#why cant people be nice to each other jfc

[thehiddenhermit]

It seems my friend group has gotten smaller

#why cant people be nice to each other jfc #February 15 2024 #Personal

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

[arthurpendragonsass]

i just finished 3x08 and im gonna unload my silly little incoherent thoughts here. spolier alert ig?

gwaine is one sexy motherfucker. like. sir. please let me play with your long soft locks and feed you grapes while you sweet-talk to me in that deep voice of yours.

i dont understand how morgana turned so evil so suddenly. like i know she was gone for a year, and no doubt morgause would've brainwashed her, but... her hate is still directed at uther and merlin but yk he's just a servant, right? and arthur and gwen have been nothing but nice to her. how can she come live again with those angels and not have her new beliefs sway from time to time? how can she become so heartless as to use gwen, one of the people she was closest to, to get to arthur? idk man i dont understand morgana rn.

uther,,, god EVERYTHING is HIS fault why isnt he dead yet i want to fucking stab him everytime he shows up

arwen is just,,, nah. arthur's failed attempt at heterosexuality. 🎶so many nights i thought it over, told myself i kind of liked her, but there was something missing in her eyes🎶 they're cute individually, god knows i love them but do they fit together? not so much imo

also, guinevere, my darling, what are you doing? i thought you loved dear lancelot? you told him you haven't stopped thinking about him but as soon as he left you're pining after arthur? and i already know you still love him and are gonna choose him over arthur so why are you doing this to my sweet himbo. babe please make up your mind😔

arthur is such a dollophead lmao he does think he's so smart doesn't he? i mean sire you have your talents but brains aren't one of them. just listen to merlin please <3

merlin. oh my sweet precious baby merlin🥺 he's so wonderful. he's making so many mistakes but honestly, i cant blame him? he's so young and just trying his best to keep himself and his beloved clotpole alive. and uther. whY. why merlin he murdered children why dont you just let that scum of the earth die why dont you do it yourself and if its him you want to protect why didn't you let morgana die like you'd already poisoned her. its not like you're friends anymore??

also, i know everyone loves to talk about how lonely arthur must be blah blah blah. but. merlin. he's so fucking lonely too. like when morgana was dying and everyone was sad? arthur had gwen and merlin, and gwen had arthur and merlin. even uther had arthur not that I care about that bastard. who did merlin have? no one! not really. only gauis, and no offense to him but merlin deserves so, so much more. god id have sold an arm to just hug him in that ep. i love him sm i hate to see him like this :(

and now, my two darlings, the himbo prince and his feral magical manservant. the way they look at each other. fucking hell. arthur doesn't look at gwen like that. i dont know if that's bradley or arthur but damn. that boi is in love. and merlin went from "anyone but him" to "gods. him." he really would do anything for arthur wont he :') even if the lohl is trying to pretend to be a h*t. he's so supportive and wise. and the way he smiled at arthur when arthur came back to consciousness after the encounter with the wyverns. jfc arthur never had a chance lmao.

#you thought i went to bed? #HA! #anyway this is dumb #was gonna post it two days back but forgot #bbc merlin

[danwylds]

Ocean at the end of the lane au (but you don’t have to read the book)

Once again I’m writing bullet point fics

If you haven’t read the book uh. this shit is wild

It starts with Neil going to his childhood hometown (I guess Baltimore then? Not really a lotta places here for this story to take place tho) for a funeral

I literally don’t care who died

He’s walking around town, just thinking abt his life growing up and being angry

He deserves to be

Anyways he remembers the one good thing about growing up here, and it’s Andrew Minyard, the boy who said the pond behind his house was really an ocean

Neil thinks about him and finds himself at the minyards house

He kinda looks around, realising that maybe he shouldn’t of showed up randomly

But it doesn’t matter, bc Nicky Hemmick sees him

He and Nicky walk together to the pond and it’s nice

Neil starts thinking about the time a man who worked for his father stole Nathan’s car and committed suicide in the back seat, after gambling away Nathan’s money

He was around 15 or so during that time

I’m pulling number out of my ass rn

but hdbcnndjd it lets a spirit show up to neils world like hey,, how y’all doin?

Because of the reason the man died, it’s purpose is to leave money for people in terrible and unpleasant ways

This leads Neil to wake up in the middle of the night, choking on a coin

if I were Neil I would simply lay down and die

rip to him but I’m different

Anyways he doesn’t trust his father for shit so he goes to his neighbors

It’s Andrew baby!

Andrew is like okay but I’m gonna call you a dumbass this whole time and you have to come w me to find this fucked up spirit and bind it

And also you can’t let go of my hand

They both hate that part

Drake still happened, just earlier

And Nicky took in the twins earlier

Ig nicky is older in this au

whatever

ANWAYS.

They talk on the way, exchanging quiet truths

It starts from what the spirit did and ends in neil asking why Andrew and Aaron live with Nicky

Andrew says that monsters aren’t always supernatural

Neil doesn’t ask anything after that

They’re goin to find this shit spirit when something almost attacks the 2

Neils first instinct is to be defensive so he lets go of Andrews hand

As soon as he does something gets stuck in his foot and Andrew is like I don’t even care at this point

They don’t have any luck ig so they’re like whatever we’ll try again later (or never talk to each other again)

Neil gets home and pulls what might be a worm out of his foot

rip to him bc part of it gets stuck

He wakes up the next day to his mom telling him she’s starting a new job and a woman named Lola is gonna look after him

So Lola is

yeah she’s Lola she’s a bitch

Lola seduces his father and wins over his people

Neil spends most of his time locked in his room avoiding her

What small fraction of safety Neil felt is ruined when Lola asks Nathan to drown him in the bath

It doesn’t work, obviously

also yeah that’s a real point in the book I didn’t just make that up

Anyways ndncjdm he stays in his room even more, only coming out when it’s some sort of fancy event or smth he has to show up for

He decides to do what he does best

He runs

He runs to the minyard/Hemmick farm, and Nicky takes him in and cleans up the scratches and bruises he has

Nicky also gets the wormhole out of Neils foot

Apparently Lola left it behind as an escape path

This book is weird as hell jfc

Nicky calls Andrew to help neil try and talk something out with Lola

They offer her a way for her to leave peacefully, to a less dangerous world

She doesn’t believe anything could hurt her

She’s IMMEDIATELY attacked by “hunger birds” who are basically scavengers

The hunger birds tell neil they gotta eat his heart out bc a piece of Lola is still connected to him

Andrew is like well cant let the only kid who hasn’t stepped over my boundaries die

He drags Neil to the ocean and tells him to get in

While in there, Neil understands the everything about the world and humans and nature and emotion

He gets out and the memory of it all dips

Andrew makes a promise to protect Neil from the hunger birds, telling him the farm is safe and it’s all very soft

haha get fucked you two bc the hunger birds start eating the world to force him off the property

Neil does leave the property, giving himself to the hunger birds to save Nicky and the twins from them

Andrew does NOT let this slide and jumps between the birds and Neil

He’s near death by the end, and when Nicky finds out he goes batshit and threatens the hunger birds with death that’s a very real possibility for them !

The three take Andrew to the ocean and place him there, and Aaron tells him that he’ll rest and heal until he can come back to this world

Neils memory of this fades, leading him to believe Andrew moved to Australia

He jolts back to the present when Nicky puts his hand on his shoulder, smiling sadly at him

Nicky hints that the hunger birds got his heart after all, but Andrews sacrifice healed him

The power of love, as they say

His heart has been growing back for a while now, it’s almost healed

Again, he begins to forget

He tells Nicky to say hello to Andrew if he contacts from Australia

#aftg #andrew minyard #all for the game #neil josten #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #tfc #the foxhole court #this stupid fucking post took three days I never wanna look at it again

[cinnaminsvga]

In the past I've asked for how your characters would react to their counterparts across your smaus. It's time for the new version: Who would win in a fight if you put your characters against their smau counterparts (so all Y/Ns against each other, all Yoongis against each other and so on)??? You can choose to include/exclude whoever you want and take as long as you want in replying or even choose not to lol

HAJDHAJSD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER IM SORRY but i do get super excited whenever you send me one of these, so i wanna get this right!! i think i’m only gonna include the last three smaus (tddup, 300mdh, lib) bc i dont think i could even handle imagining what it would be like to have six seokjins... that’s some forbidden knowledge right there 😳

seokjin - jfc where do i even begin... for all my old followers, yall know that i just love writing seokjin as unhinged and chaotic as possible so you can only guess how terrible it would be if three of him were to fight. ok tbh 300mdh!jin would definitely win bc?? hes a fucking spy?? but i could somehow see tddup!jin finding a way to fight back,,, idk he could probs trick zeus!kook to help him by promising him some miku merch or smth,, LMAO and lib!jin is just there,,, smartly avoiding the conflict and streaming it on twitch or smth

yoongi - oh my boy,,, tddup!yoongi is absolutely frying lib!yoongi’s ass for not confessing his feelings HDKWJDKWK as hades, he’s probs gone thru his own fair share of heartbreaks (haha OOP spoiler alert for a prequel series maybe??) and he’d honestly be so so sad for lib!yoongi but also just frustrated?? he’d be frustrated with 300mdh!yoongi too tbh bc that dude has repressed feelings for mr kim seokjin that he still hasnt figured out yet,,, tldr yoongi smites the other two yoongis but then comforts them afterwards inside his cavernous ass ❤️

hoseok - sorry but 300mdh!seok is winning no cap,,, tho OKAY i havent revealed yet why, but he’s actually a pretty harmless guy,,, (ignoring the fact that hes a double spy and HAS killed people in the past... uhhh) but yea he’d just pretend to be a really nice guy and get along well with the other two hoseoks,,, tddup!seok is an idiot and probs wouldnt even notice anything off about him, but lib!seok might have a gut feeling that somethings wrong,,, this is actually a really strange trio and idk how it would turn out exactly,,, definitely some sus things going on,,, lol

namjoon - well, tddup!joon is currently a turtle so you bet your ass that lib!joon is keeping him as a pet LMAOOOO my dude would unknowingly keep tddup!joon until he somehow magically returns to being a human. 300mdh!joon is a bit harder to pin down, since it all depends on whether he’s drunk or not LMAO bc if he was drunk, you’d bet your ass that he’d be a fucking dramatic/emotional mess and would wax poetic about turtle joon and lib!joon would have to comfort him. if he was sober, he’d just be a “regular” guy, or however regular a spy can be. overall, they’d hang out altogether just fine,,, like a couple of nerds,,,

jimin - well, you all know how tddup!jimin is like and that bitch is hornier than all my smau jimins combined. he’s so ferally horny that lib!jimin would probs shit himself, though i’d imagine 300mdh!jimin could maybe handle him a little better.... somewhat. they might even get along after a while, though i have a standing theory that all my smau!jimins hate each other no matter what, like that popular clique of girls you have in high school. they all pretend to be friend with each other, but they would not hesitate to stab a bitch if and when provoked. fun times!

taehyung - in contrast with jimin, i feel like all my taehyungs would have a good time together, no matter what au (okay, maybe except for looh!tae but thats a whole different story lmao). i think tddup!tae would get along super well with 300mdh!tae, mostly bc theyre both incredibly chaotic and have a kinda “go with the flow as long as we’re having fun” vibe. lib!tae is just maybe a little more “calm” than them, but he’s always down to clown. tddup!tae would probs bonk lib!tae on the head tho once he finds out about what he did to lib!oc, but other than that... i think they’d all be good buddies. 

jungkook - oh boy where do i even start... i feel like tddup!kook, despite how absolutely stupid he is, he’s still... somewhat morally sound?? i guess?? like he loves his wife a lot (#1 oc simp lets get it) so he’d probs be so angry and frustrated with what lib!kook did. might even hit him with a lightning bolt if we’re being honest. 300mdh!kook would agree and beat the shit out of lib!kook, and then he’d bond with zeus!kook over weeb shit and they’d become the best bros ever. but then zeus!kook will say some,,, weird kinky shit and break the mood so then 300mdh!kook + tddup!oc will have to tie him up so he never speaks again,,, they’d certainly be a very wild trio,,, maybe even worse than the seokjins and that’s saying something!!

oc - OHHH MY GOD like fr but tddup!oc is gonna baby lib!oc so much you have no idea ;-; she’ll see how badly her heart got broken by her version of jungkook and probs offer to kill lib!kook, but sweet lib!oc would protect him even after all she’s been thru,,, i see tddup!oc as being a great older sister figure for lib!oc and tbh i stan!! and uhh... we all know how 300mdh!oc is... she’s also an older sister figure, but demented and insane. okay, so she’s maybe more like your crazy aunt that smokes too much crack but you know what? you cant hate her so shes just kinda there and sometimes she’ll say something super profound and is genuinely a loving person (deep deep down... like you have dig deep lol) but otherwise yea!! all the love for my ocs,,, they’re my babies and i love them so so much :-((((

#textau4 #textau5 #textau6 #AHSJDKJSKDJAS these are always fun i love em #best #runningtospringday #answered

[spadesinglasses]

Love Victor (series)

oooh new format for this post let’s get into itttt.

Below are my reaction per episode. I will be writing them as i finish each so its more clear and fresh and all that jazz.

Let’s see if tumblr posts has a word count limit.

lol wrong title earlier X_X

Note, the #glassthoughts tags is a reaction tag. Its never a review, or an intellectual essay about stuff I watch. I dont have the capacity to do all those.

Spoilers below so beware. Episode 1 is posted separately because I intend to make posts for the first and last epsiode only but that did not work out lol.

EPISODE 2

it took me a looong time to finish this episode. I kept on pausing it because something just feels so wrong about it. I didn’t know what it was when i was going through it, but when it finally ended it finally clicked.

The episode reminds me of the sentiment most homophobes use against gay people. “If you focus on the emotional part of the relationship, you will be happy with the opposite sex.” Growing up ive heard this phrase used against other people so much. Hearing it in my native language has always been a punch in the gut. 

And now this show who is supposed to be something happy and nice, is just having this kind of phrase of mentality just well up there.

I’m sure that its not Victor’s and that he is just exploring his sexuality. But the usual tinge of homophobia whenever he talks that he might be like Simon is honestly grating.

It’s definitely a me issue because other people seem to be enjoying the series immensely, but whenever Victor gets into that headspace, I just hear my child self crying myself to sleep because of internal homophobia.

Also i can see why people say  that for a show that is supposed be about Victor’s sexuality and growth, it does sure show a heck lot of heterosexuality of those who are around him.

Maybe in the future i will rewatch the series again with a more patient mind, but for now, expect me to skip a lot of scenes X_X

End

Episode 3

Okay the audacity of Victor saying “he tries” to be a good friend. Like dang okay chill with the lies. You’re already lying about your sexuality lmao.

Sorry im being very critical and bitter about this show, but i must persevere for the fanfics and fanarts i will gorge myself into later.

anywho reaction time!

Mia and Victor would’ve been cute if only Victor doesn’t sound like he keeps on enforcing this compulsory heterosexuality he has in mind.  BUT hey he might be Bi people! 

I keep censoring myself because of how bitter and hateful i sound. My apologies for the phrases i forgot to delete above and beyond this line xD.

Anyways im over anything about Andrew. He can go fuck his egotistical self. If the series will show 

Hmm i wonder if the term “Comp Het” will even drop in this series.

Back to reaction,

Honestly Felix is just a lesbian in a man’s body at this point. Making his own shampoo? Like wow give me some of that kind of friend. 

The number of times I rolled my eyes at Andrew is ridiculous. 

Whilst typing this part it was more enforced in my mind that Love Victor is just a “supposedly gayer” Teen Wolf without the wolfing parts.

Lake is Lydia Felix is Stiles Andrew is a walmart Jackson Benji is basically a less grumpy Derek or Danny tbh Victor is Scott

I really hate this idea now.

The parents drama! Honestly, very unnecessary in my opinion. Victor is already dealing with a religious family, now he has to deal with a religious and broken family? Like dang they could’ve just chosen one struggle for him, now everyone will think his sexuality is a consequence for his parents’ sin or sth.

Maybe it’ll play into a bigger plot twist in the future?

Maybe Victor’s mom is cheating with Mia’s father? Seeing as how there was an unnecessary shot of her father with the back of a woman facing on the camera which is weird but okay. 

Im theorizing now X_X

Anyways have y’all seen how poor Felix was so nervous because his goddamn friend isn’t there to supposedly help him?

Sorry im hating on Victor too much but this scene reminds me of how awful Simon’s friends are and like bruuuh is Felix supposed to be the lead character?

He really is like Stiles who is supposed to be the lead for Teen Wolf in my opinion, he’s just a much better written character that Sc/tt

lmao sorry my issues with other series is bleeding into this one X_X

End

Episode 4

Not much to say without getting too salty so moving onnn.

End

Episode 5

This series is just showing all the fear and pain i went through and am going through back when I was a teenager and til now. Without getting into any personal stuff, that last bs Victor’s father spewed just hit me so much.

I guess one of the reasons why its hard for me to watch Love Victor is because it shows me the teenager side of me way back when. Minus the girlfriend one because i never really persevered that much to tamper any likes for men. Internal homophobia really hit me back then tho xD

End

Episode 6

This episode is a mess and I hate it.

We saw yet again Victor literally using Felix’s ignorance and naivety to get himself out of a situation he put himself into. 

AND Felix even got the wrong idea or got fed with the wrong idea that the reason why Victor brought him along is to act as a buffer because he wasn’t ready to give up being a virgin or have sex in general. Yep that is definitely the reason, no other reason at all that involves making latte art with a known barista.

Lake and Felix kissed so there was that. I still am shipping Victor and Felix together despite Victor’s continuous bs with him being a good friend, but that’s just me.

And totally knew Andrew and Mia got a thing. If this blew up and hurt Lake im suing.

Lake and Felix are literally the two people keeping this show intact. Not gonna drop some political statement here no sir.

Again Benji needs to grow a personality out of this whole barista thing. One thing i am grateful for this show is that there was no family drama at all!

I think.

End

Episode 7

UGHHH MISS ME WITH THAT NORMAL TALK.

Ive been making a conscious effort to stop saying that heterosexuality is normal. That shit is hard to unlearn because its what ive always heard in my asian household for yeaaaaaaars. And now this twink is just gonna throw the term around like he has no issues with it. TO SIMON EVEN.

Like brooooooh. Im over my 2010 internal homophobia, no need to dig it all up again. Every episode.

Aww the dancing in different clothes is cute but,

FUCKING VICTOR LIED JUST FOR WHAT?

Homeboy be doing the most to keep his fucking sexuality from bursting out, with his foot both planted firmly inside the closer AND THEN THE NEXT SECOND would end up as if he is ready to risk it all just to see Benji naked.

I AM FUCKING livid, confused, and just intense emotion everywhere.

Ive seen a couple of dumbo scenes from other shows that got the “closeted” man be doing literally the most obvious shit that could make anyone catch them, BUT THIS, with how VEHEMENT Victor is against being “NOT NORMAL” AND THEN LIE JUST TO STAY IN A MOTEL WITH THE GLORIFIED HOT GUY, takes the goddamn cake.

The fucking hypocrisy man. Ive battled internal homophobia before, AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE ALL DEAL WITH IT DIFFERENTLY but holy fucksticks. I’m not this evil.

The thing is, there is so much a person could do that you could go “ah its because they are in the closet and is afraid to come out” before it goes to the territory of “fucking hell, this is not just about his sexuality, this is just him now doing stuff consciously to take advantage of his supposed fear”. The girlfriend thing is even waaay over the top, but we all went with it because he’s supposed to be figuring things out. BUT most of the time, he literally could not even imagine going beyond the line HE CREATED for their relationship. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT HE WILL LIE JUST TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH A GUY? Now he wants to test the male side of his sexuality? BECAUSE PORN DOESN’T EXIST?  BECAUSE LOOKING AT MALE UNDERWEAR MODELS IN THE UNDERWEAR SECTION IS NOT ENOUGH? HE NEEDS IT TO BE ACTUALLY PHYSICAL TO CONFIRM SOMETHING?

Im ahead too much, real time the scene im in the episode is still them about to leave the shop but holy fucking hell. If this lie ended up becoming something more in this same episode, expect more capslock because jfc.

And people will still claim he’s somewhat attracted to the other gender. 

AND SOMETHING DID HAPPENED. ANDREW AND MIA KISSED

FUCKIN VICTOR

Also i was very very worried that Pilar and Felix will be a thing BUT THANK GOD THAT DIDN’T BECOME A THING. Still unsure whether i like Lake and Felix together, but i love them individually.

I cant really comment on any of the parents drama because to be honest i skip them whenever its just her and him.

These two fuckers lie to one another. BECAUSE OF WHAT? THEY WANT TO FUCKIN STICK THEIR TONGUES INTO ONE ANOTHERS MOUTH? IS THIS REALLY WHERE THIS SHOW IS GOING? AND THEY ALMOST CENSORED IT BECAUSE ITS GAY? NOT THE OTHER HORRIBLE STUFF THAT IS HAPPENING?

Im tired.

But i hafta finish the show for fanarts and fanfics.

okay Benji has a legitimate reason for lying. I’ll take that.

See people you see me live writing this whole rant thing :D.

BOY TOOK MONTHS KISSING MIA FOR MIA TO ONLY SAY THEIR TONGUES GRAZE SOMETIMES.

bUT THE SAME GUY JUST WENT LAPLAPAN TO THE MAX WITH BENJI THE ONE NIGHT THEY SPENT TOGETHER?

REALLY PEOPLE? REALLY?

Huh I wonder back when I was his age, would I also just kiss the first gay guy i became comfortable with? Despite being so into the closet and battling internal homophobia via punching the walls?

Dang that monologue tho. We as non het doesn’t want our lives to be hard. But at this point, i stopped blaiming my own sexuality and just started blaming heterosexuals for making the world this fucking horrible for us. That’s when my internal homophobia SLOWLY lessen. It’s still there but hey at least every crosshair  is not on me.

Okay i get people saying that Simon is irresponsible for making Victor like put his family on the back burner for a bit etc etc. Also the reaction against Benji getting mad when Victor wanted them to stop being gay while in their house, is reasonable. Victor did calmly told Benji and his beau that his family is stretched thin etc etc. I get that. I get that sometimes hiding your sexuality for other people is what is necessary.

BUT  fucking please recognize how damaging that is to the person you are talking to. Even if you think Victor is in the 100% right about this, AT THE VERY LEAST acknowledge why Benji is mad. Sure he could’ve just left with his boyfriend instead of just staying there. And sure Victor pulled through in the end and put that dusty grandpa motherfucker to his place, but that’ll fucking sting okay.

Also i might be saying all this in a place where I’m not really that close to ANY of my relatives, so ya know, call me ignorant or ungrateful whatever.

END

Episode 8

Okay uhh Mia and Andrew is still a thing APPARENTLY.

AWW BRAM IS CUTE

Lol Simon’s “Yay boobs” like please Victor keep the heterosexual drama out of this chatroom lmao.

Also Felix group texting the others is hilarioussss.

If Victor touches or says one bad thing at Bram? its on sight.

Also Im not sure what to feel with Mia getting jealous at Andrew. Like girl you were the one who said he’s nothing, and now this? Issa bad look honey.

Victor is embarassing. Are all extroverts just this i dunno peppy? 

You know what makes me happy in this episode? Keiynan’s attitude bleeding out to Bram’s character. I love it!

Goddd Keiynan is so hot XD

hahahaha this episode is lighter thank god.

“why would they want to help a complete stranger” because they are good people and surprisingly they still exist! 

Ohhh So it seems like Nick Robinson filmed his scenes for this episode on a different day. Ive never seen him be with the main group. That’s weird.

END

Episode 9

Benji distancing himself because he wants to make his 1 year relationship work? Good guy! Him not saying to his boyfriend about the coworker of his kissing him? Bad move.

Sure we can all talk about how little stuff doesn’t need to be told to your lover if you’re sure its not gonna happen again. The thing is,  communication is key. Y’all will talk about communication being integral in a relationship but keep shit like this in the DL because yOU’RE JUST THAT SURE IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN? Fo real?

Also Benji is feeling guilty for a reason.

Vincent is very in the wrong for kissing a taken man just because said taken man is comfortable with him or showed vulnerability. Victor is in the wrong 100% and I’ll never forget that.

Felix and that hug with Victor is adorableeee. Love that coming out scene. Again raising my eyebrows at those who say Victor is Bi.

Felix showing what’s in his apartment is fucking great. No wonder we don’t see his mom or anything. They say that the saddest people are always the one who will do their best to keep everyone happy. Felix is being peppy, have these random phrases he use to just amuse people makes sense.

In this household, we protect Felix no matter what. HOPEFULLY next season we get to fucking know his surname or sth.

Again nothing new with the drama surrounding the parents. I hate them and honestly i am so annoyed by the father’s face and everything. (still have that hatred from One day at  time but we don’t talk about that here)

The letter is stupid and i wonder what Pilar will do about it. Are we gonna get a To All the boys i loved before thing?

OH Felix giving Lake an ultimatum. Wow what a move honestly. On one hand Felix has the right to protect himself. He wants to be free with who he loves, and keeping it a secret stopped being amusing because he knew what it feels like to hide a part of yourself.

Lake’s confidence has been obviously shot and damaged by her mother. Not saying that justifies what she is doing  BUT it came from somewhere. A night with Felix talking to her about his life IS NOT going to just uproot all those thoughts from her mind. As much as i love Felix, he is not a solution.

hmm what else. The father can go die for all i care. Lmao.

END

Episode 10

OH I THOUGHT PILAR KNOWS NOW BUT NOOOO

OH NOOO O NO NO NOOO

AND ANDREW STIRRING SHIT UP NOOOOOO

PILAR STOOOOP

NOO NOT PUBLICLY

OMFG

 I CANNOT.

Also i cannot get over Andrew’s actor looking like Stromae. They have the same eyes, eyebrows and expressions X_X

THIS IS WHY WE DONT KEEP SHIT BEFORE A PUBLIC EVENT. IT ALWAYS EXPLODES ON A PUBLIC EVENT.

YOU BET YOUR ass i skipped the whole confrontation scene. I’ll go back to it maybe or just look at gifs but nope. My cancer rising and moon can’t handle that shit.

Is ... is Mia going to see Victor and Benji together and then theorize? Because god freaking damnit im tired of that plot twist.

Oh Benji. Honey honey honey please don’t do whatever I think you’re about to do.

FUCKING NEW IT. CALLED IT. CALLED ITITTTT MIA FUCKIGN SAW I HATE VERYTHING.

....

wait the way the ending was shot is weird. The cliffhanger is weird. Everything is weird.

ILL MAKE A HUNCH that it was actually just Victor in his dream land thinking that coming out is that easy and that you just blurt it out.

Bet you the next season will start with no body but Felix and Mia and Andrew know about his sexuality.

The shot was too much on Victor. There was no sound cue from the family etc etc.  I hate the ending so much. Love Victor could’ve been so much more. Could’ve pioneered a fresh way to show lgbt stories and how coming out is this and that. Even if the show is for Gen Z and this generation, coming out should reflect to how coming out is generally perceived nowadays. But i guess that was too much. Foolish me for having my expectations waay too high.

The End

#Glass thoughts #love victor #love victor spoilers #this exhausted #me

[scatterpatter]

yknow im gonna expand on my angelXdemon rant from last night

FUCKIN GIVE ME VARIETY PEOPLE WHILE THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE STEREOTYPICAL “hunky demon X blue-eyed blonde twink cinnamon roll angel” FORMAT, ITS SOOOOO BORING THAT ITS THE ONLY TYPE I EVER REALLY SEE

GIVE ME POWER BALANCES- WHY IS THE DEMON ALWAYS STRONG AND POWERFUL BUT THE ANGEL IS A SMOL DEFENSELESS FRAGILE LIL THING? IT’S AN ANGEL, ANGELS ARE NOT BABY KITTENS THEY’RE FUCKING WARRIORS- GIVE ME AN ANGEL WHO CAN FIGHT AND STAND UP FOR THEMSELF- LET THEIR POWER BALANCE OUT WITH THE DEMON

GIVE ME DIVERSITY! GENDER FOR THE MOST PART IVE SEEN PRETTY CHILL LIKE THERES A FAIR BIT OF F/F AND M/M EVEN THO M/F IS THE MOST COMMON- ID LIKE SOME MORE GENDER NEUTRAL SHIT REPRESENTED THO(LIKE ANGELS TECHNICALLY SHOULDNT HAVE GENDER AS THEYRE CREATED NOT BORN, SO GIVE ME MORE NB/AGENDER/GNC REP!) GIVE ME BLACK ANGELS- GIVE ME CHUBBY ANGELS AND DEMONS- HELL MIX IT UP AND MAKE THE ANGEL THE HUNK AND THE DEMON THE TWINK I DONT CARE BUT DO SOMETHING- MAKE AN ANGEL THAT ISNT JUST A BLUE EYED BLONDE! MAKE ANGELS AND DEMONS WITH SCARS/BIRTHMARKS/STRETCHMARKS/ETC! GIVE ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM THE NORM

MIX UP THE PERSONALITIES! MAKE THE ANGEL ARROGANT OR FULL OF THEMSELF, MAKE THE DEMON ACTUALLY KIND, MAKE THE DEMON SMART AND CALCULATIVE KINDA LIKE A BLOODSUCKING LAWYER, MAKE THE ANGEL HAVE A NO-TOLERANCE-FOR-BULLSHIT PERSONALITY, MAKE THE ANGEL RECKLESS, MAKE EITHER OR BOTH OF THEM HAVE ANXIETY OVER INTERACTING WITH HUMANKIND DUE TO NOT UNDERSTANDING HUMANITY, IDK FAM GIVE ME SOMETHING

MAKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP- LIKE- ACTUALLY HEALTHY? GOD EVERYTHING I SEE IS JUST “ooo the bad bad demon seduces the angel into sin it’s soooo bad~” LIKE S N O R E, IT CAN SOMETIMES WORK BUT LIKE C’MON IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT? MAKE THE ANGEL TEACH THE DEMON ABOUT KINDNESS, MAKE THE DEMON TEACH THE ANGEL TO LET LOOSE AND HAVE FUN! HAVE THEM COMPROMISE AND FIND A MIDDLE GROUND WITH EACH OTHER! TEACH THE ANGEL TO BE LESS JUDGMENTAL ON THOSE WHO SIN, TEACH THE DEMON TO LOVE OTHERS AND TO NOT ALWAYS EXPLOIT PEOPLE WHO ARE WEAK AND VULNERABLE! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE ME WANNA ROOT FOR THEM OTHER THAN “uuu the sin is so Hawt” LIKE UGHHHH

MAKE THEM A FUCKIN COUPLE JFC- SURE ITS NICE TO HAVE THE DEMON SEDUCING THE ANGEL AND THEY KISS AND MAYBE GET NAUGHTY IF YOU WANNA GO THAT FAR BUT LIKE... COME OONNNNNNN GIVE ME MORE- IF THEY’RE AN OTP THEN MAKE THEM AN OTP- HAVE THEM FLY TOGETHER! GO ON SILLY DATES! SNEAK THE ANGEL THROUGH HELL- SNEAK THE DEMON THROUGH HEAVEN- HAVE THEM DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS HUMANS AND RUN AROUND ON THE MORTAL PLANE BEING CUTE AND DOING COUPLE THINGS! HAVE SHENANIGANS AT RESTAURANTS AND SHIT- MAYBE THE ANGEL LIKES SWEETS AND THE DEMON CANT HANDLE HOW SICKENINGLY SWEET THE DESSERT IS- MAYBE THE DEMON LIKES SUPER SPICY FOOD AND THE ANGEL TRIES IT AND STARTS CRYING BECAUSE THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE SPICE- IDK MAN GIVE MY A N Y T H I N G

*INHALES*

GIVE ME SOCIETAL IMPLICATIONS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. IS IT ROMEO AND JULIET? IS IT COMMON FOR ANGELS AND DEMONS TO DATE? IS THIS THE FIRST THEY’VE EVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS? HOW WOULD THE ANGELS REACT? HOW WOULD THE DEMONS REACT? WOULD THEY TRY TO SPLIT THE OTP APART? WOULD THE ANGEL FACE BANISHMENT AND BECOMING A FALLEN ANGEL? MAYBE THE ANGEL AND/OR DEMON LOVES TO FLY AND WOULD RISK HAVING THEIR WINGS TAKEN! MAYBE THEY RISK BEING TURNED MORTAL AND HAVE TO WORRY OVER GROWING OLD AND DYING! HOW WOULD YOUR OTP HANDLE THESE?

LIKE C’MON LOOK AT ALL THAT SHITE I LISTED OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD WHY CAN’T ANYONE ELSE MAKE THEIR OTP MORE INTERESTING LIKE IT’S ANGELS AND DEMONS THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL THAT’S W A S T E D

#this is my hanahaki rant all over again #demon x angel #angel x demon

[rhodesmystery]

what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely

HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?

this got long so under the cut

they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school

natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places. 

this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley

second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.

third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly

OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.

except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.

sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.

they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.

seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol

same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.

theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that. 

i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol

and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.

in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.

early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.

natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.

idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.

in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)

in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed. 

they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development. 

DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH

also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY

#*replies #*natasha #hphm #charlie weasley #LONG POST #SORRY #Anonymous

[hesthekingofsomewhere]

Yet Another Chatfic pt 5

part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4

this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!

please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!

Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat

Queens of New York

8:15

santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive

DJacobs: Yeet!

SJ420: yeet

richbitch: yeet

Spot8365631: yeet

respecs: yeet

albiehadalittlelamb: yeet

WhereforeArtThou: yeet

noteventhatshort: yeet

SJ420: wheres finchy boy?

littlebirdie: still at their apt

littlebirdie: oh right

littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York

PM with albiehadalittlelamb

santagay: al, finch slept over

albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?

santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room

santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.

albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened

PM with littlebirdie

albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?

littlebirdie: …

albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII

littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?

albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me

albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me

littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…

albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan

albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?

littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating

albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same

littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH

littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation

albiehadalittlebird: exactly!

littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong

Queens of New York

respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york

inyourFACEtrack: well you see…

inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017

inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly

noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses

respecs: thats beautiful

respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq

santagay: well if you think about it, its both

richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?

crispycrutch: i think  we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo

santagay: oh god i forgot about that

SJ420: does he even count as a straight?

inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…

santagay: true, speaking of which

santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again

respecs: noted?

SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao

santagay: it worked didnt it?

SJ420: im hate you

santagay: you loved me once loser

WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there

inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo

crispycrutch: ??????

SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months

SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together

SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls

noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD

SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh

santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous

SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care

noteventhatshort: AHHH

inyourFACEtrack: OOOF

richbitch: AN ICON

santagay: ok well

SJ420: don’t even try bud

DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!

santagay: but at least you didnt hide it

santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat

SJ420: ????

Spot8365631: i thought you were over that

santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone

inyourFACEtrack: wait what

noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?

richbitch: im living for this

richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman

noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?

santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART

santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man

Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser

SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST

richbitch: CALLED OUT

inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?

DJacobs: This…. is true.

inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS

respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat

crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh

respecs: i understand and completely respect that

inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?

respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything

Spot8365631: roasted

inyourFACEtrack: bitch

inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH

santagay: fuck offfffff

WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair

WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask

santagay: dude ur still winning

WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work

inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even

santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started

WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this

WhereforeArtThou: i didnt

inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this

inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass

WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window

noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight

inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls

noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about

Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing

inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed

santagay: you should

santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj

inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices

crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to

inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it

Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced

inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY

crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it

inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie

Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming

crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future

inyourFACEtrack: oh god

inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you

crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent

inyourFACEtrack: touche

crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless

crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe

inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn

DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.

crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain

santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie

SJ420: crutchie is my idol

crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend

SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care

SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me

richbitch: im so in love with you

SJ420: love you too babe

PM with SJ420

richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me

SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this

richbitch: because

richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas

SJ420: ok?

More Than Just Cigars

SJ420: kath is acting weird

albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird

albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird

albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?

littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!

SJ420: oh god no

SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date

SJ420: i asked her why and she said because

littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!

littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC

SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas

albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD

littlebirdie: GIRL

SJ420: what????

littlebirdie: jfc ur blind

albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry

SJ420: GUYS PLEASE

littlebirdie: nope

albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho

PM with santagay

albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me

albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight

santagay: and u trust finch in this

albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never

santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt

albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack

Queens of New York

littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?

littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling

DJacobs: Me too, Finch

Spot8365631: rt

SJ420: rt

noteventhatshort: rt

WhereforeArtThou: rt

albiehadalittlelamb: rt

santagay: rt but bi

inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi

richbitch: rt but bi

respecs: rt but bi

crispycrutch: rt but pan

littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York

inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah

Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone

inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot

inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away

DJacobs: What?

DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?

DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?

DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.

DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?

santagay: u got there on ur own!

santagay: im so proud of u!

DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.

inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?

PM with inyourFACEtrack

Spot8365631: wow rude

inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?

Queers of New York

DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.

santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough

respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else

santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi

inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids

inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird

inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?

SJ420: awwww i love my new son

respecs: what about spot?

santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own

Spot8365631: rude but accurate

santagay: thats my name dont wear it out

Spot8365631: i hate you sm

santagay: then y r u always in my house???

Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.

santagay: honestly? thats fair

santagay: i respect ur choices

Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok

PM with Spot8365631

inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way

Spot8365631: ok?

inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?

Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?

inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex

inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do

Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow

inyourFACEtrack: oh ok

#im so excited for the next chapter! #yet another chatfic #newsies #romeo newsies #specs newsies #finch newsies #jack kelly #david jacobs #sarah jacobs #javid #racetrack higgins #sprace #crutchie morris #albert dasilva #smalls newsies #katherine plumber #katherine pulitzer #newsbians #spot conlon #newsies fic

[marvelbuilt]

you guys are going to think im a hoe but im gonna list the potential boys in my life. also just like so you dont think im really slutty?? i have never gone the entire way with any of these dates.

andrew - my ex lmao. okay so this is like lowkey never gonna happen but we still see each other and talk and like we have a kitten together so like it’s having a kid lite so we still see each other and the boy he left me for in january after 2 years, broke up with him in a month and we hug and they’re lingering hugs? but again like prolly never gonna happen bc he’s a DISASTER and hooks up with everyone.

dylan - okay lowkey this kid would have probably been my first choice? we started talking and kind of stopped for some reason and then i saw him on grindr when i was home bc he lives closer to my hometown than my school but anyways we’re both like relationship oriented and like our first date went so well?? like he had told me prior to coming that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and i was like okay well i mean im probably not either bc it was kind of like a month or two after andrew but he BOUGHT ME FLOWERS??? and i cooked him dinner and we like cuddled and made out and stuff and it was so nice. he’s part of that school that did 13 reasons why not and he like goes to suicide prevention conferences and he’s going to be going to a different university than me but it’s like technically better than mine and he’s so smart?? and our second date was good as well and idk? i like him so much and we snapchat everyday. but he stopped calling me cutie? and i still call him that and sometimes he calls me “b” but iDEK like i think he’s probably talking to other boys or something and he always avoids when i ask if we can hangout again but hes always working now so idk.

andrew - okay this is another andrew and he lives in the town next to mine and he works at the capital of my state and he like studied political science and our politics are very similar and we are just similar in general. his parents are trump supporters so that’s yikes. also he’s not out to his family at all WONDER WHY and he’s very?? like he plays soccer ALL THE TIME. anyways aside from that, our personalities are very similar and we hung out like 4 times in a row and idk? he’s kinda cheap ngl, but i can’t blame him too much bc we are young still. but anyways all the dates went well and it seemed like we were really into each other. then i had finals so i was like yo i cant hang out until theyre over. and then the week after, i got sick so i didnt want to hang out and then like he was playing soccer all the time? and then he got sick? and now like? ugh he’s the worst texter and i texted him and asked him i did something wrong or anything and he was like no of course not im just busy and soccer and then he did say anything else? like jfc i dont want to do all the chasing so i just havent texted him in like a week or 2 and so i dont even know? like everything was fine but he’s such a boy when it comes to texting i fucking cant

patrick - okay this kid omfg probably never going to happen but i just want to talk about it. so this kid is in my program at school and so we started talking bc grindr and we matched on tinder and he’s cute and really smart. so anyways, the weird thing was that i literally never met the kid and he’s in the same residential college as me and like we’re in the same grade? so ODD right? well anyways i tried to schedule a date about 800 fucking times and he cancelled so many times omfg. like constantly cancelling. and he was really sweet to me and stuff over messaging. so school FINALLY ends and im like okay maybe NOW we can have a date. he cancelled a couple more times and FINALLY he’s like okay sure. so he picked me up from work, which was lowkey nice, but then we went to starbucks and he like?? spent most of the date not understanding why anyone would major in my major and how international relations and arabic are the most important majors and how he’s going to get such a good job and like he doesn’t understand why some things need to be equal and he’s like “ive never voted republican but” and im just like jfc i cant handle you insulting my major. but outside of my major, he was nice enough i guess? he’s hot so there’s that but he then just dropped me off and now he’s in jordan until like august and he’s like “yeah i’ll hit you up when i get back so we can hang out again” LIKE LMAO DONT FUCKING LIE. and he like didn’t respond to my message about adding him on social media after the date so lol this kid is like whatever

skyler - okay skyler was the date i had last night and i just met him last night? and omfg i dont think ive ever met someone more different from me that was still gay? okay so this kid is my age, but he goes to the community college, so i hadn’t met him until just recently. so he’s like? nice af. he’s half-mexican, half-white (this comes into play later) and from a small town. but omfg, we got lots to discuss. so he openly considers himself conservative. said that “if i could choose to be straight, i would be”, said quote “i dont believe in pride parades and i dont fuck with blm” AND IM STRAIGHT CRINGEING and like? i presented my arguments in a civil manner im so proud of myself for not popping off but like he listened and everything but i dont think i changed his mind at all because lol the hardest thing to do ever. anyways, super sweet to me, and very relationship oriented. he gave me a hickey last night whoops luckily it’s on my collarbone so people wont see it. but anyways im really worried that he’s moving too fast at this point? and he like is SO different like he called himself “a manly gay” and im just like fuck off honestly bc that’s so not me and THATS OKAY TO NOT BE A MANLY GAY. and he said he agreed. some of my friends think that maybe i can “educate him” or change his mind. but idk guys this might just be a little too different and im really worried that he mightve voted trump or something and im sorry but i let shit like that ruin relationships bc politics?? it’s my world and i just cant handle people who dont study what i study telling me im wrong about stuff i study? and like if you’re a half-mexican gay man idk how you can be conservative but go off sis be a tree for deforestation. but anyways NOW HE’S TEXTING ME ABOUT A SECOND DATE AND ASKED IF I WOULD GO TO A CLUB? WHICH IS SO NOT MY SCENE. ugh he’s super sweet to me personally but i just think we might just be too different.

SO BASICALLY BOYS ARE JUST SO FUCKED AND I AM JUST LIKE WHAT DO I DO HONESTLY LIKE THE BOYS I LIKE? DONT LIKE ME OR ARE FLAKY AF OR THEY’RE SO DIFFERENT COMPARED TO ME AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW DIFFERENT I CAN HANDLE PLEASE HELP ME

also i know someones gonna be like “YOU AINT NEED NO MAN” you’re right karen i dont but dating is lowkey fun but now im just conflicted about all of these things i could scream. like i am just getting back out there and seeing where things go and i really dont see what’s wrong with that

#☼ // ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵃᵛᵉᶰᵍᶦᶰᵍ (ooc) #lowkey save me #LOWKEY DONT JUDGE ME #i needed to get this off my chest

[yakumtsaki]

We don't like to do too much explaining, story stayed the same through the money and the fame, cause we... STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM NOW WE’RE HERE ♪

As loyal readers may or may not remember, my original plan was to faithfully follow legacy rules and slowly build a greek house for the kids, using w/e money we had in junior year. Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions! Which doesn’t really apply here but i like saying it. I’m actually not sure I even get what it means. Point is the nll update came in the meantime and despite my lawful intentions I was too done to build a house, so we commandeered the sorority house, banished DJ and co in the sim bin, added a gorilla statue and our proud letters (U-U-U) and here we are! I gave the house an extensive 10 minute makeover, bringing our funds to an impressive:

NOICE. We’re gonna starve but at least we’ll do it next to our bowling alley. Joining us in this glorious endeavor are Brit Brit, Melody and Frances J, while Wyatt and Ti-Ning have pledged and are expected to move in shortly. I doubt the sim world has ever seen such a bunch of assholes under the same roof.

Our first night is off to an incredible start, as everyone is starving, no one knows how to cook, we’ve ordered both pizza and chinese food and are thus completely broke, and megabitch Brit Brit has been hitting poor Fran with a baseball for 3 hours:

-Ooops, I did it again >:)

Idk but I have a feeling me and Brit are gonna get along great!

Finally, it looks like Fran is concussed enough to make a move on Jojo, which marks the start of the 3-man race for his tiny, vicious heart. Place your bets and take some dramamine cause it’s gonna be a wild ride. 

Case in point, it’s a new day in a new kitchen and Jojo’s mind is occupied by thoughts of everyone’s fav french-arabian prince, Wyatt Monif. Since Wyatt is a pledge and there are term papers that need writing we invite him over..

..and things are heating up. You know, if heating up means Jojo continues to be a pain in the ass and still doesn’t have a crush on Wyatt even though they’ve made out a hundred times. Jojo WHAT IS YOUR DEAL

-It’s called being a stone-cold motherfucker, you should give it a try. Now Wyatt, just because we’re best friends and semi-lovers doesn’t mean you’re still not a lowly pleb pledge completely at my mercy, so don’t get any ideas.

-Of course not, I’d rather die than disappoint my dear Jojό!

-Well let’s see which happens first.

-Oh, don’t worry, Gunthèr, it is I who will win Jojό’s heart!

-Yeah, I’m the complete opposite of worried.. whatever that is.

-Calm?

-WHATEVER THAT IS

-..Are you sure college is the right trajectoire for you?

Finally. THE TIME IS NEIGH. Hope you’re all ready for Ti-Nings personality panel........................

.............................................LMAO. Perfect Jojo match!

RICH BITCH CONVENTION. Seriously these 3 have a combined of what? 7 nice points? Put them all together and you make one bearable person.

-Aw, Jojό, is that a hunting knife in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

-I’m happy to see you!

-Ok I lied it was a hunting knife.

-Oui, I can tell :(

Small dick jokes aside, Wyatt is now not only officially in love with Jojo but apparently ready to commit his life to this monstrosity. Which you know, Jojo is a Union and I’m under contractual obligation to love him but Wyatt, seriously. You’re still young, a lot of fish in the pond, normal, nice, non-serial-killing fish..

-LOCK.THE.WANT.

Fine, can’t beat young love I guess! I mean if Romeo and Juliette teaches us anything...

...it’s that only death can.

For whom the bell tolls..

Oh Max........... the pleasure will be all mine.

One last kiss for the road... The road which leads to me never seeing Max’s fug clone ass on Jojo’s panel again.

Oh you’re a crafty one aren’t you!! Trying to charm your way out before I lock you in!! Thankfully Jojo has your number.

-Absolutely not, Max, I already have 3 people pursuing me, this is just excessive! Now get in there and die!

-Ugh fine, but my heart’s not gonna be in it.

Meanwhile, disaster has struck our house in the form of that stupid fucking coach, resulting in me facing the sight of Gunther doing lunges in this indescribable outfit. I don’t know how long it will be before I can look at him with the same eyes again.

-I suffer now but Mel is gonna thank me later ;)

Remember when you were an innocent weird little kid and not a sex demon??? Those were the fucking days.

Back in the yard and while the world awaits Max’s demise with bated breath, Frances has resorted to pulling dirty tricks. For shame, what did Wyatt ever to do to you, he’s a sweetheart!

-Well I’m not. And that’s why I deserve Jojo, unlike that family-aspiration-6-nice-points flop.

Yea you definitely deserve each other, no arguments here.

OH MAN, Wyatt is not playing around, he’s in it to win it. 

-Your move, Frannie. 

-Name your price, you french harlot. 

-Forget about it, mon ami, can’t buy me love.. Though I’m sure you’ve tried with that mug.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG FINALLY

-Ohoho suck it, Fran, I’m going napoleonic wars on your pasty british behind!

-Yes, that’s an apt metaphor considering the FRENCH LOST. Don’t get comfortable, pal, you won the battle but I’ll win the war.

-EXCUSE MOI, CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF JOJO FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME

I don’t mean to interrupt this thrilling conversation...

....BUT WILL MAX EVER EAT THE FUCKING CAKE

-Please bitch, the cake is a lie. 

God, fuck you, Portal, you overrated piece of shit.

Seriously guys, Wyatt is diabetes-inducing-sweet. He doesn’t even get mad when the cow does that pillow fight thing on him, instead he actually starts playing with him? What an angelic creature. I’m really starting to feel the urge to protect him from Jojo. If that plan goes as well as my plan to kill Max, WHO IS NOW BIRDWATCHING, you can count on them getting married by the end of this shitshow.

This rando ass prof comes to visit us and Ti-Ning has been mercilessly bullying him for the better part of the day. Ti-Ning, as much as I appreciate your relentless evilness, maybe you should focus your energy on something else, like perhaps going after Jojo aka THE REASON I MOVED YOU IN?

-Lol whatever, I have Jojo in the bag, he wants the one he cannot have...

Yea he also has 2 hotter guys than your bird ass after him, so time to step up! I mean look at this shit:

Wyatt has the relationship advantage, Fran the chemistry one, and you have shit even though you’re the biggest freak of the 3 and the closer one to Jo’s terrifying personality points! Take what is yours boo!

NOOOOO #REJECTED. Man that was some bad advice. Sorry Ti!

-UGH can’t believe I listened to you, ‘express my feelings’, what am I, 12?

Yea yea I’m sorry, let’s go back to your strategy of being a massive bitch.

The day is coming to an end. Jojo is eating pizza while his suitors work out..

 Gunther is back to doing ballet while Brit has picked up the mantle of torturing the prof..

AND MAX HAS YET TO DIE. JFC. At this rate he’s gonna die of hunger before he gets eaten which is not how I roll, I wanted something quick, painless and fun for his murder but WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS CAN WE. Even in death you decide to be a fucking pain in the ass GOD. YOU ARE THE WORST. While I’m contemplating ways to solve my little Komei clone problem a little window pops up and my first thought is ‘someone died of hunger’ but then I look and what do I see....

A PLOT FUCKING TWIST, THAT’S WHAT. Our good Jojo here waited until Wyatt and Fran were conveniently both at class to go for it! And now the real race for the crown begins. In the game of thrones, you win or you die birdwatch next to a cowplant, apparently. JUST DIE ALREADY MAX. Be a pal.

#ts2 #union legacy

[amiandthechaos]

Hermione Granger has created “Us”

Hermione Granger has added Harry Potter

Hermione Granger has added Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy: wats dis

Draco Malfoy: we hav a chat hermione

Draco Malfoy: did u lose it

Hermione Granger: first of all, I thoroughly regret teaching you muggle text abbreviation

Hermione Granger: and second, this is not the same, Harry’s here too

Draco Malfoy: ???????????

Draco Malfoy: wat u mean hes here

Hermione Granger: it’s a group chat

Hermione Granger: Harry, can you read all of this?

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: take longr potter will ya

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: dis exactly y he & I dnt txt

Draco Malfoy: he takes 4evr

Draco Malfoy: maks me wanna kill mself

Hermione Granger: your writing makes me want to kill myself

Hermione Granger: please stop

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: y did u do dis granger

Hermione Granger: I thought it was Hermione now

Draco Malfoy: it comes and goes I wouldn’t trust it

Hermione Granger: see! You can write like a human being!

Draco Malfoy: dat was stupd autocorrct

Hermione Granger: …

Hermione Granger: you mean to tell me that writing like this actually takes you longer?

Harry Potter is writing 

Harry Potter: Hello. Oh so this is like the Gryffindor chat we have, right?

Draco Malfoy: what

Hermione Granger: right 

Draco Malfoy: you have a group chat with all your gryffindor mates?

Draco Malfoy: why wasn’t i aware of that?

Hermione Granger: because you’re not a gryffindor?

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: so? I can just imagine the type of things you discuss there

Draco Malfoy: if you didn’t tell me it’s for a reason

Harry Potter: I guess you’d also like to know about the group chat we have with Ron.

Draco Malfoy: :O

Harry Potter: And with the work people

Hermione Granger: …

Draco Malfoy: >:(

Harry Potter is writing

Hermione: Harry…´

Harry Potter: And with Pansy, Theo, and Blaise.

Draco Malfoy: WHAT

Draco Malfoy: I AM INDIGNANT

Draco Malfoy: WAS NO ONE PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS

Hermione Granger: Draco

Hermione Granger: is not what it looks like!

Draco Malfoy: LIKE HELL IT IS

Harry Potter is writing

Hermione Granger: We were planning your birthday!

Draco Malfoy: THAT’S IT. IM CALLING PANSY

Hermione Granger: Draco no!

Draco Malfoy has left the group

Harry Potter: We also have one with Cho, Viktor, Ginny, and Ron.

Harry Potter: It’s called Ex Lovers.

Hermione Granger: Harry, he’s left the group.

Harry Potter: Oh 

Harry Potter: Hermione! You totally ruined the surprise!

Hermione Granger: me?!

Hermione Granger: You were the one who told him about the chat!

Harry Potter: Yes, but he didn’t have to know why!

Hermione Granger: at least Pansy can handle him

Hermione Granger has added Draco Malfoy 

Harry Potter has changed the chat’s name to Draco has no friends

Hermione Granger: for fuck’s sake Harry! 

Draco Malfoy: he did that? 

Draco Malfoy: tosser. 

Draco Malfoy: wait. how can he do that? 

Hermione Granger: I made you both admins as well 

Hermione Granger: something that I’m sure I’ll regret in just a minute

Draco Malfoy has changed the chat’s name to Harry Tosser 

Harry Potter is writing

Hermione Granger: you know, I can remove your admin privileges

Draco Malfoy: so I spoke to Pansy

Draco Malfoy: and i’ll have u both know that i am the founder of the new slytherin group chat

Hermione Granger: that’s great!

Draco Malfoy: and ur not invited

Hermione Granger: we know…

Draco Malfoy: also i want a strawberry chocolate cake this year

Hermione Granger changed the chat’s name to My boyfriends are idiots

Harry Potter: Hermione, where is the fabric softener?

Hermione Granger: under the kitchen sink

Harry Potter: No, not that one. The good one.

Hermione Granger: good one?

Harry Potter: You know, the one Draco uses

Draco Malfoy: it’s hidden behind hermione’s cheap one 

Hermione Granger: :O

Harry Potter changed the chat’s name to Hermione has a terrible sense of smell

Draco Malfoy: hermione u didn’t aswr my qstion 

Draco Malfoy: y u made dis chat

Hermione Granger: why do you think?

Hermione Granger: we have a three way relationship and we can’t have a three way chat?

Hermione Granger: I thought it’d be easier to communicate with each other at the same time

Hermione Granger: but if it’s such a bad idea let’s just forget it

Hermione Granger has left the chat

Draco Malfoy: shit

Harry Potter: Nice going.

Draco Malfoy: shut up

Draco Malfoy: how do i add her back?

Harry Potter: I’m not sure.

Draco Malfoy: jfc

Draco Malfoy: i’ll just make it up to her when i get back home

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: wait. ur home, right? shouldnt she be back there by now? 

Harry Potter: Yes. She’s not, though.

Harry Potter: How are you going to make it up to her?

Draco Malfoy: ;)

Draco Malfoy: wouldn’t u like to know

Harry Potter: We literally sleep on the same bed.

Harry Potter: I would know either way.

Draco Malfoy: fine, if it means that much u can watch

Draco Malfoy: but ur not invited.

Harry Potter: Please, like you’d be able to control yourself with me around. 

Draco Malfoy: is that a bet?

Harry Potter: Maybe

Draco Malfoy: maybe? scared potter?

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy has changed the chat’s name to The Boy Who’ll Lose The Bet 

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: ??????

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy has changed the chat’s name to gryffindors suck

Harry Potter is writing

Draco Malfoy: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH

Harry Potter is writing

Harry Potter: You wish, Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy changed the chat’s name to The loser must put on Hermione’s knickers for a whole day

Harry Potter: That’s not punishment for you, you like doing that.

Draco Malfoy: … i do not…

Harry Potter: It’s okay, you look nice.

Draco Malfoy has changed the chat’s name to Potter’s a pervert

Harry Potter is writing

Harry Potter: So when are you coming home?

Draco Malfoy has added Hermione Granger

Draco Malfoy: ha! i figured it out

Draco Malfoy: hermione do u want me to pick u up at ur office?

Hermione Granger: no

Harry Potter changed the chat's name to Draco's not getting any tonight

Hermione Granger changed the chat's name to Harry's sleeping in the sofa tonight

Draco Malfoy chaged the chat’s name to HA!

Hermione Granger chaned the chat’s name to And maybe I’ll sleep at Pansy’s

Harry Potter changed the chat’s name to Maybe is Hermione who’s not getting any tonight

Draco Malfoy: dont try to win me over harry i know u just wanna win the bet

Hermione Granger: what bet?

Draco Malfoy: he says i cant resist his sexual charms

Hermione Granger: ...

Hermione Granger: you can’t.

Draco Malfoy: WHAT

Hermione Granger. but to be fair, he can’t either. I would win that bet

Draco Malfoy: oh really?

Harry Potter: Lies

Hermione Granger: alright. the last one to give in wins

Harry Potter: You’re on.

Draco Malfoy: are you two losers ready? cause im getting home

Hermione Granger: me too

Harry Potter: I’m waiting.

Harry Potter is writing

Harry Potter has changed the chat’s name to Us <3

#dramionarry #lmao this is so long im sorry #long post #i love this chat thingies #pls rec me more things like this bc they crack me up #draco x hermione x harry #hp triads #mine

[attina-the-responsible]

Tails, Boobs, and Second Dates ~*~ [Mersisters]

In which Attina has a second date and needs to share it with the troops

[feat. Andrina, Adella, Arista, Aquata, Alana. Ariel in spirit. <3]

@andrina-the-amazingsupergenius, @adella-the-romantic, @arista-the-musical, @aquata-the-bold, @alana-the-badbitch

Attina UPDATE: I GOT AN INVITE TO DATE TOO i mean he's calling them challenges but pretty sure that's the same thing. Attina also *two im excited dont judge me

Aquata is this the shit you guys were all talking about while I was gone?

Alana time to break out the lingerie

Adella oh my god atty do you own lingerie

Attina OMG AQUATA you don't know about paul wow okay where do i start.

Arista Ohhhh challenges I like it

Andrina wow is he going to make you walk a tightrope over fire

Attina of course i own lingerie it makes me feel pretty

Andrina or like a hot dog eating contest Andrina swallowing knives

Adella that doesn't sound as cute as hopscotch

Andrina hula hooping tbh

Aquata you all sent so many messages did you really think I was gonna be able to get through them all?

Attina oh i hope not, i'd take the tightrope over fire over hot dog eating

Alana hula hooping on fire

Andrina walking on a tightrope Andrina while eating hotdogs

Attina WeLL what else are you going to do in your downtime Attina my love live is VERY IMPORTANT

Alana life

Attina thank you alana what would i do without you

Adella super important

Attina thanks dell

Aquata so are you going to give me the spark notes version of this or what?

Alana tldr, aqua: atty got a boys number they went on a date Alana it went well Alana woohoo

Attina a HOPSCOTCH date it was so cute

Adella lol

Alana each and every decision, of course, needs a conference Alana hence why we are here

Aquata ...hopscotch?

Attina of course

Arista He's got two kids. Have you met the kids are they cuuuute? Is the next challenge meeting the kids????

Aquata alright whatever not judging, let's dive in

Alana oh yeah he's a daddy Alana atty got herself a daddy

Attina oh goodness i hope he doesn't just spring the children on me.

Adella the children Adella he has more than one?

Arista he said challenge though and springing children is a challenge. They're kinda heavy

Alana super daddy

Attina he's got twins dell just like you! except a boy and a girl

Aquata alright so date two...?

Arista Dell has twins?

Alana oh you didnt know?

Adella wow how weird would it have been if one of us was a boy

Attina RIGHT get this!

Alana she keeps them in your closet

Adella ris jfc

Arista but like twin what?

Adella US WE ARE TWINS

Arista is she keeping twin puppies in my close--oh Arista riiiight

Attina /Simba/ came into the shoppe and had a note tied onto Bowie's collar asking me to the lakeside for idk hopefully a picnic or something! but i have no idea what. he said date two was goingto be an obstacle course but i'm like 70% sure he was kidding.

Arista aw it was a doggy note

Adella what's sim and bowie got to do with it

Aquata well I mean you did hopscotch so an obstacle course is in the realm of possibilities

Attina yeah i dunno if the whole collar thing was simba's idea or paul's, could be either tbh

Andrina best wear kneepads, elbow pads, and a helmet just in case t b q h

Aquata did hopscotch? play hopscotch? Aquata I don't know how the hell you say that

Attina play?

Alana wow

Arista oh what if its like one of those obstacles courses they had on the Bachelorette the other night where they test your kid skills

Attina my kid skills?

Aquata And the Waboom guy drowned the baby.

Adella oh my god

Arista and still won. Which was so UNFAIR

Alana extreme breastfeeding

Attina alana.

Aquata Kenny deserved to win tbh

Adella ew

Attina noT helPING

Alana that's a skill

Andrina oh yeah wear a really busty t-shirt

Arista he totally did. Wow Aquata we need to watch on Monday together

Alana hey can we breastfeed

Andrina it will activate his dad senses

Attina I'm not going to show off my breasts.

Alana i legit don't know

Aquata I had to make my roommates watch it with me in London, they were not thrilled.

Attina we're mammals of course we can breast feed

Aquata ALRIGHT BACK ON TRACK THOUGH

Adella wait what do you mean can we

Aquata DATE TWO Aquata OBSTACLE COURSE

Alana have you seen a mermaid breastfeed Alana because I DO NOT REMEMBER

Arista OH right! as I was saying on the Bachelorette they had like vaccumming races and like changing diaper races and stuff

Attina I /really/ hope it's not an obstacle course. hey aqua think you can go in my place? There is no way i'm getting through an obstacle course.

Adella i assume we were breastfed?

Attina we were della.

Alana nice good to know

Adella see atty remembers

Alana i hear some people are into adult lactation

Aquata Yeah, I'll just sneak in when it's time to run it. He definitely won't notice the change in appearance

Adella yikes

Alana wear a wig aqua

Aquata I'm not wearing a fucking wig.

Attina yes! exactly.

Aquata let alone running in one

Attina aw c'mon! true love could be at stake!!

Arista does anyone ever think that like... its super unnatural for us to drink milk because you're like breastfeeding from a cow like baby cows need that

Aquata just dye your hair

Adella wow true love Adella this escalated quickly

Alana tell me more ris

Adella no ris

Alana have you thought about becoming vegan

Attina dye /my/ hair no thank you. i love my hair.

Andrina i geniunely cannot concentrate on this conversation Andrina the fuck are we talking about cows

Arista I mean I have. I'm already a vegetarian

Attina ALSO it's not true love /yet/ but it /could/ be that's why i said /could/

Alana you mean it wasnt at first sight

Adella bummer

Alana *gasp*

Aquata I'm sorry but I'm still not wearing a wig

Alana ris if u switch to soy or almond milk then baby cows can have more cow milk!

Arista wait is it bad that I didn't like love Van at first sight, is that a thing guys

Adella almond milk is yummy

Attina ugh. fine. i'll just have to keep my fingers crossed for no obstacle course.

Alana i dont date anyone unless i fall in love wtih them on first sight

Aquata No it is not a bad thing.

Alana hence why i have not dated anyone

Adella lana's just being a jerk ris

Attina and it's not bad arista, sometimes love takes a while.

Andrina i only date cows

Arista okay, cause like I could definitely I'm just like not ready yet

Aquata just make sure that if it's a race it's in a pool because then I can wear a cap. Problem solved

Attina oh! well we'll be at the lake so, but i mean i could take paul in a race if we were just swimming pfft he's /human/

Arista I dunno, swim caps aren't cute. Like no offense Aquata but its like weird looking

Alana i think she looks rather fetching in her swim cap

Adella you could find a cute one i'm sure

Aquata They make fun ones Ris

Alana it brings out her cheekbones and face structure when her hair's not a mess

Attina though i mean wait what if he /does/ ask to go in the water that's like--i should pretend i can't swim or something right i just that freaks me out we shouldn't do that oh god i didn't actually think about this at all he wants to go down to the /lake/

Aquata thanks lana

Alana i read "he wants to go down" Alana and i was like "bow chicka chicka"

Aquata Do you want me to be on standby for the lake just in case?

Attina ugh i dunno is that weird? if you're just like...hanging around? though he hasn't met you yet so maybe that's a good thing he wouldn't know

Arista Maybe you guys should have like walkie talkies.... or text each other... but walkie talkies are more fun

Alana lurk in a bush Alana we also have phones Alana modern day walkie talkies

Attina walkie talkies /are/ fun but bulky but i can't be on my phone that's rude!

Aquata then just like send me a signal or something

Arista I dunno you could always say its a "sister emergency" he should understand what he's getting into with all of us

Andrina just do ur hair super nice and then if he's like dur dur dur lets go in the lake be all "but my HAIR"

Adella keep a pigeon nearby

Andrina then flash him some tit, you're good to go

Adella tie a lil message to its leg

Alana or make up mhm

Attina i don't want him to think i'm /vapid/

Arista I dunno his ex seems kinda like that, he's probs used to it

Attina also dell that's a brilliant idea know of any pigeons that'll help out? oh! what if i asked one of the fish! they could tell you aquata.

Alana or you can say you cant swim

Attina wait ris do you know his ex???

Andrina oh here we go

Aquata that's what I was kind of getting at? That I just like, stay in the lake and I'll be able to see you guys

Adella oh no

Arista I know Roger who is his best friend who knows his ex

Alana oooo spill the tea

Aquata oh god Ris why

Attina wait you know roger?! he mentioned him on our date. is he nice?

Alana that's that dog walker bloke with the hair right

Adella i think so

Alana he works at the record shop Alana i think?

Adella yeah him

Arista Yeah he's super nice! We've worked on some music together

Attina yeah yeah i've run into him once or twice but that was before i didn't really get a read

Alana he has a nice butt

Arista I didn't look at his butt. He's usually sitting at a piano

Adella wow

Andrina is it better or worse than paul's butt Andrina bc not too late attina could switch london blokes

Attina paul has a /very/ nice butt, i got to watch as he drew chalk for like three minutes.

Adella also wow

Andrina [highfive emoji]

Attina 😉

Alana okay back to Alana EX???

Adella dun dun DUN

Attina i dont think anyone knows her do they?

Andrina uk idk what's her name

Attina uhm i think it's like--perdita? some weird name though i guess we have weird names too so that's not saying much

Alana oi is she doing the play Alana is she /juliet/ in the play

Attina what how do you knwo that

Andrina i'd rather know why it ended is no one else curious about /that/

Arista yeah she's totally juliet

Alana bc i saw the announcement for the cast bc mags wanted to go for juliet and i noticed the name and like

Arista and he's romeo

Andrina why do we care Andrina oh

Alana how many perditas Alana lmao

Adella wow that's not good

Alana wow atty, time to flash the tits

Andrina ok my question is more relevant

Attina well maybe it's fine it's not like they did that on purpose or anything

Andrina now

Arista I forgot about that. You'd think I'd remember from all the music practice for the play

Alana just be like SO HEARTBREAK HERE'S WHEN I HAD HEARTBREAK HAHA

Adella that's just asking a question

Attina that's totally prying it's being /completely/ nerdy Attina NOSY

Alana idk when does one normally bring up exes

Adella wow called me nerdy Adella out of me and ris

Attina we aren't even official or anything it's not a big deal people break p all the time

Alana but kids Alana that's a whole other level Alana mhm

Adella right that's like

Attina what do you know about it alana

Adella extra baggage Adella more than normal

Alana i watch reality tv i know things

Andrina what if he's like divorced too Andrina you could be dating a young divorcee and not know it

Attina so what's that matter? they're not together anymore

Andrina i dunno i'd like to /know/ if the bloke i'm into was married before Andrina for how long Andrina when it ended

Attina this is the /second/ date that's like a DTR talk

Andrina if he ever wants to get married again like /some/ people do hint hint nudge nudge

Attina i dont want to scare him off

Andrina ok fair point Andrina new plan: sisters, dig. attina, charm. wear a busty dress.

Adella to the lake

Andrina she's got a sundress that shows off some cleavage that's appropriate

Attina what if he makes me do another ridiculous task

Adella then you'll show him more than some cleavage

Arista why is everyone showing paul boobs in their plan

Attina it's not in /my/ plan

Arista good boobs are for later

Attina i'm glad arista gets it. i'm in the same boat, sister.

Adella i didn't say i liked that plan!

Attina oh, true. ahha. lOOK everyone else just keeps telling me to show my boobs and shit, so it's just my assumption

Arista third date material probably. I dunno I feel like Attina is a beyond third date kinda person. I mean I showed Van my boobs like before we were actually dating /officially/ but everyone has their own pace

Attina lord

Adella i wasn't gonna call her out on it Adella but here we are

Attina wow now i feel betrayed am i the oNLY CONSERVATIVE ONE ugh im a freak what if he is /expecting/ boobs

Adella AHEM

Arista Adella didn't show her boyf her boobs for a whileeeee

Attina at least that makes two of us della

Alana are we talking about boobs again

Attina nO no we are nOT

Alana bummer

Adella i'd rather not talk about atty's boobs

Adella or any of your boobs really

Andrina that's a shame, i've got great ones Andrina as does atty

Adella right okay we aren't all that blessed

Alana atty does have great boobs

Arista I have good boobs too

Alana so do u sells Alana **DELLA Alana sorry nails drying

Adella i mean i guess

Andrina we've all great boobs it's in the genes

Adella all boobs are good boobs

Arista I agree Arista I like boobs

Adella we know

Attina i dont think that's really here nor there to be perfectly honest because im /not/ wearing a dress this time

Alana write a song about boobs

Attina or pants because it will be hot and also they make my legs looks stumpy Attina though shorts kind of make me look fat so lose lose lol

Alana oh well U have lovely legs 2

Adella true

Arista ohh I totally should. Make it like Your Body is a Wonderland John Mayer type vibe

Andrina oi attina come off that Andrina where those high waisted shorts with the flowers you love those

Alana atty u r hot

Adella ooo those are nice

Attina i dunno they're kind of childish

Alana ^^ yes

Arista yeah and if you think you look stumpy that's what heels are for. Shoes solve everything

Alana not that they r childish I like them

Attina i can't wear heels down to the lake i'll fall flat on my face

Arista oh right. Well still you can get shoes that help

Andrina sides paul likes children he's a dad

Adella tbf you could do that anyway atty

Andrina wait Andrina not what i meant

Alana hot

Attina jesus andy

Attina also thanks della really great way to boost my confidence there

Adella i was just giving you a heads up

Attina it's already a miracle i didn't do it during hopscotch i guess he'll find out eventually how klutzy /all/ of us are

Adella no need to be snippy

Andrina um i'm the picture of grace Andrina but anyway: Andrina you survived hopscotch in a dress and he invited you to a SECOND date clearly stumpy legs don't matter

Adella i don't think you have stumpy legs anyway! Adella if they were as long as mine you'd just be /lanky/ and klutzy like me

Alana oh my god Alana I am drowning in your pity party

Arista snap out of it Atty you're being self-decapitating again

Alana look we are all hot and we all have our quirks and the key is being proud of them and owning them and boys eat that shit up Alana boys and girls and whatever

Arista ^^^

Adella thank u for the inclusion

Attina okay but /cleaning/

Arista but he DIDNT CARE because he LIKES YOU

Adella yeah but that's... Adella very adult of you?

Alana yah and andrina takes pics of strangers and she's gotten laid loads

Andrina when it doubt, tits out Andrina kidding

Arista I'm a nerd who sings at all hours of the day and hangs out in an arcade and I don't always say the smartest things and yet I have a girlfriend so

Adella no u arn't

Attina yeah but you've got like talents and shit like photography is great and alana u have your make up and arista you have your music and so do you della and i've got...cleaning. YOU KNOW WHAt it doesn't matter that's not the point, i'm just saying i don't like shorts but im probably stuck in shorts so we're goign with shorts, but not the flower ones.

Arista actually I'm a geek not a nerd. I was told the difference and I don't remember it

Alana I don't know a single boy who was ever impressed by make up lmao

Arista REGARDLESS you are talented you like keep a business afloat and stuff

Andrina ok seems like u got this then Andrina live ur life Andrina follow ur compass

Arista plenty of girls are Lans maybe you're looking at the wrong gender

Alana yah ur responsible Alana I'm like p sure I prefer dick

Arista prefer

Attina right yes yeah definitely, thanks ladies. i'm sure it'll be fine.

Alana we love u and u r beautiful and talented and awesome Alana 💗

Attina wow lana are you high or smth

Andrina 💗 rock it

Arista she was painting her nails, maybe she sniffed some remover

Alana why r u doubting my kindness

Andrina im proud of u lan

Adella srsly don't ask questions Adella i like when lan is nice

Alana it's bc aqauta is back and she's meaner than I am so whatever I say sounds lovely

Attina all of you are perfectly capable of being lovely

Adella some of us just have a harder time with it

Alana aquata most of all mhm

Arista I think she went to swim practice or something she hasn't talked in a while

Adella that or she's taking all of her clothes back out of your closet

Alana lmao

#bdrpandrina #bdrpadella #bdrparista #bdrpaquata #bdrpalana #coral texts #attilla texts #attista texts #aquatina texts #atlanta texts #coral #attilla #attista #aquatina #atlanta #texts #1+2 #1+3 #1+4 #1+5 #1+6 #1+2+3+4+5+6

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

-

...why are we starting off in court

-

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing 

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

-

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

-

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

-

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

-

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

-

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok 

-

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

-

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

-

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

-

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

-

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

-

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

-

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable 

-

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

-

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

-

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

-

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

-

...dont call her a spring chick.

-

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

-

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

-

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important 

-

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

-

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

-

So Apollo’s a  red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her. 

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

-

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

-

AW  YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

-

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

-

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

-

(weeps) thank you Athena

-

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

-

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

-

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme. 

-

OH GOD 

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

-

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

-

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

-

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

-

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

-

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

-

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones. 

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

-

nice! the judge is on our side!

-

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

-

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

-

oh so that was important eh

hmm

-

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

-

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit 

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid, 

-

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

-

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

-

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

-

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

-

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

-

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose. 

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

-

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

-

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

-

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it. 

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

-

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

-

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything 

-

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

-

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

-

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue 

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

-

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

-

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

-

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

-

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like 

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

-

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

-

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to  people i dont like :3

-

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

-

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

-

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

-

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

-

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

-

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

-

its time for 

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

-

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

-

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

-

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

-

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

-

please do not call your toe that

-

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

-

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

-

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

-

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

-

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

-

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon 

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people 

-

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

-

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

-

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

-

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

-

ROLE CALL

-

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

-

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

-

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

-

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

-

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

-

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

-

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

-

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT 

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

-

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

-

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

-

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

-

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

-

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

-

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

-

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor 

-

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

-

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

-

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

-

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

-

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

-

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

-

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

-

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

-

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

-

thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

-

highfalutin’

-

“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

-

look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

-

i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

-

Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

-

the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game 

-

dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly 

-

“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

-

au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

-

BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

-

...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome 

-

phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

-

gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

#sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]

[starcrossed-comets]

karamel couple issues

so we all know that this kara’s first time and her first relationship. and from what we’ve seen its probably Mon El’s too. Yea we’ve heard about him being a player and slept with a lot of woman. But!…. it was never showed except for eve and their almost office sex. so its safe to say that Mon El was never been in any  real intimate relationship before too

the obstacle right now with karamel is their both new to the relationship itself. not just in their relationship but the whole experienced having a real relationship. they’re both virgin when it comes to being an intimate couple. what kara and mon el lacks, is understanding and their both too headstrong and stubborn. is that abusive? no not at all. they’re two people who are trying to figure it out, they trying to find their footing in the relationship. kara was never in a relationship, she was never intimate with anyone. she never had a boyfriend. so right there everything is new and shiny to her. her expectation is high. sh expects her boyfriend to side her all the time. mean while mon el he’s definitely never been in any relationship. i don’t fault him for that and its not his fault. he grew up in a planet that arranged marriage is present, and a planet of partiers. i mean now i totally understand why the people of daxam are a hedonist. 

so both of them being “virgin” it made them clueless how is this relationship going to work how they’re going to make it work. they cant communicate with each other cause they don’t know for now. kara is super head strong she expect things to go her way. she doesn’t know how to listen. she have high expectation. meanwhile mon el is to stubborn. he cant follow rules and at the same time he cant listen too. so both of them have hearing problem like seriously. mon el cant keep their secret. i mean some people view it as a dick move. but can we give him some slack though. the guy is very happy and he cant contain it. He is very proud that he’s finally with kara. right there its showing you that he’s in this relationship for real, like this si not just some fling to him.. and yeah theres him being a little bit disrespectful to daddy danvers. he’s disrespectful for a good reason. he’s not just doing that just to be an ass. he’s trying to protect kara and her family. isn’t it a little dumb of them specially j’onn just to trust daddy danvers like that> jfc he can read mind but it still didn’t occur to him to do that. nice going their writers. yea we add to mon el flaws him being protective. but why would you condone him for that. theres nothing wrong fro someone you love to be protective of you. its an instinct. every human is like that i guess in this situation alien is too.

but at the end of the day. what counts is they both learned. specially with mon el.  mon el being clueless about relationship ask winn for advice and you can see he was moved by it. he finally get it he finally listen. he overdid it cause he thought thats what he supposed to do for the woman he loves. but it came to realization to him. that he doesn’t have to try harder cause kara is kara. so we got that couch ending scene. were he was going to try to make a small talk and probably apologize too. nut the moment he sees kara face . he just gave in. he died a little bit inside to see kara like this. so he decided to not talk instead to ask her what she wants. thats a sign of someone who is not abusive at all. so he offer what he can do. and you see the surprise in his face. thats all she wants was him to just be there just to hug her. and he happily complied. he finally realized that this is it. this is all he needs to do. she asks if he could wake up with him and of course he would love that. until that phone ring.  he almost told her not to answer it but he didnt finished it but instead bit his lip. he listen to her again so when she said “we get up”  he became a supportive boyfriend and said “we do”

so you see the growth in their relationship specially the growth within mon el. he finally understand kara and what she needs. so now he knows better, and hell do better from now on. cause enow he knows he doesn’t have to try hard because thats not what they need. what they need is to step back and try to listen to each other

Relationship is you argue sometimes have some disagreement then you meet in the middle compromise then learn from your mistake then you work it out and then do it anymore. relationship is where you make mistake and its were you grow as person and as lover. no one is perfect and no one can be perfect and thats a fact. but what matter is what and how you learn from it

#karamel #karamel defense squad #kara x mon el #mon el x kara #Mon El #mon el defense squad #mike matthews #supervalor #clubsoda #Chris Wood #karamel meta

[thegeminisage]

since i FINALLY finished the comic page im gonna make the poor choice of playing zelda ALL NIGHT get ready for The Longest Post which is full of Big Super Spoilers

since lynel thoroughly kicked my can last night i need defense food and preferably stronger weapons

i technically already had more than enough shock arrows to proceed but i wanna kill him!!!!

LMFAO I JUST COOKED SOMETHING THAT GIVES ME 21 EXTRA HEARTS...HOLY FUCK

okay but in all seriousness i only have like 3 defense things........

i guess i'll try it fuck i dont feel like scouring the world for ironshrooms rn

ok. slept on the bed to get my stamina wheel & 3 hearts, will use my 21 hearts when those run out, got 3 defense things for about 14m of defense, I Can Do This

really i wish i had a one-handed weapon, two-handers are so slow :/

well here we go again :|||

lol why does my heartrate always go up for shit like smh.....

getting better at dodging

ooh he hates my ice arrows

HAHAHA I MOUNTED HIM

maybe i can get a snapchat pic

YES i did i didn't attack him in that perfect moment but hey some thing are more important

NOOO FUCK I DIED

I FORGOT TO REFRESH MY DEFENSE ELIXIR BC I HAD GOTTEN UP AND FORGOT IT WAS ALMOST OUT

JESUS FUCK

im so fucking annoyed lmao i was so close

oh well at least now i can use that whole mount

aaand again

oh. im out of ice arrows.

YIKES i forgot to refresh my thing again just for a sec and almost died

YES i got a perfect dodge purely on accident NICE!!!!

i can see everything from shatterback point, even naydra, but im too scared to jump while the beast is down there

no yk what fuck it. im turning this paraglider around

first tho i really wanna wait to see if i can catch another rainbow...they were so pretty and i lost the other pics i took when i died ):

oh!!! there it is!!!!! and i was just about to give up

ah it last such a short time - but it comes at the same time every day, around 4:05

i'm sure it won;t appear here anymore after the divine beasts knocks it off with the water though, haha

okay.......time to dive

/saves first

AHAHAHA I DID IT

WOW THAT THING IS SO HUGE UP CLOSE BYE

i mean it didnt even move im just Scared. ok

duuude i gave the lynel pic to the lady and got swim pants?! FUCKING SICK where do i get a helm

okay time to go free the divine beast!!

haha wait i came out here without defense stuff. i didn't cook anymore

oh well yolo

or actually this is a game so i live as many times as i want #determination

i do still have some extra hearts left, and stamina, and some healing items, and even some electricity elixirs, sowow!! okay! still huge!!!!!

ah i love sidon so much

he tries so hard and he's so ready and he loves his people so dearly

i bet he's gonna die lol

if it's like, a sage thing, maybe he has to replace mipha if she really is gone

jesus please don't die sidon PLEASE

OH MY GOD I GET TO RIDE ON HIS BACK?

JFC THIS MUSIC IS SO COOL!!!! AAAAKDSHFGKLJ

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING!!! IN THE FIGHT!!!!! IM CRYING THIS IS SO COOL SKDFHBG

oh my gos he's talking he's talking there's voice acting im literally dying i cant handle!!!!!! this!!!!!! i lvoe him so much

omg omg

dude that was SO cool

and link got to ride on his back and then say goodbye!!! and sidon BELIEVES in him!!!!!!!!!!

god i wish i had gotten the helm before i did this haha i looked up the location but i don't think i can back out now

MIPHA?

MIPHA IS TALKING TO ME??

I CAN HEAR MIPHA'S VOICE

I'M CRYING I KNEW SHE WAS STILL ALIVE

i feel like she's about to die like the old man like Move On but

to see her again!!!!!!! im so emotional

oh my god oh my god

no okay i can leave and i need a second too im gonna go get the helm

apparently theres a quest you can do that doesnt give you the helm but tells you where to find it? but i can do that later rn i just want complete armor

alright nice full set hell yeah

HOLY fuck i was paragliding back and i tried to paraglide over the divine beast and it fucking OBLITERATED ME jesus CHRIST

dude there are these absolutely freaky eyeball things you gotta shoot to get rid of gunk and the music gets all creepy near them lsdksjfgh

oh no i found the cockpit but it's all closed up...is her corpse in there? her ghost? oh my god it says the terminals are unactivated

i'll be honest im a BIT stuck here i hate to have to use a guide, but

NO wait oh my god my runes!!! dumbass

i can lift the bars lol

oh my god the CONTROLS are on???

I CAN MOVE IT?? HOLY SHIT

this map is fucking 3D a 3D map!!!! in the other games they were flat holy shit!!!!

i can even see it moving on the minimap!!! holy FUCK

LMAO i was trying to move this crank with stasis and all along i needed to use magnesis. jesus

uh the music got freaky as fuck after i did the first terminal??? no?? thank you????

LOL YOU GOTTA RIDE THE TRUNK oh my god. oh my god.jesus christ

i am so small. it is so big. oh my god

I FEEL UNSAFE!

who is the boss of this dungeon? there's gotta be a boss

don't tell me i fight it

or the undead mipha

jesus god

i have had to ride this trunk 3 times now and i am not at all comfortable

reminds me of the big windmill in mirror's edge

okay yep i did all the terminals and now the music is downright terrifying!!! nice good Okay

HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT BLUE LIGHT

MIPHA?

NOT MIPHA!!!

"my demise 100 years ago" is she Really gone

omg no mipahs talking to me as i fight!!!

im straight up gonna look up what to do im too weak and defense-potionless to do this the hard way

ooh motherfucker doesnt like my shock arrows and lynel bow ahaha

huh that was actually like SUPER easy compared to some of the other stuff i've done

eeeewwwwww

MIPHA? ARE YOU ALIVE OR DEAD IN THERE? oh god oh god

holy fuck

i straight up just cried

she's a spirit and i thought she was gonna like, move on? which is sad enough

but no she's hanging around to pilot the divine beast from the afterlife

she even talked to it i was so sad it's been her only companion for a century of course she fucking talks to it

and i was staying strong!!! i was!!!!!

but she talked about how she wished she could see her dad again and i cried lmao why does this game give me dad feels of all things

i hope she gets to see her dad one more time too i'm so sad she's really dead and not alive like link

jesus fuck

oooh dorephan's talking about the master sword...gimme gimme gimme!!!

aww he was nice to sidon as everyone should be!!!!

holy shit he's really big?? i didn't realize it but he's like twice link's height JESUS

man. i am fucking wrecked lol

time to...explore...the rest of the province...i guess

i got a trident but i can never use it bc it will break. it was mipha's!!!!

on the other hand all three pieces of armor, my shield, weapon, AND bow are all zora themed i took a pic of myself to remember it by lol bc they will all break

i wonder where i should go after this...?

my brother went up to death mountain but i kinda want to do something different so we have something to tell each other about

but i kinda want to do the same so we don't spoil each other

i also REALLY wanna do the southeastmost province for some reason, all that water

tbh tho im getting ahead of myself i still have lots of this left to cover

it's getting harder to tell where i've already been, haha - when the things had borders and there was less visible that was easier

ooooh mipha's ability brings me back from death and she speaks briefly to me ;_; and it's active again in 23 minutes nice!

so i guess each champion gives you a different one and you can chose which to have active but tbh this one seems like it's gonna be the most helpful already

aww i did a little quest in kakariko to root out a theif and i love the way they built up dorian's past that's so cool

i think i was supposed to be able to pick up that yiga dude's sword tho and it glitched on me bc i was too fast :/

ugh i'm doing this oen shrine puzzle where you have to mount a male deer

and i finally mounted one after losing 10000 times and it was past some hills it wouldn't climb down

every time i find one thats close enough they fucking bolt im so fed up :|

and my sheikah sensor isn't picking up any more so i must have literally scared away all of them. fantastic. what a huge waste of time!! guess i will go somewhere else!

also can't solve the puzzle on how to open the shrine at veiled falls so im just batting a thousand today so much for sidequesting tbqh

FOUND A BLUE MANED LYNEL

SO MUCH NOPE

urgh and a blue hinox

exploring might not be worth my time either tbh

yeah no that's two shrines i haven't been able to open and this has stopped being fun, got one more ridge to explore before im done with this province - and some weird islands waaaay out there too but idk if i can get to them yet, and i'd just as soon wait until i unlocked the one next to them

yyyeah looking at them from here it makes much more sense to explore them when i get to that province

at least im all done with this one!! still plenty of sidequests and stuff, but those i can come back t more easily...it's harder to remember which terrain i have and haven't covered when i don't do it like this

i was thinking about how big the divine beast was when i saw it in the distance and

this sounds nuts but i bet im right - what if that flying island thing is a divine beast. WHAT IF

and that is The Day's Liveblog, more tomorrow, except probably not much bc of stream

#personal #loz liveblogging #botw spoilers #SUPER SPOILERS