can't always stop their words but- i can prove you how wrong they are."
you lean in to kiss him, he accepts the kiss greedily. he holds the back of your head, deepens the kiss. you close your eyes to him, you want to forget everything you heard, everything you saw. you believe in aemond and your love but you're frustrated with people's boldness, how can they claim to know anything about your relationship? how can they try to spread false information about your boyfriend?
aemond breaks the kiss, he spreads your legs with kind hands. he leans into your belly, his breath warms your skin. "it looks like my pretty girl needs some convincing, yeah?" he whispers against your cunt, his voice makes your head spin. he kisses your belly. his kisses draw a line from your belly to your cunt, his lips curve upwards when you squirm.
he takes off your shorts quickly, you put your calves back on his shoulders. he looks like a statue, all muscular and flawless. his hair tickles the skin of your thighs as he leans more, his chin grazes the top of your cunt and you arch your back.
"relax." he says. "i'll make you feel good."
"i know." you mumble. it's not the first time he eats you out, definitely will not be the last with the enthusiasm he shows towards the act. he brushes a slow kiss on your skin to start and brings his fingers to your center.
"aemond-" you whisper when he spreads you open. he looks pleased, you can almost feel how you drip down on the sheets. you squirm under his touch again, he gives you a lick to begin with.
"please." you say when he doesn't continue. you push your hips against his lips. "please, please."
he likes the teasing part the most, the slow and cautious seconds to get you where he wants. he opens his mouth to catch your wetness, you take a deep breath when his warm tongue licks your skin. you let out a moan of his name, he's so fucking good at it. it's maddening, so insane; the thought of him doing this to another woman. there are people out there who believes this shit?
aemond starts sucking your swollen bud, his fingers keep playing with you at the same time. you lift your head from the pillow, your hand goes to aemond's head to keep him still. he hums against you, such a pleasent sound. he doesn't move his head, his tongue is warm as he keeps licking your wetness.
"aemond-" you start, his two fingers find your g-spot and you feel him press against it relentlessly. you are really close to lose yourself, the wet sounds coming from between your legs increase and your heart beats faster.
your boyfriend has always been a quick learner, he is the most ambitious person you know and when he wants to be good at something he doesn't stop. sometimes you think he knows your body better than you. he reaches the places you can't reach by yourself with his long fingers, his fingertips press gently but firmly against your skin.
"please- i can't-" you mumble incoherently. aemond looks up to you, his eye glints with a burning desire. his tongue keeps your clit between his lips at he keeps stroking your g-spot, you make a loud noise when he stops suddenly.
"what-"
"come for me." he says firmly. he sucks your clit once again, his fingers inside you. "now."
you are on the edge of insanity, clenching hard around his fingers as you come. it's both a relief and madness, the way he holds you when your sight goes blank, how he presses himself to bed just to give himself a second to focus on you. he is undeniably hard but he has a point to prove.
you lay on bed, eyes closed and body limp. the stress and frustration coming with those rumors were hard on you, you can't even lift your head to see aemond. he kisses your thighs as you come down from your high, he lays next to you. his eye looks at your relaxed face with the hope of affection.
"i never wanted you to hear them." he says lowly. "i don't want them to ruin what we have."
you manage to turn to your side. opening your arms, leading him towards your chest to put his head on your shoulder. he wraps his arms around you in a second, kisses the soft skin of your neck as he inhales your scent.
aemond sounds a bit more terrified than he aims to show. sometimes it feels like you are the only thing in his life that makes sense, he looks at you and can't believe his luck. the thought of your relationship could be ruined because of some stupid business dinner he had with alys rivers makes him sick to his stomach. don't they see how he looks at you? his eye sparks every time you enter a room. he would give anything and everything you ask from him, only to see you smile to his direction.
he has fallen hard for you and selfishly he wants to keep you to himself. he keeps the details of your relationship secret mostly to keep you from harm. maybe that's not enough. maybe he should let everyone know. he doesn't know what to do, right this moment in your arms, it's only your warmth and your lips against his skin that he can think about.
"it's not your fault." you say, playing with his hair. "i shouldn't let these rumors affect me. i think i was- caught off guard. it's not that i believe into their words it's just- the thought of you and her."
aemond wrinkles his nose. "there's no such a thing, my love." he rubs his nose to your skin. "please."
"i know." you say when his arms tightens around you. "i believe in you, only you."
aemond's heart takes a leap every time you say something precious like this to him. he'll hold onto that feeling no matter what happens. god knows it's the only think that keeps him sane these days.
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nan0ka · 1 day
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𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇♡𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄. ⁰¹
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summary. he's like a living legend. but he still has only eyes for you. crazy, right?
content. highschool au, fluff, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, umemiya may seem ooc, little angst.
wordcount.
❨📁❩ ← previous. ❨🗂️❩ → masterlist. ❨📁❩ → next.
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 TIREDLY you yawned as you stared at the two lonesome figures infront of the gate, silently wondering what they're talking about while you waited for a certain swept-back white-haired boy. Now you were pretty damn curious, but you have an Idea about the main theme of their conversation. You watched as he turned his back to her and started to walk up to you. Only to be stopped by a little yell from the persistent girl.
Your head went up to the someone who stood infront of your table as you were seated on your chair. You slowly stopped doodling all over your notebook while waiting for the girl to speak up her issue. No way in hell would she want to voluntarily talk to you. Because you recognized her as one of your classmate you don't have much contact with. So why is she standing there silently?
"Is there something I can help you with?" you spoke up first, impatiently waiting for her to say anything.
"O-Oh. [lastname]-san. I heard you are a good friend of Umemiya-san, so I wanted to ask you if you can... introduce me to him." her gaze was everywhere but on you.
But you couldn't blame her. You literally drilled two holes in her head with your [e/c]-colored eyes. And after hearing her reason to approach you, you deadpanned at the mention of his name before sighing out tired. This isn't the first time someone approached you to ask about that white-haired guy. Even people you never saw in your entire life reached out to you to meet him or to get a glance at him.
Was he some kind of legend or what?
If you answer no then she'd probably keep pestering you to meet him, you know with only one look. Another sigh left your lips as you stared at the clock. "Yeah sure." you muttered, watching how her eyes lit up and how she began to wear a bright smile. Just when you thought you were done with school and thought you can stay longer to doodle in your notebook, this girl came into the picture and ruined your plans.
Maybe if you've stayed a bit longer to do your own things, he would've gone home by himself. But as soon as you looked out the window, you grimaced slightly. "Ah. I thought wrong again." you turned away and packed up your things. Damn yourself for thinking like a naiv child. And damn him for not leaving you alone. "What did I ever do wrong to deserve this. Luck is never on my side..."
“—Umemiya-san, please let me thank you.”
The white-haired boy let out a melodic chuckle as he waves his hands around. He looked at the girl who was bowing down for saving her from some creeps last time. "Oh no. I did something natural as a Bofurin member. No need to thank me for it, really!" he smiled at her. The sun was shining down, but it pretty looked much like the rays of sunlight were only meant for him.
She stood up straight again to look at him again. The grip around her schoolbag was getting tighter. "No! I don't know how I'd end up if it wasn't for you. I really want to thank you somehow. Uhm— I heard you like the Café Potos. Maybe I can invite you to a meal?" she offered with her rosy cheeks. The man infront of her was really handsome. And it was hard for her to not blush around him.
"Please don't waste your money on me." he still wore the smile, his eyes softened. "Well then."
With that he turned his back to her. But she immediately got panic as she reached out for him. "Wait please!" she yelled, making him stop as he turned around again. "M-May I get your contact info?" she asked timmidly, holding up her cute decorated phone. "I... really wanna stay in contact, you know?.." she added, looking away to avoid meeting his eyes. The hot feeling in her stomach made her feel like exploding anytime.
"I'm sorry." Umemiya got the hint and apologized with slight frown. "There's a woman I already like."
"Oh." she froze on her spot, the hot feeling of embarrassment grew as she lowered her gaze.
"I've liked her for a long time. I don't think I'll fall out of love..." he explained, rubbing his neck. "I'm really sorry."
Blue eyes landed on his own hand. On top of his palm is a pressed withered flower, now a part of his necklace. The flower which was once a rose with a beautiful light-pink color. A memory of a bewitching, beautiful lady flashed in his mind. Shining [h/c] hair. Glittering [e/c] eyes. A graceful girl watering her pretty plants in the garden. But no flower can match her beauty at all. He'll never forget that.
With that being said, he turned around again and slowly made his way to you. His frown immediately was replaced with the happiest smile as he quickly ran towards you with open arms, attempting to let you feel his warmth and wrap his arms around your body. "Gross." you furrowed your eyebrows and dodged. "You dare to keep me waiting and now you want to hug me? Yeah, no way."
"Awh! [name]-chan, don't be like that!" he smiles at you brightly. "You're so mean!"
"Yeah of course. I just have something against you." you shrugged your shoulders and began to walk away.
"[name]-chan, don't leave me! I need to show you my cute little plants!"
The left behind girl stared at the boy who, just seconds ago, seemed like an independent man follow you with his phone in his hands while you calmly walked down the sidewalk, not really interested in whatever he was showing you. You, the girl who despises violence hanging up with the leader of Bofurin? You, the girl who always stood in the background. What kind of joke is this.
She noticed. You're the woman he talked about.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
  "You know. One day if your girlfriend sees how you keep clinging onto me, she wouldn't be happy about that." you sighed for the nth time this day.
"What am I hearing? Are you worried about my future girlfriend not liking you?" he tilted his head to the side.
"No, i'm just saying so you'll stop sticking  against me." you said without taking a glance at him. "Aren't you worried about your love life?"
"Nah, i'm in love with the most beautiful woman on earth."
As soon as he said that, you pulled out your phone and began tipping before stopping to show him your phone. "It is said that Bella Hadid is the most beautiful woman in the world." you showed your search results. He froze and stared at you while sweatdropping. "I don't think you're in your crush's league." you sighed. "Please give her up, yeah? Crush on someone else, Umemiya."
"Please..." he smiled at you again and gave you his hand. "Call me by my first name. And give me the answer. Taking my hand is yes, rejecting means no."
You eyed his calloused, rough hand. It's a bit dirty. Was it the soil from gardening? Or was it dirt from fighting? You don't really like to touch dirty things. At all. You were a bit of a germophobe when it came to touching things. So you hesitated. But in the end you lifted your hand and placed it on top of his, while your gaze laid on your now interwined hands. His hand was warm compared to your cold one.
"Hajime." his given name rolled out your tongue smoothly.
The excitment was visible on his face, as he bit his quivering lip. The smile grew to the biggest and brightest one. "Yeah?" he lifted his eyes from your hands and to look at your rather stoic face. The warm sun engulfed your both figures into it's depth, while the wind was blowing gently, letting your hair dance with it's rhythms. Perfectly in harmony with the shining. The silence was bearable, comfortable even.
"Is there anyone else who gets to call you by your first name?" you asked quietly.
"No. Nobody does. They call me by my nickname »Ume« or »Ume-chan«. Why?"
"Just wanted to make sure that I'm the first one." you answered before turning away. "I'm pretty special, aren't I?"
"Yeah, of course you are." only you can let him feel the same fuzzy feeling, of course you're special.
"Sometimes I wonder how you can keep up with this. Me." you're pointing at yourself, at your stoic personality as you kept walking further, him following after you.
"Don't know. You're special." he still smiles happily. He always smiles. But that's fine. You can always look at him, and he would look at you with the same warmth. He is much more special. More than you'll ever be.
"[name]." he called out your name.
"Hmm?"
"Do you like yourself?"
"Most of the time."
"Then you don't need to worry about my girlfriend not liking you."
"What? I think she'll hate me for touching your hand first."
"Uh huh. Sure."
At this reply, you furrowed your eyebrows slightly and your eyes went to him. He was still looking at you while following every step. "What are you even talking about, stupid?" you sighed. "Sometimes you're talking bullshit." and weirdly enough, you like to listen to his rant about—he can rant about anything and you'll listen, even though you don't understand. You avoided his stare.
While his eyes never left you, not even for a second.
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- NAN0KA [ may 30th, 2024 ]
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jrow · 3 days
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May Prompts (28)
Day 27 here. Start from the beginning here.
Empty
He stares at the empty box.
Sherlock isn’t saying anything.
Sherlock opened the gift a good two minutes ago and still hasn’t said a word.
He watched Sherlock for the first minute or so, and saw only a blank expression. So now, he stares at the empty box because he’s terrified about what that blank expression means.
God, he had been so relieved that this was finally happening. His plan coming to fruition. He wanted to wait until Rosie was having her nap for obvious reasons but the past few hours have been excruciating. To be honest, it had taken quite a bit of will power not to thrust the gift in Sherlock’s face the second they arrived at Baker Street.
The hopeful glances from Molly this afternoon hadn’t helped.
But, he made it. And a few minutes ago, Sherlock removed the paper, opened the box, and pulled out the silent violin, various accessories and case. And then said nothing.
So, John is staring at the empty box. He was wrong, the wait this afternoon was a cake walk compared to this.
Finally, after another minute of silence, he looks up tentatively. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief at what he sees.
Sherlock, standing perfectly still, staring at the instrument in his hand.
This is an expression he’s seen before—back when he asked Sherlock to be his best man. It’s a sort of far away look that means Sherlock isn’t angry or busy thinking of how to weasel his way out of this conversation. It’s a look that means Sherlock has made a deduction he can’t quite believe.
It’s time to force Sherlock to say that deduction out loud. Make it real.
“Happy birthday, finally. What do you think?”
“It’s a silent violin.”
“Yes.”
“Top of the line. The London Philharmonic violinists use these to practice.”
“That’s what I was told.”
“You like when I play my violin.”
“Very much.”
“And Rosie loves it.”
“Yes.”
“So, this isn’t a gift for when you are here during the day.”
“Course not, you have your Strat.”
“And, if there is no one to disturb, I can play my Strat at night.”
“True.”
“Mrs. Hudson can’t hear it from her flat.”
“Hmmm.”
“I would only need a silent violin if there was someone else here at night. Sleeping.”
“Yes.”
“Your old room—it’s Rosie’s now.”
“Absolutely.”
“We made that decision during the rebuild. A child’s room. She naps there sometimes. Plays there a lot.”
“Yes, she loves it.”
“Your old bed and dresser are gone. The room upstairs just has a little toddler bed and that child-sized table and chairs. And toys.”
“That’s true.”
“Plus the bookshelf Mycroft made but pretended he bought. All the books he filled it with.”
“Yes. It’s the perfect room for her.
“We could fit a little dresser in there but not much else.”
“No. That’s all she needs though.”
“You can’t sleep there. Couldn’t sleep there.”
“No, it’s Rosie’s room.”
“You can’t sleep on the couch in here either. It would have been awful for your shoulder before your fall. Now it’s out of the question.”
“Agreed.”
“If Rosie is sleeping here regularly, I could use the silent violin so I don’t wake her.”
“Yes. Every night.”
“But that means you would be sleeping here too.”
“Of course.”
“You would need to sleep in a bed. That only leaves one option.”
A deep breath. “Correct.”
“Well, two options. But, you would never ask me to move from here.”
“Course not. This is your home.”
A pause.
“People would talk.”
“Good. I’d expect no less.”
Another pause.
“You have assumed I am gay for some time now.”
“Yes. Is that assumption correct?”
“Yes.” A sharp inhale. “I have assumed you are not entirely straight from the beginning.”
“I think that’s a fair way of putting it.”
“You rebuked people when they assumed we were a couple.”
“I did. Years ago. Haven’t for some time now. You said you were married to your work, but that’s not true anymore either, is it?” He knows he needs to push Sherlock, just a bit.
It works. Sherlock shakes his head, as if coming out of a daze. “I … what’s that?”
He blushes. Sherlock has spotted the case. Was that too sentimental? “It’s errr…the case. For the violin.”
Sherlock slowly runs his hands over it. “It’s her handprint.”
“Errr … yeah. I know pink isn’t exactly your thing, but I let her pick.”
“Her hand is so small.”
“Yeah. But soon it won’t be.” He takes a deep breath. “Thought it would be a nice snapshot of how small she was when she moved in. Because I hope we’ll be here for … well, as long as you’re here.” In for a penny. “If you’ll have us. If you’ll have me.” He smiles. “If there’s space for me in the room down the hall. ‘Cause you’re it for me, Sherlock. I think you always have been.” A feeling of relief washes over him. Whatever happens, at least it’s all in the open now. At least the box is empty.
A long pause. “I think I am going to faint,” Sherlock finally says and then promptly crumbles to the floor.
@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty @quimerasyutopias
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witchpassing · 2 days
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interview_3aC
I got into piloting during the Third Generation. For the historically illiterate, that’s before the breakpoint, not after. Summer Offensive, Chelsk Offensive, ‘81, ‘82… All that shit.
When you say pilot now, people get a certain mental image. It wasn’t like that, back then; end of the day, a G3 frame is basically just another kind of tank. Hot like hell inside and full analogue control. You had to think five, six, seven seconds ahead sometimes, because that’s how long it’d take you to string together the inputs for what you were doing next.
I was good. I mean, I’m good at my job now, sure, but… you should’ve fuckin’ seen me then.
... Anyway. Long and short of it is, I got unlucky. Everyone does, sooner or later. Coterie railcannon caved in part of my cockpit, crushed my leg to dogmeat, and that was that. A few years later, they’d have amputated, plugged in a spare, and sent me back in, but this was ‘83, the tech wasn’t there yet. We were hearing about it, you know, shit on the grapevine about the brain-machine barrier, weird tests underground out in Lysk, but I don’t think any of us really believed in it.
I wanna say I knew what was coming, but I didn’t. Nobody did.
So. Cockpit breach. Fucked leg. They did a lot of work, got it to where I could walk on a good day, but it was obvious I wasn’t gonna cut it any more. Took my pension, checked out, spent eight years in the worst dyke bars I could find. Don’t really wanna talk about that part. That’s not what you’re here for, anyway.
So I’m a few years down the line, losing my mind somewhere in Sengrade, and I get a call. It’s this guy I used to know, I never really nailed down what he did, Information maybe, and he’s telling me about this program they’re spinning up over in Lysk, and sure that rings some alarm bells but what am I gonna do, say no? I don’t even need to hear the specifics, he’s trying to tell me it’s the next big jump in frame tech, it’s gonna win us the war, whatever, I’m already halfway onto a train.
The job turned out to be the Fifth Generation. Not only was the brain-machine barrier real, but they’d smashed clean through it. I said a G3 is basically a tank, right? So I was expecting an iteration on the form. Sharper, sleeker sure, but at the end of the day just a prettier-looking tank.
Well, I was dead fuckin’ wrong. Seeing something that size move that way, it’s… I don’t think I can put it into words. Go find a poet or something. Ask them what they think about Gen 5.
… Didn’t come for free, of course. The neural throughput on a machine that size will cook an unprepared brain like a fuckin’ egg. You need to be dosed to the gills on a whole cocktail of ten-syllable shit to take it for more than a few minutes, and the drugs make you weird. Horny, mostly - I’m sure you’ve heard about that - but you’re also looking at impaired impulse control, difficulty with long-term thinking, emotional disregulation, mania… Plus, there’s something in the cocktail or the link or both that is bastard habit-forming. You see them counting the hours between sorties. They adjust to the hyperstimulation, get calibrated to it, and then everything else is just too god-damn quiet.
Think maybe it’s carcinogenic, actually, but you didn’t hear that from me.
So, yeah. Weird. Command doesn’t want weird operating superweaponry. Weird doesn’t make sound tactical decisions. Which means all the shit that makes somebody a functioning soldier - the long-term decision making, the impulse control, the ability to give a fuck about the rules of engagement - it had to be outsourced.
The term they used at first was “special consultant”. Then “special consulting officer”, once we hit field testing. It wasn’t “handler” until later.
The first crop of us - I’m just gonna say handlers, I know how you’re gonna wanna spin this, I get it - were all ex-pilots. G3, mostly; Gen 4 didn’t leave a lot of material to work with. I guess the idea was we were the closest you could get to a G5 candidate’s frame of reference, but it was pretty clear within the first few months that that was bullshit. Some of us took to it, some of us washed out. A lot couldn’t take the wetwork, which I guess I can sympathise with.
Me, I handled it fine. Better than I should’ve, maybe. Being a tanker didn’t do shit for me, but my dad, he was a dog trainer, and… Yeah, well, you get the idea.
… No, no. The other kind of wetwork. You know what I mean.
The leg? Ha. Yeah, they offered me a prosthetic. ‘Course they did. But, call me a hypocrite, whatever you want - by that point I was six months in and I knew with total fuckin’ certainty I didn’t want the link. I spend enough of my time helping the military put their shit into peoples’ bodies, you know? I don’t want it walking home with me.
… No, I don’t understand why they keep signing up. Early days, sure, nobody knew what it did to you back then, but there’s been leaks, people’ve talked - hell, I’m talking right now. You can find our burnouts in any dive in the country, or what's fuckin' left of them. The candidates now, they know what we do to people here, and they just keep coming, and coming…
Though, you know… I think sometimes about the first time I saw a Gen 5 machine take off, that first day on the program. The way it moved against the blue-black of the sky, like it weighed nothing at all. And I almost get it.
108 notes · View notes
peachhcs · 3 days
Text
love is never logical
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
when will decides he wants to sign on with the sharks he quickly becomes scared of the distance. everything changes when will breaks up with samy thinking it's for their own good
2.5k words
warnings: angst, crying, breakup, will being insecure about his relationship and his boyfriend abilities
y'all, you knew this one was immediately coming. samy and will's breakup era has begun! stay tuned to more of this era that i have ahead which is full of angst (but i will still write happy samy and will in between these posts if people request or if i'm feeling happy lol) will signing to the sharks so soon feels crazy
au masterlist
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something in will’s mind has been swimming nonstop since he returned from worlds. nothing yet everything made sense and the hockey player nearly wanted to throw up because of it all. the food offerings from his mom kept getting rejected because putting food in his body would most definitely come back up five minutes later. he’s never been so nauseous before, but the things running through his brain caused everything to spiral. 
with his knees pulled to his chest, will sat out on the back steps of his house, face buried in his arms trying to set his brain right. the back door slid open and soft footsteps filled the dull silence all the way to where the boy perched himself. 
“hey, you okay? i’ve been looking all over for you,” samy’s gentle voice filled his ears. when will didn’t meet her gaze, she slid in beside him with a soft hand falling across his back. 
“will?” 
he knew she’d be happy for him. she was going to be ecstatic once she found out, but that was what will hated. 
he was going all the way across the country, leaving his friends and family behind, and no matter how hurt samy might be, she would still be happy for him. because that’s who she was and will knew that, but he just couldn’t stomach the idea that he was leaving her after not even dating for a whole year yet. 
he was going to be across the entire country from her. how was he supposed to be her boyfriend being that far away? michigan and boston were way different from michigan and california. 
all of this sent poor will into a spiral he felt like he was being sucked into. 
“will, talk to me. are you okay?” samy spoke again when she continued getting no responses. 
he finally met her gaze. her eyes were soft with worry that something was seriously wrong and that alone made will want to sink away. when samy saw her boyfriend’s expression her worry deepend. she’d never seen him look like that before. 
“i’m signing,” the boy finally managed in a near whisper. 
a beat of silence passed through the couple as samy processed his words and will anxiously awaited her reaction. 
“you’re gonna sign on with the sharks?” samy asked just to clarify what he was trying to tell her. 
the blonde nodded, his eyes searching hers furiously like she was going to explode at him or something (even though he knew she wouldn’t). 
“like now?” the girl continued with her questions just to make sure she was getting everything correct. 
“in two days, i’m signing,” will said. 
another beat of silence passed between them before samy’s features morphed into what looked like pure happiness. she tackled will into a large hug that almost sent both of them flying off the porch. 
“i’m so happy for you! congratulations! this is so big. when did you decide?” her lips beamed into a smile that made the blonde feel even guiltier. 
“i knew before going to worlds. probably since like the end of the season,” will’s mind has been on signing since the end of the college season. he always knew what the choice was even when he said he didn’t know yet. 
“wow, this is big. i’m really proud of you,” samy rubbed his arm with the large smile still on her face. he studied her face as if he was looking for the disappointment, but it wasn’t there. just pure happiness for him. 
will sat in silence for a moment wondering if he should really do this. he’d been rolling over the idea for days since he got back from worlds knowing what was coming. it’ll be better this way. that’s what he kept telling himself in hopes that he’d believe it. 
in his mind, samy deserved someone who could be there for her all the time. not a guy who was away all the time and couldn’t ever show up for her things because hockey took up all of his time. 
he knew samy didn’t care, but it wasn’t fair to her that she went to his things and he couldn’t even be there for her. she deserved someone a lot better than what he could give. 
“you don’t seem as happy about this,” samy commented after sitting in will’s silence. all of her attention was on him and she knew there was something on his mind just based on the way he curled in on himself. 
“no, no, i am. i just.. i need to talk to you about something,” the boy began knowing that if he didn’t say this now, he never would. 
“okay,” the girl shifted, but she kept her gaze on her boyfriend. 
“i don’t..i don’t know if i can do long distance anymore,” will spit it all out in one go. saying it made him grimace as he watched the smile fall from samy’s lips. 
“w-what?” 
“i don’t think we should like..be together anymore,” he couldn’t go back now. not when he already said it. 
“wait, i’m confused. are you–are you saying we should break up?” the way samy drew away from him broke will’s heart, but he kept his composure. 
“i just..i just don’t know how easy it will be with me in california and you in michigan. it’s way different than michigan and boston,” he watched all of the color drain from her face and for a moment will knew he shouldn’t have done this, but he couldn’t go back. 
plus, if kept telling himself it was better for both of them, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. 
“i-i don’t understand. distance has never been an issue for us. now it is?” 
“i’m gonna be all the way in california, samy. it’s not just a two week development camp anymore. that’s my life now. i-i can’t be the boyfriend you need me and want me to be all the way in california,” will shook his head, avoiding eye contact because if he looked at her, he’d break. 
“will, it’s not..i’ve never thought you were a bad boyfriend while you were in boston. it’s not gonna change,” samy tried, but he wasn’t gonna let her through. 
“but it will. everything’s gonna change, samy. we probably won’t be able to see one another until..fucking summer. that’s not a relationship. i-i can’t do that to you or me,” will argued back as the youngest hughes’ face fell. 
“so you’re saying this isn’t worth it to you anymore? i’m not worth it to you to do long distance?” she drew back almost completely, face becoming hard. 
will looked at her since the first time he started this. the expression on her face broke him, but he wouldn’t let his tears fall. not like this in front of her. 
“yeah. i can’t..i can’t be in a relationship when i only get to see you for three months in the summer. it was hard enough this past year,” will mumbled as he looked away again. 
a large tension-filled silence swirled between them. samy studied the blonde, her best friend, for a long time wondering if he was actually being serious becaus she really couldn’t believe it. 
“so everything that happened between us—the facetime calls, the dates, all of it meant nothing to you? absolutely nothing?” 
will’s jaw clenched. of course it meant everything to him, but he couldn’t string samy along like this with him. he had to let her go for the sake of both of them. 
“yeah.” 
“fuck you. i never wanna see you again. enjoy your new fucking life in california,” samy stormed back inside before will could say anything else. 
as soon as the door slammed shut, the tears in the blonde’s eyes started falling. he buried his head back into his arms and now he really felt like throwing up. 
it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. 
if he kept saying that, maybe it’d make everything in his heart stop hurting so much. 
he heard voices inside and then there was a door and then there was the sound of a car starting. the next time the back door opened, grace rushed out towards her brother when she saw him curled up on the step. 
“will! what happened? samy’s leaving,” she rushed to his side. 
“i know,” the boy said through his cries. 
“what happened? did something happen?” she grew worried for her brother who she’s rarely seen cry. 
“i broke up with her,” will said and now it was grace’s face to fall. 
“what? why? i thought you guys were doing good?” the older smith sibling frowned. she knew how much her brother and samy liked one another, so she didn’t get what could make them breakup. 
“i-i just couldn’t do it with us being so far away. i mean she doesn’t deserve a boyfriend who’s only half there for her. i can’t be there for her,” will shook in his head still in tears. 
“oh, will. come here,” grace pulled him into her arms and that’s when the boy began sobbing. 
— 
samy pulled into ryan’s driveway at almost 11. after rushing out of will’s, the first place she thought to go was ryan’s even if the drive was an hour and a half long. she just couldn’t be at that house anymore. 
the girl stumbled her way to the front door where she rang the doorbell and shivered from the cool breeze blowing through the air. the heavy wood swung open a moment later to a very confused ryan when he saw samy. 
“samy? what are you—” he cut himself off when he saw her puffy cheeks and teary eyes. “what happened? are you okay?” when his voice softened samy lost it again as her tears restarted. 
she fell into the boy’s arms in sobs. ryan, who still didn’t understand what was happening, drew his arms around her small frame in a tight hug. he glanced behind his shoulder to julianne who stood a few feet away, concern also written on her features. 
“talk to me, hughesy. what happened?” ryan tried again as he pulled the girl back. 
“will broke up with me.” 
ryan’s eyes widened at the revelation. he looked back at his girlfriend again who looked equally surprised. 
“what?” 
after that, ryan urged the poor girl in before she got even colder. julianne quickly wrapped samy into a blanket as she sat her down on the couch. her cries turned into little whimpers as samy attempted to compose herself. 
“i’m sorry, i should’ve told you i was coming. i was just so.. so lost. i don’t know,” the brunette mumbled out a weak apology, but ryan shook his head. 
“stop, don’t apologize. why did he break up with you?” ryan urged, knowing he was going to call will as soon as samy explained what happened. 
“i don’t really know. he just said long distance wasn’t worth it anymore and he couldn’t do it,” samy shrugged, still not completely comprehending all of it. 
“jesus christ. he’s so fucking dumb. i’ll talk to him,” ryan angrily shook his head while reaching for his phone, but samy stopped him. 
“don’t. i told him i never wanted to see him again. if he feels that way, then fuck him,” the girl’s voice turned bitter. ryan and julianne exchanged another worried glance, but neither of them said anything. 
they both knew this was bad and ryan was most definitely going to call will later. 
later that night when samy fell asleep in the comfort of julianne’s arms, ryan disappeared to his room to call his friend to give it to him. will’s phone buzzed by his head and he saw ryan’s name flash across the screen. the blonde pushed himself up, sliding right knowing leno never called him unless it was something serious. 
“what the fuck did you do?” ryan started, not even a hello or a how are you. 
“what?” 
“do not say what right now, smith. tell me why samy drove an hour and a half to my house in tears saying you broke up with her?” ryan’s anger didn’t dissipate. his rough tone had will grimacing. 
“she’s there?” the blonde’s voice softened out. when he went to check samy’s location she had already turned it off for him. 
“yes, she’s here and i thought something really bad happened when i saw her tears. what the hell has gotten into you? i thought you guys were like in love with each other?” 
“i’m gonna sign,” will blurted out nervously. 
the boy on the other end fell silent for a moment, “to the sharks?” 
“yeah. in two days,” the blonde nodded. 
“what does that have to do with you breaking up with your best friend?” ryan still didn’t get it nor did he think he’d ever get will’s fucked up reasoning. 
“that’s the whole point, ry. i’m signing which means i’m moving my entire life to california. i can’t be a boyfriend from fucking california,” will frowned even though ryan couldn’t see it. 
“who said that? yes you can. you guys literally did long distance this past year? what’s so different about this?” 
“i wasn’t even there for her. i couldn’t because of hockey. she doesn’t deserve some half-assed boyfriend. she deserves someone who can be there for her and that can’t be me. not when we’re across the country from each other and i’m not gonna see her until summers now. i can’t do that to her, ry,” will’s voice broke for the first time since the two started talking. ryan backed off a little when he heard his friend’s voice. 
“you know she doesn’t care about that, will,” ryan’s tone softened out finally. 
“which is why i had to break up with her before we really hurt each other.” 
“i think you already did your damage, will. she’s really beat up about this. you should talk to her,” the brunette tried, but will’s head shook. 
“i can’t. it’s done. i have to let her go.” 
“dude, you can’t actually think that. she’s with you until the end of the line. she has been since you were kids. what happened to that whole thing where you guys promised you’d be friends even if things went bad?” ryan reached for anything at this point because he didn't want to see his friends like this. not when he watched them pine over one another for two years. not when he’s seen how much samy and will loved one another. 
“i gotta go, ry. i’m sorry,” will said because he couldn’t be pulled back in. he had to do this and no one was gonna change his mind. his thumb pressed the end call button before ryan could argue more with him. 
a broken sigh left will’s lips and in the very, very back of his mind, he knew he made the wrong choice on this one, but now it was too late. 
samy was gonna find a great guy at michigan who’d be the perfect boyfriend will could never be for her.
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trans-androgyne · 2 days
Note
but what is WRONG about the statement “men and masculinity are privileged above women and femininity, so transmascs must be privileged above transfems”? that is sound logic, and it’s not disconnected from reality, because reality supports the idea that men and masculinity are privileged above women and femininity. even among trans people. that statement means “there is a particular scrutiny and struggle that women face that men do not”, not “men and masculine people aren’t ever oppressed and trans men don’t experience transphobia”. you seem to think that the issue is that not enough transfems/people are listening to what transmascs are saying about their own experiences, but when it comes to transfems talking about how their experiences with oppression are more severe, it’s perfectly ok for you to not listen to them?
Incorrect. The reality is that isn’t true for everyone, which is what we’ve been trying to demonstrate over and over. “Men and masculinity are privileged” when it’s cis men. Masculinity and identification with manhood is not encouraged above femininity for women or people believed to be women. Femininity for me would be gender conformity. Masculinity makes me transgender. And we are kicked in the teeth for it constantly, by both cis people and our own queer/trans community. All the worst stereotypes of both men and women are applied to us, as is true for trans women. If that supposedly common sense logic copy + pasted from narrow cisfeminist understandings were to be taken literally, transmascs would be privileged over cis women too gender-wise because masculinity is privileged over femininity, and we just Happen to experience transphobia with zero gendered oppression.
I am listening. I have been listening and agreeing and supporting for years and years and years. But other people speaking up made me realize my problems mattered too even if they didn’t fit into the narrative. And now this is my response. Now I want to be heard. I am telling you that my masculinity—my queer, my trans masculinity—is not fucking privileged above shit. I was nearly kicked out over it; I have been made to feel like I am ugly, worthless, and an inherently worse person for it; I am excluded from spaces I need resources from for it; I feel invisible in my community for it. Queer/trans masculinity gets you fucking harassed and assaulted — ask butches! Ask transmascs who don’t pass! Or the stealth ones who suddenly fail to, a nightmare situation for many of us. Look at the numbers for me — trans men and transmasc non-binary people have the highest rates of sexual assault of any gender category. It can and does happen to many due to being transmasc (including someone I know personally) even sometimes taking the route of corrective rape with the intention of “detransitioning” them. I feel less safe since I’ve started transitioning, not more. Before, I wondered if I was being stared at since I was pretty and had long hair. I would get catcalled. It felt gross. Now I wonder if I’m being stared at because I’m visibly queer. I still get catcalled. I feel less gross and more afraid.
We also experience things transfems and cis women don’t! “There is a particular scrutiny and struggle that trans men and mascs face that other people (typically) do not” that’s precisely what I have been trying to convey. And that’s exactly what our tag is full of. The belief that our oppression is “less severe” is mistaken, you just haven’t heard our voices enough. It is the result of our historical and compounding invisibility. We are speaking up and begging you to listen.
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I Love You, I've Sinned - Silvio
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.
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While I was busy doing official duties, a maid walking behind me suddenly called out.
Maid: "Um, there's a hickey on the back of your neck."
Emma: "What!?"
I hurriedly let my hair down to hide the hickey, but the embarrassment made my face flush.
(I told Silvio so many times!)
Just a few days ago, another maid pointed out a hickey to me, and I confronted Silvio about it.
------------Flashback-----------
Emma: "Prince Silvio, what’s the meaning of this?"
Silvio: "Huh? Why do you look so angry?"
Emma: "Who do you think is responsible for making me this angry!?"
Emma: "Didn't I mention last time not to leave hickeys where I can't hide them?"
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Silvio: "Heh, you already noticed?"
Emma: "The maid told me. I was so embarrassed I felt like my face was on fire."
Emma: "Why do you always put them in such obvious places? You're so cruel."
(Just remembering it makes me want to faint.)
Even though I was seriously protesting, he laughed as if it were none of his business.
Silvio: "You're my woman. What's wrong with marking what's mine?"
Emma: "There's nothing wrong with it, but at least do it in places where I can hide it."
(I'm happy to hear him say that, but having other people point it out all the time is still embarrassing.)
Emma: "Anyway, seriously, please stop."
Silvio: ".........."
Emma: "W-What?"
Striding over to me, he grabbed my chin and tilted my head up.
He gazed at me with eyes that held a hint of amusement and smirked.
(I have a bad feeling about this.)
Silvio: "You don't like it when others point it out, right? In that case..."
With a confident gesture, he pointed to my neck.
Silvio: "Here."
Emma: "Here? Wait, what!?"
Without hesitation, he pressed his lips there and sucked hard.
Feeling a slight pain, I quickly pulled away and rushed to the mirror, where I saw a vivid red mark.
Emma: "Just because you gave me a warning doesn't make it okay!"
Silvio: "Like I care."
Emma: "You should care!"
As he tried to close the distance again, I turned to evade him, but he grabbed me from behind, nibbling on my nape this time.
Silvio: "How about here next?"
Emma: "Ah!"
Frustratingly, I couldn't deny that I was weak to his kisses, as my voice betrayed me.
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Silvio: "You act so stubborn, but you sure make pleased sounds."
Emma: "You're the one who's being stubborn."
Silvio: "Huh? I can't hear you."
His teasing voice brushed against my ear, and he traced his tongue over the freshly made hickey.
Emma: "........."
Silvio: "If your embarrassment is stronger than the mark I've given you, maybe you don't fully realize that you're my woman."
Silvio: "In that case, I'll just have to keep marking you until you do. Next will be here."
Emma: "That's not the point, mmph!"
He firmly embraced my waist from behind, repeatedly sucking on my shoulders and neck while we stood.
The relentless rain of forceful kisses showed no sign of stopping, and he showed no remorse, let alone any hint of regret.
---------Flashback Ends--------
(Things are getting out of hand. I need to come up with a plan.)
(Now that this happens...)
Silvio: "Hey, Emma. Later..."
Emma: "........."
(Since he's not showing any remorse, I'll have to maintain a stern attitude and not let my anger show for a while.)
I remained resolute in my silence, but since he had repeated the same behavior yesterday and the day before, perhaps sensing my irritation, he furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed my arm as if to stop me.
Silvio: "Are you sulking?"
Emma: ".........."
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Silvio: "Don't just stare at me."
(I bet he only thinks I'm just slightly upset.)
(I won't talk to him unless he gets the message.)
Emma: "Take this!"
Silvio: "Damn it, don't just suddenly hug me like that!"
Blushing and clearly flustered, he watched me flee hastily from the corner of his eye.
Silvio: "Don't make things any more difficult."
(Ugh, I didn't expect him to chase after me.)
Silvio: "Hey, if you have a complaint, say it to my face."
(I tried to tell him, but he didn't listen to me!)
In defiance, I turned my face away.
Emma: "If you're not going to listen to my requests, then I have the right not to listen to yours."
Silvio: "You finally decided to speak up, huh? And what's up with that attitude?"
Silvio: "You know what'll happen if you talk to me like that, right?"
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(Until he understands my side, I won't yield to any kind of threat.)
Emma: "I don't know. I've said my piece, so if you'll excuse me."
Silvio: "Fine, suit yourself."
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The next morning--
Emma: "What the hell is this!?"
I started getting ready but was shocked by my reflection in the mirror.
(There were hickeys on my neck, arms, collarbone, and in places I couldn't hide.)
Silvio: "I could hear you all the way from the hallway."
(When did he come into the room!?)
I was too shocked by the hickeys to notice.
Emma: "What’s the meaning of this?"
Silvio: "I did it while you were asleep."
Silvio: "They suit you better than any jewel."
Silvio: "You understand now, right? No matter how much you struggle, you're mine, so let me leave my mark as I please."
Emma: "Y-You tyrant!"
(I only wanted him to show some remorse, but my defiance seems to have fueled his fire even more.)
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(I've completely lost this round. Ugh, this pisses me off!)
Emma: "I'm sorry. I apologize for ignoring you."
Silvio: "You're unusually obedient."
Emma: "I've realized that resisting is futile."
Silvio: "As long as you understand."
(Ugh!)
I suppressed the urge to charge at him.
Emma: "I appreciate you giving me hickeys, but I can't help feeling embarrassed when others point them out."
Emma: "And I also don't want to show the marks you leave on me to anyone else."
Silvio: "You felt that way?"
Silvio: "Then why didn't you say so from the beginning!?"
Emma: "Kyaah! Don't ruffle my hair like that!"
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Silvio: "Shut up! It's your punishment for ignoring me."
(My cheeks must be as red as his by now.)
To dispel the awkward atmosphere, he cleared his throat softly.
Silvio: "Since you seem to understand what happens when you defy me, I'll forgive you this time."
Silvio: "But think about why I purposely leave marks in places you can't hide."
Silvio: "I don't like pests getting too close to my woman."
(I feel embarrassed, but his feelings make me happy.)
Suddenly, he pulled out a sea-colored scarf from his pocket and wrapped it around my neck, covering my hickeys.
Silvio: "You drive me crazy when you ignore me."
Silvio: "So from now on, I'll be a little more careful."
Emma: "Thank you."
(He always seems to understand my feelings.)
(Still, putting so many hickeys is going too far.)
As a small retaliation, I hugged him tightly and planted a kiss on his Adam's apple.
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Silvio: "W-What the!? You!"
Ignoring his flustered reaction, I sucked on his skin and left a mark.
Silvio: "You always do this to me."
Emma: "I'd like to call it even, but there aren't enough yet, so brace yourself."
I made the declaration, and he burst into laughter.
Silvio: "You've got some nerve. I hope you don't regret it."
After leaving a kiss on the back of my hand and marking it, he lifted me in his arms and pushed me down onto the bed.
Silvio: "It's not me who needs to brace myself."
Silvio: "I'll leave plenty in places covered by clothes, too, so get ready."
Emma: "W-Wait! It's my turn to leave marks now!"
Evading my plea with a smirk, Silvio continued to leave marks all over my skin.
Repentance and retaliation both eventually turned into sweet moments as I bathed in the evidence of his love.
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raya-hunter01 · 3 days
Text
Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 5
Roman X OC(Kara)
Jey Uso X OC (Tia)
Rating: 18+
Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy
Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.
What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?
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A Month Later
Roman’s House
“Mama, you saw it for yourself, she slept with Jey,” I said trying to escape her wrath.
“Son, your actions caused that chain reaction, and Tia living here isn’t helping your case to get your wife back either,” my mom said washing the dishes as I fed Logan her bottle.
“Mama, Logan needs her.”
“Logan needs her like I need an enema. She doesn’t even want that baby; she barely interacts with her. How could you let this happen?” she asked as I wished the earth to open up and swallow me whole.
“Mama, I stopped it, I knew I was wrong.”
“But, it took six times sleepin’ with this girl for you to realize that, and then you lied to me. Roman, I didn’t raise you this way,” my mother scolded as I sighed taking my tongue lashing from her.
“Mama, I was gon’ tell you, I just didn’t know how,” I said as she sat down beside me.
“You start by telling the truth….I said some mean things to Kara going off how you were acting. Like when was you going to tell me that you had a child with Kara’s sister.”
“I…I was going to fix it all. I wanted her to be Logan’s stepmom.. I was going to make it right, then I saw red. She let him have her mama, my wife did that,” I said still in shock that Kara took it that far and slept with Jey.
“Roman, you can’t take a child away from her mother and give it to another woman, thinking it will fix the issue. Kara is hurt…Her husband and sister betrayed her, that’s a hard pill to swallow.”
“But look at what she did, like really out of all people it just had to be him. Why would she do that?” I asked, truly wanting to know why.
“To make sure she hurt you deeper than you hurt her, and it worked. Tore you up so bad you ordered a new bus. Got you walkin’ round here like you on life support,” my mom said, my jaw twitched just thinking about them together.
“Then you got that girl sleepin’ here, trying to get her hooks in you.”
“Mama, I ain’t-”
“I don’t care, if you want to try to work on your marriage, Tia gotta go. Her being here is showing Kara you didn’t take your marriage seriously and its disrespectful.”
“Mama, she has nobody-”
“That’s a lie, she got a mama, and a daddy. Tia’s mother was going stay with her for a month to help out with the baby. Rebecca told me, but Tia turned her down. I’m telling you Roman, get her outta here before something bad happens, son”.
“Mama, I tried to talk to Kara, but she’s been ignoring me. She just sits in mediation staring a hole through me,”  I said trying to get her to understand.
“Try harder, tell her what happened so there is no more secrets and hopefully ya’ll can get back on track. Whatever the outcome you owe her, and you know you do.”
“Mama, her sleepin’ wit Jey hurt me bad.” I said pleading my case as she threw her hands up in the air as I frowned at her. Kinda pissed she ain’t more on my side…I am her son.
“Roman, you’re not thinking about what you’ve done to Kara. I swear you are just like your daddy, can dish it out but can’t take it. Go to mediation today and be truthful with her,” she said leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Over the last month Tia being here has been hell. She won’t help with Logan, it’s almost like it’s no bond between them and that is insane to me.
 It’s been all me and mama, so I know I’m in this alone.
Hearing her come downstairs I rolled my eyes. “Morning my logan,” she said kissing logan on the forehead as Logan begins to fuss.
“Roman, I’m glad you’re still here. I thought you had left for the show, she said extra giddy. She really was trying to push something that was never going to be. My mom was right, she needed to go.
“Uh, no I got to go sign for the new bus and I got mediation today,” I said as Tia shot me a look.
“Oh, you’re still trying to beat that dead horse,” she said smartly rolling her eyes as I stood up walking towards her. “Um, what are you doing Roman?” Tia asked worriedly as I placed Logan in her arms. “Letting you bond with your daughter, because she has two parents and not just one,” I said leaving a fussing Logan with her.
“Roman, take her to your mom!” Tia cried as I kept walking, ignoring her.... I had bigger fish to fry.
“Make sure you’re gone by 1:00, my mama is taking Logan to your parents and you to get groceries for your house. I need you gone; Kara is stopping by to get some of her things!” I yelled as I heard her mutter under her breath.
Going upstairs I ran into mom. “Why didn’t you bring the baby to me? I ain’t gon’ listen to Logan cry all day because you left her with the devil,” she said as I snickered.
“Mama, she’s gotta try to bond with her,” I said giving her a hug before I went to get dressed.
----------
Bently Law and Associates
Kara’s POV
“I know you, nor her better be there when I get there,” I whispered as Roman nodded.
“My mom is dropping Logan off at your parents. Ma, can vouch for me,” he said pointing at my mother as she nodded.
“Yeah, Roman called last night and asked us to keep Logan," my mom said as I sighed, not really caring.
“Then my mom is going to take Tia grocery shopping for some things for her house because she’s about to be going home. After this, I gotta go finalize the deal on my new bus.”
“I don’t care where Tia goes, as long as she ain’t there when I’m there,” I said irritated.
 All he had to say was she wasn’t going to be there; I didn’t need an update on his baby mama drama.
 “Nobody will be there sweetheart, I promise,” Roman said as I cringed at his use of his pet name for me.
“Please…Don’t do that,” I said as he threw his hands up and sat back in his seat.
Sitting there in silence, my brain finally caught up to the little information he revealed. He got a new bus…. Smirking I felt a sense of satisfaction knowing he couldn’t shake the image of Jey and I on the other bus.
You could feel the tension as we went to sat with our lawyers. Ten years of marriage, was coming down to being in this office on the 15th floor, sitting around this huge table negotiating assets.
Deven, a mutual friend of ours, who’s also a judge, sat at the end of the table serving as a mediator for us.
“Alright, let’s get started. I wished we were here under different circumstances, but I digress. Mr. Towns what is your client Mrs. Reigns asking for?” Deven asked as I leaned back in my chair trying to relax.
“My client doesn’t want any of her husband’s assets, she only wants a clean break,” my lawyer said as I saw Roman twitching his seat.
“Kara is you crazy? After all he’s done..The devil is a damn lie, she want it all!” my mom said as I tuned her out.
I was too focused on Roman, who had leaned over and was whispering something in his lawyer’s ear.
“Well, my client would like to try therapy before we go this route. It will look good to a judge that you guys tried and could push this along quicker in the end.”
“I want this over,” I said as Roman cleared his throat.
“I want to try to save our marriage,” Roman said as I shook my head.
“I would rather swallow nails and dance barefoot across hot coals,” I said as my mother slapped me on the arm.
“Girl, hush this about getting what you deserve. He owes this to you,” She hissed as I sighed, sitting back and allowing Roman’s lawyer to continue.
“My client wants to also pay for his wife’s medical school expenses.”
“What!” I exclaimed sitting up in my seat looking at my mom who shushed me. “Here him out baby,” she whispered as I took a deep breath.
Bitch, now you want me to go back to medical school, now you want to support my dreams.
 “Like I was saying, we’ve come up with a total of 500,000 that she needs to complete her last two years of education.”
“That’s way too much?” I interrupted as his lawyer looked down at his sheet of paper reading his notes as Roman cracked a small smile.
“Always worried about me spending too much money instead of just letting me take care of you,” he muttered as I shot him a look.
“Kara, look at me.” Deven said as I turned, giving him my full attention feeling Roman’s eyes still on me.
“I talked to Roman and the price he came up with will help you with things you need such as your books, a Condo to stay in, and any necessities you may need.”
“Deven, it’s too much,” I whispered, totally thrown for a loop everything.
“Roman wants you to focus on school and not have to worry about taking up a job. He knew you were going to come in here and wouldn’t want anything from him, but he knows you deserve everything.” Deven said as fought back tears.
“Let him at least do that much, and hear him out,” Deven pleaded as I turned back to Roman and his lawyer, wanting to hear the rest of his offer as Roman sighed in relief before turning to his lawyer.
“Let her know what else we talked about Ryan?” Roman whispered pointing to his notepad as his lawyer looked over, shocked at whatever Roman had written on his paper.
“Are you sure Mr. Reigns? I said we could renegotiate that and bring it to the table later,” His lawyer whispered as Roman shook his head.
“She deserves it and I want her to have it regardless of if we work this out or not,” he whispered as I frowned at him.
“Uh, my client would also like to add an additional three million per year for Mrs. Reigns to do with as she pleases and upon graduation Mr. Reigns will donate ten million towards his wife’s own practice,” his lawyer said as I tried to process what he was offering…
“Jesus, Roman,” my mother said as Roman’s eyes never left mine.
Why was he doing this? Why now?
“My client has also cleared the balance owed from when his wife left school and violated the terms of her scholarship. All her debts are clear, so she can re-apply for school anytime she likes.”
“Why are you doing this? Like why now?” I whispered as Roman leaned his elbows on the table.
“Because I love you, and I miss my wife. I’m trying to make it right, Kara,” Roman said as I felt the room closing in on me.
“Now you want to support my dreams…. Now you want to do right! Now you want to make it right!” I shouted, the look of remorse on his face making it hard for me to breathe.
“I think emotions are high and we should take a break and resume next week. That will give Kara some time to think about things,” Deven said as my mother rolled her eyes.
“Ain’t shit to think about….She gon’ take everything he offering…He owes her that much, all she sacrifices she made for him,” my mom said as I wiped my tears.
“Kara, please take it…Even if you don’t take me back. I want you to have this regardless.” Roman pleaded.
“I need some air,” I whispered storming out of the room.
“Kara! Come back!” I heard him yell hot on my heels.
Picking up pace, I slip inside the elevator, pushing the buttons fast as I could as Roman sprinted towards me, sliding in the elevator  just before the doors closed.
“Kara-”
“Why are you doing this? You can't buy me, I'm not for sale."
“Baby, just listen,” he pleaded pulling me in his arms, cradling the back of my neck, holding me close as I finally exploded.
“NO! NO! Let me go!” I screamed, managing to turn my body away from him, but I couldn't escape his powerful embrace.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” Roman pleaded refusing to let me go, wrapping one arm around my waist and the other around my chest.
 His grip never loosened as he lowered us to the floor determined to not let me go as I fought against him.
“Damn you!...... You broke us! You broke ME!..... I LET YOU BREAK ME!!” I cried as he held me tighter.
“Baby, please forgive me,” he whispered, his silent tears falling on my cheek as he buried his head against mine.
He had officially broken me…And now that he had me broken, he wanted to give me all I ever had asked for from him.
“Roman, just let me go,” I whimpered as he released me, allowing me to slide to the opposite side of the elevator, creating some much-needed distance.
“I’m sorry, I just love so much,” he whispered as the elevator jolted to a stop as I looked around in confusion as the lights flickered, then dimed……
No…Not now…We can’t be stuck in here.
“This isn’t happening,” I muttered as Roman rushed to pick up the emergency phone.
“Hello! Hello……Yes, my wife and I are stuck?” he said as I tried to regulate my breathing.
“An hour!” He said I hit the wall in frustration. This day just keeps on getting worse.
An hour in here….. With Roman..Shoot me now.
“Thank you, thirty minutes sounds better than an hour,” he said hanging up and sitting down under the phone as I took off my jacket trying to get comfortable.
“Kara, I-”
“Please don’t talk to me, you’re taking up all the air,” I said checking my phone frowning at the fact I had no service.
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I swear I was going to tell you that night. If you could Just let me explain,” he said as I looked at him.
“Ok, I’ll play along, since you seem like you wanna confess your sins. How did it start?” I asked putting my phone in my pocket, giving him my undivided attention.
Roman seemed shocked at my question, this was not how he wanted the conversation to go.
Roman’s POV
Damn, she didn’t waste any time asking. I knew I had to tell her all of it but I dreaded it.…
“Well, I’m waiting, you wanted to explain,” Kara said as I sighed.
“The first time was on the bus. She had asked for a ride saying her friends had left her. Later that night after you and I talked on the phone, I went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night and there she was layin’ in bed with me….Naked.”
“Then what?” Kara whispered as I contemplated my next words, but I knew I had to tell the truth.
 “She climbed on top of me, I asked her to leave but it was almost eerie how she looked like you in the moonlight, so I didn’t stop it,” I said as Kara covered her face with her hands, her leg anxiously tapping against the floor.
I hated to tell her, but I knew I had to tell her all of it.
“When we were having sex, I slipped up and called her your name,” I said as Kara’s head jerked in my direction looking at me in disgust and horror, but she didn’t say anything.
“She told me she didn’t mind pretending to be you for me and I called her by your name as we had sex. Like four out of the six times we slept together I did, the other times, no words were exchanged,” I said feeling the bile rise in my throat, for the first time truly realized how sick it all was.
Kara looked at me with a sad smile. “Tia always has to prove a point that she can take away the things that I love, and I guess you were no exception…..God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Kara whispered, as I dropped my head in shame.
“Kara, If I could take it back I would but I can’t. Just please say we can try-”
“Well as a last-minute replacement for me how did she do?” Kara asked interrupting me, as I groaned.
“Don’t do that, you know nobody can ever compare to you,” I said as Kara chuckled, shaking her head.
“Did you even try to use protection?” she whispered as I felt somewhat offended, she would think I would put her life in danger.
The first time we didn’t but every time after that we did. I got tested before me and you even slept together again. I was clean, and I swear it was only that one time unprotected.”
“That’s all it takes is one time Roman, and now you have a child with her.  You still never answered my question…. How was she?” Kara whispered as I felt like I wanted to vomit.
“Kara don’t do this?”
 “No, you already did this when you slept with her and KEPT sleeping with her. So how was she?”
“Like I said, she wasn’t you and since we are on that subject, I guess I could ask you the same about Jey,” I said as the elevator started back up with a soft hum but was moving slowly.
Standing up Kara grabbed her jacket ignoring me, but I blocked her path standing in front of the doors. She wasn’t leaving here until she told me why she picked Jey.
“Move Roman.. I ain't got time for this," Kara whispered trying to avoid looking at me.
“Why Jey, Kara? It could have been anybody, but you chose him. You let him have you, why Kara,” I said unafraid and not ashamed of the tremble in my voice.
I was hurt that she let him have her, that’s all I see every time I pull into our fucking driveway.
“Just tell me,” I whispered making her look at me, her once loving eyes now void of feeling towards me.
I really did break her…I caused this change in her.
Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I remembered something she told me once when we were dating.
"Can you please move?"
“I have to love and trust someone to share my body with them, I don’t just jump into bed with anybody.” I whispered as she seemed shocked that I remembered but recovered quickly continuing to stare a hole through me.
“I guess there’s your answer as to why I chose, him,” she whispered as we stood in silence waiting for the elevator doors to open.
This couldn’t be it….It just couldn’t….We can come back from this…Jey is a non-issue, I’m her husband…
-----
Gulf Shore, AL
Jey’s POV
“Man, gon’ call Kara, and tell her you missed her and want her to come over,” Trin said as I shot her a look.
“I ain’t trying to smother her, I know she has mediation this morning. It takes a lot out of her,” I said as Trin smiled at me.
“That’s an even better reason to call her and let her know you’re thinking about her, Jimmy said as I  found myself blushin’.
I really had been thinking about Kara nonstop since we left a few weeks ago. The facetime calls and texting was and all cool but I wanted to hold her in my arms.
“You never told us what happened when ya’ll went to Roman’s that night either,” Trin said as I put my glasses on acting like I didn’t hear her.
“Oh, it’s like that huh…Fine, I’ll get the info from Kara,” she said as I chuckled.
“I think they fucked,” Jimmy said as I punched him in the shoulder. “Don’t talk about Kara like that,” I said as he gave Trin a knowing look as she smiled.
“Yep…They had sex, and it was good too. She got ya brother even more sprung than before,” Trin said as I pulled out my phone to call Kara, not even bothering to argue because it was true.
I was sprung and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it…
------
Roman’s House
Kara’s POV
I finally calmed down enough to make my way out to the house, and it seems like Roman kept his word...Nobody was here.
 As I got out the car my phone rang, smiling I accepted Jey’s facetime request.
“Where you been all my life,” Jey said as soon as I answered making me blush as I heard Trin and Jimmy awing in the background.
“Well, I always been here, and I’m currently at the house of horrors.” I said as Jey frowned.
“Your where?” Jey asked as I sighed. “I’m at the house picking up the last of my thing I wanted to get and granny’s bracelet.”
“Is he there?” Jey asked as I chuckled. “No, he’s not, he had some business to take care of. We did mediation this morning and it was a mess, but I’ll tell you about it later,” I said as Jey studied my face.
“I don’t like that look, it means when you tell me I’mma wanna beat his ass again,” Jey said as I gave him a small smile.
“What time ya’ll gettin' in today?" I asked as he smiled.
“We should be back in town in about an hour, we makin’ good time, tell the fam, hey,” Jey said turning the camera around to Jimmy and Trin as they laughed.
“Hey fam!” I said happy to see their faces, I really missed them all.
“Hey, Booky! I’mma need you to put this man outta his misery when this is all over with Roman and your ass crazy sister. He’s crazy about you,” Trin said as I blushed.
“Man, stop tellin’ all my business, Kara already knows what time it is,” Jey said as I laughed.
 “I miss you guys and I can’t wait to see ya’ll.”
“You be careful, get what you need, and get out. Dinner on us tonight,” Jimmy said as I smiled.
“I got ya’ll it’s gon’ take ten minutes tops. If I haven’t called, ya’ll back, call me,” I said putting their minds at ease.
“A’ight ten minutes,” Jey said as I smiled hanging up putting my phone in my back pocket.
After that night we never spoke about what happened. Jey was a man of his word; we carried on like our usual selves and for that I was grateful.
Running upstairs, I went into the bedroom and grabbed some of the clothes I wanted to keep, putting them in the box Roman had left on the bed for me.
I felt my anger slowly building as I looked around the room.. Had Tia been in here? Had she slept in our bed?  Roman’s confession on how things went down with Tia really had thrown me for a loop.
“Why couldn’t you say, no?” I muttered as I heard footsteps coming upstairs.
Ugh…
“Roman you said you wouldn’t be here,” I said agitated, opening the door and taking a step back in shock seeing Tia standing there in the sundress I wore the day Roman proposed to me.
“Oh, I didn’t know you would be here Kara. I was just trying to put together a little surprise for-” she started but stopped talking, seeing the look on my face…She realized she had taken it too far.
“You got on my dress!” I hissed as she tried to run but I caught her arm, slanging her in the room, and throwing her up against the wall before climbing on top of her.
“You bitch” I yelled punching her in the face as she screamed in pain.
“Get off! Kara!” Tia screamed as I repeatedly banged her head against the floor.
“I’mma kill you.”
“You ok up there Kara?!” I heard Janice yell as I kicked Tia in the stomach, before running to lock the door.
Nobody was breakin’ this up..She had it coming.
“Everybody always tryin’ to save you….You never face the consequences of your actions,” I hissed as she stumbled to her feet.
Before she could even see it coming, I ran at her, grabbing her by the and hair slamming her face against the wall.
“Kara calm down!" She cried as I backhanded her as she fell against me.
“Calm down my ass, I’m sicka you! Get off me bitch! I screamed, throwing her into the dresser as she tumbled across it hitting the floor hard. Her moans of pain bringing me satisfaction.
“What is going on in there, Kara?!” Janice yelled as I trembled with anger as Tia spit blood outta her mouth, crawling toward the wall trying to pull herself up.
“ Janice, I’mma kill her, that’s what’s going on!” I screamed charging towards Tia, spearing her against the wall as we fell to the floor in a heap.
My phone sliding across the floor in the process
“It ain’t worth it Kara, come on out baby,” Janice pleaded as I fought to catch my breath but I couldn’t reign in my anger. She has taken everything from me.
“I won,” Tia gasped with a smile as I snapped pulling her up by her neck dragging her to the wall mirror in the corner.
“Look! Look at us! Bitch, what have you won! The only reason you even had him in the first place is because you look somewhat look little like me the dark hoe,” I hissed as she tried to pry my hands out of her hair.
“Ain’t nobody tryin to be you! He wanted me because he knows I’m better than you!” Tia screaming as I chuckled letting her go.
“But ain’t you tryin’ to be me, Tia?…..Let’s see….You wearin’ my clothes!...You were fucking my husband and had a baby from him but you ain’t trying to be me.. Bitch, please, just own dat shit,” I scoffed.
“He wanted me Kara…He couldn’t resist me,” Tia smiled as I shook my head. This bitch was loony tunes.
“Oh! He wanted you, huh…Wasn’t he fucking you and calling you by my NAME!  Something you didn’t mind him doing by the way, right? As long as you fucked up my life!” I yelled as she jumped back in shock at my knowledge of what happened during her intimate moments with Roman.
“H- H- He told you?” she stammered as I smirked at her uneasiness.
“Yea, he told me all of it, and who does some sick shit like that? I asked. The tension building as we stared a hole through each other.
“Oh…nothing to say now.. Well, I’ll tell you who does that…A desperate bitch who loves to throw her rank ass pussy at anything that moves!”  I screamed as she tried to swing but missed, the momentum causing us to fall against the mirror, causing it to shatter around us.  
Luckily neither one of us landed on the glass but hit the ground hard.
“Damn it,” I muttered rubbing my head as I heard my phone ringing looking around in a panic, I groaned in frustration as it stopped.
I knew it was Jey calling to check on me.
“Miss an important call,” Tia teased trying to sit up as my phone started ringing again.
“J- Jey,” I whispered trying to crawl to my phone as I felt a Tia jump on my back as we tussled to get to my phone.
“What you mean don’t call the cops! You better get her quick then Roman; they are killing each other in there!” Janice said as she continued to bang on the door.
“Just as I reached the phone, Tia bit my hand and elbowed me in the stomach before grabbing and answering it.
“Jey! Jey, she’s gone crazy! Help me!” Tia cried as I pulled her back down to the ground hitting her with a right hook before slamming her head against the floor again.
“Tia! Where is Kara!” I heard Jey yell as I ripped my phone out of her hands.
“Kara! Kara! What’s gon’ on!” I heard Jey yelling in a panic as I put the phone to my ear.
“Jey….I’mma call you back…I got some shit to handle.” I panted
“Ka-” Jey started but I ended the call before he could finish, seeing Tia trying to run for the door.
“Where you goin’?” I asked, charging toward the door pushing her against it.
“Help! Somebody Help me! Your crazy!” Tia yelled as I turned her around to face me.
“What did you expect after all you’ve done! You’ve made me this way!”
I screamed punching her in the face as she fell in a heap at my feet, leaning down I jacked her up by the hair, tossing her again into the wall
“Bitch you ain’t nobody!” I Screamed gripping her hair as she tried to back away, I began punching her,  on top of her head, only stopping to change course landing a few punches to her face as she screamed trying to cover her face with her hands.
 I got a couple more shots before I felt myself being lifted up in the air. “Let me go! let me go!” I screamed, fighting against whoever had pulled me away.
“Kara, that’s enough baby,” Roman’s voice boomed throughout the room as I stilled in his arms, panting in disbelief at how out of control I was.
“Roman,” I whispered somewhat coming out of my tunnel vision.
“Yes…..It’s me baby, I got you,” he whispered holding me tight as I tried to gather myself as Tia got up of the floor wiping her nose.
“You’re really comforting her! She’s crazy and just attacked the mother of your child for no reason Roman,” Tia moaned, as I winced feeling the pain shoot through my knuckles as I looked down seeing the scrapes and patches of raw skin.
“Nah, I ain’t crazy..You just kept pushin’ your luck, like you always do and nobody was here to save yo’ ass…Let me go Roman!” I hissed as Roman released me, finally taking in Tia’s appearance.
“Why you got on Kara’s engagement dress?” Roman asked, his powerful voice overtaking the room as Tia said nothing.
She was too busy trying to check her face in the only mirror left standing in the room, on top of the dresser.
“Don’t worry, It’s an improvement bitch!” I screamed as Roman sighed gently pulling me to him, trying to check me over.
“Stop, I’m fine,” I said stepping away from him. “You got some cuts, Kara” he said worriedly as I shrugged him off again.
“I said I’m good, but you betta get that bitch outta here before I kill her,” I said pointing at Tia as she smirked, Janice shaking her head in the corner at the scene playing out before her.
“I won…I …ruined…Your …Life and I loved every minute of it…I hate you,” she seethed as I chuckled.
“You hate me….. You hate me!  Bitch, I’ve hated yo’ ass since the womb!” I yelled, knowing it would cut her deep because she would always tell me how she would rub Mama’s stomach and talk to me when Mama was pregnant with me.
“You wanna know why I’ve always made a point to fuck up your life?” She asked I tried to get around Roman.
“Because I wished you had never been born!” She screamed. "Move Roman!" I yelled as he refused, turning to look at Tia
“Shut up, Tia!” Roman shouted as she kept talking.
“It’s true, and she should know.”
“Well, Mama shoulda’ just swallowed when it came to you. Your whole fuckin’ existence has just been you being a living, breathing, pile of disappointment and cum! You gutta slut, I hate you!” I screamed as she seemed hurt by my words.
“Timeout!..... Roman take Kara downstairs for her to calm down…They hittin' below the belt now, ya’ll still sisters,” Janice said as I shrugged Roman off.
“I can go on my own accord. I don’t need him,” I said walking out of the room as Roman’s mom followed me.
“I’ll help you get cleaned up,” she said as I looked at her unsure of what her motive was. I was still pissed by her lil outburst and shots she was throwing a couple of weeks ago.
She betta not start talkin’ out her neck or she can get this work too. I’m tired of the bullshit…And everybody…
Roman’s POV
“I told you not to be here!” I yelled as Tia continued to clean herself up.
“She has to get used to seeing us a family, Roman.”
“Uh, no she doesn’t because that isn’t going to happen. We share Logan together and that’s all. I can’t believe you really came back here after I asked you not too…Just trying to hurt Kara,” I said as she rolled her eyes.
“That wasn’t my in-”
“Tia! You up here wearin’ the dress Kara wore when I proposed to her!…You knew what would happen when she saw you in it."
“She always takes shit so personal,” she said wincing as she touched her jaw.
“It is personal, and you had no right! Look, just get outta my house.” I said just over the day. I feel like the more I try the worse everything gets.
“How am I going to get home?” Tia cried as I walked around for the first time looking at the disaster area, that was once my bedroom with Kara.
“The same way you snuck back here after my mom dropped you off at your house…Hell, walk for all I care and leave Logan at your moms, I’ll pick her up later,” I said leaving no room for argument.
“You can’t just dismiss me like I’m nothing Roman,” she whispered as I turned to look at her.
“My lawyers will be in touch, now get out.”  I said as she sighed limping out of the room.
“This is a fuckin’ mess.”
------
Jey’s POV
“Man, where we at? This ain’t the way!” I yelled as Jimmy sped up.
“We almost there, I took a shortcut,” he said as Trin tried to call Kara back.
“Come on Kara, pick up the phone,” Trin pleaded as I felt myself losing it.
“I just need to get there man,” I sighed as Trin rubbed my shoulder. “Kara can take care of herself,” she said as I sighed.
 “I know that…I just know Kara, she gon’ hurt dat girl.” I said honestly scared about what we were about to walk into.
“Tia been pushin’ and she finally got what she asked for. It’s been coming, and it was no way to avoid it,” Trin said as I took a deep breath.
I was so on edge as we hit the exit to Roman’s house, I probably could have run faster than Jimmy was driving.
Pulling up, we didn’t see the cops or anything but saw Tia coming out with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder.
She avoided our gaze and starting to walk up the road with a slight limp.
“Damn she limpin’ and did you see her face…Man, Kara ate her ass up,” Jimmy said as Trin snickered. “Told you Kara could handle it,” she whispered as I slammed the car door, rushing inside.
As soon as I got to the foyer, I heard Kara’s voice coming from the kitchen.
“Aye, gon’ in there, we’ll look around,” Jimmy said as I went towards the kitchen.
“Roman did tell her not to be here sweetie. I dropped her off and everything,” my aunt said as I hung back giving them space to talk.
 I was just thankful Kara was ok, and I could lay eyes on her.
I watched my aunt clean up Kara’s knuckles as she hissed at the pain. She had a small cut on her lip and a couple scratches on her arms.
“Tell me how you feeling sweetie?  You can’t keep holding this in.” My aunt said as a strangled sob escaped Kara’s lips.
“Do you know how long we tried to have a baby, and that WHORE just gave him our dream without even trying.” Kara cried as my aunt reached over and gave her a hug.
“I know it baby,” my aunt whispered rubbing Kara’s back.
“Wh- What am I supposed to do with that?.…This is all wrong, it’s not fair,” Kara sobbed, my heart breaking for her.
Pulling away, my aunt took Kara’s hands in hers. “I’ll tell you what you do…..Leave him, Kara……Leave this town and allow yourself to heal,” My aunt said as I looked at her in shock.  
She actually told Kara to leave Roman and start her life over.
“How do I do that?” Kara asked as my aunt smiled at her.
“Take it one day at a time,” she whispered as Kara nodded wiping her tears.
“You right, I need to leave…..Cause’ if I don’t leave, somebody gon’ get hurt,” Kara whispered, as I felt a chill run down my spine at the coldness of her voice.
“I know it, baby… I can feel it coming, and I don’t want that,” my aunt said as Kara nodded in agreement as they sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until my aunt cleared her throat.
“So, do you have any places in mind?” she asked as Kara cracked a smile.
“I guess it’s time to give Boston another try,” she whispered with determination as I smiled.
I knew what that meant...She was finally going to put herself first and go back to medical school.
And she didn’t know it yet, well, maybe she did but I’m going to be with her every step of the way.
There was no way I was losing her now…
When the divorce is final and Kara’s ready….She will become Mrs. Fatu….
Why do I say that?...... Because you can’t run from destiny and Kara was my destiny.
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buckybabesonly · 9 hours
Text
as long as we're together (does it matter where we go?)
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Summary: You don't want to be a burden to Bucky, knowing he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!OC
Genre: Angst
Length: 7.8k
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Two years ago
“I don’t think I want to be with you anymore.”
Bucky had expected it. Weeks of you being distant, making secret phone calls, avoiding his touches like they physically hurt you. Countless times Bucky had asked, what's wrong?, only for you to shut him down and say that everything was fine. Bucky was sick of hearing that empty, meaningless mantra, but it didn’t mean that he reveled in your confession now.
Even though it didn't come as a surprise, it still felt like a punch to the gut. It physically winded him to hear those words leave your lips.
He wondered what he did wrong. He wondered where they went wrong. They were so in love, so wonderfully content in each other's company. You were his person. Steve had once told Bucky that he would find someone unexpectedly, when Bucky made an off-hand comment about how lucky he was to have met Peggy.
“You’ll find your Peggy.”
Things had been perfect. Or maybe Bucky had just been in denial, ignoring all the problems between you because he thought that his feelings for you triumphed over everything, no matter what hardships you may have been suffering from. How could he ever face the reality that you might actually leave in pursuit of something better?
Now, Bucky’s chest was tight with an indescribable feeling, both of you stood in your shared apartment. Your belongings stuffed into a black suitcase, Bucky’s heart in pieces on the hardwood floor.
He had expected it, but it didn't stop him from wanting to die.
"Why?" It was all he could ask. He wanted to know the reason, wanted to understand. Wanted to know if he could fix it. He was desperate to make you stay.
Bucky stared at your face. You looked so...indifferent. Unattached, in contrast to the woman he had met all those years ago. Where had the softness in your eyes gone? Why couldn’t you meet his pleading gaze, even now? At what point did your feelings for him start to fade, and was there anything he could have done to salvage it?
Your face was a blank slate, emotionless, and it made Bucky feel a truly troubling combination of sadness and anger. It was as if you had already said your goodbyes to their relationship, completely ready to move on whilst Bucky was still trying to process your words. You were ready to leave him behind to mourn.
“I don’t think we’re right for each other,” you had said quietly. “I don’t think we can give each other what we need.”
"Bullshit," Bucky said, his voice cracking. You grimaced ever so slightly at his tone, still unable to meet his eyes. "How can you say that?"
He took a step forward; you matched it with a retreating step, but with wide strides he seized your wrists. He silently willed you to say something which could somehow lessen the excruciating pain.
“Will you just look at me?”
He wanted so badly for you to meet his stare, to find some source of comfort within your eyes which usually held so much love for him.
Finally, you relented and lifted your head. They did not fill Bucky with any hope. You pressed your lips together firmly as he searched your face desperately for any sign of residual affection.
"We - we're in love. How can you say after all these years that we're not right for each other? For fuck's sake, will you just tell me what happened?"
"People change, Bucky," you said softly. The look on your face - was it sadness, or apathy? "We've become too distant."
"And whose fault is that?" Bucky released you then. He was so angry, wanting to elicit some sort of reaction from you, that he wanted to punch the wall beside them. It made him feel nauseous at how stoic you were now, like a piece of unyielding rock. He knew you hated it when he took his anger out physically. You had been the one to teach him how to manage his rage more constructively, to talk things out and use his words rather than his fists.
"Are you trying to say it's mine?" Your tone was sharp, finally demonstrating some emotion. "Are you saying that all those nights waiting for you to come back home, all those evenings alone whilst you stayed at the Tower, all those hours I spent staring at the four walls of this apartment were my fault?"
"You left me!" Bucky retorted, gritting his teeth. "You left me long before today! You think I haven't noticed? You can barely stand touching me. You're always on your phone, always texting, always out seeing your 'friends'," he said, making air quotes. "I asked Wanda, she said you haven't been meeting her or your other friends for weeks. Who's this 'friend’? Who the fuck is it that's so important that you can't spare any time for me, never mind your actual friends?"
A long, pregnant pause filled the air, an indecipherable mask on your face once more. Bucky’s eyes were wet, and if he hadn't been so angry, he would've seen the way your lower lip was trembling ever so slightly, the way it did whenever you were trying not to cry. It had been the biggest telltale sign for him over the years to know when you were upset and trying your best to hide it.
He was usually so good at reading you, but he was blinded with sadness.
"Fine," you said eventually, slicing the silence with a shaky exhale. "I'm seeing someone else."
You might as well have struck Bucky across the face.
Suspecting it and hearing the words fall from your lips were two different things. He physically reeled back in anguish as he stared at you. He took in the sight of his girlfriend in front of him, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat. This was, without a doubt, the woman he had met five years ago. The woman he spent five years loving. The woman whom he recognized no longer.
"Why?" Bucky whispered, all the fight leaving his body. He physically seemed to sag, forehead creasing at all the other questions running through his mind, visions of you being touched and fucked by some faceless, nameless man.
You were almost pitiful in the way you looked at Bucky, and he hated it.
"I care for you, Bucky. But I’m not in love with you anymore. And I'm sorry I had to do this to you. Things just got out of control."
I’m not in love with you anymore.
You offered no further information, but he had stopped listening, anyway. The finality in your voice pierced him slowly, tortuously, through the heart. He barely moved when you took your suitcase and pulled it out behind you, out of their apartment. Out of his life.
The door slammed shut.
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Present day
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Mercedes Knight & Samuel Wilson
Sam had become Bucky’s closest confidant in the past few years, and the latter had been a close witness as Sam met Mercedes ‘Misty’ Knight, a former NYPD officer who had somehow become roped into their crazy world. It was no surprise to Bucky when they announced their engagement just six months into dating.
Bucky found himself being pulled into their wedding planning discussions far too often. He tried to keep an amused smile at bay whilst listening into Misty and Sam’s wedding talk at the Tower. They were using one of the many conference rooms - a Knight-Wilson union was official business, Misty insisted.
"Are you bringing a date?" Misty asked suddenly in the middle of everything, the question directed at Bucky.
"Of course he's bringing a date," Sam smirked. "Heard things with Sharon are going well, right?"
Bucky smiled non-committedly, shrugging. "She's great." It didn’t go unnoticed by Sam that this didn’t quite answer his question.
"You two look good together," Misty offered. She glanced at her watch and widened her eyes theatrically, grabbing Sam’s hand. "Oh crap, we need to go meet with the wedding planner."
"But it feels like we just sat down," Sam complained.
"There's no rest for the bride and groom, Sam," Misty said, pulling her fiancé out of his seat as she waved goodbye at Bucky.
As soon as they departed, the smile on Bucky’s face dimmed. He was beyond happy for his two friends, he really was - but every couple he knew was a fresh reminder of his own failed love life.
Ever since you, he hadn't been in a long term relationship. Sharon is different, he told himself, and she was. They had been friends for a long time, and of course spent a lot of time together carrying out missions and the like. Over time, somehow, they had gotten closer, and one day Sharon had just asked him, “So when are you going to ask me out, Barnes?”
At that point, Bucky was still frequently thinking about you. Sharon had never met you before, but Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if she had heard stories about you from the others, since he had been notoriously affected by the breakup. Even though he was dealing with the aftershocks of the broken relationship, he was forcing himself to get past it.
They had been dating for two months now, and it only seemed right for Sharon to be his date at the wedding.
He had moved on. He was no longer the depressed, dark wreck he was when you left.
Sometimes it’s better to lie to yourself than to face the reality.
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“You invited Bucky’s ex to the wedding?” Misty asked curiously.
“Uh, yeah. She’s not just his ex,” Sam explained gently. “She’s my friend too, and I haven’t seen her since she left town.”
"You told Bucky?"
"Nope," Sam snorted, shaking his head. "I can't. I don't think he'd turn up if I did. I want them both there on the day - I'm sure they can be civil for one night."
“I wonder how Bucky will react," his future wife pondered.
Sam shrugged. Not well, probably.
"What else can I do? I can’t not invite her, I really want her to be there. You never met her, so you don’t know, but she’s been through some shit.”
“I know, I know, you told me,” Misty said. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Do you think she'll be okay seeing Bucky again? Especially if he'll be there with Sharon?"
"She said she can handle it. She would be happy to see that Bucky was happy. She was the one who practically begged me to encourage him to move on."
“Do you think he has?”
Sam paused, considering the question carefully.
“He has to.”
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Several weeks later, Misty Knight and Sam Wilson were officially wed at the local registration office. The day was full of hugs, cacophonous laughter, friends and family, and Bucky watched with a wide beam on his face as he witnessed his friends glow. Those kinds of smiles were few and far between nowadays, but he was truly happy for once.
"They look so good together," Sharon murmured as hundreds of guests filled the hotel ballroom, the party commencing in full swing. The newlyweds were in the center of the room, Misty being twirled around wildly by a laughing Sam before his wife collapsed against his chest in fits of giggles, looking up into his eyes adoringly.
More and more people joined them on the dance floor after the conclusion of their official first dance.
"Barnes, would you like to dance?" Sharon asked suddenly with a smile, extending a hand.
Bucky chuckled, allowing her to take his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.
An hour passed, and Bucky had to truthfully say that he was enjoying himself, assisted by all the alcohol he had consumed. Sharon was draped all over him as they swayed to the music, and Bucky found himself appreciating the feel of her body against his all too much, the scent of her intoxicating. His hands felt the fabric of her silky, emerald green dress, buried his nose into Sharon's blonde hair, sighing softly as he tightened his grip on her waist.
Her perfume was strong and woodsy, like a forest. It irritated his nose ever so slightly. You had preferred a more subtle, floral perfume, one that smelt like sakura blossoms.
Sharon was more confident and seductive in the way she danced, whilst you used to always let yourself become putty in his arms, enjoying how he took the lead and managed to make you look like you knew how to dance despite your two left feet.
However, despite the differences, if Bucky closed his eyes and just tried a little harder, he think he could pretend that -
"Sorry to interrupt.”
Bucky pulled away from Sharon suddenly, and he turned to mock glare at Sam. "What do you want, Wilson?"
"Need to borrow you for a minute," Sam said, an undecipherable expression on his face. Bucky tried to see where Misty had disappeared off to, but saw no trace.
"Um, sure..." Bucky tried to read Sam’s face but gleaned nothing.
"I'll just go say hi to Natasha," Sharon said, giving Bucky’s forearm a squeeze before she disappeared.
Sam’s smile faded, and he caught Bucky’s arm in a vice grip. "I need to tell you something. Don't get mad, okay?"
"What?" Bucky scowled as Sam dragged him to the side of the room, weaving through the crowds of guests. "What good news starts with, ‘don’t get mad’? Are you gonna tell me you want to run out on Misty or something?" He joked.
Sam pulled him out through one of the open French doors which led to a pretty, outdoor stone balcony. He shut them behind him as Bucky continued to babble, a little tipsy from the champagne he'd had. "I gotta tell ya, if she asks me to kick your ass I will literally do so -”
"Bucky," Sam said, taking a deep breath. "She’s here." Meeting Bucky’s nonplussed eyes, your name rolled off Sam’s tongue in clarification.
He felt like the breath was sucked from his lungs as he stared back at Sam, who looked uncharacteristically anxious.
“What?" He asked hoarsely, instantly sobering up. “What do you mean?”
Chills were running through his body. The name he had avoided for years was suddenly causing him to feel breathless. How did you still have such an affect on him?
"She couldn't make it to the ceremony earlier today, but she just arrived."
"You - you invited her here? She’s here, now?"
"Yes," Sam replied, nodding. "I invited her.” He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest almost defiantly.
Bucky was speechless for a moment, taking a step back and scoffing. He shook his head. “Do you remember what she did to me?”
“I'm sorry, Buck..."
Bucky suddenly laughed, startling Sam. His laugh was curt, humorless. "What are you sorry for? I'm over her, Sam. It was two years ago. I haven't seen her in two years. I don't care anymore," he said quickly. Too quickly.
"Listen -"
"Look, it's okay." Bucky raised his hands in small surrender. “You have the right to invite whoever you want. I’m not mad. But I just don’t want to be held accountable for whatever happens now.”
He turned and wrenched the French doors open with such force that the handle buckled slightly. The noise inside the ballroom spilled out to replace the painful silence on the balcony.
He disappeared inside before Sam could say anything else, and he tried to hide it, but Sam could clearly see that his hands were shaking as he marched inside.
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For the next twenty minutes, Bucky found sanctuary in the restrooms. He stood inside the stall, trying to stop himself from mentally collapsing.
He didn’t know what was happening. He had never felt this overwhelming panic rush over him before, immobilizing him. Anger, sadness and yearning swirling inside a melting pot of emotions that was crippling him.
She was here. The woman he hadn't seen in two years, the woman who broke his heart, the woman who betrayed him, the woman who left him in tatters.
Your infidelity had had an unforeseen impact on him. When he first found out, he was devastated. Terrified of how you became someone he didn’t recognize - or had you always been someone capable of betraying him, just good at hiding it?
You had poisoned all the happy memories they had once shared. Bucky found himself recounting all the years you were together, micro-analyzing everything, wondering if there was a hidden lie behind it all.
That was one of the things which made him angriest. You turned all the beautiful years of your relationship into a lie. None of it was real, Bucky had told himself.
You crushed him.
Of his feelings, anger prevailed, slowly simmering to the surface, like a volcano about to erupt. How dare you walk back into his life like this? He would show you, Bucky thought with determination. He was over you. He had no reason to be angry, he thought bitterly, because you were nothing to him.
Just like Bucky was nothing to you.
When he emerged from the toilets, the first thing he did was find Sharon. She looked relieved to see him, although confusion was clear on her face as she eyed Bucky.
"Where have you been? Are you feeling okay?" She commented, brow furrowed with concern.
"I'm fine," Bucky assured her. "Have you seen Sam?"
Sharon pointed, puzzlement still painted across her face, and Bucky snapped round quickly.
And there you were.
It was as if you had never left. As if the past two years filled with Bucky trying to eradicate every memory and feeling he had for you had never happened, because as soon as Bucky’s eyes found you through the crowd, everything came collapsing back down on top of him like an avalanche. Suffocating.
You were still so beautiful, strikingly so. Like a burning beacon among the crowd, Bucky’s eyes found your face as easily as anything. For a second, he allowed himself to ignore anything except you, and how the sight of you still managed to take his breath away.
You looked thinner than he remembered, your face gaunt. Bucky frowned slightly at this acute observation and found himself wondering if you had been taking care of yourself.
"Barnes? You okay?"
Bucky registered Sharon shaking his arm, but his eyes remained fastened on yourself and Sam. Neither of you had spotted Bucky yet, who was rooted to the spot like a statue. Sam’s mouth was moving, words that Bucky couldn't hear escaping his mouth, but his expression was angry. Almost as if he was scolding you for something.
"I have to...I..." Bucky stumbled over his words, voice faint. He could feel those tendrils of anger slowly seizing him again, wisps at first, until they grew more and more potent by the second. He remembered every single thing he felt when you left him, and instead of trying to hold back the emotions, Bucky just saw red.
"Let me introduce you to someone," he said suddenly, his voice strained as he took Sharon's hand.
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"You said you were better," Sam said, expression torn.
"I am," you lied, trying to put on a smile. Truth was, you were exhausted, just like how you always felt. The ballroom was so crowded and loud, and you just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, which you would the moment you finished congratulating Sam and Misty. And perhaps, even though you didn't want to admit it, you wanted to catch a glimpse of Bucky, too.
"Look at you, you're -"
“Sam, please don’t,” you interrupted gently. “Just drop it, please? It’s your big day, I don’t want you to worry about anything else.”
Sam opened his mouth to talk, but stopped suddenly, his eyes flitting to look behind you.
"Hey."
You froze. You knew that voice, of course. Heard it enough times, the deep, gravelly voice that had once whispered sweet pet names, proclamations of love, and plagued your dreams ever since you left him.
You had longed to hear his voice again, hear your name being spoken lovingly. His voice was your favorite sound in the world. Except tonight, hearing it for the first time in two years, you heard nothing but ice.
"Bucky?" You turned slowly, and your breath hitched. He was just the way you remembered him. Even more handsome, if possible. Clad in a sleek black tux, tall and dark and sexy, everything you had missed and dreamed of, and...
He was holding another woman’s hand.
"Bucky," Sam repeated, voice tense. Bucky could hear the underlying warning.
"It's been a while," he said stiffly, acting as neutral as he could. As if he hadn't spent months after their terrible break up being a shell of who he used to be, barely repaired even now. Bucky felt like any other venomous words from your mouth would shatter him again, but he had to take the chance. He had to talk to you, show you that he had moved on. He didn't care about you anymore, or how you so ruthlessly left him.
"Yes," you said weakly, smiling softly. God, he still thought that you looked beautiful, clad in a periwinkle blue dress, a thick coat draped around your shoulders. You were shivering, and Bucky resisted the urge to ask you what was wrong. Now that he was closer, he could see that didn’t look well at all. You had dark circles under your eyes and your collarbones were too prominent, your gaze devoid of any livelihood.
You glanced at Bucky’s fingers interlaced with a gorgeous blonde. You had seen her on the news before, you were pretty certain. Your smile forcibly stretched wider, blinking a few times, not knowing what to do with yourself.
"This is Sharon," Sam said, clearing his throat and exchanging introductions.
“It’s very nice to meet you,” Sharon said politely. She was gorgeous, you thought, watching as she sent Bucky a subtle, questioning glance.
Bucky was still staring at you, unmoving. You took the initiative first.
“Bucky, can we talk for a second?"
You could see the way he was trying to control himself by the way his lips stiffened, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. He gave a curt nod. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Sharon and the other hundreds of wedding guests.
“Let’s leave these two to catch up,” Sam said lightly, trying to hide his discomfort as he led Sharon away.
"So now you want to talk?" Bucky asked as soon as they were out of earshot, his voice sharp. You cringed, almost folding into yourself at Bucky’s hard stare.
"Yes," was all you managed to whisper, eyes darting to the ground to avoid meeting his glare. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
You turned and walked towards the exit of the ballroom, turning back to look at Bucky. He followed after a second, his jaw set like stone as you led the way to the empty lobby outside, away from the noise.
"It's been a while, Buck.” You voice was sad as you turned to face him again.
"Yes," he said, fighting an internal battle. He was so torn. Seeing you again made him want to wrap you up in his arms like he would've done two years ago, when you were still together. And feeling like that made Bucky angry. What right did you have to make him feel this way? Who gave you the right to mess with Bucky’s heart again after so long?
"How have you been?" You asked eventually after a painfully awkward silence.
He scoffed at that. "How have I been?" He repeated incredulously. He doubted you really wanted to hear about all those nights he spent in his apartment, refusing to talk to his friends, being a complete social introvert (more than he usually was) because he felt like he just couldn't live anymore. Not without you.
"Great. Fantastic," he said without a shred of sincerity.
You stared at him for the longest time, your lips pressed into a thin line. You looked so regretful that it made Bucky feel uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry," you said eventually, your voice wavering like you were struggling to breathe properly. "I'm so sorry for leaving you like that. We...we could have ended things better. You didn't deserve how I treated you."
You flinched when Bucky scoffed derisively. He dropped any remaining restraints he had previously put in place, letting all his feelings run free.
"Are you kidding me? Why? Why are you coming back here and apologizing after all this time?" He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out in frustration as he stared at you, making sure to keep his distance lest he found himself wanting to pull you closer. God, it was all so confusing. He despised you, and yet seeing you here in the flesh was everything he had ever wanted in the last few years.
He hated how you were making him feel.
"Look, it doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done," he spat through gritted teeth, all the while completely unaware of how your heart clenched painfully at Bucky’s scornful eyes. “Do you have any idea how unfair this is? You fucked up big time, disappeared off the face of the earth, then come back standing in front of me now asking how I am?”
“I know. You’re right, about everything. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”
“No. You have no right to do this,” Bucky seethed. “You have no right to come back here and try to - what, settle your guilt? Make amends?”
You didn’t say anything, choosing to let him vent instead.
“I still remember the way you left. What you did. I will never forgive you for that. So don’t you dare stand in front of me today with all this bullshit and expect me to have something nice to say.”
"You really hate me, don't you?" You asked then, taking Bucky off guard. You lifted your head properly to stare at him, and the look in your eyes was unsettling.
"I hate you," Bucky confirmed unwaveringly, his voice hard. "I hate what you did to me and by extension, you."
You didn't respond. You bit your lower lip hard, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. Your heart hurt so much.
It was the worst feeling in the world, maybe, seeing the man you loved so dearly tell you that he hated you. It was excruciating, the clenching inside your chest as Bucky’s words rang in your head.
"I know my apologies will never be enough. I just wanted to see if you're happy now," you whispered.
"I'm happy," Bucky replied almost immediately. "I'm happy with Sharon. Does that bother you? Did you hope that I'd still be pining after you? I'm not that pathetic anymore." The barriers were broken, and the hurtful words were falling from Bucky’s mouth, two years worth of it.
“I never said you were pathetic,” you retorted, slightly indignant. “I’m glad that you’re happy.”
Bucky was breathing hard, unconvinced by your words.
“And how's the man you left me for?"
"He...it didn't work out," you shrugged, trying to keep your face as straight as possible.
"Good," Bucky said harshly. "Because you don't deserve happiness." If he wasn't so mad, he wouldn't say such irrational things. But he just wanted you to hurt. He wanted you to feel all the pain you caused.
Bucky pretended he didn't hear you gasp. He pretended that he didn't see your eyes gloss over at the sheer amount of hate in his voice.
"Okay," you said finally, your voice clearly shaking. "Okay," you repeated again, nodding your head. Bucky watched you take a step back, away from him.
“I -”
“I'm sorry, Bucky. Please take care," you interrupted, smiling sadly before you turned and walked away as quickly as possible.
That was not how you envisioned the reunion to go. All you wanted was to apologize, know that he was happy, so that you could go in peace.
But maybe that was the consequence of your decision. Maybe he was just always going to hate you for the rest of his life and remember you as someone awful.
You didn’t know that all Bucky wanted to do was run after you. Tell you to stop. He wanted to apologize and tell you how he didn’t mean a word of what he just said.
Rage and pride kept him shackled, and he watched your retreating back, feeling like a coward.
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The last thing Bucky expected when he opened his apartment door a few days later was Sam’s dirty glare.
"You can be a mean son of a bitch, do you know that?”
"Hello to you too,” Bucky retorted.
“Why did you say all that stuff to her?” Sam asked, pushing his way past Bucky.
Bucky closed the door, knowing exactly who he was referring to.
"Why is this any of your business?"
"You acted like a dick!" Sam said furiously.
“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done something like that on your special day. But-”
“I want you to feel sorry to her.”
"She left me,” Bucky exclaimed. "You were there, Sam, you saw how fucked up she made me. She cheated on me! You want me to apologize to her?” His face was incredulous.
“You’re so fucking frustrating.”
“Oh, excuse me for not being the bigger person,” Bucky sneered. “But you don’t know how she made me feel, Sam, so don’t you dare try to give me a fucking lecture now.”
Sam was quiet for the longest time, looking exasperated. He stared up at the ceiling, sighing.
“Bucky, look man. She never cheated on you,” Sam said finally, an apologetic look in his eyes.
The apartment became filled with nothing but the sounds of Bucky’s heavy breathing.
“What are you talking about?” He spat, realizing now that Sam knew something he didn’t.
Sam let out a resigned sigh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I promised her I wouldn’t tell you. But fuck it, man, cause I think this is messed up. She’s sick, Bucky," he said solemnly. "Like, really sick."
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Two years ago
"It's cancer, Sam."
You physically couldn't cry anymore. You had done enough of that the day the doctor had told you, your eyes puffy and swollen. Funnily enough, the first person you had sought out wasn’t your boyfriend, but rather his best friend.
Bucky wasn’t even in town that weekend, and you really didn’t want to tell him over the phone. In fact, you never wanted to tell him. How do you tell the man you love that you're dying?
"You can get treatment, right?" Sam asked.
"I don't know. It’s not looking good. They're doing some sort of new clinical trial in England, but even that’s a long shot. I - I’m going to try, though.”
Sam sat up straighter. “And Bucky?”
"You can't tell him," you said firmly. You had thought about it all night, and you knew you couldn't let him know. You didn't want to put him through something like this. "My father had cancer too, Sam," you said softly. "He died in so much pain, he had so much treatment but it didn't help. He was throwing up all the time, having fevers, his body was so weak, and by the end he wasn’t the same anymore. I don't want him to see me like that."
“But-”
“No buts,” you said. You had given it enough thought already. You knew that you would have to be very, very lucky to make it through this - the end was essentially inevitable. There was no way you would make Bucky bear witness to you succumbing to this illness the same way you had to watch your father.
It was the worst time of your life. You had told Bucky about it in the past, as he had never had a chance to meet your father since he passed away years before you met Bucky. Knowing what you did, you would never inflict that same experience on him.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I have to leave him.” You had been preparing yourself for what you needed to do all night. "If I go, there's a chance I might not come back, you understand that, right?"
"Don't say things like that," Sam said forcefully, clenching your hand. "Just stop. Bucky will support you all the way, you know that!"
"That’s exactly why I have to go by myself. I can't be selfish, Sam. I want him to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I can’t make him drop everything to make me his number one priority. Looking after me will take time and constant care. If I go to England, he will abandon everything and come. Manhattan is his home.”
Sam looked anguished and you knew that he was disagreeing with everything you had just said, but you plowed on.
"It’s not just a matter of time and effort. If he stays, he will watch me die, and I don’t want him to do that.” You began to cry, and Sam hugged you, wishing he could say something comforting.
“It’s okay," you said through the tears, even though every fiber in your body was telling you the opposite. You had been repeating these words to yourself all night, as if you would believe it if you said it enough times. "It’ll be okay."
Maybe you were being stupid, but you didn't care. You knew Bucky loved you with his body and soul, as did you. But you weren’t going to let him suffer over your illness. You wouldn't let the person you cared most about in the world see you slowly deteriorate.
You had been witness to how your father was clearly in a depressive state, and yet tried his hardest to pretend to be happy and fine around other people. You didn’t know if you had the strength or bravery to even pretend.
You began distancing yourself. Stopped trying to make conversation with Bucky, until the long, endless, random talks you used to share diminished into curt sentences. You stopped waiting for Bucky to come home, simply pretending that you didn't care. You became more secretive, furtively hiding your calls with your doctor and your mother.
There was no other man. You loved him and only him, and had been nothing but faithful. You didn't know what hurt more: having to lie to Bucky or the fact that he so easily believed you would betray him like that.
In the end, you had really regretted fabricating a story of infidelity. You should have just gone your separate ways without making him think that you had been unfaithful. But at that time, you wanted to find a quick solution that would make Bucky voluntarily detach himself from you. It seemed like a wise decision, but you really, really wish you hadn’t let him believe that you didn’t love him. It was truly the worst feeling in the world.
It was all over in a few weeks. You packed your things and left, trying not to cry with every heavy step you took towards the door of your apartment. You knew you were making the best decision for them both, surely.
Time would heal Bucky, and he would be happy again one day.
It just couldn’t be with you.
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Present day
"She just didn’t want to feel like a burden to you, man," Sam said, shaking his head. "Why did you have to say all those things to her at the wedding?"
Bucky could register nothing else after Sam finished explaining everything. He was in disbelief, though he knew that there was no way Sam would fabricate a story like that.
Now, he could only think of the way he had shouted at you. The way he told you how much he hated you. The way you had left.
"Where is she?" Bucky whispered.
"She’s leaving today," Sam said tersely. "She’s going back to England. She was real sick for a long time, and she recovered a few months ago, but the cancer came back.”
He slipped a hotel business card into Bucky’s hand. “This is the address she’s staying at," Sam said.
He grasped it like a lifeline, eyes unable to see Sam standing in front of him. His vision was completely filled with images of you.
"Go," Sam said forcefully. "Go and find her.”
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The tears wouldn't stop falling.
You didn't know words could hurt so much. Sure, you had expected Bucky to hate you, but you weren’t prepared for the way every single word seemed to embed themselves into your skin like splinters into your heart.
They were once so happy. They were so perfect.
You hated yourself. Hated yourself for getting ill, for ruining what you had. The logic was irrational, but the self-hatred had become second nature.
You had spent the last few days holed up in your hotel. You had planned to use the time to see a few friends before returning to England, but you no longer had the heart.
You left your room that morning only because Wanda was furious that she missed you at the wedding, and you agreed to have coffee with her. She almost cried at the sight of you, but you put on a brave face, refusing to talk about Bucky. You begged her if you could just talk about happy topics and she eventually obliged, smiling sadly when you hugged each other goodbye.
“I’ll see you again, dear,” Wanda had said, and you hoped to God she was right.
As soon as you got inside your hotel room, you felt a switch click internally.
Everything hurt. You were tired, unhappy and you really didn’t know if you would ever make it out of this emotional blackhole. You felt so weak, like you would keel over at any given moment.
Cancer really was a bitch.
You kicked off your shoes and entered the bathroom. You lay down in the bathtub, fully clothed, turning the cold water on until you were almost completely submerged, wanting to numb all the pain inside your body and mind.
You eyes were red and swollen, and you couldn't remember crying so much since that day the doctor diagnosed you. Why was life so unfair? You wanted your old life back again. The life where Bucky didn't detest you, the one where he was happily and wonderfully in love with you.
You lay back, letting the water cover you completely. You closed your eyes, your hair gently swirling around your face. You opened your mouth and screamed, bubbles erupting to the surface.
Eventually you emerged, gasping and coughing, your tears hot in contrast to your frozen face. Your body wracked with sobs, shaking uncontrollably.
You sank back down into the water, your mouth opening once more to scream in uncontrollable rage. It was cathartic, your fists clenched into balls as you willed the feelings inside you to just - disappear.
When you opened your eyes beneath the water, you nearly gasped at the sight of a blurry, warped figure above you. You didn't have time to do anything when arms were suddenly encasing themselves around you, lifting you to the surface.
You spluttered and coughed, your ears assaulted by the voice that once whispered sweet nothings in your ear.
"- the fuck are you doing? Are you okay?"
Bucky.
You blinked past the water in your eyes, bewildered at the sight of him, kneeling beside the bathtub with his hands gripping your shoulders. His bright blue eyes were scared, wide open with concern.
You were startled at his sudden appearance, unable to say anything as he scooped you out, lifting you with ease. You were clearly in shock and scared.
You collapsed against him as he sat down on the bathroom floor with you in his arms.
"What were you doing?” Bucky was appalled as he pulled you close to him, watching how you continued to weep, blinking blearily at him. Your body was ice cold, every inch of you soaked.
He whipped a towel down from the railing beside you, wrapping it around your body as you shivered uncontrollably.
"Bu - Bucky?" You asked, as if you couldn't fathom why he was here. You were almost convinced you were hallucinating.
"Fuck, we need to get you out of these clothes," Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he tried not to cry. He had so much to say to you. He wanted you to know how sorry he was, how he didn't mean anything he said, but now wasn’t the time. He had to be strong for you.
You felt like a baby as Bucky removed your soaking wet garments until you were naked, then immediately swaddled you with more towels. He picked you up completely off the floor and took you out of the bathroom.
He chose to place you down on the edge of the bed, positioning himself to kneel down in front of you.
"Bucky," you whispered, voice thick, trying to pull away from him. “I think you should just leave me alone."
He stiffened. It scared him to hear you talk like this, to see you look at Bucky with such defeat in your eyes.
“No,” he said resolutely. “I'm here now, okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving, and I need you to be with me. I need you here, talking to me.”
"I can't. I can't do this anymore. Just go, please."
Bucky looked at you then. Really looked at you. The woman he loved and misunderstood for so long was now a trembling wreck in front of him, skin paper thin and trembling like a leaf. You looked so vulnerable and sad, and it made his heart twist.
Bucky suddenly held you tight against his chest, tucking his nose against the crook of your neck, and you didn't resist.
"Do you have any idea how much I hate myself? I hate myself for letting you go through this alone. I hate myself for telling you all those lies that night. I love you, I love you, I love you," Bucky said, wishing that you would see it.
“Don’t.”
“I wish you had told me. I would have helped you. You should have told me. I can’t believe you -”
You realized now that Sam must've told him the truth, and you sighed softly.
"I'm not good for you, Bucky," you whispered. "I will only ever hurt you, put you through more pain."
"I know everything now," Bucky said firmly. "No matter what happens, I will gladly endure it as long as it means we're no longer apart."
“Don’t be so stupid,” you said, anger tearing through your voice, though the tears were still falling. “I’m broken, Buck. I can’t give you a future. Please just find someone else - stay with Sharon.”
“Sharon?” If you hadn’t mentioned her name, Bucky would never have even thought about her. “No - we’re not serious, doll. She was never going to be the one.”
“No,” you insisted. “If not her, then fine, find someone else. Just not me.”
“Why aren’t you listening?” Bucky asked furiously. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Please don’t do this. I need you." He was desperate to make you see, to make you understand. It was you or nothing. "You don’t know how awful the past few years have been. I don’t want to be apart from you, please.” He was prepared to grovel at your feet and beg.
He hated himself for how easily he gave up two years ago. This time, he was not letting you leave him.
His beautiful blue eyes pleaded with you, and you felt your barricades crumble. Your arms finally moved to wrap around him, and he felt a wave of relief as he encircled you in his arms. You had missed this, the feeling of Bucky holding you so tenderly.
You didn’t know if you were making the right choice, but you wanted to give in so badly and just let yourself be selfish and enjoy what time you could have together. And now that Bucky had you back by his side, he was definitely not going to let you go.
Even if they were in pieces, at least they were together. And Bucky was positive that they could put those pieces back into a whole, as long as you gave it a chance.
"You're so stupid," you said through your tears.
"I don't think so," Bucky said, managing the smallest smile. "Just stupidly in love with you."
You wanted to stay like this forever, entangled in each others arms. He pulled back slowly to study your face, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss against your lips. He kissed you again, deeper this time, breathing you in.
“You owe me two years of kisses,” he mumbled.
You laughed softly, but it soon died. First, you had a lot of talking to do. You used the following hour to tell him the details about your illness, why you had left, how sorry you were for treating Bucky the way you did when you broke up with him.
"You're so dumb," Bucky had said, sounding furious for a moment. "You had no right to decide something like that for me. You know I would support you.”
"I know, Buck," you had interrupted. "That's exactly why I had to leave. I didn't want you to see me die, okay?"
You had looked like you were about to cry again, so Bucky stopped scolding you immediately. He would never make you cry again, he swore.
"You're here now," he said, kissing your temple. "We're together now. Everything feels...right again."
You swallowed, biting your lip. "I told you, my cancer is back and -"
"You'll get better again," he said, refusing to look at you. You knew that tears were in his eyes. "You'll get better, okay?" His voice wavered slightly.
"It's worse this time, Bucky," you said. "Look at me. I'm practically withering away."
"You'll get better," he said, clenching his teeth.
You didn't say anything, just nestled against Bucky’s chest, relishing the way he wrapped his arms securely around your frame as if you would disappear at any moment.
Maybe he was right. Maybe by some miracle, with Bucky by your side, you would be able to give him all the time in the world.
"I'll try to stick around," you whispered.
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Text
Say Don’t Go | 911 7x10 spec
Based on the stills and my brain not shutting up
“I hate you!”
Christopher’s voice resonates through the hallway until his door slamming cuts it off. Eddie flinches and Buck’s heart breaks.
“Chris-“
Eddie moves half a step forward and Buck stops him by the shoulder before he can go after his son. It’s not going to help. If he knows anything about angry teenagers (having been one particularly angry himself) is that Chris needs a moment away from his dad.
The problem are those big brown eyes. Because when Eddie looks back at him, so lost and heartbroken and desperate, Buck knows he has to do something. Because this is wrong, it’s just wrong, and Buck knows he cannot fix everything for the people he loves but he cannot —will not— stop trying no matter how impossible it feels.
“Let- let me try and talk to him,” Buck asks.
“What?”
Helena and Ramon both turn to him with equal disbelief, but Buck doesn’t even bother looking at them. They’ve been so ready to take this opportunity to rip Chris away from Eddie. And, sure, they are worried and Eddie should’ve handled this a lot better, but they aren’t even giving him the chance. So he doesn’t look at them, he keeps his eyes on Eddie who gives him the smallest, pleading, nod.
That’s all Buck needs. With one final squeeze, he lets go of Eddie and moves across the living room with long strides before the Diaz’s can stop him.
Who does he think he is? What gives him the right to intervene? How dare he even be here? Whatever they are thinking, comes second to Chris and Eddie.
Buck knocks gently on the door.
“Go away!”
“H-hey, buddy, it’s me. Can I come in?”
There’s a long terrifying pause that nearly shatters what’s left of Buck’s heart before the reluctant “okay.”
With a relieved sigh, he pushes in.
Christopher is sitting on the edge of his bed, a packed backpack by his side. For a second, Buck thinks of another day, years ago, when he found him just like this. Back then, Buck’s biggest fear was that Eddie’s heart would stop. Today, he’s terrified it will break beyond repair.
“Hey, Chris.”
“Hey, Buck,” he says, looking down at his hands.
Awkwardly, Buck makes his way to the bed and sits on the edge next to the boy. He’s so big now, older and taller, but he can still see the same child that had to comfort him after the shooting.
“Chris, are you sure about this? Leaving your dad, even if it’s just for a while… that’s not going to fix things between you.”
“I don’t want to fix them,” Chris snaps, sharply. “He lied to me! He lied to Marisol, to you, he lied to everyone!”
And that’s not something Buck can argue.
“Yeah, he- he screwed up, Chris, but you need to understand.”
“I understand! Why would he that! He’s- he always told me to tell the truth and to be good but he was a liar.”
“Hey, hey, that’s- that’s not fair. One mistake doesn’t make him a liar. He just- listen, Chris, you know your dad loves you more than anything in the whole world, right?”
He’s met with silence.
“Right?”
Chris gives a noncommittal shrug.
“Right,” Buck nods. “Because he does. And he would never, ever, do anything to hurt you.”
“But he did! It hurt! Seeing her and thinking it was her… it hurt, Buck.”
“I know, buddy… I do. I just- I meant, he would never hurt you on purpose.”
“He had to know it would hurt.”
“He did. Which is why he lied…”
Christopher huffs and Buck has the horrible feeling he’s not being as helpful as he hoped. What was he thinking? Just because he loves Chris with his whole heart it doesn’t mean he knows the first thing about being a parent. He only knows what Eddie taught him.
The memory hits home like a wave. Sunlight, a warm hand on his shoulder, his heart twisting from guilt to relief and to something bigger he couldn’t name.
“You know, your dad isn’t perfect.”
“No, he isn’t,” Chris scoffs.
“He isn’t perfect,” Buck repeats, tone pleading Chris to let him finish, “and he knows it. He told me once himself, that he’s failed many times as your dad. But he also said that he loves you enough to never give up, to never stop trying to be better… for you.”
Chris is quiet, but by the way his shoulders hunch and his head tilts, Buck thinks he might be getting to him. So he pushes on.
“And- and the thing is, Christopher, your dad is very hurt right now. It’s- it’s nothing like the time he was shot… it’s something… deeper, older. Because, you see, when Shannon- when your mom died, it really hurt your dad. He loved her so much… and I don’t think he ever healed from it, not really. I think that’s why he did all this. Because he’s in pain…”
Christopher peers at Buck from under his curly fringe, reluctantly making eye contact.
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
“No, it doesn’t. But- but I think your dad really needs us right now. He- he needs you,” he corrects quickly. “This time, I think your dad needs you not to give up on him.”
“But I’m still mad.”
“And- and that’s okay. You can be mad. You get to be angry or sad or confused, I just- I just hope you can fight for your dad, like he does for you. Because, Chris, if he loses you… I think the pain will be too much this time.”
Chris is quiet. And Buck is exhausted.
“I don’t wanna make you feel responsible for him, Christopher. I promise, whatever you choose, I’ll have his back and make sure he is okay. I just- I think he needs both of us right now.”
“Why are you defending him? Aren’t you mad too? He lied to you too.”
“I- yeah, he did. But he’s my best friend, and I love him. I’m not quitting on him, he’s never given up on me.”
“Hmmm.”
It takes a couple minutes before Chris decides to get back up. Buck stays only because he isn’t asked to leave and, only when he sees the boy step outside does he dare follow cautiously.
In the living room, whatever Eddie was talking in hushed tones with his parents dies down immediately. He only has eyes for his son as he approaches.
“Mijo-“
“You have to promise that it won’t happen again,” Christopher demands, voice shaky. “You need to try to do better and you have to promise that you won’t lie to me again.”
Eddie walks towards his son like he is in a dream, eyes tearful. Buck can see him trembling even from afar, where he’s found a corner to tuck himself into and disappear.
“Christopher,” Eddie says, kneeling before his son and gently holding him, “I swear- te lo juro por mi vida. I will do better. I will- I will be better for both of us. I will spend every day trying to be a better father for you.”
“Okay,” Chris says.
“Okay?”
“I’m staying.”
Eddie leans forward to hug his son, but is met with a gentle push back.
“I’m still mad at you, dad.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course,” Eddie mumbles, but the relief in his voice is still palpable.
Eddie looks past Chris’s shoulder and his eyes find Buck. The look in his face… Buck knows Eddie like the back of his hand but he cannot quite place what it is. Thankfulness and relief and hope… but there’s something else behind it that makes Buck’s heart twist painfully.
So Buck looks away, tries to find something —anything— else to focus on and lands on the Diaz’s faces. Eddie’s parents look at him with… well, it isn’t quite anger, but there’s a confusion there and a bewilderment that somehow makes Buck even more uncomfortable. He ducks his head and beelines for the kitchen. He should let them be alone…
“Buck!” Eddie is rushing after him before he can get to the door.
When he turns around, he finds Eddie standing there, shaking and shocked. Buck waits, but Eddie doesn’t seem to have any more idea than he does about what he planned to say next.
“Sorry, I- I should probably go.”
Eddie takes a step forward, with that look still on his face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Buck goes on. “Just- just be with your son tonight.”
“You sure? You could stay.” Eddie steps closer.
“No, it’s- it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to intrude, with your family-“
“Buck-“
“And Tommy is waiting at my place, so…”
Eddie stops. He blinks.
“Right, yeah. Of course. Just- I- Thank you.”
Buck smiles, even if the air between them still feels charged.
“I have your back, Eddie. Always.”
And before anything else can get his head spinning he steps out the back door. Only once outside does he stop and finally breathe. That was… that felt like… but it cannot be. It wasn’t. Even if Eddie looked like he wanted to-
No, of course not. Better get going, before his heart can manage to fool itself once again.
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