#which was. restricting. very much

[insert-neologism]

bad astrology by flower face

#yellowjackets #jackieshauna #ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED #what do I do now. with my life (ranking) #also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em #literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me #<- guys look im living so healthy #anyways this was a blast #hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists #mitos incredible life #mine art tag #also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there #ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always) #and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead' #(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor)) #which was. restricting. very much #also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th #ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.) #anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water #bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat #probably #omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen #recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt #that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose #gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay #no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing #ive wanted to do smth similiar alr #but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poem‚ a painting or a play) #but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water

[alyrch99]

I just want to say that if you devote your time, money, attention, and the resources of your social media platform to censoring and attacking trans women during an ongoing massive cultural reactionary movement with us in its crosshairs, not only are you part of the problem, but you are a heartless piece of shit to such a degree that you should not be able to look yourself in the eyes.

You are dragging a woman's protections away from her as an ongoing campaign works to tear her down. She said literally hours ago that she was posting about this to try and protect herself and her name from the false and highly politicized allegations against her, so you respond by having a hissy fit that people are asking what happened and replying by snap deleting all of her accounts??? Are you 6 years old? Have you no conception of right or wrong???

#this goes obviously just as much for any of the transmisogynists cheering this on and spreading lies #and no #I don't mean terfs #I mean transmisogynists #which terfs are a category of #but which are very much not restricted as such

[tangledinink]

new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:

big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons

splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder

wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.

leo and donnie have eating disorders--

#this is a Joke but also No It's Not #it's just different flavors lmao #but both of them have absolutely fucked relationships with food #my poor babies... :(... who did this to you...? #(it was me i did) #leo spends a lot of time worrying about whAT hes eating and how mUCH hes eating and if hes eating the rIGHT thing #largely due to his mom and also just being a celebrity/child celebrity in general #but also in part due to: #donnie has a lot of food sensitivities which have really never been accommodated for at all and as a result he just #has a very negative association with food and eating. he doesnt LIKE eating and he avoids it a majority of the time. #its stressful and unpleasant and he doesnt like it #which ofc only gave leo another reason to hyperfixate on food and calories and nutritional value etc etc etc #which leads to #ironically #leo (who def has an undiagnosed ed and restricts/denies himself food regularly): worrying abt making sure donnie eats enough #donnie will do the same thing back sometimes but not with the same obsessiveness that leo does #esp because the ideals surrounding eating and dieting set up around them really kind of just #lead them both to believe (at least to an extent) that leo is fine and eats a totally healthy and ok amount of food (esp in comparison to d #(no he doesnt)(and even when he does thats not the point) #tw eating disorders #cw eating disorders #eating disorders #tw disorders eating #cw disordered eating #disordered eating #gemini au asks #asks #anon

[forcedhesitation]

that one bozo who made the gender swapped dame aylin mod: it's unrealistic for minorities to exist in this game because it's supposed to take place in medieval europe!!!!

aasimar, vampires, devils, and dragons aside....

bg3:

#bg3 #thoughts about media #where's the outrage over the existence of a 1950s québécois dish in a medieval european setting? hm?? #canada...canada doesn't exist in the forgotten realms. the land which this country occupies does- but the concept of the nation does not. #also! in the forgotten realms- bisexuality is the canonical norm and gender is much more complicated than just a clear cut binary. #several races have words in their languages specifically for transgender people. #and it's not viewed as strange in any way for someone to be transgender. transition is also super easy- as magic exists. #in fact. it's very probable that dame aylin CHOSE the form of a woman. based on what I've read- the divine can easily change their form. #and devils are all varying flavours of non-binary. primarily genderfluid it seems. it's totally normal for them to change form and pronouns #the majority of elven societies practice total gender equality- they do not see one gender as better/worse than the other in any way. #and bg3 actually does reflect the forgotten realms canon. pretty strongly. in this respect. #the illithid are genderless and referred to as such. your elven companions are all bisexual & polyamorous... #...duke stelmane has this title because it's a canonically genderless title. there is no use of sorceress/wizardess for the same reason. #and of course- your player character can swap gender & pronouns midway through the game and no one will care. at all. #like. for all the terrible problems with the forgotten realms- it's become FAR more aware of the fact that it's ridiculous for... #...a fantasy world to restrict gender and sexuality in the all-encompassing & discriminatory way that bigots demand. #also this isn't ammunition for anyone to pick on people who have lesbian/gay or straight tavs or durges. #my own main tav is a gay man.

[featherymainffins]

Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.

#ed recovery #are you people for real? #ONE. I'm asking for ONE tag. #how tone-deaf and cruel do you have to be to post your active ed behaviour absolutely without any trigger warnings #or forewords #you know what i foolishly expect in the es recovery tag? ed recovery. yes i know very presumptuous of me. #i expect people who are trying to recover or are in recovery sharing their experiences and maybe some body positivity #talking about how hard recovery can be; for example. etc etc. #you know what happens in the tag? of course you do. ana meal diaries. posts about nothing but how much you body check #talking about how much you hate yourself because you're trying to lose 10kg and yesterday you had a salad and now you're asking #for tips how to get better at restricting and continuing your ed. #everyone who does that is a ghoul. and I'm done being nice and ignoring that shit. #like. some fucking room check maybe? I'm sitting in my flat shaking from cold which is caused only partly by the room temperature #and I'm doing my best to avoid everyone i know because i can't stand the thought of them seeing my form and when someone #i know accidentally meets me on the street or somewhere i feel like shit because I'm disgusting and if it were up to me #i wouldn't even leave this flat at all. so you know. naturally. i try to get myself at least some form #of support. i try to look for positivity for people like me; who are trying to recover. i want an outside source to affirm that I am not #repulsive. that I'm not insane when i think that all bodies are cool and fascinating and that there's no way or shape anyone is #expecting me to be in order to earn their love or at least their lust. and what do i get instead? you ghouls #wonderful. lovely. think about all the people like me next time you decide to post that shit in the recovery tag. thanks.

[shorthaltsjester]

nothing more morally reprehensible than a cleric (checks notes) using the key features of their class…? surely that can’t be where we are regarding analysis of character actions in cr at this point.

#also like. fcg already cast turn undead around laudna he knew it wouldn’t destroy her. #like fcg does make fucked up choices fairly often but the cleric desiring to cast turn undead when there are many undead creatures isn’t one #also like. yes fcg was a shithead about it w his respect the gods comments but. very very specifically laudna Has been starting shit #in every convo even tangentially related to the gods laudna is the one who without clear motive goes Well What If Gods Bad Actually #which. sure . if u had a clear reason i’d be happy to follow the trail. i’d think it’s still a dumb claim but yk #like the few times when fearne has brought it up it’s been prodding the ideas the Others have in response #and when imogen has it’s been certainly self centered but that means it’s evidently motivated whereas with laudna it’s like. it seems like #she’s just trying to stir shit up which I Would Love if we got context for the Why #laudna is just as responsible for any situation where her and fcg are disagreeing as fcg would be . because they’re Both disagreeing #also of interesting note but. fearne and fcg are much more in the midst of an obvious disagreement. fearne is a changebringer Hater™ . #anyway my point is that a lot of fcg’s character at the moment is being a weirdo about religion so . don’t be shocked when he’s a weirdo #and also. it’s so so fucking stupid to see (jester voice) The Cleric™ cast turn undead and decide it’s more about interpret conflict #than it is. fcg has a very specific build that can be pretty restrictive in terms of beneficial battle actions. let them use turn undead #cr spoilers #cr tag

[fragmentedblade]

I thought "Forest of Swords" was just a pretty name, but now knowing it's a punishment given by the Ten-Lords Commission I wonder how it links to Blade

#Fragments and scraps #I talk too much #It's the punishment given to the criminal whose capture marked the beginning of the alliance between the Xianzhou and the Foxians iirc #which makes me even more intrigued given the‚ well‚ everything #It's also restricted to name Jingliu to this criminal which is interesting but several of such criminals had this warning listed #So I wonder if there's any particularity here or if she was 'just' the one to apprehend these people #and the story is not much more interesting beyond that. I would love to know though #There are several mentions and names thrown in this that intrigue me very much. I think they make sense #such as Huaiyan being permitted always to visit the Flint Emperor or the marshal of the Xianzhou being the one dealing with Shuhu #but it makes me wonder about them too. Yingxing being the one designing a binding for the criminal that formed delusions to imprison them #in one of their own is very interesting and I'd love to know more about this story. The concept and process. But I guess this will be all #Jing Yuan's name being restricted to be called in front of the criminal they use for interrogations works so well #with how the criminal is being used in exchange for seven days of freedom yearly. That feels such a Jing Yuan move indeed. I loved it #There was a Memorysnatcher that tried to steal the general's memory and I wonder who that was since it wasn't specified #I guess Jing Yuan since we're in the Luofu? That was intriguing too. The previous general was also mentioned at some point #The fact they wonder whether Shuhu is the one in the box is extremely intriguing #especially in the context of what Jingliu said about what Yingxing did #The silence around Imbibitor Lunae is extremely intriguing too but it doesn't surprise me at all. I wonder if it has to be with Jing Yuan #Because that too is a very Jing Yuan move I think. And I love him for that. I adore how he deals with things #I don't talk about him all that much I think but he's one of my favourite characters. Probably my second favourite #I digress... Everything else intrigued me but didn't surprise me all that much #The 'Forest of Swords' mention‚ though‚ I wasn't expecting at all. And maybe I should have‚ given 'Shuhu's gift' #and the mention of being reborn from a husk. Apparently weightless details that later on got a lot of development and importance #I love that they got that treatment. I say this a lot but I truly adore how this game deals with details and how they get developed #ANYWAY this was a joy to read. I see genius craftman Yingxing being mentioned and a reference to Huaiyan existing at all and I go 🥺✨💕 #I wonder if we'll ever meet Huaiyan. Oh‚ or see the Zhuming. I would love to #So many typos but I'm not sure I'll be fixing them. It's annoying #And sorry for not censoring but I go here to put down some thoughts while I play and it's such a hassle to remember to do so #Besides I always seem to forget doing so once or twice and that's enough for the post to appear in the tags anyway

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.

there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.

#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress #maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without #one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not #part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even #close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous #and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be #they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out #ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long #and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more #and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway #i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way #i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i #want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me #and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty #i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close

[kelprot-old]

there's something to be said about the idea of headcanons, and of plastering bits you resonate with onto pre-written characters, in an effort to "see yourself" in them. it's not malicious at all, but sometimes I wonder what the whole purpose of it is.

if it's for some kind of representation, to see certain ideas or traits manifest in a story you like, i would understand but also tell you to just like....go read something else. instead of ordering a hawaiian pizza minus the pineapple, just order a ham and cheese pizza. if that makes sense. lots of people on here love to post all about their favorite stories with queer headcanons, but refuse to take the step outside their realm of comfort and read something that has those queer themes actually interwoven into the story.

other times, people claim to do it just to see themselves reflected more in their favorite characters. which feels equally as flimsy to me. if you can't emphasize or even find enjoyment in a story if the characters dont resemble you (or an idealized you) in some way, then. idk. maybe work on that or something

#thisisnt like. a mean targeted post im moreso just thinking about things. i do this myself sometimes lol im not immune #anyways sorry im stuck at home for 6 weeks so im gonna be posting nonsense like this #in reality none of this really matters too much at all #however as someone who used to be way into this shit when i was a teenager i wonder what kinda purpose it serves? other than the obvious #we're reaching a state online where fiction is restricted more and more to these headcanon-y fandom-like levels of nuance #which is in part due to how many people are just teenagers and dont tend to worry too much about metanarrative discussions #nor is that everyone's cup of tea in the first place #but over the past 5 or so years it feels like more and more people default to this method when it comes to any kind of storytelling #regardless of the initial values of the original media they're discussing. it all gets relegated to this fandom-o-vision #this isn't even tumblr-centric. it's very prevalent on here yes. but every other social media seems to be following in kind #perhaps not with the same exact methods. but the similar lack of nuance feels like its there too #i just worry sometimes. maybe it isnt that important. but. oh well #im gonna go make myself a delicious milkshake

[gifti3]

Im in such an obey me mood today haha

other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)

im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves

So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out

And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/

Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho

#ik its just a silly joke type text but i do like to take these things and overthink them and apply them to real life #its just interesting to me cause ik the answers will never come so its like a brain exercise or something #eating disorder tw #just to be safe #but yea.................. #im gonna just go off in the tags cause im just wondering about when this would be useful cause regular veggies are the better choice to me #ig that could be useful in a very specific circumstance where you went over calories but still need certain macros..but like...its veggies #going over for some for veggies isnt that big a deal imo but if ur mostly concerned with deficit then ud cut anywhere u can... #u could also like use it to lessen the calories in the dish overall and maybe add more of the ingredients u actually like #tho i feel like it would not remove that many calories in the first place #and ud probably wouldnt even get to add that much more of what u actually want in comparison #and then...ur gonna be hungry cause u took away a big volume of the food which was the regular vegetables #but for me when im making food the last thing im worried about in my dish is the freaking vegetables #im trying to add more veggies and less of everything else ._. #i feel like this would make more sense if it was like a sugary treat #especially if this is supposed to be a thing that helps with cravings #u get to eat and enjoy the thing without consequence (for the most part) while eating a more restrictive diet #tho it would probably be even more dangerous than the veggies when it comes to overeating... #idk how the demon biology works but it seems about the same to humans but just more durable #and with asmos eating habits...i can already see in my minds eye whats gonna go down #it just seems like a bad idea all around to tell him about this! #obey me nightbringer

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it #its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul #crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to #say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to #let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to #physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill #somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes #energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating #and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make #work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics #so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while #i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation #rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all #the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals #like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too #but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them #if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she #works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology #i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying #at least i get to work with some culturs this week #unrelated

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #fuck. I might just be a straight woman. #like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood. #sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity. #anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life #because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am #yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men #I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others #and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up #and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did. #all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track. #and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself #but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself #still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event. #I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool. #I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it #talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things #and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic #but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's. #and this is how my identity works. #it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives. #we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way. #anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend #we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good #he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think. #which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel #the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.

[sluttish-armchair]

Ok but thinking back to how I was in elementary and middle school: I had such disdain for other kids who broke the rules, that I irrationally hated a whole bunch of kids — kids I would have made good friends with — all because I couldn’t stand the fact that they engaged in conflicts with, and affronts to authority figures or standards.

It even went as far as internally mocking a kid my age — calling him “Mama’s Boy” in my head — over the fact that his mother whispered comments into his ear, which he mumbled unintelligibly into the mic, and then would fall asleep as if dead on her arm. I perceived his inability to give comments on his own, and his sleeping, as moral failings of both mother and child; because I wasn’t raised like that. And maybe, those feelings also came from jealousy. I was expected to fight off sleep all the time because I could read at a college level in third grade, and could theoretically understand the material presented at the meetings despite it still being inappropriate for my age group.

I was so far deep into the “bad associations spoil useful habits” mindset that it made me hate my fellow neurodivergents — kids I would have been friends with — who maybe couldn’t hide it as well as I could. That is beyond fucked up. Now, I work with those very kids I disliked so much as a child, and guess what? They are my absolute favorite people to be around; and many of them remind me of myself.

#exjw #ableism tw #I’m also just very uptight about rules anyway; so the whole cult thing did not help that part of me At All #I often find myself more concerned with doing things “correctly” than I am with doing the right thing in non-serious scenarios #and it’s kind of scary because like… how much of a sheep am I? #Would I torture someone if an authority figure I trusted ordered me to because it’s what I’m “supposed” to do? #Most of it comes from a desire for consistency: If [x] happens; then do [y]. So every time [x] happens; [y] is the correct response #and this — like the laws of physics — Cannot Change #Except of course the real world is vague and variable and there is a lot of grey area to work with in coming up with solutions #so doing [y] when [x] happens may make things worse than if you do [z] instead #This makes a lot more sense when you consider I was taught how to play chess at a very young age by my father #who bragged about being a “chess player” with regard to real world problems #Yes chess is strategy; but you’re also playing on a grid and your movements are entirely restricted by the rules of gameplay #My father can’t leave the cult that traumatized him because he loves Jehovah #he can’t go to the meetings to serve the god he loves because it triggers his trauma #he can’t talk to a therapist about his religious trauma to get over it because he would be defaming Jehovah #If life is a game of chess then he’s checkmated #But here’s the thing: the game is imaginary and the rules are made up #Viewing real life as a chess board is extremely unhealthy for your free will #Which is why in this essay about Nineteen Eighty Four I will—

[thegreatbeyondmp3]

bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick

#i dont wanna go but literally if i miss another day they could fire me 😬 #i don't have covid at least according to the home tests but like. i still have a cold or something #and i can't call out because our time is so restricted #and its not even the worst attendance policy i know of but it still sucks to have to work around #esp coming from my last job where i could take off literally as much time as i needed to basically whenever i needed/wanted to #added on top of the fact that i just don't want to fuckin be there anyway #and that im scared im gonna pick up covid bc my immune system is currently weakened #ugh. i have to get through tomorrow and the next day #and then im off again #and then im on one more day before im back off again #so i will have a rest day again pretty soon at least #after being off the last three days #(the first was my legit day off but it was very busy and few days before that were the roughest of a tough couple of weeks - #the second i took off bc i had to babysit and. being completely honest. i watched all of fellow travelers thr night before. and esp after #how bad a time id been personally having lately. all the suffering and the loneliness and the romance just hit me so hard #tbh i just felt like i deserved a break and i could do some work at home to balance things out - #third day i woke up feeling sick and coughing pretty hard and just feeling generally miserable. which continued for most of the day. #but with less coughing until now bc im laying down) #i just wish i could take an extra day or two to actually kick this 😭 #sorry this is so long i can get locquacious when im tired

[drewsaturday]

i think a big reason x-men tas was so good is like, they're all adults! jubilee is probs a teen but within a few episodes you just get all this angsty adult drama about logan running off bc unrequited jean feels or the lifelong tumultuous homoerotic relationship of xavier and magneto etc instead of having to pretend you care about a bunch of teenagers dealing with awkward first kiss bullshit

#xm tag #like even as a kid i just ALWAYS cared so much more abt the adult characters and yeah there's a lot wrong with me but #to get a kid-targeted cartoon that's actually focused on adults instead is SO nice #and like obvs yeah if ur looking at superhero cartoons - young justice and teen titans? chefs kiss #but x-men evo just didn't hit the same as tas did for me #i think as well - and i talk abt this a lot when it comes to 90's queer subtext - the restrictions of it #being a kid-targeted show almost makes things feel more natural #bc they cant just show the adults sucking and fucking after 2 minutes of forced tension #they Have to give us subtleties and it just appeals to me a lot more bc it all feels a lot more natural #anyway i will also acknowledge the execution of this show can be very awkward lmaooo but i think like #it's not that hard to get what i mean #i THInk my order of preference looking back for the ones i watched was tas > wolverine and the xmen > evo #and i watched a bunch of avengers cartoons as well with similar effect #OH AND ALSO villains tend to be adults even when the mains are kids which is... another fun thing to latch onto lol

[nomaishuttle]

now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .

#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a #lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to #let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards #2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads #and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly. #but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette #esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know. #so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i #feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow #apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt #i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect #bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo #the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots #+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe #this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr #legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio... #IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room #AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br... #grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[