#where it used to be viewed as hesitance to romance and dating now it has another huge freaking layer of trauma

[dropthedemiurge]

Rewatching "Love for Love's Sake" can't hurt you

Rewatching "Love for Love's Sake":

Episode 4 vs Episode 8

#get recontextualized idiots #and then they ended on - oh i get it why you like the sea i like it too now - and myungha staring at yeowoon #i wonder if there is a hidden agreement of -liking the sea- or is it myungha not being able to share his pain again #ANYWAY Taevin acted his heart out #where it used to be viewed as hesitance to romance and dating now it has another huge freaking layer of trauma #tw suicide #tw death #love for love's sake #korean drama #korean bl #bl series

[arimiaromage]

Strange house - DGM doujin fangame guide book scans

so in January I found a physical copy of a 2010 d.gray-man doujin visual novel called Strange house by the doujin group MOONLIGHT CAFE. the game is a romance visual novel where you play as Lavi and can date Kanda while out on a mission with him to, you guessed it, a strange house.

the game is completely in Japanese and almost all mention of it online has gone away as it's a 14 year old game, so suffice to say finding anything about this game has been difficult. it won't be a complete mystery now though as I have the game and the guide book!

so... let's look inside this guide book!

before we crack it open, here's the scans of the DVD cover slip. the outside is similar to the guide book (see above) but the inside is an adorable collection of chibis.

now let's look at the guide book! all of these scans are at a high dpi so open them up in a new tab if you'd like to see them up close. also, most of this is in Japanese and I won't be able to translate a majority of it. if you'd like to translate it, please feel free to and add it to the post!

D.Gray-man LaviYu Only

Windows only sound novel type adventure game

(side note- visual novels are usually called adventure games in Japan. sound novel is another term for them that was more popular to use years ago)

The next two pages go over the system menus- the main menu, the CG gallery (where you can view cut scene artwork), in game menu, save & load, and the options menus.

Now that we've gone over the system, it's on to the character bios! Lavi is up first as he's the player character followed by Kanda and the finder Doma.

(somehow Kanda ends up in a bridal gown in this game)

(she has doll arms and legs? it says she's the other guy's sister)

(I have no clue what her name is suppose to be. Yuno Moreta? Yunoo Moreeta?? I'm guessing it's trying to be like Yu Kanda??? Allen's bio here mentions him being the 14th and that he doesn't appear much as he wasn't assigned to this mission)

(Lenalee's basically says that she's an exorcist and Komui's younger sister, but mentions that she might be seen on the mission in front of Lavi? the guy on the right was apparently meant to be something like a love rival in the MVP [think beta build] for the game)

after the character bios is the route guides!

while not every visual novel has choices or multiple endings, visual novels that do have multiple endings refer to them as "routes" or "scenarios", i.e. the series of choices you make to reach each ending. this game has 4 routes, each with a different artist.

scenario A is called Dolly and written by 響夜 and illustrated by Guriko.

scenario B is called Coming Home and written by 響夜 and illustrated by Seiko and others.

scenario C is.... something about a bracelet? it's written by 秋吉 and illustrated by Bonnu.

scenario D is called lonely travels / loneliness while traveling and is written by 木花 and illustrated by ネコ科ノコ.

to be honest this is a lot more than I was expecting! we're already at 7 team members and haven't touched the programming or music aspects. I also have no clue how long this game is - there's only a few choices listed here to get each route so each ending could be 5k words (short) or over 50k words (long).

now onto staff!

sadly, I won't be able to translate these as it's a majority kanji, but here they are.

and that's it! there's a lot of cute art here that I hope will be saved on the internet now that the sites for MOONLIGHT CAFE's games are mostly defunct.

personally as a visual novel developer I find it amazing that they were able to not only make such a good looking fan visual novel in 2010 with multiple endings but to get so many people on board and make it all work out. and then to make a physical release of it! (side note- I'm still unsure what engine this was made in! I'm thinking kirikiri but I'm not sure)

I have the game set up and am able to play it, so at some point I'll share some footage of it on this tag on my blog. I'm hesitant to put the exe online as this was a paid game at one point and the doujin circle seems to be disbanded, but I might if there's interest (is this considered a no-no for doujins? I'm unfamiliar on etiquette for doujins, so some advice on that would be appreciated if you have any)

#dgm #dgrayman #d gray man #lavi bookman #kanda yu #yu kanda #yuu kanda #laviyuu #lavi #kanda yuu #dgm fangames #dgm fangame #fangames #fangame #moonlight cafe #I'll be honest. I'm neutral to laviyuu but I find this project so cool that I'm dedicated to getting all the endings

[peachiemilkytea]

ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ʙᴏʏ

pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

Summary: Henry has been talking to your dad about his co-boss a lot lately, enough to invite him over for dinner knowing that he is your boss too. Now you have to deal with a dumb teenage boy you don't like.

Paring: Teen!Michael Afton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of Y/n, third and first person pov, your parents embarrassing you, flirting?? romance??? enemies to friends

W/c: 5K

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

Flipping the pages in between my fingers of a romance story. Seventeenth Summer by Maureen Daly. It was in my top ten favorites, my first favorite was IT by Stephen King. The one I'm reading now is about two teenagers, Angie Morrow, and Jack Duluth, being a couple and going out together in June for the first time. Their dates would be them getting cokes with friends, riding in Jack's car, going to movies, and taking the boat out. They grew closer than they could ever be together. It gave it a whole new point of view on the world. Rose-tinted glasses.

"Dottie! Come down here!"

Uh oh, am I in trouble? I put my book down on my bedside and walked downstairs. Mom was leaning on the kitchen counter talking to my dad who was smoking a cigarette. My mother hates the smell of cigarettes. Her nose scrunched at the intoxicating smell. I took a seat at the table.

"Whatever happened, Daniel did it!" I accused my little brother without hesitance. Holding my hands together, my shoulders become tense. Dad snickered out smoke holding onto the sink, biting his lip to hold back a big smile. Mom rolled her eyes at the smoke he let out.

"You're not in trouble (Y/n), we're having the Aftons over for dinner." Mom explained, breathy chuckling.

"Henry and I had lunch with him the other day, he's something else. I had to use everything to stop myself from making fun of his accent. Anyway, his family will be here by six twenty so get ready." Dad explained twiddling the cigarette in between his fingers.

"Alright, whew, you scared me! I thought I was gonna be in trouble! Where's Daniel? Does he know?" I asked, looking around.

"Yes, he knows, he walked in on us talking about it. The Aftons have a boy your age. We'll leave Daniel to suffer with the little ones." Mom said getting off of the counter. I let out a "Yes!" pumping my arm up and running upstairs.

Now that I think about it, William never really talks about his family. He'll bring up his daughter Elizabeth but that's really about it. I had to find out that Michael was Will's kid myself, he never talked about him and whenever I try to bring him up Will shuts it down. He's a jerk to me, I swear it's like he hates me! One time when I was working he spilled soda all over my head with a sarcastic 'whoops.' Poor Henry had to give me a towel and wash it out of my hair and face.

While with Henry he'll talk about his kids all the time, I would hear all the stories about Sammy and Charlie. All the cute things they did and all the tantrums. Henry would have a picture of his wife in his pocket, Nancy Emily, they've been high school sweethearts. She's a sweet woman who got me into Seventeenth Summer. I usually hang out in her garden with her taking care of the plants or sunbathing. I cleaned up my room, picked up the clothes on the floor, and fixed my plants, stacking my books into the shelf, tidying up my desk. I think I looked okay. It was presentable enough. Daniel was standing at my door.

"Come on, hurry up! They're at our door." Daniel said repeatedly knocking on my doorway. I rubbed his hair walking past the kid. Downstairs there was William with a gingered-haired woman, his daughter Elizabeth, a smaller boy holding a golden Fredbear plushie, and... Michael? Ohhh that would make sense now, that's why he looks like William. I didn't pay attention when Mom was talking about us. He perked up surprised but then waved at me with a smile.

"This is Daniel and (Y/n), my kids," Mom said putting her hands on her hip. That stance always gave off 'I'm a tired mom.'

"Kids, this is the Aftons. William, Clara, Elizabeth, Evan, and Michael." Mom introduced us, pointing to each one of them.

"Hey boss," I said, looking towards William. He smirked at my remark. I looked over to my dad and saw the gears in his head turning, Mom gave out a silent 'oh.' Clara looked between me and William.

"But you work for Henry?" Dad asked more like a question.

"William is Henry's co-boss, I work for both of them," I said putting my hand on my hip, then going back to the family and flashing them a smile before going up to my room.

I heard Dad and mom talking to William and Clara talking more about work and what's for dinner, telling Daniel to take the little ones. Then They were talking about boring adult stuff, the only thing I found interesting that they were talking about is all the butterflies Clara's been finding and keeping. Maybe the book my dad was reading, The Color Purple. A book about a teenage African American, Cecilie. Raised in rural isolation in Georgia. She resists the self-paralyzing concept forced on her by others. He's the one who introduced the book to me, it was hard to read because of the writing. But that's the fun of it. Like I did with The Great Gatsby, I took notes on it and broke down the language to understand it then burned the chapters into my head of what happened in a modern way.

Grabbing one of my types of vinyl, I always liked the vinyls more than the cassettes, mixtapes, and walkmans. They played it so much better than the others. Putting on Highway To Hell by AC/DC, it was one of my all-time favorites. Nodding to the beat and mouthing the lyrics.

"Good pick! I didn't expect a good girl like you to be into rock." Michael said, leaning against my doorway with a smug look. I looked back at him and rolled my eyes. I took my vinyls out of the packages and wrote what songs they were on the middle-colored part before putting them on my green flowered walls. Michael was staring at my pictures on my bulletin board.

"Did you take these?" He asked, pointing towards them.

"Yeah, I did. It's still-life photography. What? You like them?" I spat out walking to his side. He was looking at a picture with a book that had cursive letters on the pages, a jar of flowers and the other side is a jar of ink, an old pen sitting next to it, and circled glasses on the other side. Maps and drawings of herbs under the book.

"It's not my style but I like it. It's like something really old and adventurous. Like those old guys you see in the history books." Michael read the photo perfectly. He captured it in his way but still expressed what I was trying to get. I was surprised he was being so nice right now.

"I think this one might be more of your style," I said pointing to a different picture above the one he was looking at.

A bluish-whitish tinted photo, concrete stairs with yellow lines at the end going down. The white walls were covered in graffiti, paint, posters, photos, and drawings. There were marker drawings on the walls and messy paint splattered onto the railings. Graffiti symbols and phrases are marked onto the floor. Some vinyl and cassettes were glued to the wall. Boy bands and magazine covers on the wall with famous faces and logos. The pen drawings on the side made planets and black stars. Drawings made by people saying "runaway" or lists of things or missing pet beetles people found off of the street. A large rectangular mirror on the left side reflects the turn to further downstairs on the right.

Michael's brows raised and his mouth fell slightly. His hand tucked a strand of his hair back behind his ear then covered his mouth with his hand. He blinked a couple of times through his eyelashes. I chuckled and picked it off of the bulletin board and flipped it over on my desk, writing 'To Michael' and handing it to him. He furrowed his brows and stepped back pulling his hand away from his mouth.

"Take it if you like it so much. I know you don't like me very much and I'm okay with that. I'm still your friend." I said being left hanging and still holding the photo.

"I hate you. I hate your '70s haircut. I hate how your teeth are yellow. I hate how your loud laugh echoes in a room. I hate the way you read knockoff comic books. I hate how you smile so big when you lie. I hate you. But I don't, I tried. Something about you is keeping me around. I want to be your friend." Michael admitted. That was a turn of events... He took the picture out of my hands and pressed his lips together. Holding it with two hands he stared at it. I chuckled, and a smile tugged my lips.

"So the soda thing-" I said pointing to the floor lazily. He quickly looked up bug-eyed.

"Ahhh!! Ahh!! We don't talk about that!" Michael yelled jumping on my bed. He got off of his stomach and laid on his back looking at her picture. I sighed going back to my bulletin board of pictures. I put up some new ones I took a few days ago. From the corner of my eye, I saw him put the picture on the bedside desk, and he picked up the book from my desk.

"What is this? It's so cheesy? The guy on the cover looks like me!" Michael asked, reading through the pages.

"It's what girls feel when they're in love, you wouldn't know." I joked. Hearing him scoff.

"Girls fall in love with me. Women get with me." Michael protested moving on his side to look at me with a cocky look, his tongue on the corner of his lips while biting down on it with his teeth. I let out a long 'sure.' He went back to reading. Genuinely Michael seemed invested in the story. Maybe I should show him Sixteen Candles one time. He might like that more because it's a movie. God, I love Molly Ringwald, she's such a great actor and in so many films I love. I have an undying love for her! She reminds me so much of Cheryl. Soon the vinyl stopped playing, so I grabbed another record. Metallica, Ride The Lightning. Putting it in and turning up the volume. Michael's head lifted quickly.

"No way! Metallica! Wait wait I know this one. Ride The Lighting, right?" Michael fanboyed over the vinyl. I nodded lazily. Grabbing a few covers I handed them to him. Dr Feelgood Mötley Crüe, Sweet Child O' Mine Guns N' Roses, Detroit Rock City KISS, Cherry Bomb the Runaways, Bad Reputation Joan Jett, Pet Sematary Ramones, and so many others. Rolling Stones, Judas Priest, you name it. Michael looked like a kid in a candy store flipping through the record covers. He was stuttering his words.

"Oh my god." Michael managed to get out of his excited stutters. Holding up one of them records.

"You can pick the next song." I gave a small smile sitting at the end of my bed. I lie on my stomach further it and swing my feet back and forth. Bopping my head to the beat of the metal music. I felt my imagination running wild, anything with music made me daydream. It was like scenes in a movie or a cartoon show. Michael was mimicking the strings of a guitar that the song was playing.

"Is this all you do?" Michael asked, looking up at the ceiling. His hand was up pointing and tracing the cracks.

"Yeah. I mean sometimes I'll go out if it's with my best friend or if it's because of work. My room beats going outside any day." I said, swinging my feet back and forth while leaning my cheek on my pointer finger. I like to be introverted, my mother always called me a homebody who needs to get out more. The most I would do is hang out with my dad on the porch at dawn talking about our days while he was smoking a cigarette.

"You have a friend that isn't Henry? That's hard to believe." Michael playfully insulted. I grabbed one of my pillows and smacked him with it. He yelled and put his hands up laughing.

"Yes, I do! Jeez. How do you even know I'm friends with Henry? Will doesn't like to talk a lot." I asked sitting up and hugging the same pillow I assaulted him with.

"I know Henry too, you know! You're not the only one. Father will bring me and my brother and sister to work sometimes and that's how I know Henry. He talks about you too much. It's like you're some star student. It's always (Y/n) this and (Y/n) that and oh did you know what (Y/n) did? All the time, it's so annoying!" Michael groaned into the pillow.

"Boo hoo, oh poor you." I mocked sticking my tongue out. Michael lifted his head from the pillow and spotted something. Should I be worried? He looks so curious. He grabbed a book on the floor next to my bed that read 'The 48 laws of Power' which was about Niccolo Machiavelli's philosophy.

"Where did you get something like this?" Michael asked, skipping through the pages.

"It's a philosophy book, about the philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli. He lived in Florence during the Renaissance period. But then a prince came to the city and kicked anyone he didn't like out. Machiavelli was one of them. He would think while he was homeless. He would put on his fanciest clothes and talk about philosophy. Machiavelli has the theory that to get power you need to be feared to be loved. He wrote a letter to the prince on why he should come back to Florence. The prince read the letter and let him back into the city. He gave Machiavelli his spot. To have power you need to cheat, manipulate, and have confidence. It's used in politics and elections." I explained talking through my hands, never leaving his eyes.

Funny story, when I was out for a walk one day I found a kid in a tree reading it and I asked him how he knew that book. We had the best talk about being manipulative. It takes a true philosopher to understand and with that, you need to change your mindset. Philosophy is the love of wisdom, or in Greek Philosophia. It's pursuing your lover, pursuing Sophia. I love doing philosophy but I don't have anyone to do it with.

"This is deep," Michael said he was gapping like a fish. I could tell it wasn't really his thing and it's probably something you look at and forget the next day. I only nodded with a small smile.

My door creaked, I expected it to be one of the kids or my dad telling me to come downstairs for dinner. Cujo came running and jumped on Michael. He grunted putting the book on the nightstand on top of Seventeenth Summer. Cujo jumped on top of him and soaked his face in dog slobber, drool coming down and hitting Michael's cheek. He pushed the dog off of him and wiped the grossness off of his face. Gagging and scowling. I let out a fit of laughter.

"Good boy! Good boy Cujo." I patted his head.

"You named him after the murder dog?!" Michael shrieked scouting up on my pillows trying to get Cujo out of his lap.

"Yeah." I held Cujo's chin up to me and kissed his forehead.

"He almost killed me!" Michael complained, crossing his arms and glaring at me.

"Stop being a baby. Cujo's a sweetheart, he would never hurt anybody unless I tell him to, Isn't that right?" I coo'ed to my puppy. He barked in response. I swear it's like he understands me. We don't deserve dogs, they are too good for us.

"Never thought I would hear that..." Michael mumbled and slowly came off of my pillows. He hesitantly held his hand out to the dog, taking it back quickly when Cujo turned around to sniff his palm. Michael tried again shaking but moved his hand away too quickly again. Cujo barked at him. I grabbed his wrist and held it up to Cujo, finally, he smelt his palm and declared Michael his friend. He put his head into the boy's hand making him pet him. Michael loosened up and pet Cujo's head. A genuine smile tugged at his lips. Scaredy cat.

"KIDS ATTACK!" Uh oh- Elizabeth jumped on her brother and tackled Michael on the bed, hitting him. Telling his face it hurt. Evan was timidly hiding behind Daniel.

"What? Evan! You're supposed to be beating up your brother and my sister!" Daniel said, lifting his arm and looking behind him. Evan was shaking behind him, shutting his eyes so hard you could see the wrinkles on the side. I got up from my spot while Elizabeth and Michael were beating each other up. I went up to the two boys and squatted down to the little one's height. He opened his eyes slowly. They were glossy, you could see every sparkle in the blue. His cheeks were a rosy red. A golden bear was in his arms, looking like Fredbear. William must've given it to him.

"Hey little buddy, it's okay. You don't gotta be me up. Daniel was just joking. Uh... Do you want a hug or something?" I asked, holding out my arms. Evan calmed down a little bit. He left Daniel's side and came up to me laying against me. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back softly. Evan's crying calmed down and only had little sniffles and shaky gasps of air.

"I like your plushie, what's his name?" I asked, trying to relax him.

"Goldie," Evan mumbled lying on my chest. I stroked his hair.

"That's a nice name," I said softly, looking down at him. Something about this kid melts my heart. He's so delicate, fragile. If he was a box being shipped overseas he would have the fragile label on him.

"Wh-What's your name?" he stuttered looking up at me.

"I'm (Y/n), Daniel's sister. You're daddy's friend. What's your name?" I asked, sitting down on my knees.

"I'm Evan, sometimes my sister calls me Ev," he explained. Isn't that sweet? It's his sister's nickname. Daniel looked confused, glaring at us. I shot him a glare. He stuck out his tongue and pulled down his eyelid.

"IZZY! Get the hell off of me!" Michael yelled fighting his sister. I forgot that was happening. To be fair, Elizabeth was winning the fight. She was laughing at him and sitting on his stomach punching him, Michael's hands covered his face. As much as I'm enjoying seeing Michael getting his ass whooped by his little sister it can't go on forever.

"Alright! How about we play hide and seek?" I asked standing up. It caught Elizabeth perked up, she stopped fighting Michael and looked at me with a bright grin. That kid is a little devil but at least she's cute with her bow. She got off of Michael jumping off my bed and running towards me.

"Hide and seek! Hide and seek! Hide and seek!" Elizabeth chanted jumping up and down. Evan on the other hand shook his head no.

"Come on Evan, pleaseee! Pleaseeee! I'll beat up Michael if he scares you! Daniel's sister will make sure he won't scare you!" Elizabeth begged and pointed to me.

"It's true, I won't let him scare you, I'll even make a pinky promise." I held up my pinky. Evan's foot moved in circles and his body turned to the side, his head down looking up at me with doe eyes. Seriously, this kid is adorable. If Michael does anything I'll have Cujo eat him.

"Okay..." Evan held up his pinky. Interlocking it with mines. We pinky promised to stop Michael from scaring Evan. Speaking of the boy, his hair was disheveled and he was leaning on his elbow lifting himself. He held the back of his head, rubbing it while one of his eyes closed. My covers were a mess! My pillows were everywhere! Elizabeth probably used one to hit him. Kids...

"Daniel's it! Run kids! Count!" I yelled pointing to my brother and running away with the kids. Michael hurried soon after.

I don't know where the other two are, but I ended up with Evan. His small hand was trying to hold mine despite it being bigger. I pointed to Daniel's room under his bed. Evan and I hid under there. He was freaking out a bit. Looking around and shaking. I played with his hair and drew soft slow circles on top of his head. He looked like he could fall asleep. I heard Michael screaming like a girl. Daniel must have found him. What a wuss! There were footsteps and sounds of them arguing. They're like Dumb And Dumber. Elizabeth was found, she was whining and complaining about being found. They were looking for Evan and I. Their footsteps were so sloppy. I snickered a little too loudly, Michael was right about my laugh. How did he even pay attention to it?

"Wait..." I heard Daniel's moment of realization. He beelined for his room. It was weirdly suspenseful. Evan didn't like it at all. Seeing his socks roam the room he looked for us cautiously. Suddenly, fingers grabbed the bottom of the blankets and lifted them. Daniel was squatting there with the smugest look on his face.

"Found ya." He said slyly.

"You little buttmuncher." I jokingly insulted. He dramatically grabbed his heart and gasped offendedly. Evan sighed and crawled out from under the bed. I grabbed Daniel's ankles and pulled him to me. He shrieked and yelled at me. Hitting my hand. We got out from under the bed in a laughing fit.

We spent an hour laughing and scaring each other. Besides Evan, I was always paired with the little boy and he seemed a lot less scared when I was around. Daniel even ran downstairs and hid behind the couch till Elizabeth found him by getting a hint from William. She's a daddy's girl.

Michael was it, for the first time. He refused to do it for all the other times. He only agreed to do it if I did it with him. Pulling me away from Evan. I mean I hope the kid will be okay. Mike is kinda a dickhead. The kids ran off and hid, while we counted. Though he stopped counting.

"Why did you stop?" I asked. He stood there arms crossed with a smirk and one of his brows raised.

"They won't notice," Michael said, leaning up a little.

"Ookaay?" I said confused leaning against the wall. There was an awkward silence like Michael wanted to say something but didn't know how to phrase it. I can tell because I can see the cogs turning in his head.

"Whatever, let's go look for the little dweebs." Michael walked off.

"Hey! I'm the only one who can call Daniel a dweeb!" I ran after him.

We looked around the house. The bathroom, in the shower, the hallway closet, under my bed, under Daniel's bed. These kids were too good. It's like they disappeared. Michael and I went into my room. He put his finger to his lips and tiptoed to the closet. He paused for a moment. I shook my head no quickly, pressing my lips together. What if Evan was in there? Grabbing his shoulder and tugging it. He pushed me off. Michael slammed open the closet and put his arms up with a yell. Turns out... Evan was in there. And now he was having a sobfest thanks to Michael. I pushed past him and squatted down in front of the little boy who was clinging onto his Fredbear stuffie for dear life.

"Hey hey honey, it's okay. Come here. Oh man, I'm so sorry I broke our pinky promise." I said hugging him. Evan clung to me. I picked him up grunting at the sudden weight. He sobbed into my shirt. I glared at Michael, annoyed. For once he looks guilty. I kind of felt bad. Dropping my glare with a neutral smile. I rubbed Evan's back.

"Go find the others, Mike I'm sure dinner is almost ready." I nodded my head towards the door. He just nodded and walked off. Evan slowly calmed down still with leftover tears in the corner of his eyes.

"Do you want to go downstairs and hang out with the parents?" I asked him. He slowly nodded, not moving from my neck. I exited my cozy room and walked downstairs. The adults saw me with a crying Evan in my arms and eyed me confused and worried.

"Oh uh, hide and seek is a little too scary for him," I explained. Mrs. Afton showed understanding like this has happened before or the normal but mixed with guilt for her baby. William looked a little phased by it, his smile fading but going back to talking with my mother.

"Oh uhm here Mrs Afton." I tried handing Evan to his mother but he clung to me like a koala bear. It surprised the Aftons and my parents.

"That's very new, well I suppose he likes you a lot. That means a lot to a little child. And please call me Clara. No need to be so formal!" Mrs-... er Clara said. I nodded and took a seat at the table motioning her to sit next to me.

"I'm (Y/n), I'm sorry this is just so new to me. I wish I had heard about you more. You seem nice." I tried to make conversation. As you can tell it's going poorly.

"Awh, you're sweet. William isn't one to talk about personal stuff that much. Why I didn't even know that you two were coworkers! You work with Henry too?" Clara asked with a heartwarming smile.

"Yeah I do, Henry is my best friend. He's really how I got the job in the first place. I'm the head engineer. The bosses are the ones who are in charge of the whole engineering stuff. I'm just here if they need a little extra help or repairs." I explained she seemed to listen to every word. Her eyes softened too. Something about her makes me so comfortable like I can forget every problem I have. Dammit, William's lucky.

"I uhm.. I like your hair, my friend Cheryl Jo, her hair is red like yours too. Except hers is a little shorter." I said awkwardly, I think Evan is asleep or something. He's really quiet and not moving. His breath is a little shorter.

"You flatter me. So you're an engineer for robots? That must be interesting, you don't hear about that every day. What is it like?" Clara asked me.

"Are you going to let me geek out to you about robots? Because if you get me going I won't stop." I grinned brightly.

"I'm married to William, that already says a lot. I would love to hear you geek out about robots." Clara giggled, her nose scrunched up. If Evan wasn't laying on me I would be bouncing in my seat right now. I went on to rant to her about almost everything I learned about robots and what they could do, what's in them, how they are made, and what I think I could do for the future. I was talking so fast that I almost forgot to breathe.

"Dottie, can you get the kids and tell them dinner's ready." My mom said, wiping her hands together. I nodded, giving Evan back to Clara. He woke up instantly mind you. I got up from my seat and went upstairs.

They can't be far, so I check my room first... What the fuck. Michael was on my floor half-naked with Elizabeth and Daniel trying to shove my yellow floral white sundress over his head. He was yelling at them and trying to push them off but Daniel held down his arms and Elizabeth was solving his head through the dress. Daniel moved Michael's arms through the straps. I cleared my throat and leaned against the door. All of their heads turned towards me, surprised. Michael was beet red.

"Uh... Dinners ready."

I walked downstairs and waited for them to... stop whatever that was. I sat down in my seat with no comment. I want to unsee whatever I just saw immediately. William set the table with plates and asked what drinks we wanted. It feels weird to see him act so casually with my family, it feels weird to even see him in my home. To think my family and his never knew each other all this time. It was only him and I. He's so secretive I wonder why. He never told me about Clara or his kids. It could've been like Henry and I with Elle and the twins. Well, they're an odd bunch but still a presentable family those Aftons.

Speaking of which, Michael, Elizabeth, and Daniel came downstairs. The poor boy couldn't even make eye contact with me. Daniel took his seat next to me. Michael sat across from me. Clara was on my right and in front of her was William. Across from Daniel was Elizabeth, Evan sat next to his sister, Mom sat next to Daniel, and Dad sat in front of Mom.

My parents and the Aftons were telling stories or talking about what happened the other day that seemed so crazy. Evan was trying to get Elizabeth to eat her vegetables, he even held it to her mouth. She was stubborn, crossing her arms and pouting. Daniel was listening in on the parents' conversation. felt my foot get nudged. Fucking Michael. He was looking away listening to the parents talk. I stomped on his foot. His eyes became the sizes of dinner plates, he hit his chest with his fist and coughed violently.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Clara asked, leaning over the table.

"Yeah yeah... just went down the wrong pipe." Michael sipped his water awkwardly. Mom snickered at him and shook her head.

When he looked up he made eye contact with me and gave me a death glare. I smirked picking through my food. His foot hit mine again, I hit his shin with my leg. We were battling playing footsies under the table. Staring at each other and not breaking it. Daniel nudged my shoulder. I stopped. The parents were questioning why the table was moving. Michael kicked my ankle. I nodded my head towards the parents. We both looked at them, they were looking back at us. Michael and I quickly awkwardly took sips of our water not looking up.

---------

The loud and lively became cozy and quiet. Clara walked out with a sleeping Evan in her arms. Putting him in his car seat.

"Daniel! Come down here and say goodbye!"

"Bye!"

"That's not what I meant..." (Y/n) said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She felt her shoulder get lightly punched. Michael standing there with a smile. The annoyance of her little brother wore off.

"You leaving? I mean... you are leaving why wouldn't you be because your mom and little brother are in the car and-... I'm not making this better for myself." (Y/n) said, scratching the back of her neck shyly.

"Don't worry it's cute, I'm about to head off. I'll see you soon, right?" Michael asked looking away then back at her for a moment.

"Yeah.. yeah! Anytime besides when I'm working. Then again Will's the boss so maybe you can come when I'm working? I don't know, I'm bad at goodbyes." (Y/n) stammered awkwardly.

"Cool, cool" Michael laughed awkwardly. There was this tension between them. Vivian swung her arm around her daughter.

"We'll see you again, right Michael? You are welcome here anytime. You see... (Y/n)'s a bit of a loner-" Vivian whispered the last part behind her hand.

"Mom!" (Y/n) yelled, embarrassed pushing her mother off of her.

"I'm going to be bothering you guys all the time now, you sure you want that Mrs (L/n)?" Michael teased.

"Bring it on kid! And call me Vivian. Mrs. (L/n) makes me feel old." She said,

"Okay, well uh I should go to the car now. Bye and thank you!" Michael walked off waving a bit. Goodbyes were shared. Vivian went back to the kitchen to clean. (Y/n) sighed enjoying the moment of silence. William comes around with a sleeping Elizabeth in his arms. Stopping next to (Y/n) with a smile. She looked up at him surprised.

"I'll see you at work, I would love to hear about your new redesign for Trickster. We have a lot to go over, love." William said in his sultry accent.

"I can't wait, I have so much to talk about. I may need help to work on the blueprints and measurements. I'll see you till then, Will." (Y/n) said gently patting the sleeping girl in his arms. He nodded and took his leave.

Stephen (L/n), was in the backyard lighting a cigarette while the Aftons were leaving. Something was odd to him. Something didn't feel right about William. His guy screamed an icky feeling near him. He didn't like it, but he knew it was a move of a fool to find out what was wrong with William. He needs to know when is the right time to act and how to act. A puff of smoke soared up into the dark sky.

Cujo follows (Y/n) upstairs lazily through her night routine. She grabbed the phone and dialed a number. Cujo lay on her bed huffing and puffing.

"ʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴇʀʏʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ. ʜᴇ ɪꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴀᴅ."

#michael afton x reader #michael afton x you #fnaf michael afton #fnaf

[randomartsideblog]

Thinking about that one ep in Sailor Moon Stars where Rei had taken up a part time fortune telling job and Sieya walks in not recognizing her, she gives advice, blah blah, then Usagi who she ends up revealing herself to but anyways. What if. The other 3 inners went in.

Ami walks in all nervous and shy and goes,"I'm not very good with romance, I've never been, but I think I like a girl? I mean, I just find her so wonderful and..." And Rei freezes because A) Oh my gosh it's AMI and B) Oh my gosh AMI LIKES SOMEONE? Ami prattles on about how she wants to know if it's romance/will it go somewhere and Rei catches on its about MAKOTO and because fortune tellers r pretty much counselors at this point, at least for Rei, so our underpaid girl stares into the crystal ball, trying to figure out a response, looking through memories to figure out if this is unrequited love.

"I can't tell you for sure if that's romantic feelings, or if she likes you back or not." Rei finally responds, and Ami slumps down in her seat. "BUT, I can tell you this: you seem to deeply care for your friend in a way that others may not, and it can be viewed as romantic or platonic. Its up to you if you want to pursue this potential path, if you want to try to be more than what you already are. You won't get anywhere, though, unless you do something about it." Rei smiles at Ami who is surprised, but also quite thoughtful.

"At first, I was quite hesitant to try and see a fortune teller. I believe that they're scams. But... you gave me what I know is good advice, and you've helped clear things up for me.... even if you didn't seem to use a lot of magic." Ami gives a soft smile before her fave is pulled back into a thoughtful look. "Say, you remind me of my friend, Rei. She's more of a magic person, and she'd probably tell me what you've told me. You even look like her..."

"WELL HAHA LETS GET GOING NOW I HAVE ORHER CUSTOMERS (I HOPE) TO ATTEND TO."

And Rei ushers Ami out, narrowly avoiding being revealed. A sigh, and she now has to greet ANOTHER customer who happens to be...

"Uh, hi. I was hoping you could look into my love life?"

My goodness.

Makoto.

Mako explains that she's confident she has a crush on a notably nerdy, cute, shy and blue-haired friend of hers, and asks if she'll like her back, if she ever has a chance.

Rei almost passes out on the spot.

"Well, let me confide in my crystal ball." And now Rei is thinking in her head, so Ami likes Mako, Mako likes Ami, they're oblivious to each other... it wouldn't hurt to give them a push because they'll get nowhere by themselves probably.

"This girl you speak of... I cannot garuntee you'll end up together, but if you try your hardest to make her understand you care for her... then that might lead to good things."

Mako thanks Rei and leaves without blowing Rei's cover.

Success.

Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of this, Rei thinks tiredly, maybe I'd be a GREAT fortune teller.

I'm a fortune teller, Rei thinks, not an all seeing maiden or whatever

And Minako walks in

Finally, Minako walks in and Rei's so tired and guikty; she knows her friends secrets, things they probably don't even want her to know, and Reis about to confess to Mina who she is when Minako slams her hands down on the tabke and demands: "HOW DO I WOO MY FRIEND HINO REI?"

So now Rei has to help Mina somehow, when what Mina wants to do is woo her. Okay. Yeah.

Rei's face is burning and she quickly regains her composure. "Y-you want me to advise you on how to... get a date with your friend, Rei?" She manages to choke out.

"Yes." Mina's face is flushed, but determined. "I need to know how to win her over."

Rei shakily requests a few while she stares I to the crystal ball and contemplates. Everything.

Okay. So I'll just... tell her it's not likely they'll end up togehter? Yeah, yeah that'll work! Just. Whoops, sorry, there's actually nothing I can do, give up! But... it feels wrong. It... it doesn't feel right... OH.

And Rei realizes she may have romantic feelings towards her friend.

So Rei clears her throat and tells Minako, "I th- I mean you should, you should try taking it slow. I know you want to try and get your uh... Rei quickly- but spending quality time together and slowly having her come to love you in that way seems to be the best course of action." Rei finishes, hoping that will buy herself time to sort her own feelings out.

Mina seems a bit gloomier, but quickly bounced back with determination. "Well, as long as I can have her..." the grin softens into a gentler smile. "Then I don't mind waiting a bit."

And Mina leaves and Rei requests a break and reminds herself to talk to her grandfather about signing her up for jobs.

#i think i got possessed???? #how da heck did i just write that all woah #rei hino #ami mizuno #makoto kino #minako aino #sailor moon #makoami #reinako #might draw this one day idk idk

[cheerstotheelites-if]

78 -> Felicity and Zeke 👉👈

From this thing

Lmao first date lets go

~•~•~

I would string up every light outside and let the cool breeze blow

Oh this night is getting better as we go

And late romancing at the night's end would be a kiss on my front door

Leave your telephones behind this rounds on me

We don't need any sort of technology once you see the nightlife

- Nightlife, Old Daisy

~•~•~

It's a bit of a chilly night when they've decided on this date. Felicity has her cardigan, wrapping it tighter around herself as Zeke guides her way up a hill. His hand is rough against her softer ones, though warm. The stars are out, twinkling brightly.

"Zeke, where are you even taking us?" She asks with a chuckle, a few loose strands of her braided hair flowing in the gentle breeze.

"You'll see." He replies with a smile sent over his shoulder. "You're going to love it. I promise."

Confused still, Felicity can't help but be curious.

A few more minutes of climbing up a hill, there at the top is something tall—a lighthouse overlooking a cliff. There is a lit lantern standing by the door, lighting up the area in an orange-y hue. The warmth from Felicity's hand leaves for a moment as Zeke picks up the lantern and opens the door.

"You still up for it?" Zeke looks at her with a lopsided smile. It's a bit dark in the lighthouse (bit being an understatement), and Felicity hesitates for a moment.

"Nothing's gonna come out of there and scare me, right?" She looks at Zeke, a bit wary now.

"I wouldn't lie." His smile softens to a reassuring one. "However, I won't force you if you don't want to go. We can go the park instead if you want."

Glancing back at the dark shadows of the lighthouse, then back at Zeke's reassuring smile, a bit of resolve make its into her.

"No," she shakes her head a bit, "you said you did something cool for our date, and I want to see it."

"Are you sure?"

A firm nod. "I'm sure." Then a smile. "Besides, I got you with me."

Zeke snickers. "Yeah, you're right, and we can kick ass together."

He offers his hand up to her, and graciously Felicity takes it as they both enter into the dark.

"Watch your step." Was all Zeke says as they make their way up the lighthouse, the lantern light guiding them in the dark. A hatch is opened at the top of the stairs, and Zeke crawls out first, putting the lantern down beside him to help out Felicity.

Once they're both out, Felicity's eyes were first trained onto the view of the ocean. The noise of the crashing waves hitting the cliff side, the moon reflected in the water, and stars feeling ever so closer. Hearing a click, Felicity turns her head to see lights flicker to life. Small lights attatched to a long wire that's wrapped around the railings, and there before her is Zeke, with a picnic blanket and basket laid out behind him.

In his hand is a small bouquet of colorful wildflowers.

"You did all this?" Felicity asks, astonished at everything before her.

"Well, it's not that hard." Zeke sheepishly admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "The lights stuff is, so I had to ask some help from—mmf!"

Lips met his, soft and plump, before they pull back to form a gentle smile.

"Thank you for putting so much effort into this." A hand cups Zeke's cheek, and he can't help but lean into it, his own hand cupping Felicity's.

"You're welcome, Lily."

#prompt #Felicity #Zeke

[signalwatch]

Super Watch: Superman - The Movie (1978 - theatrical cut)

Watched:  01/06/2023

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  1,000,000th

Director:  Richard Donner

Superman: The Movie (1978) is the movie I've seen most of any film, enough so that I have it pretty well memorized.  At this point, I'd hesitate to say how many times I've seen the movie, but it's dozens and dozens of times.  At least 7 in the theater.  Intentionally, I haven't watched it much the past few years.  I mean, I'm trying to watch new-to-me movies, I can replay any scene in my head any time, I know the beats and jokes, and cool elements and emotions in every scene.  But I also know the plot holes, the mistakes, the dated issues with the film, where that's-a-doll, that's-how-that-shot-was-done, etc...  I even look for where extras were at a difference walking pace in various shots.  

What's probably most notable to modern film audiences is that a movie that plays it mostly straight for an hour has a hard jump in the second half to a far wackier vision of the world it establishes, moving from sci-fi epic to American Rockwell-esque pastoral to a cosmic sci-fi fantasy.  And then...  Metropolis, with hustling big-city folk, fast talking journalists, and Otis bumbling along.  And for the next 90 minutes, the movie is a mix of romance, screwball, camp and heroism.  There's something oddly Broadway-ish about that back 90 minutes - I mean, doesn't Miss Tessmacher seem like she needs an "I Want" song?  Because Lois gets one in spoken-word.

And god help us, almost everyone is doing a bit, from Perry White to the crook in the alley to the cops in the station talking about "big red boots".  We are not done yet with superheroes needing an absurd world around them for an audience to digest them, even after we just spent an hour with tragedy and heartbreak on planetary and personal scales.  

What that first hour accomplishes, though, is reminding us that Superman himself is not an absurdity.  He's the child of unspeakable tragedy, a product of America's heartland and humanity's most sincere beliefs of fair play and decency, but he is also an orphan in search of an identity.  And with the identity resolved, when he joins humanity in the guise of Clark Kent, he's fitting in while also being the space-god with laser eyes and a knowledge of the human heart and the 28 known galaxies.  He's not just some fop in a funny suit. 

But I'd also point out - Marvel has always known they need to wink a bit where DC has struggled with the idea since Snyder took over, and even Birds of Prey with Harley at the center doesn't quite get how to make this funny.  YMMV on Gunn's take, but he may have the best notion of how to balance comedy and tragedy, realism vs absurdism (or, at least, one with internal logic).   

I don't think any of this makes Superman: The Movie a failure or less-than, but I do get how it will make the film harder for newer audiences to access the movie.  Why is everyone acting weird, like an old-timey movie?  Cinema verite this ain't.  For a movie that shouts at the audience "this ain't your 1950's Superman, this is a modern Superman" with it's opening salvo, it's terribly dated to its period of release with fashion alone, and FX 15 years before a dinosaur would amble across a screen.

And, of course, it fails the nerd test of repeated viewings.  There's clearly stuff in the film that just doesn't make sense, like Lex telling Superman "You were great in your day, Superman. But it just stands to reason, when it came time to cash in your chips, this old… diseased… maniac would be your banker."  Well... no.  Superman has never met Lex, and he just showed up.  This is the speech a legacy villain gives Superman.  Superman's day is just now happening.  What draft of the script did this come from?  

But these were things we didn't notice as much in ye olde days of only seeing movies in the theater.  And certainly echoes the assumption that between radio and TV series, 40 years of comics, and overall pop culture saturation, Superman was already a known commodity, a pre-existing IP that would automatically fill in gaps for the audience even when things make no sense (why on earth would Lex think Kryptonite would be radioactive to Superman?).  

That's comic book stuff, and I'm not shocked it's given little attention - because what director Richard Donner cares about is the human side to Superman, the one that he devotes a whole sky-dance sequence to.  I'll be honest - I'm beyond judging the film for containing this sequence, but it is... weird.  It's not 1000% necessary to move the story forward, and I've spent a couple of decades now watching older movies to figure out if Donner took inspiration from somewhere for this sequence, but nothing has ever really presented itself.  From a story-telling logic, I 100% get it.  Lois needs to experience the wonder of Superman up close, feel she can trust him, understand he'll be there to protect her if she slips...  But.  Man.  For a 2-minute bit in a long, long film, it feels like the longest two minutes to a lot of folks.

I can talk about the stuff I like about this film all day, and have.  To anyone who would listen.  For decades.  So don't think I've turned on it.  But I also have the relationship with the movie you only have with a movie you've seen so many times, you've  known the names of the two cops who pursue Otis.  But I don't think it hurts to be honest about the movie.  I may love it and I'll defend it, but if you watch a movie this many times and you don't notice the rough spots, are you really loving something?  

Anyway, it was great to revisit for the first time in a while.  Especially post Superheroes Everyday's journey through the film.    

We'll rewatch eventually and say all the nice things you've come to expect, but this is not that post.  We'll do one on John Ratzenberger's characters in Superman 1 and 2 and try to figure out if this more than one character or a set of hard-luck twins.

https://ift.tt/3rDaiKm

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/S4UpyxE

#superman #superman movies

[ficsforeren]

The Last Song Chapter 15

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader feat. Armin Arlert

Genre: Rockstar AU, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn

Series Summary: Eren Jaeger has two personas, a charismatic lead vocal who has lost himself in fame, and a boy who struggles with depression, seeking for someone to bring him back to where he was twelve years ago. Where he only knew love in the form of your name.

Chapter Summary: Eren has lost so many people in his life, and when you walk away, he feels like you're abandoning him too. Chased by the ghosts of his past, he tries to keep his head clear. Right now, he just needs to find you.

Content Warnings: explicit sex (cunnilingus, blow job, fingering, hand job, car sex, dry humping, drunk sex, public sex, unprotected sex, one night stand, choking, treating women like objects, dub-con, corruption, face-sitting, sex toys, daddy kink, praise kink, slight degradation, etc), substance abuse (use of drugs, alcohol, tobacco), severe abandonment issues, childhood trauma, anxiety attacks, depression, adultery, physical abuse towards men and women, family issues, abusive parents, crude words, dark humor, mention of sexual assault/rape, harassment, car accident and child abuse.

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart (follow her on Twitter)

Eren stands icebound on his feet, his pupils blown as he rakes his eyes over the screen of his phone. The photo of him and Mikasa Ackerman sharing her bed comes into view. Their nudity is exposed to the camera, his tanned skin marked with scratches of her long nails and the carmine shade of her lipstick.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, his heart descending to his stomach. This is the first time he’s seen it. He didn’t even realize she took pictures of him on the night they spent together. Eren would’ve never let her if he knew.

And it only gets worse.

His thumb hovers above the screen, hesitating for a moment before he musters the courage and taps his finger against it. The voice message plays.

Mikasa’s breathy, seductive voice paints no effects on him other than disgust and vexation that grows stronger and stronger with each word he hears, like a roaring flame kissed by the wind. But there’s also panic rising within him, finally realizing that this was the reason why you were so agitated. Why you were so convinced that something serious happened between them—something more than just sex. The message Mikasa left him made it sound like they were in a relationship before. Like they used to date, even in love with one another, but nothing could be further away from the truth.

I need to chase after her. Eren decides as he turns frantic, spinning on his heels to snatch his jacket and his car key from the counter. I need to explain. I need her to know that this is just a misunderstanding.

But the question is, will you listen? It’s true that he hasn’t been completely honest with you, as he thought his honesty would only worsen the situation. You’ve been jealous of her, he notices that—he already figured that out when you called him during his overseas tour and asked him about his MV for Hero/Heroine. You had a perfectly good reason to be jealous. If he was in your shoes, he would’ve been too, perhaps even reacting a lot worse than you were. He didn’t tell you about the MV, that was strike one. He told you nothing happened between him and Mikasa, that was strike two. And now… this.

To his defense, he didn’t think he was lying when he told you that nothing was going on between him and her, but that’s only a matter of perspective. In his mind, they only had sex once—a meaningless, no feelings involved sex. Eren barely had any recollections of what happened that night. He was drunk, that was for certain, more intoxicated than he ever was. Mikasa kept him company for the night, she wanted him and he was okay with it, but that was it. He did that with countless other girls before. He had always liked the attention they gave him—made him feel alive, so to speak—but they never meant anything more to him than sex objects to satisfy his needs for the night. Mikasa was just another one of those girls. To him, she was nothing.

But to you, she was the projection of your biggest fear. She was everything you wanted to be—beautiful, strong, wealthy, successful, and a bunch of other things you wished you could have. You even admired her once, Eren recalled that too. Which was why he tried to reassure you with his words, that he would never care about her, or compare yourself to her, because you’re the only one in his eyes, aren’t you? You’ve always been.

But you don’t believe that. Not anymore.

Will she even believe you? The voice inside him speaks, breaking through the labyrinth of his mind, and pushes every good thought aside until it’s the only thing that’s left standing. Imagine if she said there was nothing between her and Armin, and you found that picture of them lying together in bed. What would you do?

Truth is, he wanted to tell you back then. His mouth was itching to form the words, the urge of being honest was there. “We slept together once, but it was a mistake. If I was in my right mind that night, I wouldn’t have done it. If I could rewind the time, I would’ve erased everything.” Those were the words that he didn’t have the bravery to say. Not with the ghosts of his past chasing after him.

Eren, look at my face! If you didn’t tell your father the truth, he wouldn’t have known! This is all your fault! You did this to me!

Carla’s voice still strikes like a clap of thunder breaking through the sky before the storm comes raging in. It causes the tiny hairs on his nape to raise, to plant turmoil in his chest, like a knife being dragged slowly across his skin, slicing his tendons.

Eren was afraid. If there was one thing he learned from the incident that happened between him and his parents—how him trying to stop his mother’s affair by telling his father the truth ended up with having his family torn apart—is that some things are better left unsaid. The burning pain in the shape of his mother’s palm that she left on his cheek was the proof of that.

Telling the truth would always be the right thing to do but it doesn’t always offer the right solution. Being honest has risks, and if you leaving him was one of those risks he had to take, Eren would rather stay quiet. He wouldn’t lie but he wouldn’t lay everything out on the table either.

He thought by not telling you about her would put you at ease, as there would be no way for you to find out, supposedly. Eren had tried his best to stay away from Mikasa, continuously blocking her contact and changing his phone number again and again whenever she discovered his new one. All he had done was to not make you worry, yet somehow, just like any other things he tried to bury in his past, they always managed to come back and meddle with his present.

Just go see her, Eren tries to distinguish the anxiety he has burning inside his chest. Just try to find her and talk to her. That’s all you need to be thinking right now.

It’s not too late.

But with every step he takes and every call he makes to find out where you are, his confidence withers little by little, fading like falling petals.

***

Porco’s calloused palm is pressing against the front of Pieck’s throat, his fingers long enough to enclose its sides. He can feel her pulse beating rapidly underneath, and the way she almost chokes between soft moans. He’s fucking her fast and deep, raw and merciless. Her skin reddens in the shape of his palms and teeth. The pressure he applies on her throat doubles the thrill that courses through her veins.

This is not something he usually does with other girls, nor did he ever been this rough with his past lovers, but Pieck… Pieck is something else and Porco knows her like the back of his hand, knows what gets her going, what makes her feel like the sky is falling and the only thing that matters left is for him to give her the pleasure that she needs.

How many times have they done this—him tearing the fabric of her dress apart and smearing her lipstick with his lips? Porco has lost count, but the excitement is almost the same as the first time. When his fingertips dance across her skin, she can feel the zest of it, just as intense, just as electrifying.

Pieck is insatiable in bed; her past partners might even call her a nymphomaniac when it comes to it. Porco, who had never been in a relationship where it’s only meaningless sex involved, knew that it was going to be a bad idea to be exchanging wet kisses and dirty words filled with lust with someone like Pieck, but he couldn’t stop. He had wanted her for so long, that even just the sight of her glancing at him during office meetings managed to stop his heart from beating. He wanted her not just for her body, but if that was the only thing she was willing to offer, what power did he have to say no?

If he could have it his way, Porco would’ve treated her much gentler, like a pair of young lovers exchanging body heat before war separated them on the first crack of dawn. His kiss would never bruise, his touch would never paint colors on her skin, and there would be no words being exchanged other than sweet whispers of her name and the praises that she secretly longed to hear. Porco would have loved that. He would have loved to love her, but he knows Pieck wouldn’t let him. She never did.

Deep in his heart, Porco always wishes that their sexual intercourse would evolve into something else, something more meaningful, because to him, it was always that way. Sex isn’t just about seeking release, it’s about having a connection—at least, that’s what he thought, but he knew no matter how much he convinced her so, Pieck would never agree. But he kept doing it anyway. Whenever she felt lonely, he would knock on her door, and he would taste the sweet flavor of her tongue mixed with the tang of gin and smoke. Pieck would turn around the second she was stripped bare to nothing but the necklace dangling around her neck. She’d land on her knees, her palms pressing against her sheets. She’d then raise her hips in the air, her face planted on her pillow, muffling the moans that broke loose when Porco split her open. “Harder,” she would always say, an urgent plea with her slurring her word, and he would comply with his heart breaking. Because he knew, once he did, it wasn’t going to be his name that would slip out of her mouth.

It would be Zeke’s.

It’s so easy to give up on his feelings, and he thinks, maybe he’s halfway there. He really likes that girl from the third floor of his office building, the one that he has gone on several dates with. She’s nice. She laughs at his jokes. She blushes when she catches him smiling at her during seminars. She adores him and she’s adorable. But when he touched her, her pretty moans, though delightful to his ears, did not feel right. Her little sighs, the way she kissed—everything felt like it was missing something. She’s so different, he thought, and it drowned him in misery once he realized that everything he did was only an attempt to distract himself. Because if he really liked this girl, he shouldn’t have been comparing her to Pieck at all.

And he should’ve stopped hoping that Pieck would feel something for him, especially when they’ve been doing this for months and there’s no progress in their relationship other than being closer as friends. But every time he touches her, like this with two of his fingers inside her mouth, her tongue swirling around them, he still wishes that he’s the only person she’s doing these kinds of things with. He still wishes that all this casual sex they’re doing could evolve into something more. That she would think of him as something more than a friend she trades body fluid with.

But she never did. He thought she never did. How could he not think so? They never talked about this. About their relationship. About the possibility of becoming something more. They never had their hands intertwined even if her legs were spread apart to welcome him inside. They never exchanged praises between heavy kisses. Every time he did, she would stop and reprimand him, telling him that she hated it. That she hated being called beautiful, and Porco knew that it wasn’t the word that repelled her; it was because of him. Because he was the one who said it. Not Zeke.

He was just a replacement for Zeke Fritz, and he should act like one.

Porco wished it could be different. He still does, but not as intensely as before. A huge part of him has given up chasing after her, as it would only serve him more heartbreak to deal with in the morning after. Sometimes he wanted to stop for good. To put an end to this friends-with-benefits relationship and just be a friend who offers a shoulder to cry on as a form of comfort and nothing more.

What Porco doesn’t know is that it’s all just an act on Pieck’s part. Every rule she made, every scold she uttered when things became too intimate—those are just her weak attempts at trying to stop them both from falling in love with each other. It used to be real when they first got together, but no. Not anymore.

She knew that he liked her from the start, in a way a little boy loved his first crush. She never saw him looking at her with dirty eyes, but she knew how much he wanted her body too, just like all men did. The old Pieck loved it when she was adored by a man in such an innocent way. It boosted her self-esteem, and she found it to be entertaining to shatter a man’s heart and watch him crumble to pieces under her spell. It made her feel powerful. Porco was just another pretty face, a better lay than any men she’s ever been with. So she asked him to keep having sex with her just for fun, and she told him that she loved Zeke as a way to rile him up. She could tell he was angry whenever another man’s name escaped her mouth, could feel the way he slammed his hips a little harder, his nails sinking a little deeper. And Pieck would be elated, knowing how much control she had over him. He was just a toy, her favorite one—a marionette with his strings tangled around her fingers. She did it again and again, wanting to watch him break but he never did. His love for her was persistent.

As time went by, they became friends and Pieck realized that it would be dangerous to keep this up. She no longer wanted to break his heart, as he was already broken so many times by other people. She felt sorry for him, even catching a glimmer of herself in him. They are the same, which was why she thought it would be wiser to stop having sex with him before it got any worse.

But at the same time, she didn’t have the will to do it. She loved the attention he gave her. She loved being adored and touched by him. But things should stay the way it was if they wanted to remain friends, so she kept pretending. She didn’t want him to fall harder for her, and she didn't want to start falling for him. Because this would all lead to nothing, right? They were both too skeptical when it came to relationship, with Pieck being too afraid to welcome another man into her life and place her faith in him, while Porco… He just didn’t trust himself enough to be with another girl, afraid that he would hurt another.

Porco is the sweetest man Pieck has ever been with, and she loves him dearly as a friend, as a brother, and maybe, if she lets herself be true to her heart, as a lover too. She finds it endearing, the way he always blushes with a scowl on his face whenever someone showers him with affection. I’m allergic to it, he would always grumble, playing it as a joke, but Pieck knows the truth. Porco is just so used to being in love with his partners, but not being loved by them.

He’s an altruist, Pieck would call it, the kind who finds joy by bringing that same feeling to others. He loves to pamper his lover, trying his best to protect them and satisfy them in every way possible to the point that his affection might feel overwhelming to some people. His past partners tend to find him to be too controlling, but it was just one misunderstanding after another. Whenever he asked them, “Why are you not wearing the dress I bought you?”, all he wanted was to see them happy for the expensive gifts he gave them. But they found it to be annoying as if he was doubting them. When he called and questioned them, “Where are you? Why haven’t you come home? It’s getting late—do you know how worried I am right now?” They thought he was being possessive, but that wasn’t it. Porco just cared too much, worried about every little thing. He just didn’t want his loved ones to get hurt.

Maybe it was because he showed his affection rather aggressively—and too straightforward—that it came off too strong for some people. But he has always been like that, hasn’t he? He’s a passionate, impulsive, headstrong man who tends to let his emotions take control. It’s both his strength and his flaw, and Pieck, although she used to be scared of that too, finds it to be something charming that defines him. The longer she spent her time with him, the more she knew about him, and the harder…

I fell for you.

“Porco…” Pieck breathes out, her lips bitten raw from the frenzy kisses they shared when they tried to disentangle every fabric off their bodies a moment ago. Tonight, she’s tired of pretending. She’s been trying to deny her feelings for so long, and she can no longer keep them bottled up inside. So when Porco flips her around to her stomach, one hand holding her waist from behind and another one aligning himself against her entrance, she shakes her head in protest. Tonight, she wants to see his face. She wants to land her hand on his chest, wants to hear the rhythmic sound of his pounding heart—one that beats so vigorously with every gasp and whimper she makes. She doesn’t order him around like usual, doesn’t force him to prioritize her pleasure above everything else. Tonight, she lets him take control. And she lets herself crumble in his arms.

It’s like a dream, Porco thinks, to hear his name—his own name—escape her soft, beautiful pink lips. It’s like a shot of adrenaline that sends his cheeks to glow bright pink and his stomach twisting in delight. Like a magic spell that keeps him entranced and bedazzled, turning him into a puppet that would do anything to satisfy her desire.

Pieck doesn’t know how long he’s been waiting for her to say his name like this—like he’s the only one that she wants, the only one that she needs. One moan of his name causes his entire movement to come to a halt.

“Porco..?” Pieck’s gentle call and a tender caress of her fingers on his cheekbone draws him back to reality. “Why are you stopping?”

His heart palpitates. “You’re…” He wets his lip. “You just said my name.”

Not Zeke’s. Not anyone else’s.

Mine.

Their eyes are locked together, deciphering each other’s deepest secrets. Fear starts to creep up his skin when he thinks, What if she didn’t mean to say it?

But Pieck smiles, so graceful and sweet, a stark contrast to the cheeky, sultry grins she tends to cast at him. She doesn’t answer him with words; she conveys it with her lips pressing against his, hoping that the chaste kiss will make him understand that she’s not using him as a replacement for someone else. That she wants him just as much as he wants her. That she wants him because he’s Porco Galliard, the man whom she adores with all her heart.

When she breaks away, his flush blooms on his face. “Can you… say my name again?”

“Porco—”

The man groans, stealing her breath away with another kiss as he uses one arm to hoist her thigh, burying himself deeper inside her. A certain angle makes her whimper out, “Yes, right there,” and she looks so irresistible like this, with her eyes clouded with lust, a shimmer of his reflection painted in her glassy dark brown eyes. She’s beautiful, breathtakingly so, and it kills him to not be able to say it out loud. “Pieck,” Porco breathes out, a bead of sweat rolls down to his chin. “Pieck, I—”

But their mouths meet again and his words are swallowed and that’s okay. They don’t need to be spoken. He could convey them with his kiss and she would understand. Porco moves his hand from her throat to her wrist, curling his fingers around it as he pins it down against the bed, right beside her head. Pieck relaxes into the kiss, tangling her legs around his hips as he picks up the pace, their orgasms closing in. “Porco,” she takes his earlobe between her lips. “Porco, you feel so good inside me.”

Porco shivers, his furrow deepens. “Fuck.”

When she feels his hips begin to stutter, she twists her hand free from his hold and reaches up to grab him, her manicured fingers filling the spaces between his calloused ones. Surprised, Porco separates their mouths but he keeps their hands intertwined. The sudden intimacy acts like a hammer ramming itself against his chest, stealing another moan from his lips when she holds his hand tighter and closes her walls around him, shaking in the bliss he’s given her.

His face reddens, overwhelmed by the emotions that come washing over him like waves in the storm. He tangles his other hand around her raven locks and he holds her head still as he kisses her deep, pumping into her until he releases everything inside, her name erupting between a string of expletives.

There’s an unspoken rule between them that reminds them almost immediately to break away and mind their own business as soon as the sex ended. No sharing little kisses, no cuddles, and no taking care of each other. Pieck would always be the first one who’d jump off the bed, telling him, “Can you wait outside my room? I’m gonna take a shower and I don’t want you to see me without my makeup on.” Porco would sigh but he would do as she said.

So, when Pieck holds him by the cheek and kisses him languidly, holding him close to her until she can feel his muscles relaxing, Porco’s ears glow pink. When she whispers the words, “Don’t leave me just yet, I still want to feel you,” against his lips, his insides are melting.

This is not right, he reminds himself, even when his whole body thinks otherwise. “What are you doing?” He asks her, pulling away slightly to observe her face better. The creases on his temple are prominent but so is the crimson that paints his cheekbones.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“This isn’t what we usually do, Pieck.”

“I’m doing something new for a change.”

“There’s a reason why we don’t do this.”

Pieck’s little mischievous smile falters as her chest tightens. Is he repulsed by it? Here she is, trying to show a glimpse of how she truly feels for him and he’s watching her with cautious eyes, his thick eyebrows sewn together. “I know,” she admits, voice sounding too weak as if she has been sick for days. She disentangles her arms from his neck before she shifts her gaze to the side. “I just… I guess I’m just feeling a bit lonely today.”

His frown starts to cease, his eyes softening at her words. “What’s wrong?”

She doesn’t answer. She can’t.

Porco notices the discomfort that’s growing in her chest. “Hey,” he frames her face, rough hand turns delicate as he guides her eyes back to meet his hazel ones. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

He’s being a friend, Pieck knows, and it breaks her because she doesn’t need a friend. She wants him to comfort her like a lover would do. “Yeah. Thanks, Pokko.”

Her grin is impish, always the better actor but Porco remains unconvinced. Carefully, as if he’s still unsure if it’s wise for him to do it, the sandy blond-haired male brushes her loose strands away from her face. His gaze holds so many emotions inside, so many unspoken words and Pieck wishes she could stop the time to unravel them all. Porco tucks her strands behind her ear, and as he feels like his cheeks are bitten by fire, he leans down to lay a tender kiss on the spot between her eyebrows.

Pieck’s eyes widen shortly, her heart rate soaring. There has never been a man who treated her like this, and she never imagined that a simple forehead kiss would send so much thrill coursing through her veins. It isn’t just an innocent kiss. Porco is crossing the lines, just like she was a moment ago.

The color on their faces matches each other’s when Porco breaks away, with none of them having the bravery to lock gazes.

“What…” She clears her throat, fumbling with her words. “What was that for?”

“Shut up, I was trying to comfort you,” he grumbles in shame, shifting away from her. “Which now, I realize, is a dumb, sappy thing to do. Forget it ever happened.”

Pieck will remember it for the rest of her life.

Ah, damn it, she bites the inside of her cheeks. You’re not being fair, Pokko.

She flinches when he pulls himself out of her, his essence oozing out to coat the side of her thigh. Porco would love to clean her up and embrace her from behind as they sink together in her tub, but as she never let him do so in the past, he’s stopped himself from offering his help. Instead, he chooses to sit on the bed beside her, his back leaning against the headboard.

Pieck rolls to lay on her stomach, giggling, “Can’t believe you kissed my forehead. What are we, sixth graders?”

“Shut up.”

“I think my heart just skipped a beat for you, though.”

“Shut. Up.” After he messily ruffles her hair and covers her eyes with her bangs, Porco reaches out to grab a pack of cigarettes he left on her nightstand. He offers one to her but she shakes her head no so he sticks it between his teeth instead. “So,” Porco utters as he lights it up, a cloud of smokes filling the air as he deeply exhales. “What’s gotten into you today?”

Pieck slides her arms underneath her pillow, laying her cheek against it. “Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” Porco snorts, tapping the ashes off his cigarette on the edge of his ashtray. “We never did missionary before.”

She shrugs. “I just felt like doing it, that’s all.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why is that bullshit?”

“Because I know how you always tried to avoid looking at my face during sex.” The way he says it so bitterly makes it clear that it aggravated him deeply whenever she did it, as it reminded him of the fact that she was only using him as a substitute. It’s easier to imagine doing this with someone else when she doesn’t have to see his face, Porco always assumes it that way.

But that’s where he is wrong, terribly so. She doesn’t want to see his face not because she wants to imagine Zeke in his shoes; it’s because she’s trying her best not to think too much about him. To stop herself from being so attached to him. She didn’t want to make eye contact, didn’t want to cry out his name between kisses, didn’t want him to know the faces she made when he brought her to ecstasy in the way no one ever did.

Her tongue is itching to form the words, to let him know how she truly feels about him, but she’s still afraid. What would happen if they start dating each other? Her image is tainted, people are looking at her with leering eyes whenever she walks down the hallway. She doesn’t want them to start looking at him in that way too just because they’re lovers.

She’s known to be the most promiscuous girl in the office. Buy her a drink and she’ll suck your dick before she can finish it, she once heard a co-worker speak behind her back, pulling dirty snickers from the other males. But it’s okay. She’s fine with it. Perhaps, she’s even used to it. Even when she was still a virgin back in high school, people already called her a slut for no reason other than being pretty enough to steal their boyfriends’ attention away. She didn’t even try to be attractive; people just saw her that way. When she lost her virginity to a boy she claimed to love during prom night—one that she trusted to like her not because of her face or body, but for her heart and personality—she realized it was a mistake. He was the same, just like the other boys who wanted her body. That night, she told him to stop kissing her, and he didn’t. She told him to stop touching her, and he didn’t. She told him to stop, she really did, over and over again, but he slammed his palm over her mouth and forced himself on her in an abandoned parking lot, just a couple of blocks away from her house. And no one heard her cry. No one came to help. No one.

Every right she had of her body was stripped away from her that night. She was treated no better than an object, by the person she adored the most at that time. First, she felt fear. Then, she felt shame. Betrayed. And hatred, not just toward the man who didn’t give a damn about her feelings, but herself.

That incident changed her. Years passed by and she became stronger. She wouldn’t allow herself to feel guilty about that night, she learned to love her body back. But her perspective toward men, and sex itself, started to change. They became meaningless to her, everything was. Sex, relationship status, love—she stopped believing in it. Sex would always be just sex. And if people were going to take advantage of her anyway, she learned that it’s best to stop fighting back and go with the flow. Sex could be enjoyable if she stops resisting, she finds, and she was no longer scared of being objectified by men. She took advantage of it. She had lost her choice back then, but now she’s taken back control, both of her body and her life. In her mind, they don’t get to fuck her because they want to, they do because she allows them to. She didn’t do it to give them pleasure, they were the ones who had to pleasure her.

She was always dominant in bed, always the one who gave out commands, and Porco learned about it from how hard Pieck tied her sash around his wrist, binding both hands behind his back as she settled on his lap. It wasn’t just a game to her, wasn’t just a fetish or a kink she loved to try. It was an act of revenge. She was using him as she pleased.

But she wasn’t going to fall in love, that much she promised herself. They could taste her body but they would never have her heart. That’s how it was supposed to be, even with Porco. But Porco… It was never just her body that he wanted, was it? He wanted her everything. He wanted her heart first, and everything else second. Wanted to take her heart with him, wanted to engrave his name in her head until she could no longer think about anything or anyone else but him. And Pieck, for the first time in her life, feels like she’s willing to give it all to him too.

“Porco.”

The said male’s eyes flicker, seemingly more golden than ever underneath the dimness of her bedroom light as they find their way to meet her brown ones. It always sends shivers down his spine whenever she calls him by his name, as he is so used to being called Pokko or another pet name that is just as annoying—and endearing—to him. “What?” He runs a hand through his slicked-back hair, pushing back the stray strands that fall over his eyes.

“Are you…” Her voice turns quiet, gradually losing confidence and it’s very unusual for her to do that Porco almost forgets to tap the ashes off his cigarette. “Have you ever felt embarrassed being seen with me?”

The question makes him blink, surprised not just by her sentence but the way she said it—nervous and saddened. “What are you talking about?” He replies with a frown—his signature look, Pieck would say. “You’re asking me if I’m ashamed of being friends with you?” He scoffs. “Don’t be stupid.” Porco straightens his back, taking another puff. When she stays mute, he sighs. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your head right now, but as annoying as you are, you’re a decent person, Pieck.”

A faint smile breaks upon her lips. “Decent?”

“I meant, nice,” Porco corrects the word for her, rolling his eyes. “You’re a nice person. Annoying,” he emphasizes once more and this time, she’s the one who rolls her eyes. “But, yeah, nice.”

“Do tell me more.” She bats her eyelashes at him, teasing him about it and hoping it would make him blush but he sees something in her eyes: the sincere happiness that blooms on her face and how she desperately needs to hear someone speak words of comfort to her. He wants to ask what makes her feel so distraught that she has to ask this question out loud but he figures it can wait.

Crushing the rest of his cigarette on the ashtray, Porco slightly turns his body, facing her properly. “You’re kind,” he says, meeting her eyes but doesn’t have the strength to linger on them for too long. It still makes him feel shy, looking into her eyes and being stared back by her like this. “And you’re sweet. People might think otherwise from how vulgar your words are when you speak, but I know that you never meant any harm. I know how you always try to act strong in front of people—how you try to look like the shits they said about you behind your back don’t faze you but I know that sometimes, they did. That they hurt you. That they made you angry. But you never did anything about it, because you knew it would only be a waste of time. You didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt you. You wanted to prove that you were a better person than that bunch of lowlifes; that you were much stronger than them, and you did. And that’s why I admire you, Pieck. If it was me, I would’ve socked each one of them on the face.”

“Wow…” She blushes slightly. She knew how attentive he could be, she just thought she was a better liar than this. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“That their words got to you?”

She nods. “I always thought I hid it well.”

“Well,” Porco smiles thinly. “I didn’t at first. But when you kept calling me up for sex during an unreasonable hour and clawed at my back like a fucking demon, I kinda got the clue that you were pissed-off.”

They exchange glances before they melt into soft laughter. “Sorry,” Pieck says. “I’ll try not to do that next time.”

“Don’t. I think it’s hot.” He smirks. “But maybe trim your nails a little? Kinda hurt when I take a shower afterward.”

“Sure. If you let me peg you again next time.”

“Jesus Christ, I was this close at thanking God for not having that word mentioned in our conversation today.” But when she laughs about it, it spreads to his face like fire and Porco bites his lower lip to stop his grin from appearing.

Porco always looks five years younger when he doesn’t frown, and with that beguiling smile being showcased on his lips, Pieck has never wanted to kiss a man so badly in her entire life.

She raises herself from the bed, moving closer to him until she sits down before him. Pieck rests her hand on his lap, her body still bare with her quilt pooling around her waist. “Porco,” the sudden gravity in her voice makes him nervous. “Can I kiss you?”

He almost chokes, flustered from head to toe. He never expected her to ask for it, especially like this. “Do—” His voice turns a pitch higher. “Do you really need to ask first?”

“Well, it’s chivalrous for a man to ask his lady for a kiss beforehand.”

“Oh, I’m the lady here?” He snorts and she giggles, and just like that, his gaze turns mellow again. Porco leans in, his hand resting against the side of her face, careful thumb painting delicate strokes against her cheekbone. His eyes droop, fixated on the shape of her mouth. “Can I kiss you?” He whispers, gently gliding the pad of his thumb against the soft texture of her lips.

Her heart jerks, the butterflies in her stomach flutter their wings. “Yes, please.”

Porco tastes like a cigarette and the peppermint candy he keeps in the pocket of his jeans at all times. There are a lot of men who taste sweeter than he does, but no one kisses her just as sweet. The way he moves his lips, the way they slant them against hers. The way he sighs into the kiss, his eyebrows knitted in passion as he slides his hand to rest on her nape, his fingers curling around her wavy strands. He kisses her with feelings and that’s what makes it different. It's only Porco who can kiss her like this, who can tug on her heartstrings like she’s an instrument waiting to be played.

“Porco,” Pieck breathily whispers against his lips, “Be with me…”

Porco breathes heavily through his nose, his thumb pressing down on her chin to open her mouth wider. Their tongues meet, only the tips at first before she sighs and lets his slide against her own. He purrs at the contact. “I’m already here.”

“No, I meant—” She pulls away with her hand on his chest, catching him off guard. “Be with me… P-properly.” Porco looks at her like she’s the hardest poem he’s ever read and Pieck swallows her breath, the throbbing in her heart pumping more adrenaline to her veins. “Why don’t we take a step further?”

"I'm not following you, Pieck.”

“I mean, like, why don't we move in together?” She wants to bury her face in her hands, regretting her choice of words. Why is it so hard to just say ‘I want us to start dating’, Pieck chides herself. What you’re saying is ten times more outrageous than that!

“You want us to what?” He blurts out, eyes largening.

“You can be my roommate.” Her thoughts are jumbled, panic and shame making her words incoherent. “It’s cheaper that way, right? Plus, you’re almost here all the time. We can share a room and use the other one as your gaming room or something—”

“Pieck—”

“Or if you want us to have separate rooms like we’re roommates, that’s fine too! We can—“

“Pieck,” he stops her, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Calm down.” Her body turns stiff but with a sharp intake of breath, her tense muscles begin to unknot and all it’s left is just the shame that turns her pale skin scarlet. “Okay,” Porco examines her closely. “Let’s start over. What are you trying to say?”

Pieck moves to stand on her knees, gathering his face in her hands. She peers deeply into his eyes, feeling like her head is about to explode from all these emotions she has inside. “Porco, let’s do it. No more casual sex. Let’s do this seriously.”

“I—What?”

“If she could do it with Eren, why not us?” Pieck suggests, there’s panic in her eyes, trapped between being afraid of crossing the line and wanting it to happen. “We understand each other a lot better. I know how you used to have a crush on me in the past, and if you still like me that way—which I’m hoping you still do, then I’ll be honest and say that…” She’s running out of steam. “I’ve… been having feelings for you too…” Now that she’s saying everything out loud, she realizes just how embarrassing this must sound. But that’s okay. She can handle it. She just hopes her feelings for him don’t sound… shallow.

This is probably not the best time to talk about this, and perhaps she’s not saying this right. But this is her first time harboring these kinds of feelings for someone, feelings so intense, they make her brain turn to mush whenever Porco smiles a little bit too gentle than usual. Pieck doesn’t know how to say it. She just wishes he understands.

Porco’s jaw hangs loose on his face, staring at her like she’s grown another head. It’s so… bizarre to finally be at the receiving end of the words he’s been waiting to hear. It feels like a dream, and maybe it is, which is why he’s grinding his teeth together, trying to wake himself up but he can’t. This is reality. This is truly happening.

And yet…

Why can’t he say something? Why can’t he find the words?

“Porco..?” The thrill in her eyes slowly turns to dread. “Pokko, please say something.”

His chest tightens. Slowly, he clamps his hand around her wrist, taking it away from his face. “I don’t know if you’re really being serious or you’re just teasing me—”

“I’m serious,” she hurriedly confirms. “Dead serious. I know it must be hard for you to believe me after how I treated you all this time, and honestly? I can’t even believe that I’m saying this to you. Fuck, I don't even know why I have these feelings in the first place when all I’ve been doing was trying to stop myself from falling for you but—” She catches her breath, frantic for air. “I can’t. It’s no use, Porco. It’s impossible for me to not like you in that way. It’s…” She presses their temples together, closing her eyes while Porco holds his breath. “Real. What I feel for you is real. I’ve been trying to deny it but it hurts me whenever I see you spend your time with that girl, seeing you laugh with her in the hallway. I don’t want it.”

His head is spinning, around and around until he loses grip on reality. “You’re… jealous?”

“Jealous,” she chortles once at herself, pulling away just enough for him to catch her sheepish smile. “Yeah, I guess I am. I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I want to be the only one who makes you laugh that way.”

“But…” He croaks. “Your jokes are terrible.”

She blinks twice before she bursts out laughing. “Yeah.” She sniffles, wiping her eyes. “My jokes are terrible.”

Pieck’s laughter is a disease, one that’s contagious. Whenever she laughs, he’ll smile along with her. But not tonight. Tonight, Porco reaches out to seize her hand, his palm covering her knuckles. And he leans in close—close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath fanning her skin. “Why are you crying?” He questions, so quietly as if he’s afraid that he’ll scare her away.

She doesn’t know why. She didn’t even realize that she was until he asked about it. Her emotions are all over the place—joy, loneliness, shame, fear, and hopes mixed into one. Ah, this is the worst, she complains inwardly, hating herself for it. I look so dumb right now. “I’ve got something in my eyes.” She promptly turns around, wiping every bit of tears away with the heel of her palm but they’re unstoppable. Damn it, stop crying, she begs herself, already feeling the way her body is shuddering with every broken sob. “I’m—I’m sorry, I don’t know why—”

To her surprise, Porco circles his arms around her petite waist, gently pulling her back onto his lap until she has her spine connected to his chest like a set of a puzzle. “Calm down,” he says again, his lips brushing like a flutter of butterfly wings against her shoulder. And Porco waits. He waits until her body stops shaking. He waits until her sobs turn into whimpers until eventually, they’ll fade into thin air.

This time, Porco takes the lead. “So, you’re telling me… that you want us to date?”

Her heart throbs. Resting her arms above the ones that surround her waist, she answers him with a weak nod.

“I thought you didn’t want to be in a relationship.”

“I want to have one if it’s with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you, Pokko, what else?” Pieck can’t see his face, and when he stays silent, every second that passes by feels like a rope tightening around her throat. “Porco…? Say something, please…”

“I want to believe you…” His voice is nothing but a murmur. “But at the same time, I’m worried that you misread your feelings.”

“It’s my feelings. How could I misread them?”

Because jealousy doesn’t always mean love, Pieck. “You do know there’s a reason why I said I didn’t want to be in a relationship, right? I’m a control freak—“

Pieck shakes her head. “You’re not.”

“I’m possessive. I get overly jealous—”

“I’m all those things too, why is it so wrong?”

“No, you’re not listening to me,” he chides gently, accompanying it with a soft kiss on the juncture of her neck. “You’re important to me, Pieck, but I don’t want to ruin what we have now because I know I’ll be that guy again if we start dating. And maybe right now you’re saying it’s fine—that you’ll accept that part of me too, but you don’t know yet. What if things don’t work out?”

She gives a moment to let his words sink in and Porco waits with a thrumming heart. He may sound mature and calm, but inside his chest, a hurricane churned.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can do it,” Pieck says, and Porco freezes. He didn’t think she’d give up this easily.

“Oh…” His chest constricts, smothering him. “Yeah… Well, I guess we should just stay where we are then.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” She spins around on his lap, squishing both of his cheeks with her hands. “I can’t agree with you no matter what you say to me. I know I’m being so naive right now, but what I care about right now is that I’ve never felt this way toward somebody else before and I need you to feel the same way like I do. I sound selfish, and that’s right, I am selfish. You’ve been friends with me for years, you know that. I don’t want to have it any other way, Pokko. I can’t. I’m willing to risk it all if that’s what it takes to be with you. I’m willing to bet everything on this because I want you to be mine and mine only.” Pieck’s gaze is burning, even if her eyes are still misted by her tears. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, isn’t that what you always said?”

Porco gulps, his eyes large in shock. “You’re… You’re being a bit possessive right now.”

“Yeah, well good,” she spits back, her tone a little bit harsher than intended. “That makes two of us then. So, are you going to say yes or not?”

“Why do you sound like you’re threatening me?”

“Because I am. Take me as your girlfriend or I swear to God, Porco Galliard, I will blackmail you. I know your secrets and I’m not afraid to tell literally everyone in the office that you have a heart-shaped mole on your cute little butt.”

She’s doing it again, Porco thinks, can’t help but be amused a little by it. Pieck may sound like she has all the control, that she could blurt every word and every feeling blatantly while staying unfazed but he can tell how vulnerable she is. How she’s scared of rejection, how she’s embarrassed about baring her heart like this without knowing whether he’s going to do the same.

Before his lips could curve into a grin, Porco steals her adorable pout with a kiss. Her hands grip tightly against his shoulders, conflicted between allowing herself to be swept by the sweetness of his kiss or to continue with the conversation. Thankfully for her, Porco breaks away.

“Y-you’re trying to distract me.” She covers her stutter with a grumble.

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“Well, then,” he kisses her again, parting her lips with his, running his tongue along her lower lip. It leaves her skin tingling, her eyes a little bit dazed. He breaks away, his thumb pressing against the corner of her mouth. “How about now?”

She can feel she’s about to lose the battle. “S-stop kissing me and just answer my question already!”

Porco laughs softly, shaking his head. “You are so annoying.” But his touches speak otherwise. He plays with her hair, his fingers curling against the pendant that lays between the valley of her breasts. He takes a moment, building the tension. “I guess…” He trails his fingers upward, following the shape of her clavicle. Pieck turns stiff, her heart beating loudly in anticipation. “You leave me with no choice but to say—”

The doorbell rings, causing them to almost jump off their skins. Porco stops his sentence midway, and Pieck groans, slamming her forehead against his chest. “Oh my God,” she whines. “If that’s the pizza delivery guy, I’m gonna kill him.”

“I didn’t order any pizza.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope. I was busy fucking you ten minutes ago.”

“Oh, yeah, right.”

The bell chimes in again, growing persistent and Pieck’s glare turns more menacing with each ring. Porco chuckles, pressing a light kiss on her lips once. “I’ll get the door. Clean up and get dressed. We’ll continue our conversation later.”

Her pout returns, her bottom lip jutting out. “Can’t you please just say yes first?”

Porco climbs down the bed, the corner of his lips tilting up. “Later, Pieck.”

“But whyyyyy?”

His eyes turn crescent, laughing in the way she rarely saw. He leans in to give her a cute peck on her forehead, before he pulls away with his hand settled on top of her head, their eyes meeting at the same height. “Cause I want to see you suffer just a little.” His wink baffles her, painting her cheeks pink.

“I hate you, Pokko.”

“Be nice or I won’t date you.”

“Oh my God, just kill me.”

With another ring of the bell, Porco hastily slips back into his jeans and walks out of her bedroom, closing the door behind him to give her privacy. Yawning once as he pulls down his white shirt, he curls his fingers around the doorknob.

He finds you standing on the other side of the door, your eyes red and puffy, and your body shivering from the cold. Porco gapes, rushing to your spot to check on you. “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Can I…” Your voice quavers. “Can I stay with you guys for the night?”

***

“I think I can understand why he wasn’t being one hundred percent honest with you about it,” Pieck says as she helps you dry your hair with your towel. You have just finished taking a shower, your skin is still damp and smells familiarly like her shampoo. You have told your two best friends everything they needed to know as you tried to calm down. Your body is no longer trembling from the cold or your previous outburst, but the pang in your chest is just as wide.

“I know,” you weakly mumble back, “I know that he did it because he didn’t want me to worry, but… I can’t help but think what else has he been keeping from me?”

Your female co-worker, who’s sitting on the coffee table before you, leans back with her palms propping her weight, crossing her legs. “Everybody has secrets, honey. I’m sure you have something you keep to yourself too.”

Porco returns to the living room with three cups of hot drinks. He hands one to Pieck, “Coffee. Bitter like your soul,” he says and she rolls her eyes, muttering flatly, “Thanks,” with no sense of gratitude whatsoever. “And some hot chocolate for you,” he says, handing you your cup before he takes a seat beside you on the couch. “That’s your favorite, right?”

You take a sip, feeling the familiar taste hitting your tongue. “Yeah. Thank you, Porco.” He returns your smile with a light ruffle of your hair. “Your man is an ass but he’s not a jerk,” he says, blowing on his coffee. “And he didn’t really do anything wrong. He slept with her a long time before you got together, right?” He sees you timidly nod your head. “Then, you shouldn’t blame him for it.”

“I’m not blaming him ‘cause he slept with her.”

“Really?” Pieck asks. “‘Cause you kinda sound like you’re upset because of that too.”

You sigh, your head throbbing. “I guess I just feel a little bit… crushed, you know? I always thought it was a one-sided thing. Eren seemed like he hated her so much, like he couldn’t stand her because she was so obsessed with him. And I felt relieved because of it, ‘cause I thought he had zero interest in her. That there was no way he would want to be with her in that way. But it’s not true, is it? He liked her once.”

“I don’t think he did,” Porco says, leaning his back against the couch.

“Well, he liked her enough to have sex with her.”

“Having sex with someone doesn’t always mean you’re into them like that,” Pieck tries to cheer you up. “Maybe he just found her face attractive. Or her boobs.”

“Or maybe he just felt like having sex at that time and she was the only one available,” Porco shrugs. “No matter what it was, I bet it was nothing deep.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because we’ve done that,” Pieck answers you. “We’ve been having casual sex for more than a year. And I’m not talking about me and Porco. We’ve been sleeping with other people too, and there’s nothing serious about it. We said hi, we fucked, we had a good time, and we left. That’s it.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t think that way because I’m not like you guys.” You can feel frustration building inside you again, followed close by exhaustion. “I’ve only ever had sex with one person my entire life and it’s such a big deal for me. I’m not the type who can meet someone at a bar and hook up with them in the next hour. Maybe Eren is that type—maybe it’s like you said,” you gesture your hand toward Porco, “He just wanted to hook up and she was the only one present at that time. But in my head, I keep seeing it differently. I can’t stop thinking that he liked her then. Maybe a little too much. And it scares me because what if one day…” You tarry, your hand clutching against the fabric that covers your chest. “What if one day he’ll like her again?”

Pieck and Porco trade glances in silence as you turn pensive. With a sigh, Pieck takes the lead. “Okay, honey, listen to me.” She leans closer and lands both hands on your shoulder, squeezing them lightly. “You gotta relax. I know that you think she’s perfect for him, but you’re the one he wants. Plus, it happened one time in the past, and he sounds like he regrets it big time to me. You just gotta trust him when he said that it didn’t mean anything to him.”

You pause, chewing on your bottom lip. “The voice message she left didn’t sound that way, though.”

“Maybe she’s just a delusional bitch.” Pieck throws her hands in the air. “Babe, are you seriously going to trust her words over his? You don’t know her but you know Eren. This is the same guy who literally punched a journalist on the face just because the dude mentioned your name in an interview. The same guy who told a thousand people to sing happy birthday to you. The same guy who told you secrets he never told anyone about. I don’t know about you, but it just sounds stupid to trust a girl—who’s an obsessed fangirl of his, by the way, just a crazy bitch like the rest of them—over someone you’ve known for like, what, a decade?”

You’re sinking further into your seat, guilt, and shame erupting from the bottom of your stomach. She’s right, you think inwardly, What the hell am I doing?

“Don’t be too hard on her, Pieck,” Porco reprimands when he notices how you seem like you’re on the verge of crying again. “It’s easy to think that way when you’re not the one facing the problem. She’s allowed to be upset. Give her some time to process this.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Pieck exhales, not out of frustration, but as a way to keep herself composed. “Didn’t mean to get worked up like that. Guess I was just frustrated over something else.” She silently glares at the man before her and Porco covers his cheeky grin with his mug, sipping his coffee. Kicking him once on the shin, she returns to you, taking your hand and rubbing her thumb soothingly against your knuckles. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Your smile still doesn’t reach your eyes but it’s a start. “Thanks for listening, guys. I guess I’m just overreacting.”

“Hey.” Porco lands a hand on your head, bending down a little to match your height. “It’s normal to react this way. You don’t have to be embarrassed by it. Cry as much as you want if you feel like that can calm you down. And maybe it’s best if you stop seeing him for a while too, just to get your head clear.” His touch reminds you of how your dad used to comfort you, making you feel nostalgic.

“What if he comes here, though?” Pieck asks. “I mean, he doesn’t know my address but—”

“Easy,” Porco scoffs. “If he comes here, I’ll kick his ass.” You and Pieck exchange stare before she snorts, holding back her laugh. Porco turns flushed. “Why are you laughing?!”

“It’s just,” Pieck giggles. “Eren’s a lot bigger than you, Pokko.”

He narrows his eyes. “Size isn’t everything.”

“Oh, yeah,” Pieck says, sending a naughty wink in your direction. “I can guarantee that one.”

You grimace. “I think he’s not talking about dicks here, Pieck.”

They're ridiculous. They’ve always been that way, even during something serious like their monthly meetings or the end of Hachiko. But it’s precisely because of that, that you can feel like you can breathe a little. Feeling warmth spreading through your veins, you turn to Porco. “Thank you, Porco. I don’t feel like crying again—my eyes are about to pop out of their sockets. Can we do something to pass the time?”

“Well, you can help me cook for dinner. Would’ve asked Pieck but we know she’s pretty shit at it.”

“But you know what I’m good at?” Pieck crosses her arms on her chest, tilting her chin up proudly. “Fucking you dumb. With or without a plastic coc—”

“Woah, too much information there, guys. Please.” But it succeeds to make you titter, the heavyweight in your chest dissipating little by little. Standing up from your seat, you say, “Yeah, why not. I’m hungry. Where’s the apron?”

***

“Young master, there’s a man waiting inside his car outside the gate named Eren Jaeger asking to see you. Shall I let him in?”

Armin’s fingers stop cold from flipping another page of his book. He turns around to see his butler—Artur Braus—with his eyes largening in surprise. “E-Eren, you said?” His blood runs cold.

“Yes, young master.” The older male notices how tense the boy becomes once he confirmed his name. “Is it not the right time? Shall I send him away?”

“N-no, please, uh—” Armin clears his throat. “Send him in. I’ll head downstairs in a few minutes.”

“Certainly, young master.” As the butler takes his leave, the golden-haired boy sinks further into his leather couch, his heart rate escalating. He closes his book at the same time he shuts his crystal-like blue eyes, taking a deep breath.

What is Eren doing here?

The memory of his lips brushing against yours in the front of your apartment building sits at the front of his mind, and his heart pounds painfully before it plummets to his stomach. He must have seen it, Armin thinks, chewing anxiously on his lip. He must have been in her apartment when I dropped her off. He must have seen the kiss. There’s no other reason for him to come into my house, uninvited. He’s going to confront me about it.

It’s not fear that Armin feels building up inside him. He doesn’t know if you two have started dating properly yet but it’s clear that you’re both in love with one another and he deserves to receive a mean hook on his jaw for kissing someone else’s lover behind their back. He knows that. But that’s not what he’s afraid of.

He’s afraid to see Eren and witness the anger and the pain he’d inflicted on him written in his eyes. He’s afraid of the disappointment and the regret Eren holds toward him for thinking of him as a friend. Armin is still crushed by your rejection, drowned in guilt for kissing you without permission. Meeting Eren right now will only intensify those feelings.

Truth be told, even now, Armin still doesn’t understand why he did it. Usually, he wouldn’t even have the bravery to skim his lips against your cheek as a parting gift. But he kissed you, fully on the mouth, with all the feelings he held for you, overlooking the consequences of his action. It wasn’t like me at all, he admits in shame, scarlet looks pretty on his porcelain cheeks but the rest of his skin is turning pale. He has sent you text after text, stating out his apology in words that he spent nearly an hour composing. He didn’t have the bravery to call you, wasn’t sure if you would answer it. Even right now, three hours have passed and he still hasn’t received any reply from you.

The sound of Eren’s car pulling over at his courtyard snaps him back to reality. The reality where Armin has to face the consequences of his action. He has to face someone he once regarded as a close friend—he still does, but Armin can’t be sure if Eren still feels the same way. Not after he has betrayed him like this. Now that he thought about it, Armin hasn’t even told him about his feelings for you yet. His thoughts were too busy revolving around you that he could barely pay attention to anything else. And if he was a true gentleman, Armin would’ve spoken the truth to his friend before he made a move on you.

“I’m the worst,” Armin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. But once the weariness in his eyes is washed away, a spark of determination stands in its place.

No. It’s not too late. It’s not too late to fix things.

We need to talk.

Once his resolve is clear, Armin hops down the couch and hastily makes his way downstairs.

There are no stars in the sky that night, covered heavily by thick clouds that rumbled above Eren’s head as he steps down his car. The butler ushers him inside, opening the front door that leads him to the foyer. “Would you like some tea, Mr. Jaeger?” Artur asks.

“No, I won’t be long.” Right at the time he finishes his sentence, Eren catches Armin’s eyes as the boy steps down the stairs. He doesn’t greet him, acknowledging Armin’s little smile simply by staring back at him.

Armin, though he finds the situation to be suffocating, is able to stay unfazed. “You can leave, Artur, thank you,” the young master dismisses his butler with a wave of his hand. Performing a polite bow, Artur excuses himself. Now that they’re alone, the tension is twice as heavy. “I’m—I’m surprised to see you here,” Armin starts awkwardly, “Shall we, uh, take a seat?”

“Where is she?” Eren cuts to the chase. Seeing the other boy frown in response, he mentions your name.

“I—” Confusion takes over his restlessness. “I dropped her off at her apartment a few hours ago. I thought she was with you—”

“We had a fight and she told me she’d go to your house.”

Armin’s jaw hangs loose. “But… She’s not here. She hasn’t even responded to my text.”

“Fuck,” Eren harshly curses under his breath, running one hand through his hair to push the stray strands that fall out of his bun. “Where is she then?”

He’s panicking, Armin thinks to himself, observing the little gestures he makes. It’s his first time seeing him behave like this. Did they fight because of me? The thought scares him further, making his fingers shake so he curls them into a ball. “Have you tried to contact her?”

“She wouldn’t pick up my calls.” Eren returns to his phone, quickly checking to see if you have responded to the nine missed calls he left you. Nothing. “I’m gonna keep looking for her,” he states, tucking his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. “Let me know if you hear anything from her.”

“Wait—Eren!“ Armin stops him in his tracks just when he’s about to turn around and step down his porch. “I think I know where she is. Do you have Pieck’s or Porco’s numbers on your phone?”

“I don’t. You?”

“Neither do I.” Eren’s shoulders droop low at his answer, heavy with disappointment. “But I know where Pieck lives,” Armin adds, bringing back some light into his eyes.

“Give me the address then.”

“I—I don’t remember what street she’s in—b-but I know what her building looks like. And I know how to get there. I… I can show you where it is, i-if you’d let me…”

Eren pauses with his jaw clenched. His eyes are cold and serious as he stares down at him. It’s clear that being with Armin for even a moment longer than this is the last thing Eren wants to do, and he’s not kind enough to at least pretend about it.

Armin casts his gaze downward, fidgeting. “I… I know you don’t want to be around me right now but… If you could give me a chance to explain… I’d want to talk things out with you…”

Armin is right. As vexed as he might be, Eren has very few options to choose from. Right now, he just has to be calm. He has to be patient.

“Grab your jacket,” Eren tells him, turning around on his heels and making his way out. “I’ll wait for you in the car. Be quick.”

Armin’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“Y-yes!”

***

“Turn right on the next corner,” Armin suggests and Eren follows his direction without a word. There’s anger radiating from his body, Armin can feel it like a torch burning too close to his skin.

Streetlight after streetlight, they pass them by until they flicker like fireflies in a ghostly forest. Armin despises the silence. It reminds him of the old days when his classmates leave him on the corner of the class, where he’s only accompanied by his thoughts—ones that are growing clamorous by the second, screaming louder and louder until his head feels like it’s splitting into pieces.

“Eren.” Armin barely recognizes his own voice, the way it quivers underneath the pressure of the tension. “It’s been a while since we last talked. I mean, really talked. Like… Like friends do.” If you still consider me as one, he quietly adds.

The other male lets the silence answer him for a few strangling seconds that last like years on Armin’s case. He only has one hand on the steering wheel as he drives straight, resting his other elbow on the door panel. “Don’t feel like talking to you right now, Armin.”

Eren could’ve just landed a blow straight on his chest with his fist and Armin wouldn’t complain. It would’ve felt the same anyway. “You’re… You’re angry at me, aren’t you?”

His jaw tightens but that’s the only answer he gives.

Armin sighs, his hands adjoined together as he rests them on his lap. How do I fix this? He thinks over and over again, his bottom lip seconds away from swelling from how hard he chews on it.

He’s transparent to Eren’s eyes, and it makes the taller male’s stomach swirl in discomfort. He might be irked at him right now, but he knows he’s not being fair. He should, at least, give him a chance to explain. “Left or right?” He asks, gentler this time, as he slows down near another intersection.

“Huh? O-oh, left.”

Eren swerves his car, pressing two of his fingers against his lips as he mollifies his temper. “What do you want to talk about?” He finally asks after a while.

“Eh?”

“You can’t focus on giving me directions if you keep having your thoughts to yourself. Talk.”

Armin can feel his heart hammering against his chest. “Umm…” Where should I start? Should I just head straight to the point? “I want to talk to you… about her.”

Eren has expected it, successfully keeping his composure as he gives the other man the chance to elaborate. “Eren, I know I haven’t been completely honest with you,” Armin continues, stretching out a hand to give him a signal to turn right after they pass the next traffic light. “I’m not sure if she’s ever talked about me, but… We became close when you were on tour. A-as friends.”

“Sure,” is his only answer and Armin feels a shiver running down his spine from how doubtful Eren sounds in his ear.

“Well, I—I like her more than that,” he hastily clarifies. “I think… I might be in love with her… No, I am…” He peeks slightly through his bangs, examining the other male’s expression in the dark like a frightened child. “But she never… She never felt the same way about me…” He grows quiet. “I don’t think she ever will…”

“So you kissed her to change her mind?”

The color drains from his face at once, head whirling around to face the brunette with his eyes largening in horror. “N-no, that’s not—” Armin has one hand gripping tightly against his seatbelt, fingers scratching against the fabric that covers his pounding heart. “That’s not why I kissed her!”

Eren doesn’t even spare him a glance. “What, then?”

Armin has his lips separated but his words die on his tongue. Dragging his eyes slowly to his lap, he mumbles, “I… I don’t know why I did that. I was… desperate. I wanted to have her so badly that my body moved before I could think my action through. I felt really bad about it. It was… I don’t think I can forgive myself for this. I’m sorry.”

Eren sneaks a glimpse, catching the regret on his face. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

“Because I shouldn’t have done it. Not to her, and not to you either. I knew you liked her, and I knew she felt the same way, and yet I—” He exhales sharply, loathing himself for his action. “I tried to steal her away from you. And I never talked about this with you, how I’m so in love with her—it’s driving me insane. I can… understand if you want us to stop being friends. I did terrible things to you.”

Armin’s apology sounds genuine enough to dampen the fire that’s blazing in his chest. Eren always has a soft spot for him. Not sure why, but he always perceives him like a younger sibling to him. One that is so pure and innocent, afraid of making mistakes and being hated by the world. “We all did shitty things in our lives,” he comments. “Don’t beat yourself up over a kiss.”

Armin moves his gaze back to him. “You’re… surprisingly calm about this.”

“I actually feel like punching you in the face once but…” He sighs, still sounding impatient but less irritated. “What good would it bring anyway?”

The shorter male straightens his back. “I—I could take a punch if that could make you feel better.”

“Don’t tempt me, Arlert.”

But there’s no venom in his voice, Armin can tell. Eren is upset, but he doesn’t despise him. A delicate smile breaks upon the shorter male’s lips, sinking back into his seat with his heartrate moving back to its usual speed. “Even before that kiss happened, I… always felt terrible and guilty for doing it behind your back when I knew that you were in love with her too.” He waits, waiting for Eren to correct his line, just in case. He doesn’t and the guilt that builds inside him doubles. “I’m the worst, aren’t I? Trying to steal another man’s girl behind his back like that and—”

“You didn’t.”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t steal her from me,” Eren lowly corrects him. His eyes barely have any light in them as he stares vacantly at the empty road. “She was never mine to begin with.”

There’s only heartbreak in his voice and nothing else, which somehow makes Armin feel ten times worse. “I thought you guys loved each other.”

“I am in love with her.” As the memory of his previous argument with you resurfaces—the way you stare at him with fury and sorrow written in your eyes—Eren adds in a strained voice, “But I’m not sure if she… still feels the same way about me.”

“Because of the fight?” Eren doesn’t answer. “A-are you fighting because I kissed her?”

“No.”

“Oh…” Relief washes over him but not for long. Confusion shortly replaces its spot. “Then… what happened?”

“Just focus on giving me the damn direction, Arlert.”

“S-sorry.” Armin quickly spins his head around to watch the road that spreads before him. “Keep heading straight. Turn right on the next corner. We shouldn’t be far from there.” Eren steps harder on the gas, following his instructions. “There, stop in front of that building.”Stopping, Eren parks the car at the edge of the street.

“She lives on the third floor, apartment 307,” Armin utters. “You don’t need to have access to enter the building, but… I don’t know if Pieck will let you in.”

“That’s fine with me.” Eren shuts off the engine, taking off his seatbelt. “I just need to make sure she’s okay.”

Armin blinks in realization. He’s not chasing after her to force her to talk, he ponders. He’s just worried about her. Armin smiles sadly to himself. So, he really cares about her, huh… “Can I ask one thing—i-if I may?”

Eren already has one foot stepping out of his car, wearing his snapback over his head. “What?”

“Why do you love her so much?”

Eren freezes, stunned by the question. It sounds silly at first, especially coming from a man who loves you just as much, but when he tries to answer, millions of reasons enter his mind at once and he can barely choose one. But there’s one thing that stands out the most.

“Cause she’s the reason why I’m still here.” Armin can barely hear him when he responds. “The reason why I still want to live. She’s my lifeline.”

He steps out and closes the car door behind him, not giving Armin a chance to respond.

***

The clock strikes nine at the same time the doorbell rings. You and Porco are standing next to each other near the kitchen counter, with you chopping off bell peppers and him stirring his stew. “Pieck, can you answer the door?” He shouts, “It’s already late and I don’t want to face yet another one of your booty calls.”

You’re still distraught. Your head’s in the clouds and your body’s gone autopilot. Usually, you would’ve at least snickered at that line, but your eyes are hollow, your hands moving so slowly until eventually, they stop moving at all.

Trying to garner your attention, Porco bumps his shoulder against yours, grumbling, “It actually happened once, you know.”

“W-what?”

“Me meeting one of her booty calls.”

“Oh…” You return your focus to the knife in your hand, pick up your pace and slice the rest of your bell peppers. “Was it awkward?”

“Kinda. He was like, ‘H-hello, I’m here to see Pieck.’” He impersonates mockingly before he sticks out his tongue like a child. “Yuck.”

It’s rare to see him acting this way, and you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows. “You seem like you’re in a good mood.”

“Maybe.” He aims to be secretive, but his tiny gleeful smile betrays him right away. You squint your eyes suspiciously, settling your knife down on the cutting board. “Hey, get back to chopping, lady.”

“Have you finally confessed your feelings to her?”

“No.” He scoffs, acting offended. Then his cheeky grin appears. “But she just did.”

“Oh my God!” You gasp, covering your mouth with both hands. “Porco, this is so great! I’m so happy for you!” You jump to hug his side, tangling your arms around his waist, and squeeze him with all your might.

“Hey, get off, I’m allergic to affection!” Porco protests, but he’s laughing with you, his usually stern expression relaxes as he sees you slowly returning to your old self. Finally, she’s smiling again, he thinks.

It’s not easy to keep you distracted, but Porco is doing a marvelous job at it and you’re more than grateful for it. The distress that swirls within you isn’t going to go away anytime soon, not until you have a thorough talk with Eren but, at least, Pieck and Porco’s love life can help you put a cloak over your feelings, allowing you to pretend for a second that you’re okay.

The doorbell rings again.

“Jesus Christ,” Porco groans. “Pieck, get the door! We’re busy over here!”

“Ugh! Why can’t a lady paint her nails in peace?” Pieck laments, tossing her nail polish harshly to the coffee table. She jumps down from her couch, marching toward the door with anger in her steps. “Okay, whoever you are, I was in the middle of—” She cuts herself short, gaping the second she sees who’s standing on the other side of her apartment. “Oh, shit,” Pieck exclaims, “How do you—”

“Armin gave me your address.” Eren is strung out, that much Pieck can tell even from the first glance. But to her surprise, he’s polite enough to cast her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for coming uninvited. I just—I need to know if she’s here.”

“Umm…” Pieck spins her head around, conflicted between telling the truth or lying about it. From where they’re both standing, they can only hear murmurs of Porco’s gravelly voice as he speaks to you, but you’re both nowhere in sight, hidden behind the wall that separates the room. “She’s… She’s not here.”

Then your voice echoes through the room, shouting something along the line of, “Porco, the stew! Turn off the stove!”

Pieck winces. “Okay, so she’s here.”

“Is—is she okay?”

“A bit sad, probably still pissed at you. But other than that, she seems fine to me.”

“Oh… Well, that’s good.” Eren lets out a heavy breath, a mix between a sense of relief that sweeps over him, and anxiety. “Is it okay if I talk to her,” he says, a plea more than anything else. “Please?”

“I don’t think she wants to talk to you right now.” The look of hurt that immediately paints his face makes her feel sympathetic. Pieck understands why Eren did what he did, and everything he has done, it was all in good intentions. For him to chase after her like this… Pieck muses, she doesn’t know how lucky she is to have him, does she? “I’m sorry, Eren,” Pieck offers a condoling smile. “Just give her some time to herself right now, okay?”

Eren curls his fingers into tiny balls of fists. Though he’s still on edge, his viridian eyes are determined. “I won’t be long, I promise. I just need to see her.”

He’s just as stubborn as she is. Pieck sighs, but before she can say anything, Porco walks back into the living room. They exchange glances and with a nod of his head, Pieck gets the signal. She sends Eren a weak smile before she leaves the two men alone, joining you in the kitchen.

“Is he… here?” You hesitantly ask Pieck the second she steps back into the kitchen. You’re still dressed in your apron, your fingers sticky with oil. You clamped them together tightly, your nails turning white. Pieck nods, a weak and subtle gesture, but acts as a firm confirmation that yanks harshly on your heartstrings. “Oh, God…” You lean back, spine pressed against the edge of the counter. “Pieck, what am I gonna do? I don’t think I’m ready to see him.”

She can see you panicking, your face contorting in different emotions at once. “I know. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Porco’s trying to send him away right now.” She shifts closer, your shoulders grazing one another as she mirrors your posture. “He’s so worried about you, though. I don’t know him well enough but I can tell he’s freaking out.”

Every line hits harder than the first, and your heart hurts so much, you’re not sure if your eyes are watery from the pain or from the sadness that causes it. “I want to talk to him,” you say, your voice trembling. “But I don’t know how. Every time I think about him,” your voice cracks at the end, your tears threatening to spill. “I can’t help but think about her too. The picture, the way she had his arms around her—” You stop yourself short, knowing that if you continue, the rest of your sentence will come out in nothing but a choked sob. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

Stop it, you idiot, you berate yourself. You’ve cried enough over this. Don’t you dare cry again.

Pieck can almost witness the battle happening inside your mind. With sympathy written all over her face, she takes your hand. “Hey… It’s okay. You don’t have to hold it back. It will only hurt you more if you do.”

Why are you so weak? He came all the way here for you! He’s trying to fix things and you're just standing here, crying.

Face him.

Go face him right now!

With a sharp intake of breath, you discard your apron away and march back to the living room. You can hear Pieck shouting your name, asking you what you’re doing, and honestly? You don’t know. You’re still afraid to face him, but you know you’re going to hate yourself forever for being such a fucking coward if all you can do is run from your problem.

Eren’s eyes widen the second he sees you stepping into his line of vision. If Porco wasn’t on his way, you know he would’ve chased after you. “Baby,” he exhales in relief. “Oh, thank God, I’m glad you’re okay. I went to Armin’s place to look for you but he said—”

“Eren, I told you not to chase after me.”

He staggers on his feet, frozen by the coldness in your voice. His chest heaves up and down, his mind having a hard time trying to process the words he wants to say.

As you step closer, Porco gives you space, backing away but not leaving you two alone just yet. It provides you comfort, and a spark of bravery to speak more. “I’m gonna stay here for the night,” you tell him. “It’s already late. You can sleep at my place if you want. Your flat’s too far from here anyway.” And I don't want you to drive alone in this condition.

“It’s a misunderstanding.” Eren finally finds back his voice, but it’s tainted with jitter. “I never dated her. You have to trust me—”

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Okay…” He takes a step closer, his hand itching to hold yours. “It’s all right if you don’t want to talk, but let’s—let’s go home.”

You’ve tried your best to avoid his gaze but when his plea escapes him, you can’t stop your eyes from drifting back to his and it’s a mistake.

Has he ever looked this frightened before? This anxious? You wonder, a moment before you realize that this is not just a fight to him. You’re dragging him back to his past—to the night when his mother left him frozen on his porch, his cheek bruised but not as torn as his heart. You remind him of the trauma of losing someone important in his life, of being abandoned without giving him a chance to explain. You’re giving him the same treatment as his mother did, when you swore that you would never do that to him. That you would stay with him, forever and always.

Please don’t look at me like that… I’m not leaving you, Eren…

But “We’ll talk soon,” is everything you could say. Even then, your voice shatters and you can hear it. Must be because of the tears that are threatening to fall once again, but you don’t let them. You have to act strong. Right now, you just have to. “I promise you we’ll talk.” You offer him a smile, so weak, it’s almost nonexistent. “But not right now. Can you please leave?”

Porco sees the way you’re clutching hard against the hem of your dress, and he takes it as a sign. “Maybe you should go,” he tells you, and you nod, making your leave before the situation gets worse.

“No, wait—” Eren tries to take your hand to stop you, and Porco steps in, his grip around Eren’s wrist is hard enough to bruise. He stands on his way, his body blocking his path.

“Leave her alone,” Porco says, holding Eren’s hand mid-air. “You heard what she said. Give her some time. If you want to fix this, go home.”

Eren stops his gaze from drilling holes into your back, shifting it to the way the other male is gripping tightly onto him. Almost instantly, the distress and the frustration that you leave him with morphs into agitation. Eren harshly retracts his hand, teeth gritting when he says, “This is none of your business.”

“She’s my friend. Kinda makes it my business now.” Porco tilts up his chin, not intimidated in the slightest by the sight of Eren towering over him. “I think you’ve done enough today, Jaeger.”

“I still need to talk to her. She needs to understand that—”

“No, you need to understand,” Porco barks back, growing impatient. “She’s not upset because you fucked someone else. She’s upset because you did but you acted like you didn’t. See the difference?”

He’s right. Eren knows he’s right but it doesn’t diminish the fire within him. It only pours more gasoline into it. Eren bares his teeth, his hand reaching out to grab Porco by the collar. “You—”

“Eren!” Armin’s voice flits through his ear as he makes his way to where he’s standing. It stops him right at the moment before Eren can land a hand on the other male. “Oh my God, what—” Armin turns pale, shocked to see the tension spreading between the two men. Inhaling sharply, he clutches his hand around Eren’s wrist. “Let’s go. I can hear your voice from the hallway. You’re bothering other residents.”

Eren clenches his jaw, still swapping glares with the other male before he snatches his hand away from Armin’s hold. Without saying anything, Eren pivots on his heels, storming his way out.

“Sorry to bother you, Porco. I’ll take him from here.” Armin’s apologetic smile seems more like a wince than anything else. “Enjoy, uh, enjoy the rest of your night.” With a tiny bow of his head, he chases after Eren’s trail.

“Hey, Arlert.”

The said boy stops, whirling around. “Y-yes?”

“Next time you try to kiss a lady,” Porco scolds. “Ask for her permission first. You understand me?” Armin almost stops breathing. His face turns flushed, his thoughts scattered. As he tries to find his words, Porco demands harder, “Answer me.”

“Y-yes, I understand.” He almost cowers. “I’m…. sorry.”

“Have you apologized to her?”

“I have. M-multiple times.”

“Good.” Porco exhales, easing the tension. “Now, off you go. Try and get Eren to talk to you. He seems stressed out, maybe that would help take the load off his chest.”

Armin blinks, startled from the sudden change in his behavior. Not a minute ago, they were on each other’s throat, and now…

“You’re… actually a really nice person, aren’t you, Porco?”

“Oh my God, just go.”

***

The first thing Armin sees when he steps out of the building is Eren leaning his body halfway into his car, his hand rummaging inside his glove box. He’s jittery, body filled with tremors like an addict desperately need to find a release, which, in a matter of seconds, Armin would find out to be true.

Eren throws his stuff out one by one without care until he has his fingers curling around a tiny box of cigarettes and a lighter. He takes one with quivers running through his fingertips, hurriedly places it between his lips, and lights it on. He steps out of the car, leaning his back against the door, and draws smoke into his lungs.

When he exhales, it’s like he’s releasing half of the weight off his shoulders. The nicotine rush is a small high, light-headed pleasant hazy feeling. It doesn't last long, but it will suffice. For now.

“You okay?” Armin questions, watching the way the smoke swirls in the cold night air, a ghost dancing in the dark.

Eren can almost feel the panic that still bubbles inside his chest, almost turning into a string of anxiety attacks, one that he hasn’t had in a long time. He takes another puff, his cheeks hollowed as he sucks in. He holds the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds before he releases it. It burns his throat but it clears his head. Even if it only offers a tiny bit of clarity, it’s enough.

He can finally breathe, just a little.

“I haven’t smoked anything in months,” Eren reveals, his eyes empty as he watches the way the cigarette is resting between his fingers. The weight is almost unfamiliar after so long, might even feel a bit awkward. “This tastes like shit.”

Armin walks closer, leaning his back against a lamppost. “I wouldn’t know,” he replies, sticking his hands inside the pockets of his navy blue trench coat. His hair seems more golden under the light, but his irises are almost as dark as the night. “I’ve never smoked anything in my life before.”

“Good for you.” Yet, he takes another long, slow draw of the cigarette, leisurely blowing the smoke out of his mouth and nose. It’s like having his lungs wrapped in a warm blanket, only this time, Eren wishes it could burn everything away. So he doesn’t have to feel anymore. So he doesn’t have to be… afraid.

“Do you want to… talk about it?” Armin tries, hesitancy in his voice. He is certain the answer is no, but he decides to gamble anyway. “I’ve got two ears to listen if you want.”

Eren has been gazing at the starless sky as he smokes, but he slowly drags them back to Armin’s sapphire ones once he hears his offer. “Why would you want to do that?”

“‘Cause we’re friends.” It’s so natural the way he says it. Eren can’t sense anything but genuinity in it. “I don’t know if you still regard me as one, Eren, but you’ll always be my friend.”

“I’m a shitty person, Armin. You should find someone better.”

“No, you’re not,” the shorter male confirms, almost immediately. The firmness in his tone surprises them both and Armin tosses his gaze to his feet, recollecting his composure. “You’re not…” He repeats, fainter this time around. “You don’t know this, but… I look up to you, Eren. You’ve got everything I want to be. Strong-willed, talented, confident, and brave. I think I even… tried to be like you once,” he admits it bashfully. “I thought that if I resembled you in a way, even just for a little, then maybe… She’d look my way too…”

His cigarette lingers between his lips, his mind too distracted to take another puff. “That’s dumb,” Eren comments, taking another inhale. “Why would you change yourself for someone else?”

“But isn’t that what we do?” Armin lifts his face, peering into his eyes. “Isn’t that what you do? Trying to become a better version of you for her sake?”

The man turns pensive. The soft wind caresses his cheeks, making him sniffle from the cold. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve tried.” Eren drops his hand low, tapping the ashes off his cigarette. “I’ve tried to be better. I’ve tried my best to make her happy but in the end, I just keep hurting people around me. Just like how I always do.” Heaving a sigh, he throws his head back, resting it against the roof rail of his car as he closes his eyes. “It’s happening again and I don’t know what the fuck am I supposed to do right now.”

It’s the first time for Armin to see someone he admires looking so hopeless. What are they fighting about exactly? he ruminates, but he’s certain that Eren won’t say a word about it even if he asks. “Eren, she just needs some time to figure things out.”

“Yeah, but the more she thinks, the more she’s going to hate me for it.”

“She’s not going to hate you. She loves you.”

Both Armin’s sentence and intonation aimed to provide solace, but in Eren’s ears, they transform into a traumatic memory of his past—one that he dreads the most.

Of course, I love you, Eren. I’m your mother. No one in this world loves you more than me.

Get away from me! You make me sick!

Don’t ever come here again. I’m finally happy without you and Grisha in my life. I’m not going to let you ruin it, not again.

The cigarette slips off his fingers, a tiny spark of fire flickering once it meets the concrete. “What if…” He’s breathing heavily, his heart thrashing against his ribcages. “What if she leaves me too..?”

Eren is mumbling out the words, almost inaudible to Armin’s ears. “Eren?”

“What if she’ll never forgive me for this…” He’s speaking incoherently, murmuring the same words over and over. “What if she hates me…”

Don’t call me that. He hears your voice again. You’re making me feel sick!

Eren clutches a hand over his palpitating heart, his breath rasping in his heaving chest. She’s going to leave me like she did. The voices in his head are deafening. I’ll be alone again. I’ll be—

I don’t want to be alone.

Please don’t leave me alone.

“EREN!”

Like a hard punch to the gut, Eren is yanked back to reality with Armin’s fingers nearly cutting into the skin of his shoulders. He’s disoriented, the world revolves around him until it suddenly stops and the only thing that’s left spinning is his head.

Armin breathes out in relief. “Sorry for yelling,” he says, releasing his hold for him as he takes a step back. “I’ve been calling your name but… Seems like you just had a panic attack.”

A panic attack? No, not quite. “It’s just my anxiety acting up,” Eren states out, his voice sounding hoarse as if he’s been screaming for hours. “It tends to happen when I feel a bit… overwhelmed.”

Armin’s eyebrows are adjoined in the middle as he scrutinizes him, trying to catch every little sign his body gives. Eren was hyperventilating a moment ago, but it doesn’t seem like it’s getting worse. “Should we go see the doctor, just in case?”

“No…” His breathing is ragged, but the rope that’s tied tightly around his neck has started to loosen. “I just…” He lays one hand on the car, supporting himself as his knees threaten to collapse. “I just need to breathe…”

“Yeah, take a deep breath.” Armin looked like a ghost just a few seconds before, but now the colors have returned to his face. “Let’s get away from here. I’ll drive.”

Eren follows obediently, riding shotgun with cold sweat breaking on his temples. When was the last time he had an anxiety attack like that? He can’t remember but it used to occur quite often, especially when he was on tour, far away from where you were. It’s not something that suddenly comes without warning; it’s a result of stress that builds up over time until finally, it reaches a breaking point and his body gives up on him. Today is just another case of that.

His doctor has given him some pills but he never took them. Alcohol was the medication he consumed to make himself feel numb before the attack could happen. If it failed, he would try to think of you, think about how you’d smile at him between playful banters, think about how you'd call his name, how you always seemed so proud of him, how you always waited for his return. He’d think of you and he’d return. He’d think of you and he’d be safe. The ghosts from his past would never reach him when he had you in his mind.

But now… He thinks of you and he drowns.

Armin lets him sit still in silence, giving him a moment to sort out his feelings but what he doesn't know is, no amount of time would suffice to heal the wound in his heart, not until you come home to his arms again.

After a while, Armin breaks the silence. “I’m not good at giving advice,” he starts awkwardly. “And I’m not sure if you want to hear any of it right now, but… I think you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself, Eren. Couples, friends, even families—they fight all the time. It’s not the end of the world. You can fix this.”

Funny how he mentioned that. Because to Eren, it feels like the world is ending.

“We’ve never fought like this before,” the taller male speaks indistinctly. “We only argued over unimportant things, and we always made up within hours afterward.”

“So, this is your first real fight?” Eren doesn’t answer but he doesn’t have to. Armin gets the feeling that he understands him a little bit better now. Truthfully, he’s been feeling somewhat the same ever since he kissed you without permission. “Well, then, maybe this one just takes a little bit longer to fix,” he hurls a little smile at him, offering a glance before he fixes his gaze back on the road. “You’ll make up eventually, Eren, I’m sure of it.”

Eren doesn’t trust his words, but he won’t form a protest either.

“Instead of thinking too much about it, try and do things on your own for now,” Armin continues. “I don’t know what you’re fighting about but if you think you can solve even just a tiny bit of it on your own as you wait for her to calm down, then I think you should do that.” He slowly hits the brakes, waiting for the red light to turn green. “The most important thing right now is to not give up.”

Eren’s tongue lays heavy in his mouth as he speaks. “To not give up on what?”

“On her. On your relationship. On yourself.” Armin steps on the gas, one hand on the steering wheel, another one on the gear. “Fight back. If you think she’s going to leave you for this, then do everything you can to get her back. Be blunt, be loud, make sure she has no other choice but to place her attention back on you. You won’t change anything if you don’t try.”

Eren tears his gaze away from the window, watching Armin from the side. It’s the first time he’s ever heard him acting so solemn and he ponders, why would he go so far to convince me to be with her? “This could’ve been your chance.”

“Sorry?”

“To steal her away from me,” Eren clarifies and the pressure of his words almost causes him to hit the brakes abruptly.

Armin turns grim, taking a few seconds of silence to himself. His words hurt, there’s no denying it, but he won’t blame him. “I suppose I look like that kind of person to you now, seeing how I tried to make a move on her behind your back.” The coldness in his tone doesn’t match him and Eren wishes he could take his words back. “But I hope you can understand that I won’t do that to you, Eren.”

“Because we’re friends?”

“Because you love her more than I love her now.” Armin’s answer mystifies him. “And she loves you more than anything in the world. I won’t stand between you two. My only wish right now is for you to be with her. No, not just that. I want you to be happy together with her. I can’t give the happiness she deserves, but you can.” He exhales sharply, his jaw clenching. “And if it takes a hard punch on your face to make you stand again on your feet and do what you’re supposed to do to fix this, then I will stop this car right now and I’ll do that myself.”

Eren’s thick eyebrows are up and curved, horizontal wrinkles appear on his forehead as he’s stupefied for a good couple of seconds. “You’re… angry.”

“No,” Armin mutters, almost shoving his hand when he changes gears. “I’m frustrated with you.”

“Why?”

“Well, imagine seeing the love of your life falling for a coward who’s about to give up on his first fight.”

“I wasn’t going to give up.”

“Didn’t seem like that to me, Jaeger.”

He’s being so out of character that Eren can’t help but be distracted by it. Slowly, he finds the strength in himself to curve his lips upwards again. “You’re right.”

Armin scoffs loudly. “Of course, I’m right.”

“No, I was talking about how terrible you are at advising people,” Eren elaborates, a grin threatening to form. “That was such an embarrassing speech.”

“Jesus Chri—maybe I should just stop here and let you walk home instead.”

“It’s my car.”

He blushes, his nostrils flaring as he fumes. “Oh, be quiet.”

Eren keeps his smile to himself. He’s not fully recovered, not yet, and if he lets his thoughts drift back to the face you made when you told him to stay away from you, he knows he’ll react just like he did half an hour ago. But Armin’s words remind him of his purpose. He made a mistake but it’s not over yet. He can still fix this.

I can fix this.

***

Next Chapter

Tagging: @tasteless @l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @luvtaromilktea @didiyogo @xximthefoolxx-blog @coyloves @erenbean​ @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @jeagersruletheworld @sakurashell @indiecursor @the-princess-button @resonancesoul @link-avalon @blrqt @sukunasrealgf @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @missyasma @cknf69 @dazzlingnights @nothingtoseehereeee @fuckyourchickenstrips666 @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 thanks so much for reading ❤️

#eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren fluff #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren yeager x reader #aot smut #snk smut #eren yeager x reader smut #eren angst #eren jaeger fluff #eren x reader fluff #eren x reader angst #eren yeager fluff #eren x reader smut #eren x y/n #eren x reader #the last song canon

[theguildawards]

We're All Fired Up!!!

Hey everyone!

The Guild Awards are back for the first term of 2022! We hope everyone had a wonderful and healthy start to the new year. Thank you to everyone who participated last term to make it so successful! We look forward to all the new fanfiction and fanart to be nominated for this term.

Shout out to @rougescribe for creating last term's banners! If you haven't received yours, please reach out to one of the mods asap!

There will be changes that have been made over our brief hiatus that may effect you as nominators.

Due to low levels of participation, Best Canon and Best Canon Divergence will become one category for fanfiction. It will now be Best Canon, which will be defined as: If the story is set in Mashima's universe and keeps the character origins, events, and motivations for character development that he created, then it is canon. This can also include anything that walks outside of Mashima's original vision, but includes some key defining moments from the original canon universe. Anything that starts in the World created by Mashima and is taken to a different outcome.

We will be adding a new category to fanfiction labeled Best Comprehensive Fanfiction. This is defined as: Usually fits into the general type of fiction. Includes a piece that is not relationship-focused and does not have a main romantic pairing. Subtle relationship exchanges can be in the background, but the entirety of the work cannot be focused on romance.

There is also now a Winner Ban in place. This means that once any piece of artwork or fanfiction has won an award for a category, it automatically becomes ineligible and cannot be nominated again for that category. However, it can be nominated for other categories after three consecutive terms have passed (ie: one year since that piece won) as long as it fits within that definition. We currently do not have a rule against nominating an author/artist back into the category they won for in the past, as long as it is a different piece of work that is being nominated. 

If it wasn't mentioned above, chances are it hasn't changed. Please be aware that the moderator team always takes suggestions for categories and how the awards are run into consideration. You can read up on our FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories for the most up-to-date information (only available on desktop)

The Second Term Nomination Period will begin February 1st and ends February 28th. Please send in your nominations through the submit button. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to send in an ask or reach out to one of the mods!

Mods: @sassybratt9791 @rougescribe @phoenix-before-the-flame @ratretro @phoneboxfairy

Please reblog to spread the word of the new term!!

[Below the cut is the mobile-friendly FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories]

Frequently Asked Questions

What are The Guild Awards?

The Guild Awards is a place where amazing fanart and fanfiction in the Fairy Tail fandom is recognized, admired, and offered the chance to be nominated for an award! In addition, it also gives lesser known authors and artists an opportunity to have their work shared to a broader extent and receive the admiration and recognition they deserve!

How do I nominate?

You can send in a submission in one of our nomination formats. Your submission will not be posted and therefore remain anonymous, only to be seen by the moderators. You can send in multiple nominations in one submission, as long as the nomination formats are used for each nomination. Please select your fiction nominations carefully; spelling and grammar are important parts of being an author. Anything deemed unacceptable by the moderator team will be disqualified. Once nominations are complete, the mods will post the list of accepted nominations so you can read and view them before voting.

Can I nominate my own art/fiction?

You cannot nominate yourself. Doing so will result in the nomination not being accepted and a warning from the award moderators.

How long do I have to nominate?

You will have one month to send in your nominations. At the start of each period, the dates will be announced for when you can send in nominations.

Can I nominate anonymously?

No. This is due to the fact that no one is allowed to nominate their own work. Also, if a nomination is disqualified, the moderators will be reaching out to the person who nominated to allow them another opportunity to nominate.

How many fanfics/fanarts can I nominate?

Only one fiction or artwork can be chosen for each category per person. Meaning, a story or artwork can only be nominated by one person per category. Therefore, any secondary nominations will be disregarded and the duplicate nominator will be allowed to submit another story or artwork in its place.

What fanfiction/fanart is eligible to be nominated?

Please see Rules of Eligibility.

What is the nominating format for fanfics? For fanart?

Nominating format for fanfiction:

Category: (List the name of the category you’ve chosen) Nominated by: (List YOUR screen name) Rating: (The fiction’s rating) Title: (Title of the fiction) Author: (List the name of the person(s) who wrote the story) Website(s): (Add the link where the story can be seen) (For “Best In-Character” list the character’s name):

Nominating format for fanart:

Category: (List the name of the category you’ve chosen) Nominated by: (List YOUR screen name) Title: (Title of the artwork) Artist: (List the name of the person who drew the piece) Website(s): (Add the link where the story can be seen)

Can I nominate a fanart/fanfic that includes Original Characters or Crossover Characters?

Yes. For fanfics, 80% of the story needs to be focused on Fairy Tail characters and the development of the story. OC’s can be in a story, but the main focus needs to be on the Fairy Tail characters. Artwork can contain Non-FT characters where specified, but NO art may contain only OC’s or Non-FT characters (i.e. Artwork of “OC children” or “new wizard in the guild") are unacceptable without other genuine FT characters present in the piece)

I don’t want my fanart/fanfic nominated. Can I opt out? How?

Once a nomination has been approved by the moderators, the author/artist will be made aware of the nomination. Every author/artist retains the right to have their work removed from the nomination list and can opt out of future nominations.

How many terms are there?

There are three terms each year.

How long is each term?

Each term will be approximately 6 weeks long.

How long is the voting period?

The voting period will be 2 weeks long.

How do I vote?

Once the voting period begins, the moderators will post a link that will take you to the voting form. You must sign into Google in order to ensure each person is allowed one vote per category. Your votes and identity will remain anonymous.

When are the winners announced?

At the end of each term.

What happens if my fanfic/fanart wins? Do I need to do anything?

Please send this blog or one of the mods your preferred email address so we can send your award to you as soon as possible. Otherwise, kick back, relax, and enjoy the feeling of being recognized for your hard work!

I have a question that’s not listed.

Please feel free to send in an ask or a direct message to one of the mods and we will get back to you as soon as possible!

Rules of Eligibility

Fiction and Fanart published on any free site can be submitted for an award provided they meet all of the requirements of the nominations. These sites include, but are not limited to: Tumblr, Fanfiction.net, AO3, Deviantart, etc. If the validity of the site is uncertain, reach out to a moderator.

Multi-chapter fics must have been updated within the past 2 years of the nomination period. Fanart must have been created within the past 2 years of the nomination period. One-shots and drabbles must have been posted within the past 2 yearsof the nomination term.

If the work was posted onto several different locations, the earliest date and time stamp will be taken and checked against the current nomination period of eligibility. Stamps posted within reviews can be used to date a work and/or its chapters. Also, authors and artists will be contacted to verify timeframes if needed.

You cannot nominate yourself. Doing so will result in the nomination not being accepted and a warning from the award moderators.

You are only allowed to nominate one fanfic/fanart per category.

Each piece of Art or Fanfiction is allowed to be nominated into a maximum of two different categories per term. The nominations will be taken on a first come first serve basis, meaning that once a piece of Art or Fanfiction is nominated into two categories, it will not be allowed to be nominated into other categories, and each subsequent nomination will be rejected.

Each author/artist is allowed to be nominated twice per term. Meaning, an author/artist can only have a max of two of their creations be nominated per term. So be sure to pick your favorites carefully!

The work must be in compliance with the definition of the category into which it was nominated.

Both adult and non-adult fanfiction and artwork are acceptable for nominations.

Because of the nature of child-grooming and other potentially abusive traits, nominations of work that include a ship that pairs an older person with anyone who is canonically underage will not be accepted.

Categories

*Please keep in mind that these are subject to change pending participation and suggestions.There are 32 categories in all - 16 for Fanfiction and 16 for Fanart. Please adhere to each categories’ definition when nominating. If a nomination does not fit within the definition, it will be disqualified.

                          ☆Fanfiction Categories☆

- Best Action/Adventure Fiction

Action: “actual engagement in fighting an enemy; military or naval combat” Adventure: “participation in exciting undertakings, missions, or enterprises”

Does it make you sit on the edge of your seat? Do the characters battle adversity on a daily basis? Have the characters embarked on an epic quest?

- Best Alternate Universe/Reality Fiction

Anything that walks outside of Mashima’s vision. Anything that moves the characters outside of Mashima’s settings of Ishgar or the Alvarez Empire is AU/AR. Anything that changes the main characters beyond the basic core attributes Mashima granted them. Anything that includes a separate world and series of events.

- Best Canon Fiction

“The work of an author that have been accepted as authentic.“

If the story is set in Mashima’s universe and keeps the character origins, events, and motivations for character development that he created, then it is canon. This can also include anything that walks outside of Mashima’s original vision, but includes some key defining moments from the original canon universe. Anything that starts in the World created by Mashima and is taken to a different outcome.

- Best Angst Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish. An acute but nonspecific sense of anxiety or remorse.”

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and pit them against odds that create angst.

- Best Dark Fiction

Anything that brings the reader into a world of pain and suffering through abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or internal strife. If it includes graphic rape, murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the majority of the story in glum tones it can be considered a dark!fic. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

- Best Drama Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results.“

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and take the readers with them on a journey through the gambit of emotive expression.

- Best Humor/Parody Fiction

Did it make you laugh? Did it deliberately spoof the anime/manga?

- Best NSFW Fiction

Sexual content/smut with plot. Both oneshots and specific chapters from multi-chapter fics are accepted in this category. If coming from a multi-chapter fic, a link for that specific chapter is required. Must include content depicting an act of the sexual nature; i.e., sex, masturbation, heavy petting/touching, etc.

- Best Oneshot Fiction

Any fiction that spans the length of one chapter. This can also be a fiction that contains more than one chapter provided that each one was posted at the same time and specifically deemed a “oneshot” by the author.

- Best Character Portrayal

A fic in which the author has created an in-depth characterization that, while it may diverge from Mashima’s vision for them, managed to attract the reader. *Nomination must include the specific character*

- Best Romance Fiction

“Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love”

Stories that have developed a believable romance between two male/female characters. “Believable” is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their “Best”.

- Best Romantic LGBTQ+ Fiction

Stories that have developed a believable romance between two or more characters. “Believable” is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their “Best”. This excludes male/female pairings.

- Best Comprehensive Fiction

Usually fits into the general type of fiction. Includes a piece that is not relationship-focused and does not have a main romantic pairing. Subtle relationship exchanges can be in the background, but the entirety of the work cannot be focused on romance.

- Best Serial Fiction

A collection of drabbles or oneshots or a combination of both that makes up one larger story.

- Best Ficlet

For drabbles and poetry - of any genre or pairing - consisting of 1,000 words or less.

- Best Completed Fiction

A story with multiple chapters that will no longer be updated and should be listed as ‘complete’.

                       ✻Fanart Categories✻

- Best Action/Adventure Artwork

Any fanart depicting adventures, engagement in fighting an enemy, or battles.

- Best Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Artwork

Any fanart depicting the characters in an alternate reality or universe setting that walks outside of Mashima’s vision.

- Best Canon Artwork

Any art featuring the characters in a canon setting.

- Best Angst Artwork

Any art depicting a scene having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish.

- Best Dark Artwork

Any art that brings the viewer into a world of pain and suffering through the abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or an internal strife. It can include graphic murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the piece in glum tones. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

- Best Humor/Parody Artwork

Any artwork which evokes a feeling of amusement in the viewer.

- Best Kiss Artwork

Any artwork depicting a kiss between two romantic characters.

- Best Romance Artwork

Any romantic depiction of a male/female pairing of Fairy Tail.

- Best Romantic LGBTQ+ Artwork

Any romantic depiction of two or more characters of Fairy Tail. This excludes male/female pairings.

- Best NSFW Artwork

Any artwork portraying the characters of Fairy Tail engaged in a sex scene or a scene hinting at a sexual relationship. Can be one character, a pairing, or multiple characters.

- Best Character Artwork

Any artwork that is a ‘still life’ of one character. It may be bust only, bust and torso, or full body. The portrait should seem more ‘professional’ than a snapshot in its form and presentation, and should successfully convey a sense of the character’s canon personality to the viewer.

- Best Duo/Pairing Artwork

Any art that features two characters; be it a comic doujinshi, painting, drawing, sketch, etc. If other characters are included in the picture it is only allowed as a background. The focus MUST be on the pairing. The art can reflect either a platonic relationship or a romantic relationship between the two characters.

- Best Group Depiction Artwork

This artwork must feature 3 or more of the Fairy Tail characters to be eligible.

- Best Manga Coloring

Any panel taken from Fairy Tail manga and colored by the artist.

- Best Redraw Artwork

Any art that is a redraw of a scene from the manga or anime.

- Best Overall Artwork

The quality, time, thought, and emotion that went into this piece is what would make it worthy of this nomination. Please take note: The general idea is not the “best of what’s nominated” or “best of show.” It is a category created specifically for art appreciation. That means that even if the characters are OOC, AU, or not drawn in anime style, etc., the ART itself is worthy of praise.

#theguildawards #tgat12022 #tga nominations

[mimi-cee-hq]

Wildfires - Atsumu x f!reader

Summary: You're burned from last year's rumours, now fearing any hint of smoke. Yet you can't help, but fall for the childhood friend who's a balm to your wounds.

Genres, tropes, etc: angst with a satisfying and happy ending, angst to fluff, hurt/ comfort, exs to lovers (but not the usual kind), secret dating, drama and romance, but it's still somehow cute because that's just how I write lol

Warnings: false rumours about cheating and an illicit relationship, so it still technically mentions those things.

Words: 1.9k

Author's Notes: Hi Lia (@chimielie)! I'm your ☀️ anon. 🥰 You suggested exs to lovers and hurt/comfort for this prompt and it still technically is those things, but it's probably not what you expected.

If anyone is new to my blog and doesn't want to read angst, here's a cute fluff Atsumu x reader instead. :)

This fic is for the Heatwave Fic Exchange (@heatwave2021). Thank you for hosting this!

~*~*~

"I hadn't realized you two were still together."

Not even the overworked fan's whirring can drown out the strained silence that follows.

"We're not."

The air is dry and sweat forms on your brow. With the sun beating down, it's the perfect combination for a wildfire.

Atsumu's chin sits on his fist as he avoids your gaze. Lowering your eyes, you stare at the wooden table.

"Did he still care?" you ask yourself.

~*~*~

Plaid skirts sway as two students peek into their new classroom, attempting to be discreet. You hear their whispers from a distance, waiting in front of your own classroom.

"Look! We get Kinjou-sensei this year!" one exclaims.

"Are you serious?" the other asks after letting out a gasp. "I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I might end up staring at his face all day."

"Maybe it'll help you pay attention," her friend snickers.

You clench your jaw as heat rises in your body. They're able to indulge in frivolous remarks, ignorant of how you're left scarred from one fleeting gesture, a tiny piece of kindling that ignited into uncontrollable flames.

Cool hands cover your ears from behind you. Your jaw relaxes and the tension dissipates from your shoulders. You turn around to see Atsumu wearing a scowl on his lips. Sighing as you cross your arms, you ask, "Atsumu, what are you doing?"

"Well if only there was a way to make 'em shut up," he replies with a sharp tone.

You lean away from him and swat his hands back. "You're too close," you tell him.

"Alright!" he says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll go!"

As he walks away, he crosses his thumb and index finger behind his back, forming a little heart. You smirk at his hidden gesture to you.

"I love you too, Atsumu," you silently tell him as a smile graces your lips. However, it vanishes like the mist in the sun when yet another person calls after him, someone he doesn't know.

You skirt around the other students, avoiding their path, and rush to your desk. There are too many dry leaves around; a single spark can burst everything into flames.

Why does everyone have to know Atsumu?

~*~*~

"I wish you could've been my partner for the project," you say.

Atsumu pours a glass of water and places it on the table in front of you. "You ended up with that new girl, right?" he mentions and you reply with a nod. "She should be safe to work with."

You're startled once again when you hear the chimes from the front door. A rattan room divider obstructs your view of it, but you hunch down anyway as you finally pick up your spoon.

Atsumu sits across from you, sharing something about his team. His eyes dim when he realizes you haven't been listening.

"This isn't working," he tells you. "I thought this restaurant would be better because people can't see us from here." He runs his fingers in his hair, a sign he's frustrated.

"I– I forgot people can still hear us," you say in a low voice.

Atsumu sighs. "Let's just watch a movie at my house," he says. "Osamu already knows anyway."

"You know we can't," you protest. "Not when Hana and Haku drop by so often. They're going to realize we're together."

"But how are we supposed to have any fun when you're so scared?"

"I–" You lower your gaze, eyes unfocused towards your untouched bowl of rice. "Sorry, Atsumu."

"It's not your fault," he reminds you yet again. This exchange has become all too familiar. "Maybe we should finally tell Hana and Haku what happened to you."

"And have them find out the guy in the rumours is their beloved brother?" You cross your arms over your chest and rub your hand on your sleeve. "I still want to be comfortable around them, Atsumu. Ignorance is bliss right?"

His mouth twists before a groan escapes from it. He slouches in his seat and stares at the food in front of you, which remains the way the waitress left it.

"Let's take the train to Tokyo next time," he mutters. "Nobody'll know us there."

Your eyes grow before looking up at Atsumu. "What?" you slowly enunciate just above a whisper. "Don't you know how expensive that is?"

He presses his lips together before sharing his next suggestion. "I know where 'Samu's secret stash of money is…"

You narrow your eyes at him. "No, we're not stealing from him to go on a date, Atsumu."

"Alright," he says, lowering his eyes and dropping his shoulders.

Seeing his expression, you offer another idea. "How about Osaka?" It's only one city away.

Atsumu's eyes light up, excited at the chance of finally getting to enjoy some time with you. Although your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes, you hope leaving the vicinity of last year's wildfires would be enough, for Atsumu's sake and yours.

~*~*~

Your heart beats faster and your throat becomes dry. You weren't getting enough air.

"You're okay," you tell yourself. "She's not talking about you."

"Seriously! That happened at my old school," your project partner snickers as she recounts her story to you. "They even got the kiss on camera too! I felt so bad for her, but it's her own fault for cheating on him."

You begin to feel dizzy, catching a whiff of smoke from another victim's fire. Her words add fuel to a fire that cannot be stopped. Wildfires burn and burn, and are never satisfied until they run out of kindling.

"Oh! I've been meaning to ask. Are you dating Atsumu? The two of you seem really close!"

Your throat struggles to take control, attempting to keep your stomach down; it doesn't want to burn either.

They'll say you're cheating on Kinjou-sensei.

The tongue is a powerful weapon, causing destruction by those who are both untrained and ignorant as well as the truly malicious.

Your knees buckle as you pant for air, your grip weak on the knob. You need to get out.

Atsumu's figure is before you and you relax as he catches you. You never would have imagined that this guy would be your fleeting oasis.

~*~*~

"Let's break up," you tell Atsumu.

You both knew this was coming, yet a bucket of icy water chilled to the bone regardless of whether or not it was expected. Speaking those words aloud shocked you back into reality.

You hesitated dating each other in the first place, but you couldn't help but caress his strong hands when he admitted his feelings for you. Growing up together in your group of five, he was by your side from snotty noses to acne breakouts.

You didn't expect to fall for the hot-head of your bunch when rumours of you dating Kinjou-sensei spread. Atsumu attempted to extinguish every flame he spotted, witnessing your anguish each time you got burned.

"Maybe we can still do this," you say, contradicting your previous words.

"And what? Have ya pass out again every time someone asks about us?" Atsumu protests. He lowers his eyes as he clutches your hand. "Do ya know how worried I was about ya?"

Your heart flutters for a moment before you remind yourself that you can't keep him, the boy who has been by your side for so long.

"Aghhhhh! This is so stupid!!! Why are we suffering because of this made up crap?! 'Kinjou-sensei' had put a bandaid on me a thousand times more than he did t' ya! But nobody gives a crap about that!"

"I'm sorry Atsumu."

"Why the heck are ya sorry?!" he says, raising his voice.

"I– If I was just strong enough... If I could withstand their stupid words"–your lip trembles–"maybe I wouldn't have to choose between you and having some peace."

There's another silence between the two of you. Your fingers are loosely intertwined together, barely holding the fragile string between the two of you, as if it were a wick that would combust and disappear in a split second.

"Maybe we should just run away," Atsumu mumbles aloud.

"What?"

"Ya know, transfer schools. Or even drop out if we need ta."

"Atsumu! You can't! We can't! You have volleyball! And I... this is the only school that gave me a scholarship."

"Agh! Why is this so frustrating?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, ya idiot! Ya did nothing wrong!" He presses and rubs his forehead with the heel of his palm. "I just… I wish I could do more for ya." His arm drops at his side. "I wish I didn't feel so useless."

Your tears drip down your face. Could they be counted any more? If only you didn't fear getting caught dating Atsumu, terrified that last year's fires would morph into a raging beast. But another wildfire would not only destroy you but also the man you loved. If only your sores healed by now, you could have shown off your boyfriend, disregarding any of the flames.

If only you were fireproof.

But you weren't and now you're forced to loosen your grip on Atsumu, the balm to your wounds, and let him fall out of your hands.

~*~*~

"I hadn't realized you two were still together."

Not even the overworked fan's whirring can drown out the strained silence that follows.

"We're not."

It was three years since you talked to Atsumu, four since rumours first raged through the school. The two of you went through cycles of getting back together and breaking up again every time you learned that fear was still crippling you. Cutting off contact was the less painful option.

Years later, you're at a friend's cottage and Atsumu comes along without knowing you're here as well. Now that high school has come and gone, the smoke has dissipated and the fires have finished their course. You can finally breathe.

But does Atsumu still want you?

To anyone else, Atsumu is bored out of his mind, resting his chin on his fist. Nobody sees his thumb and finger forming a tiny heart.

Your heart flutters and you blink back tears. You attempt to hold back your growing grin, but you have no reason to hide it anymore.

You wrap your arms around him, almost causing him to topple off of his chair, Atsumu letting out a yelp. "What the heck are ya doing?"

You can finally release your feelings for him, openly and freely. The dam opens and waters rush to engulf him before you settle into his embrace.

"I love you too Atsumu," you tell him without a care in the world.

Osamu tells you he changed when you cut off contact. He desired to be a man, not wanting to feel so powerless, and poured himself into things he could do. It paid off.

"Did ya want to go somewhere together? I could even take ya all the way t' Rome if ya want."

The two of you hold each others' hands as the ocean's edge cools your feet. You lean against his shoulder, cherishing the moment that at one point seemed like an inaccessible dream.

You give him a peck on the cheek and smile. "Tokyo seems like a nice place for a date for now."

~*~*~

I hope you enjoyed this fic. :) (And I hope you liked it Lia!!) I guess I can be poetic if I try. lol. I had a whole commentary written out for this fic, but I decided against posting it here and making my author's notes as long as the fic itself. 😂

If you enjoyed this fic, I don't really have any similar pieces of writing at the moment. The only one that's similar is the hurt/comfort Kunimi WIP I've put off writing for so long because I didn't think I could pull off this type of fic. (And also because I think only one person will read it.) The theme in that one is pity/pride because pitiful is Kunimi's most hated word.

Anyway, if you want to see my usual style of writing, I have a cute tooth-rotting fluff Atsumu x reader one-shot. I currently also have an ongoing fake dating chaptered Suna fic, which is probably my best planned fic with the hints and foreshadowing and a nice mix of humour, fluff and shoujo-type angst. :)

I also have a Google form for my taglist if anyone is interested.

#miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu angst #atsumu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #miya atsumu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #atsumu fanfic #miya atsumu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #hihqnetwork #animehorizons #angelwalker’s virtues #atsumu scenarios

[wasabito]

➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

#bokuaka x reader #bokuto x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #keiji akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu smut

[bratz-kitten]

attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby. 

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it.  intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR. 

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone  mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed. 

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it. 

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists. 

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him. 

Mikasa Ackerman 

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger. 

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation. 

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined. 

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING 

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.  

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #levi ackerman #eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #armin #armin arlert #birth chart analysis #astrology

[smutbymia]

Would you write try to write a Johnny x reader x Mark where she's Johnny's girlfriend and he has nipple sucking kink? Something like she's asleep and starts to wake up when she felt someone suckling on her nipple and she's thought it was Johnny, so she let he keep suckling and rans her fingers into his hair for some time but when she opened her eyes, she saw Mark sucking on her nipples while Johnny is watching them?

For mark, there were a lot of positives and negatives when it came to being Johnny’s roommate. The best part about being Johnny’s roommate was the fact that his parents had gifted him the apartment and so rent was mere pennies in comparison to other places in the area. The worst part was that because the apartment was technically still Johnny’s, the dude had almost no boundaries.

Mark was used to it for the most part. He had walked in on many steamy make out sessions his roommate was in the middle of. He’d seen it all — almost. Kissing, groping, even some undressing. He’d usually just tip toe to his room and try to act like he never witnessed a thing but this time was a bit different. You and Johnny had been dating for a few months now and things seemed to be different with you.

You had all gone to school together and so Johnny seemed to be a bit more cautious about fooling around in Marks presence. And since you were a year older than Mark, he had always had a certain level of respect for you as his senior who had tutored him here and there throughout the years. Overall he approved. You were smart, kind, and so pretty that he would even get flustered around you sometimes. Johnny would often tease him about it after you left the apartment.

He was a bit shocked when you and Johnny had started dating but seeing you together made him realize that it was a combination that simply made sense. You and Johnny had always been friends and when romance started to blossom the both of you bravely fell into a relationship that was going well so far.

Mark was halfway out of the door one afternoon when he got a text from Jaemin telling him that class was cancelled and inviting him to come hang out at his dorm. Of course Mark would have loved to accept but truthfuly he was way behind with his schoolwork and so he declined politely and instead marched right back into his room, hoping to make good use of the rest of his afternoon and night by being productive.

A few hours later he heard you and Johnny arrive in the apartment. He had been meaning to come out and say hello since he first heard the familiar sound of keys shaking in the lock of their front door, but he was so caught up in his work after finally making a breakthrough with his studying. He shoved his headphones over his head and continued scribbling math formulas across the pages of his notebook, falling into a trance-like state.

When Mark finally snapped out of it about an hour had passed. He slipped his headphones off his head and was met with silence. He shrugged to himself figuring you had both left and headed out of his room. He could hear the faint sound of a movie playing on the living room television as he approached the kitchen. When he arrived, he was shocked at the scene playing out in front of him. A bowl of popcorn rested on the counter next to you. You were seated on top of the counter with Johnny standing between your legs.

Johnny had been his typical handsy self all evening but when you both went to get popcorn from the kitchen he had playfully lifted you up onto the counter and had pushed your shirt up to your chest to capture your nipples between his fingers before pulling one into his mouth and suckling. He swirled his tongue around the sensitive buds as he alternated between each one before settling on one after awhile and humming against your skin. Your head fell backwards against the cupboards and your eyes fell shut momentarily, enjoying the way his mouth felt all over your body.

Mark couldn’t believe his eyes. Sure, he knew Johnny had a thing for boobs and had seen him grope numerous different sets of them over the years on their living room couch but he had never seen his friend so consumed by a particular task the way he seemed to be consumed by the act of suckling your nipples. And your tits. Wow they were beautiful. The way you softly groaned whenever Johnny would stick his tongue out and —-

Shit! Shit, shit, shit. Your eyes fluttered open and met Marks. He seemed to be so caught up in the moment that it took him a moment to realize he looked just a tad creepy standing there and watching until he saw the expression on your face go from totally blissed out to totally panicked. Johnny was oblivious and reached up to massage at your free breast as he continued sucking, increasing the intensity of his mouth and pulling a loud moan from your lips. You swatted at his shoulder, and he released your nipple with a pop from his mouth as you frantically pulled down your shirt.

“N-noona, I — uh,” Mark stuttered. He backed out of the kitchen looking embarrassed and turning slightly red. Johnny turned to Mark at the sound of his voice.

“Oh,” he said nonchalantly when he realized why you had made him stop.

“S-sorry, I wasn’t — I mean I didn’t mean to.. I’m g-gonna go back to.. my..,” Mark said as he clumsily grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and all but ran back down the hall to his room before shutting the door behind him and resting his back against it.

“Fuck,” he sighed to himself. He was beating himself up for being so ridiculous. He shut his eyes, feeling exasperated. But of course the first thing that popped into his mind was the image of you with your legs spread and chest rising and falling as johnny massaged your breasts.

Mark groaned again before opening his eyes and shaking his head. He walked further into his room and froze when he caught his reflection in his floor length mirror. Luckily it wasn’t obvious, but he was certainly very aware of the bulge rising in his jeans.

“Aw, dang...” he complained as he reached down to palm himself through them. He rushed back to his door, opening it just a crack and listening intently. He could hear you and Johnny casually mumbling about the movie. He closed the door softly and flicked his lights off before crawling into his bed, feeling very ashamed of what he was about to do next.

You were seated in the living room trying to focus on the film but felt uneasy. You snuggled up to Johnny’s side before you tilting your head up to look at him. Johnny was watching the movie like it was the best thing he had ever seen. You watched as his eyes crinkled at the sides when something on screen made him laugh.

You nudged him. “Are you sure we shouldn’t check on him, I mean I feel really bad!” you said. Johnny was slightly caught off guard by the sudden statement.

“No it’s fine, trust me,” he said before diverting his attention back to the screen. A few minutes passed before you spoke again.

“But he looked so flustered. He was turning red almost. I think he must have been really uncomfortable!” you said with a look of concern on your face.

“Yeah I’m sure he was uncomfortable alright. He’s probably beating his dick as we speak,” Johnny joked as he put some popcorn into his mouth.

“Stop, Mark is a sweet kid—“ you began.

“Kid? You guys are barely even a year apart,” Johnny laughed before turning his head to you and pulling you in for a kiss.

“Still,” you began as you snuggled back into Johnny’s side, “I can’t stop thinking about it.” Something in Johnny’s brain clicked.

“Festinger’s theory of cognitive dissonance,” he exclaimed. You furrowed your brow in response. Johnny did this sometimes. He was a psychology major after all.

“Huh?” you mumbled.

“It’s a theory that explores the inner conflict people experience when their thoughts, beliefs, and actions aren’t in alignment with each other ,” Johnny muttered as he slid his hand under your shirt and along your skin. He squeezed softly at your chest before dragging his fingers back and forth across your nipples.

You moaned softly. “I’m not following,” you confessed, still unsure what the theory had to do with you wanting to apologize to Mark.

Johnny giggled as he tugged at your nipples and watched your back arch away from both him and the couch.

“You view Mark as some sort of kid in comparison to you,” he began. “Maybe it’s because he’s inexperienced, or quiet, or a bit awkward around you cause he thinks you’re pretty,” he continued as he played with your body like a toy. You moaned softly under his touch. The movie was long forgotten to you but Johnny still had his eyes fixed on the screen.

“You guys are closer in age than we are but you both act like you aren’t. And so, you’re experiencing inner conflict,” he finished.

“W-why would that make me feel conflicted?” you said through breathy moans.

“Before I can answer that question, you have to answer mine first,” he said, sprinkling kisses along your neck. You let out a soft groan in response, urging him to ask whatever it was that he wanted to. You weren’t ready for the next words that left his mouth.

“Did my baby enjoy it? Making another baby flustered?” he said in a low whisper.

You gasped as you felt electricity shoot through your body. Johnny laughed. He didn’t need an answer. He knew very well that something inside of you must have been unlocked.

If he wasn’t so confident and comfortable in your relationship he may have been a little jealous but hey, he was a psychology student after all. Human behaviour was very interesting to observe and he had a theory of his own he wanted to test.

Mark was fresh out of the shower and laying in bed when there was a knock at his door. You had already left the apartment but he still felt a bit weird about facing Johnny so Mark had stayed in his room.

“I ordered pizza!” Johnny yelled from behind the door. He didn’t wait for mark to respond before he walked off to go dig in.

Mark hesitated as he got up from his bed. He was starving, though. Which is what led him to that kitchen in the first place. The images flashed across Marks mind again. It would have been enough to turn him on all over again but he already came twice since he walked in on the both of you a few hours ago.

The first time was when he rushed back to his room. He sat up on his bed and shoved the corner of his pillow in his mouth to muffle his own moans as he jerked at his length over and over again with the image of your tits and blissed out expression in his mind. He sat there quietly, spilling all over himself and his bed sheets as his hips bucked uncontrollably in his dark room.

The second time was in the shower where he routinely jerked off. He finally felt empty enough after and much more clear headed.

He was feeling guilty as hell but that didn’t stop him from marching towards the smell of pizza. He figured It would be okay since you weren’t around. And it was at first.

“Y/n was totally freaked,” Johnny exclaimed, chuckling to himself. The two boys were watching some sort of basketball game on TV. Mark almost choked after hearing Johnny’s words.

“Shit, I wanted to apologize but I just—“ he started.

“She liked it,” Johnny interrupted. He glanced over at Mark, mischief in his eyes as he munched on a slice. Mark froze.

“Wait what?” he asked, baffled. Johnny broke out into laughter.

“H-hyung, stop teasing me. I already feel guilty,” Mark said. Johnny was still laughing when he dropped the remainder of his slice of pizza back into the box.

He dusted off his hands and rested one on Marks shoulder.

“Hyungs not teasing you,” he said, softly mocking Mark and speaking in the third person.

“She totally freaked because she liked it. Looks like the crush you have on my girlfriend isn’t one sided after all,” he said. Marks eyes went wide.

“D-dude? I’m really sorry I swear I didn’t mean to. I don’t want to come between you guys or anything I just-“ Mark started rambling apologetically.

“No offence but I don’t think you could steal her from me, even if you tried” Johnny joked before continuing, “but if you’re really sorry you’ll help me with something”.

“Something that I think you’ll have a lot of fun doing. Just be ready. I hope you aren’t a heavy sleeper,” he finished. Mark felt nervous. He had no idea what Johnny was getting at.

A few days had passed and Mark had succesfully avoided you. Whenever you were back at the apartment with Johnny, he was either in class or out with friends. Honestly, you were a bit nervous after everything that happened. Johnny had uncovered something that you had no idea was even a thought in your head. You felt a bit guilty but he seemed to take it really well. Almost too well.

Everything was normal between you two. You were staying the night like you often did when you felt the familiar feeling of Johnny playing with the hem of your shirt. You always wore loose clothing around him for this very reason. You were very used to him taking a nipple of yours into his mouth in the middle of the night whenever you were cuddled up next to him in bed.

Your eyes fluttered as you fumbled around with the shirt before feeling Johnny’s mouth meet your chest. He dropped a few kitten licks across your nipples, making your core heat up.

You groaned, roping your hands into his hair and pulling him against your breast, making him latch his entire mouth to your sensitive bud. You moaned softly.

“More... I need more,” you whined. You gripped tighter at his hair when you heard a high pitched mewl escape from the lips of whoever the fuck was attached to your chest because you knew straight away that wasn’t a sound that could ever leave Johnny’s mouth.

Your eyes flew open, first settling on Johnny’s figure at the end of your bed. He had his hand buried in his sweatpants and was stroking at his length with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. You gasped as you looked down to see Mark. His soft lips rubbed against your skin. His eyes sparkling eyes fluttered open and met yours as he moaned softly again.

“Noona, Johnny made me—“ he tried to say with his mouth still attached to your nipple. The humming of his voice made your head spin as it sent shockwaves through your body. You shook slightly before letting Marks name slip from your lips. The sound alone made him harden in his pants. Johnny got closer, until his mouth was latched against your other nipple and your head fell back against the pillows on his bed as both boys snuggled against you.

You felt tugging at your shorts. Johnny was trying to get them off. You lifted your hips in response as you felt him drag the material down to your thighs before giving up. Your panties followed and soon you could feel his fingers circle around you clit achingly slow, winding you up. You circled your hips to meet every movement of his hand as you felt wetness pool between your legs.

After a few minutes of painful teasing, you felt johnny release your nipple from his mouth and then Mark. The boys whispered between each other as Johnny continued to keep you distracted by making his fingers run through your folds, gathering your juices.

You watched as he lifted his fingers towards Marks lips. The boy hesitated briefly before letting his mouth fall open and wrapping his lips around Johnny’s fingers and sucking them clean.

You groaned as you watched the boys together, bonding over their desire to please you.

“Touch her,” Johnny mumbled as he slipped his fingers back out of marks mouth to continue circling at your clit. You felt marks fingers prod softly at your hole before he let them glide into your entrance, rubbing your insides in all the right places. It didn’t take long before both boys had overstimulated you. With Johnny’s fingers picking up speed on your clit, and marks fingers hitting your g-spot while the both of them assaulted your nipples, your orgasm came crashing through your body. Their names spilled from your mouth.

As you came down from your high, Johnny’s lips met yours in a passionate kiss. Mark was still suckling softly at your nipple, eyes closed, in a state of relaxation.

“Look at him,” Johnny whispered against your lips. “I think he’s falling asleep and he hasn’t even cum yet,” you said. You nudged mark awake as his eyes fluttered open.

“Mark, are you okay?” you asked sweetly. The boy looked up at you as if you were everything to him — with stars in his eyes. He nodded. Johnny pulled at his chin, guiding him until mark hovered in front of your face. He froze, somehow feeling nervous.

You bridged the gap quickly, pulling him towards you and capturing his mouth in a soft kiss. As expected, Mark was polite and respectful towards both you and Johnny. He relied on you to make the first move and control the pace. You begged for access to his mouth, letting your tongue softly brush against his as you felt him melt into your touch.

Johnny was asleep, mouth still on your nipple when you pulled away from Mark.

“Does he always fall asleep like that?” Mark asked in wonder as he looked down at his hyung resting so peacefully against your naked chest.

You nodded. Mark yawned and moved to get out of bed but you pulled him into you as well.

“Don’t leave,” you cooed. You watched him turn softer as he shrunk into your side, closing his eyes and going back to swirling his tongue around your nipple. You roped your fingers through his hair the way you knew he liked. He was definitely about to have the best sleep of his life.

#kinda short blurb here #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 smut #nct smut #nct127 #nct imagine #mark lee #johnny suh #nct johnny scenarios #nct johnny hard hours #nct johnny smut #mark lee fanfic #mark lee smut #mark lee fanfiction #johnny smut #superm smut #nct hard hours

[hanazou]

So um .. I just recently found your blog and even though you haven't written that much but you really have a unique writing style and I'm in love 🥺💞 .

So may I please request fyodor and/or sigma headcanons or scenario (whatever you're feeling comfortable with ) being on a date with their s/o and getting lost somewhere trying to find their way back home ? I mean it's just so adorable and been on my mind for a while.

And thank you 💚

𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭.

— how did you end up here? getting lost wasn't on the agenda.

Book : Fyodor | Sigma

Genre : Fluff with romance or implied romance

Category: Scenario

Word count : 0.8K | 1K

Bookshelves : Leatherbound

Note : I love this request! Thank you so, SO much for requesting Fyodor and Sigma! Truthfully these are far from being my best works, but I hope you enjoy this, love! It took me a while since I had to make sure these are in-character :") Thank you for the patience!

I hope you enjoy these! 💛

“This is quite the view,” Fyodor smiles to himself, fingers treading around his chin like creeping vines. “Yokohama has a sophistication to it after all.”

“Fyodor,” His name from your mouth rolls out slower compared to the cars on the road near you both to give the impression that your patience is unscathed. “We’re lost.”

Yokohama isn’t too huge of a prefecture for you and Fyodor to get lost in while exploring for the sake of the upcoming Cannibalism scheme, but since you both insist to check out even the smallest of details because one can never be too perfect, exploring took the whole day. Outlining the landmarks on a map would have sufficed, but you and Fyodor agreed that travelling in first-person is more helpful in discovering things that can trick the enemies, and that agreement led you travelling together.

It wasn’t hard for someone to get drunk in this cozy atmosphere and forget why they were here, especially if they’re with someone they trust and are fond of. For you, that person happens to be this pale and sickly genius.

The foreign building structures, the bustling unfamiliar crowd, the compact scent from street food vendors you've never tasted, and the crunch of dry leaves under your feet, they are all different from home, but the striking allure and exoticness are undeniable. Hence, you and Fyodor lost track of time and direction. Not to mention his needy eye for aesthetic slows down the pace.

You don’t want to say this aloud, but this atmosphere and mood, doesn’t it feel like going on a date?

Never mind that—you both were having too much fun brainstorming for ideas, too many alleys to check out, too many manholes to note, too many dead ends to utilize for you to recognize both of you have strayed off the planned route. On the bright side is, Fyodor found the ideal, secluded, dead-end alley for him to station his sniper to attack a certain detective, but the bad side is, while chatting with him about how and where to allocate your pawns, you and Fyodor didn’t pay attention to where you’re going.

Where in Yokohama are you now?

Neither of you planned to walk this far around the prefecture, so you can’t pinpoint your position on the map inside your pocket.

“I have great confidence in my memory,” Fyodor gazes around. “I can find our way back.”

“Then why are we still here after—” you look at your watch. “—half an hour?”

“I thought that while having the opportunity, we should take our time to know this area better. There’s artistry in any form of structure even in those we will decimate soon.” He pivots his head to you. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

He sounds like he’s beating around the bush. He won’t admit he got both of you lost.

You hum. “You still don’t know where we are,” You bring the focus back to your point. “Let me take my turn navigating our way back home,” You reach for the minimap in your pocket. “You’ve had your share of getting us lost.”

You wonder how in the world a prodigy like Fyodor affords to get lost. You consider the possibility of him being distracted by this little trip (that feels like a date) itself since you caught yourself doing that, but you shake off that thought. You ought to stop being delusional.

“As you wish,” He smiles at your proposal. “But only because you insist.”

You make wild guesses of your current position by observing the buildings and shops, try to figure out where you are on the map, and take the lead in guiding yourself and Fyodor back. He follows your headship without any protests, taking the same turn as you elegantly. 

You catch Fyodor also observing the map with you while he matches his legs in coordination with yours. His eyes turn to you and his raised dark brows ask you why you’re staring at him.

“Is it because you’re not confident I can take us back that you’re watching the map with such focus?” You bait, half smiling.

You want him to admit that he trusts you. It’s a pleasant feeling, hearing someone like him value your judgement.

He made a soft chortle from his chest. “Impossible, my dear,”  Fyodor says.

He stops in his tracks.

The sudden halt makes you pause too, and you lower the map to look at his whole face.

You jolt when he takes your hand with his icy pale fingers, guiding your palm to rest on his chest. His coolness mixing with your warmth creates a perfect state of equilibrium that mirrors both your difference yet similarity with him.

“I simply enjoy our mundane little detour.” His voice's vibration from his chest rumbles your hand. His smile is like cotton, but the sharp violet in his eyes holds power over you. “Allow my heartbeat to be the witness of honesty in my words.”

His heartbeat thumps in an orderly calming pattern, his chilly skin still sheathing your hand to press it against his chest.

Ah.

So maybe getting lost isn’t so bad after all.

Your eyebrows quirk when you notice the same scenery outside the car window, forehead matted against the cold glass. “Are you sure this is the right way?”

Sigma’s lips tense down, still staring at the road ahead. “Uhm, yes?” His eyes dart at you for one second.

The two of you, Sigma and yourself, are on your way to visit the last potential location for Sky Casino to expand its branch down below. He demonstrated more than enough faith in your judgement when he invited you to travel to the cities under the sky, offering you a ride in his lavish car. If it were with another person, you wouldn’t see too much into this situation. But with Sigma, it’s a whole different story.

It was the having a luncheon together in a prestigious restaurant of a five star resort with him ordering the best dish for you with a warm smile when he described your order to the waiter. Another being his gentlemanly mannerism, he made a shallow bow when allowing you into his car and opened the door for you, also holding your hand as you got in. The hospitality and elegance from his demeanour excites your heartbeat.

In Sky Casino, he may be your employer and you his employee, but with just the two of you, he makes you feel like the most treasured royalty.

Sigma clears his throat, his fist in front of his mouth while the other around the steering wheel. “I’m certain I’ve memorized every route for the casino’s potential branches.” He glances at the note on the dashboard where the addresses are.

You raise your eyebrows seeing a tower ahead. “And I’m certain we’ve passed that tower in front of us at least twice.”

The expression Sigma makes is made of mild surprise, frustration, and gloom.

"Let's face it," You slouch down your seat. "We're lost."

Sigma repeatedly looks from the scribbled map on the dashboard to the road back and forth, fingers squeezing the wheel in uneasiness. “I could’ve sworn we took the right turn this time…”

Your shoulders deflate at the expression Sigma makes. You feel bad for putting it bluntly. “How about I drive while asking for directions from the locals? You must be tired since we’ve been travelling for hours.”

His head turns swiftly at you, long dual-coloured hair whishing. “You know where we are?” He asks before quickly turning his sight back to the road, stealing glances.

“Not exactly, but I’m familiar with the local dialect and I can ask for directions easily.”

The hesitation and disappointment are still evident on Sigma’s face. You purse your lips, hesitant in how to phrase your next words. “Employers employ people to be assisted with the workload and to have someone to share concerns with. I’m not here just for you to treat me like royalty, I’m also here to assist you.”

Sigma huffs a smile, taking chances to look at your face now and then. “Do you mind the treatment for a royalty?”

“No.” You deny a little too fast. You clear your throat, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. “Absolutely not,” You speak slower. “But even royalties have to give back, right?”

He fails to hide his laughter. He sounds so free, unrestrained, and possibly the most relaxed that day, making your cheeks swell with a prideful smile. As long as he gets to laugh, you don't mind sounding silly. “By asking for directions while talking using a local dialect?” He asks.

Sigma lightly giggles. “Alright, you win.” He slows down the car, eyeing the rear mirror to make a quick stop at the side of the road. “I’m afraid to crash us from feeling exhausted anyways.”

He makes a parallel park and the car comes to a full stop, engine still smoothly running and vibrating the interior.

You ruffle his silky dual-coloured hair as smooth as the leather seat. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” You say, tinting his cheeks pink. “Allow me to treat you like royalty from now on.”

When you retract your hand, Sigma’s head automatically follows with the yearning to get more touch.

Your eyes enlarge and so does his. He whirls away, hands hiding his face. Loud and uncontrolled laughter erupts from your belly despite you covering your mouth to tone it down. You want to stop—but your chest keeps heaving out the joy, raising your shoulders to your ears.

Sigma shrinks in embarrassment, his long hair curtaining his face as he buries his head to his knees. He looks like a tulip in that driver’s seat. With his fair pale skin, even from your distance you can see the red on his face. “Please don’t tell anyone about it…” His voice can be barely distinguished from your untamed laugh.

“The secret’s safe with me.” You wipe a tear as your laughter slows down. You exhale a wide smile, unbuckling your seatbelt. “Alright, let’s switch now before the sun sets.”

“Wait!” Sigma springs out from his position and hurries his hand to land on yours before you open your door. You tilt your head, and he responds with “Don’t open the door yet.”

He dashes out and jogs to get to your side of the car. He opens your door and stands on the side with a shallow bow, his empty hand offered to you. You stifle a giggle when you accept his hand that gently helps you up until you fully stand outside.

You grin for the umpteenth time at Sigma’s chivalry that reminds you of the demonstration of romance during the regency era. It’s simple things like this that boosts your confidence and comfort around him. You can definitely get used to this.

That is until Sigma’s bow deepens so his lips kiss your hand.

You tense. You expected a normal escort when stepping out. The unforeseen princely kiss and his smile send you on haywire—why are you even there? Why did you go all this way into an unfamiliar city? Just to get kissed? To have him act like your Prince? Why is he even kissing you?

“Even without disembarking a journey I still get lost in your touch and laughter.” He straightens his body, elevating your hand to stay on his lips and chin. You feel his breath on your skin. “Thank you for giving me the honour of getting lost with you.”

Then you remember.

You're there to be with him.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

#fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor scenario #fyodor imagine #fyodor one shot #fyodor bsd #bsd fyodor #sigma bsd #bsd sigma #bsd sigma x reader #sigma bsd x reader #bsd sigma imagine #sigma bsd imagime #book checkout. #visitor. 3-am-depression. #bsd imagine #bsd fluff #fyodor fluff #bsd x reader #bsd scenario #bsd drabble #fyodor drabble #fyodor hc #fyodor hcs #fyodor headcanon #fyodor headcanons #bsd sigma hc

[dreamylyfe-x]

I’m kind of curious, what do you think of Ian and Trevor’s relationship? And that leading to him blowing up a van

Ahhh. Trevor. Yeah. I don’t think that was so great. 

First of all, it’s like two different relationships, really. You have season 7 when they’re meeting, getting together and falling apart... and then you have season 8 where they are... I don’t even know what. 

Season 7, I mostly think the show really didn’t have the time and space to tell the story of Ian getting involved with Trevor, but they decided to proceed anyway. Which, if they had wanted it to be an eight episode arc, would have been ok. But Trevor is around for 18 episodes. 

I mean, let’s lay this out. Trevor arrives in 7x04. 7x06 ends with Ian deciding he does in fact want to date him. 7x09 ends with Ian finding out Mickey’s back. Trevor and Ian are together for a hot second. And during that time, we don’t get to find out that much about him. Like we know he’s generous in a lot of ways, but also quick to anger. Kinda condescending. Kinda sweet. Mostly he’s all over the place. A lot of the time I struggle to find Trevor organic. When he gets mad, I’m always like “how did you get there, my dude?” and when he’s all moony I feel the same way. There are multiple scenes of Trevor and Ian laughing over something that go TOO LONG and feel a bit like old episodes of Murder, She Wrote, where they always had to have the show about violent death end on Jessica smiling. Then there’s stuff like Trevor telling off Frank. Trevor telling Fiona she’s a badass. It has a real Poochie vibe to me. But.... Trevor is not a Poochie. Trevor is a character who, if he had any chance of working, is about to get cut off at the knees. 

The show cannot be confused about what is going to happen in 7x10 when Mickey comes back. Not just to Ian, but to the audience. Storywise, we are going to be shown positive proof that Ian is still in love with Mickey. Not just a little bit, not lingering feelings, but try to leave your family and job and give all your money away in love with his ex. And even outside of what’s on the page, they’re like “Here. This is what is looks like when Cam has chemistry with someone. This is what the performances look like when there’s some complexity and history and subtext. Here’s a character with a strong voice and a well-established personality.” 

And now... Here’s Trevor. 

I’m sure Trevor had his fans. Like, I get it. I particularly get it if people just really like Elliot Fletcher. But the people behind this show aren’t idiots and they know how to craft a story. You can see it with Mickeys’ two-episode arc. They have to know you can’t have that story and have a viable Ian/Trevor romance in the same season. You gotta pick one. And they picked Mickey. 

AS THEY SHOULD. 

*ahem*

That brings us to season 8, which is even weirder on the Trevor tip than season 7. 

For most people, if you’ve been dating some guy and the second the ex showed up your boyfriend not only instantly falls back into bed with him, but then runs away with him for a few days and only comes back because of a bunch of considerations that have nothing to do with whether or not he’s in love with the guy...  that’s gonna be it. EVEN if his mother dies. The normal thing to do would be, in the words of Lip Gallagher, to fuck someone else. Like ANYONE else. He cheated weeks in. It’s done. 

So why the heck are they still hanging out together in season 8? Like from a story POV. What is the reason? 

My theory on the Ian front is detailed in my story Unsent and it’s basically this: Ian was desperate for comfort and Trevor must have been a person he thought he could get that from. He had gotten it from him (imperfectly, maybe) in the past. I DO NOT KNOW what Trevor wanted. I really don’t. I never got to know Trevor well enough. 

I’ll tell you want he didn’t want: What was best for Ian. 

And honestly, why should he? Ian is his ex. For good reason. Trevor does not need to be nice to him. Trevor doesn’t even really have to tell Ian to go away, though he almost certainly should have. It probably would have been kinder. But honestly, so much of what comes next only makes sense if you decide Trevor is low-key evil. He lets Ian pine (pretty normal level of ex-punishment), tells him he loves him (NOT POSSIBLE. I love Ian Gallagher too, sir, but that is NOT POSSIBLE. You were together for a minute and you are not that ridiculous) and then does this gross, dehumanizing weird thing involving men with bigger bodies. Lets/encourages Ian to prostitute himself to get money for the shelter. Yells at Ian over Geneva when a conversation might have been more appropriate/made more sense. And then, right as Ian starts to tip into really concerning behaviour, kiiiiiinda get back with him, sort of? And then vanish when it becomes extremely clear that he’s sick. 

But I don’t think the show intends for him to be evil. I’m not sure what the show intends him to be, but I suspect we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy. He almost functions like Harry in Dexter. Just the guy standing at Ian’s elbow and making comments on the action. He isn’t really being written like he’s separate from Ian. He’s there to provide some sort of stimulus to direct the action. But it’s hard to view Trevor as a character. 

I actually think Shameless has incredible skill to bring in characters for ten minutes and make them seem like rounded characters. I don’t think they get there with Trevor because I don’t think they ever really decided what they were doing with him. They didn’t entirely have room for the character on the canvas in season 7 and then they kind shoehorn him in to what comes next. I also think the issues with Trevor extend to Caleb, actually. They’re both strangely changeable. Sometimes encouraging and affectionate and sometimes cold, manipulative or bullying. I personally think that Caleb is the worse of the two, but neither of them are easy to root for. 

I’m not 100% I’m sure I am interpreting what you’re asking about the van correction. I certainly don’t attribute that to Trevor and I have much less frustration with him than I do with Ian’s family for not recognizing how many bright red flags there were. Certainly Trevor’s hesitancy seems to come a little late. But Trevor isn’t Ian’s boyfriend and he might consider himself Ian’s friend, but he’s also clearly got some serious feelings of wrongdoing where Ian is concerned. 

In Trevor’s defence, with the whole series finished, I think season 8 is certainly one of, if not THE weakest season. Trevor isn’t the only problem. But I don’t think he’s a very successful character for them. 

#asks #trevor #should I tag this anti-trevor? #ok #anti-trevor #I'm not so much an anti here as a confused person #shameless season 7 #shameless season 8 #Ian Gallagher #I skimmed a lot of Trevor scenes for this anon #so please feel loved! #and #thank you for asking!

[actual-fucking-clown]

I just heard that you're doing requests!!! I already love your content and fully agree that Natsuo Todoroki is King~!!! If I may bother to ask a request? Just all the hcs you want to write about Ice Man bc it's getting to June where I live, and I don't mind cooling down~

Tera, my beloved, I'm going to be honest I literally fucking screamed upon seeing this request!!! I’ve been reading your fics before I even had like an acc here, so we vibin :) Also after the day I’ve had I need some fucking Ice man in my life n hopefully doing this will help me write my way out of the writers block that has been plaguing me for months!!!!

Future Blue here to say I had up to like all done last night and then my internet ate shit and I lost everything after 5. smfh. Woulda been done last night but the loss of my writing got me fucked up lolololololol. N e way

Warnings: cursing obvi, uh like nsfw for a hc or 2, my unorganized hcs that really follow no succinct line of thought and might not even be actual hcs???????

So Natsuo, 

There is not a thing I wouldn’t do for this man, bc honestly after all the shit he’s put up with he deserves the world and then some. But I digress.

1. I think he’s a hesitant but attentive boyf. Like he seems like a genuinely friendly dude but I think it’d take him a while to properly warm up to someone enough to date them. And even then I think he might struggle to open up to his partner about anything like, emotionally. Not to say he’s entirely emotionally closed off or anything but somethings are just harder to trust people with. The main thing being his familial issues. And of course that’s were most of this stems from. 

Now for the attentive part. His family dynamic has set a precedent on what not to do in a relationship so he’s always hyper aware of the things he or his s/o does, trying his best to avoid making any of the mistakes his parents made. Of course if he finds the right person he’ll be surprised to find that having a non-toxic relationship can be less stressful than he thought. It’s like a huge weight was just lifted from his shoulders.

2. He’s fucking hella romantic. Like he’s shitty romance movie romantic. He’s out here trying his best n woof. Gimme gimme. On date nights he pulls out all the stops. Sometimes it’s a nice classic dinner date at a pretty nice restaurant downtown, or it’s a picnic in the park at noon, or it’s stargazing from the roof of his or his s/o’s dorm/apartment/house, or driving out to a beach just for a long walk at sunset, or road trips to nowhere in particular. I could go on, I really could but you get the gist.

3. He’s got shitty pickup lines for days. Whenever I say shitty I mean like “god I hate it but at the same time I love it” kinda shitty. But yeah he likes to see his s/o’s reaction to his stupid pickup lines, whether they get flustered, or die laughing, or groan and make a snide remark, he’s here for it. Shoot one back at him and he get’s so absolutely red. Mans wasn’t ready. Mans will never be ready.

4. This just came to me but let’s be honest a lot of us here, myself included, have some sort of fucking daddy kink and like, I get it obvi but in this situation never call this man daddy. I feel like for him that is an instant turn off. I’m sorry to everyone I’m letting down but sometimes daddy issues don’t lead to a daddy kink. 

5. But on the topic of kinks I think this man is pretty vanilla, he doesn’t scream “freak” to me, you know? Just normal amazing sex. Oh but he does enjoy hella praise both receiving and giving.

6. Hopping off that train of thought and onto another I think he kinda tries to keep his s/o as far away from his family as possible. He doesn’t hate them (when I say them you know i mean everyone except Enji bc he avoids that man like the plague and like keeping his s/o far far far away from that man was a given), no he just likes to have something so utterly untouched by his family issues. Mans needs a breath of fresh air.

-These next 2 I think will veer off from being hcs a bit and just like shit that I like to think about in general. Does that make sense? Who knows lololol. N e way. I like to think a lot about two aspects of this man, well 1 aspect of the man himself and one....dynamic? It’ll make sense in a few so just hear me out. 

7. Ok so like I saw this post somewhere eons and eons ago. It was long before current manga events, maybe around the time we’d just gotten Natsuo in the manga. My memory of this post is hazy at best so bear with me as I stumble over my thoughts. Obvi at this point in time we had little to nothing on this beautiful, beautiful man, so people were left to theorize. So this one post, was really that shitty meme where it’s like “small brain if you think such n such, bigger brain if this, n galaxy brain if this, etc., etc.” Where in essence it was like, “He probably has a weak ice quirk but what if some sort of ice based healing quirk or no quirk at all!” N i think about it a lot to this day. I don’t believe that either of those are true but I do think it is absolutely immaculate food for thought so uh do with that what you will.

8. I guess this is back on hc territory but Natsuo isn’t picky with who he dates, as long as you’re not an asshole he’s kinda set, good to go. Now most of the fics for him you’ll see are like “ay yo, you’re another college hoe or like you’re just a civilian” but like what would the dynamic be if he dated a hero?????? I don’t think he hates heroes but his father has definitely had an impact on his view of them. He’s not enamored with them like I guess the rest of the population is so what if hero s/o?????? Perhaps?????? Have I suddenly had a fic idea??????? I like the idea of Natsuo with a like super popular Pro hero s/o or with like a super lowkey underground hero idk this whole post has been me spitballing shit.

9. Back onto proper hcs, it’s a common one that mans runs cold and ugh pls yes. It is also June rn and while the past few days have been cool and sexy the weeks prior had been hellish and on top of that I despise summer so give me all of that. Mans is your personal ac, he’s not opposed to his s/o just spending a hellishly hot day laying on top of him as they watch garbage reality tv.

10. Can we talk love language? Physical touch. He just radiates that energy. Probably touch starved, obviously due to you know what. But yeah definitely a hard physical touch. (Which is actually my least favorite love language considering I’m quite ✨𝓣𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓾𝓵𝓼𝓮𝓭 ✨but hey I’m not here to project I’m just here to tell you what I see n therefore think) He likes to be touching his s/o like 24/7. Out in public shopping or some shit? Holding hands, linked pinkies, arm around the shoulders or waist. At home? Sheesh be ready to be smothered bb.

TLDR: What a man 🥵

I think I’ve gotten most if not all of my thoughts about our beloved ice man out. I hope you enjoyed my nonsensical ramblings :)

Have a good morning/afternoon/night!!!!!

#natsuo x reader #natsuo todoroki x reader #natsuo todoroki #mha xreader #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #BNHA Headcanons #mha headcanons #asks #god i hope at least some of this made sense #thanks for the request I had a fucking ball writing all this shit #:)

[moononastring]

Okay, but what about Eris and Iris on a motorcycle in like a modern au of Spirit Meets the Bones (which is great btw, I love it). But can you imagine Eris taking Iris for a ride on his motorcycle?!?

So I literally had to stop what I was doing to write this out because FUNNY ENOUGH, I was thinking about them in Modern AU form last night HAHA.

-

Like a true bad boy, Eris obviously has three different motorcycles ( and 4 different cars but who is counting?)

He is the COO of his father’s company and naturally, is filthy rich. Your typical fuck boy tbh. He’s hot and knows it. Has his MBA in Marketing and believes he’s God’s gift to the world.

Through her father, Iris ends up working for their company as one of their Engineer Designers (because she would absolutely have an IT background).

They just moved to the city and everything is still new and unknown to her.

She met Eris on her first day and he was predictably, a rude dick which resulted in her calling him out in an elevator full of people without realizing who he was in the company.

Iris gets a summons from the COO’s office and is terrified because “holy shit it’s my first day on the damn job what could I have possibly done wrong? My father is going to kill me.” 

Lo and behold, it’s the asshole from the elevator who turns out to be her boss’s boss’s boss.

Eris is just smirking at her from his chair and Iris is sitting rigidly in her seat.

“Are you going to fire me?” she demands.

He snorts and leans his elbows on his desk. “Bold of you to use that tone when I could end your career right here, right now.” 

But she’s way too interesting and pretty for him to do that. Eris likes a challenge, hasn’t been put in his place before, and honestly? He finds it super hot. But he’s also smart, he can’t date an employee, too big of a power imbalance. But he’s jumping the gun, she looks like she wants to murder him.

In typical Eris fashion, he tries to woo her outside of working hours but keeping it a secret from everyone (especially their fathers). 

Iris resists it because she isn’t sure if this is the kind of relationship she wants to have. She’s always been around men with power and men with power are usually pieces of shit but he’s attractive, goes out of his way to make things easier for her, and makes her feel seen and valued.

Eris makes sure to show her he means no harm while still managing to be a dickhead (it’s the spice of his personality🤌🏼). 

He goes out of his to be a very annoying friend first.

It takes about six months but Iris is finally open to going on a single date. One. No more.

They set up a church and state policy where work stays at work and their “relationship” isn’t brought up at work. 

On the first date, he arrives to pick her up on his motorcycle and Iris almost has a heart attack.

“I’ve never been on one of these.” she squeaks out.

“I got you, little gazelle,” he said and offered his extra helmet, the corner of his lips turned up. “I’ll take care of you.”

And he does. Eris makes it the smoothest ride possible while giving her a chance to view the new city she’s now living in.

When they finally reach their destination and Eris parks, Iris realizes just how much she likes having her arms wrapped around him. Especially when he takes off his helmet and looks over his shoulder at her with a smile. 

And oh. 

Oh no.

Her heart did a somersault. 

He senses her hesitation and slides off the motorcycle to gently pull off her helmet and fix her hair. “One date,” he says. “Forget about everything else for a while and let’s just have some fun. You can go back to hating me afterward.”

“I still hate you now.” she says quietly but she can’t keep her eyes off him, just as he can’t keep his eyes off her.

And Eris gives her a small smile. “You’re such a beautiful liar.”

So what I’m saying is: Modern AU, Workplace Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Guy is the biggest simp for the way his girl just breathes? Yup. 

#eris vanserra #eris x iris #acotar fanfics #spirit meets the bones #smtb asks #GAH thanks for this anon #'nonnie #asks