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#which means it has been this whole time because I no longer turn my PC off at the end of the day like I did before ~mid 2022
olessan · 1 year
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I am stressed :(
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#IF YOU READ THESE TAGS DON'T SEND ME KOFI THINGS OR ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO VENT BEFORE I EXPLODE#(I do have stickers and stuff on redbubble tho)#my PC's bsods/crashes are worse (1 every week or so and sometimes 2 a day I've had 2 in the past 3 hours)#and I'm pretty sure the root issue is the RAM is bad#which means it has been this whole time because I no longer turn my PC off at the end of the day like I did before ~mid 2022#and I don't have $300 to buy new RAM#and idk if I can get a replacement 3 years after purchase#and even if I do I will have to open it up and pull the RAM out and have no PC for probably a few weeks#and having just my phone will absolutely fuck with me like it did when I first moved in this house#and I need 2 usb sticks to properly diagnose and possibly need to repair some corrupt windows files#which I haven't done before#And meanwhile my fucked up premolar is falling out of my jawbone and is loose and I keep bumping it and it doesn't hurt as much as it shoul#and I am near to an abscess at any given time because of it and I need to get more shots because I don't want to go#without updated vaccinations but also having a tooth removed and one or two more cavities filled is very expensive#and I don't have any income so I have $4.80 to my name#and I need to work from home because of anxiety and I can't do that while my PC is having issues#I got a bsod earlier and got in Minecraft to play a little and got a second BSOD after just 2 hours#they're RAM related (memory_management and faulty_hardware_corrupted_page#but I am worried about the side effects of this many#I can't find any suitable work anyway and I need a new photo ID and those are $50 and my weekly income from studies/surveys/etc is about#about that and I am already living on about $30 of food a week (frozen pizzas and party pies and stuff + liquid breakfasts so I get some#minerals and vitamins) and I would rather scrape by then sign up for social security because of the horrible draconian shit they put people#though just to keep a payment that is 1/4th minimum wage and not liveable in the slightest#(THE PIZZAS GIVE ME FAT PROTEIN CARBS FIBRE AND A LOT OF KJ they are efficient)#(I would love to cook)#(I budgeted out meal prepping and it came out to costing twice as much for the same food if I bought the cheapest ingredients)#( and also same amount of food I eat once a day (1/2 pizza or equiv ~300g/3000kj/700cal) and use chocolate to carry me through the middle)#(the chocolate also keeps me focused and my mood up)#every single BSOD massively spikes my anxiety and it locks me up and I just fret for a while and I am cautious about drawing because it#can happen at any time and I don't want to lose things I've worked hard on
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skysometric · 4 months
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my 3rd favorite game that i played in 2023 is...
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Freedom Planet 2
i was originally planning to wait on this one until the console version came out in "summer 2023." after it was delayed to the end of the year, i decided to grab the game on pc so i didn't have to wait… and i'm glad i did, because the console versions have been delayed a second time??
(i do not envy their situation and i hope the console versions are better for taking their time. honestly, i'll probably double dip anyway!)
the original Freedom Planet was a formative game experience for me during college. there was something inspiring about the way it shot for the moon – full voice acting, a fun cast of characters, a lived-in world with political intrigue, a focus on adding fast-paced combat – all trying to prove that it's more than just a Sonic fangame in new clothes.
and it worked. it gripped me and never let go! i must've replayed the story half a dozen times, speedran the levels dozens of times each. that's the reason i decided not to wait on the sequel any longer after the first console delay; i grabbed the game on pc and hit the ground running.
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one aspect of what makes Freedom Planet special is its level design, and the sequel delivers – every single level is massive, open-ended, and absolutely GORGEOUS. the unique gimmicks, secret collectibles, and speedrun strats are what encouraged me to endlessly replay the first game, and each of those categories has been expanded here into some of the beefiest and most explorable levels i've ever seen in a 2D platformer, hands down. i'm so glad the sequel took its time in the oven, the levels alone were worth the wait!
to me, though, what really makes Freedom Planet stand out from other Sonic-inspired games is its fast and fluid brawling. enemies in each stage take a few hits to defeat, and every stage ends with a grand, bombastic boss fight – you get a handful of moves to tackle these fights with, and each character has very different fighting playstyles! crucially, though, there is no contact damage, meaning you can run circles around enemies while whacking away at their health bars with momentum-based attacks.
it's an incredibly fun and well-thought-out combat system, and its complexity is right at that sweet spot where it feels deep but not overwhelming. honestly it reminds me a lot of kirby's combat, which is one of my favorite combat systems in any video game! (that RtDL remake very nearly made my Top 5 this year…)
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Freedom Planet 2 augments the combat system of the original in two ways. one is the addition of a spot-dodge, which feels so perfectly at home that i'm shocked it wasn't in the first game to begin with?? every game with combat benefits from the addition of a dodge, of course, but in this game especially it allows you to keep your momentum while attacking in a way that just feels so natural. there's nothing else quite like learning a boss's attack pattern enough to spot-dodge directly into a powerful counterattack!
but there's also nothing quite so discouraging as getting the boss's health down to a sliver… and biting the dust. here, too, is a place where the sequel shines: if you lose a life, you can choose to restart from a checkpoint with all your health recovered, or you can get back up on the spot with just 1 HP. the push and pull on this system is incredible – you risk getting a game over and having to redo the whole stage… but you could clutch out a victory at the last second! it has the capacity to turn near misses into huge successes, and it saved my ass countless times over the course of the adventure.
tying this all together is a great story that isn't quite as Big and Grand as the first game, but instead serves to deepen the connection between this loveable cast of characters by exploring their history and personalities in more detail. i'm still floored by the fact that these games have full voice acting – it truly makes the characters feel more alive, their personalities shine! the style of VA isn't everyone's cup of tea, i'm well aware… but as someone with fond memories of saturday morning cartoons, i find that it's very genuine and full of heart in a way that most films and AAA games don't really hit me. it's obvious that everyone involved had a ton of fun!
my one regret is that i haven't returned to the game since my first playthrough – i'd really like to replay those levels and see how fast i can clear them! and try out the other characters, and see what the arcade mode is like, and go for the achievements, and…
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elphael · 2 years
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Do you have any advice / resources / ancient magics to make, like. Combat flowcharts or something of that nature to streamline decision making?
We're coming into the final battle of our campaign and the DM asked us to find ways to help make combat smoother – we're averaging an hour per round, with dozens of abilities and items each, and us DPS rolling upwards of 20 dice per turn. Obviously by now we've found ways to streamline (pre rolling, side chat, etc) but if we hit a snag on WHAT to do bc of a Counterspell or silence or someone going down, it comes screeching to a halt.
IDK you feel like someone who probably has an excel spreadsheet accounting for every possible scenario :P
funnily enough i have been toying with the idea of switching my own personal technique for combat tracking as a player to a spreadsheet which i recently did with encounter tracking from the DM side, but I haven't really dug into that at all because I know it would make me lose my mind trying to set up the automation while making it look aesthetically pleasing.
that being said, i have two pieces of commentary and i'll also share a few of my own strategies as well as two personal anecdotes to try to explain what i mean:
a) don't make a flow chart. no clue if you'll see these posts but as of writing this (12pm EST July 13th) I've just gone on a minor rampage talking about how I don't think flow charts are worth it even though that's the one of the current pieces meta in online TTRPG spaces because of aabria / laerynn, which is fine if it works for her and it IS fine if it works for other people.
however, in my opinion, i think flow charts will do a bad job of preparing anyone for the unpredictability of combat and will actually pigeonhole you into using the same strategies over and over again because they look good on paper and are written down in front of you. i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to write down cool combos or have information in front of you (spoiler alert, i do that) but i think the term flow chart and the idea of an 'if/then' structure is going to be fundamentally useless and stress inducing.
b) speaking as someone whose been on both the player and dm side of this, if your rounds of combat are taking over an hour, this is an entire table problem. this is on the dm for their encounter design / the pace they take as the opposition (whether it's managing too many NPCS/monsters; too complicated statblocks, or indecision) as well as their need to keep things flowing at the table. It also largely depends on party size, if you're a big party, a longer round is normal, but everyone should be moving fairly fast. i'd ask your table as a whole what they think the issue is and and how to remedy it as a whole, not just one 'side' of the table.
now onto my strategies for both of these things. i'm going to explain my version of 'flow charts' last because it'll have screenshots and get long and i want to put something else before i slap in a readmore
my #1 tip for how to pay attention in combat and how to be better at combat is use other players turns to develop your strategy.
use their turns. pay attention to what they're doing so you can base your next turn off of the current state of the board, listen to what they're doing so you can remind them 'hey you've got a bardic' or if you can throw a reaction to counterspell, throw it then. otherwise: this is the time to look up your spells or other complicated abilities and make sure you've read the fine print. that way when it gets to your turn in combat you have the most informed, updated plan of what you can do.
now i'll throw my pc combat tracker under the cut as well as some personal anecdotes for why i think flow charts aren't the right choice
i've made an extensive post about how i think the best thing someone can do when designing a character's combat strategy and options is think about your action economy.
now, ignore anything that looks not RAW, this was a oneshot with funky combat rules (everyone had action surge and extra attack regardless of class; dm is insane for this) and i was using a homebrew warlock subclass, but the fundamental layout is the exact same i use for any character, I just like this example because it's not too crowded
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fuck a flow chart, all you need is your abilities laid out in front of you. I think it is much more helpful to sort via action economy and leave shorthand for myself on what things do and use another document or something like 5etools to keep all of the fine print for when I need to look into them.
Then, the ability tracker is key. Not only does this help you keep track of what resources you've expended, it keeps everything super close together. i left the attacks / item information section in this screenshot because it shows that this is quite literally the only thing i'm looking at in combat 95% of the time. my health and AC is at the top of my sheet because that's how my sheets are structured but frankly, if i switch over to spreadsheet pc combat trackers they'll be smushed in here as well.
this gives you all of your fundamental information laid out in front of you so you can develop your strategy on the fly and make the most of every single piece of your action economy you have. I also enjoy having the miscellaneous actions section because again, sometimes i forget they exist and they're quite good. also occasionally i'll use item information or ability tracking to keep little notes for myself when i have something like bardic inspiration or want to remind myself to cast a spell.
why i find this more useful than a flow chart is that it lets you rely on your own intuition and the situation at play instead of a set strategy, which really just doesn't work for dnd in my opinion.
why i think flow charts aren't a great idea i've already talked about but here are two personal stories from recent combat that i think summarize it with an actual play example:
Curse of Strahd, Yester Hill Fight. The gimmick of which was that the druids were concentrating on summoning animals that were whooping our ass and were super spread out. we needed to crush their concentration as fast as possible. In one turn, I beat the concentration out of two different druids a bit over 150 ft. apart. How? I was hasted. A situational thing that you couldn't plan for in a flow chart. I also had no idea WHAT the encounter would look like to plan for it. I had to rely on what the circumstances were and what I had on my character sheet in front of me. Ophelia uses Dhampir stats so i had a 35 ft. movement speed, with haste that's 70 ft. + a hasted action. I used blood cursed of the mark to deal extra damage and gain advantage (bonus action) and my first attack (action) to make a bite attack against one druid. It hit, and because I'm a mage slayer they have disadvantage on their concentration check. I also used bite empowerment (free action) to get a bonus to my next ability check or attack roll. I then used my hasted action to dash, moving 140 ft towards the other druid, to make my second attack (still of my attack action), with a +7 (i believe) additional bonus to hit, and used lunging attack (free action) on my chainwhip to get the 15 ft reach necessary to hit the second. The attack landed, and the druid again, had disadvantage on concentration. Both druids dropped concentration. This is a turn you cannot replicate on a flow chart. There's no logical reason in a vacuum to take one attack, dash and move 140 ft away and take your second attack. There's no way to even know you could move that far. Why I was able to do this was because I was able to look at my action economy and all of my abilities in a condensed way and calculate how to use every single thing I possibly could to do what we needed to do to get control back over the encounter.
The Frayed Mind. This is an example from Gestalt game so ignore if the abilities sound absolutely bonkers powerful, they are, but the same theory of planning a flow chart around 'the most optimal choices' isn't helpful. Rualinn's build is primarily based around stacking upcasted shadow blade (psychic damage) and smites (radiant). The boss we were fighting, the Frayed Mind, as well as most of the enemies in this area, were immune to psychic damage. This meant my character's primary strength and what she was built to do wasn't going to cut it here. Which is fine, I love a challenge, and I think DMs SHOULD challenge what they know their players can do to make them think outside of the box. So what I had to do for this entire arc was realize: I could not play Rualinn optimally the way I built her to fight, however, I still had a ton of versatility and options to readjust as needed. I started relying more on physical damage she could do as well as using her spellcasting for more than just smites. I used her radiant consumption for the first time, used my action surge to cast Fly for maneuverability on the battlefield instead of extra attacks, used Watchers Will for the first time as well. It was a super fun area and boss fight even though I was getting my ass kicked, it made me play to the other strengths of the build I put together. If you put together a list of just the most optimal choices, you won't ever see what the unoptimized choices are. And frankly, most of the time you'll have to make 'unoptimized' choices. Combat is about making due with the situation and the the best you can do the moment.
tldr; i think using flow charts pigeonholes you into options that sound good but could end up not being applicable / keep you from being prepared for things going wrong, the individual challenges of boons of combat you can't predict, etc.
if you want to get 'good' at combat, know your action economy, track your abilities, and use other players turns to plan your strategy as the encounter changes and develops. your plan on the wizard's turn might change by the time you hit the cleric's turn because the fighter's now been knocked and you're the person who could get them up fasted instead of attacking, etc etc.
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whatsupzombie · 2 years
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what if! i post art to tumblr again? :o this is Hazard-13, my guardian from destiny 2, so i guess this is technically fanart? pff. anyway, @artnyarn​ asked me to tell her about them, so i guess i’m doing that hereeee.
there’s. a lot to talk about with destiny. but to start, Hazard-13 is an exo, which is the robot race in destiny. they were all once people who had a snapshot of their brains taken (a fatal process for the body) and uploaded into a metal chassis. the process was created by, tbh kind of a mad scientist some 600 years before game canon time, and afaik, the only exos left in the world are either those still functional since then (the process was meant to make people immortal, after all) or those raised as guardians. 
guardians are the pcs of destiny. they are people (human, exo, or awoken, which is sometimes described as “neo-human”) who were raised by ghosts, the lil flying robot talking to Hazard. they’re generally shaped like this:
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Hazard’s ghost is called Crowley and he’s got a little paper bat hat. the ghosts are lil machines created by the Traveler, which is a giant orb and may or may not be a god. it terraformed nearly every planet and moon in the solar system, allowing humanity to spread out and technology to advance wildly quickly.
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the Traveler is currently hovering over the Last City, named so because it’s essentially where most of civilization on earth has gathered, under the Traveler’s protection. now. the Traveler uses/has/is made of (???) Light, which the ghosts use to find and raise their guardians. guardians weaponize Light to fight enemies with, basically, magic abilities (and also guns pff). the story is also moving less toward light is good and dark is bad, so guardians are now also making use of Darkness, which is neat. 
anyhow, when a ghost raises a guardian to fight for the Traveler, that guardian is from then on effectively immortal, able to be revived by their ghost whenever they die. guardians end up forming very close bonds with their ghosts, and it goes both ways.
oh also! when guardians are raised, they don’t have any memories. the idea is kind of that being raised is a fresh start. tho, there are both ghosts and guardians that go rogue, so it does mean that anyone is incorruptible. 
without getting too deep into that point, exos have numbers after their names to show how many times they’ve been reset. literally. there’s various reasons for resets, the main reason being that existing in a metal body is hard on the mind and exo would sometimes start to lose their minds. there are a multitude of reasons, but the first iteration of an exo is always Name-1. so Hazard has been reset 12 times before they were raised.
no one in current game canon has full access to the workings of exos (that mad scientist guy definitely died 600 years ago and took most of his work with him), so they’re pretty mysterious. 
guardians are also forbidden from looking into who they used to be, based on the premise that they were raised to be given a second chance, so it no longer matters who they used to be. this is obvs frustrating, and hazard occasionally gets annoyed with how many mysteries plague their existence. 
onto the magic part! Hazard is a warlock class guardian, so that means they’re abilities look more like what you would expect magic attacks to look like (mystical floating, summoning fire, that kind of thing). Hazard uses a lot of solar abilities, so that’s a lot of fire damage. those glowing gauntlets they have are called sunbracers, and they amplify their solar power. 
there’s. a lot. that goes on in destiny, but Hazard themself is kind of aloof and annoyed most of the time. they like hanging out alone with Crowley, or with a few close friends. they don’t mind the chaos of the world so much, but the repeated deaths and mysteries do wear on them from time to time. and, there’s rarely a time they’ll turn down a request for help, even if they sound annoyed they whole time. 
this is very long!!! tbh, it’s interesting to have a character with no actual backstory, so most of their story is the plot of the game or what they’re reactions would be. 
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bonny-kookoo · 3 years
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Under Your Skin (JJK x Reader) | 🔞
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Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Goth/Punk!Jeon Jungkook x Secretary!Shy!Reader
Genre: Tattoo artist!AU, Badboy x Sweetgirl AU, Idk what else
Tags/Warnings: Ultimate goodboy Kook, He looks grr but is actually sweet, shy reader, smol reader, Kookers is WHIPPED, Also a tease, Dom!Jungkook because how could I not, Sub!Reader, Babygirl!Reader, Its not heavy on the whole ddlg-stuff but yeah they be having some vibes y'know, don't come @ me don't I'm not forcing you to read it lol, anyways moving on, because smut, yes I mean it's my content, and yall nasty admit it, slight hair pulling, manhandling also only a little, oral (f & m receiving), praising, mentions of emotional and physical insecurities, but Kook be supportive so we good, back to the nasty, body worship yes pls, biting, fingering, because why not, protected sex because we keep it clean in this household, light-hearted sex, kook being a romantic goof, yeah I think thats it?
Summary: Jungkook looks like absolute trouble; like one wrong look could set him off, and turn him into an absolute murderer. But oh well, ever heard the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'?
A/N: you might have noticed me only putting one emoji up top. I have decided to from now on only mark my adult fics with emojis (which is basically almost every single one lets be real). Also; stop reading my fucking fics if any of the tagged/warned things make you uncomfortable. I'm tired of everyone clowning in my inbox telling me how disgusting ddlg/smut content is. You can't even tell me you 'read it by accident' because that's why I'm always putting the cut underneath my fics =) so pls go finish preschool and then we can maybe shake hands. Maybe not. Covid and all. Yeah.
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On the outside, Jeon Jungkook seems like absolute trouble.
He's working at a tattoo and piercing studio, dresses in all black, clattering chains and heavy boots always alerting everyone around of his presence. His long black hair is never truly tamed, his nails painted black, and his face expressionless most of the time. He's a talented artist and well trained piercer, always visiting conventions to keep up with the newest trends, styles, and equipment there is. He takes his job seriously- and is proud of it, knowing that he had proven his family wrong by now. They had been worried about him; especially his mother had scolded him that he shouldn't throw his time away trying to make it in a world of art many had already failed. But last year, he had finally invited them over to his rather nice apartment, showing them that he was living a good life, with nothing to really worry about.
Jungkook had made it.
Well, not quite.
Because as of currently, Jungkook had a new mission, a new goal.
"Ah, Jungkook!" You say, eyes sparkling as you smile at him when he enters the shop he works at. You had recently started to work there as well, since Taehyung was absolute shit at keeping files in order and track of schedules. You hadn't applied for the job specifically, that's at least what his coworker had told him- he had known you prior already, and was aware that you had wanted a change these days.
And Jungkook had been painfully crushing on you ever since you started.
"Your schedule for the week is already here- I uhm.. didn't put it on your desk cause, I didn't want to intrude your space and all.." You say, giving him a small black booklet where you always noted down his appointments. He appreciated it a lot- knowing how much of a hassle it could be to move dates back and forth just to somehow make it fit. You always made sure that he had enough time in between multiple daily pieces in case something took longer or less so you could make sure to be able to move things accordingly. You didn't want him to get overworked, you had said. He had smiled.
"Thanks- and you can go inside, no problem." He says, and you nod. "I know you don't make a mess, like someone else here." He says, hinting at Namjoon, who was known to be quite clumsy- yet a mastermind when it came to designing pieces he struggled with. Jungkook stayed at your front desk for a bit, making you tilt your head a bit, as you tried not to stare. He always took so much care of himself, you would have had to be blind not to see how attractive he actually was. But then again, you didn't get your hopes up- after all, he was nice to almost everyone around. "You've never been in there, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. You haven't been in his space at all- too scared to invade his privacy and making him upset in the process. "I mean- you got time right now? I can show you around." He casually tells you, and you look at your computer screen in front of you. Everything had been filed for today- so you probably had a bit of time to spare.
"Sure." You said, taking your phone and standing up from your chair, making sure to lock the pc so no one would accidentally make a mess out of your tabs. Or worse; close them. God knows all hell would break loose.
Jungkook had to really force himself not to let out any noise as you walked next to him.
You were so tiny next to him.
He wasn't that tall to be honest- with Namjoon and Taehyung both taller than him, he knew he was average at best. And for the longest time, he'd had a thing for tall girls, all elegant and confident. He still liked their aesthetic, yes- but now that he spotted you, he could really see the appeal of having a shorter significant other.
You were so cute.
You carefully stepped inside when Jungkook lifted the curtain that was used instead of a door, surprised to see how.. organized everything was. A little.. off- some things seemed to be randomly put somewhere, but in general, it seemed like everything had their proper spot. "I like to have it like this." He comments, and you nod your head to that, finally spotting his tattoo-gun. It was made out of purple steel- polished, and changing its hue depending on how you looked at it. It was absolutely beautiful, even though you had a rather limited understanding of these things. "Was a present from Taehyung last year." Jungkook says, sitting down on his chair. "I never asked- are you inked at all?" He asks, leaning backwards as you stand there a little awkwardly. "You can sit down somewhere, don't be so tense." He chuckles, and you look around, before you sit on the stretcher across from him. You shake your head, and Jungkook isn't surprised. Your pink converse sway back and forth as you sit on the stretcher, legs too short to reach the floor anymore as you rest your hands underneath your thighs; hem of your dress revealing more of them than he can usually see.
"I don't have any tattoos yet, but I've been talking to Namjoon about it." You said, and Jungkooks saliva tastes a little bitter at that. He doesn't want to pout or give away that it's bugging him at all that you're not talking to him about it- but he fails miserably. "Namjoon actually said I should talk to you about it, since the style I want fits you best." You say, and he can't hide his smile, bunny teeth on full display as he leans forward a bit.
"You'd let me tattoo you?" He asks, and you shrug, before nodding. "What do you have in Mind?" He instantly asks, not even bothering to hide his excitement.
If only you knew that it's because of you; and not just because he's gonna be the first to ink you.
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You've both agreed on a design you want, and Jungkook can't deny that he thinks it's absolutely perfect on you.
"Are you scared?" Jungkook asks you as he prepares everything, his sweater's sleeves rolled up, revealing his own body art to you, as well as some bracelets; one that you recognize as the wooden-bead bracelet you had gifted him last year for his birthday. It was weird to see him wear it.
"I.. no. Just nervous." You say. "I'm worried I might cry and make a fool out of myself." You say with a laugh, and Jungkook chuckles, placing a reassuring and warm hand on your upper arm.
"It's fine. I've seen grown man cry like kids on this stretcher before." He casually says. "Don't worry; I won't think any less of you just because of some tears." He says with a smile, and you nod, turning your head to look at his room's walls instead; covered in drawings, sketches, and pictures of finished works he was most proud of. "Do you want anything to hold onto?" He asks, as he starts to shave the skin of your thigh to make sure he can work as best as possible. He's so into his work, so concentrated on doing everything perfect, that he doesn't even take much into account that you're laying in only your panties and oversized sweater; skirt neatly placed on a chair in the corner of the room, to get it out of the way.
"It's fine" You mumble, although you really want to. So instead you curl your fingers around the fabric of your sweater- something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, who decides not to comment on it for now. He simply throws the one-time razor away as well as the tissues used to clean your skin, before he carefully places the tracing paper onto where he seems fit.
"I think it would look great right here." He says lowly, carefully removing the paper to reveal the lines he's gonna trace with his gun in a few minutes. "You wanna look at it again?" He asks, and you shake your head. "Alright." He says, before he gets up and walks out his room; only to return with your small squishy and round unicorn plush that's usually sitting on your desk. "To hold onto." He winks, and you chuckle at that.
Jungkook really pays attention.
"So, Taehyung has told me you're a bit younger than me." Jungkook says to start casual chit-chat, trying to help your nervousness as his tattoo-gun starts to buzz to live. "Only a Year if I remember correctly." He says, and you nod.
"Yeah.." You say, and can't hide your dissapoinment flooding your voice. Jungkook, until now, only had relationships with girls older than him. He's even said before that he just likes having someone older than him around- which made you even more nervous around him.
"You sound upset about that." He chuckles, and gently holds onto your thigh as you jump a bit when he first presses the tip of the gun down. "Sorry. I'll be gentle." He lowly tells you, and you swallow.
Not the time Y/N, not the time.
"Uhm.." You say, fingers digging into the squishy plush in your hands. "I.. there's someone I like, but he.. only likes older girls, so.." You say, and Jungkook glances at you. You're already interested in someone? He continues to trace the lines, wiping afterwards to get the excess ink and blood off. "But I mean, then again I don't think I have a chance with him anyways." You chuckle, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head. Even if you're interested in someone else, he shouldn't let you have thoughts like that.
"Highly doubt that." He says. "If he doesn't see you, he's blind." He tells you, and you giggle, glad that he's able to make you feel a bit better about everything. "I'm serious." He says, and you nod at that, watching his inked arm flex every now and then as he draws with absolute concentration; black facemask hiding half of his face. You can see the way his eyebrows furrow, eyes fixated on his work as he moves with absolute routine. "Do I know the guy?" He casually asks, before he dips the tip of his gun in the tiny pot of ink again.
You don't know what to say.
He looks at you for a second, and decides not to dig. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry if I seemed nosy; didn't mean to." He apologizes, and you shake your head to let him know its fine. It's quiet for a moment afterwards, only the buzzing of his gun and your occasional whine of pain. "Sorry; it'll hurt a bit more now since I'm getting close to your inner thigh- that's always a little more sensitive." He comments, and you really hope he doesn't pay much attention to your panties.
When you can see his eyes stick to them for a second, you really want to just disappear.
He doesn't comment on it though. What is he suppsosed to say? He really doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, and considering that you already have a crush on someone else, he doesn't want to get himself in too deep as well. He simply works away, finally finishing the thin and delicate outlines of your piece- the first step, before he will see you again for color and shading. He finally connects the last line, and doesn't think twice about what he says next.
"Good girl."
It takes a second that feels way too long for the both of you to register the words, and Jungkook quickly occupies himself with turning off his gun and cleaning up your skin and his workspace to get the awkwardness out of his room. You try to instantly stand up, but his palm holds onto your leg- silently ordering you to stay put, which you do. He rubs something over the piece, before he gently lifts your leg to wrap it. "I'll give you a bottle of lotion for it. Leave that bandage on for.. I'd say until tomorrow morning at least. Afterwards, apply the lotion everyday to help it heal properly." He lectures you with a gentle voice, before letting you sit up.
"Thanks." You say, grinning eagerly at the now hidden artwork on your leg. Jungkook chuckles.
"We're not done yet, but I'll take it." He says. "I uh.." He starts, as you jump off the stretcher and go to take on your skirt. "uhm, you up for some fast food?" He asks, a bit hurried, before he can chicken out again. And he hates himself for a moment, because you had literally told him just half an hour before that you already had interest in someone else. But maybe you were too innocent to get his innuendo, maybe you wouldn't get that he was asking you on a date-
"Like a date?" You ask, and he really wants to hit himself.
"I mean, if you want it to be?" He says, swallowing as he averts his gaze, a sight very weird. His hand runs through his hair, chain around his neck and piercings on his ears clattering against each other and making sounds as he moves, his combat boots nervously tapping the floor a little. "It doesn't have to be.. I know you're already-"
"I'd love to." You say however, now fully dressed again, as you grin with your bright sparkling eyes.
And Jungkook feels like he's won the lottery.
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It's your third time laying on Jungkooks' stretcher like this- waiting for him to work on your art, finishing it today. But the energy is different.
Things are different between you two in general.
After some casual movie dates and rounds of overwatch, Jungkook had admitted to you that he had a crush. It was rushed, while he was driving, so he didn't have to look at you and instantly get hit by your reaction. But then, you had told him that you felt the same- and the two of you agreed to let things process from then on. Whatever would happen; you would let happen.
And Jungkook was starting to flirt with you.
It was a little weird to get close to him like that. While everyone seeing you two was a little taken aback- with your dresses and skirts, and colorful and almost childish personality, he seemed like the absolute opposite- quiet, all dark and dangerous while carrying your milkshake so you could put your phone away into your purse.
"Alright doll, let's finish this." He said with newfound enthusiasm, winking at you as you laughed at his demeanor.
"You seemed more excited than me!" You say, and he chuckles. "You're really desperate to have me gone?" You say in a playfully upset tone, and he simply huffs out a breath, before cockily looking at you for a second.
"That's not true." He says. "I'd just rather have you laid out somewhere else than in my studio, that's all." He casually says, and you shut your mouth at that, cheeks red as he laughs at your cute display of embarrassment. He routinely prepares your skin, before he starts his gun. "Too much?" He asks, and you know he's not talking about the pressure of his ink filled gun on your skin.
"No-" You start, and he now seriously speaks to you, voice a bit muffled through his facemask.
"Please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable." He says. "You're not upsetting me if you tell me I'm going to far." He says, and you nod, knowing that he now needs a proper answer. Jungkook is way more attentive and romantic than people may think he is. He's a gentleman pulled out of a dictionary- careful and gentle with you, and always keen on getting to know you for you, and not for the person you like to portray yourself as. He wants to know what you like, what you don't like, what you dream of, and what you hate about yourself.
"Don't worry- I will." You say, watching him work on your skin. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply to let you know he's listening. "Is it okay if I sleep?" You ask, and he chuckles.
"Didn't I tell you not to stay up for too long before I left yesterday?" He teasingly retorts back to you, and you pout at him- with no hard feelings behind it. He had left last night after eating with you for dinner at your place; and he did indeed tell you to go to sleep a little earlier since he knew you would have an early shift today, opening up the store. "I'm really tempted to say no." He says, eyes now on your skin again as he dips the tip of his gun in a pot of color. "You know, as punishment for not listening." He mumbles, and you almost don't catch it.
Almost.
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"Jungkook?" Taehyung stands in his doorway, finally finding him sitting at his desk. "Oh?" He says in a surprised tone, spotting your sleeping figure on his coworkers lap- head resting against the inside of his shoulder, with your arms around his middle.
"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, not at all shy or fazed by the fact that Taehyung is looking at you. "What is it?" He asks again, as Taehyung smiles, giving the younger man his small booklet that you usually give him every morning.
"Nothing left for today." He said. "Just wanted to tell you good work and send you home." The older one explains, zipping up his own jacket. "Guess she'll be coming with you?" He asks teasingly, but Jungkook doesn't bite the bait at all.
"Yeah. Don't burn the house down while we're gone, you two. " He says, slipping the booklet into his pocket before he pats your back. "Come on doll, let's go home." He tells you, waking you up at least enough to put on your shoes and lead you out the store to his car.
He buckles your seatbelt as the engine comes alive, radio playing its tune softly in the background as he drives you home. "You awake doll?" He asks, and you nod your head, turning towards him with barely open eyes. "You haven't had anything proper to eat today, so I'll make us some ramen at my place, ok?" He asks, and you nod, before your eyebrows scrunch up. "What is it?" He chuckles, and you now grow more awake.
"Wait- but if we eat at yours then you're gonna have to drive me home late." You say, and he shrugs. "Noo, Kook, what if you crash the car because you're sleepy?" You tell him with a whine, genuinely concerned for him, as he has the audacity to laugh. "Kookie, it's not funny I swear to god-!" You say, and he apologizes.
"I mean." He starts, casually dropping what he had wanted to ask you for a couple of weeks now. "You could always just stay over." He tells you, and you look at him, meeting his gaze at the red light he stops at, his head turned towards you for a moment until the lights turn green again.
"We.. would have to stop at mine so I could get some stuff though.." You mumble, and Jungkook looks at you with newfound enthusiasm, setting his turning lights to enter a different road.
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It's in a parking lot that you first unintentionally confront him with your biggest insecurities and flaws.
You've tripped over a stray stone you didn't see laying on the ground, leading you to fall onto your hands and scraping your knees open. Just like any normal human being, you dust yourself off, instantly hoping that Jungkook inside the shop hadn't seen you fail at something so basic as walking. You had carried some of the items you two had bought into the car while also returning the shopping cart while he had payed- and by the look on his face, he had definitely seen you.
He wasn't laughing, or hiding his grin, or anything alike. He looked concerned, taking his card back from the cashier before walking out the store, jogging towards you, who sat in the open trunk, ready to get laughed at. Even though somewhere deep in your mind you didn't think he would, past experiences had led to you now having that fear, no matter with whom. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, looking at you as he squats down to take a look at your bleeding knees. He reaches into one of the shopping bags, taking out a water bottle and a pack of tissues, before he wets it, one hand holding your leg by the backside of your knee, while the other carefully cleans the small wound. "You gotta be careful Baby." He chuckles a little- nothing like the laughter you had expected.
"I'm fine." You say, not looking up at him.
"It's okay to cry, you know?" He says, and you stay quiet, trying not to breathe too much as you desperately hold them back. "I won't laugh." He promises, deciding not to look at you as to give you a bit more space.
"People will stare though.." You quietly murmur towards him, and he finishes his job, before he goes to throw the now used tissue away in a nearby trashcan. When he returns, he's taking his jacket off, the item way too large on your form as he throws it over you, pulling the hood up as you look at him for the first time since your little accident, eyes sparkling with unshed tears when he pulls the sides of the hood towards him a little. "There." He says, a reassuring smile on his face. "Now no one can see you but me." He tells you. "And I will never, ever, laugh at you." He promises, and pulls your head against his chest, as you start to let go.
He really hates to see you cry- but he's glad that you're letting him in enough to let him see you this way.
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Jungkook is frustrated.
He tries not to really show it, because he doesn't want to blow up in your face like that, but then again, you're kind of the reason he feels the way he does. Because even though he thought you both had a genuine connection, you're yet to let him touch you.
And not just hugging and holding hands.
It's not that he's impatient- its because he knows you, at one point, wanted him that way as well. But something happened, something he didn't notice, that made you take ten steps backwards from him. You seemed to be retreating, giving up, and he has no idea what he had done to make you react that way.
As far as he knows, he had done everything right.
But then he sees them; the messages sent back and forth between you and Hana, a returning customer at the shop- well known to flirt with everyone around here. Jungkook himself had actually considered hooking up with her once a year back, simply to make her shut up, but then again, he wasn't into one-night-stands. And she had never truly been his type anyways.
'Ah yeah, just re-schedule that then, I don't mind at all! Just make sure we have enough time together, since we haven't had time to catch up on things recently, if you know what I mean.' She had sent, a week ago; exactly the timeframe you had started to distance yourself. He knew he shouldn't look into it, but then again- this was his business too. He had the right to know.
'Sure? I can give you an appointment at around 4 PM then, so you'll be the last one. Would that be okay with you? Again, sorry for re-scheduling on such short notice.' You had written, and Jungkook can't decide if you had been oblivious to her implication (which was bullshit), or if you were simply too polite to call her out. But it's the next messages that make him fume.
'Again, no troubles. As I said, I only care that its Jungkookie, I don't really trust anyone else with my body that way ;). 4 PM is perfect, you guys still close at around 6 PM right? He's got skilled hands, I'm sure we don't need much more time, if you know what I mean.' she has the audacity to write.
But its your answer that makes him fume.
'Good to know.'
"Jungkook?" You say, looking at the screen, as you suddenly dash forwards, trying to shut the screen off- as if that would make any difference. But he catches your wrist with ease, holding it in his palm as he looks at you.
"Do you think I'm sleeping with her?" He asks, and you try to escape his grasp; and he lets you, staying at your workspace however as he keeps you locked in place with his gaze. "Y/N." He urges, making you look away from him.
"It's none of my business." You say, shrugging. "I.. No, it's-" You start, but he cuts you off.
"No, finish that sentence. 'No' what?" He says, and you've never heard him talk like that.
"I just.. didn't think you'd.. do that." You meekly say, murmuring it as he tilts your head gently upwards to look at him; his face now more relaxed as he softly smiles.
"That's good that you think that way." He tells you. "Because I don't do that at all." He says. "She likes to start drama all the time- was probably bitter I turned her down so much. You know what?" He suddenly says, turning towards the screen as he clicks to change the account, opening his own Inbox as he starts to write an E-Mail.
'Appointment is cancelled, be glad I'm not suing you for defamation. JK.'
"Jungkook-" You say, trying to get him not to send it- but it's already gone. "Why would you do that? Just because I misunderstood?" You whine, and he chuckles, shutting down the system as he looks at the clock, signaling that it's closing time.
"No." He says. "But because I don't want her around anyways, and this gives me a proper reason." He tells you, ruffling your hair as he looks at you. "You coming?" He asks, and you nod, taking your bag and coat before following him out the shop.
In the car, you finally speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums out a reply. "Do you.. think I'm attractive?" You ask, and he clears his throat at the unexpected question.
"I- what?" He asks, unsure what you mean.
"Just.. Namjoon said, that he thinks you.. see me as a friend only? Because I'm nothing like the girls you dated before.. If I misunderstood something here then Oh my god-" You start to ramble, and Jungkook laughs suddenly.
"You think I'm not into you?" He asks, and you shrug. "Of course I want to fuck you doll." He casually comments, and you can't help but feel your cheeks redden. "Wait- did you really think I didn't?" He asks, face showing genuine horror as he looks over at you.
"I mean.. you never really initiated anything so I thought.." You started, and he groans out.
Thank god you're staying the night.
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"Looks so pretty, does it?" He hums out, palm running over the tattoo on your thigh, delicate lines and well-placed shadings complimenting the colors perfectly. "You know why I love it most?" He starts, hand suddenly gripping the flesh for a moment, before he pulls you closer on his lap by the small of your back. "Because that's mine." He says, before he leans in, placing an open mouthed kiss against your pulse. "The ink that's under your skin, the design, the idea-" He mumbles against your skin. "And the body it's drawn on." You whine at his tone, dark and low, as he urges you back and forth on his clothed thigh- your panties suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Isn't it like that, baby?" He asks, and you nod, furiously, and he chuckles. "Hm, you seem out of breath baby.." He grins at you, like a predator.
"Jungkook.." You whine, not knowing what you're asking for.
He wordlessly moves, helping you lay down on his bed before he crawls over you, his lips instantly attached to the skin of your neck, hands helping you out of your dress wordlessly, as he can't help but let his gaze linger on your body for a moment. "I can't believe that-" He says, pulling off your overknee socks. "-you'd ever think of yourself anything less than perfect." He says, placing a gentle kiss to the colorful image now forever placed under your skin by his skilled hands. He continues to display his affection over your skin, wandering over your stomach up to your chest, where he playfully bites just above your breast. He struggles with the front of your bra for a second, unsure how to open the undergarment without breaking it, as you help a little; letting them spring free. But only for a moment.
Because in the next, he's got them in his hands, palms gently moving over them, feeling their softness as he groans. "You're so sweet." he comments, as he finally kisses your lips, smile interrupting him every now and then. "So soft." Another kiss. "So delicate." Another one. "And all mine, yeah?" He asks, and you nod, smiling as he grins back, the expression making him look so young and carefree you can't help but wonder how anyone could ever think he's a bad man.
He's anything but.
He's so careful touching you, so delicate in moving his palms over your skin, as if its the most divine thing he's ever felt. He's still smiling, as if in a trance, while he can't stop kissing you. Your hands move into his hair- way softer than you thought it would be, and he groans into your mouth at the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp.
There's no urgency in anything he does.
He slowly moves again, hands opening your legs for him as he sits back on his heels, playfully pulling you closer by the backs of your knees, making you giggle. "You sound so sweet baby." He tells you, innocently, as if he's not currently placing his hand onto your center, ring finger collecting your already leaking wetness before he spreads it, moving his thumb over your most sensitive bundle of nerves while his ring finger enters you slowly. You whine at the feeling, not enough to get you as riled up as you'd like to be. Also; this is the first time you're genuinely experiencing foreplay. You don't know what to do- and Jungkook seems to pick up on that. "You good?" He asks, and you nod.
"I.." You say, breathless as he tilts his head, smile still present on his lips. "What should I do?" You ask, as his eyes widen.
"You?" He wonders, before he stops for a moment. "Don't tell me- this is your first time?" He asks, now genuinely worried he might've gone too fast.
"No.." You admit. "But uhm.. no one's ever, like.. you know, what you're doing.." You say, and that's when it clicks for him.
What kind of guys did you date before him that never gave you any attention like this? He's upset by it, but also weirdly cheered on by that simple fact; it gives him even more reason to make sure you'll get the most out of it. "Ah, I see.." He humms out, letting another finger stretch your entrance for him. "..well, I'm not like that." He explains, before he moves, face now close to your center- and you're unsure what he's going to do. "Trust me." He says, mumbles out, before his tongue places itself flat onto your clit, licking painfully slow as you move your hands over your mouth, trying to keep your noises in. "nuh-uh baby." He scolds, free hand pulling yours away. "Let me hear you." He demands, before he places his mouth back where it was.
Your mind is completely blank at this moment, the only thing you can really concentrate on being Jungkook, working you up so quickly you feel dizzy. It's new, and it's a little weird- but it's more than anything you've ever experienced before. And it brings you towards your end so suddenly you suddenly gasp out, back arching off the mattress as you grab at the sheets below, one hand grasping for Jungkooks, who lets you ride out your high to its fullest. "So pretty." He comments after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling at your blissed out state.
"Kook-" You say, moving as you sit up, less shy now that your brain is still clouded by pleasure.
"Ah- you don't have to." He tells you, but you shake your head, and he lets you. He slips out of his clothes, finally bare, and you would've taken time to look at all the different pieces of art decorating his body- if it wasn't for his cock, red and ready in front of you. Usually, you would've let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. But this was Jungkook. And you wanted to really believe that nothing you would do could ever be judged by him. So there was no hesitation as your hands reached out for him, gently moving, before you took him in, your lips wrapping themselves around his tip, before you moved downwards, fitting as much as you comfortably could. Meanwhile, Jungkook himself was steadying himself with one hand on the mattress, while the other was buried into your hair, his own head thrown back as he closed his eyes.
Of course he had fantasized about this every now and then; but he had never thought you'd actually be comfortable doing it. And even if- nothing he could've imagined would've ever compared to the real deal happening. There was something absolutely mindblowing about the way that you handled him, your sweet and pretty presence looking so divine doing such a sinful act with him. He had to pull you off by your hair, gently, because any more, and he would've been a goner. "G-Good god baby." He chuckles, pushing you a bit so you were on your back again, reaching for his bedside table to search for a condom. "I swear to god if I- HAH!" He tells you in victory, hands making quick work of opening the foil package and wrapping the safety over his length. "I swear I would've run out butt naked to buy one if I wouldn't have found this." He says with a grin, making you laugh.
"That's weird." You comment, and he chuckles, entering you slowly as to not hurt you, his breathing labored as he still kept the lighthearted energy going.
"You think?" He asks, and you nod, giggling as your eyes close, the feeling of him filling you up too good to keep them open. "Hm no." He said breathlessly. "Would've probably put on some pants maybe." He says, before he starts thrusting. "Doesn't matter if it means I'd get to fuck you." He says, and you giggle again.
"Kook!" You scold him, and he still continues to thrust into you, exhaling forcefully as he kisses your neck.
"What?" He whines high pitched as if to imitate you.
"Be serious!" You tell him, but can't help your own smile either.
"Oh, why though?" He says. "We're making love, not war baby." He whispers into your ear, and you still laugh at it.
"I can't believe you!" You complain playfully, moaning out when he suddenly thrusts with more force, obscene noises now interrupting you two as he picks up his pace, clenching his jaw.
"And-" He starts. "I can't believe how fucking good you feel." He presses out, hand now reaching between the two of you as he brings you towards an earth-shattering orgasm, making you mewl as you can feel yourself bursting. "Good girl!" He praises, watching as you squirt all over him, his own orgasm hitting him soon after as he grunts out, finally slowing down until he stills completely, his mouth attached to your neck to place gentle kisses and teasing bites near your pulse point.
"I love you." He mumbles out, and your eyes sting.
Because yeah, you love him- you absolutely do, but hearing it from him, hearing it in such an honest and warm-hearted tone, having this final proof of his own feelings towards you, makes you emotional. "Baby, why're you crying?" He chuckles out of breath, wiping your tears as you smile, and finally look at him with glossy eyes.
"Cause I love you too." You say. "So much."
And he can't help but grin at you.
You really are the sweetest thing.
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You watch as Hana walks out of Taehyungs studio, arm wrapped up in clear foil as she walks towards your counter, pulling out her purse. "Taehyung agreed on 345." She says, until Taehyung yells another number out of his studio, making her eyes roll. She wasn't supposed to come back- but Taehyung had agreed to finish her piece at least. "Alright, here you go." She says, watching as you counted the money. "Does Jungkook work today?" She asks, and you nod. "I'm just gonna go say hi then. You can finish the receipt yeah?" She says overly sweet, and you're about to tell her that Jungkook doesn't want anyone entering without his permission, but he's already walking out his studio, black sweater and silver necklaces on full display as he walks towards you. "Jungkookie!" Hana exclaims, but her face drops almost chomically as she watches Jungkook walk up behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder as he looks over it onto your screen.
"Oh, looks like I'm done for the day. You need anything Hana?" He asks innocently, one hand on your desk while the other rests on your chair behind your back.
"I- just wanted to apologize for uhm.. the emails. I didn't know you'd read them." She says, and you slowly close all programs, while Jungkooks humms out something.
"Yeah, I figured." He says, before he shakes his head. "As I said, I'm letting it go. No hard feelings." He says, shrugging, before he walks towards his studio again, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Ah, baby, can you text Jin-Hyung and ask him if we can come now? I'm actually starving I swear." He says, and you nod with red cheeks, pulling out your phone.
"Huh." Comes from Hana, as she takes the receipt from you. "I honestly.. would've never thought." She mumbles, before she simply leaves, without any more words.
Yeah. You would've honestly never thought either.
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(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.com/bonnykookoo. Thank you for reading.
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977 notes · View notes
hacked-by-jake · 3 years
Text
Take you home ²
𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞...
>𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷
Summary: Jake can’t accept that this has been done to you, the thought torments him, and all he wants is revenge, and he gets it.
Words: 4,2k
Genre: Angst / Fluff
Warnings: Swearing, insulting
A/n: Well, hi.
So, this one has taken on some dimensions again, they weren’t planned, about 3k. Now, it is a bit more. Actually, the whole thing should not be quite so extensive, but well, once Jake starts, he doesn’t stop.
Thank you alls so much for the support in part one, I was really surprised. And thank you very much for wishing Part Two, which means a lot to me. ❤️
So, that’s a bit more related to alternative two of part one. Actually, it was supposed to get a little darker and generally the plan was different. The ending should be different and longer, but I think it’s good as it is now.
I hope you’ll like it.
And apologize for the mistakes.
(I think I wanted to say more but I forgot xD)
Anyway, have fun, stay healthy and take care of yourselves.❤️🌹🎭
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There lies the hacker now, in the early morning hours, not even the sun has risen already, wide awake, full of emotions and agitated.
In his arms, you, fortunately asleep, deep and firm.
He also wanted to sleep, he has been trying for two hours but it doesn’t work. And how should he? After the past hours it is practically impossible to sleep.
The only reason you sleep is probably the effort you had to experience. Your body was finished after the shower. You were still shivering from the adrenaline, agitated and yet so terribly tired.
So now he lies here, doesn’t know what to do with himself, doesn’t know how to react, how to feel. TThe pure fear that lay in your voice when the call came suddenly, gives him goose bumps again, crawling all over his body.
This fearful tone of your voice won’t let it go.
What if he hadn’t been there in time? If he hadn’t been able to save you in time? If it took him a minute longer? If something had gone wrong?
He can’t even imagine what could have happened. At this horrible imagination in his head, he pinches his eyes tightly. Try to remove the images from his head that make him sick, he would like to vomit, so horrible is the thought of it. He shakes his head, tries to drive away the thoughts, but they don’t go away. His fingernails drill deep and firmly into the skin of his palms. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, and if he still squeezes even harder, he’ll start bleeding, but he has no control over it. In his mind, the worst scenarios circle and he can only imagine, if even he feel so bad now, how bad did you feel in this moment?
He controls himself to be quiet, exhorts himself to loosen up again so as not to wake you. You need sleep. You deserve sleep. But these pictures, these fucking pictures, they're not going away. The imagination that someone would touch you- NO!
The hacker opens his eyes wide! He must not go in this direction, he must look straight out and make sure that you get your revenge, as you deserve! That he protects your honor, that he makes everyone see what happens when someone wants to do something bad to you.
He’s Jake, one of the best hackers in the world and now he’s gonna show what he’s capable of.
-
His breath is so heavy, so full of anger and hatred, so full of negativity that he would like to hit the next wall.
He bites his lower lip when he thinks about leaving you here alone. He needs to be in his study. He just has to find out who this guy was. That bastard.
Just really reluctant, actually he would just like to lie here with you, but he has to, he's winds cautiously out of your embrace.
He can’t lie here and wait, he has to do something. Now!
Even if he feels weird with it, he opens the laptop that is in his bedroom and directs it so that he can see your sleeping shape. He will simply connect the laptop to his PC to keep an eye on you. As soon as you get restless or wake up, he could be with you right away.
That’s how he’s gonna do it.
He gives you a final and gentle kiss on the forehead before going to his study.
-
After he has prepared his work setup and everything is ready, he wastes no time and immediately gets to work. Quickly scan the data of the man who was tracking you.
Everything that had ever happened in his life, the hacker would find out now. And of course, the most important information is quickly obtained.
Name
Age
Date of birth
Address
All bank accounts
His social security number
Where he grew up
As what he works
What friends he has
With whom he is friends
His pets
On what elementary school he went
On what high school he went
Who his parents are
The siblings
All information about each individual family member
And at the very end, the police certificate of conduct with all the information who are important for him. And that’s more interesting than he thought. The further he read the information from the police, the more his emotional state changes.
It starts with drug abuse
Bodily injury in two cases
Insult
Gun possession
Domestic violence against his ex girlfriend
....
The list is shockingly long: a two-year stay in a prison, probation and community service.
The further Jake read, the more worried he is that he couldn’t have been there in time with bad luck. But he’s all the happier he could save you.
At the same time, he’s thinking about telling you who the guy is, because he doesn’t know how you’re gonna take this information. But he would worry more about that later.
As he glances at the laptop’s camera, a smile creeps up on his lips. Meanwhile, you are lying on his side of the bed, your arms are tightly wrapped around his pillow and your head is pressing into the soft fabric, as if you were looking for his proximity in your sleep.
How perfect can a person be? How perfect is this beautiful being lying in his bed? Immediately the tingling starts in his stomach, as always when it comes to you.
He’s so terribly in love. So insanely strong.
Again, he begins to regret that it has not progressed further between you. Everyone knows that he loves you, and everyone knows that you love him. And yet you both have not yet managed to finally do what you both so much want. But the fear of destroying everything is so great. You two spend so much time with each other, become best friends, best friends who feel more for each other than just friendship.
In addition, his fear of putting you in danger is added. He is not a simple man, no one who prefers a regular daily life, no fixed working hours, no fixed income, even if he earns more than most others. As a hacker you have one or the other possibility. Nevertheless, he is still wanted by the government. Not as strong, and the danger is not as great as it was a few months ago, but it still exists.
But last night’s incident somehow inspired him to think, and he feels different when he thinks about it. He wants you, he wants you with everything you have, he wants you by his side. He always wants to protect you, he always wants to be there for you, he wants you by his side, he doesn’t want to live alone in this apartment anymore. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, he needs you, he has always done it and he will always need you, he wants you so bad!
This incident clearly shows that life is always uncertain, and this incident shows him that he is lying to himself. He wants to be able to say that you’re a couple, he wants it so badly. So fucking urgent.
"I want to share my life with you," the hacker murmurs, driving through his face with his hands. Now his thoughts have drifted in another direction again, but you’re just sitting in every corner of his mind. You are the biggest and most important part of his life and that since the first time you met.
But now something else is more important. After that, he can think of you a lot, but now revenge counts.
He breathes in and out again before turning back to the screens and begins to gather more information.
-
About half an hour later, he releases himself from his cramped posture. The further he delves into the life of the man, the more aggressive he becomes.
This guy’s not a petty criminal, the way he thought he was, this guy’s got dirt on him through and through.
And the further he reads, the more he wonders why this guy is on the loose and not in a maximum security prison.
From organized crime to gang activities. Drug dealing, counterfeit money, prositution. All the shit every gang is involved in.
Disgusting chat histories, images, threats of other people, extort protection money. And the hacker just assumed the guy is just a disgusting bastard. But he thought wrong.
And yet, it’s actually only good for him, really very good, because Jake has now a lot more options than he thought.
He thinks hard about how to proceed. How best to tackle this whole situation, so that he has the best chance of success.
But what’s also positive for is the fact that this guy really doesn’t deserve anything other than what the hacker’s up to.
To destroy a person’s whole life is actually nothing that he would do; he simply cannot reconcile this with his morality. Even if it’s about you, but now he’s not just doing it for you, he’s doing it for everyone. This is a favor he does to the whole society.
Oh and he’ll do it with pleasure.
-
Meanwhile, he has gained access to the man’s laptop and can take a closer look at the living room. He also got lucky and found some camera shots taken by a bakery that is on the street where you were being followed.
Unfortunately, it has no sound and yet it is more than enough. He saved the recording and censored you on it.You don’t have to be broadcast in video format all over the world.
But it is still clear that he's persecutes you. It is more bad than quite recognizable on the videos that he is angry and that he shouts something, but when you see the video, everything is explained by itself.
That was number one on his list.
Let's continue with point two.
And point two is a summary of all the information he could find that could even remotely involve anything criminal.
And this is a really long list, he can prove everything, he can prove every single point. With all the information that will help.
Videos, chats, pictures, recording of conversations. Locations, meeting places, other names.
Because his plan has changed, and it’s not just about destroying this man anymore, it’s about destroying all the criminals around him.
-
Point two, finish! Now, point three, and that’s the confrontation with the man.
The most important information is in front of him as he puts on his headset and leans back relaxed.
The recording program runs as soon as he turns on his microphone. The recording is automatically converted into the computer voice and then sent as a video along with his sign, the eye, as a gift to his new friend.
He puts one leg over the other and folds his arms in front of his chest.
"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."
-
And send.
Soon the man’s cell phone will start ringing, and it will only stop when he gets up and then listens to the hacker’s nice message on his laptop, which will breaking his little world in which he lives.
But it’s his own fault.
A look at the camera of his own laptop tells him that you still sleep quietly and calmly, which makes him happy. -
The ringing of the mobile phone and the terrible ringtone of the persecutor annoy the hacker so slowly. He didn’t think it would be that long before Ted wake up. But when it finally happens and a door is opened, a slightly arrogant grin appears on Jake’s face.
It’s Showtime.
"What the hell?" grumbles the sleepy guy as Jake makes the video file pop up.
The eye flickers on the screen and Ted skeptically approaches it.
He pulls back his desk chair and sits down.
"What the fuck?" he hisses angrily and pushes a button on the keyboard.
"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."
Amused and eager, Jake follows the course of the situation.
Ted becomes more and more hectic, the more facts the computer voice enumerates. He probably didn’t expect this to ever come to light. He wildly presses all the buttons he can find, tries to turn off the laptop but he has absolutely no control over it.
At the very end, after all the crimes have been enumerated, the computer voice informs him that he has video footage of his nocturnal activity.
"That was a big mistake, Ted, and it’s time you understood that you understand how unimportant you are in this world"
-
After Jake has decided to leave Ted alone, with the knowing that he can now say goodbye to his life as he knows it, he move on to point 4.
And point 4 involves sending all the information to everyone who can do something with it. But don't worry, that’s not the finale.
The finale will be something special.
Everything collected is sent first to the police in Duskwood. He doesn’t think much will happen, but the police will certainly not be the agency that will take care of Ted, in the end.
After the police, Jake sends the information to his place of work. He won’t be needing the job in a few hours anyway even longer.
Then his sister gets an e-mail with everything there is about her brother. Because Jake found out that poor girl always had to take care of him. Had to pick him out of the cell at night, had to pick him up of the hospital one or the other time and things like that. Among other things, good Ted broke into her apartment once, but this was not reported to the police. Jake saw in a chat that Ted promised to stop doing criminal things. This didn’t work out that way. The hacker feel sorry for the sister, she certainly doesn’t deserve it and yet this is about more than just that.
And after all the important people have received the information, he finally go to the final, which the hacker is most looking forward to before he can finally return to you.
Back to you, to his bed where you lie, this day can’t be more beautiful, can it?
Well, the morning show on TV sounds good, doesn’t it? The channel is littered with scandals and really unscrupulous means of getting attention.
No one will be angry with him if the actual broadcast is interrupted for a few minutes to do something good. And to appease his vengeance. All he has to do is fade in everything, play the video and the rest would come by itself. The spread on the Internet. The information is forwarded to other authorities like the State Police Authorities as it is about more than just the pursuit after revenge for his love. Gang crime is not liked by the state.
So then, curtain up, the final begins.
-
About half an hour later, now it is shortly before 9  in the morning, the whole took longer than he had expected, he sinks back on the soft mattress. Satisfaction spreads and seeing you sleep so peacefully also makes him tired.
Carefully he pulls the blanket over himself and then grabs again around your body to bring you back into his arms. He hides his head in your neck bend and a few moments he falls asleep with a smile on his face.
He couldn’t stop himself from posting some things on Ted’s Instagram page for his personal feeling. Pictures that Ted prefers not to watch for the Internet, but Jake doesn’t care; in a few hours, Ted will never have access to the Internet again. Hopefully Ted makes friends in prison fast, or it won’t be so funny for him.
Well, don’t mess with the hacker’s love.
----------
When you open your eyes, Jake still lies peacefully asleep beside you.
His hair stands wildly off his head and he has put his arms protective around you. Immediately a feeling of home spreads within you and you smile.
His body nestles warm against yours and you wish you could always wake up like that.
Bu, if you didn’t have to use the bathroom.
Carefully peel out from under his arms without waking him.
With leaving Jake’s arms and getting out of bed, the first pictures of last night immediately come back into your head. A few moments you stare at the wall before you shake your head. You don’t want to think about it. Actually, you never want to have to think about it again, you just want to forget it, focus on everything that’s more important now. And this is you, your feeling that you don’t want to get involved in this situation, you don’t want to leave room for this man. You don’t want him to have room in your life, and you don’t want to investigate any further. Actually, you don’t want to know who this guy is. You just want to focus on how lucky you were, that everything went well, that Jake saved you, and that nothing happened to you.
Jake!
You want to focus on Jake! And most importantly, that you finally want to be with him! He was there to save you right away. He was ready to help you immediately, he protected you, especially the way he protected you. The way he sounded, as if he was doing everything he could to save you. And this irrational fear that this could not work with you two, it’s bullshit! You want him with everything he has and you don’t want to be just friends anymore. You long for his lips, for his kisses that don’t just go on your forehead or cheek. You want to finally be able to say that you are a couple, you want him so badly, so damn badly.
Like a miracle cure, the thought of Jake really distracts you. You didn’t even know where your thoughts went, it just happened. But it always is, it’s just in every corner of your mind.
-
After you left the bathroom, you turned on the coffee machine. You’d stay awake and pass the time until Jake wakes up and you could have some breakfast. While the coffee is cooking, you drop down on the small sofa in the hacker’s living room and decide to pass the time with a little bit TV.
You switch through the channels looking for something interesting but don’t really find something you like.
When the Coffee machine gives you confirmation that the hot drink is ready, you quickly jump up and leave the remote control there.
While you prepare your coffee, you listen to an advertisement about an electronic toothbrush and then one about the latest vacuum cleaner.
With your cup you go back and then put a thin blanket from the sofa around your legs.
The News Show that you sometimes see starts broadcasting.
And you really expected a lot, really a lot, but you never expected what was actually going on.
While the news announcer reports on a gang crime, a picture is displayed. There’s a man to be seen, and you’re a thousand percent sure that’s the man who chased you yesterday.
Silently and with your mouth open you are listening as a whole gang was arrested, warehouses and factories were stormed. Drugs and counterfeit money were confiscated and in the end, how a hacker uncovered all this.
During the narration about hacking another channel and the materials shown there such as images and video, your heart begins to beat faster and faster.
And when it is shown what was published there, you put your hand infront your mouth in shock.
"Oh my-" you watch the camera shots where you can clearly see the street, which is only a few streets away from your apartment.
And then you see a censored shadow running, a few moments later a man.
You and the man who was now identified as Ted.
Jake.
That was Jake, you know it!
You don’t know how to react. While the pictures and videos scare you, since this man met you yesterday, you feel moved to tears on the other side. When the hell did he do that?
Did he do it because of you?
Where does he get so much information? Sure, he’s a hacker but THAT?
When the news anchor finally ends her post with the words "This man will probably never see the light of day again" and "The whole Internet speaks about this man and the victim who was persecuted by him. When you see this, we wish you all well!"
You have the feeling that you are breathing again for the first time. Like you’ve been holding your breath all this time without noticing.
You stutter at things, try to explain, sort out and understand your feelings. But somehow, just like last night, it’s too unreal.
"You shouldn’t know that in this way"
Startled you turn around as Jake’s sleepy voice appears behind you.
He's leaning in the door frame and yawns once.
With an open mouth you stare at him, "Did you-?" but you break off immediately because you have no idea what to say.
"Is everything okay? Shouldn’t I have do that? I wanted to tell you myself but now it’s too late. I wanted to teach you gently," explains the hacker, and his gaze slowly turns into a worried one.
"Did you- I mean- you were -" you stutter, can’t bring out a normal sentence. Point you to the TV, to you and back to Jake.
"I’m sorry, MC, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything," he explains straight away." It was just, I don’t know, I was so mad! I still am! This disgusting bastard was following you, he-"quickly breaks off. His hands are clenched into fists, his eyebrows pulled together and his breath accelerated. However, he doesn’t want to remind you unnecessarily, even if that didn’t work out so well through the news. He really has to hold back from screaming completely and somehow making sure that Ted gets more than what he already has.
"No Jake, I-I" you just can’t find the right words and before you know it, you threw yourself awkwardly over the sofa, rolled over it and stood two steps later directly in front of Jake. Without control, you reach into his neck with one hand and pull his head down towards you. Not quite gently your lips hit on his.
And just as quickly as the kiss came about, you finish it as quickly.
"Oh, um, I... so.. I-" you laugh nervously, still holding his head. "Um, sorry?"
Jake also laughs nervously.
"I shouldn’t have done that," a little embarrassed, you let go of his neck and kick a few steps away from him.
"No, no, everything was fine, I thought it was great, so I mean-" a slight redness adorns Jake’s cheeks.
"Sorry" you mumble with a much too high voice and try yourself on a grin that probably looks like you’re in pain. Jake makes an waving off hand move, then it’s quiet between you for a moment. You chew on the inside of your cheek and let your foot slide across the floor in a semicircle, "Did you..- Did you say you thought it was great?" You ask as unimpressed as possible, as if it were a question about the weather.
Jake’s eyes grow big, "Did you find it bad?"
"No, no, of course not!" you assure him quickly." It was great, I would do it again and again."
You sigh.
Smiling, you put one hand to your forehead and look back at the hacker. Jake smiles too, and then you start laughing out loud. Until you have to hold your stomach and the first tears run out of your eyes.
"We’re so ridiculous," you chuckle, shaking your head over you two.
"Do you think?" Jake asks, grinning, "I find us great together"
"Me too" you agree and look back at him.
"Jake I-"
"MC I-"
At the same time you start to speak and then both of you are immediately silent to let the other go first.
"Do you first" you offer and he returns it to you.
"No, I’m fine, say what you wanted to say," you confirm.
"I can wait, you start"
You’re twisting her eyes again.
However, Jake understands this wrong and at the same time the magic words leave your lips "I love you"
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Masterlist
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And thank you @a-d-alison your submission gave me a lot of motivation🤭❤️
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170 notes · View notes
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My Last Post: The Anon Harasser
This is going to be a long one. I may be losing followers for this: I no longer care and Im out of fcks to give. I will stick to posting my Nilfgaardian content and ignore this person who has blatantly called me out BY NAME several times, which is very rude. I’ve ignored this person for several months then bam! I see my name again on their latest post. I wont stoop to that level and instead say that this persons’ name sounds like “sand-in-my- shorts” (insert StarWars joke). 
Unlike Sandy (not real name), I will blot out their name and face. If anyone recognize you, Sandy, well, you've made yourself infamous with your well documented MO, and posting them with your face as the background. (Translation is done through an image to text translator so I included the original text)
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I also do not appreciate insulting followers, calling them “minions” or “fools”, and I’m not the only content creator whom you also called a fool and their followers fools. I had hoped that after blocking you for your passive aggressiveness and telling you to move on and leave me alone, you’d move on and leave me alone! Instead, you fixated on me and send me hostile anon msgs. Either you or your pack of hyenas.  But apparently, you get off from posting venom about me and others. And then I receive the latest post on your page with all the usual lies. Since you’re hell-bent on besmirching my name, let’s go over the  post of me on your TUMBLR:
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1. There it is, another name drop. I was in IG first before you and being new to how IG works, I liked a lot of post, including this “another person” you mentioned whom I have no idea you had problems with. I was with the rest who tried lifting your spirits. Turns out, this person was right in calling you toxic. But I stayed nevertheless because of our mutual support for Nilfgaard.
2.Ignored “really good post” is subjective and depends on the viewer. I liked some of your post and it’s my right to exercise liking any post. Promoted even some of them in the stories. Just because we both like Nilfgaard  doesn’t mean I will blindly like everything you put out there. You also did not liked some of my post and I did not raise a stink about it. Your “daughter OC” replaced Ciri completely that Emhyr forgot about her, is a whole new universe that doesn’t sit right by me so I chose to withheld liking it. Other than that, some were good.
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3. That was not a discussion: the thread was becoming long with your opinion that the ship has no future, to which I reply that Im not making a fic about this nor do I have time to worry about every rarepair in the fandom that goes against my corner of the fandom multiverse -which Ciri and Morvran are together and your OCs do not exist: only in your corner of the multiverse. Still you wont stop, so I had to close the topic with this reply (reader, pay attention to the final sentence.)
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As to why I blocked? Remember this under the old name of your account? See the lifted last sentence?
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4. This was a team effort, with me coming up with the writing of the announcement, assigning who posts whom: I even have the final draft saved on MS WORD. So this was not planned by one person. As for partner relation, I was relatively new to IG and no idea how to partner up with anyone. It was after the parting of ways that I learned how to partner with fellow creators.
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5. I have been making screenshots of my PS4 gameplay using the share button. And because its a PS4, I have no mods to undress characters. The naked Emhyrs and Morvrans were sent to me by the pc masterace which I use to polish my rough photoshopping skills. Our post never looked the same: you have seen my naked Emhyrs and half naked Morvrans (because you never stopped vagueblogging about them). Undressing W3 characters is not a unique idea nor it became a trend. Fan arts and screenshots of naked Emhyr and Morvran were already here on Tumblr and I wanted to contribute to that small pool. I’ve been on Tumblr longer (I’m a returnee) than I’ve been on IG and I’ve painted many videogame characters in various state of undress.
6. No name was mentioned in that post except for the mention of “green eyes”- the color of jealousy, but it looks like this person just outed themselves here. I did not tell them to go at you with pitchforks, they aren't mindless minions. Even without the name drop these people recognized you through your actions. I posted there for you to MOVE ON and LEAVE ME ALONE. 
You, on the other hand, encouraged your followers (or account clones) to harass someone here for “bullying” where in fact it is you who is the bully.
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Screenshots of the anon msg? Oh no, not those. I meant the ones on Tumblr and IG, and they are definitely yours: account name and all, not to mention your face on display. The advice on tags? You mentioned only that my post did not show on the tags: I found out this is a common issue with people posting on IG using PC so I googled the workaround and posted the tags on the comments instead of on the captions. 
Aren’t you full of yourself? Quite the narcissist, arent we? I’d be unpopular without you? You are my motivation? I started gaining attention because posting pure Nilfgaardian content -both on Tumblr and IG- wasn't getting me anywhere: not even Emhyrs’ photoshopped naked arse, so I posted fan favorites, even asked some creators permission to have their pics posted on my page- complete with name credit and links to their pages. You had a little rant about it, then a few days later posted fan faves too, and -surprise surprise- they were more liked than the Nilfgaard posts!
If there is something I will give you credit for, it is this: Because of your actions, I learned a great deal of tolerance for other’s opinions counter to mine. I learn to embrace and respect the strange fandom and even stranger shipping. Canon lore has its place, and we have our special place where we create OC’s and pair unlikely characters for fun. 
This post wont stop the hostile dms, the lies, the vagueblogging because Sandy is unapologetic, relentless,will continue to bicker with those who goes against the “book canon”, turns around and plays the victim card. But at least I get to speak my peace after nearly a year long hounding.
I will continue to photoshop and post content that I like whether they be clothed or tastefully naked, Nilfgaardian or Nordling. It no longer matters to me if  i get 0 notes: tumblr will just be my gallery- my collection museum.
For my peace of mind, Sandy will be reduced to white noise, I will put anon messaging on hold indefinitely, move on and focus on me, my OC, my simping for Emhyr and my collection.
UPDATE: The entire post on sand-in-my-shorts has been deleted and account name has been changed. Thank god for screenshots!
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orange-waterfalls · 3 years
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G-Bots (TM)
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Googleplier (x4) x viewer!reader
ty anon for the request!
A/N: Funny story! I am no longer physically capable of writing normally! I tried so hard to be normal and just veered off into SCP/Cryptid viewer territory because I like expanding on the idea that the viewer is Not Human! Anyways, you’re hanging out with the Googles. That is it. Nothing is wrong. You do not recognize the bodies in the water haha anyways I think I like went a little creepypasta-esque at the end there but it’s fine I think probably. It’s fine. Might be a little weird in terms of story, but i think this was more focused on world building to me. Probably seen as more platonic than romantic, but see it however you wish. Enjoy!
Word count: 2.5k
G-Bots (TM)
You wheezed just a bit as you sped through wherever-the-fuck you were. Sure, maybe that was a bad idea. Sure, Dark was a little bit threatening and SURE, you were supposed to be back by now, and the fact that you weren’t back with Mark trying to convince him NOT to split up was the tiniest bit problematic. You weren’t even sure this was a building? Were you in the void? Goddammit, not again…
You stopped, concluding that this was bullshit and you did not want to do it right now. You bent over, hands on your knees and took deep breaths. You stared into the emptiness for a bit, then looked around for a moment, just trying to figure things out. You needed to reassess. It was basically one big, long hallway with random twists and terms every few meters. You’d always end up back at the paintings of… them… and knew you’d gone too far. You did that over, and over, and over again. At this point you thought Dark had just forgotten about you. You took a deep breath in and let it out. You stood up straight and looked up at the paintings. You heard their voices echo through your head a bit. You squeezed your eyes shut and your head twitched.
“You’re alright… you’re ok… cool it…” You whispered to yourself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Meditate. Think.
You looked on either side of the hall and, for the first time, you noticed doors extending down into the void and not stopping. You let out a breath. You felt a slight sense of dread. Something was telling you not to enter the rooms. Some little voice in the back of your head that sounded suspiciously like Mark. But, hey, what else were you gonna do?
“Ok… do i want to enter the door on the left or the door on the right?” You asked yourself. You paused to think about it. After a few seconds you felt yourself jerk forward a bit. Your brain felt staticy and you felt compelled to the left. You turned the knob and opened the door slightly. Immediately you heard music that might be in an SCP game, and a voice that sounded suspiciously like “do you recognize the bodies in the water?”. You were hoping no, and you bailed before you had a chance to look. You ended up almost exactly in your previous position in the hall. Your brain felt fuzzy again, and this time you gravitated to the right. You opened the door just a little, maybe to see what was inside, but again you heard the SCP ambiance.
But this time it was from behind you. So, like any smart person, you swung the door open, slammed it behind you and did your best to lock it. But there was no lock. So you stood. Waiting. Nothing happened.
Of course nothing happened. Why would anything happen? Dark wouldn’t want you to get hurt… probably. This was his domain. Probably. If you were alive, it’s because he wanted you to be. If you were in this room, it’s because he wanted you to be.
Speaking of: Where the hell were you?
You turned around to look behind you. In the blank white room there was a single grey couch with all 4 Google androids sitting on it. Apparently they were recharging, because they hadn’t noticed you standing there and also they were plugged into an outlet in the wall. You hadn’t considered that they had to physically plug into something to charge up, but the thought made you snort.
Bad idea.
All of their eyes snapped open at once, revealing the glow of their assigned colors. They all stood up and began walking towards you in unison. You felt a slight sense of dread. Even so, you tried to grab the doorknob, the one that apparently was no longer there, and cursed under your breath when you could only feel the smooth wall behind you. The androids stopped, staring at you. You cleared your throat.
“Hey…” you laughed nervously, “So, uh, funny story, actually-”
“You are not supposed to be here,” The original Googleplier, Blue, stated.
“Well, see, that’s where this whole thing started, um, see, Mark wanted to split up-”
“No human is allowed inside of this room, and not you, either.”
“Well-” You stopped, processing what he said, “Wait. ‘Either’? I’m human.”
“No, you’re not,” Google Green said. You wanted to be offended, but you were more confused.
“What do you mean? I’m human!” You argued.
“What color’s your hair?” Red asked with a mean smirk on his face. You opened your mouth to respond, and an amalgamate of voices saying “BROWNBLACKBLONDEWHITERED” came out. You slapped a hand over your mouth.
“... what the hell was that?” Your muffled voice whispered. Well, you thought it was probably yours.
“What’s your eye color?” BROWNGREENBLUEAMBERYELLOW exited your being before you could even try to answer.
“Do you have any pets?” That one just ended with a computer error sound from you.
“... huh.” You dropped your shoulders a little. The revelation probably should’ve upset you more.
“What are you doing here?”
“I… do not recognize the bodies in the water.” You explained.
“Ah, I see. Darkiplier would want you to not die, therefore you may stay.”
“Ha. Wow. Who knew the Googleplier androids-”
“G-Bots.”
“... what?”
“We are legally not allowed to use the name ‘Google’ anymore. We are now G-Bots.”
“... legally.”
“We were discontinued. And sold. And signed a contract.”
“So does that mean I can’t call you Google anymore?”
“No, that is simply my name. The name of us as androids, however, is now G-Bots.”
“Ok. What about them?” You pointed to the other three.
“Yellow is Oliver, Green is Lee, Red is Elliott.”
“And you’re just Google?”
“They’ve been trying to change my name to Gregor. I deeply dislike it.”
“It’s a good name.” Oliver suggested, smiling.
“Means vigilant.” Lee shrugged.
“Don’t be a pussy, Greg.” Elliott adopted a shit-eating grin as he leaned a little closer to Google.
“You can do… whatever you wish. Just do not be like them, DA.” Google instructed through gritted teeth.
The room began to shift color and expand. The couch was still grey in the center, but there were now four sections of each of the colors. The yellow section was filled with flowers, with a laptop on a desk next to a switch and a little Vector robot sitting by on the windowsill that showed a colorful meadow with bees buzzing to and fro. It glitched for a moment, so you knew the window wasn’t real. The green section had large houseplants and looked a bit like a greenhouse, and had an Xbox hooked up to a TV in the corner and seemed to have a view of a lake in the faux-window. The red section had miscellaneous wires and computer parts and lights here and there, looking like a fire hazard, and a PC on a table, while the window showed what appeared to be space. Google’s section was absolutely spotless, not a single thing anywhere, apart from a tiny skateboard next to a PS4 in the corner, and the window showed computer code.
“Wow.” You said. You might be stuck here for a while, so you might as well enjoy it.
Though you wondered who DA was. -- You hate to say it, but you had a favorite G Bot. It was kind of like having a favorite child, in your mind. You felt like they somehow knew that you had a favorite, but you didn’t know why.
Oliver was the sweetest by far, immediately going to make you as comfortable or entertained as possible while you were with him. He asked you if you wanted to watch something, if you wanted to play a game, if you were hungry, etc. It was kind of like going over to a friend’s house for the first time. He was enthusiastic to the point where he was shaking with anxiety over wanting to make you happy. You thought he didn’t get many visitors and maybe that was why. He showed you his flowers, and the bees, and a small painting in the corner, hoping for  validation. His glowing eyes seemed to dull when you moved on to the next section, but said you’d visit him again. That did help, but he turned away sadly and went to water his flowers.
Lee seemed as though he couldn’t care less if you were there. He told you where everything was and that you could do whatever. If you asked for help, he would stop what he was doing and help you. Once you understood, he immediately resumed his previous task. He was a bit cold, like Google, but in a “I am very busy but I am still here if you need me” sort of way. He played a game or two with you, having a preference for the puzzle games more than anything else. Puzzle horror, more specifically. If there was a shooting part, he immediately shoved the controller into your hands, saying he didn’t want to do that part. When you left, he simply continued with his work without a goodbye.
Elliott tried so hard to ignore you for the longest time. You could hear him scoff and growl anytime you made any sort of noise. You were self conscious at first, but you came to understand that he was just an asshole. You started on a game, playing for a few minutes, and felt the red couch sink next to you because he had sat down next to you. If he thought you sucked (which he did) he would snatch the controller from you and finish whatever you were doing before giving it back. He refused to say anything or help you, either. He’d just make rude noises and walk away occasionally before coming back. When you left, he seemed a lot angrier than he had before, and wouldn’t say goodbye to you. He turned away with a huff and started pressing random buttons on the controller.
Google was by far the least interested in anything you had to do. You sat on the couch next to him, and he didn’t move an inch. You sat there for a bit, waiting, but he did not move. You stood up, walked around, messed with a few things, attempted to play a game or two. Google didn’t move. You pulled up the Gamer ChairTM and sat directly in front of Google, arms crossed. You sighed. Finally, he looked up at you.
“Is there something you need?” He asked in that monotone voice of his.
“I’m bored,” you said.
“Go to one of the others,” He closed his eyes.
“What are you doing?” You asked, curious.
“That is not-” He sounded exasperated.
“Hey Google, what are you doing?” You interrupted like the little shit you were
“Currently, this G Bot system is recharging its battery. This G Bot is at: 69%.” He shifted to a purely robotic voice.
“Haha nice.”
“This G Bot’s primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. Would you like to ask a question?”
“Yes. What do you like to do, Google?”
“I enjoy answering your questions. Do you have any more?”
“What company owns you?”
“G-Bots were recently sold by the Google company to Warfstache Incorporated.”
“Wilford has a company?”
“Warfstache Incorporated is co-owned by Wilford ‘Motherloving’ Warfstache and Damien-Dami-Da-Darkiplier.” He glitched while answering.
“Who’s Damie-”
“The Corporation owns shows such as ‘Markiplier TV’, ‘Warfstache Tonight!’, and ‘Hire My Ass’. Do you have any more questions?”
“Do you pass the Turing Test?”
“Wondering if you have to treat me with basic decency?” He shifted back to his less robotic, but still monotone, voice.
“No. Just wondering.”
Neither of you spoke again for a while. He did scold you when you tried to move the couch with him still on it, so… progress. -- You were beginning to suspect that Google didn’t like you very much.
The blue one. Google. The other ones liked you. Oliver ranted to you for a whole half hour about different kinds of bugs and the hierarchy of bees. The queen is assassinated when she is bad for the hive, it would seem. Lee made you play Resident Evil with him because he didn’t like the fighting, but he liked figuring out what to do. You frantically passed controllers back and forth a lot. Elliott basically did speedruns of several games, you watching intently the whole time. He seemed to like the attention and actually smiled at you whenever he finished one.
But Google didn’t like you. He ignored you, and told you not to touch anything, and scowled whenever you asked him personal questions. Not like “what’s your sexuality” type of personal questions. More like… “what’s your favorite color and why is it blue” sort of questions. He didn’t like them either way.
But the others liked you, and that was pretty neat.
You still wanted Google to like you though.
“Hey Google,” he perked up with the little “do-do!” noise, “Can you guys go into your different sections?”
“All G-Bots have the ability to pass into other’s color-coordinated sections,” He answered politely.
“Why don’t you?”
“We don’t want to.”
“Do you get along?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“Celine dislikes when colors are mismatched.”
“Who’s-”
“I’m sorry, this G Bot needs to charge.”
“But you haven’t been-”
“This G Bot needs to charge.”
“Come on, if you--”
“This G Bot needs to charge.”
You quieted and plopped into the chair. You stared at Google. His eyes flickered for a moment before they closed. -- The other Bots knew who Celine and Damien were, they just weren’t telling you. Their eyes always flickered when you asked, but they wouldn’t tell you.
You threatened not to play with Lee anymore. He said he could play on his own. You could see that he didn’t want to. You played Alien: Isolation. His eyes seemed duller.
You threatened not to watch Elliott’s speedruns. He said he didn’t care. You could tell that he did. You watched him play Hollow Knight. His eyes seemed duller.
You threatened not to listen to Oliver’s rants. He looked terrified, but he said that was fine. You could tell it wasn’t. You begged him to tell you. He looked sad.
“Who’s Damien?” You asked softly, stepping towards him.
“I can’t tell you,” He shifted back.
“Who’s Celine?” You stepped forward.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Who’s DA?”
All of the G-Bots stopped what they were doing. You heard static and felt like you were being watched. -- You looked up at the color on the outside of the museum.
You were doing something. You were doing something.
Were you robbing this place? It felt like you were. What happened to Mark? What happened… to you?
You stared at the doors, feeling a slight sense of dread. Something in the back of your head was telling you this wasn’t right. To go home. To…
--
“Ignorance is Bliss. Try Again?”
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a-pancake-i-am · 3 years
Text
My thoughts on Fictif/Arcana crossover
Personal opinion ahead, beware
I'm not quite mad, because I rly like both The Arcana Game and Fictif Games. However what we see is The Arcana fandom being tug into Fictif with certain hookups. Which is not quite bad by itself, but disturbs me personally. And here is my reason.
It's been a long journey for The Arcana Game, 5years long for me personally, longer for kikstarters and older fans. The Arcana in the first place was not meant to be on a place where it is. It was not meant for portable devices only. It was promised in the past that PC players would be welcomed in too in the future. And probably for the same reason this game turned out to be a huge story with It's own deep lore, well written whole ass universe which got attention of a large audience, including me, and I got charmed by this story.
Unlike me, an old otome-lover, a lot of my friends and mutuals I found in The Arcana Fandom were not really into dating simulators before for the reasons - lots of worn out and cheap-streamy-novels-like tropes, poorly designed LS, MC in a role of a stupid feminine figure, and male protags being mean to them "for the plot"... you know what I mean, this genre has a lot of shit. Arcana was a lot more, like A LOT MORE from a start, it felt serious and made me feel serious emotions in my twenties when I've seen a lot of novels already.
Time passed and Nix Hydra changed their mind, they choose to keep their tracks into mobile-games. I know we signed on not-pulling-out the information from that survey they made after The Arcana Routes were over, but I will say it. So, there were questions about their so to say new market competitors. Such as Lovestruck, Stories, Choices, Mabe, Romance Club ect ect. Which are quite fine probably, but most of them generally are below The Arcana level in points of representing. Healthy relationship dynamics are qute a rare thing there too. As well as good profond writting, diverse language, great art... I personnally still find them playable though, because I'm an experienced shit eater and proud. But there's nothing like Arcana in this shithole, that's what I mean. They are cheaper, and less effort is done in there. And it shows. Obviously.
And so Nix Hydra decided they're among them now, not among cool indie developers like Lunaris games(that used to take after the Arcana as far as I know) and others. That is not qute bad, once again, Nix Hydra is still better in anything here. They would easily stand out in this line, their writers are way better. Despite that, it's an easy cheap way to do living. And I'm seing that a new tendency occured - old sprites and backgrounds being reused in different game made in one style and reality. For exemple Roadkill content used in Ghosted widely. For sure it is a nice and pretty quotation for-fans, I hope it is. What I fear is that it is as well what over otome-agregates do often. They keep an archive of background and npc-s, probably keep simple piccrew-like npc generators and then use and reuse it all widely. So in the end it's a construct, not that much of artistic value, less job for artist(who deserve their rest but...)... it's just feels cheaper, and more tricky way to do it.
Last Legacy is a great novel. It is also the most popular of the entire Fictif for reasons the same as The Arcana is. It is a catching plot, intriguing detective storyline , and nice designs and appealing LIs types, and cool relationship dynamics... Last Legacy is probably just as good as The Arcana.
But a meant-to-be-more-than-mobile-game-Arcana had it's quality level raised high. A lot of people would agree with me that stupid slang, too obvious memes, community jokes are not welcome in game canon. Oldies like me, who played all the routes and could compare, would also agree, that some moments in secondary 3 of The Arcana feel weaker than the first 3 routes. Is is visible thad Nix Hydra went through a lot as a developers union. They changed in attitude and mood, got new teammates, lost some others. In Last Legacy they started it differently, giggles, memes and mass culture references are naturals here, and they can put their feet up in making it all-serious and just have fun.
What can I say except - good for them, good for them.
I fully understand that Nix Hydra are willing to make their developing process less expensive and devastating. I know they worked hard for The Arcana and got a lot of pressure. All they want is a simpler work for welcome and thankful audience. An they well deserve it.
However, we can see a non-dramatic degration in many aspects of the game quality in general. They place full releases now instead of gradually getting audience to know and to love the characters beforehand. It is just different. Not necessarily too bad, but probably a no better way.
Last Legacy in this situation is closer to Arcana then the rest of Fictif. It is now taken out as a bridge between The Arcana game and Fictif Games. So that The Arcana community(A huge and wealfy of paying for their 2D crushes) was introduced to Fictif. But the truth is that nothing is as much as The Arcana. Some people are ready to get someting still cool but different, less complicated hapily. Others are not. And they have a point. I still think that The Arcana is an outstanding game.
It really makes me sad, that Nix Hydra changed their tracks in game developing. But they did, and we have to accept it sooner rather then later to save ourself from disappointment. Because that is what devs are getting negative feedback for now.
I personnally would prefer Nix Hydra to leave The Arcana alone already, because they barely can handle it the same way they used to. And they have to face the fact, that they are not getting the audience they used to get with the amount of effort they are doing now. That's it.
But I highly dissaprove angry attacks on Nix Hydra.
Thanks for keeping reading my long and heavy speech until this far. You're cool if you did, cheers mates uwu
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defilerwyrm · 3 years
Note
For the ask meme: burning bright, anything about the parts at the table with the Nein. You write their banter so well!
FIC SPOILERS BELOW!
Burning Bright on AO3
The entire dinner scene hit me like a bolt of lightning while I was working on this fic. It started with Beau’s outburst, and then Veth’s willful denial and subsequent fit, and I built the two scenes around that.
Diving into particulars….
“Uhm,” he said, intelligently, but quickly recovered and flashed his friends a smile. “It is most impressive. Certainly a step up from a tiny hut.”
A direct reference to the name of the spell. Originally it was Leomund’s tiny hut. I have no clue why in 5e Wizards decided to 86 the attribution names on so many spells like Otiluke’s resilient sphere and Tasha’s hideous laughter. Things like that always made me curious about the (what I assume were) PCs the spells were named after. I had thought maybe it was because the characters who diegetically invented them were specific to one setting, but in that case I don’t know why Bigby’s hand is still Bigby’s but Evard’s black tentacles are no longer Evard’s. I don’t like it. As an aside, Widowgast’s Nascent Nein-Sided Tower is, mechanically speaking, Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion. Anyway. Moving on!
It was delectable that Caleb wanted to impress him.
This boy hungry and not just for soup
Flustered, Essek tried to fend them off, but it was Caleb that did him in. It was always Caleb. The human took a large roll from his own plate, broke it in half, and offered one of these parts to Essek, who tried his best not to choke.
“You need to keep your strength up, ja?” Caleb implored him quietly.
The steady hand that accepted was a point of pride because it very much wanted to quake. The Kryn weren’t bread people, but...did he have any idea what this gesture would mean in Rosohna? Any inkling at all?
This is another one of those places where I delight in playing to cultural differences. What I’d had in mind for what that gesture—breaking food into two pieces and offering half to someone—WOULD mean in Rosohna was a bit nebulous, as I like to keep the reader guessing a bit and let their imagination fill in the blanks; but my rough idea was that it’s a courting gesture that signifies “I can and will provide for you, even if it means less for me.” An expression of selfless caregiving and an offer of partnership. Not wholly unlike a bird bringing food to a prospective mate.
And actually it’s a little bit funny coming from Caleb, who has fuck-all to his name but his name, when Essek is a rich bitch who answers directly to the Bright Queen.
Not that he was about to say it out loud, but he was a quick convert to this whole bread thing. To say that it won him over would be an understatement. That seemed to be a recurring theme here.
I imagine if I’d grown up never really eating bread and was introduced to it in adulthood I’d be like “Where have you BEEN all my life?!” But also: the bread is friendship, the bread is the Mighty Nein, the bread is communion in the spirit of sharing rather than politics and appearances and power plays—things he thought he was fine without until they were foisted upon him.
Somewhere in the course of the multiple conversations going on at one time, Jester got an Idea, as she was prone to doing. He became increasingly aware of her talking about kissing, of all things, and this culminated in her shouting above the din, cheeks flushed purple though he hadn’t seen her touch any wine: “I have an idea you guys! Why don’t we all go around and say how many people we’ve kissed?”
Jester is the most wonderfully convenient deus ex machina if you ever need to insert an awkward or embarrassing conversation among the Mighty Nein, because this is exactly the sort of shit she would do.
Jester leaped up and slammed her hands onto the table. “Caduceus you’ve never been kissed?! That’s so sad!”
The firbolg was unfazed. He merely shrugged and said, “It hasn’t come up and I haven’t gone looking. Not something I’ve ever thought about, really.”
Jester’s tail lashed back and forth behind her like an overstimulated cat. “Do you want me to kiss you?”
Fjord went a bit wild-eyed at this. Caduceus smiled gently and said, “No thank you.”
Three things about this part:
1) Jester’s tail doesn’t get NEARLY enough mention in fic! If I’m playing (or writing) a character with a tail you can be damn sure you’re gonna know what it’s doing! Makes me wanna play a tabaxi tbqh.
2) Cad’s “No thank you” is the sum total of his sexuality, lol. Jester was raised in a pretty highly sexualized setting, didn’t really get out much before she fled Nicodranas, and can be pretty naïve, so she doesn’t really get the whole aroace thing; but it never crosses Cad’s mind that this would be “abnormal“ or ”sad” in any way—it causes him no distress, as it shouldn’t. This is yet another “Same planet, different worlds” moment.
3) Fjord is physically restraining himself from yelling “JESTER WHAT THE FUCK” lmao
Veth kept picking at it. “So you’re um. You know. Into the fellas?”
Beau snorted. “I could’a told you that months ago.”
“Yeah you could’a!” Veth pouted with a self-conscious curl to her shoulders.
I saw a comment on Tiktok that said Veth was being borderline homophobic, but that wasn’t my intent! It’s just that she inherited a certain blind spot for male queerness from her player, and as hard as she’d been trying to encourage Caleb to hook back up with his female ex, it never occurred to her that he had a male ex, too—and given that they’ve been so close for so long, she’s feeling pretty self-conscious about the fact that she never figured out that Caleb is bisexual in all that time, as well as kind of upset that no one—Caleb especially—told her. She’s having a moment of “Why didn’t I know this? Did you think it was going to change things between us? Did I make you feel unsafe?” And also a little bit of “Okay well, now I have to get him to hook up with TWO people AT ONCE because my boy deserves threesomes 😤”
Jester went goggle-eyed at him. “You’ve only been with one person?” she exclaimed. “But you’re like a hundred years old! And very handsome. I would have thought you’d get like, all the ladies.”
Ladies. Right.
Veth might not be the only one with a certain blind spot.
Beau gave her a funny look, snorting. “I dunno, he seems like the kinda guy who turns down those offers left and right.”
..…But Beau’s got his number, for more than one reason. She’s got super gaydar, for one, and has him pegged as the type who’s very choosy about his partners (also mind you, this was before demi!Essek was canonized by WoG, so I was still rolling with my hc that Essek got around when he felt like it).
The uproar was instantaneous. Everyone—almost everyone—started talking or shouting at once. Beau’s voice rang out among the din with, “HOLY SHIT ESSEK FUCKS.” Strangely pleased with himself, he downed the rest of his wine in one gulp and spent the next few minutes fending off increasingly prying, personal questions until the Nein grew bored with his lack of answers and someone changed the subject.
There it is, the line that spawned two entire scenes!
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He was not a war mage, but he was experienced and wily, and he was damned good at what he did, and as long as there was breath left in his body, the Mighty Nein would not fall here.
Joke’s on me, motherfucker literally has the War Caster feat -_-
But like in my defense, that’s just what it’s called in the book. The feat just means that you have either the training or experience to cast well during a fight, which I see as not necessarily the same thing as a war mage, which was my way of saying an arcane caster who is a soldier.
Veth stared at her blankly as if willing herself not to understand. “Caleb? With who?”
She breathed steadily. “...Essek. Caleb and Essek.”
Beside her, Jester squealed and brought her fists to her face.
Veth was less enthused. “WHAT.”
Beau’s mental commentary here is dead on. Veth still doesn’t really trust Essek at this point and has been pretty vocal about that…despite being the one to declare him part of the Mighty Nein? Eh, she’s allowed to have complicated feelings on the guy, all things considered. But I find it kind of comical and very Veth (and very Sam) for her to be all full of zest for trying to get Caleb back together with the frigging Volstrucker who is actively working for his abuser and worst enemy but balk at him hooking up with Essek.
Jester “explained” in a delighted yell: “Caleb and Essek are gonna fuuuuuuck!”
I don’t know, is this too unsubtle to call foreshadowing? The line flowed naturally in the dialogue, but it’s also letting the reader know exactly what they’re in for next, lol.
“...He’s going to break that little elf twink, you know,” Veth said, sounding distant. Seemed she was having some difficulty processing. Not too surprising, considering how adamant she was about wanting their wizard to hook back up with his old flame, the fucking Volstrucker. “We’ve all seen his dick.”
This was 100% taken from Sam’s little throwaway line “It’s above-average” but it turned out to serve two purposes other than reminding the reader that all of these people have seen Caleb naked:
1) It’s yet another thing Veth thinks she understands about him but doesn’t. Caleb’s a top like Dalmatians are purple and if you disagree then I respect your right to be incorrect ;)
2) That said, it is, in fact, foreshadowing for the sequel, in which Essek experiences a great deal of frustration. (I haven’t touched the damn thing in weeks, feels like; I’ve been too busy with work, being exhausted from work, and being in a tizzy about my upcoming surgery.)
Fjord blurted out, “I’ll join you.”
Poor Fjord has had such an uncomfortable night!
Hoo boy that was a lot. Thanks for the ask, this was really fun!! And sorry it took so long; I work Saturday nights and things got really busy for a bit there.
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vg-sanctuary · 3 years
Text
Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
Moonsprout Games - Switch, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PC - 2019
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I don't like the core gameplay of 99% of all RPGs, but the ones I do like have been some of my favorite games I've ever played. case in point, Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling, a modern interpretation of the classic Paper Mario formula and an ideal example of indie developers adding to the legacy of a cult classic. its main feature is turn-based combat with action commands, like old Paper Mario or the Mario & Luigi series, and strategy in its intentional design and small health and damage numbers that goes way beyond "spam damage and heal every third turn, use mana items as needed". (in case you want to be 100% blind for your playthrough, past the Keep Reading link are some very minor spoilers: an item a specific cook can make after a side quest, some basic enemies, environments that are about halfway through the game, and the names of some medals.)
“wow, vg-sanctuary posting about a game that's not even two years old at time of writing? and it's an RPG? are you not a retro/legacy blog anymore? who are you and what have you done with the writer?” I still am a retro/legacy blog, mostly, just this time I thought I'd share something that its developers still get money from, and whose developers aren't mega corporations. and I just beat it, enjoyed it, and really felt like writing about it because it still doesn't have the popularity it deserves even after that puppet guy on YouTube talked about it. not that this post is going to reach any significant number of people, but still. I'll write about some more indie games sometime in the future. (and indeed I am writing about another RPG and you better believe it has a lot to talk about.)
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anyway, Bug Fables starts with a brash little bee called Vi and a polite and honorable beetle named Kabbu wandering into an explorer's guild and not having a partner to join the guild with. they reluctantly decide they're going to fight together because companionship is a requirement for this guild, foiling off each other and sometimes off their third friend Leif, a blue moth they find in a cave, for the whole game. every character has a distinct personality and all the party members get some valuable character development through a side quest, which I really liked, but I'm no connoisseur of RPG stories. while I'm on story, people that come here looking for a well-made world will get what they want from the many optional lore books hidden around the world.
the plot becomes more complex and compelling as the game continues, though it generally lets gameplay take the spotlight. which is great, because the gameplay is also mostly great. about a third of it is doing puzzles on the overworld using the abilities of each character to move forward a la the Mario & Luigi series. they generally make use of whatever your newest overworld ability is, and some areas early on have inaccessible things you have to come back to, sort of like a Metroidvania except it isn't required to do this for progression. some puzzles take longer they could because they involve using Kabbu's horn to repeatedly fling an ice block many times over a distance. it's never egregious, but it could have been faster if the guy would use his arms. this is a minor caveat and not a majority of the game.
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a lot of people probably don't know how the combat for this or Paper Mario works, and it's really important to Bug Fables, so I'll explain that here. it's turn based, which is typical, but basic attacks and skills need you to time a button press to do as much damage as possible. you can also time a button press when an enemy attacks to take less damage. Paper Mario and Bug Fables also both have medals instead of other equipment that give characters higher max HP or a new skill, for example. you have limited medal points and stronger medals require more points.
this is going to sound like a lot, but any RPG's combat will sound like a lot if you try to detail it in a single paragraph. the game introduces these things slower than I am here. in Bug Fables specifically, the character standing in the front of the group does one extra damage but is more likely to be attacked, and you can pass turns from one character to another in exchange for that character dealing one less damage (which is a lot because basic attacks only deal two damage by default). certain enemies can only be hit by certain attacks; some enemies fly, so Kabbu can't hit them until Vi knocks them down with her beemerang. not a typo, beemerang. and many of Bug Fables' status effects have upsides -- being paralyzed reduces damage taken everything by one, poison has many medals that make it a good thing, and being asleep heals the sleeping character every turn. there are others that are straight up bad things, though, and usually don't come until later. all of this adds up to even small encounters having strategic depth, which is great, and if you don't feel like small encounters you can just avoid them. skills that would typically be relegated to one character, like healing and support skills all going to one, are instead split between party members to make decisions more difficult in a good way. there's also a lovely medal that instantly kills any enemy the game deems too easy for you, sort of like in Earthbound.
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I figure I spent more time doing housekeeping like cooking (simple A+B=C or A-becomes-B crafting), buying items, and arranging medals in Bug Fables than in any other RPG, which is because it was designed that way. by the way, cooking recipes start hidden, but a foodie at each restaurant will share some strong ones for free, which is a big help early on. anyone who's played The World Ends with You (i.e. me) will be spoiled by its excellent quality of life: no consumable items and you instantly heal to full after every encounter. it makes items seem like a ridiculous formality that RPGs only still have because they've had them for years, but in Bug Fables any item that isn't simple healing -- a lot of them aren't simple healing -- has great strategic use, and the exact way you spend your medal points can determine whether you win or lose any fight, especially bosses. for example, one character having one extra damage for two turns when they typically only do two is pretty important, especially when they use an attack that does multiple hits, and having it in item form saves valuable medal points and skill points. part of that time was kind of a waste, though, because I generally had one set of medals I use for multiple enemies and one I use for single enemies like bosses. being able to save loadouts would have helped a lot. I would like to compliment Bug Fables on allowing you to restart any boss with different medals without having to repeat cutscenes, and commend it for letting you do-over your level up bonuses late in the game when it starts to matter.
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it's not like spending a lot of time on strategizing before fights is strictly mandatory. I was mostly playing on hard mode where enemies have more health and more difficult attacks, and mostly with a medal called Hard Hits that makes all enemies deal one extra damage in exchange for extra money after each fight. it can be less difficult if you'd like, but it's never mindless; even if you're doing a strategy that manages 20 or 30 damage (again, a lot in this game) in a single turn, it takes effort to choose your medals to do so much damage and actually play the strategy out in combat. the combat strategy is the best part of Bug Fables, and it makes each fight almost like a puzzle. I've typed some form of "strategy" six times so far, which is fair because it's the best part of Bug Fables. don't let it put you off, though, it's RPG combat strategy, not chess-like or RTS or something, so if you've enjoyed any other turn-based RPG it should be easy to get used to.
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it's also worth mentioning the ample side content. each chapter of the game unlocks a handful of side quests, some about trading, some about combat, and almost as many bonus bosses as main bosses. you're allowed to fight them fairly early on, and a few become available after the final boss that are actually a bit harder than it in classic Paper Mario fashion. basically, if you like Bug Fables, there's a lot of it to play. there's even a trading card minigame because of course there is. it's fairly fleshed out, too, and unlike the one in Chocobo Tales the animations between turns don't take six years. the reward for the whole card side quest isn't something that's important for combat, so you can skip it if you don't like it; I didn't especially like it so I think that was a great decision on the developers' part.
rewards for some of the other side content, though, are so good it's kind of a wonder they can be completely skipped. it doesn't make the game harder to not have those skills or medals, but they are some of the best in the game and undeniably really useful. they make great side quest rewards in that sense, but it's important to know for the people that usually wouldn't do side content. I don't know if that's a common kind of player, but just in case. (this game's 100% achievement has been earned by a sky-high 5.9% of players on Steam. usually it's more like 2% or less. the point is none of the extra content is overly obtuse.)
I will complain about the forced stealth sections though. and be astounded that they fixed the main issue with them in the last stealth section. these are minor caveats and take well under an hour total unless you're really, really, really bad at sneaking, but they bothered me when I got to them. I mean, I understand why they're in the game, I understand why Zelda has them, but I didn't really like them. the main issue for all but the last stealth section is that there's no vision cone or other indication that "if you stand here they will see you" or even an opportunity to recover from mistakes which are incredibly important for playable stealth. the last stealth section does have a vision cone and does have an opportunity to recover from mistakes, which is a great step up. I would like to use even more italics to remind you that these sections total less than an hour of gameplay. Zelda: Breath of the Wild's forced-ish stealth was much worse than this.
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I don't know where else to put it, so I'll add here that the soundtrack is great and the graphics are perfectly Gamecube-y and the sprites capture the cuteness of Paper Mario really well, even though they're, you know, bugs. each environment is distinct and themed well, and each one’s music matches well. I really wish I knew how to talk about music because there are a lot of different songs in this game that work well for what they go with. boss music sounds intense and boss-y and appropriate for each boss you're fighting, the not-music hits just right, and everything else feels good. some songs use Nintendo 64 MIDI instruments, which I loved. and the bee boss music has a synth that sounds like bees buzzing.
anyone that likes RPGs -- and even some people that don't -- will probably enjoy the story and strategy that make up the excellent Bug Fables. it goes beyond being a homage to Paper Mario and becomes its own thing entirely, though its roots are obvious from the art style. not that this takes away from it -- Paper Mario is a great legacy, and this manages to be even better. for all its little bad things there are a dozen great ones. I admit I haven't played the classic Paper Mario games, but this made me want more -- I guess I'll have to go back while I hope for Moonsprout Games to continue forward.
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newhologram · 3 years
Text
I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.
My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"
I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.
I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.
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tinawritesstuff · 4 years
Text
Bar Shenanigans (Henry Cavill x Reader)
Pairing: Henry Cavill/ First Person Reader
Wordcount: 1.3k
Warnings: not really
A/N: please take into consideration that this is my first time writing fanfiction in English, because it's not my first language. If you like this, feel free to let me know! I'm looking forward to write so much more! Thank you in advance ♥️
A/N 2: I’m planning on writing and uploading more one shots and stories, and I’ll be writing mostly for Harry Styles, Henry Cavill and Chris Evans. If you have a request or want to be tagged on my stories just let me know! I’ll be more than happy to add you ♥️
@tillthelandslide​ I can’t thank you enough for your support. This one is especially dedicated to you ♥️
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I genuinely don’t know how it happened. One moment we were talking about mutual interests, and all of the sudden I had her wrapping her thick and marvelous thighs around my waist.
 It’d been a pretty rough week for me. Without counting the horrific situation the whole world was going through, all the interviews and Zoom conferences were driving my head mad, hence why I decided to go out and do something different that day.
I had run for the Durrell Challenge that same morning, and by the end of the race my brother, my sister in law and me decided to stop by a pub to have some beers (we deserved it, don’t give me that look). And that’s when I spotted her. Well, rather heard her before I even saw her
She was laughing so freely and carelessly with her friend that right after that moment I was smitten. The second thing I noticed were her tattoos: she had her left forearm covered in half a sleeve and the right upper arm as well
Am I making any sense? The point is she had a lot of tattoos.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Dark hair, contagious smile and her laugh, God, I never thought someone could make me smile so big just by hearing them laugh. Her friend seemed nice too, but her? I’d never laid my eyes upon such mesmerizing creature before.
 -          Why don’t you go and talk to her? I don’t think you have something to lose.
I looked over at Simon and sighed. Of course, I had to be discovered ogling the beautiful little thing by no other than my older brother.
 -          Oh, but I do, though. Haven’t really tried to make a move on a girl in a while. Besides, she looks extremely young for me.
 -          As if that’s ever stopped you before. Besides, I thought that’s how you liked them. – he then shrugged his shoulders- We’re gonna go grab our drinks, you should, uhm…, go freshen up a bit. You look like you need it- he sent me a wink and then took off.
 I looked over at the little beauty’s direction and, surprisingly, she was looking back at me. I threw (more like tried to throw) a confident smile and then bowed my head as to say ‘Hi’. She then giggled and waved her hand at me, after that she signaled my head. That’s when I remembered I was wearing the ridiculously big lion hat for the race and I started to feel like an ashamed little boy all of the sudden.
I shrugged my shoulders at her and smiled again. My brother and his wife came back with our drinks, and everything that happened after that is a big blur.
I remember her approaching me when I was waiting at the bar for another beer. She introduced herself- (Y/N), a ridiculously cute name-, said she wasn’t from around the area and was trying to get used to the English manners with her best friend (whose name I can’t really remember, honestly).
-   Are you even legal to be drinking here? – I asked as I took my drink from the bartender
-   Well, if you must know, I’m actually 20 which means I’m totally drinking by the parameters of the law- she threw an amused smile my way- What? Too young for you?
-   Not really, no.
She smiled wider than before and nodded her head. By that point, I didn’t even know nor care where my brother had taken off to.
We talked a bit more. She said she was currently a college student (which I’d already assumed when she told me her age) and that she worked at a diner ten minutes away from our current location. Said she recognized me when she and her friend saw me, but didn’t want to come out as a creep, and I really, really appreciated it. We discussed our hobbies, I told her a bit of my liking for PC games, History and acting, and she told me all about her activities on her free times.
We hit it off pretty quickly, and by the end of the day our companions were forgotten. Her friend had accompanied us for a while but then took off with someone else.
She told me she was living in a small flat near the diner she worked at, and was a fifteen minutes’ walk from the bar. I said if she didn’t mind me walking her home, because London wasn’t as safe as everyone thinks it is. She said she didn’t mind.
 Which brings us here. The moment she closed the door I didn’t need to keep pretending that I didn’t want to take her as bad as she wanted to be taken. I just followed her with my eyes focused on every move.
She leaves her shoes and purse by the door, and I drop my coat on the sofa. (Y/N) offers me a drink but I simply reject her offer shaking my head as I move closer to where she is. She looks up at me and that’s when I realize how short she is compared to me which, I don’t know why, turns me on even more. I look at her expectantly, I don’t want to make a move that she’s not comfortable with, and all it takes for me to lose control is her grabbing my face with her soft hands and pulling it close to hers.
I close my eyes and engulf her body in my arms as our lips connect. I feel her sigh on my mouth and then her body relaxes against mine, as I move my arms and hands through all the expanse of her back until I let them rest by her lower back, close to her bum. She whimpers when I let my tongue get into her mouth and roll against her own, and I let out a guttural groan because the sounds she makes are driving me insane.
I don’t even recognize myself anymore; I’d suddenly become an insatiable beast who couldn’t get a hold of its needs, who needed her more than the air to breath. I move my hands even lower, caressing her soft flesh as they go down, and pull her even closer to me by groping her two soft, jiggly globes. God, what a delicious piece of ass she has. I lift her up and she places her legs around my waist, I use one hand to hold her up against me and the other to cradle her pretty face. So, so pretty.
 -   I think we should carry this to my bedroom. What do you say, handsome? – she said once our lips were no longer connected.
-   Lead the way, little one.
She hops off of me and takes my hand. I wish I could say how her place looked like, but honestly my main focus was on her: the way her hips swayed, her messy hair, the wink she threw my way once we reached the door of her room.
 -   I apologize in advance for the mess you may find, I wasn’t exactly expecting to get company tonight. – she blushes and opens the door.
 -   I don’t think I’ll be focusing on that, to be completely honest. – I flash her a charming smile and then move after her inside the little space.
 She tries to keep walking, but I stop her by grabbing her bicep and I bring her back to me to reconnect our lips. I circle her waist with both my arms and our mouths start a war for dominance. Spoiler alert: mine wins.
This is exactly the kind of release I didn’t know I needed until now.
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letteredlettered · 3 years
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hi! ive been following your writing for a few years now and i drop by periodically to check if you have anything new posted, and im really surprised that you seem to be enjoying the untamed? im curious what you think about the show - its story and characters, the acting, the production, etc. idk if you know, but the untamed is the most successful example of a current trend in chinese entertainment, where popular online novels centered around a gay romance is adapted into a 'safe' drama.
continued:
due to the many explicit and implicit restrictions imposed on creative media in china, many crucial plot points have to be changed (often badly) or removed, including the nature of the relationship between the main characters. the untamed is considered the most loyal adaptation so far, but like all other works in the genre, it received criticism for weak acting and queerbaiting. that's why im really curious about what you think of the show as it is, as itself, free from its context.
if you're interested, you could also check out guardian! it features much better performance and chemistry by the leads imo, but the story was heavily botched bc the original incorporates and reinvents a lot of classic chinese folklore beautifully and stuff like that is considered disrespectful and not-pc. i think it's really sad how so many great pieces of writing with complex world-building and plotlines are simplified into... idek what to call them, but just, less than what they are.
im sorry this turned into a rant. as a mainland chinese person with oh so many frustrations about our current society, it's hard to comprehensively describe my feelings about the untamed's popularity. it's the first mainland chinese show/movie to gain this much organic interest abroad so i should be glad? but, but. anyway, yes, im sorry.
There’s no need to apologize for ranting, but I admit to some confusion as to whether you want your question addressed or the rant. Because I’m me and tend to be thorough, I’ll address everything, in reverse order.
First of all, I’m sorry that this show is sad to you. I’m sorry that the popularity of it is difficult. I’m also deeply sympathetic to your frustrations about your society, as I too am deeply frustrated by my own.
Secondly, yes, I’m aware of the context of The Untamed. I’m aware that the book it’s based on is a BL novel, and that, in order to align with Chinese politics, overt queerness was erased from the adaptation. I’m aware of the censure laws of gay media in China. I’m also aware that some aspects of necromancy and morality were adjusted to make the show more palatable for general audiences, but I’m fuzzier on those details. Lastly, I’m aware that the popularity of the show calls attention to certain things, such as fanfic, and that attention results in more censorship,
The fact of this erasure and this censure provokes a lot of questions: by consuming this product, which contains erasure and censure, do we engage in the erasure and censure? By posting gifs and writing fanfic and talking about this product, do we increase its popularity, thereby encouraging additional erasure and censure? By increasing the popularity of this product, do we diminish the popularity of the original gay morally gray canon, thereby decreasing representation? Do we discourage other authors in China from writing explicitly gay morally gray material? In short, are we allowed to enjoy this media?
I don’t know the answer to these questions. However, I do know that boycott is a very effective tool when it can inflict economic pain on the producer, or when it can exert pressure on an entity to change. That said, I feel like a lot of the calls to boycott certain media these days are a lot like telling people to stop driving their cars to stop climate change: it’s suggesting that individuals can solve the problem, which presupposes individuals are the problem, and therefore fails to address the scope of the problem, or present the possibility of a real solution. Not watching The Untamed isn’t going to change laws about portrayals of homosexuality onscreen in China, partly because the laws in China are a much bigger problem.
The other part of it is that The Untamed is coded queer, so if you run a successful boycott against it, you end up with . . . less queer TV. I know a whole lot less about China than I do about the Hays Code, but if you had told gay people during the Golden Age of Hollywood that they couldn’t enjoy movies that were coded queer because they weren’t explicitly queer, they’d have said you were crazy. In fact, many people will tell you that media that was coded queer was a big reason we got more explicit queer stuff later. And as I’m sure you’re aware, the US is still fighting that battle . . . partly because it wants to sell movies to China.
So then there’s a question about whether me, an American in the US, liking something coded queer from China but not explicitly queer--does that encourage Chinese censorship? Should I only support texts that are explicitly queer? But the answer is the same--it’s not addressing the scope of the problem, and by supporting texts that are coded queer, you could be paving the way in the future for something brighter.
But you weren’t talking about boycott! You were talking about your discomfort with the popularity with this show, which I accept. I understand feeling uncomfortable. I can only hope it makes you a bit more comfortable to know that plenty of fans are deeply aware of the context and do wrestle with the question of what liking this show means in the context of a society that would never allow aspects of the original to be portrayed onscreen.
Thirdly, I’m not against trying Guardian at some point, but by comparing the acting and chemistry of the leads to The Untamed, I feel like you prove our tastes are very different in these regards. I love the acting of the leads in The Untamed; I found their chemistry off the charts. It’s okay you don’t feel the same.
Lastly, you asked my opinion of The Untamed: its story and characters, the acting, the production, sans context of the canon upon which its based and censorship laws in China.
a. I love the overall story, but the plot has deep plot holes. Quite a few segments do not actually make sense to me, because the plot is so haywire. However, I’ve never cared that much about plot, except when it gets in the way of characters and themes, and for the most part, this plot serves its characters and themes, except when the parts they leave out are so confusing that I cannot follow the story. As for the story, it feels like it’s built for me, because ultimately it’s about moral decisions and how to make them; it’s about guilt and paying for mistakes; it’s about learning, changing your mind, and remaking yourself. Really, I’m not sure there are many stories I love more--except they killed my favorite character, and I almost quit. So, that certainly put a damper on things.
b. I love the characters most of all, although the villains are really two-dimensional. However, large parts of the plot are not Hero vs Villain, they’re Hero vs Society, and then some Hero vs Himself in a way that suggests the Hero is no longer a hero. I could talk about the characters forever, but suffice it to say I think they’re really strong. Also, the relationships are really exquisite, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. Unfortunately, they killed my favorite character off. Also unfortunately, there are six women in this show, only two of them are main characters, and every single one of them dies. It disgusts me.
c. I think the two leads are exceptional, in particular Xiao Zhan . . . when he’s not being too broad, which he is quite a bit. However, I do wonder how much of this is direction and production style, because in many instances, he’s quite subtle, and the choices he makes are astounding. Then there are times where it’s like they needed more footage, or wanted to drive home a point, and he turns on the extra, and it’s awful. It could just be him, but I actually feel it’s the case with most of the actors, which does make me think it’s a directing issue. Meng Ziyi never really has that problem though, because she is the most perfect of all. But then take He Peng, who I actually thought could be incredible, but every scene was just SO BROAD that I began to feel sorry for the poor dude having to act that part. But there is nothing to be said for Wang Zhuo Cheng, who really is just terrible, which is sad, because it’s a great part.
d. Production-wise, it’s really hit and miss. So much of the locations are truly beautiful. A lot of the costumes are too, unless the shot is too close. I actually don’t mind the wigs; I love the long hair. The CGI is terrible. And then while a lot of the shots are beautiful, some of them are awkward, and the pacing is really difficult, imo. It really seems like they wanted to drag it out, and there are so, so many scenes where I’m sort of embarrassed that we’re in the same scene or that we’re still looking at someone’s face, or that everyone is just standing there waiting for the shot to finally end.
I will say that film is a language that does differ from culture to culture. It could be that both the broadness of the acting and the awkwardness of the editing are my cultural lens based on American and a lot of western film. When I watched older Hollywood films, the acting is a lot more broad and maybe a little less “true” feeling, but I understand that it’s not the case everyone in the past was a bad actor. It was just a different style, so I’m not sure I’m equipped with the cultural knowledge of Chinese acting, cinematography, and editing to be able to really judge the value of these things.
I do know how I feel, which is that the editing is the biggest hurdle for me while watching the show. However, I feel that the beauty of it makes up for a lot, and the strength of the characters and themes really carries it.
I hope I addressed your points adequately, and I wish you well.
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bitch-in-a-bag · 3 years
Text
can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?
in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.
i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.
I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.
I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.
I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.
if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!
and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.
so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.
my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.
I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.
is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.
I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.
It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.
That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.
as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.
in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.
it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.
as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.
Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.
It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.
And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.
Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.
Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.
we've gone full circle, and it's not right.
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jaehyunspeachparty · 4 years
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daddy jaehyun
iv.xii
"So, Ms. Jung. 8 weeks and your body has regressed really well." The gynecologist smiled and typed something on her PC. "I am glad to hear that." You smile and straighten your clothes after the examination, where you had to undress completely. "I honestly have to say that I was a little worried when you said you wanted to give birth with the twins at home. But apparently your bodies reacted much more stress-free." "I know, it was also much better at home. It was a unique experience." You smile and the doctor nodded. After everything has been discussed, you leave the practice and Jaehyun is already waiting for you. The matter with Matthew is still not very clear and the two of you are still very close to each other and Jaehyun didn't like to take his eyes off of you. "And is everything good?" He smiled softly and you nod. "Yes, everything has healed. Allegedly everything has receded." You put your bag down, but Jaehyun still didn't start to drive. "And? What did you choose?" You hadn't told him how to use contraception now because you wanted to hear the doctor’s opinion. "I have the IUD inside now." You smile gently and Jaehyun grins in relief. The vasectomy was a long talk, but yesterday you walk in the living room and saw him sitting on the couch with the twins on his lap. He talked, played with them and finally sang them a lullaby. You could watch it forever and asked yourself 'what if you still want to have a child with this great husband and father after all'? "Do you want more cute babies from me?" Jaehyun winked. "Oh, I don't know if I'm going to have another pregnancy ever again but I want to leave this opinion open." You laugh and Jaehyun got ready to go, but his phone rang and the number from the kindergarten appeared. "Hello?" Jaehyun turned on the speaker so you could listen too. "Hello Mr. Jung. I'm sorry to have to report, but there are problems with your son. He had an argument with another boy in his playgroup. Since he was pushed, he also had a small cut on his forehead, however everything is good but it would be better if you can pick him up." Jaehyun and you look at each other. "Okay, my wife and I are close anyway. We'll pick him up right away." Jaehyun hung up and drove off. But you weren't comfortable with the whole thing. You knew Sunoh was certainly heavily involved in the argument. "I can't believe a child hit Sunoh." Jaehyun was angry and was right on his son's side. "Hmm, don't you think Sunoh might have done something too?" Your heart really hurt when you thought about it. You feel so guilty that you got pregnant far too early. Maybe you should have taken your time, paid more attention to him.
Jaehyun and you came to kindergarten and you see Sunoh and the other boy who was a little younger, sitting in a corner. Sunoh had crossed his arms and was sulking. There was a colorful plaster on his forehead. When the boy saw you, he looked up and immediately ran to you. "Mummy." He started to cry and you take him in your arms. Jaehyun also stroked his head gently and checked whether he was okay. "Ms. and Mr. Jung, the other family will be there as well. Then we can talk." The kindergarten teacher smiled, but was still worried. Jaehyun just sighed annoyed. He was angry, which parents would raise such a child that pushes another child. You can already tell by his puffing that he was angry. That's why you carefully grip his upper arm and look at him seriously. "Wait before you hear the whole story." You couldn't believe Sunoh was pushed by a child who was almost a year younger. Your son was already big. "Where is he?" You hear a familiar voice and when you look up you see Jihe and Minhyuk come in and run to the other boy. "Oh my prince? Are you hurt?" The boy also starts to cry and snuggled into his mother's arms as well. "Minhyuk?" Jaehyun looked at him in surprise. "Is your son the one who pushed my son?" You look up at Jaehyun with concern. That sounded too passively aggressive. "And your son the one who bit my son?" Minhyuk came a little angry with him too. "Okay okay, let's wait. We don't need an argument between us now." You try to intervene and Jihe follows you. "Yes exactly, listen to Y/N." Then the two men turned and looked at you in amazement. "You know each other?" Minhyuk asked and the two of them nodded. But before you can tell more, the kindergarten director called you to the office.
The director explained that the son of Minhyuk and Jihe annoyed your son a bit, Sunoh bit him and the boy pushed him in response. "I know there are problems with both of them. But we do not tolerate such behavior." The director looked at you and you nod. "It will never happen again," assured Jihe and Jaehyun made the same clear too, but when you wanted to go. The woman called you over again. "Mr. and Mrs. Jung, I have something else to talk to you about." You look at Jaehyun with concern and he nodded before you both sit down again. "I have to tell you that Sunoh is very difficult. He often shows aggressive behavior and other parents have complained many times." "What? Did he bite other children?" You were totally shocked. "No, but he's crude and mean." "But he's only 2 years old. He's just going through a difficult period, we just have two newborns at home. It's not easy for him." Jaehyun also tried to defend his son. "We are a kindergarten with a very good reputation. Children from idols and politicians come to us. Unfortunately, a child like Sunoh does not fit to our ideology." The director sighed and looked at you, but you couldn't believe what she was saying. "Ideology? What is that nonsense? He's a bit stubborn, but because of this you want to expel him?" Your son was sitting on your lap and was so peaceful, you could hardly imagine that he was mean to all other children. He's not angry or violent, not even when he's arguing with Miga. "What should we do now?" Jaehyun was visibly annoyed too, he sighed and you knew he wanted to leave just like you. "Nothing for us anymore. Immediately Sunoh will no longer go to kindergarten." The woman looked at you sternly and you lacked the words. "What? We've paid a lot of money for you for years and now you can't deal with a bit defiant boy?" Jaehyun was really angry and you were glad that he spoke your thoughts. "I'm sorry, but other parents also pay a lot of money and they don't want to be afraid that another child will hurt their child." "I can't believe it ..." Jaehyun was so mad, you could see how his face turned red. How could they make his son look so bad? "Let's just go." You got up and Jaehyun took Sunoh from you.
"Does that still hurt?" Jaehyun asked his son when he put him in the child car seat. Sunoh grabbed his forehead and shook his head. "It's going to be maybe a little scar. But you will look very cool with it." Jaehyun winks and Sunoh started to giggle. He kissed his son and then went to the driver's seat. You are now sitting in the next seat and looking at your phone. You'd just like to cry now. But suddenly a message from Jihe appears. "Hey, I hope everything is okay with you. I'm sure the boys understand each other and have only fought a bit. Maybe we can all meet for a playdate." Her message was super cute and you were glad that at least they weren't angry. "Everything okay?" Jaehyun looked at you and you put your hand on your forehead. "I'm to blame. I wanted another baby and Sunoh wasn't actually ready for it." And suddenly you start to cry. "Hey, it's not your fault. We were a bit surprised by the twins." Jaehyun turned to you and took your hand. He gently stroked your skin with his finger. "I spend so much time with Geon and Kiwoo. I don't want Sunoh to think I don't want him." You couldn't stop crying. The whole thing with Sunoh worried you so much. "He needs time. He'll definitely be a good big brother." Jaehyun smiled softly and you nod. You take a look at your boy who was already asleep. He was so peaceful, you could never believe he was as bad as they described him.
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