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scribblemew · 9 months

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SEASON 2 HEARTSTOPPER KINDA SPOILERS!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! :)

Isaac is so cupioromantic coded in this show and I as a cupioromantic person myself, have NEVER related to a character so specifically.

Cupioromanticism (for those who don’t know) are people that are on the aromantic spectrum (feel little to no romantic attraction) but these people have the want or desire for a romantic relationship. The idea of a romantic relationship is appealing to them, but they don’t feel the romantic attraction that supposedly comes with these relationships.

A tiny bit of backstory, I didn’t know about being cupioromantic until more recently. I’ve identified as aroace for a very long time, but often found myself questioning it. While I know i’ve never felt romantic or sexual attraction, the idea of a romantic relationship has always appealed to me. I desire to have that intense closeness and intimacy people only seem to get when they have a partner. I wondered if I were a lesbian for a very long time, but never pictured myself having sexual or romantic feelings for someone else, even another woman.

While doing research, I came across the terms “romance favorable” and “cupioromantic”. The concept of being cupioromantic resonated with me almost immediately. It’s as if everything I’d been feeling had been described in one singular word.

Cupioromanticism is something that not tons of people are aware of, from what I’ve noticed, especially since it is part of the aromantic spectrum (which also, is something that the world and even the queer community don’t always address)

Back to heartstopper, Isaac, exhibits so many cupioromantic traits, especially in season 2. Throughout the series you see him reading many queer books, and not only ones about asexuality. (Here’s a link to an article discussing all the books he’s read throughout the series so far)

From this and from his behaviors in season 2, it’s clear that he wants to be in love. He WANTS to have romantic feelings for James (the gay boy that has a crush on him) and Isaac goes as far as asking Charlie what it feels like to actually like someone.

When James kissed Isaac, he had anticipated for it to be magical, and fantastic, but it wasn’t. There weren’t any feelings involved on his end. When he talked to James about it later, he states that he’s been doing research so he’d know what it’s like to have feelings for another person. he wanted it to happen, he EXPECTED to have feelings for James. He genuinely thought the kiss they shared was going to be just as amazing as everyone said, but it wasn’t.

Later on, as Isaac looks at the art piece made to represent the aro/ace spectrum, he seems to relate to it a lot. As it’s been confirmed that he is on the aro/ace spec, they haven’t specified where. Regardless though, throughout the series it’s clear that Isaac does in fact have an interest in romantic relationships, he seemingly even wants to have one with James. He was excited about it, up until he realized he didn’t have the same romantic attraction James had for him.

Considering that cupioromanticism isn’t very well- known, I doubt they are going to explore the topic much. However, as a cupioromantic, I’ve decided this is some of the best representation for it that I’ve ever seen. whether it’s intentional or not, I relate to Isaac in a very cupioromantic way.

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transienttheologyproject · 8 months

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i hope my followers & others keeping up & supporting this project know that whenever you leave a kind message on my post — whether it be something as simple as a tagging your reblog of my posts with ‘!!!’ or as personal as sending me a message to the effect of ‘this type of work means so much to me thank you for doing it,’ you are helping me keep my momentum going.

bit of a whole big rant below, sorry for the length, but tl;dr i’m just immensely grateful for what support this project has received because the backlash it has gotten has taken way more of a toll on me & my mental health than i anticipated, and your kindness has helped in motivating me to not just completely wipe this whole thing from the internet.

today yesterday kinda sucked. a lot of the past couple weeks have sucked, especially since pushing more of an online presence with this zine, because of course, with something like this you’re naturally gonna attract a range of Christians, from those ‘gender-criticals’ (whatever that means) who think I’m misguided, to those who begin their messages by calling me & my work perverted, to those whose vitriolic transphobia manifests in sending me Gospel verses weaponized as straight-up death threats. and obviously i knew this was going to happen, and it did, even from as early on as when i was posting the calls-for-art.

and at first i handled it well — i deleted whatever i felt wasn’t worth my time responding to, and if i could meme a hate-comment into a promotional tiktok, then i kept it around to do exactly that. and that worked. i told myself i wasn’t going to get defensive and bound up in keyboard wars because the purpose of this specific project, this specific platform isn’t for debating or dialoguing with Christians who don’t affirm trans+ identities — it’s to serve those who are trans+ and Christian, and I didn’t want this intra-community effort to become an inter-community debate forum. dialogue is a perfectly necessary thing, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time & a place for everything and this project wasn’t meant to be it.

as the weeks went on, however, the negative attention this project was receiving began to take a toll on me. it didn’t help that in addition to the anticipated pushback from Christian peers, some of the trans+ folks i knew gave me a hard time for ‘bootlicking the oppressor.’ i was, and still definitely am, having the most intense experience i’ve had to this day of the exact type of ostracization that inspired me to pursue this project in the first place — too trans for the Christians, too Christian for the trans folks.

receiving comments calling an academic research project i dedicated my entire summer to “perverted” made me doubt everything i had worked so hard on. accusations of “heresy” and “blasphemy” i had expected and received plenty of, but perversion was not something i had anticipated. comments like “you make me sick” made me second-guess everything i had done leading up to that moment — am i sickening? i was falling for the false narrative that exists as the backbone of much of today’s transphobia — that trans+ people are inherently groomers, monstrous predators. i was perverting my body, they said, and scripture, too — and i began to wonder if they were right.

receiving comments like “enjoy your insanity! I hope the boot still tastes good when they've taken away all our rights so you could feel like ‘one of the good ones’” made me doubt my identity as a Christian. yeah, it’s no secret that the anti-trans legislation running rampant and scaffolding an era of fascism in the United States is the result of neoconservative Christians who represent more the Rome that Jesus mocked & condemned than Christ’s mission itself. i began to worry if calling myself Christian identified me with the oppressor and if talking about transness from a Christian perspective was really a helpful endeavor or if i was essentially stabbing my trans+ community in the back.

you’d think that given the nature of this project, i would be better about not letting those sorts of interactions wear me out. because i’m conducting a project that’ll say “hey, trans+ Christians, you don’t have to choose between those two facets of your identity because they’re not mutually exclusive,” you’d think i would’ve had that mindset confidently internalized. or maybe you wouldn’t think that, but i guess i thought so myself. and i guess i thought that expecting the petty backlash & having done enough research to dismiss it was enough to be prepared for it. not really.

from the beginning, i told myself, “don’t let the mean ones get to you, you’re smart and have done your research and know what you’re talking about.” but there was such a separation between myself and my work this summer that i never truly internalized what i was writing about — i believed it, but i didn’t necessarily believe it for myself.

this project has been a labor of love. and i definitely think the labor part got the best of me this whole summer. the literary review was a drag. writing up the annotated bibliography was immensely frustrating and took me way longer than i would have liked. same with the zine’s section prefaces. and i had planned and hoped to meet with and interview several professionals in the various fields examined in the zine — and i totally dropped the ball because of… something that felt like burnout, which actually made me feel like i had committed the biggest blunder of my professional career before it had even begun. I’m still recovering from that.

the mental and emotional toll this has caused me, the academic, spiritual, psychological, and physical strife this whole endeavor has proven to have been has resulted in me sort of dissociating from the project; i talked about it as though it was a passion project of mine — which it is — but as i was working on it, i felt so disconnected from the material. as if it were akin to a homework assignment in a class i couldn’t care less about.

i’ve been in a tough spot regarding mental health for a long while now (for various other reasons besides this), and i’ve reached the point where i’ve wanted to pull the plug on something to just try and break whatever vicious cycle im trapped in, whether that something be as large-scale as dropping out of university, or as low-scale as shaving all my hair off, or maybe…well, maybe since i can pinpoint these online interactions and this research pursuit as a whole as contributing substantially to my poor mental state, maybe i should pull the plug on the zine. screw it, delete the social media pages & the website, make sure artists get their copies & be done with it.

but i have folks who have been legitimately looking forward to this — not even just people of the intended audience! i have cis Christian friends on my college campus who had never met a(n openly) trans+ person, let alone a trans Christian, before they had met me who have demonstrated such a genuine eagerness to learn from the expressions of faith and gender from myself & others like me. i know a Catholic mother — the sweetest woman — who is ordering a physical copy of the zine so she can try to understand and support her two trans+ daughters, and any other trans+ people she meets, better. i’ve had countless people — strangers — message me “this work you are doing is incredible and incredibly needed. thank you for doing it.” i’ve seen several people, folks just scrolling through their tiktok for you page who don’t even usually follow after leaving me comments to the effect of “yknow, this is a strange crossover episode, but i’m here for it, this is cool!”

there are people who want this work out there. and what’s more is that there are people who need this work out there. and i guess every time someone goes out of their way to extend some kindness towards me and gratitude for this project, i am reminded that i am among those who need this work. those little moments ground me in the purpose and mission of this project — to serve my trans+ Christian community, particularly those who may be having trouble reconciling their intersection within those identities especially within the current socio-political climate. and like, that’s me!!! i am a member of my community, i am a part of the people i am hoping to serve.

everything i was (and truthfully, still am) anxious about, everything that was (and is) weighing on my heart is everything that this project hopes to challenge. all the doubt i’ve been experiencing as of late is exactly what inspired me to do this work in the first place.

and the kindness and gratitude so many of you have extended towards me in the past few weeks, especially within the past few days, have truly helped ground me. i’m still struggling to get back on my emotional feet per se, which is why i will ask that if you find a moment, you keep me in your prayers — but i genuinely mean it when i say that every positive tag on a reblog, every share on one’s story and every kind comment serves as a reminder to me that a.) there are people will be genuinely served by a project like this, and not only that, but b.) i am one of those people. you all remind me to take a look at what i’ve done from the perspective of a trans Christian, not of a student researcher or a graphic designer or a social media moderator or any of the other practical roles i had to take on this summer. you remind me to look at this project as the type of person it’s meant to serve. you remind me of my initial hopes and goals with this endeavor.

you remind me to allow myself to be transformed by the work i have done.

when you share with me how inspirational this project is to you, you remind me to let myself be inspired by the work i’ve done. when you share how much this zine means to you, you remind me to let myself take meaning in it.

and i think it’s sort of ironic in a very beautiful way — so much of this zine focuses on the idea of entanglement and the interdependence of many facets of our lives, and it wasn’t until this project became entangled with you all so much that your experience with the zine is no longer just dependent on mine, but that ours are interdependent on each other. the positivity you feel at learning about this project is poured back into my cup, giving me the breathing room to finally allow myself to feel positively about it, too.

so truly, from the bottom of my soul, thank you. thank you for your kindness and your support, and for making it this far in my ramblings if you have. i know it was quite disorganized and probably very repetitive but this is my first time sort of articulating what i’ve been feeling so heavily recently. so, thank you again — i hold each and every one of you always in my heart, mind, and prayers!

<3 - Soup

(the man behind the curtain)

#tw transphobia #wow this is a lot #thanks for reading #i love yall #transgender christian #trans christian #trans and religious #trans and christian

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pcdrawsstuff · 6 months

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Verrry long post here but this should be all the pages I've done for this year's Inktober prompts! I wanted to make this somewhat coherent comic based on each prompt, so I guess I achieved that!

I'll probably stick to less sequential work after this one 'cause this was a huge pain on my end :,]

also yes this counts as my happy Halloween post

#inktober #inktober 2023 #inktober23 #ink drawing #comic art #short comic #traditional art #ink art #halloween #my art #wow this is a lot

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danpuff-ao3 · 9 months

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Fanbinding Process 1: Typesetting

Someone asked me to chronicle a fanbinding project a while back and now that I'm in the starting stages I figured "oh yeah I should do that!"

Disclaimer: still new at this. Please don't judge me. And also this is just what I do and really when it comes to some of the smaller details, that's personal choice and stuff you'll decide once you get going and know what you wanna do with it!

Anyway current project: A Choriambic Progression (one of my faves!) (I'm also doing In Between Days at the same time but I'm further along in that one so it's not a good one to really show.)

Step 1: Gotta save the fic! I'll say ahead of time how I do this with AO3 fic, even though A Choriambic Progression isn't on AO3. With that, I go to Download > HTML. I've found that way will copy over all the formatting whereas the other ones didn't for me. Then I open the HTML file and copy paste into Google Docs.

Instead with A Choriambic Progression I just went to the Wayback Machine link and copy/pasted all of that.

Step 2: I do my page setup before fixing the body of the work, so I inserted a few pages above the work. I consulted a few books on hand to decide the layout. Page 1 is a simple title page:

I know when I print, odd numbered pages will show up on the right and even numbers will be on the left. So when I first open the book, the simple title page will be face up.

Step 3.) Which means for Page 2 I do the copyright page:

I temporarily removed my actual location for this, but: I made a name for my bindery. Most I've seen have the location of the publishing company, so I have my location in that section. Most copyright pages vary in the setup and even some information, so I borrowed what I liked! A lot have like "First Printing: Date, Second Printing: Date" so I list where all I've found the work, plus when I'm binding it. Even though it's July right now, I figure most of my work on this will be in August so I put August 2023 for that.

For ISBN I usually will put AO3 ID: and the work ID #. Since this was originally posted to Ink Stained Fingers I used Ink ID instead and it's ID # (which is 21???? Very cool.) Also since this fic is old and not really anywhere else, I had to do my best guessing on the date, which as best as I can figure was sometime 2004? And the print line for funsies! Though I don't think I'll do more than this one printing of it, but who knows!

Step 4.) Images in Canva. Which is just....me creating whatever icons and images I want to use in Canva, which is at least a title image. In Canva I opened an Instagram Post sized template. I threw in the title + artist. I had no idea what sort of art I wanted, so I just typed in "magic" and found this crystal & plant art I liked. I fixed up the font how I liked and then went to Share > Download > check Transparent Background > Select Pages: 19 (to just save page 19) > Download.

I also went into another Canva project for smaller images that i call "icons" to make my bindery icon and also a simple image I want to have at the top of the first page and downloaded both of those.

Step 5.) Back in Google Docs aaaand....I knew I'd need some pages before my title image so on Page 3 I added the "archive information" (which is where I'll normally pull the info from AO3, but I did the same basic idea here.)

Then Step 6.) I inserted another blank page (CTRL + Enter) and on Page 6 I went to Insert > Image > Upload from Computer and added my title image. Below it I added my bindery icon and spent over fiddling with it to get it properly centered. (It never wants to center correctly.) Iirc I went into Format > Align & Indent and played with "center" and "increase/decrease indent" until it behaved itself.

Step 7.) CTRL + Enter for another blank page. Then I make sure the start of the fic is on an odd page (though I can always fix this later in Acrobat.) I inserted my cute lil story icon above the start of the story:

Step 8.) I realized I had a problem in that I did all this setup BEFORE setting my font. So I had to CTRL + A to select it all and set it to Times New Roman 16, which I know will print in a way I like.

Next I'll say, I like to keep the space between paragraphs in an ode to fanfic-y ways. But I also like indented paragraphs. So this is a personal choice, but with everything still selected I went to:

Format > Align & Indent > Indention Options > set Left & Right to 0. Then select Special Indent > First Line > set to .5.

THEN I had to go back and fix my title, copyright, and archive pages, but it's less annoying to do that than it would be to try to highlight over 300 pages to do this for JUST the fic. I later added some extras (such as the poem at the end, the author's note, and some review/recommendations for the fic that I wanted to format differently.)

....Basically just figure out how you want to format it.

Step 9.) CTRL + F. This fic was a NIGHTMARE to fix up, ngl. I did all of this last night but basically...I had to find all the scene breaks by going CTRL + F and searching "***" so I could replace those with a horizontal line (Insert > Horizontal Line.) But a few places had tildes instead so I had to do an extra CTRL + F: "~~~~" That wasn't so bad.

The bad part was realizing how much had to be italicized. Regular italic words had a "*" on either side, while correspondence began and ended with an underscore. So I had to CTRL + F: "_" and then highlight and italicize all the letters. Then CTRL + F: "*" to find all the italicized words of which there were like 200. Very tedious.

Step 10.) File > Download > PDF Document

Step 11.) I opened the PDF in Adobe Acrobat for my final stages. Mostly here I make sure all of the pages are in an order I like and make sure all of my pages that need to end up on the right are odd numbers. And if not, I can go to the sidebar on the right and go to "Organize Pages"...there I can reorganize or add blank pages where needed.

Step 12.) Page Numbers & Headers! Again this is personal preference but I can show you how I did it and you can make your own decisions about how you want to do it.

Close out of Organize Pages. Then from the sidebar I chose "Edit PDF." Then at the top toolbar I click on "Headers & Footers" and select "Add."

For me, I wanted the title as a header, and I wanted to insert page numbers. So in "Header Center" I wrote the title and in "Footer Center" I clicked on "Insert Page Numbers."

Then because I want my page numbering to start on Page 3 (I like to start numbering at the Archive Information page) I click on "Page Range Options" and in "Pages From:" I changed "1" to "3."

Note, if you fiddle with the pages later on and reorganize or add new blank pages, Adobe won't adjust the page numbers for you, which is why I make sure my pages are all in order first.

Step 13.) My least favorite part is REMOVING headers & footers from pages I don't want them on. So on all blank pages I took off the title & page number. I took the title off of the Archive information and the Title Image page. I took the title off of the "Recommendations" pages later on, too. It's not only tedious but Acrobat likes to be difficult about letting me select the page numbers so it takes a few tries of me getting the page just so before I can select and delete the page number.

Anyway at that point it's ready to go so I make sure to save it to my Fanbinding folder and next up I can print! So...we can do printing & page folding and maybe page cutting in Part 2.

You know...if I remember. 😬

#danpuff binds #progress pics #step by step #wow this is a lot #whoever asked for this i hope you're happy 😂

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weaseltotheface · 1 year

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I posted 21,361 times in 2022

5,728 posts created (27%)

15,633 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@xaykwolf

@takeiteasyjoan

@edarull

@peachythesequel

@wishful-thinkment

I tagged 3,503 of my posts in 2022

#cr spoilers - 1,579 posts

#exu spoilers - 320 posts

#exu calamity - 48 posts

#laudna - 29 posts

#spotify - 26 posts

#tlovm spoilers - 25 posts

#youtube - 21 posts

#4 sided dive - 21 posts

#lmao - 20 posts

#weasel plays pokemon scarlet - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#mango groove is an 11-piece south african afropop band whose music fuses pop and township music—especially marabi and kwela.mango groove

My Top Posts in 2022:

I know i must have forgotten at least one bad bitch but i can't for the life of me remember

269 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

Blake catching Adam's sword in gambol shroud's sheath during the bees v Adam fight is still the sickest fuckin move in all of rwby and half the ppl who saw it didn't even notice

287 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

Laudna: I'm a dead girl, people definitely have kinks

Imogen:

320 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

imogen will see a mostly dead woman pulling chunks of hair out of her scalp and dripping ooze and go "is anyone gonna pine helplessly after that" and then not wait for an answer

560 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Personally I will never stop feeling pain about laudna obsessing over her dolls being alive and what that means about how she views herself

697 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Wow this is a lot

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imconfusedbutok · 3 months

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I’ve got a story. (Slight TW)

I’ve got a little story, about a little girl. Once there was a little girl with dark hair and brown eyes. There was nothing really special about her appearance, or her personality, or her abilities. She grew up in a special family, but out of all of them, there was nothing really special about her. The only thing special about her, was her smile. She had a bright and happy smile that made everyone around her happy.

Out of all the special people in her special family, one stood out to everyone. The littlest of them, she had six fingers and six toes, and a little problem with her heart. This made everyone love the littlest one the most.

at first, our little girl didn’t mind. She loved her littlest sister with all her heart. She played with her and held her and carried her and did everything for her littlest sister.

and over the years they grew. The littlest sister remained the most special in the family. The older siblings of our little girl grew up and moved out. And the little sister watched them leave, every one. And she waited for them to come back.

some of them never did come back. but that was okay, because the little girl just smiled it off. Because everyone else was sad, and it was her little job to make everyone happy again!

one day, the little girl and her little sister got into a fight. The little sister got very, very angry at the little girl. She took her little hands and wrapped them around the little girl and squeezed as hard as she could until the little parents told the littlest girl to stop.

“it’s okay!” Said the little girl, blinking the tears from her eyes. “I’m okay! It didn’t hurt.”

she didn’t want her littlest sister to get in trouble. So the little girl lied and smiled and everything was okay. She found this was easier than crying. She figured out that she could actually put her bad feelings into a box! It was a lot easier than feeling them. And now she could be happy all the time! So that’s what she did.

for years and years, instead of feeling bad our little girl locked the feelings and nightmares and thoughts away in her little box. When her mom got sick, she took care of her. When her friends needed a therapist, she helped them. When she got hurt, she ignored it and got up to help others. When she was in pain, she shooed it away.

one day, the little girl found a crack in her little box. Little by little, the little girls emotions from all the years began seeping through her little box. distraught, she tried to tried to fix her little box. She sobbed and cried and desperately tried to keep it from breaking more.

Then the little girl looked at her hands. She saw red paint running down her hands from her wrists. She started crying harder.

when she looked up at the mirror, she hardly even recognized her reflection. It wasn’t a little girl, but a grown up teenager. The teenager glared at her.

”YOUR FAULT!” the teenager yelled.

“EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! NOBODY LOVES YOU! YOU’RE TOO SCARED! CRYING OVER NOTHING! I ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU!” The teenager yelled, they reached through the mirror, grabbed the little girl by the throat, and shoved her into the box.

Inside the box was cold. The little girl tried to look around, but it was too cramped and dark.

she sniffled.

“I’m sorry…” she said quietly, wiping her nose.

“I’ll be good, I promise…”

“please…”

“I’ll be good…”

and the little girl cried until she fell asleep.

but she wouldn’t wake up anytime soon.

she didn’t want to.

#Mental health #trigger warning #the little girl #Wow this is a lot #vent? I guess?#haha I swear I’m fine

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