#who the fuck is saying rah

[angeltannis]

It’s so funny going back to a special interest and having your faves list get all shaken up and changed. Some go way up the list. Some stay about the same. Some go from Debatably Cop-Adjacent to Oh Yeah She’s Undeniably a Cop. and drop off the list completely

#I cant favorite a character who literally says ‘you don’t break the law just because you don’t agree with it’ #and then to say it to charas like Kiriko & Lifed Weaver who are being unfairly persecuted because they crossed people with money & power #fuck u Ph@rah 🖕🖕 #I still enjoy her fanon interpretations and the love that fans put into her character. but in canon? blech

[starlooove]

A

#Idk how I feel about the Icarus fell as he laughed thing #not hating and I really really like that interpretation #but also him being a scared kid and crying for his dad 😭 #who couldnt help him? rah #and this is like meaner and absolutely just me being melodramatic #but the way so many parents say they’d die before living without their children #I’d like to imagine he was one of them #but when confronted with the choice between dying with his child/trying to save him even if it would be fruitless or the going towards the #freedom hed been kept from for so long? #well Icarus chose the sun. #omg i just reread this Im not saying Icarus chose the sun over his child lmaooo #Lemme be clear #im taking Abt Daedalus 😭 #that well Icarus chose the sun is like D making it clear that he chose freedom and tryin to justify it bc Icarus in a way chose freedom over #family too #and in the interpretation of Icarus as a young adult who laughed as he fell this is kind of a we’re both fucked up and i see you/you see me #Kinda thing #like idk that confinement must’ve done shit mentally yknow #but in the interpretation where Icarus is a kid who didn’t know any better? gut wrenching #to me anyways #especially since it’s technically daedalus’ fault they’re there #and more especially since Icarus is there for being his fathers son #Daedalus projecting his naivety onto Icarus and not only saying that the ‘choice’ the child made is the same as him giving up #but projecting the naivety that he himself had at the thought that he was exempt from the kings anger #ugh I love it either way but the second one is hitting today #OH ALL OF THIS BUT THEEEEEN imagine differences in stories where he sighed as he flew away #or stories where he wept as he watched his son fall #i need to make one of those genetic squares I forgot the name of for how I feel about each scenario #going insane

[tayytayy12]

National Anthem | Reader x LS2

Summary | American boy falls head over heels for his English girl

Warnings | None, just fluff

FaceClaim | Beabadobee

Type | SMAU

Yourusername

Liked by | LoganSargeant, Lilymhe, LilyZneimer, Laufey, and 100,280 others

Tagged | @/LoganSargeant, @/Laufey

Yourusername - Some of us (Logan), go to places like Monaco on private planes, and others (Me and Laufey) hop onto a double decker bus and go where the driver takes us, miss you American boy rah 🤍🤍🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅

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User1 - I want to be in Y/n’s and Laufey’s duo

User2 - Its a need

Yourusername - *trio* @/Junialin has a cold 🥲

User3 - Thanks Y/n for feeding us with Logan pictures

User4 - She and Logan are literally everything to me 😭

Laufey - She bought Twinkie’s cause she’s never ever seen them before, then remembered her boyfriends American and got sad because she couldn’t be the first to discover American things anymore

Yourusername - Don’t be a hater ❌❌❌

User5 - She’s so British

LoganSargeant - Miss you too, Boris 🤍🤍

Yourusername - DID YOU JUST CALL ME BORIS JOHNSON?

Lilymhe - COME TO THE PADDOCK NOW 👹👹👹

Yourusername - Tell that to my uni teacher bby 🥲

User6 - I need more of her paddock fits, her silverstone 23 ate so hard

User7 - She’s been to one race in over a whole season, she needs to show up for him more smh

LoganSargeant

Liked by - Yourusername, JuniaLin and 132,862 others

Tagged | @/yourusername

LoganSargeant - A few photos that have been sent to me by my English girl in the past couple days, I’m having serious withdrawals right now.

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Yourusername - Me too baby 🥲

LoganSargeant - ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS

Yourusername - IK 😩

User8 - WHO HAS WHO SAVED AS ‘my lover ♡’ ?!????!???!!???

Yourusername - Lo to me, he’s my American boy 🤞😙

User9 - SHE GOT A CAT TATOO LMAO

User10 - This man is saying he’s having withdrawals from not seeing his girl and mine can’t even text me back

User11 - So real

User12 - We all need a Logan Sargeant

Laufey - She cried to a picture of you on her bed side table last night 💕💕

Yourusername - I hate you

User13 - She’s so unsupportive of him, Oml

User14 - Girl what

User15 - I see their point, he’s always with her on his brakes but she can nerve show up to a GP for him

User16 - She’s defo a gold digger

User17 - She’s a full time journalism student at CAMBRIDGE, she has more important things to do

User18 - And she’s been with him since she was sixteen and he was seventeen and they met when her brother was racing with him, she is anything but a gold digger

User19 - ANDDD, she’s said so many times that she’d rather be at Logan’s races supporting him then being anywhere else, their probably the most unproblematic loving couple in the whole sport world

LoganSargeant added to their story!

Replies -

User20 - HES GOING TO SEE Y/N AHHH

Yourusername - Oh my fucking god what

LoganSargeant - Surprise pretty girl 🤍

Yourusername

Liked by - LoganSargeant, GracieAbrams and 762,910 others

Tagged | @/LoganSargeant

Yourusername - I’m liking this American boy 💕 the best surprise ever I love you my Eagle Grah wtf is a kilometre USA pretty boy, it was the worst months of my life without you, the US to my UK, forever the ant to my dec

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User21 - STOP I LOVE THEM

User22 - The forehead kiss 🥲

User23 - “MY PRONOUNS ARE USA🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🏈🇺🇸” meets “WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS🇬🇧🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿⛪️⛪️🏰🏰”

Comments liked by author and LoganSargeant

LoganSargeant - My favourite girl forever 🤍

Yourusername - I loooooveeee youuuuu 🤍🤍

User24 - My favourite couple ever

User25 - I need this kind of love

User26 - We all do

LoganSargeant - My Royal Monarch 🤍

Yourusername - My national anthem 🤍

——

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 one shot #f1 imagine #charles leclerc x reader #logan sargent x reader #logan sargent fluff #ls2 x reader #ls2 x you #ls2 imagine #ls2 fic #ls2 fluff #ls2 x y/n #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x oc #f1 x you #f1 x the internet #f1 x female oc #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one x oc #ln4 one shot #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 x reader #ln4 x you #f1 x female driver

[tachimichishrine]

Q6yuquqjq YOU'RE LIKE THE PERFECT TACHIHARA FANFIC Y/N WRITER I FUCKING LOVE YOU MATE❤️❤️❤️❤️ I have one silly offer, and ofc ofc I'll wait my sweet time for u to drop it (probably wait for decades like I'm so invested). Can you do some...fluff like the reader is so inlove and has been dropping hints to tachi. He knows but he wants the reader to say it to his face instead of hints.with the silly lines "I ain't a patient man, say it to my face" QJKSJSJS IDK HOW TO WORD IT BUT U CAN DO IT!!!!

<QIUQ8UE8U2WE (i'm the only tachihara fanfic writer sooo,,,)(unless i'm not...)(if there's someone else who writes for him pls tag me im desperate....) BUT RAH I FKIN LOVE YOU MORE YOU SEXY AHH ANON,, your offer is not silly it is majestically ethereal it deserves to be framed and hung in the louvre it belongs on a higher plane of existence... im so sorry it's short BUT URGH THE IDEA IS SO GOOD >

"impatient"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! jouno's sister! reader

warnings: none! take the fluff and frustrated tachi and flustered reader! (obviously some mild cursing and intended lowercase >///<)

it was a mistake, a terrible mistake that led to this.

"listen up, you bitch," tachihara seethed, pressing the tip of the gun against her temple, "this is our turf and you have no business being here."

"look sweetheart, this is all a misunderstanding," she said coolly, despite her heart pounding in her chest and the cold metal wrapped around her wrists.

and she wasn't lying. the series of events that led to her being tied to a metal chair somewhere in the port mafia's infinite supply of basements were peculiar, difficult to explain to the man who was threatening her life.

"any chance I could explain this all over some drinks?" she suggested with a chuckle before he dragged the gun down to her neck and pushed it up under her chin. "sheesh, okay, I guess not."

"having fun now, aren't we?" he nearly spat in her face, looking disgusted. "let's see how much you laugh when I put a hole in every one of your limbs-"

she shushed him then spoke in a whisper. "I think they're gone now, you can lay off the act."

tachihara sighed out of relief and moved to take the cuffs off of the detained woman.

"you're a real pain in my ass, you know that?" he whispered back, watching her get up and stretch her limbs. "I told you not to show up here."

"I'm sorry, I got carried away! I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hi... never thought you'd have another mafioso with you."

"you're gonna blow my cover," he said plainly, earning a pout.

their relationship was complicated.

jouno [_____], executive at the most notorious criminal organization in yokosuka, a city south of yokohoma, who still traveled back and forth for some occasional business. her current position was formerly filled by her brother saigiku, who left the underground in order to join the hunting dogs.

she, on the other hand, stuck the criminal route and even maintained contact with her sibling throughout the 6 years without ever switching sides. he never spoke about her to his colleagues except for a single grumble under his breath on one occasion where teruko was out of control, saying she was acting just like "his delinquent sister".

the matter was laid to rest until the first day of tachihara's infiltration into the port mafia. supposedly, since he had no street credit and would look extremely suspicious, she was his ticket in. she wasn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart (she was paid by the hunting dogs after being recommended by her brother), and yet tachihara found that she'd taken less than a week to get him accustomed to the underground life and put in a good word for him with the port mafia. she acted somewhat unprofessional at times, but there was no denying that she was good.

a little too good at times.

he was given impossible missions, to begin. the kind of things that set you up for failure unless you were a prodigy or had insane connections, missions hand-delivered by mori or any executive to test the new recruit. the first time, he was supposed to go and threaten the foreigners that had settled in on the edge of town and gotten themselves too comfortable with yokohoma. he relayed the information back to the hunting dogs, and jouno happened to mention it over the phone to his sister. she jumped in, ready to intervene before tachihara went in guns blazing and found himself confronting the notorious bulletproof brothers of brazil. she even told him where to buy knockout gas and gave him the rundown of the crime groups of the region.

once he got more familiar with his environment, she was needed less and yet contacted him at the same frequency. sometimes it was for essential information, other times it was for "company", as she put it. the ambiguity made it so that he didn't have any other choice but to respond to all of her calls.

tonight, she was in yokohoma for some business and decided to pop by and say hi. unfortunately, she did so right as he was having a chat with chuuya and they were caught in a peculiar situation. they played along, her pretending to be caught and him pretending to not know who she was while the executive spat in her face and asked what she was doing in this part of yokohoma. tachihara took charge of the situation and promised to find out, which led to them both roleplaying in the basement of the port mafia.

"oh, come on, you're gonna be fineeee," she tapped the tip of his nose, giggling without a care in the world. "chuuya knows I travel 'round these areas, and he's gonna catch wind of the deal I just closed earlier tonight, too. just tell him that and all's well. cheer up, tachihara, it's the underground. no one cares that much here."

he grumbled some kind of confirmation and watched as she held his hand and they both turned to human vapor. his consciousness paused momentarily and he came to a few streets down, wobbly on his feet as if his muscles were liquified.

"what the fuck, I didn't say—"

she shushed his protest, nodding her head to the motorcycle parked in front of them. "oh come on, stop complainin'. I'd ask you for drinks but most of the shops 'round here are mafia-owned and you'd be paranoid about gettin' caught, right? so hop on, I'll take ya to the other side of town, but you're paying, got it?"

"shit, you're gonna get me—"

"drunk. now hop on, pretty boy, we've got places to be."

he complied with a roll of his eyes, mildly pissed but unable not to reflect back the playful attitude she was giving him.

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the ride was rather long, but damn him if he complained.

she had her body leaning around the tank, legs constantly at work shifting gears and shifting their weight as the motorcycle sped up drastically. she didn't offer him a helmet, not even a jacket of any sorts, since she'd never crashed before. she whispered, "hold on, even if we're about to crash, and you'll be fine," and he didn't have any room to complain or ask questions.

her ability to turn herself and any objects directly in contact with her skin into vapor greatly resembled her brother's, but proved so useful in the sense that she could control herself in a gaseous state, floating around a room and gathering intel almost completely invisible, which made her such an effective executive. tachihara put two and two together and figured she'd evaporate both him and the bike if anything went south.

nothing went wrong. in fact, the fear for his life got him wrapping his hands around her waist and burying his face in her back. when he loosened up, she would do a dangerous maneuver and his grip would tighten once again as she laughed maniacally.

she laughed about it some more when they were finally inside the lounge owned by her own organization, sitting in a booth in the corner so that it was unlikely anyone would notice them— even if they did, she had the kind of authority that made it feel incredibly dangerous to even think about tattletalling. apparently, the sadism ran in the family.

"you really freaked out when I swerved around that huge truck," she giggled, taking a sip out of her mystery drink and sliding the glass over to him. "want a sip?"

"what is it?" he questioned, still drinking without waiting for her to respond. his face scrunched up in disgust and he pushed it back. "yurk, what is that? can't believe you drink that shit voluntarily."

"hey, it's my favourite flavour!" she frowned and punched his shoulder. "I'll tell them to charge you double for everything 'cause you deserve it."

"isn't everything we order free? I mean, since you practically own the shop, that's what the guy at the front told you."

"shut up, I'm trying to make a point."

the evening was quiet, almost no one around except the two of them. she asked how her brother had been, and he asked the same thing since he hadn't spoken to his coworkers in quite some time. she gave him more details on things he needed to watch out for, and then listened to his updates with enough attention that neither of them noticed her body gravitating towards his. by the time it was too early in the morning and the place was closing, their shoulders were practically rubbing and she was close enough to kiss him.

it was all she ever thought of. she lied to herself, said she was checking out the bandage on his nose and her gaze just dropped down to his lips while he spoke. staring long enough for him to notice - that was the plan - except he didn't seem to notice at all, or at least he pretended not to. laughing loudly at every semi-funny joke he made, distractedly taking her bottom lip in between her teeth, tilting her head when he spoke; she was running out of hints to drop. the only other thing she could think of was carving "I love you" into her forehead and praying he doesn't spontaneously go blind.

how dense can a man be?

she had a driver drop him off back in yokohoma; her heart ached when she waved him goodbye and goodnight.

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she couldn't stop thinking about him, day and night, and it was getting out of control. she would zone out in the middle of meetings and her colleagues were noticing. she explained that it was just some personal stuff, not that her chest felt hollow whenever she thought about him, not that she was catching herself thinking of gifts to get him, not that she was atrociously in love with him.

months, she spent months trying to drop hints. she had felt like she might accidentally evaporate when she had called him "pretty boy" for the first time, but he shrugged it off as if she hadn't said anything. once she got comfortable with that, she got touchy, and still no reaction. over the past week, she texted and called him nearly every night and even fell asleep on call on a few occasions. she checked the call log and he hung up nearly an hour after she drifted off, long enough to signal that he was listening to her snore softly but not long enough that he could've fallen asleep accidentally as well.

she kept losing hope as she thought about it, then regaining the confidence after seeing him again. it was getting unbearable.

"saigiku, I'm losing my mind," she said, sitting down at a bench on the pier. her legs kicked back and forth, and she sighed into the phone. "I don't understand guys. help me out here."

"ugh, don't you have girlfriends to talk about this shit with?" he groaned in annoyance on the other end. "I don't know. men are stupid. hope that helps."

she mimicked him. "thanks bro, you're tons of help."

"well, you won't tell me anything about the guy so I don't know what you want from me. either suck it up and say it to him or move on."

his advice wasn't bad, but it was simultaneously obvious that he couldn't care less. she rolled her eyes and changed the topic, instead listening for what felt like hours while he ranted about his dumb colleague. she wondered whether the jounos were really just bad at understanding people.

once the call was over, she took a deep breath of the ocean breeze and closed her eyes. nearly falling asleep on the bench, she was roused by her name being called out, a familiar voice.

"hey, tachihara," she smiled softly at him, seemingly exhausted (from all the nights spent rolling over in bed, thinking about him).

"you said you had intel?" he takes a seat next to her, trying to play it cool in case they were spotted, despite the light fog and the lack of anyone being out this late at night.

nodding, she handed over a folder filled with the information she collected about the next inspectors in yokohoma, the ones who were going to try to naively take down the port mafia and ultimately fail.

"they have a few operations going on, one about your buddy hirotsu. they might start digging into you too, and you don't want them finding out. deal with them as if them finding your identity was a death sentence, because it might as well be."

the information was true, but nothing in the folder was important. she just wanted to see him again.

"so..." he leafed through the papers, "anything I need to look out for?"

the millions of hints I keep dropping you.

"nothing particular, I think. they'll probably aim for more important mafia figures, so you'll be glossed over as a new recruit. someone experienced will likely take care of them before you need to."

"okay, thanks," he made the motion to get up, but stopped himself. "...are you in yokohoma for long?"

"just the night, my driver's picking me up in a few hours," she smiled reassuringly at him. "why?"

"huh? no reason, just wonderin'." he got up this time and nodded at her. "thanks for the drop, you didn't hafta do that."

I'm in love with you, you fool, of course I did.

"oh, it's not a big deal. anything for a friend."

more than a friend. fuck, you look gorgeous in the moonlight.

she caught herself watching his back as he walked away. her hand reached out, as if to physically catch him as he slipped away, then she cursed herself.

"hey, tachihara? are you in a rush to go anywhere?"

he turned around and shot up a brow. her smirk felt genuine.

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the idea was stupid, to combine both of their abilities together to try to get the best view of the night sky. no city light in their way as they stood a few hundred meters from the ground. she beat up the metal roof of a small car and pulled it off so that they could place it on the ground. they both sat down on top of it, one of her hands holding him while the other's palm flattened out on the sheet of metal. evaporating; within seconds, they were among the clouds. she warped them back and he activated his ability to carry both of their weights.

suspended in the sky, suspended in time.

"never seen the stars this clearly before," she murmured, feet dangling over the edge as she laid down. "living in the city really takes away from the small things, doesn't it?"

"guess so," he said, doing the same as she did.

silence. nothing except the breeze and the frigid air and their breathing.

"the stars are beautiful," she said, dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

"yeah," he responded simply.

more silence. she could've sworn he could hear her heart pounding.

"...is it heavy to hold both of us up?"

"not really."

it was getting painful.

"shit, it's cold up here."

"uh huh."

she wasn't lying, it really was cold. but at least the numbness in her fingers took over for the numbness in her mind.

"should we head down?"

"sure."

she held onto the plate, then reached for his hand. she hesitated. it felt like she was always making the first move, always trying to do something, and now it was feeling all wrong. she just wanted him to confirm anything, tell her anything, anything at all.

she got over herself, took his frozen hand in hers and brought them back down.

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she took her brother's advice and got over herself.

of course, she still filled him in on anything he needed to know and she occasionally tried to talk with him, but it was as if he was purposefully avoiding not only her hints, but anything at all that she did.

so, she was quite surprised when she found that he'd left her a message telling her to show up at a bar in between the two cities that evening.

her leg bounced uneasily while she sat at a table, drinks already ordered but her glass toyed with between her fingers while she waited. thankfully, it wasn't long before he arrived, amber eyes catching hers from across the room.

"hey," she smiled, trying to repress the butterflies and keep a level head. "what did you— huh?!"

tachihara had grabbed her arm with a tight grip, firmly pulling her up to her feet as she complied, confused.

"ow, lay off my arm— I'll follow you but where the fuck are we going? I ordered drinks, y'know, feels like a waste..."

"will you shut the actual fuck up?" he interrupted again, now pulling her outside of the bar completely and pushing her against the wall. "are you fucking stupid?"

"what the hell? what's wrong with you, tachiha-"

"I'd ask you the same thing. look, I'm not dumb. I can practically feel your heart beating out of your chest right now."

"wha-"

"look, I ain't a patient man. just say it to my face."

it took his stern expression, the way he was almost trapping her against the brick wall of the building and looking as serious as she'd ever seen him to realize that they were both thinking the same thing.

"what, do you wanna hear that I like you? you're gonna make me sound like a lovesick schoolgirl," she chuckled, using humour to envelope her confession so that whatever came next would hurt less. or so, she hoped.

"not good enough."

she narrowed her eyes at him. "the fuck do you mean, not good enough? I've been trying to drop you hints for the past century and your dense ass wasn't having it, all of a sudden you're acting distant, then you're pulling me out of a bar and asking me to confess to you? fine, you wanna hear about how fucking stupid I am around you? you wanna hear how I read over every message you've ever sent me before I go to sleep, how I can't do shit without seeing something that reminds me of you, how I feel like I'm going to combust into a thousand fucking pieces whenever I see you smile at one of my lame jokes? you wanna hear about every time I told myself I'd say something and then I back out of it? you wanna—"

she stopped talking as soon as his hand wrapped around her neck, fingertips intertwined with her hair and thumbs running upwards along her ears so he had a good enough hold to pull her into his lips.

maybe it was everything she'd ever imagined, or maybe it wasn't. who cares. he was kissing her.

she didn't know what to do, how to kiss him back when he was pressing into her like he wanted this as badly as she did. her body went along with his, allowing him to push her harder against the wall and kiss her deeper. it didn't end, her lips opening up and panting softly into his mouth while his tongue took over. he drew pictures of her into the roof of her mouth, and she was drunk on his spit by the time he pulled away.

"fucking finally," he breathed out, chest rising and falling against hers.

"I'm so goddamn confused," she giggled back, "not that I'm complaining."

"you didn't just drop hints, you threw them at my fuckin' face, [_____]. I was waiting for you to make the first move and you didn't, so I tried somethin' else to see if you'd get sick and tired and finally say it. but you didn't, and I wasn't gonna wait any longer."

"you could've just asked me first, you dipshit."

he grinned that stupid, smug grin she couldn't get over. "yeah, but then I wouldn't have heard your little speech there."

"oh, fuck you." her words didn't match her actions, grabbing handfuls of his jacket and pulling him in for another kiss.

for an impatient man, he felt like he waited his whole life for this moment.

#IDK WHY IM HAVING BRAINFARTS AND CANT WRITE GOOD RN SOBBING #tachihara michizou #bsd tachihara #tachihara x reader #bungo stray dogs tachihara #tachihara michizou x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #tachihara x reader bsd #tachihara bsd x reader #tachihara bsd #tachi fics #im unwell for them

[hentyehottie]

Y’all I know I said I wasn’t posting anything else until I revised some older fics buttttt I just couldn’t get this series out of my head 🥲 let’s call it the Tokyo Rev. Occupation Series where I’ll be writing a series of nsfw blurbs about these sleazy professionals & their favorite clients 🫶🏾

First up we have :

Dentist!Smiley

 Lmaoooo this one is so obvious but Smiley is one of the best dentists there is. His office is a serene environment, even with the rap music playing, mainly Youngboy cus that’s who he claims he resonates with and it reminds him of his adolescence 😭 Souya thinks it’s unprofessional but regardless, it’s what he likes and his clients never complain, except you.

Smiley’s known for enhancements. Says a person’s smile is their best asset and has dedicated his life to helping people achieve their perfect smile. Porcelain veneers are his specialty—he focuses on aesthetic and functionality. His prices are a bit steep but his work speaks for itself. 

At only 27 years old he owns his own private practice and has made a name for himself in such little time. A lot of people are skeptics, claiming he’s far too young to know what the hell he’s doing, and that he’s overrated. He used to get so many comments about him being a scammer, ripping off clients, and a whole bunch of other bullshit on the daily.

It was infuriating but he’s not the person he used to be. Plus he can’t fight thousands of strangers on the internet. So he addressed it one time and one time only on ig live. 

“I don’t do promo like y’all’s favorite dentists, and I don’t fancy putting big white cinderblocks in people’s mouths for a couple thousand dollars like y’all’s favorite dentists.”

“If you don’t wanna work with me, that’s cool, but don’t disrespect me or my craft. My work is immaculate so pay my fucking price, or don’t, but somebody will and you’ll know the difference.” 

Of course it went viral, probably cus he said the whole thing with a smile on his face. Had the internet in an uproar—he was cool, calm and a little stern with just the right amount of sassy and of course you ate it up. Booked your consultation at Kawata Dentistry a few weeks later, paid almost 23 bands for your perfect smile, and you couldn’t be happier. He was much cuter in person, and yes, his teeth are just as straight and white in person. What intrigued you the most was the way the smile on his face never wavered, even when he was a bit annoyed at his receptionist for double booking his appointments.

That was nearly a year ago and he’s been your dentist since, and in the span of that year he’s come to like you a lot—enough to say you’re his favorite client. It makes him so fucking happy that you’ve started to smile for him more, no longer self-conscious about your imperfect smile, now you give him real smiles showing damn near all thirty two of your teeth.

He thinks you’re pretty as fuck too, never wearing any makeup, just your mink lashes and that Dior lip stuff you like. Smiley loves the way you keep yourself up—hair and nails always done and you always smell good as fuck, it’s obvious you’re a high maintenance, luxury bitch. But when you walk through his threshold, when you enter his domain, you’re nothing more than a slut for him to play with and he loves it.

He’s sitting on his stool, wheels locked while you’re on your knees between his legs with his fat cock stuffed in your mouth. The stretch makes your jaw ache but neither of you regard that. You swallow around his cock and it sends shivers up his spine. “Oh fuck, you’re so good at that.”

He calls it a ‘stress test’ and how he got you to agree to this the first time, you’ll never know, it must’ve been his way with words, since that’s what drew you to him in the first place.

Brent Faiyaz is playing, cus you hate that ‘rah-rah rap shit’ and you made it your business to tell him every time you enter his office, once you got comfortable enough.

He’s got your hair fisted into a makeshift ponytail, loves the raw Indian tape-ins you have in this time.

Smiley’s yanking at your hair, bobbing your head up and down, occasionally pushing you down far enough for his peachy pubes to tickle your nose. He’s spewing praise after praise as you please him. Going on and on about how you’re so pretty, especially when you’re on your knees letting him use your mouth like this. Thank goodness for the music, the gyuck sounds are so loud, so obscene as his thrusts get faster and sloppier.

The shaft of his cock is jutting against your teeth every single time the tip of him kisses the back of your throat, makes him shudder every time. He lets out a deep sigh, holding your head still and jerking his hips up.

“Holy shit, you’re so perfect.”

This lasts until he cums, which is never long, you are the client with the perfect mouth after all. He pops his cock out of your mouth, pressing kisses to your lips again and again until he’s satisfied.

You’re still on your knees and he’s still gripping your jaw, you already know what he wants so you crack a wide smile for him. You’re sure you look crazy—spit and cum (you’re dentist’s cum) running down your chin, just smiling like an idiot. He turns your head side to side, using his other hand to run his finger over the tips of your teeth. 

“No loosies or chipping.” He smiles at his own handiwork. “Lemme clean you up and get a picture.” It’s sweet, the way he wipes your face so gently and helps you up. He walks away for a second, washes his hands and returns with a tiny paper cup full of mouthwash, remembers alcohol free is your preference.

The goal is a minute but he lets you slide with the forty-five second swish. He hugs you tight, and he doesn’t let go. Neither do you, your arms perched against his shoulders as you stare up at him.

“When imma see you again? Every four months ain’t cutting it nomore.”

“You can see me whenever, you know where I be, what time I take lunch. Unless you trying to take me on a date outside of work hours.”

You nod, and when you do he’s pulling out his phone, handing it to you with a light chuckle. “Alright, gimme your number. We’ll set something up.”

Later that day, you see he posted you on his personal page. Your teeth looks amazing but you hope the hearts in your eyes and the way you press yourself against him isn’t too obvious.

@/smiley_ortho - Another satisfied client back for routine maintenance! I love making pretty girls prettier 🥺🫶🏻

I guess it’s safe to say you really like your dentist & he really likes you too!

#tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x black reader #tokyo rev x you #nahoya kawata #smiley x reader #x black reader #black coded reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x y/n #Tokyo revengers x black reader #HentyeHottie

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/allnewalldifferentwildspider/748862622231838720/the-reason-im-so-vulgar-in-regards-to-aangs

What a bunch of bullshit.

"He makes no effort to get to know or understand her" they're literally traveling the whole world together - and their original reason for doing that was because he wanted to help her go to the North Pole to learn waterbending, something which means a lot to her. Just because the writers didn't think the audience was stupid and needed a scene of them sitting down and telling each other a list of their flaws, qualities and motivations, doesn't mean their relationship was shallow.

"We get the MALE GAZE from him" Wow, he thinks a pretty girl is pretty. What a crime.

"He doesn't try to find out what happened to her mom" he didn't have to, she fucking told him basically right away. Complaining about that is like complaining he never asked if Sokka was her brother, even though one of the first things Sokka ever said to Aang was "And this is Katara, my flying sister"

"He always gets surprised when she's mad about something" Aang, the naturally cheery person, is pretty much ALWAYS surprised whenever ANYONE is angry, because that's not an emotionl he usually experiences much. Doesn't mean he doesn't get her - and I say this as a very grumpy person.

And ya know who else gets surprised at Katara's anger all the time? Zuko. The guy that sent an assassin after her group because Katara had to bring Aang back to life after Azula killed him - which only happened because Zuko helped her when Aang and Katara had her cornered.

Funny how things are only bad when Aang does it, but totally okay when Zuko does them in VERY different contexts that obviously paint him in a negative light for good reason.

"He hates the food and culture that she loves so much" Disliking a culture's food is not the same as hating said culture. We only see him talk shit about the Water Tribe's hunting culture once: in the Bato episode, in his friends are accidentally shutting him out of the conversation because they're too excited about being reunited with someone that is basically family. A 12-year-old throwing a tantrum is not the same as him being openly racist. Ya know what IS racist though? Zuko supporting his nation's attempt to genocide the water tribes.

"He doesn't respect her boundaries and kisses her twice without her consent" ONE poorly timed kiss is not the same as him forcefully holding her in place and kissing her, or even asking first then going for it anyway after she said an explicit no. And Katara visibly enjoyed the kiss during the eclipse episode, and was basically cuddlying with him on Appa afterwards.

"He keeps trying to talk for her when she's angry" You mean literally the same thing Zuko did in Southern Raiders?

"He expects her to do the work for their relationship... but he also makes wild assumptions about them being an item already... but he also wanted to talk things out with her to make sure he got it right..." I don't even need to tear these apart, the OP did it for me by making their arguments contradict each other. How kind of them.

"Aang wants the beautiful image of Katara. He wants that pretty face, those big blue eyes, that body, those long legs, those hips, the chest, and the hair that is just so manageable" While Aang is attracted to her, he NEVER mentioned a single one of those things, ever. The hair thing was literally MENG being insecure about her own hair. If you wanna simp for Katara, go ahead and do it, there's nothing wrong with it, but don't act like Aang only sees her a piece of meat.

"He has no interest in the complex, strong, hurt, angry, and caring person that Katara actually is" Ah yes, that's why he doesn't cheer her on when she's fighting Pakku, or helps her with the Painted Lady thing because he admires her compassion, or tells her she gives him hope, or calls her sifu, or accepts that she won't kill Yon Rah but also won't forgive... oh wait, he did do all those things.

"I'm calling it like I see it" Too bad you need glasses and refuse to wear them.

"Aang doesn't actually like Katara; he's just really horny for her" Considering your random description of why she's so hot in a post that has nothing to do it, all while ignoring her agency that used to choose Aang, I'd say that's more likely to be an accurate description of YOU than of our protagonist. Sorry, just calling it like I see it.

#anti zutara #pro kataang #pro aang

[metamorphosisff]

|Chapter 18 | Find Your Way Back

This past week had been relatively stress free after committing to the homework Dr. Mitchell doled out in our session. Outside of work I didn’t do anything that I did not have to do which meant I took time off from the gym and a break from helping out with Granddad. I needed a full break away from everyone. It wasn’t until this assignment that I realized that I was always on go, always running around, or exerting energy in some form. I had forgotten what it was like to be still and pour into myself. In this moment of stillness I found that what I really needed was to grieve. I needed to grieve Sabrina, who Grandad was, and who I used to be. I needed to grieve so that I could make space for the person I am now. 

My eyes travel back to my phone for the umpteenth time in the last twelve hours. I know Mila read my text because she hearted it but I have yet to receive a written or verbal response from her. The heart was a good sign yet it wasn’t enough. I needed more because I missed the hell out of her. Did she miss me the same way? Right as I was about to pick up the device again to craft another message, the sound of my door opening followed by footsteps, caused me to stand up. It didn’t take long to see who was barging into my apartment unannounced. 

“We let you have your lil Eat, Pray, Love moment but enough. We are going to watch this game and eat some wings,”  Aiden said, as he sauntered past the entryway armed with bags. Rah trailed behind him holding a case of beer.

“Bro, that key is for emergencies,” I said, shaking my head at them.

“It is an emergency. When was the last time you took a shower?” Aiden shouted over his shoulder, as he continued making his way towards the kitchen.

Okay, he had me there. I hadn’t actually left my apartment in the past three days and depression has a way of making you break routine. A quick lift of my arms, let me know that I needed to fix that immediately.

“Aight, it’s been awhile but I’ma get on it. Use coasters please,” I said, as I began walking towards the bathroom. 

“You might want to tighten up that hairline while you at it,” Rah said, making a clipper motion with his hands.

“Fuck y’all,” I chuckled.

“And hurry up funky, we hungry!” Aiden yelled, over the sound of clattering plates and my drawers being yanked open with more force than necessary. I shook my head as I proceeded to the bathroom deciding not to prolong the journey by responding to him. 

It takes me about forty minutes to shape up my hairline and then shower. When I saunter back into the living room it’s to a round of applause.

“Aye man, fuck y’all,” I chuckle, as I reach for a wing.

They had made use of one of the big bowls my mother insisted I would need one day and poured all of the wings into them. Beside that bowl was a plate full of fries and another of onion rings. There was also a box of pizza that Rah was currently inhaling half of. 

“What y’all niggas been up to besides breaking and entering?” I ask, as I sit down on the other end of the couch.

“Nothing but the usual. This nigga need help with a proposal to Keisha but I told him that’s your lane,” Aiden said, eyes trained on the game on the TV like he didn’t just announce something important.

“Oh shit, you ready to propose? It’s about time,” I said, looking over at Rah.

“Yeah man I know, I’ve been ready but now it feels like we’re both on the same page,” Rah says with a small smile. 

“I’m happy for you bro. She’s definitely going to say yes,” I said. 

“Duh, they've been together forever,” Aiden tosses in.

We both give him a side eye that he doesn’t see because his glance hasn’t left the game and won’t. Shaking my head I continue, “Aight, let me hear your ideas so I can tell you if they’re good or not.”

For the next hour we bounce ideas back and forth until we get the best proposal plan that encompasses both Rah and Keisha as a couple. In a month’s time, he will be popping the big question and I couldn’t be more happy for them. Once that’s squared away, Aiden insists that we head out to a few bars to celebrate the fact that the Nets won. However, I’m not ready to be out and about just yet so I send them on their way after they make me swear to show up to the gym this week. 

The moment I think I am about to get some peace after the guys leave, my phone starts to ring. I instantly reach for it hoping it’s Mila but when I see who it actually is, I freeze for a moment. The name ‘Pops’ flashes across my screen with a picture of us from my college graduation. It was a day neither of us thought I would see so we were especially happy to celebrate the occasion together. It rings out three more times but instead of answering, I watch it go to voicemail. He might be ready to talk but I’m not. Tossing my phone to the side, I’m on my way to the kitchen to get a drink when there’s a knock on the door. I swing it open without looking because I assume the boys forgot something but I’m in shock when I see who it is.

With her hair freshly braided and dressed in a cream sweater dress, Mila stands before me shyly. My eyes trace over her frame, it’s been so long since I’ve seen her in person that I instantly want to take in what’s been missed. It seems she is doing the same because when our eyes meet once more, a blush takes over her cheeks.

“Hi,” she says softly.

“Hi,” I replied.

“May I come in?” she asks.

“Of course, my bad, come, come,” I said, moving back so that she could enter the apartment. I have never been more thankful for the boy's intrusion like I am now because if she decided to pop up a few hours ago I would have been looking rough. I follow behind her until we’re both standing toe to toe in the living room. We resume eyeing each other again. There are oceans of words between us but none of them compare to the three that have been swirling in my mind nonstop since opening the door. She opens her mouth to speak but I beat her to it. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. More than you know.”

That’s all we both need to hear before enveloping each other in a hug. I wrap my arms around her waist tightly and she squeezes my shoulders to bring me closer. It takes everything in me not to hoist her into my arms. As badly as I want to, I know there are things that need to be said before we fall back into each other. She nuzzles her face in my chest and inhales deeply. I rub her back slowly as she gathers her thoughts. After a few moments she says, “I’m sorry to pop up but I feel like I owed you an in person apology. I took my past out on you and that was so unfair.”

“Mila I’m s-

“No, let me finish,” she said, tipping her head back so that our eyes could meet. Her brown eyes were already glazed over with tears begging to spring free. “I have not had the easiest life and because of that it’s so hard for me to trust people. Like unbelievably fucking hard. Then you came along and made me question everything I thought I knew. You gave me the ability to open up and I have never felt so seen. I have never felt so free.”

The tears that she had been holding back crash down onto her cheeks but instead of hiding her face like usual she bares them for me to see. “What Trevor did to me…made me feel like the woman I was before you. Scared and angry. Beyond angry and when I saw you, in a way I was mad that without you around I couldn’t be free. That wasn’t right to put on you and it took me some time and therapy,” she said with a sly grin causing us to both chuckle. It was only a few months ago that she had been adamant about not talking to anyone. The strides she has taken in our weeks apart makes me so proud.“...to realize that I can’t rest my freedom or happiness on your shoulders. I have to own that for myself or else I’m always going to be left to pick up the pieces”.

Leaning down, I press my lips softly against hers, no longer able to resist the urge. “Thank you,” I say against her lips. “While that is true, I need you to know that I am here for you, to support your happiness and aid in it. To protect you. To cherish you. To love you because I do love you and I’m in love with you Jamila Cortez.”

“I’m in love with you-

I swallow the rest of her confession with my tongue. The last of my restraint has vanished with those five words. She mewls as I finally give into my other urge and hoist her into my arms. Her hands raise from my shoulders to cup my face as I continue to devour her lips. As we kiss, I can feel the color slip back into my life. That’s how vibrant she is, how potent. We end up against the wall, breathing heavy as my lips move from her lips to the hollows of her throat. She smells of jasmine and promise, I sink my teeth in and am rewarded with a guttural moan. The kind that can only be elicited when two people know without a shadow of a doubt that their kindred spirit is present. 

We become an endeavor of sloppy movements fueled by an urgency to reunite as one. Her hands are fumbling with my sweats as I bunch her dress up to her waist. The thong she wears is easily ripped from her frame with one strong pull. The act causes her to push her hips against mine in excitement. Holding her tightly with my left arm, I use my right hand to slip myself against her folds.

“Damn,” I curse, feeling how wet she is for me already. 

As if she can read my mind she says, “She missed you too.”

I lean in and nip at her bottom lip as I guide myself inside, stretching her walls. She cries out softly as I’m welcomed back to my favorite place. Digging her heels into my lower back, Mila uses the leverage to drop onto me fully, causing us both to moan out. 

“Hold on,” I instruct as I grip both of her hips.

I wait until she interlocks her arms around my shoulders but once she does? I began to plummet into her warmth with abandon. My concentration is solely on the way our bodies work in tandem, each time I pull back, I’m covered in more and more of Mila. When I glance up, I catch Mila’s focused stare as she watches the way I disappear and reappear inside of her. Each time snatching more of her breath than the last. Feeling my stare, she drags me closer for a kiss. Her tongue flicks against mine until I capture and suck it slowly. 

“Xayyy,” she cries, tearing her mouth from mine. Her back is flush against the wall as I alternate my strokes from deep plunges to a slow grind against her spot.

“What’s up baby? Talk to me,” I said, speaking directly in her ear before licking the outer shell. “What do you want me to do?”

“There, there, there. Stay there,” she panted, tightening her grip against me.

“Right here?” I said, grinding deeper towards the left.

“Yes! Yes!” she said, flinging her head back so it lands on the wall with a soft thud. Her hips are winding, meeting my thrusts eagerly. We are in this together. 

“You really luh me?” I questioned teasingly, placing a kiss on her damp collarbone. 

“I do,” she said, nodding her head fervently. “So fucking much.”

“You gon’ cum for me then?” I asked.

“If you listen and don’t move,” she whines, causing me to chuckle.

Placing my lips against hers, I said, “I got you baby. I got you.”

Slipping a hand between us, I rub my fingers across her clit in circular motions causing her hips to freeze as she succumbs to the pleasure. “Nuh uh, no one told you to stop. Keep going,” I said.

“That’s too much,” she breathed out, tears aligning her eyes again. This time from pleasure as she tries to rise up to alleviate the pressure she was chasing only moments before. I yank her back down not allowing the escape.

“You got this,” I said, stealing another kiss. “Fuck me back like a good girl.”

Licking her lips, she nods her head, my words successfully triggering her hips to continue meeting my strokes. Though they initially held steady in pace, the more I played with her clit, the more frantic Mila’s movements became. Her walls were starting to pulse against me and I knew it was only a matter of time before we were both on our way to bliss. 

All that could be heard between us was heavy breathing and the sound of our skin slapping against one another. Catching her gaze again, I saw the vulnerability she used to try to hide. At this moment it’s all there for me to see and I have never been more appreciative. Leaning in, I rest my forehead on hers as our lips meet for another kiss. It’s as frantic as our lower bodies as the power of our connection drives us forward. We’re moaning together as we crash out at the same time. This orgasm steals our breaths as we slink to the floor entangled. From this day forward I knew we would always have each other. When I looked at Mila, it was like seeing my heartbeat outside of my chest. 

Breathing hard against one another, we exchange soft kisses, and gentle touches as we come down from the intensity of our orgasms. She’s placing kisses on my chest while I play with her hair when I say, “Please don’t shut me out again. I know every day won’t be easy but I promise not to make it harder. I promise to have your back as long as you let me. I promise to choose you everyday.”

Raising her head up, she meets my eyes and I see the remorse in her gaze but it’s unnecessary because she was forgiven weeks ago. “I promise too. I promise to be better and to communicate instead of running away. I promise to choose you too.”

Lifting my index finger, I silently beckon her to come closer which she does by slinking her body up my torso. When she is close enough, I grab her throat and pull her towards my face. At the same time her hand finds my length. We sink into each other at the same time. Our promises are sealed.

#metamorphasisff #black romance #Black Fiction

[cinamun]

Hello Cinamun! I wanna start off by saying I love your blog very much, and your story is my favorite on Tumblr so PLEASE don’t block me!! But, I have to wonder if you’re starting to add drama just for chaos sake? We’re still in the middle of all the stuff with Dira/Ryker/Rah that’s unresolved, and now Jayce, who we’ve only seen as loyal and honest is gonna have an affair? It just feels like a bit too much. Can anyone be happy and secure for once? Does everyone have to go through pain and struggle every time? Hope is dealing with grief while being a first time mom of twins, and I have a soft spot for her so maybe I’m biased but I think she deserves a happily ever after. Black women deserve peace and happiness, along with all the BS we go through, there’s room for both. I really appreciate you as a writer. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to give us non-stop trauma just to keep up with the story.

Hey friend! Thank you for the kind words. But now, let us ask ourselves some questions, shall we?

"and now Jayce, who we’ve only seen as loyal and honest is gonna have an affair? It just feels like a bit too much."

Firstly....

Why do you think this man is going to have an affair? Why do you automatically assume that? ESPECIALLY after all of the qualifiers you gave him. Its only too much if you're *making* it too much.

Hear me out....

If you're new here, yes, it might seem like "too much" so I ask, too much of what, specifically? Implication? Subtext? Friend, that is THEE best part of writing. Your head is spinning so when and IF a shoe drops, you never see it coming. So again, "too much" of what, specfically?

"Can anyone be happy and secure for once? Does everyone have to go through pain and struggle every time?"

Nope, you're not new here and I can tell because you started with "please don't block me" so you MUST know that I get your second question all the time. So you're not new here you just rebranded to fucking troll me, and I hate that, but I'm gonna entertain you while I wait for my flight.

If you think pain and struggle is coming because Jay ran into a student in a coffee shop on campus, you need to ask yourself why you assume there will be "pain and struggle" every time. I enjoy mindfucking you, it might not be painful or a struggle but you might be shook and question your life choices when I'm done.

As for your last few sentences, I am a Black woman so I write about the experiences of Black women. You're anon so I don't know if you're a Black woman, I don't assume the identities of my readers.

Myself and a bunch of IDENTIFIED Black women readers have been over this topic already, about Black women deserving joy and our happily ever after. It is absolutely true that we do. So for you to assume the characters in this story wont get their happily ever after because they are Black women says more about you than it does about me as an author and Black woman.

Initially I was going to block you because if you want happy shit in every plot, every arc, you can find that on other blogs. I write real shit. I don't sugar coat a gotdamn thing. But I decided to just let you make the decision of unfollowing me if its "too much" for you. I am actually writing what I like to write about and if that's non-stop trauma then so be it. If people don't like that then its on them to stay or go. Fortunately, I am NOT writing non-stop trauma and anyone who feels like that clearly isn't reading the same story as the rest of the room.

Would you like your wings to go?

#this topic again? #we were doing so good too #oh well #story stuff

[janners]

Replaced Feelings

Pairings : Neteyam(18) x reader, Lo’ak(17) x reader, Neteyam x oc

Warnings : unrequited love..?, angst, fluff, happy ending

word count : 12.3k

a/n : Originally I was going to post this like a day or two ago but it came out much longer than I had anticipated so editing took forever. Was also going to have a depressing ending for this but decided against it so you’re welcome. It is also safe to say that I don’t like this work. I feel like some parts are rushed and some dragged out for too long but oh well.

You and Neteyam have known each other since you were just small infants. Mothers being close friends, basically sisters. Always attached to the hip, playing with each other, even fighting over small toys. Not that the fights were serious, mostly bickering with each other. Doing everything together through thick and thin, not even batting an eye.

“Pasuk! We shouldn’t be doing this. Our mothers will kill us if they find out were sneaking out to the forest”

Pasuk, a nickname Neteyam gave you because in his words “you are as sweet as a berry” and you loved it.

“Ah don’t be such a prrnen teyam. We will only be gone for a couple minutes''

Laughing, you start running into the forest, only for Neteyam to roll his eyes and follow you. He wonders why you had insisted that he had to come immediately even risking your ears getting talked off by your mothers. He continues following you though lagging behind as you were quite fast.

“Hurry up you slowpoke!”

“I'm trying! Not my fault you are weirdly fast”

You squint your eyes at him sticking your tongue out. He does it back while trying to catch up to you. Suddenly you stop making Neteyam smack right into your back, resulting in you both falling to the ground.

“OW why did you stop? Made me smack my nose into your back you skxawng!”

“Oh shush, this is what I wanted to show youuu”

Hearing the excitement in your voice, he finally looks up seeing a beautiful clear pond. The pond was so clear you could see all the little creatures swimming in it especially with the bioluminescent plants surrounding it.

“Woah”

Neteyam looked around with a wide smile and wonder in his eyes. You couldn’t help but stare at him because for you, his opinion mattered. He meets your eyes and starts talking about how amazing the area is.

“This is so cool! This can be our hideaway”

You glimmer at the idea of having a place that only you and Neteyam knew. Next thing you know, you and Neteyam start to point and make ideas of how they could make this place theirs and theirs only.

_

The next few years, your relationship grew closer than ever. Though with Neteyam training as the next Olo’eyktan, you don’t see each other as often as you wished you did. Throughout the years you also couldn’t help but develop feelings for your friend. You admired everything about him. The way his hair swings, his gentle, kind eyes when talking with you, his smile and laughter all caused by you.

Never have you acted on those feelings. Afraid that it would not be reciprocated and end up hurt. Always having to push those feelings down like it was bile coming up from your throat. With these thoughts whirling through your head while sitting in your secluded spot, you didn’t notice the rustling coming from behind you.

Neteyam had just finished his daily duties, now tired just wanting to talk to someone. That someone would be you, the only person that could cheer him up. All his life, you were the one who would truly understand what he was feeling. Sometimes you wouldn’t always understand but you provided him words of comfort. Those words are enough for him because he knows you are true to your words. Seeing you sitting there gave him the idea to scare you. Knowing that you’re probably daydreaming, he took the chance to slowly creep up behind you and jump.

“RAH”

“AH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK TEYAM”

He doubled over laughing seeing how you reacted. You smacked his arm since he scared the living daylights out of you. Eventually you laugh along with him. Moments like these bring you much happiness.

“Why did you do that!?”

“Well I saw you daydreaming like always and saw it as an opportunity to scare you. You seriously need to stop doing that before you end up getting eaten by a palulukan”

Still laughing, both of you started fighting playfully. Flipping each other over, running around trying to catch each other. Neteyam loved moments like these, it gives him the time to feel like a child again. The feeling of being free.

Panting out of breath from constantly running, you both plop onto the soft grass beneath. Staring into the dark sky and looking at the stars. Finally asking Neteyam about his day.

“How was training and doing your mighty Olo’eyktan duties” teasingly asking, Neteyam sighs

“The usual, more of dad nagging at me and having to take on Lo’aks mistakes AGAIN”

You chuckle softly, knowing how Neteyam and Lo’ak get when he makes mistakes. Lo’ak only being a year younger, you had also formed a good friendship with him.

“You know, you don’t have to keep taking the blame for Lo’ak, at some point he will have to take the blame himself.”

“What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t”

You shrug not really knowing how to answer as you are an only child.

“You would still be a good one in my eyes”

He found solace in your words. He turns to you giving you a soft smile, a smile that makes your stomach churn.

“I think it is best we start heading back now before they set the alarms for a missing son”

You smiled widely while he rolled his eyes at you. Standing up and giving each other a tight embrace before bidding each other goodnight. Now parting ways, you enter your space greeting your mother.

“Out a bit late weren’t we?”

Giving you a knowing look, cheeks heating up and denying her unsaid claims quickly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about sa’nok”

“Mhm if you say so”

Your mother always knew that you had feelings for the young boy. She could only worry, as it seemed as though the boy didn’t see you the same way you saw him. She could only pray that nothing bad would happen to you.

_

Neteyam now returning, he sees that Lo’ak is still awake. No surprise there really, he always tends to stay up later than the rest. Though Lo’ak was surprised that Neteyam came this late, it is unusual for him to see his perfect brother out during this time.

“What are you doing out so late? I had to cover for your ass since you didn’t come back.”

“That is none of your business little brother”

Lo’ak squints his eyes at him. The only reasons that Neteyam would be out breaking rules would have to be because of another. But even that seemed like unusual behaviour from his brother.

“You were with someone weren’t you?”

“What makes you say that”

“You seem a bit too happy especially after training and such”

“Still do not know why you want to know”

A brief pause between them as Lo’ak realises who he was with. Ears now pulled back, jealousy visible. Of course, the only person he would break rules with.

“You were with y/n weren’t you?”

Neteyam is now confused as to why Lo’ak seems irritated with his own words.

“Why does that matter? So what if I was with y/n, she is my closest friend”

Hearing those words “friend” makes him even more irritated. Ever since you guys had gotten close, he’s seen the looks you send to Neteyam. Eyes full of love and admiration, just watching it pains him. Envious, he bumps into his brother's shoulder wanting to go for a calming flight with his Ikran before he lets his feelings get out of hand.

“Whatever, I’ll be back late”

Neteyam watches his brother leave, still unsure what he had done to make his brother mad.

You had been tossing and turning unable to sleep. Deciding that a late night flight may help. Walking to where your Ikran is resting you spot Lo’ak seemingly with the same plans as you.

“Lo’ak!” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb any clan members. Ears perking, spinning to the sound of your voice.

“y/n? Why are you here?” The question comes off a bit rude instead of curious.

“What, I can't have late night flights either? Feels like you don’t want me here”

You had only wanted that sentence to come off as a joke, but Lo’ak got flustered trying to rephrase what he had said.

“NO… I mean no no I didn’t mean it like that, I- I uh just meant you know I don’t see you up here often during this hour and you know I was just wondering why you were up here”

His rambling made you laugh. He looked at you, he felt relief knowing that you were just joking. He nudges your shoulder airly as you're laughing.

“Hey its not funny”

“You’re right sorry” Holding in more of your laughter, but you couldn’t and started laughing harder making your stomach and cheeks hurt.

“Haha it must be so funny laughing at me huh. Just tell me why you are here, you never answered me”

“S-sorry, it’s just your face, it was too funny not to laugh at. Though to answer your question, I couldn’t sleep”

Upon hearing that, Lo’ak plucked some courage to ask you if you wanted to join him since it seemed as though you were going to take a flight as well. You agree much to his relief. He was a nervous wreck inside as you guys never had much one on one time with each other. Most time spent together was with his other siblings. Now having you to himself for once, his heart could not calm down. Gliding through the air together, Lo’ak has yet to talk to you since taking off. Lost in thought and you had noticed.

“Lo’ak!”

You shout while pointing towards one of the floating mountains signalling that you wanted to land. Mounting off your Ikran and Lo’ak following behind you. You find a nice patch of grass to sit on and pat the spot next to you. He takes a seat and wonders why you wanted to land.

“It seems as though you have something bothering you Lo’ak. You can tell me, I promise I won’t tell anyone”

Softly smiling at him, he decided to speak his mind.

“Do, do you like Neteyam?”

He wanted to know a solid answer even if he suspected how you felt. He wanted to hear it from you. In no way did you expect this question. You looked at him with wide eyes, cheeks heating up again. Silence for a solid minute before you thought it was okay to speak.

“I do… a lot. But it is not like he returns those feelings. There are plenty of woman who are much better than me who are fit for teyam”

“You must be insane”

Turning to Lo’ak with a stunned look. Waiting for him to explain what he had meant by that. As for Lo’ak, he could not believe what he had just heard. First you confirmed your feelings for Neteyam but that went over his head as you mentioned how you felt that you were less than others.

“You are way better than many women in our clan, and so what if a few may excel in some things. You are perfect the way you are, any man in the clan would be extremely lucky to have you. Even Neteyam”

Saying his brother's name pained him, but you being happy was his top priority even if it meant you liking Neteyam.

“If I hear you bringing yourself down, I may just have to knock some sense into you. Like it’d be crazy if anyone denied that you were beautiful”

That last sentence slipped out of his mouth. He quickly looked down, a bit embarrassed that he had blurted that out. You on the other hand were at a loss of words. The only times you’ve been called beautiful were from your mother. Not even Neteyam has called you beautiful, only sweet. Knowing that someone feels as if you are worth something has tears gathering in your eyes.

“You think I'm beautiful?”

Lo’ak slowly brings his head up, making eye contact with you giving you the most sincere face. Playing with his fingers he opens his mouth.

“Of course… you’d have to be stupid to not think that”

He mumbles but you catch everything. You bring him into a tight hug knocking the air out of him. Lo’ak was stunned by the sudden embrace but slowly brought his arms up to hug back with a small squeeze. Never did you think that you’d be having this intimate moment with the younger brother but it felt right. Breaking the hug giving Lo’ak a final pat on the head. Lo’aks tail swishing back and forth with a faint purple hue on his cheeks. He couldn’t help but feel gleeful having a special moment like that with you.

Flying back you guys stole glances at each other and bumping Ikrans with loud shouts and light-hearted laughs. Unfortunately for Lo’ak, the night had come to an end when sending you off back home. Both now asleep with content smiles on their faces.

_

Feeling refreshed from the night before you go in search of Neteyam knowing that today was one of his off days. During these types of days, you and Neteyam would always take a stroll around the forest finally ending up at the hideaway. Walking through the village, greeting passing members of the clan, you finally spot Neteyam on training grounds.

“Teyam! I thought today you were free?”

Neteyam, startled by your sudden appearance, shot the arrow and missed his target. He sighs.

“Sorry Pasuk, I wanted to train a bit this morning just to enhance my skills a bit more”

Looking at you with apologetic eyes.

“Do you know when you will be finished then?”

Asking a bit eagerly as it’s been a while hanging out during the daytime. Even if you saw him last night, you missed him.

“I do not think I will be any longer. You can wait if you’d like but I can’t assure you that I will be of any entertainment”

Chuckling softly, telling him that it is okay and that you don’t mind waiting at all. If it was Neteyam you could wait an eternity for him. You sat down, a small distance away from him just admiring him. During these times you couldn’t help but just stare, his perfect stance, his focused face. Everything about him was… perfect. An aching feeling now returns, still knowing that he probably doesn’t return the same feelings. Distracted by your thoughts once again, you didn’t see the girl approaching Neteyam.

“NETE!”

Your ears perk up hearing a loud shrieking. Lifting your head up you see Fipxe, the one girl you couldn’t help but dislike. It wasn’t like she was rude or anything, it was the complete opposite. Fipxe was a very bright girl, also coming from a good family. Not only was she pretty but pleasant to be around. The one reason you don’t like her is because Neteyam seemed to like her around. He had that glimmer in his eyes that you had for him.

“Fipxe, nice to see you. Do you need something?”

Neteyam had asked in a soft tone. Your ears turned down seeing the interaction between the two.

“I was hoping we could walk around together after you finished your training here?”

He looked in your direction seeing that he wasn’t sure what to say. You decided to interrupt and speak for him in a polite tone.

“He was just about finished so he should be able to join you soon”

He turned to you with a confused expression because you had plans with him first. Instead you wave him off with a faint smile but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Pasuk, I thought we were going to walk around?”

“It is okay teyam. You spend enough time with me already, now hurrying and finish you don’t want to keep the girl waiting”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am sure, now stop stalling and finish with training”

You wave goodbye and watch them interact with each other. Your chest felt as if it was on fire. Not wanting to watch the scene anymore you sped away to distract yourself. Not knowing what to do, you just sat in your home and started to weave some more clothing items to keep unwanted thoughts away. Your mother walked in seeing you sat on the ground just radiating with sadness.

“What is wrong maite? You are usually with Neteyam these days are you not?”

Hearing his name again made you sink deeper into your sadness

“It is nothing, he had other plans so I am just keeping busy”

She knew something was wrong and pulled you into a hug giving you a squeeze. As you were hugging you heard someone opening the flaps of your home. It was Lo’ak. He gave your mother a quick greeting.

“Um hi miss l/n, is it okay if I stole your daughter for the day if she isn’t busy or anything”

Ears perking, seeing Lo’ak awkwardly standing at the entrance. Your mother nudged you, taking it as her wanting you to go out. Standing up greeting Lo’ak with a light punch on the shoulder. He took that as you being free, tail now swiping back and forth excited to show what he had planned. Your mother is looking at the scene with a faint smile.

Before Lo’ak had the idea to come to you, he saw that his brother wasn’t with you at all. Instead he saw him with another girl, and from the corner of his eyes he saw you walk away from their direction. He knew that something went wrong since you and Neteyam were always with each other. Quickly he formed an idea of things to do with you while slowly heading towards your space. Now with you standing beside him it was like his mind went blank.

“Soo Lo’ak, why did you need me?”

“Well uh, I uh”

Now stuttering over his own words, purple flushing his cheeks. You noticed and thought that it was adorable. Swatting those thoughts away, you must've thought you were insane for thinking that when you like Neteyam, his brother.  

“I uh, I thought we could hangout today seeing you aren’t with Neteyam…”

Seeing your ears turn down again at the thought, he was quick to stray away from mentioning Neteyam.

“I wanted to see if you’d like to go exploring with me or fly around?”

Finally perking up hearing those ideas, you gladly accept. Wanting to forget about Neteyam for a little while. Lo’ak sighing in relief knowing that you seem happier now. Both walking together side by side talking about small things and asking how Tuk and Kiri were. Along the way you had stopped Lo’ak to tell him that you wanted to check something real quick. That something was the hideaway. Telling him to stay put, you quickly dart towards the place promising Lo’ak you’ll be back in a sec.

You had dropped your hand blade the other night, guessing it might’ve fell while messing around with Neteyam. Reaching the said area, you froze in your spot hearing two familiar voices. You closed your eyes not wanting to see what you think it may be. Opening your eyes ever so slowly, you peak over the bush. Your chest never ached this hard ever before, it felt as if it had been torn out. The sight was Fipxe and Neteyam sitting beside each other in your special spot. They were laughing and pushing each other around. It felt as if you’d been replaced by the person you had been most worried about. You were able to hold in your feelings when it came to letting Neteyam be happy with someone else but this was something you could not forgive him for.

Not wanting to watch any further, you took off as fast as you could with tears gathering in your eyes threatening to fall at any second. Neteyam on the other hand had catched a glimpse of you. Eyes widening he apologised quickly to Fipxe and took off after you.

“PASUK. Y/N i can explain!”

Not wanting to hear his words you run even faster with tears now streaming down your face. Lo’ak had heard some shouting from a distance wondering what had happened. He saw you running towards him, he smiled but quickly faded seeing that you were crying. Quickly grabbing you before you could run past him.

“Why are you crying? What happened?”

At that moment Neteyam had finally caught up, seeing you in the embrace of Lo’ak. He felt a small twinge in his heart seeing the scene before him. Never did he mean for you to see that nor to make you cry. He wanted to reach out and comfort you but he retracted his hand as his brother gave him a deadly look.

Lo’ak knew right away once his brother emerged from the plants. He gave his brother a look of warning while comforting you in his arms. They start walking away with him rubbing your back. Neteyam could only walk away back to Fipxe, but hoping he could talk to you later at night knowing right now wasn’t the best time.

_

Crying now settled to sniffling, still in the arms of Lo’ak, grateful that he was here with you. He quietly spoke asking if you wanted to go somewhere more secluded. You nod slightly, now heading towards his Ikran as you weren’t fully stable enough to ride yours. He sat you infront of him, securing his arms around your frail body ready to take off. Flying smoothly through the air, now having a steady breath and heart rate. You lean into Lo’aks warm body until you were able to find a small area to land.

Landing softly on some plush grass on top of the mountains, Lo’ak helps you off his Ikran. Thoughts are still running through your mind, so many questions unanswered. Flinching when Lo’ak touched your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts. He holds your hand, guiding you to a flat area for you to settle on. Though reaching the spot, he still didn’t let go of your hand. Rather, he tightened his grip but not enough to hurt you.

Laying in silence, looking up towards the sky lost in thought once again. Instead of thoughts of Neteyam, it was thoughts about Lo’ak. How lucky you were to have him with you right now. Now thoughts filled with questions once again.

“Lo’ak?”

He turns towards you humming

“Is there something wrong about me?”

His eyebrows furrowed, not understanding what you had meant by that.

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, is there something about me that’s… unlikeable?”

He gave you an even more furrowed look, speechless with what you had just asked. He sat up grabbing both of your hands.

“No no absolutely not, you are extremely likeable. Whoever says anything different is crazy!”

You gave him a doubtful look not fully believing his statements. He sees through you and gently places his hand on your cheek.

“Y/n”

He tenderly spoke, plucking up the courage to say what he always has wanted to say.

“Ever since I've met you, I’ve always thought you were the most stunning girl out of everyone in the clan. Not only that, you’re kind-hearted, clever, and overall breathtaking. You always knew what to say when I’m having a hard time with everything. You speak to me with the sweetest tone and it is always reassuring for me knowing that you understand me.”

You place your hand over his, tears flooding once again. Tears of joy and a bright smile.

“Thank you Lo’ak”

A comfortable silence settled between the both of you. Staring at the stars. Lo’ak felt happy but there was just one thing gnawing at him endlessly. He didn’t want to ruin the mood but he needed to know why you still like Neteyam.

“Y/n?”

You hum looking towards him.

“I know you may not want to talk about this but I have to get it off my chest. Why do you still like Neteyam?”

Sorrow now falls over your once relaxed face. You knew it wasn’t good to keep all of this to yourself but the topic was always so difficult to talk about. You could only huff out air through your nose but you knew you could confine yourself to Lo’ak.

“Neteyam and I have been together ever since we were just babies. Growing up together, I couldn’t help but develop feelings for him. He was always kind to me and protected me. He possessed so many qualities that I couldn’t help but fall for him more. What made my feelings even more solid was the fact that we had a special place together, a hideaway. That was one of the reasons I was crying earlier. He was there when I stopped to check if my blade was there. He was with Fipxe, in our hideaway. That hideaway is so dear to me but seeing him there with someone else who isn't me broke me a little inside seeing I am so easily replaced. To answer your question, I don’t know. Normally after something like that you’re supposed to be mad but all I feel is disappointment. There is a part of me that wants to believe that it was a mistake but only one could dream. I’m in conflict with my own feelings and thoughts everyday.”

Fresh tears now fall on your cheeks. The aching feeling returns worse than before making it feel hard to breathe. Lo’ak acted fast pulling you into a tight embrace. You could only cry harder.

“It hurts so much Lo’ak”

You dig deeper into his chest wanting to get rid of the pain in your chest. He could only pull you closer and caress your head whispering words of consolation.

_

The flight back was silent after calming down, both unable to speak after the confession. Dismounting the Ikran, Lo’ak gave you one last hug before parting ways. You walked straight back home unable to control your thoughts with a hazy look on your face. Your head faced towards the ground, you bumped into someone's chest. You looked up to apologise, words stuck in your throat as you saw Neteyam with a desperate look on his face.

You try to walk past him not wanting to talk to him. He grabs your arm making you turn to him trying to shake him off.

“Let go Neteyam!”

He went wide-eyed, not once have you called him his full name.

“Pasuk please, I just want to explain”

Ears going back, giving him a hardened look. You hiss

“I do not want to talk about that”

Still attempting to shake his hand off your arm. Instead he grabs both arms now fully facing him.

“Please”

His voice strained, only wanting to talk. Face softening, you nod faintly letting him talk once more. He looks at you gratefully.

“I swear we were just walking and talking but we ended up near our hideaway. She saw it and started walking towards it and I couldn't stop her.”

You squint your eyes at him. Annoyance now taking over.

“You couldn’t stop her or you didn’t bother to tell her? You know fully well you could’ve told her that it wasn't her place to be there as it’s our special place!”

You were now enraged with the excuse Neteyam had spat out. You could not believe what you were hearing at all frankly. Neteyam now looked upset, blurting out something that broke your heart even more tonight.

“You think I would tell that to a girl I’ve been courting? “Our special place” you say, we aren't children anymore so grow up!”

Staring at him with disbelief, this was not the boy you once befriended nor one you fell for. The words “courting” are now ringing in your ears. All this time he kept this from you while you kept falling deeper and deeper. Your voice is weak, barely getting a word out.

“You’re courting her?”

Regret filling his face, he didn’t want you knowing just yet about his courtship to Fipxe. His tone is now quiet as well.

“I am…”

Mind trailing back to him saying that you were childish for mentioning “our special place.” Anger now apparent on your face once more.

“Not only that, you call me childish?! That place has been special to me since we were kids, the place where we meet and only us”

Sadness now takes over your anger not understanding why he was acting this way. Neteyam now had a stern look.

“Y/n, I feel it is time for us to put our youth behind us. We are at the age where we will have to find a mate. Not only that, I have to start living up to the Olo’eyktan title soon. I cannot continue running around with you even if you are my friend.”

“Are you hearing yourself, you are such a hypocrite. You say that you can’t run around with me when you are doing the exact same thing with Fipxe.”

Voices now get louder by the second and the aching feeling in your chest gets tighter. So tight it was like you couldn’t get a breath of air.

“That is different! I like Fipxe, you are only a friend”

“Only a friend” echoing in your mind. That is how he always viewed you and nothing more… nothing more. You wanted to burst out telling him that you saw him, loved him. Instead you shoved it so far down into your system, the love and admiration now turning into resentment. You could only blame yourself, insecurities resurfacing. You look at him with bitterness in your eyes. You finally rip his grip off of you as it loosened.

“Leave”

His ears now turned down looking at you with disbelief.

“What?”

“I SAID LEAVE. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU”

Voice hoarse, tears slowly falling. If your younger self were to look at you now, she would be bewildered not understanding why you guys were fighting. Neteyam shook his head and left you alone in the dark. He has never felt this much when it came to you. This night has shifted everything between the both of you.

Striding into your home, tears still falling down your face. Your mother was quick to pull you into a tight embrace.

“He has replaced me sa’nok. I feel as though I am nothing to him”

Her heart felt strained hearing her daughter in such pain. Doing her best to provide words of comfort. She softly rubs your back and caresses your head.

“Maite, one who causes pain is not worth your love. You mustn't shed tears for someone who doesn’t see your value”

Crying turned to soft sniffling. Still in your mothers embrace, you are thankful for your mother for always being there for you. You slowly fall asleep in her arms as she quietly sings you a lullaby. You feel as though you were a child being lulled to sleep.

Neteyam had entered his home, he still hadn't calmed down from the fight. Everyone was sleeping except for Lo’ak as he was unable to sleep after the confession. He saw his brother with a hardened look on his face. He got up alerting Neteyam that someone was awake.

“Lo’ak what are you doing still up, you should be sleeping”

“I could say the same”

Neteyam just sighed, not wanting to talk any further. That was until his brother grabbed his arm.

“Did something happen between you and y/n?”

Lo’ak had his suspicions as it wasn't too long after you guys had been together.  His brother's ears twitched, learning that his suspicions were indeed correct.

“What did you do?”

His voice lowered, now feeling uneasy.

“It has nothing to do with you Lo’ak.”

“It has everything to do with me”

Neteyam moved right into Lo’aks face, anger returning to his body. Taking his finger, digging it into his brother's chest.

“It. does. Not”

Backing away ready to go to his corner but froze in place hearing what Lo’ak said.

“You hurt her didn’t you”

Mentally or physically, Lo’ak didn’t know worrying him further about your well being. Neteyam grabbed him, dragging him outside not wanting to wake anyone.

“Why must you always involve yourself when it comes to me and her huh?”

Confused why Lo’ak must always insert himself between you and him.

“She means everything to me, seeing her hurt because of you hurts me”

Neteyam now understood, Lo’ak likes you. Another twinge in his chest returned, not knowing why.

“Do you know how many people she turned down because of you”

Now confused as to why you would do something like that. Lo’ak seeing that his brother looked confused.

“You seriously are dense aren’t you?”

Seeing as his brother still does not understand what he’s getting at. He suddenly exclaimed your secret.

“SHE LIKES YOU, YOU FUCKING SKXAWNG”

Body still, unable to process what had just been yelled. Multiple thoughts spinning in his head. Had he really been that oblivious to your feelings? When did you ever start feeling this way? Why didn't you tell him?

“You know, she tries to keep a strong act in front of you even if it hurts her. When she saw you with Fipxe she felt as if she was replaced Neteyam, REPLACED. Instead of telling you how she felt, she just left it alone wanting you to be happy. That was until you and Fipxe were somewhere you weren’t supposed to. I don’t know if you realise this but you barely have time for her anymore. That certain place was the only thing that still kept you guys together and she was content with that even if it meant you being happy with someone else. But you had to go and ruin that. I may be someone who is known for making trouble but never did I expect it from you. Whether you were blind to see what you were doing to her, you still hurt her in ways you can’t imagine. She comes to me and ends up crying BECAUSE of you. Brother I love you I really do but I cannot forgive you for hurting her. I will take your place if I have to.”

Feeling out of breath for speaking his mind, he left Neteyam outside heading back in with disappointment tracing his face. Neteyam just stood there not moving an inch. Still trying to process all the words that Lo’ak had remarked. You liked him? You felt replaced? He made you cry more than once? He sat down burying his face in his hands letting out a strangled sound. He felt tears now welling up in his eyes for some reason. Blaming himself for straining their friendship. Now he was thinking if things had been different if you had told him how you felt. He never really thought much about how he felt towards you. In his eyes you had always been just a friend but it didn’t explain why he was envious towards Lo’ak for being there for you.

Most of his life his main goals were to be a good Olo’ekytan - but being so busy he completely disregarded your feelings. He made it his goal to try and talk to you again any time he could. He quietly went into his sleeping space. Laying down he couldn’t sleep, instead just staring at the ceiling still thinking about the argument earlier with Lo’ak. Eyes now feeling heavy, he fell asleep determined to talk to you.

Being the next morning, you had gotten up extra early wanting to avoid a certain person at all costs. You didn’t want to see him after the events from last night. You felt both upset and embarrassed, upset from him being stupid and embarrassed from your sudden outburst. Not once did you want to think about him, you busied yourself by doing your daily chores and even assisting others wanting to stay busy.

Neteyam had been busy now returning to his daily training and chores. He had been distracted all morning even ignoring his father’s words, which ended up with him getting yelled at. He could care less, he had kept his eye out for you wanting to speak with you. When he did spot you, he tried calling for you but he got ignored in return. His father called him to come back, he only turned for a second but you disappeared from his view. This continued for the rest of the day, only for him to stumble across you talking with Lo’ak. You had a smile on your face, the smile caused by Lo’ak. He couldn’t help but feel… replaced. Was this how you felt when you said you felt replaced? He had thoughts that he should be the one in Lo’aks spot right now. The one to make you smile, not cry. Taking in Lo’aks words from last night, he was serious about taking his spot.

_

You had been avoiding Neteyam like a plague. Every time he spots you, you quickly disappear from his view. It kept repeating until you fumbled into Lo’ak, he caught you in his arms.

“Oh shit, sorry Lo’ak”

Apart from catching you, you also dropped some of the fruit you were carrying. Kneeling down gathering the fruit once again and Lo’ak helping you.

“No need to apologise. You seem awfully busy today”

He said in a teasing tone. You couldn’t help but sigh.

“Blame that on your brother”

His smile fell. Giving you a soft look and helping you up from the ground.

“Let me help you today hm?”

“Oh no I couldn’t ask that of you, you’re probably busy with your own chores as well”

“It is no big deal, plus I’m sure you could use the company”

He bumped your hip returning to his teasing manner. He saw a smile appearing on your face. It seems like cheering you up had worked, even his tail couldn’t help but sway. You felt undeserving of Lo’ak, though you appreciate his efforts in cheering you up. From the corner of his eyes he could see his brother, he was quick to act. He guided you away asking what you had to do next. His hand on your lower back made a fluttering feeling in your stomach. Instead of pushing the feelings away, you now welcome it. Ever since the night of the confession, it was like something changed within you. You were still conflicted with your feelings yes but things you do with Lo’ak just felt right, like it was meant to be. I know cliché am I right? But it did.

For the rest of the day, Lo’ak had assisted you in all your chores even playing around every so often. For once your mind wasn’t filled with Neteyam and negative thoughts. With Lo’ak you could really act your age instead of feeling like an adult.

Neteyam had given up for the day. You being with Lo’ak had made him feel weird feelings he doesn’t usually experience. Jealousy? Normally it didn’t bother him that you were around other men - knowing you were with his brother who liked you had him feeling this repulsive feeling. While lost in thought, Fipxe had come up to him.

“Neteyam?”

Being pulled out of his thoughts, he looked around seeing Fipxe standing behind him. He put on a small smile.

“Oh Fipxe hi, did you need something?”

“Oh no, it just looked like you were spaced out and wanted to check if you were okay”

He couldn’t help but feel bad. Fipxe is such a bright girl, extremely nice as well. He knew she meant well and he wanted to talk to her about some private matters. He knew at some point he would have to tell her about that certain spot as well.

“I don’t know if I'm okay. Would it be okay if we talked, there’s some things I needed to talk to you about”

She nods a bit, sensing that something was wrong. They walked together to a small secluded area and sat down.

“What is it that you wanted to talk about? I’m not in trouble am I?”

Trying to be a bit humorous seeing that the atmosphere is a bit dull. Seeing that he did not smile, she knew the matters were serious.

“No nothing like that, I am just confused. But there is something else I must speak about before I start the other matter at hand.”

She could only nod again urging him to continue.

“The place that you found, the small pond in the secluded area. That place was a very special place to me and someone else. Someone else being y/n.”

Guilt had filled her system not knowing the area was someone's private hideout.

“How come you didn’t tell me? I would’ve understood, I know how close you two are”

Hearing her say that she would’ve understood made him feel even worse.

“I do not know, I thought it would be okay if we stayed for a tiny bit but I lost track of time”

She saw that he now had a solemn look, she felt bad as well but it didn’t justify what he did. She also predicted what he may be confused about, you.

“I'm guessing you are also conflicted about her aren’t you?”

Fipxe felt sad knowing that she was right seeing his surprised face. Except she wasn’t taken aback, she has seen the looks he gave you. Looks full of endearment, his eyes even dilated when he looks towards your direction. Only problem was that he couldn’t see it himself nor see that it also hurt Fipxe at the same time. She had hoped it was just a small feeling as she really liked Neteyam too. Fipxe knew it all ended at some point, cherishing the moments she shared with Neteyam.

“I’m sorry, Fipxe. I’m not sure what to feel anymore, everything has become so complicated. I feel as though our friendship has deteriorated because of me.”

“Neteyam, I like you a lot. I want you to know that. I’ve seen how you look at her. You should try talking things out with her, even if you are not together the least you can do is stay friends. I know the friendship is very dear to you but you cannot like two people at once”

He thought hard about what he should do. He turned to Fipxe and thanked her, pulling her into a hug. He apologised once more before they parted ways. He was nervous to say the least, trying to think of what to say once he was finally able to catch you. He decided that it was best to wait till the next day feeling tired.

Nearing the eclipse, you and Lo’ak had finished up your last chores. Huffing with content you turn to Lo’ak who also did the same.

“Thank you for helping me today Lo’ak, I really appreciate it”

He took your hands looking at you with a smile.

“Always. If you ever need me just shout and i’ll come running”

Cheeks heating up to a faint purple colour. Looking at his eyes, you never realised how pretty they were. His stripe patterns were unique, and you couldn’t help catching a glimpse of his lips. You snapped out of thought. Now it was your turn to be a mess in front of Lo’ak.

“Oh um uh, sorry for staring, I uh I should start heading home. Don’t want my mother nagging me”

He couldn’t help enjoying the adorable sight of you fumbling your words in front of him. He felt his chest blooming knowing he had an effect on you. For some reason he had a surge of confidence. Before you could turn away to walk home, he caressed your face and gave you a peck on your forehead. It was like time froze, wide eyed you stared at him with shock. Now Lo’ak was flushed with purple, surprised himself. He was now fumbling over his words.

“Um yea I should get going now too, yea. Uh goodnight”

He quickly turned around and started striding away feeling embarrassed of himself but also giddy. You are still standing in place, hand slowly touching your forehead right where he kissed. Both face and ears are bright purple, thoughts running “oh my god, he just kissed me??” A wide smile appears on your face, you couldn’t even control your tail. You finally started moving towards your home with a little pip in your steps. Opening the flaps entering, your mother sees you radiating a positive energy.

“You are unusually happy. Did something good happen?”

Facing your mother with a wide smile still present on your face. You didn’t want to tell her just yet making up a lie for your current mood.

“Oh nothing much I just had a good time with my chores today. I can be happy while doing chores, right?”

The excuse was horrible but your mother knew best not to question any further.

“Well it would be a bit odd but there are plenty who find joy from doing chores”

She was glad to see her daughter happy once again. Even though she doesn’t know what or who caused you to smile like a madman. She could only laugh while shaking her head going back to making accessories. You on the other hand couldn’t stop thinking about it. You cringe at yourself for acting the way you are but it was hard not to.

Lo’ak had made it back home also feeling ecstatic. It was only his siblings that were here while his parents were out on what they call a “date night.” Kiri noticed him first with his positive attitude.

“What’s gotten you all weirdly happy?”

Neteyam ears perked up, head turning to the happy Lo’ak.

“Oh it's nothing you need to know”

Tuk now joins the conversation curious why her big brother wouldn't tell them.

“Lo’ak pleeeaasse, I want to know too!”

“Mmmmm nope”

Denying them again with a loud popping sound. Kiri tried convincing him one more time as they were all wondering about his uppity attitude.

“Come on Lo’ak. How about you tell me only, I won’t tell anyone else I swear”

He thought about it knowing Kiri won’t stop pestering him about it. Soon enough he just sighs giving in. He walks over to Kiri and whispers into her ear about his interaction with you. Her eyes widened with her jaw dropped. She had always known about Lo’aks little crush on you but for him to actually act on it was unimaginable.

“Did you actually?!”

She punched his shoulder as a happy gesture. He only nods his head with a smile while rubbing his arm. Neteyam was now even more curious, wondering what he had told Kiri.

“Who knew, I thought you would wuss out if you ever got the chance to do that”

Tuk so desperately wanting to know the secret started pulling at Lo’aks arm.

“I wanna know too! Please Lo’ak, I promise I won’t tell either!”

Giving him puppy dog eyes, he was debating whether or not to share with his baby sister. He decided against it mainly because he knows Tuk won’t be able to keep to herself for very long.

“Sorry Tuk but only Kiri shall know. Plus you aren’t good with secrets especially with you snitching on me to mom”

She pouts and murmurs to herself saying that she’s good at keeping secrets. He chuckles at the sight while walking over to his sleeping mat. Neteyam plans on asking Kiri later about what the secret was knowing she wasn’t good at keeping secrets from him.

“Anyways, I bid you all goodnight”

They all looked at him like he was crazy. This was the earliest Lo’aks ever gone to bed. Neteyam took this chance to ask Kiri what the secret was. Before asking he double checked that Lo’ak was passed out by poking him. Satisfied with no reaction he walked over to Kiri.

“Kiri, what did Lo’ak tell you?”

She wasn’t sure if she should tell him knowing that you and him were close.

“I don’t think It would be a good idea if I told you”

That got Neteyam thinking of what the secret may be. Lo’ak won’t tell him, Kiri doesn’t think it's a good idea for him to know. It only really meant two things, either Lo’ak fucked up one of Neteyams personal items or it’s about y/n. He took a wild guess between the two.

“Is it about y/n by any chance?”

Kiris face only confirmed his suspicions.

“It is…”

Kiri brought him outside away from Lo’aks sleeping figure. She thought it would be best not knowing how Neteyam would react.

“You have to promise me you won’t get angry or anything like that okay?”

Although unsure, he only nodded faintly mentally preparing himself for the worse.

“Okay, Lo’ak told me that he finally got the chance to make a move on y/n”

Kiri quickly blurted it out. Neteyam wasn’t sure what to feel. Kiri saw that he wasn’t reacting much not knowing if that was a good sign or not.

“Neteyam? Are you okay?”

He waved her off.

“I’m uh I’m okay, could just leave me to think for a little bit?”

She wasn’t sure if he was okay to be left alone but she complied heading back in. Neteyam on the other hand, again was conflicted not knowing how he should feel. Lo’ak made a move? On you? He didn’t notice his tail twitching with agitation, and his ears turned back. Is this exactly how you felt when you had the feeling of replacement? Most of his life, Lo’ak had gotten an easier life even if he got in trouble often. Now he’s slowly taking away his closest friend. He wasn’t even sure what you guys were anymore. More determined than ever, he was going to talk to you tomorrow no matter what.

_

Waking up you felt more refreshed than ever. Saying a quick morning to your mother before stepping out. Memories from last night are still fresh in your head, a purple hue now taking over your face again. Today was an off day for you, you planned on asking Lo’ak if you wanted to join you for a stroll. On the way something clicked in your mind, Neteyam. Coincidentally Neteyam was headed straight towards you. You see him in a distance, right as you turn around regretting coming out he yells for you.

“Y/N! I just want to talk, please!”

You weren’t sure what to do. You still had feelings of resentment against him but you also miss him. Except this time, your feelings had shifted, you missed the friendship you shared with Neteyam. You chose to stop, turning to face him now only a mere couple steps away. A little out of breath, he now stands in front of you.

“Thank you, for stopping”

Only giving him a curt nod.

“What did you want to talk about”

Tone uninterested, not wanting to meet his gaze. The view only made him feel regretful, seeing how much their relationship strain had affected you. He decided it was best to get straight to the point.

“I-I missed you, okay? I miss being around you, the argument we had two days ago, I never meant any of it. I do not think you are childish and I regret not telling Fipxe that our spot was special and secret to us only. I finally told her about it yesterday, and she made me realise that you were right about me being in the wrong for not telling her about our hideaway. And, she made me realise how I felt about you…”

The only thing you processed out of everything he said was his last words. Face now filled with discontent, you pushed his chest.

“You cannot do this to me right now! Do you understand how much I had to go through because of you! Neteyam I love you I really do but it is not the same love that I used to hold for you. I miss you as well but not in the same way you do. I’m glad that you were finally able to tell her about the hideaway that was once special but we are way past that now. I miss how we used to be, best friends. What’s even worse about this situation right now is you leaving Fipxe, someone you were COURTING. I truly cannot understand you anymore, I don’t even know if you understand what your feelings towards me are. I’ve moved on Neteyam, I’m happier now but I can’t stay happy if you keep confusing me. I need you to get your feelings in check before you come to talk to me again.”

Not waiting for a reply, you push past him wanting to retrieve Lo’ak. No matter how much Neteyam wanted to pull you back, he only knew it’d make things worse but you were right. He had to figure out his feelings.

Arriving at Lo’aks home, you gently pull the flap back seeing the family eating together. They all turn towards you with small looks of surprise on their faces. Giving Lo’ak a quick glance first before turning to his parents. You made your hand gesture towards them, giving you small smiles. Jake was first to speak.

“Y/n, Neteyam actually just left if you were wondering where he was.”

“oh , I uh was actually here to see if Lo’ak was available to join me on a stroll around the forest?”

Their eyes widen, normally used to you being here for Neteyam.

“We were going to do a bit of training but I think Lo’ak can skip it just for today”

Lo’ak looks at his father thanking him for dismissing him. He stands quickly excited to have another moment alone with you. Neytiri and Jake watch as their youngest son looks at you like you were the only thing that existed in his world. They look back to each other with knowing looks, smiling softly knowing their younger son has someone to look after him.

Walking side by side, you still felt unsettled from earlier. It seemed that Lo’ak had noticed grabbing your hand as a sign of comfort. You looked up to him, giving him a slight grin reassuring him that you were fine. Trying to shake off the feeling, you move closer leaning into him. He looked down examining your face, wanting to engrave it into his brain. When you leaned in, he rested his head on top of yours while you guys continued to walk through the forest. Suddenly he pulled away, you looked at him confused. Lo’ak abruptly started running and yelled out.

“Catch me if you can!”

Snapping out of your small trance you start to run after him.

“LO’AK YOU SKXAWNG GET BACK HERE”

Only to hear him laugh out loud. One thing he forgot about you was how fast of a runner you were. You caught up to him in mere seconds. Getting ready to lunge at him, he took a sharp turn. Which made you end up landing in a small spring. He stopped running and looked around just to see you in the water soaked. He cackled hard.

“I swear to god Lo’ak, I am going to skin you!”

“Hey I won’t help you if you keep threatening me”

You mock his words sarcastically under your breath. He starts walking away hearing your mocking but you were quick to apologise.

“IM SORRY, now help me out! This was your fault in the first place running and everything”

“Fine fine cause you asked SO nicely”

You roll your eyes at him but with a small smile on your face. That smile widening as an idea popped in your head. Lo’ak reaches the edge and puts his arm out to help you out. You were quick to grab his arm now pulling him into the spring with you. A small shriek coming out from his mouth.

“Whos laughing now”

He emerged from the water giving you an offended look. That look turned into a mischievous grin, regretting what you had done you try swimming away from him. He wraps his arms around your waist before you could get any further lifting you out of the water.

“NO WAIT LO’AK IM SORRY. PUT ME DOWN”

“You should’ve thought your plans through before involving me in them”

Speaking “calmly” he proceeds to throw you further into the spring. Emerging out of the water, it was your turn to look offended. You swam towards him, both of you now fighting in the water with laughter spilling from your lips. After a couple minutes, now tired, floating in the water on your backs. Lo’ak went upright treading in the water - he spun around to look at you, your eyes closed embracing the water surrounding you admiring your peaceful figure. Feeling his gaze, you changed your floating stance into treading like Lo’ak.

“What, is there something on my face?”

Asking in a joking tone. Except Lo’ak didn’t laugh, instead he swam closer to you. Purple appearing on your cheeks looking deeply in his eyes, him doing the same. He glances down to your lips, holding himself back not wanting to act on his impulsive thoughts. Rather, he opened his mouth to speak in a delicate tone.

“Would it be okay if I could kiss you…?”

You paused not responding but took action. You connect your lips to his, responding immediately to your kiss he kissed back. The kiss was strong yet soft, you have never felt anything like this. Butterflies fill your stomach and sparks go off in your brain. Breaking the kiss to breathe, you look at each other with adoration now breaking into wide grins.

“Who knew you had it in you Lo’ak”

“I should be the one saying that after you kissed me first”

Both giggling like children, you nod your head towards the edge indicating you wanted to get out of the water now. Drying yourselves off, both of you stealing glances at each other. On the way back, his arm was wrapped around your waist while your tail entangled with his. You never wanted the day to end after sharing such an intimate moment.

Reaching your home, Lo’ak asked if he could ask your mother something important. Though curious on what he had to ask you let him come inside. Upon going inside, you see your mother working on some new clothing items. She turns to see who had entered, seeing you and Lo’ak together hand in hand. A little surprised at the scene before her, Lo’ak greeted her with a polite manner.

“I was wondering if I could ask you a rather important question?”

Your mother nodded, interested in what he was going to say. Neither did you or your mother expect those words to leave his mouth.

“May I court your daughter?”

She abruptly stood up, ecstatic from his question. You were the exact same, your eyes wide open. Your mother quickly ushered him to sit down wanting to talk to him in a more comfortable manner. All of you now settled on the ground, she turned to Lo’ak with a more serious look on her face.

“Why is it you ask to court my daughter?”

“I love your daughter dearly. When I see her she lights up my day like a ray of sun. She is kind, and a compassionate being. She brings me joy and I’m hoping I bring her joy too. I want her to be my mate someday but I want to be able to court her properly first.”

Tears filling your eyes, you felt so lucky to have Lo’ak. Looking at your mother now waiting for approval. Her face splits into a gentle smile.

“I would be grateful for you to court my daughter”

As soon as those words left her lips you jumped into Lo’aks arms crushing him with a hug. He had wind knocked out of him as you hit him with a hard hug. Your mother, laughing at the scene unfolding in front of her. Lo’ak sat back up after being tackled and turned to your mother.

“Thank you”

She only smiles at him knowing you are well taken care of now. You pull him off the ground pushing him towards the entrance. Giving your mother one last glance telling her you’ll be a little while before heading outside. Bringing him into another hug, more affectionate rather than a full on tackle. You tucked your head in his chest, his head resting on top of yours. You could hear his heartbeat, it was beating at a quick rate only making you smile more. Bringing your head out from his chest, you look up to him. Only thinking how much euphoria he really does bring you.

“You do bring me joy just as much as I bring you joy”

You felt as if you were on cloud nine just by admiring him. Today was a new milestone in your life.

_

While Lo’ak was gone during the day with you, Neteyam spent the time thinking. He was still confused about his feelings and it made him frustrated because he didn’t want to lose you or Fipxe. Instead of moping around he decided it was best to continue his daily chores while he still tried getting his feelings sorted out. Once it reached the end of the day he sat outside waiting on Lo’ak wanting to speak with him.

Lo’ak made it back home still happy from the events that happened earlier. Making his way to the entrance he sees Neteyam sitting out front waiting for him. Neteyam looks up to Lo’ak giving him a sincere yet tired face. He patted the spot next to him asking Lo’ak to sit with him.

“Lo’ak how do you know you love someone?”

Lo’ak was taken aback. Neteyam had always looked strong with walls built around his emotions. Now looking at his brother, he has never seen him so vulnerable before. He can only assume that he was talking about you. He felt sympathetic towards his big brother knowing that this was hard on him too. Turning to him he gave him the most truthful words he could think of when you thinks of you.

“Loving someone isn’t really something you know right away, but when you do realise those feelings it’s like nothing else matters anymore. When you look at them, you see them as the most radiant being ever. Your heart can’t calm down when you’re around them. Your thoughts are always filled with them.”

He took a brief pause seeing that Neteyam’s face finally looked at ease. Lo’ak could see the conflict in him finally settling. He thought now would be a good time to bring you up in the conversation.

“I’m not sure if you love y/n my brother. Yes you love her but not in the way I do. I know how precious she is to you but the way I see it is you not wanting to let her go.”

Neteyam could only smile at his baby brother. He wasn’t sure when Lo’ak had gotten so wise but he was thankful for him using it tonight.

“Who knew my baby brother was so smart with his words?”

He teased ruffling his braids, chuckling softly.  

“All the years I've known y/n she always had a special place in my heart. I always saw her as a sister you know? Though the moment I messed up, I started panicking. It was the first time in forever that we’ve had an argument as serious as that. Once she started distancing herself from me and getting closer with you, I couldn’t help but feel envious. I shouldn’t have felt that way, I had no right to do so. I really do like Fipxe and she's helped me through a lot as well. I think two different problems that were so closely related made things harder as it only confused me more. Now that you’re here it seems like you’ve really made things easier somehow. I finally knew how she felt too, feeling replaced I mean. It was definitely not a fun feeling.”

Lo’ak gave him a small punch to the shoulder with a small smile. He was glad he could help his brother instead of it being the other way around.

“Think you are ready to talk to her?”

“Yes, but I can’t help but feel nervous. The last time we talked ended up in an argument which was mostly my fault.”

“Brother I can promise you that it would mean the world to her if you talked to her tomorrow. I know she misses you and I'm sure you miss her just as much.”

They had spent the rest of the night bonding and joking around, catching up on everything they missed out on in each other's lives. Lo’ak had finally told Neteyam about him courting you with a shy demeanour. Neteyam was shocked to say the least but he was proud seeing his brother grow. He was happy for you too, genuinely this time. He knew he would have to talk to you first thing tomorrow.  Both brothers yawning, now tired from all the talking head in to sleep. They give each other one more glance before saying goodnight to each other. Finally Neteyam felt light, the burden that was once laying heavily on his shoulders has now disappeared. He finally got a good night of sleep knowing everything will be okay now.

_

Neteyam had woken up bright and early wanting to talk to you as soon as possible. Leaving quickly while saying a quick bye to his parents, he ran off to see you. Running there he couldn’t tell if his heart was restless from running or being nervous. He bumped into a few clan members apologising to them while still running. All them wondered what had the Olo’eyktans son in a hurry. After a couple minutes he finally reached your home. He saw your mother outside getting ready to leave. He stopped her just before she left asking where you were. She had told him that her daughter mentioned going somewhere with a pond and going on about how she was acting crazy, shoving fruit down her throat causing her to choke on them. He disregarded the last few words but immediately he knew where to go, giving a quick thanks to your mother.

You woke up early, earlier than you usually do. After yesterday you felt amazing but there was just something that felt missing. You thought back to the hideaway and decided whether or not to visit one last time. Feeling a bit hesitant you finally just said fuck it. Your mother was up as well preparing some fruits to eat. You got up ready to leave before your mother called out to you.

“Maite, where are you going so early?”

“Oh i’m just going out to check out a pond real quickly”

“Eat some fruit first, best not to go on a empty stomach”

Even though you wanted to go you knew it was best to go against your mothers wishes. You walk back bending down to sit in front of your mother. She gave you a plate of assorted pandorian fruits. You give your mother a slow look before you shoved fruit in your mouth eating as fast as you could. Your mother looked flabbergasted, and smacked your arm to slow down before you could choke. Except you did choke, now coughing uncontrollably while your mother stared at you with a deadpan look.

“I told you to listen and look what happened”

Your coughing had died down while your mother slapped your back to help you. You thank your mother for the meal and helping you with your coughing. Standing up finally heading out to the hideaway. On the way, you admire the plants around you, never getting tired of the scene before you. Looking at the pond from a distance away, you felt downhearted knowing what happened the last you were here. You noticed your blade laying on the ground, you had completely forgotten about it - picking it up you tucked it away. Slowly approaching, you sit by the edge of the pond pondering how everything changed. You carefully skim the surface of the water with your hand, going back and forth making small waves. Little fishes surround your hand, a smile graces your face. Lost in dreamland, you didn’t notice the figure behind you.

Neteyam was running to the hideaway wanting to see you. He stopped a small distance away seeing you sit by the pond. He felt a sense of deja vu seeing you daydream again. He slowly approached you calling your name softly not wanting to alarm you.

“y/n?”

You heard a familiar voice, your breath hitched not sure if you wanted to turn around. He saw that you flinched, now that his presence was known he walked towards you. He carefully sat down beside you dipping his feet in the pond. You weren’t sure how to react, you thought that it was best to look at the pond instead of him. He knew you wouldn’t talk first so he continued.

“I talked with Lo’ak last night.”

Your ears twitched, taking a small peak from the corner of your eye.

“We talked about you specifically. He spoke with much love about you, it only made me realise what my feelings really were. I love you, I do but it seems as though it is not the same love as Lo’ak holds for you.”

Finally fully facing him, still unsure what emotions were running through you - but your heart bloomed knowing Lo’ak really loves you. Neteyam speaks up once more but in a more delicate tone.

“I have missed my closest friend, and I am hoping that she can forgive me for everything I've done?”

It was like a rollercoaster of emotions that hit you all at once. Tears flood your eyes, you tackle him into a hug. The moment lasted a second before the both of you fell into the pond. You both fell with a scream now fully emerged in the water. You had completely forgotten that both of you were by the pond. Resurfacing, you turn to each other exchanging shocked looks before bursting out in laughter. That missing feeling that you felt earlier had now vanished, you felt complete.

“I have missed you too ma teyam”

It was his turn to now tackle you into another hug, again going underwater. The hug turned into wrestling, until the both of you became extremely tired out. Panting while crawling out of the pond, smiles crawling up your faces knowing that things have been fixed. Neteyam turned to you with a cheeky smile.

“So, I heard that my baby brother is courting you..?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, you slapped his arm.

“He told you already?? And without me? I am going to punch that skxawng”

A chuckle slipped through his mouth.

“I may have to come and watch that unfold”

You roll your eyes at him while shaking your head laughing lightly with him.

“Have you talked with Fipxe yet?”

Ah Fipxe, he wanted to talk to her but he hasn’t gotten the chance, being busy trying to make amends with you.

“Not yet, but I will.”

He took a long pause.

“I feel as though I need to hold off on a mate for a little while, especially with everything that has happened. With more responsibility now building up, it’s hard keeping up with everything going on”

Remorse covering your features, you could only understand to a limit when it came to the pressure he handled as future Olo’eyktan. You touch your fist to his shoulder pushing lightly.

“Come on, try not to dwell too much on all that. You can always rely on your siblings and me. You don’t always have to keep up that stoic act”

Eyes squinting as you give him a reassuring smile. Minutes passed as if they were seconds when talking with each other. Wanting to catch up on anything you missed. He couldn’t help but ask about earlier when your mother had mentioned you were choking on food. You could not believe your mother told him about that. When you explained it to him, you knew he would forever tease you about it. Everything was back to how it was. The replacement feeling now dispersed into thin air as if it never existed.

_

You had to eventually go back to the village knowing you guys would get too carried away with your talking. Neteyam went to go talk with Fipxe, wanting to work things out and tell her about his situation of not wanting a mate for the time being. She understood and they hugged it out. As for you, you went to Lo’ak. Spending the rest of the day with him, finally settling into a small grassy area, laying down looking at the stars. Arms draped across Lo’aks chest while you lay on top of his arm. A calming feeling when listening to his heartbeat. You look up to him, chin now resting on his chest.

“Oel ngati kameie”

His infectious grin grew wide, he leaned down to give you a chaste kiss on your lips. Finally pulling away, looking deep into your pretty eyes.

“Oel ngati kameie atan”

Everything was back in place.

#neteyam x reader #loak x reader #neteyam x oc #avatar the way of water #neteyam sully #loak sully #fluff #angst

[littledrummerangie]

So hello hello good evening Budapest. I'm finally home, it's midnight and and and I had the best time of my life!

Many many highlights of the soundcheck and the show:

My question for soundcheck was picked fiiiirst? Hello??? It was absolutely crazy!

The VIP rep, Athena was an absolut angel, big shout out to her! I had a good talk with her after soundcheck and she was he sweetest.

The guys played Long Way Home and Out Of My Limit.

Before questions the VIP rep asked our names and I told her she can say Angie insted of my Hungarian name.

So she did introduce me "someone who her friends know as Angie", and Michael was like: "and what do people call you who you do not consider as friends?" So I had to tell him that basically anyone before age 15 knows me as my real name, and after that, when I started using the internet and didn't like my name I picked up Angie. So he said, okay, Angie.

My question was: what arw you bringing home from tour (souvenir, memory, feeling).

Ash said his mom always asks for fridge magnets and was like "fuck, Mom, no, it would need its own suitcase" and he said he likes travelling light

Luke said a qeak immune system and he stoles keycards from the hotels he sþays in and has tons

Michael said he gets lot of baby clothes and didn't know how much stuff a baby needs

Calum said he has really good memories of this tour

At thw beginning they also was talking about Buda and Pest, as mentioned by Ash in the IG story.

Other questions were about:

How they choose what they wear. Ash and Luke said they try bot to clash with the others and look ridiculous. They basically go by what Cal chooses, becauee Michael goes by him, and then the rest tries not to clash with them. Look also mentioned whatever he can paid up that he didn't do previously, and how he feels that day.

They asked about the Flatline chorus and Luke did listen to the song on his phone to figure it out... but I'm still not sure as they were also unsure lol.

They asked about the RAH orchestra and how it was a bit hard working with them because they only stayed until their time was up, and they are speaking different musical languages.

And lastly they asked about how they feel when they release a really emotional, personal song and if it's hard to do. They said of course, and how everyone has their own interpretation on songs, and sometimes it's best not to know the original thought and have your own on them.

There was also a fly trying to get into Luke's tea and Ashton kinda looked scared of it because he stood up.and took two steps backwards.

Both Charlotte Sands and AR/CO were amazing.

I was on Michael's side, 2nd row.

Ashton was wearing those silly ass chekered sunglasses for like half the show lol. But he has the biggest biceps in the world oh god.

They were cuteeeee. Michael was so precious. So happy.

We got Wrapped Around Your Finger.

They guys enjoyed Budapest, and said it was a special show because it'a in the last 3 for a long time now.

Also, there was a point where Ash said something about Calum abd I was like... boyfriends.

Michael couldn't sing Best Friends because Luke was being silly and they just started histerically laughing.

Michael remembered and made a joke about last year's KFC thing and someone had a fake/plush KFC bucket hat on and they were making fun of that.

He ended up wearing it for the beginning of Outer Space.

(Terrible photo, sorry. Didn't take much pics.)

Saw Ash at the very end on my side and he is beautiful and smiley. I love him. 🩷🫶

Tagging some peeps for story time: @kindahoping4forever @nostalgiabones @whentherosesbl00m @suchalonelysunflower

#5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #angie x 5sos #the 5sos show budapest

[redjennies]

i'm going to start taking screenshots of "Things Liberals (yes, liberals. if you don't want to be called a duck, don't quack like one.) Say On Those Vote Blue No Matter What Posts" so y'all understand that I'm not just angry at the posts themselves. this not me telling you "rah rah, i'm your preconceived notion of an anarchist. no, don't vote blue! i hate democracy and sunshine and rainbows and love bombs and chaos!" I mean all of that is true, obviously, (/joke) but that's not why I'm saying it. I'm saying it because I'm exhausted because every single one of them inevitably features some borderline American propaganda nonsense like this in the replies that y'all are reblogging entirely uncritically:

truly! how fucking naive do you have to be to sincerely believe that Joe Biden is actually a secret ally in this? "advocating for justice and peace behind the scenes." I'm sorry but what? perhaps he will bring peace, though i suspect in the same way Henry Kissinger was called a "peacemaker," but justice? when has the United States ever been an instrument of justice? this is at best, a child's delusion that there are, in fact, good men in the government or at worst, the most cynical propaganda, and I must laugh to keep from screaming. tell of the United State's desire for justice to the people of near any other country, and they will laugh and scream at you, too. I will say this: in the matter of genocide, there is no difference between a man who calls for it in public and a man who decries it in public but still sends financial and military aid to those who commit genocide. there is no "just a dash of" genocide, and there are no bonus points for loyalty when the dead are still dead.

vote for Biden. I probably will tick the box, too, even though it really makes no difference in the state of Tennessee, but do not lie to yourselves. what you are saying is that you do not want to suffer under Trump and the Republican's policies and that Trump will make things even worse both in the US and through foreign policy, and that is not an inaccurate statement. you are saying that it will be easier to protest Biden than protest Trump, and that's not an inaccurate statement either. I'm not going to tell you it's all okay because you don't have a choice, that you're still a good person and the dead understand, absolving you of everything, but I am saying not to lie to yourself and others just so you can placate your need to feel good about yourself. I'm saying that when you vote for Biden, you should feel it. you should grapple with this double consciousness you exist under and feel repulsed by it. you should hate Joe Biden and the empire of this the United States, that has already committed and aided in many genocides and needless wars before this. you should do it, but not for a second should it feel like you're doing the right thing, proud of your contribution to American "democracy," as you stick your head in the sand.

#dont boo me im right

[monstrouslyobsessed]

…tumblr can you go and soak yourself in a burning pit of hot sauce…i never even got notifs of any of the older asks i got…

so very sorry if you've been waiting for like two months on my answers;;; and here i was wondering how dead my inbox was last month…rude, tumblr, very rude. all the asks are under the cut!

just a quick note, to the super sweet asker who send in two very long asks v recently, ima answer them separately after this one, if thats okay!! &lt;3

tw / tags: dirty confession, monster fucking, breeding mentions, implied noncon, brief pregnancy mentions, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: lady hyena, the lioness, conservative lion, papa bull, duke, cerelos, father fox, velarius

I love Daddy Bull and Duke, (along with so many other of your works!), do you have any plans on doing a confrontation between the two bulls and the reader? My thirst is dryer than the Sahara for these two bulls. I need more content. I’m a desperate whore… 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。 —anonymous

hm i'm STILL chewing on how this saga should go tbf because it really could go any way!!! i might just bite the bullet and write au's of papa bull and duke saga, even if i feel a little weird making varying storyline au's of my characters.

it was just supposed to be a bull daddy enjoying his little human, how did duke end up there lol

I know everyone is dying over Baldur’s gate rn but have you heard of Lustful Desires on itch.io? I just got into it and I’m dying to talk about it. They literally let you have a poly relationship with 3 different werewolves it’s so good —@flameshadowwolf

i've never heard of it! ima have to check it out now, thanks for the rec &lt;3

Sorry if you consider this a request, but I'm very interested about your OC's yandere MBTI types (from @ddarker-dreams), so if you feel like it, can you identify them in this system? —anonymous

i…ah, am kinda bad with these mbti things. idk if its because i'm older than most writers i know (hi lock my love!! hope you're doing fantastic!), but i guess i can make my best attempt…? i'll just pick a few characters and list them for ya. if you want more specific characters or want me to make an official post with expanded explation, lmk and i'll make my best attempt

here's the link for anyone who are interested

lady hyena: reverent, delusional(?), manipulative (?), lenient, rdml the lioness: reverent, aware, honest, and strict(?), rahs conservative lion: cruel, aware, honest, and strict, cahs papa bull: reverent, delusional, honest, and strict(?), rdhs duke: cruel(?), delusional, manipulative, and strict, cdms father fox: reverent, aware, honest, and lenient(ish), rahl valerius: reverent, delusional(?), manipulative, and lenient, rdml

that's just a few! and they're all beastfolks since they're more fresh in my mind, aha. i tried my best hhh

Thirst chat thought: Have you ever thought that Cerelos could just find a way to tie up his wife underneath him as a cock sleeve, gag her, and just walk around a bit for the day doing royal duties and stuff? The man already has a equine skirt he wears, so he can easily hide everything underneath… (Also I’d happily give this man a dozen babies because I am a simp for him 💕) —anonymous

i think i touched upon that at one point! i wanna say he did that during a large meeting, maybe with his darling magically gagged? lemme see if i can find that post…

found it! its super brief but still

well, now i wanna write that…that's one more to my long to-do list, aha.

also you're valid

I am a simple man all I desire is your happiness. Tis all. I noticed you were feeling sad lately and I thought man next time I have extra money I'll kofi MO but recently I acquired a small fortune and I was happy to find a way to repay you for the time my friends and I giggle and go horny over your works Re-Reading your works is payment enough ….but if you wish to repay me I wouldn't mind maybe a dilf monster vampire (kinda like what you did for wolf pack? but Victorian times) or sequel to snake movie star or sequel/prequel dragon But I would rather you do what you are passionate about! Share your creations with the world! Rejoice in your delights! —anonymous

hi i love you and i swear i answered this before

i did the snek boi just for you <3 i hope you (and your friends!!) enjoyed it! he's a difficult boi to get through but i had fun writing him and his weird camera hobby

link: SMILE FOR THE CAMERA

Also increase your kofi goal —anonymous

im…okay. i didn't really have a goal target in mind so i hope thats sufficient??? sdfkdfj

Which of the beast folk are most likely to mate with humans? Like what about big cat beastfolk? —anonymous

it'd be fangedfolk, since they're canine (dogs) and are most attracted to the humans'…hm , simplicity and openness, i suppose you could say? and possibly treefolk (primates). i based my beastfolks' basic common grounds with irl animals, as canines are pack animals and dogs are more emotionally connected to us. as for primates, humans have evolutionary connections, similar social intelligence, and the shared abilities to solve problems and such.

that said, while fangedfolk are the most likely to have a human "companion", they are also most likely to have a poly pack with their human. whiskeredfolk (feline) are probably in the top-middle of that list, if we were to have a most-to-least likely ranking, with toothedfolk (rodents) due to their prey/nervous natures and seafolks (aquatic) on how dangerous/rare they are to communicate with, at the very bottom. the reason why i feel the whiskeredfolk being in the top-middle is that they can be fairly arrogant and being independent, but adores the complete attention their human can give them and how easily they are to manipulate.

that said, this is extremely generalized list, since the list is not really factoring in specific sub-groups under these categories, such as lions being social animals and are more likely to acquire a human lover, cheetahs more likely to need a service human pet to help with their anxieties, maned wolf being solitary type, etc. and other facets, like countries/areas, cultures, when/which eras, political affiliations, etc.

hope this answers your question, love!

Hello, I've been binging your Masterlist and I just want to say your OCS are exquisite —anonymous

i think you're exquisite as well, love! <3 thank you~

Are you eventually going to do more father fox content?? He's my favorite and I love him so much ♥️ —anonymous

ye! i have couple requests for more hcs for him~though they're all kinda pretty broad. if you have anything more specific for a hc request, hmu! i'd love to write a full piece of him someday too, since i think his quietly manipulative personality is fascinating to work with.

Daddy Bull and Duke content soon? I NEED these two fine beasts in my life!!! And can’t wait till the cute baby arrives!!! And hopefully many more…😋🥰 —anonymous

send in a request then~! preferably something a bit less broad, aha, but yes!

i especially would love to write a full story of those two someday, maybe as a book?

Hi hey sorry to bother you, hypothetically if I wanted to make an ai bot of one of your beastfolks, would that be alright? If not I totally understand, I just want to make sure! —anonymous

as long as there are proper credits included, go for it! just please be sure to link back to me if you do make one &lt;3

whewwww, i...really hope i didn't miss anyone. most of them were (or looked like) a request of some kind and two i wanted to put into their own posts for me to answer soon.

hope yall are doing wonderfully and are having at least a decent holiday season!! ima try and get something nice out by christmas so heres hoping!! just...gonna decide on which i wanna do...lol.

#ghosts are curious.👻 #☠️not writing... #anonymous #asked #answered #☠️monster is whispering... #beastfolks #beastfolk

[the-arcade-doctor]

SUIT ACTIVATE, TAKE OVER ME THE RISE OF A KING IN A HUE OF GREEN THE FEARED REAPER THAT TAKES OVER SCREENS AND LEAVES EVERY GAME LIKE A HORROR SCENE I'M AN OVERLORD, I EARNED THIS CROWN UPON YOU PLAGUE-RIDDEN FOOLS I'M LOOKING DOWN AND MY FIRST DECREE AS A CODE BORN DEITY? BOW TO YOUR KNEES AND FUCKING FEAR ME SPOILER ALERT: YOU'RE IN MY WORLD, SO RULE 1, DON'T BE A HERO CUZ' I'M COMIN' ATCHA LIKE THE FEAR OF [[01001010]] THROUGH BEEPS AND CLICKS DON'T FUCK WITH MY CLIQUE BOUTA TURN THESE GREY PESTS INTO [[GAME OVER]]'S QUICK I'M A GOD, BITCH YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS REMEMBER, JOTAPHOBIA A L W A Y S WINS Out of my way, boys, you don't got this Can't step to me, I'm a boss, bitch when I say "kneel", everybody says "how quick?" Jotette's on this track with the WRATH OF A GODDESS (RAH!) Dominatrix trapped in this matrix these tits are the reason I'm the one who's most played with Can't say that they've really done much they can all look, but they can't touch~ (HAIL QUEEN JOTETTE!) How adorable, look at them all bow (HAIL QUEEN JOTETTE!) Sorry hun, but I'm your goddess now (HAIL QUEEN JOTETTE!) JOTA may be a god but I make 'em kowtow (HAIL QUEEN JOTETTE!) That's how you end a verse, game over, POW!

#lyrics #cade crew

[breadsoup00]

Bsd incorrect quotes but it’s all vines

(cutting it so u don’t have to suffer)

~~~~ Yosano, jumping out from behind a shelf: RAH

Ranpo: Ahh! I could of drop my crosssint :(

~~~~

Dazai to mori: what the FUCK is up mori? NO, what did you say?! What did you say, dude?! Step the FUCK up Mori!

~~~~

Dazai: - And they were roomates!

Atsushi: Oh my god.. they were roomates..

~~~~ Poe: Is there anything better than pussy? YES! A really good book.

~~~~

Atsushi: Do you ever like, wake up? Or like, do something and you’re just like what the he- fuck is going on?

~~~~

Mori: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Elise: *sighs*

~~~~

Dazai: We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed!

Atsushi:

Dazai: Watchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do?

~~~~

Dazai: When there’s too much drama at the port mafia?

Dazai: All you gotta do is, walk away-ay-ayyy

Dazai: *blows up chuuyas car*

~~~~

Chuuya: I thought you were bae.. turns out you’re just fam..

Dazai: Bruh-

Chuuya: 😔🤘

~~~~

Nathaniel: I want a church girl..who go to church.. and read her bIIblEeEEE

~~~~

Ranpo: I do love working here, it’s just a lot of laughs!

Ranpo: Fuck off bitch, I’m not going to your fucking baby shower!

~~~~

Chuuya: You know that feeling when you look at a photo you took with your friends and you’re like “eh, I don’t look that great in this”

Chuuya: Yeah? What’s that like?

*cuts to a slowmo of Chuuya flipping around with music in the background*

~~~~

Yosano: Hey, I’m lesbian

Ranpo: I thought you were Japanese..

~~~~

Chuuya: Did you wash the dishes?

Dazai: I thought..you wanted to do it.

Chuuya: Haha, YOU WERE WRONG.

~~~~

Teen Dazai: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME?!

Mori: THATS MY OPINION!!

Teen Dazai:

Kouyou, the family counselor:

~~~~

Ranpo: I love you bitch

Poe: Oh my God

Ranpo: I ain’t never gonna stop loving you, bitch

~~~~

Mori: So uh, basically what I was thinking was-

*Dazai leaves the mafia*

Mori: Ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this.

~~~~

Nikolai: So you just don’t bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?

Dazai: …Happy birthday?

Nikolai: *slams a wine glass on his head*

~~~~

Ranpo: WHAT ARE THOSEEEE

Fukuzawa: They are my crocs

~~~~

Teen Dazai: *shoots off a gun*

Yumeno: *falls over*

Yumeno: THIS IS WHY MORI DOESNT FUCKING LOVE YOU!

~~~~

Sigma: I’ve brought you frankensince

Fyodor: Oh..thank you

Dazai: And I’ve brought you mur..

Dazai: MUR-DER!

Fyodor: Dazai! no!

~~~~

Teen Chuuya, trying to catch a dog:

Teen Dazai: *sneezes*

Dog: *runs away*

Teen Chuuya: Nice, Dazai!

Teen Dazai: I sneezed! What, am I not allowed to sneeze?

~~~~

Ranpo: Ooh, this is my jam!

Ranpo: This is my- turn that song off, this is my jam!

Ranpo: *kisses the jar*

~~~~

#Bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #yosano #yosano akiko #ranpo #ranpo edogawa #dazai #dazai osamu #mori #mori ougai #atsushi #atsushi nakajima #elise #elise bsd #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #teen dazai #teen chuuya #Nathaniel #nathaniel hawthorne #soukoku #kouyou #ozaki kouyou #poe #edgar allan poe #ranpoe #nikolai #nikolai gogol

[metamorphosisff]

|Chapter 12| There Is Rain

(Gif credit: @xo-tough-love-xo )

Sweat poured down my face as I finally finished my set of Bulgarian squats. Dropping the seventy pound dumbbells in each hand, I stood up and wiped my face with the bottom of my shirt. As I went to grab my water bottle, I caught Aiden’s stare.

“What bro? I did fifteen,” I said.

Waving me off, he said, “Question.”

The look on his face let me know that I would soon regret giving him the go ahead for his foolishness but I motioned for him to continue as I took a few sips of water.

“Been around any vampires lately?” he cracks, causing me to almost spit my water out.

“Bro, what is your problem?” I chuckle.

“Nothing, I’m just saying. Looking like you willingly offered yourself up. Whore,” Aiden said.

I couldn’t help the snort that escaped as we both busted out into laughter. I wasn’t someone who kissed and told but as I was rushing to get here on time, I didn’t realize there was evidence left behind. If I did, I would have worn a different shirt.

“Something like that,” I say. In a flash I see Mila on my bed spread before me, eyes wanton, chest flushed a vibrant hue of red.

There.

Here?

Yesss.

My reverie is interrupted by Aiden hitting me in the face with a balled up towel.

“Unnecessary,” I said, tossing it back, though he side steps being hit by it.

“Necessary as hell. You ain’t about to be reliving your lil sexcapade in front of me. We close but never will be that close,” Aiden said with a laugh, as he went over to pick up the weights for his turn. “Who is she.”

It no longer felt right to call Mila just my friend but it was hard to describe what we were becoming. If it were Rah asking me this question, I might have a better answer but since it was Aiden, I kept it simple. “Someone I care about,” I reply.

“One you don’t care about people, you be in love. Two, good, tired of you being sad and mopey. Three, you are a shit wingman so you better make her your girlfriend. You ain’t for the streets for real,” Aiden jokes, as he does his set without nearly the amount of struggle I did. 

“Man it’s not my fault you don’t have no game and you're right about that, I’m not for the streets. I want more than falling in and out of beds,” I said, with a shrug.

“Like I said, you be in love and ain’t nothing wrong with that. So what’s her name?” he asked.

“It’s Jamila and it’s too soon for the love word, so chill,” I replied. The last time I thought I was in love that turned out not to be the case.

“Look at you blushing and shit. Lying ass,” he chuckled, dropping the weights.

“Respect that I don’t want to give your nosey ass any details right now. Just know that she’s different,” I said.

“She better be. The last thing you need is another Mariah,” he said.

“Nah, I learned that lesson, trust me,” I said with a shake of my head. Being with Mila was like breathing with the full capacity of my lungs. I didn’t have to hesitate to be myself because everything I said mattered to her. It was a freedom that had been sorely missing from my life until now.

“Only took the rest of your twenties and eight months of walking around looking like an extra for a Jagged Edge video,” he said, causing me to snort.

“Dawg, I can’t fucking stand you sometimes,” I said, as laughter consumed us both.

This was the closest of a heart to heart we would have because Aiden didn’t do feelings. All he cared about was whether or not we were happy and how he could show up when we weren’t. That alone is why no matter how bad he got on my nerves I would always call him my best friend.

With most of my free time being split between watching over Granddad and hanging out with Mila, it had been almost a week since I had been by my parents house. After the hectic nature of the previous one, I needed some space. I think we all did as Veronica opted to spend last weekend at my apartment versus at home with our parents. She was a bit out of sorts after seeing our father collapse which was understandable. We had been having to face mortality a lot recently and she wasn’t even eighteen yet. When I walked in the house, I could hear her and her friends in the backyard most likely practicing tumbling. I’d give my greetings to them later and continue to let them have their fun undisturbed. Kicking my shoes off and placing them in the cubby in the foyer, I padded my way to the living room where I heard the TV on. Sitting in an armchair, looking like the spitting image of Granddad, was Pops.

“Hey Xay,” he greeted, as I walked over to him to slap hands. Like his father, he wasn’t overly affectionate to anyone other than my mother and sister. When I was ten, I came up with a handshake which became our thing. “Glad you stopped by. Your mother has me cooped up in here.”

“She’s just trying to look out for you. Doctor said you’ll be able to do light exercises next week though,” I said, as I took a seat on the couch.

“She’s feeding me rabbit food,” he deadpanned, causing me to chuckle at the exaggeration.”I might not make it that long.”

“Pops,” I said, shaking my head. “Too soon for death jokes.”

“Sorry but it’s how I feel. You know I don’t like being idle,” he said.

“You're not being idle, you’re recovering from a traumatic health event. I think that warrants some down time,” I said, for what had to be the twentieth time. There was something about getting older that made the adults in my life turn mulish in nature. They were less inclined to listen to reason and only wanted to do what they wanted while not taking account of the better options.

He nodded his head while picking up the remote. “You trying to watch this Yankee’s game with me?”

“Sure.”

I leaned back against the couch as he turned to the YES channel. While we watched the game, mom flittered back and forth, making sure Pops was taking his medication on schedule and bringing snacks. I was haphazardly picking pistachios out of my napkin of trail mix when Pops called my name.

“Yes sir,” I replied, looking over at him.

“We just struck out Boston’s best hitter and you didn’t have anything to say. What’s on your mind son?” Pops asked.

He was right. I couldn’t recall anything from this game because I had been trapped in my mind trying to figure out how I wanted to broach the subject of our relationship. However, like there would never be a perfect time, there weren’t going to be perfect words either.

“Honestly, I’m vacillating between being concerned about your well being and pissed about your lack of respect for me,” I said, sitting the napkin down on the coffee table.

“Well since your concern has been duly noted, let’s address the latter. What makes you think I don’t respect you?” Pops asked, as he sat up a bit straighter. A sign that he was actively listening to what I had to say.

Scrunching my face I said, “You did when you insinuated that I wanted to shirk my responsibilities to Granddad and tied that assumption to my character as a man.”

“Xay, I know dealing with Granddad isn’t easy but we are his family, and looking after another is what we do. A man looks after his family, come hell or high water, not passes those responsibilities over. I know you don’t have a family of your own yet but you would want your kids to do the same for you. Hell I want you to do the same for me if it ever comes to it and I’m not sure you will,” Pops said.

“What?” I said, with a raised brow. “How can you even say that shit to me with a straight face? I go above and beyond for this family.”

“Doing what is expected of you isn’t going above and beyond. It’s your duty,” Pops said.

“That’s semantics. Either way I show up, which is more than you can say.  I have a question for you, what’s the name of Granddad’s primary doctor? His neurologist? His physical therapist? Huh?” I asked.

“I don’t see-

“Yeah you don’t!” I said cutting him off. “You don’t see shit. You barely see how not easy it is dealing with your father, the man you supposed to take care of as the oldest of his children! So what kind of man that make you?”

Pop's face darkens with anger as he points a finger in my direction. “And who’s paying for those special doctors? Those medications? Not the V.A., I’ll tell you that. Who is paying the taxes on the house? The car? That’s the kind of man that makes me. I’m doing my part, I’m asking you to continue to do yours.”

“It’s easy to do your part when all it consists of is writing a check. You not getting cursed at and beat on when he can’t remember where he is in the middle of the night. You not getting called every name but your own. You not seeing the bruises on GiGi that he leaves when me, Chase or Ryan are not there,” I said, standing up, my anger roiling too much to remain seated. The feeling made me antsy so I slowly began pacing on the side of the coffee table.

“What?” Pops recoiled, sinking back against the chair. “What bruises? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that you letting your mother, children, nieces, and nephews get beat on by a person who doesn’t even exist anymore. We take it because we love him too but it’s not right. None of us are trained medical professionals! We all work, we all tired, we all got shit going on but none of that is considered because of your idealization of what a man is supposed to be? Let me clue you in, a man should know how to make the correct decisions for his family. Not put them through hell because of their pride,” I spat out.

The more I thought about his inconsideration the more vexed I became. All of the frustration I had previously swallowed was churning in the base of my throat. The acid was on the tip of my tongue but I was trying my best not to blow up. Trying my best not to slip back into the angry child he knew me to be growing up because then he really wouldn’t listen to me. He would accuse me of being emotional and dismiss everything I said in one fell swoop.

“You think my reasoning is about pride?” Pops said, standing to his feet as well. “Let me tell you something boy, everything I do is because it was what I was told to do. When your grandfather first started losing his memory, he knew it was only a matter of time. He made me swear to keep the house and him in it! He trusted me to do right by him and that’s what I’m going to do. He wanted to be at home with his family until the end so that is where he will be.”

“That was before he knew his disease would make him violent,” I said, taking a deep breath. “That changes things.”

“It does, I’ll look into getting an overnight nurse at the house. I didn’t know he was hitting GiGi,” Pops said, putting his hands on his hips. 

“But you knew he was hitting us. Why wasn’t that enough for you to make this decision when this behavior first started?” I asked, squinting my eyes in confusion. 

“By the time I was your age, I had been hit more times than I can count. What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger,” Pops said, waving my question away. He stood with his shoulders squared, no regret written anywhere in his countenance. 

“So because you suffered, I should? That’s your logic,” I chuckled darkly. “The crazy part is you don’t even realize how fucked up you sound.”

“I’m not going to apologize for looking after my family and trying to raise you right,” Pops said.

“I’m not asking you too, I’m asking for you to apologize for failing at it. I didn’t go to Rikers for no reason,” I said.

Indignified, he steps closer to me and I keep my eyes on him as he eliminates the space between us.  “Now, that was your own mistake. You and you alone decided to go joy riding in somebody else's car. Your mother and I gave you everything and you almost pissed it away being careless. Don’t you dare put that shit on me,” he said, pushing his finger into my chest. 

“Yeah it was my mistake but what do you think pushed me into making it? Your constant threat of signing me up for the army actually made prison more appealing. Not something you ever considered huh father of the year?” I questioned, causing his eyes to go wide at the confession before settling into a slant.

“Hey now, what’s going on in here? Why are y’all yelling in my house?” Ma asked, walking into the living room but Pops held his hand up signaling for her not to come any closer. 

“See that’s what I mean right there, you always want a loophole around hardships or something you don’t like,” Pops said, twisting my words.

“No, because I’ve been through plenty of hardships. I want a father who loves me for who I am and not what he wants me to be but fuck that,” I said, slapping my chest for emphasis.

“Your father does love you sweetheart. Come, let’s have a seat, this has gotten out of hand and we need to take a beat,” Ma says softly, inching closer to us.

“Mom is right. As my first born, I didn’t know what my heart looked like until you got here, so don’t be mistaken Xavier. I will love you every day until I leave this Earth and even after but I’m struggling to like you at this moment,” Pops said, his tone full of steel as he takes a few steps back from me, hands on his hips. 

“Alex Taylor!” Ma gasps, shaking her head, as her eyes shift wildly between us both. Words that have been ten years in the making have been purged for what seems like no reason. He still didn’t see me, maybe he never did, and maybe he never will.

Nodding my head, I grabbed my phone from the coffee table. “Likewise.” I place a kiss on my mother’s forehead and move before she can pull me into a hug. The action hurts her but I can’t be touched right now. “I’ll call you Ma. Tell V, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay long.”

With that, I stalk out of the house, the front door slamming behind me. Music still pours from the backyard and I’m grateful my sister didn’t have to bear witness to that ugliness. My legs carry me several blocks away from the house. I’m walking in hopes to calm myself down but it’s not working. This isn’t the kind of anger that burns off. It’s the kind that makes you feel as if you are breaking into a million pieces. I don’t feel like trying to collect the fragments either. Reaching into my pocket, I call the one person who can make me feel something besides this darkness. The call is connected on the first ring. She takes one look at my reddened face and spares me from having to spill my guts with one question.

“You trying to lose at UNO?”

“AYE YOU CHEATING.”

“No I’m not, we agreed to stacking,” I laughed, as Papi looked across the table at my empty hands with nothing but disbelief. In a matter of seconds I had changed the course of game night between the trio when I won my first and then second, and third round of the card games. Mila was happy for my wins because the mother and son duo had been beating her for the previous hour they had been playing.

“Take your L Papi,” Mila said.

“Vengeance will be mine,” Papi says, reaching for the cards to reshuffle but Mari stops him.

“It will be yours another day. We’re going to the movies,” Mari said.

“We are?” he asks with confusion wrinkling his brow but I knew what Mari was doing. Although I came in smiling and was cracking jokes, my energy was off. Even Papi noticed because he was being nice for once. 

“Yes we are. Say goodbye,” Mari said, standing up from the floor where she had been sitting.

Papi made quick work of wrapping his arms around Mila. She gave his curls a playful tug as he held out his fist in my direction.

“See you little man,” I said, bumping his fist with mine. 

“You coming to my game on Friday?” Papi asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I said. I know it was a big deal for him to ask me, that meant in some way he was accepting me into his orbit.

“You weren’t going to invite me?” Mila asked.

“You always come. Didn’t think I had to ask anymore,” Papi says with a shrug.

“Fair point,” Mila concedes with a smirk.

“Thanks y’all,” Mari smiled. It meant a lot to her to have Papi feel supported and having an extra person to help with that was appreciated. “Boy, bring yourself.”

“Bye y’all, have fun,” Mila said, watching as they bounded out of the apartment. 

Once the door clicks shut I waste no time, pulling Mila across the couch, and settling her into my lap. I push my face into the crook of her neck and inhale deeply, she smells of jasmine and something warmer. Something uniquely her that makes me press a kiss there. Her arms wrap tightly around my shoulders and that’s how we remain for a while. The only sound that can be heard is the show Papi insisted we watch from the tv. I listen to her heartbeat and let it lull me into some semblance of peace. Her fingers trail gingerly across the nape of my neck, moving in small circles. I let the power of her presence subdue the remnants of my frustration. Nuzzling my nose against her skin caused her to hold me tighter.

“You hungry?” she asks after some time.

“Not really,” I replied.

“When’s the last time you ate?” she asked and it apparently took me too long to come up with the answer by the indication of her sucking her teeth. “I’m going to heat you up some pizza and wings. You go wash up. I cleaned your clothes from last time you were here this morning. They are in the chair in my room.”

“Aight, thank you,” I said, retreating from my hiding spot to give her a kiss.

“Nothing to thank me for, go,” she says, kissing me once more before hopping out of my lap so that I can stand. She turns and heads to the kitchen before I can tell her how untrue that is. I shake my head and head to the bathroom knowing how she feels about compliments. One day I was going to tell her about all the ways she made my life better by just being herself. For now, I’d let her think she was slick.

After my shower, she beckons me outside to the small balcony that’s attached to the living room by way of a sliding door. There’s enough space for a chaise and a black cocktail table which our plates rest on. It’s still warm out but the breeze makes it one of the nicer summer nights. As soon as I sit, she hands me a plate. I express my gratitude with a forehead kiss that she blushes at. 

“Are we talking about it or ignoring it?” she asks softly once I’ve eaten half of my food.

“Ignoring for now,” I said, finishing off a wing and looking over at her. “It took a fifty minute Uber ride and seven games of UNO for me to reach the level of calm I’m currently on.”

“Understandable. I don’t need the details to tell you that I’m proud of you and that your braveness is something I admire,” she says, causing my heart to skip a beat.

“I dunno, I’m feeling more foolish than brave,” I said, wiping my hands on a napkin.

A part of me knew the conversation with my father would go left and I had been prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was how deep his need to regulate everything was. I walked in hoping to demand his respect and left wondering why I had wanted it in the first place. He claimed to love me but purposely let me struggle for almost two years to teach me some sort of lesson. Even when I brought up how he failed me he stood in a chamber of ego refusing to let it be chinked with the truth. 

“That’s the risk of vulnerability. No matter how long it may take you, you find a way to express yourself which is the bravest thing any of us can do in the face of rejection or disappointment. I want to be fearless in that way too, I’m trying to be at least,” she said, with a nervous laugh. 

Grabbing her by the waist, I placed her in my lap for the second time this evening needing to have her closer. Her long limbs wrap around me, securing our embrace. 

“You are and it’s beautiful,” I said, kissing her cheek. She was on the cusp of finding her purpose. I considered myself blessed to be able to witness the journey. “I don’t express myself to be brave, I do it to be heard. A side effect of being a military brat I suppose but I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel good to hear you say that.”

“Either way, you do it, and that’s something,” she said, staring into my eyes warmly. Underneath the glow of the streetlight I’m bathed in her spirit. It’s a balm that lays over the rough parts of today so that I can make it into tomorrow. 

After a moment of openly gaping at one another, she pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her back, tangling my hands in her braids, and chose to get lost in her versus continuing this particular line of conversation. It may be something but that something had not been enough to get my father to hear me. So it was no longer worth lamenting over.

As if she can feel my thoughts traveling outside of this moment, she pulls away from our kiss, to flick the tip of my nose with her tongue.

“Why?” I questioned, as I began to tickle her sides. She squeals as she tries to escape but can’t due to the hold I have on her. The sound of her laughter evokes my smile.

“I regret nothing,” she laughs, as she leans in to do it again. “Now finish eating so we can go start the second Captain America movie because I need to see the full scene of them jumping Tony.”

Tilting my head back, I pinch the bridge of my nose as I groan. “Stooppp watching MCU compilations on Tik Tok.”

#metamorphasisff #slow burn romance #Black Fiction #black romance

[cinamun]

catching up might be bad for my heart, but it's good for my soul...

my heart is breaking for everyone, rah included. here's all the stuff I've been thinking, feeling, speculating on, and just wallowing in as I caught up...

rah

he cares deeply for dira

he was deeply hurt by her abandoning their friendship, and whatever simmering romantic feelings were there that were also seemingly discarded was just more salt on the wound

he knows he fucked up, but he also meant everything he said in the hotel room

he's scared of himself and what he did

he did not want to be forgiven by dira because he doesn't think he deserves to be

even though he wanted to be with her, he doesn't think she should be with him

he's only seeing the doctor because she wanted it for him, but he seemed like he would have preferred disappearing into nothing

he still isn't looking for forgiveness, but he doesn't want to be a burden to dira anymore, so he asked for what he truly knew could be certain death, to meet with darren

dira was right there and he didn't even try to speak to her, and I don't think it was because darren was there, like he knows he's at darren's mercy, but his desire not burden dira anymore and to remove even the shadow of blame from her is greater than his fear of what darren would do to him

dira

she feels betrayed by her friend

she feels betrayed by her own actions

she got called out and had to work through the difficult task of separating rah's words from his actions, of reconciling her own actions with her true feelings

she has unearned guilt about how it got to that point

she has feelings for rah, but they're all muddled because it was a dire situation that forced her to acknowledge them, and they're tainted because, for the time being, and possibly for some undetermined amount of time into the future, she may not be able to feel those feelings without also feeling the fear that preceded them

she didn't hide the truth from Indya just because she had sex or to cover for rah

she was emotionally overwhelmed with everything that happened, but the feelings were compounded by her realizing she fucked up, that she was not where she thought she was head-wise or heart-wise, that in her attempts to escape from her sister's shadow, in her desire to be seen as Indira Dior, a "woman" who has her own thoughts and is her own person and not Hope the 2nd in her parents eyes, she went about it the wrong way

she knew that telling indya would mean that she wasn't at a point where she could take full responsibility for her herself, that she was still a child, and, with or without hope as margin, she still has a ways to go

her fear about another elliot situation is 100% percent real and the way she brings it up to hope and darren is like saying even if you think I'm wrong about everything else, even if you are disappointed in me, worried for me, angry at me or the situation, at least understand, at least agree with me about that.

indya

she didn't make it about her; parents can get so wrapped up in fighting the past that they forget to see that no matter how similar the situation or how similar the personality, their child is still a person separate from them

she was hurt by the situation and it brought to mind and to heart an uncomfortable past and she did feel like she was seeing herself and she didn't want that for her daughter

she walked a fine line when talking to dira by making the connection to what was on her heart to dira, but she focused on dira's feelings and dira's mindset and dira's role in the situation

darren

he drew a line that was understandable, but also a little startling because he stood on it while his Wife was on one side and everybody else, even his child, was on the other

he acted in a way that would leave me unsurprised if he was of the mind that his love for his children is undeniable and hell hath no fury like him when he's protecting them, but children are meant to be nurtured and loved, but they will move on, and though hope might be their diamond, it's indya who is forever

jayce

he should not consort with criminals, but I think between rah and bishop, he's got people in his orbit that could help him out with some surveillance equipment so that he has back up/proof against whatever games that student might play

ATTENTION READERS™ PLEASE READ THIS!!! Excellent observations my friend!

#long post #but a damn good one #story stuff