#not to mention how fucking HARD it is to play a deeply repressing character without making them feel actually emotionless.

[bivampir]

it's SO funny that when asked what he had to do to prepare for his role in IWTV Sam Reid says he had to learn how to play the piano, learn to speak French, Italian, and English with a French accent. Bailey read IWTV religiously and added her own comments, and kept an actual fucking journal she wrote entirely as Claudia. meanwhile Jacob Anderson, when asked the same question, just responds with “oh nothing, i was already emo”. icons and legends only

#I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND #JUST TO BE CLEAR #I don't think Jacob didn't put a lot of effort into his Louis he's an incredibly talented actor and makes Louis everything he shouldve been #he's legit amazing and the way you as a viewer get a very clear sense of who Louis is and what's he like IMMEDIATELY after meeting him #not to mention how fucking HARD it is to play a deeply repressing character without making them feel actually emotionless. #and Jacob fucking nails it #NOT TO MENTION THE AMERICAN ACCENTS????? TWO DISTINCT ACCENTS THAT ARE BOTH SO PLAUSIBLE I WAS SHOCKED TO LEARN HE'S FUCKING BRI'ISH? #I JUST THINK HIS RESPONSE IS FUCKING HILARIOUS #IWTV #Jacob Anderson #Bailey Bass #Sam Reid #interview with the vampire #iwtv cast #amc iwtv #my posting #wow it's been a while #3rd degree failpost #didn't even notice this broke 1k 😭😭😭

[candychronicles]

bodyguard // s. todoroki

A/N: my take on the rockstar/band/performer au for bnharem! i’m not a big fan of au’s normally but this one was a lot of fun to write! todoroki is definitely ooc in this one but i took a lot of liberties with his character in order to better fit the au storyline.

CHARACTER PAIRING: Todoroki Shouto x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 5,091

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, gore, fighting, death, oral sex (f!receiving)

SYNOPSIS: you were in it for the money, he was an unhinged popstar. how could you two ever possibly get along?

want to read more rocking stories? click HERE !

the days at work were tiring, the nights even longer, but the pay was good and it was always satisfying to make a grown man cry as you knocked him to his knees and manhandled him away from your client.

Todoroki Shouto, one of the elite, the famed, the rich, and absolutely fucking annoying. sure, he was hot (anyone with an eye could see that) but he was just like everyone else in his industry: a cocky bastard. you didn’t mind his lifestyle too much except when it interfered with his job, like having to pry off whiny people who clung to him like their life depended on it, and for some, it probably did.

his biggest claim to fame was being in a now wildly famous band, namely the main singer. he was charming with a sultry voice and a personality that oozed confidence but he wasn’t always that way. in fact, he was originally a shy, anxiety ridden teen when he first joined, not sure how to use his voice or deal with people coming up to him in the streets. the life he lived was sheltered before that, training under his dad to take over the family business, but when sweet, innocent Todoroki confessed that he much rather be artsy and sing at the age of sixteen, things quickly changed for him. his father, Todoroki Enji, tried to convince him otherwise, told him that he didn’t know how the real world worked and that he would never be successful, but Shouto wouldn’t budge and eventually Enji caved in, or so it seemed.

Enji immediately enrolled Shouto in lessons, instructing him to shape up or ship out. if he couldn’t become successful in the industry, he would take over his father’s business instead, but that didn’t happen. Shouto excelled in lessons, blowing his instructors away with his timbre and control. he was a natural, and frankly, good enough to be a star. they weren’t so concerned with his stoic yet endearing personality. they had broken enough pop stars, molded them to be perfect model citizens, so what was one more?

the plan backfired immensely. as Shouto’s talent grew, Enji seeked out the biggest in the game, convincing them to give his son a chance at stardom. while reluctant, the board agreed, not wanting to piss off one of the most powerful men in Japan but were thoroughly surprised at the fact that his kid didn’t suck at all. in fact, he was actually good, really, really good.

they signed him immediately, whisking him away into the life of fame and fortune at the young age of seventeen. his range, the slight rasp to his tone and the ability to reach into somebody's soul and pluck the very feelings they try to hide so deeply from it’s depths pushed him towards the life of a rockstar. the freedom he had never been able to experience living at home pushed him over the edge and spiraled him out of control.

Todoroki drank, smoked, and fucked his way through cities big and small, getting himself into a lot of trouble along the way. the behavior went on for years, only getting worse as time went on. nobody seemed to be able to get control over the boy with the pretty hair and wild scar. after almost killing several women and one of his bandmates in a drunk driving accident, his team, label, and most importantly his father had enough.

the conversation between the two did not go well. Shouto was now an adult, legally free and clear from his father’s power. he had his own money, enough to live comfortably for awhile, even if he dropped the band, and all of the repressed rage, longing and anger that was pent up from his childhood. he was not stopping his lifestyle for anyone. that was, until you came along.

you were always a scrapper, getting yourself in trouble more times than you could count. it was just in your nature to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves and you spent many days on the playground beating up the bullies who picked on the sweet girl braiding flowers into her hair, or the boy who liked to play with baby dolls instead of trucks.

as you got older, your fights got fewer and farther in between, at least when it came to the public.

when you turned sixteen and kicked some kid who was trying to look up your skirt so hard in the chin that he saw stars, you were approached by a few men who slid you a card and told you if you wanted to make money fighting, come meet them.

you were a dumb kid and instead of running in the opposite direction and telling the police, you showed up at the seemingly dingy door behind the alley of a fairly run down ramen restaurant. knocking on the door and rocking back on your heels, you waited to see what would happen. it took a few seconds before a panel slid open, allowing you to see nothing but someone’s eyes peering at you in the mid-afternoon sun. hesitantly, you raised the business card in your hand, showing it to the person and jumping in surprise as the panel slammed shut and the door creaked open, inviting you in.

you nodded your head politely at who you realized was a rather bulky, burly man, before a woman dressed in a silky black dress plucked the card delicately from your hand and led you through the hallway. when she opened the door, you were taken aback by the scene.

people of all shapes and sizes stood cheering as two rather muscular men fought in an arena across the room. spit and blood flew across the floor as the two pummeled each other over and over again before one tapped out, the other man raising his fist in the air in victory. you stood, gaze fixed on the scene in front of you, blood racing at the thought of you being in the ring.

“addicting, isn’t it?” the woman whispered in your ear, a knowing smile on her face before she gently took you by the sleeve and guided you away from the screams and shouts into a private room that was much quieter.

you sat down in front of a man who was rather tall and thin, graying hair across his head and a clean shaven face.

“so, i heard you’re a good fighter. how good do you think you are?”

“uh-” you stuttered, not sure how to respond, “i think i can kick someone’s ass if i have a reason to.”

“is money a good enough reason for you?”

“money is a nice reward, yeah, yeah it is,” you confirmed, not pondering the question over for a second.

“good, you start on Saturday. come in comfy clothes that you won’t mind getting sweaty and dirty in. you’re my new ace, a secret weapon. give it six months time and you’ll be defeating guys like that out there in seconds.”

and defeat you did. over and over again, men, women, anyone who thought they were better than you were defeated by your own fists. you worked hard and then some, through literal sweat, blood and tears, to reach the status of champion of the underworld by the age of eighteen.

you were a wild card, unpredictable in your stature. you didn’t have hulking muscles and a sturdy frame, but what you did have was speed, the element of surprise, and the ability to calculate in a split second, all of which allowed you to defeat your enemies time and time again. this relative victory didn’t come without your share of sacrifices: hiding the bruises, blackened eyes and bloody lips from your family as you trained relentlessly, having to figure out a way to manage the steady flow of income that started coming your way as you fought in your first official matches, defeat after defeat as you trained, chipping a tooth and having it promptly filled in like nothing happened, having to learn how to disarm and fire a gun, work with knives and most importantly, losing a bit of your empathy along the way.

it came as no surprise when people who were much more powerful and much, much richer started taking an interest in you, placing large bets upon your head at some of the higher staked matches, a feat you worked your way up to after many years. you never failed to disappoint, knowing that these fights were the ones that mattered the most, the ones that brought you, and your boss, the biggest pools of money.

it was at one of these fights on a dreary, rainy night that you met Todoroki Enji, a hulking man that failed to intimidate you. you were used to people his size and bigger thinking he could take advantage of someone like you and it only made you chuckle thinking of how easy it would be to have him on his knees in seconds.

“i’ve made a proposal to your boss that he couldn’t refuse. he said he couldn’t and wouldn’t force you to do anything, but since you’re quite motivated by money, i think you’ll be intrigued by my offer,” he started, sitting down next to you in one of the VIP booths, sliding his business card on the table with a sly smile.

you were interested and entertained him, listening to him ramble about his shitty kid and his bad behavior. amused, you sipped on your drink as you absorbed his rants and whines about the negative reputation his kid was creating for himself, how he abused his freedom and power to the fullest extent and how his life was spiraling out of control.

“what does this have to do with me, exactly?” you finally questioned, setting your drink down and turning to face him, eyes met squarely with his own.

“i’d like to hire you to be his personal bodyguard.”

“sounds like he needs a babysitter, not a bodyguard,” you retorted, getting ready to stand up and move away from this blathering idiot.

when he spit out a number so outrageous, however, you sat back down, now thoroughly intrigued by the situation at hand. satisfied that he had your full attention, he went into details, laying down a fairly thin stack of papers in front of you as you listened to every detail.

“so let me get this straight. i’m to be his personal bodyguard, keep his shitty behavior a little more under control, whip him up into shape sort of situation. that’s it? and i’ll get paid that much for being a glorified babysitter?”

“you will have to protect him, of course. there are some crazy fans out there that climb windows, seduce themselves into his bed, stalk him, chase him down, but i don’t think it’s anything that, with your expertise, you can’t handle.”

you continued to ponder the situation before gesturing him to continue with his story. he rambled for another moment or two before picking up the papers and going over them with you: standard non-disclosure agreements, a detailed list of your job description and a contract agreement that he was subleasing you through your boss.

after a few minutes of reading the contracts over and discussing them with your boss, you agreed to the scenario, locking yourself into what would be a rather entertaining six months.

the first time you met Todoroki, he instantly tried to hit on you, but when his hand lowered down to grab your ass, you had him on his knees with his left hand behind his back before he could even blink. after that encounter, your conversations were curt. he knew what you were here for and he wasn’t about to let you get his way.

what he wasn’t expecting was for you to be so relaxed about the whole situation. he still drank, still partied, fucked almost whatever girl or guy he wanted, but anytime things got too out of hand, you stepped in, firm but gentle, guiding the crying groupies out of his bedroom after their time was over, driving him every time he got too drunk, cutting him off from any supplies when he was getting out of hand and most importantly, keeping him safe during his travels.

he never realized how much danger he was always in until you mitigated the problems with ease. he just assumed that being assaulted on the daily was something that came with being in the public until you broke some robbers finger when they tried to swipe the wallet out of his own back pocket. after that, he almost clung to you like a koala on a tree anytime he was out in public. you provided stability in a time where he was drowning in his own worries.

that didn’t mean he was ever nice to you though. in reality, he was actually sometimes meaner to you, the simple fact that some girl could be stronger than him set him off, always feeling on edge around you. you weren’t necessarily quiet, offering up any and all small bits and pieces about yourself that he ever wanted to know, but he never really knew you: not your last name, where you were from, if you had any siblings, parents, where you went to school, what your job was, who you were on the inside. it bugged him like crazy to know what your favorite color was and that you liked cheese on your ramen but not anything important, anything he wanted to know.

you liked to keep it that way, however, and would stay as friendly yet aloof as possible. this was a job to you, a job that would set you up easy for awhile and gave you a break from fighting for the most part. you wouldn’t admit to yourself that you liked the man more than you would’ve expected. you felt the way he clung to you as fans swarmed him, the way he always looked to you in reassurance as you walked the streets at night, hearing his sobs in the shower, sobs that were so broken and confused. it showed to you a side of him that was vulnerable, that showed emotion.

he broke down towards the end of your stay, realizing a little too late how much easier it was for you to do your job when he was cooperative and nice. in fact, he began to be more open about enjoying your company and spending time with you. it made it harder for you to continue with your job knowing you were falling for the pretty rich boy, for the man you were hired to protect, for the man who looked at you like you could do no wrong but vehemently would deny it. you began enjoying the little moments with him, the stolen glances, the laughing. you didn’t know what changed in him but you were glad he was someone you could get along with. underneath that crazy exterior, he was just a guy who wanted a friend.

your six months came up relatively quickly. it sucked that your cushy job living in five star hotels, eating decadent meals and working out in state of the art facilities would be over soon but you felt yourself getting lazy, weak and losing your rather sharp edge. it was time to get back into the grind and despite your heart panging at the fact that you would leave the pretty boy with the angry and sad heart behind, you were ready to go.

your last night of work consisted of the final show in Tokyo. tens of thousands of guests were set to attend what would be the bands biggest concert ever. you were calm, cool and collected as always, but the singer, not so much.

he spent the day pacing back and forth, warming up his vocals, hydrating himself, stretching and generally doing his best to calm his nerves.

in a rare act of affection, you reached out to grab your hand with his own, looking him dead in the eye and telling him that this night would be one he would remember forever; and you were right, just not for the way either of you thought.

the show went amazing, the crowd loud and receptive, the choreography flawless, the singing perfect. Todoroki ran off stage with the biggest smile he had ever seen and in his own rare display of affection, twirled you around with ease, adrenaline still pumping through his system.

you congratulated him on the great show and waited patiently for him to remove all the makeup and his costume. he emerged a little while later, hair flat against his head, wet from the shower, sweatpants and an inconspicuous gray hoodie donning his body. you bid a pleasant farewell to his bandmates before escorting him back to the car. he had requested that you drive him back to the hotel and spend one final night in the comfortable hotel beds before you headed back to your hometown.

when you arrived, however, things felt quiet, a little too quiet, and the hair stood up on the back of your neck.

“Shouto, you need to get into the driver’s seat right now, turn on the car and lock it. do not let me in until i tell you to. do not get out of the car, okay?”

he began to question you but before he had a chance to argue, you were pushing him out of the way as a knife sliced towards him, figures cloaked in black emerging from the shadows.

one, two, three, four.

you counted out the four assailants as you shoved Shouto against the car, prompting him to unlock and scramble in through the back seat. only when you heard the click of the lock did you breathe a sigh of relief and begin your attack.

the first man with the knife was tall and lanky, using his height to his advantage, trying to overwhelm you, but with a quick kick to the back of his kneecaps, he went tumbling onto his knees. now shorter than you, you were able to control him by grabbing onto the top of his head and slamming it into the ground, effectively knocking him out.

one, two, three.

the next man thought his muscles would save the day, but his size lacked any true speed, and you were able to land fingers to his eyes, a punch square to his nose. a quick chokehold and he was knocked out against the concrete as well.

one, two.

they both came at once, knives flailing in the air as they sliced your way. one managed to gouge out a chunk of flesh in your arm but you paid no mind, too focused on the task at hand as you grabbed the knife with your hand and used the other arm to knock into their elbow, making them loosen their grip enough to let go of the blade that you then embedded into their shoulder. the other assailant took your distraction to swing the knife your way and as you were trying to dodge the serrated edge, used their other fist to swing up into your chin. you felt your teeth chatter against each other, blood mixing with saliva as you bit your tongue. spitting, you slammed your hand down against their wrist, grabbing the knife with your hand and yanking, not caring that it sliced into your palm as you flipped the weapon around to shove it into their abdomen.

with both men distracted, you slammed your fist against the car door, telling Shouto to quickly unlock it so you could get in. when you heard the telltale click, you instantly dove into the backseat, yelling at him to lock it and drive as fast as he could back to the hotel. he did as he was told with an eerie calmness to him, backing out and around the attackers that were attempting to survey the damage that had been dealt to them.

once you had made the relatively quick trip back to the hotel, you hurriedly jumped out of the car, telling Shouto to carry his own bags so you could be on alert if anything were to happen, scanning each and every corner for a possible other attack. thankfully, everything was safe as you made your way into his hotel room.

you dropped him off quietly, not even attempting to walk into his room, but only fifteen minutes had passed before he was knocking on your door, a first aid kit he had gotten from the front desk securely tucked under his arm.

you let him in without a word, locking the door behind you and turning to face him. before you had a chance to ask what he was doing there, he had dragged you into your rather grandiose bathroom, sitting you on the steps leading up to the jacuzzi tub and pulling out the contents of the kit onto the floor.

he began by assessing the damage to your wounds, cleaning and disinfecting them before wrapping both your hand and arm rather efficiently.

“i had to wrap a lot of my own wounds as well as my siblings. dear old dad let the temper get the best of him sometimes and it wasn’t always so pretty,” he explained, teeth clenching together in an attempt to remain calm.

“thanks for this. i’m sure they’ll heal just fine,” you replied, not wanting to put him in a situation where he had to talk about his troubling past.

“you could’ve died protecting me today, you know?”

“that’s my job Todoroki. i was hired to protect you, i protected you, and i’m fine, thank you very much. this is not my first fight and it definitely won’t be my last.”

he sighed, rubbing his temples as he sat down on the marble floor in front of you, holding your wounded hand in his own, tracing the fabric that surrounded your palm.

“i recognized one of the cars in the parking lot. it was a company car, one of my dad’s cars to be precise. i know they can seem relatively inconspicuous but i memorized every car my dad ever had, big or small. it was definitely his car.”

you mulled over his words for a moment before sighing yourself, slumping against the stairs as your head rested against the rim of the tub.

“your dad sent those men, huh? that’s why you were so eerily calm driving away. you knew you weren’t really in any danger, that those men were secretly there to kill me,” you finally concluded, anger boiling deep within the pit of your stomach.

“yeah, i think they were. i don’t think dad is too fond of the fact that you and i got close. i-i like you a lot more than i let on, i’ve told him so. i thought that would make him happy, knowing i have someone in my life that i could rely on and trust, but he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t control you after these six months were up, think he wanted to teach me a lesson.”

“wouldn’t be the first time i’ve had a hit out on my head. this one, however, is probably going to be a lot tricker to deal with.”

Shouto sunk deeper into himself, body shaking with rage as he saw the fight flash in his head over and over again.

“i’m going to protect you. if you want to, that is. i’ll sign you on as my own bodyguard, however much money you want. i’ll be by your side always, make sure that nobody tries to kill you, tries to hurt you like that again.”

“i can fend for myself Todoroki.”

“it’s Shouto. and why won’t you let anyone else take care of you? listen, i know i’ve been kind of an ass but i thought we were at least friends, and yet i know nothing about you. i know your favorite color, your favorite animal, that you like sunsets and the rain and snuggling under comfy sheets at the end of the day, that your eyes sparkle when you get a chance to fight but secretly crave peace and comfort, but i don’t know who you are. your name, your story, why you’re really here.”

you heaved as you sat back up, staring him straight in the eye to find no malice, no anger, only confusion, empathy and maybe even a bit of longing. so you told him, you told him everything: who you were, what you were, where you grew up, about your childhood dog and all the scraps you had as a kid, how two strange men in suits approached you and groomed you to fight at the age of sixteen, how it was the only thing you knew how to do, the only thing you were good at, how you scared yourself sometimes because you enjoyed the pain that came with the fights. he sat there watching, eyes wide and unblinking as he absorbed every word you said, every bit of pain and anxiety, of longing for someone to love and understand you, of not having to fight all the time, of wanting to be vulnerable for once.

“let me take care of you,” he declared, standing up and outstretching his hand towards you, helping you up from the cool tile, hand coming to rest behind your head once you had steadied yourself.

he leaned forward, unsure and hesitant, before placing his lips against your own, soft and gentle, tasting of mint chapstick and coffee. you were unsure of yourself, awkward, full of aches and pains, wanting so badly to let go but never wanting to get hurt.

“it’s okay, you’re safe with me. let me take care of you, please.”

that was all it took for you to open up, looping your arms around his neck as he led you back to the bedroom, careful to not run you into anything. your knees hit the back of the bed and you reflexively tensed up, like a deer in headlights.

he shushed you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms, heeding the bandage and wound underneath. you laid back after that, body attempting to relax as his hands ran themselves soothingly over your body, across your breasts, the flesh of your stomach, your thighs, the corded muscles in your calves, slipping your shoes off, your socks, kissing every inch of your body along the way, making sure you were comfortable. you shimmied out of your pants, your tight shirt, bra, underwear, finally bare for him to see, scars, bruises, all the imperfections of your life.

“so, so beautiful,” he murmured, taking his time to kiss every single blemish and scar that you had, wanting you to feel his dedication.

after what felt like hours of soft kisses, his thumb came to rest on your clit, rubbing in quick and precise circles, fingers gently parting your folds to press into your body, back arching at the feeling of him already.

“it’s all about you tonight, okay? just relax, let me show you how much i appreciate you.”

and appreciate you he did. he dropped to his knees, nose nuzzling into your pubic bone as he kitten licked your clit once, twice, three times, testing your reaction. you whined and squirmed at the feeling, already overwhelmed by his fingers lazily dragging in and out of you. you wanted, needed more, but Todoroki wouldn’t hear any of that. you deserved to be treated right, treated gently tonight, to allow your worries to melt away, if only for a few moments.

his fingers began picking up pace, pistoning in and out of you, his fingers curling in all the right spots, fists clenched into the downy comforter as you attempted to ground yourself from the overwhelming situation. his tongue worked against your clit, changing speed and pressure, trying to find what was the right combination to set you off, watching your every move intently as you squirmed around on the bed. before he even got a chance to get into a routine, you were already cumming over his fingers, creamy liquid coating the digits.

he hummed in contentment, pulling his fingers out to lick up the syrup, you watching with your pupils blown wide.

you went to sit up, body aching from the adrenaline of the fight, but he pushed you back down into the plush bed, tutting as he settled his head against your thigh, kissing, sucking and biting along the plump flesh, leaving little marks only he would know about.

his tongue began lapping at your clit again, this time harsher, more in tune with what your body wanted. you clenched your legs around his head, fisting his hair with your good hand as you tried to ground yourself yet again to reality. his velvety tongue felt like heaven against your body, coaxing moans and sighs out of your mouth. you felt your second orgasm hit you like a freight truck, tingles running up your spine. you tried to push his head away but he only held your body down, a frighteningly feral look on his face as he continued to lap against your clit, unrelenting in his pursuit to pull orgasm after orgasm from you.

after, two, three, four more highs, you couldn’t tell where one began and one ended, he was finally satisfied, pulling his face away, chin glistening in the dim light. your eyes were teary and red, overwhelmed by everything he had put you through. you had never been more satisfied in your life, and by the look on Shouto’s face, he knew it too.

your eyelids began to droop and your body relaxed into the mattress as you came back down into reality. Shouto shuffled around the room before settling you into your bed, tucking the sheets around your body and propping your head against your pillow.

he was enamored by your, by your story, how you opened up so willingly to him after tonight. nothing would get in between you two now. he was just starting to truly know you, know the real you, and nothing was going to stop him from wooing you until you were his, not even his father., and if her life was ever threatened again by him, well, Shouto would just have to kill Todoroki Enji.

#todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shouto todoroki #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha #bnharem collab

[ginjointsintheworld]

Shame spiral is a great description for it. Having Lauren not only lose her relationship but be once again shunned by the staff would be way too much. I know she made this decision and has to face the consequences but it feels like a pile on. Also, I agree, I’m moving on from how the confrontation comes about. My main thought right now is if Leyla starts off angry or sad. Angry I can handle but if she comes up to Lauren already in the know and devastated, it’ll be my end. That scene of her asking Lauren if she thought their relationship was real last season was even too much, sad Leyla(all the Leyla’s tbh)is my weakness. I get why Lauren can’t say no!

it's like. i know lauren fucked up and she violated leyla's trust and autonomy with this decision with the 5th spot but i just can't let go of the fact that it's being made out as this vile decision when other characters in the show have done, in my opinion, equal or even worse things without catching even half if any of the blowback lauren is getting. casey calling her immoral? self-serving? yes. undermining what leyla has done for herself? yes. but immoral? that just.... i don't know that really twisted me in the wrong way. not to mention piling on the idea that the entire staff would lose respect for her over this. work is literally all lauren has if her personal life goes to hell and to in a sense, take that away too? i just. what the fuck man.

nobody called floyd immoral when he basically helped force a man, so deeply repressed and hating himself that he contracted hiv having dangerous unprotected sex, back in the closet. nobody call max immoral when he took A THOUSAND vaccines away from people because he thought they were too privileged to deserve it. HE. MADE. THAT. DECISION. A. DOCTOR. in the middle of a pandemic. then ended up trying to give it to privileged people anyways because he misjudged essential workers and POC thinking they would be too distrustful of medicine to get vaccinated only for the vaccines to expire. that's a thousand wasted doses and a thousand people delayed getting protection from the virus. NOBODY called him immoral for that or lost respect. he literally bemoans what he did for 2 minutes before helen comforts him and switches the topic to his custody battle for luna. nobody even gave max lip, for saving his friends' jobs by sacrificing countless others'. out of his own guilt for his own decision to go to london then playing it as "i protected you, i saved you, i made the hard decision now so you didn't have to face the punishment" and never giving them a chance to weigh in on something that impacts the lives of people they care about because HE was too afraid to tell them the bad news.

but lauren? for creating that 5th spot that yes, impacted leyla, but didn't take anything away or deprive anyone else of an opportunity, gets shunned, extorted and loses someone she loves with every flawed but well intentioned ounce of who she is? i fucking loathe that.

same, i would prefer a blowout fight over just sad, devastated silence, too hurt and broken to spend any energy feeling otherwise. i think lauren would prefer leyla's anger too tbh. i really hope we get to see and sit in this full confrontation and the writers give it the moment it deserves. if it's going to hurt and be inevitable then at least respect the characters enough to make it worth it.

#anon #asks

[aria-i-adagio]

5,10, 14,20 please!

Gracias! I’m guessing this is from the OTP asks and for Anders/Hawke. Hope it is.

10) What scares them about entering a relationship?

Heheh.

Anders, of course, is convinced that being with him will likely get Hawke killed. Or that Hawke will decide that he’s a monster who is unworthy of being loved.

Adrian gets intensely attached to people. (Anxious attachment style.) He’s deeply afraid of getting into a relationship only to lose another person he loves.

14) What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?

Good news. They’re both idiots, but they’re both touch-starved idiots. Asking for it probably isn’t a problem.

Adrian is also very much a “I found this thing I thought you’d like/made me think of you, here is it. Do you like it? Please like it.” kind of guy.

20) When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments?

With Anders canonical default endearment being ‘my love’, there’s plenty of evidence that he’d also be fairly free with the “I love you.” Adrian tends to be a bit more reserved. Be that as it may, Adrian said it first.

5) How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

I guess the question is like versus *like*.

I tend to go with the idea that no matter what romance route is played that Anders has at least some romantic interest in Hawke from Act 1. But after Karl’s death, I think there’s a combination of both not being ready and believing that he’s too dangerous for anyone to be in a relationship with him.

Adrian was interested in Anders from very early on. Oddly attractive man with a ‘sexy, tortured look’ develops into honest admiration of the fact that Anders is one of the few people in Kirkwall who’s actually interested in doing something good. But he’s A) used to playing his cards close to his chest (as while Ferelden may not particularly care about same-sex relationships, there does seem to be something of an expectation that they shouldn’t get in the way of children, Leandra has definitely messed with his head, etc.), and B) he’s a small, somewhat insecure ball of anxiety who’s afraid of rejection. He also very good at repressing things, so for most of Act 1, he’s in denial of being interested beyond a “yep, that one’s handsome.”

However, have a show rather than tell. (SFW fic below. Unedited.)

Hawke has determined that he does not like the Deep Roads. And he hates Bartrand. Who the fuck does that? Leaves their brother to die over a chunk of stone, or whatever that idol was made of?

You let your brother die. You left him.

That was different. I couldn’t protect him. I tried, I swear.

Bethany sneaks up on him from behind and loops her arm through his. She leans her head on his shoulder. “Carver was already dead, ‘Dri.”

He knows that she can’t actually read minds, but sometimes he wonders whether she picked the skill up somewhere. Or maybe it’s a little sister thing. He stops walking and tilts his head to the side, touching his cheek to her hair. “I should have -”

“If any of us could have, we would have.” Bethany pats the other side of his face. “Look about, is this a decently safe place?”

The Deep Roads do require a qualifier for the word safe. Adrian lifts his head and glances around. Ahead, there’s a bridge over a chasm. If it’s sturdy enough, it will give them good lines of sight and walls on two sides. “Ahead will do.”

“Thanks, ‘Dri.” Bethany lets go of his arm and jogs ahead to where Varric and Anders are walking together, both with their weapons in hand, reasoning that if Anders could sense darkspawn, Varric might be able to take them down with Bianca before they got too close. Or thin them out. “Hey. Think it’s night yet?”

“You’re the only Sunshine I see. What’s your opinion?”

“That I’m tired.”

Varric looks around and shrugs. “Then it’s night. Might as well make camp.”

Hawke keeps watch well after they've eaten a sad and meager (who knows how long they'll be searching for an exit now?) meal of hard bread. Bethany told him that he didn't need to; the glyphs she and Anders had set on either end of the bridge would last far past the time Varric's little clockwork watch was set to come. But he couldn't talk himself into following her advice. Darkspawn had killed Carver. They were not going to take Bethany from him.

He isn't the only one still awake. Anders had laid out his bedroll as close to the fire as he could, and he huddles close to the glow of the embers. He’d panicked when Bartrand swung the door closed on in, and once it became clear that neither Varric nore Hawke would be able to pick the locking mechanism, cast multiple spells at the door before giving up on the idea of breaking through it by force. The mage had been quiet since, not even Varric had been able to draw him out.

"You alright?"

Anders lifts his face. There are always dark circles around his eyes, but they look worse in the low light of the fire. "I hate the Deep Roads."

"You could have said no." Hawke asked him to come because he had experience with the Deep Roads, and Darkspawn, and according to what was said of the Grey Wardens would be able to sense them ahead of time. "I would have understood."

Anders smiles grimly. "They're worse without a cat."

"You should try to sleep."

"You should too. Those glyphs I set were designed by a Warden mage. They're strong. This spot is as safe as it's going to get."

"Good to know." Hawke lies down, unsure whether he'll sleep, or just rest his eyes and listen for trouble. "Hey, Anders -"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Well, I'm here now."

It might have been an hour, it might have been two, and Hawke might have fallen asleep, or he might have been awake the whole time, but his eyes snap open the moment he hears something other than the crackling of coals. A low, distressed groan and panicked, incoherent mumbling. Hawke opens his eyes. There’s just enough of a glow left in the few embers to see Anders rolling over fitfully, flinging his arm out, nearly managing to catch his fingers in what’s left of the fire. His other arm falls over his mouth, muffling what might have been a scream if allowed to escape.

Hawke tosses off his blanket and crawls across the pavers to him. As he pulls Anders outstretched arm back from the fire, the mage’s eyes snap open and he bolts upright with a gasp, forehead knocking against Hawke’s chin.

“Hey there. You were dreaming.”

“I can hear them.” Anders curls forward, draws his long legs against his chest, and wraps his arms around his knees. “I can still hear it.”

"Hear what? The darkspawn?"

Anders doesn't respond with words, he just goes limp and slumps to the side. Adrian catches him and lets him lean his head against his shoulder. He's perfectly still for a minute, then awkwardly runs his hand through the mage's hair, not entirely sure Anders is awake enough to know where he is, much less who's holding him.

"Take a few deep breaths, okay?" Adrian wraps his other arm around Anders' and pats his shoulder. His joke about Anders 'sexy, tortured look' didn't seem quite as funny at the moment. "Nothing has tripped the glyphs you set. We're okay."

Anders' breathing calms, at least a little. "It's so dark. I can't do this again. I can't."

"I'd build back up the fire for you, but there's no fuel left." Varric had carefully gathered a certain dry fungus from the walls of the cages as they walked. It was the only combustible material available. "Do you hear them more, in the dark?"

"Or I hear nothing in the dark. Not a sound, not a word. I'm alone in it again, and..." The pitch and volume of his voice begins to rise and on instinct, Adrian hugs him tightly. Maker, the poor man is miserable. Hawke never would have asked him to come if he had only known.

Anders shudders and hiccups. "I can't be alone in the dark."

"I'm here." What happened to Anders that made the dark so terrifying? The Deep Roads themselves weren't always dark. Parts were. Other parts were lit by the glow of some sort of marvelous dwarven lamps that still worked after centuries. This wasn't one of those areas, and the lower the embers grow, the more Anders trembles. Without really noticing it, Adrian begins to rub his back and whisper in his ear, the way he sometimes had when one or the other of the twins woke with a childhood nightmare.

He doesn't know Anders well. It's maybe been three or four months since he sought him out to get the maps of the Deep Roads. He's good to know though - a good man. Bethany agrees. And Varric had taken the mage under his wing; Hawke knew the dwarf was paying off the Carta to leave the Darktown clinic alone.

Anders is also handsome in his own way, devilishly funny, and flirtatious, despite the very sad look he gets in his eyes if someone mentions the word Tranquil. 'I hadn't seen him in years,' Anders said, the one time Adrian got him to talk. 'But you know how it is, with first loves.'

Adrian does not actually know how it is with first loves. What relationships he had in Lothering weren't love affairs, just temporary flings with a presumed end date. A Ferelden freeholder needs a wife, needs children to help him work the land. It's just the way of things. No sense in getting too attached.

Like he's getting attached to this mage who hides years of sadness underneath dry humor. Anders has put himself back together a few times already, and right now, the cracks are showing.

"Lay back down. I'll stay with you."

It takes a few more shivers and hiccups before Anders does stretch his long limbs back out. Adrian intends to just sit next to him, maybe keep their fingers together, but Anders pulls at his arm until he lies down beside him on the narrow bedroll, on his side with his head cushioned on his folded arm. Adrian hesitantly strokes Anders' hair, and when that earns him a soft sigh, loops his free arm around the other man and snuggles a bit closer.

After all, it's not just dark in the Deep Roads, it's damn chilly as well. That’s what he tells himself.

When Varric’s little mechanical clock chimes a fake morning, Hawke still curled up around Anders, and Bethany is smirking at him.

#ask meme answers #dragon age fanfiction #hawke #anders #handers #adrian hawke

[jade-untamed]

The Untamed Ep. #5 Re-watch

please enjoy this selection of text messages I spammed my best friend with in reaction to Ep 5. this got a little long and out of hand but I just have a lot of thoughts on these boys

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Wei Ying is just so happy to see Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji doesn’t understand it And how cute! After their little fight Wei Wuxian reaches out and adjusts Lan Wangji’s sleeve where it blew up with the wind There he goes blaming Wangji again like take some damn responsibility bby Then Wei Wuxian starts spouting nonsense (not actually nonsense. My take is that Lan Wangji is actually very interested in who keeps sneaking to the back hills and how it might relate to the spirit snatch but also his uncle gave him an order and he has to follow it) so he grabs Wei Wuxian and starts dragging him back And the way Wei Wuxian just can’t stop glancing at Lan Wangji (who has no time or patience left for Wei Ying at this point) like he’s sizing him up and just as intrigued by him as Lan Wangji is by Wei Ying Wei Wuxian pays him a genuine compliment and Wangji doesn’t even react like he gets so many compliments in a day they don’t phase him (which is honestly why Wei Ying’s insults probably get to him so much tbh) And Lan Wangji is shocked when Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan and feels bad for ignoring him for a lil bit. And when Wei Wuxian asks him why he hates him he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t hate him at this point. He never really did. But then Wei Wuxian just keeps talking and walking and then blames Wangji again and he’s just like *ignores* BUT the next thing that gets a reaction out of Wangji is Wei Ying saying he’ll kneel for him and I think that’s very telling. I think it’s the start of the don’t flirt unless you mean it mentality Lan Wangji brings up later in the cave and that’s why he silences Wei Wuxian after that in the library. When Wei Wuxian draws the portrait of Lan Wangji I think this moment strikes me so much because it’s one of the first times Wangji feels truly seen. He’s been told he’s hard and rigid and has been the perfect disciple under the strict order of his uncle and brother but then Wei Wuxian captures the essence of him. He draws a flower in his hair. And it’s not meant as a slight in any way. It’s because Wei Wuxian sees the gentleness inside of Wangji that so few else do. And Wei Wuxian asks if it’s boring. Is it boring to have one’s self be seen by another? Will Lan Wangji think it’s boring? Does he say that as a defense mechanism to things that he knows will be distracting? Do you think Lan Wangji keeps calling Wei Wuxian boring in the beginning because he’s trying to convince himself the other boy is uninteresting when he’s obviously interesting enough to capture Lan Wangji’s attention and he hates it? Or does he say it when Wei Wuxian is being particularly interesting one moment and then acting like everyone else the next? Because everyone else bores him except for Wei Wuxian? AND THEN the scandalized look on Lan Wangji’s face when he sees the risqué picture and gets mad enough to throw propriety out the window and call Wei Ying by his formal name. And boy is ready to fight™ because that’s the only valid way for him to express his emotions because he’s emotionally repressed and is this flirting? Is this teasing? Is this being bullied? What is this? He’s never had someone do or say the stuff to him that Wei Wuxian does and says. And he tells Wei Wuxian to piss off and idk why but that’s so funny to me And he’s just like fine I’ll piss off im good at that anyway. Like bby. And when there’s a breach in the ward Wangji thinks it’s Wei Ying (also the smile Lan Xichen gets on his face when Lan Wangji calls the other boy by that name I DIE because Lan Wangji has probably not ever been familiar enough with anyone outside of family to use their formal name) and Xichen casually lets him know it’s not in fact Wei Ying. And Lan Wangji is just like ??? How did I get it so wrong? He’s such a trouble maker you sure bro? But he knows deep down his brother is right Also just. The sibling relationships. I have a whole essay I’m going to write one day on the level of devotion these characters display for one another. They show love through deep and endless devotion to each other and I think that’s really neat. Wangji all itS aGAInST tHe RuLeS when Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng show up with Wen Qing to help fight the water ghosts Trying to say they don’t need help Xichen fighting a smile cuz he knows Wangji’s just being like that because he feels awkward and then invites them anyway. And Wangji’s is like ET TU Like bro how dare you see through me like this I’m trying to be aloof and unapproachable and you’re *literally* making them approach me And then Lan Xichen to casually mention it looked to him like Lan Wangji wanted them to go. THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN And Xichen’s all...wasn’t I right? And Lan Wangji’s just like bro I’m having a crisis I don’t even like the guy but he’s also the only person who really sees me besides you and idk how to feel about that and also I think he’s really misunderstood and you seem to think that too and you approve of him so he has to be good because you’re good. And I...also approve of him? Most of the time? And people say I’m good so, again, he has to be good. And he is, I think, good and kind. But he gets under my skin so much and idk why. Do you know why, Xichen? You have to know why since you see through me and invited them even though I was trying so hard to play it cool But also the wording Xichen uses “you seemed to want the two boys to go together” and again Wangji sees how deeply Wei Wuxian values his familial ties and it makes him soft Wei Wuxian wanting to make a bet with Lan Wangji that the water ghosts aren’t actually water ghosts. And him smiling and saying I bet we think the same. Wangji says it boring because WEI WUXIAN IS THE ONLY ONE ON HIS LEVEL AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT. Wangji’s like yeah we probably will think the same goddamnit you’re too fucking smart for your own good why are you the way you are. But he’s right, is the thing. And for some reason Wangji can’t stand it that Wei Wuxian already knows him this well. Boring. NO BRO ITS NOT YOURE JUST IN GAY PANIC MODE Wei Ying being the first to suspect the spirit snatching and the water ghosts that aren’t water ghosts are related. Xichen being like nah my dude. But Wangji being like hm and then Wei Ying being like you think your bro is hiding something? And Wangji would never actually say it but Wei Wuxian READS IT ON HIS FACE and doesn’t even realize he’s kind of just up-ended Lan Wangji’s world by the ease with which he reads him and he keeps talking without realizing the gravity of what happened and Lan Wangji gets annoyed and spills out his liquor in retaliation because he’s actually just a little emotionally stunted and doesn’t know how to handle his feelings Wangji being high key impressed by how Wei Wuxian can tell the water ghosts was under his boat but also mad at himself for not noticing it first like smh he’s supposed to be one of the best cultivators in the world and this Boy over here saw it before him. Boring. (It’s not actually boring at all and he knows this. It’s interesting. Very very interesting. But Lan Wangji doesn’t know why it’s so interesting to him) Lan Xichen calling Wei Ying an expert and Lan Wangji being *rageragerage* about it because of the above but Wei Ying thinking he’s glaring because he got splashed a little is the epitome of how bad these two are when it comes to miscommunication So when Wei Ying walks over on the boat and is all whisper whisper nudge nudge we have an understanding now right? And Lan Wangji being as eloquent as ever is just like wahhh stay away from me And it very obviously hurts Wei Ying’s feeling for real but he tries to hide it because he’s TRYING so hard to be Lan Wangji’s friend and every time it feels like he gets somewhere Wangji takes two steps back And it’s actually a beautiful kind of dance that goes on for the whole story because even if it is one step forward two steps back they are always parallel to each other even when on different paths because they are the only two who can keep up with each other and that’s what sets them apart. One light one dark, yin and yang. Two sides to the same coin. Wei Ying being like *take me by the heart when you take me by the hand* LAN ZHAN WHY ARENT YOU TAKING ME BY THE HAND and Wangji like I don’t touch other people And Wei Wuxian is like dude you’ve touched me before. Bro we are intimate. Remember that time I almost went on my knees for you? Bro take my hand And when Wen Ning gets all ~white soulless eyes~ Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are the only two who see Wei Wuxian checking up on his bff Wen Ning because he genuinely cares and giving him a protection talisman and telling Wen Qing that even if she’s up to no good and making trouble in the neighborhood he still wants to help Wen Ning be safe. I think that’s very sexy of him Wangji talking to Xichen and being like hey remember when Wei Ying was like these two things are related right? And you were like nah. Well I think he was right how about you? But then immediately after that Wei Wuxian gives him a fruit and he’s like FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS LOQUATS and yeets it away (Like he wishes he could yeet his feelings) Xichen again like you want some? I’ll buy you some! But Lan Wangji unfortunately probably has a long history with denying himself the things he wants and the things Wei Wuxian is awakening in him are just another thing to repress so he rejects all acts of kindness from the other man for fear that giving in once will be the start of his slow descent into something he’s never allowed himself to experience before and can’t even properly allow himself to even want.  

#the untamed #cql #the untamed episode 5 #wei wuxian #lan wangji #commentary #the untamed commentary #wei ying #lan zhan

[serenagaywaterford]

#5 - now don’t hold back, how do you really feel about Nick? Haha... yeah, Max so far hasn’t been great, thinking back, there was only the one scene with Eden that was somewhat memorable for me. Nothing else really stood out. There is still time though, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t dislike him as much as you do, I think he’s served a purpose, provides really the only comfort June has in this world. Don’t think of him as June’s hero, but someone June uses to survive...

People like a ship on a show, I get that. This one is really the only logical one. When you are stuck together in this world, it’s only natural. Even when Luke is still in the picture technically. But I just don’t care... for me a happy ending for June is for her to be reunited with her daughters, and have Moira/Emily in her life (don’t think Janine makes it to Canada). Either Luke/Nick or both in her life is a nice little bonus, but not essential.

--------

LMAO. I keep all my Nick hate repressed in a little hard ball in my tummy (mostly cos I don’t care for fandom drama) but sometimes the wordvomit just spews when I feel safe on my blog haha. Everyone needs their release, right? LOL. I just sort of wish they’d cast a better actor. I probably would still have some of the same issues, but not to such a high level.

I agree. I think we’re talking about the same Nick/Eden scene? (I’m thinking the one at the pool where he’s trying to talk her out of doing the Dumb Teenage Thing she wants to do. (I love Eden sfm, ngl.) Is that the one you’re thinking of too?) I will admit, that is probably only the second time I have ever really enjoyed his acting or a scene with him. It’s the only time I’ve ever enjoyed a scene with him that doesn’t also have Serena in it. Cos, the other one I really liked was when he confronts Serena about June’s mental health. The tension there was so good. Again, he wasn’t on Yvonne’s level but it was a good enough scene writing and directing-wise that Yvonne could carry it easily and Max rose up a little to meet her. Almost. I’m biased, ofc.

Don’t get me wrong, I may be completely bored by the character/actor BUT I do recognise his integral purpose to June’s story, and appreciate that June does need/deserve/want comfort and only he can do that for her. He is (was, arguably, cos I personally think he’s served this purpose and it’s done) totally necessary to her survival, especially from a psychological standpoint. I just resist other people calling him a fucking hero. He’s not. June is. He’s her sidekick. He’s part of what makes her able to overcome certain circumstances, and lbr, without him, she’d probably be dead or in the Colonies cos Fred ain’t ever knocking her up. It’s more fandom’s obsession with treating him like the centre of the THT universe and everything about June revolves around him and it’s just disgusting to me to take a story about women, and especially a particular woman, and center it on a MAN.

((((Cos he’s cute, allegedly.))))

I never had a huge issue with it in the book, cos characters are made to play certain roles in assisting the protagonist. But I honestly have no understanding how anybody could read the book and go, “Hmm, this is good and all, but it’ll be so much more interesting to make it all about the guy, Nick.” 

[Caveat... I am completely aware of how hypocritical I’m being, lol. I read the book and Serena was a somewhat interesting character but nowhere near as fascinating as she is on the show, lmao. At least, imo, she’s a woman, in a story that should be about women.]

Not to mention, Luke exists. And June still deeply loves him. Clearly. As soon as Nick even mentioned him, her mind went to him and Hannah. Whether I think they can work again (I don’t) outside Gilead, meh. Luke exists. Luke wants June back. June probably will attempt to make it work with him again as a family. Nick is not her “soulmate”, imo. I don’t want some epic romance bullshit for this show.

Now, in all fairness, Luke doesn’t exactly get a free pass from me either. I don’t really like the guy. (For different reasons. I think the actor is perfect actually for the role and does it very well.) I just find the character of Luke, sort of like a wet rag. Again, he’s another character that just sort of slides on by, not really caring and not taking the women’s concerns seriously (esp obvs in convos with Moira) and then just sulks a lot. Like, a lot. I get trauma gets handled differently by different people but Luke rubs me the wrong way. Even before Gilead. He seemed to have no issue being “the man of the house” and stepping into that patriarchal role. AGAIN, if we’re coming back to complaints about Serena not having any foresight, here’s another character that didn’t really care what was happening until it affected him personally. Now, that’s not to say criticisms of Serena for those reasons aren’t warranted; they totally are (She is at the far extreme end). But there are a whole host of characters who also gave no real shits about anyone else until they were personally affected by the system (Nick and June also fall on this spectrum, and arguably Nick is way down with Serena in terms of this, whereas Luke and June are not as bad, and June is certainly not as bad as Luke. Where was he at the protests? Hmm?). That’s sort of the whole point of the flashbacks about the rise of Gilead? We all sort of just go along with things, no matter how bad they are for others... until it personally affects us??? And often then, it’s too late to fix it. It’s the insidious rise of fascism in a nutshell.

People like a ship on a show, I get that. This one is really the only logical one. When you are stuck together in this world, it’s only natural.

Exactly! It is completely understandable and natural. And I enjoy seeing June regain parts of herself and find some pleasure and freedom through it. And you would latch onto anybody who can offer that. But Gilead, and especially June’s world, is a very, very small part of things and she has little access to anything else. Of course, a man being kind to her and protective of her and giving her good sex, hope, comfort, respect, affection, love, etc etc. is good. What else does the poor woman have? Fred? Serena? Rita? That’s her entire world. In that house. But what happens when that world expands? 

And I do completely understand shipping them. It does make total sense. And I gotta say, shipping canon pairings is such a relief. (I rarely have that opportunity lmao but when I did, it was so NICE.) 

Honestly, there isn’t much else to choose from in THT. It’s easy enough to keep shipping out of it but fandom is inherently shippy and full of straight fangirls, I think. It’s gonna happen. If AO3 is anything to go by, the majority (by an overwhelming amount) is June/Nick, with June/Serena second*, and June/Luke and June/Fred trailing those two. I get it.

(* I actually think this number would be higher if 2x10 had not happened the way it did. Specifically if it had not been Serena suggesting it (or at least had the lead up been better written). I saw a surge of interest after 2x08 especially but wham! 2x10, and then it’s just like, “HOW??? This is so wrong now, when it was only problematic before, now it’s like woah no way.”)

I agree about the happy ending. It’s June, free, with her daughters. Moira is absolutely essential to be in June’s life. I will not accept it otherwise. They are not allowed to kill Moira. She must be there. If it’s just June, Moira, Hannah, and Nicole, that’ll do.

Emily, eh. For me, I’m not that attached to the character and I want her healing more than anything, wherever that is. There’s another one who I’m not convinced would be able to just slide back into life with Sylvia and Oliver. (She had mentally given up on them way before she even was mutilated. it’s gonna be an incredibly hard road for her.) I want Emily alive and working towards being less traumatized. Minimum. I think she should have died way back, but since they’ve kept her alive this long and via such completely idiotic means, she has to stay alive now.

ITA about Janine, sadly. This may be sacrilege, but I’d rather her make it thru the series alive than Emily? I don’t dislike Emily by any means but I just enjoy Janine more. I find her more interesting. Eek. Is that bad?

I’d rather not have Nick around, simply cos it’s too much potential for stupid TV love triangle drama, and you know the showrunners won’t be able to resist playing on that. OR, going down the “June is pining for the love she left behind and that’s why it doesn’t work with Luke” route (BARF!). OR, alternately, presenting it as some super-cool post-monogamy hippie commune thing where people can just get on and there's no such thing as jealousy. Either way, I don’t want it. So I’d rather just knock out Nick in a blaze of glory, doing something incredibly brave and selfless for the CAUSE. Not just for June. I’m sick of his whole “for June only” shtick. Other women exist. Other women need your help too. I personally think it would perfect for him to die helping other women who specifically are not June nor connected to her. It would show some growth. If he dies for June specifically, I don’t think that shows any growth whatsoever. I’d argue that him dying For June just proves he’s not learnt anything, because it’s still just about what he wants and how things affect him.

But hey, I don’t think they will kill off Nick at all. He’s too much of a fan fav. I would like them too, but I don’t get what I want on TV. And probably only 7 people would watch the show I’d write, lol.

#long post #please don't have this post show up in searches or tags #and i'm tired of using asterisks lol #i don't want fangirls on my case lol #(i have no issue defending myself but i'd just rather not have to bother lmao) #Anonymous