#wishing abusers harm means you're just as bad as they are

[chantiying]

Message from your inner child

Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language. How to choose? Think of something you liked when you were a child (a game, a toy, a smell, a candy, your favorite stuffed animal) and try to remember you as a kid, take a deep breath and when you're ready, you and your inner child choose the image that drawn to you. Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes. This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go

: ¨·.·¨ :

` ·. 🦋

╱|、

(˚ˎ 。7

|、˜〵

じしˍ,)ノ

TW. Direct or indirect mention of abuse, bulling, violence, familial violence, broken family among others.

Ok, let's go!!!

PILE 1

Hello my friend :) Do you remember how disastrous our childhood was? Do you remember that there were some people who hurt us? Remember when we were pushed aside from parties? Do you remember when we found out that sometimes the "love" of a couple is not two but three? Remember when we found out what infidelity meant? Come, here and close your eyes for a moment, because I want to tell you a secret but I don't want you to see me are you ready? Yes? Ok: the infidelity of our parents marked me

I know since then we don't know what it means to love or how to make a relationship work. I know it's a lot harder for you than it was for me. I know sometimes you wonder if you're loving too little or too much, I know you're scared of being harmed like mom and dad did. Do you still feel that strange feeling of isolating all noise with music or the TV on while we sit on the floor of the room begging for it all to end? I do love you, my friend :) I know it seems a little difficult, I know it seems a little hard to say and hear, I know you may not believe it because they made you doubt what it means to love someone, but, I'll let you in on another secret: I don't feel alone anymore. I've learned that sometimes we have to leave where the water overflows to build a better castle. I learned to be smarter and not to argue when it's not necessary, to stop talking where no one listens, to live with myself and with you.

Please, I know it's not easy, but I want you to start again, on your own, I want you to leave everything behind, to let the dragons (they are not bad I already talked to them and they said they are on our side) I want you to let them destroy what hurts us, and to start building your own fortress. I want to be your first beautiful relationship. I want that you love me because I love you and I will always love you. Please love me, okay? Let's be you and me (km little you, hehe) against everyone. I want to be your partner in crime and have us laugh together. I promise you that after that, we're going to smile more and forget what they did to us.

You also have to eat well, did you hear me? Oh and don't tell anyone, but, I'm craving our favorite sweet treat from when we were little, can you eat it for us?

I'm always with you, don't forget me, I'm you but in little. Oh, something else, let's pretend it's your birthday, yei ! let's be happy for today and close your eyes again and make a wish

Francis Forever Mitski, Innocent Taylor Swift. Grey, Purple, Blue. Leaves & Streets. Orange juice?, Music, Cartoons, Headphones, Magic Wand. Mulan (I'll Make a Man Out of You)

🧸🎂🎈🍫 🧸🪄🎈🍫

PILE 2

Hey!!! What's up, buddy? I am very happy, I feel that I have arrived where I needed to be, I feel that the sun has finally risen, I feel that all the changes I had to go through have now paid off. The knowledge, the peace, the beliefs, everything I needed to cultivate is bearing fruit. See? I even speak as someone cultured and intellectual 😸. At first I didn't notice it, I was incredulous, but then I started thinking and thinking and thinking, and I realized that the change started in the interior. I know, you don't have to tell me, it sounds very cheesy, it sounds silly, but, I must admit, even if it's a little embarrassing, that sometimes dreaming and being cheesy is kind of fun SO DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME 😾😹. Ok, let's be serious, mate. We went through a time where we didn't believe in anything and we didn't even know if we should believe but I kept doing it. I kept looking until I got to where I needed to and BOOM it all made sense. Our lives are going to get better, we're better now, we're brave, we're smart, we're strong, we're cool !! We still have to keep learning, we still have a long way to go, but I learned that learning is also fun. DON'T GIVE UP, OK? Ok. I know it's hard to grow, but we've always wanted this, we've never bowed down, we've never given up, we've always looked forward and we'll continue to do so

Keep in your heart the ones who help you and give you happy moments, then let's continue writing our story

No matter how many steps forward you take, whether it's one or two or a thousand, I'll always be there proud of where you've taken us and what an amazing person you've made us. I only ask you to never forget where you come from and where you are going, don't forget to be grateful, don't play with anyone's heart or time, that's not good 😾. I want you to appreciate the time and I want that, when you think that the world is against you, or that everything is going wrong, you can change it. Don't worry, I don't want you to blame yourself for everything, but I also don't want you to always blame it on others. I know sometimes it's hard, keep trying again and again, even if you're scared don't don't victimize yourself because heroes don't do that, and you and I have the prettiest cape, we have the cutest glitter and we have the best superhero story just for us, and don't be afraid, because superheroes can do anything and if we can't our superhero friends will help us 😼

Let's be great, let's be epic!

Disney, A lot of changes or currently changing something, Happiness, Beach, Comics, Sun, Summer, Ice cream, Watch, Hats, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, Hannah Montana, Vacation, Pop en español (Pop in Spanish), Extrovert, Mischievous, Spider man? Funny, Tangled (the movie)

🦸, 👨‍🚀, 🐱, 🚀

PILE 3

There are two of us, we are yourself and I, and it has always been like this ☺️, do you feel confused? Because I do, a little bit, you won't get mad if I tell you, right? You'll understand, right? I feel like everything is going so fast, I feel like I can't stop, I feel like I want to rest, I feel like when I wanted the geography or math hour to end and go out for recess to get some fresh air. why is everything going so fast? I want to understand what's going on, I want to, I really want to, but I can't. Do you no longer feel distrustful? Do you believe in other people yet? Because I don't do it yet 🥺, do we have friends yet? Or are we still alone? Are they still hurting us? Are we still unsafe? I don't want to be like that anymore, I promise you, (crying?) I want to have a lot of friends, I want to be loved, I want to play, I want to have fun, but I can't believe in others, do you? I don't want to be alone, I know I said it was you and me, and I still believe it, it's you and me against the world, but I also want us to be more against the world. I want someone to turn on the light and hold my hand, would you? I want you to hug me, talk to me, I feel like you're mad at me, at the little you from a few years ago, did I do something wrong? Do you think it was my fault that we were treated like this? Do you think it was my fault that we were disappointed? I'm a little annoyed with you too, not gonna lie. you know what? I was a kid but you have everything to change what happened to us, you pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore and that's a lie! you're still upset and scared, listen, it's ENOUGH! Do something for us. At least I'm angry but I want us to change this, I want us to be happy. I want us to be together and happy, I want us to be one, I want you to remember me, but not only the bad but the good as well, remember what we like, remember the watercolors, the music we liked, remember the sun, the window, remember the yard, remember the stories that mom/dad used to tell us. Remember Mom/Dad. Remember the puddles after the rain. Please, I'm not asking you to want to be a child again to do everything differently, I'm asking you to connect with me so that our creativity flies, so that you know where to go, so that you can start something new.

The magic is in us, accept us, what you don't want to let out, is what makes us most beautiful

You will get what you want, but don't want everything, don't be ambitious. Don't forget us, don't forget you, never forget yourself.

Sadness, Grudge, Sobbing, Poverty (both spiritual and economic), Pranks, Bullying, Grass, Secret place, 8 years? Cold, Scams, Rain, Mirror, Emojis. Monsters, inc. As a child, Madeline The Person. J's lullaby (darling I'd wait for you), Delaney bailey. All I want, Kodaline. Rises the moon, Liana Flores

ꗃ🗝₊˚⊹♡ 𓉞 . ⸙͎｡˚⋆ 𓋼

Hi guys! Sorry for the late update. To be honest I struggle being consistent in what I do, but I'm trying (no, I'm really trying) to be more consistent.

Today, is children's day in my country, so I decided to do this spread for you all, because I consider that connecting and embracing our inner child is one of the most healing things we can do. So happy Children's Day !!

Alic (Chanty) 🪽

#tarot #tarot reading #tarot asks #tarot cards #tarot tumblr #tarotblr #pick a card #tarot and astrology #tarotcommunity #pick one #pick a picture

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Literally go fuck yourself.

https://archive.ph/2019.12.27-222825/https://erinhunter.katecary.co.uk/the-blazing-star-spoiler-page/comment-page-10/%23comments for if you wanna go read this for yourself and see.

#warrior cats #warriors #tom wc #bumble wc #turtle tail #turtle tail wc #dotc #dawn of the clans #kate cary #i have no words #this actually made me sick to my stomach #why are you frothing at the mouth to defend men who abuse women #why are you insisting that abusive men should be treated fairly #why are you so aggressively insisting that they should become 'lovely' so they can maybe feel guilty #instead of any actual real punishment #no i don't want tom to get better #i want him to rot in hell and get eaten by one eye #one eye wc #remember kids #wishing abusers harm means you're just as bad as they are #wc gray wing #wc clear sky #wc bumble

[danshive]

When it comes to issues with "AI" for writing (by which I mean essentially pressing a "write" button and having it do it all for you), I think a lot of people miss them because they don't make the connection between AI and plagiarism.

I've described the main way to avoid plagiarizing as knowing a subject well enough to put it into your own words.

One of the most common ways people try to hide plagiarism is to directly quote something without credit, but change words here and there. It can be comically transparent when compared side-by-side.

What we're calling "AI" literally cannot know or understand a subject. It's taking whatever its saying from somewhere, and changing words around depending on prompts.

The person giving the prompt is essentially outsourcing the plagiarism to an automated system.

What's more, since the AI literally can't understand the subject, it will potentially repeat misconceptions, mistakes, or rephrase things in ways that simply make them wrong.

It can't know it's making a mistake. It can only "know" that what's being written is within an acceptable threshold of what words a person might string together given its data.

Given that the person is using AI instead of just writing it themselves, it's also probable that the person's knowledge is lacking, and won't be able to recognize or correct these mistakes.

It's a mess of plagiarism and potential misinformation, is what I'm saying, which is particularly bad if someone is "writing" non-fiction.

I don't wish harm on people, but I do hope people face consequences for selling non-fiction misinformation generated by AI. It's genuinely dangerous.

Like, if you're going to abuse AI, at least stick to fiction. We can disagree on publishing such things for profit, but at least it's not giving someone dangerously incorrect electrician instructions or something.

#dan shive says stuff #ai nonsense #plagiarism

[nothorses]

You 100% don't have to answer this, especially if talking about this could harm you. I was just wondering if you had any tips or thoughts about dealing with the trauma of Tumblr abuse campaigns that the people who did the harassing claimed was righteous. They usually start with callout posts. Years later and I am still traumatized, have nightmares, and my disabilities have worsened because of the abuse.

I think the best thing that I did for myself was set a couple of boundaries around exposure to it, at the advise of @vaspider: I decided I wasn't going to look at tags or blogs that I knew I'd find more of those posts in, and I asked people to stop sending me updates as well.

Just removing exposure did a lot for me. I still do have moments where I "break" and go look in my tags, but a) not for at least 6 months, b) I felt I was not going to be impacted the same way, and c) I was and am always wrong, and I stop myself before getting very far because of that.

Block people liberally. Block them for saying shit that hurts you, and block them for being annoying. It's not an act of violence, it's not mean or cruel or whatever; just curate your experience. And don't allow people access to you who intend to do you harm.

Beyond that... take a break. If you have a piece you feel you still need to say, type it up somewhere else, wait a day or two, post it if you still feel you need to, and make that the last time you talk about it.

Focus on, and nurture, real-life hobbies and relationships. Interact with people and things that have no connection to these events. Not because online relationships aren't "real", but because your social life being public is genuinely, inherently unhealthy. You should not have to worry about the worst possible interpretations of everything you do or say all the time; find people who love you and trust you, and spend time with them. Privately. Exist in a space where you feel loved and worth loving; trusted and worth trusting; and where you don't feel the need to apologize for, or defend, everything you do or say.

Most importantly, cultivate a trust in yourself. Trust that you are always trying, and trust that mistakes are just mistakes. Trust that people who trust you will see the best interpretations of your words and actions, even if you realize later how they "might have come off".

Let feelings go, if you can. Letting go of the hurt doesn't mean it never happened, and you never felt that way; you're just allowing yourself to move on, to find peace, and to remove the power they had over you. Living in panic and hurt will only make the panic and the hurt worse.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry it was that bad. You're not alone. You can heal. I wish you all the best 💙

#harassment

[hoxooster]

On the DesBea situation:

I would've added my thoughts to the original post, but as I am not a part of their Discord server, I didn't think that that was any bit appropriate. However, I wanted to share some of my own personal experiences with her, so that y'all can see that her behavior in their server is a continuing pattern--I don't have pictures of what she said as proof, sadly, but I will explain why.

I'm also gonna slap this under a Read More. I apologize for its length, but the original callout post should be enough of an explanation as to why this post needs to be as long as it is.

And, as a quick aside, if any of you wish to completely block DesBea, NOT HARASS HER OR FEED INTO HER BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY, be aware that her usernames are:

commence-screaming

des-paa-cee-toeee

pd3thoughts

If any of you know of any more, please tell me, and I will update this post. I don't want to be around her anymore than most people who've also interacted with her do.

About 2 years ago, I was invited to lilspacewolfie's server, Red's Ramblers, and I very quickly became a moderator there. Over time some people joined and a few left, but Ramblers remained stable through it all. DesBea joined later on into the server's lifespan, was around for awhile, said some nasty things, was given a warning (in the general), and just left without saying anything one day. After reading the screenshots in the callout post, I'm actually quite surprised by how much of a fit she threw in her efforts to make you guys apologize to her. Much like in the original post, with her gone from the server, things improved for everyone else, but the whole ordeal was rather confusing for all of us, in the aftermath.

See, DesBea was trying to be just as harmful in Ramblers, but it never really went anywhere.

Her hateful and self-pitying tendencies were the same around us as it was in their server. She really loved to talk shit about Yadoking and her writing--she would do this both in passing on random posts in the server, and while some of us were in-call when we'd play Payday 2 together as a group. It never smacked of genuine criticism for Yado's writing ability or style, as she only ever used childish language when doing it, and she would always do it right before she would try to push her own ideas and fics onto any of us who were online at the time. She was even trying to bully lilspacewolfie--which I will go more into later--over the tiniest of things. DesBea, in all of her posts, was either pushing someone else down, trying to make us all read about her rather disturbing fic ideas or headcanons, or trying to make herself look like the victim by claiming that she 'had bad experiences with abuse in the past' and that her 'PTSD was triggered over something someone in Ramblers had said' when we were trying to halt her bullshit.

It was all very aggravating to deal with, to say the least, but it also didn't have very much staying power, since most of us were just ignoring her in the server. And I do mean that, as most of the users in the Ramblers Discord server refused to interact with her posts over time, and people usually ignored her whenever she tried to insert herself into their conversations. It's probably why she left without much of a fight when lilspacewolfie posted "If you're being an asshole in this server, you better stop that shit right now" in the general chat. (That's not what she said, but y'all get the jist.)

Now, as for her bullying behavior in the server, I can't say for certain if she was targeting anyone besides lilspacewolfie (and badmouthing Yado from time to time, who wasn't even in the server), as I'm not a very outgoing or talkative individual. Despite the length of this post, I'm naturally quite taciturn, and even though I was a moderator in Ramblers, nobody in the server ever messaged me about any issues that they were having with anyone. But, I can say with accuracy that DesBea would go out of her way to harass lilspacewolfie--the creator and owner of the Red's Ramblers Discord server. Whenever she would join calls while we were playing together (but she was just watching from the server), she would only ever type in the voice chat channel, where she would wax poetic about her own fics and get rather offended that 'lilspacewolfie was intentionally ignoring her'. If we were playing a game of Payday 2 with her, DesBea would intentionally follow lilspacewolfie around as a character that she didn't particularly care for and spam callouts to scare and irritate her. And, when another user in the server was having an issue that caused them a lot of distress and made them go quiet for awhile (which had nothing to do with anyone or anything in Ramblers, when they were asked about it), DesBea tried to blame lilspacewolfie for it based on a lighthearted joke that she had made that dogged on Houston. So, not only was she trying to harass lilspacewolfie, but she was actively trying to turn others in the server against the owner of the Discord, as if she could muscle her out by making her out to be a villain.

Over a joke about a FICTIONAL character.

Because she started insinuating that lilspacewolfie had caused another user to 'go into a depressive spiral, and chased them away from the server with her insensitive comments about Houston', I got involved to shut that shit down. DesBea was always weirdly attached to me, because she had DM'd me a few times on Tumblr in the past. I can only guess that she thought that these few smatterings of messages made me her friend, and since, apparently, some people here think of me as being "Mr. John Payday", she figured that she could use me as an intimidating wall to hide behind whenever she was called out on her bullshit.

She was wrong.

After a while of still trying to get others in the server to hate lilspacewolfie for 'being mean to one of the other users in the server'--who ended up coming back once their mental health had improved, by the way--she finally left after the "Stop being a dick" post, and it took us a couple days to notice. So, all-in-all, it was a very weird and irritating experience, but, in this context, it shows a worrying trend of behavior that she ended up spreading to other servers.

Now, like I kind of glossed over earlier, I WAS a moderator in Red's Ramblers. (I ended up leaving the server last month due to personal reasons that're not germane to this situation, and I have no desire to talk about it on this forum.) As I was still a mod before I left, I took the time to delete every post and reaction made by people who were no longer in the server--this amounted to 7 people, DesBea included. So, all of her posts that I could've screencapped as evidence are gone, and even if they were still there, I wouldn't have access to them anymore, anyway. In fact, the only thing that I have left is this picture I took of my response to her whole "You're a bad person for hating Houston" spiel that she was going on and on about:

(I censored this to give some privacy to the person who DesBea tried to use as a cudgel to smack lilspacewolfie with blame for their condition at the time. Even though most people here probably won't recognize them from their in-server nickname, I didn't want to take any chances.)

But, anyway, as you have read from the callout post and these personal anecdotes that I have provided, her behavior in their server was an unsurprising, but also a very worrying trend that has effected at least 2 Discord servers and a good chunk of some of the people who were or still are in the Payday fandom.

If anything that y'all have read over these posts has angered any of y'all to the point of harassing her, PLEASE DON'T. Don't send her hate--anonymously or not. Don't engage with her. Just block her and make sure that others in the fandom are aware of her behavior, so they can avoid her if they wish to as well.

And, again, please tell me if she's operating under any usernames other than the ones I've listed. I was tired of her bullshit a long time ago, and I have no desire to entertain her further under yet another pseudonym.

#PAYDAY 2 #PD2 #PAYDAY 3 #PD3 #fandom drama #long post warning

[chaifootsteps]

curious question - are the 'it's wrong to want bad things to happen to Valentino' crowd applying the same logic everywhere?

I ask because (for those who watch both hh & hb) I've seen a consistent pattern of violence being wished on Stella and (occasionally) Blitzo (no prizes for guessing what the thing these two characters have in common that has got fans wishing violence on them)

I mean wasn't there like a whole comic on the hb subreddit awhile back of Stolas slapping Stella across the face? (not to mention the not so hidden undertone of misogny in fanfics where Stolas & Blitzo have a fun old time calling her every name for 'bimbo' -or worse - under the sun) And a comment or two about how good it would be to see Stolas commit domestic violence/kidnapping/whatever else against Blitzo because he apparently deserves it?

and yet when the character is Valentino, who is written as a rapist and abuser on purpose (by which I mean Viv meant to do it, whereas it's anyone's guess if she realized Stolas was also that in HB or if she decided it didn't count the same as Valentino as far back as Murder Family given the very next episode was devoted to making Stolas sympathetic even if he was still allowed to be flawed at that point in time) suddenly parts of the fanbase is insisting it's wrong to hate him or want to see him gone?

I'm sure this is just a thing specific to this fandom, I doubt they do this w/other shows because it feels so clearly a result of Viv (and maybe Raph, idk) making such a point of how much they like Valentino. in any other scenario it would be understood that hating this character is the intended audience reaction and that fiction is a safe and cathartic means of wanting to watch that moth demon get squashed for everything he's done

They're most definitely not applying the same logic everywhere. By their logic, it's not only perfectly fine, but a person's moral duty to wish harm on both characters like Stella (or else you're a disgusting abuse apologist) and real people they don't like (Idolomantises, me). But when it's a character they like...well, you see where we are.

Hypocrisy doesn't even begin to cover it. Their logic literally changes by the minute.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #vivziepop fandom

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I am going to say it loud for everyone in the RPC here, including folks in the back I've noticed are missing these very important notes. Majority of callouts are inherently BIASED and rooted in a personal opinion of the person(s) who started it. Callouts that have unrelated "evidence" from years ago tacked on, with claims that cannot be proven to be the truth at current day, should NOT be trusted.

Callouts that have only one piece of "evidence" as to why the person(s) dislike their target should NOT be trusted. Callouts with "evidence" of the target already being riled up from hate and harassment from the person(s) making the callout should NOT be trusted. Callouts that encourage any sort of targeted hate and harassment on the chosen target should be a sign to instead AVOID and BLOCK the PEOPLE DOING/ENCOURAGING THE CALLOUT.

Callouts that have any wording about wishing HARM to the target should BE REPORTED TO TUMBLR SUPPORT. Even if the harm is trying to get the target to delete or leave the site. This is proof the people making the callout are acting with planned harassment, and it is against the ToS for the site! All too often there are a lot of callouts that circulate the RPC that I spot that are just rooted in someone's personal beef with another user. They decide to make a post or preference of someone else a personal issue and try to validate their attack on that target. This is toxic behaviour on the part of the people making the "callout"!

They ostracize and try to get others to torment them for them. They send anon hate until that avenue is cut off, and encourage others to do most of the dirty work of this cyberbullying. They're just abusing their following and reach to hurt someone they disagree with because they decided to twist something that wasn't directed at them at all into a personal act. All to justify tormenting that target. Cyberbullying is a criminal offense, and if pushed too far people who make these callouts will discover they are not so anonymous. The targets, the true victims of the actual harassment, in those callouts if pushed too far may seek help from police and legally. Keep pushing them and you might find yourself arrested and facing expensive criminal charges for your actions against them. This has always been a reality and very often comes true.

The RPC activities are meant to be a hobby. Getting bent out of shape over what someone posts that you don't agree with to the point you decide to start harassing them rather than just blocking them is not okay. Stalking them after they block you so you can gather "evidence" is not okay. Helping someone stalk someone who blocked them is not okay. Making a callout to try and get others to join in your harassment of someone you should have just blocked and walked away from is not okay. The victim may have made a bad a post, said a thing you don't like, but that does NOT give you the right to claim they're harassing you when YOU DECIDED to go in for a PUNCH FIRST.

Having people helping you cyberbully that person means you're the problem. People who make these sorts of callouts are NOT the victim. They're the bully/threat/problem. If you don't like what you see on someone else's blog that the thought crosses your mind to harass them first, to make a negative comment, or throw shade about them on anon: BLOCK THEM, MOVE ON AND DO NOT STALK THEM.

Do not vague about them. Do not make a callout about them. Do not get your friends involved in your hate about them. People fuck up and make mistakes all the time, it's part of being human. If you can't approach someone politely to address a concern about something they posted, in a civil way, leave them be and move on with your life.

Don't be an asshole and resort to cyberbullying to ruin their fun through a callout rooted in your personal beef. Don't make that personal issue everyone else's problem to join in on. Don't try to claim anything they react or say AFTER being HARASSED by YOU and your friends directly is evidence of them being such a bad person. JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE. They have likely blocked you and your friends bullying them and clearly want nothing to do with you. Take that hint to move on, leave them alone and carry on with whatever you want to do. Life is too short to be trying to ruin someone else's fun so fervently, especially when they want you and your friends to stay well away from them.

#callouts #confessions

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Hello, you don't know me but this will sit with me if I don't say something.

I had a conversation with you a long while ago about Billy Hargrove and the racism he perpetuated and you continued to sweep it under the rug because he's an abuse survivor.

I'm extremely sensitive to that, I am; but the way you continued to down play the hurt that I, a black person, felt from his actions truly hurt and and really made me re-examine the Stranger Things fandom.

I've moved on and healed, but I just hope that you've taken the time to learn that someone's trauma doesn't negate the trauma they can inflict on someone else. I was personally a Billy Hargrove apologist myself but when I stepped away from the fandom, I stepped away from him to.

You don't need to respond, I'm not expecting you to; I just hope that you've been able to learn, and if not, I hope this can get you to consider it.

You claim I don't know you, so how could I have ever had a conversation with you about Billy Hargrove's racism?

I did have a conversation with someone in my messages about Billy Hargrove, and I'd be happy to share any of those messages with anyone as I don't feel that at any point I defended his racist behavior. If you're that person, then there's no way that I don't know you, and if you're that person then you are being purposefully disingenuous in this ask.

You approached me. You were disturbed because I was talking about a character you don't like. I was talking about that character as an abuse survivor who watched a fandom say vile things about them as an abuse victim. I'm extremely sensitive to the way people accuse an abuse victim of things that they didn't canonically do and/or make it seem like a teenager who said and did bad things is beyond the ability of redemption or saving. Yet. You don't care about that, do you? Do I go into your ask box and say, "Gee, I wish you would give more of a shit about the horrible things people say about him day in and day out"?

No, because I don't think about you. At all.

If you don't care about him as a survivor, then there's no convincing you. All I wanted at the time was for people to stop saying and doing things within that fandom space that were harmful and triggering to survivors. Survivors and victims of abuse don't have to be "good" people or "earn" basic human decency when people talk about them as survivors. You can feel however you want about them. You can hate them as people. I don't give a shit. Clearly, because I'm not in your ask box obsessing over things you said to me in messages last year.

I think it's very entitled and obsessive of you to continually approach me about this if you are indeed the person I talked to. I am not the one responsible for your feelings and it's not my job to hate what characters you want me to hate or provide an exhaustive list of disclaimers whenever discussing a "problematic" character. These are fictional characters. People are allowed to have complex feelings about them and you need to get it through your head that treating a character as complex does not mean condoning their behavior.

You know that I don't think that a person's trauma negates what they've done wrong because I told you that, if we in fact had a conversation about him. I don't think you were ever a "billy apologist" if you are that person, and if you are that person then you were more upset I didn't talk about how much of a "terrible" person he was to his sister. If you are not that person, then we never had a conversation about him.

Either way, you are lying and disturbing my day for no reason.

Edit:

If this is you, then I'll be happy to post any part of our conversation publicly. I've said my piece to you, though, and I have no interest in continuing our conversation.

If it's not you, then why are you claiming we had a conversation but that I "don't know you"?

#asks #billy hargrove #fandom wank #the brain rot in the st fandom is unbelievable

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is, while knowing that plenty of persecutors are not bad, wishing people stopped claiming all persecutors are secretly good and misguided. It really sucks to see people say it's abusive to gatekeep persecutors from the front when those persecutors refuse to accept help or change and like to cause problems for us and our relationships

We ourselves have to keep one persecutor from fronting by themself because of we let her front alone it's very likely we would not be here after

Persecutors are people, and deserve to be treated as such.

But people are also sometimes just assholes and you're allowed to hate them.

I myself am a persecutor, and I'm the host. I have bad habits that make me a persecutor.

We have persecutors who are introjects of our intrusive thoughts. They cause a lot of harm to us mentally, and I will admit I hate some of them

I don't hate them because they're persecutors, I hate them because they're mean to me and I don't like putting up with that shit

Trying to help them is good. But it's not going to be possible for every system. How a system deals with they're more aggressive persecutors is up to them, and they don't deserve hate for doing what's going to keep them safest

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is

[eisforeidolon]

I am not sure how long you have been in the SPN fandom (I have only been in it for 3 years) but I was wondering has the infighting about which J is actually the better one always been a thing? I sometimes see some fans really hating on them for what seems like very petty reasons and projecting all kinds of jealously, codependence, and envious behavior especially onto Jensen. I love Jared but the way some Jared fans act like Jensen has or had some creepy obsession with him makes me wonder if this is something that has always been around or manifested more after the prequel situation.

It's been around 11 years for me, being properly in the fandom. I binged the series just in time to catch the start of season 8 airing real-time, and came to tumblr when I realized fanfic was not going to scratch the itch of sharing speculation about what would happen next. So far as I'm aware, from personal observation and seeing people who've been around longer talking about the what the fandom was like? It's always been a thing to some extent, but the extent has varied a lot depending on when and what part of the fandom you're in.

The extreme Jensen stans - generally called Ackles Army (AAs) - have always been upfront and loud about hating Jared over anything and everything - almost literally to the point of insisting he's breathing wrong. They overlap a lot with hellers because of a generally shared desire to get Jared off SPN and away from Jensen, convinced he was in the way/holding Jensen back/throwing jealous tantrums to control Jensen and the show/whatthefuckever.

While some extreme Jared stans didn't bother to hide, a lot of them insisted they were totally fans of both prior to prequelgate and maybe some were - to an extent. For the most part they could blend in, because most of the time? Jensen and Jared were in pretty synchronous agreement - doing publicity together, agreeing the brother bond was the center of the show, not really doing a lot of other projects, etc. But over time, long before prequelgate, well it just always so happened that if either J got solo attention or there was some perceived difference? According to these supposed bibros, Jared was not capable of even considering making a bad decision ever, while nearly everything Jensen did alone was somehow embarrassing or suspect and supposedly reflected badly on him. They didn't necessarily want Jensen to go away, just know his place as the cheerleading subordinate. Of course now that Jensen and Jared are doing separate projects and attention for Jensen does not automatically mean attention to Jared, with the handy kickoff of prequelgate to claim extra totes legit justification over that misunderstanding they sorted out in a single phone call ... well, here we are.

By and large the AAs/hellers have always been more extreme - in terms of sheer quantity of assholes openly wishing not just failure but actual harm on Jared and sending death threats to him and other fans. But in terms of petty back and forth bullshit dragging the actors, these days they openly do a lot of the exact same nonsense: J is ugly! J is an alcoholic/druggie! J is a complete failure post-SPN! J is abusive to fave!J! J is obviously jealous of fave!J/trying to sabotage fave!J! J only did X because fave!J did Y so much better! Only fave!J was essential to the show, it was his character's story!

Both sides are constantly justifying themselves with the ol' OMG THEY STARTED IT! nonsense. Sure, the self-serving justifications differ just a little where the Jensen stans pretend to be amnesiac and blind to the really gross and reprehensible shit sent directly to Jared and basically everything the real Jensen says, while the Jared stans insist no one should object to anything they say because at least it's not wishing death on anybody (despite how much they lose their shit over even the petty nonsense when it's being directed at Jared). As if it's not obviously a constant back and forth of copycat stupid that has everything to do with each side trying to "prove" their personal superiority in being fans of The Better J by talking shit on the internet.

#askboxery #anonymous #anti actor stans

[trans-axolotl]

i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #trans #okay to reblog #again i dont want you all to feel like im shitting only on trans people #but this is the shit im experiecning in trans community in very particular ways #i could also make a long post with all the htings i hate about cis people and their intersexist stuff #but they don't follow me on tumblr lmao so what's the point. #also cis intersex people i kind of dont want u to jump onto this post #bc half of you all are transphobic in a way that im like i dont trust u

[matan4il]

Would I have viewed the finale differently if I didn't know it could have been the last? It still would have sucked and I would have been bummed. Outside of the Buddie of it I don't know why they couldn't let one of them stay single. Especially the pandering way they did it.

As someone who chooses not to be in a relationship, I wish they would have normalized it. I was a bit of an oopsie to older parents and the very youngest to many siblings. As a result, I have taken care of them and a lot of nieces and nephews. But I love it!! It allowed me to go to school longer and get my dream job. I get to vacation when I want. Everyone knows I will be the one to take the kids on their first trip abroad. I love my life. It's a blend of selflessness and selfishness, and there have been people like me forever. I have always seen shades of that in Eddie and Buck. I don't see the need to force either to be in a relationship or even make them seem lonely. Either way, I still wouldn't have liked it because it was done poorly, I especially didn't understand the "why Marisol." It was lazy writing and unfulfilled at best.

Also, one other small thing. I do identify with them a bit also because it's like the butterfly effect. Maybe they would be completely different people if Eddie hadn't knocked up Shannon and Bucks' parents' cared. Maybe I would be different if I was first born instead of last? And that's OK to think, but also ok to still love the life you have now..

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask and sorry it's taken me a bit to reply, I wish real life wasn't as intense... but I hope you're doing good! *hug*

I agree with you so much, not wanting to be in a r/s at any cost should be normalized. I'm SO happy for you, to hear that you have a good life and that you're enjoying it to the fullest!

I believe that having a family (a romantic partner, kids) has a different meaning to each person. I'm the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, so what family is to me was very much shaped by what they taught me. To my grandparents, the family that they built was the ultimate victory over the hatred that tried to exterminate all of us Jews. Passing along their identity, their heritage, their values, as well as the memory of those relatives who had been murdered in the Holocaust, it was all a part of this triumph. That's on top of the significance of continuity through family in Judaism in general.

So I come from a very specific background, and even I recognize that what family means to me isn't a universal thing. Which is why it's very annoying to see that TV and movies often treat the subject as if there is only one way to be happy, and that is to find a romantic partner. Many times, it's tied to having kids as well, but almost always it's about settling with a life partner. And I think it's a harmful message, this idea of "one size fits all." More than that, I believe in certain cases it's so pervasive that some people try to stick it out in bad r/s, even abusive ones, due to the idea that it's better than to be alone. When it clearly is not!

That's why Eddie breaking up with Ana simply over the fact that he wasn't happy was so important, realizing that if his happiness was elsewhere, it's okay to walk away, that was so important. Like I said in this ask reply, they can still turn the storyline with Marisol (and for that matter, Natalia) into something poignant about Eddie (and Buck's) journey. What upsets me is the thought they might have actually wanted to leave it there, in that place where Buddie seem to be dating women just for the sake of dating once more.

Hope you have a great day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

#ask #anti eddieana #anti eddiemarisol #anti bucknatalia #buddie #911meta #911 on abc #911 abc #buddie meta #911 meta #911abc #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911onabc #911 #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #anon ask

[anti-ao3]

Saw a media literacy essay on youtube and it had a bunch of proshippers in the comments talking about how all antis lack media literacy and sorry for coming here to complain it just grinds my gears when these people throw around the terms purity culture and media literacy. Like I would understand if they weren't trying to sexualize kids and abuse, but some of them were just straight up saying to doxx people. And then theres shit like the jaws effect and a bunch of research but I guess thats toooooooo elitist! (Sarcasm.) I dunno I just wish people would take maybe a few minutes to think about what they're reading and why it was written and why they're reading it but maybe thats just too much to ask

No need to apologize! Feel free to send asks like these when you want to!

Yeah, usually people who defend fiction this much are those who aren't affected negatively by propaganda, which is literally everywhere, even in children's media. I hate that these people are so against any sort of criticism that they call minorities "conservatives" or "puritans". In fact I absolutely hate that proshitters compare themselves to actual marginalized groups because they're being told that liking pedophilic/incestuous/abusive/racist ships is bad (I will never forget the time someone took a poem about the Holocaust and made it about fandom shit).

Honestly, yeah, I think one of the main problems about proshitters is that they refuse to be critical of their favorite media. They equal it to "censorship" when it just really means "hey maybe acknowledge the harmful concepts in this work". Nobody is saying you're not allowed to engage with anything, but you have to listen to minorities when they point out issues with your favorite media. Especially when they've been doing that for decades at this point (like when it comes to H/arry P/otter, and yet the fans still refuse to listen).

#asks #holocaust mention tw #proshits are also so hypocritical for being against harassment #and then they're sending death threats to minors #or doxxing them like you said #most proshits are grown adults for that matter

[ghost-of-a-slave]

" radqueers are all super privileged assholes "

meanwhile most radqueers do have trauma . meanwhile most radqueers are disabled . meanwhile a lot of radqueers are bodily poc .

im radqueer , bodily disabled and bodily poc as well as severely traumatized . am i suddenly not a minority or oppressed or actively struggling because im radqueer ?? why is your support of minorities so conditioned ?? the moment someone doesn't fit into a little box you shame them and say they have everything you've ever wanted like no , if you were me you would still be miserable .

The thing is I genuinely do not have the capacity to believe any of what you've said given everything that the community is founded upon.

Are you actually traumatized or are you "trans trauma" and had a perfect life and never got hurt? I'd rather have never experienced what I did. Yet your community encourages people to not only pretend to experience what I did (trafficking) but also encourages purposefully endangering yourself and trying to GET PEOPLE ABUSED. On the flip side are you someone who actually experienced something as extreme as I did or the same situation or are you "trans severity" of your trauma because you have refused to do any of the work that is necessary to get over your own insecurities and accept that you can come away with the same kind of horrific fucked up mental state as people who go through a variety of things and by speaking over real survivors of specific areas not only are you doing self-harm (emotional) but you are ruining the chances of real survivors getting help and aid. I am sick and tired of having to placate people who come crawling to me for validation that their trauma is actually that bad or throwing a tantrum because I have it worse than them and they cannot handle it. I do not understand people who are that fucking annoying and weird. Guess what? I know many people who have it worse than me- sometimes I feel like things should have been even worse- sometimes I wish my scars were more clear or bigger or worse, but that isn't healthy that's a trauma reaction that needs to be worked through because NO I'm still a victim and a survivor of horrific things. I would never be so evil and cruel as to pretend I went through the things they did and lie about my actual trauma (which transtrauma people do).

Are you actually disabled or are you "transabled" ? and not in the BIID sense because those with BIID are super valid and matter a lot (and are also by definition actually really disabled with a neurological condition. And I also am for those with BIID being able to have amputations if needed as all the data and science shows that it improves life quality and makes them happier and able to go about their life better). Because if you're actually disabled then yeah your disabilities matter and you should be able to be given aid for them but your own ableism because of whatever internalized issues you have going on is now externalized when you join a far right extremist group which let's be clear is what "radqueer" is. You deserve to not have people mocking your disability and just because you're fine with ableism doesn't mean all of us are or have to be. The majority of radqueers however are not actually disabled or at least have a series of disabilities they pretend to have to make fun of people with those disabilities or because they think it's funny/cool. Example; people with "transASPD" are a fucking laughable joke because it's honestly incredibly funny to see them try super hard to be like me and others and have the fucking weird mental detachments and inability to feel guilt aside from the persons who are your "exceptions" and just being a piece of shit asshole because they're incapable of understanding how REAL sociopaths operate and how we can easily function in society and keep ourselves from doing harm because of ya know- self control.

Are you actually POC or are you "transrace" ? Because let's be clear so many radqueers are super fucking white and are larping as POC because they want brownie points or want to be allowed to say slurs. Those are literally the only reasons outside of real mixed people having internalized issues about their own race or actual POC dealing with the consequences of racism so horribly that they feel like they have to be white or they don't matter. This by default is racist- like it is literally just the bullshit "I don't see color" race is a social concept sure but it's based off of REAL immutable characteristics. If your fucking people were not genocided you will NEVER understand what it's like to be Native American and you doing shit like redface only makes things worse. I have no idea why you struggle to understand blackface is bad it's actually very fucking concerning you can even pretend you're not just a reactionary who's no different from the Jan 6thers.

I don't know if I can believe any radqueer who claims minority status because your community is based on making fun of real minorities and larping as us. It's based on racism, antisemitism, ableism, and queerphobia. That's why you fuckers have shit like "trans nazi" and use that to allow again LITERAL NAZIS into your community. Get fucking real you're a bigot and it's pathetic you pretend otherwise.

"why is your support of minorities so conditioned" because a) I don't believe that the majority of you chucklefucks are actual minorities so this doesn't apply and b) bigots aren't deserving of rights or anything similar and that applies even to self-hating minorities who advocate for harm to minorities :)

I don't care about fucking idpol, if you're causing tangible harm to the majority of minorities (which radqueers do via nazi bullshit) then you're just as bad the cishet white men doing the exact same. Like I'm sorry you think your racist ass is better because you have minority points or something?

And sure if I was you I'd be miserable because I was a bigot and bigots are miserable. But you could just no longer be like that if you stopped being a bad person maybe.

#racism tw #ableism tw #anti radqueer #radqueers fuck off #radqueers dni #radqueers you are literally all fucking bigotted alt-righters who would kill minorities given the chance #like literally just look at what Oli-london did. He's your poster boy- going alt-right and pushing anti-trans activism #if you are able to spend most of your day pretending to be more of a minority than you are without consequences you're privileged.

[ministrationz]

i don't know what azula anti needs to hear this, but absolutely NO ONE who is worth listening to is seriously making the argument that azula hasn't done anything wrong, or that she's been the perfect child. what we are saying is that azula was a VICTIM of her fathers abuse and mistreatment by her mother, and that it heavily impacted her actions. yes ursa was in a bad situation, yes she was being abused by ozai, and yes she had very little personal liberties, but no matter how you spin it, that's no excuse to treat azula less favourably than zuko, nor is it an excuse to make azula feel unloved. the opinion that ursa can do no wrong and did no wrong to her children because she was abused is out of touch with the reality of what it's like to grow up in an abusive household. abuse is unfortunately a cycle and leads to EVERYONE in the household being negatively affected. this does not mean that anyone asides from the abuser is blameless for harm being done to children in the household.

azula understands that ursa was in a bad situation. she knows that her father was abusive. we see this in azula in the spirit temple. that does not, however mean that azula could not have been negatively affected by her mother's actions. azula was not born evil. she's a traumatized teenage girl with NO support system. she was left alone with her monster of a father from a young age and had to internalize all her struggles to survive. of course she can't manage relationships, and doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms. she has been groomed into being at her father's every beck and call. ursa treating azula differently from zuko and making her feel unloved from a young age, whether it was intentional or not, definitely made these issues exceptionally worse. when you have no one around you who genuinely makes you feel loved, and when the one person in your family that should have made you feel loved leaves, you're going to turn to the only source of it you can find (ozai, in this case), even if it means you act poorly or put yourself/others at risk.

ursa's parenting left azula traumatized, and i genuinely do think the reason many of you cannot understand that ursa did, in fact, make many mistakes is either because you are looking at ursa through the biased perspective we got in the show, or because you simply have not been in these circumstances in the past. abusive households are toxic to everyone. just because one parent is abusing everyone in the household, does not mean the other parent can't inflict harm, either. that doesn't make them any less of a victim, but it doesn't negate the devastating lifelong effects their behavior will have on their children.

was ursa in a good position to be a good parent? no. her situation is absolutely heartbreaking and i wish she had gotten to live an easier life. it is completely reasonable for her to struggle with parenting properly. you can't expect someone to take the best care of their children when they're in a terrible situation. does that excuse the impact she had on azula? no! not at all. while it's important to acknowledge how ursa's abuse influenced her behavior, ursa was not a good mother to azula and that is an objective fact. how do you see azula's breakdown at the end of the show, or her breakdown in The Search, or her visions in Azula in the Spirit Temple, and still think there was no issue with ursa's parenting? no child with a healthy relationship with their parents grows up with these feelings, let alone starts HALLUCINATING their parent haunting them. i won't even go into ursa forgetting her children and having kiyi because i think it's just absolutely ludicrous and completely inexcusable.

so many of the arguments against azula are textbook victim blaming. yes, azula conquering the earth kingdom and trying to kill people on behalf of her father was WRONG. no one thinks it wasn't! however, EVERYONE that should have helped azula FAILED HER. she is a product of her horrendous environment, and not acknowledging this while you grant a character like zuko, who unlike azula had people around him to support him, the benefit of the doubt when he acts out negatively for the EXACT SAME REASON without hesitation speaks for itself. no one is saying azula is a good person. no one is saying azula should not have been held responsible for her actions. what we're saying is that she is a person, not some evil caricature you can use to express whatever internalized biases you have. she has depth and should be treated as such. she is not some bogeyman you can levy your most heinous accusations towards.

on that note, please stop calling azula anything on the lines of psychotic, psychopath, sociopath, etc. you are showing how ignorant you are on mental health issues when you use these terms in this context.

#azula #tw abuse #ursa #as someone who grew up in a severely abusive household a lot of the takes i've been seeing make me feel like i'm losing my mind

[thesovereignsring-if]

You keep saying power fantasy this power fantasy that but no one gives a fuck about any power fantasy, no one's asking you to make the mc all powerful blah blah blah people are asking you to make them competent and tot a doormat, look at that that scene with the general or whatever the mc come across as a little whiny bitch, and why does the shit Erik's been through becomes mc's problem? You're making excuses for a bully because that's all he is, you expect people to feel sorry for an asshole bully? Stop twisting my words I'm not asking for a power fantasy but i guess you see what you want to see

The previous ask so poorly worded anyone would have interpreted the original intent differently, anon.

The power fantasy still applies. It’s the power of wish fulfillment, of dominance to win all your battles or to beat the bad guy. So when I say it’s not a power fantasy, I mean it. The game is a lot about disempowerment and loosing scenarios, of the strong trampling the weak and winning. It’s reflection of how the system crushes those beneath it so the ruling class can rule above the rest.

There’s some nuance.

In Eirik’s confrontation, the MC has the ability the snap back but the physical disempowerment is still there because the MC is mentally and physically exhausted and simply smaller. That wasn’t the issue in the previous ask. It was the lack of empathy for Eirik’s situation and framing it in a different angle so readers can ask different questions removed from the MC pov, but you didn’t get it…again. I didn’t excuse his actions, I never did, and your right, it isn’t the MC’s problem, but Eirik needed a way to find and get control back when he felt he wasn’t getting any or wasn’t being heard. The MC was an easy target for him (the only target honestly) and that’s all it takes in the real world. To have empathy for one’s situation does not mean to condone the wrongdoing. In this case, Eirik can both be a victim and the abuser of a power.

Now the General, is also mad and upset and I’ve already wrote all the reasons why he’s upset and lashes out at the MC. It’s a loosing battle because he points out all the MC flaws (which aren’t even flaws, since they are mostly a result of the MC’s circumstance of birth and the Empress’s love for them), but also warns them of the expectations of those in the Empire who see the MC as an investment. The way he does is pathetic and petty, but he does it because he knows he’s protected by his title and station, and the mere fact that the Vagnyr faction lost the civil war. Anything the MC says or does against him would make themselves look bad and/or harming their own reputation. He got them in an ambush a very specific manner and if even if agreed, he’d laugh in their face and think they’re spineless, the General would have preferred if the MC remained resilient in the face adversity. Finny’s Father was there as well, and even he couldn’t snap back when he was being insulted because of the hidden power dynamic between different factions within the Empire. It’s a loosing battle for him as well because Bellerophyn exists at a higher station of power to both him and MC, regardless of their status of both and station. Bellerophyn has a level of power that even the Empress cannot confront without causing strife in the Empire. The general protects the border, is highly respected in her council and he’s really really good at his job. He uses that to his advantage when he lashes out. He knows he can get away with a lot with impunity.

But you read all that as ‘Excuse’, which is fair, but that doesn’t mean anything I’ve said is false either. An excuse is just a reason or explanation of an offense after all.

It’s upsetting, it’s disempowering and that’s exactly how I want it to be. Sometimes, you cant win battles no matter what you do. And I hope you realize this doesn’t just apply to the MC, anon. A lot of the cast struggle with the power imbalance in the story and some get it even worse than the MC. A small portion of is already there, it’s just written in the subtext. That way, when the time comes the MC might be able to relate with them.

If you can’t tolerate that, it won’t get any better for a bit or a while. Chapter 1 isn’t even done yet and honestly, the MC has a few more Ls to take before things get better for them. They are very much the underdog. No matter how strong and capable they are, there was ways to disempower them, make them feel less than and insignificant in the grander scheme of things. I love it because it can bring out the best or the worse things from the MC. If you don’t like it, if you can only see what’s there at the surface level then, like I said, the rest of the game is going to be unhappy and frustrating for you.

#answered asks #tsr