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flowerwrites06 · 7 months

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forest bride — myg

FOREST BRIDE | Min Yoongi | Oneshot | Requested by Anon

Original Request: hii i would like to request an arranged marriage au that turned out as a healthy relationship, unlike where oc came from y'know family full of mistreatment and favoritism. any member is fine! thank u! Plot: The business transaction of a marriage between two previous warring clans takes an unexpected turn. Pairing: Yoongi x OC (Name: Kiku) Genre: Historical Inspired | Arranged Marriage Rating: 18+ Word Count: 8.9k Warnings: emotionally distanced family dynamics, emotional abuse and bullying from family members, minor character death (mentioned), angst, explicit sexual content (unprotected, gentle). Author's Note: This was soo much fun to do! I hope you like reading it as much as I loved writing it! Thank you to the anon who requested this <3

Kiku was a quiet daughter amongst children of four in the Moon Clan. She was in the middle of the line of birth, often keeping to herself while her father doted on her brothers and her mother babied Hanaka, her sister. Kaito, the oldest son of their family, was the only person who ever paid attention Kiku.

He taught her how to play the Koto when they were younger. The soft plucking of strings were the only sounds she made in her household. Her mother, Keiko complimented the sound with the assumption that it was Hanaka. When Kaito explained that it was Kiku, their mother pointed the lack of precision at the ends of each verse.

Kiku felt safe and comforted under the wing of Kaito.

But fate had other plans.

Kaito grew sick after a hunting wound turned gangrenous and the winter only worsened his condition. When he passed, Kiku felt the searing and back-breaking weight of her family's scrutiny.

Suddenly she was no longer Kaito's companion. She was a mouth they didn't want to feed.

On the fresh cusp of spring, her parents unceremoniously announced her arrangement to marry the chief of the Onyx clan. Their rival.

"Kaito said they were dangerous," Kiku said as she knelt on the ground of their main living area. Her parents stared down at her while Hanaka and their younger brother Haruki sat on the cushioned mat.

"Kaito isn't here. Don't name him when we haven't finished mourning, stupid girl," Keiko spoke through gritted teeth.

"You will marry Chief Min Yoongi and give this family an important alliance," Daiki said with a finality to his tone.

The Onyx Clan was notorious for raiding other clans, enslaving their high-born families and treating any foreign spouses like dirt. Preventing them from causing any problems in the Moon Clan was to keep them at bay with something that they didn't think was a risk.

Keiko would never send Hanaka to a place like that. Perhaps Kiku was prepared specifically for this very alliance, forcing themselves not to love her so they could make a difficult decision. Perhaps that was just her own heart trying to find a glimpse of love in a place that had none for her since the beginning.

Kiku lowered her head in a solemn acceptance, her dress still black and her heart still raw from mourning the only family member who loved her. "I will do as you wish."

The wedding flourished during a misty, cold morning just at the skirts of dawn where purple kissed the edges of the mountains. Kiku wore a white dress of pretty silk, embroidered in both ivory and crimson thread as if the cloth bled. A white veil laid over her head giving the world around her more of a misty vision.

They held the wedding in the central border between the Moon and Onyx Clan. There was a gentle plain where it was decorated with flowers, divided with wood and a tea set prepared on a small wooden table. Her father walked her over to the table.

Kiku forced herself not to look at her groom just yet. Instead staring at the teapot in front of them, spouting a plume of steam with the faint hint of jasmine and honey in her nose. Tea ceremonies during weddings were a common tradition amongst both clans. Thankfully, it was a tea that Kiku enjoyed but the symbol of it dawned on her like a heavy weight on her back.

Sharing tea with a man outside her family was a sign that she was now connected to him. Bonded to him. A man that Kiku hadn't even looked at yet. So she gained some bravery within herself and stared up.

Min Yoongi wasn't a large man but he was taller than her. In this vulnerable state, he looked like a looming statue. It wasn't necessarily his stature but his presence that created weight. His black eyes pierced deeply into her as if peeling off layers of every protective sense she had of herself.

A deep scar ran down his eye, making it a little greyer than the left eye. His lips were pursed and a little pink while his pitch black hair was long to the nape. Short hair was often a sign of a deadly warrior. Someone who killed many without mercy and had little honour. At least that was what her parents told her.

The esteemed monk stepped to the front of the altar and began to recite ancient chants of a bonding ritual. Kiku tried to focus on the words but she couldn't stop keeping Yoongi's gaze. His eyes softened just then when she wasn't loosening her gaze either. As if he was waiting for her to look at him.

For a brief moment, Kiku noticed something gentle behind that demeanour. Or perhaps it was yet again her mind tricking her into feeling something positive when her world was turning upside down and she couldn't do anything about it. Yoongi glanced briefly over to the monk as they stepped to the table.

He waved his hands as he spoke his chants before gesturing to a young boy.

It was the father's duty to pour the tea. So Daiki poured it with a solemn face, almost bored. The waft of jasmine and honey coated her nose, giving her some comfort.

The groom shared his tea with the bride first. Yoongi's hands were veined heavily as if he were training in the dark hours of the morning before coming here. He reached out carefully, slow enough so Kiku didn't feel shocked. He pulled at the fabric and revealed her face, the cold morning breeze kissing her heated up skin.

Yoongi picked the tea cup, softly placing the brim of the cup to her lips.

Kiku kept her eyes on him right until she felt the warm honey touch of the tea on her tongue. She slowly pressed her lips together as he pulled the cup away. Just as Yoongi's cup clinked down, she picked up her own cup.

Yoongi lowered his head a little, making it easy to her to gently tip the cup. He took a sip, his throat bobbed up and down before she placed it back on the table.

The ceremony had been sealed. Even as Kiku foolishly tried to look back and say goodbye to her family, her mother was already fixing Hanaka's hair and her father continued speaking to Haruki. Niether of them gave any indication that they wished for a goodbye so Kiku turned back without a word.

Yoongi held her hand, just barely brushing at first to ensure Kiku would respond.

Kiku curled her fingers around his, allowing him to fully intertwine together before making way to the horses.

Yoongi clasped her waist, pushing her up to sit on the horse. Then he sat behind her, grabbing the reins as the scent of rain wafted in Kiku's nose.

The air turned wet to the touch and she noticed the darkened splotches on the tree bark of a soft drizzle slowly turning to gentle rain.

"Are you sure you don't want to speak to them?" Yoongi uttered his first question as her husband and Kiku wasn't sure how to respond or feel.

Kiku glanced briefly at her family, seeing Haruki rubbing his brow in boredom while her mother was still having a conversation with Hanaka, touching her chin. Still none of them tried to look her away. "It's alright."

Yoongi didn't order the horse to move for a few minutes before a small hum vibrated through his chest, tingling her back. "Very well," he said. He made a clicking noise and the horse began to gallop at a steady pace.

The forest that was considered Moon Clan's territory was an identical stream of teal leaved trees and small wildflowers, clustered amongst light brown mushrooms and wet lands. Kiku enjoyed walking through them purely because it was peace outside of her household.

However, Onyx Clan's territory harboured something so different that it almost felt magical. There were still those collections of teal leaved trees that wafted a sweet scent. Other than that, she saw patches of yellow and pink flowers, flat mushrooms that blushed at the edges and pretty deep green vines that wrapped around dark tree bark.

The sun began peeking a sharp light at the edge of the mountains, making the distant rivers look like melted gold.

The Onyx Clan itself was a beautiful village, with calmly sleeping cows and horses in their stables. Night food stalls open for business as families were out to eat chilli noodles and honeycomb candy. Moon Clan was so used to clean diets and fresh fish that the deep, spiced notes of the stalls overwhelmed Kiku, reminding her even more than she wasn't in her old household anymore.

People of the Onyx Clan gave way when they noticed Yoongi riding into the village. Their faces filled with smiles and excited whispers as they noticed her white dress. A little girl waved shyly at her.

Kiku hesitated but waved back with a faint smile.

As they arrived to the main cluster of houses for the high-born Min family, Kiku saw a group of people waiting for them.

Yoongi jumped off the house with a thud before gently holding onto Kiku again and helping her onto the ground as well. A small set of stairs led up to the cluster of houses.

When they reached, the older woman in centre gave a kind smile. By the way she was dressed in a beautiful silk kimono and the way Yoongi bowed low when seeing her, Kiku knew she was the matriarch of the family. Seeing so much kindness after her grief was something Kiku hadn't prepared herself to expect. So for a moment, she felt lost and unable to respond. She managed to give a wide enough smile.

"Bloody hell, Yoongi, you scared the shit out of her," a young woman from the side chuckled. Not in mockery but just jovial nature.

"Yun," the older woman reprimanded with a serious expression. "Manners." She turned back to Kiku with a smile. "Sorry, my dear, I understand you're in a new place. And our clans haven't had the best relationship but you are family now." She reached out and touched her hand.

Kiku could've been moved to tears at a warm mother's touch but she kept herself strong.

"My name is Hwayoung," she said. "These are my daughters Nari and Yun. I have a son named Yeong but he's away on a trip and will return tomorrow."

Kiku nodded. "It's lovely to meet you."

Hwayoung's flickered to Yoongi. "Let's have dinner and then you both can go rest."

After their dinner concluded and Kiku's belly was warm, they convened back to their bed chambers.

Kiku was given night dresses and also new clothes for the next few days. Especially since her family didn't give her any dress to take except for one.

For a while, the room was left empty with just Kiku watching the fire flicker before skimming through the books laid upon the mantle. It was mostly war and history stories along with some manuals on mastering the sword. Kiku wished she had some books on the Koto to play and fill her days that didn't have to do with having Yoongi's children. But she wasn't sure.

Hwayoung and Yoongi's sisters seemed nice enough but there was no way of telling whether it was a momentary ruse. After all, they couldn't be rude to her in front of everyone. Although a part of Kiku wanted to believe that their kind faces were genuine.

The door then clicked open. Yoongi walked through, wearing a relaxed black silk shirt and his hair tousled as if he had just taken a bath. He closed the door behind him, expression taken aback for a moment as if he hadn't expected someone in his bed chambers before softening.

"Do you have everything you need?" Yoongi asked.

"Yes, thank you." Kiku walked forward to him as he sat at the edge of the bed. She didn't say anything yet but Yoongi's throat bobbed up and down.

Stammering, he said. "We can just sleep."

Kiku blinked curiously. Of all the things she expected, this wasn't one of them. It was relieving that he was kind but to completely let her adjust to the new place was not on the list of expectation. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Yoongi said, keeping his eyes on her. "It's been a long day. We should both rest."

Kiku intertwined her fingers together and nodded, feeling a strange warmth in her chest. "Alright. Good night."

In the morning, Kiku awoke to an empty space in her bed. When one of the maidservants entered to serve her, she explained that Yoongi went out to train early in the morning just before breakfast to keep him awake.

Kiku hoped she didn't look scared to deter him into performing any marital duties. Perhaps throughout the day, she could try to comfort him. She knew what she was getting into.

After taking a warm bath with the maidservant being surprisingly gentle and kind, Kiku was called into breakfast by Hwayoung.

The Min family gathered under a gazebo structure made from black wood. It was round and the food laid out smelled like home in a place that hadn't been her home for a full day yet. Baked fish, soups, rice, fruits for sweetness. It was a spread for something that usually rushed in her family. Or at least Kiku would have to eat quickly.

Kiku sat down next to Yoongi while Yun and Nari continued on their conversation. Yoongi's brother, Yeong came in from his trip and he looked a softer compared to his older brother and smiled often. Usually making jokes with his mother.

Yoongi ate fish and seemed to prefer the soups over rice.

While the others were deep in their conversation, Kiku leaned in slightly. "How was training?" she asked.

Yoongi looked up, again a little shocked but quickly softened. "It was good."

"Yoongi gets quite sore after his training, Kiku," Yun said with a small smirk. "Maybe later in the afternoon, you should give him a massage. Lord knows he needs a good one."

Yoongi glared for a moment but Kiku found it endearing.

"Yun," Hwayoung reprimanded but with a playful air this time rather than the disciplinary one of last night. "Kiku should not be forced to do anything she doesn't want to."

Kiku stammered. "I'm alright with it. I used to give shoulder massages to my brother all the time."

Yoongi cleared his throat. "It's really alright." He nodded.

Kiku smiled politely, lowering her head.

"Perhaps Kiku should come spend the day with us since brother insists on being boring," Yun said.

"I am new here," Kiku said.

"A tour then," Nari said.

Hwayoung perked up. "You can take her down to the markets and get some silks or jewellery. There's lots of music playing there too."

Kiku blinked curiously. "Would there be any Koto players?"

"You like the Koto?" Hwayoung asked.

"My brother taught me how to play." Kiku's heart clenched at the mention of him again. It had been so lovely to be in a place like this. How nice would it have been if their family all spoke so easily to one another.

"That's sweet. How is your brother now?"

"He's passed away," Kiku said.

"I'm sorry, my dear." Hwayoung's eyes turned sad. Both of empathy for her but something else. "I lost my husband a while ago as well. I understand it can feel empty." The table turned quiet for a few moments to remember their father

"Thank you." Kiku's words were simple but Hwayoung didn't fully realise just how much comforting words directed at her. Like a warm, tight hug that she could cry into.

Kiku spent her time walking around with Yun and Nari as they explained all the ins and outs of the clan's main village. They had three smaller towns that used the same supplies and answered to Yoongi as Chief but this was the clan that Yoongi's ancestors had built and it was beautiful.

Nari took her to the bookshop and silk store. Kiku bought herself a pretty purple silk dress while also getting books on poetry that she used to enjoy listening to. A poetess would visit their clan when they were younger and Kaito would work in the shadow puppet shows to re-enact them.

It was one of the few things Kiku was allowed to watch with the family while helping Kaito work with the puppets.

Then they went to the food stalls. Kiku ate spicy dumpling noodles with mushrooms foraged from the forest. Apparently they helped with childbearing as the old woman stated, clearly knowing that it was going to be her who bears the next Chief. Kiku hadn't quite let that sink in but even when she did think about it, it wasn't a horrible thought.

Kiku, Yun and Nari then made their way to the training grounds once their bellies were full and their cheeks hurt from laughing. Kiku hadn't laughed or smiled like this since Kaito made jokes to cheer her up. While they did bicker, Yun and Nari seemed like they were close and loving to one another.

Kiku wondered if Hanaka and her would have ever been like that if their mother didn't get involved so much.

At the centre of the training grounds, Kiku saw Yoongi training with his younger brother Yeong. He spoke instructions for Yeong to follow, keeping one hand behind his back as if to hinder himself from making any strong moves. Yeong kept his hands tight on the hilt of the sword, swinging right against Yoongi's parries as the clang of steel whistled in the air.

Kiku found herself seeing the concentrated scrunch of his dark brows, sharp jawline a little clenched as he parried another attack. His black hair was tied back with chunks of it falling over the frame of his face. "He does this every morning."

Yun hummed. "You like what you see?"

Kiku cleared her throat. "It's nice he's teaching his brother."

"Yeong should focus on his studies too but he keeps running to brother for more training," Nari said. "Yoongi never refuses. He likes training for no reason."

"Ever since father died, brother trains constantly. There's no war but he always says there might be danger," Yun said. "Even with your alliance, he's still weary." Nari quickly nudged her arm and for the first time, Yun felt a little uncomfortable.

Kiku pursed her lips together. She wondered if Yoongi was suspicious that her father would run an attack on them regardless of their alliance. While Kiku was a small risk to lose in the family, her father still may break the deal. She had little trust in her father and wouldn't be surprised if he wishes to prove some kind of point.

As she shifted in and out of her thoughts, Kiku saw Yoongi turn to notice them watching. Notice her watching. Kiku tried to look down at the wrapped silk dress in her arms, hoping it wouldn't look too suspicious. Yoongi turned to tell Yeong to take a break before making his way over to Kiku.

"Looks like your husband wishes to speak to you." Yun smirked, returning to her demeanour as if nothing happened. She pushed Nari towards Yeong to speak to him instead.

Yoongi raised his brow as his sisters rushed away. Beads of sweat had formed on his hairline as he met Kiku's gaze. "They didn't bother you too much?"

Kiku was shocked by what sounded like a genuine question. "No. They were lovely. They showed me around the main town."

"I can see that," Yoongi said before giving his sword away to a servant. "Come with me."

Kiku nodded and followed him out of the training grounds.

They moved from the training grounds back into the cluster of houses where the Min family resided. Yoongi escorted her to their personal house and Kiku wondered whether Yoongi wanted to pursue their marital duties now that he was given time.

It was strange but Kiku's heart pounded not quite out of fear or worry. It was simply curiosity and perhaps even a little excitement. Everything Yoongi had done so far was give her comfort.

As they entered the main house, a beautiful polished Koto stood in the living area.

Kiku's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the Koto which had beautiful ivory finishes and a soft chair to sit on while playing. "Is this for me?" she asked in a low tone.

"You said you used to play Koto. I figured you'd like to play in your free time," Yoongi said. "Your parents didn't pack much for your trip." He shrugged.

Kiku's lips parted as she reached out and touched the Koto. Memories of playing with her brother and learning every note with him burst in her like sweetness. Tears formed a thin gloss on her eyes, as she took a deep breath.

"Is it alright?" Yoongi asked.

"It's perfect," Kiku said. She turned and smiled. "Thank you. You didn't need to do that."

"It was nothing," Yoongi said. "It's your home now too."

Kiku nodded as her heart swelled.

"Also if my mother starts giving you too many lessons, I can get you a secret room."

Kiku let out a small chuckle. "It's okay. I'd like a lesson."

Yoongi pressed his lips together, a hint of a soft smile forming on his features which only made Kiku's heart warm.

Kiku's time in the Onyx Clan was far more pleasant and loving than she ever expected. Before she even realised, four months had passed. Kiku spent days with Yun and Nari, had meals with Hwayoung and then spent a quiet night with Yoongi. It was still innocent between the two of them but she enjoyed those quiet moments sharing things about their day. Yoongi still didn't speak on any personal things and Kiku didn't want to pry on how he got the scar on his eye or about his father's death. But it was still nice.

Kiku nearly forgot that she had another life prior to these few months. It was only when her younger brother, Haruki came to visit the clan. Discomfort returned to her chest, aching and making her twitch. She barely spoke to Haruki and every time they had a conversation, it was malicious. Haruki found joy in insulting her and demanding her to do things as a way to mimic their father.

Kiku reminded herself that she wasn't in that place anymore. This was her home too. She wore her new purple silk dress and pinned her hair up while the servants prepared a tea set on the floor table.

Haruki entered the private house as escorted by the servants. A childish grimace on his face as always but his chest puffed to look like father.

Kiku kept sited at the table.

Haruki stood over her for a few moments as if waiting for her to stand. "You wouldn't bother to see your brother at the border."

"You've come at a busy hour," Kiku said. Truthfully, she wanted to be in the warm comfort of her home to breathe easy and hide her shaking fingers. "What did you need?"

Haruki scoffed and sat down, tapping the side of the teacup. "Father's dead."

Kiku had little love for her father but she still sit in a moment of silence, unable to know what do with the news. "What happened?"

"We need more supplies," Haruki said, ignoring her question.

It was courtesy anyway so she didn't ask again. "The Moon clan has spare granaries for those occasions."

"We have an alliance." Haruki eyed her up and down. "I'd expect you to tend to it since you're clearly not tending to any children."

"What happened to the granaries, Haruki?" Kiku asked, emphasising his name.

Haruki pursed her lips, keeping his eyes on her gaze and waiting for her to look down. When she didn't, Haruki's face twitched. "We'd been using it."

"For what?"

"That's none of your concern," Haruki said.

"So not emergencies then," Kiku said.

"You can't speak to me that way." Haruki chuckled bitterly.

"I'm the Lady of this territory and your older sister, I can speak to you in whatever tone is necessary." Kiku narrowed her gaze. "What happened?"

Haruki tightened his jaw like a stubborn child. "We'd been taking from it for the banquets. Father and mother celebrated a lot because you were gone."

"And after brother's death," Kiku said.

"Don't talk about brother."

"He was my brother too. More a brother than you ever were."

Poison laced in his voice. "Kaito spent time with you because he felt bad for you. You were this pathetic thing crouching around everywhere. The only time people said anything nice about you was in order to fuck you. Don't pretend you were someone special to him or Yoongi." Haruki gestured to the door. "He's not even willing to put a baby in you." He chuckled.

"I don't appreciate being spoken for, Chief Min," Yoongi's deep voice shook through the room.

Haruki turned his head, expression turning sour.

Yoongi walked into the house, shadows forming harsh lines on his face as something dark flashes across his expression. For a moment, he looked like the exact nightmarish image of what the Moon clan thought of the Min family. Even barefooted steps added a heavy echo in the air that it sent chills down her own spine despite the fact she knew this demeanour wasn't for her intimidation. "You can have your supplies at the border."

Haruki deflated as if letting out a sigh of relief. "I should've gone to you first then, Chief. It seems I expected too much of my silly sister." He gave a triumphant smile to her.

"Of course, she made the mistake of thinking you were far too competent." Yoongi intertwined his fingers together, veined and hardened from training.

Haruki's expression turned again, cheeks reddening. "Excuse me?"

"Don't worry, I won't make that mistake." The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Perhaps we'll have a charity basket at the border."

Haruki stood to his feet quickly, shaking and trembling like a little boy. "You go too far."

"Do I? Because it seems as if you've come here asking for more than the agreed alliance and proceeding to disrespect my wife," Yoongi said. "The way I see it, giving you a charity basket is more mercy than you deserve currently. I suggest you take it quietly."

Haruki had all the inflated confidence their parents bloated into him from childhood. If he was even the slightest bit stupider, he would speak and in a brief second of that stupidity, he almost did. But then he glared at Kiku. "You'd let him talk to your family like that?"

Anger spread through her chest. Now he wanted to be family, when it benefited him. "If only you were true family then perhaps not."

Haruki grimaced, giving a softer glare to Yoongi before turning on his heel and stomping out of the house.

Kiku let out a deep, shaky breath as her spine began to ache from the tension. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her calm again, taking the scent of wood and warmth in her comfortable home. She heard Yoongi moving until she heard his hum right at her ear.

"Quite the unpleasant family you have," Yoongi mused.

Kiku couldn't help but let out a small, saddened chuckle. "Kaito was the only good one."

Yoongi turned and sat down next to her, shoulders pressed.

The heaviness gave Kiku a wave of comfort like the way his breath hit the back of his neck when they slept.

"If he comes again, I'll ask the guards to delegate him to me or my mother," Yoongi said. "There's no need for you to speak to them if you don't want to."

"You won't be burdened by them?" Kiku asked, turning her head and finding his face incredibly close.

"No one should speak like that to you especially not in our own house." Yoongi waved his hand.

Kiku smiled as her heart burst into little butterflies, creating a lump in her throat. She leaned in and pressed a small kiss on his cheek.

Yoongi turned his head just as Kiku was pulling away, their noses brushed against each other. Dark eyes pierced into her, keeping her still in her position even though her body ached for how close they were. Yoongi kissed her lips, shyly at first to help her adjust to the action.

The tantalizing warmth that passed through Kiku pushed her to lean into the kiss, cupping his cheek. Yoongi's hands held onto her lower back pulling her close until she was pressed flush against his chest.

His lips were hot against hers, keeping his grip on her firm but so soft and gentle. Yoongi only broke the kiss for a moment as Kiku caught a deep breath before pressing her lips again. She gripped onto the fabric of his shirt until Yoongi pulled her enough for her to straddle him completely.

Yoongi held her face in his hand, pausing their kiss again to move his lips down to her neck and jawline. Every ache that she felt from her encounter with Haruki melted away at his touch. He pulled at the pins of her hair, letting it fall down the trail of her back. His fingers traced the length of her spine, making her shiver. Tongue grazed over the soft spot on her neck as her hips began to sway against his own.

Yoongi let out a small groan, lifting his head up. His chest heaved in desperation, gripping onto her hair and keeping their foreheads pressed together.

Kiku reached in again but Yoongi kept her in place.

"Are you sure?" Yoongi asked in a rasped voice that made her tremble.

Kiku nodded. "I'm sure." She reached in and kissed him again, deeper and pleading to ensure he knew this was what she wanted.

But a knock on the door startled them.

Yoongi let out a small, frustrated sigh. "What is it?" he asked.

Kiku got off his lap slowly with a clear of her throat, trying to fix her hair as the door opened to a servant.

"Sorry, sire. Your mother needs your audience for something." The servant kept their head bowed as if already knowing the position he could've caught them in.

Yoongi turned and gave Kiku a soft look.

Kiku gave a reassuring smile, patting his arm before he got to his feet and walked away. Leaving her heart pounding manically.

Another week passed since their kiss. Yoongi wasn't distant necessarily but it did feel like nothing changed. Kiku wondered perhaps he didn't enjoy it. He was the Chief and had many choices of his own. Kiku was an alliance marriage. Any affection that they developed may have just been a spur of the moment as they lived under the same roof. Despite all the explanations she's made in her head, it still twinged something in Kiku. With the kindness received from Yoongis family, she imagined that something would be wrong. She traded a kinder family for a husband that didn't quite enjoy her affection. She'd take it though.

This morning, the family sat around the table for breakfast. Yoongi gave her a glance here and there but it was still distant. Kiku tried to smile back but he immediately looked away.

"So Kiku has been immensely calm these past few days," Yun said, a smirk playing on her lips. "Ma says it's often a sign of...something on the way." Her eyes flickered down to gesture to her stomach.

Kiku's cheeks burned, stammering. "No, it's not that." She shook her head. "I had my bleeding." She couldn't quite hide the slight disappointment in her tone. Kiku never thought about children especially with the experiences she had with her own family. But something about the silence from Yoongi made grasp at unnecessary desires of children or anything to melt off the ice between them.

Yun hummed, pouting. "That's a shame, I wanted nieces and nephews." She poked at her food, the light breeze making strands of her dark hair dance.

"Don't pressure them," Nari said, her tone serious. "They need to be relaxed when they do it."

"Girls, quiet." Hwayoung narrowed her gaze, letting out a defeated sigh. "Don't listen to them." She smiled. "These things take time."

Yoongi stayed silent and Kiku herself couldn't find anything to say but give a reassuring smile. Even though she worried Yoongi won't come near her a second time.

Kiku played her Koto in the afternoon while Yoongi was out supervising the patrol. Usually it would take him till evening to come back. But today he came in early, stomping and breathing out with frustration. A strange sight from someone who was so calm. Raven black hair glistened from sweat, patches of dust latched onto his skin and his jaw terribly tightened as if it might make break his teeth.

Strangely enough, it was relieving to see some emotion in Yoongi after all the distance. Kiku stood from the Koto. "What's wrong?" She asked gently.

"Your damn brother," he seethed. "His men attacked one of my scouts." Yoongi poured water into a goblet and chugged it.

Kiku's heart dropped. "What?"

"Apparently they'd been disturbing the peace. But they didn't plan for me to come." His scar looked deeper and darker when he was angry. "Mother was weary about them for a while but I didn't think they'd stoop to petty little violence."

Kiku lowered her head, almost in shame. Even though she felt more connected to Yoongi's family, her name and identity was still attached to the people she grew up with. It was embarrassing seeing others witness the pettiness that she endured her whole life. The same pettiness that Kaito hated. "I'm sorry," she said.

Yoongi stilled for a moment, dark brows furrowed as he turned to Kiku. "Why're you apologizing?"

Kiku stammered. "It's my family. They're like this, our parents made you all seem like monsters and Haruki would do anything to make himself feel like father would be proud." She shook her head.

"Well, that's their mistake, not yours." Yoongi spoke under her breath but Kiku clung to every word and kept it close to her chest.

She reached out and touched his arm. "Is there anything I can do?"

Yoongi stared at her deeply and so long that Kiku felt like layers of her soul were being peeled. Then he broke the gaze and tried to walk back to their bedroom. "No, it's okay."

Kiku's stomach clenched as once again, the ice began to form. But this time she wasn't going relent quietly. "Yoongi, you don't have to protect my feelings. If this is too much of a burden to you then I can leave."

Yoongi stopped, looking over his shoulder to her. The expression on his face, harsh. "What?"

Kiku dug her nails into her palms to give herself some form of strength. "I can handle my family, I've lived with them my whole life. But...I don't want you to be married to someone you don't truly want."

Yoongi's throat bobbed up and down. "Is that what you think?"

"I don't know," she spoke honestly. "I just know that you became distant after what happened and I—I'm unsure."

Yoongi fully turned his body around, stepping closer. "If you're unsure, then you talk to me."

"I can't speak my wishes so easily." Kiku's voice lowered as he moved closer until she could catch wafts of the forest from him. "It's not something I'm used to."

Yoongi's expression softened. He rubbed in between his brows. "I'm a little too used to my family just saying what they think." He looked up to her. "I'm sorry. I should've checked on you."

Kiki's stomach felt warm. staying silent for a moment just to ensure what she heard was right. Then she spoke in a small voice. "It's okay."

Yoongi took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers together turning her world into a burst of stars. "I will not make you go back to that place again." He muttered. "I want you here."

"You want me here?" She asked again, just to hear him say it so it could echo inside her whenever darker voices grew too loud.

"Right here. With me." Yoongi tightened his hold. "Will you do that?"

Kiku nodded, a burning behind her eyes. "I will, I promise." She smiled, touching his chest to make herself feel grounded again.

"We still need to deal with your stupid brother," Yoongi said. "He's quickly turning into a pest than an ally."

Kiku could spend years imagining Haruki as this invincible monster, similar to when they were children. But this was real now. Haruki wasn't Kaito. He was stupid and petty even when he tried to hurt her. There were a million ways to get rid of people like that. "I might have an idea."

As Kiku requested, Yoongi organized a meeting at the border between Onyx and Moon territory. A canopy was erected with a floor table where they all sat together. The edge of dawn painted the mountains and tree in a burnished gold and the scent of morning dew was the only comfort in Kiku's pool of anxiety.

She was prepared for this meeting and the decisions entailed but rarely had she spoken up to Haruki before. When Kiku tried, her mother or father would reprimand and punish her.

Even as Haruki walked to the canopy, she felt a prickle of being scolded in a few minutes. But she had push it down. She wasn't Haruki's sister here, she was a Lady of the Onyx Clan. The Chief's wife.

"This pompous meeting surely isn't about the little scuffle between scouts," Haruki said. "It's a bit of harmless fun."

Yoongi stayed silent.

"You brought your wife here too," Haruki looked Kiku up and down, making sure that he used a moniker disconnected to him.

"In regards to your previous demands, we're suggesting some changes in the alliance." Yoongi kept a calm tone even though Kiku saw the tightened grip of his hands.

Haruki chuckled. "If you don't want her anymore, just kick her out." He waved his hand. "One of your servants can have her."

Yoongi narrowed his gaze but kept his neutral expression. "As you commented on our child before, we had an idea on how to strength the bond between clans."

"And how is that?" he asked.

"Since you require our food supplies which we give to you out of kindness, we have a compromise," Yoongi said. "In exchange for our food, any child born from my wife will take the Chiefs title of the Moon clan."

Haruki's brows furrowed as his chest heaved. His glare turned to Kiku. "You put him up to this, didn't you, you bitch?"

"It was a joint decision," Kiku said, maintaining her calm demeanour. She was used to his insults. She wouldn't let it hurt her again.

"I won't agree to this, it's stupid." Haruki winced.

"Very well," Yoongi said. "Then I suggest you get your defences ready."

"What?"

"Your father must've told you how the Onyx Clan works." Yoongi began to muse and there was something... oddly satisfying about the tone. "My wolves haven't been out for a feed in a while."

"You'd attack your ally?" Haruki asked.

"Attacking my scout and disrespecting the Chiefs wife constitutes that you are breaking every rule in the alliance," Yoongi said and Haruki stayed quiet. "Giving you an alternate compromise is a mercy. I suggest you consider it. My soldiers won't care if you're a spoiled Chief who can't carry a sword properly."

Haruki grimaced, chin quivering in frustration. He looked over at Kiku, as if trying to get ready for another insult but he knew it was too late. Kiku was no longer the target to point insults at. One wrong move and Haruki loses his head along with the Moon Clan. This way they can keep their lives. Haruki was stupid but he was still too scared to die. "Fine. I accept your terms."

Yoongi hummed. "Thank you." He stood up and held onto Kiku's hand, helping her to her feet.

"What would've Kaito said about you turning your back on family?" Haruki asked, cutting into her in a place that ached like a thousand knives.

Kiku paused in place, gripping onto Yoongi's hand like her life depended on it as her heart panged in pain. Haruki knew nothing about what Kaito was like. It took her every strength and hope in her body not to throw scalding tea in his face for even insinuating that Kiku would do something to disappoint Kaito. Because Kaito wasn't like that. Kaito understood and listened. Haruki was a fool. Kiku straightened her posture, turned and looked Haruki straight in the eye. "Kaito wouldn't have caused a food shortage in the clan."

Haruki scoffed, pursing his lips together.

"Kaito did his duty, as I am. From where I'm looking, I'm not the one who made father die from disappointment." Kiku felt like a dam burst inside her as she let the words flow but seeing the Haruki's sour and pouty expression made it all worth it.

Kiku was able to breathe easy when they returned to their tent for the night. She walked over to her vanity and her maid immediately began taking pins out of her hair. She watched from the mirror as Yoongi unlatched his sword sheathe of his waist and began to pour himself a drink. The dark furrow of his brows prominent. Kiku raised a hand and smiled at the maid. "A moment, please."

The maid bowed and did as she asked, stepping out of the tent to give them privacy. Kiku took out the rest of the pins so her hair was fully open and relaxed. A dull throb formed on her scalp. She stood and made her way to Yoongi as he leaned forward on the table.

"He can be a lot to tolerate," Kiku said.

Yoongi took in a deep breath to calm himself down. "The way he talks to you, it's like you're complete strangers. Enemies, even."

Kiku swallowed the small lump in her throat. It was always normal to her, seeing the way family treated the one they didn't want with the exception of Kaito. But Yoongi valued family with his life. She could only imagine the kind of shock thrumming through him. "You have a good family. Some don't." She touched his arm. "But sometimes you find a better one."

Yoongi turned his head, his once sharp eyes now softened and sad. "If I've ever made you feel—"

"Not once." Kiku knew it like the breath she took. Yoongi and his family had been nothing but comforting and kind. She reached and pressed her forehead against his. It was almost involuntary but feeling him lean into it was the only answer she needed to keep still.

Yoongi turned his body slowly, letting their chest flush against one another before he leaned and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. His warm hand cupped her cheek softly like she was precious. He pulled away only to press kisses on her cheek and jawline, taking her into an embrace. He buried his face into the crook of her neck where the scent of jasmines wafted in his nose.

Kiku could fall asleep in this embrace. Her body and mind and every bruise in her heart soothed from the loving touch. She traced her fingers across the strands of his hair as if lulling the both of them to dreams. It was difficult to admit it in the past few months with the new changes and confusion. But today for the first time, she could surely say it.

Kiku felt loved.

The meeting had left Kiku and Yoongi tired for the evening. They rested their heads, nestled close as they tried to sleep. Tried was an effort Kiku persisted on as the hours went by. It wasn't quite a terrible night of troubling thoughts but an eagerness. She opened her eyes to see Yoongi with his eyes calmly closed, his lips a little puckered.

Kiku took a moment to watch him, reaching out a little to touch his cheek. He stirred slightly at her touch, but his eyes remained closed, his breathing steady and rhythmic. She pulled away with a defeated sigh, not wanting to wake him up. So she turned around and tried to drift off to sleep again.

It was only a few minutes later then she felt Yoongi shift, moving closer until his chest was pressed right against her back. His arm laid over her body, embracing her from behind. Kiku felt a wave of warmth and comfort wash over her as Yoongi tightened his hold.

"Can't sleep?" Yoongi asked.

Kiku hummed. "A little. It's okay, go back to sleep."

"I can be awake," Yoongis voice rasped as his face buried into the crook of her neck again. He began pressing kissing down the length of her shoulder. "Do you want me to be awake?"

Kiku smiled to herself, swaying her hips against him. "A little."

Yoongi chuckled lightly, the vibrations made her quiver in delight. He made Kiku lay on her back, climbing on top of her and sneaking between her legs. "Are you sure?" He whispered.

Kiku nodded. "I'm sure." She smiled against his lips before pressing a kiss on his bottom lip.

Yoongi kissed down the length of her neck, unravelling his night clothes and pushing up Kikus soft dress. He entered her gently, her snug walls hugging his tip before he kept pushing.

Kiku gripped onto his clothing as the sensation made her tremble under him. She swayed her hips with his movements, encouraging him to move faster. The ache was slight but the tingle of pleasure sent her into a slight dizziness. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

Yoongi brushed his fingers across her hairline, full of affection as he moved deeper inside her. He pressed sweet kisses at the corner of her lips.

Kiku smiled feverishly as the pleasure sent heat through her body, radiating like steam and intoxication.

Yoongi made sure he was slow, not just to be careful but to draw out this intimacy for as long as he could. The feeling of embrace brought back every slight desire he had in the past few months to hold or touch her. "Feel good?"

Kiku nodded, letting out a slight whimper as he continued to move at that tantalizing pace. "Good." She traced her thumb across his cheek. Strands of his hair falling over his face, curtaining over hers. Her core became slick with arousal, creating light squelch sounds as he thrusted into her with a new desperation.

His release clouded him, flooding him with an unbearable warmth until he grind himself into her. He muffled his moan against her neck.

Kiku felt his lower belly press on her sensitive spot, making her clench around him, pushing him further into his climax.

Yoongi lifted himself up, foreheads layered with sweat as they pressed against each other.

Kiku took his lips into a kiss, surging him to thrust into a steady pattern that made her lose breath. She gripped onto the side of his neck as moans broke through any form of whisper.

Yoongi quickened his pace following the pattern of her moans and the rolling of his own release. Then the sweet burst into a ricochet of pleasure and heat.

Kiku smiled, breathless as she relished in the warmth filling her. As Yoongi kept moving, he snuck his head in between her legs, targeting her sensitive spot and pushing her to the edge. Kiku's brows furrowed, aching to reach her own climax as she was full of him. Her breathing turned to quickened whimpers as she squirmed under his touch. Her back arched, head thrown back giving Yoongi the chance to kiss her neck and jawline.

Her climax bloomed, the heat of it shaking her limbs and forcing her legs to shut around him. Yoongi kissed her forehead, still rubbing on that spot until she twitched against it.

Kiku whimpered, pushing his hand away. A small laugh left his lips fuelling her with more delight. It was the most wonderful feeling she had to be embraced like this so warmly and the bliss of pleasure melting her body until she was meshed with the bed itself.

"You feel sleepier now?" Yoongi watched her with his own half-lidded, blissed eyes.

Kiku smiled as her breathing turned slow and calm. "Mhm." She traced her fingers down his cheek. "I think I've officially become your wife."

"Oh?" Yoongi's brow raised. "You weren't before?"

Kiku chuckled, slapping his chest playfully. "I mean we don't have anything to hide anymore."

Yoongi caged her in with his arms, making her feel safe and secure. "No, we don't."

Kiku blinked slowly, her finger moved gently to his scar. "Like this?"

Yoongi's expression softened into a mix of ruminating vulnerability and an old sadness that had been repeatedly reminisced. He lay down next to her, shoulders pressed flush. "My father and I go on small trips every now and then. He used to do it with every child, just to. . .talk, connect with nature and spend time." He waved his hand. "It was strange for Chiefs to do it but he said it was because he never got to speak to his own father. So, he wanted to make sure we weren't. . .without one." He let out a long breath.

"He sounds like a good father," Kiku said.

"He was." Yoongi's dark eyes melted and glossed from emotion. "One day though, bandits were prowling in the place my father and I camped. They attacked us. I got this from one of the bandits." He pointed to the scar. "Before my father told me to run while he fended them off. I called my mother and some guards to help but we were too late."

Kiku shifted and rubbed his chest. "Is that why you train so much?"

Yoongi nodded. "I want to make sure Yeong and the girls know how to defend themselves or others should the need arise." He took a deep breath, playing with Kiku's hair. "But I had a good family. We took care of each other, just like we'll take care of you."

Kiku smiled, resting her chin on his chest. "I'll take care of you all too. I still owe you a massage."

"You gave me a pretty good one a minute ago." Yoongi smirked.

Kiku chuckled. "A proper massage."

Kiku and Yoongi returned to the main houses early in the morning as the soft gold of dawn painted the forest. Hwayoung had lunch prepared with the rest of the family to welcome them home. Fresh steamed fish with tofu, rice porridge and some fresh fruits newly picked from the farms. Kiku ate happily, her appetite had grown in the months she was with this family but it made her all the more energetic and vibrant along with her excitement from the past night's events.

Something the family noticed more than Kiku realised.

Yun, in particular, stared the two of them a little too closely with a smirk. "So how was the trip, brother?" She asked in a sing-song voice.

Yoongi's eyes flickered up as he paused mid-bite. "As most political talks go with a spoiled brat of a Chief. He gave into the deal quickly," he spoke in a slightly formal tone.

Kiku quietly sipped on the last drops of her tea before he gently poured her another cup. She gave him a shy smile.

"I haven't heard much about the prospects of the Chiefs of the Moon clan but the younger son is usually unprepared," Hwayoung said thankfully to distract from what Yun actually wanted to ask.

Yeong stammered just as he took a bite of his food, looking at Hwayoung with a pout. "What'd I do?"

Hwayoung raised her hand. "I mean, generally. Not you."

Yoongi let out a small chuckle under his breath. "She means you."

Yeong sighed, pointing at him with his chopsticks. "I've beaten you in sword training before, I'll do it again."

"Did you do anything else in the trip?" Yun asked, with a wide grin, leaning forward in excitement. "You were both alone for the night. And Kiku's been. . .glowing."

Kiku's cheeks burned, clearing her throat. "I—I don't—"

"You need to stop obsessing over your brother's marriage, sweetheart, it's getting strange." Hwayoung patted the back of Yun's hand.

"It's only because you don't let me get married." Yun leaned back on her chair, folding her arms over her chest.

"Mother's protecting the men of the clan," Nari said, raising a brow.

Yun slapped Nari's arm as Yeong snorted.

"See how they bully me?" Yun asked Kiku.

Kiku chuckled, biting down her bottom lip and glancing at Yoongi. Often when she had terrible encounters with Haruki, she would get scolded by her family and live with the suffocating feeling of frustration in her chest.

Today was the first time, Kiku could cling to the happy moments and forget about Haruki or any of this harsh words. Her family threw her to the Onyx clan like a bait at the end of a fishing line but in their hatred for her, Kiku found love for her own.

masterlist

#yoongi #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #yoongi fanfic #yoongi imagines #yoongi fanfiction #bts arranged marriage au #bts x oc #yoongi x oc

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yazthebookish · 6 days

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Why an Elucien rejected bond storyline would be boring

Years ago Sarah briefly discussed Elain and Lucien's mating bond, she changed her plans from having Nesta as Lucien's mate to Elain since she saw there is a great deal of tension, growth and healing to be found for both of them (together).

In my opinion, we are currently seeing them go through the tension stage where there is this distance and strain on both of them due to recent events. Lucien was sexually assaulted by Ianthe and he is settled in the human lands to support Vassa and Jurian. While Elain has to mourn her human life and also the rejection of Graysen (who used the bond against her) + she also grieved her father. It's pretty reasonable for her to feel that resentment and hostility towards the existence of her mating bond with Lucien.

Part 1: As of ACOSF, does Lucien want Elain or did he move on to Vassa?

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian's heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

I won't make this part long because it's right there in the text. His longing. He still longs for Elain. He still tries. If he is so occupied and in love with Vassa, what is he doing spending Winter Solstice at Velaris to give his mate a gift instead of the woman he apparently "loves".

"But he lives with Vassa!"

The concept of friends sharing a house does not necessarily mean they're all hooking up, unless Lucien's comment on Vassa and Jurian liking to be at each other's throats is to be taken literal (and he's the third wheel in that scenario). I firmly believe Vassa and Jurian would end up together.

It's clear Lucien has eyes for one female only and that's his mate.

Part 2: Lucien doesn't want the bond and he can't stand it

And that's when arguments are formed based on out of context quotes, because context always matters to get the full picture.

But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda. Jesminda had been all laughter and mischief, too wild and free to be contained by the country life that she’d been born into. She had teased him, taunted him—seduced him so thoroughly that he hadn’t wanted anything but her. She’d seen him not as a High Lord’s seventh son, but as a male. Had loved him without question, without hesitation. She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him.

Is it not valid for him to feel conflicted about this entire situation because he is still processing the fact that the female who he fell in love with, who had chosen him, saw him, and accepted all of him, who was beheaded because she loved him, is not his mate? but this stranger is? He is trying to make sense of it. He doesn't know Elain yet.

Looking at her now … She was pale, yes. The vacancy still glazing her features. But he couldn’t breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He’d said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the sense chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate.

His feelings and thoughts and instincts are all clashing at once. That is much evident in this entire scene.

"I can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes. I can't stand to be in this court and have your mate pay for the very clothes on my back."

This is often taken out of context to point out that Lucien doesn't want the mating bond or he can't stand to be around Elain. As a mated male, it's overwhelming for him to be around her because his instincts clash and he has to keep himself grounded around her. He doesn't know yet how to approach her or what she expects of him. It's extremely awkward and he can't stand it because he still didn't find a common ground with her.

Using this quote to imply he doesn't like her or stand her is absolutely false within the narrative.

I think so. It wasn't just about what he thought—it was the ... feeling. I sensed no ill will, no conniving. Only concern for her. And ... sorrow. Longing.

Part 3: Lucien is responsible for her trauma

Hard disagree on this one.

Even canon points out that the one who told the King of Hybern about Feyre's sisters was none other than Ianthe. This is not to defend Tamlin because he gave her an opening to do whatever she liked and did not hold her accountable in ACOWAR.

Now about Lucien, what power did he have over Tamlin's decisions when we have seen that despite being his friend, there is a power imbalance and Tamlin does lash out at Lucien. Lucien is not a character without flaws, but neither Feyre nor Nesta ever blamed Lucien. Even when Elain says to his face that he betrayed them, Lucien immediately says it was a mistake. He doesn't try to absolve his role in it or explain his actions to her, he calls it as it is.

I disagree with the statement that he is responsible for her trauma, Lucien was nothing but a spectator.

"But, but, he yelled at her and announced that they were mates!"

Cassian again stirred—trying to rise, to answer Nesta’s voice as she held my sister and cried her name again and again. But Elain was staring over Nesta’s shoulder. At Lucien—whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one eye of russet and one of metal. Nesta was still weeping, still raging, still inspecting Elain— Lucien’s hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.”

Right. He yelled at her.

Great reading comprehension.

And it's like we forgot when Rhys said the moment the bond snapped between him and Feyre, if he stayed a second longer he would've damned the consequences and took her with him. As soon as he winnowed back to Velaris the first word he said to Mor after 50 years was "she's my mate".

"Well he shouldn't have said it anyways"

Yeah because it's not like Lucien is a Fae male and the mating bond is something that alters the Fae on a biological level. It overrides their instincts.

Part 4: Elain choosing the mating bond + Lucien will be a disservice to her arc, it won't be a choice unless she chooses Azriel

“but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”

I like that Sarah briefly discussed the topic of a character's agency when it comes to mating bonds because it's something that has long been discussed in the fandom.

However, I disagree that if Elain chose Lucien it's not truly a "choice" because of the mating bond. We have seen with both Feyre and Nesta that they didn't choose to be with Rhys and Cassian simply because of the bond, the mating bond was just the cherry on top—they loved their mates for who they were.

"Elain's entire journey will be about choice"

Isn't she already making a choice? Isnt she choosing not to pursue the bond? Isnt she choosing to ignore the bond? Isn't she choosing to not reject it? Isn't she choosing how she is living her life in Velaris? Isn't she choosing how she spends her time? Isnt she choosing to garden and help other gardens in Velaris? And I can go on.

Neither Elain or Lucien had a choice in being mated to each other, but the notion that the mating bond left her with no agency over her life is partially incorrect because she is making choices. Yes, the mating does in a way take some of Elain's agency and Lucien's agency since it's something that alters them on a soul-level, but Lucien's agency is often removed from this conversation.

Currently, the ball is in Elain's court and not Lucien's. She currently has the choice of accepting or rejecting the bond.

And in my opinion, "choice" is a theme that is incorporated in the journeys of all the characters, it's not exclusive to Elain. I don't think "choice" is the core of her story because I think Elain's journey should focus on breaking out of the docile and gentle sister mold (not that she stops being gentle, but stopping others from infantilizing her), finding where she truly belongs, realizing who her true found family are, discovering the world (a trip to the continent let's go!).

Part 5: Azriel (warning: controversial)

This will be a bit of a hot topic but I'll do my best to keep it short (it really isn't).

This kind of follows Part 4, but I will tell you why Azriel isn't a "great" choice for Elain.

Yes, they had a sweet companionship and a friendship and that is usually a good foundation for a relationship, but to me there wasn't anything solid or deeper then that. We have to *assume* they had moments off-page, but we also know that they're not spending time together and Azriel confirmed this. So am I going to wait for chapters of flashbacks after flashbacks to see that build up from the past?

Before anyone jumps the gun, I am a hardcore Gwynriel and a hardcore Azriel fan and I fully understand and accept that Azriel is a flawed character who carries so much self-loath. I dont like him with Elain because I believe it's an unhealthy dynamic compared to how lighter and more open he is around Gwyn and this is not something against Elain, it's more tied to how Azriel perceives the logic of 3 sisters + 3 brothers. Dynamics matter and makes a difference between couples because e.g., Chaol and Yrene worked better than Chaol and Celaena. Mismatched pairings exist but it doesn't mean the characters involved wouldn't work out with others.

So how is the male that centered himself in his entire conversation with Rhys instead of prioritizing what Elain wants, is the ultimate choice?

He argued that the Cauldron was wrong because he didn't get the "third" sister while his brothers got her other sisters, and at this point we know Elain is not interested in a mating bond. If she is attracted to Azriel, it has nothing to do with wanting a bond with him because we know how she feels about it but it's Azriel who wants to center the mating bond in it.

So does that mean the relationship from Azriel's perspective wouldn't be complete without a mating bond? Then why is he arguing about this? Wouldn't it be more romantic for him to say I don't care if she is mated or not, I want her for her—but that's not the case here.

Notice that it's Azriel having these discussions about mating bonds and not Lucien who is her mate. and I promise you if it was Lucine having this exact discussion with Rhys, the entire fandom would drag him to no end.

Back to Azriel, so he also says that he hadn't gotten that far with his planning certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to + and said Lucien is not good enough for her and she has not interest in him anyways. Again, he is speaking for Elain when we know one of the big problems surrounding Elain is how others speak for her and assume what she needs. If she doesn't want the mating bond, that's her speech and not Azriel's. I still don't get how people were fine with him speaking for her and I'm not even the biggest Elain fan.

Last but not least, he also was against her scrying despite publicly declaring that no one decides what she can or cannot do and wants to help. Is this truly the "ultimate choice" for Elain? But Lucien's only crime is being mated to her?

Part 6: finally, why Elain and Lucien rejecting the mating bond would be bad storytelling.

So we know that a bond can be rejected, only weakened but it will always exist.

"Elain would have our full protection if she rejects the bond. But it will still be a bond, however weakened, that will trail her for the rest of her existence."

"But he'd know if Nesta were dead. In his heart, his soul, he'd sense it. Would feel it. A mate always did. Even if she'd rejected that bond."

1. There isn't enough time to explore a rejection:

It seems there isn't a ritual or a tradition we are told of about a mating bond rejection, if the female doesn't want it then that's that but it does have a worse impact on males.

As of ACOSF, it's evident Lucien still longs for Elain even if they are distant or occasionally see each other. We know Elain resents the bond but we still don't have her POV to really know what she thinks of Lucien.

What do we get out of a rejected bond with Elain and Lucien? That she just doesn't want him and can say "no"? That she finally has a choice? Even though she is making choices as of the current canon to not explore the mating bond or do anything? I gave examples in Part 4.

And then what? Lucien moved on to Vassa or another female in the next book? That despite a rejection being devastating he's all cool and moved on within months.

No stakes. No challenges. No reprecussions. No consequences. Nothing interesting.

"But it's proof that not every mated pairing works" that would be interesting if we had enough time to discover that but not with two characters that barely spoke to each other and readers have no clue to what kind of dynamic they have.

A rejected mating bond would not be a good story to tell because there wasn't much there to begin with. It's underwhelming.

"I don't want it" "okay cool see you around" < and that's it? Groundbreaking.

"It's a big factor to play into a forbidden romance because Rhys is the obstacle here" easily resolved with one word from Elain and Rhys is removed.

I think Elain and Lucien's mating bond would still be interesting to read about because we never had a mated pairing that knew they were mates but weren't in love yet.

It's giving an arranged marriage trope and the best part about arranged marriage is when the spouses get to know to each other better, they fall harder—I think the tension between Eain and Lucien would be quite delicious and fun to read about as they tip toe around each other and the mating bond.

2. Parallel journeys:

I like what Mor said in ACOFAS and it makes complete sense since it reaffirms that both Elain and Lucien are going on parallel journeys:

Mor drank deeply from her glass. "Stay out of She's not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings."

I lifted a brow. "Snoop."

Mor leaned back against the steps, utterly un-repentant. "Let him live with his Band of Exiles. Let him deal with Tamlin in his own way. Let him figure out where he wants to be. Who he wants to be. The same goes with her."

3. Promised HEAs:

SJM already stated that each book going forward will follow different pairings and by the end of their book they'll get their HEA. That's the standard traditional romance formula.

A mate rejection, especially in standalone books, are miserable. Not enough time is given to navigate through it or move on and it also sets an unrealistic and cheap outcome that the other mate could easily move on from the soul-level rejection. No, that doesn't entitle a mate to force their other mate to accept the bond because it would affect them personally, it's just something I think that needs more than a book to discover through the POVs of the characters involved.

This is why a mate rejection is a very rare and an unpopular trope in fiction. There was a temporary mate rejection in the Zodiac Academy series that scarred the ZA fandom because it's depressing.

You have Fated Mates authors like Kresley Cole who published around 21 books with each book including the Fate Mate trope. That's one of ACOTAR's trademark.

Till this day, every SJM character that found out about the mating bond ended up with their mate one way or another. It's an SJM trademark at this point.

4. Then which rejected bond would Sarah explore?

In my opinion, the true rejected bond story that would be extremely emotional, tragic and powerful is the story of Helion and Lady of Autumn.

What they had is the definition of a forbidden romance. Lady of Autumn was married to a High Lord from her Court and Helion wasn't even a High Lord of the Day Court then.

The stakes are extremely high they could've triggered a war between Day Court and Autumn Court. Even though a mating bond triumphs marriage, Lady of Autumn still has children with Beron. She chose her children over her mate in the end. She had to reject the bond because everything stood against them.

While this is currently theoretical but it's strongly pointed at in canon that they're mates.

This makes for a better story of a Rejected Mating Bond because enough time passed to see what were the repercussions, the consequences of their actions and how they both suffered. Do they find their way back to each other in the end or does one of them for whatever reason loses their life? Did Helion have to seek other people to distract him from not being with his mate and her not choosing him? Did their bond weaken?

Conclusion:

I didn't expect this to be long but I hope you enjoyed reading this "essay". The rejected mates storyline is controversial and so many readers feel strongly about it. Everything here reflects my own thoughts and why I think a Rejected Mating bond wouldn't be an interesting one to discover with Elain and Lucien.

I deserve another cup of coffee and on my way to get me one haha. I apologize for any typos in advance.

#elucien

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xxsabitoxx · 2 years

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「 The Fourth Wife 」

Tengen & Wives x Reader

Note: People imagine Uzui’s fourth wife being someone from the demon slayer corps, but hear me out. Tengen’s fourth wife comes from the entertainment district

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　

Tengen is use to receiving letters just about every other day at the start of his entertainment district stakeout. Once he gets some ground rules set with Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma, letters are to be expected once a week unless something major is to occur. For the sake of keeping up appearances, Tengen will only watch from afar. It was a meticulous plan that all three of his wives followed dutifully. That is… until you popped into the picture.

You were popular in Suma’s house, not quite an Oiran but well on your way to obtaining that title. Suma quickly took an interest in you. Of course she still cared greatly for Tengen’s mission… but you were something she simply couldn’t ignore. Tengen’s letters now included little paragraphs about you, usually at the end, and of course Tengen read all of them. The more Suma got to know you, the more she included about you in her letters. Tengen found himself slowly falling in love with a woman he hadn’t even laid his eyes on.

Suma got closer with you as time passed on. Learning about how you longed to leave the district, even if meant sneaking away before you paid back your debt. You complained to Suma that no one had gone as far as to offer you a way out, that you were starting to feel utterly hopeless. Suma, after some words of encouragement, rushed off to write a letter to Tengen. Said letter was begging the man to come visit her house and request to see you. She wanted you, couldn’t see herself leaving the entertainment district without you, Tengen was the key.

Tengen agreed pretty easily, the curiosity of seeing you in person was beginning to eat him alive. So, he showed up the following night after receiving the letter. He told Suma not to tell you anything, that he was just a customer that wanted to talk to a pretty lady. If he liked you, if he felt the same way talking to you that he did reading about you in her letters, he’d discuss things with Hinatsuru and Makio. Tengen had never been opposed to a fourth wife if the opportunity presented itself, so long as his wives agreed with the addition.

Tengen took you by surprise, a drool worthy customer requested you? Not Suma? Not any other oiran? You? Suma had watched from a distance, giggling softly at the fact that her and Tengen had switched roles. He was dressed in a maroon kimono, hair down, no jewelry or makeup, Suma rather liked seeing him that way. Tengen winning your heart in an hour flat, simply over a cup of tea. Tengen going as far as to motion Suma into the room, willing to rip of the bandaid then and there.

“So… you two are married…” you blinked, a bit confused at what exactly was going on. “That’s right! Tengen-Sama and I have been married for a while now, he has two other wives as well! Hinatsuru and Makio, both are posing as Oirans in the district as well!”

I’m sure you could imagine the whirlwind that followed. Luckily for them, you were pretty open minded. You had grown equally as fond of Suma as she had of you, the opportunity to get out of the entertainment district was in your grasp. That hopelessness was long gone, instead it was replaced with warm excitement. You hadn’t even met the other two women yet, but you knew you’d be safe if Tengen and Suma had anything to do with it. Things were settled within your first meeting, Tengen making arrangements to come back the following night and pay your debt, so long as you promised them your hand in marriage.

You, of course, accepted those terms.

Tengen did just that, making sure you were far out of the entertainment district by the time the upper moon encounters had occurred. You got to know him day by day, waiting for his arrival home even though it was few and far between. You understood his reasonings for being in the entertainment district were dire, same for his wives. You were patient, eagerly awaiting the day all four of them would return for good. Despite not meeting Makio and Hinatsuru in person just yet, you decided to talk to them through letters, eagerly awaiting the day you’d get to meet them in person.

Your first meeting with Hinatsuru and Makio followed the battle at the entertainment district. It was a chaotic mix of emotions, worry for Tengen’s injuries mixed with the relief that all of them would be okay. On top of that the nerves of finally seeing both women in person, the ache for their approval and affection all while trying to comfort a sobbing Suma. It wasn’t until everything had settled, Suma was asleep on a small cot, Tengen was tended to and finally sleeping, that you sat down and spoke to Makio and Hinatsuru.

“I hoped our first meeting would have been a lot smoother than this.” You sighed, sitting beside Makio while Hinatsuru also tried to get some sleep. The medicine she had been given had helped greatly, but she was still weak. “I’m sorry it wasn’t. But it’s nice to finally put a face to the letters you wrote. You’re a kind soul, y/n.” You didn’t expect Makio to be so sentimental right away, knowing that Suma said Makio was quite good at masking her emotions. “Thank you…” you looked at her in surprise, cheeks warming at the smile she flashed you. “I think you’ll fit in really well with the four of us. Especially now that we’ll be able to live normal lives.”

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dipolardruid · 1 month

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⚠️ TW WARNING⚠️

Yandere, toxic relationship, kidnapping, attempted break up on readers part.

"What...? No, I wasn't trying to, you know I wouldn't do anything like that!" Tina says with a desperate tone as she closes in on you.

You take a step back to create distance, which causes her to look at you with an unreadable expression "yet you knowingly do it, I've told you repeatedly to stop doing things because they make me uncomfortable, Even after that you still do them." At this she seems to look away a couple of times before making eye contact with you.

"I swear it's never on purpose!" Before you're able to respond or do anything, she continues on."I promise I really mean it! It won't happen starting today!" She says in a pleading tone as she lightly scratches and squeezes her fingers.

"You're right it won't happen starting today because I want nothing to do with you." You quickly turn away before Tina can respond to your words. However, you don't get far before you're grabbed by the back of your shirt "Wait stop w-where are you going?"

Pulling away from Tina, she tries to grab you again, which only causes you to become more aggressive in keeping her hands away, which results in Tina becoming more desperate to hold onto you "please don't go! I promise! I promise I'll stop!" The struggle is enough to cause you to trip over your feet, causing both of you to almost fall.

"Will you stop already! Just leave me alone!" At your raised voice, Tina flinches back, her eyes squinted, fist raised to her chest in a self soothing manner, but it seems to have stopped her from trying to grab you again.

At this, you walk away from her and out of her room, looking back every so often to make sure she isn't behind you. While walking towards the front door, you see both Petra and Jake walking towards you. Upon seeing your upset face, Jake puts up his hand to stop you.

"What's wrong?" He tries to make eye contact with you, but you avoid his gaze looking over at the floor."Go ask Tina." You tell him before walking past him and Petra they both take a quick look at each other before Jake speaks up. "I'll go check on Tina. " Petra nods before following behind you.

That day ended with Petra taking you home and Tina's nonstop calling and texting until you had to block her number.

Despite this, the others sat around you during school hours. Petra or Jake may talk to you, but it's mainly Paul who tries to get you to speak to Tina again.

"Come on, you guys had an argument that's all there is to it. What's the big deal?" He says he says wrapping his arm around your shoulder. However, upon trying to move out of his grip, he tightens his forearm around your collarbone, keeping you in place "ok how about this you just come over you don't have to make small talk with her or anything but just be around like before" you look at him to reject but before you can he speaks up "please..." he says pleadingly.

You don't know why you accepted, you never should've, it would've been better to just take the guilt and walk away from him, to ask for help if he refused to let you go yet you didn't.

Now, here you were watching your face plastered on the screen as your parents beg for your safe return, promising all that they have and more. At this, everything begins to blur as a sob escapes your throat.

"Why...?" Is all that you could muster before the tightness in your throat becomes too much for you to continue talking.

Tina sits beside you, stroking your back. "You tried to leave, I would've handled this better if you listened to everyone else about just coming back, but you wanted to be stubborn about it"

You wanted nothing more than to smack her away and yell, but you knew the consequences of that. You lost count of all the things she's done to you after some time. Things were bearable if you simply let it happen instead of constantly fighting back.

"It's ok...it's ok, come here, no more crying. I don't like it when you cry." Tina says, pulling you closer to herself, your head on her chest.

"They're still looking for me....you can't keep me here forever, tina." You say between breaths as you try to catch your breath. "Really? I would say otherwise, the news has stopped talking about you, your disappearance came and went as everything else does, your parents... let's say they aren't a worry." Tina strokes your head as she says this.

At this you feel you feel your body stiffen and your breath catch in your throat.

As you're about to question her, Tina runs her thumb over your lips before speaking, "That's enough for today. It's late, so let's get you ready for bed." At this, you go to speak up only to be met with Tina's side glance, causing you to keep your mouth shut.

You hate it. You hate the way you fear her. The way your body tenses up as she tucks you into bed and smooths the blanket around you, yet you can't help but let it happen even if you did fight back, you're just a human. Physically, you could stand a chance. However, if she decided to use her power, you'd be on the floor clutching your ears in pain, not only that it'd alert everyone in the house along with the others.

So as much as you want to shove past her as she walks out that door, all you can do is lay in this bed watching her back as she walks out able to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

"One more thing." This causes you to look over at her " I love you, Goodnight"

You don't want to say it but you have to yet everytime you do it feels as if you're about to vomit. "Y/N" This causes you to flinch your head back as she says your name with a warning edge to it.

"I-I love you too..."

Request are open!

#yandere #yandere oc #my oc character #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #female yandere x reader #yandere mutants #female yandere #yandere female oc #Tina

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starsreminisce · 6 months

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Every once in a while, there is some comment that suggests Elain and Lucien's mating bond is off or fake. I actually argue quite the opposite, and I think Lucien is intuitively attuned to Elain's emotions, and their bond is the strongest between the three sisters. I also think that when Elain is not doing well, Lucien starts showing up more.

This makes his appearance during ACOSF solstice even more interesting to me, given that he was absent for ACOSAF's solstice, both of them declaring that they can't stand to be around each other.

Feysand's bond is mental, Nessian's bond is physical, and Elucien's bond is emotional. I also think this manifests in how each of the sisters pushed away from their mate: Feyre thinking she should still be with Tamlin, Nesta randomly hooking up with random males. I also think it's how their mate helped their respective partner heal. Feyre and Nesta are similar in that both don't want to be weak or helpless anymore, but the end of their healing was marked differently. Feyre's was marked when she secured the Ouroboros with a message that suggests the mental power needed with a statement like "Only you can decide what breaks you," and Nesta's was marked by the Blood Rite.

We can go through the end of ACOMAF and the parts in ACOWAR where Lucien has been the only one advocating for Elain and just knowing what she needs while giving enough distance to prevent overwhelming her.

The part that sticks out to me was when Lucien decided to find Vassa, and he specifically said that "I’m not needed here. I’ll fight if you need me to." They were left alone for the first time, Elain wanted to stop him but she didn't, and he left to fulfill her prophecy.

The next scenes we had Elain enjoying herself to make bread (an act associated with accepting the bond, just saying), Elain speaking up to use her to convince Graysen to do something for the humans, we find out that Lucien is the heir to the Day Court (fulfilling Elain's need for sunshine), Elain's “His name is Lucien."

When was the next time we saw Lucien and Elain together? After Hybern had been defeated, and he came running to her, spying the blood on her hands and asking if she was okay, then offering his condolences and then his praise. I also have to remind y'all that Azriel saw her first and said nothing when she forced Truth-Teller back to him. In his bonus chapter, he didn't have a thought in regards to this either.

In ACOSAF, people also ignore that Lucien tried to be there for Elain, and she was "too polite" to turn him away until he got the hint and left. What stood out to me, though, was during the Solstice, it was Lucien who told Elain not to be troubled because he wouldn't be staying for long, and it was Lucien who turned down Feyre's invitation to both stay for the festivities and stay in Velaris for two weeks to "get to know Elain" before announcing that he would be moving in with Jurian and Vassa. Elain was in a pretty good place at this point in time.

However, in ACOSF, we get this little nugget:

But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

On top of that, Elain and Nesta became estranged, Azriel pulling back his interactions with her, her being denied to search for the trove or being prevented from doing more than just tending to her little garden.

Is it a coincidence that Elain insisted on attending the Hewn City Solstice, knowing that its cruelty bothered her, was described as wearing pearl barrettes, and then the following day, Lucien was at the Inner Circle solstice, seemingly recanting his stance of not being able to stand to be around her for two minutes and his present of pearl earrings.

I don't think it's meant to be cruel on his behalf, considering he tried to hide his disappointment from her reaction upon receiving his present, but I do wonder if it's meant to be a statement that he sees what she's trying to do and trying to be as supportive as he could while still allowing her to dictate how their interactions would go.

Some people demand two extremities: either he is around too much or he doesn't care enough to try, but they fail to see how perfectly middle-ground Lucien is being. He is still accessible for her while allowing her to choose if she wants to interact with him.

ACOSAF Solstice = Elain happy and excited over cooking for everyone = Lucien saying he is not staying.

ACOSF Solstice = Elain pushing back on attending Hewn City, a place that brings her discomfort = Lucien staying for that Solstice.

Elain and Lucien are both capable of voicing out when things bother them, especially towards each other, as seen in ACOSAF, but I don't think if Lucien knew he was not wanted by her in ACOSAF solstice, he wouldn't have attended ACOSF solstice. He also would not have attended the Starfall in the later months, especially if there had been secret progress between her and Azriel.

Rhys came to Feyre's aid when she called for help mentally as she walked down the aisle, Cassian came to Nesta's aid when she was physically at her weakest, so it makes me wonder if Elain is approaching an emotional tipping point where she can't keep pretending that everything is fine when she sees both her sisters successfully moved on from their trauma because of help from their mates, Nesta especially.

We also have to acknowledge that the scent of their bond is strong a year later. I wonder if this manifested with Cassian asking Lucien where Elain was when he visited their training and Nesta calling Elain a wrench for staying far away from him as confirmation they too smell it. I would go so far as to wonder if that's why Rhys specifically brought up that Lucien has a right to the blood duel to Azriel because he smelled their bond. The only person that smell mattered to is Azriel.

So yeah, all in all, if SJM wanted to continue the train that Elain would reject the bond, she would have made other choices in ACOSF, starting with Vassa's development, Cassian's observations that Lucien is adamant about not being in Velaris, Elain trying to get closer to Azriel, Nesta flat out saying that it was Elain that Azriel was pining over by the fire, and it would have continued after Solstice where Azriel and Elain nearly kissed.

Instead, SJM chose to make their only interaction with that Lucien still looks at Elain with longing and Elain's bravado disappearing when he did.

#elucien #pro elucien #elain x lucien #elucien theory

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diamondperfumes · 9 months

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It's incredibly harrowing that so many ASOIAF fans gleefully want to distance Daenerys from her house and family, while simultaneously arguing that she has to die because she's the last of her line, and stubbornly surviving. Taking thrill in her having access to her eggs because Elissa Farman betrayed Rhaena Targaryen, calling her the "antithesis" of House Targaryen, etc.

Meanwhile, what saved Daenerys from suicide due to nightly rape was her dragon dream; what comforted her when she was abused by Viserys, and physically suffering from the miscarriage Mirri forced on her (an act that the fandom celebrates––a forced miscarriage unto a 14-year-old is acceptable so long as you preface that she's white, has silver hair, and is a Targaryen) was her dragon eggs; and what shields her from continued sexual exploitation, at minimum (though she does continue to suffer from it, see: Hizdahr who rapes her), are her dragons.

Yet in as much as she's allegedly the "antithesis" of her house for some people (for the typical anti she is very much the "embodiment" of her house, which is used to portray her as villainous), it's also not enough, because she's still alive. So long as she's alive, she technically bears that pesky Targaryen name, the obvious Targaryen appearance, and those damnably real, tangible, powerful dragons. House Targaryen has a hope for real revival so long as she lives and so long as her dragons live. No matter how people distance her from her house, the same people can't escape from that reality.

Thus the solution: she's the "antithesis," so she'll willingly be a corpse for the rest of humanity to walk over, and this is good and necessary because by dying, she'll cleanse herself of the sin of her blood, family, heritage, name, and magical femininity.

No other character is distanced from their own family and heritage like this. Acknowledging the complex relationship the other POV characters have with their names, identities, and heritage, while affirming their relationships with their familial legacies, is absolutely normal for the rest of the POV characters. Only Dany is both not allowed to take solace and strength from her family, and resemble its qualities, and be damned, irredeemable, and unfit to survive and thrive, because of her name and family.

#daenerys targaryen #canondany #my discourse #meta #asoiaf meta #asoiaf #rape tw

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writingintheshadowsforever · 1 year

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Shuri x Reader Fatal Touch Part 1

Summary: You and Shuri are in love with each other but for unknown reasons to her. You refuse to give into love and truly be with her

Word count: 4-5k.

Warnings: Angst

You fell for Shuri the second you laid eyes on her.

She fell for you the second she laid eyes on you.

There was never any doubt in either of your hearts that the two of you didn't belong together. So then exactly why weren't you and Shuri together yet? Why were the two of you still tiptoeing around each other and the conservation, playing the will they or won't they game.

It didn't make any sense to anyone but no one was more frustrated with the complications of the relationship than Shuri herself. If it was up to the Princess alone the two of you would've been together a long time ago. Shuri had made many advances towards you in the past. At first they were just innocence and you really didn't take them serious. After all she was only sixteen at the time, so it made it easier for you to write them off as jokes. Even though deep down both of you knew her feelings for you were real and genuine from the start. At that age you were still trying to convince yourself what you felt for her was just puppy love, and the emotions were going to fade away in time. If only things could be that easy.

The older Shuri got the more obvious she became with her intentions. The Princess knew what she wanted, and she was sure of your feelings for her. All the late night conservations when you stayed with her while she worked in the lab. Despite the fact that science wasn't your specialty, as a matter of fact you hated science. You were no where near her level of intellect, and all her nerdy talk truly just confused you most of the time, and whenever she asked for your assistance with a project. You would throw your head back with groan in complete annoyance, but she noticed the ghost of the smile on your face. Not to mention how your eyes lit up with joy knowing she needed you for something. You always told her that if she ever needed a lab rat. You were her girl.

While Okoye and her mother would argue with Shuri, and try to force her out of her lab. You just waited into she overworked herself, and the need for sleep finally got the better of her. Your arms already positioned to catch her before she could fall or slump over. The next morning the Princess would awaken in her bed under the covers, and roll over to see you resting on the velvet sofa in her room. At some point Shuri just insisted that you sleep in the bed with her. If you were going to spend the night in her room, and you complied but not without making sure. There was considerable distance between both of your bodies.

It was always you keeping her at arms length, and barely acknowledging her declarations of love. It infuriated Shuri to no end, and she wanted nothing more than to scream at you, demand that you fight for her, and love her the way she loved you. But she knew doing such a thing would only drive you further away from her. Because in the past whenever Shuri pushed too hard on the subject of the two of you becoming more. You would disappear from her life for a few days taking up odd missions. The first time it happened she tried to reach you through your kimoyo beads, but those were always left behind on your nightstand.

After going through that a few times Shuri decided it was best to just leave it alone, and accept you and her would never be more. She'd rather have you in her life as a friend rather than not have you at all. Shuri became terrified that one day you would leave for good.

Knowing you loved her just as much as she loved you was enough. At least that's what she was to keep telling herself.

"Hey Shuri you want to come out with us tonight? Bast knows you could use the break with how much you work" One of her scientist's said.

You watched from the platform above as the group of young scientists hovered a few feet from from Shuri. You really missed the days where the lab was filled with people that were usually a little bit older, and therefore less flirty when it came to Shuri. In the past Shuri was always the youngest person in the lab, but over the past three years or so. The Princess started hiring scientists younger and younger until now a fair share of them were now in the same age range as both of you.

Of course some of them were attracted to the Princess, how could they not be. Shuri was perfect in every way, beauty unmatched, brilliant mind, great personality with a sense of humor, and a perfect body.

"No you guys can go ahead I got way too much to do to party" Shuri told them not even bothering to look away from the screen. She was currently drawing circles on around equations.

You smirked hearing the disappointed sigh escape the girl's lips, but then another girl stepped forward. You knew this girl well she had a history of being pretty persistent, and in your opinion downright disrespectful.

Her name was Aamina.

You hated her guts and the only reason you hadn't socked her yet was because. You didn't want to deal with the consequences, or the conversation with Shuri afterwards.

"No clubs then Princess we'll hit a few bars, and I'll even buy you a drink" she proposed with a confident smile.

Shuri turned away from her screen cocking her to the side as if she was really considering. You knew in her mind she was wondering where you were. This was usually the part where you would come dropping in with your stare of intimidation. But for once you waited to see if she would actually give in. You crouched down studying her body language just in case she got agitated. The Princess had became really good with concealing her emotions, since her brother's death. Only those closest to her were able to pick up the subtle hints she gave away.

"Its quite a tempting offer Aamina, but I'm afraid my answer is still no." Shuri said with an apologetic tone.

"So a raincheck because this is like the third time you've turned me down Princess" Aamina replied. The girl was bold enough to take a few steps forward.

Without hesitation you stepped off the platform into a fifteen foot drop landing right between Shuri and Aamina. Your legs bending slightly as your feet made contact with the floor. She fell back at your sudden appearance eyes widening in shock. The rest of the group gazes drifted upward to judge the distance of your drop. Probably trying to calculate rather or not the leap was feasible, and should you be standing upright.

"Three times and yet you still keep trying Amira. I thought the third time was supposed to the charm" You said with a light chuckle.

My name is Aamina and you know that y/n" she sneered.

"Oh is it now my bad I keep forgetting Amira is the smarter and prettier one." You shot back shrugging your shoulders. Not letting her change in attitude faze you at all. If it came down to it she was no match for you in a fight. "Or maybe I was just trying to throw a complement your way. I mean after all being compared to her can't be a bad thing for someone as unplea-"

"Watch it y/n you might be stronger but that doesn't make you any less of a dummy" Aamina whispered stepping forward again. The close proximity meant you alone heard her words, but your body stiffened at the insult.

Shuri knew there were very few insults that could get under your skin, and placed the stylus down on her worktable. Knowing that the situation would take a turn for the worse if she didn't interfere. The image of Aamina laid out on the floor unconscious with her trying to pull you away. As her mother, Okoye, and Ayo rushed into the lab at all the commotion filled her mind.

"Alright that's enough Aamina take your colleagues and proceed with your plans. There's no need to wait around distracting those of us who are working" Shuri ordered her.

"What about y/n? She's not working I mean she isn't a Dora or a scientist. What exactly is your place here again?" Aamina questioned her eyes locked onto yours in an intense staring contest.

If she had been paying attention she would've noticed the slight movement in your hand. Your fingers curled together forming a tight fist, but a firm hand caught your wrist before you could carryout the motion. It was Shuri and you wouldn't defy her no matter how much this girl made you want to.

"The Princess told you to leave I suggest you leave if you like your job that is" You replied in a cold voice.

Aamina seemed to be thinking on rather or not she was going to heed your warning. Her friends pulling her back ultimately made the decision for her. Once the group had entered the elevator, and it headed upwards. Shuri turned your body around so you were facing her.

"What have I told you about picking fights with my scientists" She chided you softly.

"Hey she started it if the girl had taken no for an answer. I wouldn't have gotten involved."

"Do you think I cannot handle myself?"

You raised an eyebrow at the question. It had to be rhetorical after all you were the one who pulled her into late night combat lessons. "No but you're a Princess and deserved to treated and respected as much. Aamina forgets her place too much."

"And you do not?" she asked but her tone was playful, as was the small smirk forming on her lips.

"Oh please name one time I've ever defied you Shuri" You challenged her.

"Every single time you deny my love. You defy me and yourself" Shuri whispered. Her hand coming up to grip your chin as you tried too look away.

The mood in the room had shifted now from playful too tense. You finally took notice of the little space between your bodies. A tiny step forward would close the gap, her hand gripping your wrist suddenly felt warmer, and thank Bast your blushing wasn't visible on your melanated skin.

"Now the panther has your tongue eh sthandwa" She said in a low voice leaning forward. Her eyes started to shut, and her lips were only a few inches away.

Her curls grazed your forehead bringing you back to life, and you finally found your voice. "You deserve better Princess."

The trance was broken with those words as Shuri came to halt releasing a sigh of frustration. She planted a quick peck on your cheek and stepped back releasing you.

"What's wrong with you y/n?"

"I'm not worthy" You insisted.

"What if I say you are I'm a Princess if I command it then it has to be true right?" She pressed you.

"Shuri we can't" You said in a tone that was final.

She didn't want to let the argument go, she never did but like always Shuri conceded and went back to her work. At one point you heard her mutter under her breath. "How ridiculous it was you believed you had the right to turn her down at every corner, but play the jealous girlfriend at the same time."

Shuri went back to work and you hopped on her workstation getting comfortable. Five hours would pass with you leaving at on the second one to go get food for both of you. Shuri tried to eat just the snacks you brought, but you caged her into your arms, and practically spoon fed her the food. Both of you were laughing the whole time, and your lips ghosted her forehead but failed to make contact. She shivered at the thought of your lips on any part of her body. Heck she would just settle for skin to skin contact with you on any level.

You were dressed in your signature all black clothing. A short sleeved shirt with a hood, black jeans, combat boots, and a pair of black gloves that covered your hands, and the length reached all the way up to your shoulders.

No matter the occasion you always made sure to cover every inch of your skin. The weather itself didn't even deter your fashion choice, Shuri swore you were going to suffer a heatstroke, and pass out. When the two of you took hike once in the mountains to the old rock T'Challa use to go to all the time.

The Princess figured you had some type of skin condition, but getting you to open up about it was nearly impossible. You were guarded at any question aimed towards skin problems almost as much as you were with your feelings. Shuri tried to have Okoye track down your parents when both of you were younger. In an attempt to gain a bit of information your background.

While the General was able too find them neither was to forthcoming with info on their daughter. They seemed frightful when Okoye brought you up, and made her promise you weren't returning home. Okoye swore you were right at home in the palace serving as a private guard to the Princess. Even though you were only a teenager yourself.

Night came and went right when the sun was beginning to peek out to bring morning was. When sleep finally got the best of Shuri, and it had nearly gotten you too. The small thumping sound that practically echoed in the empty lab is what made you shoot up eyes flying open. Shuri was slumped over in the chair with her head resting on the table. You pulled yourself up from your laid out position on the station adjacent to hers, and jumped down.

Shuri slept peacefully as you lifted her into your arms bridal style. She let out a mumble when her body was jostled as you adjusted your hold on her making sure. She was secure before heading off to the elevator. The Doras who were guarding the entrance to the lab didn't so much as blink. When the doors slid open so you could exit with the Princess in your arms. It was a common sight for the palace, and you made the journey to her room undisturbed. After she was placed in bed with the covers draped over her body. You waited until she got more comfortable hugging a pillow to her chest while burying her face into it.

Knowing that she was out like hibernated bear you decided to go to your own chambers for once to rest. Shuri had come way too close to crossing your boundaries earlier, and it was your fault. You were letting the Princess get too comfortable again. It didn't matter how much you wanted her to, and wished too just give in. You couldn't risk it not even for one night.

"Y/N" a familiar voice called out your name.

You closed the door to Shuri's room, and turned around to come face-to-face with Okoye. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her presence, and you raked your brain trying to figure out if you had done anything wrong. In the past couple of days the morning training sessions for the Doras was going to start in a few minutes, but you hardly attended those. The General and Ayo tended to give you private lessons per your request. It was a rule set in stone the day you were accepted into the King's Army, but it was T'Challa who you shared your secret with. In return the future king who at the time only carried the title of Black Panther went out of his way to make you were well accommodated.

"General is something wrong?" You asked trying not to let your voice waver.

Her expression wasn’t guarded or stoic as usual, but she didn't look like she was about to deliver good news either. "I wanted to speak with you about a delicate topic."

Your frown grew even more at her answer. "What topic?"

"Your relationship with Shuri."

"Nothing happened Okoye I promised I was only going to my own room tonight" You whispered. Eyes widening in shock as you realized that you were hardly ever caught leaving Shuri's room this early in the morning. When you exited her room she was always with you. It made sense the General thought something actually took place last night.

"I know and I think that's precisely the problem" Okoye told you.

You were taken back.

Okoye held up a hand in her defense and you motioned for her to continue. "I know its not my place to say this, and both of you might hate for stepping out of line. But someone needs to bring this issue to light."

"What issue?" You asked playing dumb.

Okoye raised an eyebrow with you fighting the urge to scoff at the question. The walls of the palace were solid but not soundproof. The last thing she needed was to wake Shuri from her slumber, and have her come out to investigate. The General didn't usually fear what the Princess was capable of, but you were her soft spot and ever since T'Challa's death. Shuri had become more protective over you in more ways than one.

The discussion she was having with you now was one Nakia tried to have with her just a month ago. The ex-spy had returned to Wakanda for a brief visit, and witnessed the longing in Shuri's eyes whenever she stared at you. While you either training or just distracted with something.

Nakia was surprised to see the two of you hadn't made any progress in your relationship, and Shuri told her you were still on the fence about it. The ex-spy pointed out that maybe it was time for her to move on, and try to be with someone else. Who was willing to give them their all, and not just half of their heart. The Princess turned on Nakia with a fire in her eyes at the suggestion, and made it clear. No one else could possibly take your place, and to drop the subject.

If Shuri wouldn't listen to reason then maybe you would.

"Shuri is in love with you, and both of us know it. For Bast's sake you're in love with just as much if not more. Yet you continue to turn her down no matter what she does, or how long she waits. You will give her everything but your love, and its killing her on the inside y/n." Okoye explained.

You couldn't find the words to tell her how wrong she was, and part of it was because you knew she was right. But at the same time Okoye couldn't be more wrong. You wished that you just blurt out your truth and make her understand. Not giving Shuri your love proved your devotion to her.

"You think you see everything when it comes to Shuri, and she hides nothing from you. That is nothing more than a masquerade of lies she cries to her mother. When you are gone umntwana on your little missions. She comes to me seeking advice on what she can do the next time to make you say yes. Shuri doubts that she will ever be loved, because the one who has held her heart in her hand continues to crush it without remorse."

"That's enough Okoye" You finally snapped not caring to mind the volume of your voice. The General took you by the arm and tugged until you started to follow her. She led you down the hallway, turned a corner, and released you in a deep and empty passage.

"None of what you say is true ndiyamthanda" You insisted with anger in your voice now.

"You have a funny way of showing it" Okoye fired back unfazed by the mood change.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Give her all of you or give her nothing" she stated crossing her arms over her chest.

You stood there in silence for a long time studying Okoye for any sign that she was kidding. She was wearing impenetrable General face which meant she was more than serious with the ultimatum.

"Did Queen Ramonda put you to this?" You asked.

"No while her mother does grow tired of your games, she cares for you as well and believes that remaining patience is the answer. The Queen thinks a day will come where you finally change your mind. I don't think such day is ever going to arrive" Okoye answered. A tone of sympathy in her voice, and her eyes softened a bit as she regarded you. It was obvious this discussion was bringing you a lot of inner turmoil. It wasn't easy to have someone close to you call you out for your harmful treatment with Shuri's feelings.

Okoye knew there was more to the story, and knew you had a honest reason as to why you held back. But what she didn't understand is why didn't you seek out guidance and counsel. Wakanda had no shortage of therapists, and trauma specialists ready to help you on short notice. Maybe this was the push you needed.

"This isn't fair Okoye please don't do this" You pleaded out of options. For once in your life you didn't hold the tears back. They fell free from your eyes cascading down your face like a waterfall. The term "cry me a river" came to your mind. You cry three rivers if that's what it took to make her understand. You would cry an ocean for Shuri.

"Its not fair to who y/n? You or Shuri?" Okoye replied refusing to back down.

"I can't do what you're asking" You cried through gritted teeth balling your hands up into fists. Your eyes made contact with hers trying to find a way in past the steel walls. The woman had built and solidified over years of training and remaining indifferent. "I can't" You repeated harder this time.

"Then let her go."

Those words struck you as hard as a spear piercing right through your beating heart. You swore your heartbeat actually started to slow down at the thought. Her love for you is all the love you had ever known, and the thought of letting it go took you to your knees.

"She won't let you go, and she deserves to someone better y/n" Okoye went on.

You couldn't even argue with that notion because hadn't you declared the same thing yesterday.

"You deserve better Princess"

"I'm not worthy Shuri"

When you uttered those words to Shuri you knew she would reassure that none of it was truth, but now she wasn't here to do that.

"How exactly am I going to do this?" You whispered in defeat keeping your eyes on the floor.

Disbelief shined in Okoye's eyes as she looked down at you. The General was hoping this conservation would be the moment of truth, but you were actually going to choose the latter. "Um just give her space and no more mixed signals. Don't disappear on her completely she will know something is wrong."

"She's going to know something is wrong regardless Okoye, but don't worry I won't tell her it was you who made me see the truth." You climbed to your feet and moved to walk past her.

"Y/N wait I don't under-" Okoye started reaching out to take you by the arm.

You leaned to the side and looked up at her with glossy eyes. "I told you General you can't understand. Akukho mntu unako." Those were your last words to her as you left the passage and headed back to your room.

3 Hours Later

Sleeping was impossible after that conservation you laid in bed for a good hour with eyes closed. Waiting for your mind to shut up and let the darkness take you under. Until the frustration inside grew and spread throughout your entire body. Your nerves became too bad to ignore anymore so, you climbed out of bed to head to a training room.

You were in the middle of beating one of the punching bags into a pulp. Throwing rapid shots, hitting it with a combination of punches and kicks, and just slamming your fists into it as hard as you could manage. It was a miracle the punching bad hadn't spilt out yet letting all the sand come pouring out. You were dead to the world around you, so when someone did enter the your space to tap your shoulder.

Your reflexes too over and you whirled around fist raised to deliver a hard right hook. Whoever it was caught your fist in the palm of their hand and yanked it down to the side. You tried to pull away hissing through gritted teeth, but their grip was too tight. Finally your vision cleared up enough and your mind stopped raging to let you focus. It was Aneka and while usually the woman walked around with joy in her eyes and a smile of mischief on her face. That wasn't the case right now as she looked at you with concerned eyes.

"Y/N are you okay?" She asked a bit hesitant raking her eyes over you.

"Why wouldn't I be?" You snapped not expecting your voice to sound so hoarse. Your hand came up to brush your cheeks. They were wet as your clammy skin but not from sweat. Tears which meant your eyes were probably swollen and red. Just how long had you been crying without realizing it?

"Oh y/n" Aneka whispered in a soft tone, releasing her grip on your fist. She reached out to bring you into her arms, and you almost let her. For a second you closed your eyes and just imagined what it would be like to be able to just collapse in her embrace. Letting her comfort wash over till the pain subsided. It wouldn't last forever but for a while you'd be okay, but then you remembered that hugs were on the no-no list. In the past before you set some many rules in place, and let people hug you. Some of them were dumb enough to touch the back of your neck where your skin was exposed. Sometimes they paid for it, and others didn't. You couldn't take that risk with anyone ever again.

Just as her arms were about to enclose around your body, and pull you into hers. Your eyes snapped open and you recoiled back in panic almost.

"I'm fine Aneka okay just had a nightmare, and I've been missing home lately" You lied smoothly.

But you could tell by the confusion on her face at your actions. Aneka wasn't buying it at all, because why hadn't you just come out and said that in the first place. "Do you want to call your parents? You can do that you know, or just pay them a visit. I'm pretty sure Ayo can persuade Okoye to let you take a couple of days off."

The woman was really making it hard for you not to think about all your troubles in life, and just how helpless you were when it came to doing something about it. Your parents hadn't bothered to call or visit you once since they dropped you off at the palace's doorsteps. On your fourteenth birthday because then you were finally eligible to join the academy for young women. Who wished to start their Dora training early to join the King's Army.

No knew about your non-existent relationship with your parents because you played it off. By writing fake letters and sending them to the address to one of the older ladies. Who use to live in the neighborhood you grew up in, and would bring you over for dinner. When she noticed how your parents started to exclude from events like family dinner, as you got older. You were often tempted to actually check in on the woman knowing that. She was a widow herself, but by now your mind has convinced that. The woman was only acting out of sympathy, and was better off without you. Its not like she ever wrote back.

"No its fine Aneka I'll write to them and send it out tomorrow" You told her waving off her suggestions.

"Y/N you look upset and I want to help is there anything I could do?" she pushed taking your gloved hands in both of hers.

"Yeah you could spar with me real quick I got a lot of steam I need to burn off still." You offered knowing she was going to keep being persistent.

Aneka frowned squeezing your hands. "Do you really think that's the best idea?"

You slipped your hands out of her hold to make your way over to the mat. Kicking off your shoes at the foot of it before stepping up onto the platform. "Yeah just do me a favor and don't hold back."

Aneka still wore a frown on her face but nevertheless she followed you onto the mat stretching her arms.

"You can use your spear" You told her bouncing on your feet.

She shook her head. "You don't have a weapon it wouldn't be fair."

"I don't need one" You shot back.

Alarms bells were going off in the Dora's head, and she knew at this point the best course of action would be to shut the fight down. It was obvious something was eating at you, but instead of dealing with it. You were adamant to distract yourself with violence, and even worse physical pain. She wouldn't be surprised if you pulled your punches, and let her land blows that you could dodge. The thought of using her spear on you with the mindset you were in right now terrified her.

"How about we just focus on hand-to-hand to start off?" She suggested.

You shrugged your shoulders. "Your funeral." the words were muttered so she barely heard them.

The two of circled each other for a few seconds trying to get a feel for what the other was going to do. You attacked first moving in with a kick at her right leg. Aneka went to dodge the hit, and found her head snapping to the left side pain flaring up in her right cheek. The kick was a fake out to get her to let her guard down, and leave her upper body unguarded. You had delivered a hard right hook to her face almost like the one she stopped earlier.

She hid the pain with ease bringing a hand to her injured cheekbone. Eyes boring into your own.

"I told you not to hold back I wasn't kidding" You said.

Her eyes narrowed and before you knew what was happening you found yourself laid out on the mat. She had you pinned facedown on your stomach with your arms pulled back into a lock. You tried to lift up and agony tore through them. The arm lock made any movement to break it impossible without straining your muscles, and risking a tear.

"Y/N I don't know what's gotten into you but this is not the way to fix it. Trying to rile me up to hurt you won't make your problems go away. The only way to deal with this is to face it" Aneka whispered in your ear.

You continued to struggle to get her to let go as much as you could careful not put any weight on your arms. Her words went through one ear and out the other. The only thing you could think about was how your entire world was crashing down on you, and there was nothing you could to stop it.

Aneka was wrong facing your problems wasn't the answer because it wouldn't change anything.

"Let me go Aneka" You growled angrily.

"Do you promise to cease these foolish games?" She asked with a stern voice.

"You asked me if there was anything you could do he-"

"Yes help not enable" Aneka corrected.

You let out a frustrated scream yanking too hard on one of your arms. You were lucky that the action didn't cause a tear in your muscles, but it did tear rip your gloves. You felt fresh air hit the palm of one of your hands, and panic washed over you. "Okay okay you win let me go" You said in a hurried voice.

Aneka felt your entire body tense up while you became completely still. A far cry from your behavior a few minutes ago. She wondered what could cause you to switch up so fast, and glanced down to see the slight tear in your left glove. Like everyone else in the palace she knew how you were about showing your bare skin.

She released her hold on you, and stood up watching as you scrambled to your feet. Curses spewing from your mouth as you rushed over to your duffel bag.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to happen" She apologized. Not sure of what else to do.

"Its fine you can just go alright I'll be fine." You told her rummaging around in your bag for the backup gloves. Not even looking back to see if she had left, a few minutes went by while you replaced the ripped glove with a new one undisturbed.

A hand came out of nowhere to rest on gently on your shoulder. Immediately you shook it off out letting out a sigh of irritation "Aneka I'm serious just leave it alone."

"Leave what alone? Is something wrong?"

That wasn't Aneka and you were praying to Bast that it wasn't who you thought it was. But alas when you turned around Shuri's was staring back at you with the same concern.

"Shuri what are you doing here?"

She scoffed as if it was obvious which it was. You knew exactly what brought her, but were going to play dumb about it.

"I'm looking for you I woke up and you weren't there." Shuri said with a slight waver in her voice.

"I got an early head start on training" You half lied.

"Since when do you train so early your sessions with Okoye are midday." There was shift in the tone of her voice making it clear she was nervous. You warned Okoye that the Princess would pick up on the slightest change in your behavior or routine. She always did. This wasn't the first time the two of you had done this dance, but it would be the last.

"And what about breakfast you weren't there" Shuri continued.

"Maybe I wanted to eat alone okay." You snapped throwing your arms in the air. "We don't have to be attached at the hip all the time you know."

Shuri opened her mouth but no words came out as her voice cracked, and her eyes became watery. You regretted the words the second they came out, but seeing the effect they had on her made you want to jump off a cliff.

"I know that I'm just saying that you usually leave a note or something you know" she finally said. After ten long seconds of nothing but silence, and this time Shuri was looking away from you hiding her face.

"Give her all of you or give her nothing"

Okoye's words rung through your ears at that exact moment, and you knew what had to be done. It was time to make a choice.

"I didn't feel like it and I don't have to. Stop acting like I belong to you Shuri" You told her harshly. Her head snapped back into your direction with wide eyes filled with hurt.

"Y/N I never-" she tried to say but you held up a hand cutting her off.

"I don't belong to you Shuri and I never will alright" You said with a tone of indifference. Your eyes were free of any emotion as if you were talking to a stranger on the street. And not your best friend since fourteen, and the love of your life.

You'd mind as well drove her a spear into her heart when you spoke those words. Because while you had a history of turning her down you were always gentle with her heart, and careful with your choice of words. Never had you been so heartless and cruel. Never had your conviction been so final and clear.

A sob broke free before Shuri could stop it and she reached out for you. She wanted to take you in her arms, and hear you take it all back. This had to be some cruel joke, because what had she done to deserve this.

"Y/N please" Shuri cried her voice just a whisper. "I don't know what's going on, but we can figure this out."

"No we can't" You replied with no hesitation.

Ayo burst into the training room in her armor and spear in hand. If she wasn't in such a hurry then no doubt she would've picked up on the bleak atmosphere. "Y/N gear up we have a mission flying out in twenty" she ordered up, and was gone just as fast as she arrived.

Your eyes locked onto to Shuri's one final time. They were pleading with you to make the pain go away. Instead you walked right past her without a single word. Not even a goodbye.

Translations:

Umntwana- Child

Ndiyamthanda- I love her

Akukho Mntu Unako- No one can

Tag List: @jejutwist @alistair-mooncrest @ilacknames @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @letitias-fav @bananafishok @justariellove @laurensmabel1 @greek-freak101 @bubshri @ajawasblog @deliciousfestsalad @rhayanm @zhanylai @izzyorzua24 @mocha-aya @lizlil @shinsousliya

#mcu imagine #shuri x reader #shuri imagine #black panther imagine #okoye #aneka

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theflyindutchwoman · 8 months

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I thought torturing you would be more fun, and getting your mind off of whatever's been bothering you. But I should know better than trying to get into your personal business. Good night. Ashley and I, uh, broke up. Well, I guess technically, she broke up with me. I'm sorry. Thanks. Look, and just so you know, I-I did appreciate your whole radio gag… a little. It took my mind off things. Well, good.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.06 - The Reckoning

In some ways, this scene is a nice follow-up from the previous scene in the parking lot, after their 'first' kiss. Things are still a bit awkward between them but they're trying to push forward. Only, this time, Tim admits what's on his mind - or at least, parts of it - instead of pretending. This feels like a step forward, especially after Lucy stayed at Tim's bedside.

For all their progress, it's clear from the beginning that they're not quite back to their usual dynamic and bantering. Yet. Lucy is hesitant at first, almost shy, as she apologises to Tim for getting into his personal business, worried that she may have overstepped… Something she never really did before. And yet… They still crave that proximity, long for the other. When she gives him back his radio, he goes to grab it but doesn't take it either. They both hold onto it, trying to maintain that contact with the other. It's not quite like their (unnecessary long) handshake, but it does have a similar vibe. They remain a bit off-balance, not quite knowing where their boundaries are now. Even her little comment about torturing him not being as fun hints at this.

But that doesn't mean he didn't enjoy her little scavenger hunt. In the end, it worked exactly the way she envisaged. It's only when she goes to leave, that he actually opens up. He may have been reluctant at first, but he doesn't want to sever their connection at all. Most importantly, he doesn't want her to think she did anything wrong or upset him… He doesn't want her to stop trying. Because it shows how much she cares. She was simply trying to reach out to him and cheer him up, and deep down, he was touched by her attention and intention… In light of his breakup with Ashley, it matters even more. So he promptly confesses to make her stay, before correcting himself and admitting that Ash was the one who ended their relationship. And there's a bit of irony here : all this time, he didn't want to talk about this, only for him to practically treat the breakup as an afterthought. He quickly changes the topic and is more focused on making sure Lucy knows how much he appreciated her gesture. And it was a genuinely sweet gesture. With some romantic connotations. But mostly, it was everything Tim needed. Ashley broke up with him after showing one last time that she never truly knew the real him whereas Lucy orchestrated this treasure hunt to let him know how well she knows him. This just highlighted the difference between them even more… and the contrast in their message : Ashley couldn't accept who he was in the end while Lucy celebrated what makes him him. It was her way of saying that she sees him. All of him. She looks so pleased with herself when he concedes that he enjoyed the whole game… Before turning a bit smug, pursing her lips, glad that she succeeded. Her little 'good' is so sweet.

The way the camera actually stresses how far apart they're standing from one another, as if to symbolise the gap they still need to bridge is on point. Still… even that distance can't prevent them from having a moment. They can't tear their eyes off each other. The longing… The lingering looks… Judging by their body language, it seems like they were both about to say something more, trying to prolong this moment a bit longer. That is, until Chris comes within sight, as a reminder that he's still in the picture (since he tends to be forgotten). And that shot of him coming in between them summarise everything. Their last real hurdle.

Lucy inviting Tim to join them for dinner is both hilarious and awkward. And the thing is, she wasn't just being polite, she truly wanted him to come grab a bite with them. She's nowhere near as uncomfortable as the last time they were all in the same place. In her mind, she may not be able to be with Tim, but she still wants to be friends. And friends invite each other for dinner. While Tim is having more and more difficulty with this. Still, inviting the man you have feelings for and almost slept with to come eat with you and your boyfriend is bold… So Tim instantly declining the invitation, a big fake smile in place, is not surprising. Neither is Chris ushering Lucy away. No words needed : this shot depicts the whole story. Especially with Tim turning back to watch Lucy leave. He looks so defeated. The pining… And it definitely shows that the breakup was not the sole thing bothering him. He's not the only one turning back though. So does Lucy… Things are about to come to a head.

#the rookie #chenford #chenfordedit #lucy chen #tim bradford #5.06 #Anatomy of a scene - Chenford Edition

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vex91 · 11 months

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Shin Ryujin - A real one

Pairing: Shin Ryujin x Female Reader

Fandom: Itzy

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: An imagine where Ryujin and reader have feelings for each other but haven't done anything about them yet(for whatever reason). Ryujin ends up having to be seen out on a "date" with another idol set up by her manager and she wasn't able to tell reader beforehand so she finds out on her own and starts ignoring and distancing herself from R because she doesn't give her a chance to explain. Basically super angsty w/ fluff ending. Thank you!

Summary: You and Ryujin had something going on and everyone could see that so when you saw news about Ryujin dating someone, you started questioning her true intentions.

A/N: Thank you for requesting for my Itzy bias🤭❤

3rd's POV

You were always drawn to Ryujin.

You remember when Itzy debuted. You were still a trainee under SM Entertainment when the rumors about JYP debuting their new girl group went around. When they finally debuted you became a fan instantly. Their music was great and the members were interesting and funny, how could you not fall in love with them? The one who caught your eye the most was Ryujin, something about her was so fascinating that she often plagued your mind. You wanted to meet her and get to know the real her.

The chance for that came to you a few months after your debut in Aespa. Your group released an album nearly at the same time as Itzy which resulted in both of your groups to be promoting at the same time. Most of the times you were able to see the other girls, you both were too busy with your schedules. Finally you managed to have a small talk with Yeji and Ryujin during your break time at one of the music shows. You bumped into them and after apologizing, you managed to start a conversation with both of them.

During that time you could feel Ryujin's intense stare, everytime you glanced her way your eyes met and there was this weird tension between you. You couldn't exactly name it but it was obvious to everyone around you, Yeji noticed it and asked for your number with an excuse to talk more later. You agreed and gave it to her before walking away to continue your work not knowing that after you left Yeji started teasing Ryujin about your whole interaction with her.

Yeji started inviting you out to eat with her and her members pretty often since then, you started becoming closer with all of the members including Ryujin, the tension between you grew and at this point you knew what it was and you could feel that Ryujin knew too, you just weren't sure if she actually wanted to date you or not. The signals were there but you really didn't wanted to get your hopes up in case that you misunderstood her.

And honestly, now you were happy that you didn't confessed to her.

[BIG NEWS] Itzy's Shin Ryujin spotted out with Stray Kids's Hwang Hyunjin. They were seen holding hands and hugging. Fans speculate that the two were on a date and were caught in the middle of it.

It hurt.

It hurt so bad mostly because you actually thought that there could be something between you and Ryujin, she did gave you signals but maybe you truly did misunderstood her and she never saw you as nothing more than a friend.

Whatever it was it hurt but you had to accept it and move on. It was hard to do whenever you got a call or message from Ryujin so you decided to block her for a while, you also distanced yourself from her and the girls without any explanation.

What you didn't think of was that after 2 weeks of being ignored, Ryujin won't be too happy about it and will confront you and because you blocked her number, all she could do was come to your dorm. The door opened her Jimin who only looked at her sympathetically, a total opposite of Aeri who glared at the younger girl from behind Jimin "Can I see Y/N? Is she here?" Jimin looked over at Aeri who shook her head while Yizhuo did the opposite "Let her in. If it actually goes bad then blame it on me" Sighing Jimin let Ryujin in and led her to your room before leaving her there.

Ryujin took a deep breath before knocking lightly on your door. You opened the door thinking that one of the girls wanted something from you but you froze when you saw who was standing there. Quickly you tried to close the door but Ryujin put her foot between it, not letting you close yourself off from her "W-Wait Y/N, I need to talk to you" You tried to close the door again but Ryujin kept insisting. You didn't wanted to talk but you couldn't help but let her in when you saw how truly miserable she looked.

When you closed the door after you let her in, you tried looking everywhere but at her and Ryujin didn't liked that "Can you look at me?" You ignored her still not being able to do that "Y/N please look at me" You ignored her request and continued looking at your desk. Soon you felt a hand on your chin, Ryujin turned your head to look at her and the sight that you saw broke your heart even more.

Ryujin looked at you, tears started welling in her eyes as she tried to hold them back. When one tear fell down her cheek, you instinctively wipe it away. Your hand stayed on her cheek as Ryujin found comfort in your warmth, something that she couldn't feel for the past 2 weeks. When she calmed down she started talking "Why... did you blocked my number?" You looked down in shame. You knew that it wouldn't solve your problems, you knew that it would hurt you and her more but you couldn't not do it. It would hurt too much whenever you saw Ryujin's name popping up when she called you.

"I... I didn't had any choice. I did it to move on faster" You mumbled. It was quiet but Ryujin still heard it "Move on? Move on from what, me?" You could hear hurt in her voice when she said that, even the thought alone made her heart ache "N-No I-" You stopped yourself. You shouldn't say it, you shouldn't. Seeing your hesitation Ryujin took your hand in hers and gave it an encouraging squeeze. You shouldn't say it but you will only hurt her more hiding it.

"I like you Ryujin. I like you so much but you and Hyunjin... are together and I d-didn't wanted to ruin that for you so I distanced myself from you to move on" You did it. You just spilled your heart in front of a taken girl. Silence filled the room as Ryujin processed your words. Soon though she started leaning it closer to you only to stop when your lips were centimeters apart, your breath hitched at the close proximity.

"What if I don't want you to move on?" Your heartbeat speed up at her words "W-What do you mean?" She chuckled at your question "I don't want you to move on because I like you too. Hyunjin and I were on a fake date because our company forced us. I'm sorry I didn't told you earlier but they prohibited us from it. I know that it's not an excuse and I will beg for your forgivene-" You interrupted her with a kiss. Ryujin froze for a second before kissing you back.

Her hands found their way on your hips while yours wrapped themselves around her neck, pulling her closer. Ryujin licked your bottom lip, asking for an entrance that you gave to her which soon led to her deepening the kiss. The need for air soon caused you to pull away. Ryujin leaned her forehead on yours as she giggled. You smiled, feeling the happiest you felt for the past 2 weeks. How couldn't you when you could finally kiss the girl of your dreams?

"Tomorrow I have a day off, if you don't have anything to do then maybe you'll let me take you out on a date? A real one not a fake one" You laughed and nodded at her proposition.

"I'd love that"

#vex writes #itzy x reader #itzy reactions #shin ryujin x reader #shin ryujin

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livstarlight · 1 year

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In my personal (impossible) dream scenario nashuri evolves like this.

We start with a tentative alliance in which Wakanda and Talokan don’t trust each other at all, they tolerate each other at best, and just because deep down they know that if they want to survive against the rest of the world they have to work together. They are basically each other’s best (if not only) option.

And Namor and Shuri are the prime example of this. She downright despise having to deal with him, but she still does, for the sake of her people, and probably his too, because she is selfless. But of course that doesn’t mean she has to like it and in fact she never misses the chance of reminding him how much she hates this. How much she hates him. [deep down she doesn’t, she’s annoyed, resentful, but she doesn’t fully hate him]

He is a whole other story. He recognizes the benefits of the alliance, he is of course still blissfully impressed by her, taken even, but he doesn’t share her hopeful point of view. He thinks her naïve in some thing, yet still admiring how despite everything that has happened to her, she still manages to see good in the world. But still, he stays, he cooperates, in his own insufferable manner that drives Shuri mad at every chance. Sometimes (more than some) he does it on purpose just to get a raise out of her.

It’s the alliance, the need to join forces that eventually starts bringing them closer in time, and not just them, their people too. It opens both parties to more and more awareness how alike they are, how they are not completely good or bad either, that there is a shade in between. A bridge that can connect them. Namor and Shuri more than anything.

But of course Shuri would rather choke than admit it, would rather set herself on fire than say she doesn’t just understand Namor. She feels for him. He is less blindsided by it, more aware, but you know how it is, honor and responsability for his people keep him from fully giving in to this, besides it doesn’t help she keeps pushing him away every chance she gets. Especially when they seem to make a little progress. What happened between in them the past, the guilt Shuri feels anytime she allows herself to forget even if just for one moment keep them severely apart.

The vibranium disputes happen. They persevere. They win. All the while denying (Shuri), agonizing (Namor) and still subconciously growing closer.

Then Kang happens.

Shuri has to convince him to join forces with the avengers and the rest of the heroes. A lot of talking, of knocking sense into him, has to happen (because yes, this involves Talokan and Wakanda too, all the multiverse is in danger).

Eventually he relents. But just because of Talokan (and because she asked).

Obviously there is a lot at stake. Their push and pull keeps going strong even in the face of the biggest danger staring right at them in the face. War, danger, possible death. She keeps him close, just to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, yet at safe distance, to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.

Something snaps when they are both full into deep. Conflict is around them, they could die at any moment. And that’s when Shuri realizes that she has lost sight of him. Doesn’t know where he is or if he is alright. That she probably should have said something sooner, and she doesn’t know if she will even be able to because who knows if they are both going to survive this. She should have been smarter, learned from experience. That life is short.

She finds him eventually. They find each other. They both survive. [She still doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t either, but he doesn’t even need to. It has been written all over his face for so long it might has well been there since a particular conversation that involved a tour, a cave and a old bracelet]

It’s the aftermath that helps.

When there is nothing to fight anymore (for now), nothing to hide behind, when everything falls apart. When Shuri lets herself falls apart and accepts it. Him. Because you don’t know how much you have, how important people are to you, how much you love them, until it’s too late. Or you lose them. And truth is she doesn’t wanna lose him.

And the feathered serpent god finally realizes that maybe he has some love for some things on the surface world after all.

#I don't know what this is #why I wrote this #did I just make myself cry?#WHATEVER #I am insane so there is that #namor x shuri #namuri #nashuri #seaprincess #shuri #namor #black panther #wakanda forever #mcu #headcanon #musing

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lykaonimagines · 2 years

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Be Alright - Stephen Strange x Reader

Paring: Stephen Strange x F!Reader

Word Count: 3,796

Description: Y/N and Stephen run into one another for the first time in years at Christine’s wedding. She’d thought her crush for the man had faded over the years, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Requested by: Anon

Other Things: Slightest bit of angst (very very minimal) but it’s just mostly fluffy.

Warnings: Some swearing.

Masterlist

Sighing as she reached the venue, Y/N forces a smile and adjusts her dress slightly before stepping toward the entrance to accept her wedding program from the man at the door.

She’d rather be nearly anywhere else in the world other than this event. And she’d managed to avoid giving Christine a definite answer on whether she could make it until the last minute. Citing work and someone needing to be on duty at the hospital as an excuse. Yet somehow, Christine had managed to talk someone else on the staff into taking her place for the day to allow Y/N to attend.

They had been friends at one point, practically best friends, and she’d suppose they still were friends distantly. Not that Christine had done anything wrong to deserve Y/N distancing herself. They’d lived together in college as roommates, paired up together by chance on their first day. Both headstrong and ambitious with similar career goals, they’d clicked immediately.

They shared dorms and apartments, a car at one point. They laughed together, cried together, and stuck together through everything. Even somehow managing to snag similar positions at the same hospital together when they graduated.

Then a certain arrogant dark-haired doctor happened.

Charming, frustrating, gorgeous, intelligent, and talented. He’d been intoxicating from the moment she’d first saw him. Their subtle flirting had made her harbor a burning crush for the man. Never knowing if she should push the topic with him, or how if she did.

Before she could even figure it all out, she’d walked in on her friend and Strange kissing one late night shift at the hospital. She played it off well. Jokingly teasing them and leaving the room to give them privacy, but the moment stayed seared in her mind.

It wasn’t Christine’s fault. And it wasn’t Stephen’s. It’s not like she’d told either of them her feelings, and if they wanted something between themselves that was in their right. It was firmly her own problem.

But watching her friend’s tumultuous relationship with said doctor was maddening. That crush never really wore off, and listening to Christine talk about their dates and issues just made her further sink into resentment for her.

So she’d slowly distanced herself from the pair. Certain one day they’d get it figured out, and she couldn’t be that close to watch it. Nor did she want to cause problems for her friend. She wanted them to be happy.

While the two hadn’t worked out, and somehow Strange ended up a superhero, their dynamic had still been odd. A big part of her just assumed they still somehow would fix things.

She even found someone else, and tried to move on from that stupidly persistent crush on a man she hadn’t seen in person for years.

Then the Snap happened. Five years of her life gone in a second. Five years of her career, her relationships, everything.

Luckily she got her job back, and on her first day returning her old friend pulled her into the fiercest of hugs. She’d found out Strange had been dusted as well, and Christine had met and gotten engaged to a new man in that time.

Being torn from her thoughts by colliding into a broad suit covered back, Y/N stumbles back, “Oh excuse me, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

The man in front of her turns to give her a familiar smirk, “Very clumsy today Dr. Y/L/N. But I accept the apology.”

“Doctor Strange?” she asks incredulously, her eyes glancing over him quickly. “What are you doing here?”

“I believe we both know Doctor Palmer,” he chuckles, his hand clutching the program he was holding tightly.

“I just mean… exes and such or… I don’t know,” she sighs. “A lot of shit changes in five years Strange, if you two are comfortable with it, then it’s not my business. I’m just going with the flow.”

“You were dusted?” he asks.

“Yes, and still picking up the pieces.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? You were dust too. I’d assume you and your Avenger friends didn’t want half the universe to disappear for five years.”

“Few are as accepting of that as you unfortunately,” he says wistfully.

“Maybe some things happen for a reason,” she responds with a shrug. “At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.”

He nods in response, looking lost in thought for moment before directing a smile toward her.

“Sit with me?” He offers suddenly.

“You want to sit with me?” She asks questioningly.

“Yep. I know you, and if we don’t sit together Nic is going to target one of us. Strength in numbers or Russian Roulette on which of us gets stuck with him?” He teases.

“You make a good point Doctor Strange,” she chuckles and accepts the arm he offers her and leads them toward their seats. “He still goes on about you. Can’t say for sure whether he’d sit with me to complain about you or sit with the source.”

“Never been a fan of me.”

“Clearly. I haven’t even spoken to you in years, and he acts like I’ve personally offended him because we used to talk on our breaks. Christine escapes the rants because he feels bad for her.”

“Apologies for leaving such a lasting impression,” he chuckles.

“An impression only you can leave Strange,” she responds before cursing under her breath. “Speak of the devil…”

“And he’ll appear,” Stephen finishes as they wearily eye Doctor West heading towards them.

“Doctor Y/L/N, Doctor Strange,” he greets them, his eyes going between the two before focusing on Y/N. “Would you mind letting me sit there?”

“I- what?” She asks with a furrowed brow.

“Can I have your seat, I’d like to catch up with our friend Doctor Strange here,” he replies, giving Stephen a scathing look.

Noticing the look between the two, Y/N gives him a sweet smile and slides a bit closer to Strange, “I’m sure you two can catch up at the reception Nic, Stephen had already asked me very nicely to accompany him. It would be rude to just ditch him now.”

“Are you serious?” Nic asks, his eyes widening as Stephen’s arm goes across the back of the pew behind Y/N. “You two?”

“Is there an issue Doctor West?” Stephen asks with a big smile. “There are plenty of seats.”

“Yes,” he snaps back unhappily. “But we can talk about it later.”

Casually shooing the man off, Stephen chuckles once he’s out of earshot, “I owe you one.”

“That you do,” she agrees, subconsciously relaxing back against his arm. “I’m not going to hear the end of it.”

The music finally starts to play and the two get to their feet to face the entrance. Feeling Stephen stiffen beside her, she slowly places a hand on his back and rubs deliberate circles in an attempt to soothe him. He slowly relaxes into her touch, some of the tension leaving his body.

When her hand drops from his back, his hand swiftly reaches for hers. It slightly trembles against hers as her fingers curl around his hand and she faces the front for the start of the nuptials.

“And do you Christine, take Charles to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

A subtle shake goes through Stephen at the words, and she finds herself glancing up at him to see his eyes closed. Rubbing the back of his hand, his eyes finally open and he lets out the breath he’d been holding, his eyes dropping to her.

She offers him a small smile that he returns, his grip on her hand tightening slightly.

“It’s going to be alright,” she whispers as she leans into him, her cheek brushing against his arm.

“It’s going to be alright,” he repeats back at her and nods, leaning in to press a swift kiss to the top of her head before the music for their exit begins.

Y/N’s eyes widen at the gesture, slack-jawed as she tries desperately to focus on her friend walking down the aisle with her new husband. Not on a certain doctor’s warm scarred hand in hers. And certainly not on the spread of warmth his kiss had spread through her body.

“Go with me to the reception?” he asks, ducking his head down closer to her.

“Of course,” she nods, her chest tightening at the smile he gives her.

Strange leads them out of the room, tugging her along by their still clasped hands. A fact neither of them seemed to want to mention.

Stepping out into the fresh air he turns to her, “We have two choices. Walk a few blocks to the building the reception is at, or I can portal us there.”

“As fascinating as literal magic is, I think fresh air might be good,” she comments.

“Mhm, good point,” he responds, leading her across the street to get away from the other guests. “It’ll be on this side of the street, and I don’t want to chance Nic joining our walk.”

“How are you feeling?” she asks him after a few minutes of walking in silence, shoulders slightly brushing. “Don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do.”

He sighs deeply and gives her a weary smile, “A wide range of things I can hardly disconcert at the moment. It wasn’t easy, but I’m not feeling nearly as… hopeless as I expected to feel.”

“That’s good, everything takes time. And having five years ripped out from under you to have a new reality shoved in your face isn’t easy.”

He nods in agreement, pulling their hands a little closer to him, “I’ve known for awhile it wasn’t going to work out. Yet I… sort of still held onto something. I suppose today is a new start of sorts.”

After a few more minutes of silence, he finally chuckles, “Is there something on my face? You keep giving me the side-eye.”

“No, nothing like that,” she responds hastily, looking away from him. “You’re just… different than you used to be.”

“Apologies. I’ve had quite a few things change my perspective.”

“I meant it in a good way,” she corrects, his head turning back toward her. “You’ve been through a lot it seems, you’ve done a lot of shit I can barely imagine. And it’s made you who you are today. I haven’t been around you long today, but what I’ve seen, I like who you are. Though I’m glad you didn’t lose your sass.”

He scoffs at her response, but looks at her softly, “That’s just engrained. But.. thank you.”

“Stephen Strange thanking someone? Truly a changed man,” she grins and he reaches out to playfully flick her nose.

“As I was saying, thank you. For the kind words, and for earlier,” he adds with his own grin. “You’ve made this a lot easier than I was expecting it to be. I’m even in a somewhat pleasant mood.”

“Oh that’s going to change when we get up there,” she gestures at the building they finally reached.

“True,” he mutters and leads them inside, heading into the elevator.

They back into a corner as more guests pile in, one man pressing in exceedingly close to Y/N as she shivers uncomfortably.

Stephen quickly puts his free hand up against the back of the elevator and slips his leg in-between Y/N and the man to push him back, giving the man a pointed stare, “Back up.”

The man shuffles further away from them immediately, and Stephen’s attention turns back to Y/N as she chuckles and whispers a thanks to him.

The ride to the 30th floor feels excruciatingly long. Stephen’s body nearly right against her own, his face directed down toward her. She knew there was still something of a crush there, but she’d assumed years of not seeing him had mostly dulled it.

Obviously that was a lie to herself now that she finds herself trying to control her breathing at his closeness and trying not to stare too intently into his blue eyes.

Finally reaching the right floor, Stephen stays locked in place a moment longer than necessary, pulling himself away just before the doors closed behind them again.

Entering into the hall, the two of them look around briefly.

“Food, drinks, and find a quiet corner to wait out the storm?” she asks.

“My exact thoughts.”

Before they can make good on their plan, a joyous Christine spots the two of them and makes a beeline toward them as they both let go of the other’s hand.

“I’m so glad you two could both make it!” Christine greets her and Stephen with a big hug, one arm around each of them. “I really wasn’t sure either of you would show.”

“I- apologize for that,” Y/N responds, her gaze flickering away for a moment. “A lot has happened, I was avoiding answering. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t want to be here for you. Congratulations, you look like so happy, and I’m so happy for you.”

“Hun trust me I get it,” she says, gently rubbing her friend’s arm. “After The Snap, and everything with Ben… I wouldn’t have blamed you for not wanting to be at any wedding, regardless of who’s it was. It means a lot to me that you came.”

“Ben?” Stephen asks curiously, looking between the two women.

“An ex,” Y/N responds simply with a shrug, looking embarrassed under his gaze.

Christine grins, looking between the two, “But she is single now. Hint hint Stephen.”

Y/N’s head snaps up, mouth agape as she feels her cheeks seem to set on fire, “Christine!”

“I’m just saying,” she holds her hands up defensively. “I’m just seeing two very single people that I care about hanging out together looking quite cozy… might have put a thought or two in my head.”

Before Stephen can respond, Nic appears beside the trio, “Christine, congratulations.”

“Nic, thank you so much for coming!” Christina says and pulls him into a side hug. “It’s great you could be here.”

“Of course,” he nods and turns toward Y/N and hooks an arm with her. “I was hoping to talk to Doctor Y/L/N though, so I’m going to borrow her for a moment.”

“Well we were still-” Y/N starts to say before Nic pulls her away from the other two and closer to the bar.

“Why didn’t you say you had something going on with Strange?” he asks sternly, all pleasantness from before gone. “I’ve gone on and on about how I feel about that jerk and you never said a word?”

“There’s nothing like that Nic, and I don’t think you’d have taken too kindly to me disagreeing with your statements, you’ve always seemed pissed when you talk about him.”

“Because he’s an asshole Y/N!”

“He’s really not that bad. He’s been quite pleasant today actually.”

“He is that bad, and I thought you were over him.”

“Excuse me?”

“As if no one noticed the puppy eyes you used to have looking at him, and now you’re looking at him like that again. Your best friend’s ex, really Y/N? You should feel ashamed of yourself.”

“I think anything going on in my life or Y/N’s is really none of your business,” a familiar voice cuts in. “And you have no right to judge her for anything you seem to think you know.”

“I think we were having a private conversation, Strange.”

“A private conversation that involved me, and you’re harassing the person you’re speaking to. Back off Nic,” he nearly growls, sliding in closer to Y/N until she can feel him looming over her and his chest against her back.

“You think because you’re the best surgeon then the best superhero you can just talk to people however you fucking want. You’ve always been an arrogant asshole, and you always will be.”

Sighing heavily, Y/N breaks away from the two men and heads toward the balcony door. Snatching a glass of champagne from a waiter’s tray as she goes.

She chooses the corner of the balcony, swirling the liquid in her glass as she stares down at the busy city below.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“If you wish,” she responds, glancing over as Stephen leans against the railing beside her.

“Are you alright?”

“Things haven’t really been alright for awhile if I’m being totally honest,” she admits after a moment. “Nic is just a minor annoyance.”

“About the Ben guy?” he asks.

“Part of it yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I was seeing him when the Snap happened. We’d just moved in together, he’d proposed. We were talking about our future. Then seemingly five seconds later I find out it’s been five years, and he’s married and had a kid. Then my family looks at me nagging me about not having a husband yet, like I’m some old maid that’s rotting away and has just chosen to hide away from the dating world or something. When they saw the invite for this it’s all I heard about for fucking weeks. ‘Oh Christine is getting married, why aren’t you getting married yet? Why aren’t you having babies yet?’ Because I was fucking dead for five years and after all that, no one wants to deal with the kind of schedule I have,” she rants, her hold on the glass in her hand tightening. “Apologies. You asked me a simple question and I ranted.”

“It’s fine,” he says with a soft smile, moving in closer to lightly bump her arm with his, “I can understand. Though I tend to use my schedule as an excuse as to why I shouldn’t even try.”

“I’d imagine saving the world and magic tricks isn’t a 9 to 5 huh?” She asks with an airy laugh.

“Not exactly, luckily I’m used to shit hours,” he responds and slowly lays his hand over hers.

“Become a doctor to train for being a superhero, a very long route there. Though I suppose being able to handle a pressing situation, death, the threat of death, and injuries probably is useful,” her hand turns over slowly in his to connect their palms.

“You look beautiful by the way,” he comments, his eyes sweeping over her dress and his fingers intertwine with hers. “I should have led with that earlier. I’m not great at this.”

“And what is this?” she questions with a raised brow.

Running his thumb over the back of her hand, he stays quiet for a few moments, “An attempt at flirting with an amazing woman. Hoping there’s something to that.”

“Depends on what it is you’re looking for. The casual flirts I’ve been done with for years. And I’m not looking to just hookup.”

“I want to be happy,” he admits as he looks out at the city. “I want someone I connect with, that can accept the life I live and want to be a part of it. Something serious and worth keeping. With someone that can give me shit back and that makes my heart race… I’ve probably had too much to drink already.”

“Nah. Those sound nice, I like the sound of all of that. No games, but lots of playing around,” she says with a wink as he turns his head to look back at her.

“Let me take you on a date?” he asks suddenly. “I’d really like a chance to see where this can go.”

“Are you asking me out at a wedding Stephen?” she teases with a smile over her champagne glass.

“To be fair, I have the bride’s permission. She seem quite enthusiastic to make sure we knew we were both ‘very single.’”

“That she did,” Y/N hums and looks back out at the city. “I’d like that… but I want confirmation on a few things first.”

“Which would be?”

“If this goes further, if you’re not feeling it anymore, you tell me. I don’t want to be dragged along if you aren’t fully serious about it. And two, I know your life is probably complicated, but I don’t want to be left in the dark. Might not be able to tell me literally everything, but I’m not dating a sorcerer and knowing absolutely nothing about what you do all day.”

“I can do both those things,” he nods and smirks at her. “Hell if you want to become a sorcerer yourself…”

“I think I’ll stick with just a surgeon for now, but I won’t close that door,” she laughs and leans into him. “I’ve seen the portal thing on the news, just that alone is cool enough to make me consider it.”

Glancing around them for a moment, he looks back to her with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “So do you want to stay here?”

“You’re suggesting we ditch? Where to?”

“We already did the formalities… I was thinking I could show you the Sanctum. Get some pizza, wine, put on a trash movie?”

“The Sanctum?”

“Old building full of magical relics that I protect. One of a few Sanctums we have.”

“So you’re inviting me on a first date to ditch a wedding and go to your house instead?” She grins. “Aren’t you forward.”

His mouth hangs open for a moment before trying to backtrack, but she quickly presses a finger to his lips, “Pizza and movies at the magic house sounds fantastic. I’m going to need to borrow some clothes though because I can’t chill in this all day.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of comfy stuff you can wear,” he nods. “I can’t wait to get out of this suit anyways. Not used to this anymore.”

“Oh, and since I’ve just been thinking it and haven’t said anything. You look amazing in that suit. Like holy shit. I know that’s going to your ego, but I’ll give you that.”

“I’m glad you approve,” he smirks, pulling out his sling ring and opening a portal to the entrance of the Sanctum.

Y/N’s eyes widen at the magical energy and the opulent foyer on the other side of it, “You live there?”

“I do, Master of the Sanctum,” he winks and takes her hand in his. “And I’m hoping you’re going to get well acquainted with it soon too.”

“Suppose that depends on its master,” she teases.

“It’s master is thinking he’s going to want you around a whole lot.”

----

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fleeting-sanity · 8 months

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[ Previous Entry ] 🌿 [ Read @ Ao3 ] 🌿 [ Chapters Index ]

Perhaps it was not about attachments but the simple act of helping one another. That's what being a Jedi was all about, wasn't it? Vyria has always banked on the idea that she was never much of a Jedi, allowing herself a few of the inhibitions but still believing in the teachings and principles of the Order. Besides, her brother was such a key player in this war that they could not afford to lose.

But she knew well that Riornivo had had enough of it, making their decision on his life seemingly selfish.

She felt an arm around her shoulders. Sitting next to her was her eldest brother, but his action was so out of character according to her. Still, she showed her appreciation by hugging him in return while remaining silent. Her mind however, recalled the days of the Dread War, where their lives were changed in a chain of misfortunes and losses. It was the most abandoned she felt in her entire life. Parents passing in short succession between themselves, the one she could depend on joined the enemy, the enemy revealed to be her blood wanted nothing to do with her, and lastly, albeit a controversial fact, was how she resented the Order for achieving heights partly contributed by her family, yet she felt shunned in her moment of grief.

"How do you think we'd deal with him after he's awake?" Vyria muttered.

"We don't know what's happening in there. But if it comes to that… I think… I think we can pull that off again. It's been done before. We know his true nature…"

One of the strike teams storming the Dread Palace was led by Rionnic. Vyria was part of the other. There were numerous defeats suffered from both teams, and when they managed to reach the throne room, only a few remained. Riornivo sat on the throne previously owned by Brontes, completely unrecognizable behind his Dread Master crest and apparel. They were overwhelmed by the might of the Dread Masters, but the two siblings' attempts on reasoning and reaching inside their fallen brother’s heart paid off.

Riornivo ultimately betrayed the Dread Council, which resulted in their defeat.

It was the second fallout, and their father wasn’t around anymore to gaslight the Order against punishing Riornivo. They didn’t even have to though, as the fallen Jedi was ready to cut himself off from the Force and be an exile somewhere unknown. Satele talked him down and provided both of her students the help they needed. But the siblings practically considered themselves exiles as most of the Order were intimidated and weary of them. The few who were accepting and kind were not enough.

Her reminiscence however, was interrupted by a commotion in the next room. It sounded like Arcann debating with the guards outside, but there should be no reason for him to do that.

"This is it, this is your chance to turn around and keep your anonymity...”

In front of the Zakuulan siblings; about a good distance away were three guardians composed of two Jedi and a Sith. Arcann was a regular visitor but what galvanized them was the Knight accompanying him. At first, the former Emperor tried to bluff his way inside, but the guardians wouldn't budge on the Knight's identity. Then he tried to proposition his sister into canceling the visit for another day, which was a futile effort.

"I want to see him!"

But the moment Rionnic and Vyria appeared, she became tense. The siblings dismissed the guardians despite their reservations. Rionnic had a look on his face that could tell who the Knight really was.

"I know it's you."

As soon as Vaylin removed her helmet, blades of blue and red were drawn, followed promptly by a golden one. Arcann was in such a tight spot, but he noticed a crimson smoke dispersing from the slab door's crevice. "Please, let's not escalate. This is not what he would have wanted…"

"Then leave," As Rionnic entered an offensive stance with a reverse grip, while his left hand hovered above his offhand lightsaber. "I'm not opposed to ending both of your existence."

Vaylin was not about to be murdered a second time by the evil twin. But before she could launch an attack, a booming voice coming from inside the chamber stopped them. "Be quiet. Do not disturb my concentration."

The crimson smoke increased its amount, but what truly startled everyone there was how Rionnic suddenly dropped his lightsaber as his body collapsed to his knees, grunting in pain. His sister immediately caught him, restlessly panicking. It instilled a wicked satisfaction in Vaylin seeing him that way. Arcann moved to help, seemingly recognizing the pain Rionnic was feeling. “Hmm… you’ve been hiding this, aren’t you?”

“What?” Vyria asked.

“Twin bond. Thexan used to say that he felt the pain of losing my… arm, but he powered through it. The way of the eldest brother.” Arcann teased while pointing out to Rionnic.

Vyria escorted Rionnic out to hand him over to the guardians for his own treatment, which he refused. He’d rather be left nursing his pain with the traditional Sith way. Not a healthy coping mechanism by ordinary means, but perfectly so in the Sith Empire. Once again, Arcann coaxed his sister to delay the visit, which succeeded only because Vyria told them that Riornivo was off-limits due to his current treatment, but she was open for future visits. It was honestly surprising for Vaylin, since she thought that his sister was adamantly against her friendship with her brother. She put on the helmet again before leaving the underground chambers.

“I think I’m going to stay here,” as Vaylin put brakes on her footsteps.

“But that’s-”

“Going back and forth is a hassle. I’ll be fine–I’ll stay out of sight and out of trouble. You should go back home and help your wife.”

It was with great hesitation that Arcann departed Dantooine without Vaylin. Seeing how desperate Vyria was planted a seed of dread in her, but she chose to mitigate it by entertaining her curiosity of exploring Dantooine for the second time. She has not been in this part of the planet before, and something different happened recently by the looks of it. After briefly exploring the ruined Jedi Temple, she headed towards a nearby settlement and browsed the vendors.

She was carrying a bag full of necessities when she realized that she should have scouted for a camping spot first before shopping. It took a few hours of sneaking around, but she finally found a secluded spot near some big trees, enough for shade and concealment. When she attempted to contact Serrus, the signal was choppy but she informed him of her situation and his tasks. She threw in a promise of getting him something when she returned, in which Serrus laughed off but thanked her for her generosity.

There were adorable juvenile kath hounds to pet but her heart still couldn’t shake off the worry about Riornivo.

Perhaps it was predictable, but Riornivo escaped death yet again. His eyes slowly opened to a crimson surrounding, causing quite the strain to the newly adjusting cornea. What was more painful was his chest, as he groaned trying to stand but ended up falling instead because he was floating. His Architect Wings retracted, then he looked up to a Dread Master shaking his head.

“Congratulations. You are now two weeks younger.”

“W-what? Master Cal…?”

Calphayus rubbed on his temple, regardless of the crest he was wearing. He wanted to lecture this young Jedi so much, but refrained from it after seeing his condition. Gently, he helped Rio to sit on the bed, receiving a whimpery smile and gratitude. “I haven’t seen you in a while… how are you doing?” asked lightheaded Rio.

“A little lonely. Our focus now is you. How do you feel?”

The Barsen’thor was quiet. His arms crossed around his chest, feeling so weak and disoriented. He sighed, then his eyes flitted upwards to the Dread Master.

“I’m supposed to be dead, aren’t I?”

“Why? Would you prefer otherwise?”

His gaze downturned, gulping a metaphorical nerve to reflect on whether he should let it all out, or keep it to himself. He chose the former. “Why can’t they just… let me go?”

“Exactly. They are trying so hard to keep you, when you are jaded. But you do not grant the same courtesy to others. Chiefly, when they should be left to fate.”

The last sentences struck him as too personal, somehow. Healing others was a general fact about Calphayus’ statement, but there was something else behind it, his intuition whispered. “What do you mean…?”

“You know what I mean. I’m advising you against that in the future. Not because of your mercy, but of your survival. Dispense all of the compassion you want, just as you’ve given me, but be careful how you do it. The Force is strong in you, stronger yet if you let it be.”

People in his life seemed to love lecturing him. He even made categories of their flavors, Calphayus there was bunched in the same class as his stepfather. Cryptic but precise. He sighed, but quickly smiled it away. “I’m sorry, master. I haven’t thanked you. Oh, and you said you were lonely? Do you want me to accompany you?”

Calphayus smirked behind the crest. “Always trying to please. Go and live your life. Your way of gratitude would be heeding my guidance… Perhaps we will meet again.”

“Wait!”

But the Dread Master instantly disappeared in a cloud of crimson. The subject of his warning resurfaced in his mind, causing him to quietly ponder. Yes, he agreed that it was an extreme measure of saving someone's life, but he already vowed to not repeat it. He wasn't even sure if he could do it again. Somehow, he was upset about receiving the same treatment, albeit in a different way. But he would benefit from his own advice: that he could help more lives by surviving another day.

Riornivo saw no point in staying inside the chamber, subsequently spotting the slab door which can only be opened with the Force or heavy machinery. He did so carefully, avoiding making a sound. His sister was sleeping on the temple bench; he fixed the blanket and tucked her in successfully without waking her up. When he exited the waiting room, the three guardians outside were shocked upon sighting him.

“Barsen’thor?”

“Shh, apologies, but my sister’s asleep.”

“But you shouldn't be walking around like this.”

“I… I need air. Alone. Please let me… I’ll be brief and safe.”

The three tried to gently let Riornivo down, but at that time, he had enough of people not letting him do what he wanted. He broke down sobbing, which spooked the guardians.

Then he apologized for crying.

“I’m very sorry, Barsen’thor, but I cannot risk your health. This is-”

“I say we let him,” The Sith interjected, which surprised the three Jedi in front of him. “He can take us all out if he wishes. He’s more than capable of defending himself out there. Which is already quite clear of pirates.”

Riornivo thanked the Sith, and the remaining Jedi had no choice but to let him go. "But please return to us soon–your brother will have our heads if he discovers us not supervising you."

"Don't worry about that. I'll give him a call. Thank you for keeping me safe and concealed."

He spent the remainder of his walk out of the ruined temple admonishing himself for crying. Not because of the shame, but he loathed worrying people. Appearing weak in front of them could demoralize, and as a beacon of hope, he was finding it hard to become a good Jedi. But emotions are a core part of humanity; sadly nobody has ever told him that. His mind decided to put it behind as he inhaled the fresh air of the farmlands.

Something caught his attention. Two kath hounds were racing towards another one, apparently injured. The Jedi cautiously approached them to render aid in the form of healing. Once he successfully did so, all three kath hounds thanked him by grazing their nuzzles around his robes. It was a much needed soul support for him as he watched the small animal family retreat to their pack. Reminding him of his twin's little family.

His next steps were aimless–he was content with watching nature and feeling the breeze slip through his robes. However, according to destiny, it wasn't aimless at all. It led him to the person he wished he could share this calming stroll with. Meditation started but this time, standing still as a statue. It was short lived however, when snapped twigs indicated that someone was behind him.

It was the woman he deemed the most beautiful in the entire galaxy.

"Vaylin…?"

Both of them were speechless. Vaylin however, couldn't contain her relief after spending days camping out worried about him. She stormed towards him for a tackle hug, which caught him off-balance. They both fell to the grass; her fall was entirely cushioned by his body.

They can feel their breaths on each other’s skin once again. It was something they needed–from their deepest desires, but after a few seconds of that, they realized the situation and how it might have looked. Vaylin immediately got up, their hearts pounding, faces all red, and just inches away from each other. “S-sorry!”

It took quite the labor for him to sit up, which made Vaylin move quickly to help. Her antics were jittery but timid; as apparent by her fixing his robes and sweeping away the leaves and twigs off him. As if he was a newly discovered treasure. The first minute passed, and they both still haven’t said a thing.

Rio stole a glance.

Vaylin stole a response glance. “How… how are you?”

“I’m… uhm, quite fine. How about you?”

They were awkward, when they shouldn’t be. Perhaps it was that body to body contact just then. Vaylin sighed, wanting to express how much she missed him, but was hesitant and didn't have a clue on how to break the ice. She stood up, readjusting her breathing and posture. She wanted to take care of him. “Have you eaten? You look very tired.”

The first question alone was enough to further weaken his resolve, falling even deeper in love. His gaze naturally fell, and he tried hard to conceal a flustered smile.

“I just… got out of the temple. Um, yes, I haven’t eaten.”

“Let’s go. To my camp.”

A slight change of scenery might be beneficial for her nerves. Her speed wasn’t matched by Riornivo however, as he lagged behind. But this time, instead of sneering, she turned around and held his arm to escort him. “Oh, um–you, uh, you don’t have to-”

“You’re right, but I want to.”

That made his joints soggy. There was no more Code repetition in his mind, only the future of holding her while enjoying the sunset, or feeding her some of his cooking, or slow dancing in a private venue somewhere. Whatever happened to the warden of the Jedi Order?

“Right, sit here. Let me get some, uh… hold on let me make something!”

Seeing Vaylin fumble around was adorable. When he wanted to help, she refused. She cooked a simple stew and brewed a jug of tea, serving them in front of him. This domestic scene felt like a dream to the Jedi, but he wouldn’t let it get too far. An example would be her spoon feeding him. He thanked the former Empress many times, to which her arms akimbo and said; “Well, eat it before it gets cold!”

The taste was better than his own cooking. Even though she forgot to put a little sugar in it, causing the stew to be overly salty. It mattered not as the flavor of being in love made up for that. The semi-sweet tea right after definitely helped. When it was her turn to taste, she spat out her own cooking. How did he eat a whole bowl so fervently?

“You like salty food??”

“What? Oh… um, I don’t think it’s salty?” a flustered Rio assured. He reached inside his robe to present yet another flower crown. Her eyes were in disbelief.

“How th–when did you make this?”

“During my walk. I saw some farm flowers and thought of you. Well, I guess this is my token of thanks.” As he placed the crown on the Empress of his heart. Her doe eyes paired with the rosy cheeks and lips were enhanced with a genuine smile. Both were struggling to talk despite sitting next to each other.

"H-how have you been doing?"

"I'm… good. I met with my nieces and Arcann's wife. They're… such happy people. Mother was there too."

Rio's loving heart was delighted to hear that. "I'm so glad you visited them. How are the twins now?"

The topic of Arcann's family proved to be a good icebreaker. Their conversation branched towards her new pet, his nephew, childhood nostalgia, but it took a little turn when she inquired about the recent battle.

"If I may ask… um, what is that thing from your back? The… six extra arms you got?"

That was an unexpected, and frankly embarrassing question. "It's… a device? An invention by a Dread Master. Umm… some sort of a tool. It's a long story… almost a decade ago. Hard times. Dark times…”

Vaylin put a hand on the back of his shoulder. “Sorry… didn’t mean to ask such questions.”

“It’s alright, Vaylin. It’s a fact of life–that we have dark times and good ones. But I’m hopeful that the days forward will be better. Especially yours.”

Vaylin sighed her head down. She wanted to keep listening to those honeyed words, because she knew that he’d eventually had to resume his duties to the Alliance or the Order, so who knew when they would meet again? But she knew it was such an outlandish thing to do–to confess all of the pent up feelings for the Outlander. His response would probably be something predictable. All of that melancholy resulted in a noticeable silence. “Vaylin…?”

“Rio… I…”

“Is something wrong?”

If she uttered the next words following her heart, it can potentially change the dynamics of their friendship forever. She covered her forehead with her palm, distressing over her heart. “I want…”

The Jedi waited.

“Forget it.”

“Are you sure? It looked important to you,” as Rio shifted a little in his seat, facing her. “You can tell me anything. If you want.”

“Do you mean that? Can I tell you anything?”

That smile again. She stood up weakly, putting a little distance between them.

“I really… really want to… I want to be with you. I want–I want to be with you!”

She turned away, not wanting to see his reaction. His face slowly devolved into one of despair as he stood up. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to turn her around and deeply embrace the woman. But his heart broke instead to the point of almost crying again.

“Vaylin…”

Both of their hearts were pumping blood so intensely it labored their breathing. He wanted to say those words back to her. Maybe even return the kiss she gave him last year. But there was something even bigger than him barring reciprocation.

“You’re… you’re so much more than that…”

“...What do you mean?” She voiced her confusion without turning to face him. She was fully expecting him to either say no or go on an inspirational speech.

“You have so much to experience… your life is still wide open, so much of this galaxy to meet–I-I don’t want to stand between that. You’re-”

“Why do other people always decide on their own about what’s best for me? Why am I not deserving of anything I desire?”

“It’s not like that-”

“Enough. I get it.”

She immediately sprinted away, fighting off the tears and anger of rejection. His pleas for her to stop were ignored. No way was she facing him again. No way was she interested in listening to his explanation about why he did not feel the same. No way would she accept that it wasn’t feasible for a Jedi like him to be with a tyrant like her. This confession was a mistake. He tried to give chase and stumbled due to his weak body. Using the Force to stop her felt wrong, and it could potentially rile her up even more. His waterworks began spilling.

If only she understood the predicament he was in. Perhaps they were not compatible after all; his kind of love was to put her on a pedestal, way beyond him, and he wanted her, a former victim of abuse, to further heal and experience life to the fullest. A relationship was not in his perspective of a full life, possibly attributed to being raised a Jedi. But what about those fantasies in his head where he caressed her?

Vaylin’s body gave out after running a good distance away with a mix of the Force and intense emotion. Finally, she could cry it out. She mourned the imminent death of their friendship–as it would never be the same anymore. She tried her best to subdue her sobs so as to not alert the people inside the buildings nearby. But an attention stealer in the form of a broadcast struck fear into her psyche.

“There have been sightings of the former Empress Vaylin on various planets recently. We still have yet to confirm these reports, but it would be wise to not approach her and instead alert your local authorities. Remain calm and vigilant, but more importantly, be careful as to not accuse blindly. Taungsday news out.”

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quickdeaths · 10 months

Text

@more-than-a-princess

With the person she was intending to meet running late, Shinobu sat upon the bench at the train station, waiting. Too often did loitering in a public place seem to others as an invitation to approach her with confessions or date requests, so looking occupied was a (mostly ineffective) attempt to stave off such behavior. In this instance, they held their phone in their hands, trying to determine what sort of message might be appropriate for the situation at hand. For now, at least, she recognized the importance of composing the message in full before ever typing, rather than subject the recipient to the endless triple dots should she happen to be looking.

[Yaguchi]: Miss Nevermind, I wanted to express my appreciation for the chocolates you sent me the other day. They were both thoughtful and delicious. [Yaguchi]: I regret that I couldn't see you on the day in question, but as you may have heard, there was a certain unpleasant incident that kept me rather occupied well into the evening. [Yaguchi]: I'd hoped to see you and convey my appreciation in person later, but it seems it's been quite the busy week for both of us. [Yaguchi]: Ideally, I'll be able to meet with you and Anzu later tonight, but in the event that it's impossible for me to do so, I wanted to speak with you before the distance between then and now became too great, and I appeared ungrateful. [Yaguchi]: In any event, I wish you and Anzu a pleasant evening.

The message was regrettably long, but there wasn't much Shinobu could do about it. There were enough things that warranted mentioning that it simply required a series of messages. Still, even after saying that much, Shinobu wondered if there was yet more to say. "Shinobu-san!" The introspective moment was broken by the sound of a familiar voice. It seemed there would be no time for further messaging, with Shinobu looking up from her phone to see the person she was meeting disembarking from the train. "I hope you weren't waiting for me long. Are you ready to go?"

"Girls' night!" Anzu declared with a small laugh, walking behind her new friend with a cheery, carefree expression. "I'm glad we could do this, Sonia-san. It's gonna be so much fun!" With the majority of her friend group being 'old people who worked at the theater' and 'Shinobu-chan exactly,' it wasn't like there were many people who would come with her to a host club, or really anywhere she liked to go. She really enjoyed the nightlife, and while there was a limit to the kind of messy fun she could get into when accompanied by Sonia, whose reputation was important enough to be worth protecting, it was still nice to have a friend around.

As they approached the club, Anzu pointed out the sign, a large, fancy, silver banner over the entrance that read SHOOTING STARS in English, with NAGAREBOSHI in smaller kanji between the two words. A moderately classy display beside the door featured the establishment's social media accounts, testimonials from local entertainment figures (including, perhaps, a certain Kohaku Goto XII herself) and headshots of the most popular hosts. It was the photographs in particular that most drew Anzu's attention.

"That's one of our classmates in 77-B," she explained, pointing to the only woman among the hosts, a handsome girl with short blue hair and a classy vest over a short-sleeved button-up shirt. "Rui-kun! She's the Ultimate Host." How exactly an underage girl had won that title two years ago, Anzu wasn't sure, and wasn't going to question. In a lot of cases, HPA students were just that exceptional, to the point where normal rules didn't seem to apply to them. Or maybe it was the case that rather than the 'talent' that everyone talked so much about, the core of being a Hope's Peak Academy student was more about 'going so far as to accept no obstacles in the way of one's dreams.' Or not. Anzu wasn't smart enough to think about those kinds of questions.

"She and Shinobu-chan don't really get along, but she's not a bad person," Anzu explained, taking one last look towards the display before leading her friend into the club. Shinobu didn't get along with most people, so Anzu didn't necessarily think of it as a disqualifying factor. The club's interior was cleaner and more presentable than many others of its kind, not that Sonia might have much to compare it to. Rather than the neon pinks or sultry reds of a lot of clubs, Shooting Stars kept a comfortably mellow blue aesthetic, paired with classy blacks and clean whites. Comfortable plush booths surrounded small, round tables that nearly sparkled, the ceilings dotted with perhaps too many chandeliers. A presently-unused stage sat in the back of club, and at this early hour, only a few seats were filled with women in dresses or businesswear, some looking like they may have come straight from the office. The working men, similarly, presented a fairly unified image - nice clothes, trendy haircuts, far more jewelry than most men.

Standing at the front of house was an older man by the standards of the district, likely around 30, with glasses, a dark suit, white gloves, dark hair pulled back into a short ponytail. "Welcome, treasured guests, to Shooting Stars," he said with a smile and a polite nod, first to Sonia, then to Anzu. "Anzu-san, it's been too long. Thank you for thinking of us, and bringing a friend." Anzu nodded, beaming. "Hey, Monsieur. I have an appointment tonight, with Rui-kun." At that, the man's smile faltered only a bit. "Ah... I'm afraid your prince is in another castle." That the actress showed no reaction to the reference seemed to dampen his spirits. "Er... Rui-san is, unfortunately, out tonight." He leaned in, speaking more quietly. "Her younger siblings are ill, and she seemed concerned about them. I sent her home, rather than have her worry all night."

Anzu frowned. "Oh... Well, I guess that's a good reason." The man straightened back up. "I'm sorry for you and your friend to have come all this way, but if you'd like to stay, I'm happy to offer you a small discount?" He motioned towards one of the nicer-looking open booths. "If the two of you would like to take a seat, I'll join you in a moment to figure out what we can do for you instead." Disappointed though she was at Rui not being there, Anzu nodded. "Alright. Thanks, Monsieur." Leading Sonia towards the offered booth, she sighed. "Sorry, Sonia-san. I wanted you to meet Rui-kun, but I guess she's not here tonight. Did you think any of the guys on the display were especially hotsexy?"

#morethanaprincess #c; the sun-slaying arrow #c; the heroine of a thousand faces

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hockeylvr59 · 8 months

Text

Here With Me Part 28 || Taylor Makar

Author’s Note: Kelsey considers what the future may hold for her and Taylor before jetting off to Calgary to spend two weeks with him and the Makar's. FC: Marina Laswick (@marooshk on instagram). P.S. Happy 1 week until Taylor's season starts.

Warnings: familial fighting, relationship tension, awkwardness // Word Count: 4,548

~~~~~~

Twenty Seven

Days passed one by one as Kelsey watched the countdown tick away while she did her best to keep herself busy. She met up with friends, continued plugging away at her thesis paper, and worked on applications for med school. Yet she hadn’t been able to get one of the questions on Tufts application out of her head.

Outside of beginning your residency or other academic avenues, where do you see yourself in five years (family, social, hobbies, ect.)?

It was something that Kelsey hadn’t really thought about before, so focused on getting into med school so that she could become an obstetrician. Immediately her mind drifted to Taylor and how in love with him she was and what the future held for them. The first year of med school would be manageable, he’d still be at UMass and all of the schools she’d applied to so far weren’t that far of a drive.

But what about after that? What about once Taylor was done with school?

That was already in the back of her mind when Taylor brought up being asked back to the Avalanche’s prospect camp in July about a week before she was set to fly to see him.

There was a strong chance that Taylor would remain a member of the Avalanche organization which would put him in Colorado once he was done with school. 2,000 miles. That was a hell of a lot more distance to cover.

And it wasn’t like the University of Colorado didn’t have a good med school program, they were just as good if not better than other schools she was applying to.

So much was still up in the air regarding her and Taylor’s future as a couple but if Tayor was going to be in Colorado, shouldn’t she at least apply and make it an option for herself? At least give themselves that chance? Possibly one year of long distance versus three or more. It seemed stupid not to and before she knew it Kelsey had submitted the University of Colorado’s medical school as one of her primary choices and completed the application and all other requirements.

Unless Taylor brought it up however, she was going to keep it to herself just in case she wasn’t accepted. No point in getting his hopes up unnecessarily.

****

Thankfully her passport had arrived a few days prior to her scheduled departure. Kelsey had tried to pack modestly, they were spending a few days in Calgary before heading to his family’s lake house in BC so light clothes were the name of the game. She threw a pair of pants into her suitcase in case of cool evenings but decided she could just steal one of Taylor’s hoodies when she got there in order to save space.

“And where exactly are you packing to go?” As she packed two new swimsuits, Kelsey heard her mother’s voice appear in her doorway. She had purposely avoided telling her parents about her trip, though she had mentioned going to see Taylor to her dad, just without specifics.

“Calgary to see Taylor.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Kelsey could practically see the smoke spilling from her mom’s ears.

“I don’t think so.” The tone of her mom’s voice signaled that she expected those four words to be the end of it. Turning around, Kelsey put both hands on her hips signaling that she wasn’t backing down.

“You can think whatever you want mom but I’m going to visit my boyfriend and his family.”

“I’m telling you you’re not allowed to go.”

“Yeah well last I checked I’m an adult so you no longer get to make decisions for me.”

“I already told your cousin Mary we would be at her baby shower next weekend.” If her mother really thought she was going to guilt trip Kelsey into staying she had another thing coming.

“You mean for her fifth child? The one she only got pregnant with hoping it would guilt her husband into staying…yeah I’ll pass.”

“She’s going to ask where you are.”

“Because she was so concerned when I wasn’t any of the first four. Yeah I don’t think so.”

“Kelsey Anne. You’re not going.”

The glare shared between them could melt a glacier.

“If I had said I was going to the Outer Banks with some girlfriends would we be having this conversation right now?”

Her mother didn’t even have to say it for Kelsey to know that they indeed would not be.

“You’re only acting like this because you don’t like my boyfriend even though you haven’t even given him a chance. And that’s too bad….because I am head over heels in love with him and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. So you’re just gonna have to get used to it.”

“He’s only going to leave you once he graduates.”

“Given that you know literally nothing about him and what kind of person he is I don’t think you get to draw that conclusion. I’m going to Calgary, that’s all there is to it. Now get out of my room so I can finish packing.”

Slamming her door shut as soon as her mother walked away, Kelsey leaned against it and sighed. Her mom was certainly doing an A+ job of pushing her away and making her never want to come home again.

*****

Kelsey hadn’t spoken to her mom again prior to catching a ride with a friend to Boston and hopping onto her plane to Calgary early Monday June 12th. Thankfully she had found a direct flight so after a roughly six hour plane ride she arrived in Calgary mid afternoon.

Texting Taylor that she had landed, she made her way through customs and to baggage claim to get her suitcase before heading out to the pickup area once Taylor had confirmed that he was there waiting for her.

Though she knew that the pickup lane was the most practical spot to meet, Kelsey was a little bummed that it meant she wasn’t going to get a hug and kiss from Taylor as they needed to load her bag into the back and get going. All she wanted after three weeks apart was to feel his arms wrapped around her. Nonetheless, after loading her bag, she climbed into the passenger seat and smiled at Taylor softly, though the tension from the flight and everything still lingered in her body.

“Hey.” Taylor murmured as he leaned over the center console to kiss her softly and quickly before pulling away from the curb.

“Flight okay?” Taylor asked as he made his way back toward the highway.

“Yeah, just long.” Kelsey murmured back.

Once Taylor was safely on the highway with slightly less traffic surrounding them, his right hand fell to her thigh rubbing softly. It wasn’t a hug but it would do for now and Kelsey rested her hand on his, squeezing gently.

Looking out the window, Kelsey took in the new sights surrounding her, a bit overwhelmed by it all. Eventually Taylor got off the highway and navigated through back streets before coming to a stop. It wasn’t a residential neighborhood, so Kelsey was a little confused.

“I thought we’d stop for ice cream.” Taylor declared, looking over at her with the softest eyes.

“Sure.” Kelsey agreed. Ice cream did sound good but first Kelsey really needed that hug.

Climbing out of the car, Kelsey moved to meet Taylor, stopping in front of him expectantly.

“Ice cream is that way.” He pointed, a smirk developing on his face.

“Taylor…” Kelsey insisted, knowing he knew what she really wanted. Chuckling softly, he finally pulled her into his arms, lips pressing softly against her hair. Immediately the tension poured off Kelsey’s shoulders and she hugged him back tightly, face buried into his chest.

“Guess it’s a good thing I showered after the gym this morning.” He joked after a few minutes, causing Kelsey to pull away, giggling softly at how he always knew how to settle her mood.

“I missed you.” She shrugged softly, her tone raw.

“Missed you too. Now let’s get some ice cream.” Taylor declared, tucking her into his side as he guided her to the store so she could pick out her post flight treat.

With some of her tension finally lifted, Kelsey could finally feel the excitement radiating from Taylor as he kept peeking down at her and it made her feel warm to know that he was so excited that she had come to see him.

Sitting close in a spot in the shade, they devoured their treats, Kelsey choosing to embrace being in Canada and having maple flavored ice cream made from Canadian syrup and Canadian dairy while Taylor had a vegan coconut lime. It was not her preference but it was still good and something different than she’d had before.

After finishing, they disposed of their trash before heading back to the car hand in hand.

“Alright, back to my parents.” He declared as Kelsey stopped him near the passenger door.

“First I want a proper kiss.” Kelsey insisted, fisting his shirt gently, not satisfied with only the quick peck at the airport. At the moment, the parking lot wasn’t full of kids or anything so it wasn’t like it would be wholly inappropriate.

Taylor just smiled, face completely relaxed and happy before humming and dipping his head to press his lips to hers as she lifted up against him, exploring him after the separation.

After a moment, Kelsey felt his dick press a bit more insistently against her stomach and she smiled into the kiss. She was in lazy plane clothing but yet he was still reacting to her.

Breaking the kiss, Kelsey gazed up at him with twinkling eyes, acknowledging how he’d grown a bit just from a simple kiss with just a look.

“You’re trouble.” He mumbled into her ear before opening the passenger door for her. Quickly he rounded the car to climb into the driver’s seat but after putting the key in the ignition he leaned his head back against the headrest.

Reaching over, Kelsey rested a hand on his thigh causing him to turn his head looking at her like ‘let me regroup would you.’

Giggling softly, Kelsey pulled her hand back and bit her lip as Taylor adjusted himself in his shorts.

“Yeah better get that under control since we can’t have sex at your parents’.”

“What?” Taylor questioned his voice filled with confusion which only made Kelsey confused.

“We can’t have sex at your parents’.” She repeated.

“My parents don’t care.” Taylor stated matter of factly. “They basically know we’re having sex. As long as we’re safe they don’t care.”

Kelsey could only stare at him, a mixture of shock and disbelief on her face.

“Kels….” Taylor murmured. “My mom saw the hickeys you left on me before I came home for Christmas and all I got was a ‘just be safe and use protection.’”

Kelsey’s cheeks flared red and she turned her head to the window clearly looking uncomfortable.

“Doesn’t mean they’re okay with it happening under their roof.” Kelsey mumbled.

“Kels if you don’t wanna have sex, we won’t, but I’m telling you my parents couldn’t care less so long as there are no grand babies for a long time.”

With Taylor’s erection dissipating because of the conversation, he buckled his seatbelt and shifted the car into reverse, backing out of the parking spot and proceeding back to the road.

It didn’t take long to get home and after parking the car, Taylor moved to help Kelsey with her bags.

“Welcome to Calgary, Kels.” Taylor grinned, putting that prior conversation behind them and focusing on enjoying the two weeks his girlfriend was here. Following him inside, Kelsey’s first thought was that it was quaint and comfortable, everything she had assumed Taylor’s parents’ home would be. “Mom and dad should be home soon but c’mon we’ll take your bags to my room and then I’ll give you the tour.”

“Your room?” Kelsey breathed, the words sticking with her the moment he’d said them.

“Yeah Kels…my room where you’ll be staying…with me.” Taylor declared, turning to face her after setting the bags down at the bottom of the stairs. “Where did you think you’d be staying?”

“I don’t know…a guest room.” Kelsey shrugged. An exasperated look crossed Taylor’s face before he shook his head softly noting to himself that they would revisit later if she wanted to sleep in the guest room once she was actually sounding like herself.

“I think we need to have a conversation with my parents later.” Taylor sighed, turning to pick Kelsey’s bags up and starting up the stairs to set them in his room for now at least.

With Kelsey following, Taylor gave her a quick tour of the house before suggesting that she take a post-travel shower. Though Kelsey hesitated for a minute she finally agreed that was a good idea and so Taylor got her a clean towel and showed her how the shower works before heading back downstairs to the couch.

That was where Laura found him when she got home from work ten minutes later.

“Hey sweetie, where’s Kelsey?” Laura asked, seeing that Taylor was all alone.

“Showering.” Taylor replied, running his fingers through his hair. “Can you do me a favor and talk to her about room sharing and stuff?”

“Sure. I’m just going to change first.” Laura confirmed, knowing something must be off if Taylor was already asking her to talk to Kelsey, before moving to go through her usual post work routine.

When she came back down, Kelsey was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and Laura immediately greeted her, offering a hug.

“We’re so glad you’re finally here.” Laura declared, her hug warm as she wrapped Kelsey in her arms. Though it didn’t last long, it was the kind of hug that you couldn’t help but relax into.

“I’m glad to be here too.” Kelsey murmured back, though her voice wasn’t filled with its usual confidence.

“Was your flight okay?” Laura inquired.

“Yeah.” Kelsey agreed. “Just a little long. I’ve only flown along the east coast before so it was definitely longer than I’m used to.”

“I bet.” Laura replied, moving around the kitchen to get together the things she needed to make dinner. As she did, Taylor appeared from the living room, kissing Kelsey’s head as he moved to refill his own drink.

“So what’s the plan for the week before we head to the cabin Thursday?” Laura questioned.

“Just figured I’d show Kels Calgary tomorrow and then Wednesday we’d go hike Mount St. Piran.” Taylor declared, smiling as Kelsey grinned at the thought of a hike. “It’s got some great views and isn’t as crazy busy as some of the other trails out that way so it should be good.”

“Make sure you take plenty of water and sunscreen.” Laura reminded, as all mothers do.

“Of course. Kels and I have the whole hiking thing down by now with all our post season hikes.” Taylor bragged because even if it had only been two or three, that was more than he’d hiked at all the previous year in Amherst.

“Good.” Laura nodded. “Now can you go clean off the grill and get it started for dinner for me?”

“On it.” Taylor declared, moving to gather the things he needed.

“And Kelsey can keep me company in here.” Laura added on, gesturing for Kelsey to take a seat at the kitchen island.

Kelsey exchanged a look with Taylor before he dipped outside and then swallowed hard.

“How are med school applications going? Taylor mentioned you’d been spending a lot of time of on those these last few weeks.” Laura questioned, trying to make Kelsey comfortable before beginning to ask what Taylor had wanted her to.

“First round is in so now I just wait for interviews and stuff in the fall.” Kelsey explained with a shrug.

“Well that’s good. Now you can just relax while you’re here.” Laura stated with a smile while peeling sweet potatoes. “I’m sure Tay took your things to his room since we figured you’d be most comfortable there.”

Immediately Kelsey turned a little pink and dropped her eyes to look intently at her glass of water.

“If you’d prefer a guest room, we can get one set up for you that’s no problem.” Laura added, watching as Kelsey opened and closed her mouth a few times without speaking. ��Whatever makes you comfortable Kelsey…that’s all we want.”

“I want to sleep next to him…” Kelsey whispered, tone almost ashamed.

“Then what’s stopping you?” Laura questioned, clearly sensing there was more going on.

Flushing further, Kelsey shrunk into the stool she was sitting on. Meanwhile, Laura continued peeling and cutting the sweet potatoes before putting them in foil and starting on starting on the green beans that would join them.

“I don’t want to give you any reason not to like me.” Kelsey eventually mumbled under her breath, peeking out to where Taylor was still scrubbing away at the grill.

“Kelsey…why would that make us not like you?” Laura started. “We got you two a hotel room in Amherst and Gary dropped Taylor off at your apartment to sleep over before that. It’s not a secret to anyone that you have sleepovers together.”

“Would be to my parents….” Kelsey muttered softly. With the front door opening with Gary’s arrival, the conversation paused as Taylor’s dad made his way into the kitchen greeting Kelsey warmly.

“Would you look at that, she made it.” He grinned, though he immediately picked up on the tension in the room.

“Hi Mr. Makar.” Kelsey stated softly.

“You know it’s Gary Kelsey.” He reminded her, moving to kiss his wife. “Everything good in here?” He asked in her ear.

“Can you take the chicken and vegetables out to T, he should have the grill going by now.” Laura questioned, the look they exchanged signaling that they were working on some things but alright.

As Gary headed outside, Laura turned to wash her hands.

“Kelsey, I’m not going to force you to talk about your relationship with your parents if you don’t want to even though it doesn’t seem to be a healthy one based on what you’re projecting onto us.” Laura stated simply. “I’ll just say, in this house we just want Taylor…and by extension you…to be happy and comfortable. You’re both adults. You’re in a committed relationship. As long as you’re being safe it’s frankly none of our business what you do behind closed doors. We’re not going to suddenly stop liking you because you want to share a bed with my cuddly son or even engage in other adult activities. To be frank, the thing that would make us not like you is if you hurt him by pulling away out of fear of what we might think.”

“I love him so much.” Kelsey whispered. “I just don’t want to do anything to mess up a possible forever.”

Rounding the island, Laura pulled Kelsey into a hug.

“If forever is what you want then don’t let anyone outside of you and T define your relationship okay.”

Nodding into Laura’s shoulder, Kelsey hugged her back focusing on taking some deep breaths. Even once they had pulled apart, Kelsey was still a bit shaky and murmured that she was going to T’s room for a minute.

After climbing the stairs, Kelsey stepped into Taylor’s room and moved over to the bed, flopping back onto it and closing her eyes. Immediately Taylor’s scent enveloped her causing waves of comfort to wash over her. It had only been 18 days but god had she missed how he smelled.

Breathing deeply, Kelsey tried to push everything weighing on her mind away and just focus on the fact that she was in Taylor’s childhood bedroom with the man she adored right downstairs instead of thousands of miles away.

With her eyes closed, Kelsey was unsure of how much time had passed before she heard a throat clearing in the doorway and her eyes met Taylor’s when she opened them.

“Mom sent me to check on you…” He declared, though he didn’t move from his spot.

“You can come in, you know…” Kelsey murmured. “It is your room. Though I’m hoping you’re still willing to share it with me.”

As Taylor moved closer, Kelsey sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry for earlier.” She mumbled. “I just…god I want your parents to like me and my mom can be really damn good at clouding what I think other people are going to perceive and yeah.”

“Are we good now?” Taylor asked, still standing in front of her.

“Still processing a little but I think so…” Kelsey murmured. “I just want you.”

Taylor still appeared a little on edge so Kelsey stood, sliding her arms around him in a hug.

“I love you T. So fucking much it’s scary sometimes.”

“Love you too Kels.” Taylor murmured, slowly relaxing as Kelsey rubbed his back.

“Think dinner is ready? Because I could really use fed…” Kelsey eventually questioned, her stomach rumbling slightly.

With Taylor nodding, Kelsey stretched up for a quick kiss before moving with him back downstairs, trying to quell any anxiety about being around his parents.

Thankfully, neither acted like anything had happened and just settled into eating dinner that the guys had grilled up. It wasn’t anything special but having not really eaten all day it definitely hit the spot and Kelsey devoured her entire plate in no time.

Nudging her side, Taylor offered her a little more chicken from his huge portion and Kelsey nodded, sliding a hand along his thigh in thanks.

“T, you got invited to Justin Ross’s wedding right? I ran into his dad today.” Gary questioned once he had finished his own food.

“Yeah…” Taylor confirmed between bites. “Think that’s coming up soon.”

“Next weekend.” Gary declared. “Assuming you’re taking Kels as your plus one.”

Taylor was quiet for a moment as if running over the calendar of Kelsey’s stay in his head.

“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.” He grinned.

Almost immediately, Kelsey’s fork clattered to her plate and Taylor let out a bit of a yelp as Laura kicked him under the table.

“Breathe Kels.” Laura murmured. “You and I will go shopping while T goes to the gym in the morning and we’ll find you a dress and shoes.”

Nodding, Kelsey relaxed though she couldn’t help but shake her head at how much Taylor still had to learn about women.

“In the future, you might want to give your girlfriend a heads up if she needs to bring formal clothes for something Taylor.” Laura chastised softy.

“I forgot it was when she was gonna be here.” Taylor mumbled, looking over at his girl. “Sorry Kels…mom will help you find something though if you’re willing to be my date.”

“You know I’m always willing to be your date Tay.” Kelsey breathed, cheeks a little pink from the added surprise that had been dropped on her when today had already been a little bit of a mess.

“After we clean up, can we go for a walk T?” Kelsey questioned softly as he finally finished up the food on his plate. “I could use some air if that’s okay.”

“Gary and I have the cleanup tonight.” Laura insisted. “Go for your walk.”

“Thanks mom.” Taylor declared, moving with Kelsey to the foyer to get their shoes.

After probably forty-five minutes of walking around Taylor’s neighborhood, they finally returned to the house slightly sweaty with some of the tension giving way to fatigue.

As Taylor headed inside to retrieve bottles of water, Kelsey sank onto the front stoop, feeling achy and completely drained after the roller coaster the day had been.

“Think your parents would care if I went to bed?” Kelsey questioned softly as Taylor sat down beside her.

“Course not Kels. Finish the water and we can head up to get ready.”

It was technically only like 8pm Calgary time but that meant it was 10pm eastern and Kelsey had been up since 6am. Add in all the stress and all she wanted to do was sink into bed.

Drinking the entire bottle of water, Kelsey passed it to Taylor to recycle before pushing herself up to head inside. Passing by where his parents were, Kelsey murmured her goodnights and headed upstairs to Taylor’s room. Running through an abbreviated nightly routine she changed and cleaned up a little before pulling down the covers on Taylor’s bed and climbing in.

Within just a few minutes, Taylor had joined her, going through his own routine before slipping into the other side of the bed and pulling her close.

“Tomorrow is a new day.” Taylor murmured softly and Kelsey nodded, ready to put today in the past.

As she tried to soothe herself to sleep, her fingers worked up under Taylor’s t-shirt in search of his happy trail only to be met with smooth skin. If the day hadn’t been as stress-inducing as it was, she might have been fine, but immediately her bottom lip wobbled and tears pooled in her eyes, dripping onto Taylor’s arm and the pillow beneath her head.

Rolling, Taylor pulled her up onto his body and wrapped himself around her, playing gently with her hair until the tears had stopped actively falling and she was just left breathing unsteadily on his chest.

“Kels…” He whispered softly. “What was that all about?”

When his question drew a few more tears from her eyes, Taylor sighed and just rubbed her back letting her work through all of the emotions coursing through her.

“Kels…” He prompted once she had calmed down again.

“Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Nothing that makes you cry is stupid Kels.”

“Just wasn’t expecting you to have shaved it…” Kelsey mumbled, pure exhaustion and fatigue showing in her voice.

“Shaved…? Oh.” Taylor mumbled as it dawned on him where her fingers had been when the crying started. “You liked the hair there?”

“Love your happy trail…” Kelsey whispered forlornly. “But not gonna tell you what to do with your body…it’s just been a long day…sorry.”

Squeezing her tighter, Taylor kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry I shaved your comfort spot. Didn’t realize how much you loved it.”

“It’s your body. I’m just being silly.” Kelsey sniffled.

“It’s just hair to me, Kels. But to you it’s comfort and security and that means more. So once it grows back I’ll keep it I promise.” Taylor murmured, urging her to lift her head so he could kiss her. “You’re my world Kels. Just wanna make you feel happy and safe.”

“I love you.” Kelsey murmured when Taylor broke their kiss.

“Love you too. Now sleep because you’ve had a hell of a day.”

“Are you taking me anywhere fun tomorrow?” Kelsey asked, rolling off of him and back onto the bed with a yawn.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Taylor mused, kissing her one more time as they settled in to sleep cuddled together.

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