#who’s gonna judge me for posting silly little fanfics here??

[shiishki]

sometimes i see people have reblogged my very old stuff, the old fanfics i have written and then buried in the depths of my blog and it just. it just makes me so incredibly happy that some people find those fics and that they bring them joy <3 yes especially when they leave their reactions in the tags? of my dear heart

#something i made brings people at least a little bit of joy akdjfjf #that’s the reason why i didn’t delete them #i know i have a few from a fandom in which there’s not all that much self inserts and so i just left mine up #also this is tumblr #who’s gonna judge me for posting silly little fanfics here?? #shiishki.rambles

[violets-in-her-arms-writes]

This or That? Tag

Thank you for tagging me @writernopal ! You can find her post here, go read it ! 💜 I had a lot of fun developing the answers, sorry if it's all over the place ^^

|| HISTORICAL or FUTURISTIC ||

I love to read historical novels but writing them is waaaayyy above my competence level and I know I would get lost in the research part of it instead of, you know, actually, writing it. So futuristic it is because I can bullshit my way through it.

|| OPENING or CLOSING CHAPTER ||

CLOSING CHAPTER!!! I can't wait to get to the one in La Fledgling! I'm gonna break my own heart, it's going to be great!

|| LIGHT+FLUFFY or DARK+GRITTY ||

I wish I could write light and fluffy things but I can't. It might be pathological at this point. I tried to write a fluffy mermaid AU and Lou drowned in the first chapter, so now I give up. I'll accept my fate.

|| ANIMAL COMPANION or FOUND FAMILY ||

I have to choose animal companion because one of my favourite character (Lorelei, immortal witch, high priestess of Némésis goddess of revenge) has a familiar named Doll. It's a raven who believes himself to be a bird of prey but is actually just... broken. It once tried to incubate a skunk and to eat a cat, so. He can't see windows and can cut through steel with his beak (through sheer determination and will). I love it with all my heart. I've only had him for twelve years, but if anything ever happened to him, I would kill to get him back 🤺🤺🤺

|| HORROR or ROMANCE ||

Romance that becomes horrifying, where you would do anything for your partner, even betraying your values and your faith, to the point where you can't recognize the person looking at you through the mirror. Or where your lover becomes something other and you're not sure how to love her anymore.

(On this not, there's a great novel Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield where one of the woman is marine biologist and comes back to her wife *wrong* after six months lost at sea. It's terrifying, it's great!)

|| HARD MAGIC SYSTEM or SOFT MAGIC SYSTEM ||

Fuck rules. Do whatever you want! Why do dragons exist in my world? Because the god of poison had children with a crocodile metamorph and she gave birth to the dragons, next question! Why is Lorelei's magic different from the others'? Because she's OP and I love her and she's my chosen one! Why can Jo [REDACTED] because. That's it. That's my justification. I do what I want as long as it's fun 💃‍

|| STANDALONE or SERIES ||

I always say I'm gonna write a standalone and I rarely succeed. I blame it on my favourite books I read as a child which were all super long series with like 50 books in it, spanning generations and thousands of years (hi Heralds of Valdemar and The ballad of Pern) I also blame them for making me write dragons and over-powered women. I love you, you're the best, mwah!

|| ONE PROJECT AT A TIME or ALWAYS JUGGLING 2+ ||

I'm always switching between WIPs depending on my mood and my motivation. I can put aside a project for months (hi book 3 of WsT... I'm coming back for you baby, I'm coming back for you!), start three new WIPs, and then go back to one of my ancients projects. Every time I try to persuade myself to only work on one thing I get frustrated and end up not writing at all so I just let my creativity take me wherever. I'm not even a passenger anymore, I'm stuck in the trunk of the car, scribbling madly and trying to understand what's going on. It's not going well.

|| ON AWARD WINNER or ONE BESTSELLER ||

I don't really care about awards. Like sure it'd be nice to know critics and judges liked mu book enough to give me a Hugo or a Nebula or whatever, but what I really want is for *actual people* to love my stories. I hope I can touch at least one person with my silly little characters and their struggles. (Also, I want the fanfics and the fan-arts 😂)

|| FANTASY OR SCI-FI ||

I love sci-fi, especially sci-fi stories where humanity has to leave earth and terraform/colonize other planets, I love exodus. I also love to just write whatever like an archeology student getting kidnapped but an alien sect because they think she can resurrect their leader. And I love fantasy because I love swords, and dragons, and magic, and lesbians (and lesbian dragon shapeshifters with a sword), and prophecies. I love being able to craft a world and society and to just... have fun.

|| CHARACTER DESCRIPTION or SETTING DESCRIPTION ||

I don't do it enough, but I love setting descriptions because it helps paint a picture and you can leave little nuggets of foreshadowing in it. (You can also do it with character description but I think I might be too obvious when I do that XD)

|| FIRST DRAFT or FINAL DRAFT ||

First draft is a pain in the ass but I actually love the process of figuring out what the fuck is going on, who the characters are, what they want, what they need. It's like getting to know someone but sudoku like. If you don't put the numbers in the right order you understand nothing. (It's a bad comparison, I hate sudoku, but you get what I mean). Also, what the fuck is a final draft? I've never met her. i always want to change something even after I'm done. Which is also why publishing scares me so much : what if I want to change something and can't because it's already been printed? Nightmare 😱

|| LOVE TRIANGLE IN EVERYTHING or NO ROMANTIC ARCS ||

I'd rather have no romantic arc ever again than suffer through a poorly written love triangle once again. I'm tired of love triangles. Be original at least and give me a love octagon or something. I don't know dude, make one of them die in a war, her wife mourns then starts dating again and then, she comes back after being MIA for years. Don't make it bland between the dark-haired bad boy and the blond boy next door, please I'm begging you. And if you really can't write any other romance, then please just give me an action novel or a fantasy novel or a horror novel without any romance. Please. No more love triangles.

|| CONSTANT SANDSTORM or RAINSTORM ||

Rainstorm if I'm inside! It's so soothing, especially at night. I love thunder and lightning, I love being comfy in my bed, listening to the rain 🥰

Gently tagging @liv-is, @ladyniniane & @autumnalwalker if you haven't done it yet 😊

#tag games

[trinkerichi]

rambling silliness about cartoons (but the not fun kind of silly)

hgfhjghk forgive me for speaking of this nonsense but my sphere of twitter is exploding with discourse over that hazbin hotel hell boss show and how bad it apparently sucks and it's making me soooo much more glad i didn't stake my career on my interest in cartoons cuz god. imagine having to keep up with all that for the sake of keeping connections for the most competitive career ever. you cant say a WORD bad about that show without fifty billion superfans acting like you're calling for the downfall of independent animation, and then a bunch of randos threatening to blacklist you from one of the 3 animation jobs that exist in the world. i dont have time for that wth. taking 4 years worth of high level math classes wasnt that painful.

AND DONT GET ME WRONG. i have NO room to talk being the resident "still an osomatsu fan in 2023" lady. if you like the show i am not judging you in the slightest. i dont think a person's choices in funny cartoons is indicative of their character. but it took me about 2 minutes of watching it to know it was very very VERY much not my thing. its the type of show i would have loved for exactly 2 months in 9th grade when I thought I was cool and rebellious for watching panty&stocking even though I didn't even understand most of the raunchier jokes. which im positive is the target audience, and the main reason the show is so popular, since there's not much content out there clamoring for that demographic's attention lol.

is anyone here old enough to remember when adding the caption "Raep face!!" to a smirking anime character screencap was a big le funney meme? all that awful stuff about France from Hetalia being a funny scamp for sexually harassing everyone? it reminds me of that. newly rebranded edge. every joke that people post clips of is "HAHA THEY'RE GAY! they're gay men who have sex and are gay isnt it FUNNY? and the invader zim guy said a swear!" except this one also has sad backstories so they can get ANGST too! it's the full package!

and see like. I DO understand the appeal! It's unashamed dumb 14 year old's fanfic level fun. (without getting into the harmful stereotypes.) but you've gotta have a LITTLE self awareness of that, right? i love a lot of shows that have massive problems but im not gonna just blow up at everyone who points them out! but i can only even say this freely because im not trying to build industry connections cuz that sphere is SO tight knit. woosh.

im glad for all it did for indie animation! ...i dont have a point here it just made me have thoughts. i wish for peace for all of my animator friends cuz public relations on the internet is nuts.

#its about the hell hotel. dont clown on me in my inbox its not that serious lol #trinket rambles #if anyone argues with me im deleting it

[tickle-page]

Is it alright to request a fluffy fanfic of Souma and Adonis from Ensemble Stars? Their friendship is so cute and I'd like to see content of them but can't write myself! Only if you can though, thank you ^-^

Feathery Touch

A/N: I’m sorry if this kinda sounds like a ship post, it’s not, just my way of making a fluffy tickle fic. I apologize if it seems that way.

Summary: Souma was in a feather light lee mood, but his anxiety keeps building up when he tries to ask a certain someone for some soft tickling. Someone Souma knows won’t judge him for wanting them.

Souma started pacing around infront of Adonis’s room, contemplating on how he should ask a special question. “‘Hey Adonis, I was just wandering something…. Can you tickle me?’ No, no, I gotta be subtle about this. I don’t even know how he’ll react, or if he’ll judge me, but I’m craving some, you don’t even know. Ok… breath Souma, breathe. Just walk in there like you own the place and hint to your needs. Surely, Adonis isn’t that dense. Yh! That’s what I’m gonna do.”

Souma entered Adonis’s room, only to be meant with a purple haired men reading a book. Adonis looked up from his book, facing someone who looked like they just had tomatoes thrown at them. “Ummm, Souma? Is everything ok?”

“I-I,” there it was. Souma hoped that he wouldn’t stutter or have a voice crack, but look at him now, about to cry. “I- Umm… I hav-have a… QuEsTiOn.” God this was humiliating. Souma turned on his heels, heading to the door before he was grabbed by the taller man.

“Souma? You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m here for you.” Adonis looked at him with comforting eyes, but not even that will work on his question.

“‘You don’t understand, Adonis. People says you can trust them, but once you say what’s on your mind, they’re quick to humiliate and judge you. I can’t risk losing my best friend.’” Is what Souma would’ve said if it wasn’t for his quivering voice.

By his old friends in high school who loved being tickled, and tried to go to him for help, but they couldn’t do it until he practically forced them to ask, Adonis knew the reactions and memorized them too. Just in case he encounters someone else with the same problem. “I think I know what you want.”

Souma turned his head around, almost getting whiplash, “You do?!” Though, he kinda wish he hadn’t bc what awaits before the latter is his best friend smirking at him. Not a moment too late, Adonis flew the startled men on the bed, making him lose his place in his book, but who cares? This is his priority now.

He straddled his waist, pinning his arms to his sides under the ler’s knees, as he pulled up the lee’s shirt, exposing his stomach, sides, and ribs. “Now, we’re gonna do it my way. What is it exactly you want me to do, So~u~ma~.” Adonis lightly tapped his bare stomach, making the latter abosultely combust under the light touch.

‘That bastard’ Souma gritted his teeth, looking away from the teasy ler. ‘He knows exactly what I want, he’s just being a little ass right now.’

“Souma is anyone home?” Adonis poked the inside of the lee’s bellybutton, making him turn his head swiftly with a startled yelp. “Ahh, there he is!! You had me worried, I thought you were dead.”

Souma wanted to laugh at that remark, but he was way too nervous to do anything at the moment. He was only focused on Adonis’s light taps, craving for more light touches, but ofc, the teasy ler will force you to ask. “Back to the matter at hand, Souma? I know your craving a certain something, plus your band members told me you perfer the lighter ones, but I can’t recall what that something your craving is. Do you mind jogging my memory?”

Souma wanted to slap that smile right off of his face, but he was in no position to be making threats. “God… would- w-would you t-… ugh, you know? The touching thing?” Souma was really trying to avoid the word tickle, bc in his current state, it’s just embarrassing

“Silly Souma, there is so many touches I can do right now. Like just me tapping on your soft belly is a touch. You gotta be more specific about the things you crave~” Adonis whispered the word ‘crave’ right into Souma’s ear. If age dosen’t kill him, then the embarrassment will.

“Adonis! Don’t make me ask for it, please!” Souma whimpered and whined, though Adonis won’t take any of that tantrum shit.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what your talking about, but if you won’t tell me now, I’m not gonna waste your time.” Adonis started to get off of Souma, before he was stopped by the lee.

Obviously he was joking about not doing the thing Souma wanted, Adonis just wanted to get it out of him fast bc he too is experiencing a mood as well. And only the men in front of him will cure his needs. “Adonis, will… will you… t-tickle me?” He could feel the latter underneath him shake, so he decided to comfort the other before the tickling began.

“Hey, it’s ok Souma. I’m sorry I forced you to ask, didn’t know it affected you so much. Would you like a safe word before I start?” Something in Adonis’s eyes calmed the lee down sooner then expected.

“Ye-yes, please. Can it be sushi?”

“Sushi?” Adonis asked, but he didn’t seem bothered by it at all, thought it was cute how his lee came up with such a cute word for his safeword.

“Mhm, that’s my favorite food.” Souma felt more than relaxed now that Adonis seemed charismatic about this. Something deep inside the lee’s heart tells him he’s in good hands.

“Hahaha, that’s cute… and funny,” Adonis laughed, while he began the subtle tickling on Souma’s bare stomach.

“Hahahhahahaha, wahahhait, I wasn’t rehehheheady,” Souma wriggled and squirmed while his hands was trapped underneath Adonis’s knees, and his arms trapped to his sides.

“Well I wasn’t gonna wait till you were. It’s like a bandaid, you just gotta rip it off.” Adonis traced lightly up and down his abs with one hand, while skittering his blunt nails on his stomach with the other.

Much to Souma’s excitement, Adonis knew how light the tickling should be, considering he was also once subdue to his older sisters’ evil wrath. So the lee shouldn’t have any worries. “Eek, Adonis! Nohohohot there!!!”

Souma started to swirl the insides of his navel, making sure to get the walls, and deep inside of it. “What do you mean, Souma? ‘Not there’? Not where? Here?” Adonis bent down to nibble gently on the outer ring of his bellybutton. “Or is it here?” Adonis began to nibble gently on the pudge right below his navel. Keep in mind, both was a bad spot, especially since he was basically chewing on them.

“ACK! Adonihihihihis!!! Stohohohojop.” Ofc Souma didn’t mean for him to actually stop, so he didn’t. In fact, he kept being the shitty ler he was best known for.

“You gotta say the safeword, Gigglee,” Adonis started to knead his sides now. Kinda like a massage, but tickly.

Can Adonis be any more flustering with the names?! Souma couldn’t handle the teasings at all, but he knew if he told him to stop, then he will just make the teasing worst. Souma doesn’t even know how, he just has this gut feeling telling him so. Adonis made movement on his sides as if he was kneading and folding dough. It was so unbearable, Souma wanted it to end, but he was craving this for so long, he’s not gonna put a stop to it just yet. Though, Adonis is tickling him to the point he’s making it seem like he wants Souma to say the safeword, as if he’s gonna get some type of prize. He’s not gonna give in so easily, instead, Souma actually wants him to do his worst. But by ‘worst’ Adonis is probably gonna do the hard and fast tickles, so maybe Souma should keep that one in his mind. If it’s one thing he hates, it’s the hard tickling, the type that’ll make you stop breathing. Adonis stayed at that same spot kneading forever, it got to the point where Souma had to practically beg for him to move spots.

“Okahahahhay, please, sohohohomewhere else Adonis! Yohohohou’ve ti-played with thehehe same sphohohohot for ages nohohohow.” Due to Souma’s constant giggling, Adonis couldn’t take him seriously. In fact, he started snickering at that sentence the lee just giggled out.

“Ahahahha, yohohohou still can’t say the word tickle? That’s funny.” Adonis stopped his torture to laugh at the men laying before him.

“Ugh, quit laughing at me!” Souma’s face started getting red and he could basically feel his head heating up. Please check this man’s temperature.

“Ok, ok, where to next…?” Adonis started scanning Souma’s torso as if it’s some type of prize. But once the man on top gets a hold of his body, it’ll be a prize trying to straddle a bull. “How about here?” Adonis poked the man’s ribs, feeling how he shifted away from the touch. But since Adonis poked both sides, he couldn’t exactly move away from the sensation.

“Eek!” Souma squeaked so adorably!! It was so cute!

Adonis started to lightly scratch the bones of his ribcage, making sure to drill into the divots between each one. While counting every single one of them. Boy, was Adonis being a little shit to someone who build up the courage to even walk into his room with a whole lee mood. Souma just wanted him to shut up, he didn’t ask to be teased and tickled, just tickled. Though, something about Adonis teasing him sparked his interest, he absolutely loves feeling this way. Teasing is a form of a cute play to Souma, and with the teasing, it’s just to show that he is a very sensitive bean that needs to be wrecked with the tickles he wants, and the tickles he’s getting. Adonis continued his pattern on the man’s ribcage, making sure Souma won’t forget how Adonis tortured him to his liking.

“Oh, do you like it here?~” Adonis cooed as he drilled into the divot right between his bottom and second to the bottom ribs.

“AGH!! Ahahhahahahah, AHAHAhahahaha, Adonihihihihis!!” Souma was losing his mind, but in a way that felt good.

“That wasn’t a no~” Adonis continued his assault on the latter’s divots and ribs.

“Ihihihit wasn’t a yehehehes either!”

“Well, considering you’re not saying the safe word right now, you want me to keep going?”

“Uhuhuhuhug, quihihit asking me thahahaht!” Souma began to squirm more violently every time Adonis tickled between his upper ribs and chest. “GAH!! Mohohohove DohohoWN! MOVE DOWN!!” He came more frantic when the ler wiggled his fingers upwards.

“Move down? Guess what ever you’re hiding from me, is your death spot?” Adonis pulled his fingers out that was being wedged between Souma’s arms. Waiting for him to answer his question, but Souma just ignored him with a redden face. “I’m gonna take your silence as a yes. Don’t worry, I’m gonna tickle that place last~” Damnit Adonis, why do you gotta be so keen on things like this?

Instead the latter moved to his hip bones, using his thumbs to rub deep circles in them. This caused some type of reaction from Souma, “AHHAHAHA!!! ADONIS!!! PleheheAHAHAHse!!”

“You know I’m getting mixed signals from you? You asked me to tickle you, then you act like you don’t want me to? What is it that you want me to do? I want you to beg for it~” Adonis had that deep asmr voice for that last sentence. It’ll make anyone jump to their knees if he asked them to beg for it in that tone. And Souma melted right there. “Get on your knees and beg”? Shit, Souma would kiss his feet if asked too. But he needs to focus on the matter at hand, ‘trying not to pass out from the torture’.

Adonis continued his assault on his hips. Squeezing them while he rubs inside the dents with his thumbs. “Now, what is it gonna be? Will you say the safeword or are you gonna let me continue exploiting your weak spots?”

“Gahahahahha, you are ehehehhevil!!” Souma whined and writhered, though he’s not making any grave reactions to stop the torment, so this is Adonis’s sign to keep going, till he pleads for mercy.

“I know you don’t mean that, Souma. I mean look at us, I’m making you ask for tickles, and you get your tickles. It’s a win win situation.” Adonis picked up his movement, making Souma see stars.

“Gahahahhaahah!! ADOHOHOHONIS!! PLehehehAse!!” Souma doesn’t know what to do. Part of him is telling him to scream sushi, the other part is telling him to wait it out till he really can’t take it anymore.

“Doo, dee, doo, Souma, your reactions is giving me life. I love playing with these squishy hips you have, and your sensitive innie and your delicate ribs and your soft stomach and your ticklish sides. It’s screaming ‘give me attention’ which I am.” God, does Adonis have an off switch? Souma never knew how flustered one can be at getting teased, guess he holds the world record of being embarrassed towards one’s amusement. Honestly, he would rather give the award to someone else, he doesn’t like getting teased, especially when Adonis does it.

Adonis moved upwards on his stomach, so he can get Souma’s thighs, and inner thighs. He turned around so he was facing his bottom half, creating anxiety for the one who’s about to get tickled. “Mmmm~ some meaty thighs you have. Do you mind if I… squeeze them?” Adonis grabbed both of Souma’s thighs in both hands and started squeezing rapidly.

“AHAHAHAHHA!!! SHIHIHIHITTT!!! LIHIHIHIGHT TICKLES PLEHEHEASE!!”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, kinda got lost in the moment of your cute laughter. How about this?” Adonis kneaded his inner thighs with his thumbs.

It still tickled like hell, but it was way better than the tickling Adonis just did. “Ahahahaha, ihihihit still tihihihihickles.”

“Look who got a call from Harvard. Of course it’s gonna tickle, I’m kinda tickling you right now.” Adonis kept his kneading in place while still being sarcastic. Souma started giggling more due to the comment he made.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck, ihihihit tickles so bahahahhahd.” Souma dialed down his movements because somehow Adonis made the tickling feel good while it still feels ticklish. And it was the best feeling he has ever felt.

Adonis used two fingers to knead the part by his genitals and thighs. So long the good ticklish feeling…

“DAhahhahahamnit!! Whyhyhhyhy, it has juhuhuhuhust started to feheheheheheel nice.” Souma whined, picking up his movements with wildly kicking legs.

“Woah, watch those legs Tarzan, you could seriously injure me.” Adonis kept up his kneading at the said spot that tickled like hell. “Now, for your death spot.”

‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, please not there Adonis!!! I beg of you!!’ Souma repeated in his head, but not actually saying those words bc he doesn’t know if he should say the safe word or if Souma should continue to see how ticklish it can be. He chose the last one, no surprise there.

“Listen to me, Souma,” Adonis got off his waist, freeing his arms just to sit back down while cuffing his face, forcing Souma to look at him. “If you can keep your arms up before the timer hits zero, I’ll reward you with anything your heart desires. If you don’t, then I’m gonna have to punish you~ And trust me, you don’t want that.��� Adonis got his phone out, and set the timer for 30 seconds. “I know this is your worst spot, so I’m cutting the timer in half. Even if you make it past 15 seconds, then that’s an achievement and I won’t punish you. Now arms up.”

Souma was hesitant, like really hesitant, but he complied, keeping his arms stretched up above his head. He started sweating through his shirt, he was so nervous. “Ok, h-hurry up.”

“Alright, but now that you know, you can always end this by saying ‘sushi’.”Adonis pushed start, and moved his hands towards the exposed armpits, but was brought back down before he made contact.

“Wahahahahahit, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me prepare.” Souma giggled while squeezing his torso tightly. He “prepared” for a solid 15 seconds, until he was back in the game. “Go easy on me, Adonis, I’m sensitive.”

“Your ticklish, Souma, but whatever you say. Ok, let’s try this again, shall we?” Adonis restarted the timer and pushed start. This time he managed to touch his skin before Souma pulled it back down, squealing and covering his face with both hands.

“Ahahhahahahah, I’m sorry, I’m juhuhhuhst nervous!” Souma giggled out.

“Ok, ok, since I’m nice, I’ll give you one more chance. If you break before I even start tickling you, I’m gonna count that as a lost and give you your punishment. Let’s redo this for the last time~” Adonis restarted the timer once more, and finally made contact, scribbling the hollows of his underarms.

“AGHAHAHHAHAHA!!! ADOHOHOHOONIS!! AHAHHAHAHA!! PLEASE!!” Souma wished he had powers to make the seconds go by faster, but everytime he looked at the phone, it seem like it was going by slower.

“5 seconds, Souma~ can you last another 10 before you give up?” Adonis asked with a hint of malicious in his voice.

“SHIHIHIT!!! IHIHIHI CAN’T!!! BUHUHUHUT I MUHUHUHUST!!” Souma arched his back, but managed to keep his armpits exposed. He kept jumping his waist up and down, to the point where Adonis had to physically put all his strength on top of him.

Adonis looked at the timer and noticed he was 20 seconds in, but he just wanted to see how long Souma can last for, so he kept that information to himself. Though, 5 seconds after, he gave up. “OKAHAHAHHAY, OKAY!! SUHUHUHUSHI!!! STOHOHOP! IHIHIHI CAN’T!!” Souma slamed his arms down, while recovering after the phantom tickles.

“Hahahah,” Adonis wasn’t even the one who got tickled, and he seemed out of breath, probably all the bull riding. He got off of Souma, laying next to him on the bed. “Congrats, Souma! You managed to stand a total of 25 seconds, that’s more than my expectations I had of you. Didn’t think you had it in ya, impressive. Guess I’ll give you a reward, what will it be?” Adonis asked, but was accompanied by silence. He turned to look at Souma, realizing he was fast asleep. Adonis laid back down, giggling softly to himself. “Just remember, never be scared to ask me to tickle you, I won’t judge you, I think it’s rather cute, haha. Anyways, I’m gonna go sleep on the couch, you can sleep in here. Not that you’ll take no as an answer.” Adonis got up softly as to not wake up the sleeping one, and made a comfortable place on the couch for himself. As the room filled with Adonis’s snores, they both fell asleep with their needs tended to.

#tickle #lee #enstars #anime tickle #anime

[makahimetenshi]

Follow me inside the wastelands - Chapter 22  -Arthur Maxson x Female Sole Survivor Fanfic

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14242575/22/Follow-me-inside-the-wastelands

Welp I said final stage like 6 chapters ago and I said ten…I mean we are at the final stage but its not going to be ten, its taking me a bit of trouble to make them fight since I love them so much and I think I did a pretty decent job at developing their relationship. But yeah im gonna try to enter into the final stage I promise

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

Yeahyeayeayeayayaya…they sleep together. And it was satisfying.

Of course he wouldn’t be so silly to think that they were deeply in love again after some sex nononono…but he was glad they did, they were definitely closer than other days at least for now. Nora was playing with the hairs in his chest and he missed being this close.

There’s some things off, like, she didn’t want to be touched on the belly, he realized at the third time she moved him off there, he gets it, still it was weird, she wasn’t feeling comfortable of that part of her body even if obviously it was too early for something to be visible, he would swear she wasn’t pregnant at all if it wasn’t for all daily Cade test.

His primitive human brain felt so aroused about knocking his pregnant partner but sadly it was too early yet to fully enjoy it.

-I was going to be the new leader of the institute you know? –welp, a sudden open of heart, yes, he can deal with it now, okay. Although the institute was around no more he appreciates this efforts deeply, even if some were…mind-blowing- Shaun told me and his workers that his illness was too far to be stopped, and he wanted to give someone the leadership of the institute.

-Mmm –he leaves a smooch on her head before hugging her tighter- you haven’t much of a clue how to manage the institute of what they were even doing until now.

-Exactly, I know the place for only…a few weeks and still wasn’t sure how they managed to convince themselves that what they were doing was a good thing, I was open-minded because I wanted to try it for Shaun but I still hadn’t see anything good from them, I didn’t see any justification-her gaze turned dark at the memory and he waited until she was ready to talk- until I insisted, and he just say that I wouldn’t understand like I was some ignorant prick

-You could continue to live the life you wanted so much as leader –it was crazy how this vault dweller had so much opportunities, crazy things happens in the wastelands- people do crazy stuff just a maintain a certain lifestyle.

-Don’t tell me, I knew a guy who would enslave and kick people out of their settlements just to maintain his lifestyle with a bunch of raiders…but anyway he offers me that option…-she took a moment to breath and swallow saliva, heard it- and I betray him –Arthur didn’t want to say anything, it didn’t feel right to make an opinion in this subject- his mother betray him

-Its not like that –he coudltn judge if it was manipulation or if she was just talking out loud but she say this things about being a horrible mom to put her image down…not sure if it was to punish herself or try to convince him.

-I turn down one of the little things he tried to gave me –welp the leadership of the institute didn’t look like a little thing- my only son

Arthur wanted to…speak what it feel like truth for him out loud: that her son turned to be a son of a bitch mass killer that will use and test with his own mother, that bastard didn’t have anything real to give her and it wasn’t her fault at all, she didn’t betray him, she wasn’t a bad mom for not supporting and stay around such a bastard. Enough with feeling bad, that man turned into an adult enough to knew what he was doing, a grown-ass man much older than her and even wiser with much opportunities and time to reflect, he didn’t have on his entire life any lack of anything, neither a rought life apparently and choose that path anyway, just a motherfucker. He didn’t deserve any of Noras time and thoughts, too much credit.

She didn’t need to feel this bad and confused for that dead bastard. It wasn’t worth it. Piece of scum.

His hand place in the back of her head and Nora take the chance to snuffle her nose in his chest and smell, breathing deeply, crushing her warm breath against his skin. Why they cant be like this forever? He feared she will go again.

-Are you afraid of performing as a mom again or being a mom again? –Nora didn’t understand the question.

-Isnt the same thing?

-No –she stay in silence for a few seconds, thinking her words carefully.

-Being a mom.

Shit.

He stay in silence for a few seconds, thinking in his words carefully.

-Im going to be a dad too you know? Ill be happy if you stay by my side and guide me.

Truth is he wasn’t scared at all, he was prepared for this since a long time, much even before knowing her, it was expected from him to have a son and continue the legacy of his lastname. This wasn’t bad.

She took some time before moving again, leaving a trail of kisses starting on his chest and rising trough the neck to his cheek. Gosh he missed his.

Its not like he think that because they have sex they were good now…but even if he tried to sleep in her arms he cant, Nora would have…apparently nightmares and wake up all night. Arthur pretended to be sleep but everytime she went off the bed to walk in circles around the bedroom…well of course he notices. Obviously it was dark and he cant see much, but the gestures in her hands, the way she touches her hair and specially how she grabbed her belly…she wasn’t having a good night. Dark thoughts were haunting her tonight, filling her head with noise and her body with anxiety.

The first time he wake up too, fearing that she would take the chance of him being sleepy to run away. But when ask her to come back to bed she said something about needing a cup of tea, she made it, and come back to bed to drink it inside the sheets, warming up her feets with his, playing lightly with his toes.

The second time he caught her looking at her siluette in a mirror, it was the first time she seem interested in…her body…

Then she came back to bed and try to sleep.

The third time…she was walking in circles in front of the bed playing with her hair while taking big breaths out.

Arthur would watch everything. She was indeed conflictuated.

There wasn’t a fourth time but…he knew she wasn’t sleeping, Nora would move and spin around the bed a lot, he even caught her looking at the ceiling once.

He wished for her to feel safe and at peace around him.

Lately he was a light sleeping person, he had to, this week specially, so when Nora approached him to leave a smooch on his forehead in the morning he wake up immediately recognizing the sensation but not opening the eyes just enjoying the feeling. Yeah, he loved this, he could be in any place in the world and recognize it, the warm of her skin so close to his, the softness of her lips, the sticky of her lipstick, the sound of her breath, how her black locks fall in his cheeks…

He stay there for a few seconds, smiling with his eyes closed until she went away, Arthur open his eyes slowly to get amused to sunlight, still smiling, until his vision turn clear and see her, she wasn’t as happy as him, her face seemed…sad.

She had a cup of something brewing in her hand, by the smell it could be coffee and also was dressed…dressed to go outside, dressed for battle, prepared.

-Drink elder, it’s a cold morning –he sat on the bed, looking at her crossed eyebrows and plain eyes, taking the cup between his hands.

-Its something wrong? –he simply ask but she look to another side, a dead point in the wall.

-Im going out

What?

-No –his voice tone failed to him, full of worries.

-I said im going, im not asking this time

-Nora…-not now, not so early, not in the mornings he didn’t want to have problems.

-Im the sentinel and I still have time until obligatory maternity leave –ohnonono not this.

-Yeah, like 5 days, you are almost 2 months now –he said taking a sip of his hot coffee, ridiculous.

-Cool, im taking them –Arthur sighted, rolling his eyes, Nora cross her arms still not looking at him.

-Don’t be a clod –his hands started shaking with the heavy coffee cup, he didn’t need this stress with the hot liquid.

-I have things to do

-You don’t fool me, I know what you are trying and you are being mad if you think ill let you…-there was a hint of rancor and disgust in his voice and that hurt Nora, like getting stabbed in the chest.

-I don’t know what im going to do! –Arthur saw her scream and shout her eyes- all options were horrible! You know why im still here!? Why I didn’t die in the wastelands when Shaun dropped me out there like an abandoned dog!? Because im afraid of dying! I will do everything to survive! To go on! But I do not want to be a mother again!

-Then stay! –he put the coffee at a side, fearing to drop it and burn both- I can help to overcome your fears, ill be at your side!

-They were all so risky and unsafe and i…i…I done a lot of dangerous things, I mostly don’t fear to go wild, im usually brave or stupid to go on on so many things that everybody ask me but…that was on myself…-she put a hand over her stomach, Arthur swallow saliva, it was the first time he see her…recognizing her belly as a pregnancy one- only myself and people who agreed to be there, or thrust me to be there with them.

-You don’t want to hurt it, I get it –slowly, very slowly, his hands placed in her knees, doing little circles to play a bit, trying to be close- stay, you don’t need to do any of this

-But I wish none of this would happen, ever –that hit Arthurs heart like a heavy rock, but he shaked his head, there was no time to feel bad- I never wanted to get pregnant again

-I love you in any state

-I need to find a solution Arthur –the way she said that broke his heart.

-There’s no solution where the three of us aren’t together –he was trying so hard to convince her, to put her feelings first in consideration to approach in the direction he needed

-I took none of that options also because…I was afraid of hurting you…-his hands stopped, then why?  Why would she make him go through this?

-Im hurt –he said plane and simply, he knew this wasn’t about Nora not wanting a family particularly with him, but anyone, he wasn’t the problem, she loved him but his situation was testing their relationship. She pressed her lips hating to be in this place right now, she should leave first, to not cause him all this pain, or at least not be present to see it, it was so hurtful to watch, it burned.

-I need to do something about it, find another path

Both stay in silent, he wanted to cry so much, his breathing was preparing him for that and Nora could see it.

-I can respect this five days…then ill go find you, after five days Ill search for you in every dusty corner of the Commonwealth, but if you decide to come early, don’t come back unless you are still pregnant –that felt wrong for Nora, her whole body shiver so bad it hurt her back.

-That’s all that matter to you of me!?

-No –he said firm, taking his hands out, now  he was looking at a dead point in the opposite direction- but I don’t know what ill do if you are not pregnant, I don’t know how ill be able to handle it, to keep it together

Hearing that was like getting punched in the middle of the nose for Nora.

-I don’t know what im going to do –she just said, feeling the man gripping the sheets under her

-You are confused –he just said, voice lacking of emotions.

-This isn’t about you at all, I love you Arthur Maxson

-I know it hurts –he wished so hard to take her warm hand and feel it between his fingers again, to be close and comfortable again- I know you have been trough a lot, that is hard to forgive yourself sometimes, that you don’t want me around in this thing because is between you and your son but its inevitable for me to not be involved, we made it together, i need to be involved, I want to be around –his eyes water, Nora wanted to just get up and leave already at seeing it. When he took a big breath through his nose to avoid…crying…in front of her, the smell of coffee suffocate him.

-I love you

-I can help you

She stopped breathing for a moment, heasiating, like time was frozen around. The thought of taking his hand and surrender in his arms was there, take the chance to try to get ahead and get over it but…no…There was something deep in her core telling her that she shouldn’t be a mother again. A giant black void inside her chest taking her breathing away.

-Im sorry –Nora went up and off bed, but Arthur wont look at her- Im sorry to cause you all this pain

-You have five days to come back, or ill find you and our son

-I love you Arthur Maxson –despite everything, she knew deep inside that this wasn’t the last time they will see each other, that she will say this words again to him. She wasn’t going to give up on him.

He stay in silence, until she was in front of the door.

-Let me help you Nora

The last thing he heard was the door opening and the sounds of the outside: Nora breaking his way out of the guards, the mess, the chaos and the runaway Sentinel was causing to the tripulation.

He knew she wouldn’t kill anyone, only hurt them just a bit, she was more than capable enough to do friendly fire and still get away, to run off, all this time, she choosed to stay until her heart was filled with negativity and he can’t…push it away from her head. This wasn’t against him but it hurt that it wasn’t enough to crave in her head that together everything was going to be just fine.

Hell deal with the consequences of making this vault dweller his woman later, now he needed to cry.

She was the problem, not him.

He tried enough.

The coffe now smelled horrible.

#fallout 4 #arthur maxson #elder maxson #sole survivor #makahimefanfic

[rpd-rookie]

After all things he saw and been through, Leon could use some rest... So how about Leon x reader on vacation in some remote, distant place, phone turned off, Hannigan banned from contacting him over new assignments? I guess it would be perfect for post-Vendetta? I don't really care it it's going to be fluff, smut or whatever - I just want him to take his time off and simply enjoy his leave, wherever he'd go. ^_~

Author’s note: Sorry about the long wait. This OS actually became so long I decided to make it a 2 or 3 chapters long fanfic. Here’s the first prt. Hoping you’ll love it.

Warning: Angst, Mention of Alcoholism and Depression, Language, Mention of sex.

Information : Y/SN = your second name

Holidays - Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader

A fresh marine breeze entered the room through the ajar French window, flapping the white muslin curtains like two small sails. It caressed his clammy naked body and a salty smell came to tickle his nose, reminding him a time when, as a kid, he used to go visit his grandparents in their small beach house in South Carolina, a time that was far gone but that he kept close to his heart.           And so he sprawled on the mattress, a bit like a funny starfish, his blue eyes still shut, trying to linger in his memory and in his bed a little longer, at least until Hunnigan calls him to warn him not to be late to another umpteenth appointment with his DSO colleagues or the president.           Only when he felt a delicate hand brush his hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear like his mother used to do when he was a child, and finally met a pair of gorgeous (colour) eyes did he realise two things.   One, Hunnigan won’t call this morning. Two, holidays were awesome.

Part 1: THE MEETING

           Scott Rossi. That was the name he had given when he had registered in this remote cottage-like hotel three days ago on the north coasts of Nova Scotia. Nothing original and probably too easy to guess – it was his father’s first name and his mother last name after all. A fake identity he had judged necessary to disappear from the DSO’s radar for a little while.     He needed to be left alone. For his wellness and his sanity even though a part of him knew drinking his sorrow away wasn’t what was best for that so-called wellness he wanted back. But it was the only solution he had found to forget. Forget about New York. Forget about the car bombing in DC. Forget about that bullet he put in President Benford’s head. Forget about everything that had led him here, drinking in this bar. But the road to forgetting was hard and the escape too momentary. And the more whisky he poured in his glass to more he seemed to drown in his bottomless pit of pain and depression.           “Tough day or you’re just not confident in your masculinity?” Usually, Leon would have ignored such a nosy question, the same way he would have ignored another over-curious judgy person, with characteristic stoicism. But there was something in that question, something in that voice - though he couldn’t pinpoint what - that made him look up from the amber liquid in his glass. Perhaps was it the strangeness of that question. Or perhaps was it that voice, confident and full of nerve, reminding Leon of old times, old friends, bold young agents and femme fatales. Or perhaps, was it simply because she was a woman and God knew how much Leon couldn’t ignore one, wasted or not.     She was a (hair colour) with piercing (colour) eyes, wearing a long marine blue coat over a nice black dress. Elegant. Self-assured. Pretty. Very pretty … Actually too pretty to hang out in some lousy hotel bar like the one she was in right now. A city girl maybe. “Excuse me?”           “The whisky. My father used to say it’s a drink for fags.” Leon’s eyes widened briefly and she added, unsettled by his surprise as if she had expected it. “But then again, my father was an asshole who didn’t know shit about anything. So tough day, huh?” Leon snickered and remained surprisingly troubled for a few second. Needless to say, he wasn’t used being caught off guard like that. “More like tough life” He finally corrected. She nodded and, unable to resist curiosity – even though she had the impression the man was certainly not the kind to easily open up to strangers -  quickly went to sit closer to him bringing her tequila along with her. “I’m all ears.”   “I don’t need a therapy.” His tone was curt and harsh and he took a sip of whisky looking away from her, thinking she would get the message and leave him to finish his fancy bottle of Glenfiddich in peace. But she did not move and simply waited, her observing eyes set on him as if she was trying to read his mind or something.       He glanced towards her only to see her sigh and take off her coat like an insect would shed their skin, offering Leon the sight of her beautiful wasp-like body covered in black silk, a sight that didn’t leave him indifferent. After all, she had an exquisite silhouette. Curvy with a narrow waist that her skin-tight black dress could bring out with ease. “Let me guess, after fifteen years of marriage, your wife cheated on you with your best friend because you were the kind of man who lived for his job instead of his family and now he’s taking care of your kids in your own house and they call him daddy.”         “Couldn’t be moooore wrong.” He had a quick laugh, not because he thought her soap opera-like story was amusing but because he actually never imagined someone would picture him married with kids. Did he look the type? He didn’t think so. “Maybe. But at least now I know you’re not married.” Leon glanced at her again, astonished by her audacity. No one had ever flirted with him that way. Though he wasn’t even sure she was flirting. “Are you sweet-talking me or something?”         She shrugged her

shoulders leaving the place for any sort of answer and Leon said “You know, you could have just look at my hand.”     “I did actually but I just wanted to make sure.” She had a quick seductive smile and smoothly bent towards Leon who peeped at her décolletage for a second before focusing on his drink again. “By the way, is shooting a hobby or part of your job?” Leon froze, his glass half way between the counter and his lips and stared at her. “How …”             “The calluses on your fingertips. Only a shooter has that kind of hands.” He couldn’t help but be impressed and after drinking his whisky in one go, he naturally sat up straight on his stool to scrutinize her, suddenly more that interested in that mysterious girl. “You’re observant.”   “Y/N actually.” She extended her hand and, after a short hesitation, he shook it with an amused smile, undeniably seduced by that cheeky attitude that suited her so well. Her skin was so soft and cold against his, he instinctively kept her hand in his to warm it up. A lovely gesture yet certainly a bit inappropriate. Either way, the girl said nothing and let him hold her hand. “I’m L… Scott. I’m Scott” He finally replied as he let go of her hand, slightly uncomfortable. “ Fine, then I’m Y/SN.”     Leon frowned, his face showing a mix of confusion and amusement. “You just said your name was Y/N.”         “Yeah but that was before you chose to lie.” She grimaced, emptied her shot of tequila and called the waiter with a small hand gesture to ask for a refill, not even slightly disappointed in Leon for lying. “I didn’t lie.” Not really. She put down her hand as she realised the barman, who was flirting with a man at the end of the counter, would not notice her.     “Of course you did. But I’ll allow it. I guess that’s just another silly way to cope with your tough life for a night. Though, it seems it’s as useless as alcohol” She took Leon’s glass and emptied it without looking away from the agent.       “I’m trying to enjoy my holidays at the fullest.” He confessed and that was the truth. “Is it working?” She placed the glass, now stained with her lipstick, in front of him and he shrugged, showing her the bottle of alcohol by his side before pouring himself another drink. “No, not really.”             “Thought so.”            

She took the whisky again, this time from Leon’s hand but he did not protest. He didn’t care about that damn liquor. He could definitely afford another bottle. The company however … He knew he would never find another girl like the one sitting next to him. “So, Y/N. What are you doing here?” He asked, his eyes fixed upon her face. “Who’s Y/N?” She replied with a cheeky wink and Leon smiled and chuckled. It hadn’t done that in a while.  “Are we really gonna play this lie the whole night?” Part of him hoped so. There was something endearing and refreshing in that little game, the same way there was something terribly irresistible in that girl.       “You wanna spend the whole night with me? Who told you I was that kind of girl?” She harrumphed, hand over her heart like an amazingly lame actress, an overly dramatic gesture that was certainly intended.         “You’re impossible.” Leon confessed but there was no hint of criticism or annoyance, quite the opposite. He was actually having fun drinking here with that girl he didn’t know. “No. I’m just a girl pretending to be someone she’s not – aka Y/SN - talking to a man named Scott who just lost his wife and kids to his best friend.”           “Not just his wife and kids, his dog too. A beagle. Poppy.” She laughed, getting the tiny nod to John Wick and he looked glad that she did. “And what’s Y/SN’s backstory?”             “I found yours. You could at least found mine.” She retorted and let him think. And for a second, as she stared at him scratching his stubble, finding him insanely handsome, she realised he hadn’t touch his drink in a small while. Good.   “Y/SN is a college student with unresolved daddy issues trying to get the attention of a man possibly twice her age to cope with the fear of abandonment his father left her with when he left her and her mom.”         “Was Dad an alcoholic?” She declared on purpose, just to see if the word would trigger his desire to drink. It incredibly did not.   “Might explain why you’re so interested in a loser like me.”

She stayed the whole night with him. Talking. Playing. Flirting in ways only she could do. Creating an undeniable connection, a sharp sexual tension that only a man deprived of all senses would have missed. She gave him a signal (if not more) with her eyes, called him with her lips. And he responded with a similar technique, a similar enthusiasm. And at the end of the night, when she got up from her stool and kissed him goodbye, right at the corner of his lips, she realised she could potentially spend the hottest night of her life if she chose to lead him in her room. After all, it was no secret for either of them. She wanted to fuck him and he wanted to fuck her.           But a part of her decided to play hard to get, decided that this night would be a sweet game, a foreplay in their roleplay. And luckily for her, he was a player. Just like her.

#Leon Kennedy #leon s kennedy #fanfic #request #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader

[starrypawz]

@ejunkiet

tagged me in this

tagging if you want @jaysworlds @spike-spiegel-is-jewish @antigonick @impossible-rat-babies @acrisisofbeholding @kittlesandbugs @amlovelies @depizan @riajade01 @semper-draca and anyone else who wants to borrow this

I’m just gonna go off whatever I’ve remembered to put on my AO3 since like there’s no way I can work out what’s the most popular amongst like around a decade worth of fic I’ve posted to this site lmao

Which does mean my FHR and Passenger content and most of my old SWTOR fics won’t really be included here since basically all of that lives on here as I never really bothered to post it onto AO3 and there’s way too much to dig through.

Most popular fic (Measured via Kudos)

Pride-full Aka that one time i wrote a slightly silly good omens one shot and apparently people liked it, it currently stands at like 306 kudos

Second place is A Little Death a Hades one shot I wrote because I got deep into Thanzag (245)

Third Place is: Five Times Hera and Kanan touched (Plus one time they tried but were interrupted)  (It was the style at the time in 2015 ok) pretty much what it says on the tin, I was deep in the sauce with Kanera when SW Rebels was a thing (119)

Best

I don’t really know how to answer this as I can’t to me really judge what makes something I write ‘best’ as like even when I look at my really old stuff I generally don’t hate it even if it’s not up the the standard and style I write in now you know?

Favourite

Oh this is hard as I can’t really pick favourites so I’ll just throw up a couple of fics I’m fond of

Anonymous Tips, a little wonky now I look on it but I’m still fond of this FO4 piece I wrote because you know just why did you not expand the connections between Hancock and Nick Bethesda

Shepherd’s Warning, an attempt at writing a TMA statement fic enjoyed working on it as I think it’s the first time I’ve really tried to write like horror was also nice to work on something i could be like ‘yes this is based on places I know’

Missing Page, Intimacy and Nighthawks as we have learned over the last couple of months, I stan Gerry Keay a whole lot and I have many emotitons about this goth

And yes the two fics I’m dumping my gerry and nemo content count too as I’ve honestly been having a lot of fun writing this stuff

the one without the smut the one with the smut

Least favourite:

Honestly i don’t have an answer, cause if i didn’t like something I wouldn’t post it that also does include my in hindsight not so great early fics from like 2012 which is when I really started writing fanfic although there’s a few like fairly quickly abandoned fanfics I wrote in my teens that are v much lost to old harddrives like I never like... hated anything I’ve written really because I mean it was the best i was writing at the time so

#hi im like not good at evaluating my own work lol #i basically have like 0 background in literary criticism of any form or any formal writing training #i'm legit just doing this all by the seat of my pants and just hope some people enjoy my nonsense lmao

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: Sorry for that delay! Holidays got a bit crazy, and I've been sorting out my life since then. Will try to get this posted a bit more regularly from now on!

Also, the theme song for this chapter is "Feeling Of Falling" by Cheat Codes and Kim Petras.

                                             CHAPTER ELEVEN

The corners of my mouth lifted up the tiniest bit. "So… this counts as a date?"

"UGH!" Miss Kawakami got up from the table and crossed to lean against the kitchen bar. Seeing her framed there, between the mini water cooler and the espresso machine, her dress revealing just enough of her back to make my fingertips tingle and my mouth run dry…

'No, Makoto,' I thought to myself. 'Focus. Don't let your weird new gay feelings distract you from helping her.'

"Look. It doesn't have to be a date. This was just the kind of dinner you deserve from a date. Not specifically from me. Not me being your date, I mean, um… if that makes sense."

"Well, why not? I'm already a maid for two of my students. Gave you a bath and let you massage me, put on this dress for you. Why shouldn't I just say 'fuck it all' and throw myself into your arms? Huh?"

There was anger and frustration bleeding through now, and it made me duck my head in fear. "I'm sorry. Y-you can leave, I won't tell anybody you left early. I d-don't want to keep you here if you-"

"No, that's exactly what you want. Right?" Finally, she turned, and she was shaking with anger. "I told you already that this can't happen, and here it is. Happening. What gives you the right to just ignore my wishes? Like I'm not the grown up here!"

"O-oh," I breathed softly, shutting down. Like a puppet with its strings cut. "You're right. I apologise."

"Makoto, what…?" Then she sighed in exasperation, throwing up both hands. "See? You act like a little kid getting yelled at! Why aren't you yelling right back at me? This is not how it would work if we were equals in this relationship! What the hell am I saying? We're not even in one! Oh my GOD…"

"Hey, it's alright," I said, finally rising from the table as I kept my voice low. "Listen. I'm… I'll go to my bedroom for a few minutes. Please enjoy your meal, and… if you're gone when I come back out, I'll underst- understand."

My voice had broken on the last word but I tried to recover quickly as I strode away from the table, the room spinning. Sadayo didn't do anything, but she did watch me go, trembling as she stood there trying to weather the blunt force of a million different emotions buffeting her all at once.

Something I could relate to.

I had only been laying on my bed for a minute or two, tears rolling down into the pillow silently as I stared at the wall, when I heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in," I said as I hastily blotted at my eyes with the tissue in my hands.

"Hey," she breathed. My lights were off, so all I could see was the halo of her slightly messy hair from the backlighting. "I, um… I seem to have lost my appetite."

"That's fine. I'll clean it up later, and… Sae and I can have the leftovers. She'll just wonder why I made duck. I'll get your money in a m-"

"I'm not leaving yet," she reassured me. "Can I sit?" I nodded, so she sat on the very edge of my bed, not quite far enough back so that we were touching. "So… now it's my turn to apologise."

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, I did. I really overreacted out there, I… don't know why I did that. Well, I do, but it doesn't make it okay."

Eyes still blurry, I glanced up at her face that I could see a tiny bit better now. She looked pale, and scared, but not nearly as two-steps-from-crazy as she did before. Her eyes closed for a moment as she contemplated the situation, chose her next words carefully.

"You aren't… the only one."

"Hm?"

"You aren't the only one who feels this… pull toward each other." Another breath to steel herself. "I couldn't tell you when it started, or why, or how I could actually feel anything this strong for a girl in my class. But it's real and it's there."

Now I sat up a little more on my elbows. "What are you saying? Do you-"

"Wait," she bade me with a hand raised. "The thing is, that doesn't change the situation. You're a kid! And my student - and my boss when you request me through the agency. It's so messy… and I'm straight, so even if we did anything with these crazy feelings, it's probably not going to work out in a 'happily ever after' way. When I sit there and picture my ideal future, it's married to a husband who's providing for me, whose big, strong arms can comfort me when I'm sad or stressed out." Then she snorted. "Not that I'm gonna meet one at the rate I'm going, as my mom would say."

"Oh."

Her lips pulled into a little sad smile. "But I will admit you got to me way more than I thought. Just something really special about you, Niijima-san."

"And there's something special about you, too, Kawakami-san." At the term of address, she did raise an eyebrow and laugh a tiny bit, but let me continue instead of interrupting. "I've done a lot of thinking, about… what you said. Your bath and all that."

"Don't remind me," she sighed. "And how much thinking could you have done in five minutes?"

"No, not just now. The whole week." I sat up a little more as I continued, "You're my first in a lot of ways. But honestly? I don't think it matters that much. Because I know how I feel about you even without those things. Maybe I already did, because…"

When I didn't continue right away, she prompted, "Because?"

"You were the teacher I looked forward to seeing the most every day," I confided. "Probably because you were attractive to me, even though I didn't understand that until the hotel room. But it must have already been there, because… you flirting with me shocked me, but not enough. I should have been a lot more scared - I should have wanted to run screaming from the room. Instead, it almost felt… natural. And that scared me the most."

Miss Kawakami frowned. "But that flirting was just part of the job. You know that, right? I didn't… I thought you were a young man who paid to have me flirt with him. That isn't disgusting to you?"

"Like you said, it's your job. I think it would be pretty stupid and narrow-minded of me to judge you for that. Really, the way you're working so hard to pay that student back only makes me admire you more."

"Oh," she breathed, staring down at where her hands lay in her lap. As she watched, one of mine came to rest atop them, and she looked over to see my face was a lot closer. "M-Makoto, wait…"

"For what?" I whispered - and I could barely believe I was doing any of this. But it was too late to turn back; that ship had sailed. "I think you need to know right now how serious I am. Sadayo…"

Her eyes closed. "Shit. You say my name like that, and I can't…"

"Can't what? Sadayo?" That time, I was teasing a little.

"Can't resist you. Can't fight back against this huge mistake."

The last word gave me pause. Enough so that I changed my tactic; my lips pushed into her cheek instead of her mouth. But it was still a kiss. I had never kissed anyone before, and now I had, and it was my Japanese teacher. Life really is crazy. For that moment, however, we were just two women who didn't know how to handle their feelings, and it was more powerful than I ever dreamed.

"Oooooh, okay," she let out in a shaky sigh a few seconds later, when I had drawn back to rest my chin on her soft, warm shoulder. "Wow. That was nicer than a little peck on the cheek has any right to be. God…"

"Yeah?" I breathed cautiously. "I figured I should start small. Not push too much."

"So you're all in now, huh?" she asked with a bitter chuckle, despite the warmth in her eyes as she gazed down at the floor. "Totally gay, and totally gay for your teacher?"

I shrugged as I pet along her back, and she melted. It was almost comical except it was too inflaming to be laughed at. "Guess so. I'm as confused as you, but it just seems silly to pretend I'm not interested."

"Makoto… your moves are like… A+ level moves. How are you only eighteen? How are you a girl?!"

"Do you want me to put the mustache back on?" I laughed.

"No!" We both chuckled for a moment, even though halfway through she shivered and arched her back. "Oh my GOD, you are barely doing anything and I'm ready to go."

"Ready to go?"

Fearful eyes turned on me. "Wait - forget I said that. Shit, why did I say that?!"

"Do you mean…" My eyes widened, and I felt heat explode within my cheeks. "Oh."

"I said forget I said it, so stop thinking about it! Wow, I really am a mess - I need to see a therapist or something!"

My teacher was turned on. Was this really happening? Despite the fact that, as she said, I was barely doing anything to her, apparently it was getting her aroused and ready for me to explore further. Only question was…

Was I as ready to explore as she was to be explored?

"It's okay," I reassured her, petting a little more firmly and hoping it would help. "I, um, I don't remember you saying anything. Just that I have some good moves. Did you say something after that?"

Her embarrassed laugh spoke volumes. "Nice try, kid. Ugh, I'm such a loser."

"Why? Because having someone focused on you feels good? Because this…" I pet a single finger down the middle of her back - not even sure how I knew to do that, running purely on instinct - and she shook and shivered. "…feels good?"

"Stop, please…"

"Really?" My hand came to rest in the middle of her back, staying totally still. "I will if you want me to."

"Yes. I do." So I took the hand away. Her eyes were sad, but what she said was, "Thank you."

Swallowing hard, trying to ignore the pinprick of fear in my stomach, I whispered, "Of course. I'm sorry, I just… I thought I could make you feel nice, and you might feel less… mad at yourself? Scared?"

"You did, in a way. But you also made it way worse." She turned to gaze at me. "Because it worked. You got me all revved up by barely doing anything - and I only felt that with the best of the dates I've been on. Even then, most of the guys had to work harder to get me there."

"Except… you don't want it from me. I'm a student, and a girl." She nodded, and I sighed. "I understand."

"Well, I don't," she blustered, folding her arms over her chest. My hand was resting on her thighs now, but I tried to keep it still so as not to draw attention to that. "This is nuts! I feel like I'm being pranked, except it's way too real to be a prank, so…"

"How do you think I feel? You're my teacher, and so beautiful. And a woman - which I think I'm somehow more comfortable with that than you are. But it doesn't mean I'm not panicking."

"You're panicking?" she asked, and I could tell she was almost grateful to think about me instead of her own feelings. "But you seem so cool with it all. Like, other than when I scream at you like an idiot."

My lips split in a smile. "Not an idiot. You just weren't expecting any of this. We're both trying to figure it out." I pet her thigh a little now, and she shivered. "Is this alright?"

"N-no." I stopped. "God… I can't believe how different it is with girls."

"Hm?"

"I ask you to stop, and you actually do it. No 'Aww, c'mon' first, no telling me I'm some big tease if I get less comfortable."

"Oh," I chuckled softly. "Do you want me to do that instead? I probably could learn."

"GOD NO!" Then we both laughed. "It's one of the only clear advantages. But, um… anyway, yeah. How do you keep from blowing your stack while I'm over here, sweating enough to fill a bucket?"

"You are not sweating," I snorted as I thought the question over. Finally, I sat up completely, my legs out and to the side behind her as my face rested against her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind me there, even if my touches were too much for her to handle at the present.

"Miss Kawakami, I wish I knew what to tell you. But I've always been like this under pressure. I'm still freaking out and trying to figure out what to do, but it's like… there isn't any point in letting the panic turn me into a mess, so I just… don't. And I can't explain to you why I'm like that, either."

"Lucky," she pouted.

"I feel lucky. You're not yelling at me for all this, and… I do keep worrying about what you said."

"Which thing I said?"

"That I'll go too far and you won't tell me to stop, and I'll hurt you. That's why I keep taking such… small chances." I kissed her shoulder again, and she sighed. "Like that one."

Humming her pleasure at the next kiss, she finally whispered, "They're small but they aren't small. My brain is telling me 'no', but my body…"

After the next kiss, when she still hadn't finished her thought, I whispered, "Tell me."

"My body wants this. Needs it - and that's all I'm going to say, because it's already really terrible that I told that to any student. I deserve everything that's happened to me in the past few years. Scummy old woman."

"Hey." I reached up and gently moved her chin so she was facing me, and her eyes grew wide and fearful. "Don't talk about yourself like that. It's not fair. Those two are wrong."

"How are they wrong? I got a student killed, and now I'm feeling way too much for another. I'm a monster, Makoto-chan."

Smiling, I leaned a little closer. "Don't you mean 'Niijima-san'?"

"Right. That thing."

"You aren't a monster. And you aren't scummy. You're a beautiful, smart-"

"I can't take any more compliments," she laughed shakily as my face got closer. "I can't take any more of this, no matter how much I…"

"What? No matter how much… you want it?" I guessed.

All she could do was nod before our lips made contact.

Kissing Sadayo was both everything I had ever dreamed it could be, and nothing like I expected. Which didn't seem to fit together very neatly, since those feelings were such different shapes. It was warmth, and softness, and openness… passion and comfort mixing like fire and water. And now that I had tried it…

I could no longer imagine kissing a man. That easily. As much as I still couldn't believe I was with a woman, it felt so right that I didn't want to question it anymore; didn't think it was necessary. Her mouth was sweet and warm and open to me, and as our lips kneaded each other, I craved more, I leaned up harder against her, my arm wrapping around her back to keep her close.

"Shit," she breathed when we finally broke apart. Only then did I realise her hand had come to rest on my upper arm, another around my waist.

"Huh? I mean… hey."

"Hey." Swallowing hard, eyes swimming with the threat of tears, she went on, "I'm… just… it's not fair."

"What isn't fair?"

"That a little girl just gave me the best kiss of my life."

Blushing though I was, I managed to protest, "I'm not a little girl. I'm a grown woman; I just so happen to be in school, that's all."

"You'll be 'grown' when you can order that wine at a restaurant," she muttered, and I couldn't help smiling. "This is still a really… terrible idea, but…"

"It's good, though?" I insisted on knowing. "You're not just flattering me? I've never kissed anyone before."

"Stop reminding me how young you are," she whined. But when she saw me biting my lip, she closed her eyes and whispered, "The best. You just barely beat out Katsuya from my high school; he was really good, too. Like, legendary."

"Wow, high school must have been a really long time ago. How do you even remember?" When her eyes flew open, I dipped my head. "Teasing. O-or trying to. You really shouldn't shame yourself so much for this happening; it was… fate."

Her hand began to caress up and down my arm, and I felt the goosebumps dimpling and shifting under the light touch. "You believe in that stuff? Like fate? Oh - right, you still owe me a reading."

"Reading?" Her heeled foot raised up and waggled just in the corner of my vision, and I smiled bashfully. "Oh yeah… I don't know why I thought that would work."

"Honestly, I wasn't sure why you were asking about my shoe size until I saw the heels in the bathroom. So it did work; it just was very suspicious. Like, what is solestry, anyway?!"

"It's a real practice!" When she squinted at me, I shrugged and admitted, "So maybe it's not very widespread…"

"If you wanna play with my feet again, just ask. You don't have to make up fortune-telling excuses; I don't even believe in tarot cards or any of that."

Sure I was beet red by now, I whispered, "Wh-why are you so sure I'm some pervert? I just liked giving you a massage!"

"You did kiss them," she laughed. "And I'm teasing. But you keep getting all flustered, so if you want me to stop my teasing and let you play with them… just say the word and I will. I mean it."

"But you freaked out when we kissed. Why would that be any different? Because they're only feet?"

"In a word… yeah?" We both laughed. "Okay, okay, so you're not into it. I just… I don't know, I'm trying to think outside the box. Things that won't be as dangerous as that kiss was a few seconds ago. Do you want to take another bath?"

"Only if we're both naked."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Sadayo was still gulping and gaping at me when I hastily averted my gaze to stare at the wall, my fingers flexing where they rested against her shoulderblade. Seconds ticked by in silence as we tried to figure out how to recover from that line.

"So…"

"Maybe we should go back to eating," Sadayo whispered.

"I thought you lost your appetite."

"I did. But um… that kiss kind of… woke it back up. So either I satisfy it that way, or…"

My eyes lifted to meet hers, and I was aware of how close our mouths still were. "Or we could do it in a fun way?"

"No. We really shouldn't do that. I want to, I… guess there's no point pretending I don't, but it's still a bad idea."

"I'm sorry I said such a stupid thing," I suddenly blurted. "I thought it would be funny, or flirty, but instead it sounded… kind of… scary."

"Yeah," she agreed with a hard swallow as she pulled me tighter against her side. "But I know you weren't doing that on purpose; I'm… this is why you don't date somebody nine years younger than you, right? They don't have the same experiences you do. I've been around the block a few times; you just got to the neighbourhood."

"Then show me. You're already my teacher at Shujin; teach me this, too. How to do it right instead of… of messing up and making you feel bad."

"This is not what 'sex education' is supposed to mean, you know," she chuckled. I smiled a little along with her.

"Let's finish dinner. I feel like you don't want to try more because you're worried about too many things, so maybe it's smarter if… we don't keep sitting on my bed."

A long whine issued from her mouth. "I kissed a teenager. On her goddamn bed, I must be out of my mind!"

"Yeah, but… think of it this way." I couldn't help smiling up at her as I whispered playfully, "You're hot enough to get a teenager to kiss you. On her goddamn bed. Has to count for something."

That did at least earn a giddy laugh from her as she facepalmed. "Sure. It means I'm a real vixen for a predator, right?"

"Hey, don't call yourself that," I scolded her, eyes darkening a little. I saw her blink in surprise at how insistent I was. "Not ever again. I'm the one who's been chasing you, not the other way around; that makes you an herbivore, I think."

"Well… I… sure, yeah," she admitted with a weary nod. "You're right, let's go eat. That duck was really good and I feel terrible that we kind of flirted our way out of finishing it."

"You really like my cooking?" I asked as we stood up, arms still loosely around each other. Now I was a lot shorter than her again - only because she was still wearing the heels. Which was at my insistence, so I had no one to blame but myself.

"Makoto, it was amazing. Where did you get that recipe?! Not that I can cook anything besides curry and instant ramen, anyway… what a failure of an adult I am."

"I think you're perfect," I breathed as we left the room. That only made her groan.

                                                    To Be Continued…

#Queen Of Temperance #persona 5 fanfiction #p5 fanfic #makoto niijima #sadayo kawakami #forkanna writes #jess the writer

[marveliciousfanfics]

Tiffany Blue 1/1

A/N: Hi, my name is Kari and this is my first one-shot here. This is just something to get my feet wet. I have several stories planned. I know there are many blogs of fanfics, but one more can’t hurt to follow, right? Please excuse any errors. I have a full time job, so posting might not be often, but hopefully it’ll be good quality.

“How about yellow?” I suggested to Caitlin on our way to work. I was giving her ideas for the color dresses for the bridesmaids. As Maid of Honor we had to come to a decision soon. Her wedding was going to be in a year and there so much to do.

“Gross, no,” she made a face because I knew she hated the color and I laughed. “Maybe blue?”

Our eyes met and we both said ‘Tiffany Blue!’ and then we laughed together. People gave us looks, but we ignored them. On our way, we passed Alexander Pierce. He was waiting for the rest of the World Council to arrive. Everyone knew they were coming since we all got an email to come to work immediately because Project Insight was going to be launched. Caitlin and I were part of the project, so we had to cut our brunch short to come to work. 

“Have you thought about who you’re going to have as your plus one?” she elbowed me in the rib as we got into the elevator. Others joined in.

I shrugged. “This thing,” meaning Project Insight, “has been my life for years. I haven’t really had a chance to look.” A lie since I was looking at a certain person since he was defrosted, but that was never, ever going to happen.

“If you’d get over your silly crush on that old man, you’d see there’s some decent guys here. Like Rumlow. I’ve seen him check you out,” she giggled.

I shushed her embarrassed by the people hearing. “Ew, no, dude gives me the creeps. Don’t trust him.”

“You can’t judge a person without knowing them.”

I sighed. “True, but…I don’t want to know him.”

We got to our floor and already there was chaos. Caitlin and I turned to each other and sighed. This was our life, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. We met at the academy. We went through everything together. We encouraged each other. She pushed me and I pushed her. Our friendship only grew stronger with time and I trusted her with my life. We made our way to our designated area. I placed my earpiece in and cracked my fingers.

“You really shouldn’t do that,” Caitlin said in a sing-song voice, but she always warned me and I never listened.

“I like doing it. It relaxes me,” I reminded her as I logged in. She just shook her head.

We were told to get everything ready for the launch. My job was to make sure no one got through the security system. I was very, very good at my job.

“Attention all SHIELD agents,” were the words that forever changed my world. I turned to Caitlin and we both shared confused expressions. “This is Steve Rogers. You’ve heard a lot about me over the last few days,” Steve continued. Agent 13 was right behind us overlooking that everything was going smoothly. Everyone looked up from their screens and listened.

“Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was. It’s been taken over by HYDRA,” there were audible gasps including mine. “Alexander Pierce is their leader,” my stomach rolled. I had met Secretary Pierce and shook his hand. I had admired him. “The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well,” I turned to my best friend again and she had her eyebrows furrowed.

Her hand was on her gun that we were taught to use. She and I had decided that after New York it was best to always be prepared, so we were trained in combat. She did better than I did, but I still passed.

“I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next you,” Steve went on. Caitlin stood up and I stood up with her slowly and looked around the room. We all started to look at each other with doubt, except for Caitlin. I’ve known her for ten years and I knew she trusted me.

“They almost have what they want. Absolute control,” my mind went to Project Insight and what it could do and it didn’t take me long to connect the pieces. It made me sick to my stomach to think I helped with the project. I had designed the firewalls and I knew they were the best of the best. It was why SHIELD recruited me. “They shot Nick Fury,” the hairs of the back of my neck stood up. I had met Director Fury and worked with him because of what I was doing for Insight. I was sad when I heard the news. He was a tough man, but I knew he was a good man at heart. “And it won’t end there. If you launch those hellcarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them. I know I’m asking a lot. But the price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.”

The tension in the room grew, but no one said anything. Until we heard footsteps and it was Agent Rumlow coming towards Ben—one of the launch technicians. His cold eyes scanned the room and they landed on me. He didn’t bother to give me a second glance, not surprising. He stopped next to Ben—towered over him.

“Preempt the launch sequence. Send those ships now,” Rumlow ordered.

Ben was clearly flustered as would any good person would be. If he had been HYDRA he would have done it.

“Is there a problem?” he asked Ben and I moved my hand to my gun holster slowly.

“Um…” Ben shook his head and all attention was on him.

“Is there a problem?” Rumlow repeated but clearly out of patience.

“I’m sorry sir,” Ben’s voice trembled. He started to breathe heavily. I knew he had anxiety problems, so I was hoping he was not going to have an attack now because I had a feeling Rumlow was not going to go away easily. He made eye contact with me and I pleaded him to be strong and do not launch anything. “I’m not gonna launch those ships. Captain’s order.” I sighed in relief.

Rumlow withdrew his gun and moved behind Ben pointing it at his head. “Move away from your station,” he told him.

Agent 13 moved and reveled her own gun and pointed it to Rumlow. “Like he said,” then everyone started to draw their weapons. I took mine out and pointed it at Rumlow. “Captain’s order.”

This was the first time I had pulled out my gun to anyone, so it was shaking a little. I knew I had guns pointed at me, but there was one that caught my eye. I turned slightly to my left and saw Caitlin pointing her gun at me. My whole world shattered at the sight of her. Her eyes were no longer friendly.

“You picked the wrong side, Agent,” Rumlow said to Agent 13.

“Cait?” I whispered to her in confusion.

“Don’t make me pull the trigger,” she whispered back.

Anger bubbled in me. My best friend worked for HYDRA. All of this time she was bad. And I shared everything with her. I let her meet my family. I met her own family. Did they know? Were they a part of it? Was our friendship a lie?

“Depends on where you’re standing,” Agent 13 said to Rumlow who had pushed the end of his gun to Ben’s head. I couldn’t look away from Caitlin though. She was a sweet person. Who held doors open for other people. Who never spoke a bad word about anyone—even when I wanted to talk shit. Ten years. Had she been HYDRA all this time?

“How long?” the question barely escaped my throat.

“Since we met,” she answered coldly. “You were my mission. Get close. Gather info.”

The more she spoke the more my heart and soul broke.

“Why?” I croaked.

“I was supposed to…recruit you without you knowing,” she shrugged. In a way she succeeded since I did the dirty deed for them. I helped built Project Insight.

I wish I could have asked more, but Rumlow had dropped his weapon and then used his knife to attack Agent 13. Then all hell broke loose. Everyone started to shoot at the STRIKE team. Caitlin shot towards me, but not at me. She hit an Agent coming to my rescue. I ducked to avoid the other shots and started to run away. But it didn’t take her long to catch up with me. She caught me by my hair. I used what I learned and got out of it and in the process landed a punch. My hand hurt like hell, but at least I got away.

The corridors were completely chaos. Agents shooting other agents. A lot of familiar faces trying to shoot me down.

I needed to help, but I didn’t know how. I wasn’t that good at hand-to-hand combat. I was good with computers. I needed to slow down the bad guys. Captain America got that message out at communications, so I knew that would be the place to go. I dodged a lot of people on my way. I decided to use the stairs to get to that level and I heard someone behind me when I was a floor away. Caitlin had caught up to me. My feet pushed me faster, but again I wasn’t fast enough. She caught up to me and just as I was about to open the door, she slammed my head against it.

Everything started to spin and it wasn’t long before the pain kicked up. I noticed my gun had fallen, but she kicked it away from me and it stopped close to the door.

“Can’t let you help them,” she spoke, but her voice sounded far away. God, pain sucked.

“How could you…be doing this?” I said through my teeth. I needed to buy time. “HYDRA is evil!” I was finally regaining some of my senses.

“HYDRA is going to bring order!” she protested back. “You’ve seen the world we live in! Aliens are real. Gods are real and we are not united. Earth should be united to keep ourselves protected. HYDRA will bring us together. You could do some good with us. You are really, really good.”

“You know why I joined,” I glared at her. “You know how I feel about HYDRA. They only wish to have all the power. Power can’t belong to just one group.”

“Don’t dwell on thoughts like that. If I can’t recruit you, then you are the enemy and I will stop you,” she raised her gun to me again.

“Cait, we’ve known each other for years. You’ve met my family,” I only felt the tears after they fell. But I couldn’t wipe them. I needed to talk to her. “Please, you can’t do this.”

Her hand tightened around the gun. Her finger on the trigger. Her eyes held so much warmth once. I had considered her the sister I never had. A part of me knew she was too far gone. But a bigger part of me hoped I could change her mind.

“Your family went through the holocaust, Caitlin, and they only survived because of Captain America. You’re standing here…pointing a gun at me because he sacrificed himself to give us a world without HYDRA.”

“Cut the head and two more will take its place,” she said and it brought chills down my spine. “If you won’t come willingly, I’ll make you.” She tried to punch me, but I was able to dodge it. It seemed the training stuck to me more than I thought. Or maybe it was the adrenaline helping me fight back. I dodged and dodged and blocked. She was a natural whilst I struggled with every move.

Caitlin moved swiftly, but I could tell she was holding back. Maybe a part of her cared for me. I needed to reach that part. She could have killed me already, yet, here we were fighting. I definitely wasn’t a fighter, but I was so happy we had taken those lessons or else I wouldn’t have been able to keep up.

At one point, I was able to kick her gun away and it fell down the stairs. My own gun that was on the ground was the only one left. It was close to the door and between us. We both jumped for it. I held it in my hands as she tried to pull it away. I felt my finger on the trigger and then I squeezed it accidently.

The shot echoed in the stairwell. Caitlin stopped struggling. Her eyes widened a bit and so did mine.

“No, no, no,” I started as she fell to the floor with a gunshot to her stomach. Blood started to come out quickly. I didn’t want to pull it, but during the struggle it happened. Blood started coming out of her mouth. “Cait! Cait!” I screamed and threw the gun to the side and used my hands to cover her wound. I wasn’t sure why I did it. I knew she was going to die. “I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. My hands began to get covered in her blood.

She was struggling to breathe and it was because of me.

The door opened and I looked up to Maria Hill. Her eyes quickly assessed the situation.

Caitlin coughed so I looked down to her again. “Hail…HYDRA,” were Caitlin’s last words as I saw the life leave her eyes.

“Oh God,” I sobbed.

Maria took out her gun and pointed at me.

“Hands above your head. You one of them?” she pointed to Caitlin.

I shook my head as I looked down at my dead best friend. Just less than an hour ago we were planning her wedding. Two hours ago, we were having brunch. We had finally decided on the color to the bridesmaids dress: Tiffany Blue.

“You’re the agent who helped create Insight’s security system,” Agent Hill remembered me.

“On Nick Fury’s order,” I croaked. “I didn’t know I was doing it for HYDRA.”

“None of us knew,” she sighed. “You knew her?”

“She…I…” I thought about her question. Did I know Caitlin? I thought I did. Clearly that wasn’t the case. “I thought I did.” I hoped she knew what I meant.

“Come…we could use your help.”

I looked up to Maria Hill and stood up. My hands still covered in Caitlin’s blood. I wiped it off on my pants and followed her. Not sure what I could do, but I knew that I needed to help stop this. This was the price Steve Rogers was talking about. Freedom didn’t come without consequence. I had made my decision and so had Caitlin. Somehow I had to live with the fact that I didn’t know her, not even a little bit and that I was the reason she was gone. But somehow I was going to go on.

#marvel #fanfic #steve rogers #captain america winter soldier #winter soldier #bucky barnes #writing #marveliciousfanfics

[yamigooops]

Avis Draconis

Pairing - Gajevy

Type - AU: Dragons and fairies because I’m trash for that trope

Words - 4334

Note: this was originally gonna be something for Gajevy love fest, so I’m still gonna put the tag, but I decided to post it now bc I’m too in love with it to wait until the day I was gonna post it. Also, this is going to become an actual fanfic, so here is the link to the story! Thanks for all the support so far <3

Levy let out a weak cry as she slid down the cold iron bar, too exhausted to stand any longer, much less throw herself against the cage like she had been. The frigid metal seemed to continually sap the life right out of her veins, and it was all she could do to keep the tears that blurred her vision from falling.

The dragon had thrown her in this cage, then up and left. He was probably preparing his torturous means of killing her. He’d probably start by cutting up her wings before tearing them off. Each slice in the thin membrane would cause her immense pain. Then, for all she knew he might even decide to break her flight bones before he even tore them from her back. The thought made her curl even further into herself and conceal her frightened form with those large wings he’d go for first.

The silvery feathers along the bottom of the membrane were out of place and mangled. The gold ones lining the bones at the top were patchy and dull. Her species of fairy, the ancient Avis people of the south, were a prideful one. So the sight of her plumage in such poor condition brought a feeling of shame upon her.

Not that its appearance was her fault though…

At the sound of footsteps approaching, she scrambled back from the door of the cage. But these footsteps sounded different than the ones she heard when the dragon left. She wasn’t sure how long ago that was, but she knew it had been a fair amount of time. So the sound of these new footsteps lit a dark curiosity in her. They echoed off the stone walls in what she could only assume was the dragon’s aerie, though it was dismal and bare, with only two windows and a dragon-sized door that had been slammed shut after they arrived.

“I’ve heard much about your people,” came a gruff voice from the darkness. She could only assume that it came from the same creature as the footsteps. “The prideful fairies of the south, the powerful, legendary Avis who come out only when the sun is at its peak, and when the moon is at its fullest.”

The torch on the wall near the cage only illuminated so far into the darkness, and whomever was now circling her stayed just outside its reach.

“I say you’re just arrogant fools who’ve hidden in your enchanted forest for far too long,” the voice hissed. Judging from it, she could tell it was a man, though she could not glean what species he was from the few words he had spoken. “You value your knowledge and your wings more than anything, so you have failed to notice all the changes going on in the world outside your borders…”

“You call me arrogant,” she croaked, her throat feeling like a desert. “Yet you keep company with a dragon. That seems to me both foolish AND arrogant…”

The man chuckled, the sound bouncing off the walls to give the feeling that his laughter was surrounding her. The next thing she knew, a hand reached through the bars at her back to take hold of her narrow chin and turn her around to face him.

“My poor little fairy, that dragon and I are practically one in the same,” he grinned. The sight of him took her breath away to the point that she had no response.

A wild mane of unkept black hair fell down his back, which was covered by a thick, luxurious cape. He had on a dark shirt with a high neck and no sleeves, giving a full view of his muscular, scarred arms. His light pants were tucked into worn leather boots to complete the look. But even more captivating was his face. A sharp jawline and prominent cheekbones gave him a very angular appearance. One odd thing about him though was the piercings scattered about his face. Three lined either side of the bridge of his nose, four were fastened in the place of both of his eyebrows, and two dotted the space between his lower lip and chin. His ears were littered with even more metal studs, and she found herself wondering what they felt like.

The grin that still cut across his face exposed his bright white teeth. Upon closer inspection, his canines were much longer - not to mention sharper - than any normal fae’s. Dragging her gaze away from them, she hesitantly brought it up to meet his own, then instantly regretted the decision. Once they made eye contact, she felt that she was paralyzed in her seat. His irises were the color of freshly spilled blood, and they bore hungrily into her soul. A stroke of fear shot through her, and she mustered all her will to tear away from his grasp and scramble away from him. Huddling on the opposite side of the cage, she concealed her body once more with her bird-like wings, leaving her head free to watch him skeptically.

“Aww come on little fairy. I just wanted to play a little,” he gave a dramatic pout as he took hold of the bars in front of him and hung almost seductively against them. “What do you think I’m gonna do, clip your precious little wings?”

“No, I’m sure the dragon will take care of that,” she muttered, voice wavering slightly at the thought.

“Come now, you really think that big metal head has enough use of his paws to be able to rip the wings off a teeny fairy like yourself?” He scoffed, straightening and slowly making his way around the cage toward her. He took a slow pace, emphasizing each step and clasping his hands behind his head. “If anything, should he decide he wants your wings clipped, he’d have me do it. But I don’t think that’s his intention…”

She hesitated, staying very still as the man continued to approach her. “T-Then what is his intention…if you know him as well as you claim?”

He sighed, coming to a stop behind her. He reached through the bars once again, but this time much more gently, to tug her closer to him. “I think it’s something much simpler than that, little fairy…” he murmured as he leaned down to nearly brush his nose to hers.

“Tell me…please…” It came out no louder than a whisper.

“Maybe he was captivated.” The sound of metal clinking against metal did not even register to her in that moment. “Maybe he wanted to keep you for himself.” The door was suddenly unlocked and opened, but Levy still was not free, as the man was suddenly situated atop her slight frame, his long legs straddling her waist and her arms pinned gently above her head with one of his hands.

“Maybe he wants to make you queen of all the lands he rules over instead of letting you become queen of that silly little forest. I’ve watched for two centuries as the war between the dragons and fae raged on, just waiting for a chance to end it, and I finally found that when you were named heir to the throne…”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been watching for two centuries? I’m the answer to the end of the-” Her voice trailed off as realization dawned on her. “Y-you… you’re the dragon aren’t you?” Terror coursed through her veins, but so did something else. Something much sweeter, much softer.

His expression changed slightly, looking almost guilty. “And what would you do if I said yes?” It was his turn to speak in no more than a whisper. “Would you run away terrified like all the rest of your kind? Would you refuse any consolation or friendship I might offer? No, I don’t think you would do that…” His free hand moved to slowly brush the strands of blue hair away from her face, almost lovingly. He then trailed it down her side until he reached her once awe-inspiring wings. “I thoroughly apologize for what I did to your wings, little one. It can be a bit difficult for a matured dragon to catch a fairy as quick as you. I foolishly hoped there’d be little or no collateral damage, but obviously I was mistaken.” Regret tinged his voice, almost making her believe him.

“If you say you’ve been around for two centuries, why did you wait for me to end this war? It’s claimed the lives of millions of fae and thousands of dragons…” Her voice was colored with fear still, and she didn’t try to stop it from trembling.

“Because I was the dragon that started it in the first place…” he admitted after a moment, not meeting her gaze.

“You aren’t-” She gasped quietly. “Black Steel Gajeel, the Iron King of the Dragons.”

“Do I frighten you a little more now? Does the name strike terror in your heart? I know I was the cause of all these deaths, and I wish I would’ve known two centuries ago what havoc it would bring. But I cannot let the rest of my brethren die off into extinction, nor do I have any more desire to bring destruction to your kind.” He dropped his head slightly, his face now hidden from her sight.

As his grip on her hands loosened, Levy slipped one free with ease, before hesitantly placing it under his chin to make him look at her. His skin was hot to the touch, and smoother than she would have expected from such a rugged looking man. “I think I understand why you brought me here then…” she admitted.

He glanced to his sides as movement caught his eye. But it was simply her wings, rising around him. Their impressive span was more than enough to wrap around the large man above her, and she nearly laughed at the fascinated look on his face as he inspected the feathered barrier around him.

“But I think I’d rather hear your explanation…”

He visibly swallowed, looking almost nervous. Never in a thousand years would Levy have thought she could make a dragon, much less their king, look nervous…

“I want to bring this cursed war to an end, my little fairy.”

Gathering her courage once more, she smiled ever so slightly. “Is that all you want? I find it hard to believe that the mighty Iron King would want just one thing of a lowly fairy like me.”

“You are no lowly fairy. You are Princess Levy McGarden, Heir to the throne of Avion, future ruler of the lands of Fiore and all the fae who reside within its borders. I may be king of the dragons, but if there is any creature to equal my power, it is you, both in status and magical ability.” He gazed down at her with such intensity that her heart fluttered in her chest. “I would like nothing more than for you to remain here by my side. Only together can we bring this fighting to an end. And only together would we be able to lead into the future to assure it does not occur again.”

“Convince me, o dragon king… why should I listen to a word you’re saying? I cannot deny that, while I’m tempted to accept your offer,” Levy hesitated, letting her fingers slowly trail down his neck to tug down the collar of his shirt. “I’m sure it would be an unlawful relationship in every meaning of the word. And while I’ll admit, you’re quite handsome…” Raising herself up on her already freed arm, she tugged the other from his grasp and wrapped it around the back of his neck. Only when they were nearly nose-to-nose did she finish. “Tell me how you wish to atone for all the sins that dirty those hands of yours.”

The almost stunned look on his face gave her enough self confidence to stay in that position. Otherwise, she’d have blushed so intensely she’d have burned to a crisp! But that confidence was tested as he gave a low chuckle. Here she was, trying her hardest to be intimidating and hopefully appealing, and he had the audacity to laugh at her… Anger tinged her expression as he stopped.

“I apologize, my little princess. This was much more than I’d expected. Had I known this would be the route you would decide to take me on, I’d have prepared a room for you to do with me as you saw fit, instead of leaving you in a cage…” As his words brought a deep blush to her cheeks, he ducked his head to press his lips softly to her neck. The tenderness of the gesture sent a chill down her spine.

He continued on after a moment of kissing her sweet skin. “So I hope it suits your needs-” he paused again, this time to look up at her. “If I offer my personal chambers instead.” With that, he allowed his lips to return to her neck, this time with the addition of gentle teeth scraping against her creamy skin.

Her wings slowly fell away from the pair as she felt herself going nearly limp at the feeling. As they made contact with the metal floor of the cage, she felt him slip one arm under the small of her back, and one beneath her head in what she thought was a mere romantic gesture. While she may have been partially correct, a strange leathery sound drew her attention away from the feeling of his mouth.

Opening her eyes, she drew in a quiet gasp. Above her rose a pair of metallic-looking dragon’s wings that put her own to shame, both in appearance and span. Gajeel gave her neck one last nibble before grinning down at her. The next thing she knew, they were out of the cage and soaring through the cavernous passages of the Iron Dragon’s stronghold. She was tucked against his broad, muscular chest, her wings folded tight against her back as his pumped thunderously above her.

Just as she had grown accustomed to the feeling of flying without her own wings, they were slowing to a stop. It was then that she realized that her arms were secured around his neck, and her body was pressed flush against his. As he folded his wings to his back, allowing the thick cape to cover them once again, she looked at him in wonder.

“Would you like to hang on my neck all night princess, or would you like to try and get at least a wink of sleep?” He grinned as that adorable blush spread over her cheeks once again. She released her hold on him, only to be lowered about a foot to the ground by his strong hands on her waist. She then truly realized how much larger he was in comparison to her.

As he turned to push open a set of enormous metal doors, she made to follow, but froze at the sight that awaited her. She had thought the previous cave was his aerie, but she was surely mistaken. This cavern put the previous one to shame. Mountains of treasure rose up along the curved wall, and six tall pillars carved to look like incredibly realistic dragons helped support the ceiling, from which hung an ornate crystal chandelier lit with hundreds of light lacrima. But the center of the space was what truly caught her attention.

A smaller collection of treasures surrounded a raised platform that contained what appeared to be some type of nest. The treasures there looked much more valuable than those along the walls, as this horde contained crowns and treasure chests overflowing with jewels. While the surrounding ones glittered gold, this pile glittered every color of the rainbow, reflecting the light from the chandelier above.

She took slow steps toward the altar as Gajeel watched her with his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. She looked so small and fragile against the backdrop of his chamber. All the metal and treasure surrounding her, with her tattered wings and torn dress. Yet he truly believed that, should it ever come to pass, he would protect her with more ferocity than he would ever protect any of the treasure that he had gathered over the last two centuries.

She paused at the steps to the altar and glanced back at him as he stood in the doorway. Receiving a nod of approval, she ascended the stone steps to the place where his nest was perched. She circled the structure slowly, noticing the iron shell on the outside, and running her hand along the large pillows that lined the edge of it. It was very much akin to the nests her own people slept in, but on a much, much larger scale. As she reached the back of it, she paused to look up at Gajeel. With a look of dangerous curiosity and mischief, she unfurled her wings and leapt into the air.

Her plan was to simply fly up a little ways then fall softly into the nest. But her battered wings had other ideas. She only pumped her wings twice, before pain shot through them and her face contorted. Before she could even start to fall toward the nest, Gajeel was there, arms holding her protectively against himself as she tried her hardest not to cry out from the pain.

He slowly lowered them to the nest, placing her gently among the blankets and pillows before moving to inspect her wings. He moved his fingers carefully along the bone of her left wing, then finding it intact, he moved to the right one. He found that it wasn’t in fact broken, but there was a patch of skin along the bone that was heavily irritated. The feathers there were torn up and several were missing. Guilt welled up in his chest as he folded his wings once again and called out in a language Levy couldn’t understand.

“I’m so sorry my little fairy, I’ll get you patched up in no time,” he murmured into her hair. He gently pulled her into his lap, keeping her injured wing free. She laid against his chest for a long moment, before he felt her stir. She reached up to undo the clasp at his throat, letting the heavy cape fall away and leaving his wings exposed. Looking up at him, he nodded with a smile as he got what she was silently asking.

He slowly unfurled he left wing, bringing it forward so she could see it. He smiled at the look of wonder that came to her face as she gazed silently at it. She reached out a tentative hand to run her fingers over the length of his flight bone. After she reached the end of it, she trailed her fingertips down the leathery membrane of the wing itself, fascinated as she brushed over the bones extending down from the main one through the membrane to end in a little claw at the edge of the wing. The structures were so foreign to her, so captivating, that she didn’t even notice someone else entering the chamber.

“Gajeel, I have what you asked for,” came a clear, deep voice from the doorway. With a start, Levy looked up at Gajeel in confusion, and he nodded with a smile before looking toward the door.

“Thank you Pantherlily. You can bring it in.” With his wing in front of her, Levy couldn’t see who was approaching. So she slowly peeked around the large obstruction only to be dumbstruck at the sight.

A small black cat approached them carrying a bag full of what appeared to be medical supplies over his shoulder. The cat wore a pair of billowy olive green pants and walked on two legs, and as she glanced around, she decided it had to have been him that spoke before.

Retracting his wing and returning it to his back, Gajeel watched Levy’s expression carefully. She looked astonished as the little Exceed approached them, and it brought a smile to his face. As Lily stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the nest, he bowed low, a gesture he had long since abandoned with Gajeel.

“Why bow now Lily? You haven’t done that in decades? Gajeel chuckled.

“The bow wasn’t for you screwhead. It was for her highness, Princess Levy of Avion,” the cat rolled his eyes. Levy laughed quietly, relaxing slightly against Gajeel’s chest.

“I like him,” she murmured to the dragon beside her.

“Tch, just hand me the supplies and be on your way,” Gajeel grumbled. As the cat stepped up to hand him the bag, he clambered over the side of the nest to joint them, seemingly much to Gajeel’s annoyance.

“So, Pantherlily, you seem to know who I am, but I can’t say the same about you,” Levy smiled as Gajeel shifted beneath her. She extended the injured wing, then shifted so her back was pressed to Gajeel’s chest so he could reach it with greater ease. She could have sworn he held his breath as she moved. “Where do you hail from?”

“I am an Exceed from the kingdom of Exlandia, a far away country where creatures like myself thrive. It’s nice to finally have someone around here to talk to about things as trivial as this,” he chuckled and shot a playful look at Gajeel. The dragon scoffed as he gently spread a salve over the injured area. It stung a bit at first, but after a moment Levy sighed as it soothed the pain.

“So tell me, what makes you stick around here Pantherlily?” She asked curiously.

“Gajeel saved me from many a battle when we were younger. Without his ugly mug, I wouldn’t be alive today. So I suppose it’s because we’ve formed a friendship. Or maybe I’m just too scared to fight with that dragon he hides inside that skin of his…” The little cat shuddered at some unspoken memory, which spiked Levy’s curiosity before she decided it would be better not to ask.

She inhaled sharply, trying to keep her wing still as she felt the ever unpleasant sensation of feathers being plucked from her skin. “What are you doing?” She hissed, turning to see what Gajeel was getting at.

“I’m sorry, but these feathers aren’t going to regrow unless they’re-”

“Removed, I know,” she cut him off. “But there are less painful ways of going about that, you know.” Her voice was colored in thinly veiled annoyance. “Let me handle this part. I won’t lose a single feather more than I have to.”

Rolling his eyes, Gajeel eased her off his legs to stand up. “Also know that your left wing is swollen near the base. Don’t fly for a while, I won’t have you injuring yourself further.” Stepping to the edge of the nest, he hopped out onto the altar. “I’ll be back.”

Her sense of safety wavered, and mild anger washed over her. “It’s not as though I asked to be injured and captured by a dragon today,” she muttered to herself. His footsteps halted, and she looked up to see him turn on his heel to face her.

“Do you want to end this war or not? Would you not sacrifice yourself for the sake of your people? Because I sure as hell would. I figured this would be the best alternative to one, or even both of us, having to die…” he retorted.

“You could have at least offered a treaty. Had you tried to arrange this peacefully, I would be much more open-minded to the idea, not to mention my wings wouldn’t look like a fledgling who fell out of her nest!” She replied somewhat defiantly.

In an instant, he was back in front of her, but now she was pressed against the pillows on the edge of the nest. His wings were flared out around him, and with the light from above him casting his face in darkness, she felt a true spike of fear run through her body.

“It can be a bit difficult to write out a treaty when you never learned to write in the language of your enemy,” he hissed, his eyes nearly glowing with frustration.

She was silent for a moment, letting his words sink in. Of course he wouldn’t know how to write in Fiorean. He was a dragon from the north. Up here they spoke Draconic, a long forgotten language in Fiore. Merely four fae still knew the language from the time before the war, and they were incredibly difficult to get in contact with. So should a treaty come to the queen of Fiore in Draconic, it would have taken an exceptionally long time to get it translated.

“I’ll make a deal with you then,” she proposed as an idea came to mind.

“What is your deal little fairy? I’m interested to know what you could offer.” His wings slowly lowered to his back, but his expression hardly softened.

“Teach me Draconic, and in return I will teach you to write Fiorean. I know it’s not much, but all I can really offer you is knowledge. I was a scholar, a magic wielder. I’m sure we would both benefit from this deal, just think it over…”

Since she was a little girl, some hundred years ago, she had always been fascinated with the dragons that plagued her people. She had heard tales of their complex language, and had dreamt of learning it. So the thought of finally being able to have a chance at learning even a bit of the difficult language intrigued her.

He hesitated, standing to his full height above her. “I’ll consider it.” Then he was walking away again, leaving her and a dumbstruck Pantherlily in his nest to tend to her wings.

#Avis Draconis #gajevy #gajevy fanfic #gajevy week #gajevylovefest #gajeel redfox #levy mcgarden #gajeel x levy #fairy tail #fairy tail fanfic #ftfanfics #fuckyeahgajevy #black steel gajeel #fairy tail au #gajevy au #mine #my post #my writing

[velkynkarma]

End of Year Fic Meme

Better late than never, right? Keeping Parasite Knight posting on a daily basis was kind of exhausting so I didn’t have a chance to fill this out at the start of the year. Now I have time!

Thanks @maychorian for tagging me, sorry it took so long to get to it.

Stats:

List of Fics Posted:

Identity Crisis (38,460 words) (Young Justice, multi-chapter adventure team fic, complete) Routine Maintenance (50,777 words) (Voltron, multi-chapter, Shiro-centric with team features, complete) The Nature of Leadership (10,837 words) (Voltron, one-shot, Shiro-centric) Road Trip to End Times (12,649 words) (Voltron, multi-chapter, AU, paladin-centric, still ongoing)

Bonus: Parasite Knight (86,840 words) (Voltron, multi-chapter, Shiro-centric, complete) (was 100% written in 2016 but not posted until 2017)

Plus an assorted 5,636 words of notes for future stories

Total number: 4 (5 with Parasite Knight) Total Word count: 112,723 published in 2016 199,563 including Parasite Knight

Ship/Character Breakdown: No actual ships. All gen. Character focus: Robin/Dick Grayson 1, Shiro 2 (3 with Parasite Knight). But, RM, PK and Road Trip all have character focus on the whole Voltron team, so…not sure how to count that.

Do I favor Shiro? Yes, maybe a little bit, ahahaha.

Specifics:

Best/worst title?

Best title: I’m really partial to Routine Maintenance, even if the name doesn’t fit all the chapters particularly well. I also really like Parasite Knight because I struggled to come up with a title for that one, and that popped into my head. It was both fitting on multiple levels and it rhymed. ALSO it meant I got to call my writing file “Parasite Write” and I’m not gonna lie that really entertained me for stupid reasons. 

 Worst title: Road Trip to End Times. Titles are super hard for me to come up with and I was kind of in a rush to get the first of the prompts I’d written posted, so I just kinda took whatever first came to mind and slapped it in there. 


Best/worst first line?

 Best: “Shiro can’t put this off any longer.” ~The Nature of Leadership 
I kinda like that it immediately leaves you wondering, ‘wait, WHAT can’t he put off any longer?’ It’s a hook that means you gotta keep reading.

Worst: “It’s a miserable, exhausted, sweaty, mud-coated team of paladins that Shiro leads back to the Castle of Lions, after three days of trekking through the swamp-infested lands of the planet Ssagessh.” ~Routine Maintenance

This was my debut fic so I was still getting a feel for the fandom. I knew I had ideas that people would probably like, but I was a little worried that the first chapter I had chosen to start off with might not attract a lot of attention. It’s not a terrible opening but it had a kind of weak beginning.

Best/worst last line?

Best: “And, for the first time in a very long time, he feels surprisingly at peace.” ~Routine Maintenance Kind of funny that it gets the best last line but the worst first line. I really liked how the entire fic I was exploring Shiro’s difficulties and how frustrated he just was with his arm, and then finally I gave him a little peace at the end. It worked really well into the overall theme and I was really happy with the way this wrapped everything up, even if it was all individual scenarios and not one full fic. Worst: “He had a scientist to meet tonight, and it was an appointment he just couldn’t miss.” ~Identity Crisis I don’t really HATE this line per se, but it does require the context of the rest of the story to really make sense. Also, the entire last scene is completely unrelated to the main characters who had been the focus for the rest of the fic. I did it on purpose to replicate the way Young Justice episodes typically ended, but it also meant the character closure finished early, so this end didn’t have as much ZING as it probably could have.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? Honestly I hadn’t expected to write much of anything this year. I did Identity Crisis right at the beginning for a fanfic contest a friend of mine was throwing, but after that I just hadn’t gotten much of a creative spark out of anything. Most of the fandoms I’d been in were pretty dead or getting there. Or, in the case of Batman, alive but not something I really felt like writing for. I am genuinely shocked that I managed to kick out 161,103 words in the span of 3 months. That’s insane. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? Voltron. Hands down. I watched Voltron on a whim when I needed something to motivate me through a massive art project. I used it just to give myself a goal after reaching a specific workload, since I’d run out of fic in my fandoms to use instead. I was not expecting it to be all that impressive, I just needed something to fill my breaktimes with. How impressive could a show based on a silly 80’s cartoon about combining five robot space cats into a giant robot guy be? I was not expecting to fall in love with it. After that I loved the show, and checked out the fandom. Again, this is often a killer for me as a fandom might not produce the stuff I’m interested in, or the writers just aren’t very good. Happily for me I stumbled across @maychorian ‘s Boom Crash almost immediately upon searching in the fandom and was like ‘shit, people in this fandom can WRITE’ and decided to stick around and lurk a little more. Honestly I only ever intended to lurk. I never intended to write for it. But then something just…happened and I thought of some ideas that eventually turned into Routine Maintenance, and then people really liked it and I felt like writing more, and…well. Here I am.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

I am really really REALLY fond of Parasite Knight and I was long before it was posted, so I’m gonna count it here, since it had 0 feedback/kudos/comments/reviews/etc in 2016. It was difficult to write in some cases, partly because it’s so intense a lot and that’s hard to keep up sometimes, and partly because it got WAY longer than it was ever intended to be. Originally it was conceived as a (fairly large) oneshot, but I kept coming up with more and more ideas and details that I liked too much to get rid of, and then it turned into an 86K monstrosity. Also this one was a little therapeutic in some areas (particularly at the end), since it dug into some less than comfortable areas of my own head-space. It was a bit uncomfortable to write some of the later chapters at first, but once they were finished I felt a lot better for it. So yeah. PK is kind of special to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. It’s a little hard to judge but I think this one is Routine Maintenance. It definitely has the most kudos, and has the highest comments-to-chapter ratio. Story most underappreciated by the universe? Road Trip to End Times has comparatively little focus compared to the rest of my stuff. I don’t really find it surprising though since it’s a zombie AU and that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Story that could have been better? Honestly I was pretty satisfied with everything I wrote this year. Some parts of some stories could have been tweaked a little but I didn’t think any one fic had an overall major failing.

Sexiest story? lol sexiness in my stories that’s a good joke Saddest story? Nature of Leadership does pull at the heartstrings a little. Parasite Knight is also pretty agonizing through a lot of parts. Most fun? Routine Maintenance! It was really relaxing to just do individual pieces without having to sew a whole plot together. There was definitely a theme through the whole fic, but it was really nice to not have to worry about plot-holes and things. I was able to just write and I kicked out like a chapter a day because it was all self-contained. Plus I got to play with all kinds of different scenarios. It was fun. Story with single sweetest moment? There was some H/C in Parasite Knight that I really enjoyed writing, but I’m not sure if it’s sweet exactly since Shiro was still suffering (or only partly aware) through a lot of it. I guess if I had to pick something sweeter, either Ghost or Weight from Routine Maintenance. Both center around Shiro getting relief from his prosthetic-induced pain and he’s so genuinely shocked about it but so grateful. Hardest story to write? Parasite Knight. As stated above, it was hella long, it really got away from me, and there were some gritty parts that were difficult to write for personal reasons. Don’t regret it for a second though. Easiest/most fun story to write? Routine Maintenance. See above. Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters? Parasite Knight helped me get into all of the paladins’ heads better since I had to write out their core traits in quintessence form. That was an interesting character study that made me really pull apart what their defining traits were, versus their extraneous traits (ex. Hunk’s reliability/kindness being a core trait, while his goofiness or love of food are extra traits that are a part of him but don’t define his soul). It was a challenge but fun. Most overdue story? None, really. I don’t post anything until it’s fully written, so nothing can really be overdue since half the time nobody knows it’s due. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Kinda! Half writing risk, half social risk. After Routine Maintenance finished posting I hadn’t really intended to write more, but then @bosstoaster  commented on it. I was at work when I got the notification and had to literally leave my desk to keep from screaming in delight around all my coworkers, haha. Since I was a veritable Voltron n00b to the fandom I was blown away that one of the gen bigshots even noticed me. But I knew BT also did prompts, and I was like, “Okay, but I know BT also enjoyed my writing, so…maybe I could propose a fic trade?” So I offered to do a fic trade with BT, because I kinda also wanted to write more but didn’t have any ideas at the time, and also wanted to try prompts, which I needed more practice on. I think it turned out really well in the end and The Nature of Leadership was written. It was also a challenge for me because I had to take a prompt I hadn’t decided on and make it work, but I like that it made me think outside the box a little. What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Let’s see…


Just keep writing. Focus more on steady writing and not burst writing.


Try not to get hung up on details as much. I know this is a thing I’m most known for, but it’s also responsible for slowing me down or killing ideas/writing momentum completely, because I have to come up with a reason for everything even if it’s never shown. Have to learn to just loosen up and write sometimes, I don’t have to justify every detail.

Maybe try more prompts? Might help with the above goal.

Try to write shorter stuff. (HAH. Operative word here being ‘try’)

That was fun! Eeeeven if it was me basically talking about the same 4 fics over and over again lol.

#fanfic #fanfiction #writing #velkynkarma thoughts #writing meme #voltron #young justice

[raindrops-in-a-storm]

Also old, but newer

Whew! It's been a while since I last posted. A lot has happened, namely me getting into and going to college (after reluctantly taking a gap semester, but that's a longer story. Bottom line, I started college in January, not August).

I guess my emotions have been running high with coronavirus and school and being back home. So I...wrote another journal last night. I wanted to post it without editing, because I don't want to (can't, with my family all here) touch the raw emotions right now.

(I think my policy from now on will be to put journals under the read more link)

I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I just...broke down?? I don't exactly know why or why now, but something apparently pushed me over the edge (and I didn't even know that I was on the edge) and I just...started crying? Like full on bawling. Screwing my eyes up, if I was alone in the house there would have been loud sons, stuffy nose (let's hope Didi doesn't comment on me getting a tissue at midnight in the morning), the works. And I don't know what it is? I was reading a sad fanfic right before. But no, even with that, I was reacting stronger than I would normally (as in I shed a few tears and that doesn't usually happen with me. It's happened like twice that I can remember [and both from Ron fanfics wow there is probably something there]). Is it the whole virus situation? Am I stressed? I'm definitely not motivated right now, but I wasn't worried about that 'cause it's been slowly going away and of course I would feel unmotivated when there wasn't a proper transition from spring break to school. Is it because I'm home? That seems the most likely...I mean. College has been a pretty big deal for me for...four years? At least? Even more so in the past two and a half (AKA since junior year, maybe even sophomore spring when app stuff started). And a big part of that (though it took me a while to admit it and I don't think I'll ever admit it to the fam) was getting away from home. To be independent, yes definitely, but also honestly to get away from them. I wanted to get away from my family. I still do. I loved college: those eight weeks were incredible! Everyone told me that I would miss home but I didn't. At all (or at least very little). In fact, I'm at home and I miss college. I miss my friends and I miss my clubs and I miss the freedom and...Independence and lack of condescension and how it was a fresh start and home...isn't. In any way, shape, or form. It's even worse than the fall because Didi and Bhaiya are here and that's...it's hard. It's really, really hard. And I hate that it is, because they're my siblings and I love them, but I wanted to get away from them and I still do and being near them right now isn't helping matters at all and I'm forgetting why I love them so much because they're just so frustrating and so stupidly stubborn about not seeing me for who I've become and who I've been for years and who I want to become and anything about me that isn't their silly baby sister. (Great, I’ve started crying again.) Because I'm not that person and it's even more obvious now because I've finally had the chance to embrace myself and experiment and not be held back by past versions of myself and talk through my past with someone fully and completely and have them help me and not judge me and support me (AKA I’ve started going to counseling). I've finally started to gain my confidence back, but with that I've learned who I am. And it's not who they think I am. And those glorious, amazing, not perfect but pretty damn awesome eight weeks relaxed me enough that I let my guard down and now? Now it's taking so much effort to put them back up. Partially because I don't want to! I had weeks where I could be me, truly me, and it felt so good and so freeing and I don't want to go back to who I was before (that's kind of a lie. I've accepted that I can't go back to who I was before, and I've started to become proud of who I am now). And with my family? I have to. Because I can feel my life crumbling around me and I know now that I'm going to be stuck with them for six more months, unless I get a summer internship somewhere else, but I'm also screwed because people aren't hiring freshmen, especially now (both in terms of the virus and because it's the end of March),especially in the healthcare field. If I let too much slip, if I don't get ahold of myself, then it'll be high school, it'll be the gap semester, all over again, except worse because I won't have anywhere to run and I'll be faced with the disappointment of not finding an internship (but is that really new 😞). I just...want to go back. Please. I want to be busy, like I was then, I want an excuse to stay in my room for most of the day, I want to be able to choose time with my friends over my family, I want Didi and Bhaiya (but especially Didi but also, to my sadness, Bhaiya) to go back to Cali, I want everything to turn out fine, because yeah, maybe I am stressed about the virus and what's going on with my classes and how that'll affect my future ('cause dad thinks that P/NP is not an option that med schools will like, and neither is a not-high GPA, so). I want...a lot of things. 😕 And most of them won't happen. But I have to work through them anyway. Here's to the next six months, I guess. Here's to a gap semester turning into a gap year, but hopefully nothing more than that. Here's to becoming a kid again. (I’m gonna have a headache tomorrow morning...)

#march 24 2020