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saeyoungs-sunflower · 4 years

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(HC) RFA + MC in Quarantine

Listen lads, this is just a silly I wrote this the other day (I may have been a little but tipsy but shh) and I thought I might as well share it. I hope this cheers some of you up during such a scary time <3

***

Yoosung:

★ okay this is gonna sound obvious

★ but bare with

★ G A M E S

★ but!!! not just LOLOL!! oh no no!

★ i’m talking board games, PC games, active games like tag and hide and seek

★ you guys basically act like children how are you surviving on your own

★ you guys also do LOADS of cooking

★ like so much

★ you’re baking like one cake a day pls slow down

★ ngl you guys are thriving staying home all the time lol

★ if Yoosung has online classes, you set up a study club!

★ he does his college work whilst you do whatever work you gotta do boo love that tEAMWORK

★ honestly you guys have never been so productive oop

Zen:

❤︎ oh boy

❤︎ be prepared to be SMOTHERED in love

❤︎ zen i love you too but pls i have stuff to do

❤︎ m o v i e n i g h t s

❤︎ f a c e m a s k s

❤︎ there are so many movies/tv series that you guys have been waiting to watch together but haven't had time to bc of zen’s work

❤︎ big sad :(

❤︎ BUT GUESS WHAT FAM

❤︎ WORK IS CANCELLED TIME TO SNUGGLE DOWN AND WATCH SOME DAMN CINEMA

❤︎ it usually turns into make out sessions but shh nobody has to know

❤︎ Zen kinda discovered that you guys c a n n o t cook

❤︎ so!!! you learn!!!

❤︎ it’s MESSY y’all

❤︎ “aw mc you look so cute with flour on your nose” throws flour at your face “zen i sWeaR tO GoD I just wanna make b r e ad leave me ALONE”

❤︎ quality couple time <3

Jaehee:

☞ lets get down to business

☞ to defeat

☞ THE H A N

☞ lol JK

☞ seriously the house has never been cleaner

☞ obvs your cafe isn't open so y’all have some time on your hands

☞ one day Jaehee suggests gardening

☞ oh man

☞ it escalated

☞ gardening has now become an OBSESSION

☞ honestly you couldn't find a prettier garden on pinterest swear down

☞ you also decided to renovate the house you’ve been meaning to do it but have never had the time

☞ your house is now a work of art wow proud of you guys <333

☞ tbh, Jaehee actually has a small fear of getting sick/you getting sick so you guys are only leaving the house if it is a b s o l u t e l y necessary

Jumin:

♚ nobody talk about the bad ending

♚ i said don’t…

♚ he’s be waiting for this moment who needs a cage when you have a national lockdown

♚ all jokes aside though this man still has to work from home

♚ poor bby

♚ let us all shed a tear for Jumin Han

♚ you love to bring him tea and homemade baked goods whilst he works and guess what??? so does he lol

♚ it is time

♚ to D A N C E

♚ this man is so extra oml

♚ insists on taking online ballroom dance lessons bc why not MC hmmm???

♚ he is actually a very good dancer

♚ once you guys get good enough it turns into spontaneous ballroom dancing in the kitchen whilst you clean up after dinner

♚ wine??? wine did you say??? W I N E???

♚ oh b o y

♚ you've seen each other tipsy before, and lemme tell ya it takes a lot to get this man drunk

♚ his tolerance is so high from all the w i n e

♚ but one night you two get absolutely HAMMERED like oh my God guys calm down pls

♚ rip your liver lmao

♚ it makes for a v e r y funny evening though you guys have literal tears in your eyes and its so nice to see the mighty Jumin Han loosen up a little aw bless

Saeyoung:

☀︎ okay

☀︎ listen

☀︎ this man is absolutely out of control i can’t

☀︎ you thought he was a prankster before???? oh man i am so sorry

☀︎ “saeyoung why is there a balloon above saeran’s door” “don’t worry bout it babe” “i am WORRYING SAEYOUNG”

☀︎ on a serious note though being stuck in the house does sometimes bring back some bad memories for him

☀︎ there are some bad days where he just n e e d s to get out

☀︎ so you sometimes go out for a quick drive in some desert place ya know let’s be sensible

☀︎ you guys have also made a habit of climbing to the roof and watching the stars aw

☀︎ you’ve also both fallen a sleep there a few times oopsy daisy

☀︎ the memes are the only thing getting you guys through at this point it’s a problem

☀︎ but you are loving the quality time with your choi boys so it’s not all bad <3

☀︎ family snuggles are a must

☀︎ a M U S T

☀︎ the desired s n u g g l e position is you sat on Saeyoung’s lap, your legs draped over Saeran’s lap and Saeran’s head resting on Saeyoung’s shoulder AW

☀︎ sometimes you hold Saeran’s hand whilst he’s asleep bc your edgy boi needs love but wont ask for it ever

❁ first of all

❁ a w

❁ this man is the sweetest peach

❁ he makes so many cute things for you whilst you guys are in lockdown

❁ i mean he’s writing letters, knitting you scarves, painting you pictures the whole shebang

❁ he even made you a pyjamas

❁ he’s sewing guys he’s out of control

❁ if your working/reading/just having a quiet moment he will sketch you

❁ you wouldn't know it though bc he’s a s n e a k y bastard

❁ he’s never filled a sketchbook so fast and it’s his most treasured possession

❁ a book!!! filled with YOU!!!!! amazing!!!!!!

❁ wait, did you hear that????

❁ oh yeah

❁ ITS ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME

❁ actual children

❁ even if what you make is terrible its just so fun because you're doing it together

❁ brb just crying my eyes out i love this man so much

❁ you guys also make care packages and do the grocery shopping for the elderly/at risk people in your area and deliver it for them AND sewing scrubs/masks for doctors

❁ “I don’t want to stay inside doing nothing all the time when there are people who need help” THIS MAN IS TOO MUCH

Saeran:

☽ i hope you're ready for this grumpy motherfucker

☽ he never went outside anyway but now that he cant go out it sounds like the best thing in the world saeran pls

☽ ah yes it is time to wake up

☽ oh it’s 4pm?????

☽ HA who needs a sleep schedule anyway

☽ also Saeyoung is not the only twin with the Mischief Gene™

☽ oh no no no

☽ you two team up and absolutely destroy him

☽ i am so sorry Saeyoung but you had this coming

☽ when Saeran says that he wants to learn an instrument you are GOBSMACKED

☽ HELL Y E S

☽ he orders a keyboard and omg he’s such a fast learner

☽ probs from all the years of hacking ouch

☽ do i smell??? A FAMILY BAND?????

☽ you and Saeyoung play kazoo

☽ Saeran has left the chat

☽ seriously though his piano playing is so pretty and it calms him down so much ughhh PRECIOUS TOMATO BOI

***

This is so chaotic hahahah I hope you enjoyed though. If people liked it I’ll do some more silly things like this. It was a nice break from...the other stuff I’m writing...hint hint watch this space ;)

Masterlist

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ambered-glazed-sheep · 4 years

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Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016).

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence.

You got a unknown voice telling you:

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden.

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls.

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues.

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process.

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore.

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility.

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega.

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden?

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over.

Next up is the Slayers Testament.

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer.

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them.

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact.

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him.

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

#amber talks #doom #where do i even begin with this?#i wanted to answer this in the morning but that was over an hour ago now #jdakjsdhasdjh i can't help myself theres so much to say about doom!!!!#you asked for this anon #it's just so... *clenches fist*#i forgot of course that the music is pretty much the best thing ever and i've been listening to it SO MUCH while writing litve #everything about this game is designed to make you feel powerful and HOLY SHIT is it working #id software did a great job #i watched a whole documentary on this it was great #...yeah i study 3d stuff this is pretty much in m #my field haha #i've just had all these feelings in me for months and now that someone showed the slightest hint of interest it's all coming out #sorry its so unorganized i tried to at least take one point after the other #now to write another essay on why the slayer and the mandalorian are very alike in some parts but mando is so much softer #(its because slayer has been trough hell and back while mando still has hope in the world)#(i mean mando is a jaded and tough bounty hunter but all that he is doomslayer is cranked up to eleven)#(shush now i said in another essay! go to bed)#(....its not gonna be an essay its gonna be a fanfic and its gonna be great)#(mando is such a softie......)#*pushes my mando/slayer agenda on my side blog as well* ah i see #long post #...very long post #hey i've hit 2k words with this!#....i've written litve chapters that are shorter #EDIT: WAIT FUCK I THINK I MIXED UP THE SECURITY GUARDS LINES WITH A FIC I READ ONCE #or did i gave EX that line in the last ask i answered????#i'm??? im gonna go to sleep lol

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incomprehensiblelentils · 4 years

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I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me.

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

#me

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 181: 9:59 A.M.

Previously on BnHA: Gentle continued to rassle with Deku and asked him why he wanted to be a hero. Deku said it was because of everyone who helped him and supported him and believed in him; he wanted to make them proud and “show them a brighter future.” The two of them bonded in that shounen way, and meanwhile La Brava sprinted into the woods trying to hack U.A.’s network. Unfortunately she ran into Hounddog and a bunch of Ectoplasm clones. Realizing the jig was up, she went back to warn Gentle, only to find him lying defeated on the ground, having just fallen victim to Deku’s latest Shoot Style move, St. Louis Smash. La Brava was all “let him go!!” and ran up to Deku and started adorably beating on him with her lil fists. Gentle belatedly realized that he had put her in this situation and made her into his accomplice even though she was innocent. In an attempt to get her sentence reduced, he flung Deku into the air with his quirk to try and make it look like the battle never occurred. Ecto and Hounddog then came out of the woods, and Gentle surrendered.

Today on BnHA: There is a not-as-tense-as-they-try-to-make-it-seem scene where we wait and see if the festival is going to be cancelled due to Gentle’s shenanigans. Apparently the heroes have been instructed to start the evacuation process upon “confirmation of hostile intent.” But Gentle says he is not hostile. He says he’s committed a lot of crimes, but that La Brava is innocent and was brainwashed by him, and he asks them to pardon her. Deku then comes out of the woods and the heroes ask if he fought with Gentle. Deku white lies his way out of the situation, saying that Gentle was trying to pull a prank and that the two of them had “a small dispute.” Apparently Hounddog is satisfied by that, because he reports back to the other heroes that the situation is fine, and then he and Ecto apprehend Gentle and La Brava and take them to the police. Meanwhile Deku hurries back to get cleaned up and changed, and makes it back with only moments to spare. The concert begins, with Eri watching excitedly from Mirio’s arms.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 207 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

we’re opening on a “moments earlier” flashback of Ecto being informed via his headset that a student went out shopping earlier and hasn’t come back

and now Hounddog is contacting him and saying that something’s going on near to where he is, and he’s going to borrow a few of Ecto’s clones to go check it out

Ecto’s asking if it’s an emergency, and Hounddog is giving him a ton of detail based on scent alone omg

wow Hounddog, you’re pretty cool aren’t you. “three people, not moving any more, and they’re all freaked out and sweaty”

and look how scary he is

I freaking love him omg

OH THANK GOD

so because the intruders have no hostile intent, the festival can still go on! what a stupid loophole! I’m so glad they exploited it lmao

you know, if this was in any way a serious villain operation, this kind of shrugging-your-shoulders approach would definitely get a few more students kidnapped and/or killed. nice to see U.A. hasn’t learned a damn thing lol

Ecto recognizes Gentle from his Youtube vids as “that villain that’s only quick to run away”

now Hounddog’s grabbing him by the collar and asking where his comrades are

Gentle says he has none

Hounddog is all “what about those injuries and the general mess in the vicinity indicating that a battle has recently taken place?”

and Gentle says he “had a stumble”

lmao. “one heck of a whoopsy-daisy there. good thing I have Life Alert”

Hounddog’s asking if it was just the two of them and Gentle says yes

oh snaaaaaaaaap

I wonder if he knows which student? he should learn how to identify Deku’s scent specifically since it’s always him getting involved in these things. would save some time

meanwhile we’re cutting back to the student in question who is landing now

and he’s thinking back to what Gentle said earlier and he’s figured out that he was trying to protect La Brava and spare her from the full consequences of all this if possible

meanwhile Gentle is telling Hounddog, “if you’re looking for the boy, he’s just over there...”

oh have you finally learned a life lesson then

Gentle gained +500 self awareness points! too late! but at least he got them lol

I hope Aiba has the sense to keep her mouth shut

he’s asking them to pardon her

she’s so little and cute, I’m sure they will omg

meanwhile Aiba is sobbing and clinging to Gentle and thinking no, he didn’t brainwash her, she really loves him

eh, a little of column A, a little of column B...

now Hounddog is asking Deku if he fought Gentle

well, aside from it being obvious at a glance, I’m sure he can probably smell it too

wow Deku

look at this little green punk and his smooth white lies

anyways, so he says it’s all right now

Aiba is still clinging to Gentle and sobbing

getting the feeling these guys can see right through Deku’s bullshit, but at the same time they can kind of figure out why he’s not being 100% truthful, and they don’t want to ruin the day for the kids and bring a storm of negative PR raining down upon U.A. either

so The Sheriff -- who we haven’t seen a while, how you doin bud -- is asking for a report!

AND OH MY GOD

FUCKING CALLED IT. LOOK AT THIS GUY. JUST A BIG SOFTIE IN THE END ARENTCHA

so he says they’ll continue to keep their guard up, but for the time being they can stand down

and they’re taking Gentle into custody and telling him he can explain the details to the police

and as they lead him away, Gentle is telling Deku that he was once enrolled in a hero course, and that he became a criminal due to the despair of having to drop out

look how fucking massive Hounddog’s arm is oh my god

and also! yes, that’s very sweet, very nice, catharsis, etc. etc. everyone understands each other yay

fsdfkhlk now Ecto is stepping in and suddenly unleashing an array of powerful dad moves!!

telling him All Might was worried! seeing Deku look panicked when he realizes the time, and reassuring him that he still has time to get back! telling Deku they’ll go together to pick up the things Deku lost! ECTO YOU ARE GREAT AND SO UNDERRATED OMG. DARK HORSE MVP

MEANWHILE ONE OF DEKU’S ACTUAL DADS HAS JUST FOUND OUT HE’S MISSING AND HE’S REALLY PISSED OFF

getting the feeling that Aizawa would have never signed that permission slip. it was pretty irresponsible of All Might tbh. just, statistically the data shows that you don’t let Deku go off on his own. you just don’t. you don’t, All Might

and apparently the shirts say “A Band”! even for the kids who aren’t in the actual band! I wonder who came up with that name. sounds like the work of Todoroki “my hero name is Shouto” Shouto to me

(ETA: as we now know, it was actually Yaoyorozu “Shouto and I have a lot more in common than you know” Momo)

now we’re following Deku on a brief journey to pick up the bags he dropped, while he thinks to himself about how similar he and Gentle were, and that they both fought for others

okay but let’s not pretend Gentle was fighting for La Brava’s sake until the very end, though

anyway, the bags weren’t where Deku left them, but thankfully an old lady picked them up and they found them around 9:35!

AND GUYS LOOK AT THIS OMG

KAMINARI DENKI YOU TRULY KNOW NO FEAR HUH. that Kacchan thing really emboldened him. he came out of it alive and was all, “wow I can really get away with anything, huh?”

AND HE CAN! WHAT A REVELATION

(ETA: okay but for real, I know BakuDeku and KiriBaku are the #1 and #3 most popular pairings in the series (going by AO3 anyway), but after reading this arc, I can’t help but feel like KamiBaku is being slept on. Kaminari’s Little Bro Energy and his willingness to test boundaries put together with Kacchan’s frankly shocking levels of compliance make for an amazing combo. the cuteness potential here is off the fucking charts)

so people are milling around and wondering what class A has in store and saying they’re excited

and of course they are, because class A famously kicks ass as we have all realized by now

and now Eri is shyly tugging at her big bro Mirio’s sleeve and asking if Deku is going to dance

YOU BET HE IS, ERI. HE’S GOING TO DANCE YOUR SOCKS OFF

and All Might is running up to Aizawa, presumably to tell him they found Deku and everything’s hunky dory now

look at all these people!

SO LET’S BE SURE TO GIVE EM A SHOW, EVERYONE

holy shit it’s 9:59 and still no Deku in sight. fucking kid always has to make an entrance

AHHHHHHHHHH

I’M MORE EXCITED THAN THIS WHOLE FUCKING CROWD PUT TOGETHER OMGGG

WHO IS THAT SHOUTING “YAOYOROZU” OVER ON THE LEFT?? DID I SOMEHOW GET TRANSPORTED INTO THIS MANGA AND DIDN’T REALIZE

(ETA: apparently these are all of her fans from the commercials she did with Snake Hair Lady and Kendou. not my preferred way for Momo to get a following, but I can’t say I object to her having a following. what can I say, these people know perfection when they see it)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS IT OH MY GOD. THE ANIME BETTER KNOCK THIS OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK

BUT OH MY GOD, EVEN THOUGH IT’S JUST ONE PAGE I’M FUCKING LOSING MY MIND

(ETA: oh my god I’m so glad we got more in the next chapter though. I was prepared to take whatever we got, but for a moment I genuinely thought this was gonna be it, and after all of that buildup I’m so happy we did get the full performance and each of the characters got a little moment to shine)

MOMO’S HARDCORE CHEERING SQUAD!! EITHER THAT OR JIROU ACTUALLY WROTE A SONG THAT CONSISTS OF NOTHING BUT MOMO’S NAME OVER AND OVER, AND THEY ELECTED TO PLAY THIS AS THEIR OPENING ACT. I KNOW THIS ISN’T ACTUALLY WHAT’S HAPPENING, BUT IT STILL CAN BE CANON IN MY HEART

MIRIO HOISTING ERI UP TO SEE

THIS IS THE CUTEST PANEL WE’VE EVER HAD IN THIS MANGA. SUCK IT, ALL YOU OTHER PANELS

BAKUGOU PLAYING THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE DRUMS! FUCKING MURDER EVERYONE WITH YOUR SOUND BOIIIII

AND ERI SMILING

I’M DEAD. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. THIS IS SO FUCKING GREAT. I LOVE IT. THANK YOU, MANGA. I’M PLAYING “Y CONTROL” ON REPEAT, FUCK YEAH

YOU DON’T NEED A BONUS, JUST ENJOY THE MAGICAL MOMENT

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #gentle (bnha)#la brava #hounddog (bnha)#ectoplasm (bnha)#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #my ideal a band set:#y control by the yeah yeah yeahs #followed by cake by the ocean by dnce #followed by locked out of heaven by bruno mars #and concluding with everlong by the foo fighters #because you just can’t top everlong

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codetrainwreck · 5 years

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2 part ask

From @midnyghtmadnes

This response is kinda long, so it’s hidden behind a read more lol.

As I said in the summary, I haven’t seen the movie. All of the summary stuff and info is from 2 people who’ve seen + the movie pamphlet. But I’m still interested in seeing it. I’m going to Japan in April and I’ll be seeing it as many times as I can if it’s still in theaters. My reasons for wanting to see it, however, are because of Cute Boys.

My attachment to Geass has nothing to do with Lelouch or the setting or the story or [whatever]. I have been 110% completely invested in this series ever since Schneizel turned around in the first opening of the first episode. I’m pretty weak to cute blonde dudes w/nice bangs. CLAMP designs are truly powerful. He appears in the movie in glasses and he looks pretty hot so uhhhh regardless of story, plot, etc things, the movie somehow has something for me. As an added bonus, there’s also this green haired pretty boy voiced by one of my favorite VAs. 👀👀👀

However, compared to the original TV anime, honestly I’m just rolling my eyes. “The Gate that CC uses is below the prison that Suzaku JUST SO HAPPENS to be held at”. Is there only one fucking prison in all of Zilkhstan? Then Chamna’s Geass is to rewind time by 6 hours when she dies. Uhm, so like, why can’t she just daisy chain that shit? Also, “Shirley used her status as a normal college student to take Lelouch’s corpse to France w/o being monitored” except accompanying her was Schneizel, who is the recently appointed #2 of the UFN and was probably already relatively famous?

Stuff like Lelouch and Nunnally’s relationship really makes me scratch my head as well. I get that they were trying to make a comparison between Chamna/Chalio and Lelouch/Nunnally - “Wow Chalio is completely dependent on Chamna but Nunnally can live without Lelouch“. Him leaving her doesn’t bother me - his plan in the TV show was pretty clearly to leave her side one day. It’s the speed and way that it happens in the movie that is seriously “wtf”. Like, your little sister watched you fucking die and held your hand as you died and witnessed you take your last breath and she was probably traumatized as fuck and you’re just bailing 5 seconds after she wakes up? Dude, Lelouch, can you maybe chill and wait at least a day or something?

And then, about world building and setting and such... The plot of the movie largely feels without consequence. No one talks about Zero Requiem. Not as in, “no one talks about how Emperor Lelouch was a big dick and then he died”, but like, “what was happened to the world since then” isn’t really expanded upon. We go from Kallen’s ending narration where she says, “Of course, there are still problems in the world, but people are working on fixing them”... to a 2 year time skip where Everything is Awesome except in Zilkhstan apparently.

I don’t even know what to assume happened off-screen: Did Kaguya, Nunnally, the Chinese Empress, and their presumably European friend make a 4 girl idol band that went to tour to different countries and got other countries to join the UFN? Did Schneizel, who now isn’t allowed to blow up the capitals of all first world countries, have to Do Things the Hard Way and in 2 fucking years he just fixed like 80% of everything?

One of the things Taniguchi has mentioned in Re;surrection interviews is about using the recap movies + Re;surrection universe as a jumping off point for new Geass. To be completely honest, I am kind of “meh” about that whole idea.

Fictional stories typically revolve around a conflict. Sometimes it’s an internal character conflict which requires the characters to grow, sometimes it’s a conflict that involves the whole world. Every single Geass spinoff has been about Some Form of Conflict. The one that seems to have been adopted into canon the most is Oz the Reflection, which is a story told parallel to the main conflict of Lelouch of the Rebellion.

The elements of Geass that people like have become very obvious over the years: “Give us Lelouch dicking people and waving his hands fabulously and pressing a single button to blow up All the Ground.” Every single fucking Geass spinoff has a Lelouch clone (Dash in Renya) or just Literally Lelouch (Akito) and I think it’s annoying.

So, how would they even make something else in this setting? The world becomes Even More Awesome because Papa Eyebrows has Zilkhstan joining the UFN at the end of the movie. Having more made up countries who are not part of the UFN presenting a challenge(?) for our heroes just to become friends with everyone at the end would be the same shit repeated again.

I feel like a, “10,000 years in the future” setting would largely be a repeat as well: “Oh no, peace was destroyed over time, let’s fight until the world is at peace again”.

Meanwhile, Lelouch. Well, let’s see: Lelouch’s internal conflicts with his parents have looooooooong been resolved. He has removed himself from the world stage and leaves the Zero identity in Suzaku’s hands. @touchreceptors noted that even his personality seems completely different in the movie. Lelouch hints about him and CC going off to “find the fragments of Geass” at the end of the movie. (This is potentially a reference to the web series which is also called “Fragments”, but who knows.)

And that’s like... the biggest expanded universe hook we have? What are they gonna do - show Lelouch -- who’s personality got neutered since he got revived -- and CC -- who’s personality got rewritten in the recap movies to be a 1 dimensional object orbiting around Lelouch -- traveling somehow w/o Lelouch being recognized and finding ~Fragments of the Geass~ while occasionally running into old characters? I would absolutely still watch that hoping for the occasional Schneizel cameo but I wouldn’t be thrilled about it.

Personally, if I were in charge of making a new Geass thing, I would skip this stupid Plot Extension with the Geass fragments and just make Code Geass: Fumoffu or Code Geass: Carnival Phantasm...

#asks #code geass #lelouch of the resurrection

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arivers610 · 5 years

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Rejection Hurts

“They rejected my article!” Celeste sat down on the bench and slammed her article down.

“What, why did they do that, I thought it was great, Mina took the paper from Celeste and read the comments, they said it didn’t resonate with the readers?”

“Yeah because apparently the only thing people care about are sports and whether or not the coffee machine works in the cafeteria.”

Nehemie shook her head and took the paper from Mina,

“That isn’t right, you wrote about something that every woman experiences every day. I cannot tell you how many times a day I have to fight the urge to smack some guy because they’re staring at my hijab.” Nehemie handed the paper to Erica who gave Celeste an apologetic look and handed it back to her.

“Well apparently they don’t care about that and my article was too polarizing. The “male gaze” is really about more than just men but whatever I’m not going to write about something dumb just to get published in the college newspaper.”

“You should just make your own newspaper and write whatever you want, Daisy gasped, or you can make a blog. I would totally read it.” She reached across the table and took a French fry off Mina’s plate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what do you think?” Celeste asked.

“I mean it sounds cool but do you think anyone besides us are going to be interested in it?” Mina scooted closer to Celeste to avoid getting plowed over by the rush of people coming out of their classes.

“Yeah, I think there are a lot of unheard voices on campus. I mean both publications at the college are run by guys and the majority of their stories have to do with athletics and most of their contributors are men.”

Celeste knew she sounded preachy but it was the truth. When she met with the people who ran the newspaper she felt the male gaze even then.

“True but are you sure you’re not doing this because they rejected your article?” Mina stated even though she already knew the answer.

“Okay that might be a factor but it’s in the college handbook, we’re allowed to start our own club as long as we have five people in it.”

“Awesome, oh I was thinking of a name, how about Girl Gang?” Mina suggested.

“I don’t know if the college will approve that, they might think we’re an actual gang and we’re planning to pop caps in people’s asses.” Celeste pretended to shoot a fake gun.

“We are, we’re going to pop a cap into the ass of the patriarchy!”

Celeste laughed and bumped her shoulder into Mina’s,

“Shh don’t reveal our plans.” Celeste whispered.

“Hey Celeste, she walked faster dragging Mina with her, can you slow down a sec?”

Ian stopped in front of her and put his hand up,

“What do you want, Ivan?” Celeste rolled her eyes.

“I want you to come to my house after class so we can do our, he licked his lips, homework together.”

She made a disgusted face and shook her head,

“Well I want world peace so I guess we both want things were not going to get in this lifetime.”

“So you’re saying…no.” Ian acted as if he didn’t hear Celeste correctly.

Celeste looked over at Mina and laughed. Mina shrugged her shoulders and stepped back.

“Yes, I’m saying no, Celeste stepped closer, so give up and find your next victim because it isn’t going to be me.”

“See here’s thing about me, I never give up and I like a challenge.” He said stepping closer.

“Is that it, is that your winning line?” Celeste glared and clicked her tongue.

“No, just one more thing, he stepped closer, closer than Celeste liked but she didn’t step back, you’re so god damn beautiful.”

She didn’t blink, she just stared at him. Nothing witty came to her mind so Celeste reached back, grabbed Mina’s arm, and walked away.

“Girl, what was that about?! I thought y’all were going to kiss for a second!” Mina made a kissy face at Celeste and poked her sides.

“Stop that, Celeste pushed her hands away, It’s nothing, he was just kidding.” Celeste looked at Ian over her shoulder

“That was not a joke, he was giving you them eyes.” Mina teased.

“What eyes?” Celeste widened her eyes and leaned in.

“The “I’m undressing you slowly in my mind and loving what I’m seeing” eyes, I mean shit I even felt it.” Mina shivered.

“I didn’t feel anything.” Celeste folded her arms across her chest.

“I mean now I know why Erica is stalking him.”

“What do you mean stalking him?”

Mina pulled out her phone and showed Celeste a picture of Ian in the cafeteria with a heart emoji’s around him and “Bae looking cute while eating.” Written underneath it

“Ugh we need to find her someone better to obsess over, Ivan is the prime example of guys she should avoid.” Celeste handed Mina back her phone and held the door open for her into the cafeteria.

“I thought his name was Ian.” Mina turned towards Celeste.

“It is but I call him Ivan because I read somewhere that men feel emasculated when their names are mispronounced.”

“Wow, that’s kind of genius and so simple.” Mina looped her arm with Celeste’s.

“Thank you.” Celeste smiled and walked with Mina over to their lunch table where Erica, Daisy and Nehemie were already waiting.

SweetDaisee99: When @LittleFoot693 came up with this idea. Me: “That’s corny, I love it! Let’s do it!”

MinaBoBINA97: I can’t believe it took us several tries to get this lol.

NehNeh392: I just loved when that guy walked past and was like “That doesn’t look like a heart.”

OhhhStar17: Jokes on him because I wanted my heart to look like a butt.

LittleFoot693: Aww this turned out cute!

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terramythos · 5 years

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My liveblog/commentary on October Daye #11 "The Brightest Fell" or "Friendship ended with Sylvester Torquill. Now SIMON Torquill is my best friend"

God if you told me that's a sentence I'd write when I read book 1 I'd call you fucking insane. We had this whole Cain and Abel thing going and Seanan McGuire had to go be a GOOD WRITER and make them COMPLEX CHARACTERS and shit.

Also featuring a "Resurrect Your Gays" novella at the end so.. that's nice

-Wow, this opens with a story so far section and everything 👀

-who would be like "gee the October daye series sounds interesting. Let's start with book 11"

-omfg The Luidaeg singing Poor Unfortunate Souls. Fucking hell yes.

*stares at my vampire crack theory* *stares at that line* *stares at the camera*

-(To be fair, it does parallel when Simon showed up in book 8, which is probably the actual intent, but uhhh)

-then AGAIN, half the foreshadowing lines in this series had double meanings in context

-Amandine calling Simon "your father" oh oof.

-oh my god Amandine is AWFUL. Jesus christ. Insults everyone in the room then kidnaps 2 people and just strolls out. This puts Tybalt, one of the more OP allies, out of commission for like the whole book lol

-Definitely Impossible Quest: find this character that disappeared over 100 years ago who Simon spent the last century committing misc atrocities to find

-This does lead me to wonder what motivated Amandine to show up suddenly and force October to find August. Is she just unstable/crazy as has been implied, or is it something more?

GOD shes awful!

-So oh boy we are actually waking up Simon! I'm glad we are getting more development for him cause holy crap he's an interesting gray morality character.

-Sylvester using the same binding spell Evening used on October in book 1, but this time to keep Simon from hurting October, sure draws some.. uh.. interesting parallels.

👀

-Amandine shows up again and is just fucking AWFUL. I'm trying to figure out if she has any real sympathetic traits. This is the first book she really shows up as a character out of flashbacks and the trippy shit in book 4.

- "Oh yeah Toby the reason I abused you and twisted your blood human as a kid was I wanted to mourn the daughter who disappeared and then let you die asap" like. Yikes

-Simon, established as an Arch Villain just being an awkward dad (at least toward October) is interesting. I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

-oh hey saving the pixies in book 5 actually set up a Thing in this one. Huh.

-Surprise that random pixie you saved in book 5 is relevant and a full fledged character now.

-The Luidaeg is a sympathetic character and a consistent ally in the series but BOY does she have her moments. Egads. (Quentin, who adores her, was NOT amused. We'll see how that shakes out...)

The Luidaeg just.. resurrecting an extinct race here. No big deal. I'm sure this has zero future implications.

-oh fuck the Babylon Road is back. Oh shit book 3 vibes. Oh shit

-lmao they literally end up in Blind Michael's lands. Just fuck me up

-ok theres a line that basically implies Blind Michael wasn't even that bad of a guy at one point, that he did The Ride with the best of intentions and for the life of me I am trying to figure out what they mean by that

-also intentional parallel between Blind Michael and Simon with the whole "best of intentions" thing.. Simon started as like, the arch villain. And now look where we are. So what is that implying about Blind Michael? 🤔

-I mean Blind Michael is the closest this series has come to a Dark Lord character. He was fucking awful. I'm interested to see if we are going to explore from a different angle?

-Goddamn world tour here showing up in Annwn.

-Oh duchess Riordan.. she's so pleasant. I'm glad we get to see what the fuck she's been up to since being trapped there

-Oh fuck they found Officer Thornton. He is not Well. I remember speculating what we were going to do with that plot thread lol

Are you FUCKING kidding me

-That was book SEVEN. I fucking REMEMBER that part. August was a fucking throwaway background character??? Chekhov's missing sibling?

-And it was intentional because of the door thing! She was described in a weird amount of detail for a background character! What the fuck!

-AAAND we found August. And the first thing she did was attack and basically turn October almost human. Whoops.

-And she doesn't recognize Simon. Her father. Because the Luidaeg's price was her way "home". Which includes Simon. Yikes

-omg Simon's magic finally smells like it does in flashbacks before he got corrupted. Smoke and mulled cider. Maybe I'm kinda sappy but I like that that paralleled the whole redemption arc thing

;____; FUCK dude

-October accidentally makes herself almost entirely human to save Simon. Whoopsie daisy!

FUCK DUDE ;______; full redemption arc shit there I'm gonna cry

-OK so I'm inserting this after finishing the book. And I realize this sounds like a MAJOR "not as much of an asshole as you could have been" award. But Simon had NO reason to treat Toby well. And he certainly did not in the brief glance of him in the book 1 prologue. That's changed by his second appearance (book 8). She's a changeling (always seen as inferior in Fae society) and she's the bastard child of his wife. He has every reason to treat her like shit. Yet he doesn't. He seems to want to be a father figure for her, even though she isn't really his blood related daughter, and this book reinforces that attitude. He even gives up things he wants--on multiple occasions--in order to save October, simply because he wants to. Compare him to his wife, October's actual biological mother, someone who literally created her as an expendable coping mechanism and resents the fact she's still alive? Despite everything he is WAY more of a parent to her. Found family sure is a thing in this series, huh.

-i like how instead of going all emo that she turned basically human October's just like "oh yeah I was raised in a street gang" and beats the absolute SHIT out of August

-Simon: uh excuse me did you just hit my daughter in the back of the head with a CLUB

October: she'll be fine

Well SHIT. The other shoe dropped, but not how I expected it.

-Like Simon genuinely redeemed himself, saving both August AND October despite everything. And he just sacrificed all of it. That was the final price of redemption for him. Yikes. YIKES. Like I knew it wouldn't be that easy, but this SUCKS.

-And this basically states that he wont be back to normal until fucking Oberon returns. I know the series has been leading up to that but... when the fuck. That seems like it would be the endgame.

-this is somehow worse than killing him off. How the fuck.

-August might have some redeeming traits. Shes an asshole but she is genuinely distressed when she realizes what Amandine did to October. Amandine? I'm pretty sure theres nothing to redeem her at this point. Shes fucking terrible.

-Jazz and Tybalt come back.. completely traumatized. Yeah. Ok. This entire last third is just complete despair I guess.

And award for "bleakest ending in the series" goes to...

-i think "The Brightest Fell" is the most fitting title in the series. It works on so many levels and for multiple characters. Especially in the context of the Shakespeare quote.

-i have.. thoughts. I think I'm going to do a compilation of said thoughts when I finish the next book and am officially caught up.

For now, there is also a novella @ the end so I will read that!

-"Of Things Unknown" (the novella) can basically be summarized by:

It's cool to get April's perspective! And some good old fashioned "resurrect your gays" on top of it.

-The Luidaeg: hey toby you know how you brought me back to life? You probably should not have been able to do that. You probably should not make a habit of raising the dead.

Toby: *resurrects like 5 characters who got killed off in book 2*

The Luidaeg: *breaking down the door* What the FUCK did I just say

-I am sure that January (a fucking month name) being resurrected has absolutely no future implications whatsoever :')

-Oh god theres one book left then I'm caught up. At least the novella softened the gut punch that was this book a little bit.

#well THAT was traumatizing #ONE BOOK LEFT BAYBEY #then i'm.. caught up.. cause there's another one coming out this year

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phar-me-a-mercy · 7 years

Text

Infinite Garbage

Fareeha idly sifted through the mail, carefully avoiding a particular pile she had set aside on the counter.

Let’s see… bill, bill, ooh coupon, bill, and some mail for the neighbor. All in all, it’s a good haul for the day.

She collected the bills and placed them on a tray to the side. The coupon, she stuck in her back pocket. It was for ice-cream and she had plans for it.

“Angela! I’m about to look at the postcards from Greggg.”

Angela quickly barreled down the stairs and pulled up a chair next to her wife. “Is this from Greg with three g’s or four?”

“Four,” Fareeha said as she pulled up their garbage can and propped the lid open. Inside was a void too dark to see anything. It smelled of clean linen and stardust.

“Well, that’s no fun. Their postcards don’t last long.”

“Yeah, but they’re always entertaining.”

Fareeha picked up the first postcard and read it aloud. “Greetings from an alternate reality! Did you know Fareeha ended up becoming ruler of the Milky Way Galaxy? She married the leader of the Andromeda Galaxy, Angela!” A picture of the wedding was on the opposite side. Alternate Angela and Fareeha looked to be wonderfully in love. They were smartly dressed in ceremonial clothes that were literally indescribable.

“Oh, wow. That’s neat,” Angela said. “What are alternate us wearing though? I’ve never seen clothes like that.”

“Hmm, it would have been nice of Greggg to mention that. Guess they’re just an asshole.” Fareeha promptly threw away the postcard into the infinite garbage. A few seconds into its fall into nothingness, a large explosion was heard.

“Okay, next one.” Fareeha picked up a postcard with a white daisy decorating one side. “Greetings from your particular version of Earth! I paid a visit to the planet and this white daisy was the prettiest thing I could find!”

Angela took the postcard from Fareeha and ripped it in half before she threw it into the trash herself. An even bigger explosion was heard. “That was the worst postcard they’ve ever sent.” She picked up the next one. “Greetings from a parallel universe! I took a picture of this exploding star the other day. Neat, huh? It reminds me of your relationship.” The opposite side revealed an absolutely stunning photo of a supernova. Some of the colors didn’t even exist in this universe.

Fareeha and Angela were both fuming. “What the fuck is wrong with Greggg? They normally send nicer postcards. Not this passive-aggressive shit.” Fareeha said as she picked up the last postcard. There was nothing on it, just a void too dark to comprehend. “I’ve turned over a new leaf. I’ve traveled far too much in too short of a time. It’s changed me. This postcard represents how I feel about the fragility of life. It’s also another representation of your relationship LOL.”

That postcard found its way into the trash quicker than the rest. It had the largest explosion. The couple sat quietly at the counter for a few moments, ruminating on just how big of an asshole Greggg had become. Angela suddenly grew alarmed. “Fareeha! Did I throw out the postcard with the supernova on it?”

Angela and Fareeha quickly searched the counter for the rogue postcard. The fate of the world depended on them finding it.

“Fuck! It’s not here. This isn’t good. Where did it…” Fareeha trailed off when she spotted the postcard sticking out from under the garbage can on the floor. She picked it up and dunked it hard into the endless void. Unfortunately, it exploded far sooner than the rest of them, singing off Fareeha’s eyebrows.

“I saved the world, but at what cost?”

Angela giggled at her wife’s plight. “You know, I’ve always found that an eyebrowless woman really gets my loins burning.”

“You’re lying.”

Angela gave Fareeha a smug look. “Only a little.”

“So, does that mean we can have gay-lesbian sex right now?”

“Absolutely.”

#pharmercy #pharah #mercy #please don't take this seriously #it's for the laughs #mod shrimp

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jonsa-creatives · 7 years

Text

Fruitful

Jonsa Summer Challenge: Day 1 - Food and Drink or Travel Submitted by: @lathwell55

(FYI - you prob already know this but just in case - a Stag is the same as a Bachelor Party and in Britain we call Jello Jelly)

Ros: My chaperone bailed.

Jon: Chaperone? lol have we been catapulted back to the Victorian era?

Ros: No SMART ASS - if my girl doesn’t have a chaperone, I might need to cancel your booking for tonight.

Jon: What? Don’t do this to me Ros! It’s Pyp’s stag night!

Ros: I know! I know! But my girls have to have someone there in case you lot get too ‘handsy’. I’m not putting any girls on my books in danger just so you and your mates get to see some tits. It’s our policy for private bookings Jon, I’m sorry.

Jon: They’re good guys - she won’t be in any danger - God Ros! What kind of animals do you take us for?

Ros: All men are animals. Especially when fuelled with drink and with a naked girl in front of them. I’m not comfortable sending her to you on her own Jon - she needs a guy there to make sure she’s safe.

Jon: Ok, ok point taken. I’m pretty certain I could keep them in check. Can I be that guy? I’ll keep any of them from getting handsy. They’ll listen to me.

Ros: I’ll ask my girl if she’s happy with that and let you know.

Jon: Ok, thanks Ros.

Ros: If this ends badly I’ll be wearing your balls as ugly earrings.

Jon sniggered at her last text message and hoped that Ros would come through for him. Trying to organise this stag party had been one pitfall after another what with their preferred bar being shut down and the paint-balling company claiming no evidence of his booking.

“Everything alright?” Grenn asked with a mouthful of curry. They’d decided on a local Indian restaurant for their pre-drinks meal.

“Yeah…yeah….it’s just-”

“Lemme try a bit of yours” Grenn interrupts with a mumble as he’s trying to dip his naan bread into Jon’s lamb bhuna. Jon grunts disapprovingly and practically forms a shield with his arm to protect his plate.

“You know my policy - I don’t share my food.”

Grenn shrugs and rolls his eyes “Your friend better come up trumps with the stripper mate, Pyp deserves a good eyeful” he grins around his mouthful. Jon nods with a forced smile before nervously raking a hand through his hair.

Jon had met Ros at an evening Business and Accounting course that he’d taken a few years ago to help with his web developement venture with Sam. He hadn’t known at the time that Ros was there to brush up on her accountancy skills in order to keep a firm hold on her escort and exotic dancer agency’s finances.

So, when Pyp had asked him to be best man at his wedding (and knowing that the lads would expect a stripper) he’d turned to her to help him out with the stag night. He was only just now beginning to regret that decision as his leg bounced up and down nervously awaiting a text from Ros. The day had been disappointing so far and he was already mentally trying to recall where the nearest strip club was as his back-up plan when his phone buzzed.

Ros: Alright - I found a girl on my books who is willing to do the job with you as her chaperone. I’m warning you Snow, if she comes back to me unhappy, it won’t be good for my business - OR FOR YOU!

Jon: Thank you Ros!! I’ll take care of her - I promise!

Ros: Damn straight you will. You’ll have to help her set up too. She’ll be in the function room at the Red Keep Hotel at 10pm.

Jon smiled as he pocketed his phone and took another swig of his beer before feeling the vibrations in his pocket and hearing the little ‘ding’ noise go off.

Ros: You better be sober.

With a groan, Jon hands over his bottle to a confused looking Pyp and orders a coke.

“Is there a ‘Mr Snow’ here?” the hotel reception clerk asked whilst reading his name from a notepad and looking up at the group of men all in high spirits for Pyp’s night.

“That’s me.”

“The young lady is already in function room B Mr Snow, she asked me to send you along once you got here. Your friends can wait in the bar whilst you set up.”

Jon thanked the man behind the desk, shrugging off the drunken whooping, hollering and lewd remarks from the lads before wandering towards the function rooms, wondering exactly how much ‘set up’ is involved for a stripper.

Perhaps she has portable pole?

Figuring that she would probably like to meet her ‘chaperone’ before the rest of the party pile in for their fun, he knocked on the door that had a little brass plaque saying ‘Room B’.

“Come on in” he heard her call.

“Hey I’m -” Jon froze as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Red - red was all he saw. A copper fall of tousled tresses decorating the back of the woman inside the room. Ygritte, he thought, as a flame of panic licked up and down his body from beneath his skin at memories of his ex. Memories of shouting matches and frustrating arguments stung his mind.

“Hi, I’m -” the woman said, turning around with a bright smile that faltered once she locked eyes with him..

Not Ygritte. Definitely not Ygritte. Worse…..or better, I can’t decide.

“Jon?….Oh my Gods! Jon Snow?” the girl exclaimed, an amused look crossing her face. Jon felt rooted to the spot as she started walking towards him, he’s pretty sure he’s gaping too. “It’s me, Sansa Stark…we went to school together, do you remember?”

Oh you mean the girl I had a crush on in only the way a lovesick teenager can? The girl that used to star in my adolescent wet dreams? The girl who was out of my league, but yet I somehow still count as ‘the one that got away’ because I never had the balls to just suck it up and ask you out to see if you might perhaps, possibly, maybe give me the time of day?……… Oh yeah - I remember you. Fuck.

“Um…yeah…I think so.”

She was gorgeous - she always had been - with her opalescent skin, summer sky eyes and cherry blossom lips. Jon remembers how, back in school, she used to be terribly self-conscious of her braces - nearly always trying to hide her smile - Jon had only thought that this made her even more endearing. It was one of his favourite things about her.

But gone were the braces and the adolescent uncertainty, in its place was a woman. A woman who was walking towards him like she’d just stepped out from one of his teenage fantasies, wearing nothing but a smile and a black silky robe that came to just above her knees.

“I remember you” she says, somehow making Jon gulp. This close up, he can see she has a slight sweeping of golden eyeshadow and a barely-there pink sheen to her lips.

This isn’t happening. THIS. ISN’T. FUCKING. HAPPENING.

“Um…Do you?”

“Mmm-hm” she nods, catching her bottom lip between her teeth as she’s swaying her hips slightly and loosely wrapping her arms about herself. Jon is suddenly taken by the fact that she has pink sparkly toenails and a silver ankle bracelet that looks like a daisy-chain. he tries to distract himself with the ugly swirly patterned carpet of the function room.

“Yeah - you helped me with my technology project that time when I nearly started crying in the library. I had had such a bad day and was so frustrated - do you remember that?”

You mean the one and only time I actually spoke to you?….And it was about circuit boards.

“Yeah…I…I remember that” Jon mumbles, looking at the floor and nervously scratching at his shoulder through the neck of his shirt.

“I managed to scrape a B for that project because of you - you were my hero!” she beams, making Jon feel a little light-headed. The large function room suddenly seems too small, like the air had been sucked right out of it. There’s an unmanned bar in the corner of the room and Jon would very much like to stick his head under the optics and douse himself in gin right now.

“So” she says brightly and abruptly, breaking the pause that had settled between them “you’re gonna be my chaperone tonight?” Jon nods as a suspiciously squeaky noise escapes his throat. “Great!” Sansa exclaims before pausing in thought “‘us knowing each other’ isn’t going to be a problem, is it?” She asks as she plays with her necklace, bringing the little daisy pendant up to her lips as she awaits his answer. Jon shakes his head before forcing a gulp past the bob of his Adam’s apple.

“No…err…” he knits his brow at nothing in particular “no, that’s not a problem.”

“Great!” Sansa repeats with a nod and turns to go back to the table she had been standing by. Jon tries and fails not to stare at her ass as the silky robe shifts over her curves with her movement.

Be a fucking gentleman Jon. You’re meant to be her chaperone.

“Ros told me you’d be good at keeping your friends in check” she calls over her shoulder.

Them? Yeah….Me?….Not so sure.

“Uh…yeah…they’re good guys - you won’t get any trouble, I promise.”

“Good to know” Sansa says as she hauls a backpack onto the trestle table “but I feel better knowing you’re here just in case.” Jon tries not to think too much on that and wanders over curiously as she starts pulling out various sized pieces of Tupperware. “Are you alright to help me set up?”

“Sure, yeah…What do you need me to do?” Jon asks, absentmindedly picking up one of her tubs and peering through the clear plastic at it’s contents.

Strawberries?

“I need you to help arrange the fruit and vodka jelly” she says in a matter-of-fact manner as she pushes another large trestle table forward and wastes no time in whipping off her robe.

Fucking hell. Those are-….Wow…

As Jon stands there, frozen still, pulse thumping in his ears and blood rushing to other places, Sansa daintily hops onto the table wearing nothing but the teeniest, tiniest nude coloured thong and her daisy themed jewellery glinting under the room’s low lights. She artfully arranges her hair in a fan around her head as she lays down. Jon gulps at the amount of creamy skin on display and half entertains the idea of running out of the room but finds that he couldn’t even if he tried, as he seems to be rooted to the spot.

“Jon?” Sansa asks. “Jon? Can you arrange the fruit on me?” she nudges him out of his stupor after getting no response.

“On you?” he croaks.

Sansa leans up on an elbow to look at him. “Well, yeah - that is the point of a human platter?”

“A human platter?”

“For your friend’s stag?….Jon?…Are you alright?”

Oh yeah…I’m just in a room….with a practically NAKED SANSA STARK….and she wants me to put fruit and jelly on her tits - I’m fine…THIS IS FINE!

Jon’s widened eyes flit from Sansa’s breasts back to the Tupperwear in his hand and back again. He licks his lips and clears his throat. “I…I thought you were a strip-…a dancer?”

“Well yes, but Ros said it was a platter booking?” She asked, looking concerned now as she sat up and stared at her backpack “I didn’t bring my music….will your friends be disappointed with this option?”

“No!…No, no, no” he says in quick succession, shaking his head, wondering how anyone could possibly be disappointed with any form of Sansa Stark… let alone one in a state of undress.

“So that’s a ‘no’ then?” she says with a smirk and a hint of sarcasm as she lays back down. Jon finds himself doing little else but staring for a while (and perhaps wondering if he could manage to re-arrange himself discreetly) until the silence is broken by Sansa pointedly clearing her throat.

“Oh!…err…sorry!” he scrambles, walking forward, like he’s moving towards something to be feared - and if he was being truthful, he is shitting himself a bit.

Standing close to the table with so much Sansa Stark laid out before him was almost suffocating. Jon felt the colour rise in his cheeks as he’s rendered to feeling like a nervous schoolboy again, rather than the 28 year old adult human man he actually is. He fumbles with the lid of the food container, a strong sweet scent mixed with the sharpness of alcohol hits him instantly.

“Those are infused with vodka” Sansa supplies with a grin “I’ve got pineapple, peaches, strawberries, cherries and some little cubes of vodka jelly too.”

Jon picks out a halved strawberry and feels like he wants to swallow his own tongue. “That’s a lot of vodka.”

“Well it’s not good to mix drinks is it?” she smiles like she’s not currently clothed in nothing but a minuscule scrap of fabric. Jon wets his lips as he contemplates the fruit he’s holding aloft in his fingers before scanning her body laid out and wondering where to begin, or how to begin. “Start with my legs and work your way up” Sansa offers, prompting Jon’s muscles to actually move.

He works in silence for a while, placing pieces of the alcohol soaked fruit onto her soft skin, his fingers slowly coming down from their tremble, even when they graze the flesh of her thigh. He wonders if she notices how he seems to hold his breath or how his whole body is frozen, focusing intently on this one task, this one pineapple chunk, this one cherry half, or this one slice of peach. He concentrates on the aesthetics of the fruit, making sure there’s not too much pineapple clustered together or that the peach is at an equal distance apart. The little green jelly cubes prove difficult to balance, especially when he reaches the expanses of her smooth stomach, rising and falling gently with her breathing.

“You’re going to have to cover my underwear too Jon.” Sansa says, breaking the deafening silence. Jon makes a strange noise of acknowledgement that lands somewhere between a grunt and a squeak, the gesture makes her chuckle. “So what do you do now?” Sansa asks, sensing Jon might need something to distract from the task at hand.

“Um…well, I started a web development company with a friend of mine….it’s, uh…it’s going well, actually” he said, fingers brushing the soft silky fabric as he places a piece of peach at he apex of her thighs.

“Always knew you were a clever cookie” Sansa says with fondness in her voice.

“How about you?..Erm…what have you done since leaving school?”

“Oh, well, I studied the terribly sensible subject of Business Management, managed to land a job as the PA of the CEO of a rather large Marketing Alalytics company - only to realise a few years later that, actually, I didn’t want any part of the corporate pie at all.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope” she shakes her head “so I quit and went back to Uni to study Textile Design. I’m in my second year now.”

Jon looks up to her face for what must be the first time in a little while “that’s very brave…to undertake a whole new and uncertain career path.”

“Yeah…or stupid and impulsive” Sansa snorts to herself.

“Sometimes stupid and impulsive is a good thing” Jon says after a moment of quiet thought and arranging pieces of fruit on her ribs.

“Would it be stupid and impulsive of me to admit that I harboured a little crush on you at school?” Sansa says, rendering Jon temporarily immobile before he croaked out his next words.

“D-did you?”

“Yeah - I think it was the glasses…. I have a thing for hot guys in glasses.”

All thoughts and ability to form cohesive audible words left Jon in that moment, so he bit his lip as Sansa watched him concentrating on arranging the fruit upon her skin, somehow not really realising that he had reached her breasts until a brush of his fingertip stroked her nipple causing Sansa to shiver.

“Ihadacrushonyoutoo” he blurted all too quickly, making Sansa giggle and smile up at him thoughtfully.

“If only we had known” she sighs wistfully.

“….Yeah” Jon agrees as his eyes get caught on a small dribble of crimson cherry juice slowly rolling down the outside curve of her breast. Without thinking, he swipes the sweet sticky liquid and sucks it from the pad of his finger. His eyes flew to Sansa’s face when he heard her breath catch in her throat.

“Taste good?” she whispered.

“…Um..yeah.”

Sansa stares at his lips and the air between them seems charged with something unknown but no less delicious than the sweetness upon her skin. “Why don’t you try one of the peaches?”

Jon moves without hesitation, lowering his head to her chest and covering a piece of fruit with his mouth. The slip-slide of the sticky juice makes the lick of his tongue against her skin even more pleasurable and Jon hopes his groan can be attributed to his approval of the taste of the fruit itself.

As he rises, he notes how her pupils have dilated and her legs squirm a fraction, managing to dislodge some fruit and jelly, the food tumbling to the table and floor.

“Clients normally pick up the fruit with their hands”

Shit.

Jon tries to chew rapidly so that he can swallow the obstacle in his mouth that’s preventing his profuse and no doubt rushed and embarrassed apology.

“Try a cherry” Sansa interrupts his panic. Jon swallows the lump of peach and it’s almost painful. He reaches for a cherry half by her navel before she catches his wrist in her hand. “With your mouth again.”

15 minutes later…

“Come on mate!” Pyp shouts as he and his other stag party members thump on the locked door.

“We’ve been in that bar for ages, she’s gotta be ready by now” Grenn adds before turning to ask the group “it was room B, yeah?”

One of the double doors suddenly cracks open with a squeak and a shirtless Jon Snow peeks out from behind it. Pyp’s brows rise high upon his head as he takes in the state of his best man. His beard looks suspiciously sticky and there’s a pinkish dribble stain down his chin and chest. A piece of strawberry is caught in his messy hair and what looks like lime green jelly is smashed against his lower stomach.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing” Jon smiles slyly.

“Riiiight…come on lads” Grenn chuckles before eagerly urging the party forward into the room. Jon places a sticky hand on his friend’s chest, halting him and the others.

“Sorry guys, no show tonight.”

“Whaddamean?” one of the drunken men slurs from behind Pyp.

“You know my policy” Jon shrugs with a shit-eating grin “I don’t share my food.”

The door slams shut on the faces of the stag party as they glance at each other in confusion and listen to the lock slide into place.

#JonsaS7Summer #Jonsa #jon x sansa #Day 1: Food & Drink #yes i had ideas for both prompts today :-)

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youremyonlyhope · 4 years

Text

The Force Awakens

Almost 4 years ago, I started my Star Wars rewatch by watching the original series in preparation to watch the Force Awakens. Then I rewatched the prequels before The Last Jedi. And now I’m seeing Rise of Skywalker on Sunday, so it’s time to rewatch the 2 other sequels.

I’ve rewatched the Force Awakens a couple of times since I first saw it, so it should still be fresh in my mind. As for the Last Jedi, I have not been able to bring myself to watch that one because of the ending. Not because I hated it, I loved it, but because it hurts.

Also, this gives me a distraction so I don’t get spoiled for Rise of Skywalker. Again. Can’t believe I’ve been spoiled twice already in just 2 days... luckily it was the same spoiler twice. One that was vague and I hoped it wasn’t right, but then the other one was a gif of the scene so now I know it’s true. Ugh...

This is super long and I apologize in advance.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” I didn’t see the Force Awakens in theaters. I saw it at home nearly a year later (after getting spoiled for all major plot points during that year). So I can’t IMAGINE the pure joy that people felt when they got to see the opening title crawl for the first time in 10 years. I wish I had seen it in theaters. Ok. I don’t like that I can’t pause Disney+ with the spacebar like other streaming sites let me... or maybe it’s just my computer. ANYWAY. I forgot that the opening crawl literally says “Skywalker, the last Jedi” in it, accidentally telling us the title of the next movie. Yeah so I can already tell I’ll be pausing every like 2 seconds. But I love this opening shot of a ship blocking out a MOON. Oh and NOW the spacebar works to pause. One of those stormtroopers is Finn. Awww. BB8! I didn’t realize he’s (they’re?) the first character we see (that we know is an important character since at this point we don’t really know which stormtrooper is Finn). Poe! Giving a message to a droid... so I know we like to think of Poe as the Han of the sequel trio... but honestly he’s the Leia. Yeah I mean... a friend (or at least co-worker) smearing their blood on your face with their hand as they die is definitely traumatizing enough to make you rethink your life. Finn, I don’t blame you. I started this scene like “Oh we’re gonna get the Knights of Ren and Kylo freezing the blaster ray using the Force” then I got so into the scene that I forgot Kylo was going to show up at all.

It’s not a Star Wars rewatch if my grandma doesn’t call and interrupt at least once. This time it was right as Kylo came out of the ship.

Kylo’s powerful. I’ll give him that. Holding that blaster ray for as long as he's about to. I love Poe looking back at it. Poe’s first lines to Kylo are joking about who gets to talk first, when Kylo’s literally still holding a blaster ray in midair and knows Poe has the map he wants. And people say “General Hugs” during a battle was out of character. GENERAL PHASMA! GWENDOLINE MY QUEEN! Poor baby Finn. [BB8 moans softly] BB8 NO DON’T CRY. Oh poor Finn. But yay first time we see his face! It just hit me that now I’m the same age/older than John and Daisy when they filmed this... great.... AND REY! I remember when we first saw footage of her climbing around, I said to my dad “I think that’s supposed to be Han and Leia’s daughter.” So far I’m wrong. I’ve been holding out hope for years that maybe just maybe there will be a twist and I’m right. I’m fine with her parents being nobodies, but I kind of want to be right. I’m probably not. The scale of that ship behind her... The shot of her speeding across the desert has such... original trilogy vibes. It never registered to me that Rey has some wilting flowers. That brings new meaning to the “so much green” scene later... Awwww the practical effect bread... Ok. I’m being nit picky, but they drained it just a split second too early. If it’d drained just a millisecond later, it would have been perfectly timed with the inflation of the bread. But that’s just me nitpicking for no reason. It’s an impressive effect. “Classified? Me too. Big secret.” LOL even at the time I knew the fandom was making a big fuss about that line for nothing. Too on the nose for it to truly be a big secret she’s keeping from the world. I figured she meant it was a big secret to her. Of course... then people got mad that they wasted their time analyzing that... it’s their own fault really. I forgot that they actually eventually get the location of the map out of Poe. Oh and hi General Hugs! “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.” Yep Poe is Leia. She was initially being rescued, but then ends up having to help rescue her rescuer(s) while they’re trying to rescue her. “Because it’s the right thing to do.” If Finn was raised as a stormtrooper, even just to work in sanitation, he wouldn’t necessarily have a moral compass since he wouldn’t know what’s right... at this point I think he just knows he doesn’t like killing... Like how Zuko didn’t realize he wasn’t good because he was taught something else was good. (YES. Finn is closer to Zuko) “You need a pilot” “I need a pilot” Ok see so it’s not necessarily what’s right, but he knows this is how he can get out. Sorta selfish, but not really. Oooooh yeah! It’s Thomas Brodie-Sangster! Forgot he was in this. Wilhelm Scream! Poe naming Finn. Aww. Ok see. How does Kylo know Finn’s identification? Did he ask Phasma “who was the one with the blood on his helmet?” right after they got back on the ship? Because otherwise, he’d have no way to tell them apart in that moment, I don’t think they have their names on their armor unless I never noticed, and even then Kylo would be too far away to read it. There’s a picture of little baby Finn... he was so young when the First Order took him (I assume they took him, I’d hate it if his parents sent him there) OH WOW. ANOTHER WOMAN! Oh and it’s whats-her-face, she was in Deathly Hallows Part 1. (IMDB says Kate Fleetwood) See, back in the day the Empire had no women in their ranks. This is the only thing the First Order is doing right, equal opportunity to be a space Nazi. I forgot that the wreckage gets sucked into the sand... that sucks. Here’s where Poe would have died if Oscar hadn’t been so charismatic. Also, do we ever find out how he survived this? I forgot about the explosion afterwards that just adds insult to injury. Was that necessary? Was that supposed to be funny? If it was, why are people criticizing the Last Jedi’s humor if this moment tries to make us laugh at a character dying... I hope that wasn’t meant to be funny... My poor baby... stranded on a strange desert planet... alone... with the First Order looking for him... I love this giant hippo thing. I want one.

Whiny fanboys: Rey’s a Mary Sue! She can’t know how to fight already! Rey: *Been fighting creeps at the market since she was born*

And I love how she caught Finn. Oh nooo BB8 no don’t cry! Finn, babe, why would you just tell Rey about the map!? Babe! I get that you want to seem reliable and credible, but baby! No! The way Rey was sort of horrified by Finn holding her hand... makes me really wonder what she’s been through. “Stop taking my hand!” Aww and how she offers her hand to him. “The garbage will do” Oh how I wish I hadn’t been spoiled that that was the Millennium Falcon reveal. But that line did create a meme so that’s fun. Wow the Millennium Falcon has been through a LOT. That dramatic zoom in as they fly into the ship (I’m sorry, I do not have ship names memorized) was very Torchwood. The sudden, almost shaky and unnecessary zoom. That upside down shot though. Amazing. And also terrifying. “You’re ok. He’s with the Resistance” *BB8 gives Finn a pointed look* I am DEAD. Oh and the Powerpoint style transitions between scenes. Very necessary. Vital to every Star Wars movie. Kylo. You’re like 30. You should not still have temper tantrums. Grow up. Awww BB8. The internal battle. Followed by the thumbs up. Adorable. Literally for a second I was like “How could the First Order override the controls of the Millennium - HAN!!!!” HAN AND CHEWIE!!!!! I will never forget watching the Force Awakens trailer for the first time with my dad, and nearly sobbing over “Chewie... we’re home.” Also what the hell, Chewie has been through SO MUCH and he’s STILL around! He was protecting Yoda in Revenge of the Sith! And then ends up enslaved and being fed people before Han meets him in Solo!?!?!? What?!?!?!? AND had a whole family before all of that!?!??!?!?!?

Also, watching Solo and realizing that Chewie’s been forced to eat people literally shattered my heart into a billion pieces. I wanted to cry seeing him covered in that mud and trying to kill Han.

Aww, Han and Chewie know the hiding places. I’m not even a third of the way through and I’ve written way too much.

Finn: Han Solo, the Rebellion general? Rey: No, the smuggler! Finn: Wasn’t he a war hero? Chewie: *Grunts and shrugs ‘I don’t know’*

That says so much about all of their characters. Oh god the 12 parsecs thing. I was legitimately MAD when I was watching Solo and realized that they had actually figured out a way to make the 12 parsecs thing make sense. That they actually solved and fixed George Lucas’ mistake, when he was literally just trying to find a cool word and didn’t care about the actual meaning. I am still so angry they managed to fix it in a way that made sense. I started raging once I realized that they were doing it. Awww Han in the cockpit. Ok Finn there you go again, telling everyone about the map to Luke. You’re lucky that Han’s one of the few people it’s good to tell. It could have gone so wrong with Rey. That subtle Binary Sunset piercing my heart. Hey it’s that kid from that Eaters of Light episode of Doctor Who. And when I watched that episode I was like hey it’s that kid from the Force Awakens. He looks familiar to me, but those are the only two things I’ve seen him in. “I got a bad feeling about this” He said the thing! Yeah the Rathtars are gross. Aww and he grabbed her hand again to run. I just noticed that they made the camera lens blurry on the edge, like some of the goo got on it. “That was lucky.” Rey’s so modest. I forgot that they hyperspeeded through the Rathtar... also did that happen in the original series too or am I just remembering it wrong? Anyway, Admiral Holdo did it best. 2nd mention of the last Jedi. Also, LOL remember when everyone was theorizing who Snoke was? My favorite theory was that he was Mace Windu. That was a WILD conspiracy theory. “In the hands of your father... Han Solo.” Oh the dramatic reveal. Awww BB8 running away from Chewie’s roar. Awwww the hologram game! And it’s still stop motion! “It’s true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it.” I forget what video I was watching, but they pointed out that this was Han’s arc. Learning to believe in the Force. I guess in that way, he has a satisfying ending. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy” I remember people saying that Han’s face is basically him thinking ‘...oh no... looks like I gotta adopt this kid.’

...It’s hitting me that we’re going to see Leia in this movie... and I’m gonna be emotional...

...AM I JUST NOW REALIZING THAT CHEWIE’S STRAP OVER HIS CHEST IS A STRAP TO A BAG? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST TO HOLD AMMO OR SOMETHING?!?!? I’ve been a Star Wars fan for HOW many years and I’m just noticing this?!!? Also, in an alternate universe, Han survives and Rey goes off with him and Chewie and they have smuggling adventures and everyone’s happy and alive. Catina music by Lin Manuel! Yay! WOLFMAN! THEY PUT THE WOLFMAN IN THIS! WOW. Look at them shading George Lucas’s rerelease edits. ...Ok so Maz is definitely Force sensitive if she knew Han was there right away, right? Also, Maz is an example of how before Rose Tico and whoever Naomi plays in RoS (I will not google her character name because I know I will get spoiled), we very rarely see AND hear women of color, we get just one or the other. They’re either in the background with no lines or playing a character that isn’t a human if they have lines. The only exception coming to mind is the Queen of Naboo who took over after Padme, Jamillia. Ok I forgot that the lady who rats them out to the First Order actually gets a line and isn’t painted green, so good for her! I love her costume too. Too bad she’s evil.

See. We hear the breathing of Vader, because Ani is so done with his idiot grandson worshipping him that he’s sighing in defeat in the afterlife. Ani needs to Force Ghost himself over to Kylo and be like “DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I THREW A SITH LORD DOWN A HOLE THAT IT MEANT I WAS TURNING AGAINST THE DARK SIDE? DID THAT GO OVER YOUR HEAD? DID MY ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC GO OVER YOUR HEAD??” Please, what I want most from the Rise of Skywalker (besides making sure Leia gets the proper send off she deserves) is Hayden coming back as a Force Ghost and knocking some sense into Kylo.

Oh Finn. The captions tell us who was talking during the vision... and there WAS a lot of Obi-Wan dialogue... Also poor Rey. She probably definitely remembers her parents, but just blocked it out. Now. If after the endless lines of soldiers, the podium with a giant red and black flag behind it, and the arms rising up still make the space Nazi thing go over your head... then we just can’t help you anymore. HEY! WAS THAT WHATSHERFACE?!? Ghost from Ant-Man and the Wasp? Was that her? Yes! IMDB says it was Hannah John-Kamen! Look at you girl! Too bad you’re evil too. Ok. I will admit that I blanked out for General Hugs’ speech because who wants to listen to a space Nazi. But, has the Star Destroyer been mentioned before this point in the movie? Because I literally can’t remember. If Hugs said it then I probably let my mind wander. Oh and I do appreciate these two dudes who were like “Yeah sure Finn, come with us, work for a bit, and we’ll help you get far away” and were going to let Finn come along with them. They seem nice. Also. Here’s the girl who’s not Freema Ageman. Not every black girl is Martha Jones. The entire internet was like “Martha was in Star Wars!” then I watched the movie and I was like “...that literally was not Freema what are you all on about?” IMDB says she’s Maisie Richardson-Sellers, she’s also in Legends of Tomorrow, which is something I do hope to watch one day. So good for her. The ion engines sounded like the TARDIS for a split second and I was VERY confused. “How did you get that?” “A good question for another time.” Ok JJ you gotta stop with all these unanswered questions that you pose. I get that that’s your thing. And that you have some term for it. But there’s too many now. This one better get answered in Rise of Skywalker. That behind the back shot though. I’m convinced Han’s Force sensitive too. Not even convinced, I think it’s canon. LOL remember when everyone named that stormtrooper who recognized Finn TR-8R.

Finn: *Manages to function using a lightsaber even though he’s only trained with blasters* Fanboys: *Silence* Rey: *Fights with a lightsaber well since she’s fought with sticks her whole life and it’s a similar concept* Fanboys: MARY SUE! SHE CAN’T BE THAT GOOD THAT FAST!

Oh my god it’s the Resistance FINALLY. POE!!!! Yes, I did just scream “Poe!!” out loud. Now, I’m not sure where these forest scenes were filmed, but if you told me the same forest where half of Merlin’s forest scenes were filmed then I would not be shocked. Merlin had some scenes in a similarly narrow trench/valley/pathway/thing. No but seriously, yes the plants look like they’re more tropical than whatever forest Merlin filmed in in the UK, but the trench looks so similar. Oh god the second we saw Leia I froze. And then Leia’s Theme played and I had a sad smile. And then C-3PO popped up and I laughed. Awwww. I love C-3PO so much. There’s so much that body language can convey. Oh no. While watching Finn and Poe reunite, I suddenly remembered that fanedit that put Helpless from Hamilton as the background of the scene. And i laughed. Oh 2015. When all we cared about was Star Wars and Hamilton. That lip bite. Oscar stop it. Billie Lourd! So I’ve realized over the years that R2D2 kind of sucks. Not that I don’t love him. But he spends the entire original trilogy lying by omission, when he could have just told them everything he knew from the prequels (since he WITNESSED everything and didn’t have his memory erased like 3PO did). And now, he just sits back while everyone scrambles to find Luke and does nothing, WHEN HE HAS THE ANSWER. Yes. I get that it’s deeper than that. But still. It’s funny to think that R2 just wants to sit back and watch the drama unfold while not telling anyone that Vader is Luke’s dad or that he has Luke’s map. (Unless I’m remembering it incorrectly and R2 doesn’t have it. If that’s the case R2 gets a pass this one time.) [It wasn’t the case, R2 doesn’t get a pass] “It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data.” C-3PO are you sure? Because I’m not. I think low-power mode means R2 wants to relax and watch the soap opera that is Star Wars unfold. “There’s still light in him, I know it.” For your sake Leia, I hope there is too. But Kylo is going to need a hell of a redemption arc in tRoS. See, and I can’t remember when I found this out, but the ashes that he puts his helmet in are the ashes of people he’s killed. Kylo Ren SAVES the ashes. He has a TUB of them in his office. What is WRONG with him!??! Yeah so him reading her mind about the ocean was just plain creepy. I just... don’t understand Reylo shippers. “You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” And he’s right to be afraid! Ani eventually had the strength to turn himself around! Kylo Ren could never! I won’t believe it till I see it! And even then I might not believe it! I think that people forget that Kylo’s supposed to be like 30 years old. I will say that Adam plays the role in this first movie like Kylo’s very young with a hint of a tiny possibility that he feels like he’s in over his head. Really he only plays it that way when the helmet’s off. So I get that he seems younger, but Adam was like 30 when he filmed this too. So why do so many fans coddle Kylo when he’s a grown man? A grown man who’s killing people. After a certain point, you can’t blame Luke or his parents or Snoke... if the guy is literally worshipping his grandfather and ignoring the fact that even Ani turned back to the light side... then the guy has issues. Rey failed twice before getting the Jedi mind trick right. Also, I love that Daisy’s face kind of sorta softened with less fear before she said the command and got it right. I’ve seen the scene of the stormtroopers literally going “Nope” and turning away from Kylo’s tantrum many times over the years, but I didn’t realize that Kylo screams “GUARDS” as he does it until I saw the caption just now. So not only are the stormtroopers like “I don’t want to get into that” they’re like “Let’s act like we didn’t hear him scream for us and let someone else get into that.” Which is even more hilarious. Ok it’s Starkiller not Star Destroyer. Whatever. I was close. But I knew that Luke’s last name was originally Starkiller, so I honestly should have guessed Starkiller in the first place. Whatever. Hey Admiral Akbar! The guy talking about the thermal oscillator looks familiar... was he in Night Shift... IMDB says he’s Ken Leung and yes he was in the Night Shift! Good for him! Awww that was the last time Han and Leia ever saw each other... “That’s not how the Force works.” The captions are telling me that the stormtroopers Rey is hiding from are just talking about how much their new weapons suck. That’s hilarious. “Is there a garbage shoot? Trash compactor?” Oh Han, I see what you did there. Wow, I didn’t notice that the walls of the base are rock, that it’s literally built INTO the planet. Awwwww Finn gave Rey his jacket! I was thinking she must be cold in just a t-shirt after living in a desert. Because I rewatched the last half of RotJ after Force Awakens, I was able to realize that this scene of Han and Chewie planting the bombs was a reference to RotJ, but only because of watching Force Awakens earlier that day. Really, I should have gotten the reference the other way around. “We’ll meet back here.” NOOOOO BUT YOU WON’T. THIS IS THE LAST TIME! Wait, did we not know his name was Ben before this? Was that the moment we all realized he was named after Obi-Wan? (Also, never really got that since Han and Leia knew Obi-Wan for only a couple of days at most... but whatever) Chewie keep going! Keep going and planting bombs while they’re distracted by Han! Come on! Ok I wanted to mention it earlier, but there was a lightbeam hitting Kylo when Snoke’s hologram disappeared, and that was after Snoke told him to be careful of going back to the light. Now as Han walks towards Kylo, there’s another lightbeam. It’s all very literal, but still. I like it. UH OH. I forgot about the light from the sun going away. Now Kylo’s literally in the darkness. We’re getting super literal now. (Also, I now realize that Poe’s line of “As long as we have the light we have a chance” was also a on-the-nose reference to light vs. dark and not just exposition about stopping the Starkiller, though it was also exposition.) I like to think that Han sorta knew that Kylo would kill him, and that he hoped it would eventually lead him to the light in some way and be worth it. But wow seeing Han fall hurts. OH AND LEIA. I FORGOT ABOUT LEIA KNOWING IMMEDIATELY AND JUST SINKING DOWN. OH I HURT. See. Finn’s literally just using a lightsaber like any other sword. Just hit your target with it. Because anyone can do that. Yes Rey! Summon that lightsaber! Earn that Binary Sunset! Trench run. Because Star Wars. Ok I gotta replay all of that because I was too busy getting lost in my mind about something and got distracted. Why is the Starkiller base falling apart? Ok got it, Poe hit a bunch of stuff that exploded. Cool.

Ok see. Some of the fans think fighting with a lightsaber is like a integral part of being one with the Force and being a Jedi. But literally, you just need to know is how to fight with a sword or a stick and you can fight with a lightsaber. The Force just means you’re better at predicting your opponent’s next moves, sensing the danger, knowing the best move to make, etc. That’s why Rey started winning against Kylo when he said “Join me and let me teach you the ways of the Force.” Before that, she’s just fighting like she would with her stick and all that’s doing is helping her survive and keep Kylo at bay, but she’s not winning. Being reminded that she’s Force sensitive let her tap into that and start incorporating that into the fight. Now she’s using the skills she already has, and using the Force to help her predict Kylo’s moves. She’s not magically good at using a lightsaber, she just already had skills that were easily transferable to a lightsaber and using the Force to enhance it.

I don’t think we’ve lost any arms yet in this movie, besides C-3PO off-screen.

OH. AND SNOKE SAYS KYLO NEEDS TO COMPLETE HIS TRAINING! He’s not even a full Sith Lord yet! He’s still being trained! So no, Rey did not just defeat a powerful Sith Lord, she defeated a Sith Lord in training. And she barely defeated him, he was already injured, she just fought hard enough to bring him to the ground. Then the ground literally separated them. Basically, I’m tired of people being mad that Rey has skills, she already had them. Plus, she’s not magically the most powerful Jedi ever like Ani was, she’s just strong. So go critique Ani for being literal space Jesus.

Oh Chewie. He’s alone saving Finn and Rey. My heart is breaking. All teams, Poe? You mean you and the other two who are left? Ok fine, there are a couple more X-Wings behind the Millennium Falcon. You and the other 6 who are left. Playing the Love Theme one last time. I am hurting. OH. NOW YOU WAKE UP, R2D2? NOW YOU WAKE UP? AFTER HAN DIES, YOU WAKE UP? Aww BB8′s like “Dad! Give me the map! I wanna put the puzzle together!” So I was right to be mad at R2D2. Literally sitting back, watching the drama, then at the end is like “Oh by the way, I have all the rest of the information you needed.” (Yes, I realize that I guess we’re supposed to infer that he spent all those years in low power mode trying to find the map, but whatever.) “May the Force be with you.” Oh Leia. Oh Carrie. Oh R2D2 NOW you’re excited. If you wanted to see Luke so bad, you should have found the map faster. You just know Luke knew they were coming, so he was like “Let me get my cloak out and stand on the highest point all mysteriously.” since he too lives for the drama (as we saw from all the flips in RotJ). Oh I love that ending so much. Some people think Last Jedi ruins the suspense of the ending. I love it. I love that Luke takes a minute to just stare at Rey and the lightsaber before deciding to chuck it over a cliff.

I’m watching the credits, and I noticed that Harrison gets first billing. I literally just said out loud “Why does Harri- ok no fine actually” since I realized this was his last Star Wars movie, so give him first billing. He deserves it.

So that’s the Force Awakens. Very enjoyable. I forget where I heard/read this, but the Force Awakens and Rogue One are like Star Wars comfort food. Super full of nostalgia.

And I do agree at least to an extent. Especially since the Force Awakens is like A New Hope all over again. A droid with a special message. Evil character with a spherical base that destroys planets. The evil Empire’s gone, but the evil First Order has taken over. And the Rebels are now the Resistance and are not that much better off than they were before.

But I LIVE for the nostalgia. Throughout the entirety of the prequels, I said that the best moments were the callbacks/references to the original series. The sequels do that better, so I really enjoy them.

Also I don’t actually hate R2D2. But the theory/idea that R2 is secretly a horrible person because of the fact he seems to know everything but never actually tell anyone what he knows is hilarious to me. And I never realized how well the Force Awakens fits into that theory. So it’s super funny to me.

Now hopefully, I can watch all of The Last Jedi tomorrow. I have a bit of a day... and this rewatch took like 4 hours since I literally paused every 2 seconds to write something. For the Last Jedi, I need to try to write less so I can pause less and finish the movie.

#hope rewatches star wars #ignore me if you want

0 notes

ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[MF] Sunday Scaries

The conversation formatting doesnt hold on reddit copy paste, so its much better read thru link

Linking at Top to not spoil the end - hope thats OK!

https://www.casualblasphemy.com/blog/sundayscaries

------------------------------------------

Jesus Christ and Other Swear words

Volume II: Anxiety Rainbow

A Slower Burn to Fiery Finish. About 10-15 minutes

Chapter 2, 3 or 7, not sure yet.

Chapter III: Sunday Night Scream Into the Void

I lie (awake) to myself

A feeling of impending doom. So many emails. Existential dread and the Sunday Scaries.

I cannot sleep, it is nearly midnight. I have so much to do this week.

I lie awake and try to think of all the embarrassing things other people have done.

I can't think of any, so I go back to remembering my own social failings.

The time I tripped in front of my Crush age 14. My disastrous bangs of just last year. The time I mispronounced Worcheschertshishire in front of my cute coworker. The 23 blocks I walked with toilet paper stuck to my foot and that afternoon tanning in the park with a tampon string dangling from my bikini bottoms. Everyone remembers. I am sure of it. I farted once on a conference call.

Monday is only a few hours away. So many emails and the dishes sit soaking for a third day. I shouldn't have slept in today. I have so much to do tomorrow. I think about every time i've fucked up in my past 30 years.

My anxiety builds and I try again to refocus my attention. I try to remember all the embarrassing things other people have done, but I literally cannot think of any. I sort of remember one of my friends shitting his pants. Was that the day I walked into the sliding glass door. Do you think he remembers? Oh god, was it me that poped my pants? Oh jeez, i said poped, not pooped. Im talking out loud to myself.

Thank god no one is here.

I feel lonely.

----

I eat a CBD chocolate and feel the anxiety of impending doom. So many emails.

I remember. I remember every embarrassing thing I have done in my entire life. I have so much to do this week. So many emails. I have a meeting tomorrow and I don't feel prepared. That time I was left hanging for a high five with my hand in the air. I looked like Hitler with no friends. It is Sunday and life is Scary. So much to do this week. Were they laughing at me? I feel lonely. No one talked to me today. I feel like the Pluto of my friend group.

I decide to crowdsource some self esteem and climb on Tinder.

Left

Right

Match!

Left

Oh damn this guy is hot.

Damn, 5’10

Left

Right

Match!

Left

Right

Match!

Right

Match!

Right

Match!

Every time I swipe right it's a Match. I feel attractive and desirable

Left

Double ew!

Left

Right

Nothing. What!?

I lower my standards

Right

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing

Sunday Feels Scary Again. I have so much to do tomorrow. I don't want to play the game anymore. I fear rejection from strangers. Kinda horny tho. I survey my matches and read messages:

“Hey”

“Wanna Fuck?”

“Nice weather Today”

“Show me your bobs?”

“Nice Feet”

A profile stands out

Blake

6”2’ “Ive never shoed a horse, but I told a Cow to go home once”

I don't really get it, but he's HOT. That fish he caught is HUGE! I climb out of my comfort zone and message first. I've never done this before

“Hey” she wrote with butterflies

….

…….

………..

18 minutes pass. Nothing.

I go back to swiping unenthusiastically

Right

Nothing.

I feel like a Moth in a world of Butterflies. Undesirable.

OH GOD. I research gravity blankets and take a xanax. I think of Cocoons.

I fall asleep lonely horny disappointed anxious and 8% numb. So many emails. Maybe I can do the dishes tomorrow after work, the gym, and picking up my prescriptions. I shouldn't have messaged him. I need groceries. That time I tripped on the bleachers and Becky laughed at me. I run through the grocery list in my head. Eggs, avocados, kombucha, spinach, Shame, paper towels, CBD chocolates. I feel weird.

------

I survive another week with espresso and antidepressants. It was hard. I am so tired. I am so tired all the time. Its sunday night and I feel The Doom coming again. I batten the hatches and prepare to wait out the emotional storm under the weight of my new Gravity Blanket. Its heavy and sweaty and I regret buying it. My anxiety rises to new highs and I feel like an idiot. Thank god no one is here. I feel lonely.

Ping!

Blake: :Me

“Hey ;) still up?”

I think about unmatching to teach him a lesson for not replying to me last week, but digital or not, I really need this distracting attention.

“Maybe ;) whatcha doing?”

Trying not to think about Monday LOL

LOLOL Same Same. Sunday Scaries :o

LOL I KNOW! Just gotta get through this week,

I am getting a puppy on Friday!

Puppy! What kind!?

A Frenchi :) her name is Luna

OMG NEED!

You have any pets?

Nooooo :(

You can come play with mine!

Cats or Dogs?

YES PLZ! I grew up with dogs :)

What was the name of your first pet?

Daisy :) she was so sweet

Awww, where did you grow up?

Seattle, just moved for a new job

It's hard being in a new city!

Well I can show you around!

What is your job?

Never been to Seattle, were you born there?

Born in Suburbia, lol

a little town nearby called Auburn

I work for a company that has meetings

I have a friend from Auburn!

LoL what do you meet about?

No way!

We meet about other meetings

Yea, did you got to Westside Elementary?

Eastside

Oh nice, her mom was a teacher there

Did you have Mrs. Ellison for 1st grade English?

I don't remember a Mrs. Ellison?

I had a Mr. Gardner

Oh lol. U like cars?

Sort of

I just got a new one :)

What was the make and model of your first car?

Wow! You are having quite the year!

Lol 1994 black honda civic. The dream

You sound like a Capricorn

Virgo!

Oh nice, when is your birthday?

August 24th, 1990

Just got a pic of my puppy, wanna see?

OMG YES

206-390-0345

I like Capricorns ;)

Oh god that sounded desperate

Texted you

Didn't get it!

Tried again

Nothing :(

Lol new phone too, I think its fucked tho

Whats your email, I wanna show you my bb pup!

Lol look at you Mr. New

[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

….

……

……..

Did you send it?

…..

Hello?

Fal Asleep? lol

Ping!

An email arrives to my racing heart. He's so inquisitive! New car and a puppy! I wonder what he does for a living? Such a Gentleman, that was a whole hour of texting and he didn't even ask for nudes. I click the notification but my email won't open.

Please login to continue. I type my password “Daisy123”

Incorrect password/email combination

Please try again

Oh, is it lowercase?

******3

Please Try Again

*****3

Please Try Again

******3

Please Try Again

Ugh im so tired, I can't even type right. I'll leave it for morning

--------

MondayVegan Jessica III sleeps well in dreams of Blake, Frenchi’s and Avocados under the weight of her anti-anxiety gravity blanket. She wakes with a smile and grabs her phone eagerly.

Please Try Again

Vegan Jessica III eats her last free-range Avocado on a piece of whole-wheat gluten-free non-cruelty noGMO carboloaf. Num!

Please Try Again

Fucking Annoying!

I switch over to my work email and begin responding to CC threads as I walk to the train. I meet with my team and we plan our next meeting. We have a great plan to plan.

I get home exhausted. I am so tired. We met for three hours and planned for three more days of planning meetings about meeting plans. I log in to tinder and check my messages. Nothing. I take a xanax and go to sleep. The dishes are molding and i'm out of avocados.

Tuesday

I wake stressed and skip breakfast. I head into work and drink espresso. We meet again to discuss our plan to plan. Everything goes as planned and we adjourn. I get out of work 15 minutes early and swing by CVS Pharmacy for LaCroix and drugs.

Some freak in a fedora oggles my breasts through my oversized sweater. What is he even looking at?

“Hi, yes, prescription pickup for Vegan Jessica III. It should have been called in Monday”

“Sure thing, insurance and ID please. Have a seat, it'll be about 15 minutes”

Pharmacists are just drug baristas, change my mind. I wait 45 minutes for the man in the never-dirtied lab coat to grab a prepackaged bottle of prozac from the wall. I hand him my credit card.

“Im sorry Ma’am, your card was declined, do you have another?”

The word ‘Ma’am’ turns three of my pubic hairs grey. It makes me kind of miss that creep in the fedora surveying my body.

Are you sure? Can you try again

Yes ma’am, the card is declined. Do you have another Ma’am?

Ma’am

Can you try calling them? I left my debit at home and don't have any cash.

I glance at my Fitbit. The time is 6:01pm

Its after 6pm Ma’am, you'll have to wait till tomorrow.

I leave the CVS and the pharmacists spends the next 30 minutes placing the bottle of pills back on the shelf.

----

I go home feeling frustrated. I skip the mailbox, dishes, dustbunnies and head straight for my bed. I pull the gravity blanket over my head like a ghost and feel a little better. I eat a half a pound of CBD chocolate and feel much better.

I log into Tinder. Fucking Blake ghosted. Unmatched. Under my blanket I get scared of ghosts and eat another ¼ pound of CBD chocolate.

Wednesday

I wake feeling like shit. I don't know why. I feel stressed. I call in sick to work and take a xanax and go back to bed. I awake to a phonecall from an unknown number. Fucking spamassrobocalls. I scream FUCK YOU to 1s and 0s. There's a panic rising in my throat.

I haven't checked my personal email in days now and try to log back in. I click password recovery and an email is sent to my old college email | [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Ugh I can't believe I used to eat honey and drink milk with my coffee; I feel ashamed of my former self. It feels like a Sunday, but it's only wednesday.

I try to login to my old college email to recover my password for my post-college email.

I try to remember my old password

Please Try again

I try all my old combinations

Please Try again

Lockout timer 29:59..

29:58….

29:57….

Ugh I hate this shit.

Trying to recover a password to recover a password. Did I type it wrong? Was it capitalized? Am I just not remembering it right? Was the ‘I’ a “!” ?? Was there 123 at the end, or maybe beginning?

I need to set my passwords to things I can never forget. Maybe take a lesson from Sunday. Shame and Trauma seem to make for fantastic passwords.

MyFatherAbandonedOurFamilyIn1997!

That's not something im likely to forget

I spend the next 29 minutes finally doing the dishes and feel a little better.

Please Try again

Lockout timer 59:59

FUCK

I hate this shit. I click the password recovery button on my college email and a third is sent to my very first email address. [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

I go to AOL.com and try to login

Please Try again

It feels like im opening those Russian Dolls. Every time I open one, another is there. The Russian Nesting Dolls of Digital Frustration. Please Try Again Later.

Recover the password

to recover the password

Please Try Again

I channel my frustration and hit the gym. Pilates class with Pontious. I stop on the way home and Scream into the Void. I feel a little better.

I check the mailbox before the stairs.

I turn the key and an avalanche spills out. Envelope after envelope, it seems unending. They just keep coming. The cascade flow dries to a dribble and I reach inside to scoop the rest of my mail out.

My arms are full of dead trees and I feel sad. Plus its like super heavy after an hour of cross planking. I ascend the stairs and unlock the door with my keys in my mouth. I push the door open with my forehead and dump the heavy mess of envelopes and magazines on the floor.

A Victoria Secret catalogue catches my eye. I make a mental note of my despise for their company message and start perusing the pages. What kind of image are they putting in the heads of young girls. False standards of beauty. Where are the real women! That bra is like super cute tho. I order three in different colors but my card is declined. The bras never come, its ok tho, they wouldn't have fit me anyway.

When my card is declined I think of Blake’s rejection again. Ghosted. What an asshole. Whatever he's probably just another pig who gets off to Victoria Secret models and supports an impossible standard of beauty. I am now convinced Victoria’s real Secret is mainstream distribution of introductory pornography to young boys in suburbia. That's a big mental leap to take from subquality prethought, but I think it's important to note where some of these idolized false standards of beauty start. They start with aging young Mother’s ordering VS products and catalogs to catch renewed interest from their lazily inattentive husbands and trickledown pornoEconomics recycles the catalogs to prepubescent boys. Hidden and stolen, they are a prime middle-school currency. The image of Desire becomes fixed in pubescent development and the path upscycles again.

I throw the catalog away disgusted and pick up my copy of the much more realistic Vogue. I eat more CBD chocolate and forget to call my credit card company. I fall asleep with fragrant advertisements and two miles of photoshop-smoothed Gigi Hadid legs on my face.

Friday

It's a beautiful morning and i'm feeling rested. I don't know what happened to Thursday. We have a brief meeting about next week's meeting and are dismissed early. Summer Fridays are the best! I meet up with my besties and we dress up to impossible standards of beauty.

Thin pink straps patterned with “VS VS VS” loop my shoulders out of my strapless black dress. Clash is in. I think it looks cute even tho the bra doesn't fit well. I lace up my gladiator platform cork wedges and we head out for a night of dancing.

I dance next to my ugliest friend and bask in double attention.

Buy you a Drink?

Wanna Dance?

Ever Ride a Motorcycle?

All eyes on me. I dance and twirl and snort the night away. This cocaine is fantastic. My credit card still doesn't work so I have boys buy me drinks. I black out a bit and wake up in my Uber home. Its light out and the birds won't shut up about the stupid sun. My heart is beating arhythmically and I feel weird. A feeling of impending doom is brewing and it makes me feel weirder - it's not even Sunday.

I sober up a bit, but can't sleep. I decide to finish the vial of cocaine I took from that boy and do some housekeeping.

I take the trash out and open my computer. I feel inspired to clean and conquer.

I will recover my password!

I see a button for ‘alternate recovery options’ on my ancient @aol email and click

A series of questions challenge my identity

“Date of Birth”

August 24th, 1990

“What was the name of your first Pet?”

Daisy

“What was the name of your 1st grade English Teacher?

Mr. Gardner

“What City Were you Born in?”

Auburn

“What was the Make and Model of your First Car?”

1994 Black Honda Civic

And just like that I'm in! I recover my password and recover my password and recover my password.

The russian dolls reassemble and my anxiety plummets

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Until I open Gmail to a Nightmare

The realization grips me. The Saturday Scaries are Real. I spring to the 4 foot foyer of my apartment where the non-fashion-catalog remainder of my mail avalanche sits piled like rubble.

I rifle through envelopes and cut my finger. It really stings. I suckle a droplet of blood and read the envelopes

Bills. Bills of all kinds. Bills of all shapes and sizes. Bills Not mine, but mine. An acre of rainforest in bills.

My iphone rings and my phone wont open. Panic Panic Panic. Saturday Scaries. I pull my bleeding finger from my mouth and the iphone recognizes my face. I answer the call

“Ma’am i'm calling from TransUnion Credit Reporting, we've seen some unusual activity on your report this week, can you confirm opening the following 227 Credit Cards on Sunday between the hours of 11pm and 4am Monday Morning?”

(This phone call 97% actually happened)

My vision spots and I hit the floor.

___

I awake Sunday. My head is throbbing and my finger hurts. I look at the papercut and it stares back with green eyes. It smells like Almond Butter, but the gross GMO kind. I put CBD oil on it and leave the house.

I head to the hospital, but my credit card is declined. My finger is green to the knuckle and it definitely feels like a Sunday.

I head home and curl up in my bed. With my green arm I pull the gravity blanket over my head and cry. I fall asleep feeling scared and not safe.

I wake to pain. The green has spread throughout my whole body. I feel weak. I need to go to work. So many emails.

I feel The DOOM

I try to lift the gravity blanket, but I am weak and it is too heavy.

The longer I stay, the weaker I become. Days pass and I miss meeting after meeting. I sweat profusely trapped inside a cocoon of anxiety. Unseen emails pile up and add to the weight. My phone is out of battery and I can't reach past the blanket for my charger. I need water. I really need water.

I feel The DOOM

I think of blood poisoning and my plummeting credit scoreThe Chrysalis hardens to reject the outside world

It becomes my Tomb. I feel safe here.

Immune to Anxiety

No emails, no meetings.

The DOOM fades to black and so do I.

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whydoyouthinkileft · 6 years

Text

aos spoilers

having my breakfast - at 12:30 and so excited about this ep because of reasons so let's go

-btw watching the previously I just remembered Kasius and the other alien lady having their talks (Because he wants to leave that planet) and trying to top each other while also trying to sound like they don't hate each other's guts? It was hilarious to me, it was like watching ANY conversation between people in my town ever (incidentally, my town if you live in it long enough does give you the feeling you are trapped underground waiting for giant roaches to suck the life out of you)

-oh hello lil cute boy -how old is he? is it me being weirdly old if I say that?

-oh even the white slave-owner guy has a soft spot for him?

-NO HE DROPPED THE FRUIT

-I feel like I'm too invested in him eating already

-senator Gaius whatever is also someone I could see living in my town

-thaaaaat's the scene from the promo. also can you imagine if ALL the people there are lying their asses off to look more evil?

-he looks soooo fantastic to me, I love cowboy in space clothes

-OOHHHHHHHH -the look on his face and lack of breath -I died fifty days over it -Kasius should have just been in something like Desperate Housewives -also I'm starting to find funny how he reads what Sinara says just from her expression and she never has to talk -Jemma looking at space and being deaf OH MY GOD FITZ. IS HE GONNA TALK. IS HE GONNA GO ALL I LOVE YOU I WANNA MARRY YOU HAVE MY BIOCHEMENGINEER BABIES and she's gonna walk away? -oh my god. He realized the universe can't stop them, they are stronger than curses. Now that she's deaf. He needs to repeat it. And then let her make fun of him for the curse thing for other 74 years -I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW HE'D PROPOSE -nooooooooooooo the deaf thing -'oh are they' Fitz would love to kill him, wouldn't he -OH MY GOD HE'S TOUCHING HER FACE IN FRONT OF FITZ -Of course Kasius would appreciate that sentiment from Fitz. If all he's going to use from the Doctor is talking about bullshit and pain like a villain would, give those speeches, while he doesn't believe in a word he says and the actual bad guy there is like 'uuhhh this is my new friend' I'm here for it. This is basically high school and becoming popular. -Also still here if Jemma wants to break a pitcher on Kasius's face though -I am worried though because Jemma wasn't 100% chill when she saw Fitz's face -oh my god the look on Fitz's face after Kasius walked away -Tess just quoted me with 'soft spot' for the kid. I'm Tess now. -Flint 'if I turn I won't have to beg around' yeah well he's NOT WRONG, mind you -is Jemma going to mother this one too and then Daisy will train him? -AAAHHHH FITZ AND JEMMA -the hatred on Kasius' face whenever he speaks to all people who are supposed to be on his same level or higher makes me laugh, I'm so sorry -they are just so... mundane about 'uhhh your daddy gave your big brother the big job and you are stuck in here lmao' -evil eyes of hatred- -I'm glad Daisy is befriending the mind-reader, he's adorable -also he didn't expect her to go all 'I'm sorry' and he's even more adorable -no seriously they seriously could be living in my town -Fitz. Fitz don't fuck this up, my boy. -the almost smile when he describes it tho, that kinda sells it as him being a bitch so... good -what is that snail thing, also I TOO FIND MOIST CREATURES (and stuff that changes from hard to soft depending on the bite, and really most meat) DISTASTEFUL BUT NOBODY LAUGHS WITH ME WHEN I SAY IT AND REFUSE TOT IT, THEY CALL ME SPOILED. ALSO I RAN OUT OF THE ROOM IF THERE ARE SNAILS BECAUSE NO. Next fucking time we have a dinner with other people I'm going to talk with that attitude and slam the food on the plate and wait for someone to laugh. I'll instruct my little brother to laugh and make other people feel like they have to laugh -sidenote: the jackass who brought it up attempting to laugh along not sure of what's happening is amazing. I don't know which one of those guys is really the loser in the real tvshow that is going on in there. Kasius, cast away and trying to climb up the ladder and become a Big Shot, the snails guy who is soooo loud and soooo friendly and everybody knows he's just desperate to keep being in the inner circle, or what -HAHAHA the Kree discussing why the kid disappeared like. Even before they looked around like 'did we crush the kid' 'how did he disappear, what did we do wrong? look under your shoes' and now 'maybe his power is to disappear' 'nah' I can see these Kree driving a car and talking why they stopped -lmao 'you mean this guy?' 'no he's just cool' -Mack looks proud of himself- you are cool, Mack. You are big enough you don't need superpowers -at this point Kasius and others are just courting Fitz -MAY, IT'S MAY. MAY WILL FIGHT HIM. GET THE HELL OUT. also he KNOWS Jemma and Daisy were laying and how the ell idd he find out her name is Melinda May -Melinda and Fitz looking at each other like that, oh my god. And she hasn't seen what happened of Jemma yet after she let her go -is... Fitz... bromancing Kasius to trick him? what is this episode?? this is also perfect because Fitz's superpower since s2 has been to befriend EVERY person he met and get a circle around him super fast, first Hunter and Mack and then Hunter and Coulson, then he grabbed Bobbi too, befriended Radcliffe super fast, like, of course he can use his 'father's memories (with Jemma watching like a hawk - with impared sight) to get to Kasius. Fitz in this episode is me in high school, I'm not even kidding anymore. You gotta fit in to survive, so fit in in a way that will make people fight to sit next to you without even lying -is telepath boy going to tell May how to behave because he SHOULD -lmao May hitting him without thinking and succeeeding, bet he didn't see that coming -if it wasn't for her leg he'd in a world of trouble -LMAO KASIUS' FACE when Fitz went 'this fight bores me' -he just insulted May's age and just... her face. -the horror at Flint not knowing what tacos are -we finally know Elena's terrigen story lol -oohhhh my god white guy needs to die -he's about to kill him because he lied, oh my god, OH MY GOD, BEN. NO. NOOOO. DON'T DO THIS. -FITZ, don't try to control Kasius too hard, he'll know -one more death in Daisy and Jemma's conscience oh my god are you kidding me poor sweet Ben -oh the white guy had a second when asking about the prophecy and he might buy it later -aw Jemma and Daisy, with Jemma being able to hear -'there was nothing you could do' 'I have to kill him' 'you'll have to get in line' just... Jemma, of all the people, always reassuring others that it's not their fault, but also REALLY, let Jemma kill at least one person who humiliated and hurt her instead of having her fail and get someone else to do it? -I KNEW IT. I KNEW JEMMA LIKED THE CARDIGANS, PREFERRED THEM. I'M THINKING OF S2. THEY WERE SO SOFT LOOKING -I love that their having girls talk in the middle of this too because oh god they are 29-30, and yes, they have been through hell, and in situations like this people don't necessarily act like super efficient zombies, they find humor, they find reasons to chat with friends, they still smile, and I always found unrealistic when in tvshows, including aos, they were only shown super serious ALL the time. -Daisy the shippers is back. Which I don't know why people don't like or find weird because honestly, I ship my friends with their loved ones when they are so in love -Jemma has a knife. Jemma KEEPS STEALING KNIVES AND WILL STAB PEOPLE, YES -Elena being tortured twice now -uh oh controlling rocks. BREAK HIS HEAD. CRACK HIS HEAD OPEN. YES FLINT -also the loooook between Jemma and Fitz was so lovely, they almost got to talk -Kasius is peacocking so much over his brother -oh they have a plan B, alright -oh wow Kasius' brother is such a sweetie, 'there is no honor to be found in this human cesspool'. that's kinda my attitude when they force me to go out for holidays. -oh yeah, Kasius 'pleeease Sinara fight for me' and then trying to talk her into not being mad at him lol. Also yes for Sinara dying. Fuck you. You kept killing people with your stupid-ass balls. Your turn now. -jesus for a second I thought they had hung Tess for her neck -IS SHE? DEAD?? NO??????!!! -Daisy's look is so cool tho -KILL SINARA. KILL HER, KILL -aw shit they have a barrier -break her neck, break HER NECK -NO KILL HER. KILL HER FOR REAL. -JEMMA FUCKING SLIT KASIUS' THROAT I'M SO ALIVE FOR THIS, ALSO FOR DAISY FLYING UP LIKE THAT OH MY GOD -OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK -THEY HAD A REUNION KISS FOR FUCKING ONCE -JEMMA PROPOSED TOO AND HE ZFHAADSKJHFKDF -THEN THEY PICKED UP DAISY I'M SO -AND FITZ TALKING ABOUT HOW HE PROPOSED EARLIER THO I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK -honestly I said that I didn't want them to propose and get married until they were a little healthier but that can be solved writing fanon, when it comes to canon, if... Fitz managed to somehow work through his doctor issues and just needed one last push from Hunter (maybe that's also what happened in those six months) and to not be holding back on his love for Jemma anymore because he's completely there and not worrying about the cosmo... then I guess it's fine? honestly, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing so I'll just accept it in the show and then write 59494864 things in which they process things slower after the proposal, they'd have been together anyway -I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY I'M JUST EXCITED -ENOCH LIES THE WAY JEMMA LIED IN S1 OKAY, I LOVE HIM 'hello friend' 'who are you' 'I am a Kree as I've always been, brother' -I love everything about them dividing tasks and Jemma finally getting revenge on Kasius and Fitz finishing Sinara after Daisy did her fighting and also Daisy is there to listen to the proposal, I'm laughing oh my god

#ele watches aos #aos spoilers

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