#that devolved a little

[idleorbitals]

OF ep 2 watch through ...part 2

(part 1)

sand he was inviting both of you *so* explicitly what is your move here. sand will complain repeatedly about this into the next scene but no one asked him to cancel his date. baby is in denial

side note ray enjoying begging sand so much?? side note also this is how we find out ray blacked out and sand left him their last night together? ouch

ohhhkay the extensive flirting in the car. "one night stand boy, huh?" sand patently enjoying himself /so/ much but whining the whole way. they are both in trouble and neither of them know it yet but sand is going to find out really soon and ray is not going to find out until they both are in much more trouble

top has trauma-induced insomnia and he's serious enough about it to make this face. I'm still proud of mew for checking if he was trying to pull one on him and then being kind about it when it seemed like he wasn't

alright tho didn't we just establish that your much comfier bed is right over there? mew no one did this to you but yourself

I like these mockumentary cutscenes more than I thought I would. mew silently smirking as he checks off boxes is doing heavy narrative lifting and I'm into it

the foreboding music the lighting the lingering on the photo of ray and mew boston what are you planning?? is he about to become a real antagonist? can't decide how I feel about this

ray is sort of into sand insulting him? is this because he doesn't have the power to hurt him yet or masochistic kink

...ray baby no. you're gonna be Learning

sand brings up the /who are you, my dad?/ except this time it's /who am I, your dad?/ convo again and ray makes this face:

alright

alright

oh here we. fokking go

sand going "what am I supposed to be, your hooker" and ray saying "sure" and sand doing soft surprised pikachu for like ten seconds. ray doubling down and sand telling him to save it. instead of saying "I don't sleep with people for money" he says "I sleep with people I like for free" and we send silent thanks to screenwriters who understand the sex industry and have the cultural vocabulary to write compelling nuanced and still quippy conversations about sex. not to be heterophobic but queer people make better tv

anyway sandray are both playing a game and they both keep getting surprised to be one-upped. this is a very enjoyable dynamic to watch and they seem to be enjoying it too

...for now

at minute 8:30 sand's last vocal sound leaves his mouth. for thirty full seconds ray smokes and asks him leading flirty questions including "am I interesting enough for you?" and "are you open to someone like me?" and for thirty full seconds sand looks from rays right eye to his left eye and back again and lowers and raises his jaw infinitesimally and just generally:

this boy is done for and I can't even be mean about it I'm right there with him

anyway at shortly after minute 9 they break the tension and kiss each other. they kiss each other! ray is the one leaning around from his cigarette to do khaotung's little smoke plume of high art but sand is very much matching him in coming in for this kiss. I love this framing so much. firstkhao have the absolutely ideal dynamic to pull this off*

*if anyone saw that one person copy pasting SANDRAYYYY SWITCHHH into the live comment box the entire end credits that wasn't me but I was there with them in spirit

they break away and sand says if they go further they won't just be friends and ray says some kinds of friendship start from sex you watched the same thing I watched I don't need to describe it but here I am. do you remember though that this was the look ray was giving sand while he said that because ho boy

sand pronouncing that ray is going to keep wanting him but they're going to stay just friends right after he says we won't be just friends after this...what level to tackle this on. narratively this definitely feels like foreshadowing and I think he's right on the money on the first bit. but we know that sand is not going to get out of this remotely unscathed whether or not it could possibly be argued that he hasn't already lost that battle. sand showing his hand by contradicting himself out loud as well as internally?

they stub out their cigarettes Significantly and start making out again. can't coherently screencap this scene. it's so excellently done. top notch dynamic again. firstkhao are getting better at this with every go.

ok I do have one minor gripe

for some reason in the middle of sand pushing ray back onto the couch they have inserted a shot of ray on top of sand. it is from the beat that comes after the last little mockumentary cutscene—it's not a double, it's the exact same shot, just colored differently. screenshots below from 10:11 and 11:02

editing mistake? intentional insert to lengthen the scene? I like this shot too but it breaks up the flow of the scene oddly and I want it gone from the first part

mockumentary cutscene: even harder to focus on when I know what's coming back on screen right after but worth mention. obviously sand is reflecting on some past mistakes here. he knows he's playing with fire and he's denying it vocally and also not changing his behavior. self-awareness level relatable honestly. do we think he fell in love with someone he didn't want to? or fell in love freely and then got screwed over? why is he mr. one night stand boy

also don't know whether to credit ray or khaotung for this longest gayest look ever at his own pants. sublime

okay back to the couch for our not-quite-ten-second final indulgence. ray's on top this time. I don't even like sex scenes that much I know what I am saying

I see, like sand's, my words are not matching my actions. and yet

*trembling* sandray.... switch....

all ofts watch throughs

#ofts #only friends the series #ofts meta #firstkhaotung #raysand #sandray #that devolved a little #also it took me so long to finish i took two breaks and posted snippets forgive me #i'm overflowing with um. i don't even know #consider me truly fucked over by this show #where did my saturday go anyhow #ofts watch through

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

he is just. so shaped. so so so So shaped.

#im Attempting some new tactics #it doesnt really show! but i am! #starting to fuck around w/ watercolor brushes... #holding him up like a little bee and saying I Just Think He's Neat! #< i jest! i think much much more about him #that i cannot share without devolving into an incoherent mess! #so. i just think he's neat :]c #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #frank frankly #im also trying... to do... (dramatic thunderclap) BACKGROUNDS #i know i know. very scary. they're still very messy #but... i like objects? i like Things? i like to look at a page and see put together clutter! #maximalism babey! #which is deadly when you're an artist methinks. but. whats one more agony added onto the rest! #it will be a while until i figure out how to Accomplish that put-together clutter.... #im still bad at colors! im trying to swim before i can walk! Yikes!

[orange-coloredsky]

The two most popular reads of the synth plight in Fallout 4 are that of the race allegory and the Red Scare/McCarthyist allegory. In the former example, synths get racialized in a similar way to Black Americans in the late 19th and early 20th century, but just barely. The Underground Railroad is quite literally remade, synths are subjected to slavery at the hands of their human creators and punished harshly for escape attempts. Others have likened synths to fears of immigrants or asylum-seekers from nonwhite majority populations. Synths in these imaginings of Fallout 4 are painted as needing to be saved at the same time as they are vilified and dehumanized – sometimes by the same character over the course of the story. This duality could be a great opportunity for a dive into how white saviorism tends to play out, but in reality it ends up being a messy, deeply uncritical exploration of the impact of race and racism in society. The factions doing the racialization and/or saviorism’s motives are never questioned, and there is a very clear depiction of “good vs. evil” being the end-all-be-all of anti-racism work (again, with no critical thought as to how the “good” side is made almost completely of non-racialized people making decisions on behalf of a marginalized group). Worse yet, it’s contrived. The android-racism analogy has been a thorn in the side of the science fiction genre ever since Isaac Asimov wrote the 3 Laws of Robotics. There’s very few iterations on the idea that have come from popular (white, Eurocentric) media that aren’t riddled with the same aftertaste of white guilt and fundamental misunderstandings of how racism plays out in day-to-day life.

The less common, slightly more agreeable interpretation is that of the Red Scare – which, given Fallout’s inspirations and the setting’s original critique of reliving America’s “good old days”, makes perfect sense. In this example, synths take the role of the Soviet spy: watching over everything Americans are doing and reporting back to a secret base that is plotting to overthrow the world as we know it. Psychological screenings as well as inhumane tortures are utilized to pick synth “spies” out from the good, red-blooded residents of the Commonwealth. A neighborhood is founded entirely around the protection of the “old ways of life”, complete with a white picket fence comically decorated with automatic machine gun turrets. While this is a more charitable analogy that’s grounded in a slightly-deeper-than-surface-level exploration of American history, the Red Scare interpretation is victim to the same pitfalls that plague the racism interpretation. Midway through the game, the player discovers that there actually is a secret base of evil villains hiding underneath our feet, plotting to annihilate our beautiful Commonwealth lives. People do get taken and replaced by synths, they are in our governments, there is an actual reason for synths to be feared. Sure, some synths are perfectly fine people with no wish to be made tools of the Institute’s tyranny, but that is greatly overshadowed by the fact that the Institute’s stated goal is to use synths to gain control over the Commonwealth. There is no real critique of McCarthyism, there is no ideology to be challenged, because the Communists are here and killing your loved ones in their sleep.

#4 #txt #my art #long post #meta #working on a transcript of a instagram highlight i made ages ago #with updated language and whole new paragraphs -- this is one of them #eventually i will be talking about acadia & how far harbor handles synth marginalization waaaaaaay better than vanilla fo4. of course #you didnt think this WOULDNT eventually devolve into dimaposting did you? oh you know so little of me <3

[spooky-activity]

I wonder where the Trailblazer could be 🤔

#my art #tw blood #kafhime #honkai star rail #hsr #kafka #himeko #dont mind the style slowly devolving into simplicity as it goes on #definately because of the tone shift to a little more lighthearted #and not done out of laziness #for sure #anyways i just think it’s so funny when kafka flirts and himeko just looks annoyed #himeko won because she had that Mom Rage #she thought kafka had kidnapped stelle

[pbnmj]

miles and felicia have barely interacted in canon TO YOU. in my mind they are already at batman and robin levels of working together

#i actually think felicia as an older sister figure to miles can be so real. SO REAL!!!!! #felicia hardy #miles morales #spider-man #spiderman #black cat #not rly spiderverse but i did take miles' design from it.. ? #anyways if this devolves into felmj then just allow it please. i think peter's love interests have to unionise #my art #projected a little of my little brother onto these two as well. sometimes there is a 15 year old in your life begging you #to buy them jordans for christmas/their birthday. and you have to look them in the eye and say no <3

[a-mongooose]

Why do I always end up posting at completely unreasonable hours? Oh well! Sleep is for the weak <3 The Drew kids have comically large gaps in skill when it comes to artwork. Like Audrey really needs to step up her game <///3 And by popular demand, I have given Bendy his well deserved chocolate. Nothing else happened. No souls were harmed in the process. Trust me bro 

#bendy and the ink machine #bendy batdr #audrey batdr #batdr #bendy and the dark revival #okay but like #thank you guys?????????????? #the last post kind of blew up in comparison to my usual stuff and ?????????? #just???? i love all of you that interacted tbh #the RBs were so NICE ugh i want to put all of you in my pocket for safekeeping #anywho #ill get some more content for yall of these silly little goobers #or ill try #either way something will happen #these games have been living rent free in my neurodivergent brain since 2017 so i have plenty of juice #but whether my shriveled little husk of a hand will cooperate is unkown #wow these tags are devolving rapidly BASICALLY #im gonna try to revamp some of my old designs for the JDS staff. wow I struggled to articulate that #but if you read this far #have a wonderful day or night or whenever you see this :) #and DONT . sell your soul to bendy. no matter how nicely they ask. <3 #<- speaking from experience #sorry no im not

[mikkeneko]

watching Jiang antis go, as a Scum Villain reader, never ceases to be kind of wild

#I'm always like #why don't jiang antis just get into Scum Villain?? #the story you seem to want Wei Wuxian to be in #where he is a poor little cinderella so bullied and abused by the jiang sect #who resent his brilliance and work to undermine and suppress him #and whip him for no reason and force him to sleep under the docks #we already have this story! this is luo binghe's story!! #luo binghe is the poor little meow meow you want!! #the elaborate revenge fantasies I sometimes see jiang anti fics devolve into #are right there on the page in SV #well... I suppose that's not true. it's not in Scum Villain. #it's there in PIDW #which the entire point of Scum Villain as a story #is devoted to exploring why those fantasies are shallow and hollow #why even the abusive characters are never really that simple #and why the trope of the poor little cinderella rising into an unstoppable crushing power fantasy machine #is an empty story in the end #okay maybe I know why jiang antis do not get into scum villain #mxtx extended universe

[bowelfly]

menaces you

#i did not forsee that my artistic output in 2023 would so rapidly and overwhelmingly devolve into dumb little mspaint style line doodles of: #A) googly-eyed bugs #and #B) redwall ass shrew and mole monks #but here we are and at least i'm drawing something #bflyart #scribbles #mole #monk

[likesdoodling]

This was an idea I came up with while doing Kanji copy work, and the character '悪' (warui) in the Kanji dictionary I've been using just comes with a whole lot of example words, all of which are negative. Which was when I was like, "I can so imagine Atsushi quoting this at Akutagawa" Also one of the pronunciations is 'Aku' which while a different Kanji from the one used in the name 'Akutagawa Ryuunosuke', is still kind of funny. Hence 'malice' being pronounced as 'aku-i' and 'evil deed' as 'aku-ji'

Didn't really know how to draw Rashoumon, but I ended up going with dragon heads. Cause I feel like I've heard it described similar to dragons somewhere, and it was fun.

Also, kinda random but-

Writing Atsushi and Akutagawa shouting at each other is hilarious.

:D

#bungou stray dogs #OH YEAH #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #Learning kanji with Atsushi #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #kunikida doppo #ranpo edogawa #yosano akiko #YEYE #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #learning stuff #or at least i was #you gotta spice up copy work every now and again #honestly most of my writing practice devolves into little convos between atsushi and dazai #being like #AAAtsUShI KUUU~N #'Yes #Kunikida is too harsh! Kunikida san wa kibishii sugiru!/sugoku kibishii! #(I was learning kibishii/harsh/strict today) #'Ah. I see' ah. soudesuka #conversation continues to eventually landing on dazai's working habits/lack thereof #etc etc

[the-toybox-general]

AHHHH I've been playing Digimon Cyber Sleuth on and off again and I FINALLY digivolved my starting digimon ( Palmon ) all the way up to Rosemon !!! I wanted to sketch them for that reason... it took way longer than expected...!! But for that reason it feels like a big achievement!

This is specifically supposed to be my Rosemon ( His name is Squire ) but I think I could design him to have more of his own cool unique details as an actual Digimon oc !! So this is Squire... for now !!!

#my art #toybox-arts #Digimon #Rosemon #Cyber Sleuth is the first digimon game i picked up to ACTUALLY get a grip on the series #i played dusk as a child but i didnt understand it and gave up #So I didnt actually know.. palmon could become rosemon but as soon as i knew i was soo excited #one of those designs ive seen and gone crazy abt... what a cool design !!! #squire went by errm... #Palmon to Sunflowmon to Lillymon to Rosemon! #I mean . he has to devolve a time or two to get to rosemon but you know you know #i wanted to keep a bit of that silly creature energy from sunflowmon because it was so notable to me #so I tried to at least give this rosemon a little fang and funny mouth!!! #if anyone reads my tag ramble... ty... im very new to digimon but i am passionate at times yes #This was a good shake off sketch for da day.. i gotta get to owed artwork !! ( running off )

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Sorry, I will have something more coherent about the tragedy of this volume later but for now I had to make this before I ran out of energy.

[ID: An edited meme. The title, as if from a news article, reads "Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day". Underneath is an image of young Knives from Trigun Maximum, smiling sweetly with closed eyes. End ID.]

#the fact that he apparently spent what was probably months after tesla devolving into paranoia is so unbelievably tragic #but at the same time i'm looking at the way knives handled the fallout from his actions (including rem's death) like #'congrats little buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it' #trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #millions knives #trigun meme #storyrambles

[saltpepperbeard]

yes, but are you mentally ill and/or pirate-deprived enough to make gentlebeard in heroforge? 🫡

#OFMD #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Edit #this feels appropriate to launch into the tumblrsphere after i was foaming at the mouth over WHISPERS of clownery PFFFF #like hbo #listen #l i s t e n #i have devolved to the point of making tabletop/dnd dolls of these silly little guys to fill the Void okay #i miss them so much that i have to replicate them in any way that i can #WHICH OKAY LMAO #I was delighted to sneak bits of Borple into Ed's forge #LIKE PURPLE NAILS YEAAAAAHHH #And Heroforge allowing for two characters to be in one scene is absolutely EVERYTHING #A WEE BIT TOO DANGEROUS IF YOU ASK ME LMAO BUT #IT'S SOMETHING OF A BANDAID RIGHT NOW #SUSTAINING MEEEEE

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project.... #rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :) #i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well. #generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!! #there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #vettonso #bond au

[nixotinix]

Sooo I realized yesterday that I.. haven't *actually* updated my redesigns for JJ/HH from when I first joined MH Tumblr almost a year ago. And I figured since they've gone through so many iterations on this account, might as well make some more concrete redesigns with mini profiles to boot. So introducing the new and improved Jackson Jekyll & Holt Hyde redesigns! (+ Some closeups) (pls pls click)

I've got a couple notes about this Non-Descript G1 AU that they live in below the cut!

-English on their mom's side, Korean on their dad's side.

-Same as my 40k G3 fic, Holt's parents never actually GAVE him a name. So he used 'DJ' as his name until Draculaura helped him come up with the name 'Holt'. And thus his full name is DJ 'Holt' Hyde.

-Jackson wears clear jewelry in all of Holt's piercings, especially the facial piercings. They still have the shared yin-yang tattoo on the nape of their necks.

-Despite many beliefs in the monster community, blue skin is not indicative that a fire imp is half human. It's just a genetic mutation like blue eyes or red hair in humans. Though it is more common in half-fire imps than full blooded ones.

-There are, though, 3 main things that set Holt apart from other fire imps appearance-wise. 1: he doesn't have horns or a tail thanks to the confines of Jackson's human body. 2: his flames are a little droopier and look a little more like hair, again thanks to half human-ness. And 3: visible irises and pupils. Full-blooded fire imps have pure white eyes.

-Holt is fully willing to deck somebody who points any of those 3 things out.

-Holt also has blue pupils rather than black!

-Jax/Holt and Heath are actually friends here, even if Heath is sometimes disrespectful to his half-normie cousin.

-Jax is still the shy, nerdy kid who gets bullied, but overtime he starts to come out of his shell. Holt, on the other hand, was popular from the get-go and has a relatively high standing on the social pyramid. Definitely not teen royalty like some of his peers, but he's certainly more favoured than Jackson.

-Same as always, Jackson is about a foot taller than Holt.

-Holt and Catty are best friends. They collab a lot on different music and she introduced him to her boyfriend Pharaoh.

-Jackson's coat is a huge comfort object for him. It's made of wool and cashmere and he got it in London where he grew up. He's almost never seen at school without it, and he maintains and washes it regularly.

-Jax has a lot of those rubber bracelets from his favourite bands under his sleeves. Most of them are metal bands. Jax is a metalhead argue with the wall.

-

Hope y'all like the art and minor worldbuilding as much as I love these boys!! I hope to use these redesigns in some artwork soon enough huehue.

#monster high #holt hyde #jackson jekyll #hee ho ha ho im a funny lil art man #monster high fanart #monster high redesign #nix devolving into madness hours #jackson jekyll redesign #holt hyde redesign #holt has. a lot of piercings #he has a septum too but i didnt feel like drawing noses #i want the amount of swag that Holt Hyde Monster High has #WOW hes so cool #wanna smooch him frfr #wanna tuck him into bed at night and read him a story and give him a little cookie frfr

[artheresy]

My dynamic for Dan Feng & Yingxing

Hi hello, I said I would finally post this after long debating over if I show it here first or in my fic first, but fuck it. That’s a long ways away and I need to rant about them because they take up too much space in my brain.

So this post, isn’t me claiming that this is the canon dynamic between Dan Feng and Yingxing or that this is the only right one or whatever. This is purely my own view of what I think their dynamic would be based upon how I see their individual characters with the little bits and crumbs we’ve been given so far in HSR. I can’t go over every single aspect of them here because I just purely can’t think of every single thing so this is primarily going to be talking about the fundamental key parts of my interpretation of their dynamic! If that makes sense, I’ll hop right in

Be warned, this is pretty fucking long, I think so much about them it actually hurts me physically, like it’s painful. This is me just letting my autism run while talking about two of my favorites, so be cautious… sorry in advance if some areas turn into tangents, again I think about them so much its actually too much I think about them too much

AGAIN, THIS IS MY VIEW OF THEM!! Based on the characterization we have so far which isn’t a whole bunch, this is my interpretation of their relationship based on how I view the bits of characterization we have and what we know about them

—

Okay so one of the biggest and most fundamental parts that influences how I view their dynamic and the course of their relationship is looking at how exactly and why exactly I think they became close. Jingliu in her companion quest says:

I think this statement she makes “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud” is actually the foundation of why they get close and their dynamic works rather than an obstacle that they somehow overcome. Specifically, I think that it was Yingxing’s arrogance (partially genuine and partially a habit born for the sake of his own survival) that allowed the two of them to get close. When we see lines from Yingxing via Dan Heng’s memories or via the Mirage Echo, though he uses Dan Feng’s proper title, he seems to talk rather casually to him. Even in a tense situation as secretly being in Scalegorge Waterscape for research would seem, Yingxing still is very lighthearted and in some languages, even laughs a little as he banters with Dan Feng. I have my own headcanons for why he has this casualness to him, but either way it’s a genuine part of him and a part of his canon characterization. I think that casualness, a product of his confidence/arrogance and maybe a little of his obliviousness as well, allows for them to get close. It evens the playing field, Yingxing sees Dan Feng as his equal, as a person, as Dan Feng rather than as his position of Imbibitor Lunae High Elder of the Vidyadhara. I could speculate all day whether or not other people had treated him similarly before and he shot it down (there’s a lot of the actual evolution of the dynamic that I will write I swear), but I think there was something very unique in that casualness that Dan Feng might not have experienced before, not from anyone else, not from the other members of the HCQ he had met before. Perhaps even Yingxing’s background would play a part in how shocked by his behavior DF is. Either way, it is that casualness, that equalness unlike he had ever experienced before, mixed with all of Yingxing’s other characteristics such as his cheeky nature that manages to quickly break down Dan Feng’s walls and make him feel compelled to grow closer to YX. Whether their first meeting was via Baiheng and Jingliu or a chance encounter before they eventually join the HCQ, Dan Feng is coming away from that shell shocked by the sheer audacity of this short life species, feelings he first interprets as offense before he realizes he’s actually amused/interest in him, and Yingxing walking away like “Huh? That was the High Elder I guess. Seems nice, a bit stiff tho!” There is no worship of Dan Feng from his side for any reason, not for his skills, not for his position, not even as an unattainable ethereal beauty situation. He views him as just another person, an equal, and no part of him views DF in this cocky “he’s not unattainable bc I already have him” kind of way because…

—

Another fundamental in my personal interpretation of their relationship is that Yingxing doesn’t truly seek anything from Dan Feng nor does he ever necessarily try to pursue him. And all of this isn’t in an insecure “We’d never work” kind of product of overthinking way of choosing not to pursue him. Rather, it’s primarily because Yingxing doesn’t feel the need to. He doesn’t need his romantic feelinhs to be satisfied or fulfilled especially with the difference in their lifespans. As long as he can be by his side and stay close with him until his time comes to an end, Yingxing is truly perfectly content with that. A lot of this additionally stems from a certain place. That being that after he gets to know Dan Feng better and learns of the sheer pressure he endures due to his position, the choices he feels he’s forced into, the level of restriction, even with all of the influence Dan Feng still has, he doesn’t want to be an added source of pressuring or discomfort. To sum it up, Yingxing leaves the ball in Dan Feng’s court so he can act as he sees fit when he feels like it. There’s an added layer to this also of Yingxing not wanting to ruin the current state of their dynamic (a topic I’ll get into more). In the end, this is just yet another part of Yingxing that utterly pulls Dan Feng in. He is very used to being distrusting of others and refusing to get close to many people, primarily out of wariness of the potential ulterior motives people may have when befriending him. Contrastly, Yingxing doesn’t expect or even want anything from Dan Feng even the closer they get. Dan Feng can see that, and it makes him trust in Yingxing. Makes him trust to the point that he feels comfortable enough to make attempts pursuing Yingxing himself rather than meeting at a stalemate, refusing to go after a man Dan Feng knows won’t chase him as to not risk pressuring him and bc he’s fine with how things are. That isn’t to say though that Yingxing won’t respond to any attempts Dan Feng makes first though, because he absolutely will. Well… that is if he can recognize any attempts from Dan Feng at all because he can be rather oblivious in the face of people making advances at him-

An added part to all of this is that Yingxing with the way he acts, both in general and in this specific regard, ends up being part of what helps influence and encourage Dan Feng to do more to take what he wants, actually follow his desires in certain aspects rather than keeping up his stiff outer image and denying himself of everything for that sake of his position. The HCQ in general all have influence helping Dan Feng open up more like this, seizing things instead of either waiting for things on a platter or never having them. However, Yingxing's bold nature is definitely the strongest factor as he ends up helping Dan Feng learn to identify what he wants for himself. Whether that want is something as complex as moving forward in a relationship when not only has Dan Feng had very little experience with close connections to others, but also is so accustomed to the stillness of long life, or something as simple as taking breaks and time to himself to live and breathe and experience life moving around him. It's through Yingxing (and the rest of the HCQ) that Dan Feng learns to be more selfish. It's through all of their care and kindness and love that Dan Feng learns that he too is not merely a pillar to stand tall for his people. That he is a person with needs and wants, and it is perfectly fine to be selfish and prioritize yourself at times.

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So that previous section got into a little bit of Dan Feng’s trust in Yingxing, but what about Yingxing’s side of things? What about his trust in Dan Feng? I dunno what it is about him, but I feel like Dan Feng is the kind of person who can hear some of the deepest confessions and see the barest parts of the heart of someone he cares about and not treat them any differently like as if they are fragile y’know. Like Dan Feng is the person who Yingxing, out of all the HCQ, can truly confide in because he knows he won’t be seen different or treated in a drastically different way. Ultimately, Jingliu isn’t someone he feels he can go to for super emotional things which she likely herself knows she wouldn’t be able to help much with, Jing Yuan and him have a very light hearted joking dynamic that makes changing the tone and breaking the mood for a deep heart to heart much harder so he doesn’t often do it, and Baiheng… well, deep down Baiheng still sees Yingxing as that disheartened little boy, who had lost everything and was being told that there’s nothing he could do about it given his lifespan, that he couldn’t avenge what he had lost. If Yingxing were to tell her how he honestly truly feels about everything in his life, the traumas he still hadn’t overcome or the thoughts that plague him every day, he knows she would end up fretting over him, mother hen style. Being overly cautious as if his mind is made of glass, and as much as he loves her, he hates the idea of her changing how she treats him because of just how much she cares for him in turn.

(It’s a trait I see Baiheng having as to it being an obstacle in her other relationships like with Yingxing but works well in her relationship with Jingliu, caring for her and treating her softly, not underestimating her, in a way that others are too afraid to treat the unwavering, ice cold Sword champion! Matching DF and YX’s whole situation with his arrogance and casualness)

In the end, Yingxing feels like Dan Feng is the only one he can truly trust with the deepest corners of his heart and mind without worrying of Dan Feng either judging him or suddenly treating him like a fragile piece of porcelain. Even if he were to take note of something Yingxing told him and do something in response perhaps to ease his worries or heart ache, it would never be something out of pity or thinking Yingxing to be unable to take care of himself. Because ultimately, that’s where this all stems for Yingxing. He has lived so much of his life underestimated, whether having his skills and abilities questioned for being a short life species or sometimes intentionally sometimes unintentionally having his ability to take care of himself questioned like he needs a caretaker. Something that again is partially due to again to being a short life species. What Yingxing likes about Dan Feng is from the moment he met him, he doesn’t feel as if he is being questioned or underestimated. Dan Feng makes him feel as if he is truly seen as an equal, even with their distinct difference in power. It’s a treatment from Dan Feng that serves as a response to Yingxing’s own treatment of Dan Feng, his casualness to the other man making it clear he sees him as an equal as well.

And that? Well that is perhaps the most important part of the dynamic. In canon, they both have struggles with how they are seen and treated by others based on preconceived notions about their status. Dan Feng being in a way dehumanized as he is put up on a pedestal for being an incarnation of Imbibitor Lunae, for being the High Elder of the Vidyadhara, a position that he wants to escape because of the sheer loss of identity just a role brings. Yingxing being underestimated from the moment he stepped onto the Xianzhou because he wasn’t a long life species to the point that the other celestial masters on the Zhuming borderline bullied him into doubting himself, thinking a lot about his own death, and as a young boy (not even a teen yet), literally saying “Maybe I’ll never live to see the day my parents are avenged.” In my view of them, for them to truly be as close as they are established in canon, I think that from the start of their dynamic they make it very clear they see the other as a genuine and true equal in a way that other people haven’t or perhaps, can’t fully.

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I said this before my in Aurizzm Yingxing post, but yeah, I don’t think Dan Feng or Yingxing would have come into a romantic relationship with each other with any experience at all. I know Dan Feng with no experience is a very accepted idea, and I agree with it very much given his isolated position and his proud attitude and that 100% plays into my view of their dynamic. I also however, firmly believe Yingxing came in without any romantic relationship experience too. The difference here ends up being in how inexperienced each of them are. Yingxing has had a lot more friendship experience, and he’s experienced crushes before which is how he can identify his own romantic feelings better than Dan Feng. But he’s never actually been in any relationship. He’s never had the time, he’s got his own goals in mind while being painfully aware he’s on a time limit, and let’s be real like I said before, This Man is married to his Forge. Meanwhile, Dan Feng truly hasn’t had any friendships prior to the HCQ. Knowing him and her too, I firmly believe Dan Feng and Jingliu’s relationship for example, was for maybe a few decades, maybe a literal century, just them sparring without words from time to time. So Dan Feng not only going in with no friendship experience, but I think that man also is having to recognize some new emotions and feelings he’s never experienced nor can put words to. So Dan Feng’s disaster comes in being painful aware of the presence and intensity of his own feelings… he just doesn’t have the words nor experience to recognize exactly what those feelings are. It’s an absolute disaster on all fronts, somebody pray for the HCQ who unfortunately have to experience all of this.

There’s an added layer I want to go more into looking back at the first part of why their relationship works and the thing I said about the Baiheng trait. As we saw with Jingliu admitting to her feelings towards his attitude as a child, she wasn’t… she wasn’t really a fan so to say of his arrogance. And given y’know, what we see of the people of the Luofu, I don’t doubt many people have similar reactions. Part of Yingxing’s limited experience comes not only from his own decision to not pursue anything, I think part of it comes from being for whatever reason feeling distaste for him. Whether it’s their own prejudices against Outworlders, or his bold attitude and lack of formality that makes any interest they had in him end up flying away. Which ugh, makes it even more special that this attitude of his, born out of necessity for his own survival on the Xianzhou and for his ability to move forward in his craftsmanship after all he went through, which has pushed so many people away, ends up being the exact thing that allows him to get close to Dan Feng. IT’s UGGGHHH Sorry, but I just need to scream. I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THEM OKAY?? THEY TAKE UP TOO MUCH SPACE IN MY BRAIN, I CAN’T HAVE A SINGLE MOMENT OF REST BECAUSE OF THEM

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Again, this is my view of them and their dynamic based upon what we have been given in game so far, the crumbs of characterization we have. God I hope we get more. This isn’t me saying this view of them is canon or anything, this is just how I view them. This is the dynamic and thoughts that have grown like mold in my head from thinking about them WAY too much.

I have so much more I could talk about, certain specific things or things that don’t even immediately come to mind right now. If you want to ask more about how I view them or have some topic or aspect of them in mind, please hit me up. Either send something to my inbox or bust your way into my dms to talk about them. I love them so much. They mean the world to me.

And honestly? I could just make two whole separate posts also just about how I specifically characterize each of them, but I think I need to let my brain rest a bit.

And don’t think about this dynamic specifically in reference to how it could reflect on their current selves because you might just end up hurting yourself like I have. GOD I HATE THEM

#okay so I have so much more to say about df/yx but i wanted to take the tags to talk about rh #i want to make a separate post about them as well mostly bc of smth ill rant about here #the arguing between rh antis vs rh shippers has devolved into such a lack of nuance from both sides that its HURTING MY BRAIN #rh anti: ‘Blade HATES Dan Heng’ #yeah he does #but also its not a shallow kind of hatred #it’s a multilayer complicated hatred built on past feelings of regret betrayal and fundamentally a past love from yingxing #that is what the hatred we see (mostly amplified outwardly by the mara) is all built upon that is PART of the appeal its tragedy its doomed #it’s a loss of what was and how that influences its own unique dynamic different from df & yx #rh anti: ‘DH hates Blade’ also true but again #its become a complicated kind of dislike mixed with the shock and realization of who Blade USED to be and past memories coming back #additionally there’s a little something called character and relationship development where dynamics and characters change over the story… #rh shipper: ‘You’re saying Blade hates DH lol are we reading the same game’ YES WE ARE #YES HE DOES #He does hate him yes its a complicated kind of hatred as I already said but that doesnt erase that he does hold resentment towards Dan Heng #did none of you?? read the relic lore?? #if you believe that dan heng is destined to die with blade then you believe hes apart of that ‘final funeral to the unnamed’s life and #to everything he ever hated.’ …like guys why are we saying he doesnt hate him at all #it outright flies in the face of blade’s character to say he doesn’t hate him like HELLO? it’s just a complicated hatred #not nonexistent and like seriously the hatred again adds to the appeal of their dynamic #their tragedy lies in how their past forms were once close and through a shared sin plus some stuff to inspire Blade’s vengeance that #that relationship has been completely destroyed beyond repair under the weight of their sin #love replaced with an eternal hatred and remorse a betrayal grave enough to spark such violent revenge #is what makes rh appealing! makes their dynamic interesting and that dynamic developing further as threads of their past still linger but #alas arent the same as before fundamentally changed and unique to them again MAKES IT INTERESTING AND TRAGIC!! esp knowing blade will die #yingxing #dan feng #xingyue #renheng #honkai star rail

[sparkleresthold]

Rabid

Sparkeater!BW Megs au

#kinda had this idea for an episode a la Gorilla Warfare where Megan is on the receiving end of one of Tarantulas experiments #which quickly devolves into Megs completely snapping and going feral while hunting down the Maximals during a snowstorm #survival horror shenanigans ensue #he'd eventually return to his regular self by the end of the night with little to no recollection of what happened #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #beast wars #bw megatron #maccadam #my art