#which means i get to make WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BITCHES

[respectthepetty]

do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.

Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because

I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!

Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.

Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.

NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!

Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.

So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.

Mis tóxicos favoritos

presented in no particular order

Todd - Not Me

This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!

Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series

Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.

Yai - Big Dragon

The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.

Songpol - Club Friday

Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.

Vegas - KinnPorsche

The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*

Charn - Laws of Attraction

He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.

Chalothon - The Sign

I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.

Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.

Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.

So - House of Stars

This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.

#toxic kings #I love toxic bitches #it's the unhinged behavior and mind games that always gets me #house of stars #history 4: close to you #180 degree longitude passes through us #club friday #kinnporsche #big dragon #laws of attraction #the sign #not me #the novelist

[miyuhpapayuh]

Can I be transparent for a sec? Mmkay.

I lost my job back in January over some racist ass mean girl shit and I haven't been able to find a job since then. It's almost may. By the grace of god, am I still held together but man if a bitch don't cry.

Bills never stop. Life don't stop. The fact that some over aged bully brought problems to her SECOND job and got an innocent black woman fired is crazy to me, I feel like they even blackballed me ya know? Nobody wants my ass.

Soon as I send the application off, it's coming back with a fat red NO on it. And I ain't never not do my job, so to pats that off as the THIRD and final excuse as to why you fired me is crazy.

Almost two years and still had that key in my possession til I brought it back to her ass, after she fired me. There's bitches that didn't even have codes to get in the building! I had that AND a key! Mind y'all, this was my second boss. First one got fired cause she truthfully ain't do her job, but me, always on time and ready to do my job.

We got paid $12 and hour! Who tf ain't finna do this silly shit? All I do and ring bitches up. So you saying I never rung a bitch up? Never opened/closed the store? Never cleaned my area? Never did a return? Never help a vendor? Never turn the fountain on/off? Never turned the lights on/off? Tv, either? Never put anything back? Never took something down for someone? Never carried something out for customers, which i eventually stopped on my own cause I ain't finna be no liability. This is not Lowe's. Never answered the phone? Nothing?! I just came to work and disappeared to narnia, apparently, and have y'all my ass to kiss? Yeah, okay. And how do y'all think that'll stand with no paper trail to back it up.

If I NEVER did anything, why was I still here and never written up a single time? You were my boss for five months and never wrote me up? Didn't confiscate my key? CONTINUED to let me open the store up? Tried to make me your errand girl? Picked a bitch who don't even clock ten hours a week your part time assistant manager but kept running to ME when shit would get weird and if redirect your ass to your OTHER assistant manager, because EYE do not get paid to be a secretary. Remember who you gave that job to, especially after being warned that she wouldn't be able to do the job.

Y'all, what the fuck is a part time assistant manager? Any other assistant manager we ever had clocked the full 40, cause it's a REQUIREMENT. Duh. Now part time and full time employees? Sure, but nothing else. Can't be a part time manager of a fucking establishment, that's so ass backwards.

So who would be asked to open the store a LOT if the other assistant was on vacation or whatever? Me.

If a bitch didn't ever do her job? Why call on me? Rely on me to fix problems with certain customers because you knew I'd handle it. Hell, I was helping this girl sell spaces in the store! If I never did my job? Why constantly ask me how many hours I wanted? Tell me about the other girls and how they're not doing what you want and yadda ya.

When girls started quitting, I took those long eight hour shifts to the chin to help you out. And you thanked me! Y'all she was on the phone talking to my assistant manager and they got me right before I left work to thank me for staying so late and being the only one to step up and be a team player and they appreciate me (mind yal I don't care about team player bs it just felt nice to hear that I was appreciated) and all that, just to turn around a MONTH later and say I never did my job?

I got fired over the phone because she knew how it woulda went down in person, but she also thought I wasn't smart enough to fight. First mistake.

This feels like a book lmao I'm knowing y'all prolly don't care but I just have to write this out somewhere, I just have felt so sad and angry.

Anyway. Painted tree is a boutique where people sale their wares, handmade jewelry, food, clothing items, candles, paintings, etc. you could either buy a kiosk or a booth and you were responsible for that and that alone!

So of course, there's vendors that sell shit outta their house cause they know nobody is paying attention, one of them any things this new manager was being brought in to fix cause it was starting to look like a hot mess, I'm not gonna lie to y'all, but I just worked there so whatever.

Of course me being me, I would also make a point to say something every now and again because you can't have us giving a spiel to the customers about the store, while not making sure that your current vendors are following those rules we're giving the new ones! Like???

Old manager was even telling her assistants to sale the spaces sight unseen and why make me privy to this cause you know ima tell y'all how illegal that is!

So the same part time assistant manager is involved in what ended up getting me fired. We started around the same time as cashiers and she's been trying her hardest to get this promotion at her other job, the full time job, but she's up against some sixty year old lady who's been in the company forever, so she's got seniority. Y'all already know how this ends up going. Shorty ain't get the promotion, right around the same time she gets promoted where we work.

On top of that, her husband should choke on something. I won't get into that but there was a point where she'd cry to us about him leaving her and even pimp herself to customers! I'm talking about"if y'all have any single daddies, older brothers, friends, tell 'em I'm ready to mingle!"

Inappropriate.

During the same time, Christmas Eve of 2022, to be exact, we get a text from our manager that the power was out and whoever was scheduled wouldn't have to worry about coming in. So I'm like sweet, see y'all Monday, merry new year whatever.

Of course this bitch gon text back and ask about the possibility of the lights coming back on and I'm like oh my god really. So managers like I'll let y'all know if I hear anything and get y'all to come in. Of course.

So what we ain't know was that this girl was camped out in the job parking lot, waiting to see if the lights came on.

Sure enough they did, cause why not?!?!? And she calls manager and tells HER that SHES gonna drop her kid off, change her clothes and come back to work! Told HER manager what the plan for the day was and you know it actually went down?!?? Cause she was a known snitch at head office, they don't like this girl! Our manager told us that they don't like her.

Anyway, so of course we have to come to work for like three hours and it's a waste because there was like 10 customers at most! My co worker and I are giving her shit because why were you in the parking lot waiting for the lights to come on?! You had nothing better to do cause your husband still hasn't come home?! DO NOT MAKE THAT MY FUCKING PROBLEM WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!

She's telling the customers that we're making her feel bad and I'm just saying "good, I hope you do feel bad" got our asses at work for nothing, yeah feel bad! I could still be in the bed! Last minute Christmas shopping my ass! I'm mad!

So why does she end saying she wants to leave early?

Not the same person who said we should thanking her for getting us more hours? Not the one who was trying to gain sympathy from the customers? NOT THE ONE WHO CAMPED OUT IN THE PARKING LOT?!!!!

When I say my head swivelllllllled, it almost came off. All my coworker did was stare at her but eyeeee had words for her ass.

No way you just said sumn bout leaving early??? You literally waited for the lights to come back on so you could get us to come to work! We're here and only been here for like 2 hours, maybe her 3, and you wanna leave early?! You ain't going nowhere. If anything ima hitch a ride with coworker and we gon leave you here to lock up. That was funny of you to think you were leaving early.

Shoulda seen her face, like dare you!

I said if our manager goes for it and you leave early, I got words for her too. I bet she ain't get work early.

My manager and I even agreed that she was being ridiculous to even ask that question, being the one who made us come to work!

Yeah she ain't like me ever since that, but she also ain't buck her shit after that either.

So when we get our new manager, she feels like she got someone on her side because let me make note that the old manager was the best friend of the assistant manager that she works alongside now. So the playing field is leveled now.

So my sister and I have a kiosk to share, my art and her baking. We get both of the week and I make it look all pretty with our candy jars and cookies and paintings and jewelry that my mom made and what have you.

I come in a day before my week is up and my stuff isn't there. In fact, that now part time assistant is standing in front of a table, taking down a coffee display.

Do we do this on Saturdays? Absolutely. Do we use the other side to display our coffee so these booths of the week can still be presented? Also, yes.

So why is mine the one you MAKE SURE you take down? Right.

So I clock in and tell my assistant manager that I needed to go to my booth. I go to my booth and our stuff is out back crazy! I call my sister while I'm putting everything back. I mean candy dishes on the edge of the shelves, my paintings on the floor, cookies put behind things. Like she just dropped it off and kept it moving.

So were upset and I call my manager and let her know what's happening and she's telling me head back up front cause conveniently both assistant managers were leaving early so I needed to watch the front so I'm like okay just call her and tell her that I don't appreciate her just throwing my stuff around and she assures that she will.

So that ended up being translated like something to brush off cause when I had to call her back cause I couldn't find one of my stand to my paintings, which I ended up finding in the office on a shelf?! Which also ended up not being a big deal to my manager which I noted was not cool, she just kinda passed off a message like we she didn't know where your things went.

She coulda left my shit where it was sitting and let me know to move it when I got in. Could moved it into the office and let me put it back myself. I got agreement on this from my manager. So I'm just like okay whatever just tell her not to touch my stuff anymore if that how she's gonna do me. That was the end of it for me, cause just let me get my money pls.

So the next day we work together again, and like any other day we do not speak to each other cause she's wishy washy and I don't get paid to speak to you nor do you get paid to speak to me. So I speak to my other coworker cause she's not an asshole to me and I go about my day.

Why does the next day roll around and my manager asks me what do we need to do to solve the tension? I'm like what tension? I'm good. When she wants to start treating me like a human, then maybe she'll get so here with me but EYE am not the problem here?? I didn't do anything to her??

She's like, well she told me that you came in and didn't speak to her but you spoke to everyone else.

I'm sorry, I'm we in high school? Didn't I tell y'all that we are not friends? I know I've told y'all that so what's this about?

I told her that I'm not rolling out a red carpet for this girl and making her feel comfortable cause she's definitely not doing that for me! Like be real! Be serious! If I told you every damn time she ain't speak to me, you woulda been tired of me long time ago! I don't come to work for that! Tell her come talk to me and I get a comment about my attitude and I shrug it off like okay haha cause I'm not confrontational all the time, it didn't cost for that ya know? So the comment was unnecessary.

So a couple days go by and I end up texting my manager to chat when I got to work later that day just letting her know that I needed to get everything off my chest about this while situation cause it was starting to bother me how the whole thing was being handled.

In that conversation, I pretty much reiterated that I just would like to continue doing my job and not worrying about catering to anyone's feelings, cause we do not get paid for that. This girl had been treating me like an outcast for a whirl and it feels racist sometimes and she's quick to defend her cause duh and I tell her that I don't need anyone to tell me what they think about it so pretty much like girl save it, I still think it's racist and she tells me to send part time assistant manager a message to say like here's where we stand and we don't gotta get along but we gotta get back to work and let it be.

So I'm like ok cool, I type it up in my notes and send it to my homegirl like girl read this and lmk what you think cause she privy to everything that's been going on!

She like that's cool but I don't think sending her that will make a difference, cause I agree with you that she should do her job just mediate or something instead of getting you do it! Remember, YOU didn't do anything to her!

So my sister came right around that time cause she was picking me up, also putting labels on her products cause again we own a kiosk, and so I tell her about it and she immediately is like do not send her anything cause they can use it against you.

So part time assistant manager ends up coming in and when I say she beelines straight for the office, she almost hurt herself getting in there.

So my assistant manager ends up telling me that if I wanted to go home early o could cause we were really slow so I was like yeah I'll see y'all tomorrow, byeee

So a couple hours later, I get a text from my manager asking me if she could call me. I already knew what it was but I'm like there's no reason why she would do that.

So she calls me and someone from corporate was on the other line! wtf? So she goes into this spiel about cutting hours and then abruptly says that here's where we part ways.

So I'm like why am I getting fired? She dances around the question and goes on to say something about an attitude, and so I ask her if it's about the situation between we and ptam (got tired of writing that out) and if it is about that situation, is she also getting fired? Cause never did I speak to that girl about any of this, it was my manager and I talking. And she doesn't answer any of what I asks, she just keeps going back to its best that we do it like this and I'm like why? She then goes on on to say she knows I wasn't happy and I'm like how?? Why would I come to work to take your shift, both assistant managers and my own in this mf if I hated my job? Girl shut up! Like not making any sense?

So the lady from corporate takes over and starts talking like an inspirational speaker about how she met me and I can go anywhere and be the best I can be and there's better opportunities and I end up zoning out cause I'm just like how tf am I gonna pay my bills now? I don't have a job lined up. I cannot believe I just got died and she didn't even give me a reason— she thought I hung up and I'm like nah I'm here but I don't wanna hear anything else or continue this conversation, you want your key back? Cool. Do I even have a shift still, tomorrow morning? No, of course not. K, you'll get it back, bye.

Immediately I send a long email to corporate and tell 'em everything that's gone on, even told em how my manager has her boyfriend/fiancé drive an hour back down the road to another location for some damn labels because ours hadn't shipped out yet. This man is NOT employed there so there's no reason why he should be being employed to do her job for her!

I also terminated the contract for my stand cause now I'm no longer there to watch my stuff and if bitch gets away with throwing shit around once, she gon do it again. Told her rip that shit up.

Now my sister was mad at me but not for long cause she knew i was upset but I was NOT talking outta anger, I mean what I said but she wanted to see if she could figure out what's going on cause I'm not the only owner of the kiosk which is fair, so we head up to the job and the assistant manager that I worked closely with was there, looking like a deer caught in headlights. This is her norm but it pissed me off more than usual.

She tried breaking bad on me, telling my sister that I called this person and that person and told em all types of shit, now me being me again, I'm asking wtf I said cause when we first started asking her questions, she wasn't aware of this and that and wasn't even allowed in the email anymore lmao and for an assistant manager, that's a bold face lie to tell cause how the emails get answered? It's just you here, dummy! YOU KNOW WHATA GOIN ON BITCH!

So when I asked her what I said in the email she just said she wasn't allowed in, she gon smirk at me and say "you know what you said"... nah! Since YOU know what's in the emails, you tell ME what I said. After that she sobered tf up and that smirk went bye bye. She even backed away from the counter cause I was getting so agitated, and she's scared of me. We've also had it out before so she knows her limits and me not being her coworker anymore, she knew better than to test me.

So I end up separating from my sister cause the conversation was going nowhere, only for us to find each other again and assistant manager told her that I never did my job. Crazy as hell.

When I say I sent a total of three emails and called corporate and only one person responded to my email— the chief of staff, mind y'all! I'm thinking she finna come with it, right? Wrong. Everybody full of hot ass.

She telling me that there were concerns— none of which were brought me but ok— about my work ethic and there's claims from SIX of my coworkers that support me being away and not ready for work but clocked in, also multiple screenshots that support the idea of me not being fond of my job.

I asked that bitch to send me this concrete ass evidence so EYE can see what EYE said and y'all know I ain't get shit back. Not even crickets. Not even a tumbleweed, bitch.

One thing about me, ima ask to see the evidence. Y'all not finna act like y'all got something on me and not share it with the class?!? Come on, where's the fun in that?!

Couldn't take the time to fabricate some text messages or print out a write up and forge my signature! Nothing!

So when it came time for me to get my unemployment, of course they tried making that difficult too! But ima fight for myself. I've come to far in that, not to.

Got them ppl sending me questionnaires and in ever text box they provided, I went into lengthy detail about this whole situation, I was so tired of telling mfs that I wasn't aware of why I was even fired, it made me literally ill.

It was like I was talking in circles and nobody was listening to me, which is something that makes me physically violent. So something needed to be done asap, cause if I gotta sit my black ass at home, I'm getting my duckets in the meantime!

So I got fired of the 16th of January, right? On the 17th of February, I log into DES and guess who was approved for their well deserved mf money cause them bitches ain't have no evidence to support me never doing my mf job?! Yeah! YEAH!!!! I cackled all morning long bitch, it was so funny and hilarious and delightful!!!

But I've been looking for a job for the last three months and it's about to be May. By the grace of god and my mama do I still have money in the bank, but the unemployment is on its last leg and it don't know what to do. I just feel like a failure a lot of the time, it really sucks to keep getting rejection letters in my email but ima keep trying. Just don't know how much try I have left in me.

So yeah, if y'all made it to the end of my long ass diary entry, I appreciate y'all and hope y'all take care of y'all selves at these jobs cause they give not one fuck about ya, k? K, stay lovely and spicy 😘😘😘😘

#miyuhpapayuh #been meaning to get all this ofc my chest so here it goes

[ceruleanfuckup]

I'm so excited for my D&D campaign

#i ran one in this world for two and a half years where everything is ravaged by dragons #but now theres been a somewhat revolution because one of the only surviving major cities was impulsively conquered by my players #so things have been shaken up a lot and now they have a holiday because they brought i think three gods to earth at once #two of my players became the vessels of the gods of light and darkness and duked it out and fast forward a year or two #and their hold on the economic powerhouse of the continent is solidified and they have partnered with an organization #that specualizes in magical artifacts from every concievable reality #and my NEW campaign is people hired by this organization #The Forge of Wonders #they have this entirely greyed out library full of strange books that when you pick them up gain color and you can read their spines #and these books are stories. theyre fairy tales. theyre pirate adventures. theyre dragon babysitting. theyre demon apocalypses. #and these stories are worlds. theyre stories in truth. and my players have been hired to dive into the stories and retrieve Thing #for the forge of wonders #which means i get to make WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BITCHES #i get to be so fucking impulsive with my story crafting #and im not going to balance anything correctly. theyre just going to have to assume from the summary in the front page if its doable #demon apocalypse? probably outside of our level. gnome tinkerers? probably not too bad #and ill have prebuilt stories and something theyre taked with retrieving and they get to choose which onr yhey do #anyways the forge of wonders started as a magic shop that only accepted platinum (1000 gold) as currency so they did a lot of shopping ther #i just took that old document full of crazy magical items and i tweaked it and molded it and added to it and the new version is 33 pages 🥰 #thats what ive been doing at work the past three days lol #dnd #my dnd

[timetravellingkitty]

.

#last night an ex friend who ignored me for 6 fucking months just messaged me saying “oh im sorry i want to make things clear between us” #“i dont want any bad relations before the end of the year blah blah blah” #and she didn't even apologise properly #i told her i didnt accept her apology because i didnt trust her anymore and that i deserved friends who cared about stuff like that #and her response to that? “wow nice to see you're so cocky let me knock your ego down a few notches” #“you're a loud and obnoxious bitch you think you the world revolves around you just cause you read some feminist books” #which tells me that she really didnt mean her sorry #she just wants a clean slate and validation she's actually a good person #im sorry but you dont get to use as a stepping stone for YOUR character development #why apologise if you don't fucking mean it #and the worst part is my friend still thinks she's a good person and whatever blah blah blah FUCK OFF #i know no one really wants to listen what i have to say given that i'm always taken as a joke #but srsly fuck off it's amazing how her friend hurting me isnt a big deal cause she's “not as bad as i think she is” #god i miss my old friends we have such a strong bond but we don't meet that often i just want to hug them so bad #i'm glad i didnt listen to the part of me that wanted to forgive her one of my ex friends was also like her and i've learnt my lesson #vent #personal

[lightbulb-warning]

16 classmates means 256 potential dynamics to explore if we only consider 1 on 1 interactions (which i will! ...until this sentence ends) and that means 256 drawings. considering that group interactions exist and it can be any combo that is... a way larger number.

i have 2 hands, 0 time and too much ambition!!

haha! oh no.

#i would like to live my life and also fundematally tear apart my hpfxtn from the inside out and roll in its guts #that's not really possible unfortunately #because TIME #bitches love to hate on me for “quality over quantity uwu” which is valid as FUCK babe you do you #i need to do me and me wants to be engulfed in the concept of interaction. yes specifically through ship art. #that means gotta go fast. #as in. i get told a lot i should not try to improve my drawing speed because i draw fast enough. they fail to consider that i want to!!!! #my brain is an enigma to me too im a barely functioning human if me having social competence comes in the form of free art then #my therapist is gonna make so much fun of me i guess #/lh #mind you. this here talking to myself? this is all silly bullshit ego. i know very well whatever i WANT to do ill end up drawing koquichechi #“ok me we made a plan to practice drawing subtle understated emotions with charact-” “what if we drew koquichechi slapstick instead” #“but the PLAN??” “look at that. it's koquichechi.” #and then i babysit myself into FORCING myself to draw shit i want to draw and would enjoy drawing but it takes SO LONG #an doing things that take time *takes time*. outrageous. how dare you. i hate it. (bla bla bla time is an illusion i KNOW) #and im still figuring out subtle. groooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!!!! #eh whatevs! #whether i make ANY of my bullshit projects real or not what matters is having fun with it before i die /lh #its gonna be okay #*yearning* i just think itd be cool!! #shut up maiora #rambling #i get threatened with violence constantly by art friends. they're so completely right. #anyway tell me all about your rare-pairs if you want!! i might scribble em in my free time :> #(use the ask box) #(yes platonic too!) #(i think itd be fun 👉👈) #(i wanna hear people's thoughts!!) #(might be done in pencil ^^') #(im getting distracted HAVE A NICE DAY BUHBYE)

[skenpiel]

oh ok. i just figured out what my fucking problem is. its the endometriosis -_-

#every time ive gotten sick lately its been the exact same #like. first almost fever but fever symptoms and sore throat like a cold #and then stomach pain and nausea and all that #i told mama im feeling a bit better and she was like ‘but what IS it???’ #i was like huh. what do you mean isnt it just a somach bug #and she was like no this is totally not just a regular stomach flu #so anyway im sure its the endometriosis i was diagnosed with recently. bleeeghhhh :( #also btw i was looking up what foods are safe to eat shortly after stomach illnessess #and it was all mega lame stuff like fucking. boiled fish and soft white rice #(umm. note both of those are very good. just not what i was hungry for) #and i asked mama anyway and she was like oh they did a study on that turns out the best thing you can eat after stomach flu is just whatever #you wanna like literally anything #which makes sense that your body would make you hungry for what you need #kinda like how when i havent eaten in awhile the number one thing my stomach decides it wants is bread and apples #which is like. yeah that adds up lol #ANYWAY. i guess i just wanted to say im feeling a little better despite my recent swarm of tummy issues #including internal bleeding i guess. but thats apparently been the case for the past 7 years LOL #NOTHING DANGEROUS BTW!!!!!!! it just hurts like a bitch And im gonna get treatment for it soon teehee ^__^

[nerdgirlnarrates]

A few years ago, I started a student organization. I recruited a couple officers, but then interest died off a bit. This year, after meeting with the officers and coming up with a plan, I was the only one who did any of my work. Fine, these things happen. I decided to continue working on it as much as I felt up to it. I emailed everyone today about a project I’ve been working on and need help with, and someone I’ve never spoken to emailed me back saying she and an officer have some ideas of their own and they would like to meet with me but I haven’t been responding. This is interesting because:

- I have no emails from them. I searched my inbox to make sure I hadn’t missed anything.

- I have never met this person before.

- this person is not an officer

The email went on to tell me about what “makes a student group most successful,” and essentially accuses me of purposefully ignoring them and not contributing enough to the group. I’m feeling incredibly pissed off about this. The fucking audacity to lecture me on working hard and having a team when I have done the most work and been the most communicative.

I did agree to meet with them, but I’m very tempted to tell them this email was out of line.

#i’m so fucking tired of trying to be gracious and solicitous to people who then try to walk all over me #I don’t want to be mean #I do want to be firm about how if they want to work as a team they need to step up and do that #but don’t fucking cry to me about how I didn’t answer emails you didn’t send #I think they’re mad at me for getting work done on my own? #which fine bite me #I’m not gonna stop working on this elective though #and I’m not gonna hand over my work either #man I’ve just had a bunch of people be really rude to me for no reason lately #and I’m over being nice #I’m so tired of trying to be understanding and kill em with kindness or whatever #I’m just gonna be a bitch from here on out #so people will leave me alone #and stop trying to make me feel like shit or take my work #I’m too tired for this #okay rant over #my content #my text posts #medblr #med school #med student #medicine

[xll]

opinion: having borderline doesnt mean youre not just fucken right sometimes.😭

#people just fucken love to discredit everything thats being said on an 'overreaction' or even toxic behavior! like yelling! #but sometimes like LOOK INWARD ! REFLECT ! what about you put the ego down for a sec and realize maybe shes right ! #like ok she yelled at you cos shes having the worst episode of her life and she feels no one fucken understands her for even a sec #(WHICH IS TRUE those other bitches have no empathy brother what the hell) #and yelling is toxic and unproductive bla bla #BUT SHE HAS IT FUCKEN WORSE THAN YOU AND BEING A SHITHEAD ABOUT IT ISNT GONNA WOOORRKKK #shes mad because you have no empathy with her. youre mad because she yelled at you for it. these things are fucking different. #note: the one with the ego is TWENTY THREE (the bpd woman im talking about's daughter) #id get if if she was 15 #but like Put The Ego Down #she LOVES! insisting like ''well she should go to a fucking doctor'' literally i think all you guys will get what i mean #wanting others to go see psychiatrists because youre mad that they dont pamper you? discrediting all reactions on ''being crazy''? #AND YOURE WONDERING WHY SHES SO DESPERATE #anyways. its hard to read the whole situation thru tags but theyre treating my aunt (bpd) like shes crazy and being all angwy cos theyre #not being pampered lol suck it up for a sec #LITERALLY WHERE IS THE EMPATHY THE COMPASSION IM SO MAD #they make everything about themmmmm #me.txt #disclaimer: ik whatever behavior is not exclusive or inherent to bpd i just think they relate in this specific situation #and thats ok... #its fuckin hard man #also by bpd i dont mean it like psychiatry-bootlickers would.

[slutdge]

my favorite part about life is that it is completely pointless and then you die, but like ive chosen to view that as a positive

#as in i can either get the support i need from social services and escape this abusive relationship #or not and then i just kms #or relapse and just keep using til i die #and all three of those are equal in my mind now theyre just. neutral. i really feel like im just playing a video game these days. #nothing means anything to me anymore no matter how much i want it to its just like. going through the motions. #and ive developed into this mindset over the last 6 months or so involuntarily #i used to Feel Things but thats been declining since my cousin killed himself #and moreso since the doctors told us my grandmas got a year max to live #ive just lost my ability to care anymore if that makes sense #being unmedicated because i cant get in to see my doctor probably isnt helping either #maybe psychiatrists should be responsible and not ghost rheir fucking patients for over a year so it didnt have to get to this #but i feel like its a point of no return. even if i get back on my meds. the last 12 months of bullshit have just caused irreperable damage #to my outlook on life #i think the despair is permanent #yes i know all i do is bitch and moan about my life go away lmao #think ive earned my right to bitch and moan considering what i have to go through on a daily basis #almost feels like this outlook on life has been healing which. says a lot about the fucking bullshit i have to put up with #just feels like game over and for once im ok with it. im completely alone taking this its all me and thats fine #i like myself more than ever to be honest like this is the closest ive ever felt to myself ever. whatever the fuck that even means. #the bottom line is that feeling like ive completely lost my mind has made me feel more like myself than i ever have #this makes no sense im psycjotic blah blah blah ignore me #whatever im screaming into a void here #what im trying to say it gets to the point in lifelong abuse where youre so severely beaten down #no one can help you. so you can either choose to kill yourself or keep living and hope maybe one day it will stop #but the latter may ultimately be for nothing theres no guaraentee or hope youll ever be free of that #and theyre neutral options to me because i know theres almost no hope of escape considering how powerful this person is #havent decided which of those options are the best for me yet but there is one certain which is i will be alone #but im coming to force myself to accept that and try and not think of it as such a bad thing #being alone is ok especially in death i think #this sort of robotic feelingless mental illness takeover of my brain is slowly helping me accept that

[satanfemme]

my parents are fucking assholes and every day I pray for a heart attack or something. :|

#me: so I'm probably gonna adopt a dog. since u guys have financial control over me rn I was wondering if you could explain some financi -- #them: this is stupid you're being stupid how could u even consider this you are NOT allowed to have a dog you stupid poor idiot. #like DAMN ok...... not what I fucking asked..... also: die......... #literally OPENED with ''this isnt your decision to make so do not give me any negative comments over this just tell me the financial facts' #and well what do you know BOTH of them (even tho I only messaged one) respond just to unpromptedly veto the idea right off the bat #as if I'm not literally my own person and an adult who can do whatever tf I want...? #I DON'T EVEN LIVE WITH THEM??? #THEY'RE A STATE AWAY and trying to lecture me on my lifestyle and what I'm capable of. bitches you don't fucking KNOW me anymore #and they were ABSOLUTELY giving me conflicting info to what the trained adoption counselors were saying which is just hilarious like #SORRY but neglecting a dog 10 years ago doesn't make u an expert on animal care compared to professionals - #- FFS I MYSELF am a dog care technician.... so why tf are they trying to explain dog care to me - u know what nvm #I'm getting high now. fuck those guys. fucking assholes. fucking pos. fucking piss off unhelpful parasites. #think they're right just cause they have power over me. I could get a fucking degree in dog science and it wouldn't mean shit to them. #negative

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

aalgjfhdjkvghdkjgdhgjk i got blocked for my tags on the stede/iggy post WHOOPS

#mine #not gay pirates #i mean idc abt being blocked but i DO feel kinda bad for bothering op. SORRY MY B #genuinely didnt mean it as a personal attack or anything y'all can ship whatever u want however u want fuck if i care #but as a huge fan of Bitch Bonnet i just get. SO confused when ppl make him nice to izzy. not mad just confused #like if i shipped it i feel like stede's bitchiness would be a key feature of the dynamic. i dont Get why so many fans declaw him #baffled. and the fact that i see it So Much makes me all caps WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING levels of confused #but again. CONFUSED. i DONT rlly care lmao. hence why i dont have the tag blocked! #but i also DIDNT seek it out lmao i just went on the tumblr for u page on a whim. i literally never go there lol #and ive MADE my own post abt how confusing it is that so many fans make stede nice to izzy. ive made TWO posts abt it lol #i just saw that post right after work and was like 'THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME' but it's FINE y'all can do whatever u want!! #i guess i come off more aggressive than i mean to when communication is text-only. i should prooobably work on that lol #typing entire sentences in all caps means nothing to me she's like adding flavor adding passion. #im adding a dash of an intense emotion which does not necessarily have to be rage #in this case the emotion was baffled confusion at a phenomenon that doesnt make sense to me but is SO prevalent #and like. iiiidk i often dont realize how adding tags/comments on someone else's post can make them feel like im invading their space #which i should. start considering. #living and learning! anyway sorry to the op of that post i didnt mean to upset u. u are probably not reading this

[mxalmighty]

The Great Almighty Apartment Deep Clean of 2024

is officially underway. My bathroom is the cleanest gd place in this whole building now. It's like stepping into an entirely new universe.

I did that. Me. All by myself. /proud bean

#also my boyfriend said he's proud of me and cussed saying it which i'm already learning means the utmost sincerity from him #and i am like mush and soup now this man is gonna be the death of me #but ye i have a bed being delivered soon and i want a clean af house to work with when i reorganize my bedroom for it #and my apartment is absolutely wrote off i am the picture of depression funk in here #but not the bathroom now #now you could eat off that fucking floor go ahead no don't #idk it's rented it might have older nasties i don't know about that bleach can't kill #anyway i'm supposed to be making food or something now that i'm done for the day #tomorrow i start on the kitchen and forgive myself if i don't get it all done in one go #i'm only allowing myself two hours a day to obsessively let myself deep clean bc otherwise i will literally work myself into a mess #mess being not taking a break lest i lose momentum so i end up unable to move the next day for all the strain #my apartment only has... five rooms total #so between now and the 15th for two hours a day? should be enough to get this place show-worthy #then i can happily host whoever and whatever i want watch me go #self improvement #battling depression like a boss ass bitch

[hybridirl]

i’ve never done this before…

18 + only, please!

ellie x f!loser!reader

a/n: so basically i was on janitor ai because i’m genuinely an addicted freak and this was inspired by a chat i had :3 im also replaying tlou2 bc i cant stop i need it i need it i need it. also i think a LOT more things make sense now, so i think you should replay after u play it.

brief summary: ellie is ur big sister’s best friend! but, unfortunately you’re dubbed an “annoying little sister,” your sister’s not home, ellie’s high when she comes over, and ur a loser nerd who can’t deal with confrontation :(. (au if it wasn’t obvious!)

tw / DUBCON?, ellie is very mean, degrading, praise, pet names, reader is a virgin, small age gap if you really squint, porn without a plot, rushed sex, scissoring (tribbling?), use of y/n i think…

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ꪆৎ ˚

with a grunt, you pulled your pajama pants up the rest of the way. you were headed to the door after hearing seven hard knocks on the door.

“hello—“ you began, cutting yourself off when you see ellie, your sister’s best friend. “ellie?” you glanced behind her, then behind yourself. “she’s not home right now.”

“yeah, yeah,” she slurred, and your lips went into a thin line from her state, so obviously intoxicated. “she told me come ‘n wait. she’s gettin’ her shit rocked, ‘r whatever. she dropped me off ‘ya know? said you wouldn’t mind. you don’ mind, do you?”

being such a caring person had its ups and downs. you weren’t fond of ellie, and she wasn’t fond of you. she had been your biggest bully throughout the entirety of middle and high school. but, you couldn’t deny her entry. she could get hurt or worse, and you didn’t want that. or to be responsible of it.

you adjusted your glasses, eyeing her with a thoughtful look. her eyes were halflidded, red, and she smelled disgusting. she eyed you right back, her stare almost intimidating.

“no, ellie. i don’t mind,” you said begrudgingly, stepping aside to allow her in. you watched her make her way around the all-too-familiar home while you shut the door. you mentally prepared yourself for tending to her needs; you knew she’d tell if you hadn’t. you also prepared for the anger she would inevitably feel. she was an angry person when intoxicated. you leaned against the door and watched her opened the fridge.

“what do you got?” ellie asked, shutting the refrigerator and looking at you. “what’re you gonna make?”

“i don’t know,” you responded and took a glance at the stove. you hadn’t noticed what she took from the fridge, only gasping when you heard the familiar sound of a beer opening. “hey, hey, hey! that’s my dad’s!” you watched ellie shrug and give you a “so what?” look. “stop it, that’s not good for you!” you rushed over, reaching for the beer, but her rough hand kept you in place as she chugged it down. “ellie, stop! you’re already high, that’s gonna make it worse; ellie, stop!”

“and what the fuck do you know?” she asked as she slammed the beer bottle of the counter, “you stupid fuckin’ loser, what the fuck is wrong with you? i’ll do what-the-fuck-ever i want. you’re such a fucking lame-ass, you won’t even take a lil sip o’ this thing,” she stuck the beer can up to your mouth, which you turned away from, “that’s what i thought, you stupid bitch. you’re probably a virgin, too, huh? you don’t even try- nobody even tries for you. no man, no woman, no whatever. never been in a relationship, never been in fuckin’ nothing. you are such a fucking loser.”

your jaw was slack, almost looking like a fish out of water as it tried to shut and open.

“you’re too high for this,” you said slowly, still shocked at her words. you took a step back, your back pressing against the island counter.

“you don’t know the first thing about ‘too high,’ jackass. bet you never had a dick in you before. too busy studyin’ your stupid fucking books to be the good girl you are. can’t even do this because you’re always bein’ a teacher’s pet, always bein’ a goody-two-shoes, know it all, fucking bitch. probably got a few toys like the desperate freak you are. maybe a dildo? nah, you want that pussy t’stay tight, huh?” you thought it couldn’t get worse than the insults before, but this was insane. your eyes were wide, shock filling your features.

“ellie!” you gasped in horror and embarrassment, “i— i’m calling my sister!”

“you’re a fucking snitch!” she giggled, pointing at you. “she doesn’t care what the fuck i’m saying to you. she’s too busy slutting herself out to give a fuck about your pathetic ass, baby.”

“go away, ellie,” you whimpered out, eyes at the ground. you attempted to push past her, but her hands gripped your wrists. “please.”

“you’re not getting rid of me,” she growled, her beer-breath filling your nostrils, “you’re a goddamn joke. i’m not going anywhere ‘til i’m good ‘n ready. you just know i’m right.” she leaned in, her lips brushing your cheek as she whispered deep into your ear, “you just want my hands all over you, don’t you, y/n? i’ve seen how you watched me. you want a real woman’s hands on ‘ya. all of over your pretty body, hm?”

“no,” you whispered right back, your brows furrowed. this was your sister’s best friend. this was just… wrong; you couldn’t explain it, but it wasn’t right. and she was high! she didn’t know what she was doing, what she was saying, but her touch felt so…

“don’t you lie to me,” she huffed her breath hot in your ear, “you wanna get touched bad. you know you do. you want my hands slidin’ down your pretty panties and touchin’ that clit. make you cum all on my hand. you want that, don’t you?”

“ellie,” you almost moaned out at her dirty talk, your brows knitted together in conflict. your hand went to cover your mouth as her hand slipped beneath the waistband of your pjs and simultaneously your underwear.

“let it out, baby,” she told as your hand muffled a broken moan, “you’re already so, so wet for me. this pussy’s just beggin’ for my touch, huh?” her finger-pad ran across your clit and your knees buckled. she giggled in response, a lazy grin plastered on her face. “mm, ya feel that? this’s what y’ve been missin’ out on with all that nerdy bullshit you do.” her fingers slipped easily inside you, making your eyes roll with pleasure; another moan escaped your throat. “y’so tight. just like i thought.” she pulled her fingers out, quickly giving them a lick before tugging your bottoms down. “oh, baby…” she moaned at the sight, licking her lips as she took you in. “look at that pretty pussy. mhm, ‘n all f’r me, huh?” she knelt down, getting face to face with your cunt. “answer me.” she kissed at your inner thighs. all you could do was watch, trembling under her dominating touch.

you yelped, jumping in surprise as she bit your thigh harshly.

“i said answer.”

“y-yes! all for you, ‘s all for you,” you whimpered, whining as her mouth finally met with your drooling pussy. your resolve had slipped away, only thinking about that needy, touch-starved vulva of yours. “oh, ellie…” she grinned as she watching you come undone, your fingers slipping into her hair and tugging at it. she lapped and lapped at your clit, tongue running circles around the sensitive bud. she gave it a last kiss before she pulled away, smirking at your distress.

“preview, baby. all that was. go to your room, m’followin’ you.”

you were anxious to walk, taking just a moment before giddily rushing to your room. the masculine woman easily followed your direction, shutting the door hard behind her as she pulled you down to the bed with her. her hands were immediately on you as you lay atop her, caressing and running down your back, cupping your ass and squeezing.

“you’re so ready for me baby, aren’t you?” she asked with a small smirk playing at her lips. “you wanna grind that pretty pussy on mine, don’t you?”

“i-i’ve never done this before, i-i don’t know what to do,” you admitted, although she already knew your circumstance.

“makin’ me do all the work, you pretty lil pillow princess?” she teased, that same lazy grin on her face. she easily flipped you over, watching your eyes widen in surprise. “god, how are you so perfect…” she moaned softly to herself, her hands running down your sides, down your legs, and down your calves. she reached her jeans, unbuttoning them and tugging them down quickly. you gulped as you eyed her pubic mound, her dark hair trimmed finely.. she lifted your hips up, appreciating your vulva once more. she used her thumb to lift up your clitoral hood, bending down to meet the pearl with her tongue. “mm, god, i can’t get enough of you. pull your shirt up, wanna see those tits ‘ve been wantin’ to see.” you did as you were told, quickly pulling your nightshirt up and showing her your breasts. a groan left her throat as her hands reached out to touch them, tweaking and rolling your nipples between her fingers.

“please,” you whined, your head tilted back. “please, ellie…”

“oh, i know you’re so needy, huh? never done this before? never been touched so good by another girl b’fore, huh?” ellie teased once more, and all you could do was nod. it was all true. “say it, baby. tell me how much of a loser you are.”

with an embarrassed grimace, you obliged, “i-i’m a big loser. ‘ve never, ever gotten laid ‘n i wanna… oh!” you gasped as you felt the sensation of her pussy meet yours. “ellie…” her hips ground against yours, your clits bumping and running across each other.

“you like this? my pussy all over yours?” she growled, rolling her hips to meet your cunt. “fuck, you’re so wet.” you moaned out, your hands trying to find a place to stay as they flailed. they gripped the sheets and you watched above as her pussy slid across yours. you both glistened with a thin layer of sweat, your bodies becoming hot with arousal. “you feel so fucking good.”

“yes,” you cried, “more.” and she gave you more, her hips rolling with fervor while you writhed in pleasure. “p-please— ellie!”

“yeah, scream my name you little slut,” she purred, her auburn hair sticking to her sweaty face. “let ‘em know— let the neighbors know you’re finally getting laid.”

you continued to moan her name, completely drunk on this feeling. she let out small little ‘just like that’s’ as your voice echoed off the walls of your room.

it was intense, your bodies moving together and so perfectly in sync. sweat dripped from her forehead onto your belly, slightly coating your skin. her hands gripped your chest as she ground against you, the position slightly awkward, but pleasing nonetheless as your heats mushed together in symphony. sloppy squelches filled your ears, almost drowned out by your moans and cries as she took you.

“i’m gonna,” you began, tears welling up in your pretty eyes, “i’m gonna cum, ellie!”

“yeah? right on my pussy? cum right on my pussy, baby,” she moaned, her hands reaching her cup her own breast. you moaned, following her command like a dog as your canal contracting around nothing, costing her slick folds in all your essence. your body convulsed as you came, and the sight forced a moan out of her throat. “yeah, that’s it, my good girl, fu—ck… i’m cumming!” with her orgasm following in suit, she gripped your leg hard, riding out her orgasm as you tried to come down from your own. you whined from the overstimulation, feeling her arousal spread out on your flesh. she shushed you, her index finger on your lips as she calmed her breathing. she dropped your leg, plopping beside you with a grunt.

“t-that was good,” you said to her, your eyes lingering on her glistening face.

“mhm, now you get to brag to a—ll your nerdy, little virgin friends that you,” she jabbed a finger, “got laid.”

“you’re mean,” you huffed, a little pout on your face. she smirked, bringing a hand to the back of your neck and bringing you in to kiss.

“yeah?” she chuckled, “but you like it.”

#tlou2 #tlou x reader smut #tlou smut #tlou x reader #lesbian #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader smut #ellie x you #ellie tlou2 x reader #bisexual #hybridirl .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #tlou2 smut #ellie williams x reader smut #tlou2 x reader smut #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou x reader smut #the last of us smut #the last of us x reader

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''