#i get to be so fucking impulsive with my story crafting

[ceruleanfuckup]

I'm so excited for my D&D campaign

#i ran one in this world for two and a half years where everything is ravaged by dragons #but now theres been a somewhat revolution because one of the only surviving major cities was impulsively conquered by my players #so things have been shaken up a lot and now they have a holiday because they brought i think three gods to earth at once #two of my players became the vessels of the gods of light and darkness and duked it out and fast forward a year or two #and their hold on the economic powerhouse of the continent is solidified and they have partnered with an organization #that specualizes in magical artifacts from every concievable reality #and my NEW campaign is people hired by this organization #The Forge of Wonders #they have this entirely greyed out library full of strange books that when you pick them up gain color and you can read their spines #and these books are stories. theyre fairy tales. theyre pirate adventures. theyre dragon babysitting. theyre demon apocalypses. #and these stories are worlds. theyre stories in truth. and my players have been hired to dive into the stories and retrieve Thing #for the forge of wonders #which means i get to make WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BITCHES #i get to be so fucking impulsive with my story crafting #and im not going to balance anything correctly. theyre just going to have to assume from the summary in the front page if its doable #demon apocalypse? probably outside of our level. gnome tinkerers? probably not too bad #and ill have prebuilt stories and something theyre taked with retrieving and they get to choose which onr yhey do #anyways the forge of wonders started as a magic shop that only accepted platinum (1000 gold) as currency so they did a lot of shopping ther #i just took that old document full of crazy magical items and i tweaked it and molded it and added to it and the new version is 33 pages 🥰 #thats what ive been doing at work the past three days lol #dnd #my dnd

[marypsue]

There’ve been a few responses to/reblogs with tags on my post about DIY clothing embellishments that basically boil down to ‘I’d love to do this but I’m scared it’ll turn out bad/I’m not a good enough artist’. And I get it, I really do! I also want my art things to turn out nicely. But also...making it badly is sort of the point of punk DIY. 

Listen. We live in a world that would dearly love to charge you a subscription fee for breathing. The bastards are doing everything they possibly can to figure out how to turn art - stories, visual art, music, textile/fibre art, sculpture, crafts and creations of every kind - into a neat, discrete, packageable commodity, a product they can chop up into little pieces and stick behind a paywall so they can charge you for every drop of it you want to have in your life. 

The whole sneering idea that ‘everybody wants to be some kind of creator now’ and anything less than absolute mastery right out the gate is somehow shameful and embarrassing is a tool those bastards are using. It’s a way to reinforce the idea that only a set group of people can create and control art, and everybody else has to buy it. 

But art isn’t a product. Art is a fundamental human impulse. Nobody is entitled to a specific piece of art (which is where this message gets skewed into pitting people who love art against the artists who make it, while the bastards screw us all and run away with the money). But making art belongs to everybody. We make up songs and dances and stories, and paint things, and make clothes, and embellish them, and carve flowers into our furniture and our lintels and our doorframes, and make windows out of tiny pieces of coloured glass, and decorate our homes and our bodies and our lives with things we make and make up, simply for the love of beauty and of the act of creation. Grave goods from tens of thousands of years ago show that ancient hominids gave their dead wreaths of ceramic flowers, tattooed their bodies, beaded their shoes. Making things for the sake of beauty and enjoyment is one of the most ancient and human things we can do. 

The idea that we can’t, that we have to buy shit instead, because art is a product and you have to have the bestest prettiest most perfect product, is the enemy of joy. It’s the death of culture. And it means that, instead of whatever it is that you cherish and enjoy and value, you get whatever inoffensive (and to whom is it inoffensive?) bland meaningless samey-samey crap that the bastards want you to be allowed to have. What are you missing and what are you missing out on, if you don’t make or modify or decorate anything for yourself, if you don’t think you can because the product at the end won’t be polished or perfect or marketable enough? What do you lose? What do we lose? 

It is a desperately vital and necessary thing for you to make shit. For you to know that you can make shit, that you don’t have to just lie back and take whatever pablum the bastards want to force-feed you (and charge you through the nose for). That the bastards need you more than you need them. 

Become ungovernable. Be your own weirdly-endearing punk little freak. Paint on a t-shirt. Sing off-key in the shower or at karaoke night or at open mic night. Make up a story where you get to meet your favourite fictional character and you guys hug or fuck or punch each other in the face. Make art. Do it badly. Do it frequently. Do it enthusiastically. Do it for love and joy and creativity and fun and the spiteful joy of thumbing your nose at some smug motherfucker with a Swiss bank account who wants to track your heartbeat and location for the rest of your life in order to automatically pump AI-generated beats matched to your mood into your earbuds for a small monthly subscription fee of $24.99/month. It is literally the only way we are ever going to have even a chance to save art and our own lives from the bastards. 

So. Paint that t-shirt. 

(Also support artists where you can, and buy your music from Bandcamp.)

#this post brought to you by: me being so so sad about zoomers having crafts and Making Thing With Your Hands Badly stolen from them #also by me listening to a radio show on How The Sony Walkman Changed Music And Where It's Going Next #ready for the san andreas fault to open up and swallow silicon valley whole forever folks #anyway. followers i am getting down off the cafeteria table now.

[sinning-23]

Piercings (Sanji x Reader)

I’ve fallen down the one-piece rabbit hole and most likely have a new hyperfixation I don't care they’re all hot and I will write like my life depends on it. Anyway, ENJOY SOME SANJI 💃🏾✨

Pt.2 out now! (18+)

Warnings: flirting, heavy touching, mentions of needles, kissing omg so scary

You're leaning against the bathroom sink, trying your damdest to keep a steady hand while you try and slide the needle through the skin of your lip. This wasn’t your first rodeo, considering you have plenty of piercings from your past. Whether it was a manic episode, a silly little impulse decision, or one you'd been wanting for a while, you had them.

Being out on the ocean didn’t really leave you a chance to go and get them done by someone in a shop but you picked up tips and knew what to do for the most part. Besides, if you messed up, you'd just have a little story to tell about it later!

You focused, taking one swift, deep breath before letting the metal into your skin, moving calculated with the jewelry, eyes watching a bit from the shock. This one was a bit easier since you’d had them before and the holes had closed. Observing your face with a smile, satisfied with your work you exit the bathroom.

As far as you knew the only other person with a semi noticeable piercing was Zoro. And even though you two didn’t really bond over it, it was something you had in common. Nami had her ears pierced as well but that was cause you'd offered when she mentioned wanting them. Commotion from the kitchen slows you down and you can’t help but let curiosity get the best of you. It was most likely just Sanji making something for lunch.

“Good morning!” You announce, making your way to the countertop to take a seat.

As predicted, Sanji was focused on his craft, hands moving from different ingredients to one big pot and two smaller pans steaming away behind him. Nami waves and smiles in response as Luffy follows behind her, snatching up an orange before smiling your way.

"Good morning Y/n!" Luffy beams, the kitchen falling in silence once again when the pair leaves.

...does this mf not see you sitting here all pretty?

"Good morning to you too my beautiful, wonderfully glorious, super sexy, absolutely adored y/n" You state, albeit a bit teasing.

He looks up for a moment, not missing the way you had rolled your eyes at the fact that he hadn't bothered to return the acknowledgment to you.

"Good morning chérie." He smiles, always intrigued by your chipper yet, slightly flirtatious attitude.

When you first arrived, it was really just to be an extra set of hands and someone with a rather extensive knowledge of islands. Not to mention pretty damn good with the locals considering you were a people person much like your captain. Anyway, Sanji tried his hand at the compliments and pet names, but you always returned them with quick wit.

In all honesty, it shocked him, and soon you were engaged in a mutual flirtatious game of cat and mouse. Pet names became hushed compliments and whispers in one anothers ear. Brief touches became prolonged and damn could you two hold eye contact. At this point, it was basically an eye-fucking starting contest.

You grin at him, tucking your lower lip between your teeth.

Sanji paused for a moment to examine your face, four shiny dots along your lower lip, two on either side. He swallows hard, trying to shake himself out of his thoughts. What a pretty mouth.

"New piercings?" He questions, turning away from you and back to the stove.

You give a quick, "mhm!" and hop off to hover beside him.

"Shark bites, I mean, we are on the open ocean so why not!" You explain, leaning against the stove for a moment before jumping back with a hiss. Leave it to you to get injured while trying to mess around and chat in a busy kitchen!

It's instantaneous when Saji turns to see if you're injured, his own coming to yours to observe the burn. It wouldn't be the first item he's asked you to not mess around in here while he's working but you were so damn hardheaded, he knew this. But you just couldn't help it!

Unbeknownst to him, being around him and seeing him was the highlight of your day. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't developed feelings for the flirt. But considering he wasn't just flirty with just you, but Nami too, you'd made plenty of excuses and reasons to back off, even toning down your flirting a bit, thinking that you were getting in the way of who he really wanted.

It always killed you on the inside little bit, thinking of how one day maybe Nami would fall victim to his charm like you had. She'd be the one to whisper things to him, the one to press kisses to his face in adoration maybe. It was an odd way to punish yourself and keep your distance, imagining unrequited love but hey, to each their own.

However, unbeknownst to YOU as well, Sanji had developed a old-fashioned crush. How could he not! He loved the teasing, if he was being completely honest. He loved how you stayed just close enough to him to make his heart beat faster. He'd be more than happy to have you closer in all honesty. Pretty face, pretty personality, witty, fierce, bold as hell might he add.

Not to mention shawty got a body on her- Sanji redirects his focus, looking up into those pretty (e/c) eyes.

Taking your hand he pushed it under the icy water from he sink a silence washing over you.

His hands are bigger than yours, littered with scars as he rubs circles over the top of your hand in comfort. You swallow hard, trying to distract yourself from how warm his grasp feels on your wrist. Gentle but warm, contrasting with the harsh water. He's focused, lips and teeth fiddling with a small silver sphere while he turns the water off and grabs the aid kit beside him.

"Sanji." You breathe out, searching his eyes and lips briefly.

"Stick out your tongue....please?" You ask, seeing him swallow hard, ears flushed red., heat spreading to his cheeks. He doesn't follow through with the request.

Using your free hand, you follow the curve of his jaw before using your thumb to slide down his lips. Soft.

"I'll show mine if you show yours." You offer, letting your tongue slide over your lips deceivingly.

He's got this damn irresistible puppy look in his eyes, his lips parking only a bit before he sticks his tongue out, the silver shining in the kitchen light.

You bit your lower lip for a moment, letting your tongue do the same, only for him to find that it was split. He stopped dressing your hand now, the pain greatly dulled with a new distraction.

"Any more surprise body mods I should know about?" Sanji questions, voice dripping with desire.

Keeping your distance was a joke at this point because you'd be damned if you did have your lips on him within the next 10 seconds.

"I could ask you the same. Though, you should take me out before you see what else I have on my body? Don't you think Sanji?" You whisper his name, testing the waters.

It doesn't take much else for him to lean forward, your lips connecting like puzzle pieces. It's a soft pec at first, but soon becomes hungry and consuming, his pierced tongue sliding over your split one. It's hotter in here, his body caging you in, your hands fighting between staying on him, or resting against the countertop for support.

The tobacco on his tongue is addicting, just as much as the way he makes a point to make you feel the small metal sphere. There's only a moment to breathe, but when you do your right back on each other, this time, finding more stability with your arms around his neck, and his hands at your hips, thumbs tracing just above the curve of your ass. And then he feels it.

"Back dermals. Impulse decision but the backshots are nice."You hum, pulling at his lower let gently with your teeth.

He groans, the grip on your hips becoming tighter when he dips his lips down to the skin of your neck, sucking for a moment in debate. Your bodies are pressed flush against each other, his ears red as the color spreads to his cheeks. It's so damn hot in here.

"Backshots huh?"All takes is a whimper from you and he's back to work, the metal from his piercing sliding over your skin.

A look of horror washes over you before you can respond back, and you're pushing against him in a hurry. He opens his mouth to question what's wrong, anxiety seeping into his chest but before he can ever get a chance to overthink, you're already shouting.

"THE STOVE, SANJI! THE STOVE! ITS ON FIRE!"

____________________

LMK IF YOU WANN BE TAGGED IN PT.2

that one gets a little(a lot) spicier and uninterrupted by kitchen chaos and fire hazards

#x reader #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #one piece sanji #sanji live action #sanji x reader #one piece #one piece live action #opla x reader #one piece x reader #i don't care he's hot #this is my current obsession so bear with me

[pralinesims]

hey hey Evan 🥰 I was wondering if you could tell us more about the sims featured in your latest CC drop? Who are they? What's the lore? I think I remember you posting a little about them before, but I'd love to hear more!! ❤

Ahh, thank you so much for sending this ;_; talking about my characters makes me so happy!

Extensive lore would be too long, so I will just drop some random facts:

The first one is Midnight (actually Milena), the only one out of the 4 shown that I haven't done a small introduction yet on.

Canonically got lip fillers at some point in her life.

She's a depressed waitress and hates her job cause of the many rude customers.

Insecure af. She manages to hide it quite well, but she doesn't come off confident either.

Tries to become an author, but writers block kills all her motivation, even if she did plan out a whole book already.

Second one is my fav influencer boy Aaron:

Eats way too many sweets, but his main excuse is that he's vegan (cause it's no meat, duh).

Whiny. WHINYYY and resentful. He's a kind guy, but if he hates you, he doesn't hesitate to show it.

Wasn't always like that though, earlier in his life he was masking himself, being kind even to undeserving people, cause he was afraid of getting judged. Now he doesn't give a fuck.

Cat daddy, has two at home (one is 8 years old, the other 6).

Third one is my baby Gina:

People usually think that she's an introvert cause her social circle is small, but actually she's quite extroverted. She loves being around people.

Loyal af. She showers you with love and affection if she likes you, and if bridges get burnt, it affects her a bit too much.

Super artsy, also while speaking of being very loving, she crafts a lot of things and gifts them to her beloved ones.

Can't cook for the love of god, and prefers ordering pizza, or going out to eat.

Last but not least, Luca:

By FAR the sweetest and most kind character in my story, his heart is too huge tbh.

Despite that, he's also a hotheaded and impulsive person, but manages to usually control himself just fine.

Cut his whole family out of his life, cause they mostly weren't nice people, and hurt him too much.

Dyes his hair blonde for maaany years to the point that he (almost) can't remember his natural color anymore.

#loved answering this ask sm! #my sims #oc facts #midnight #aaron #gina #luca

[imakemywings]

Bingo time!

Daeron obviously, and Thingol

Hehe sending me the unpopular favs...

Alright, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, allow me to put on my defense attorney hat.

Daeron:

Okay #1: THIS FANDOM IS SO MEAN TO HIM.

Look. Listen. Daeron fucked up. He was selfish. He was jealous. He ratted Luthien out because he was pissy. And he almost immediately regrets it. He clearly underestimated what Thingol's response would be and in fact he feels so bad about it he ends up helping Luthien escape. And she forgives him. Even Luthien did not hold his actions against him, but this fandom is determined to paint him as a gross creep which is all the more flooring when Maeglin gets all his far more problematic actions towards Idril handwaved (and in some instances, Idril is criticized for not "giving him a chance"!)

That aside, I love Daeron as a character. He is the greatest musician ever produced by Elvenkind and he dies (presumably) alone and in obscurity. He was chief loremaster of a realm whose record-keeping was almost entirely oral--how much of Doriath's culture and history disappeared with Daeron? He invented an alphabet from scratch and was known to be talented in woodworking and other crafts as well. I would venture to say he is one of few, if not the only, Elves who comes close to Feanor's levels of accomplishment.

He's impulsive, which comes off both in the curse he lays on Doriath (unintentionally?) in the Lay and also in his reveal to Thingol. And yet he also clearly regrets getting Luthien in trouble, almost right away, and he goes with the team that goes looking for her, and self-exiles from Doriath when he fails to find her. Tolkien repeatedly emphasizes in the Lay how "delicate" Daeron is which makes me think he was never much of a fighter, but he went anyway because Luthien was important to him and he wanted to make up for what he had done, even though she had already forgiven him.

Also, personally, I enjoy the notion of him as a bit of a spoiled little shit who will go stirring up a fight and then run behind Thingol the second he might actually be in trouble. Thingol spoils him so much and it's really gone to his head 😔 I also like the notion of Daeron as someone who makes his own instruments and whose style is overall very simple and not flashy.

I think he and Luthien were very close for a long time, even though she was never in love with him and I like to think their reunion after the remaking of the world will be very happy <3

Finally: He has a luxurious mane of microbraids and no one will change my view on this now that I've finally settled on one

P I'm also linking direct to your Daeron defense post for readers who may have missed that.

Thingol:

As with Daeron: The fandom so often seems determined to take Thingol's actions in the least charitable way possible, which I am convinced comes down to 1) He distrusts the fandom faves, the Feanorians (who I think it stands to remember were openly threatening Doriath well before the Second Kinslaying); and 2) He stands between Beren and Luthien and no one likes a guy who gets in the way of a love story.

Also, some of Thingol's best moments come in Children of Hurin, which not every Silm fan has read. I think Thingol also gets hit with a bit of "tell not show" because Tolkien tells us that Thingol was a wise and beloved king, but most of the close-ups we get of him in Silm are of his mistakes.

That said, I have seen some truly batshit takes on Thingol in my brief couple years in this fandom. As with all characters in this story, he made mistakes--some of which had far more serious consequences than he could had foreseen. But I don't think he was a bad person and I think he did try his best, and clearly even he rethought his response to the Beren debacle, because he comes around on Beren.

"Then Thingol's mood was softened; and Beren sat before his throne upon the left, and Luthien upon the right..." (Of Beren and Luthien)

The symbolism of seating Beren at the left hand of the king cannot be overstated and that he does this in full view of his court is a huge gesture of acceptance both of Beren and of his relationship with Luthien (and through her, his relationship to Thingol).

Then, they all go out hunting Carcharoth, and Huan springs on him:

"...but in the howls of Carcharoth was the hate of Morgoth and malice crueller than teeth of steel; and the rocks were rent by their clamour and fell from on high and choked the falls of Esgalduin. There they fought to the death; but Thingol gave no heed, for he knelt by Beren, seeing that he was sorely hurt."

Huan and Carcharoth are having a death battle here but Thingol's only concern is for Beren's safety.

Which I think illustrates one of the most overlooked characteristics of Thingol's: He learns from his mistakes. He recognizes when he's fucked up and he demonstrably works to do better. He's very dismissive of Beren and Men in general at the start of Beren and Luthien's chapter, but later, he takes Turin in to foster, the only time an Elf lord ever fosters a human, and he treats Turin as his own son. He tries very hard not to repeat his mistakes, and in line with Silm's tragic nature, it spares him nothing.

I'm also deeply attached to monsterfucker Thingol. You will not find an Elf in Middle-earth who is more down to dtf in the most bizarre of situations and ways than Thingol. He will let Melian try almost anything at least once and she loves to experiment. They are the sappiest couple in Middle-earth who will address each other with the most sugary saccharine pet names known to man that make everyone else cringe and they will do it in court. Luthien gets that stan gene from both sides.

I'm also just going to link some other Thingol metas here:

Thingol didn't want the Silmaril

Thingol's sense of humor

General Thingol defense

Thingol in "Beren and Luthien"

The Quenya Ban

Thingol allowing Noldor refugees into Doriath

Doriath is not as isolationist as you think

On Thingol's mistrust of Celegorm and Curufin

I think I spent forty minutes on this. I'm normal about Elves, I promise.

#daeron #daeron of doriath #thingol #tolkien bingo #what was my life before I started this post #thingol defense #daeron defense

[ladytauria]

i think i reblogged it from you but never sent you questions, so for the book rec asks: 1, 13, 23, 44, 50, 54, 79, 92, 116, 130, 131 please!! thats A Lot, so feel free to pick and choose haha

ahhh thank u bean! i love talking books uwu

coming back up after answering to edit... um. bean, i'm so sorry for my answer on the last one xD i should have picked a different book. (i ranted. a little.)

1. a book that is close to your heart

there are a few books i could name, but i'm going to do the one i thought of first.

a girl of the limberlost. i only remember reading it once, but my mother is the one who gave it to me, and told me that it was a book she loved at my age at the time. (same with the secret garden.) so i can't think of that book without thinking of her, which makes it a little bit more special to me <3

13. your favorite romance novel

immediate impulse is to say legends and lattes by travis baldree bc. it's so good. however, while there is a romance i don't know if i would count it as a romance novel.

so.

the lady's guide to celestial mechanics. historical, sapphic, featuring both women in STEM (or, yknow, historical equiv) but also an appreciation for domestic arts / crafts normally looked down on. also there's an acknowledgement that homophobia existed, but there's none on page.

the prose is also gorgeous.

i don't actually read a ton of romance novels, but i've been trying to pick up more!

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

mmm, too many

but Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield went on sale on kindle the other day so! it's mine now <3 and one i've been eying for a while. the kindle cover isn't the one i wanted, but that's okay.

44. your favourite fantasy novel

a very large chunk of what i read is fantasy. this is HARD 😂

uhhh.

the locked tomb is technically sci-fi, isn't it?

fuck.

i'm gonna go with The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle bc it is the only book i purposefully own more than one copy of! would love to get my hands on the graphic novel <3

honorary mention to the Inheritence Cycle bc reading Eragon was what got me to start writing my first novel.

which absolutely wasn't just. Eragon but with griffin riders instead.

(okay, legitimately, there were differences, but there was also definitely heavy inspiration.)

50. a book that made you cry a LOT

i don't actually cry at much? the last time i remember actually crying was when i was reading an abridged version of little women and beth died xD

i'm trying to think of another book which really grabbed me emotionally recently that also isn't. already on this list. and i'm coming up empty?

54. a book with the best opening line

i don't have a good memory for opening lines ^^; however for some reason i want to say The Lightning Thief, so. that's what i'm going with.

79. a book that reminds you of your favorite song

my favorite song changes by the moment, so i don't have answer for this one ^^;

92. a book about a redeemable villain

kay, so i almost answered this question with the book i gave for the next question, but i realized i don't? read a lot of multi pov books?? or at least not that i remember being such. i did remember one but it was the second in a duology, so.

so.

anyway!

the closest i can think of atm would be Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone. (highly rec this one, though i was a little disappointed when the pairing i wanted didn't happen xD)

116. a book with multiple povs

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley.

this book.

i.

woof.

okay, so. if you are. remotely squeamish, like. at all? you might wanna give this one a pass. (def check storygraph / other places for trigger warnings. im also happy to elaborate myself, lol.) i am. very squeamish, and made it through only because the story grabbed me tight and wouldn't let go. the worldbuilding is extremely interesting. the characters are all very different and both likeable and unlikeable in a million different ways. but.

oh boy, it was a tough one.

if you're NOT squeamish, though--

it was a 4 or 5 star read for me, iirc, so, y'know. recommended. not sure i'll ever pick it up again, but like. do not regret reading.

130. a book featuring flashbacks and/or intersecting storylines

i know i've read others like this, but the book that comes to mind is--and i had to google this bc it's been so long since i read it---Thirst by Christopher Pike. It was also published under "The Last Vampire." i don't actually recommend them; i read them during my middle school vampire phase and even i remembered being a little mindboggled. mainly bc i think there was an alien abduction in... the second or third book? idk, i had an omnibus.

131. recommend any book you like!

there's only one answer i can give to this, tbh. the locked tomb series brainrot is real and deep and i am. both highly anticipating and dreading the release of alecto so.

i gotta recommend Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

that SAID, i am well aware that this book has a reputation on tumblr esp for being poorly summarized, as the most oft-used pitch is "lesbian necromancers in space."

this is not an inaccurate summary.

BUT.

it is also not complete.

so first, some expectations: it's sci-fi, definitely, but also there are a lot of fantasy vibes? probably because of the swords and the necromancy and the sworn knights-esque plot. uh. basically, it's sci-fi like star wars is sci-fi, but also it's. it's not star wars.

second thing: this series is unreliable narrator central. tamsyn picks the least qualified person in the group for you to follow the story with, and it works. so well. like, firstly bc ofc things get explained (some; it does drop you in and expect you to pick up a lot through context clues) but ALSO because you WILL pick up things you didn't on re-reads. i did a reread before Nona and spent half of it screaming. i'm not much of an annotator beyond highlighting some lines on kindle but i was commenting all over the place.

uh.

i still haven't talked about the plot, my bad.

Gideon the Ninth follows the titular Gideon, after her childhood nemesis and heir to the Ninth House, is invited to the First House by the God Emperor of the Nine Houses to seek quasi-immortality and join him in fighting a war as old as the Houses themselves. When they get there, though, they soon find their fellow heir-and-cavalier pairs being picked off one by one.

this book also features a lot of gay... not pining, not really, but like. Gideon likes women and her pov spends a lot of time appreciating the other women with them xD (this is also part of what makes her unreliable as a narrator. plot? what plot? gideon is here for thirsting, and a little bit of pining.)

also mild enemies to lovers vibes.

ALSO there are memes. there's a none pizza left beef joke in book 2, i'm still not over it.

does get a little squicky at times with loving descriptions of bones and viscera, though.

if i keep talking about this book i won't ever stop <3

[ book recs ask game ]

#bean... yet again you have my sincerest apologies xD #thank you for asking!! #asks and answers #ask gaming #livvyreads #this-was-a-terrible-idea

[drewzelle]

“nine mutuals you want to know better” tag game!

Tagged by @sarenhale ! I didn't have access to my computer the past couple days so I'm a bit late, but this was a lot of fun!! Thank you for the tag <3

Last Song: lately I've been relaxing to the Hollow Knight OST (City of Tears best track) but in terms of lyrical music, I recently rewatched the music video for "Little Dark Age" by MGMT because its vibes are fucking impeccable and mesmerizing (I can watch it on repeat for hours)

Favorite Color: purple is my go-to answer (especially blue-ish purples), but I also really love dark greens and desaturated earthy colors so much

Last Movie/TV Show: I feel like I haven't been watching movies lately (I'm more of a show person because I like longer form narratives) but I think the last one I watched was "Better Off Dead" while I was visiting my family for the holidays. It was a weird/surreal but good time! As for shows, I finally got around to watching Scavenger’s Reign!! Every aspect was just amazing, especially the worldbuilding and visuals. 2D animation is probably my favorite medium, so I'm really glad we're seeing more animation for adults that wants to tell a story instead of being a delivery device for lame sex jokes and cringe humor. OH ALSO DUNGEON MESHI!!! For a lot of the same reasons! Excited to watch the new episode tonight :>

Sweet / Spicy / Savory: I have a HUGE sweet tooth, so if I had to pick one, that would be it. Savory foods are great and I love them, I just have a leftover "now's your chance!" impulse from not being allowed much sugar as a kid that I can't seem to get rid of. I'm also weak to the "I deserve a lil treat" trap if I've got a bunch of sweet snacks around, so I have to be careful. As for spicy….I am SO completely unable to handle spicy food it’s almost funny, but really it’s just tragic because I LOVE cuisines known for being spicy, like mexican and thai. If I eat out, I always have to be like “can you please make it mild?” and even then, if it's not seasoned for the babiest of babies, my mouth will burn and my weak, white-person tummy will hurt.

Relationship Status: I keep forgetting I’m getting married in less than six months. My partner and I got engaged like two years ago and have lived together for almost five, so my brain just defaults to "there’s probably a guy nearby" and doesn’t think much deeper on it than that.

Last thing I googled: "morels" because I was discussing mushrooms with my friend and those are some cool lookin' guys! Shaggy ink caps too!

Current Obsession: …….One Piece 😅 I was a big fan as a teen but only got as far as the Skypiea arc before I fell off reading/watching it. The hype over the new live action version reminded me the series existed, so I’ve been not so slowly making my way through again, picking up where I left off. I love how absolutely bonkers, there-are-no-rules, anime-ass-anime it is, but also how genuine and heartfelt it can be. I also enjoy how character-driven so much of the plot is which works because of how interesting the characters are (Chopper, Robin, and Franky are my favs). I just got to the timeskip, so I’m maybe…halfway through? between this and BG3, RIP my free time lol

Last Book: I've been reading through Seiji Yoshida's "Houses with a Story" (slowly, because I want to really take it in and savor it) and it's been a delight. Very relaxing and inspiring :> (up next, I finally got copies of the Locked Tomb series, so soon I will be enjoying The Space Lesbians)

Looking forward to: Being able to organize and enjoy my "new" office space after some hectic days! My partner and I realized we barely spend any time in our bedroom except for sleeping, so we swapped my office into the bigger room in our apartment! There were some complications with getting the internet working on my PC, but we finally got it all smoothed out. Now I finally have all my books and sewing/crafting/creative stuff in one place without it feeling cramped or hiding things away in storage :>

Thank you again for the tag! I'm tagging @justagoos, @icicleteeth, @lunarliart, @saltsparkle, @fael-draws, @juliedillon, @ninamodaffari, @crabdominalpain, and the final slot for anyone else who wants to join in - but please don't feel obligated, this is just for fun! :>

#thanks again for the tag Saren :D #it was fun to read yours and I'm excited to read some for the people I tagged! #drew says words #personal.txt #tag game #long post

[translightyagami]

15/18/25!

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

i feel a bit like a fraud answering this rn because I have been in a stop/start cycle with all my smut wip lately. but maybe breaking down the process here will help me connect with my roots, so to speak.

my first step is the idea. usually i think of something that'd be hot - idk, spanking, daddy kink, deep vulnerability - and build out from there. often the real heat of a sex scene comes from the context it exists in. take, for example, the final sex scene in "give it to me." yeah its like L moaning and Light having a huge dick, but the real hotness is in the power reversal, the way Light has locked them into mutually assured tragedy for the promise of more sweet detective bussy.

next, i write the dang thing. very sloppy first drafts, right down to writing place-holder dialogue. all i need at this point is to have my little dolls in their "places" so that when I come back, the only thing i have to focus on is refinement. when i do come back for edits, i usually rewrite and reconfigure the entire story with an eye toward sentence construction. this is also when i comb out any really horny tangles. you guys think you're getting the pure unfiltered heart of my erotic ideas? absolutely not. its not a blanket recommendation for everyone to do that, but ya know not every horny impulse makes for compelling reading.

i do write from a visual place. obviously i can see exactly what i want to convey in my head, but i'm only so talented. that's why word choice is so important, as is keeping an eye on craft stuff like diction. readers should be utterly immersed in my erotica to the point that they don't even notice they've been jerking off for an hour. details are more tricky, as too many details are distraction and honestly boring to write. the more details, the less space for the imagination - which is the MOST important part of erotic literature. as a reader, i like the space fill in my fantasies and so as the writer, i try to extend that courtesy to others.

its not that important to be realistic. that's what reality is for. sorry to the people in the audience who are like "eight inches is too big for Light's dick!" i'm an artist and i do as i please.

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

always after. when i start my fics, i'm not as big of a planner as many more prolific writers are, which also means i'm not yet sure of what themes the work will tackle. usually, i like to reach for a phrase from the fic that also acts as a summary of the story. but ultimately its a gut thing. when you know you know.

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

several, to be honest. I never really felt like my Bottom L fics got as much traction as I wanted, which is probably bc 1) the fandom leans toward bottom Light which is also partially my own doing lol and 2) most people aren't willing to put their public stamp of approval on the sort of sordid shit i write for Bottom L. i'd love to see Making a Scene get more love, and honestly, it'd be very very cool to see people rediscover and enjoy my two t4t bottom L fics i wrote on my avoidfilledwithcelluloid account. Both "Christmas Wrapping" and the "hierophilia/skirts" chapter of my kinktober 2021 collection have trans masc fucking i am super proud of. i'd like to become even better at soon.

#death note #my fic #thanks for asking!

[aftout]

Fine. it is Valentine’s day (not anymore for me actually but silence), I’ll create a NOT vaguepost. ? the Jekyllstein? u all know I managed to make it worse. read my post boy and bear witness to what my close friends have been needing to endure in DMs for an entire year now

I think the main thing I am trying to preach is that Jekyll and Victor are not opposites. If anything they complement one another, they move and work together in sync. It’s less of a “functional clash” and more of a rhythm.

Victor and Jekyll HAVE their opposites already. Utterson and Igor kept the two alive pretty much by force. Their respective friendships served as mediation; both of them were prodigies with great grades but otherwise rocky reputations socially. Igor and Utterson were almost requirements for their own safety: an immovable object to the unstoppable force. Platonic love is a powerful thing, and I think proof of that is very noticeable there. The thing about Jekyll and Victor’s romance is that, in reference to my previous statement, them keeping each other alive isn’t necessarily a rule they need to adapt to. It’s a natural progression. 

They mirror each other in multiple ways. They’re obsessive and they’re impulsive. They drown themselves in what they do and risk their lives for their craft; Victor nearly lost his reanimating Liam, and Jekyll nearly lost his during the first transformation. They are self-destructive, their intensity is scary to those around them, though not to each other. They found a sense of solidarity that had never been there before, something shiny, new, and-- shockingly enough-- comforting. All of a sudden the one thing that made them unapproachable and pushed people away was pulling someone in to form something far more intimate.

They were both outcast by family, which is interestingly enough where their stories start to diverge. Victor willingly left, Jekyll was thrown out. Victor spent years running whereas Jekyll spent years unable to move. When their paths do finally cross, they exchange these things and turn it into a balance. Victor found a home in Jekyll, and Jekyll found the world in Victor. A comfort to finally settle down paired with the comfort to finally leave that suffocating bubble of security.

There’s also their shared uncanniness. Neither of them are really supposed to be there. In the context of Hyde, he’s a forced mutation; something manmade that bends the laws of nature using preexisting ones. Victor should be dead. His own theories had to be used in favour of continuing his existence, he was jolted back into the waking world after his time was supposed to be out. They both take up a space that isn’t intended to be theirs. They both, in a way, played God.

Illness also plays a big part in it, I think. They’re imperfect in many ways, broken shards of human beings being held together with glue that doesn’t tend to stick right. Victor is chronically ill. He’ll fall into severe fevers at random and be bedridden for weeks at a time before getting back up again and carrying on as if nothing had happened. Jekyll is bipolar. He’ll lose himself in unexpected manic episodes and cope by drinking until he’s blacked out. They care for each other, eye for an eye and leg for a leg. They’ve seen each other at their lowest and it only beckons the other in. They take those poorly glued pieces and offer an extra weight of support. They find those weak spots and tend to them with the upmost care. The more that’s surfaced, the more there is to love. There’s beauty found in the rubble, and they collect that beauty the way a magpie collects anything that shines.

They drive me fucking nuts. What they have is so raw. It’s so disgustingly touching. It’s so vulnerable and fresh and unconventional and charming. It’s so sweet that it’s rotten. They’d kill for each other and die for each other. They’re joint at the hip. This isn’t just a silly jekyllstein “what if” joke anymore, they indirectly saved each other and it makes me sick to my stomach. I hope they explode.

#Juliette's draft #curious case #hi.

[pyotrkochetkov]

ofc my notifications are on for you this blog literally keeps me alive!! i’ve been thinking about this scenario a lot, and it gets really spicy, but y’all need to let me know if you’re interested in this.

˗ˋˏ

Andrei didn't know what was going on with him. He couldn't understand what had changed. He had been in Raleigh for a while now, and he loved it but it still got lonely sometimes. He loved his job, teammates, and fans, but at the end of the day, he always went to sleep by himself. He had tried to fill that void with a million girls, with being the last person at the rink, with the cheering from the crowds, but it just didn't do the trick. That's why when he met you, he realized you were the closest person to him that reminded him of family. You lived so differently from him - went to school and worked on your internship, had a close knit group of friends, cooked and grounded yourself in your free time while he spent most of his trying to forget how quiet his apartment was. He really cherished you; of course he had thought about you in that way, but he didn't want to ruin the bond you shared - whenever he felt the impulse, he could just match with a girl and have her over in 30 minutes to make him forget about you, momentarily at least. It all started when Rod announced - "We are thinking about organizing a family and friends roadie. We do mentors and moms every year, and we thought you guys could use an extra fun trip at this point in the season. If everyone is okay with that and has someone to bring, a friend or family member to introduce to your teammates, let us know and we'll do it". The locker room filled with cheer and enthusiasm, and Andrei couldn't help but awkwardly smile - another reminder that he couldn't bring his brother, his best friend; all of his friends in Russia wouldn't make it, no matter how quick he booked a flight. He was absolutely fucked.

The next morning, while on the bus on the way to the next game, his teammates noticed something was off. “I just..ugh. I don’t have many friends here to bring. I don’t know what I will do.”. Martinook and Jarvy looked at each other, making the realization. Yes, the kid had been here for years now, but he was incredibly devoted to his craft and spent most if not all of his time with them or on the ice: they were his family. That’s until Pyotr, eavesdropping, popped up from the seats behind them. “You have friend. Y/N.” Everyone looked at each other, confused as to who this girl was, one they had never heard of. Andrei’s eyebrows dropped, face blushing, and he turned his gaze back to the window. “Who is.. um.. Y/N, Svechy?” the boys asked, trying their best to hide the smirks on their faces. Pyotr tried his best to explain, “Best friend. Always together.”. Andrei snapped back at Pyotr in Russian, and the two started an intelligible conversation for a couple of minutes, while his teammates curiously observed. It all ended with Pyotr, rolling his eyes and looking at the rest of the team, now all gathered around the little group. Andrei felt the pressure, just couldn’t even attempt to explain the asinine idea Koochie was bringing up to his teammates, one that made the pit in his stomach grow bigger and bigger. “You bring Y/N. Perfect for trip.” If any of the boys wanted to say anything, the conversation ended with Rod, a couple of rows forward and eyes focused on his newspaper, announcing “Bring the girl, kid. It’s only a week and now we all want to meet her. End of story.” 

Shit.

ˎˊ˗

should I keep it going? should I post this on a side blog? I have a lot more to this and it gets so dirty lol. lmk. ily n I hope you have a great day.

-thirsty andrei anon ଘ✩(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ੈ✩‧₊˚

oh my god YES, KEEP GOING PLEASE I LOVE THIS CONCEPT

you’re always free to send in any of your thots here (❤️) but if this is longer it might just be easier to put it all in a blog post. i’m not sure how much you have planned but now i NEED to know 😈

#pyotr already blowing him up 😭 #thirsty andrei anon #ask

[marinagail]

"#who can compare with berlin season 1 and 2" friend you are so right you are so correct for this. like s3+ andres is like ... more relatable i guess or human or whatever but he's not as deeply fucked up and fascinating? like internalized homophobia truly is such a 2004 character trait skcjjsjsfh. dont get me wrong i enjoy him regardless but i dont have the impulse to study him like i do in s1-2, like he truly is such an interesting disaster in a completely different way than "pitiable, empathizable man who denies himself love" (which is poignant, but not as compelling as "what the fuck is wrong with this person is he even human what the fuck")

Glad I found my mutual on this matter. I don't know whether it is an unpopular opinion to like Andres more in s1 and 2 because everyone seems to like Berlin more in season 3-5. it's not wrong to like Berlin on those seasons. I like him too on some level. But NOTHING compare to the feeling you get while watching Season 1&2 Berlin. Do I hate him? Do I tolerate him? Do I agree with him? Do I disagree with him? Should I feel bad for him? Or did he deserve that punishment? Whats with him and the fishes he keep staring at? Lol. That questions and debate you had on your mind regarding this character and the decisions He's making.

When you say he's such an interesting disaster I agree. There's so many layers and shades.

Berlin season 1 and 2 is such a character study, what could be more vexing and vainglorious than berlin s1 and 2?

From the way I study him, he is known to be insufferable spiteful, with the expertise in creating a horror vibe in every situations along with his irritating smirk.

He made it easy for people to hate him with his cleverness in knacking the sweet, pitiful, guilt tripping, intimidating interaction, while throwing dry jokes that anybody who listen to will have to forced to laugh because they can't stand hearing him talking.

He's the type of Leader who possessed an abusive, greedy, and manipulative attitude, crafted with self indulgent, liberal, and suave persona.

He's also a sadist who possessed a phobia of stereotyped, hence he appeared noble, eminent and salient. (Remember the scene where he asked everybody to hold hands together to pray?) Lol the funny thing is that Nairobi and the other teams hold hands together getting ready to pray along.

It also explain alot about how he cares so much about his persona, and his reputation. He had to look perfect.

And Its even more shocking how Professor would put a dying man, a man like Berlin, in charge of the biggest heist He's been planning for years. And the punishment he gave to Berlin is so severe and damaging. That's cruel and heartless but at the same time the trust between those two is wonderful which you can see it throughout the season 1 and 2. I have to say the relationship and the dynamic between Professor and Berlin in s1&2 is very mature, dark and deep and satisfying to watch. That's the vibe i'm getting at while watching them.

His affection and love for Sergio is on another dimension. He's so soft and so careful when it comes to Sergio, even when he conversed with him. Their relationship, you can't help but feel it's a bit weird. Especially in season 1 and 2. He didn't treat Sergio the way he treated his other teammates, even from the start. He treated him with respect, affection, adoration, admiration, carefulness, almost as if he was surrendered to him body and soul. I don't know if I'm exaggerating here, but that's what I felt when I watch them in S1&2 even when I found out that they somehow related.

But there's also an underlaying sadness and pain and mystery. He's such a sad story but we can't mourn for him, or pity him. Like what did Andres do in the past? why was he alone when he was sick and only had 3 months more to live? And the fact that he just got out of the jail? That kind of tragic story. (Season 5 ruined the authenticity of the mystery behind the story of why and how he got arrested, instead we got Berlin arrested for vandalism?? Seriously?? The cringe story of his son stealing his wife lol, don't get me started)

Damn, so many layers to unfold. So many shades to be seen. where you can explore more about his characteristic. S1 & 2 Berlin gave us the vibe of horror, tragedy, mystery, pain and pleasure, malicious, and tenderness.

And yet, all we get from S3-5 is Andres being dolly, getting married, stabbing a guy with a fork, and worse, the unwanted by the whole audience of the appearance of his son. Out of nowhere. Worst when he did robbery with his son and his wife lol. Who the hell he think he is? Romeo and Juliet? Bonnie and Clyde? Season 1 Berlin would never do that. Instead he'd lie to his women about the blood on his sleeves and the bruised on his lips and never got them involved in any business matter. I think he'd murder them or manipulate them like he did to Adriadna.

And it seems to me he made more enemies than friends, he never listened to any advice, and when he did make friends, they're all so fake. How do I know this? Or think that this is what's happening?

I think if you see it from season 3+ it shows on his affection towards Martin which he called "best friend/soulmate". Perhaps the only thing I like about season 3+ Andres is his personal relationship with Martin and Sergio. How come people like sergio and Martin are the only two that can tolerate him somehow lol. What kind of forbearance, endurance, and tolerance that these two have? Lol. Even when there are some parts that I don't like too but without that plot he's not that interesting.

Martin is that one true friend that cared for him, you wouldn't call someone soulmate if that's not what's happening. Since I think all his friends which he talked about in season 1&2 (I think it was the scene when he seek out Denver for confrontation, while he was talking to Nairobi about how his friends will watch the horrible news about him on tv) didn't really care about him.

I think they all secretly hate him and want to see him go down, that's somehow tragic and pathetic at the same time, very fitting for Berlin's characteristic, leading him to his downfall. Wish they explore about it more, instead what we see is that all of them are sitting down comfortably, loving him, admiring him, with andres walking around looking pitiful wearing his silk robe. (Idk, every scene of him in season 5 is just very off)

Season 3+ story is also not completed, like the reason why Andres chose Sergio. His incapability to give love back to his best friend, I think the reason because he always ruin everything he touches, he didn't want to ruin that one too. And don't get me started on Sergio and Raquel on season 3+. It's just.. Very no no for me. I'm sorry serquel.

And don't forget, his relationship with Sergio. I almost laugh, lol.. Because every season seems like it tales different story about these two.

It never explained clearly and well how the two met. Or how they ended up together. And strange that Andres never said to anybody, or never had a talk to anybody regarding his brotherhood with Sergio. Only calling him Hermanito. I don't think Andres ever mentioned about it, not even to his own son. It's unclear whether they're brothers for real, or Andres was adopted. In s5 Andres mentioned that they ever lived in the same house together when Sergio saw his father died. And that's it. No more explanation besides that.

Sorry this rant too long. I just had so much in mind and so many things to talk about regarding this matter. Glad you asked friend!🙏🏻 I hope it's not too confusing 🤭

#la casa de papel #lcdp #andres de fonollosa #lcdp berlin #Sergio marquina #martin berrote #lcdp ask #sorry it got too long #but I had to say it #I have an expectation for Berlin spinoff #but from the trailer itself #idk #I wish they would go with much darker berlin in the past #because his character CAN be interesting #professor #Berlin #berlin spin off #character study

[starlightaxolotl]

I posted 5,955 times in 2022

That's 3,077 more posts than 2021!

371 posts created (6%)

5,584 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cloudyy-skyys

@fabro-de-omres

@emberprince

@todorokitops

@fanficmemes

I tagged 1,007 of my posts in 2022

#writing process - 31 posts

#starlight streams - 20 posts

#ask game - 19 posts

#fnaf - 14 posts

#fnaf security breach - 12 posts

#michael afton - 12 posts

#ninjago - 11 posts

#writing - 9 posts

#fnaf sb - 9 posts

#spoilers - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i could outline it with a very neat little ending or i can leave it open for additional content but that’s for later 2022 me to figure out

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

AU where every season of ninjago after 10 is the same except Kai is just a cardboard cut out

13 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#4

Write paragraphs, you'll know when it's time to change them the same way you know when to stop adding seasoning to your food. Listen to your heart, find what fits your story's flow the best.

13 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#3

I’m always thinking abt this image

15 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

Things I don’t see the security breach fans talk about probably because I don’t know if you can notice this without cheats but the fact that when Moon is crawling after you in the play structures their legs are backwards. Their upper torso is turned around and they are crawling on their hands normally but their legs are crab walking them around.

17 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

💘🔁😊!!

a grave mistake??? do tell!!!!!! >:)

You know exactly what cursed mistake almost happened. >:( Tumblr is trying to see me fail.

💘:A fic you couldn’t stop reading once you started

Encore! This fic reached through my screen, gripped my shirt and forced me to keep reading and the only break I took was to sob for 30 minutes over exactly 14 words. I didn't want to go to bed that night and literally read it until my eyes burned and everything was blurry. I should reread this fic and comment on every chapter, just to see what I notice on a second read through.

🔁: A fic you’ve re-read several times

First one that comes to mind is Meet Again, it is just so easy to get lost inside this fic and it always hits the emotional spot. And the writing is amazing. I think about the fact that I read it, looked at the word count and said out loud "what the fuck that felt so short" when it is, in fact, not short at all. It was so well crafted and never dragged at all.

😊: A fic that made you smile on a bad day

Okay there are so many I can think of to put in this spot.

Laughing At Tragedy is such a good one oh my god. I probably shouldn't smile reading this fic because holy hell is it not a fluffy fic at all but its the way that the soft moments are interspersed in the plot that makes it such a comfort fic. This fic is my literary chicken and rice soup on a cold winters day. @inkspottie has crafted such a good fic and I literally could go on for hours about this fic. I am emotionally attached to their Michael.

My Darling Little Prince is another fic. Quite literally came out on a day I needed some comfort and it has been so nice to read. I don't read a lot of RWBY fanfics but this one has a very special place in my bookmarks now.

Last one I swear but Sunspot! was an impulse read and I'm so glad I read it. I think it's just really sweet and fun.

39 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #cackling at the fact my post to torment Sky made it into this.

[thatsmistertoyou]

yknow I was thinking about it just a few weeks ago and I thought hey maybe Dan has moved on from being Online™️, at least for the foreseeable future. I thought well, I hope he’s good and satisfied with that and knows that there’s still an audience that respects and supports him if and when he chooses to come back, even if we’re all old af now. I really wouldn’t have ever guessed at the Big Reason lmao the AUDACITY of yt!!

(I’m kinda curious to see if yt responds to this in some way. Probably not but watching them get dragged to filth WAS fun ngl)

Anyway. More personal rambles under the cut

I really appreciated his comments about parasocial relationships. We really can’t help it in this day and age - public figures affect us, even if they are ‘public’ in the broadest sense of the word. It is not lost on me that most if not all of you that are still here are reading this bc you read my fic about this real closeted man and his secret lover lmao. If I never had to see any more commentary on rpf it’d be too damn soon. It’s all been said I think we’ve had enough. You’re not going to virtue signal people out of it my guys this is the internet I really don’t know what to tell you

But anyway. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it. I never claimed it was speculative. After a while I stopped doing that on here altogether. They just genuinely inspired me. What can I say. I found their dynamic and story compelling. What if I told it in my own way, what if I put this spin on it, what if I could make something fun and sweet that other people would enjoy, what if I made something dramatic and heartbreaking. They helped me discover something I had only dabbled in, an intense passion for the craft of writing that I have only recently picked back up bc I found new muses. (If you like Breath of the Wild, hmu lol)

This community was my lifeline in a very hard time in my life. It helped me make a lot of the friends I have today, some of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It demonstrably changed my life. I didn’t ask for it, but I needed it.

And so I really related to what Dan said about yt. The conflict of wondering if it is a net good when it put people in uncomfortable positions sometimes. Obviously it’s not a direct parallel, I’m not comparing like, petty fandom drama to the trauma of people analyzing your every move while you’re closeted and afraid. I’m glad Dan has been able to come to terms with it, at least a little lol. I think we’d all like to think we had no part in it - I never sent Dan an ask on his margarita blog asking if he was gay or dm’ed him my fic on twitter or submitted drawings of him and his bff fucking when he asked for art. But where’s the line? When does it stop being fun and harmless?

I appreciated his comments about that as well. I myself have loved to cite the fact that Dan really did say ‘knock yourselves out’ when it comes to fan works, asked for submissions of them at several points, and straight up wrote his own and put it in a nyt bestselling book that would forever immortalize him. And also performed it on stage, if in a cheeky and self-aware way. (Yes Phil did most of these things too, but we’re talking about the other one rn. And tbh, Dan always seemed like the one to seek permission from, right? Idk how to explain it but I feel like y’all know what I mean when I say that.)

I recently had my first ever impulse to get rid of my fics - not delete them, but maybe orphan them on ao3 so they wouldn’t be 100% tied to me. Or maybe take them down but keep an archive of pdfs linked here or something - something that would at least partially distance me from The Evils Of RPF. Lbr, I worked too damn hard to destroy my legacy completely. I’ve gotten so many wonderful messages over the years saying that my stories have had real impacts on real people. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen.

But Dan and Phil are real people too! Dan has talked about how traumatizing it was to have people clock him as gay before he was ready! It’s invasive! It’s weird! It ruined one direction! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Can y’all tell the posts I’m talking about. Have you seen them too.

The one really caught my attention - something like ‘amazing how all those 13 year olds knew Dan and Phil were gay like immediately, they tried to deny it and it didn’t work’. Shit like that puts me on the defensive like immediately, but, admittedly, it was funny. I was like. First of all I was 18 the first time I even saw one of their videos, get your facts straight, not all of us were that young. And second, I was immediately like Self Recognition Through The Other.

Yes it was also maybe invasive curiosity and speculation, maybe attraction to them, maybe genuine enjoyment of their content, maybe the digital landscape at the time in which watching real people do real shit was novel and no one knew the implications until it all started to blow up, etc etc. but like. I didn’t know I was queer at ALL at the time. And a few years in the community later I had more friends than I’d ever had, thriving hobbies, and am now openly bisexual. I can’t say any of that would have happened without this super weird and scary thing.

So, all of that to say, I understand at least some of what Dan was talking about.

Also I’m not deleting my fics, dw. If my boss finds them that’s her fault.

(Not saying I would have absolutely shit myself if Dan had, in fact, launched a project about an alternate unhappy version of his life on his 30th birthday, but it’s a strong possibility.)

[writtenbyevie]

ik it's kinda late... but... can i send you some elemental asks? 🥺

if yes, pls answer me water 💦, rock 🪨, spirit 👻, and fire ❤️‍🔥

if no, then pls take this heart and enjoy your day 💝

it's never too late for asks ✨!!

I'd like to think we are all lying on the floor of a blanket fort together in a sugar comas just talking aimlessly 💖 time does not exist in the metaphorical slumber party

but anywho, the elemental asks 💫

water: how long have you been writing?

I've been writing since I was a little kid (mostly original work until this past year)! Part of my love for it I think comes from my dad. He's a quadriplegic, so we bonded a lot through words. We'd make up songs together, watch movies, and read books a lot. He'd also always tell me the most elaborate, zany, bedtime stories (often half asleep) that we still reference to this day. Combine that with my very, very overactive imagination, obsession with reading, and general curiosity and you get a nine year old writing short stories with a glitter pen on the swing set during recess.

rock: how do you deal with writer's block?

It depends on the type of block. If I lack interest in writing, I've found listening to music or reading something similar to the piece I'm working, while sat at my desk helps. (I primarily try to write there versus my bed. It makes it easier for me to switch my brain into sport mode 🧠🖊️) Walks are also really nice. Get out of the shame loop that I'm not being productive, which only makes things worse. I've found giving myself the opportunity to create without forcing myself is what tends to help me the most.

Now, if I want to write, but my brain says nahhh, I'll do some of the aforementioned stuff, but my main trick is to brain dump. I just put random words on the page related to what I'm trying to say and piece them together into sentences. Literally just words. They don’t even have to be coherent yet. I do it until I can slowly put together the puzzle of my own thoughts.

In the end I think my best advice for writer's block comes from theatre teacher I had who once told me when I was stuck on a scene, "to just write it badly."

Write it badly. At least you wrote. No one can craft empty space into anything, but you can work a surprisingly amount of magic on a pile of shit.

spirit: what's the best compliment you've ever received on your writing?

my beloved isa asked me this earlier!! (tldr: when people think I could be published, or have a strong emotional reaction to my work ✨)

fire: what's a scene you're dying to write?

oh man SO many for star-stitched, which is the sakuatsu fic I'm currently developing.

I know I probably shouldn't do this, but here's a dialogue exchange between Kiyoomi and Atsumu that was part of the inspiration for the star-stitched. I wrote this MONTHS AGO on my phone. I cannot WAIT to write the full scene surrounding this exchange. I'm not providing any context cuz spoilers, but all you need to know is Atsumu has been hurt emotionally and some out of character soup on Kiyoomi's end is involved.

Atsumu: will ya just stop with this bein' nice shit?

Kiyoomi: (slamming a kitchen cabinet) For fucksake, I am not being nice. I am incapable of nice. I've been called many things in my life, ranging from mildly complimentary to completely condemning of my character. But nice? Nice has never been one of them. Now honest? That I have always been. First and foremost, I am called honest. At the end of day, sometimes that is all I have. All I can call my own. I am honest. And you do not get to take that away from me because the truth is incongruent with your baseless self-loathing. Fuck you! I am not nice. I am honest. Your crocs give you cankles; your cologne is too strong; you've never known the meaning of an indoor voice. You are crass and loud and incorrigible and impulsive and beautiful and kind and funny and brilliant and unequivocally and irrefutably deserving of love. I am not fucking nice. I am unabashedly honest and undeniably right. And I will stand here and scream at you, until you believe me.

Atsumu: That may take a while. And you aren't known for your patience.

Kiyoomi: But I am renowned for my resilience. I will not relent. I will not give up. I will not abandon you. I will win. You are worthy of love at a minimum, Miya Atsumu, and there will never be a maximum. Now eat your fucking soup.

ANYWHO!!

like usual, I ended up rambling. thank you so much for the ask cat. I am sprinkling love on your head like its pixie dust ✨💖

#asks #featuring a sneak peak of some sakuatsu content at the end!! #writing asks #writers block #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing #sakuatsu #ao3 #hq ao3 #evie’s jeevies

[freeuselandonorris]

https://www.tumblr.com/freeuselandonorris/748039869693050880/httpswwwtumblrcomfreeuselandonorris748005292

omg ok. my brain is a vault of stardew info ive been playing since release basically.. u get copper ore from the mines, found frequently on floors 1-40. once you find your first ore, the blacksmith will bring you blueprints to make a furnace to smelt it into bars so you can use them for crafting, building, upgrading tools etc. the mines are located near robin’s house and linus’s tent, if you just follow the path to the left of their homes!

haley sucks at first (tbh half do imo) but if u gift her things she likes and keep talking to her, she warms up pretty fast! all of them have liked, disliked, loved, hated, and neutral gifts and will give shitty reactions to disliked and hated gifts ):

i played the fuck out of cyberpunk !! i loved the story behind it, smth ab having a flashdrive stuck into my brain and then some hologram dude talking to me just does it for me. i love johnny sm. what boss are u coming up on?

omg anon ur an ANGEL. honestly my one criticism of stardew valley is that it just kinda…dumps you in it and doesn’t really give you any kind of tutorial lmao?? i’ve figured out a fair amount of stuff through trial and error and followed the journal quests but holy shit it would have taken me forever to figure out that u have to go to the mines to do mining. which like. now it’s written down OBVIOUSLY that’s where you go to do mining but sadly my brain doesn’t work like that lmao.

side note: i went and tried fishing after ur earlier post and oh my GOD it’s annoying. 0/10. took me about four goes just to time the fuckin hit right to get the mini game loaded. horrendous.

CYBERPUNK MY BELOVED!! i have had such an insane trajectory w this game lmao. i was SO excited when it first got trailed because it’s so obviously inspired by neuromancer (i mean frankly the plot is very nearly ripped off neuromancer entirely at times) and blade runner and cyberpunk as a genre is a longstanding intense obsession of mine. and then i got the 1.0 PS4 release when they were practically giving it away for free bc it was such a mess and i barely got halfway through Act 1 bc it was buggy as hell.

THEN like…years? later i got made redundant from work (if you’re non-UK, i think the USeng equivalent is laid off?), impulse bought a PS5 (thanks, adhd impulse spending!) and downloaded 2.0 and promptly got fucking obsessed.

cut for mild spoilers

like. i have never been emotionally invested in a game like this. i’ve never wanted to live inside a game like this! night city feels so so real, and i fuckin love playing as V (i’m playing boy V which is a v good gender experience). there’s some elements of the gameplay i find frustrating and the levels/perks system drives me slightly insane but the storyline, voice acting and the whole design of night city is mind blowing to me.

i have also never ever wanted to fuck a fictional character as much as i do johnny silverhand lmao. GOD. my screenshots folder is full of pictures of him with that cyborg arm on show 🥵 i’m kinda desperate to finish it so i can check out the fic bc i need johnny/V porn but i don’t wanna spoiler any of the endings for myself lmao.

ANYWAY so the boss fight i have coming up is at the end of play it safe, after the parade…i’m just about to start taking out the 3 snipers but i’ve seen on reddit etc that the boss fight at the end of this is hideous, esp if you’re not really highly levelled on body attributes which like…i think i’m on about 11 for body so not super low but i’ve been focused on tech ability (after tbf taking a pretty scattergun approach at first and regretting it). if the boss fight at the end of i walk the line is anything to go by i’m fucked — i gave up on sasquatch in the end and just ran into the cinema lmao, i literally tried about 20 times to get her 😭 my hand eye coordination is NOT good enough for this!!

i have phantom liberty waiting for me after i’m done w the main pack i can’t waittttt

#maybe i need a gaming tag? #gaming tag #answered

[unearthlydream]

im sad and can't focus on work so instead time to scream into the fucking void so it at least looks like i'm trying to write this story thats due at the end of the day.

i keep finding myself thinking "i wish things were normal" and wishing i could go back to pre-Oct 31 and how things were before all of these things happened. but i don't think there is a noraml to get back to and i think that this is just what my life is now. and idk how to cope with that tbh lol ijust wanna jump off a building

i want to be able to see my friends and talk to people and work on craft projects but instead all i do is sit at home in silence after work dissociating into a game or a tv show because i don't have the energy. i can't lie and mask my way through life anymore and i feel uncomfortable w the fact that i can't have a conversation with anyone without them inevitably asking how i am or what i've been up to. how can i even engage with people when i have nothing positive to share and most of the convos just end up with "i'm so sorry, let me know if you need anything"??

my mom has been on and off dying (thankfully off for good now i think? long recovery process) since december. i've cared for my grandpa from oct 31-dec only for him to now be on palliative care. my family is being so normal and cool about it and i'm the youngest one and being forced to deal with all of their issues because my aunt and uncle can't be not self centered for once in their lives-- and obv my mom is dying and my grandma is grieving and helping w my mom so like who else is gonna take care of things and manage people's emotions and be a shoulder to cry on?

so i'm actually doing horribly and don't have the capacity to make up lies anymore. and what have i been up to? spending tons of time in hospitals and then getting various illnesses because people can't seem to mask up in a fucking hospital of all places!!! i don't have the energy to lie anymore bc i'm funneling everything i have into just waking up in the morning and doing thebare minimum to make sure i do'nt die and my household is clean enough that it's not a danger to my cat.

and even when my friends and partnersask like 'how can i support you' -- idfk put a bullet in my brain??? like no one can do anything to help me. i'm alone andhave always been alone and will always be alone and forced to be the mommy in every situation and i'm so tired. i just don't want tot hink. but then when i say 'it stresses me out that you're waiting on me to make the plans for groceries or doing laundry and i just need you to get it done,' i hurt peoples feelings and i'm being too rough.

i'm just so tired. i'm so fucking tired and i wish my brain didn't go from zero to "just kill yourself" so quickly. i wish i knew what i needed and how tomake it better. i feel like my stupid ass needs to be committed. i'm worried about self harming again as i already relapsed late last year amidst all of this. i'm worried one day i'll be so lcose to the end of my rope that i'll act on one of my impulsive thoughts and make things worse for myself.

i don't wanna worry anymore but i think that's just what's in the cards for me. which is like... doubly scary bc of the genetic lottery i've already won (mom had a stroke in her 40s and now is dealing with all of this which like.... most of it is caused by stress and not taking care of herslef and i'm falling down that same rabbit hole without my consent which is so cool and funky fresh).

and the worst part... i don't even think things would be easier if i died. the guilt of knowing what i'm leaving behind won't even let it in the realm of possibility.

this is so long. i might delete this later. but like holy fuck. a bitch needs a fuckin break. a bitch needs a resource officer or somethnig like hold fuck.

#personal