#which is not autism great

[timmisny]

i miss my mom

#and ive got a new roommate now which is. well it is #shes really nice #a bit germophobic and a lil extra but shes nice enough #but she throws off my routine a lot #which is not autism great #like she said she wants to cook dinner for me once a week which is like please god fucking no #i have a list of safe foods and i guarantee the stuff shes cooking is not on the list #shes like a chef #but im a vessel that lives only on carrots and ranch with the occasional chicken nugget #also i like to not talk to people ever #unless its someone close to me #speaking of which i had to say goodbye to jimmy today #weird. that was this morning. feels like days ago #i miss him so much too #if i had a mom she could guide me. give me too many snacks. you know #mom stuff #i wish jimmy moved in with me . we understand each other and theres no judgement #things are so chill with him. i can be myself around him. he cares so much for me #for a while there it felt like we were drifting apart but i guess thats just because were living life on the phone. #well move in together one day. we will #and itll be fantastic #for now my social battery will have to run on empty for at least a year

[enhanced-operatives-division]

I can't wait for their reunion

(Robutler doodles under the cut)

These all have definitely been done before but I couldn't get them out my head

#sorry for no art post yesterday I hate double posting #but great news guys i had my autism assessment today (we all know the results) #(look at this blog) #alas reggie and prism are so funny to me. it makes me violent I have so many thoughts #sedate me or something idk #i digress prism i love you (i have drawn her every day since i designed her and I say that every time) #but it's true i DO LOVE HER #i finished ieytd 3 for myself yesterday and i would wave every time I'd see her #which is an improvement from ieytd 2 where whenever i saw juniper i called him a faggot #i love him i promise #anyways something something i found a great tragic science wives song and. i need someone to give me an excuse to talk about it or - #- i shall wilt like a pretty flower #ANYWAYS #ieytd #i expect you to die #[agent moose's art] #reginald crane #the handler #roxanna prism #roxana prism #robutler

[existencebringsonlypain]

not to self-diagnose but have you guys heard of alexithymia?

#i just thought that was a thing some people have trouble with. not like i was an outlier or anything #i sort emotions into “happy” “normal depressed” and “actively feeling bad” #i can usually figure out the happy emotions. the bad ones usually come from bring overwhelmed #but normal depressed? no fuckin clue how to describe that #yea so i am constantly in a state of not doing that great. for no discernible reason. and it never goes away fully and for long #i'm about as okay as i usually am. which is not very #but how do i describe that? ????? look man i dont know what it is either #i mean. it literally means “no words for emotions” and yep thats exactly it #hey guys. shocker. i exhibit a trait the majority of people with another trait i have exhibit #autism #existenceunrelateds

[bogkeep]

just watched this nearly 5 hour long video tour of anime backgrounds. i feel cleansed and inspired to practice drawing backgrounds. will i? surely Someday ,

#one for the Long Video lovers out there #no discourse. only appreciating art for hours #slightly related but i have added slimes to my Autism Repertoire. which was great for vibing with this video #my table right now is like: fidgets. slimes. jigsaw puzzles. emergency snacks #autism creature den #we have Textures here #anyway i find it a little strange that makoto shinkais movies weren't mentioned as much in the video as i expected #but we All Know his movies have absolutely banger backgrounds. so.

[neproxrezi]

trying to make generator VE-20B functional let alone useful is going to be the death of me

#okay so like. let me autism about this piece of my mech. gimme a moment. #there is a generator for the mech that gives you like absolute maximum Energy Firearm Spec #what this means is that it makes your energy based guns (sadly not melee) do great damage and charge up faster #however. it has pretty poor energy capacity #and you need good en capacity to USE energy weapons #because every weapon and piece of the mech. uses energy. #i'm desperately trying to make it usable with the KRSV (to my knowledge the most over the top insanely powerful energy weapon) #but what this is leading to #is a goddamn WILD GOOSE CHASE all over my mech desperately trying to optimise it within an inch of its life #all for this one thing #that i DON'T EVEN THINK WILL BE WORTH IT #compared to running like quad laser shotguns #but i've aaaalmost got it working #my big issue. my white whale. is i want FOUR energy weapons #which i thiiiink i can do... the other ones will suck but i THINK i can do it #dibi #armored core

[doodlboy]

Hey question 4 autistic/adhd/ppl who didn't socialize much as a child, do y'all have ppl say shit like "can't you talk about anything besides yourself?"/"you're really selfish/self centered" to you??

#the last couple times I've been trying 2 talk 2 mom she keeps saying shit like that and its bugging me #bc 2 me im just having a conversation abt my day or whatever #or im saying smthn i wanted to tell her b4 i forget which occasionally interrupts her #and she keeps saying it like im being this narcissistic person or smthn. as if me talking abt the MH dolls i saw @ work last week is like- #idk man. like im boasting abt how great i am. also she asked when i was gonna grow up after i talked abt the dolls so. #anyway #ive noticed that idk how 2 rlly hold conversations with other ppl so i just- default to talking abt somethin i did or whatever #when idk how 2 respond 2 smthn. is that rlly me being self centered? #i just- all i had 2 talk 2 for the last like- 8 or 9 years was myself and now i have 2 socialize again & i feel like im being rude #or only talking abt myself bc i have no experience with talking 2 other ppl #idk #anyway lmk #autism #adhd #elliot rambles

[space-opera-slays]

Currently so glad i have the English school system purely for alevel physics because things are so cool

#im learning #LIKE BRO IM LEARNING #MAKING CONNECTIONS TO SHIT #AND BEING LIKE OHHHH THATS WHAT THAT OVERUSED SCIENCEY WORD FROM MEDIA ACTUALLY IS #ALSO LOVE ENGLISH SCHOOL SYSTEM BC ALEVELS GO DEEPER INTO A SUBJECT AS YOU ONLY DO A COUPLE COMPARED TO OTHER SCHOOL SYSTEMS #WHICH IS GREAT FOR THE AUTISM PHYSICS BRAIN #physics #alevel physics #a levels #a level physics #a level revision #stem #stemblr #studyblr #study inspo #women in stem #autism #autistic #actually autistic

[beansprean]

sometimes you get diagnosed with ADHD as an adult which finally makes your mom actually listen to what ADHD actually is and that she didn't cure it by making me do 100 jumping jacks as a kid when I got too hyper and then she realizes that she may have it too

And then you both realize that like 70% of the family probably also has adhd and that's why we are all Like That

#adhd #not art #like???? my moms side of the family were always weird to everyone but us #so informal and go with the flow and peppy but cycle through hobbies like toilet paper #never any drama bc we forget that we got mad and just get over it and were generally nice to people #we never learned to set boundaries with other people bc we all had invisible understood nd boundaries #and just didnt ask each other weird questions #like turns out we r just a super nd family???? but it makes sense??? #my 2 cousins were diagnosed as kids but they were the only ones that was when adhd was starting to be understood as a childhood disability #but you only got diagnosed if u were getting bad grades etc so me and my sister got overlooked and everyone else was too old #but DEF my granny has combined like me and my mom has hyperactive type and probably my uncle as well #and my great aunt bipolar i wouldnt be surprised if she had comorbidities her daughter idk tho #great grandparents hard to say but i wouldn't be surprised and time will tell with cousins kids #would not be surprised to see some autism in there im sure my sis on the spectrum and i may be too but with adhd its hard to differentiate #anyway this is a v personal post but its kinda crazy to look back and be like huh #thats why the fam dynamic is so different from everyone elses #we dont talk to each other for years but relationships dont deteriorate in our heads so nbd #now my dads side....my dad does have a lot of adhd symptoms as well as his dad #plus Alzheimers runs thru there which has a slight predilection for adhd anyway #why would a bunch of intelligent chatty anxious and kind people choose to live in the middle of nowhere and have silly hobbies #why neurodivergency my friend #ANYWAY the culture shock of moving away from that as a child and my parents remarrying neurotypicals who didnt understand the dynamics #dunno if it was the southern thing or the nt thing but turns out the normal way i always interacted with my parents #was seen by others as deeply disrepectful mean teenager nonsense that should be culled #shout out to the nd kids with nd parents who just spoke to each other like adults and played with each other like kids #this is TOO MANY TAGS thats how u know the vyvanse kicked in #personal

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

the reason i’m not afraid of aging is because i want to be a hot middle-aged man who has a toxic yaoi relationship with another middle-aged man

#u know i used to be so afraid of aging until i realized that i want to be a dilf. now it’s kinda exciting #i realized recently that i could never picture myself living past my twenties until i pictured myself as a man #but like. i want to be a man and a woman and nothing and everything #but like. i’m cool with how i look now for the most part idk if i would want to transition physically at least not rn #and rn i still dress fem enough that everyone goes straight to she/her #and i like she/her but it hurts rn #bc some of my family has switched to they/them or it/its and it’s just so soothing #but family that knows i don’t like it still use she/her and phrases like ‘daughter’ or whatever even more often on purpose #and it hurts bc i don’t really feel the need to change the way i dress/look but i know everyone assumes she/her #when they see me in a dress or skirt. even w how very not-cis my fashion sense is #but also i fucking hate pants which is a separate thing (prob autism tbh) and even if i wore pants they’d still use she/her #thinking of changing my name to something very masc so i can confuse people enough that they’ll stop defaulting to she/her #and i haven’t told ppl outside my immediate family so idc if they use she/her but i’m fucking pissed when ppl in the family do it #anyways side note when i was 12 my ideal gender (b4 i knew about being non-cis) was a floating consciousness w no body #or a plastic-doll-like creation that’s smooth all over #… i still want to be a floating consciousness actually lmao. it would be great #back then i hated being a girl but i didn’t know there were more options and also i was socially isolated (didn’t leave home for like 2yrs) #and my mother was openly transphobic whenever the topic was brought up so that was my only real experience #but i didn’t really internalize it other than the fact that my mother would be rude if i ever happened to be not-cis and guess what? she is #anyways it’s like 2am and also i’m only awake bc i was captivated by a sugar daddy middle aged gay fic for a show i watched like 5 episodes #for 2 years ago #sorry for rambling in the middle of the night lol #gn y’all

[monsieurenjlolras]

Autistic people who work in an office setting (or really anywhere): what are some accommodations that help you? I'm trying to figure out what I can request

#im already allowed to wear headphones which is great #live from the musain #actually autistic #autism

[ffelii]

Clicking on the "actually obsessive" tag and seeing "yanderecore" shit instead of OCD awareness or whatever else I would've expected kinda sucked lol

#there's a few ocd posts in there #but mostly just people romanticizing stalking and abuse which is. so great #← sarcasm #kinda wish people talked about ocd as much as they talk about autism #I get rlly happy when I see other people who have it because its so so hard for me to put my experiences into words most of the time #especially because I don't have very many physical compulsions #my disorder is almost invisible yet it effects my day to day life so much #I'd love to see people put some of my experiences into words for me the way they can w autism #its nice to know other people understand what i go through #feli thoughts #ocd #actually obsessive

[asteria-argo]

Good news: todays day at work is making me want to die way less than my last shift.

#they printed a physical list of tasks that I can now follow instead of wandering aimlessly or bothering my managers #which is great for my autism #and everything was easy to find in the back for once #which is also great for my autism #and a nice lady said my hair is pretty

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#not having a great time today after my mom commented on my interests #i'm a person that is interested in shit i don't know this is why i'm very likely to follow disabled youtubers #in my time i have watched molly burke. multiplicityandme and a collection of autistic youtubers (guess why lol) #and my mom made a quite patronizing comment about how i ''take on causes'' by learning about stuff #and/or supporting fun and interesting youtube channels #but anyways it sucks even more because on her comment she made it clear (once again) that she doesn't believe me when i say #i might be autistic. and it fucking sucks! #because when i first talked to her about it even I didn't know much about it. i was just starting to do my research #and i was trying to make sense of things still but she dismissed it #but now that i do know more and things do make more sense #i can't even bring it up because the fact that i have been watching a lot of youtubers talk about autism will make her think #i'm just trying to be like them... which is stupid #but it's also the reason i didn't tell her that my best friend in my teens was trans. because i was trying to figure shit out myself #and telling her he was trans and then a bit later that i am as well was going to make her go ''everyone's trans now blah blah'' #and dismiss that as well... but now i'm trapped in the same thing about autism lol #and her stupid loophole of a dismissal isn't just by saying ''no you're not autistic'' it's saying this like ''well MAAAAYBE you COULD be #but that doesn't mean anything and it doesn't matter and why would you want a diagnosis if it's not gonna change anything'' #same thing as her whole ''sure you're a man but why do you have to look and act differently? YOU know who YOU are #who cares what others think?'' in a don't transition way #like that's so stupid! #dkfjhkdfhkdfg #i'm angry and i feel trapped #i have figured out a little bit ago that i don't stim near as enough as i need to BECAUSE i live in the same house as her #and the idea of ear defenders and other stuff like that is very appealing but i can't do that while she's around to judge #and IN PUBLIC?! that's unthinkable!! #i still remember the time she threatened with not going out with me (to the supermarket) because I commited the huge crime of #buttoning the top button of my button up shirt.... #that's it. that was the whole reason.. she thought i looked ridiculous and she didn't want to be seen with me... #imagine if i wear ear defenders out... #not gonna risk it lol

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

.

#ah fuck #I’m getting excited about writing again #so I’m posting about it more #but I feel like I’m posting TOO much and annoying everyone #my bad to everyone for the constant posting #just feel embarrassed by my excitement like I get in real life #which is just great #autism stuff I suppose

[a-concert-just-for-me]

/negative

This county office I’m shadowing at for the week is fucking awful I feel like a freak every second and I keep getting made fun of and infantilized and can’t wait to go back to my home office where there’s at least one other ND person Jesus fucking Christ

#/negative #why are people so fucking mean #and WEIRD about wanting me to share personal info and if I don’t I’m a prude #I’m not a fucking child #I’m going insane I’m actually going to have a meltdown sooner or later if they keep doing this #which would further the “’I’m a child’ agenda #great!!! great!!! I love autism it’s soooo cool I love it soooooo much /s #I can’t escape from here I’m stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck with these mean girls #sorry for being negative I just need to scream into the void #I will delete this later

[wanderingmind867]

I feel sick, which is great. I don't know if it's the weather fluctuation or something, but I feel like I have a sore throat and last night I had a popping ear. Also, I have lots of phlegm. But that's a common thing for me. But anyway, I really hope I'm not sick. That'd be just what I need, honestly.

#sick #head cold #sickness #I hope I'm not sick #but I could be #which would be great #just great #autism #asd #neurodivergent #adhd #autistic #actually autistic #audhd #illness