#where did my saturday go anyhow

[idleorbitals]

OF ep 2 watch through ...part 2

(part 1)

sand he was inviting both of you *so* explicitly what is your move here. sand will complain repeatedly about this into the next scene but no one asked him to cancel his date. baby is in denial

side note ray enjoying begging sand so much?? side note also this is how we find out ray blacked out and sand left him their last night together? ouch

ohhhkay the extensive flirting in the car. "one night stand boy, huh?" sand patently enjoying himself /so/ much but whining the whole way. they are both in trouble and neither of them know it yet but sand is going to find out really soon and ray is not going to find out until they both are in much more trouble

top has trauma-induced insomnia and he's serious enough about it to make this face. I'm still proud of mew for checking if he was trying to pull one on him and then being kind about it when it seemed like he wasn't

alright tho didn't we just establish that your much comfier bed is right over there? mew no one did this to you but yourself

I like these mockumentary cutscenes more than I thought I would. mew silently smirking as he checks off boxes is doing heavy narrative lifting and I'm into it

the foreboding music the lighting the lingering on the photo of ray and mew boston what are you planning?? is he about to become a real antagonist? can't decide how I feel about this

ray is sort of into sand insulting him? is this because he doesn't have the power to hurt him yet or masochistic kink

...ray baby no. you're gonna be Learning

sand brings up the /who are you, my dad?/ except this time it's /who am I, your dad?/ convo again and ray makes this face:

alright

alright

oh here we. fokking go

sand going "what am I supposed to be, your hooker" and ray saying "sure" and sand doing soft surprised pikachu for like ten seconds. ray doubling down and sand telling him to save it. instead of saying "I don't sleep with people for money" he says "I sleep with people I like for free" and we send silent thanks to screenwriters who understand the sex industry and have the cultural vocabulary to write compelling nuanced and still quippy conversations about sex. not to be heterophobic but queer people make better tv

anyway sandray are both playing a game and they both keep getting surprised to be one-upped. this is a very enjoyable dynamic to watch and they seem to be enjoying it too

...for now

at minute 8:30 sand's last vocal sound leaves his mouth. for thirty full seconds ray smokes and asks him leading flirty questions including "am I interesting enough for you?" and "are you open to someone like me?" and for thirty full seconds sand looks from rays right eye to his left eye and back again and lowers and raises his jaw infinitesimally and just generally:

this boy is done for and I can't even be mean about it I'm right there with him

anyway at shortly after minute 9 they break the tension and kiss each other. they kiss each other! ray is the one leaning around from his cigarette to do khaotung's little smoke plume of high art but sand is very much matching him in coming in for this kiss. I love this framing so much. firstkhao have the absolutely ideal dynamic to pull this off*

*if anyone saw that one person copy pasting SANDRAYYYY SWITCHHH into the live comment box the entire end credits that wasn't me but I was there with them in spirit

they break away and sand says if they go further they won't just be friends and ray says some kinds of friendship start from sex you watched the same thing I watched I don't need to describe it but here I am. do you remember though that this was the look ray was giving sand while he said that because ho boy

sand pronouncing that ray is going to keep wanting him but they're going to stay just friends right after he says we won't be just friends after this...what level to tackle this on. narratively this definitely feels like foreshadowing and I think he's right on the money on the first bit. but we know that sand is not going to get out of this remotely unscathed whether or not it could possibly be argued that he hasn't already lost that battle. sand showing his hand by contradicting himself out loud as well as internally?

they stub out their cigarettes Significantly and start making out again. can't coherently screencap this scene. it's so excellently done. top notch dynamic again. firstkhao are getting better at this with every go.

ok I do have one minor gripe

for some reason in the middle of sand pushing ray back onto the couch they have inserted a shot of ray on top of sand. it is from the beat that comes after the last little mockumentary cutscene—it's not a double, it's the exact same shot, just colored differently. screenshots below from 10:11 and 11:02

editing mistake? intentional insert to lengthen the scene? I like this shot too but it breaks up the flow of the scene oddly and I want it gone from the first part

mockumentary cutscene: even harder to focus on when I know what's coming back on screen right after but worth mention. obviously sand is reflecting on some past mistakes here. he knows he's playing with fire and he's denying it vocally and also not changing his behavior. self-awareness level relatable honestly. do we think he fell in love with someone he didn't want to? or fell in love freely and then got screwed over? why is he mr. one night stand boy

also don't know whether to credit ray or khaotung for this longest gayest look ever at his own pants. sublime

okay back to the couch for our not-quite-ten-second final indulgence. ray's on top this time. I don't even like sex scenes that much I know what I am saying

I see, like sand's, my words are not matching my actions. and yet

*trembling* sandray.... switch....

all ofts watch throughs

#ofts #only friends the series #ofts meta #firstkhaotung #raysand #sandray #that devolved a little #also it took me so long to finish i took two breaks and posted snippets forgive me #i'm overflowing with um. i don't even know #consider me truly fucked over by this show #where did my saturday go anyhow #ofts watch through

[eddiemunsonswhxre]

Heyy! So I adore Eddie Munson, right? As we all do, and I came up with this idea where the reader and him are just lay in the readers bedroom with the window open at like, 2:00am and all of a sudden Eddie just starts coming out with this bulls**t about “Why do you love me” and “I’m a monster”. Then maybe the reader is all like “well if your a monster, I suppose I’m the village sacrifice, given to the monster in the hopes of it sparing their town” or something along those lines and it gets really flirty and fluffy at the same time, maybe leading onto a little bit of smut?

Anyways, sorry if your not taking requests right now! I just thought this was kinda cool, anyhow I must depart for it’s nearly 4am and I have stuff to do as I’m sure you do to!

From, Elsie xx

oh did i take this idea and run with it...

beauty and the beast / eddie munson

one shot

rated: m (18+, minors DNI)

cw: self-hate, sad eddie, comfort, mentions of drug and alcohol use, soft sex, fingering, light nipple play, light breeding (?cumming inside?)

you were his beauty, and he always feared he wasn't the right beast.

--

the time on the clock read 1:57am as you were deeply into the book you were reading. you laid against your headboard, bathed in the soft light of your lamp as soft music played in the background. the window above your bed was open, allowing your room to accommodate a comfortable chill and allow the last remnants of your boyfriends blunt to fall into the night. your boyfriend, slightly stoned, laid on your bed next to you with his arm strewn across your thighs. his calloused fingers drew gentle designs into the skin of your thigh as he hummed along to the music coming from your record player. 

eddie laid shirtless, only in his pair of boxers underneath your warm, fuzzy blanket. and you wore only in a pair of short sleep shorts and one of eddie’s shirts you had stolen at one point. times like this were your favorites. laying around just doing nothing with the man you loved more than life was a more than perfect way to spend your saturday nights. all you felt with him was pure love, he was your everything. 

but, you and eddie were two very different people. you lived in a big house with your two parents, siblings, and a dog. eddie lived with his uncle in a trailer he was ashamed to take you to for the entire first month you were together. eddie had a problem of not believing he was good enough for you, even though he was the perfect boyfriend. he had many insecurities, and all though they broke your heart, the fact that he shared them with you made you love him that much more. 

while you were reading, eddie had a lot of time to think. and, as per usual, his mind drifted back to those dark places. places that convinced him he didn’t deserve to be right here with you. places that told him he was worthless. places that told him he was a monster. his thoughts became too much to keep to himself, so he let out a sigh. “baby?” he asked you quietly.

immediately you were able to identify the sadness, no, the brokenness in his voice. you closed your book, setting it on your bedside table and turning to give him your full undivided attention. “yes, darling?” you ask, smoothing his wild hair down with the palm of your hand. 

eddie almost wants to cry at your touch, feeling as though you’re too perfect for him to even be near. “why… baby, how can you love someone like me?” he mumbles insecurely, burying his face into the side of your thigh. 

you frown, stroking his face gently. “what do you mean someone like you, hun?” you whisper.

eddie shakes his head, nuzzling his nose into your skin as he hugs your legs tighter. “someone so… so… worthless,” he says in a defeated manner. you go to correct him, but he keeps going. “i don’t do anything worthwhile. i mean, i’ve done my senior year three times. i drink all the time in front of you and i shouldn’t, i got you smoking, i fucking deal drugs for money, and i can’t do anything right. people are scared of me, and- and i really don’t blame them. i’m a freak… a fucking monster. you deserve so much better than me,” he says, more and more sorrow filling his body as he speaks. 

eddie looks up at you panicked when you move his arm from around your legs. he thinks maybe you’ve finally realized he’s no good. but you scoot down on your bed, closer to him and cuddle under your blanket. you tangle your legs into his and rest your hand on the side of his face. “you’re wrong, eddie,” you say quietly, watching as he closes his eyes. “you’ve had trouble with school, yeah, but if you hadn’t we wouldn’t be here. i wouldn’t have someone so amazing in my life, let alone as my perfect boyfriend. i don’t care that you drink, you don’t over do it. i smoke with you because i want to, and i still deny it if i’m not feeling it. you do what you can to get your money, baby, that doesn’t make you a bad person. look at me,” you comfort him, stroking the apple of his cheek until he opens his eyes.

they’re glossy, and looking into them makes your heart clench in pain. “what do you always tell me when people start talking shit? huh? people don’t matter, eddie. they don’t matter because they’re not us. let them think whatever they want because i know you’re not a monster,” you explain. eddie shakes his head, biting his lip and looking away from you. “hey, no, i’m not done,” you grab his attention once more. “i love you, eddie. you are the best boyfriend in the world. you always know what to do, you always make me feel loved, and you always do what’s best for us. above everything, you love me and i love you. i don’t want anything else, baby. you’re not holding me back, if anything you make me want to do more. you’re perfect, darling. and i hate that your brain doesn’t let you see that all the time,” you say, tears welling in your own eyes as they begin to fall from his. 

you thumb away his tears waiting for him to say something. “you’re too perfect,” he mumbles, reaching up and grabbing your hand before bringing it to his lips and pressing kisses along your knuckles.

with a shake of your head you lean forward, pressing a kiss to his nose. “no, because you’re also perfect. we’re perfect for each other. what’s the name of that song you wrote about us?” you ask him with a squeeze of his hand even though you know damn well what the name of the song is. 

“soulmate,” he says shyly, stroking your knuckles and focusing on them instead of your face. 

you smile solemnly at him and use your intertwined hands to pull him closer. his eyes drag up to yours, lingering on your smile for a moment. “exactly, because that’s what we are. we’re meant to be together forever, i will never find anybody better for me than you,” you say seriously.

“what if i can’t give you the future that you want?” eddie asks insecurely. 

you lean forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “the only future i want is with you,” you whisper with raised eyebrows, as if daring him to challenge you. eddie gives you a sad smile, another group of tears falling from his eyes.

you wipe them away before pulling him into a longer, more passionate kiss. “i love you,” he mumbles into your lips.

with a smile, you mumble back, “i love you, too.” you thread your fingers into his long hair, letting out a small sigh into his mouth. eddie uses his hand on the side of your neck to keep your lips on his, drinking you in as if he was dying from dehydration. you two kiss until you have to pull apart in order to catch your breath, chests heaving. 

you place your hand on his chest, looking at him in pure admiration. “if you’re a monster, then i think we’re definitely in a beauty and the beast type of love,” you say with a fond smile. eddie chuckles at that, comforted by your attempt to lighten the mood.

“you definitely are my beauty,” he says in a love-drunk type way, stroking your jaw with his thumb. 

a smirk falls on your face, as an idea comes into your mind. “do you think the beast is good at sex?” you ask teasingly.

eddie raises his eyebrows at you, a knowing smile falling onto his face. “oh, i know he is,” he smiles, nudging your shoulder to make you lay flat on your back. “want to find out?” he questions, climbing on top of you and nestling himself between your legs you so kindly spread open for him.

you giggle, wrapping your hands around his neck and playing with his curls. “i definitely do,” you say, and eddie wastes no time diving down to attach your lips once more. this time, they clash with more need but with just as much if not more love seeping into it. eddie wastes no time letting his hand wander inside your shirt, caressing your body as if it were a delicate statue. 

his palm covers your breast, his fingers squeezing you in the most delightful way. you let out a moan into his mouth, arching your chest into his hand. eddie bites on your lower lip, asking for entrance which you don’t hesitate in granting. moments later his fingers begin pinching and twisting your nipple, sending a wave of arousal towards your core. “mm, eddie,” you hum into his mouth, tugging back on his hair making him groan. 

eddie separates your lips, pulling back and grabbing the sides of your (his) shirt and giving you a look as if to tell you to sit up. you do so, letting him take off the piece of clothing and let it drop onto the floor. even though he’s seen them millions of times, his hands go straight to your boobs as he plays with them. he pushes them around before pinching at both your nipples, causing you to let out a moan as your head falls back. “my pretty girl,” he says to you, massaging your tits before leaning down to reattach your lips. you hum, grabbing the sides of his face as he uses one hand to hold himself up and the other to play with your tits. 

you buck your hips up against his, desperate for some friction. eddie grunts into your mouth, biting down on your lip as he ruts into your heat. his tongue then continues mingling with yours as he begins a steady rhythm of grinding into you. you let out small gasps into his mouth when he hits your clit just right with his clothed member. his hand then falls from your breasts down to your small shorts. he teases the waistband for just a moment before detaching your lips to hook his fingers into them and your panties and pulling them off in one swift motion. you replace your legs on either side of him as he removes his own boxers and settles between you once more.

eddie this time attaches his lips to your jaw, placing kisses along it as his fingers fall down to your mound. two gather some arousal at your entrance and drag up to your clit, dancing in small circles. “oh, yes,” you moan, cradling eddie’s head as he begins sucking and biting at the tender skin where your neck and jaw meet. eddie smiles into your skin, always loving when he was able to make you feel good. 

he stops rubbing sweet circles at your clit and pushes his fingers down to your entrance. “ready?” he asks into your skin, moving to start leaving another love bite on you. you nod, tugging on his hair as you’re rolling your hips against his fingers. “desperate girl,” he laughs into you and then pushes his fingers in slowly. you whine lowly at the feeling as he sinks in to his knuckles.

“so good, eddie, so good,” you say in content, letting your head fall back as he begins thrusting his fingers into you. he smiles, moving back up to your lips as he finger fucks you. you let out small moans into his mouth as he changes between thrusting, curling his fingers, and scissoring them as he got you prepped and ready for him. the warm walls of your pussy welcomed eddie’s fingers as if they were home which they practically were. eddie loved the way your velvet walls felt against his fingers as he slowly worked more and more drips of arousal out of your gorgeous pussy. but, he loved the way you felt around his cock even more. 

he swallowed your moans, curling his fingers inside of you until he felt you were ready for him. but, you were getting needy and wanted him to finally get something good too. “baby?” you moan in question.

“mhm?” he hums, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before pulling away. 

you shiver as his fingers brush your sweet spot, but you didn’t want to cum this way. “i’m ready, need you inside me now,” you say, brushing his hair back so you can once again hold his beautiful face. 

eddie smiles, removing his fingers and using the slick on them to stroke his cock a few times. “you sure, baby?” he asks, waiting for an extra confirmation. you nod, reaching down to grab his hand that was holding his hard dick. “anything for my princess,” he says, leaning down to kiss your forehead before guiding his head through your folds. you assist him in pressing his tip into your waiting hole and the both of you let out short moans. eddie slowly sinks into you, letting you adjust to him before leaning over you and pushing all the way in.

“fuck,” you murmur, reaching around and holding his back. you tap his shoulder, giving him the go ahead to start thrusting and he begins withdrawing his hips from yours. he starts with small, shallow thrusts as he takes in the feeling that he’d never get tired of. your pussy clenching around him, sucking him back in and keeping him warm as he made you both feel so good. 

you hooked your ankles around his ass, pulling him closer to you as he dipped his head down into your neck. “feel so good, pretty baby,” he groans into your neck, peppering kisses. 

“mm, harder,” you moan, eyes closing in pleasure. eddie complies, pulling his hips further, leaving it so only his tip was left inside you before snapping them back forward and slamming into you. he lets out a shudder at the feeling as your nails dig into his back. he repeats this, reveling in the feeling of you spasming around him. 

your heels dig into his ass slightly, signaling him to pick up his pace. “getting close, already, babygirl?” he asks through breaths, beginning to fuck you at a steady pace.

you whimper, grasping his back as his cock hits deeply inside of you. “want to,” you moan in his ear. he grumbles, snapping his hips in particularly harshly before returning to his pace. he felt the pull begin in his naval, causing him to groan. 

“feel so perfect, so good for me, made for me,” he mutters in your ear, picking up the pace of his hips. you twitch in reaction to his words, heat further flooding your core as the knot in your stomach began to tighten.

you cling to him as your life depends on it, living for this calmer than normal sex you were having. this wasn’t sex, no, this was making love. and you couldn’t help but crave it. “my boy, my perfect boy, fuck you fuck so good,” you whine, moving one hand to tangle in his curls. eddie groans at your praise, moving his weight to one arm so he can move a hand to your clit. you gasp at the contact and thrust down onto eddie’s cock.

eddie moves his fingers at the same speed of his thrusts, feeling his high approaching quickly. “you getting close baby? want you to cum- fuckkk, want us to cum together,” eddie moans, feeling you clench around him. 

your head is thrown back into your pillow, whole body rocking with his thrusts as his fingers assault your clit. “m’close, baby, want you to cum in me,” you say to him.

eddie moans at your words. “you sure, darling? i can cum in you?” he asks for reassurance, his hips picking up speed as he drives his cock as deep as it will go. 

“shit, yes, i’m close,” you cry out, your nails digging into his shoulder blade, hand wound tightly in his curls, and legs holding him impossibly close to you. 

eddie grunts, chasing his own high, the pull in his naval becoming more and more prominent. “almost there baby, almost there,” he says, closing his eyes and letting the feelings take him over. you mewl as your legs begin shaking, signaling you were close. eddie moans, his breath hot against your skin as his cock twitches. “you gonna cum? c’mon baby, i’m right there,” he grunts desperately, knowing he was about to tip over the edge. he presses down on your clit more as you cry out.

your pussy pulses as you feel the brink of your orgasm hit you. “yes! i’m cumming, shit,” you cry, eyes rolling back into your head. your back arches off the bed, pressing your chest to eddie’s as your legs tremble, pussy clenching and unclenching around his cock as waves of white hot heat flood your body.

simultaneously, eddie’s hips falter, his cock spurting out his first string of cum deep inside you. he ruts into your clenching pussy helplessly as you milk him, more and more of his cum filling you up as the arm holding him up begins shaking. his mouth is fallen open, a string of low moans leaving his mouth as they mingle in the air with your high pitched whines. “fuck, i love you, y/n,” he grunts, as he rides through the end of his high.

“i- oh, i love you, eddie,” you whimper, whole body shaking as the last waves of your orgasm roll through you. the two of you fall limp, panting and touching each other everywhere possible as you try to regain yourself. 

eddie winces as he finally pulls out of you, you feeling his cum seep out causing you to shut your eyes in pleasure. eddie brings his mouth to yours, catching your lips in a kiss much softer than those previous. “mm, just as i thought, amazing at sex,” you say as he pulls away, running your hand through his now frizzy hair. eddie smiles at you confidently, pressing one more kiss to your lips. 

“come on, my princess, time to go clean up,” he says, patting the side of your thigh before getting up. he helps you stand, your legs feeling like jello from the sex you just had, and holds you up as you both walk to your en suite. you used the bathroom and both you and eddie freshen up with the help of some rags and then make your way back into your bed.

eddie tucks you into his chest after you flick off your lamp and you sigh contently. “i love you, so, so much, eddie,” you say, looking up at him. 

“and i love you so much more,” he whispers, brushing your hair from your eyes. you cuddle into him, closing your eyes and letting sleep take over you. eddie does the same, after taking a few extra minutes to appreciate just how much he cares about you. 

#stranger things eddie #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things 4 #munson #stranger things smut

[queerkatatonia]

the absolute chokehold this game has on me (not a new development) is not okay. I wake up at 7 on a Saturday and my one of my first ideas is "hm, lets play more Sky" as if it wasn't the last thing I'd been doing before bed as well.

the goals today were taking pictures and going through Eden, and I mean I did both of those by 10. sometimes I forget how pretty this game is and then I get a particularly nice cutscene?? and im like wow??

more hours later and well- we're basically back where we started this morning in terms of progress and someone is ready to go through Eden again as soon as it resets? but anyway I have silly pictures and thats the real point here

using the camera is not something I'm particularly used to doing so unless there's a moment where we're not going anywhere and I think "oh thats cute" I tend to not take any? or take screenshots at most? but we get a hehe anyhow

#sky children of the light #sky cotl #skyblr #sky #that sky game #skykid

[cookiesandbiscuits]

Obey Me! Demon Bros React to a GN!MC Who is A Popular Comic/Manga Artist

A/N: Ayo! This is my first time making a headcanon so you could tell that I'm quite nervous about this. Idk if someone had already made this hc but it's stuck in my head that I can't focus on other stuff. Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

Summary: How would the demon bros react if they discovered that MC is a popular comic/manga artist in the human world.

Genre: Fluff

Warning: I got too eager to make this and it got a bit lengthy (esp. Levi's part) (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

He already knows that you were a popular comic/manga artist the moment he read your file.

But he had no idea that you were THAT popular.

One time he went to a comic con with you to show his support, and a lot of people lined up in front of your table in a snap just to get their copy signed. He couldn't even tell where the long queue ends.

He doesn't read comics/mangas so he doesn't know how your works became so popular in the human world.

So he decided to read some of your works to understand the hype.

He was surprised. He now knows why your comics/mangas were successful. The story of your works was well-written and the art style is really good. And he enjoyed reading it, though he wouldn't tell you that.

He felt proud of your accomplishments and the fact that your talents are recognized by the world.

He is now one of your fans. His pride wouldn't let him admit it tho.

Mammon

I have a feeling that he would know after seeing your name in an article online about popular comic/manga artists.

He'll barge into your room and start saying things like "Why didn't ya tell me you're a popular comic/manga artist up in the human world? You're supposed to tell me things like that, remember? Since I'm your first man and all."

He'd then ask you things like "How much do ya earn per work?" or "Are ya planning to team up with someone? If ya like I could team up with you."

"Sorry, Mammon. But I don't have plans in collaborating with other artists yet."

He'll give you a dejected puppy look.

He's sad that you don't plan to collaborate with him, but he'll still support you. He IS your first man after all.

He would read all of your works starting from the first one until your most recent work.

Congrats, you've got another fan of your works.

Even though you don't accept collaboration requests yet, he would give you ideas for your ongoing work. This helps you a lot in making your newest work's story/plot.

Acknowledge him in your newly released work and he'd be over the moon.

Leviathan

He would know your not-so-secret secret in one of the comic cons he was attending.

He's going on for days talking about this manga that he started reading and how it's so well-done and how he's been looking forward to meeting the artist behind it in the comic con he'll be attending next Saturday.

He even suggested that you should start reading the series with him. Little did he know that you were the artist behind the manga he was talking about.

Imagine the surprised look on his face when he saw you in the comic con, sitting with a table in front of you and a pen in your dominant hand while smiling at him.

Realization hit him. You were the artist who made the manga he so much enjoys. Wait, if you were the artist behind the manga he was reading, then--

Levi.exe has stopped working.

He doesn't know how to react to the truth bomb you just dropped in front of him. He felt like his soul had just re-ascended to the Celestial Realm.

Marry him now.

"Umm, Levi" you waved your hand in front of his face. "Do you want me to sign your copy?"

Your question snapped him back to reality.

"Y-yes, please!" His hands shook from nervousness and shock, and a shade of red had spread across his face and ears.

"I'm glad you liked my series. I appreciate it."

The poor snek boi's heart just stopped.

When you two got home from the convention, he straight up went inside his room and locked himself up.

Remember how he acted around Simeon when he discovered that he's the author of TSL? Yeah, he's giving you the same treatment now.

It took him a while before he started acting normal around you again.

Sometimes though, you could see him being star-stricken with you.

Satan

"Oh, cool."

That was his reaction until you told him the title of your most recent work and its synopsis. Which included two of his favorite things in the three realms-- cats and mystery stories.

If he doesn't have a plan to read it before, he has now.

He is in awe of how well-written the story is and how your art style contrasts the theme of the story.

He would definitely tell you his opinion about it after he finishes the whole series in record time.

If you'd like, he could help you write a sequel to it. Heck, he already has an idea of what the story should be about.

Asmodeus

He would know your profession when he accidentally saw your drafts scattered on your study table.

"Oh, hon... why didn't you tell me that you're a comic/manga artist? Your art style is really good."

He'll give you a lot of compliments after this.

Not surprised when he discovers that your works are very popular in the human world. (He discovers this with the help of Levi). Who in their right minds would dislike a work as good as yours?

Expect that your works would be trending in Devilgram a few days later. Courtesy of yours truly.

He feels that your works should also be recognized in the Devildom, just like his beauty.

He's careful not to post major spoilers after Levi nagged at him nonstop when he accidentally posted one online.

Would ask you to make a comic about himself.

Beelzebub

"Oh, cool." (2)

He's not particularly interested in reading comics/mangas but he will support you nevertheless.

He volunteered to be your bodyguard when you told him you'll attend a fan meeting arranged by the publishing house next week.

He's worried for your safety. He knows how chaotic it can be when meeting your fans. He already has experience with rogue fans.

When you're in a rush of meeting a deadline and you can't afford to join them for dinner, he will be the one who would bring your dinner to your room. You can't work with an empty stomach, after all.

He's totally a keeper.

Belphegor

"Oh, cool." (3)

He may seem to not pay attention whenever you talk about your job but believe me, all of his attention is on you.

He doesn't have the motivation to read all of your works but he'll still be one of your biggest fans.

He has a favorite among all of your works. You'll sometimes see him reading it over and over again if he's not sleeping.

When he's in the mood, he'll even help you proofread the chapter you're currently working on. He doesn't care if it spoils him in the process.

If the chapter you're currently working on includes things about astronomy, he'll gladly help you with it.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me fluff #cookie writings

[jungle-angel]

The One Where Abe Gets A House (Calvin Evans x Reader)

Summary: Your friend Sandy's father-in-law wins a house on a crooked game show and Calvin and the other guys have to go and help him with the renovations

Warnings: Mentions of birth, parenthood, etc.

Tagging: @floydsmuse

You kissed Calvin awake as the sun broke through the window of your shared bedroom. Ellen hadn't awoken yet but already, Six-Thirty had come trotting in with his leash, begging to go out for a walk.

"Do I have to get up?" he mumbled, his voice deep from sleep.

"If you don't Ellen will wake you herself," you chuckled, rolling on top of him.

Calvin laughed a little, kissing you deeply as his hands caressed the swell of your bare ass under your slip.

Your morning makeout session was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of the house phone down in the kitchen. Calvin rolled his eyes as he hurried down the back stairs that led into the kitchen, finally able to pick up and silence that infernal ringing.

"Hello?" he groaned sleepily.

"Cal it's Joel," said the voice on the other end.

"Joel? What gives? It's seven-thirty on a Saturday."

"My father's gone nuts! Nuts I tell you!"

"Aw hell, did he make something explode again?"

"No, remember last week when he was on Funny Phrase?"

"The game show?"

"Yeah, Dad ratted on'em when he found out they were rigged," Joel explained. "But that was after he won a house."

"Wait, wait, he won a house?"

"Yeah down on the corner of Laurel and Stowe Street."

Calvin had to think for a second, but then his eyes went wide when the realization hit him. "No!" Calvin exclaimed. "Not that fucking deathtrap of a house!"

"Yes that fucking deathtrap of a house," Joel answered back. "And I have a feeling he's gonna want help fixing it."

Calvin made a face, pinching his nose as he threw his head back and sighed. "Ok.......I'll be down in twenty," he said before hanging up the phone.

"You ok?" you chuckled when he noticed you on the stairs.

"I swear to God, the older Abe gets, the less sane he becomes," Calvin groaned.

You laughed as he went upstairs to shower and throw on some work clothes and go help Abe and the others. So much for taking Six-Thirty for a walk that morning.

*********************************

Calvin made his way to the corner of Laurel and Stowe Street and sure enough there was everyone's cars parked near the sidewalk under the shade of the trees and hedges. God the place was a dump......a dilapidated......fucking.......dump.

"Is he in there?" Calvin asked when he saw Joel on the front steps.

"Been in there for hours," Joel answered. "I swear to God this place is gonna be the death of us. My mother already yelled at him once this morning."

Calvin snorted. "She didn't throw anything at him did she?"

"No but she came close," Joel answered. "Glad I wasn't there or I would've been an accessory to murder."

Calvin laughed and followed him up the creaky front steps. He turned the little knob, expecting it to open, but instead, it fell right off the rusty hinges.

"Aw fuck me," Joel sighed. "Dad! The door came off again!"

"Let it fall! It's not worth anything anyhow!" Abe called from around the corner.

Calvin followed Joel into the house and was met with a mess, one of the worst messes he had ever seen in his life. The place was dilapidated as shit, but the inside had appeared to be something out of a contractor's worst nightmare, the floorboards warped beyond all human reasoning, the walls graffitied and covered in a pattern that did not appear to be anything from paint.

"Something clearly croaked and went to hell in here," Calvin remarked.

"That's what Lee said when he walked in here," Joel chuckled.

Lee Shang came out of the dump of a kitchen, his toolbelt around his waist and a crowbar in his hand. "You guys got roped into this too?"

Cal and Joel nodded.

"Good you can gimme a hand in the kitchen."

In they went, shoveling and sweeping away the rubbish and throwing it out the back kitchen door, all the while throwing the shop-talk back and forth.

"Dad and his hairbrained schemes," Joel muttered. "I'm afraid to go home when Ma's done with her mah-jongg session."

"Have him come to my place," Lee chuckled. "My grandmother-in-law will hit him with her sandal."

"We're not hiding him at our place either," Calvin laughed as he began busting a hole in the grossly old sheetrock. "Any of the ladies are still there, they're gonna let him have it."

Henry and Abe came in to help them a few minutes later and when it was time to head for home, the closed up what they could and headed back, eager for dinner and a shower.

"Listen son, thank you for heading over, I know it's a pain but we appreciate it," Henry told him.

"No worries, Dad," Calvin answered.

The sound of someone shouting Abe's name came from two houses down, the front door flying open as he came flying out with a terrified look on his face.

"Hide me!" he shouted. "Hide me please!"

"You're not hiding at our place!" Henry and Calvin both told him, laughing as Rose came out hot at his heels and wielding the dreaded dishtowel.

You came out onto the front porch with Pat and Henny, Ellen having just awoken from her afternoon nap as she wriggled in your arms.

"What the damn hell did that knucklehead do now?" Henny asked when she saw the sight.

"I'll have to ask Rose when she calms down," Pat answered. "I've got a feeling it was something stupid again."

Calvin and Henry joined you on the porch, laughing at the sight of Rose chasing her husband and the obscenities that spilled out of their mouths.

#calvin evans #calvin evans x reader #lessons in chemistry

[caramelmillktea]

𝐀 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

Pairing(s) : tattoo!artist!Vi x florist!fem!reader

proofread : Yes/no/semi

wordcount fic : 1.608 words

warnings : swearing

author's note : I have a feeling the vi x reader hashtag is dying slowely?? So I'm here to spice it up a bit. Anyhow I wanted say thank you for reading my story!! It brings a smile on my face to see y'all enjoying this story. This story has been so fun and comforting to write :)

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It was a Saturday afternoon. The sun rays shone through the windows creating a magical atmosphere. It was quiet in your flower shop, the only thing you could hear was the soft chimes of your wind chime. You could hear your cat meowing as she approached you. "Hey there whiskers" you squat down to her level and scratch her behind her ear. She meowed in response. 

You heard the doorbell chime signaling someone has entered. Your cat ran quickly into the room at the back. You stood up to see who your next customer was. A young slim pale woman entered the shop, she had dark blue hair and blue eyes. 

"Hi there Caitlyn!" You smiled and gave her a small wave. Caitlyn waved back to you as she made her way over to the counter. "What brings you in today?"

"I need your advice on something" You caught you by surprise. Has she really driven here just for your advice? She had your phone number so she could've texted you.

"Sure thing, what's up Cait?" God, you hated seeing Caitlyn so worried.

"I recall you saying that certain flowers have certain meanings" 

"Yeah, why?" You saw that something was bothering her but you didn't know what it was. "Caitlyn, hey…. Are you ok?"

"...My father fell ill a few days ago" Caitlyn's voice seemed small. 

"I'm so sorry to hear that, how is he holding up?"

"The doctor's said that it was just a fever but I can't help but worry." Caitlyn's gaze lowered to the counter.

"Don't worry about it." You put a hand on her shoulder. "Things will turn out to be fine. He'll be better before you know it. There is nothing to worry about."

Caitlyn was quiet before speaking up. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just overthinking it." Caitlyn put a hand on yours. "Thanks Y/n." 

"Anytime" you gave her a small smile. "So, what did you need my advice on-" 

You were cut off by the front door slamming open, the little doorbell above flying off its place. You jumped and made a little noise of surprise. You and Caitlyn.

"Y/NNNNNN!" Jinx whined, standing in the doorway, an empty plastic box was in her fingerless gloved hand. "You promised you'd give me a batch of cookies around 1 pm but it's currently 1:01 pm. 

"Hello to you too Jinx." you regained your posture again. 

Jinx walked towards you but stopped in her tracks when she made eye contact with Caitlyn.

"Caitlyn." Jinx gave her a frosty look which Caitlyn returned.

"Powder " 

You could feel the temperature getting cooler in the room. They knew each other? Guess it's a small world afterall. You looked between the females before speaking up.

"I'm sorry Jinx, but a friend of mine is visiting me and I lost track of time. I have the cookies ready upstairs but first I'm going to help my customer." You explained "you can wait and take a seat on the stool right over there if you want to sit." You gestured to the black stool where Vi would sit most of the time.

"Alright, I'll just wait right over there" she points her finger towards the stool. "Goodluck helping out your 'friend'" Jinx grins and sits down on the stool. Her legs stretched out in front of her. 

"Now where were we?" You turned your attention back to Caitlyn. 

"I recall you saying that certain flowers have certain meanings correct?" 

"That's correct indeed."

"Is there a flower that means good health or something?"

"There indeed is. Should I make a get-well-soon bouquet?"

"That would be wonderful." You nodded and started working on a bouquet, grabbing the flowers you needed.

When you were done with the bouquet, you handed it to Caitlyn. "It's on the house Cait"

"I couldn't…" Cait humbling refused. 

"Please, I insist. When I went to piltover for the first time your dad welcomed me with open arms, this is the least I could do." Cait nodded and thanked you. 

"Send him my regards." 

"I will." Cait gave you a grateful smile. She turned around to leave but froze as made eye contact with the tall, athletic form in front of her. 

“Hey Vi! Here to sketch again?" You smiled but Vi didn't respond. Her attention was focused on Caitlyn. 

"Vi?" "

“Caitlyn?” 

“Y/n” The blue haired girl on the stool said. Vi and Catlyn looked at Jinx.

“ What? I thought we were saying each other's names. You two already said each other's name so I said Y/n.” Jinx petted Whiskers while looking at the three of you. Caitlyn gave Jinx a glare. Jinx ignored her glare and turned her attention back to Whiskers.

You looked at Caitlyn and Vi.6 You didn’t know they knew each other. Guess it's a small world afterall. Though you couldn’t quite figure out what their relationship was between the two of them.

“... I should get going,” Cailyn said after a while. “It was nice seeing you again…”  

“... Likewise.” Vi mumbled and nodded. “Thank you again for the flowers.”

“Like I said, it was my pleasure.”

Caitlyn nodded before making her way towards the front door. Vi’s pale gray eyes met Caitlyn’s blue ones when she walked past her. Vi followed Caitlyn’s form with her eyes when she left the shop. 

“Welp… That was awkward ” Jinx called out, breaking the silence. Vi glared at her little sister. 

“What? It’s the truth!” Jinx threw her hands up in defense.

“I didn’t know you knew Caitlyn Vi. Was she a friend of yours?”

“Oh yeah, they were ‘very good’ friends” Jinx giggled. 

Vi looked at Jinx. “Yeah, you could say that...” 

“Cailtyn was Vi’s girlfriend.” Jinx said as the cat escaped from her grasp, she pouted.

“Powder!” 

“What? What are you gonna do? Tell Vander I was being annoying?” Jinx said, daring.

“I don’t need to tell Vander when I can do it myself.” Vi said confidently.

“Oohhh so scary.” Jinx said sarcastically. “You’re gonna give me another lecture? Oh I’m so scared.”

“No arcade for a week!” 

“I don’t go there anymore.” Jinx retorts.

“Fine! no more.. tv.”

“I can always draw or watch tv at someone else's place….” Jinx trailed off.

“No more going to Ekko again for a week.” 

“What!? No!”

“If you keep this up I need to take precautions.” 

“That’s cruel, even for you.”

“Don’t test me” Vi walked over to Jinx. “Also what are you doing here? Don’t you have homework to do or something at home?” 

“Already did.” Jinx responded. “And to answer your first question, Toots here promised me a fresh batch of cookies.” Jinx turned to you. “Right Y/n?”

“Yup.” You shifted your focus to Jinx “Wait here Jinx, I’ll get the cookies from upstairs.” You said before disappearing into the backroom.

“Man, you should really get you a girlfriend like that Vi.” Jinx bowed forward, her elbows propped up on her thighs and her hand resting in her hands. “Imagine all the delicious pastries you can get for free.”

“Is that the only thing you like about her? Her baking?” Vi chuckled.

“No, but it's one of her many good qualities. I’d say go for her.”

“She’s taken and you know it.” Vi said.

“So? It’s time she’d get a partner who isn’t an asshole.”

“Language!”

“What?! I’m old enough to say words like that.” Jinx protested.

“Aren’t you like fourteen years old or something?” Vi teased.

“I’m seventeen, excuse you!”

You walked in with a plastic container filled with cookies. “ What were the two of you talking about? I could hear the banter from the second floor.” You chuckled. 

“Nothing important, we were just talking.”

“Yeahhh” Jinx joined in. “We were just talking.”

You looked at the two sisters but shrugged. “Here Jinx.” You handed the plastic container. “The cookies.”

Jinx’s face lit up and hugged the container close to her. “Thank you so much!!” Jinx went up to you and gave you a quick hug. Jinx stuck out her tongue towards Vi and blew a raspberry before leaving the shop. Vi rolled her eyes at her little sister's antics. You giggled at the two sisters' interaction.

“Your sister really needs to slow down with those pastries.” You laughed.

“I mean, she isn’t the only one who eats them. Hell, even my dad eats them too.” Vi chuckled.

“I just realized you never talked about your dad.” You said before covering your mouth. Maybe she had a reason why she never talks about her parents. “You don’t have to tell me of course but I just realized it."

"Nah, I don't mind." Vi smiled and sat down on the black stool with a loud thund. "There isn't really anything interesting to tell. Vander runs a bar called the last drop. Even though he isn't my biological dad, he is the closest thing I've had to a father figure." Vi smiled a little at the thought. 

"So what about you?" Vi looked up at you. "Why don't you talk much about your parents?"

You sucked in a breath. "Oh no reason, there isn't anything to tell really" your voice cracked a bit as you smiled. Your fingers playing with the scissors causing it to open and close.

"My parents are traveling a lot, they wanted to 'live their old days' to the fullest" You laughed weakly.

"Do you still talk to them?" You stopped playing with the scissors. "Yup! They sometimes call me every now and then, I believe they're currently in the Bahamas." You smiled.

Vi looked at you before saying. "That's nice." With a smile.

#vi x reader #vi x fem reader #violet arcane #arcane x reader #arcane modern au #arcane vi imagines #arcane vi x female reader #arcane vi x reader #arcane league of legends #arcane league of lesbians #tattoo artist vi #vi x y/n #vi x female reader #tattoo parlor au #arcane imagines #vi x reader modern au

[londonspirit]

London, Take 1

Very first London trip in 2024 - one of at least four planned ones (maybe five depending on WHEN they re-home Macbeth.)

And boy, was it a great one. 

Friday noon was leaving time - and I can only recommend that time of day: airports are basically empty, flights are on time and people are less stressed. 

All very uneventful, meeting up C in London and off to the YHA Thameside - pretty far out but was the cheapest so… it’s a good place to stay (whether you still wanna do dorms which im too old now, or a private room; always worth checking if you’re on a budget!) 

Got caught in the rain for a bit but once we’ve dried off, we were off towards Battersea power station for the light installations. 

The weather Gods were merciful, no more rain for the rest of the trip so we could have a nice wander around, having dinner and learning that a fire alarm doesn’t really faze people that much at all - we were finished so we left but there were many that just stayed put O_O (was a FALSE alarm but still...O_O)

Since it got late that was about it for the Friday. 

Saturday morning we had a NT backstage tour planned. GUh, I love them sooo much. I’ve done so many by now and I still love to go behind the scenes of that huge place, and have people tell me all about it. This time we had Chelsea who did an incredible job - and they were so many people that asked just smart questions that we went a bit overtime. 

And we weren’t allowed into the Olivier because the NYE cast was in there, rehearsing!!! 

So we were in the same building as Michael freaking Sheen!!! (We didn’t manage to get tickets for that weekend beforehand - it was sold out as it was very first preview! But we already had planned to do stage door in the evening, just in case!) 

Anyhow, after the tour we were off to Richmond! Finally! I have been trying to get there for a while now. 

Gosh, it’s gorgeous there! And yes, of course my Ted Lasso loving heart was in Heaven to see it all: the pub, the park, the bench (which was sadly occupied), the street!!! *sighs happily* I love to be in places where beloved shows got filmed. 

And the riverside is soo pretty even though it was rather crowded. But then again, the weather was nice enough, even sunny at points. 

After a while we sat down near a muddy field, considering when to go to the theatre. Being the needing to plan woman I am, I checked the site to see how long the play goes. 

And there they were, two beautifully perfect seats next to each other in the middle of the circle. 

I stared at them, stared at my friend and started laughing. 

“Do you wanna go to the theatre tonight?” I asked once I could breathe again. 

“Huh?” she said. 

I showed her the site and she stared at it for like 30 seconds. 

“Can we make it back in time?” she asked wide-eyed. 

“Yes we can. And if we leave now, we even can have dinner before the show.” 

Now SHE started laughing and nodding wildly. 

So I took out my credit card and booked us tickets for NYE’s very first preview in the middle of a muddy field.

We then made our way back to London, had dinner and soon we sat down to watch Michael Sheen being amazing on stage!!! 

There were no obvious issues, the staging was pretty cool and Michael was BRILLIANT despite him being in his pj’s  and barefoot all play long! 

It was a bit weird that the curtain call was soo quick - i'm used to longer ones but with it being 1st preview it’s probably normal. They still got standing ovations so there’s that. 

Stage door was very calm; not too many people (less than I expected tbh), and all very collected. 

What was funny, that there was a person looking at me as if they know me. After a few moments of staring back and forth and them waving at me, I walked over. 

“What name do I call you?” I asked as I had absolutely no clue who they were (IM SORRY IM OLD!) 

“D. From the Rhys gig last year!” 

Only in London!!! *giggles* That was soo very nice to run into them again, we had such a blast at the Rhys gig, but sadly they’d left before I could get their socials! 

We chatted for a moment and then Michael came out! 

*sighs* He’s sooo lovely!!! And so kind. He was rather tired which didn’t stop him from taking pics, writing autographs and chatting with everyone. (He had indeed cold feet, literally; I asked him *hehe*) 

We told him how amazing he was, got our pics and autos, stuck around for a bit (I might have told Anna who waited for him how lovely she looked at the Baftas!) and then he was done, wished us a good night and lead Anna back inside for the party, I guess *lol* 

We were very happy when we made our way back to the hostel (even though the stupid bus didn’t come the 2nd day in a row!) 

For Sunday we only had the Jason and Paul gig in the evening… and a Tower visit I surprised my friend with! She’s never been, but I knew how badly she wanted to see the Crown Jewels so I got tickets for us, got her there under the pretense of meeting a friend and then just walked inside!! HER FACE was fucking priceless!!! 

And DAMN, it’s really worth the price!!! At least for us. Never been INSIDE before, but if you like history and beheadings, this is for you!!! I LOVED the tour, the kids that were in it were amazed and a constant source of amusement to our guide! 

I LOVED the Ravens! Getting this close to them without them being fazed at all, was cool! We spent about 3 hours in there before it was time for food and then heading toward the gig! 

God, I missed live shows!!! Especially Jason and Paul’s - they’re always so much fun!!! 

Still not over the fact that my last one was FIVE years ago; also in London and also around that time of year! 

I had bought VIP tickets just BECAUSE and it was worth the insanity that are these two on a stage just dorking around. 

They played a few songs and then started one somebody had requested during the tour. 

I sat there, confused because I knew it somehow… but it wasn’t one of theirs. 

And then it hit!!! It was a FLIGHT OF THE CONCORDS song!!! One I had just seen/heard a few days ago on my OFMD twitter!!!! 

I couldn’t get it together; my friend thought I’d’ve lost the last bit of my sanity, and I couldn't stop cackling!!! 

It was soo hilarious!!! I mean, Jemaine and Bret did that for a living but Jason and Paul’s faces while trying to get through ‘Business Time’ was sooo worth the money!!!! 

Still not over that!!! 

The general gig was as awesome as always!!! It’s funny tho how the love has shifted: used to be Jason who pulled the fans, nowadays it’s Paul!!! My boy’s come a long way! 

We stuck around after, mainly because I wanted to say HI to Paul. But he’s in HIGH demand. 

Still… when I walked past him and he saw me, his whole face lit up! It’s always nice to be recognized by your ‘stars’. Plus, we ‘know’ each other for more than a decade now so yeah. 

I finally got my hug (and MAN, his hugs are the greatest, especially since there’s so much more shoulders there now *giggles*). 

We chatted a bit, then he left for a bit, came back, I introduced my friend to him, we got our pics and more hugs and another brief chat (which is harder these days, too many people want a piece of him *hehe*) before we said good night and headed back ‘home’! 

Always soo good to see them boys! 

Monday was leaving day for my friend; we had a wander around before it was time for her to leave for the airport, and for me to head towards the Old Vic to catch up with an old friend! It was brief as she’s busy as hell these days, but it was soo good to see her and here’s hope the next meet-up will be a bit longer!  

After that, I was off to see my beloved Victoria Palace Theatre again!!! I’ve sat in basically all seats by now, boxes, royal and grand circle, slip seats but NEVER in the stalls. 

So yeah, 2nd row, smack in the middle!!! ARGH!!! SOO GOOD!!! I love that stage sooo freaking much and seeing it this close was AMAZING!!! Totally new cast but two! I squeed and scared people when I read the cast list in the foyer: Dom was still there: his Washington is sooo good and I was soo happy to see him again!!! 

What made this evening even more wonderful was the adorably excited French man next to me. His very first time and he was sooo hyped! Once it started he had a REALLY hard time to control himself - his joy made my night!!! 

After I sent him around to stage door and after picking up my things joined him; sadly Dom had already left but I played photographer for the french so he got his pics with some of the cast before we said good night - he called meeting me ‘very delightful’ which was 👀!!! Never been called that before!!! 

One last sleep, and I was off home again. Thankfully I’ll be back very soon so saying goodbye wasn’t too hard. 

As always London proved that it’s the most incredibly city in the world - I can’t wait to come back in June!!! 

And this concludes my rather long winded tale of my first London trip in 2024!!!

#personal #london 2024 #michael sheen #paul carella #jason manns

[anxnymanxiety]

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER

I decided that I am kot gonna date things lmao. Kinda feeling mentay frustrated, so I hoped a break would make it better. It, in fact, did not.

I am in one discord server and people are really really nice, but I feel like I abandoned that server and I just dunno. I'd like a community where I can ramble about my silly things and people motivate eachother to push through things. Don't get me wrong, like I said they are really nice, motivating and everything. I just feel like I didn't connect much, but that can be just me.

Anyhow, a gaming-ana server is what I wanna make. For sillies that are like me idk. I might just need more friends lmaoo.

Also I have been fasting for two days now but my period just decided to come, so ugh. Fortunately whenever it happens I don't feel much hunger, so I can just fast and be happy. I am planning on going til saturday because I am meeting up with a friend that day and we already made plans to visit a café. Im sure he will make a suggestion to eat something somewhere too.

So yes yippee. That is for this update. I might restart the logging.

#₊˚⊹♡my ed diary #₊˚⊹♡my rant #i wanna be perfect #i wanna be tiny #i wanna be pretty #i wanna be skinnier #ed rant #ana rant #ana loves you #pro for me not for thee #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️rve #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #@na buddy #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@n0r3xia #disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating #edblr #ed not ed sheeran #tw restrictive ed #low cal restriction #ed vent #ana vent

[ajax-b1ue]

So I donated plasma for the first time yesterday? I’d love it if I could say I’m in a place in my life where I’ve got the time, energy, and financial stability that this is just out of a sense of altruism, but admittedly I also need the money. That said, it occurred to me that it might not be a terrible idea to talk about the process and what all was involved in case that’s something that anyone else was considering. I donated at a CSL plasma center; I imagine some details are a little different with other companies, but probably most of it still applies. Anyhow, rest is under the cut, long post ahoy~

For the curious, plasma donation is different from whole blood donation in multiple ways. For starters, yes, you can get paid for it. Also, you can donate plasma much more frequently than whole blood— plasma is the liquid part of your blood, which your body can replenish within a few days. In contrast, red blood cells take a couple of months. In plasmapharesis, the machine does draw blood, but it then centrifuges/filters out the cellular components, and returns the blood cells to you. The other nice thing is that it only ever draws off about 8 oz (1 cup) of blood at a time before it returns the whole components to you— which means, if you’re like me, and prone to passing out when donating blood (which is the reason I don’t donate whole blood anymore), plasma donation was a lot easier and didn’t make me feel woozy.

So, first thing I did was check out the company’s website and download their app. From what I gather, regardless of what company you’re looking at, they’re only going to accept donors within their ‘collection area’ (I believe to keep people from attempting to register with more than one program/center), so first thing to check is where the closest donation center is for you. I live in a city, so that was fairly easy for me; if you live further away from a center, you may need to call/email to double check that your address falls within their area.

I will say that the websites/CSL app were actually pretty helpful with information on qualifications, or more specifically, what would disqualify a donor. The major standout ones are age, weight, recent tattoos/piercings, and for anyone AMAB who has sex with other AMAB people. Unfortunately that last one I think is a holdover from the AIDS pandemic, and plain old institutionalized homophobia. :\ Tattoos and piercings have to be older than 4 months, and you have to be 18 years old. (Minors weren’t actually allowed in the building at the center I was at.)

As for weight, you have to be minimum 110 pounds; this one is a legal requirement, so it’s going to be the same no matter what company you’re looking at. What’s not as clearly laid out is that if you’re lower-weight, they can’t take quite as much plasma from you, which also means your compensation is lower. For my center (and, it does vary by region, even within the same company), people from 110-149 lbs receive $90 for the first three donations, $40 for the 4th-6th donations, and $90 for the 7th and 8th. So, up to $570 for the first month. By contrast, anyone 150+ lbs receives $100, $50, and $100 (or $650 total) on the same schedule. (This is the payment structure for the first 45 days only, if you donate 8 times within that timeframe; I suspect the payment amount is reduced after that.) 

Which brings me to donation schedule— it’s totally voluntary, and there is no minimum schedule or commitment. Obviously they want people to donate as frequently as they’re safely able to, and to become regular donors instead of donating just once or twice, but there’s absolutely no reason you can’t do exactly that. You can only donate 2 times within any 7 day period, and you can’t donate on successive days. (So, my first donation was on a Thursday; I can’t donate again until Saturday, and if I do, I won’t be able to donate a third time until next Thursday.) Again, this is a legal requirement, and why you're not allowed to double dip by donating to multiple programs— this one is a safety thing, for the donor.

Another safety thing is making sure you 1) are very hydrated and 2) ate a solid meal beforehand. You’ll also want to have gotten a good night’s sleep, and not had anything caffeinated within the last few hours. And, when I say hydrated, they want you to drink an extra 4-8 cups of water within the 2-3 hours before you donate. I managed 4 before I started to feel like I would make myself sick if I drank more, but took a water bottle with me. Side note, don’t chug water, you need to space it out so your body can actually absorb as much of it as possible, but you do really want to have that extra water on board, because they are going to be removing a decent amount of fluid from you.

Okay! About the process of becoming a new donor and the actual plasmapharesis:

Show up at the center (no appointment required at CSL).

Bring your driver’s license and social security card. Or, do like me and make it to the center, realize you forgot your SSC, and drive all the way back home to get it. :’)

Get into the new donor line; tell the person at the counter you'd like to donate, provide IDs. Get instructed to go to a private booth for purposes of verbally confirming that you are literate, and what spoken, written or sign language(s) you communicate in.

Get given a packet to read/video to watch that contains a boat load of info about the process, qualifications, etc. (I had the option to watch the video on my phone by scanning a QR code.) Sign forms indicating that I’ve been provided this info and understand it, and consent forms.

Move to new donor waiting area. Sit and wait.

Continue waiting.

Wish you had realized how long the wait would be, because those 4-8 cups of water are catching up with you and now you really need to pee. (Keep an eye on the people who arrived before you; if there are still people who were there earlier, you’ve probably got plenty of time to run use the bathroom. But that’s part of the reason why it’s good to bring a water bottle, so you can stay hydrated while you wait.)

Finally get called back to a private booth to start being processed.

Go over a lot of the same information that you reviewed at the beginning. This will not be the last time. They are very insistent that you know and understand all of this.

Fill out a 64 point questionnaire confirming your eligibility. (A couple of these are literally quiz questions, where basically you are confirming that you know and understand the info.) Get your picture and digital fingerprint taken.

Once overall eligibility is confirmed, receive a donor number and donor Visa card; this is where compensation will be directly deposited after each completed donation.

Move on to “day-of” screening— things that will not disqualify you from donating, but can cause you to be deferred to come back another day (or week, or month, depending on what it is). This includes weight check, temperature, blood pressure, and a finger-stick (using a spring-loaded autolancet and a pipette, the tech will get a few drops of blood from your finger; it pinches/stings, but it’s not terrible) to check hematocrit and protein levels. If you’re underhydrated, this is where it will show and you can get deferred for the day. Also like... if you have a fever or are visibly sick, which... yeah, please don’t try to donate body fluids if you’re sick.

Also get checked for cuts/scrapes, plus needle injection sites, new tattoos and piercings. (I was asked to remove my jacket and show the tops and undersides of my arms, including lifting my arms up. Might have shaved if I’d realized that but oh well. :’D ) Cuts or scrapes won’t disqualify you, so long as they’re scabbed over and not inflamed. New tattoos, touch ups, or piercings will get you deferred (4 months from the date that you got them).

Get asked how many previous tattoos and piercings you have and where. See the tech’s palpable relief when you don’t have sleeves. Relief becomes understandable when you realize that she has to record and describe every tattoo and piercing you have.

Once day-of eligibility is confirmed, get sent to Medical waiting area.

Start getting hungry, because you’ve been here for a couple of hours by now. Open up a pack of fruit snacks, because if this is anything like waiting for the initial screening—

Get called back to an exam room almost immediately.

Debate stuffing entire handful of fruit snacks into your mouth at once or searching for a ziploc baggy in your bag to put them into.

Begrudgingly decide to be an adult.

Physical exam with the medical staff. Very routine— things like listening to your breathing and heart with a stethoscope, checking whether or not being struck in the tendon below your knee will make you accidentally kick the doctor, shining a light in your eyes to make sure your pupils dilate, and checking inside mouth with a tongue depressor.

Sheepishly explain that you were eating fruit snacks right before you came in here when the doctor wonders why your tongue is unusually red.

Also get asked to lay down on the exam table so they can palpate your liver and spleen. Also also get arms checked for cuts and injection sites again— and this time, ankles as well.

Really, really wish you had shaved recently. But like, it’s long pants weather, c’mon.

(The doctor was not phased in the slightest, to her credit.)

Get sat down to review and verbally confirm same information that you’ve gone over twice already. You will know all of this. Resistance is futile.

Review any and all medications you take with the medical staff, both over-the-counter and prescription. There are only a handful of meds that can cause you to be disqualified/deferred, but you still want them to know any meds you are on, as part of signing up is consenting to potential random or spot-drug tests. (I was not drug tested, just had to agree that they had the right to potentially request a drug test in the future, and that if I were to decline I would be disqualified/deferred.) For any of my fellow ADHD kids, you definitely need to let them know in advance if you take Adderall, as that will give a false positive on a drug test for meth.

(I discussed this with the doctor, including whether or not they needed a letter from my psychiatrist or a copy of the prescription; at least for CSL, I was told that they didn’t need any of that, that it’s basically on the honor system. So long as they know about it in advance, then I’m good to go. They did ask what conditions my various medications were being prescribed for; I don’t generally mind telling people that I’ve got ADHD and anxiety, but just as a heads up. Also, if you take birth control pills, don’t forget to mention those— I don’t, and the doc double checked that with me, but she didn’t ask me to explain.)

Finish with the physical, and finally (finally!) get cleared to go over to the donation floor. (Personally, I’d been at the center for about 3 hours at this point. I was told that new donors do usually end up having to spend a couple of hours in-processing on their first visit, though it seemed like this was a little longer than usual, but there was a decent amount of people there that day. Just, be aware, first time is like, a half-day commitment.)

Realize that there is also a line to wait in here, for returning donors. Die a little inside.

Be shown mercy by the medical staff, and be placed at the front of the donor line. (This is for first-time donors, since it’s such a long process to get to that point, they let you jump the line.)

Get called over to one of the donation beds— oh my god we’re actually getting to describing the actual process of having the plasma drawn, it’s happening—

Confirm your name and birth date, if you’re allergic to latex, iodine, bandaids, or nickel, and what arm you’d like to donate from. (I went with my non-dominant arm, since it was my first time and I wasn’t sure how sore/fatigued that arm might be later; I also was asked to remove that arm from my jacket.) Go over donation floor rules— no eating or drinking (including water) on the donation floor, no talking on a phone. Watching videos, texting, playing games, listening to music, reading, etc, is all perfectly fine and encouraged. (They did have complimentary wifi.)

You are kindly requested to not nap during the donation.

If you fall asleep, they are forced to assume that you have passed out and respond appropriately. Please don’t.

A pressure cuff is used on donation arm, along with you being asked to clench your fist multiple times then hold it clenched, so the tech can identify where exactly your vein is on the inside of your elbow. (My tech used some kind of tool to make a shallow circular indent in the skin on the spot he identified as the best injection site, which was a new one to me.) The pressure cuff stays on for the whole procedure, FYI, though it’s not engaged the whole time.

Iodine scrub for 30 seconds on the injection site, then 30 seconds to dry.

Needle is inserted at injection site, into the vein.

...into the vein.

Third time’s the charm??

Get asked if you mind the tech trying your other arm. Sigh internally but agree.

Before the tech pulls the needle, a supervisor happens to walk by and they ask if they want to give it a try. Supervisor manages to find the vein after another two attempts.

Look I’m sorry I don’t control how big my veins are.

Joking aside, very important note: the needle is large, and it is rigid. If you’ve had an IV before, this needle is larger than that, and many IV needles (or at least the part that gets left in after the initial injection) are plastic and flexible these days— this one is not. I was implored to please, please not bend that elbow, because 1) it would feel incredibly unpleasant and 2) it would push the needle through/blow the vein, and the procedure would have to be stopped immediately. Plus, there would be a very high likelihood I would have to then get stuck in the other arm anyways, so they could return whatever blood cells were still in the machine at that time.

Warnings aside, I do want to note— being very honest and up front, the needle was not particularly comfortable to have put in. Having it inserted was a little painful. (It also took multiple attempts for them to find the vein, which was definitely a contributing factor.) That said, the tech was very gentle, constantly checking with my to see if I was okay, and told me to let him know if it was hurting at all. My answer was, truthfully, no more than I would expect from having a needle in my arm. Despite the trouble in finding my vein (which, that’s not the first time that’s happened), I could tell that he wasn’t digging around with the needle, and seemed very skilled and professional. There was no point where I was concerned that he wasn’t experienced or didn’t know what he was doing. And, once the needle was successfully in, it only took a minute or so to get used to; I was always aware that it was in, but like, only in the “very mildly uncomfortable” sense. It was not painful at that point, or during the blood draw or return. It was definitely more uncomfortable to not be able to move or flex my arm for an extended period of time.

And now more waiting! Except at least this time, it’s at least while the plasmapharesis is actually happening. You’re hooked up to a machine that does all the drawing, filtering, collecting, and returning, but there are techs circulating on the donation floor and checking on you every few minutes. (There was always a tech within eye/ear shot.)

The machine also controls the pressure cuff; when the machine is actively drawing blood, the pressure cuff will be engaged, and you will clench and unclench your fist to help keep blood pumping to that vein, and help avoid the vein collapsing. (For me, the tech also lowered the maximum collection speed on the machine to 85%, because my vein was, in his words “tiny”, although once we started he noted that I was getting a very good flow rate.)

When the machine is filtering/returning blood cells to you, the pressure cuff will relax, and you can relax your hand/arm. The way it was told to me was, “when the cuff’s working, you’re working— when the cuff relaxes, you relax”.

I’d been told the process can take 30-60 minutes, depending on how much plasma they’re collecting from you and the rate of flow. Since I’m in the lower weight group, they were collecting a slightly smaller amount from me (you can see the collection bottle hooked to the machine, mine only got filled about 75-80%), but as noted above, they turned down the machine’s speed for the same reason. In total, my donation time was 57 minutes.

One thing that momentarily caught me off guard, and was probably the most uncomfortable part of the actual donation itself— before you totally finish up, the machine will give you some saline to help replenish some of the fluids/electrolytes it’s drawn off. The saline is cold as fuck. The only reason I realized I was getting saline at all was because my arm was suddenly really frickin’ cold, and I was getting concerned, until I happened to glance over at the machine and saw the “administering saline” text. This was only a couple of minutes at the end, fortunately, but it still would have been nice to know, especially since that arm was out of my jacket.

Finishing up: once the machine totally finishes, another tech comes over, double checks that you haven’t developed an allergy to latex in the last hour, puts a piece of gauze over the injection site, has you hold pressure on it while they remove the needle, then wraps your elbow with a stretchy bandage to hold the gauze in place. This bandage is supposed to stay on for 2+ hours.

Sit up, carefully. I didn’t feel woozy, which I take as a good sign, but I’d say better safe than sorry. Verbally confirm that you feel alright, whether or not you have any last questions, and get informed what the soonest day you’re able to donate again is.

And that’s it, you’re done!

Well more or less.

Aftercare instructions: drink a few bottles of water throughout the remainder of the day to help rehydrate, go have a good meal, no heavy lifting for at least a few hours. (The bandage prevented me from bending my arm completely while it was on anyhow.)

When you do go to remove the bandage, if your needle site is still oozing a little (which is possible, there is a small amount of anticoagulant added to the blood that is returned to you), you should put the bandage back on for another hour or two. Mine was not still oozing, but the clot that formed was stuck to the bandage, and they do very specifically tell you not to pull off any scab or clot on the injection site; I ran warm water in the kitchen sink and held my arm under the water for about 30 seconds to soak the bandage off. Just to be safe, and just in case I had accidentally removed too much of the scab, I went ahead and put some antibiotic ointment and a regular bandaid over the site (since the original bandage was soaking wet at that point).

But, that’s $90-100 dollars that just got added to your prepaid donor card, once the donation’s completed! So that’s nice!

Anyhow, there you go! Sorry that was a novel, but— I like to know what to expect when I’m doing new things, especially by myself, and I figured on the off chance that this could give someone an idea of whether or not they want to try donating, I felt like it was worth taking the time to type up.

As for whether or not I’m going to continue donating? Yep! Honestly, the excessive amount of time it took this go round was just because it was the first time. Now that that’s out of the way, I think the process will be: check in, answer questionnaire, do fingerstick/temp/weight/cuts-scrapes-and-new-tattoos check, go get in donor line, donate. So, way faster, maybe like an hour and a half. I was also told that Wednesdays, Sundays, and rainy days are particularly good days to come donate (at least at our center), because those tend to be slow days with little to no wait. For my second donation, I will also get a front-of-line express pass (I assume to incentivize people to actually come back for more than just the initial donation), so that’s nice too!

For future visits, I probably won’t take a water bottle or snacks inside with me, because the returning donor queue is on the donation floor, and I imagine the time between checking in and getting to go to that line (and the no food/no drinks area) will only be a few minutes, so, not much of a point. I’ll probably still have those things with me for afterwards, though, just stashed in my car.

But do make sure your phone is charged! And, that you know where the bathroom is. :D

Happy donating!

#plasma donation #plasmapharesis #csl plasma #tw needles #tw blood #long post

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

Appetizers

Final day, and I picked the prompt “Still waters run deep”... I wasn’t thinking of turning the rowing AU into a kristanna slowburn when I started out, but here we are...

Kristoff arrived at the boathouse in the morning for the race that day. Since it was a local race, everyone was meeting up at the boathouse, and the free bagels were definitely extra motivation to get there on time. 

The coxswains were all standing near Kristoff discussing the river conditions. Friday’s fog had cleared, though the air was very still on Saturday morning for the regatta, along with the water appearing flat as glass.

“Well, you know what they say,” Olaf said, “still waters run deep.”

“What are you talking about?” Kristoff butted in. “That river is maybe five feet deep.  Haven’t you ever fallen in? You just stand up.”

“It’s a saying, I just thought it sounded cool,” Olaf explained.

“Right, right. Sorry, being a bit literal.”

“When we were in high school, they still made us decontaminate when we fell in,” Anna laughed. “Remember that, Elsa?”

Elsa laughed. “Maybe I fell in once?”

“Right!” Olaf said. “Anna fell in a lot, I remember that.”

“You fell in?” Kristoff smirked. “How?” 

“I wasn’t a coxswain in high school,” Anna explained, “I rowed. And in case it’s not obvious, I’m not very big, so I got knocked out of the boat a lot.”

Kristoff nodded thoughtfully, sipping on his coffee.

“What about you?” Anna asked. “You don’t look like you could get knocked out of a boat.”

“Nope,” Kristoff replied.  “But we had a floating dock in college, and once a speed boat went by when I was standing at the edge and I slipped in.”

“Oh!” Anna exclaimed.

“I’ll be sure to warn you if I see anything coming,” Elsa laughed. “On that note, I’m going to go check in with Coach Mattias.”

“I’ll be there in a sec!” Anna called after her sister. “Just one more bagel.”

Anna went to grab a bagel at the back of the table. Kristoff realized he was a little too aware of the spandex uniform on her as she grabbed the food and ran off, and stared very intently at his coffee. 

“Good luck today, Kristoff!” Olaf said cheerfully as he went to join the other coxswains with Coach Mattias. 

The regatta went well, and none of their boats came in last. Once all the boats had returned from the finish line and everyone was back inside, it was approaching dinner time.

“We should go out and celebrate!” Olaf declared after they were putting everything away. 

“Nobody won,” Hans muttered. “I don’t see the point.”

“Fine, you don’t need to come,” Elsa told him. “Where does everyone else want to go? Applebee’s?” 

Hans wrinkled his nose, packing up his bag and heading out.

“Applebee’s is fine with me,” Kristoff said, and several of the others agreed. 

The restaurant was a short distance from the boathouse, and even though Kristoff had gotten going fairly quickly, Anna was already there when he arrived. 

“Hey, how’d you get here so quickly?” Kristoff asked.

“Did I? I suppose I did. I actually left right after the four was put away, since our race was earlier. I was at the coffee shop next door and Elsa texted me that a few people were planning to meet here.”

“Did she tell you who wasn’t coming?” Kristoff smirked.

Anna frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, a certain member of our boat made a bit of a stink about not coming,” Kristoff snorted. “I thought Elsa might have mentioned it.”

Anna gave half a grin. “I think I know who you mean. And, no, Elsa didn’t mention that, but I certainly won’t miss him.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Kristoff said. “He told me about you himself, by the way.  When he was drunk in my bed.”

“Wait, what?” Anna asked. 

“No, not like that-” Kristoff laughed. “No, I found him there. He was so drunk he went into the wrong room. I left the door latch to keep the door open because Olaf kept getting locked out.”

“Ahhh,” Anna giggled. “I won’t judge.” 

“Anyhow…” Kristoff cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’d rather not talk about him. I was avoiding this-” she waved her hand vaguely, “because I knew he’d be around. I’m glad I came back. And I think I’ve kept my emotions in check.”

“I wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t said something, so don’t worry,” Kristoff said.

“Well, that’s good.” Anna smiled.  “But, really, let’s go sit at the bar and look at the menu. What’s your favorite?”

“I really don’t eat out much,” Kristoff admitted.

“It’s Applebee’s, it’s not really eating out,” Anna insisted.

“What do you recommend?”

“Don’t laugh,” Anna said, “but the appletini.”

“What’s that?” Kristoff asked.

“It’s like a martini, but not really. It’s super sweet.”

“I wasn’t really thinking about getting a drink here,” Kristoff admitted.

“It’s almost five, why not?” 

Kristoff considered it. “You know, I think I might. As long as you can recommend some actual food.”

“Oh, yeah, I bet you’re hungry,” Anna said.  “We should get some appetizers so we’re not starting without everyone else.  Nachos? Onion rings?”

“It all sounds good.”

#FFC 2023 #frozen fanfic #modern au #rowing au #kristanna

[sheliesshattered]

Grommets in progress!

Grommets in armscyes!

Grommets all completed!

Grommets all laced up!

Grommets!

Stabbing holes in a nearly-completed project you've been working on for seven months is always nerve wracking, and even more with this delicate silk brocade. And even more while trying to pattern-match at center back. But I did a test run of setting the grommets in scrap of fabric, I measured and marked the placement carefully, I took my time setting them, and I'm really happy with how they came out.

The lacing is the rayon cording I posted about dyeing the other day, and I'm still just so pleased with the color match I was able to achieve by mixing colors of Rit dye and only keeping it in the boiling pot for about 5 minutes. (My first attempt I actually dyed far too dark by thinking I needed to boil it for 20 minutes, but thankfully I have 144 yards to work with and won't need anywhere near that much.)

Since I decided not to try to hide a zipper in this and keep it as screen-accurate as possible, the back lacing will actually be the way I get in and out of the dress. So to make lacing it up a lot easier I handsewed a lacing point to each end of the cord -- actually just 3mm spiked beads that are meant for jewelry making, but are perfect for threading through the 5mm inner diameter of my grommets. They have just enough weight to move nicely too, so I'm going to use them in the front semi-decorative lacings too.

My goal for this weekend was to get through all the pounding of setting the grommets during non-work hours, and even taking my time and taking breaks as needed, I got through that no problem. Next weekend I want to be able to have everything ready so Jack can help me mark out where the hem needs to go, so all my next steps are going to be focused on preparing for the hem:

I think having the sleeves laced on and the dragon claw lacing at the front waist may change the way the dress falls, so I want to get those done next up. I need to fiddle with my (very well broken in) shoes so they're ready to wear for the fitting. I need to cut ~100" of silk organza to face the hem with, and there's one little fit adjustment at center front I would like to do if I have time, but probably won't affect the hem at all.

If I get all the way through that with time to spare before Saturday morning, I'll spend the rest of the time finishing all the raw edges of the organza underdress. It's in an okay state to wear for fitting the hem, but getting those raw edges handled will make it a lot more comfortable to wear. And hey, it needs to be done eventually anyhow.

The hem is the last big must-be-done for this cosplay to be wearable, and then I'll be able to shift gears into things like the wig, a little bag to carry my con essentials in, finishing the underdress, and the beading the neckline trim. And working on my Swiftie Harley Quinn! Getting that one into a wearable state will probably come before the beading for this cosplay.

I have 44 days left to work on all my cosplays before it's time to pack for Dragon Con, but now that I've actually been able to try this on with the back fully laced up, my to-do list feels a lot more achievable. I've got to keep up this pace, especially if I want to do detail work like beading, but I'm hopeful I can get it all done.

#RRD cosplay #my cosplay #my sewing #Dragon Con prep #Dragon Con 2023 prep #Dragon Con 2023 #long post

[porcupine-girl]

Update on my covidness. Covidity?

I'm at 4 weeks since I got sick.

I count last Monday, July 25, as the first day I wasn't actually sick anymore, so I was actively sick-sick for like 17 days. But the fatigue has barely let up - I've had a couple good days but they're usually followed by really bad days. I can basically do One Thing a day, such as helping with dinner or going with my husband to the grocery store (which turned out to be a mistake and wore me WAY out, but I hadn't left the house in three weeks and was desperate).

It's especially bad in my arms - some days my legs feel like I could probably take a walk (I haven't dared yet) but doing almost anything with my arms is exhausting. After the trip to the grocery store, where my husband did most of the work, I was reduced to playing games on my iPad one-handed, switching out hands as each one wore out.

So that's where I am now. Four weeks in I'm not sick, but I'm also hardly capable of doing anything. If this happened during the semester IDK what I would do - I have video lectures from when we were remote that I can use, but I couldn't even fucking grade in the state I'm in.

The only thing I can compare it to is when I was undergoing chemo 18 years ago. It feels so much like that sometimes it's creepy. The way I would be doing okay and then suddenly go way downhill in a matter of minutes - that happened the one time I tried to eat at a restaurant. (Our anniversary was while I was still sick-sick, and the kid was at camp for a week so since I wasn't sick-sick last Friday I was like okay I can sit in a booth and eat for an hour. And I did, and was tired but hanging in there, but around the time we ordered dessert I just crashed.)

The arm tiredness is also similar to chemo. The way some days typing or holding a book is too much for my arms, and holding a video game controller in my lap is the best I can do (I have played a LOT of ACNH let me tell you).

Anyhow. In case anyone was wondering. I really hope this lets up a bit before classes start in 2.5 weeks!

A full recap of the past four weeks under the cut:

I think my husband & son picked it up at the July 4 parade, which was a Monday. They got sick Wednesday/Thursday. Thursday night I wasn't quite sick but I felt the way I always do right before I get sick so I knew it was coming.

Friday, July 8 was the first day I was definitely sick, fever and all. (I will note that although 100.4 is technically the "fever" cutoff, my baseline body temp tends to be around 97-97.5 instead of 98.6 so I consider anything above 99 as a fever, and even though my immune system is messed up and I'm sick way more than my husband or kid it's still pretty damn rare for me to get a fever even by that measure.) Saturday my temp got up to like 101.5, when I still had a fever Sunday I tested and was positive for Covid.

At that point I thought to test my sense of smell and realized it was mostly gone. My husband realized that the problems he'd been having since his brief sickness Wednesday/Thursday were all due to covid brain fog.

Monday, July 11 I went to a grocery store clinic and got a positive test there and a prescription for Paxlovid. Took Paxlovid like a good girl for five days, but by the time I was done with it I still had a fever and was still testing positive (I tested 24 hrs after my last dose, so on Saturday July 16). I'm assuming it prevented me from getting worse, at least, but I did NOT have the miraculous "I started feeling better two days into Paxlovid!" experience that I've heard from so many others.

Finally that Sunday, the 17th, my temp dropped below 99 and stayed that way. So I had a fever for about 9-10 days straight. I was still very definitely sick, though. My bones still hurt all the time, my sinuses were a mess, headaches on and off, and I had the general "sick feeling" that is often the only symptom I get. My sense of smell and taste were still off, though smell was at least returning. I finally tested negative on Saturday, July 23 but I was still sick for another day or two.

#pg irl

[mishervellous]

paola, my love, let me just-

*glasses rattle. drawers are ripped open.*

where did i put-

*papers shuffle.

it can't be that far away-

*hardy little desk plant almost gets set on fire.*

where the fuck-

*vase falls victim to the chaos and shatters*

nope-

*more shuffling. a siren goes off. *

ah, here!

*trips. almost tears down a wall.*

there you go. in case you need it for official purposes 😌😊🌼

(okay, yes, i do feel extremely silly about this, especially considering i pondered for hours whether to send it in or not, but i figured you deserve that little over the top; i'm weird like that 😌💙🌾 anyhow, cc-ing @gallawitchxx. you're in this now, too, no way out.)

OMG!!! i was looking for this sucker everywhere!! thank you for finding it babe 😌💙 now i can go to the DMV and brag about you legally being my husband or whatever it is one does at the DMV

(the speed at which i saved this to print it out tomorrow is unmatched ily ilyyyyy 🌷 and i love our officiator bee who comes by for brunch every saturday 🥰)

#daily hubby my beloved 💙 #creepervellous 🌷🌼 #💙💙💙💙 #ask

[c1nn4m0n-g1r7]

It’s better this way, I know

I was meant to be alone

I know I could never be with someone

I’d feel trapped

I’d find a way to break free

And then I’d be alone again

And I’d feel better, but sad

I wish there was a way

Where I could be okay

Okay with being alone

Okay with being with others

But really I’m neither

I’m Simply not okay at all

I never have been

And any faith of that changing is fading with time

Maybe it has less to do with the company

And more to do with me

But I shan’t be too hard on myself

For there isn’t any thing wrong

With who I am

It’s just the way I feel

That isn’t quite right

I have always been scared

Of growing up

And not being enough

And I’m not saying that I’m not enough

Because there’s not anything that I significantly lack

Of course there’s the will to socialize

And let myself experience things

Without having total control

But other than that

I do as I need to

And that is that

But now that I am in college

And have left my home town

And am doing what I’ve been scared of my whole life

I realize that my fears were all wrong

For I shouldn’t have feared not being enough

That isn’t scary

No one is enough

Everyone lacks something

It’s having everything I need to be successful and still feeling that gaping hole inside of me that I should have feared

It’s having people who love me express to me that I am flourishing

While still feeling completely alone that should have scared me

If I’m being completely honest

I am terrified

I still hear the screams of my younger self

From the time she had a panic attack days before her high school graduation

Hear the sobs of her sweet voice as she cried of overwhelming anxiety on her birthday when she turned 17

I feel her in the silence that she produced when she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital on her 16th birthday as well as the many times she had been admitted before then

I feel the emptiness she felt when she was put on a feeding tube because she starved herself till her body wouldn’t allow her to stand

And why did she do it?

She was scared

She didn’t know what else to do

She couldn’t breathe

She couldn’t eat because

She would rather slowly deprive herself of all nutrients and slit her cold pale skin

And swallow bottles of pills to insure herself

That she wouldn’t live to become me

And who am I to blame her

No, I don’t hate myself

I like the way I dress

I can control that

I love the way I dyed my hair darker

I think it fits me way better than blonde

And I know my friends agree

I love the people who I allow In my circle

They are lovely

And love the way I can control how deep I let them in

Not that they would want to be in deeper anyways

Because it’s when you truly let them in that they realize they’d be better off leaving

Or maybe I’d be the one to go

But I like the fact that I feel comfortable walking out if I ever want to

I like the way that I can control how everyone sees me

I like the way that I wake up early and clean the house on Saturday warnings

There’s nothing about me that is inherently wrong

In fact I believe that if I weren’t myself I’d probably befriend who I am

I’d probably have nothing negative to say

I quite like who I have shaped myself to be

And maybe if I weren’t me,

I’d even feel jealous

I’d probably crave to be who I am

But that’s only because I’d be naïve

For the one thing that I’ve learned,

After becoming all the things I’ve ever dreamed would make me better,

Is the fact that

No matter what I do to control my life

To control what I look like

And who I become

I will never be able to change the terrible feelings I hold inside myself

And that is something that can never be forgotten

Not by how many people tell me they love me

For people don’t love things that don’t love them back

Not for long anyhow

But I simply don’t have enough room in my heart to feel anything anymore

In my psychology courses

I’ve learned simply the basics

But I tend to dwell on things more than the average girl

Maybe that is why I feel things more deeply

But anyways

We learned about the Pavlov dog theory

I’m sure you’ve probably heard about it

The theory about the dog salivating at the sound of a bell after associating it with food over a long period of time

Such a simple way to describe classical conditioning

I’m afraid that a lot of the time it happens more unexpectedly

And more dangerously than what that story describes

I think I’ve learned to associate any feelings of joy and happiness with fear

It’s my body’s way of preparing me for what I’ve learned to be the only ending to a beautiful day

You see growing up in an emotionally unstable environment leads a girl to never let her guard down

Especially during the good times

Because in the times where she feels on top of the world

Have never not resulted in a painful fall

Actually

If i think back to one of my oldest memories

I can almost feel the way my cheeks boiled up as the salty tears rolled into my mouth

I would gasp for air choking on them as I screamed

Not at my father

But out of frustration In myself

I’ll never forget the raw feeling in my throat after yelling over and over at myself

“Your so stupid”

And I meant it

And i always told myself I wouldn’t let it happen again

I wouldn’t let it effect me like this again

I’d never let someone let me down again

I’d never let myself down that way again

“You’re so stupid”

“Your stupid”, I’d tell myself

And it hurt worse each time that I had thought I’d be smart enough to learn my lesson

But the self hatred would always come rushing back down my throat choking me the same way my tears did that day and all the other times I had allowed myself to be let down when I was still young enough and vulnerable enough to show how much it hurt

I’m stupid

I know that now

Because wether or not I let it show

And I don’t

It still hurts

It was stupid to believe that it wouldn’t

[ayamisc]

.:fatigue:.

(c) William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Warner Bros. Discovery

Tuesday, Aug 21 …that night i slept at 4-ish in the morn.. it tried to finish my AP Bio summer thing.. for the review the next day [or rather… later that day at 3:30pm] but failed. oh well.

Wed & Thurs… same story. if you don't know by now. i'm a procrastinator who doesn't know my priorities.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday.. ..i can't really remember what i did. but all i know is. i was busy doing my bio and english summer work.

Monday, Aug 27 i slept at 3ish in the morn… same story. [and i actually did my work this time.. obviously for the lack of time]

Tuesday, Aug 28 ..i didn't sleep. at all. i did my english essay which was due on midnight. then tried to get ready for school… all the while finishing up 3 questions i left out from my AP Bio review thing. aaaand.. well… the rest was spent reviewing for my AP Bio test the next morning. oh the joys of student life.. so much for the 1st day of school right? i finally lsept after school at 1:30pm i think… then woke up at 7ish.. and did more of my english work that is due the next day.

Wednesday, Aug 29 .. i didn't sleep. coz i thought i had a test on english the next day. well.. there was a scheduled one but we didn't end up taking it. oh well.

Thursday, Aug 30 slept around 4.. yeah.. more work.. well.. i tried to read english.. didn't finish anyway.

Friday, Aug 31 slept at 5.. i tried to read more english. again. didn't finish. and spent 3 hours doing my loooooooong french homework… oh joy.

Saturday, Sept 1 slept at 3ish. ..i slept friday afternoon and couldn't fall asleep. oh well. at 10sih.. i awoke.. or rather.. my mom woke me up since we're going to her high school reunion thing. we left at… 11am.. i slept through the trip. i don't know how long… haha anyhow. when we got there… the weather was… sizzling? and for the most part it was boring i felt like sleeping. around 6ish-7ish.. my mom's classmate's daughter and i went to her room and watched anime until 9:45-10ish.. [Yay! Ate Fatima!] then i read a comic book.. then..well.. had a nap on her bed… ehehehe >> we left at 10:30-11ish… i think. we got home past 12ish.. i slept throughout the trip again. …when we got home.. we had a midnight snack.. watched some tv.. yeah. finally fell asleep at 3ish.

Satuday. September 2 i woke up at 9:20. then i went to community service at 10. i got home at 12. ate some lunch.. when i was in community service, my friend alex called telling me of a pool party at her house. i said i'll try to come. i really did.. but i guess my memory is horrible when i'm tired… i forgot to call… actually.. i even forgot about the pool party when i got home… then slept afterwards… [and since my phone was set in "meeting" i wasn't able to hear alex's and andy's call around 2-3ish..gomen!!!] and i woke up at 6ish for dinner. [at this point. i haven't checked my phone and was still wasn't aware i missed a pool party….] then slept again 10:30pm. and this is where i am now. i just checked my phone. sorry guys.. and at this time.. it was not my habit of not answering my phone.. it's coz i was asleep.. and now.. i have a mild headache for both lack of sleep.. and too much sleep. plans for tomorrow: guess what? i'll probably NOT sleep at all again… why? coz i have a ton of homework to do… yay… ><

ah. the joys of student life, oui?

again. sorry to Mel, Alex, and Andy, for not making it…… [and sorry to whoever was there…blah blah blah]

uhm. and. thank you to Taho coz she tolerated my..uh… deafening silence… hahaha.. jk… thank you Ate! LuvU!

PS. This blog was originally posted on DeviantArt.

#life #life update #student life #high school #deviantart

[steamishot]

tired

i felt so tired/stressed this past week, from work, PMS, and secondhand stress from matt - he had 3 interviews back to back (tues-thurs) and i basically listened in on everything (also my fault, i like to be nosy lol). another hospital in redlands will be flying him out for an in-person interview mid-september. because we already had a double date planned with S&I, and G will actually be in town for a couple days for work, we decided that i won't tag along this time and matt will only go for 3 days. i've literally lost count of how many flights to CA he'll have for the rest of this year.

since last wednesday, i was internally freaking out about having slacked off so much at work in the VCP aspect, that i went hardcore at getting the tasks done. we just had the last academic affairs meeting in which i'll be in my current role today. dr. m touched on my leave at the beginning of the meeting, and joked saying "i'm quitting" in response, which was cute. but i was like, i hope you mean it and you're not complaining about me behind the scenes lol.

after the blood, sweat and tears from this one week of "hardcore" work, i felt content that i had a clear presentation with where we are with everything. honestly, i'm not sure what is better. when i'm really busy, it's stressful, but i feel like i'm contributing and making a difference. on the other hand, now the pendulum has swung back to being on the boredom side. anyhow, i'm excited for my new role and to learn new things!

recently, i've also been experiencing health anxiety. i accidentally missed my radiology appointment when i was in town earlier this month. i was NOT looking forward to doing a transvaginal ultrasound and was slightly relieved when i missed my appointment, but now that i've been having these weird aches/tension, i wish i didn't miss my appointment. i'll need to wait until i'm back in town late sept/early oct to get a checkup for peace of mind.

this weekend, matt and i did a last minute trip to the hamptons and montauk. we used our chase points to get a hyatt hotel at riverhead, and my capital one travel credit to get a rental car from manhattan. i decided i wanted to go this weekend because it would be the only time we could go while the weather is still warm. we got to visit four farms/farmstands, go to cooper's beach twice (one of the prettiest beaches i've been to), see how some people live in the hamptons, and eat a yummy beachside lunch at hooked.

being in southhampton/cooper's beach, the scenery was so pretty i was able to forget about life's stresses for a while. i think long island/driving towards montauk is completely underrated. i would say southampton/cooper's beach is now one of my fav places of the east coast. the trip was quite nice, but very tiring because of all the driving. i also couldn't sleep much the first night in the hotel because i had drank too strong of a milk tea earlier that day lol. pms + sleep deprived + stressed from work + being under the sun in the car too long = grouchy me.

life updates:

R&TL are moving to NYC this week! TL is already here securing an apartment, and R will be flying over this saturday. we're planning on hanging out with TL for a bit this thursday for dinner, and i may go see them over labor day at their new place

went to my first cuculi event last weekend with T - bbq at governors island. i met a new chinese friend J, who moved from boston and spoke to me a lot in chinese. also, there was a black guy M who made me feel really uncomfortable. i was chitchatting with people and i think he misinterpreted my friendliness as interest. he ended up leaving the event the same time as me, T&J, which meant i had to take the subway back with him as we were both going towards brooklyn. he asked me 3x about plans to hang out even though i didn't show interest after the first time. ugh.

we have a trip planned to boston next week! i wanted to visit K in her element before leaving the east coast. obviously, i'm trying to pack everything in before winter comes lol. i've only met her once before for a couple hours when she visited nyc, but we've been chatting online for like 3 years now. it'll be matt's first time meeting her. i foresee that this trip will be tiring as well due to the driving but hopefully chill in terms of activities. we'll be doing 2 nights in boston and 2 nights at the getaway machimoodus :)

my friend G told me about the mouse jiggler so i bought one off amazon - that has been quite life changing haha

my parents are on their alaskan cruise right now, matt's parents are traveling on their 21 day african trip, and my friend K is vacationing in vancouver (her first vacation in 2+ years)

i got my bridesmaids dress altered (who knew this would be so expensive), and have a wedding guest outfit for the remaining two weddings this year

matt and i joined a running group last wednesday, south brooklyn running club. it was really nice, even though my knees were destroyed the day after lol. the roundtrip walk to the meeting point in carroll gardens was 2 miles, and we ran about 4.5 miles on top of that. the award for the slowest runner goes to.... me! a nice white lady kat helped keep me accountable. i would have given up after mile one if she didn't continue subtly peer pressuring me to run haha. although it was fun, i'm not sure if i'd return because most people who go are really fit and can easily run 9 min (multiple) miles, and have done or are training for a marathon. however, i'm glad to check "running club" off the bucket list.