porcupine-girl

[porcupine-girl]

#fandom life

[porcupine-girl]

few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again

[porcupine-girl]

IG : @emperorofmischief

#RATTIES

[porcupine-girl]

anyways I updated my “which episode of yockeynatural are you” quiz

Keep reading

#hell yeah got Lily sunder #we’re doing that ep for the podcast next weekend! excited! #steve yockey

[porcupine-girl]

I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

I find it combination kinda funny kinda sad

[porcupine-girl]

If you are watching a TV show, it can be live action or animated.

But not when you're reading a book. Much to think about.

#I prefer real people who match the descriptions when possible #it’s just easier for my brain than coming up with whole new people all the time #but if nobody comes to mind I can make people up #I was psyched when Maggie Smith was cast as McGonagle because she was who I’d been imaging when reading the books anyhow #only time I’ve managed that trick

[porcupine-girl]

The Quinton Reviews video was actually the first time I ever heard of The Beverly Hillbillies, but Quinton's dad talks about it as if everyone should know it, like the Simpsons. My theory is that maybe it is because I didn't grow up in an english-speaking country, and I'm curious!

If you have no idea what youtube video I am talking about, I would still appreciate your vote! Just vote whether or not you are aware of the sitcom "The Beverly Hillbillies"

#even my kid has heard of it #he’s never seen it but he’s a big Weird Al fan #I had to explain what it is to him to explain the song

[porcupine-girl]

Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair

#especially the Google apps #I have yet to figure out how tf to open a file in a Google app if I have the URL #all I can do is open it on desktop so that now it’s in my drive’s history and I can get to it that way

[porcupine-girl]

My only real and valid writing tip is that you google every word you make up for your fantasy stories. That's It

#yeah learned this the hard way for Chinese names #I used one that is slang for penis in some country I forget which #not mainland China! #but somewhere #luckily a commenter pointed it out

[porcupine-girl]

#for future reference #reminders to self

[porcupine-girl]

HEY WAIT A MINUTE

I thought ppl made up Cardassians bickering to flirt to fit their Garashir fics. YOURE TELLING ME THAT WAS REAL THE WHOLE TIME???

#lmaooo #star trek #ds9

[porcupine-girl]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

#I’d never thought about most of this

[porcupine-girl]

Bird school

English added by me :)

#laugh rule #chinese

[porcupine-girl]

We were feeling pretty chuffed about having the #6 trending post on this website until we saw number 7 was a Supernatural mpreg edit

#when I tell you I snort-laughed #destiel meme #laugh rule

[porcupine-girl]

I wish more ppl on political debates just did this

[porcupine-girl]

Group of friends who are close because they all have the same superpower except no they don't.

[porcupine-girl]

Wangxian meet-"cute" idea

TW: mentions of mugging and a stabbing/blood

WWX is the proud owner a very sketchy sex toy/head shop (based on a local place that I've never been to but has the most ridiculous name and I would post it if it didn't reveal where I live lol. It has the word "thong" in the store name and that's not even the most questionable word, so... I'm sure it's super classy haha) and LWJ has recently moved to the "big city" from the little mountain town where he grew up.

So, LWJ goes into WWX's shop one night because it's the only place open and he needs to make change in order to use a payphone:

WWX: "WTF? Who uses a payphone? What century is this? Do those even still exist? What's wrong with you? Why don't you have a cellphone?"

LWJ: "It was stolen."

WWX: "Well don't use a fucking payphone. Use mine. Need to call someone to pick you up?"

LWJ: "Mn." *dials phone* "Hello, 911. I was mugged and have been stabbed as a result."

WWX: "YOU'VE BEEN STABBED AND ALL YOU ASKED FOR WAS A FUCKING QUARTER?!!!"

Anyway, WWX probably closes up early and goes along in the ambulance with this weirdly calm stabbing victim because LWJ mentioned being new to town during their way-too-chill wait for the paramedics and WWX can't just let him go through this completely alone.

Maybe WWX visits him in the hospital the next day and then the day after that LXC has flown in from another city so WWX is like "Oh good, you've got family to keep you company now. Get well soon!" and books it out of there because a nurse mistook him for LWJ's bf while he was asleep and WWX didn't immediately (or attempt at all to) correct her and he doesn't want to be around for that awkward as fuck moment, especially in front of the guy's brother lol

So WWX goes back to life as usual, except with new mats at the door and register of his little dildo & bong shop because it turns out that people bleed when they get stabbed and that blood tends to drip on the floor and bloodstained rugs aren't great for business. Go figure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And of course a week later LWJ walks in the door and immediately notices the rugs have been changed because both times he has been careful not to look directly at anything for sale in this very scandalous store that is run by a very wonderful (and handsome) man.

LWJ: "I will compensate you for the cost of replacing the rugs."

WWX: "Don't you dare. Also, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in the hospital where it's safe and not, you know, wandering around the neighbourhood that put you there to begin with??"

LWJ: "The hospital discharged me the same day you left. I've been resting comfortably at home."

WWX: "Oh cool. Good. Rest is important for healing and all that. But... why are you here?"

LWJ: "I didn't properly thank you for helping me, or for visiting me in the days that followed."

WWX: "No thanks necessary. I couldn't let you bleed to death for the sake of a quarter."

LWJ: "The nearest payphone is a ten minute walk in the opposite direction of the way I was headed. I am very grateful that you offered me your phone."

WWX: "No problemo. Did they catch the guy who mugged you yet?"

LWJ: "Not yet, but I have replaced my phone. It is an upgraded model from my previous one."

WWX: "Cool, cool... How do you like it?"

LWJ: "I am enjoying it so far, but I seem to be missing something that should be in my phone."

WWX: "Oh? I'm pretty good with phones and stuff. Maybe I can help. What're looking for?"

LWJ: *hands his phone over* "I cannot seem to find my boyfriend's phone number."

WWX briefly thinks "fuck, so he actually is gay but he's taken so I still have no shot" and then notices that LWJ has the slightest little grin on his lips and WWX is hit with the horrifying realization that he heard the boyfriend thing from that nurse.

WWX: "I can explain."

LWJ: "Mn."

WWX: "The nurse assumed I was your boyfriend because that makes way more sense than being literally a totally random dude, and I figured they'd kick me out if I was like 'lol no I'm a complete stranger' and while I was trying to think of a way to explain that wasn't that, she had finished changing your IV and was long gone."

LWJ: "Understandable."

WWX: "Then your brother showed up and he seems very nice but I didn't want to stick around long enough that I'd have to be like 'hey, I'm the guy from the cock & pot shop who is hanging around your hot little brother's hospital room pretending to be his boyfriend apparently because that's not creepy as fuck. nice to meet you' so I kinda bailed while you were napping. Sorry."

LWJ: "No apologies necessary." *looks at his phone as WWX hands it back to him* "Hm..."

WWX: "What's wrong?"

LWJ: "I was assured on the internet that this would work, yet I did not get your phone number. No matter, I won't bother you again. Thank you again for your kindness."

LWJ turns to leave and WWX reaches over the counter and grabs his hand. They just stand there for 20 seconds staring at each other while LWJ tries to figure out why WWX isn't saying anything and WWX tries to figure out if he really heard what LWJ just said.

WWX: "You want my number?"

LWJ: "Mn. I was hoping to invite you out for dinner."

WWX: "Like a date?"

LWJ: "Only if you're comfortable with that. Or we could have dinner as friends, if you prefer."

WWX: "DATE. Uh, date. Please. Date."

LWJ gives him a small smile as he hands his phone back over for WWX to add his contact info, and WWX nearly dies because he's so damn handsome and he wants to take him out on a date. WWX shouldn't be grateful to a violent criminal, but how else would they have met? He has no restraint and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself

WWX: "Wow. Lucky you got stabbed by that guy, huh?"

LWJ: "Mn."

WWX: "Fuck. I take that back. I mean, I do feel pretty lucky our paths crossed, but, uh, you probably feel less lucky for the whole... getting stabbed thing."

LWJ: "I feel fortunate as well. Although..."

WWX: "What?"

LWJ: "The internet also misled me about how easy it would be to get a date in the city. I hope I don't have to risk another potentially-fatal injury for a second date."

WWX: *takes a second to realize LWJ is joking again because he's so dry in his delivery* "No, definitely not. No more injuries please. I have some bubble wrap that you can roll yourself up in between now and then while you-- Wait. Did you say second date? Maybe you should hold off on that and see how you feel. People usually get tired of me after the first date."

LWJ: "I am not tired of you yet. I look forward to our second date."

WWX: "Please tell me you're not somehow counting getting stabbed as our first date. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my dates to be like, not slipping in and out of consciousness due to blood loss or whatever."

LWJ: "At the hospital. You ate my jell-o and made a comment about being a cheap date."

WWX: "You remember that? I thought you were too hopped up on morphine or whatnot."

LWJ: "I remember."

WWX: "I-- You know what? Fuck it. Yes. Let's count it. That takes the pressure off. Bring on date #2!"

LWJ: "I promise the food will be better this time."

It's almost closing time so WWX tells LWJ to have a look around while he finishes up, then grins as LWJ's ears get increasingly red as the minutes go by. It's very cute. WWX locks up and then starts tagging along giving recommendations. LWJ seems surprisingly receptive and WWX is tempted to drag him off to the stock room right then and there but he doesn't know how long it takes for wounds to heal and a quickie isn't worth ripping stitches or something like that so instead he says that he's hungry and they head out on their second date.

---

A dozen years later, Sizhui is having a slumber party with a bunch of friends and Jingyi asks LWJ "did you really get stabbed once?" and WWX launches into the whole story (minus the part where LWJ browsed through sex toys because the kids are only 10 or so here) complete with the gory/bloody stuff given in full detail because WWX is a "cool dad" like that

JL: "I don't think this story is appropriate for children..."

OYZZ: "I think it's romantic!"

WWX: "You're right. It's romantic as fuck."

LWJ: "Wei Ying, language."

WWX: "Oh shit. Right. My bad."

LJY: "Do you have a nasty scar? Can I see?"

LWJ: "Eat your food."

LSZ: "I think it's romantic too."

OYZZ: "I hope I get stabbed someday..."

LJY: "When I get stabbed, I'm gonna make sure there's someone cute nearby to take care of me too."

WWX: "Uh... kids--"

JL: "You idiots. You shouldn't want to get stabbed."

LJY: "I know, but I think I'll probably get stabbed someday, so why not both?"

LWJ: "I do not recommend this method."

WWX: "Your parents will never let you kids come over again."

Sizhui is completely unphased by any of this lol

#the untamed #wangxian