#whatever we want we'll get with better writers in ao3

[lovebugs-and-snakecharmers]

LBSC Sprint Challenge December 2023

(Sprint art by @verfound, find the original here)

It's become a tradition that we do a Secret Santa Sprint Challenge on our discord server for December, so we're not posting new prompts for this month. However, you can still:

Pick any previous challenge prompt, or play LBSC Smooch Roulette to generate a prompt!

We'll be posting our Secret Santa pieces between 12/22 and 12/29, so you have until Friday, December 29 to complete your 3 15-minute sprints/45 minute art sprint and post the results. Once you’ve completed the sprints, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions and make it feel complete, and whatever work you feel appropriate to get your art to a state you consider ‘finished’).

Please note you may sprint in the language of your choice, and you can either translate the final fic before posting, post it in the original language, or both as you choose. You can join us on the LBSC discord or sprint on your own! Just be sure to tag @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers in your final post so we will see it and reblog it. The rest of the rules can be found here under the cut.

Rules!

We’ll post a beginning and end date to the challenge, and a prompt.

Writers, If you choose to participate in the event, write for that prompt in up to three 15 minute sprints. No writing outside the sprints until you have completed all three! After the 3 sprints are complete, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions, etc). You can also choose to break that 45 minutes up differently if you find a different split works better for you.  After those 24 hours, post what you’ve got. Tag your posts with @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers so we can reblog it to the LBSC blog. If you post your work on AO3 or somewhere other than Tumblr, you can leave a link in our ask box or in the appropriate discord channel so we can be sure to promote it. After the designated challenge end date, we’ll compile a listing of the submissions and post it to the LBSC blog.

Feel free to sprint in whatever language is most comfortable to you! You can post it in your own language or translate it before posting, or both!

Artists, you have 45 minutes to sketch and 24 hours to do any cleanup or coloring you’d like to complete. You can split your 45 minutes up however you like, or not at all. There’s no requirements on your finished piece, just aim for whatever goal seems challenging but achievable to you.  Tag your posts with @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers so we can reblog it to the LBSC blog. If you post your work on Instagram or somewhere other than Tumblr, you can leave a link in our ask box or in the appropriate discord channel so we can be sure to promote it. After the designated challenge end date, we’ll compile a listing of the submissions and post it to the LBSC blog.

If you’re wavering as to whether or not you think you can accomplish anything in 45 minutes, we really encourage you to give the challenge a try. You may be surprised what you can do! Feel free to join us in the discord linked above so we can encourage and cheer you on.

Obviously, this has to run a bit on the honor system and we won’t be tracking your times, but please do your best to honor the spirit of the challenge! If your sprint fic becomes an Entire Thing (these things happen sometimes) and you want to continue it, feel free! However, please still post whatever you’ve got after your 3 sprints with the tag. No fair busting out a fully polished fic or art without showing us what it looked like at the challenge stage!

We want to keep this a positive space and event! This does NOT mean that you can’t write or draw anything critical of a character or episode, but it isn’t the space for character bashing or hate either. Please keep the characters in character and save the more speculative work for another time. NSFW sprint works are permitted but must be tagged appropriately (please use “NSFW LBSC sprint challenge” for easy filtering on the blog) and with appropriate warnings.  (More FAQ about the process here)

This is a Lukanette blog and a Lukanette event, so while Lukanette does not need to be the main ship, it needs to at least be included or referenced and considered endgame (in other words, they don’t have to be together by the end of your work, but the intent is that they’re headed in that direction). The decision about what qualifies for reblog rests solely with the LBSC moderators. If a piece hasn’t been reblogged within a couple of days, either the mods felt the piece didn’t meet the criteria or it was simply missed; you are welcome to reach out in the asks to inquire which. There are plenty of other spaces out there for other ships and OT3s, and people are welcome to use the challenge rules and prompts to write for their own ships! They just won’t be reblogged to the LBSC blog, and we ask that you please not use the event tag (a modified form is fine - “InsertAlternateShipName sprint challenge” instead of “LBSC sprint challenge,” for example).

Happy sprinting!

#lbsc sprint challenge #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #pro lukamari

[bookish-bogwitch]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @alleycat0306, @cutestkilla, and @ileadacharmedlife for tagging me in this game!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 22, but I think of only 16 of them as "real" fics. The others are podfics, the pornbot meta, random stuff I could've just left on tumblr, etc.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

108,039. If you subtract the words I didn't write (like 97% of Birthday Man and add words the AO3 didn't capture because they're in screen shots (like Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow), it's more like 75k.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Carry On exclusively. I did set out to write a Buddy Daddies fix-it fic right after the series finale but abandoned it because (1) I actually just wanted to read BD fic, not write it, and (2) omg, it is so much harder to write for a TV show where there's not an existing written author voice to imitate.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ready or Not (20,698 words) Kudos: 460

Missing (8,823 words) Kudos: 422 (co-written with @oxi-is-a-moron)

Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow (12 words that AO3 can count, more like 5k in the screenshots) Kudos: 328

Birthday Man (39,132 words, of which about 1k are mine) Kudos: 178

Size You Up (6,850 words) Kudos 133

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love getting comment responses and engaging with writers that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That has to be What Eats You, but it wasn't angsty for Snowbaz, only for Lamb. 😂 Ooh, and the ending of Missing was sort of angsty--though again, not really for Snowbaz--but I didn't write that part, @oxi-is-a-moron did. (So it's not boasting to say that it's beautiful 🥺.) I have a WIP idea that's still just a summary paragraph. It's extremely angsty with a bittersweet-at-best ending, and I will only ever write it if I decide it hurts more to keep it in my head than to let it out.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything's a Story. Because the ending is Baz pandering to ME.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, but it's been less than a week since I posted the fandom's first bestiality fic, so we'll see.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes--about half my "real" fics are mature or explicit. I find it very very challenging to write, it takes a lot longer than other writing, I think because my discomfort makes me very self-critical. I've come to realize that the sex has to have emotional / narrative significance for me to want to write it--the one time I wrote a sex scene where the whole point of it was sex, I cringed afterward. (Tbf to baby me, it was my first explicit fic and second fic ever and unbetaed, so whatever.) I guess I can deal with writing smut a little better if it's super cracky but even then, I'd want to keep it brief.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, probably wouldn't. I've thought about "what if Snowbaz time traveled and met Kim and Will from the Will Darling Adventures" but it would be pretty boring my only thought is "they're the same, huh?" (For the record I would read the hell out of that crossover.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I love collaborating. For WIPfest I finished @facewithoutheart's WIP, What Eats You?. And @oxi-is-a-moron finished my WIP, Missing. And there was Birthday Man, the Simon's b-day round robin with probably most of you reading this. AND @ic3-que3n and I wrote our bizarre tell-all confessional about the pornbots together. And this spring @ivelovedhimthroughworse and I spent a lovely spring day writing to prompts and thought we'd memorialize it. Honorable mention to @ic3-que3n's art in Behind the Magic. Technically I wrote the words (it was CORBB) but the concept was their idea and we did so much scheming and giggling that it felt like co-writing.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Malmage.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None. I have a long google doc of ideas but don't really think of something as a WIP until it gets is own file and I start writing. I tend to only have 1-2 WIPs going at a time, and right now there's only one, Basil Pitch's Diary. (Of which ~ 200 words are posted but I have 20k+ and plan to start posting after COC.) So, none. If I ever start the aforementioned angst fest there's a good chance I'll bail partway through.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm funny. I'm told I am good at mixing humor and sex and angst. I have come up with some original concepts. I commit to the bit.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

While I might have original concept ideas, I'm weak on worldbuilding. I tend to stick squarely within the canon-verse. I've never written an AU. My only OC was a sentient mop. I've never even written a villain, I don't think. I struggle with making the MCs do things that I wouldn't do myself, for good or bad. (For instance, I've written almost zero love confessions and tend to write around them because I've never love-confessed to anyone I wasn't already dating and even imagining it makes me want to vanish in a puff of smoke.) I am a very slow writer--I'm in awe of people who can bang out thousands of words in a day, or go from idea to execution in hours. If I can manage a steady 200 words a day, not including editing, that's pretty fast. This pace makes it hard to picture writing a really long fic, ever.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never really thought about it. It could be nice for scene-setting; I love all the Norwegian in @scone-lover's Northern Downpour, it really adds to the atmosphere, and the German in @spockzilla's Twelve Days of Christmas cracked me up. The lack of translations made it that much funnier when I finally looked it up myself, or when the meaning was obvious. (Guten Abend, meine kleinen Twinks!) So--maybe someday?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Carry On

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ready or Not. It's the only thing I've written that I've also read for my own entertainment.

Tagging everyone mentioned above, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @skee3000, @thewholelemon, @facewithoutheart, @hushed-chorus, @captain-aralias, and @nightimedreamersworld.

#tag game #self-indulgent #shameless self-promotion #writing about writing

[zmediaoutlet]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged to do the do by @prince-of-elsinore, ty ty for thinking of me

How many works do you have on ao3?

211 (and elsewhere, maybe a dozen we don't talk about, bc they suck, on livejournal; maybe a couple dozen short pieces here on tumblr that have never migrated to ao3)

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,515,103

What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all Supernatural, but also some video game fandoms (FF, DA, maybe BG3 soon), MCU, etc. usual suspects.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. oh so good, oh so fine -- 993 kudos 2. there will be better days -- 846 kudos 3. see things so much clearer -- 621 kudos 4. into the flood again -- 602 kudos 5. side two, track one -- 558 kudos maybe someday we'll break 1000, lol

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely I do, and would find it rude not to. I know other people have all kinds of reasons they don't respond but I don't have any of those reasons, especially since I'm pathetically grateful every time someone bothers to say they liked something, lol. If anyone's even a tiny bit encouraged to become a repeat reader by the writer responding, I want to encourage that as much as possible. Plus, every once in a while, you can get a dece conversation going in the comments! Find a like-minded fan! That's worth any effort to compose a few sentences of thanks. The only comments I don't respond to are emoji strings or cut-and-paste 'another kudos here' comments, because they're not actually comments. (I appreciate the thought, but... I don't want them.)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have had some beta friends who would argue about this one, lol. I guess the saddest is probably the hollow summer, since the whole plot is kind of hurt/no comfort. I don't believe in a successful boy king, let's say that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, probably depends on how you define 'happy'. glory days is probably the most cheerful; for me, the happy comes better with more experience behind it, so the thirty-third yard would maybe be my personal choice.

Do you get hate on fics?

nope; worst I ever got was some twerp who actually responded to someone else's comment, bitching that I didn't put the right peepee in the right poopyhole. But only one of those, ever, and safely ignored. idk, I don't attract that much.

Do you write smut?

...yes.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

only one, and it only sort of counts -- i heard love was blind, which is Cordell Walker/Dean Winchester, but of course the point is that Dean's getting the body of his brother by other means. I like crossovers but I usually want there to be a point beyond 'let's mash these two faves together and see what happens'; I'm more inclined toward doing a whole-universe fusion, e.g. fully placing characters with what you can salvage of their key backstory elements into a universe not their own... which I guess would also count as a crossover, wouldn't it. so I also did that with putting the Winchesters into the Dragon Age 2 plot, in whatever we were before. definitely 'crazier' than the first one here, lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think that's the kind of thing that happens on WattPad. Who cares.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried; it didn't work. Both people need to be contributing to the writing for it to really count as 'co-written'; nevertheless it's stuck with both author names on ao3 because I don't think there's a way to change that.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think from context this should be clear. Although will also forever hold many small candles for the little guys.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the aforementioned "co-written" fic, which was meant to be a huge series. The first fic is finished because I brute-forced my way through it, but there was a full five-season arc we were going to try to get through. Alas. The first one is decent, though, and works as a complete fic on its own: In a Cursed Hour.

What are your writing strengths?

voice, pacing, naturalism; characterization, though that can be argued in a fan-space

What are your writing weaknesses?

plot -- I find it intensely boring. Avoidance of plot then tends to flatten stories into similar non-arcs; I don't mind that, but it's a skill to exercise.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'll only do Spanish, and that's only because I studied it for eight years. Even then it's usually the wrong choice, unless it's a fully blended multilingual story (which most are not, and in the wrong hands it comes off as absurd); better to convey through the POV character either understanding it or not, and dealing with it in narrative instead of straight dialogue. Although a word or two here or there is nbd, clearly.

First fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy VIII

Favorite fic you've written?

well, questions, you got me, because I don't believe in favorites. at this moment in terms of writing skill I think the best might be asceticism, but in terms of one that sits in my head and fully just is canon, lol, it might be there will be better days, mentioned above. the only heaven fic I need. I guess that says something.

kind of interesting to look at the stats, if also stressful. let's get some other writers to be interested/stressed -- uhh @redmyeyes, @phynali, @hellhoundsprey, @stillwaterseas, @whiskeycherrypie

some shots in the dark :)

#i kinda like this small text thing #i mean i need to get out my old lady readers but #keeps it tidy #writing meme

[monty-glasses-roxy]

i'm all ears for the book idea homie

You would not believe the confusion of this ask because I completely forgot about that post lmao

Anyway, yeah I thought it would be cool if we, as the fnaf community, made our own fnaf short story series for funsies. I was thinking without considering how to do it, so in my head I was saying it would be dope as hell if a bunch of us writers and artists got together and did a little series of spooky horror story fnaf books that followed the same format as the actual books, but with more art stuff for the artists to join in and... better writing in a lot of cases lmao. I was thinking of physical books at the time like how I've seen some some of those big community zines that raise money for charity but I have no idea how to do that so...

Now that it's not stupid in the morning before I've slept, the easiest way to do something like this I guess would to like... make a PDF maybe? Three stories per 'issue' I guess and release it for free of course! (Unless someone knows how to make 'pay what you want' with any money gained going to a good charity? I dunno. This would just make it optionally free) Someone could do epilogues for each one, so one long story over however many we make, which could be fun.

Could put it on a Neocities (which is a free website thingo that's also free to view) or something too. I dunno, it could be fun though! One collaborative project, linking together writers from different corners of the overall fnaf fandom to do what the source material is doing but better... that'd be pretty fucking cool ngl

The overall idea of what's actually getting written and stuff is where I'd pobably lose people though. The idea is basically 'do what the books are trying to do but better', as in... 'expand on the fnaf universe in short, fnaf themed stories' and not 'Blorbo Adventures: The Twink Robots Kiss' kind of stuff. So like... new animatronics, new attractions, new Fazbear themed horrors, people dying or whatever, possessed robots, terrible business decisions, elaborate coverups and... I dunno I've not read that many lmao but you get what I mean. Basically, do what you want, go crazy, just don't write your Canon Blorbos as you normally would if you were posting on Ao3.

I suppose it's like... Fazbear themed original fiction? Kind of? It could include re-imaginings of stuff of course, since that's part of what's in these books to begin with, but I still think it's probably not fan community oriented enough to ever see the light of day, ya know? Would be really fucking cool though!

Could do an interest check on it I suppose? How many people hate the books so much or want to write general spooky stories enough to join a poject like this? I dunno. If this post gets enough traction, I'll do a proper interest check and we'll see about it.

Also if none of this makes sense, you can for sure ask for clarification my brain is... not braining today :(

#dunno where I'd start with it though #and how do you convince fandom people to write a short story that doesn't focus on blorbos? #obviously it COULD but like... the idea is books but better because we could so EASILY do better than them #which means sentient robots is uhhh probably something you'd only be able to imply? I dunno... #I dunno how to explain it #other than 'idea of the book series but we do it better because we can' #does that make sense? hmm #pop rox answers

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

Headcanon - Delta Nano Development Part 2 - Code Expansion

Okay, so you know about the code expansion explanation in the last headcanon I wrote that was based around how Robot Masters were experiencing things, including Rock, Night Man, and especially Blues?

Well I did also say that Blues' Independence development was a big part in the development for X's free will AI. That is way more advanced than Blues', not for the fact that it can just evolve faster. That wouldn't be possible without the data collected on code expansion on Robot Master's experiences themselves, and studying what the properties of the Roboenza can do on Robotics itself and developing the technology to prevent any viruses from corrupting X's data.

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3!!

Reading @oofitsbethi's "Fallen Savior" fanfic, I thought that was definitely an interesting concept, and it definitely made the most sense. Since, to my knowledge, I do not think X's AI was ever explained in canon, and I hardly ever think of stuff like this on a dime. I usually ask other friends for help on stuff unless I know everything about the lore itself and how it works in canon. What I can do to change it slightly but still make it work.

I had my fair share of doing stuff like that in the Transformers fandom (albeit, I was still a beginner writer back in the day- any of you guys remember what fanfic I wrote, whaddup), so I had plenty to work with, and there was a lot to go off of in terms of terminology and mechanics, technology, hardware and software wise in terms of how machines and the Cybertronians themselves worked.

Here, for the Megaman fandom, from my understanding, we get the basics of how the Robot Masters work and what they do, and that's it. We get a few tidbits here and there for actual mechanics, but that's about it. We barely get an understanding of how X's AI even works. And it's based on variations of how it does, based on what version of the X series you're looking at.

All of those variations make sense if we put them all together and make it a less cohesive and complicated AI on what it can do. Since it's supposed to be forming what leads to X's potential. Same thing for his free will and how fast the code expands internally and doing whatever the fuck he wants.

Of course, some explanations of this coding needs specifics as well, such as the expanding code preventing viral infections as mentioned previously.

This is an explanation of more than just the "magic" element to Delta Nano, now, isn't it? Well, I don't blame you, since it does touch upon the technicalities of technology and the energies behind certain powers.

Now, I'll also go into a brief tangent that Delta Nano isn't equipped with chips officially. Hoooo nononono. They are installed into the Reploid's system once they're tweaked to their liking, and it's been tested multiple times. Axl and Lumine's cases are exceptions to this rule- sort of.

See, they have crystals they still use, the first four being prototypes, so they're unstable, and the other four are perfected, so they're controlled better by their owner aka Lumine. It doesn't have to be strictly connected to crystals, per say, but they do have the option to use crystals, and it's usually used up to four or less. Mostly one or two, since most reploids who want to use it don't know if they'll feel well controlled to use up to four, which is an understandable reason. It’s a breeze for both Axl and Lumine, but that doesn’t mean it’s a breeze for any other Reploid.

Would X want to have Delta Nano, is the next question. And to answer said question, no he wouldn’t necessarily want it. Now, his armors do come with them overtime, though they still aren’t utilized within his regular everyday armor. As he doesn’t use his armors very much to begin with, except with the moment for them to be presented and that's pretty much it. The exception being the Blue Jay Armor, but we'll also have to get into that another time.

He doesn’t feel he needs them. Except, he didn't realize he had it all this time, except it’s not brought out to its full potential. The Blue Jay armor harbored his Blue Jay wings he obtained, and his own code expanded to keep them after realizing he could, especially after Zero had acquired his own wings, them being Phoenix wings.

What about Zero's dark powers, you also may be asking? Well, that just staves off from the evil energy and maverick virus he master carries. Along with the experiences and memories he gained since being found after gaining amnesia. I'll probably make a part two to that as well. Maybe.

But that's all I'll input unless I make more development on Delta Nano again.

#vincent rambles #code crimpphire headcanons #headcanons #delta nano development part 2

[asylos]

Let's Talk About Legacy

First of all, watch this video. Yes, it's long, but believe me, there is so much meaning in it. I want to talk about some things near the end.

I want to talk about how this spoke to me as a creative.

Because I share a lot of the feelings that the host does. The thoughts about what of my work is being left to represent me. I can't articulate it well, so a ramble.

I turned of Kudos emails on AO3 several years ago because one of the fics I wrote that kept getting all of the positive feedback wasn't one that I poured my soul into. It was one that I had felt I'd barely put any effort into, and why was this going to be the work that represents me? Why was this going to be the work that stands the test of time, this quickly thrown together piece, and not something else that I had dedicated hours to? Please do not be mistaken, I am grateful for the comments and kudos I get. I hate that my brain can't be happy with the things I create. It's never good enough. It will never be good enough. Nothing I create is as good as this thing I threw together, and it seems nothing ever will be.

I had these same feelings as a teen when I entered a contest with both a poem and a short story, and the poem won second prize in the poetry side, and the story received no recognition. I wasn't a poet, I only entered a poem because I could. I was a writer of stories. This was a rejection of the things that mattered to me, not a success. (I have come to terms now that one can be both a poet and a writer of stories, and that there is nothing wrong with either.)

As one of the interviewers says, maybe humility is recognizing that we aren't going to be in charge of deciding how we'll be remembered, we don't get to decide what's valuable in terms of art.

And that's a difficult thing to take in, to absorb into yourself and make part of your truth. But it's true. And isn't that a better way to look at it? Wouldn't it be better to take a step back, and appreciate that this piece that vexes me so has found a place of worthiness in the heart and minds of others? It doesn't matter what it was to me, it's gone out into the world and become something else.

"In the end, the production of the work is only half of the process, and maybe all that matters is that someone, somewhere, got something from whatever you created."

#miri writes #personal thoughts #Youtube

[nightingaleflow]

17-35 :)

Holy shit Nisi. XD

But fine, here you go.

(17) What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

LeeSaku soul mate AU.

I just need it ok.

(18) If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

I'll answer for Crystal since I have a sequel in mind anyway.

It would center around Rubi, Aki and Gaara's daughter, who wants to become the first female Kazekage, and everything she goes through in pursuit of that goal.

(19) If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

WYAAN for this one.

I really just want to drop a bunch of Naruto characters in Disney World purely because I think it would be funny.

(20) If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

Crystal again.

Founders-era fic about the Kamiya clan coming to power.

(21) If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

I guess it would be filling in more of the blanks from when Aki was out on her own. How she survived, her training with the centipedes, etc.

(22) Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

Crystal: Aki of course. <3 She's my first OC and the protagonist of my first fic. I also love her inner fire. WYAAN: Holly. Because she's me given fic character form. <3

(23) What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Soul Mate AU <3

(24) Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

WYAAN: There are literally so many in just the first few chapters I don't have the space for them all.

But for a specific example: Holly's brownies that she puts in the fridge in chapter 3 are gonna be important later.

(25) What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

Google Docs is where I write. AO3 is where I get my inspiration. Grammarly (the free one) is how I double check grammar stuff.

(26) Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

Only dialogue. I'm not sure I could tell any sort of meaningful story with writing alone if I didn't have dialogue.

(27) How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

Crystal: I started working on the planning stages fall of last year. A year later, we're at 17 chapters and counting. I assume it'll probably take me two more years to finish it, but we'll see when we get there.

(28) Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

Yep! Weather Boy (aka my husband) is my beta reader.

(29) What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

WYAAN: So WYAAN actually has a soundtrack in the works on Spotify. It's not finished by any means, but have a look:

Some songs are just character descriptions, some will be diegetic, and some are just there to set the mood.

(30) Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Probably the little dirty talk fic between Karin and Suigetsu (warning: Explicit). I hadn't written for either of them before, so making believable dirty talk between the two really made me stretch my writer muscles.

It didn't really change anything with my writing other than make me a little more confident.

(31) What’s your ideal fic length to write?

Whatever amount of words will complete the story I want to tell, though longer is better.

(32) What’s your ideal fic length to read?

Long as balls. Give me the 50k+ fics all day.

(33) If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

For Crystal, I generally aim for 3k - 4k.

For WYAAN, it's closer to 6k - 7k, though that's because I have more characters to wrangle.

I'd say it's about the same as what I look for. I tend to squint when a story has 10k words with 20 chapters.

(34) What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

A lot of details about my OCs - personality traits, physical details, life details, interests, etc. For example: Tori and Holly wearing glasses and being interested in creativity, Mariana being a theatre kid, and Nezumi being socially awkward all come from me.

(35) What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

Sadly, I am not a ninja IRL, and so all the stuff about "jutsus" and "epic battles" aren't real.

Sure wish I was a ninja though.

~

Thanks for the asks, Nisi. <3

Question for fic writers

#ask nightingale #wind-becomes-lightning

[monimolimnion]

I posted 11,344 times in 2022

That's 4,097 more posts than 2021!

35 posts created (0%)

11,309 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jollyfanasties

@itsrapsodia

@charmps-you-grickly

@freakinflipflop

@4ragon

I tagged 4,014 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 1,064 posts

#wwdits - 917 posts

#queue - 109 posts

#goncharov - 92 posts

#unreality - 74 posts

#seascape tag - 68 posts

#help - 48 posts

#lauren - 46 posts

#drawtectives - 35 posts

#oh my god - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the day after i saw this post for the first time i hung out with my friends and we had the most cursed conversations in ubers both there and

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Kindred [Chapter 12 + Epilogue]

name: Kindred fandom: Ace Attorney | Gyakuten Saiban pairing: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright wordcount/chapters: 13/13, 96k additional tags: miles adopting pess: the fic!, it'll take a while but we'll get to narumitsu eventually i promise, set during disbarment but no AJ spoilers bc i haven't played it yet, Plot Lite(TM), very mild disbarment-typical angst, Slow(ish) Burn, References to / characters from AAI 1&2 but no major spoilers, COMPLETE!

summary:

Her ears prick up at the sound of his voice, but she doesn’t move. "You'll have to forgive me, I'm afraid. I suspect that I am not very good at this." Miles would feel silly to an extreme for speaking to her like this, except for the way that Pess thaws, ever so slightly - her tail twitches, her head dips a little from its stiff posture, and she huffs out a long breath, heavier than her shallow meter from before. "I'm aware you don't understand me, but I am quite certain that I understand you, Pess, at least a little. And I want you to know you are safe with me in this house, and that this will be your home so long as you are happy here.”

Against his better judgement, Miles Edgeworth adopts a dog.

Read it on AO3!

74 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

#4

not to bang on about it, but i think the Goncharov Phenomenon and the new Defunctland video being released at the same time is kind of. apt?

in the documentary Kevin spends an hour and a half in agony about his existence as a youtuber/artist/documentarian, agony i recognise and deeply resonate with, and comes to the conclusion that work doesnt have to be "great" to be worth it. that seriousness and importance is not something worth trading off joy for. that it's not actually a bad thing necessarily that sketches and memes take off and stuff you worked hard on doesn't, even if it feels bad in the moment

his point being that creativity is worth it even in isolation, that even the "real" virtuosos have no regrets about producing work that is less important, and that it's about whoever you touch with the work, no matter how shallow or simple the work may seem, and no matter how shallow or simple the impact might be on whoever you touched.

you still touched them, didn't you?

i think it's obvious why this resonates with me quite so much - in a fandom context, as well as where that intersects with my work in games, my ideas for novels that might not get anywhere, and what i "should" be doing to be considered a proper writer

and that's why goncharov is such a fantastic fucking example.

the entire POINT of goncharov is that it doesn't mean anything. and because of that, it can mean everything at once. the outpouring of creativity in unison from seemingly all corners of tumblr is no less beautiful because it is couched in memery and an inside joke. the analysis speaks just as much about the context of our zeitgeist as it does the film that doesn't exist. the art, the writing, the music. everyone taking whatever craft they've built for themselves and using it to reach out to each other for no reason other than it's fun.

it is worthy of doing, in and of itself.

my god. humans just need an excuse to create beauty sometimes because we'll do it about fucking anything. and i think that's wonderful

90 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

#3

ok. hear me out. i have thoughts about nandor’s list of ideal wife traits.

ive seen posts that are like 'it's a list of traits guillermo has!' reading it as a nandermo hint, as well as posts that say 'guillermo has the exact opposite of those traits to show that nandor is in denial' and i really don’t think it’s a direct 1:1 of either of those at all

it's pretty clear to me that the list is first of all much more literal than that - the show isn't always trying to indicate something aside from literally what it's talking about (the traits of the wives he re-deaded during the montage) and while i love reading into things as much as the next guy i think this list really was just written to serve the joke more than anything

BUT. but. it's also something that is much more indicative of nandor's inner workings than it is a straight up list of things he likes about guillermo but won’t admit to because, well, let's list the traits -humble, an excellent listener, not petty or slovenly or vain or manipulative, never asked him to shave off his beard, not smarter than him, warm and wanted to be with him (🥺), kind, a good haggler, merciful, horny, and has a sense of spontaneity and fun

to me this reads almost as if it's a classic comphet 'oh i just have high standards' kind of bent thinking. half of the traits seem to actively contradict another item in the list! this is the exact kind of thought pattern that happens when you are so divorced from your actual Self that you don't actually even know what you want - if i just have a reason that every relationship isn't perfect, an excuse for it to never be right, then i don't have to face what is genuinely happening inside me. if i have a formula, then i am safe. 

i would argue that the list is actually three separate things: 1: things nandor genuinely does want in a relationship (which do tend to line up with guillermo's own traits, or the ones he has made most visible during his servitude) 2: things that would be good for nandor’s personal development and therefore he does not want to be challenged on them (especially by a near-stranger as his wives have become to him - the fight scene is the big example here, since his reaction to guillermo in the same context was so different, but also i’m including things like not being smarter than him, etc. these are largely Also traits guillermo has, and are the ones pointed out by the posts arguing that the whole list is about guillermo in negative).  3: the other things are just quibbles because he is a petty little bitch but we been knew that already

to me his total misread of marwa's personality at the end of the episode is so starkly obvious for those exact reasons - he doesn't know what he wants at all, and it's not as simple as his subconscious having all the answers in a direct negative for us to superimpose guillermo on, either. because divorcing yourself from your emotions and anything remotely difficult to process for 400 years is bound to have some sort of impact.

also i am deeply certain that nandor was largely the same (read: an asshole) even while he was still human, too, but that’s a topic for another time

118 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#2

287 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

thinking about how nandor calling all his partners wives is a clever way to have him very explicitly handwave heteronormativity and establishes him as someone who doesn't even register the modern sexuality zeitgeist BUT still places him as the sole husband: still centers him as the man of the house, the one waited on hand and foot, the one in charge, and the one ultimately aloof from a relationship that is supposed to be a partnership (there being many wives notwithstanding).

and how if, in the end, guillermo refuses to be nandor's wife and insists on being his husband that it sings in total synergy with the entire storyline thus far - it would be guillermo learning to own himself, his sexuality, his self worth, and refusing to be a doormat, and nandor accepting that change is part of life even when you are undying, and that he cannot always be dominant in order to avoid being vulnerable, and in fact needs a partner that will challenge him

in this essay i won't

1,634 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #kindred made it into the top 5!!! #genuinely so nice

[fallintosanity]

Hi Sanity!! F and R for the ask game? <3

Hello hello! <3

F: If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

"Plan" is probably too strong a word for what I do, though I'm not 100% a pants-er either. The way it usually works is, I get an idea for something - a scene, an AU, a character moment, whatever - and let it percolate in the back of my head for a few days or weeks while I'm brushing my teeth, doing chores, whatever. Probably 95% of those ideas never go anywhere at all: either they're not actually that interesting, or I can't figure out enough of a plot or structure to make them work, or they're not for a fandom I'm active in at the moment. And sometimes I just don't have the bandwidth to tackle a whole new fic right then.

But if I get an idea that I feel like I can do something with, I'll start expanding it, maybe bounce it off my beta, until I have the rough shape of the fic. Unfortunately for me, this is rarely a full outline; I tend to leave big gaps that I promise myself I'll figure out when I get there. XD Still, there's usually a point where I feel like I have "enough", and that's when I start putting words on paper.

For better or worse, I'm not one of the writers who can write out of order - I can't start with the scenes I know the best or want to write the most, and then figure out later how to tie them all together; I have to write from beginning to end. So usually the finished fic ends up veering off my original planned course to some degree. For example, The Basis of Reality originally had a wildly different ending that was much closer to what Ep: Ignis turned out to be. But aside from Ep:I scooping my plot, various scenes and interactions that came up as I wrote steered the fic away from that original plan to a second ending. That second ending didn't pass the beta test, so I scrapped it and reworked it to what I ended up posting, which I'm much happier with. Providence is on ending 1.5; I had a vague and incomplete idea for an ending early on that quickly got scrapped and replaced with my current plan. (We'll see if that ends up changing again. XD ) As for What Stays and What Fades, the ending was originally, uh, one of those big gaps I left for myself, whoops. I have an ending in mind now, but I'm still noodling over it for a couple of spoilery reasons.

R: Which is more difficult, the title or the summary?

The title. Oh god, the title. XD Don't get me wrong, summaries aren't easy, but I learned to do elevator pitches back in college and that's basically what a summary is. Titles, on the other hand, are simultaneously completely worthless and incredibly important, especially on AO3. I, and anecdotally a lot of other people, barely glance at titles on AO3 - we look at summaries and tags first, and the title doesn't matter unless it has some kind of red flag like multiple misspellings or something. On the other hand, and especially for anywhere other than AO3, the title is usually the first thing people see of the fic. So the title has to be interesting enough to catch people's attention, but also short enough to be a title, but also meaningful enough to suggest what the fic is about and make it easy for people to remember which fic it is and talk about it, but also not give away too much, but also but also but also... D:

so uh yeah titles (ﾉಥДಥ)ﾉ ︵┻━┻･/

Ask me stuff, or Ask me stuff!

#turtlewobbles #ask meme #sanity replies

[improbable-outset]

Hey Ayrus! I know I don’t usually msg people first but I just wanted to add to what @/madness-in-the-flesh was saying about your (god-tier) writing and what you've been going through with perfectionism and disliking your own work. While I'm a massive perfectionist myself and have the same problem with hating stuff I reread later, I'm not sure if everything I do to improve how I deal with it will be helpful advice. However, I can say that I think other people’s opinions are kind of important here for reinforcing confidence in your own work. Everyone in the community, including myself of course, absolutely loves you and your work, period. Your writing is fantastic; everything from the characterization, to the plot, to the way you set up a scene and setting, to even the way you string words together, is enthralling to see and even better to experience as a reader. As a writer myself, I find you very inspiring and I’m sure others view you and your work the same way (especially from the feedback you got on Ao3 haha :)). So I guess this is more of a point toward the fact that we readers appreciate what you do and that as you continue to write and improve, we'll still be happy with whatever you make because you're that skilled and deserve our support. (Besides, even if you don't like your work after seeing it again, you're still evolving as a writer and becoming more advanced every time you put something together, right? It's a continuous process of improvement, to me anyway.)

To end this long ask, not to be too sappy, but you are a gift to the community and we are grateful to have you with us. Your work is great and so are you, and you deserve all of the compliments and nice words you're given. So don't doubt that you have talent, okay? I hope you have a good rest of the day, and stay safe/hydrated! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡❤️💖💝💕

I’m gonna try not get too sappy when replying to this too

Even tho I don’t even know where to begin

I don’t show it often but I am forever grateful for all the compliments as a small writer and I’ve been told by multiple people that I’m too hard on myself

But yah as I said earlier, I probably just need some mind space and I’ll just binge read for a while.

I literally self teach myself how to write, setting the scenes and everything else you mentioned from irl books so I’ll stick to that until I can learn to love my works again.

But thanks for the reassurance <33

#kind words #saltymongoose #Ayrus answers

[andsmile]

I mean that storyline was forced and OOC but I think it had potential not only for the drama and the angst. I kinda agree with that reviewer that say "Make ba cheating to cause MAJOR fallout after Jughead and Veronica find out, is a disservice to both of THEIR characters. It undermines their emotional intelligence, and that is not good" True. they take the easy route to separate the core 4 with Why not have an equal and opposite reaction? Early Ba was a point of tension for the couples (s1 bh ) and left it like that it's a injustice for the relationships and friendships even a disservice for BA as character they make a mistake I want to see the characters be a part, learn from that, heal as individual and a couple, learn and grow

I couldn’t see Jughead and Veronica being able to brush this off and be ok. It takes time to heal betrayal like that.

you see, that’s the thing, i agree with this concept (even though i despise that reviewer) but i don’t think it’s a disservice to their characters -- it’s actually in character for them to forgive, even though it does make them doormats. but jughead and veronica have been abused by their parents their entire life so they are doormats to the people they love. if you go by canon and not our headcanons and interpretation of the characters, jughead and veronica have forgiven so much shit coming from other people. jughead has forgiven his dad for covering jason’s murder, he has forgiven his mom for doing all she did, he has forgiven archie for screwing up sometimes, he has forgiven betty for the blackhood ordeal in literal five minutes and offscreen. same thing with veronica and archie, betty, and veronica and hermione/hiram, who tried to kill each other and she’s still there.

so i guess we feel the betrayal with more weight than the characters do. if i were writing jug and veronica they’d be cutting ties with everyone and with their families as well. but i’m not. you see?

what is a disservice imo, is how after that, jug and veronica grow into lives that apparently aren’t happy at all, and that they’ll only be able to get out of this darkness once they’re around b and a as well. this is actually cyclical and very annoying, but the show wanted this parallel with the parents since forever, so it’s not surprising at all to me. betty and archie dating can be a happy relationship or an unhappy one, but it’s still just something that’s gonna happen, it’s not gonna change anything into their characters because nothing so far did. the only things that had impact in characterization so far were fp/hiram’s arrests and hal/fred’s deaths, nothing else did, not for real, not long term. 

it’s what i’m telling you about the show’s formula. it’s not gonna change, even when we don’t like it. 

#rd negativity #anti b*rchie #it's just logic and canon combined #whatever we want we'll get with better writers in ao3 #fruitfantastiko #reply

[bitimdrake]

There's some bitterness in this, so feel free to ignore it, but I think comic fandom invites the level of inaccuracy it has. The idea of individual readers picking choosing what "counts" as canon is so common, even among dedicated readers, and there is so much vitriol directed at comics by comic fans that there it is such a short leap from "only the canon I like is canon" to "whatever I like is probably canon." I recognize that there are a lot of bad comics out there. (1/2)

But I think any discussion of fanon that ignores the way the culture of comic fandom, especially comic fandom in space like tumblr and ao3, encourages readers to divorce their opinions about the text from the content of the text. Some people think that's a good thing (I'm not one of them). And that's there perogitave. But I don't think its useful to anyone to skate over it.

No, this is all really true.

The expansive and tangled nature of dc comics means that everyone has consumed slightly different versions of canon, and so to some extent everyone having a different view of what's canon is inevitable. And then you add in the contradictions and the different writers with different views, and sometimes there really are moments or issues or arcs that seem like they oughta be ignored for contradicting the rest.

But I think there's a huge difference between, like, "this one issue here and that one issue there are out of step with the rest of this character's appearances so we'll ignore them or nudge them closer" and "well sometimes comics contradict each other, so I can make up whatever I want and declare that equally 'canon'". Which...no. That's fucking nonsense.

I try really hard to avoid the "if I didn't like it, it's not canon" thinking. Sometimes characters you like do shitty stuff; sometimes characters otherwise act in ways you didn't want them too. Sometimes stories are bad but still don't contradict anything.

My constant constant goal with canon is try to be as true as possible to events and to the average aggregate characterizations. And there is absolutely room for debate in determining that, but it's...very different than picking one (1) story (or headcanon!), making a bunch of assumptions from it, and then declaring anything that doesn't perfectly match to be Wrong.

(I ascribe to things along the lines of...Nightwing Annual #2 is not just ooc, but also really really blatantly contradicts the emotions and relationships that were actually present in the era of its flashbacks, so I DO ignore it. Or: Dick being so aggressive to Cass when she came back was weird and pretty ooc, but I'll try to keep it as much as possible, justifying it where I can and nudging characterization as little as possible where I can't. Or: Chuck Dixon is a super conservative dick, so I'll take bigoted views expressed by his characters with a grain of salt.)

And there's simultaneously a lot of negativity about canon, and a lot of self-congratulatory "fandom is so much better" that I think really feeds into this idea that there's no reason learn or care about what's in comics when you can instead make it up. And dc comics have had MANY flaws, but...a lot of things? about them? are good? There's a reason we get attached to these worlds and characters? I don't believe in throwing the baby out with the bathwater? (and, yes, also many things about fanon are bad)

Which is also why I try to remember to regularly talk about: I like comics!! I really enjoy comics! I complain about a lot of parts of them, but that's because I love them and want them to be better! I think people should try reading comics because there is so much enjoyment you might find if you give it a chance!

...and try to avoid all the people making blanket statements about "ugh comics suck let's just ignore them" instead of actually engaging with the text (and criticizing it, but for the specific things that deserve criticism)

#dc #ask #anon #*dc #* #canon vs fanon #not like. in any specifics. but sort of as an overall idea

[a-secondhand-sorrow]

when things start changing (we'll be changing with them)

(read on ao3)

The night of her graduation, Zoe steps into her backyard and is greeted with the sight of her boyfriend sitting at the base of a tree, eagerly demonstrating to her little cousin how to fold the dandelions sprouting around the base of the tree into a proper flower crown.

She can’t help the smile that comes to her face at the sight of him, sprawled out onto the grass as though he were designed to be there. Zoe has seen Evan Hansen in almost any scenario: folded into chairs, cross-legged on harsh tile, standing in a crowd and by himself and tucked neatly by her side. She considers herself well-versed in the many ways he can occupy a space. It’s something she prides herself on, her general knowledge of him and how he may look in any given scenario. There’s something so beautiful about the way he exists - even though it can be cramped, contained, and achingly hopeful that he’ll just be ignored, she can see the beauty even in those moments. And when he unfolds it’s even better. When he sits up a little straighter, lets his legs rest unlocked, and his hands - moving even when completely relaxed - make slower, more confident journeys around their surroundings, she’s reminded of just how far he’s come from the anxious senior tripping over his own thoughts every time he opened his mouth in the course of two school years.

From where he lays sprawled on the grass, he looks almost relaxed. The grass doesn’t seem to bother him, and his legs are crossed gently with one foot under his right knee while he leans over, his always-moving hands quick and gentle over the stems of the dandelions. She can hear snippets of his words, quick and defined but still somehow low and soothing. He’s actually a very good storyteller, especially around little kids. By the sharp giggles that float over her mom’s gardenias and the stone patio pavement to greet her, he’s pulled out his skills to wax poetic on the method.

In one fluid motion (and wow, she never thought she’d be using the word fluid to describe any movement Evan Hansen made) he twists off the crown and drops it onto the little boy’s head. For a moment, the light caught by the dandelions seems to radiate through the kid, and she can only stare while he hops up and runs off to boast to the other kids, who are playing on the old, creaky swing set. Evan watches him run, the amusement and gentleness on his face fading so slowly a person less versed in Evan Hansen wouldn’t have even noticed. His eyebrows furrowed, meeting to deepen the crease in his forehead, and her stomach dropped with his hand’s descent to trail at his shirt hem, twisting and pulling in his constant, quiet gesture of anxiety. Before she tells her legs to move, she’s already across the patio and halfway to where Evan sits. Her footsteps are nearly silent in the cushioned grass, but Evan’s eyes turn to her before she can fully reach him anyway as though he could feel her nearby. Automatically, she feels her lips curl into a grin, one that his gaze lingers on for a moment; she’d applied a new, slightly darker lipstick for the occasion, redder for spring and for graduating and for the yellow sundress she also donned, and she knows that he thoroughly enjoys the novelty of it just as he seems to enjoy her in all forms.

She sinks to sit next to him, indifferent to her dress, letting her legs cross at the ankle stretched out in front of her. “That’s cute,” she says, by way of greeting.

The responding shrug is felt against her shoulder, where the fabrics of their respective tops snag a little with Evan’s movement. “It’s easy. Little kids are cute, so whatever you give them is cute too.”

“Tarantulas? Scissors? Stomach flu?”

“I...yeah,” he mutters, and she laughs. “I guess those aren’t so cute.”

“You’re right, though. Mostly. They are cute.” She turns her head away from her cousins and looks to his face in profile. The summer sun seems to soak into the smooth brown skin stretched over his cheeks, and he blinks quickly. “I didn’t know you could make flower crowns.”

“I am a man of many talents.”

“Hidden depths, as they say.”

“Like an onion,” Evan lets his head drop so his cheek rests on the top of her head.

“An apt metaphor. All of those onions lying around with their depth, no layers to be found. Point to the writer for the fantastic metaphor.”

He laughs, but it’s a little weak. When he responds, his voice is low. “Shrek has me mixing up my metaphors.”

“Well, that’s obvious,” she murmurs back. She drops a hand to his thigh, warm even through his jeans. “What’s up?”

He shrugs again. “Parties just - they aren’t really my crowd.” And then, as though realizing a possible situation in which anyone could take a bit of offense, he rushes to neutralize it. “I mean, I didn’t mean to, like, take off, I just. It was kind of a lot and it sucks because it’s your party and I want to celebrate you but, you know.”

Zoe is just thankful he’s not apologizing - even a few months before, that would’ve been riddled with apologies that he didn’t need to give. “No, I get it. It’s a lot of people, and they’re not even nice, they’re just - my family. There. Being a lot. I’m glad you left when it was too much.” But he doesn’t un-tense, and his fidgeting persists, so she does, too. “I’ve barely had a chance to talk to you today.”

“Well, it’s been busy.”

“I know, but I still feel bad.”

“Don’t,” he says immediately, with a sudden ferocity in the tone she never would’ve expected. His hands still, and he lifts his head from hers to pull back and look her in the eye. “Zoe, please don’t - don’t feel bad for living your life and accomplishing things, okay? Because I’m here even when none of that is happening.”

She blinks once, slowly, and nods a top-to-bottom nod. “Okay,” she says, her eyes flicking over his expression. His lips thin into a line, and it’s then and there that she decides for blunt honesty over anything else. “I don’t - I don’t feel bad for that. I don’t...that wasn’t the right word to use. I just meant that I...I miss you. And it’s stupid because I’ve seen you all day, it’s not like we’re long separated and pining or…” She thinks of the acceptance letter sitting on her desk, the train tickets already booked for mid-July, the textbooks and purple-and-gold paraphernalia she’s yet to buy, and she wonders if the trove of emotion she’s just struck in her own chest is the same one that Evan is feeling. “I’m proud of myself and I’m happy to graduate, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather be sitting here and making flower crowns with you.”

Evan shakes his head, a quick, uncertain thing. “I don’t - you can’t mean that.”

“What?” she responds, trying to duck her head to catch his eye, but he won’t look at her. “I mean it. I mean it wholeheartedly. We only have...we only have so much time left. I don’t want to miss it.”

He swallows harshly, and Zoe realizes that this is what was really on his mind. Her departure date for NYU is scheduled for a little over a month later. She reaches for his hand.

“I know things are changing,” Evan says finally. “And that’s...that’s okay.”

“‘Change is okay,’ said Evan Hansen, never,” Zoe says, only half-joking.

“No, I...I mean it.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“I’m okay with it,” he says more firmly. “I know it has to happen. I know it’s good. NYU is your dream, Zoe. I’d never dream of not wanting you there. We’re changing along with everything else.”

This time, she’s the one who swallows harshly. “I know we are. I wish that…I wish that you could come with me. I want NYU, but I don’t know if I’ll make it through without you.”

“You will,” he says. “You’re the strongest person I know, Zoe.”

“But-”

“You can - please don’t let me hold you back.”

She stills. “What?”

“I-” Evan looks so different than he did before, so much more uncertain. His hands are fidgeting again, and she reaches over to rub circles into the back of his hand. “I can only think that I could be holding you back. I mean, I’m working at Pottery Barn, the most boring of all stores. Community college is the best I’ll ever do. I don’t know if I, I’m not certain when I’m gonna leave this town. So don’t - I would absolutely hate it if I thought you were waiting for me. It’s the other way around. I’m waiting for you, okay? Because I want you to - to go to NYU, and have the time of your goddamn life. And I just want you to know that I’m always here, no matter how long it is, no matter how much you change. I’ll change with you. I’ll learn. I’ll-”

“Hey,” Zoe says gently to cut him off. She reaches forward to him, and he reaches for her like a little kid clutching a stuffed animal, like someone coming home after years away, like he’s afraid she might disappear. As he buries his face in her neck and her arms tighten around him, she realizes that this is not Evan panic. This is - this is Evan sadness and Evan worry. About her.

After stroking his hair for a moment, she speaks. “I promise you, I won’t stop doing things on your account. You have my word. But I’m not going to get up there and forget about you, Evan. I’m going to think about you - probably too many times to be healthy, to be honest, and I’ll force you to Facetime with me at all hours when I’m procrastinating and you’re trying to convince me to just do the damn work, and I’m going to keep loving you and I’m not once going to doubt that you’re still here.”

Evan nods against her shoulder, and she continues. “You’re my North Star, Evan,” she whispers. “I could pick you out from anywhere, and you’ll always be the brightest light I see.”

“You’re the same for me,” he whispers, his breath hot against her skin.

“I mean it. I’m coming back to you no matter what,” she says, her words low but her tone sharp. “Nothing could stop me from coming home to you.”

He pulls away after another moment and sighs. “We should probably get back in. I know your mother spent weeks planning this.”

“More like planning since I was in elementary school,” she says with a sigh to match Evan’s. As he moves to stand, she reaches out to grab his hand and halt his progress. “Not so fast, though,” she says, tugging him back down towards her. She’s not quite ready to give up this, his skin on hers under the June sun.

When he just raises an eyebrow, she raises one to match it. “Don’t I get a flower crown?”

His laugh is sudden and bright, an explosion of color against a grey conversation. “Of course,” he says around a wide smile. “It’s your day, after all.”

“Along with the other two-hundred students.”

“Yours and yours alone.”

“Oh, well, if you insist.”

As Evan sits down again and his fingers find purchase with the many small flowers popping up around them, Zoe allows herself to just look at him and be okay. There’s no pressure in their little haven around the tree, and in that comfort she thinks of her words from before. I’ll come home to you.

She can’t help but think that the boy across from her is more of a home than the house they sit outside of, and when he presents her with her flower crown and presses a kiss to her cheek, she’s only more certain of it.

#deh #dear evan hansen #bandtrees #zoevan #evan / zoe #evan hansen #zoe murphy #mine #dear evan hansen fanfiction #dear evan hansen fanfic #my work #so will i #inspired by #ben platt

[sweetbunnykook]

I just want to say that ofc we'll miss your writing but your health and well being are much more important. So take as much time as you need and get your life together, and you can start writing again when you feel inspired, or you might not even write again, whichever one is okay. I just really really hope things are better for you soon. Idk when you'll read this bc you said you wouldn't be replying to asks but oh well Love you 💕💕

Bunny We love you. We're glad you're staying. A and I were so sad when you said you were leaving, but we understood and supported your decision. You're so loved and so cherished. You deserve all the happiness in the world. -💜💜💜bang-tan-bitches

Hello bunny it’s been awhile! I used to check your blog everyday but I’ve been so busy with school! I came back to see that you aren’t feeling so good unfortunately. I support you 100% if you think leaving is better for your health. I just wanted to thank you for helping me with my own issues,your stories and posts help me a lot. I’ve came to love your personality and the laughs you’ve gave me while fangirling over Bts.I love you girl! And I hope you find your peace I really am rooting for you❤️

Hey I've just discovered you last month but honestly?? You are so incredibly sweet and kind. You're so interactive with everyone and honest!! Whether you deactivate or decide to stay and just go on a writing hiatus is okay as long as you feel happy!! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶ 🌸dahlia

Hwaiting, Bun! People might be upsetti like spaghetti; bc youre so quality. Youre not gonna lose that overnight. Take a break if you need one. No matter how long! If you want an in between mayhaps still be active just not as a writer. Just another blog on the tumblrs who reblogs things. 💞💖💞💖

Aww Bunny! Obvis do whatever you feel is comfortable. You dont 'owe' us anything really. We just want you to do whats best for you. Youre writing is amazing, so are your tags and reblogs. Things'll be different n change but giving yourself time to focus on life outside of this can be good. Step back from contact as an author, maybe? A sideblog for fun reblogs? Your tags are so funny and relatable Bun! Something to transition back into. Whatever you do, know you have our support! Take care Bun 💓

#1 Hi Bunny! It might be weird that I send you that message but I really wanted to tell you that whatever you'll do with your blog now, people that truly like you won't be all too mad about your decision. You're one of the main reasons I actually created a Tumblr account, but not only because of your astonishing writing but also because you as a person are wonderful. At least what you show us of yourself (even though I doubt that you as a person are less as nice as you are here).

#2 So whatever you decide to do now, I hope that it can help you feeling better! Okay that was awkward and I'm really not good with words but I hope you get what I wanted to say 💜💜

thank you for your work that you’ve contributed to this site, and I wish you nothing but the best in the near and far future!! you’re a wonderful person, and im glad you’re doing this for your own mental health and emotional wellbeing! we’re supporting you from the sidelines!💞💞Nooo i’m so sad, i just found your blog like a month or two ago and you’re leaving 😭 guess i’ll just have to make an ao3 account now lol. I hope you’ll take care. Love you so much 😘😘 

 Thank you. I found your blog at a time when I needed it most. I was lost, depressed and lonely. There was a time that I ended every night on your blog just reading stories & asks, laughing & getting giddy at your answers about each story. I'm sad you'll be leaving but am grateful for your stories because you built a world that I could escape to & I love you for it. I hope you are doing well & I just want to let you know the influence you stories have had & that you have touched many

These are the asks that made me rethink my decision on deactivating. I love every one of my readers dearly and I feel like I need to work on my communication skills more because I often felt pressured to produce work all the time and it has made me stressed when I’m feeling enough heat from my reality with school and work and personal problems. You guys are the light of my life and I’m so happy that this community has stayed the same no matter how many followers I’ve gotten in the past few months ❤ people have been so kind and so warm and you have all made me laugh so many times than I can count. I will forever be grateful for these messages. 

So please let me compile the anons under one message and thank you all for the love you’ve given to me and my writings 💕 I love you all. 

- 🐰