#who has shared many things with me when i was young & had no consoles of my own.

[emdotcom]

I hated the Switch so fucking much, I gave mine away so I didn't have to have it around, anymore.

That said, very excited for the people who intend to play that new pokemon, when it comes out.

#em.txt #it's important to know first & foremost. i am a hater. #i hate that console so fucking bad. I can't stand it. the price the drift the battery the PLACEMENT OF THE WIFI CARD #the shit internet connection BECAUSE of that placement. it is not a console. it is a fucking handheld that can stream to tv. #i want to like ot so fucking much bc i like that concept but the execution is shit #& the only game i owned that i legit miss playing is PLA bc it's good. everything else can burn #for further context. the man i gave it to was my older brother #who has shared many things with me when i was young & had no consoles of my own. #i gave it to somebody because he had done the same for me & i refused to charge him when he gave me so much #I am interested to see what this new game will be like & will definitely watch lets plays #but if you think i am rebuying that pos console again you must be out of your damn mind #I'd rather keep the 300 dollars & put it towards a gaming pc so i can emulate that shit. #my interest in consoles had always been towards nintendo but i cannae stand this co. or its products rn #i hope legends continues to be a series. i hope they can do literally anything with kalos. #the switch was in its box w/ the games taking up space i wanted that shit gone bc every time i saw the box #i remember that i was a chump that forked over 300 dollars (not uncluding games) for a console #i never fucking touch bc it's more annoying than its worth

[final-script]

Royal Wedding | CS55

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x PrincessOfSpain!Reader

Sumary: The wedding between Her Majesty The Princess of Asturias Y/N Y/L/N and Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro.

Warnings: English is not my first language !!!There are probably many mistakes (I will correct them later), I looked for some information to have some information but anyway I did not follow everything as it is.

A/N: I want to add that I did the best I could and this was what came out, I am willing to do more parts if agluien asks me, maybe write about how Carlos and the princess met, etc.

Gif: artemispt

----------------------------

For as long as you can remember, you've never been so happy to follow a protocol. From a very young age you had become accustomed to following them, as you should behave, what you should wear, EVERYTHING.

But the fact that you were used to itdid not save you from saying that many times it was boring and tiring, although this time you were more than happy to follow each step.

After much planning and organization the big day had arrived… The big day when you were going to join your life to that of the man of your dreams. Something that at first seemed like it was going to be impossible. At first they believed it, a Formula 1 driver and a crown princess to the throne of their country was seen as impossible.

But taking a look at your parents' relationship, things began to be perceived in a different way and thank goodness that it was done. A couple of years after having seen each other for the first time and being sure of everything that their relationship entails, Carlos asked your father for your hand in marriage, not at all surprised King Felipe accepted, making him promise that he would respect you and take care of you a lot.

So… this is how 6 months after the proposal, Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro and Her Royal Highness the Princess of Asturias Y/N Y/L/N would join their lives in marriage.

Ican't think I can remember a time when I felt as nervous as I do now. I was about to marry the love of my life and couldn't believe it.

A set of many emotions flooded my body, I was very excited as soon as I saw my parents and sisters for the first time this morning, I realized that almost everything I had dreamed for a long time, was finally happening. (…) Q/L -(podemos entrar?) Can we enter? Y/N-(creo que ya estan adentro mami) I think you're already inside mommy. Laughing, he approached me in the company of my sisters. -(y papa?) and dad?

Q/L- has gone to say a few words to Carlos, I have to suppose to try to calm the nerves of a boyfriend. Y/N- or to make them worse. The 4 of us laughed, we knew that most of the time Dad wanted to calm things down, the opposite ended up happening.

Q/N- honey, it's time for you to start preparing, the team is here to help you with it. I sighed trying to calm my nerves a little.

T/N- is it really happening? That's how you felt when you were preparing? Q/L- I hold my hand in the form of consolation. - In the same way and maybe even worse, but believe me that everything is forgotten when you walk down the corridor and in the end you see that the man with whom you have decided to spend the rest of your life awaits you, you may be a little scared of what may come next but, with the trust and love they have shown to have everything will be much easier.

She along with my sisters who had stood aside giving us some privacy, hugged me and quickly stepped aside so the team could start working. (…) I don't know exactly how much time passed, but… By the time I realized it, everything was ready. My admiration in the mirror was interrupted by my dad's voice entering the room. Everyone came out leaving us alone.

K/F- Oh my gosh, you look awesome cariño (honey). With a few tears in his eyes. Y/N- don't look at me like that, you're going to make me cry too. We shared a moment of father and daughter, until it was time to leave. (…) It did not take so long to arrive, in fact seeing the people in the streets made the road become more transient and the passage of time was not noticed.

On the other side Carlos was just as nervous or worse than you. Ch- Mate, your lady has arrived. C- oh, god! Ch- there is no going back. C- I don't want to either. Those were the last words Carlos could utter before the doors finally opened.

Your sisters entered first with a small bouquet each, both looking very pretty. Then it was the turn of Y/N, for a moment Carlos thought that your walk was taking a long time, but everything was forgotten when the Princess arrived at his side with the brightest smile she has ever seen. K/F- It's all said, just love and respect each other a lot. C- of course majesty.

Y/N- hello. Y/N finally greetings to her future husband. C- hello, you look beautiful. I praise the driver. At that moment, the priest cleared his throat, causing both of them to turn to look at him and finally begin the ceremony. C & Y/N- "I'm sorry," they both murmured at the same time, as Carlos held YN's hand and the ceremony began.

The ceremony was somewhat short but very sweet, although later there would be a private celebration with the people closest to both. S- I declare you husband and wife, you can kiss the bride. Carlos did not hesitate to take the initiative and took a step closer to you to finally leave a short but sweet kiss on your lips.

Those present began to applaud happily, while the couple separated. Y/N- finally. Without stopping to look him in the eye. C- princess Y/N, I do not know what fate has in store for me but I hope it is the best and with you. Y/N-Principe Carlos (Prince Carlos), I also expect the same. (…) As we said in our ceremony, we did not know what fate had in store for us but we hoped that they would be good things and we could live them together.

----------------------------------

ANOTHERS

Grateful, Excited and Expectant - Lando Norris x Reader

The boss's daughter - Lewis Hamilton x Wolff!Reader

#carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz jr x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 fanfic #f1 preference #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula 1 imagine

[asha-mage]

Anaiya nodded. "We understand your reasons for disliking Elaida, even hating her. We do understand. But we must think of the Tower and the world. I confess I do not like Elaida myself. But then I have never liked Siuan either. It is not necessary to like the Amyrlin Seat. There is no need to glare so Siuan. You have had a file for a tongue since you where a novice and it has only roughened with the years. And as Amyrlin you pushed sisters where you wanted and only seldom explained why. The two do not make for a very likeable combination."

-The Fires of Heaven, Chapter 27: The Practice of Diffidence

Re-reading The Fires of Heaven has made me increasingly confident in the show's read of Siuan's character being book accurate (an opinion I originally articulated here). I always encourage re-reads of the books, but I would very much encourage re-reading The Shadow Rising and The Fires of Heaven specifically if you are doubting the choices the team made in episode 7.

Cause the thing is, Siuan's central character flaw- the one Anaiya is trying to gently cite above, the one on heavy display all throughout both books via Siuans treatment of those around her, is her complete lack of trust paired with a willingness to force and browbeats others into doing what she thinks is best.

It is, ironically, a trait she shares with Rand- both are unafraid to use their power (physical, magical, political- what have you) to make others obey, and both also are unwilling to demonstrate trust and good faith out of a fear of showing weakness. It's something born inherently of their shared insecurities about their respective positions of power- Siuan's young rise to the Seat and the fact that she is carrying on her conspiracy with Moiraine and Rand's belief that he isn't strong enough/good enough/hard enough to be the Dragon Reborn alongside the tendency of the people he cares about to get hurt or have their lives ruined by simple proximity to him.

Throughout both The Shadow Rising and The Fires of Heaven Siuan uses primarily tactics drawn form the same playbook that would later also lead Rand to disaster in the back half of the series: she comes to view those under charge more for their value to her agenda then as people she should be looking after, forcing Min to remain in the Tower against her will, refusing to make any effort to console or reassure those who care about Elayne (Gawyn, Galad, Morgase) that she is well, and engaging in many actions because their are expedient without regard for their moral implications (ordering Mazrim Taim's execution without trial, lying about Logain being set up by the Red Ajah, manipulation Logain so he has no choice but to follow along with her plan). And I don't think it's a mistake that many of those actions either lead to, or directly follow, Siuan's downfall in the Tower.

In fact, Siuan begins to make the turn in her character after encountering Mistress Tharne, which largely sets in motion Siuan's character arc for the remainder of the series: realizing that she can not force the word to conform to her will, not least of all because she is no longer the most powerful woman on the planet, but more over because it's wrong. Mistress Tharne's rough treatment of Siuan, her complete lack of respect or deference, is a wake call to Siuan that gives her empathy and understanding of the way she treated others when she held power. Much of her arc there after is about emphasizing that point, first as a stilled woman serving Aes Seadi, then as a restored but drastically weakened Aes Sedai.

In this way Siuan gets a taste of what it's like to be on the other side- forced and expected to obey, constantly fighting against a system rigged against her from the start, meant to keep her out of circles of power and away from the ability to make decisions as a woman who can not channel, and then as a Aes Sedai who does not stand high enough in the hierarchy. More over it gives her perspective on why things like the Oaths and the Tower's traditions matter- on the ways the Oaths protect ordinary people and the way Tower traditions like 'staying out of the business of other Aes Sedai' and 'respect secrets of individual sisters and Ajahs' help keep Aes Sedai working together and functional. But it's really her friendships, which she is able make on now even terms, with Nynaeve and Egwene, that help her gain empathy and understanding, and in particular allows her (via her mentorship of Egwene) to try and positively influence the Tower's future via reforms to make it more equitable, less mired and fractious and cracked.

As Amylrin, we're told, Siuan ruled by playing one faction in the Tower against another, widening the cracks between Ajahs and within them so that no one was able to effectively oppose her and her agenda- that is until someone came along who could rally support, to take advantage of those simmering frustrations and angers in order tear her down. But that person, Elaida, shared many of her faults and few of her virtues- instead of playing one faction against and brow beating, Elaida (with the Shadow's help) turned the Tower into armed camps ready to lash out at each other. Siuan's tendency (often cited by even herself) to send sisters to do penance on farms for opposing or annoying her, became Elaida using the same tool to humiliate and punish her enemies and using edicts to demote them to Accepted for being weak, and Siuan's precedent for keeping secrets and working around the Hall became Elaida plotting to kidnap Rand and 'make him supple' via Galina's embassy.

And it's a neat closing of the circle, the kind Jordan really likes to play with, that Siuan's redemption for this is her training of the woman who will replace both her and Elaida. Someone who will actually fulfill both women's ambitions of leading the Tower in the last battle- Egwene. Siuan's justice against Elaida is to help prepare an Amyrlin that will be more then either she or Elaida ever could- someone who will be free of their faults, who will be able to unite the Tower as both women dreamed of doing but never could- who can guide Rand and bind the nations to him, who can serve as a general of the Light strong enough to balance the worst of the Shadow. Siuan teaches Egwene how not to do the things she did, to fall into the traps that brought her down- the arrogance, the pride, the domineering, the compromises with her own morals- and it's that teaching which, in part, gives Egwene the ability to persuade the Tower that still saw her as a Novice....to raise her to Amyrlin of it's own accord.

Siuan still should have been allowed to kill Elaida though instead of the Suffa stuff, I will die on that hill.

#WoT #Wheel of time #WoT on Prime #Wheel of time on Prime #WoT Book Spoilers #TGS Spoilers #Siuan Sanche #Egwene al'vere #Rand al'Thor #wot meta #I'm stil baffled #months later about the reaction to Siuan's actions in episode 7 #Part of that is a 'oh everyone says they support women's wrongs until their a little mean about it' but more then that #Complex situations without easy answers causing characters to make bad choices is a STAPLE of Jordan's writing #And what Siuan does is STILL not nearly as morally grey as what Rand and Moiraine do in that same episode via recrutiing Lanfear's help #anyways everyone should go back and re-read TSR and TFOH #their great #send tumble

[fairycosmos]

I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.

i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.

are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X

#anon #ask chloe

[suleikashideaway]

All this love for ff8 flying around tumblr right now has got me thinking. 

So many people were so moved by this game that twenty-five years later we’re all banging our fists on the table and crying about it? It leaves me stunned. For so long I thought I was the only one. 

[Huge text post under the cut. As I wrote this I realized just how much soul-baring I was doing. This was emotional to write and just as emotional to share. Thank you to those of you who bravely paved the way with your personal stories so that I would feel strong enough to do the same. Sorry this got stupid-long lol]

My own journey with ff8, as it turns out, is very much tied to my journey in discovering writing. It overwhelms me to think of how my life is so much better thanks to both things. And how my life was potentially saved by both things.

Back in the early aughts I was not privileged enough to have any gaming consoles. My best friend, though, had just gotten a PS1 and the very first game she had was ff8. I would go over to her house every single Sunday afternoon and sit, transfixed, as she played through it. I had never seen anything like it before. We would read the dialogue boxes out loud (I was always Selphie, Zell, and Rinoa, she was always Squall, Irvine, and Quistis) and she was kind enough to save the important cut scenes on separate memory slots so I could see whatever she had played throughout the week. 

I remember adoring the cutesyness of Squall and Rinoa’s dynamic and crying when I saw the ending. But there was something more to it. I felt such an intense desire to have the game for myself, to play it alone and absorb everything in it. We finally got a little money and got a PS1, but my mom would only get games that the whole family could enjoy, so it was Crash and Spyro for a long time until I finally, finally got ff8 for myself. 

The intensity of Squall and Rinoa’s drama and romance was so important to my passionate little teenaged heart. He jumped out into space to save her!! And she brought him back from time compression with just her love!!! It was the story that set the bar for romantic love. 

And Squall…damn, I remember sitting, unblinking, at the scene when he’s curled up in bed…At age sixteen, seventeen, watching Squall voice these things was big:

“I’m fine all by myself now. I have all the skills I need to survive. I’m not a child anymore. That’s a lie. I don’t know anything. I’m confused.”

At the time, I didn’t know why I was so spellbound by that scene, and many of the other scenes of Squall’s inner monologues, but it makes so much sense now. I was a child made to believe I had to be fully competent and capable from way too young an age, parentified and emotionally stunted, and I was about to be kicked out into the world when I didn’t know a single fucking thing about it. 

But my love for ff8 was very private. I read some fanfic to extend that feeling of being in Squall and Rinoa’s world, but other than that, I never outwardly expressed how much this game stuck with me. I was definitely an awkward, shy kid, and luckily I found a group of weirdos in high school who had no fear in sharing their love for things like video games and anime and what-have-you. But still! Even with that! I barely engaged with the few friends who had a love for ff8. It was all very intimate for me. It was my private world. And part of me was scared of taking it too far, even amongst the nerds who took everything too far. I didn’t want to stand out in that way. I had the overwhelming urge to appear normal, and sane. And anyway I didn’t know how to articulate it.

There is a scene from my college years that is so burned in my memory and I think highlights this. I was in a very small major and so I had all the same classes with the same small group of people. In these classes was a very cool girl who I admired. One day someone brought up video games and I remember feeling paralyzed, like, “I can’t bring up my weirdly intense passion for this game! Everyone will think I’m so strange!” so I lied and said I had never played a single video game in my life. And in comes Cool Girl and starts going on and on about how much she loved final fantasy 8 and I could not fathom it. I stayed silent. I was not cool enough to go back on my lie and admit that I was just as into that game, if not more into it, and that I still thought about it regularly.

I kept my love of the game to myself, and played it once or twice when I went home on college breaks. It was enough. I was busy, and burnt out, and turns out, severely depressed on top of it all. 

That first major depressive episode lasted years. I managed to get out of it on my own through a variety of life experiences and found myself in my mid-twenties, looking for love. And what was more, I knew I had to find my Squall. I had to find someone who would constantly be willing to save me from my own flightiness, from my overly-passionate heart that didn’t think things through and constantly caused my own messes, and tell me (with brutal honesty) when to knock my shit off.

And I found him!

What I didn’t know is that I was really Rinoa all along. And Rinoa, my friends, cinnamon roll that she is, has a lot of shit to work out, too. 

It was helpful as I started spiraling into depression again: what if Rinoa and Squall were together and happy, but Rinoa had a major emotional breakdown in her late twenties? I imagined it obsessively. Thinking of their future was the only way I could fall asleep at night. (lol, any of this sound familiar, @angelosearch? <3)

Their story took such a hold on me. I could feel it wanting to scream itself out of my fingertips to the point that I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I started secretly typing it up, and every time I sat at the keys, I felt better.

And I stopped disassociating. I started sleeping better. I stopped hiding in the bathroom to cry at all hours of the day. I stopped thinking that I didn’t deserve to be here. I stopped therapy. 

I felt like I had been given a second chance at life. 

About a year ago, I was finally ready to consider posting my ff8 fanfic to share with the world. I had been writing it for over a year, and brewing it in my head for (get this) about eight years before that.

I could tell, though, that I was not a Good Writer. So I put on my bravest face and went searching for a beta. I immediately found one, my amazing @failed221b-chill, who I’ve gushed about before. And my world blossomed. I discovered the true joy that writing brings me, and even just writing this essay is way better than any therapy session I’ve ever had. 

I’m finally coming into my own. I’m finally realizing I had no reason to hide my passionate self. I have to share my inner world - it’s what makes me who I am, and only in that way can I truly connect with those around me. In fact, I literally went and bought an ff8 tank top and wore it in public yesterday and felt like a fucking superhero for doing so. 

So. All that said. I’m so incredibly grateful to be here in this moment, sharing all this love for a game that clearly has affected so many lives for the better. Happy anniversary, Final Fantasy VIII! And to anyone who read this far, I love you.

#ff8 #squall #rinoa #writing #ffviii anniversary #personal essay #my writing

[wimble-warcrime]

Call Me Alpha - part one

Synopsis: Ever since you were little, you rejected anything omega related. So imagine what it feels like to have your worst fears come true. Step one to your two step plan to a happy life is in cinders, and the next best thing is suppressants and enough cologne to let everyone in a 5 mile radius know you're the most obnoxious alpha to ever walk the earth. Still, some good things can come of this, right...?

Pairing: Alpha!Bukugou Katsuki x Omega! NB Reader

Warnings: readers has a deep set hatred for their second gender; lots of angst; descriptions of gender dysphoria; deku is widely disliked; reader is actually capable of making decisions(no weak omegas in the Christian household); suppressant sickness; descriptions of death.

Author Notes: this is not the first fanfic I've written, but it won't be the last. Here's hoping I can actually finish it this time! Let me know what you think, and if you want to beta the rest of the chapters!

Hc's | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Ever since you were little, you'd rejected any kind of activity, behavior and style related to being an omega.

In preschool and kindergarten, you'd worn shorts and overalls, insisted that your hair was short, gone mock hunting with the other 'alpha' kids in your class. You'd play with Legos, and lament of how you would build cool inventions for heroes one day.You refused to wear dresses, play with dolls, play house or grow your hair long.

Your father was fine with this, he, like most parents, knew that the way a child acted before their turning was indicative of their second gender after turning. He'd expected you'd be a strong and dependable alpha, just like your teacher at the time.

Everyone who met you as a young child expected you to be an alpha, after all, you were the most aggressive of your age group. All the 'omegas' insisted you be their alpha, some even going as far as to try and court you. You rejected them. Refusing to associate with anything omega related.

As the years went by, more and more people, including yourself, expected you to present as an alpha, and when the end of middle school rolled around, people were surprised you hadn't presented yet, most of you classmates having turned already, save a few. Notably the obnoxious and stutteringly shy Midoriya Izuku. You insisted you were a late bloomer, and they believed you.

Then on the last day of school for the year, everyone was surprised that you started to smell like an omega. You dismissed these inquiries, stating that your beta father had recently gotten a new omega boyfriend, and you'd finally let him scent you last night. Only for, at the last hour of class, your tuning began; at first it was a wave of heat, like some had opened a hot oven into you face; then it was cold sweats, you were shivering almost imperceptibly but sweating so much you'd been sent off to the nurses office.

There, your worst fear had been realised: your symptoms aligned with an omegan heat. If you were an alpha, you would have lashed out at any one even looking at you weird, and then started growling at any alphas when they got to close. At least, that was the case for the school bully, who  happened to share a row with you, Bakugou Katsuki. He'd snapped and snarled so much, that the teacher had to call his parents and restrain him until they arrived to pick him up.

The nurse consoled you as your heat progressed to the final stage. The first heat an omega experiences is usually an hour to two long, and is relatively tame compared to the second heat, which comes at the age of 16. The nurse complimented you on your sweet new smell, stating that you smelled of elderberry and morning glory. "A tamer, more subtle omegan smell than most," but still distinct in it sweetness.

She go on to list all of the benefits of being an omega; you would find a nice alpha,  maybe a beta even, and go one to have many pups after you'd mated and bonded with them. If your alpha allowed it you could continue working after pups or even after being mated.

Of course, all of these things had been explained to you; but you considered them to be negatives. Why would you want to settle for being a weak, submissive, simple minded omega  when you could be an engineer. Your dream job was to design and build support gear for heroes; and since your quirk was one that aligned with the necessary skills needed for said job, who were you to pet some big alpha take it all away from you?

No, the second your father came rushing into the school infirmary, you'd thrown yourself into his chest, and cried. He'd be shocked to scent you and find the smell of an omega mixed in with your scent. He pulled you to his chest, and carried you out to his car. Once secured in the passenger seat, you lamented to him your fears of omenganhood and how it was the worst thing that could ever have happened to you.

He was shocked to hear such things, never once had you bad mouthed omeganhood, but he knew you preferred more alphan mannerisms. When asked as to why you saw your newly acquired second gender, seeing as your biological mother was omegan, your response horrified him;

"She died, remember?" Between sniffles and stray tears, you continued; "You said she was weak, too weak to survive. It's because she was an omega. She was weak and stupid and she died. If she was an alpha or a beta, she would have survived." You, clearly, didn't see anything wrong with your response, and while you weren't wrong, it was abhorrent that you would equate omegas as weak and simple minded.

He stayed silent on this drive home, contemplating what to say to your feelings of omeganhood. By the time he'd unlocked the house, you stopped crying, and beelined to your room, school bag left forgotten at the door.

He heard you crying up in you room, and he felt sick as he played over the confession you'd attested to. He made dinner, well, really he heated up leftover curry that the neighbour's young boy had given him; spicy chicken katsu. He and his father had made too much, but he had a feeling that really, he fancied you. And based off of the sticky note that you discarded in the trash, you didn't quite feel the same. He watched you that day, peel off the sticky note, and with out bothering to read it, tossed it in the rubbish bin and dug into the curry.

He was grateful at least one person in the house liked spicy food, because an was it hot. He served himself a fried egg and rice, cut up a plate of fruit and headed off to you room with the plate and bowl in his hands.

He set the food on the floor outside and knocked, letting you know that your dinner was on the other side. He knew there was no point in trying to persuade you to join him for dinner; you'd always stay in your room to draw up blue prints for new gear designs. So he wandered back down the stairs, huddled up on the couch and watch the latest k-drama while he ate his food.

Back upstairs, you'd gingerly opened your door to find a steaming bowl of spicy chicken curry and rice, along with a plate of sliced mangoes and strawberries; your favorite fruit. You pulled the plates up off the floor and kicked the closed as you wandered over to you desk.

A sudden urge to draw up some quirk enhancing equipment for an alpha in your class had seized you and despite your hatred for your neediness to please said alpha, your dominant human brain could agree that the designs were very good.  As you scribbled into night, you munched on your dinner, thanking whoever made your dinner that it was so spicy; you needed something to distract from the immense amount of emotional heartache you were experiencing. Soon it was eight p.m, and you could feel your eyes growing tired. Eight turned into nine, and nine to ten. By midnight, you were slumped over your desk, empty bowl and plate discarded on the table adjacent.

You father crept into your room after not getting a response to knocking. There he saw you asleep at you desk, clearly worn out from such an eventful day. He placed a throw over you shoulders flicked off the desk lamp, grabbed the dirtied dishes and headed down to wash them.

He contemplated on how he could cure your hatred for you second gender. You were old enough now to go on suppressants, especially now that you'd presented, but the amount of horrific side effects that omegas suffered from due to extended use was deplorable; that was also why your mother had died. A weakened immune system mixed with one too many cold winters, and she died to a cold. He was also one of the scientists who had disagreed with the patenting of the drug, due to its deplorable side effects.

He figured that putting you on  suppressants for now, while he figured out a way to further develop them wouldn't hurt you too much. They would help to prolong your omegan development. Maybe if a doctor signed off on it, you may be eligible for secondary gender change. But the procedure was risky, and rarely ever a doctor signed off.

He had hope that he would be able to further develop the suppressants to be more masking of your omegan nature than to erase it completely. Find a way to change your scent somehow as well. He'd have to talk to you later about it, but seeing as you were on summer break, he'd have plenty of time to discuss at length the future of your secondary gender.

For now he laid in bed restless, eager yet hesitant to go forward with his idea

All Rights Reserved

#bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha abo #abo #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo katuski #x reader #katsuki bakugo angst #angst #alpha bakugou #omega reader #mha abo #abo angst #abo au #omegaverse #bnha omegaverse

[box-dwelling]

So l want to go full conspiracy theory about Phoenix's parents so I can figure out my own head canon for it. So indulge me

Disclaimer: this is deeply unhinged over analysis to come at what will only ever be a head canon. I'm not taking away other people's head canons or saying they're wrong. This is all fun. I just started thinking about this a lot and need to write it down

So there are really 3 main categories I want to sort between and then when I've narrowed it down to that I will extrapolate further into.

Theory 1: Phoenix's parents are fine and just chilling off screen.

This is the occums razor approach. We never hear about them so why should we assume they aren't just normal parents? My issues with this are as follows.

Phoenix has a massive tendency to form a found family at the drop of a hat. It is constant. Every single wayward kid he comes across he just fucking adopts and it barely even crosses his mind as a thing he is doing. He just sees a child in need and brings them right into the fold. I'm not saying this isn't a thing people with a functional family unit do, but it normally takes a little more thought than he ever seems to give it. His default seems to be thinking kids in need don't have a safe family to go to. The only time he ever strays from this is with Trucy, who he is both unsure he will be able to effectively care for after being disbarred, and is the only part of the found family he adopts legally. It makes sense to me he'd jump through those hoops when he didn't for someone like say Ema.

My other issue is his attachment issues. He bonds very close connections very quickly to people and I'm not even talking about his defendants. I think it's honestly best shown with his romantic connections.

There's not too much we can really decern from Feenie and Dahlia/Iris because we never really see how Iris was acting during that relationship but the guy is definitely very deeply attached to her. It could easily also just be a bad case of first relationship and young love but it could also be something deeper.

More interesting is Miles. He imprinted on that man like a baby duck. And let's be completely honest here even if he was madly in love, becoming a lawyer for your crush you haven't seen in a decade is absolutely unhinged. Again it is possible for him to do this with a happy family background but I also just don't see it. It seems like the kind of thing a kid without a family would do to the only person who ever stood in his corner. I don't think he act in such an extreme manner if he had a happy home life.

Theory 2: dead parents

So this is compelling and I like it. But my issue here is that he is surrounded by people with dead parents. Many of whom he's had to comfort through said loss or through events retraumating it. As someone who has a dead parent, when you are in that situation if you have personal experience to draw on, you fucking draw on it. You mention that you understand how they feel because you lost a parent too. Losing a parent at a young age is incredibly isolating and when you find someone who shares that experience you tell them because it's a thing only other people with dead parents can ever really understand. I think it would have come up given how many orphans he talks to.

Theory 3: absentee parents.

Spoilers this is my personal take. It explains his attachment issues, his tendency to automatic found family, and the fact he doesn't mention them when consoling orphans. I will devil's advocate and poke a hole though because it's only right.

He does also interact with a few foster kids and adoptees. But I do think this makes more sense than the alternatives. The three that come to mind being Apollo, Miles and Trucy. Trucy makes sense. They absolutely could have had that conversation off screen. Miles' being taken in by Von Karma feels atypical enough that I feel like Phoenix might not bring up his own issues when discussing it given the severity of Miles' trauma. Also if he was a kid that's as just in the system all his life I imagine it wouldn't feel similar to Miles ' situation. Apollo is more complicated but their relationship is such that I think Phoenix just not bring it up in a work environment makes sense. It's also not like he's a kid just enteringnthe system, he's someone else that grew up in it and is now out so Phoenix probably doesn't have much advice or support to offer. They're more in the same boat.

But absentee parents is pretty vague. And I think there's some stuff we can narrow down.

So evidence:

1) Phoenix is stated to be an only child in 2-2. So he is probably to an extent familiar with who his parents are. That's not really the language you use about yourself if you were abandoned as a baby. It also suggests he wasn't in permanent fostering where he'd likely not be as dismissive of having a sibling.

2) the only reference to his mother I can see being made. I will warn you. I am going to examine the fuck out of this.

So as far as I can tell this is the passing reference to Phoenix's mother that is listed on the wiki and in some fandom spaces. There's a lot to unpack her.

First off, this is a turn of phrase from oldbag. It's not an actual reference to the woman existing. However that is not what I find interesting here. It's Edgeworth's reaction. So at this point Miles is fully aware of Phoenix being the same person from his childhood. I've seen some fan places doubt he realises that but this line is from the end of the case and confirms it

But after Oldbag says that, he's audibly unsure and uncomfortable. A part of that is most certainly to do with the case and I'm pretty sure that's as the intent but this is canon dialogue so I get to put on my death of the author cap and interpret wildly beyond what it is intended to mean.

To me at least, it also reads as the kind of discomfort you see when someone refers to a person's parent in a way that is untrue due to unpleasant circumstances. And this is from literally one of the only 3 people we know for certain have some awareness of Phoenix's home life. It sounds like he's made uncomfortable about a reference to Phoenix's mother, then tries to shake it off and direct away from it by talking about the case. This gives us a key bit of information though. Miles knew so whatever happened had to have happened before they were 9.

So my final head canon. Phoenix was to somee extent abandoned by his mother before 9 years old and likely when he was already old enough to have some familiarity with his family. I also think it's likely he wasn't in some kind of permanent foster residence where he might start considering someone being a foster sibling. This could be residential care facility or honestly more likely to me at least being taken in by either his father or other family members but ones who weren't particularly invested in his care.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#phoenix wright #phoenix wright parents #ace attorney #ace attorney headcanon #tw parental death

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Ruined Hallelujah

Pairing(s): Margaery Tyrell x Baratheon!Reader, Renly Baratheon x Loras Tyrell

Warnings: platonic affair, arranged marriage, femalexfemale, malexmale

Words: 2374

Summary: You had expected such a move from Robert, maybe even Stannis, but never from your brother Renly. He was well aware of your affair with Margaery, even supported it. Yet he had married you off to Robb Stark, King in the North.

The four of you had come to an agreement of sorts. An odd type of arrangement if anyone else were to find out, but you were happy with it. You were in love with the beautiful Margaery Tyrell of Highgarden ever since you met her months ago. It was hard not to love someone like her. She was enigmatic and vibrant and oh so lovely. And somehow she returned all of your affections genuinely. The first time the two of you shared a secret kiss you knew your heart was a goner to the fair maiden.

Then everything changed when you found out that she was to wed your older brother Renly.

Of course your brother knew of your love for Margaery and tried to console you. Tried telling you that it was a marriage of pure convenience. He loved you dearly, his one and only little sister, and the last thing he wanted to do was take part in your heartbreak. It was then that he broke down and told you of his own affair with Loras, Margaery’s brother. The two of you had shared a laugh about the whole situation. Renly vowed that he would make things work between the four of you. There was no reason for anyone to suffer.

That’s how it came about that the four of you discussed with one another how this would work.

Indeed there was no need for anyone to suffer. There was enough suffering on the battlefield.

The War of the Four Kings was raging on in all corners of Westeros. You and Margaery worried constantly about your brothers when they left for battle. That’s when more than ever you found comfort in her arms.

Even worse was the fact that one of the other supposed kings was your now eldest brother Stannis. It had been a difficult choice to make when Stannis demanded that you choose a side to base your loyalty. How could you though when you loved both of your brothers. In the end you chose Renly. Thinking about it you knew that between the two, Renly would be a far better king than Stannis. It had been Renly after all who took care of you most of your young life. While you did stay at Dragonstone for some time with Stannis and his court you didn’t find any joy in such a dreary place. It seemed that you always chose Renly.

On the night of Margaery and Renly’s wedding, it was you who slept with Margaery in their supposed marital bed; naked and sated.

Her fingers carded through your slightly tangled hair as you nuzzle your face between the warmth of her breasts. Giving the delicate skin small kisses every so often. Her sweet perfume still clung to her making your head swim deliciously.

“What’s wrong my love? You were less enthusiastic than usual.” Margaery whispers. Her free hand danced down your arm and briefly brushed against the side of your breast making you shiver.

It was true that you couldn’t even enjoy in the merriment of the festivities. You couldn’t bring yourself to be happy when there was a war going on.

“Should I be offended?” You hear the teasing in the question.

You laugh softly, kissing her nipple before you lift yourself up on your elbows. No matter how many times you saw her naked it was still such a divine sight everytime. You always felt like your body could never compare to her splendor. “I’m sorry. My mind is elsewhere when it should be here with you. I fear that the war has a hold on me though. Brother fighting brother. . . It’s not right yet it seems poetically justified. Isn’t that what history consists of? Brothers waging war against each other.”

“Have faith in Renly that he will make amends with Stannis. Eventually Stannis will see that he’s not fit to be king.”

You snort. “Dear Margaery, you don’t know Stannis. He thinks it’s his birthright to be king. After Robert he is the oldest. I think he may be even more stubborn than Robert was.”

She giggles and squirms underneath you. “Seems that’s a trait for all Baratheons!”

“Am I stubborn?”

“Very much so.” Margaery leans forward to press her lips on your’s and perfectly meld them together. You complied, as you always did, parting your lips to let your tongue dart out and beg for entrance.

“That’s what I love most about you though.” She admits against the kiss “Stubborn and tenacious. Like the warrior Nymeria.”

“Then I shall take it as a compliment.”

With Margaery, your worries were always forgotten.

At least for the time being.

~

“You shouldn’t be having a tourney! We’re in the middle of a war!” You have to stop yourself from shrieking as Renly put on his armor.

“Careful there sweet sister. You’re starting to act like Stannis.” He chuckles. Renly always loved to tease you. Especially when you were angry.

Trying to prevent your cheeks from puffing out as they so often did when you were upset, you cross your arms in front of you. “I’m serious Renly. You should concentrate more on what’s going on.”

“I am. I’m concentrated on what’s going on with you.” He replies more softly.

Perplexed you wait for him to explain.

Renly walks up to you, his armor clanking as he moved, and took your hands. “Margaery is worried about you (y/n). I’m worried about you too. This tourney is supposed to be for you. To get your mind off of all of this. Believe it or not your worry is worrying Margaery.”

You hadn’t thought about it like that. Feeling terrible for unknowingly putting Margaery through that you sink down to sit on top of one of Renly’s trunks. “It’s just so hard to enjoy things now. . .”

“I know. But you’re missing out on enjoying the small things. Leave the worrying to me (y/n). At least for a little while. I want you to enjoy this tourney with your lady love. You know how much she adores you.”

“Yes. You’re right. I’ll go apologize to her and enjoy the days ahead.” With a kiss to Renly’s cheek you pick up your skirts and rush out of his tent to go find the queen of your heart.

*

Lady Catelyn Stark looks over the whole affair with judgemental blue eyes that she had inherited from her father. Ned had always commented that they were their own, unique shade; Tully blue.

Renly wasn’t taking the situation seriously. Here he was throwing a tourney while good men died. He was treating it like a childish game.

A slight flare of anger flickered inside of her as she was walked through the grounds. The crisp air was filled with jovial laughs and the sound of hooves hitting the earth. All while her son struggled to form a bigger army, while her bannermen died at the hands of the Lannisters.

In the background were the clanging sounds of the tourney in full swing. The nearly thunderous cheers that were carried by the wind to Cat’s ears. Her guards lead her in the direction of the merriment knowing full well that King Renly would be there.

Indeed, there King Renly was with his loyal sister between him and a beautiful young lady that Cat could only assume was Renly’s new bride. It was a little odd seeing (y/n) Baratheon in the middle of the royal couple. She didn’t look to be disturbing the picture, in fact her presence seemed to bring together a vision of unification. Both Renly and his queen had hold of both of her hands as she watched with excitement. Cat noticed how the chestnut haired queen would look at the king’s sister. The Lady of Winterfell averted her eyes, feeling as if she had witnessed something she was not supposed to.

After the tourney where a large woman by the name of Brienne of Tarth bested Loras Tyrell, Catelyn was presented to Renly. The young king was all smiles and friendliness as he welcomed her. His young sister however appeared pensive and dare say a little wary of her presence.

“I don’t think you’ve had the honor yet of meeting these two lovely women.” Renly beams and brings his sister’s hand up to his lips for a quick kiss. “This here is my darling sister (y/n). And next to her , that great vision of beauty is my queen Margaery Tyrell of Highgarden.”

“An honor Lady Stark. I’m so sorry about your husband.” The Tyrell girls seemed to be a good diplomat as she puts on a pretty smile and eyes that were filled with genuine condolences. She was indeed a pretty thing suited well for the title of queen. Such a softer appearance than the Baratheon girl beside her. (y/n) still looked uncertain at Cat’s presence. As if she were expecting an ambush from Robb’s army. Smart and cautious she was; something Renly should’ve been. Those rich Baratheon blue eyes drill into Catelyn.

“The Lannisters will pay dearly for what they have done.” Renly releases (y/n)’s hand. “When I take King’s Landing, I’ll take Joffrey’s head.”

“It will be enough to know that justice was done, my lord.”

(y/n), who had been quiet so far, finally speaks. “Your grace, Lady Stark. My brother is a king.”

Even Brienne of Tarth snaps at Catelyn for that slip of the tongue. Renly is quick to calm both ladies down. Margaery squeezes (y/n)’s hand and leans her lips to her ear. Whatever was said calmed the youngest Baratheon. That brief fire in her voice had painfully reminded Cat of her own youngest daughter. They both shared the same spirit.

Renly stands from his throne, ignoring the worried stare of his sister as he makes his way down from his dais and up to Catelyn. “Let us take a walk, Lady Stark.”

*

You tried, oh how you tried to contain your Baratheon anger. Margaery attempted to soothe you with her soft hands on your arms but you were having none of it.

“How could you do this to me Renly?!” You brushed away Margaery’s touch and advanced toward your brother. “You’re marrying me off to Robb Stark?!”

“My love,” Margaery warned you “your temper.”

Turning on her you snap “How can you be so calm? Do you not love me at all?!”

She bristles at the accusation, her sweet face becoming expressionless as her eyes waver. You knew you had hurt her.

“Ladies, calm down.” Renly beckons the both of you back to him. He had been seated at his desk, the colors of his tent dancing off of him. Loras was in attendance as well, keeping quiet though it was clear that he disagreed with the engagement as well. “This is the only way to truly secure an alliance with this King in the North. It is clear that Catelyn doesn’t really respect my position. Now she’ll have to. I’m sorry (y/n). This is the most beneficial outcome.”

“I would’ve expected such a move from Robert or Stannis, but you Renly? You’ll be sending me away from Margaery.”

“Not forever.” Renly holds a finger up, indicating that you wait for him to explain. “Do your duties. Marry him, bed him until you produce a child, then return to us.”

The very thought of bedding Robb Stark so casually was unbelievable as you gawked at your brother. “You make it sound so easy. Damn you Renly. Not wanting to continue to hear whatever your brother had in store, you barge out of his tent. Margaery was quick to chase after your tail.

“(y/n)!” She calls after you.

Soldiers turned their heads as you made it to a secluded place, far away from the camps and hidden in the shelter of trees. “How can you be so calm about this? You should be just as mad Margaery!”

Even when her own temper was rising to the surface Margaery always played it off calm and collected. You admired and hated it all at the same time. “Of course I’m upset. This is just how the world works, my dear. Women are bartered over like prized cattle. It was the very same for me yet look at us. We’ve made it work.”

Scoffing you fold your arms. “I don’t think my husband will be as generous about the situation s Renly has.”

“He doesn’t have to.” You felt her voluptuous breasts press against your back as she winds her arms around you so that they latched across your stomach. Nose nuzzling against your neck as she places soft butterfly kisses on the bit of your shoulder that was exposed. Her fingers sneakily twist around the ties that crossed at the front of your gown. “Just think of me when he takes you. The sooner you have his child the sooner we’ll be reunited. My heart belongs to you (y/n). I trust you completely.”

Inhaling her sweet perfume you close your eyes already envisioning Robb bedding you on your wedding night. He wouldn’t know your body as well as Margaery did. All your sweet and tender spots that sent you spasming. How you loved it when she kissed the skin under your breast, leaving dark marks all over them. Margaery’s fingers curling into your hair, undoing the curls and pins, as you lapped at her womanhood. How could you possibly lay with anyone else? No one would know your body as Margaery did.

“I don’t want anyone to touch me but you.”

Her forehead presses against the nape of your neck. “I know. Do you think I want that wolf touching you? But I cannot fight him for you (y/n). Maybe if I were a man. I am but a woman. A married woman at that. The both of us must play our roles and enjoy the moments we have with one another. You’ll be back in my arms soon.”

“Will you still love me even if I carry the Stark king’s child?”

Margaery turns you around in her embrace to cup your warm cheeks. “Of course I will. Nothing will change (y/n).”

You hold onto her hands and prayed her words would be true.

#margaery tyrell #margaery tyrell x reader #margaery tyrell fanfic #margaery tyrell fanfiction #got #got fanfic #got fanfiction #got fandom #game of thrones #game of thrones fanfic #game of thrones fanfiction #asoiaf #asoiaf fanfic #asoiaf fanfiction #asoiaf reader insert #asoiaf fandom #game of thrones fandom #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction

[skysometric]

why, thank you for asking! i've been thinking it through for the last few days, i just wanted to make sure my answer was all written and ready to go first. all... checks notes... 4,000 words of it.

ICYMI, last week i sent asks to a bunch of my friends with a simple question: "what's your favorite game you played this year?" as i hoped, y'all gave a bunch of EXCELLENT answers, all of which i reblogged on my side blog @autumatically! (if you didn't get an ask like this and you want to join in, ping me – i sent too many asks to keep track of and i probably just forgot to send one your way!)

of course i wanted to answer this myself, but i wanted to write about more than just one game! and when i sat down to write, i just kept going, and going, and going...

so we're splitting this up! every day this week, i'll be counting down my top 5 games that i played in 2023. not all of these are games that i've streamed, and only one of them has shown up on anyone else's lists so far, so i'm really excited to reminisce and share my experiences this year 💖

maybe you'll even find a new game to try out? i'm certainly really excited to dig through y'alls lists and try some of the ones i missed out on this year!

to kick things off, let's start with:

Honorable Mentions

two games came out this year that i would probably put in my top 5, no competition. so why didn't i? because i didn't actually play them!

see, as much as i love to play video games, oftentimes i also like to watch them just as much. this has always been great for games that i never intended to play in the first place, like the Final Fantasies and Fortnites of our day… but lately it's also let me take turns with my partner on who plays which new releases.

in fact, for both of the games i'm about to list, i watched my partner play them in full and i've watched no less than two separate people stream them as well. which means, with all that oversaturation, it's probably gonna be a while before i play them myself…

either way! here's my top two games that i didn't play in 2023.

Pizza Tower

this one likely needs no introduction! Wario Land 4 is one of my favorite games of all time, and the way Pizza Tower extends those basic concepts is a masterclass of game design. the moveset is perfectly geared toward accessible speed tech, the level layouts are top notch, the different forms are unique and funny, the art style is GORGEOUS, the combo system adds incredible replay value and pushes the player to their limits…

honestly the only thing stopping me from playing this right now is that the levels are too fresh in my mind, and i'd like a little time to let those memories fade before i dive back in and experience everything in a wave of nostalgia. seeing so much of the game already was totally worth it, though – i had the distinct pleasure of watching my partner learn how to P Rank most of the levels, and the simple joy of watching her build up her skills is one of my standout memories of 2023. proud of you, love!

god, Pizza Tower is a perfect slice of video game. i can't WAIT to play it myself!

Super Mario RPG

as a young kid, i always wanted a physical copy of this game. i could never justify it, though, because i already owned it on Wii Virtual Console, and it was one of the more expensive SNES games i had my eye on… a whole $40 in 2007 money! fast forward to the modern day, and not only do i no longer have easy access to that old Wii copy, but a physical cart now goes for like $90???

blessedly, along comes the Switch remake. i still can't believe this exists – it's a perfect remake in every way, shape, and form! the sprite-based animations are lovingly recreated, the battle system is rebalanced in fun ways, and the music is PERFECTLY re-arranged. even the dialog, which i expected to be completely retranslated… it's smoothed over, but mostly unchanged! the original game's unabashed weirdness and charm is fully intact, and i did NOT expect that out of modern Nintendo.

this is one that i didn't mind watching others play; Super Mario RPG is all about the vibe, and this remake captures that vibe perfectly. i'm excited to play it myself once it's had time to settle! but, for now, i'm perfectly content just vibing with others~

#gaming #writing #top 5 games 2023 #pizza tower #super mario rpg #2023 year in review

[justkending]

Finding Memories. Chapter 20.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader 

Word Count: 2500+

TW: Torture, cussing, gore, PTSD, triggers.  

A/N: First off, I’m so sorry this has taken me SO long to get out. I have had no motivation and have been taking the break to sleep and rest since my nervous system is shot from dealing with hormonal 5th graders everyday. With that being said, thank you for you patience and kind supportive words letting me know it’s ok to write when I can, but it doesn’t have to be forced. Anyway I left you with a cliffhanger last time, so enjoy some explanation this time around;)

Chapter 20:  

“Ok, ok! Stop!” Nat shouted as Y/N’s hand death gripped her own.

After a minute of being in one specific memory's flashback, Wanda started to pull back after seeing how tense Y/N had become. 

“No!” she shouted, releasing her locked jaw. “I’m fine! Keep going.” Her tone was firm even if her face showed discomfort and anguish. 

Nat and Wanda shared a short look of unease but followed what they agreed upon when they first started. 

“No matter how bad it gets, keep going unless I say so,” Y/N had instructed. 

“Do we need a safe word?” Nat joked at the time. 

Seconds before Nat was about to throw all that out of the window and cut her off, Y/N’s eyes opened wide and her breathing stopped. 

“I remember why I know him,” she said softly. The sweat from the intense manipulation showed on her forehead and she was shaking some while still holding onto Nat’s hand. 

“Jesus.” Wanda took a breath herself seeing what Y/N had seen.

Nat looked between the two and saw all kinds of emotions flowing between them. 

“How did you know him?” She asked them in order to focus their minds one thing. 

Y/N took a second but she blinked out of her daze and looked at Nat. 

“He, uh,” she stammered, bringing a hand up to wipe her hair away and the sweat that it was sticking to. “He was another experiment at the facility. I think we were cellmates at some point.” 

“Cellmates?” 

“It had to have been when I first got there. The first couple of years I wasn’t of much importance to them. There was someone stronger and apparently more powerful than me they were focused on,” Y/N explained. She brought her knees up to her chest and stared off into the distance as she retold what she had found. “I was young in the memory. He was too. We were low-level mutants so they crammed us in a tiny cell together and would come to take us to the operating rooms and have their way with us.” 

Everyone in the room cringed at the thought of someone having their way with another. The saying never, nor would ever, become easier to hear no matter how many times it happened in cases like this.

“We were friends. We only had each other for the most part,” she continued. “When one was taken and then brought back later, bruised, beaten, and bloody, we would take turns consoling and try to help whatever pain they inflicted on us. But Gabriel… He didn’t heal as fast.” She looked at them both. “There were a lot of times I thought it was the end for him because of how bad of condition he would come back in.”

“Does he have any kind of healing powers?” Nat asked. 

“I don’t think so. If he does it’s barely above a normal person's healing rate,” she answered. 

“What happened when you were no longer in the cell with him?” Wanda asked, thinking back to the memory herself. 

She thought back, closing her eyes and trying to remember the excruciating details. 

“They moved us eventually. We could still talk to each other but it was through a vent in the wall. We were separated by a few cells,” she answered. “It was after they learned I was capable of more than just healing. I was contained in a room by myself after that. And… I was pulled by the doctors and scientists a lot more often.”

There was silence for the horror they were sure she was reliving in her mind right now. Then her eyes widened. 

“Wanda, I need you to look for something else,” she turned to her. 

“What?” she asked. “I don’t know if we should do this much back to back.”

“Please, there’s something that happened in between all this that I can’t grasp.” Her eyes were wide, slightly watering, and her plea read on her face. 

“Ok,” Wanda nodded. “What am I looking for?”

“At some point, they figured out my other power and there’s like a weird hole in the timeline I can’t understand.” 

Wanda wavered on doing another round of brain prodding, but if that’s what she wanted, she had to trust she knew her limit. 

Starting the process again, Y/N closed her eyes and kept Nat’s hand in hers. Wanda’s hand moved in a practiced way as the red mist surrounded Y/N’s thoughts.

“You, my dear, are my new prodigy. The last one wasn’t as indestructible as we thought. We’ll see how long you last,” a voice echoed in her head. 

Then it was as if played on a projector in her mind as they came back piece by piece. 

“Doctor, she’s prepped and ready for you, sir.”

“Step aside,” the voice of someone who was not in frame said softly, but with a tone of power. 

Y/N could tell that she was squirming on the table they had restrained her on, but she could also feel the kick of the drugs they administered to calm her. 

Her posture on the bed in real time seemed to slouch as she felt minor effects of the feelings she was having in the flashback. 

Nat was watching closely and already had moved a pillow behind her head in case she fell back anymore. 

“Hello, Pet.”

 His face entered the frame and there he was. The man that she had seen and felt in her dreams, but could never truly see his face… Until now. 

“Sir, we-”

The man’s finger went up without moving his eye contact away from Y/N.

“Don’t interrupt me. You may speak when spoken to,” he tilted his head as he surveyed his next victim. “Now you.” He said in a way that meant he wanted her attention. “You are going to be my next…” He paused, debating on what to label her and was careful of his wording. “Piece of art.”

She could feel the unease and panic of his words and how promising of a look he was giving. 

“Now!” he shouted, making her jump some. “Let the fun start. Dr. Hartley, hand me that scalpel and have the retractor on hand.”

Wanda was quick to pull her back out before the torture began and she felt all that too. 

“I’m sorry,” she said when Y/N came out of it and stuttered out her breathing. “I couldn’t keep you in there.” 

“What happened?!” Nat asked, rubbing a hand up and down Y/N’s back as she found her breath. 

“I’ll tell you in a little,” she assured, turning back to Y/N. “You ok?”

She nodded, but it wasn’t too convincing. 

“We should take a break,” Nat noted as she watched the other two’s backlash for the last 20 minutes.

“I agree,” Wanda said, looking to Y/N to join in. 

Y/N shook her head but still couldn’t seem to find her words. That just proved to her though that Wanda and Nat’s idea was probably for the best. Even if she didn’t want to stop, she knew her mind could only take portions of the memories. 

_____________________

“He’d dead though. We made sure of that,” Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he tried to comprehend the news. 

“We made sure of it as best as we can, but you know it’s also possible that we fell for the trick,” Tony sighed. “It’s not the first time we thought someone was out of our lives for good and they show up later perfectly fine.”

“But we had proof! We found his teeth in the ashes. They matched them and confirmed it was him,” Bucky tried to find a plausible reason why this all could be wrong.

“He’s an evil scientist,” Tony deadpanned. “Sure dental records could confirm it, but what is that to say he didn’t do some weird experiment to fake it.” 

“No, because-” 

“Jonas Harrow is out. Whether we want to believe it or not, he’s continuing his streak of human experimentation. And who knows what all he’s learned in the year we thought he was dead?” Tony interrupted. “If you want to help Y/N, you need to accept that he could be our next threat.” 

Bucky looked at him realizing Tony was actually right. He could deny it all day but that didn’t make it not true. 

Tony noticed the shift of nerves and worry go to anger and earnestness when he realized he had a new mission. 

“Now, what are we going to do about it?” Tony asked. 

Bucky let out a slow breath and after scratching his chin, put both hands on his hips looking toward Stark. 

“I think we should tell Y/N.” 

_____________________________

“I think we should tell Bucky.”

“Are you sure?” Wanda asked Y/N. “Not saying I’m against it, but I’m not sure he would be happy about the process.” 

“It already happened so no going back anyway,” Y/N responded. 

Nat got a call and the other two turned to her as she looked at the caller and raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s up?” she answered. There was silence as Tony spoke on the other end. “Uh-huh, ok… Got it. We’ll be down there in 5.” She turned to the girls who were waiting for context. “Stark wants us down in the lab. I think they found something.” 

“What?” Wanda asked. 

“Something I’m going to have to see for myself,” Nat replied with a look of worry. “Let’s go.” 

__________________

Just as they walked into the lab, Bucky’s head snapped up and scanned for Y/N. The need to make sure she was unharmed and safe had heightened since their recent discovery. 

“What’s going on?” Nat asked walking to the table with a purpose. 

Bucky saw Y/N come in after her and she carefully walked over to the side of the table he was at. 

“Did you get any rest?” he asked her seeing that she looked the opposite of rested. 

She was nervous to tell them what they were actually doing instead of resting. So she shook her head no, not lying, but also not going further into the truth. 

He was about to ask if she was ok, but Tony spoke up and started telling them their new evidence. 

“Y/N, we think we found the man in charge of your incarceration,” he got straight to the point. 

“What?” Her voice was a mere breath like she was socked in the gut from the words said.

Bucky placed a kind and gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“Because we know who it is though, we’ll be able to hunt him down faster and put an end to his operation,” he reassured. 

She nodded acknowledging his positive view on it but was still in a state of distress. 

“You may want to give her some details of this man and how we know him,” Nat encouraged Tony. 

“Right,” Tony nodded, coming around the end of the table he was at to stand next to her. He threw a small little device into the middle of the table and an entire screen shot up on all four sides of the table so everyone had a view of it. “For trigger reasons, I’m not going to put a picture up yet, but his name is Jonas Harrow.”

“Harrow?” Wanda asked. “Why does that sound familiar?” she said softly to herself, biting her thumbnail. 

“He’s not a stranger to the facility, unfortunately. He worked here for less than a year as a regular doctor. But one thing led to another and we figured out his intentions did not follow SHIELD protocol,” Tony explained. 

“What kind of intentions?” Y/N asked. Tony gave her a sad look and pursed his lips. The look alone told her where her mind wandered to was likely very accurate. “Oh.”

“We fired him and had him arrested after learning what all he had done and would continue to do if he wasn’t put into the detention we had him in.”

“Had as in past tense?” she asked. 

Bucky crossed his arms next to her and looked at the details again as she asked questions. 

“We held him here for a while but later he was transferred. During the transfer, he escaped,” Tony continued. “We tried to track him down but he stayed under our radar for a while. Never came up for air to show us any sign of life.”

“Until now,” Y/N nodded, her stance becoming more angry than nervous now. “But how did you know he was connected to my case?”

“A few clicks on the internet, some camera footage here and there, and canceling out some aliases he tried to go under made it easier.”

Tony swiped the information to a few far-off camera footage. For most, it wouldn’t be much of a lead, but for the Avengers apparently, it gave the answers to everything they needed. 

In each clip, the man seemed to have an entourage of men guarding him and chauffeuring him around. Clearly, he was paranoid about being caught or being put in harm's way. 

Hypocrite. 

“We also found some dark web and black market exchanges under some of his aliases. He was selling serums and drugs to other people in the same field. As well as purchasing new ones...” Bucky spoke up, looking at her from her side. 

Y/N’s veins seemed to burn at that moment. She knew what type of serums and drugs he was talking about because she was the one who underwent them firsthand before he sold them. She was sure she was the one who was the first hand experimentee when it came to trying the new ones he bought as well.  She, along with everyone else in that facility, were the test runs for these concoctions.

“I need to see a picture,” she said sternly looking at the screen. 

Wanda and Nat looked at her troubled but knew it was the next step whether they liked it or not. 

Tony looked to Bucky as if double checking he was in the clear for what was about to be projected and Bucky nodded him on, but his eyes never left Y/N’s once the picture popped up.

In front of them was a mugshot of the man who Y/N had seen 30 minutes ago in a flashback. She could hear his condescending name for her too clearly in her head. 

“Hello, Pet.”

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#bucky barnes series #finding memories #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x enhanced reader #reader insert #marvel reader insert #justkending #marvel #marvel series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader series

[joylinda-hawks]

Reasons are just a nicer name for excuses. WOH, Episode 24, Part 3. WKX walks up to the seated ZZS and hands him tea. ZZS sits on a chair and WKX sits on the ground. ZZS drinks tea and says that the disease took the master, but before he died, he entrusted Siji Manor to him. As a young leader of the ZZS, he was unable to defend the sect, which was under attack from many sides. For two years he managed to defend himself, so after that time he ran away. WKX tells him not to blame himself and asks what happened next. ZZS replies that he escaped. To console him, WKX says he must have had reasons. A distraught ZZS replies that reasons are just the name of excuses. ZZS says that his father used to be an assistant to Prince Jin, and the current prince is his cousin. The prince was worried that he had no one he could trust, so he turned to the ZZS for help. Memories come to life in the memory of ZZS. He remembers how he went to see the prince. The prince then told him how the prince's father treated their teacher, who died in prison. The previous prince of Jin did not allow him to be buried, which made the prince's son very worried. ZZS, sympathetic to his cousin, promised to secretly bury the teacher's body. The cousin asks the ZZS to come to Jin and help him. After these memories, ZZS adds that he led all the students of Siji Manor to Jin. ZZS did not suppose that he was deceiving himself. Once they were entangled in the web of great politics, there was no turning back. ZZS saw his brothers die one by one before his eyes. At the end, even Jiu Xiao died. After his death, ZZS had nothing to live for and asks WKX what he did then. With tears in his eyes, ZZS replies that he ran away again. WKX without words, only a gesture tries to comfort him. ZZS says that in the end he had these 7 nails left, the people he wanted to protect, the things he wanted to do, melted into nothingness even though he tried hard. They were like sand slipping through your fingers. ZZS looking at ZCL adds that fate turned out to be kind. He gave him a second chance, ZZS has someone to share his knowledge with. It's not just how much time he has left and whether he'll see ZCL grow into a man. WKX protests that YBY has promised to cure ZZS. ZZS replies that nothing in this world is absolutely certain. However, WKX does not change its mind. ZZS replies that no matter what, he is glad that WKX came back with him to Siji Manor. WKX is touched and tells ZZS to go to sleep, and he wants to get some fresh air. This scene is one big ZZS confession. Finally, the shell around his heart cracked and 2,000 layers of dust fell. A real ZZS stood in front of us. A gentle, sensitive young man with a lot of empathy. ZZS blames himself for his own mistakes, he feels like a coward because when a problem arose, he chose to run away. When his master died, ZZS was only 16 years old, he was still a child who had to become a man overnight. For two years he tried to become one. His innocence and trust were taken advantage of by his cousin. He treated the younger boy as a useful tool to achieve his own goal. Even at this moment, ZZS doesn't know how much Prince Jin manipulated him. Most of the misfortunes he suffered were due to the prince's ambitions. WKX is also unhappy to see the state of ZZS, listening to the words of ZZS remembers his own words that ZZS said when he found out that ZZS is dying. Both men couldn't save the people they loved. It connects them. WKX is afraid of how ZZS will react when its secrets are revealed. He doesn't want ZZS to reject him, he doesn't want ZZS to sink further into despair. This scene hits the viewer hard. You can't watch it without tears in your eyes. The acting of ZZH and GJ is so emotional and so convincing that I cry every time I watch it. It is independent of me. I can't hold back my tears. That says something in my opinion. ZZH and GJ played phenomenal here.

#zhang zhehan #zhou zishu #word of honor #wenzhou #wen kexing #gong jun

[okimargarvez]

Me & you

This time I will analyze each time when Penelope and/or Luke talked or acted like they, I mean just them two, were a team (we, us, me and you, you and me… and shades like dynamic duo).

I already said why the fact that Penelope first considered Luke and her as team is really really important for their relationship. I will make a trip through their relationship focusing on this theme.

At the beginning, when Luke started work with BAU, they were separate enteties. The first time that they (Luke, to be honest) considered themselves as team was in 12x17, when he saw her crying for Spencer and he offered to help the young doctor (and in that way, also her) and she accepted with her silence. This was confirmed at the end of the same ep, when Luke said that after the case and the discussion about Reid… he thought that there was a slight chink in her fluffy armor.

I don’t consider the moment when he showed his worries during Reid trial, because Penelope wasn’t so present in it, she was too shocked by the news. This is a bit different in 13x1, when Luke ran to console her, before Walker dead body. Because she was totally aware of the person that was touching her. She knew that was Luke.

They were a winner duo in 13x7, when they gave Lou to Phil. Luke prepared his best friend, then signed to Pen to join them with the puppy, and he also hugged her, full of happiness; she didn’t reject him, even if didn’t reciprocate him.

Then, they had another chance in 14x3, but she refused his attempt to help her or to show her that there was (and still is) someone who has time for her sensitiveness. Like in 12x17, Luke is worried for her and wanted to help, but she didn’t want.

They had to work together, only they two, in episode 14x8 (even if they also did it in 14x7, but there was also Tara and Rossi). Penelope wasn’t happy at all, but we should think that she never liked to have people around (all the time in her office) when there was a job to do (think about Elle, Gideon, Reid…), the big exception is JJ. So I don’t think that her behavior in that episode was a personal thing against Luke. Surely it was totally opposite to her attitude in 14x6, when she was so friendly and nice… but that because they were talked about Luke and Lisa. It was a safe argument. Anyway, after the team resolved the case, Penelope and Luke were setting the office, but he wanted to manifest his happiness that they were so good together. He said it: we’re the dynamic duo. But she refused his offer to give him five, and pointed out that they would have never been a duo. She didn’t want also to admit that he helped. But then, she had to ask his help again, to set the bullpen for Rossi and Krystall engagement party. And in that occasion, we finally saw their first hug.

Another important moment for them as a “couple” is in S14 finale, episode 14x15. They danced together and especially shared the slow dance. As I said many times… they were the only two not engaged, that we saw in that moment (the other were Rossi & Krystall, JJ & Will). They never said in this episode something that implied “we’re a thing”, “we’re one” or similar. But they did it with the gestures. Especially Penelope. Luke was just so fucking happy. She didn’t wear glasses and shoes. She seemed really vulnerable and open to him. Even if there wasn’t his girlfriend, evocated like a ghost. But the reason, in my opinion, is that it was an event out of the ordinary. So she could showed herself really really sweet, and came back to her defenses at the end of the party. 

In the first episode of S15 Penelope was again in Luke’s girlfriend place, and the latter is again evocated, but never appeared. They were a couple for the gesture, the body language, the complicity, the comfort between them. But also in the speeches, because, when Kristy thanked them for host the event… who were the “them” she referred to? Lisa wasn’t there, so it seemed that the two were Luke and Penelope. Surely Kristy wasn’t talked to BAU team, in general, because the place is only Luke’s.

They worked together whole episode 4, but this time for Penelope initiative. She chosen Luke to go to Elizabeth apartment and searching proofs of stalking. Was it because she wanted his protection? Was there more? All we know is that she looked at him asking the “permission” to talk with Elizabeth, because the latter needed someone who could understand. And she did. But Luke was with her, and she pointed to him, including him, reassuring the young girl that she would have been safe at BAU. Then, Luke, who had suspected all time, asked her directly if she wanted to talk about… what was going on. He demonstrated that he knew her very well. She couldn’t ignore it. And she wanted, a part of her, at least, wanted to tell him all. Not to someone, whoever, no, right to him. Luke Alvez. Ex-ex-Newbie. That’s why she told him also another thing she never told anybody, and Luke is almost incredulous. At the end of the ep, she thanked him in her way, using Elizabeth between them. She was too scared to do more.

At the end of S15, not only Luke finally asked Penelope out (and it was a true romantic proposal) and she accepted enthusiastically, but also they danced all night long. It was her farewell party. We can guess he waited for this moment. In the previous episode he told her and Tara, Matt, Spencer, about his break up with Lisa; Penelope told them about her offer job. Then she said that BAU is her family, looking directly at him, not randomly, and Luke echoed her, doing the same. With the date incoming, they were finally a “we”: “we’ll eat”, said Luke, rambling because he was so happy in that moment.

At the beginning of new season (16 or CME), we discover that their date wasn’t as we expected. We’ll talk about it, but not now. Penelope made clear (or tried) to Luke that she was happy with her new life, without gore, crime, BAU… and that implied also him. But she flirted, she teased, she cared a lot about his opinion on her (when he told her that they didn’t find a good replacement). She leaned to his kiss on her cheek. So, with words she said “We are separate entities” (or "frenemies"), but with the body is another speech.

They worked together again in ep 4. Penelope had an idea to make Tyler Green collaborate, she told Luke and he was enthusiast. He was so supportive with her idea, trying to convince her to tell it also to Emily, and helping to explain better when the boss didn’t understand at first. They acted like a married couple, arguing about who should go to Prentiss, because was Garcia idea, but involved Luke abilities. As always, they were a perfect team. In this occasion they didn’t consider themselves as “them”, in their dialogues; they said “you” and “I”, defining a line of demarcation between one and the other.

Penelope was so worried for Luke in ep 6, regretting all her mean words. Then, when they came back, they hugged and she was so in, compared to the first time they hugged. But then, there was TG situation. Luke guessed and guessed, until he decided it was time to make her spit all. She did and he maybe regretted… He was jealous and sad. Penelope called him friend, the one she could talk to… but acted not in a friendly way. In episode 9 we see the flashback of their date. In this scene they weren’t a thing. Not verbally and not physically, with their body language. That was Penelope fault, for her fear to make real things with Luke, letting him closer. And also Luke’s, because he was too respectful of her and even scared… to ruin everything he built in their relationship. She said there is absolutely something between them, but not that. Luke staid silent, but didn’t agree.

All I said until now changes, or better, assumes a different meaning, considering last episode of S16. Penelope had to fly with Luke, JJ and Will, to find Rossi and stop Tyler. That latter was shot. Luke was so supportive and caring all the time. He consoled her, helped her and TG, reassured her, and then… he made to stay alone with her. Knowing that the moment of breaking would have come. And it did. Between Rossi disappeared and TG under knife… she broken. Luke was there, as he promised (begged) her in 12x17. And she finally opened with him. Totally. She showed herself vulnerable and accepted his offer to talk. To share the anxiety and pain. She told him her fears, what if both Rossi and TG die? Luke didn’t repeat “it will be okay”, a white lie. No, he told her the truth. They could lean on each other and maybe in this way they can survive to this. And this implied that Luke also was suffering for this situation. Off course it was so, because he cared a lot of Rossi, but Penelope realized it before he made his offer? And probably she realized also that he was concerned even for TG… but especially because this made her suffer. So, she could do nothing but nod and hug him. And then, here we are. She said it: “We can do that”. She included him, then came back to her alone: “I want to do that”. And at the end, she found a compromise: “I want to do that because they need us”. “Us”, for Penelope, meant a lot. She knew that she couldn’t do it without him. She needed him as much as he needed her. Luke agreed with her. And she said something even more important: “Me and you”. Looking straight at him. Luke echoed her. She reaped “We can do this”, while he offered her the tea bottle. We see that it wasn't just empty words, because they worked together and when he told her suggestions, she followed them. They stayed so close, even after they saved Rossi. Walking out of elevator embraced as a couple. Last thing to say. Penelope changed her way to consider and seeing Luke after he red her mind and quoted that Emily Dickens phrase. Like a man, a man that she can considered in many ways. Not only as a coworker or a friend.

All my ramblings

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #penelope x luke #luke alvez x penelope garcia #penelope garcia x luke alvez #criminal minds reboot #criminal minds evolution

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

30th July >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

(Liturgical Colour: Green: A (1))

First Reading 1 Kings 3:5,7-12 Solomon chooses the gift of wisdom.

The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream and said, ‘Ask what you would like me to give you.’ Solomon replied, ‘O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in succession to David my father. But I am a very young man, unskilled in leadership. Your servant finds himself in the midst of this people of yours that you have chosen, a people so many its number cannot be counted or reckoned. Give your servant a heart to understand how to discern between good and evil, for who could govern this people of yours that is so great?’ It pleased the Lord that Solomon should have asked for this. ‘Since you have asked for this’ the Lord said ‘and not asked for long life for yourself or riches or the lives of your enemies, but have asked for a discerning judgement for yourself, here and now I do what you ask. I give you a heart wise and shrewd as none before you has had and none will have after you.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 118(119):57,72,76-77,127-130

R/ Lord, how I love your law!

My part, I have resolved, O Lord, is to obey your word. The law from your mouth means more to me than silver and gold.

R/ Lord, how I love your law!

Let your love be ready to console me by your promise to your servant. Let your love come and I shall live for your law is my delight.

R/ Lord, how I love your law!

That is why I love your commands more than finest gold, why I rule my life by your precepts, and hate false ways.

R/ Lord, how I love your law!

Your will is wonderful indeed; therefore I obey it. The unfolding of your word gives light and teaches the simple.

R/ Lord, how I love your law!

Second Reading Romans 8:28-30 Those he called, he justified.

We know that by turning everything to their good, God co-operates with all those who love him, with all those he has called according to his purpose. They are the ones he chose specially long ago and intended to become true images of his Son, so that his Son might be the eldest of many brothers. He called those he intended for this; those he called he justified, and with those he justified he shared his glory.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation John 15:15

Alleluia, alleluia! I call you friends, says the Lord, because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father. Alleluia!

Or: Matthew 11:25

Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed are you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for revealing the mysteries of the kingdom to mere children.kingdom. Alleluia!

Either:

Gospel Matthew 13:44-52 He sells everything he owns and buys the field.

Jesus said to the crowds, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field which someone has found; he hides it again, goes off happy, sells everything he owns and buys the field.

‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls; when he finds one of great value he goes and sells everything he owns and buys it.

‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea that brings in a haul of all kinds. When it is full, the fishermen haul it ashore; then, sitting down, they collect the good ones in a basket and throw away those that are no use. This is how it will be at the end of time: the angels will appear and separate the wicked from the just to throw them into the blazing furnace where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.

‘Have you understood all this?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ And he said to them, ‘Well then, every scribe who becomes a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who brings out from his storeroom things both new and old.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or:

Gospel Matthew 13:44-46 He sells everything he owns and buys the field.

Jesus said to the crowds: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field which someone has found; he hides it again, goes off happy, sells everything he owns and buys the field. ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls; when he finds one of great value he goes and sells everything he owns and buys it.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[lyna91fr]

Book Thoughts - Dans les fôrets de Sibérie (Consolations of the Forest: Alone in a Cabin in the Middle Taiga) by Sylvain Tesson

It all started with a quote that Namjoon shared on IG, from the book "Dans les forêts de Sibérie" (Consolations of the Forest: Alone in a Cabin in the Middle Taiga) by Sylvain Tesson. I don't know whether he read the book, but since it was on my reading list...

Note before we start: This is going to be a French and English thread. There was no way I would have read this author's work in English! So, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

This is an autobiographic story, with a simple pitch: the author decides to fulfill a dream - to live as a hermit for six months in a small wood cabin next to the Baikal lake in Siberia, before he turns 40. The book follows his journey, his introspective experience, as a diary.

This book is a gem! The poetry and the wordplay is beyond beautiful. While I wanted to share many quotes, the translations did not deliver the impression I had in French. An example: "Pointillé des pas sur la neige : la marche couture le tissu blanc."

The translation goes: "Footsteps dot the snow Walking sets short black stiches into the white cloth"

The English version does deliver the global feeling though, but yeah...

The author learns the ways to survive in this remote place, compares his hermit daily life to what he would do in his fast Parisian life, reads a lot (brought TONS of books with him). He gradually sets in a routine, recording and writing down his experience and his thoughts. Days go by slowly. Time does not have the same meaning there.

"Time wields over the skin the power water has over the earth. It digs deep as it passes."

In fact, everything he writes is not only deeply meaningful, but you can visualize his words so easily in your mind.

"Time wields over the skin the power water has over the earth. It digs deep as it passes."

"If nature thinks, landscapes express the ideas... There would be the melancholy of forests, the joy of mountain torrents, the hesitation of bogs, the strict severity of peaks, the aristocratic frivolity of lapping waves."

Another example of this "visual representation" of the author's way of writing:

"When the lake is as slick as oil, the reflection is so pure that you could misread which half of the mirror image was which... The reflection is the echo of the image; the echo is the image of the sound."

Apart from the external part of the daily life, there is also the introspective journey. The author wonders what he will find if he looks inside. That's another reason why he chose to go there, alone.

"The courageous course would be to face things: my life, my times and other people... What am I?"

I don't know whether NJ read that book, or just the quote from somewhere else, but I was surprised to read about another book NJ posted on IG in this book too. But then, as I mentioned previously, the author read a lot during his 6 months...

"Addressing the young poet Franz Xaver Kappus, Rainer Maria Rilke writes in his letter of 17 February 1903: 'If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it, blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches"

Speaking about quotes, this is the one Namjoon put on IG, with the original text in French:

"Ecoutant la musique de la houle, je regarde griller mes poissons embrochés sur des pics de bois vert en pensant que la vie ne devrait être que cela : l'hommage rendu par l'adulte à ses rêves d'enfant."

Who else but the author to give you an idea of what he felt and wrote in his book? I found a very short interview on YT with some snippets of the documentary that he did while living there. He speaks English fluently.

The French documentary on the author's experience, is complementary to the book he wrote. Here goes the English version.

There is also a 2016 movie called "In the Forests of Siberia" and while it is a great movie, it's not the original story from the book but an adaptation with a new character. The music is hauntingly beautiful and matches perfectly the visuals. Here goes the trailer of the movie:

Do I recommend the book? Yes! I really enjoyed escaping to this hermit life in the first days of the year! If you can, I recommend reading the French version. Maybe watching the short interview will help you understand the mindset of the author too.

#bts #bts books #namjoon #bts army

[lherra]

Title: A Journey of Self-Discovery: My Experience in Senior High

My experience as a Senior High Student

A person's transition from adolescence to young adulthood occurs during senior high school, which is a crucial period in their life. It's a time of academic pursuit, personal development, and self-discovery that offers many opportunities and difficulties. Throughout my time in senior high school, I have had a lot of chances to learn new things, make enduring friendships, and find my passions. This essay details the life-changing experience I had in senior high school, highlighting the important lessons I took away, the challenges I overcame, and the 🪙memories I treasured.

Senior high school gave students a solid foundation for intellectual development and inquiry. I took the time to learn more about the topics that piqued my interest and developed new ones in the process. My discipline and determination were fostered by the demanding assignments and demanding coursework, which encouraged me to aim for excellence. Through stimulating conversations, hands-on projects, and challenging assignments, I improved critical thinking, problem-solving, and effective communication skills in addition to broadening my knowledge. I developed a lifelong love of learning and learned the importance of academic perseverance in senior high school.

Senior high school was a testing ground for personal development and self-discovery, in addition to academics. I had to confront my passions, shortcomings, and strengths at that time. Outside of the classroom, extracurricular activities like clubs and sports allowed me to explore my interests and talents. Through these experiences, I was able to grow in my self-assurance, leadership, and teamwork. In addition, I learned resilience, adaptability, and the value of perseverance from the difficulties and setbacks I experienced along the road. My time in senior high school gave me the ideal environment to grow into a well-rounded person.

The friendships I made along the way are among the things I value most about my senior high school experience. My newfound network of friends, confidants, and adventure partners were this diverse group of people. We experienced highs and lows as a group during our time in senior high school, sharing joy and consolation when things got tough. Outside of the school, the friendships and experiences we shared have shaped my life and will always be a source of joy. I gained an appreciation for genuine relationships and the happiness that comes from having a strong support system of friends in senior high school.

Reminiscing about my time in senior high school brings back mixed feelings of nostalgia. My mind is overflowing with images of classrooms full of laughter, late-night study sessions, and thrilling victories. Every experience is cherished in my heart and serves as a constant  reminder of senior high school's transformative power. These treasured memories act as a continual reminder of who I was, who I am becoming, and who I hope to become. My senior high school experience left me with memories that will always influence my viewpoint and serve as a guide for my future  pursuits.

Senior high school was more than just a phase in my life; it was a life-changing experience of introspection, development, and academic pursuit. Through intellectual challenges, personal victories, enduring friendships, and treasured memories, I came away from senior high school with a more comprehensive understanding of the world and a clearer sense of who I was. My future endeavors are based on the experiences and lessons I've gained throughout this time. My senior high school experience has given me priceless lessons and memories that I will carry with me into the next chapter of my life.

#My Reflection Essay

[moultinmush]

5# A Fandom Worse Than It's Content: Nothing Is Scary

Mandi's reaction to what they thought to be betrayal was horrific, if not sad. But Scary's reaction was downright demonic—He'd led the charge to destroy my server, all in order to gain what he perceived to be justice.

When it comes to Scary, I would still prefer a certain amount of leniency in his emotion reaction to the situation. Although he never changed throughout the years—He still was a late teenager and near young adult in these. He wasn't (Still isn't I'd wager) Well, I'm sharing the below to explain where his obsession with hating Reitanna spurred on from—Along with offering proof that he has a history of harassment and spamming pornography.

Now, there is censored loli beyond the ''Keep Reading'' Once again, it's censored. But I am strongly emphasising the warning here because it’s still grim and clear that what’s being depicted is of a minor. I do vaguely remember what it looked like pre-censored (I did not keep the uncensored version.) And apart from boobs being slapped on it’s so clearly a child/a very young teenager.

He spammed between 10-20 images (It would've been more if Discord didn't have an image limit.) And they consisted of Loli/Furry content—Of which I won't be going through and censoring because 1) Why would I subjugate myself to that, I already feel disgusted including the above at all. 2) He spammed, a lot of pornography. Far to much for me to sort through.

I want to emphasis I will always prioritise the truth, and the facts of the matter over my own emotions. It's true Scary hadn't done the raids alone, hell he probably wasn't the one to suggest the idea (It was more likely to have been Mandi, who was in her mid 20s.) When it comes to the matter of the type of pornography he was showing, he apparently had just left a relationship that started when he was 14 with an adult that stemmed of Omegle. He was groomed, and unlike how he'd decide to treat me half a year after this, I won't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

(Below Scary briefly discusses being groomed.)

At the end of the day, he was one of the main raiders. He instead of thinking for himself and considering what his friend was like—Lashed out, and proceeded to after the raids themselves, harass and emotionally guilt them. That wasn't Mandi, that wasn't Yums, that was Nothingisscary.

The screenshots above were Scary’s attempt at comparing the writing style between me and Ma7chsticks. First off, for fucks sake it was literally so incredibly obvious Ma7chsticks was attempting to copy me. I am dyslexic, certain spellings of words was hard for me, but you could tell why—I write phonetically (As in, how words sound.) not so much anymore as I’ve got many words memories now—But you could still see a pattern and logic to the chaos.

you will also notice I say ‘’Huh, why are you showing me a screenshot from the politics discussion? That couldn’t be less relevant if you tried!’’ Dyslexia isn’t just about spelling, but comprehension of a text and linking things together to create a picture of meaning. Half the time I barely understood what people were saying, so putting together one part of a discussion and another was difficult. Straight up, I had no idea what he was trying to say.

Meanwhile in Mandis server people were consoling him, and saying how they knew we were close. Course later on things would be sorted, in the second screen (It's dated I think a week later?) Mandi says it's old news, and I cannot word how deeply both upsetting and cruel that is. She was apart of the bullying, and harassment of a minor. And it's old news.

Eventually it finally got out it wasn't me. And all I wanted was for us to be friends, I didn't want revenge or a lengthy apology. Just a sorry, and for us all to be friends again.

A good amount of people knew what kind of images Scary was sharing. Pearl was one of them, and I'd have to guess she saw them during the raid. (Wouldn’t know, as I wasn’t there—Can only guess. Does make me question why Mandi nor Yums said anything.) At that point in the timeline, Scary had also been relentlessly harassing Pearl as to if they were the Kiwi Farmer or not.

Also Pearl is completely right here, being underage yourself isn't an excuse or pass for sharing the images he'd been. As Scary said, he's not into Loli, his earlier perception of that developed due to being groomed. Is that true? Not my place to say, at the end of the day he was a minor too. And unless more recent evidence surfaced, I'm not willing to entirely support that narrative.

When I had my new server up and running, Scary still wanted a channel for graphic content. At that point, I had a bit more of a back bone and said it wasn't something for me to decide (Ah yes, a diversion.) Now as of writing this, Scary creeped into my DMs to "Apologies" And clarified back then he was the kind of person to beg to be allowed in NSFW channels because he genuinely couldn't see how it was wrong.

Which makes me think perhaps my only option back then really had been to pretend to be on his side, that it was "out of my hands" because he would've kept trying to pressure me otherwise.

Another thing was he hated Tara. She was the only person actively trying to do anything and stand up for what was right. Obviously, Scary who had a porn addiction, didn't like that.

You'll see in the end screenshot I snapped and finally had enough. I told him to get over himself, as I'd only been pretending to agree with him because I assumed he wouldn't attempt to drag someone else into this to defame Tara when she did nothing wrong.

Next ->

#bullying tw #reitanna seishin #loli tw #emotion abuse #Youtube