#wonder if that came across or im being delusional

[albino-whumpee]

never really getting past the fact I wrote Sarahi buying Albus to be creepy and crave proximity so badly but having the moral compass of a compass with a magnet taped to it, so while she vaguely understands what she is doing is wrong,  there´s stuff she does that is actually kind YET expects to be rewarded by that with an actual bond when all she does is control. Like

She really said “I want you to be part of my family”

and Albus, who was already saving enough money to buy his contract back while also paying for Sann´s:

#he knew she wouldn´t agree to actually free him #because from the beginning #she was putting down the hints that she wanted #him to be family #but wasn´t ready to put in the actual work to treat him as such #she referred to him as her posession more than twice #she allowed things #but was deeply vigilant of others #and while she was merciful #he always saw her as his owner #never like real family #when he realizes he´s playing a roel play game #he actually tosses that role aside #by asking sann to take off his collar #wonder if that came across or im being delusional #aklsdjf #sarahi #moya rambles #albus

[envy-of-the-apple]

Sweet Home

idk how the multiverse works so im just fucking up the worldbuilding but basically my hc is that whenever a dimension suffers trauma (too many ppl leaving dimensions, rift in time etcetc), it will create a shield around itself, preventing anyone from entering or leaving as it works to self-correct. 

(Yandere, dark, kidnapping, captive, delusional behavior, gn reader, implied deaths, talks of bombs)

Yandere!Miguel O'hara x reader

Honestly, you weren’t much of a threat. 

It was a rather misfortunate case of wrong place wrong time. One second, you were in your home, mulling about. The next, you were across dimensions. 

At least, that’s how it was explained to you. You had no idea there could be more than one spiderman, and now you were surrounding by millions. Maybe even billions. Here they all were. Heroes, all working together to save the multiverse, returning innocent people, like you, back to where they came from. 

But, according to Miguel, you were a special case. 

“It’s not too hot, this time?” He asks, his face in the same scowl as always. Before, you assumed he hated you. Now, you realize the man had a hard time showcasing emotion. 

It’s still there, though. You can see the concern in his eyes as they soften ever so slightly, as if he was remembering the scalding hot tea that burned your tongue. 

You tasted it, smiling at its perfection. When you mentioned you preferred something sweet, you had almost choked on the lump of sugar at the end of the cup Miguel prepared. After that, he was much more lenient with sugar. 

Ever since, you were put into his custody, he made it very clear your comfort would be his top priority. You never considered a superhero agency to be comforting, but the room he lent you was spacious and had a warm fluffy bed, food was always delicious, the guilt-filled gifts were always nice. It was clear the man spared no expense. 

“It’s perfect,” you say, “thank you.” 

He gives a smile. Though, it’s strained, like he’s not sure if he’s doing it correctly. He finally gives up, staring down at your techband. It wasn’t as sophisticated as his, you understood why you couldn’t have one, you were just grateful it stopped you from glitching. 

“So...is there anything new?” You ask, careful to broach the subject. 

You couldn’t go back home, not yet. It had taken a while for you to calm down when you were first brought here. You had been terrified, fearing for your life surrounded by these strangers who all strangely resembled spiderman. It was Miguel that had talked you down. He wasn’t patronizing, didn’t coddle you, but he wasn’t unkind. 

He explained things carefully. When you had been ripped from your dimension, something had gone wrong. The dimension had closed in, as if it were a living creature defending itself, an armadillo creating a thick shell. No one could go in or out. 

So, here you stayed at the spiderman’s headquarters, temporarily dimensionless. 

You peered into Miguel’s face. He was tired. He always looked tired. You wondered if he was getting enough sleep. Guiltily, you knew you were partially a reason for that. 

“Nothing.” He sighed. “We still can’t communicate to your spiderman, nor can we break into the gates. So far, no progress.” 

You had a feeling that’d be the case. You gave a strained smile, feeling more and more hopeless. 

“Hey.” His hand was warm on your shoulder. “I’ll find a way to get you back home, I promise. Don’t give up on me just yet.” 

He was close, leaning in just so your faces were inches apart. Miguel was just being kind, you knew that. But his height and stature had always intimidated you. A part of you was sure he knew that. It was why he would always hover over your, like it was some way to subconsciously keep you in check. 

It was an absurd thought. As always, you shook it off. 

“And besides, if we can’t, you’re always free to stay here.” He gave a lazy wave to the spacious room filled with gadgets you couldn’t even begin to describe. 

 It was a joke. You knew that. Miguel was adamant about ‘anomalies’ being returned to where they belonged. You were certain he would’ve thrown you back into your dimension if the situation were different. Yet, just the thought of staying here forever, never seeing your friends or family ever again tugged on your heart. 

You appreciated everything Miguel had done for you, he had gone above and beyond, but you were lonely. Due to protocol, only Miguel was able to see you. You understood it, but it didn’t mean you were not allowed to have human emotions. 

You longed for home. 

He must have seen it in your eyes because he pulled back some. The lines on his face hardened ever so slightly. He was angry. Not at you. Never at you. 

“You done with that?” He changed the subject, gesturing to your cup. 

Nodding, you return it to him gratefully. He stands up, grabbing the remnants of lunch and dirty dishes. 

“I’ll be back.” He tells you, and he’s assured you plenty of times that you weren’t, but it was hard not to feel like a prisoner as you watched him leave through a metal door. 

You waited for ten seconds, and then you rose from your own seat. 

There were only two rooms you had access to. Your own, and then Miguel’s office. 

Well, it wasn’t really an office. It was a large computer room, but Miguel always worked here, and you always kept him company, much preferring the companionship of at least one human rather than the solitude of your bedroom. 

Over time, he seemed to trust you a bit more. Or maybe he started underestimating you. Over time, he had accidentally given you most of the passwords to this place, not really paying attention as you not-so-secretly spied on his work.

You felt a little guilty for snooping, but a part of you was frustrated. You’d been stuck here for weeks, with no concrete answer. Miguel always seemed to evade your questions. You wanted an explanation. Assurance. 

Strangely enough, you felt a little old as you clumsily operated a machine that was decades into the future. It was a humbling experience. You typed in your dimension number, a sequence you knew by heart. 

Huh. 

You weren’t sure what a closed dimension looked like, but it certainly wouldn’t look like this. It looked fine. Despite your minimal experience with looking at dimension maps, you could tell the gates were opened. You could even see tiny dots flitting in and out. People.

Everything looked fine. 

Then...why did Miguel say you couldn’t go home? 

“What are you doing?” 

You hadn’t even noticed he’d come back. He had been so silent. Like a spider. 

You whirl around to face him. For the first time, you realize you’d never actually seen him without his signature blue and red costume. His face was stony. His demeanor had changed, as if earlier he was actively trying to pretend around you. Before, he used to slouch slightly, his hands would drape awkwardly at his sides. Now, his back was straight, arms ready. 

You’d never thought Miguel as threatening before.

Still, you try your best to loosen the sudden tension in the room. You give a sheepish smile, hoping it doesn’t wobble like your heartbeat. 

“I think my dimension just opened up,” You mutter, halfheartedly pointing to the screen, “Does this mean I can go back home?” 

He steps forward. You inch backward as he makes his way over to the computers. All the screens shut off. You can barely see him in the dim light. 

He works he jaw, like he wants to tell you something but can’t. 

Despite your heart going a mile a minute, you don’t want to be scared of Miguel. The only friend you had here. You bite your lip, gaining all the courage you could. 

“Did you lie to me?” It was a stupid question. Of course Miguel would say no. He wouldn’t do this to you. He couldn’t. 

His eyes slice into you. Crimson. 

“Yes,” he says simply, “I did.” 

You weren’t expecting that. You couldn’t have. Your mind was whirling, desperately trying to piece together an explanation. 

The tears burned in your eyes. You forced yourself to keep them at bay. 

“Why?” It was barely a whisper, you weren’t sure if he had heard you. 

He rakes his hand through his hair. It was something he did when he was stressed. You’d once jokingly told him that if he kept doing that he’d go bald. 

You had joked with this man. 

“I was going to put you back,” He said, almost like he was pleading to you. As if you were his judge, his executioner, and not his helpless prisoner. 

“That was the plan. I was going to put you back but...” He sucks in a breath. He gives a laugh with no real mirth. 

“But then I realized how much safer you’d be here.” 

You didn’t understand. You take another step back. He follows. 

“Your dimension opened back up two weeks ago.” You’d been stuck here for three. “Communication has resumed like normal. I lied about that.” 

It felt like a sick prank. Like he would suddenly start laughing, telling you how gullible you were. 

But it feels even worse when he doesn’t do that. He just stares, almost like he feels sorry for you. 

You don’t want his pity. 

“You haven’t met your dimension’s spiderman, have you?” He suddenly asks. “He’s a good kid. But that’s all he is. Just a kid. Thinks everything comes easy. His fate is worse than most.” 

“His recklessness causes a bomb to detonate. 126 people die.” His gaze is stiff on your figure. 

“Including you.” 

You freeze, staring at him, unable to move. The word of your death still lingered in the air. 

“I told myself I’d send you back,” he continues staring into the dark screens, “But you were so sweet and you made me feel so-” He cuts himself off with a huff. 

“I always have to make the right decision. Every time.” He finally says, looking back at you. 

“Just for once, I wanted to be selfish.” 

“Miguel-” 

“I won’t.” He interrupts. “I’ll keep you here. I’ll keep you safe. I always keep things that belong to me safe.” 

You don’t like how he phrased that. You don’t like anything about this. This didn’t sound like your Miguel. 

Or did you even know him? Was the weeks of kindness all an act? A ploy to keep you satisfied?

Look how wonderfully that worked? You walked right into his trap like a stupid butterfly, struggling in the sticky webs. 

“You said it yourself,” you whisper, “I’m an anomaly. I can’t-I can’t stay in a dimension that isn’t mine. I could cause rifts-or-or even worse disasters.”

You try to throw his words back at him, hoping it’d knock some sense into him. He just gives a hum at your attempts. 

“Not if you stay here,” he replies, “Not if I keep you contained. Keep you here.” 

You shake your head, stepping back. This felt like a nightmare. The tears were falling in full force, down your quivering chin as you stare at him. 

“You-you can’t do that,” You mutter, backing up against the wall as he makes his way towards you, “You can’t do that.”

He crowds you against him, hushing you as he bundles you up to his chest, stroking your hair. He’s so warm. His scent of woodland mountains is so strong. He suffocates you. You hadn’t realized it until just now. 

“I know you don’t understand.” Miguel replies, sounding so genuine. It makes you sick. “But you will. One day. One day you’ll thank me for saving you.” 

Saving you. This wasn’t saving you. This was keeping you. This was killing you. 

“I want to go home.” Your voice breaks, cracks under the weight of his confession. “Miguel please. I-I need to go home.” 

For the first time, he smiles. A sincere smile. 

A condescending smile. Like you’ve said something adorably naïve. 

“Mi amor.” He purrs, affectionately kissing your cheek. 

“You are home.” 

#yandere #delusion #dark content #atsv x reader #gn reader #miguel ohara #x reader #yandere x reader #reader insert #spiderverse #non con touching #kidnapping #yandere miguel o'hara #oh no miguel im so sorry your wife and kid died #bummer #anyway theres this cute thai place down the road

[smoshpostiing]

I came across Courtney's Flashback episode again and watching it now, I think she says "I'm going to paris!" "I'm going to fucking paris", combine that with Ian's "it's funny that we have to blip this out" and maybe things were blown out of proportion

you might be right anon!!

this is the first theory ive seen that fits pretty close that isnt "im getting married! im getting fucking married"

tbh i love being delusional about it and i cant lie theres a 98% part of me that really hopes its "im getting married" but its also really refreshing to hear a theory that ISNT that..

wonder what they would be doing in paris though lmao😅

#smosh #courtney miller #smosh cast #smosh courtney #shourtney #smoshblr

[alexturnerpet]

୨⎯ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐭. 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ⎯୧

𝘗𝘵. 𝘐 | 𝘗𝘵. 𝘐𝘐 | 𝘗𝘵. 𝘐𝘝

｡･ﾟﾟ･𝘈𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘛𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵･ﾟﾟ･｡

This one goes out to my baby girl @tragiclilb. I see your comments and they make me smile. I'm lurking and I'm stalking when you least expect it....

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Every night after that day, the same memory of Alex would stay in the back of your mind. It was nearly impossible to sleep without thinking about seeing the bus get farther away, leaving you behind.

Your friends mocked you relentlessly, which made you regret even telling them in the first place. They found it hard to believe that there was something between you two. And you not being able to explain how your simple exchange had actually meant a lot more wasn't helping.

"You're being delusional. Im sure he does that to all his fans."

And maybe they were right, but something deep in you knew they were wrong. That things could've gone differently if your friends didn't arrive the time they did.

You tried not thinking about it too often. It was all too depressing and it never failed on taking your mood down.

A week after the events of the festival, you decided to treat yourself by going to the bakery just a few blocks from where you lived. Normally you'd drive, but you took the opportunity to clear your mind and walked there.

The busy street certainly did its job of being your distraction. The constant sound of cars beeping and the endless conversations happening around you helped keep Alex off your mind.

But, you couldn't go 2 seconds without having someone come up to you and asking you if you were interested in the mormon church.

Only then did you slightly regret your decision.

Finally, you made it there after many religious ambushes. The second you opened the door the smell of coffee and pastries filled your senses, instantly making your mouth water. You looked towards the glass displays of breads that were baked that very morning.

You made your pick and went over to the counter, ordering eagerly and making sure to leave a tip before you left to take a seat. You never even noticed the stare you'd been receiving from across the bakery.

You fiddled with the receipt in your hand, not really paying attention to your surroundings.

You felt a soft tap on your shoulder, taking you out of your trance. You looked up only for the person in front of you to leave you speechless.

"Hi."

In hindsight that was the most basic greeting ever, but it was the interaction that you had been thinking about for days, the words you wish you would've heard that night at the festival.

And there Alex stood, sporting an almost nervous smile as he held onto his cup.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" You were so queasy that you didn't notice until you already said it how rude your words came off.

Nevertheless Alex just laughed it off and you were thankful he didn't take it any other way.

"Im sorry that's not what I meant." you awkwardly smiled.

"No don't worry about it, but to answer your question, I was just sitting here when I noticed you walk in. I instantly recognized you so I just had to come and say hi." he explained.

Your heart raced at the fact that he still recognized you, and the idea of him still thinking about you too made you even more jittery.

"Well I'm glad you did, I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce myself that night. It's been eating me up ever since." you replied, your cheeks still burning from the earlier embarrassment.

His face visibly lightened up. Truthfully, Alex would've thought that you had already let go and forgotten about that night. He also wondered what could've been that night if Matt hadn't told him they were in a rush.

When Alex was told this, he turned back to look at you, hoping you'd call out for him or something, he wanted a reason to go back. But you seemed to be preoccupied, and again the same thoughts returned.

He knew there'd be a slight chance that he'd actually be able to make it work with you. He knew instantly when he saw how you were looking at him from that crowd that he didn't want to be just friends.

But after that night, he was trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd never see you again but it was easier said than done. You'd left a stain in his mind and he wasn't too sure himself if he wanted it to go away.

So when he saw you in the bakery, he knew it'd had to have been fate and he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

#alex turner x reader #alex turner #arctic monkeys #Alex turner x reader oneshot #monke boy #Alex turner one shot #alex turner humbug

[lady-lauren]

lauren hello! u can call me benz/bean/stink, and im a longtime fan of ur work on ao3!!! and haha i have been slowly climbing my way out of lurker status on both these websites/returning to tumblr 👉🏼👈🏼

but ya, i finally came across ur blog today and reading all the entries for your lil valentines op matchup had me giggling kicking my feet blushing heAD OVER HEELS!!!!!!!! everyone is just teeeew cute!!!

so ofc i had to get my shit into gear and send an ask while i could!!!

unsurprisingly, its a lot of rambling and gushing so ehe i highlighted the quickest answers for ur convenience ahaha ty and hope uve been having fun with all the matchmaking!!

im a queer nb femme and gender isnt a deciding factor for me! ill love on any of odas darlings 🥰

libra sun - scorp venus - sag mars - and a billion virgo placements lol

i find this all manifests as me being a huuuge flirt, a lil dangerously magnetic at times, but for better or for worse, i never get serious unless i know that we will be each others everything - im holding out for a mutual obsession typa love (but the earth placements in me needs that obsession to be on the dl for the both of us! pookie bear and i need to have lives and loves outside of just each other!)

as for other personality traits: i love being the hypeman for my friends, i feel fulfilled when i can support them in their ups and downs, im a ride or die and live to validate my friends experiences!!!! fairly rational and level headed, but ahaha also a delusional and self sabotaging mess, but hey thats what makes life fun

love languages def quality time and physical touch - i love cuddling, fiddling with their hands and hair, doing fun things together! (i do also value solo time tho - vvv important)

i love love looooove singing and dancing - it could be at a club, a karaoke room, the car, my friends couch, anywhere! i love it love it love it - and aside from that, a second hobby ill share with u is that i enjoy photography! i love taking snaps of small things that make me smile, polaroids of my friends during their big moments, film photos of loved ones and the softness they exude when they feel safe and cared for

ehe that was a lot so ill leave it at there ehehehe

im def open to any hotter takes u may have 🤭 but otherwise ya! thats my entry, and even if u dont end up getting thru them all, how fun it iset urself get excited about a potential cutie!! and to share what you think makes you You!

aside from that, i look forward to being a nonlurking fan of what u create share curate here on tumblr!!!

with gratitude, happy early love day!

ur longwinded fan, benz aka bean aka stink 💕✨

First, welcome out of lurker status, I'm glad you came to join in my little fun 🥰

and, most importantly, I'm here to give you your mutual obsession love: Buggy.

Let me preface this with: I fucking love Buggy (I would die protecting him) and I have been WAITING for the perfect match up for him, and darlin' you're it.

Buggy would fall into your orbit immediately. The moment you first throw out your magnetic flirting, the man is toast– he's buttered up with obsession and you will be his absolute everything. He will look at you like you hung the fucking moon in the sky and that you make the birds sing and that you make his heart keep beating in his chest.

It's wonderful that you're a hype man, because believe it or not, that's really what Buggy needs. He is constantly failing upwards and it scares him. He doesn't think he deserves any notoriety–he doesn't think he deserves love at all. You would be the light he looks to for encouragement. If he can have you, maybe he does deserve to have it all, right?

He is also going to need your rational outlook because while you have a little delulu, he has a lotta delulu. He, too, is a self-sabotaging mess, but I am a firm believer that sometimes two messes can come together and somehow keep each other sane and whole.

Physical touch is also Buggy's love language. He will always want to be holding hands, fiddling with your fingers, and for the love of all things holy PLEASE play with his hair. He would let you braid it, string it into pig tails to fit in his hat, or even just let you rake your fingers through it at night in bed. He loves that shit. Put flowers in it, too.

Buggy likes to be the center of attention, but even more so he would love to watch you be the center of attention. He would love to watch you do karaoke, dance, and have a wonderful time. And, even better, as a little attention whore himself, he would love to the subject of your photography. He will literally get into any pose you ask him, (especially if he's naked). And if you show him photos you take candidly, of him being warm and soft and just enjoying life, he might literally burst into pieces of happiness.

#lauren answers #match ups #buggy #one piece

[luvyeni]

Crazy thing is, im a seungmin stan. I go insane everything i see him. Hes just so cute omg. His smile and his eyes are my favorite thing to look at. Its an addictive problem. Im so delusional for him its CRAZY. God def took this TIME making this man literally perfect. People always wonder why im obsessed with like skz or like my bias and stuff. Skz is my special interest, i can NEVER stop talking about them. People always call me obsessed or smth but its more like a hyper fixation for me. A bad one. THATS THE BAD PART ABOUT BEING A MULTI STAN LIKE DAWG IM STICKIN TO ONE GROUP BUT I LIKE OTHER GROUPS TOO. but back to seungmin, hes like superrrr adorable and if i ever came across him. I would start screaming and running away bc i suck at social interaction. I would take a pic but leave after. I could NEVER. Ever talk to any of the skz members. If someone paid me to talk to them i wouldn’t. Ill start stuttering and being a fucking nervous WRECK.

-🌸 anon

i think the only one i would be scared of talking to is hyunjin , its thats crazy cause a lot of people say lee know , but you cant tell me lee know isn't the softest person you'd ever meet. and everyone knows i never pass up a opportunity to talk to jeongin. i feel like this is me , i talk about skz way too much , it's crazy like my family learned all their names simply because i talk about them that much 😭 im just glad my family doesn't mind because i think if i was in there shoes i would've been told myself to get a journal or something, like i love all the groups i stan , but skz and nct are the groups i will never shut up about , i think it's cause i've stanned them the longest.

[andnowwedance]

I stopped reading halfway through because dont come into my inbox lecturing me. I stay out of this 99.9% of the time, a look at my blog will confirm that. that one blog just happened to cross my path today and i had just enough time to point out that nonsense i didnt go looking for for shit///

Same anon who sent the ask, ignore my prior reply regarding you not reading my entire post. I was being snarky because I thought you were knee deep in his fandom and asking why everything was the way it was. I understand now you haven’t been aware of many things regarding the fandom and that’s my bad. I assumed you knew the team pr and team real crap as you were in a convo with the main pr blogs who cause drama and are labeled as delusional. I was just tired of everything going back and forth.

My ask was mainly a psa to his overall fandom as well as me venting, but it was mainly to his fandom and anyone in the team pr vs team real crap because I stupidly assumed many CE fans were on your page.

I apologize.

You had a comment stating that you were trying to understand and I call myself answering your question but with sarcasm towards his fandom. I thought you’d find the humor in it, but I suck at voicing my emotions and sarcasm.

I’m over everything but I’m sorry if I came off as attacking you. That wasn’t my intention. I was in his fandom and it just got to be too much, so again I’m sorry especially if you just ended up in the middle of stuff today all from one simple ask.

I sincerely thought you knew what’s been going on and we’re one of the other blogs arguing back and forth, but regardless I should have communicated better and read the room, again I apologize.

I do stand by avoiding all fandoms so they won’t stress you out but I think I foolishly accidentally did that.

So sorry again, you’re definitely right to avoid his fans. 😅🫣

Have a wonderful weekend!

Oh ive been in this fandom for years as I stated in some of my other replies this morning. Ive VERY aware of all of it. I appreciate the apology for being snarky though. Injust want to make it clear that i DO NOT make argue with these people. Ive done a very good job at culling them out of my internet experience. Its just that loving hadnt posted in a long time and when she does its just gift and pics so she didnt get removed during the culling and when i came across her little post i just had to point out that she was making the point she thought she was making. I have this issue where i struggle to let things pass by without comment, hence the massive culling, and strangely its often about little side things and not even the main issue. Like i would never arguing with her about weather not its fake, people’s mind are made up on that and im certainly not going to change them. My point was that the article she was presenting to demonstrate that Hollywood has lots of fake relationships wasnt actually about fake relationships it was about fake marriage ceremonies for (relatively) real couples. Thats all i was trying to point out.

I unfollowed her now fyi so that shouldn’t be happening again

[hongism]

Hello again Caly 👋🏻 It's been a while, I'm sorry. I’m the anon that messaged you about asking for advice/your opinion on something related to writing a while ago. 🥺 So basically my question would be: what's your stance on writing fan fiction for real people? Do you think it’s fine or kind of weird and why do you think so?

I’ve also written out my background/thoughts for context. You can totally skip that, I just thought it might make sense to explain where I’m coming from. I’m sorry in advance for the wall of text that will follow. I’m very bad at keeping it short. 😭

So, I used to be a writer. I started out with kpop fan fiction when I was around 14 (I’m 24 now), but I stopped writing for kpop groups when I was around 17. From then on I wrote fan fiction for fictional characters, mostly anime characters, but I stopped sometime last year. I still have a lot of unfinished ideas I want to write, a lot of them include fictional characters, but others include real people, like the Ateez members or another group’s members, and that's the problem. Let me explain a little further: After a very painful breakup in the second half of last year I got back into kpop. More than ever. While I was casually listening to a few groups before, I suddenly started getting into like 10 groups within a really short amount of time (got7, mx, dreamcatcher, everglow, skz, svt, oneus etc. just to name a few). It’s been great so far, because the music and the groups are kind of a safe haven to me (if that makes sense). I mean, Kpop really helps me cope and kind of escape or make reality a little easier, I'm sure there are more people out there who feel the way I do. I wouldn’t say I’m overly obsessed or anything, but Kpop just is my biggest source of comfort right now, so sometimes I wonder "isn’t this a bit much?“. It’s a difficult topic. But anyways, of course one of the groups I got into was Ateez, otherwise I probably wouldn't be here writing this right now. So I listened to fireworks when it came out and I was impressed and instantly fell in love with them. A little while after that, when I still couldn’t match all of their names with their faces, I started browsing the ao3 tag out of curiosity and I stumbled across moc. I absolutey fell in love with the story and every aspect of it. It also inspired me to write myself again! I've had so many old and new ideas flood my mind, but I really haven't gotten around to write anything yet, because the fact that I'd be writing fan fiction for real people as an adult woman makes me feel kind of uneasy? But I don’t want it to make me feel uneasy! You know? I think it should be fine as long as you’re capable of differentiating reality from fiction. And as an adult with common sense you usually can do that, right? But I’ve seen many people, mostly on tumblr and twitter, say that it’s just weird and wrong and that it automatically makes you a delusional and obsessive fan. So now I’m torn between wanting to realize all the ideas I have (Big thanks to you, because you, your blog and moc are a huge inspiration for me 💕 also moc is without a doubt the best fan fiction I’ve ever read. It’s just an absolutely impressive and thrilling story) and feeling like I’m not supposed or allowed to do that? I hope that makes sense. I know there’s a million other things I wanted to tell you, but I think that’s enough for now. If this is a discussion that interests you, I might comeback with my two cents. 😳 Anyways, I hope I was able to convey my inner conflict and my feelings and everything. 🥺 English isn’t my first language so it was a bit difficult to phrase everything in a way that felt right. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read and answer this. I appreciate it A LOT. I hope you have a great week ahead of you! 🥰🥰🥰

hello hun i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your ask!! i wanted to make sure to set aside some time so i could be as thorough as possible in my response and give you my thoughts as clearly as possible!

so this debate has been something i've dealt with and struggled with a lot over the years of consuming fanfiction and creating it. i started out writing fanfiction of media like anime before getting into kpop, and it took me around 3 years to even start reading kpop fanfiction. every once in a while, the debate of whether or not real person fanfiction is okay or not comes up, and that does always discourage me. i wish i could be like 'yeah im solidly set in this opinion!' but i do still get discouraged myself, and that's something i think a lot of people struggle with! i resonate a lot with how you feel and what your opinions are and how much music and kpop means to you. i also get those worries of 'isn't this a bit much?' and such and it's a difficult thing to talk about and think about, but as you said, i think there is a line when it comes to fanfiction and life and reality

i have no issue with real person fanfiction. i tend to not read or write 'idol' aus because it feels a little too real for my comfort zone, but i will say that the people who dislike it are loud. they're hard to ignore and avoid. you aren't delusional or obsessive for enjoying fanfiction. it's called fan FICTION, meaning it's not real and it should not be meant to be real. it should be fine as long as you're able to draw the line and say 'this is not real and it will never be'. i think it's okay in some instances to be like 'man i wish i could live in this universe' while still realizing it's not real and you're not trying to force it down anyone's throats. that's the biggest thing in my mind. as long as you are not trying to shove it in these idols' faces or psychoanalyze them and their relationships, it's okay.

if someone doesn't like fanfiction, it's easy to just take a step back and say 'okay i won't talk about it/share it with you'. you can really cater your own experiences, decide what you want to see or don't want to see, but a lot of people complain about 'having' to see it. pretty much every single fanfic writer i've spoken to and encountered says they NEVER want someone to send a fanfic to an idol/the person who is in it, which is good and i think the best course of action when it comes to fanfic.

all in all, fanfic exists, it's out there, and it's FICTION. it's not real, it's not meant to be shoved in other people's faces, it's not meant to be shared with the idols who are characters in it, and most often the idols are 'place-holders' for characters. what i mean by that is they are a common place for a lot of people, something recognizable and enjoyable, but the personalities and way they're written will always differ across the board. you could think of it almost as a canvas, a person you like being a canvas for you to paint your words and stories on. writing fanfiction about kpop does not make you any less or more of a fan, it doesn't mean you don't respect and care about these idols as human beings and people, and the biggest thing to worry about is simply understanding and respecting your boundaries as a fan by not sharing it/shoving it in the idols' face.

i hope this all makes sense and isn't coming off the wrong way? but i also hope it helps you feel better and understand how i feel!! you say english isn't your first language, but i would NEVER have guessed, your english is absolutely perfect and understandable <3 thank you so much for trusting me and talking to me about this, i'm very grateful and thankful for it and your sweet words about my works 🥺💕

[drxwsyni]

Yandere Mirio Togata x quirkless!f!Reader x Tamaki Amajiki

Anonymous asked: “I recently read your headcannons for poly yandere Tamaki and Miro. They were so good!! I was wondering if you could do a one shot about their darling escaping for over a week and is finally letting her guard down. Maybe while at the store the two yanderes finally find her. (Maybe the punishment that ensues afterward). Female quirkless reader if you will. Keep up the amazing work!”

a/n: im sorry this took so long! i have a lot of requests that are really time consuming along with my other fics right now but i swear everything that’s sent in so far will be completed. And thank you anon! I actually really like this pairing so i’m glad people are asking more of it :)

_____

Isolation      (2.3k words)

_____

One week.

Seven whole days without the smothering presence of the two so called ‘heroes’ who’d delusionally kept you under lock and key without rest.

The smiles and reassuring sentiments they offered did little to calm the fear you had for the men. No matter how much they declared their devotion to your safety and general well being, nothing could hide the undenying brutality they were capable of should you ever slip up.

You’d seen them in action before. On the news or in a social media coverage―during the time prior to meeting them―demonstrating the extent of their quirks. Their personalities were so gentle, almost as if to distract from the severeness of their abilities. And for the general public, it did the trick.

It did it for you too.

The warmth to their compassion was irresistible. The worst part about it was how genuine it was―and still is. You would be gladly basking in their affection even in the present if it weren’t for the predicament they’d placed you in after you ever so foolishly opened up to them.

The realization on their end should’ve been nothing to think twice about. It came in an idle conversation one day―the fact that you were quirkless.

They’d already grown fairly protective of you since that fateful day in which they worked together to rescue you and your coworkers from a hostage situation. But after getting to know you more, and subsequently coming across this detail, the change was like day and night.

You didn’t even see it coming. Waking up in an unfamiliar room, wrists cuffed together with a long metal chain attached, padlocked to the headboard of a king sized bed. When you found out who the guilty party of this transgression was, you knew better than to fight tooth and nail despite everything in your being wanting to.

No, it was about outsmarting them. They were stronger―so much stronger. You wouldn’t stand a chance against one, let alone both Mirio and Tamaki. It came down to biding your time.

Fighting the bile in the back of your throat, you let them have their way. The two of them were smothering.

Mirio was a little more lenient. He spent a lot of time around you, but somewhere in his dysfunctional mind was the notion that you needed your space...sometimes. His downsides came in the form of a tight grip around your frame that threatened to squeeze the air from your chest and keep it out. More than once had it left you pitifully begging him to loosen his hold even in the slightest.

As for Tamaki, he was much gentler with his affection. You were allowed the space to breath, but it didn’t mean much when you could almost never pry the man off of you when he was around. Clingy was an understatement―he treated you more like a pampered pet than an actual human.

Together, they were suffocating. You’d never seen such a display of diligence until being forced into the confines of their home. There left absolutely no room for error on their part―something you became keenly aware of.

So, rather than brute forcing your way to freedom, you resolved to lure them into trust the way they’d done with you.

The ordeal took ages, and your will to go through with your plans was ashamedly growing weaker each day. But finally you’d caught them slipping up under the pretence that you weren’t watching their every move like a hawk.

First it was the passcode to the computer in the living room―to disarm the house’s security system, the cameras along with it. After that it was a matter of getting your hands on the spare keys to the locks, both those around your wrists and the digital ones keeping the front door shut. This feat proved to be significantly harder, but one of them was bound to falter eventually.

You’d never felt so grateful to Mirio as he carelessly left his keys on the side table in the entrance in favour of scooping you up in his arms and settling on the couch with you instead. And he left them there as he quickly went to change out of his work attire in his bedroom―just enough time for you to pry the spares off the metal keyring and pocket them for yourself.

They hated leaving you alone and without supervision, a worry that Tamaki held more than Mirio, so it left the window for escape impossibly small. But you jumped on the opportunity the second it came.

For some ungodly reason neither of them picked up on the missing keys.

Your luck must have been coming to existence all at once, as not soon after they were forced to be apart from you at the same time for particularly demanding hero work―not that you cared.

You’d gone over the plan in your head just about a million times, so when the moment finally came your body acted without pause.

The cuffs fell from your wrists. The computer was unlocked and the failsafes were shut down. A backpack was shoved with supplies―clothing, money, food―and then the front door was opened. You stepped outside for the first time in months, you’d lost track of how many.

From then on it was just about running, putting as much distance in between you and that dreaded house as possible. When you finally reached the city, you didn’t even bother going to the police. They wouldn’t believe you, not when it came to two of the most upstanding young heroes out there.

Instead you went to the nearest train station, purchasing a ticket for whichever one was next for departure.

You did that a few more times in whichever town you were dropped off at until you reached the limit for how much money you were willing to spend on traveling. Now it was about holing up in some cheap motel until you could scrounge up the cash elsewhere to keep distancing yourself.

By the end of your first week you were still left with the same sum of money as you were when you got there. The weight of your fear was enough to keep you inside. But you couldn’t live off of overpriced room service and the remaining energy bars from that glorified prison forever.

As much as the prospect of leaving the safety of your room terrified you, the thought of starving to death wasn’t any more appealing. You weren’t hungry yet, but the food would only last for another day―maybe less. It was regrettably the most rational option, should you not want to run out of the little money you had.

It was supposed to be quick. There was a convenience store just ten minutes from the motel. You would grab the cheapest options there and make a beeline back to the dingy building you were stationed in.

You felt their presence before you saw them.

A large, strong arm snaked around your waist, pulling you back into a broad chest. Mirio.

And then came the visual confirmation in the form of Tamaki walking out to stand in front of you―too closely for your comfort.

“What’s our little angel doing all the way out here?” Mirio’s voice was lighthearted, but you could hear the distinct lowness, threatening.

You couldn’t move, frozen in place by gut wrenching fear.

Tamaki took both your hands in his own, a grip that could crush bones if he applied even a little more pressure. “Do you know how long it took us to find you? I-I thought―”

“But she’s here now, right? And because she knows what’s best for her she’ll be good and come home with us.” His voice was near centimeters from your ear, sending a shiver up and down your spine.

You didn’t wait this long to be free from them to just give up so easily.

“I’m not going back.”

Mirio gave your hip a small squeeze, a nonverbal warning followed by the real thing. “You know we’d never hurt you baby. Not unless you forced us.”

“B-but we’re not against hurting the people in this store. They’d never find out it was us and you know that.”

Of course, they were too smart to leave a trail back to them, or back to you. And in an instant that strong defiance you once held vanished into thin air, replaced with pure dread.

“P-please don’t do this. You don’t need to do that, just―”

“That’s right, sunshine. We don’t need to hurt anyone. We just need you to come home, you can do that for us, right?”

Like you had a choice.

The blond was already pulling you towards to exit before you could respond. Tamaki hadn’t let go of his death grip either, and you weren’t about to fight him.

Instead you kept your eyes trained on the ground, head hung as if even looking at another person might have them thinking you were about to ask for help. Tears were silently falling from your eyes as they led you back to their car parked outside the convenience store.

“We’re so glad you’re okay sweetheart. You know how dangerous it can be without us to protect you.”

Tamaki was silent as he opened the back door for you, his partner doing all the talking.

The town you were in felt abandoned, especially now that you were off to the side parking lot of the rundown store. So there was nobody to witness the two men carting you off to that wretched place they called your home.

Nobody to witness when the blonde behind you covered your face in a white rag that was alarmingly sweet-smelling.

The ride home would be long, he said. No need to put you through any more stress today.

Before you knew it your limbs grew heavy, brain muddled with inescapable exhaustion. They didn’t even give you the chance to argue over the matter, but then again, it’s nothing they hadn’t done before.

_____

It was cold―so undeniably cold.

The concrete left your body aching when you came to. Your clothing had been replaced with shorts and a tank top―showing that they were still generous enough not to leave you completely defenceless.

You were in a room you didn’t recognize, questioning whether or not the two even brought you back. It was barren: grey walls, a bucket in the corner, illuminated by a single ceiling light that you couldn’t locate the switch to. Lastly, there was the heavy metal door that served as the only exit to the suffocatingly small enclosure.

And there was no handle, or observable locks.

The only sound was that of your own heartbeat as the thudding grew more intense with each passing second.

It stayed like that for ages. Left with the company of your own mind, the isolation began eating away at you quicker than you could’ve ever anticipated.

At this point you assumed this was how they were choosing to deal with your behaviour, but the absence of that clarification was worse than the initial shock by far. It made you paranoid.

Not even the hunger eating away at your stomach was enough to distract you.

Or the extreme drought in your mouth from dehydration.

Or the sharp pain in your tailbone from having remained unmoving from your spot in the corner.

When the sound of footsteps finally could be heard leading up to the doorway, you almost thought that you were hearing things.

The lock shifted in the metal compartments, echoing off the walls.

You would’ve stood up to greet whoever was behind the doors, but the pain that was spreading down your back, coupled with the sensation of your lower limbs falling asleep long ago prevented this.

The door creaked open, and you hated that you felt an ounce of gratitude to see that it was in fact Mirio and Takami who’d put you in this god forsaken room.

The blond started forward ever so slightly while his counterpart remained at the frame of the doorway.

You still feared the men, even though they’d done nothing to physically hurt you―at least until now. So you remained huddled in the corner, arms wrapped defensively around your legs as Mirio stalked over to your form, crouching down at your side.

“You know why you're down here, right?” A rhetorical question, all three of you knew the situation well.

“We don’t want to do this, but you need to learn you can’t just run off like that.” Tamaki’s voice was quiet, like he hated locking you up more than you hated being locked up.

Out of habit you kept your mouth shut. You’d held out for this long while still retaining your sanity, what was a little longer?

“This isn’t a punishment, sunshine. It’s more like...a lesson. You’ll stay here for a bit so you can learn that what you did was wrong, okay?” He reached out and patted your head, as if that would make you feel any better.

It baffled you how he could keep a smile even when subjecting you to such inhumane conditions. But you chalked it up to insanity as clearly neither he nor Tamaki had an ounce of an idea of how wrong this was.

There was a long moment of silence, the two likely waiting for a response which you had none to give. You couldn’t fight them, or talk them out of their plans.

You should’ve ran farther.

The blond stood up from his crouched position, walking back over to his partner.

“We’ll be back in a few hours so you can eat, don’t miss us too much!” Joyful as ever, Mirio led his partner out of room, motioning to close the door before pausing.

“Just know that we love you, okay? We’re doing this for you.”

You could just barely hear Tamaki’s voice before the door slowly closed shut. There was the sound of the locks once again, falling into place.

And then the lights went out.

But you told yourself that you would get through this. You had to.

Because you were scared of what would become of you if you started to enjoy their affection.

#yandere bnha #yandere mirio #yandere tamaki #yandere mirio togata #yandere tamaki amajiki #yandere my hero academia #yandere lemillion #yandere suneater

[ghost-ghost-baby]

Scales pt. 4a //yan!bakusquad fantasy au//

a/n: im so fuckin sorr this took so long lol, it was actually written but life was too crazy to edit/post. i had to make this angsty so it wouldnt turn out horny

Pt. 5

warnings: swearing, mature themes? mentions of past abuse/trauma

Things felt weirdly normal when you woke up, and despite the memories that flashed through your head you kept your cool. You needed to be logical, it was the only way you’d be able to get out of here alive. Denki was in your arms when you finally opened your eyes, and a weight lifted from your chest. Oh thank gods you were together. That made things easier. The room was… undoubtedly luxurious, Shigaraki sure knew how to play nice when he wanted. Horror shot through you when you saw the iron collar clamped around Denki’s neck. Fuck, you knew what that was. you’d seen it used before, and Denki wasn’t going to be able to help with it on. You’d need a diamond to get it off, unless you could get the key. Fucking Shigaraki, he’d be here soon to gloat. The fucker loved nothing more than being validated for what he’d done.

“I didn’t appreciate your little stunt.” Shigaraki finally showed his face, and your eyes narrowed as you stared at him from the bed.

“If you were bored you should have just told me. I thought you liked the solitude while I was busy, but obviously I was wrong.” He took a seat next to you and your skin crawled, had he gotten crazier? “But that’s all in the past now, and you have your own pet to keep you entertained.” Oh yeah he absolutely lost it while you were gone. You stayed silent as you watched his fingers trail over your leg to Denki’s sleeping form next to you. The threat was clear despite him staying silent. If you tried anything, he’d take it out on Denki.

“Thank you.” You had to force the words out, any feelings you had right now didn’t matter. You just needed to keep Denki safe, and that meant keeping Shigaraki happy until you could get away. It worked, his chapped lips stretched into a grin as he made himself comfortable besides you, showing no intention of leaving any time soon.

“They did WHAT?” Katsuki flung his sword across the room, the metal sending up a puff of feathers when it hit the bed. He’d just gotten back from a war meeting, and this was the first thing he had to hear?

“How dare that dry ass motherfucker send his cronies here, I’ll get Y/n and Denki back myself.” He snarled, and Hanta had to jump on him before he could leave .

“Katsuki, calm down, if you go rushing in it’ll only make the situation worse.” Mina crouched down, making sure she was in the blondes line of sight so he had no choice but to listen.

“Yeah man, Izuku can help, right?” Hanta added, still pinning Katsuki down. 

“And Shoto too, we have allies Katsuki, we don’t have to just rush in.” Mina glanced at Kiri, who nodded in agreement despite the fact he wanted nothing more than to bolt to wherever you were. He just needed to make sure you were safe. At least Denki was with you, the two of you could take care of each other for the time being, and it would be enough that the bond wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Fine, get them here, now! We need to do this quickly!” Katsuki gave in with a snarl, the more people he had to crush that extra, the better.

Fingers tapping your thigh made you jump, and you dropped the book in your hands as you turned to Denki. He’d just been…dozing, barely waking up to eat and drink.

“Oh, you’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Weird, kinda out of it… where are we?” Gold eyes darted around the room, horror growing in them with every passing second. “What happened to Mina?” Denki was starting to panic, and you had to grab his hand to make him look at you.

“She got away, I sent her back to Katsuki so she could get help.” You soothed, hand smoothing over his hair. “You know what they're like, I'm sure they're planning something right now.” He didn't look convinced, and you wondered how he hasn't noticed the iron around his neck.

“Why can't we just break out?”

“If there's a sure opportunity for us to escape I'll take it, but you can't fight with the collar on, and I can't get it off while we're here.” You grabbed his wrists to stop him tearing at it, there was no use.

“Don't try to use your powers, okay? I'm not sure what it'll do, but the ones I've had have never been good. Your powers will activate the selected gem, and depending on that the collar will do something. I don’t want to risk it.”

“How do you know all this?” Denki squinted at you, and you dropped his arms, hands folding in your lap as you thought about how to explain that.

“I um, always had a talent for magic, my teachers kept track and when I graduated Shigaraki noticed and I uh… didn’t exactly go along with him at first, so he chose a… harsher…? Way for me to learn and fit into his… role for me.” The words stuck in your throat on the way up, you never thought you’d have to tell anyone that.

“I know it might be… a lot, and I promise I’ll tell you everything when we get out of here, but you need to trust me, okay Denki?” You couldn't look at him, your whole plan needed him, you couldn’t leave him here alone.

“Okay Y/n, but I’ll hold you to that promise.” You couldn’t help startle when Denki surged forward, nuzzling your neck and wrapping his arms around your waist. This wasn’t the reaction you expected, he went along so easily?

“O-Okay, just follow my lead, he needs to let his guard down and I… know how to do that.”

“The meeting was awful, honestly that scum are lucky I have you to calm me down… so I don’t have to resort to more extreme methods.” You’d tuned out most of Shigaraki’s rant, Denki had fallen asleep and you didn’t see the point in waking him for this. The king had his head in your lap, your fingers carding through his hair with a familiarity you hated. Shigaraki turned so he was facing you, one hand coming up to caress your cheek and you were lucky he was delusional enough to think the shudder that ran through you was good.

“Hmm? What happened this time?” You forced the words out, pretending to care really fucking sucked. His answer was lost as Denki started to stir next to you, oh god why’d he have to wake up now? He was gonna say something bad and it’d be over for the both of you. Shigaraki was still mumbling on while your eyes were fixed on Denki, humming your acknowledgment at the appropriate intervals so he’d think you cared.

“I swear it’d be better if I just ripped their heads off, then I could just stay here with you.” These words were mumbled into your skin,, Shigaraki going from laying in your lap to straddling you and hiding his face in your neck before you could do anything to stop him. You hated when he got like this, it could last for days if he was feeling particularly insecure or clingy.

“But then you’d have nobody to do what needs to be done, and you’d be spending even less time here.” Denki spoke and your heart stopped, oh god oh god ohgod. Shigsraki pulled back to look at the blonde, eyebrows raised as he considered that option.

“You have a point.” The king shrugged before he went back to your neck as if nobody had spoken, lips brushing against your skin as he grew bolder. Unease surged through you at the contact, the force of it through the bond almost made Denki transform, but he remembered you needed him to be good so you could get them out of here, and so he settled for buying his face in your thighs. He really hoped you knew what you were doing, and that the others were planning something. A knock at the door had your heart jumping into your throat, and after a growled answer from Shigaraki, Dabi entered the room. His voice was bored as ever while he spoke, something about needing Shigaraki back in the war room because their scouts had spotted something. A grunt left the king as he started to get up, unable to stop himself nipping at your neck before he pulled away, the red already blooming had him satisfied enough to slink over to Dabi and, in turn, leave you and Denki alone again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry this is all my fault-“ your anxiety took over the second the door closed, throat clogging up and tears clouding your vision. Kiri should have just left you to die, then none of them would be in this mess.

“C’mon, you’re okay, come back to me now.” Denki pulled your chest to his, forcing your breathing to follow his as he focused on calming you down. Your eyes slowly came back into focus, gold was the only thing you could see for a moment before Denki pulled back.

“Is that better?” His hand brushed the tears off your face, a comforting smile on his face. How could he look so angelic in this situation?

“Yeah, sorry about that.” You wiped your nose, humiliation setting in as you realised how pathetic you must look, you needed to be stronger if you were going to get out of here alive.

“There’s nothing to apologise for, this is a tough situation.” Denki shrugged, he didn’t want to pressure you into talking about your past, but something big had obviously happened. Your unease was still flooding through the bond, easily alerting Denki to the fact you weren’t fine, worse, you were lying to him about it. He just wanted to help. Maybe he should try and distract you? Opting to cheer you up any way he could, Denki cuddled into your side, making sure he was monitoring how you felt though the bond. Your gaze shifted as the blonde rubbed over your skin, making a noise you could only describe as a croon while his face nuzzled against your neck. The noise was… weirdly comforting, and it wasn’t long before you felt some of the anxiety leaving you. Denki was over the moon, you were responding so well! His crooning picked up at how happy he was, and you let your head rest on his shoulder, your own hands finding his and intertwining with them. You were almost asleep when the door opening had you jumping awake, Denki slowly blinking as he figured out what had spooked you. Confusion was all that remained when you saw Dabi there, Shigaraki nowhere to be seen as he closed the door behind him.

“I talked to Shoto, I’m gonna help you out.”

“Dabi agreed to help us, but in return he wants Shigaraki alive, for himself. It’s the best chance we have, he’s the kings right hand.” Shoto deadpanned, completely unbothered by the snarling warrior being held back by Kirishima next to him.

“I wanna rip that bastard to shreds, fuck Dabi, we can do this without him.” Katsuki finally managed to get out after he’d been calmed down, a task that took several minutes.

“It’d take longer, you really want to sacrifice Y/n and Denki so you can kill someone?” Hanta had to help hold Katsuki back at that remark from Shoto.

“Katsu, Shoto’s right, our priority needs to be getting them quickly, not killing Shigaraki.” Mina placed her hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, the thing that finally calmed him down enough to mumble out a fine and get on with the actual planning.

“Finally, now what we’re going to do is cause a distraction on the battlefield, during which Dabi will knock out Shigaraki and get Denki and Yn to a safe destination we’ll go to after the battle. Now, onto the details…”

“You’re what? No way, it’s a trap right? Shigaraki is testing my loyalty? I’m not falling for something like this again.” You shook your head as you paced the room, Denki still sitting on the bed and Dabi lounging on a chair next to the desk. It was exactly the kind of thing that bastard would do.

“Bakugo told me to tell Denki about the dandelions.” Dabi ignored your rant, instead turning to Denki and raising his eyebrows at the blonde. Lower lip between his teeth, The blonde slunk over to you, grabbing your hand tightly before he spoke.

“It’s not a trap, Y/n, he’s telling the truth.”

“You don’t know that, what if they captured someone that told him?” You hissed, eyes darting over to the nonchalant figure in the chair.

“Hey, you asked me to trust you before, I need you to trust me now. Okay?” He presses a kiss to your cheek when he was finished, and despite your best efforts that smile got to you, made you relax and squeeze his hand.

“I-Fuck. Okay, I trust you.”

Taglist under the cut (let me know if there are any problems/you want to be added)

@averydrearydiana@wolfygecko@baby-snart@ssnaketongue@that-one-piece-oftrash@emilysimaginesblog@generousdigitalartartghost@slowly-gently@toffee1812@izzys-complete-insanity@sexisquid@icecreamguru03@tessamarie22@peculiar-faerie@lunaralpha270@max7500@graduatedmelon@everstrange1@saltytocrusade@dark-side-blog2@tinyspacesaurus@shimyshimyagustd@teacaku@shinethesensational@yooalicee@radnickeltoadbat@superrllama@trinshappyplaces@kai-iaa@mini-kunoichi-universe@estellegladiolus@kirapholia@lemonmaim@skylerstorm2@phantomfunguschild@naked-canadians@meaper112@cute-cotton-tail@xxnatashahicksxx @elektraeriseros@alpacalunches@a-mistake-tbh@evienorville@kirapholia@lemonmaim

@skylerstorm2@naked-canadians@degenerate-yandere@cute-cotton-tail@xxnatashahicksxx@artificially-chill@brbgettingchocolates@redvelevetdog@zaboomanyoom@alpacalunches@bad-boquet-of-emotions@tokyohealth@okthensherlock@imlosingmyshit@smallangrynerd@cherry-mariss@frostfox382

#scales #bnha x reader #yandere x reader #bakugo x reader #denki x reader #mina x reader #yandere hanta x reader #yandere kirishima x reader #yandere kirishima #yandere eijiro #yandere bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #yandere kaminari #yandere denki x reader #yandere oneshot #yandere imagines #yandere x you #bakusquad #yanderebakusquad #bakusquad x reader

[psychotic-psypport]

Hi. I recently came across some transphobic stuff saying being trans is a delusion and shouldn't be fed into and now im paranoid that my whole trans experience is just another delusion and I'm gonna regret transitioning, even though I'm already so far into it. I can't stop wondering if im wrong and im scared im gonna detransition and become transphobic or something even if I know I would never do that. Do you have any advice or affirmations that might help me?

I want you to know that as a fellow non cis psychotic person, I see you, I hear you, and I know that you are who you say you are. You would never tell me that my being agender was a delusion, so why would you think that about yourself? You know in your heart who you are. Don't let some garbage transphobe tell you that they know more about you than you do. YOU are delusional+psychotic and YOU are trans. You are far more of an expert on both topics than some random person tell you who and what you are. People just love to throw the word delusional as if they understand what it means, and I genuinely doubt they understand what they're talking about, both about psychosis and trans people.

#ask #anon #answered #transphobia

[peachywise]

little games

richie tozier x reader 

– Part V || ⋆ Introduction ⋆ Part I ⋆ Part II ⋆ Part III ⋆ Part IV ⋆ Part V (more to be released)

– Synopsis: After the most recent prank Richie pulled, the last thing you expected was to be hanging out with him. It wasn’t by choice, but still. This trip to the quarry is going to be a long one. 

– Notes: so sorry it took me this long to update guys! i took a bit of a break but i’m back into the swing of things with fanfiction. as always, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!! (also, i realized im really poor at updating the tag list, so if you’ve asked me to tag you and i haven’t just give me a lil reminder and i’ll try to be better with it) (also, abuse tw in the first little bit, and abuse mentions later on) 

The pain was unbearable.

You had felt pain before, but never to this extent. Your head was screaming, splitting, sickening. You wondered if the force in which you had hit the wall had cracked your skull. Possibly cracked other parts of your body, and the drywall itself. And was that blood? It was hard to tell; your vision was cutting out.

You could hear her yelling, though the ringing in your ears was too loud to decipher the actual words. It was probably the same as always, however. Even through the blinding pain, such sayings had been ingrained into your memory for years.

Something touched your arm and you instinctively coiled back, weakly, from fear and the sudden pain that shot through it. Did that get injured too? A new face invaded the blurry scene in front of you, as hands gripped your face gently, a deeper, more reassuring voice cutting past the yelling woman. You swore you heard more voices enter the house before everything went black.

Rising with a cold, frigid scream, you were unsure if it was residual fear from your reoccurring nightmare or the cold ass fucking water that had just been doused all over you.

You were going to go with the latter.

A hand quickly clapped over your mouth, stifling your scream, as the face of Richie goddamn Tozier got way to close for comfort. His too big glasses that framed his alarmed, yet oh-so-amused eyes, began to slip slightly down his nose as he had the gall to shush you. Not to be cliché or anything, but the fucking nerve of that kid!

“I’m going to remove my hand, but you gotta be quiet or your aunt’s gunna come up here,” he harshly whispered, as your eyes drilled into his. You hoped he understood just how annoyed you were. This was almost as bad as your nightmare. Almost. Letting out a huff of air, you gave a brief nod of your head, and Richie tentatively pulled his hand away, not moving back an inch from his close position. Still aggravated, and entirely drenched, you lifted your arm up and put your whole hand over his face, pushing him away as you simultaneously sat up. He smacked it away.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, and was the water really necessary?” you bit out, throwing the covers off of you as you climbed out of bed, shivering as you made your way over to grab a hoodie that had been thrown over your desk’s chair. “How the hell did you even get in here? Why are you here?” you questioned, slipping it over your head and still giving him a death glare, no matter how weak it was in your tired state.

“Well I was bound to make you wet eventually, the water just sped the process up a bit,” the boy snickered. Feeling heat rise to your cheeks at the comment, you quickly reached over to grab a notebook and throw it full force at his stupid head. Bound to eventually. Ha! You knew he was an idiot, but now he was delusional as well.

Catching it before it could hit him, he fumbled with it for a second before it dropped to the ground. “I got in through your window. Come on, we’re playing hookie from school.”

Yep. Totally delusional.

“No,” you stated definitely, crossing your arms in front of your chest as the two of you had an intense stare down. “No way.” What the hell was going on? The last time you had even talked to Richie was last Friday when he had been over to your house, confronting your cousin. You had played it fairly cool then, but as soon as the trashmouth had left, you reamed Bill out. Yeah, what Richie said was decent of him, but did that make you friends? Nuh-uh.

“Well, I already called you in, so it’s either you come with me, or I spend all day here. I always was Bill’s Moms favourite, I wonder how she’s doing—“ he spoke, moving lazily towards your door. You heart leaped out of your chest as you reached out to grip his upper arm. Aunt Sharon could not find out he was up here. Oh God, what would she think?

“Don’t even think about it,” you hissed, jerking him back towards you, before dropping your hand as if touching him would corrode your fingers off. “How could you call me in? Full offense, but you don’t sound anything like Sharon or Zack,” you stated, crossing your arms once again and pulling your hands into the sleeves of your hoodie to warm them up. Richie quirked an eyebrow. “Wanna bet?” he smiled, before straightening his back and pulling a face you assumed was meant to read ‘aged dad’ but came across more like a poor man’s Robert De Niro.  “Yes, Hello? I’m Y/N L/N’s guardian. Yes, Zack Denbrough. They seemed to have—” putting up your hand in order to cut him off, you had heard enough. It wasn’t the most spot-on impression, but damn, over a scratchy phone, even you would have been fooled.

“Alright, alright, I get it you asshole,” you grumbled out, while he simply continued to smirk. “But seriously. Crawl back out of the window where you came from. I’m going to go to school, I’ll just tell the front office I feel better or something,” you shrugged, moving over to your drawers to pull out some clothes to change into. Not that you would while Richie was still there.

“If this is about your math test, this sick day will at least give you one more day to study for it,” Richie commented. Math test? What math test, you didn’t remember there being a math test— oh shit. Oh fuck. With everything that had happened last Friday and the stress of getting over it on the weekend, you had totally forgotten. Your face must have displayed the clear panic you had felt, as Richie stepped up to you with a wide, toothy, Cheshire grin as he stated, “you forgot, didn’t you? Well, now you have no choice but to skip with me.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s the spirit!” Richie declared, “now get dressed. Something hot. You are hanging out with me, after all,” he commented, as he moved over to your drawers, utterly disregarding the clothes you had already pulled out. You grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt and tugged him back, shoving him towards your open window. “Why would I dress nicely when you didn’t provide me the same courtesy?” you deadpanned, pointing out the window. “Now get out while I change. I’ll meet you down there.”

“As you wish,” Richie commented, giving a rather shit elaborate bow before hopping right out the way he came. Why were you doing this? Why did you agree? Why the hell did he offer? You two could barely stand to be in the same room with each other, and he wanted to spend the day recreating Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? You didn’t trust it. The smart idea would be to lock your window and brace going to school and taking the (probable) fail on your math test. But damn, if your curiosity wasn’t getting the best of you. Whatever prank Richie inevitably had planned, you were going to win. You half expected that by not going with him, that was admitting defeat.

You wouldn’t dare do that.

Quickly stripping off your wet clothes, you threw on a simple t-shirt and jeans, before grabbing the towel off the back of your door and rubbing your still damp hair with it. You had no time to fully dry or tame the locks, so the sun outside would have to do.

Sighing as you made your way over to your window, you quietly squirmed your way out, dropping down the short way from the ledge to the ground. “Ready?” Richie questioned, slinging his arm over your shoulder. “Let’s get this day over with,” you mumbled, shrugging his arm right off as you waited for him to lead the way.

“What is this place?” You questioned, as you gazed over the cliff to the calm water below. It had only just turned into fall, so the air was crisper than usual. You regretted not wearing a sweater. “I know we don’t get along, but I didn’t expect you to murder me,” you added, twisting the look over your shoulder. Richie rolled his eyes as he stepped next to you. “It’s the Quarry. All of us used to hang out here a bunch when we were kids. Not so much anymore, but in the summers sometimes it’s nice to come back here.”

Making a small “ah,” noise, you nodded before looking back to the water below again. It was… nice. You could see why it could be a better hang out spot than anywhere in town. Imagining all seven of them here wasn’t that hard. Made you kind of wish you had grown up here instead. With them. As much as you had become friends with the rest of the Losers’ Club, you still felt a bit like an outsider. You hadn’t fully let them in yet, and until you did, you’d always just be skimming on the edge, peering in, wishing and hoping.

The thought of that made your heart ache just the slightest bit.

After about three minutes of just silence, you felt an overwhelming urge to say something. So, out came the first thing that your mind thought was appropriate to bring up. “Thanks for saying that to Bill,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around yourself and tucking your hands under your arms. “The other night,” you quickly added, as if it really needed clarification.

Shrugging his shoulders, the boy in the vibrant floral shirt sat down on the dirt covered ground, letting his legs hang off the cliff’s edge. Hesitantly, you joined him. “Well it’s true,” he quipped, putting his weight on his arms as he leaned slightly back. “But seriously. If I ever step too far, just tell me. I understand that some shit just can’t be touched." A little more quietly, he added, "trust me.”

Turning to look at him, you studied his face. You were shocked to see the small look of sincerity etched on his features. Maybe he did understand. No one should, but maybe he did. And maybe that made you two more alike than you ever cared to admit.

Not thinking it the time or the place to ask him what he meant by that, you decided on a question with less emotional implication.“Why are we here, Richie?” Your voice was just barely loud enough to hear over the wind as it picked up.

“I don’t know," he stated, "honestly. It felt weird knowing you hadn’t seen this place yet.” Odd reasoning. Turning your gaze towards him, you gave him a questioning look, prompting him to elaborate further. He returned it with a glance of minor exasperation.

“You’ve been here for a month and already you’ve squirmed your way into the group. This place just seems like part of the group, I guess.” He huffed out, a small crease appearing on his forehead. Apart of the group? How could you be apart of the group if not everyone had accepted you yet?

“But you hate me.”

Whipping his head in your direction, that statement seemed to have caught him off guard. Giving your own look of disbelief, you let out a small laugh as you stated, “what? I mean, it’s no secret that we kind of like giving each other shit every day.” Richie snorted, shaking his head like you were the idiot. You took offense to that more than anything he had done thus far.

“Baby cakes, if I hated you, do you really think we’d be here right now?”

Trying to force yourself not to kick him in the shin over the nickname, you bit your retort back and thought about it for a second. He was right, you guessed. But then again, you were here, and didn’t you hate him? Now, you weren’t so sure.

“It’s just fun pranking you. I was the only interesting thing is this boring town before you came along. Still am, but you’re moving up in the ranks.” Smacking his arm lightly, you couldn't stop the half smirk that quirked up your lips. “Ha ha,” you sounded out sarcastically, turning to look back over the cliff. “You keep running your mouth Tozier, and I’ll find a way to shut you up for good.”

“Is that a promise?”

Turning back to glance at him, your mouth slightly gaped open. Taking in his impish look as he simply smiled your way, you instinctively leaned in closer to him, lowering your voice slightly as you stated, “I never break a promise.”

And it was true.

With that, you gave him the slightest little shove forward, making him tumble down to the inevitably freezing cold water below. Standing up, you dusted the dirt off your pants and smiled down at Richie as his moppy haired head sprang up from underneath the water, gasping for breath. Payback was a real bitch.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school, Rich,” you called down to him. 

Even though he flipped you off in return, the wide, laughing grin he shot your way was hard to miss.

-- tag list: @breaking-biles @ubertrashmouth @strangerthing-havehappend @wolfhard-tozier @sin3at3r @eighties-hoe @multi-parker @nicht-so-schnell @stan-the-losers-club-man @bailey-the-wise @firebreathingslytherinqueen @fearless2tobeme @winnsmills @of-outerspace @st353days @this-cute-shit-xo @hummingstan @babylovereddie @derrysdenbrough @socially-awkward-nerd @emmaamalie @catching-fire-in-the-wind @humblehanlon @noodleboyuris @beepbeeprichtozier @fightmebub @firefistnoct @kaspbrakthings @whygz @geez-richie @los-angelass @trashmouthwheelr @paranormaltozier

#little games #richie tozier #richie toizer x reader #richie x reader #finn wolfhard #it #it fanfiction #it fanfic #it fandom #it 2017 #it imagine #richie tozier imagine #finn wolfhard x reader #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #stan uris #stanley uris #bev marsh #sophia lillis #jack dylan grazer #jaeden lieberher #wyatt oleff #jeremy ray taylor #chosen jacobs

[oneshotsalligot]

The Call

Hey everyone, this is my first ever requested prompt. I didn’t include Erin because, while I lover her, she isn’t going to be in the show anymore so I thought it best to leave her out. I hope you enjoy!

Prompt: “Intelligence gets called for a hostage situation in the ED, but Will gets badly injured and Jay is worried AF while he doesn't want to admit it :p Some good old fashioned angst would be cool. Make someone die if you feel up to it. Enjoy! :)” - @monicaaaaatje

Word Count: 2063

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Chicago PD/Med characters but I definitely enjoying writing for them ;)

There was never a normal day in the intelligence unit, unlike a typical 9-5 office job Jay couldn't count on anything being 'normal.' That being said, he never expected to get The Call. You know, The Call. In movies or tv shows it the one that sets everything in motion by tearing someone's world apart.

The phone rang and Voight picked it up from his office and he was on his feet and grabbing his jacket before the unit knew anything.

"Let's go, gear up we have a hostage situation." He said.

"Where?" Atwater asked while everyone followed suit and put jackets on their backs and guns on their hips.

He hesitated and looked at Jay before responding. "Chicago med." he waited for Jay to process.

After years in the service and on the force it took a lot to shake Jay. He'd seen some truly gut wrenching things, but imagining his brother and friends at the hospital being trapped and possibly hurt, or worse, made his stomach turn. But in true Halstead fashion he kept his composure on the outside.

"What do we know?" He asked. All eyes were on him.

"Nothing yet. Just that there's someone with a gun in the ED." Voight explained. "Let's go," he added noticing everyone waiting for one of them to make a move.

Upon arrival all anyone could see in any direction was flashing lights. Police cars, police vans, ambulances, you name it.

Jay was coming out of his skin. He'd kept fairly calm but now, being here, he was starting to fall apart.

"Who's in charge?" Voight found the main command tent they had set up.  

"I am, Sergeant." Jay tuned out at his name and rank knowing Voight would be in control within a few minutes.

"What's going on? Any contact yet?" He pulled at his vest in front of him, a habit he'd picked up.

"Two phone calls one from us to them, one from them to us. We know there are 6 patients, 3 doctors and 4 nurses inside, all the people from the waiting room were able to get out. One doctor has been shot, we are unaware who or how bad." Jay's head went fuzzy for a minute. Like someone turned his brain to 11 and he couldn't handle it. White noise sloshed around his head from ear to ear and back again before Olinski's voice pulled him back.

"Halstead, Jay!" He yelled.

"I have to go in," he started pushing by everyone.

"Jay! Absolutely not," Voight grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"That's my brother in there! You want me to sit and do nothing?!" He yelled finally snapping. Voight wasn't upset, he'd expected it, hell he'd bet it would have happened sooner.

"No, I expect you to sit your ass down while we figure out what the hell's going on." He guided him back to the tent. He didn't sit. He paced. He waited for 15 excruciating minutes while everyone around him ran in circles and did next to nothing.

In those 15 minutes they had learned the man inside waving a gun around called himself Trent. Trent Williamson. After doing some digging the unit found out his wife died in the hospital 5 months ago. She had a brain tumor and refused chemo because it was already in its later stages.

"Ruzek you're going in," Voight said.

"Sarg, just le-"

"No Halstead. Take a back seat on this one." Hank interrupted the young detective.

Jay had no intention of listening. Adam took off his holster and set his gun next to it, he then unstrapped his ankle gun placed it in a line next to his 9mm.

"You ready?" Voight asked him. He nodded and they all watched as he walked past the police line with his hands in the air. Jay inched his way closer and closer to the barricades and was about to sprint in front of them when a hand caught the back of his vest.

"Don't do it. You're just going to get yourself or your someone else killed." Alvin said quietly. Jay took a deep breath and let Alvin drag him back.

"Ruzek has a microphone in his pocket, we're gonna be able to hear everything okay, I want snipers ready! Nobody takes a shot unless I give the go ahead, go it?" Voight was handing out orders left and right but Jay was just focused on hearing his brother's voice come through the speaker.

"Come on. Come on Will. Talk to me. Please." He wasn't sure if he was saying it out loud or not but he didn't care.

"Hello Mr. Williamson, can I call you Trent?" There was no shakiness in Adam's voice, he was rock solid.

"Yeah- whatever!" There was a man who was not rock solid. He sounded as unstable as they come. "Did they tell you what I want?" He hissed.

"They did, they said you wanted to see your wife."

"Her name is Anna!"

"Right, Anna, they said you wanted to see Anna. While they work on that do you think I could send these people back outside? You have me in here now, you don't need them."

"No! No! They stay! I'm not an idiot!"

"Of course not, but if you know how these things work you know I have to send somebody out there. They need some good faith from you?"

He waited to answer. They heard shuffling.

"She can leave."

"Okay, Natalie can you walk?" Adam asked.

"No," they heard a muffled voice coming from her.

"Trent, could one of them push her out on a gurney? You still have plenty of hostages here."

"Just go! Quickly!" He ushered. Then nothing. The mic quit responding and the unit was left standing in a circle wondering what the hell just happened.

"COMING OUT!" Somebody yelled. Across the barricades they saw a patient pushing Natalie out in a wheelchair. Blood was pouring out of Natalie's thigh and her entire pant leg looked sopping wet with the deep red substance.

Once they were across the line everyone swarmed the two of them. Natalie was out in an ambulance and shipped off before Jay could ask her anything but the man, the one that pushed her out was sitting in the back of an ambulance with a shock blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

Jay pushed through and interrupted what ever question he was answering.

"Tall redhead, doctor, you see him in there? Is he okay?"

"Uh, yeah," the guy sounded terrified. "He was trying to help the lady doctor. The one who got shot. He kept telling the guy to keep him and let everyone else go." He said shakily.

"God dammit," Jay mumbled. "But he was alright?"

"Yeah but I was real afraid he was gonna go hero. He was itching to tackle the guy."

"No no no," Jay had heard all he needed to.

"Hank please, you have to let me go in there. He's gonna get himself killed." He begged.

"Adam is in there, talking him down. You know how delicate this is. You need to back off before I have you removed." Voight warned. Not 10 seconds later a shot could be heard from in the hospital.

"NOBODY MOVE YET!" Voight screamed from the front of the barricades. They waited. They waited. They waited some more. Jay thought he was going to pass out. He kept picturing his brother bleeding out and screaming for help.

Finally the hospital doors flung open and people ran out. Jay pushed past the front lines and ran towards the door, the line of people stopped and his brother was yet to be seen.

He ran inside the hospital and saw Adam cuffing who he assumed to be Trent and Will sitting, propped up against a wall next to them holding his shoulder.

Officers started filling in around them but Jay made a B line to his little brother and squatted in front of him. Will looked up at him and seemed fairly unfazed by the bullet hole in his arm. He was no doubt in shock.

"What happened? Are you okay? What the fuck!?" The questions flew out of Jay's mouth.

"I got shot," Will winced.

"How?!" Jay wasn't sure how to process.

"Just relax. It's just a scratch, I'll be fine." Will waved him off and tried to stand up. It resulted in him going pale and then sliding back down the wall with Jay guiding him so that he didn't just crash.

"Can I get some fucking help over here!" Jay turned and screamed.

Immediately Will was lifted up and set on a gurney and Dawson and Brett wheeled him out.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jay asked trailing right behind them.

"Looks like it. He's just gonna be really sore. Plus he's lost a good amount of blood so he'll be out in a few minutes but he's gonna be fine Jay." Gabby answered. Jay let out the breath he'd been holding in for what seemed like years but had only been hours.

"How the hell did you get shot?" Jay asked as they set up the IV.

"Tackled 'im." Will was quiet as he said it. Partly because he was moments away from passing out and partly because he knew how his brother was going to react.

"You what?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Jay, I'm putting an oxygen mask on him. He's not gonna be able to talk." Gabby explained as Sylvie started driving to the next closest hospital as Med was currently a crime scene.

"You better hope that that was you're delusional self getting shit mixed up because if I find out you tackled a crazy guy with a gun I'm going to fucking kill you Will." Jay threatened. Will responded by passing out.

At the hospital Jay waiting in Will's room, bedside, for him to wake up. His surgery was short, they just needed to get the bullet out and stitch him up. The surgeon had assured him Will would be back to his smart ass self soon.

"He saved my life ya know?" Jay looked up, a little startled until he recognized Adam. "I had the guy talked into letting everybody out. But something happened, I'm still not sure what, but he snapped. Lost it and started screaming about how we'd all meet his wife soon. He pointed his gun at me and Will came out of nowhere and knocked him over. Before I could even respond the gun went off." Adam said.

"I'm glad you're both alive." Jay smiled lightly.

"Tell him I said thanks when he wakes up." Adam took the hint to give him some space and left. There were more visitors in the next few hours but Jay was the only one there when Will woke up.

"Hey," Jay said from his chair.

"Ugh," Will groaned.

"How ya feelin'?"

"Like shit, how do I look?" He grinned.

"Even worse." Jay smiled back. "Come on, give me a hug." Jay stood up and Will pushed himself forward a little bit and allowed Jay to wrap his arms around him. He was careful not to touch his left arm or shoulder, they were covered in the cloth from a sling.

"How's Nat?" Will asked worried.

"She fine, just got out of surgery. She's gonna be okay." He said. Will nodded letting out a deep breath.

"Adam says thanks." Jay said once he was back in his chair. He had his eyebrow quirked up to let his brother know he was pissed.

"What was I supposed to do Jay? Let the guy shoot Adam then all of us?" He sighed.

"No. Just- I don't know." He huffed. After a few moments of silence he broke. "I'm proud of you. You did what I would do. But if you ever do it again I'll kick your ass." Jay smiled lightly.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Will laughed, stopping to groan at his shoulder.  

"I'll go get your doc," Jay left the room and did what he said, he found Will's doctor and told him Will was awake but he made a stop on his way back. He found himself in the men's bathroom, crying. He hadn't cried in, in he didn't know how long. He just couldn't stop thinking about how the call could have gone so differently.

#chicago med #Chicago PD #jay halstead #will halstead #my writing #prompt #@monicaaaaatje

[ossyuche]

I’m Hotter than My Boyfriend and I Feel Like I’m Settling

I recently came across your article on what to do if you’re not super physically attracted to your boyfriend, and while I really appreciated the article, there was one thing you didn’t address–what to do if you not super attracted to them physically and are a lot more attractive than they are, but the compatibility is a 10.

My boyfriend relentlessly pursued me for a few months even after I kept telling him I wasn’t interested because he wasn’t my type. But as I got to know him, I realized he has the most incredible heart I’ve ever encountered, and understands me and treats me better than I’ve ever experienced. We started dating 7 months ago, and I’m the utter happiest I’ve ever been. He makes me laugh, takes care of me, and has even tried to take notice in styles that I like so he can dress better. I love him so much.

But as we start to talk about marriage and the future, and I KNOW our life would be wonderful and fulfilling, I can’t help but compare what he looks like to what I feel like I deserve.

I know you said a lot of people are delusional, but I am not. I would say that I am a 9 and he is around a 6, but he’s also just NOT my type so it makes it so difficult for me to feel attracted to him most days. He has lighter features, is balding, and is starting to get in shape but was previously very overweight. I want so badly to be more attracted to him.

I love him so, SO much and the thought of not moving forward towards marriage does not even compute in my brain most days because he’s my best friend in the world, but then other times I see people with the type of man I always longed for, and it aches my heart and makes me feel unsure.

What would you suggest?

Thanks so much, Justine

Summer, 2000. I’m out to dinner, in West Hollywood, with the most physically attractive woman I’ve ever dated. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months. She lives with her Mom an hour away and is currently unemployed. I’m a struggling writer with big ambitions and a desire to love and be loved. We’re lonely and dysfunctional but passionate.

As we look at the menu, we observe a Billy Joel/Christie Brinkley-type couple.

My girlfriend says “Oh, that’s just like us.”

You could hear the record scratch.

I think one of the hardest parts of life is deciding when to compromise and how much.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“Well, let’s face it, I’m a lot more attractive than you.”

I looked at her, dumbfounded.

I mean, I largely know where I stand on the looks continuum. If we’re being honest, she IS objectively more attractive than me. But really, who SAYS this stuff out loud?

Sorry, Justine, that was just my way of trying to identify with your story.

I’m not actually equating you with the worst of my ex-girlfriends.

I think one of the hardest parts of life is deciding when to compromise and how much.

I would only point out to you that you compromise on everything else without nearly as much agony.

Your job – too much work, not enough pay, long commute, glass ceiling, unappreciative bosses, annoying co-workers, lack of autonomy, too many meetings, too few vacations…

Your home – too small, too expensive, too far away from parks/malls/freeways/nature, not the best school district, high taxes, costly maintenance, no bathtub or guest room…

You get the point. Yet for some reason, we don’t really want to compromise on our spouse.

The whole point of Love U is to teach you what you should and should not compromise on so you can make a decision with the next forty years of your life that you can live with.

Listen, I don’t know you, nor your boyfriend, nor your relationship dynamic – I only know what you shared with me in a short email. So I won’t tell you what to do. I’ll ask you:

How many years did it take to find this man? “I realized he has the most incredible heart I’ve ever encountered, and understands me and treats me better than I’ve ever experienced. I’m the utter happiest I’ve ever been. He makes me laugh, takes care of me. I love him so much.”

Now calculate what would happen if you threw him back in the sea and tried to find someone JUST like him – just an 8 on your looks scale? How long do you think it would take to meet and marry that man. Well, given that you’ve NEVER done it before, it may be awhile.

And that’s the EXACT calculus I used when I was debating whether to get engaged to a woman who was 38 when I wanted to have two children. I told myself I could break up with her to try to find the 33-year-old version of her, or I could stick with what I got (because it was so hard to find) and take my chances.

11 years later, I very much made the right choice. When I look at what matters in marriage, it’s not whether my wife is hotter than others’ wives, it’s how we work as a couple.

If – despite his middling looks – he’s good, giving and game in bed, I would think long and hard about whether he’ll be that easy to replace. Chances are you can find a cuter guy, but can you find a BETTER one?

Good luck.

The post I’m Hotter than My Boyfriend and I Feel Like I’m Settling appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

Related posts:

The Blind Spot In Rori Raye’s Circular Dating

I Am Not Physically Attracted to My Boyfriend. Can We Possibly Have a Future Together?

Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover – In Defense of “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb

Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/im-hotter-than-my-boyfriend-and-i-feel-like-im-settling

from WordPress https://hotandsizzlingonline.com/im-hotter-than-my-boyfriend-and-i-feel-like-im-settling/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=im-hotter-than-my-boyfriend-and-i-feel-like-im-settling via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress