#what if i name her Isosceles? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seventhdoctor · 2 months

Text

A Trapezoid of Foils: Judai/Yubel and Amon/Echo

I'm back on my bullshit, and my bullshit is yelling about the trashfire that is Judai Yuki and Yubel. This post is a collection of thoughts on how Amon and Echo were clearly meant to reflect Judai and Yubel in some way or other, and how it feels like it should be neater than it is. The parallels are there, but it's not fully symmetrical and some of the angles are kind of weird...so yeah, kind of like a (non-isosceles) trapezoid!

(Geometry Tumblr do not @ me, I'm doing my best with this metaphor)

Spoilers for GX season 3, naturally. I haven't said it before, but for this post as well as previous ones I'm basing all information and characterization on the sub version of GX rather than the dub (which drastically changes Yubel's backstory and motives).

Yubel and Amon

This is the most obvious one, because Yubel spends two whole episodes and honestly some of their most iconic monologues trying to tear Amon down after building him up the whole season.

They're both antagonists willing to cause harm to the one they love for their goals. For Amon, that goal is the power to build a utopia. For Yubel, the harm is the goal - or at least, the metric by which they will have achieved their goal (showing their love for Judai).

Yubel, of course, claims that Amon is more selfish in his use of harm. Pain is love in their philosophy, but it's mutual pain - dishing out the pain without taking any back would only be mere cruelty. This of course misses the nuance that Echo wanted Amon to use her as a sacrifice, while Judai didn't welcome any of Yubel's twisted affections.

Still, from what I've seen most people agree that Yubel comes across as more "honest" one way or another. And to understand why things feel that way, it's important to look at their backstory and motivations, as well as how their motivations change.

Yubel dedicated themself to Judai's past life, tying themself to him through lifetimes, and in the present remained true to that devotion in unwanted ways. When Judai sent them to space and it ended up being Oops! All Torture, Yubel developed their sadomasochistic philosophy as a coping mechanism and an attempt to reconcile Judai's past promises and present actions.

Upon their return to Earth, they planned to return the "favor": by sending Yubel to the pain and isolation of outer space Judai made them stronger (i.e., infected by the Light of Destruction, with all that entails), so they'll give him his own painful experience (all of season 3) to make him stronger (awaken his power as Supreme King). Then they'll reunite, having both demonstrated their love for each other, and [this part is where the Light of Destruction really twists up their thinking]. Everything they do is in the name of this motive*, whether Judai really likes it or not.

Amon dedicated himself to the Garam conglomerate with Echo by his side before being replaced by his younger brother Sid, the sole blood Garam sibling. He nearly murdered Sid before changing his mind and dedicating himself wholly to his brother instead, a decision Echo and Yubel both describe as willingly chaining himself to their service. Even when given an opportunity to become the heir (all it'd take is watching his brother die to illness, not even murder) he rejects it, and begs for a way to save him.

And yet, when when given the opportunity he made a deal with the devil to break the chains he put on himself and abandon that same family. Then when he gets the chance to obtain power by sacrificing someone he loves, he does exactly that. Then he plans to become king of a utopia free of suffering, and always remember Echo.

So then, what are Amon's motives? Is he somebody who got tired of being abandoned or unappreciated? An ends-justify-the-means idealist? Just a power-hungry hypocrite? It's hard to tease out a consistent character and ideology from him. And in a show where people wear their hearts in their decks, I think this part of why people hate him - and so does Yubel.

Yubel hates Johan because he's terrifyingly like Yubel in some ways, focused and protective and dear to Judai.** Yubel hates Amon because he can't be like Yubel at all, resenting the brother he dedicated himself to and sacrificing the person he loved for power in an empty world forever devoid of that same person.

No way Yubel can be that kind of person, right? Otherwise, what was it all for?

* To be fair, you don't know all of Yubel's backstory by the time of their final duel with Amon. However, even removing the context of their past life that duel together with Yubel!Johan vs. Hell Kaiser establishes Yubel's central motivations more coherently than they do Amon's.

** Help, I know there's been other essay segments on this topic, text and video alike. But I saw a lot of them back in early 2023 when I was mindlessly going through GX material in a haze of hyperfixation and now I've forgotten all the other good sources.

Yubel and Echo

If Yubel's parallels with Amon are about their dedication, Yubel's parallels with Echo are about who they're dedicated to. Both believe in their loved one's destiny to become a king, and take actions to make them that king.

Yubel has historical basis in that Judai is quite literally the Supreme King, bearer of the gentle darkness. To help him achieve that role, Yubel enacts a plot to break Judai until he awakens his Supreme King side. It fits neatly into their schema of things: this is how they make the person they love stronger, so that they will thrive and survive. Make Judai stronger and awaken his old power, and all will be as it was meant to be.

Echo just believes that Amon is amazing enough that he would make a better king than anyone. When the chances arises to help break his chains and give him a world to rule, Echo takes it.

...And boy does she.

Both Yubel and Echo believe their loved ones are meant to be a king. Both give their lives in support of their loved one, and become weapons wielded in their service.

No wonder Yubel was shaken by Echo's devotion remaining within Exodia for just a moment - it's not all that far from their own.

Unfortunately Yubel's only direct interaction with Echo is goading her attack on field-Yubel during the final Amon duel. Otherwise they only speak of Echo as someone used and abandoned by Amon - which in itself has potential, given Yubel's own feelings about Judai sending them away.

I think GX could definitely have explored this connection a bit more. There's space to fill here.

Judai and Amon

As noted above, Judai and Amon both have roles as kings - at least, in the eyes of their single most loyal people. Judai holds the title of Supreme King as the wielder of gentle darkness, and while not confirmed his past life sure looked like a prince. Amon simply has ambition, talent, and an ideal world in his mind.

And in operating with the ambition of kings, they both do terrible things to achieve power. Judai lays this out explicitly in the Edo vs. Amon duel:

Amon lets his need for power get in the way of his other relationships and priorities, and sacrifices the ones he loves to obtain Exodia similarly to how Judai sacrificed his friends and eventually uncountable innocents for his own goals - finding Johan, and then ruling as Supreme King. Straightforward, right?

But I think there's another parallel between the two that's a lot more interesting. Or...most of a parallel. Namely, their relationship with their other halves and the responsibility of a loyal follower who would give up anything for you, be it their life or their humanity.

What do you do when the person you love most dedicates their existence to you - to the point of throwing everything else away, even their very life?

Of course, the Judai-Yubel and Amon-Echo situations aren't exactly the same even putting aside the issue of reincarnation. (For the purposes of this essay I'm not making huge distinctions between Judai and his past life, but if you want to get into the details I've written about that previously.)

Yubel went ahead and made their sacrifice without Judai's input, and all he could do was decide how to respond. He chose to dedicate himself back to them so hard it crossed lifetimes, so hard he chose to risk his own existence for them as well in his next life.

Amon, on the other hand, is the one who proposed Echo sacrifice herself for him. Echo agreed to it, and even by the end she stood by her decision. But Amon loaded the gun and pulled the trigger.

He tries to honor her sacrifice, of course. He's always mindful of Echo's sacrifice and what it means. But in the end, he did choose to sacrifice her, ultimately using her as a pawn. Their love never trumped his own objectives.

And I think the example of Amon and Echo leads to the question: if Judai had the choice of letting Yubel become a dragon or stopping them, what would he do? When it was explicitly their will?

This is another missed opportunity, one that could have solidified the parallels neatly. But GX never asks that question, so the answer is unclear. What could have been a parallel is just kind of...askew.

Judai and Echo

Okay, I admit there isn't a lot here off the top of my head. Probably the best parallels between them are in relation to their other halves, as the people "harmed" by their villainous partners, and how they respond to that harm.

Judai rejects Yubel's torments as unwanted attention, until he remembers the past and flips to understanding why Yubel did they did and makes moves to unite the two of them forever. Echo, meanwhile, understands Amon's motives from start to end and...lets herself be sacrificed, the end.

I don't know about this one. Really, ultimately Echo is supposed to be a willing participant in her own sacrifice but in the end I still don't feel like the narrative gave her a strong sense of agency in the matter and it really weakens my attempt to write this section.

In Conclusion

Some of these connections are stronger than others for sure, but I argue that they're all there in some way or another. They're very uneven and overall I'm not entirely sure what you're meant to take from the parallels, and I wish I could give something neat and concise for this section. Instead, it's a bit messy and misshapen - hence, the trapezoid metaphor.

Still, I think there's interesting room for thought in this awkward space. I was certainly thinking about these parallels while working on the latest chapter of Need (accidental last-minute plug?) and trying to figure out exactly what the prince felt while Yubel was in the middle of dragon surgery. What must it be like, to be in these relationships of sacrificial devotion?

#yugioh gx #yugioh series #judai yuki #yubel #amon garam #echo #essaying #meta #analysis #once again thanks to kaiowut99/GymLeaderLance99 for the subs #they're being used for a good cause?#anyway here's the product of me thinking too much about yu gi oh gx season 3 #and all things yubel related #i am so on my bullshit

45 notes · View notes

irregularbillcipher · 11 months

Text

The best example of how Flatland is a piece of fiction where A Square, the author, literally does not know what the hell he's talking about half the time is all the stuff about the Universal Color Bill, because as it is presented the segment on the Color Bill is one of the most biased and propaganda filled things I've ever seen spouted from a narrator who claims he Knows What's Up with the world he lives in.

Like ooooh, gee, so the only reason the Universal Color Bill got so widespread was because a Mean Traitorous Circle with an Irregularity that he should have been killed for but wasn't due to Circumstances that nobody actually knows or remembers (but in A's opinion was definitely pity because we all know how CHARITABLE the Circles are) came up with it, and used his tricky cunning Irregularity mind powers to make the Bill so foolproof and amazing that if it had gone through it would have toppled all of society and allowed all the icky women and disableds and lower classes to have something close to equal rights.

(And it had to have been an Irregular Circle because yes the Irregular Circle is also icky and cunning but at least he's a Circle and any Isosceles would have simply been too brain dead to have come up with such an evil cunning Bill and THIS is why eugenics are good, so those mean old disabled people that we allow to live don't stab us in the back for our charity.)

And wow, you're really telling me that right when the more upper-class women of Flatland, those who care about their standing and who are most supportive of eugenics because of the privilege they're afforded by their marriages and lineages, started to agree that this society-destroying Color Bill was a good idea, (because it would actually give them a bit of respect, authority and safety if they were regarded as being as precious as their husbands,) the Circles just happened to hear about this poor orphaned daughter of a Polygon who was accosted by a very very real and scary and uncouth lower class Shape and tricked so thoroughly into believing he was a higher class Shape by employing the very evil colors that these poor Lines were starting to come around to?

(Not to mention that even in the story itself the Isosceles is framed as both a vile, duplicitous mastermind tricking a poor innocent upper-class girl into marrying him, but also an idiot who "accidentally" dabbled in paints from a Tradesman he'd definitely just robbed, and either painted himself or coincidentally "caused himself to be painted" with the exact same color pattern as a Dodecagon. Because for this story to work, he has to be an absolute monstrous brute, an Isosceles of the "low sort" with hardly any brains, while also being cunning, clever and cruel enough to pull off a marriage ruse and take advantage of a poor orphaned maiden. Stupid enough to be looked down upon but smart enough to come up with this plan like the perfect boogeyman.)

And man, it sure is unfortunate that this marriage, which A Square admits only happened because of a wild amount of near impossible accidents and an "almost inconceivable" lack of research on the part of the bride's remaining family, in a society where lineage is checked thoroughly before marriage, just happened to be consummated despite all the odds being stacked against it. Did he pretend to be a member of a high ranking family? Did he make up a name and family history? If nobody can decide if he even painted himself on purpose, I doubt him creating a whole persona convincing enough to fool the daughter of a Polygon and any family members would be part of the story... that would frame him as far too intelligent for an Isosceles with a brain of four degrees, and we can't have anyone thinking that sort is intelligent.

So then are we to believe that the daughter and her remaining family were stupid enough to just accept a supposed Dodecagon with no family ties or history? That seems unlikely. With no family history, his sides may not even matter-- maybe he has an Irregularity in his line. Maybe he was disowned for failing his Sight Recognition exam. No respectable girl in her right mind would marry a Dodecagon with no family history! And it's so, so convenient that this woman, who already knew this Isosceles, because he had already tried to court her in the past, never recognized him once throughout their new courtship, until the marriage was consummated.

And it's so convenient for the Circles that her reaction upon discovering what was very clearly a near astronomical feat of deception was to kill herself, in a society where we already know the Circles are really cool with killing its citizens if it helps to maintain the status quo. But there really isn't anything suspicious about that, of course, because the only way that a daughter of a Polygon would ever wed a lowly Isosceles is if she were tricked into it, even if the process of being tricked was so lengthy and complex that it would be near impossible for anyone to pull off without either the bride or the bride's family being in on the deception, and the only reaction any decent girl would have upon realizing she'd been tricked would be suicide.

And the fact that she was orphaned and this man apparently tried to court her in "former days." So how former? And who was the one rejecting the marriages? How did she feel about this attempted courtship in "former days?" As a daughter of a Polygon, she surely had no say in who she married, so her opinions on this man are completely up in the air, and the idea that she would at no point during this new proposal, recognize this man who had tried to seek her affections before is... implausible, I would say. What the Circles would want you to think, of course, is that the Isosceles tried again once she was orphaned because she was vulnerable then. That's possible, of course, but got necessarily the given that it would seem like.

But the idea that a Line and an Isosceles may have come up with a plot using color to be allowed to be married despite their class differences is Absurd, of course! They're too stupid for that! And that the Circles may have picked up on what had happened and taken the woman out of the picture and then twisted the story to suit their needs is preposterous, of course, just ignore how often they twist history and kill citizens to keep the status quo. The fact that this specific version of the story is the exact type of thing that would tug at the heartstrings of upper-class women who love eugenics and classism and their own nebulous purity more than they actually love themselves, enough to literally militarize a great number of the more reactionary ladies? A coincidence, I'm sure, but one that was oh so good for crushing the Color Bill and using those scared, privileged women to help murder Chromatistes and the rest of the rebels in a political set up.

... And of course, all those holes in the story, all that propaganda even assumes it was a real story to begin with. Because it very well may be completely fabricated.

Before telling the story, A Square straight up admits that this is the perfect type of story for someone in power to make up to scare a portion of the populace, but he absolutely refuses to actually, legitimately entertain the prospect. Instead, he just barrels ahead and tells the story of the Evil, Cunning Irregular Circle, and the Poor Orphaned Polygonal Maiden and the Brutish, Tricky Isosceles and how that Completely True and Real Tragic occurrence definitely, positively happened, and also definitely happened exactly the way all the Circles said it did. The fact that this is all completely absurd and reads like literal propaganda and was literally used as propaganda to scare upper-class women into falling back in line does not matter to A, because this was the story he was told and he Understands The World He Lives In, and the Circles are always right except for the whole Third Dimension thing.

TL;DR: A Square is a stoodge who will fall for anything the Circles tell him, no matter how absurd, and every single thing he says that is not him literally laying out laws should be taken with ten bowls of salt, because he has no critical thinking skills.

#flatland #flatland: a romance of many dimensions #edwin abbott abbott #a square will be like i am so aware of the fact that the circles have lied to me i am so smart and then spout more propaganda #it would be funny if it didn't make me wanna punt him #this is a long ass post but the color bill section makes me foam at the mouth #also there is a reason that i had bill and kryptos first connect over hearing this story and going “... what?” in my fic #because it's absolutely insane and so clearly not what Actually Happened and it drives me wild that nobody talks about it #like even if we wanna be super charitable and say like say... idk... 75% of it happened the way the circles said #that 25% still leaves some INSANE gaps and is too perfect for scaring upperclass lines

82 notes · View notes

kismetmoon · 10 months

Text

i just realised i never talked about it before, but here’s Ruth’s full form under her cloak :

[ID: a digital monochrome drawing of an original stylised Flatland character, Ruth, on an off-white background.

Ruth is a humanoid character who has dark grey with light grey patches, a round half-lidded eye with a point on the top and four bottom eyelashes, a rectangular body, thin limbs, a ‘dent’ on the lower half of her body and a short tail.

On the left, Ruth is standing and waving out her left arm while the other is at her side. She is absently staring to the right. There is an arrow in the middle, which leads to the other drawing of Ruth on the right. She is holding her cane in her right hand and looking down to some white bandages covering the dent in her torso.

End ID.]

it’s essentially the flatland equivalent of traumatic lumbar scoliosis. she’s been left with a sort of indentation that pushed back her lower torso and goes in her right side and out her left. because of this, it throws her balance off slightly when walking (and having a shorter tail than usual doesn’t help in this situation), hence she uses a cane when she needs to leave the house for food, errands, etc. the bandages are just to prevent her from scratching the healed scar bc it’s almost always itchy.

[ID: two digital drawings of an original stylised Flatland character, Ruth.

In the first photo, it is a close-up of Ruth’s dent as seen from the side. There is an orange line to highlight the scar left in her torso from the dent. There is orange hand-written text on the left that reads “scar”. The black text on the right reads “side view”. The background is off-white.

In the second photo, it is a black, colourless outline drawing of Ruth. She is looking down towards the scoliosis back brace on her torso, with her arms held up and away from her body. The background is white.

End ID.]

if she had gotten proper treatment she would have had a brace similar to this. however, her mother wasn’t willing to wait long enough for it to heal like this and hated the sight of it, so she lied to Ruth about there being no proper treatment - or even just pain relief help - available for her case.

there’s a more in-depth explanation of what happened to Ruth under the cut, but warnings for murder, assault, accidental murder, child neglect and disownment.

what i’m working with is that Ruth was waiting outside a shop with her mother while her father went inside to get something. an isosceles who came rushing out of the adjacent alleyway (who had just got into a heated argument ending in the other party being shattered) fled the scene so quickly that he ended up running straight into a tween Ruth on his way out of the alley. he was able to catch himself before he got sliced up, but ultimately left Ruth with her ‘dent’ and left himself with a nasty crack that nearly completely ran down the middle of his frame.

he would later on succumb to this injury, leaving Ruth feeling immense guilt for being involved in another’s death (even though it wasn’t ever her fault).

her parents (a square family, with Ruth being their only child) tried to have her lasting depression dealt with and this ‘dent’ straightened out. while it was considered that one of her sides could easily be pushed back in, it was nearly impossible to pull the indented side back out - so they had to leave it for ruth’s ‘survival’. her depression only worsened and she developed extreme isoscelesphobia (it is what you think it is).

it comes up to her 18th birthday and she’s suddenly kicked out of the house five days later as her mother doesn’t want their family name “tarnished with an irregular daughter” that she’d be “ashamed to marry off to a poor soul”. so Ruth is forced to leave, but fortunately her father (who had no say in the disowning, and whose hand was completely forced by his wife’s decision) had bought the small cottage in the woods as her 18th birthday present as a place for her to reside to prevent her from becoming completely homeless. (but this is sad because he was obviously in on the discussion of her getting abandoned and wanted to guarantee her some shelter before she left, so he knew to purchase a house…but he still didn’t warn her about her impending eviction or fight to keep her with the family).

she’s 25 now and has lived there ever since, and Liz moved in with her about six years ago.

#long post #flatland #oc #ruth galton #I FORGOT HER EYELASHES AGAIN #cba to fix it #i like to imagine that lines go through a sort of ‘incomplete metamorphosis’ during puberty #so it changes from a blunt and short child’s body to a sharp and long adult body #so as ruth’s frame was adjusting into an adult body the dent got adjusted along with it #cause she was like 11 or 12 at the time of this incident #completely off topic but i just tried the green monster #do not recommend #that shit sour af #kiwi lime and cucumber my ass #that’s straight green apple and toxic waste

28 notes · View notes

gobblewanker · 2 years

Text

The Mystery and The Isosceles

Ch 13: A Face Without a Body

Also on AO3

Out on the horizon, the sun had just peeked its head over the purple sea spilling reds and yellows like fire onto the morning clouds. The warm light ignited the gold plating decorating the sides of The Isosceles’ hull and illuminated the faces of the crew gathered nervously on deck. The men—and others, if nothing else at least their captain wasn’t prejudiced—huddled close seated on barrels and chairs and the worn decking itself as they murmured conspiratorially in the early morning light. Many among their ranks sported nasty injuries to tell of last night's struggle, but at least they were alive. Others were not as fortunate, but the dead had already been thrown overboard: Sentiment had no place on Cipher’s ship.

Despite the warmth, the mood was cold and serious. Even many of the crewmates who’d been senselessly drunk the night before had dragged themselves out to join the impromptu debate.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the door to the captain's cabin opened and the first and second mate stepped out only to pause at the sight of the congregation.

Pyronica marched up to them with her head held high and her expression dour, the clicking of heels following her. Kryptos followed a distance behind.

“What are you all doing?” She demanded. The crew looked at each other dubiously, nobody immediately rising to answer. ‘Teeth’—The ship’s loosely designated physician, named so by Bill for his former job as a barely qualified barber surgeon—was elbowed by the person next to him and hopped down from the barrel he’d been seated on to face Pyronica. She towered over him with his short stature.

“Look- we, uh- We've been talking and some here—not naming names—were kind of… Suggesting we maybe cut our losses and ditch?”

“ Excuse me? ” Pyronica demanded shrilly, her pinkish face becoming flushed with outrage.

“Look- I’m not saying I agree but-” Teeth was quick to defend himself, but another crewman rose to the challenge.

“We all know the Captain can be a bit of a loose cannon. We signed up for that.” Hectorgon grumbled. Pyronica wished she could bite his head off. “But getting himself and a quarter of us killed just because he decided he wanted some dusty old trinket? He’s slipping.”

“He’s going to get us all killed.” Someone else voiced agreement.

“We’ve got a good thing going here, why bring him back to mess it up?”

Pyronica snapped back at them, taking another step forwards angrily with her hand on her gun. “Who do you think got us to this point you useless disloyal-!”

“Look, you dumb broad, why do we keep saving him when he’d leave any one of us for dead?”

“Just because you think he’s some kind of knight in shining armour doesn’t mean-”

“I’m your first mate, I call the shots here!” She fired the pistol once into the deck right next to the foot of the last person to speak. “If I hear another damn word of mutiny your guts will be next week’s rations!”

“Alright!” Kryptos stepped forwards, gratingly false smile on his face as he passed Pyronica. “Let’s all look at this rationally. It would be very convenient to desert while Bill can’t retribute, wouldn’t it? Split the gold, head back to port and go our separate ways, enjoy your lives; toodles and all that.”

Pyronica grumbled, but took a step back regardless. She couldn’t stand the smug diplomacy as Kryptos continued like the upper class twat he was.

“But do you idiots really think we’re his first crew? He’s been alive for centuries. Do you really think he’s never had to start over on his own? He’ll find some poor schmuck to trick and possess with or without us, and when he does, well… The captain is not a merciful man.”

A collective shudder went through the crew at the unflinching mention of that word. Possession . They all knew, of course. But it was something more pleasant not to think about. Really, calling the captain a man was inaccurate. The word tasted wrong in conjunction with his name. All of them were acutely aware.

The man they looked at wasn't their captain.

It wasn't the man they bowed to and cowered from. It wasn't the man who's word they obeyed with fearful precision.

The man wasn't their captain.

The thing wearing his skin was.

Kryptos continued. “I’d suggest that next time you feel the itch to leave, you remember he’s more likely than not listening.”

“We’re heading to the usual port, get to it.” Pyronica said, before turning abruptly and walking back towards the inside of the ship as the crew reluctantly got to work.

Most ports weren’t worth the risk to stop in, but there were always the few that had realised just how lucrative their presence could be. It was a simple exchange, really. Don't speak carelessly to outsiders, wait on Bill and his men like a royal procession, and in return, ill-gotten gold will flow through the streets like water. They needed a few safe ports, places to restock and recuperate. Besides, the itinerant nature of the people living in major ports meant nobody would question a few disappearances when Bill’s vessel broke and a new one was needed.

“You get too worked up on his behalf.” Kryptos’ longer strides caught up beside her.

“You don’t do it nearly enough.” She snapped back.

The rest of the crew were a bunch of ingrates, Bill was the reason they could live freely and do whatever they wanted. He was the only reason plenty of them were even alive, he was the reason she was alive.

She’d been on ships her entire life, leaving Europe with her father as a little girl after her mother was burned on accusations of witchcraft. She was never a good girl, violent and vicious, and happy to bully the other powder monkeys as she watched her father and the gun crew work. Some people didn’t mind, but the only person to have ever turned around and praised it was Bill. He was the first person she ever met who saw cruelty and admired it. Who rescued her, and took her away to a place where she could be as savage as she wanted.

She’d been imprisoned the first time she saw him. Already sentenced and slated to hang for using the ships cannons to fire on the mansion of a governor. She’d been locked in a damp cell when the door had been kicked in by a gaunt man in garish golden clothes, weapon drawn and face irritated. He’d come to retrieve his ship’s master gunner who’d apparently been locked up after a drunken brawl, but was clearly angry at the inconvenience. When he began speaking to her on a whim and learned of what she’d done, he laughed and offered to take her instead.

She didn’t trust him. He was a stranger. A man. One with unclear intentions who’d appeared from nowhere, and offered to take her away. She had enough street smarts to know not to go anywhere with him, but the alternative was the gallows. She accused him of indecency, and he just shrugged.

“Decency is overrated, but don't flatter yourself darling.” He told her with a lazy grin as he leaned on the bars. “All humans look disgusting to me.”

At the time she never questioned the way he phrased it; like humanity was a group to which he didn’t belong. But she relented and took his offer. His smile widened, and he made short work of the cell door lock.

Her name was Veronica. He dismissed it, and said he’d give her a better one.

He did.

“Yes, well.” Kryptos’ voice brought her back to the present. “We can’t sail anywhere if you shoot all our crew.”

“If the mutinous idiots want to talk a big game they should be prepared to deal with the consequences.” Pyronica snapped back. “You owe him too.”

In a way, he supposed that was true.

His head had never been on the line the way hers was. As the youngest son of a noble family, his life had always been comfortably miserable before meeting Bill. He’d had practically no autonomy to speak of over his own life, overbearing family members and rigid social structures dictated everything. The rest of the crew still saw him as a spoiled nobleman. He’d never starved and begged and slaved the way they might’ve. But that didn’t mean life was easy.

His whole life he’d been told exactly what to do, how to stand and speak, how to dress and act, and how to carry himself at all times. Even when he usually wanted to do the exact opposite. It was like living in a very ornate cage with eyes that never slept plastered on every wall. Social affairs, parties and balls were insufferable; those sorts of things were meant to be for entertainment. Why then, did he have to spend them all stiflingly dressed and smiling politely at people he’d rather shoot? He felt like a spring wound tighter and tighter until he felt he’d break in two.

Everything came to a boil when his parents decided to have him marry for the sake of their politics. He meekly accepted, like a puppet dancing to its strings. He’d been doing that since before he learnt to walk.

Bill had crashed the party. He didn’t know why or how, maybe he was scouting it out, maybe he was planning to attack, maybe he just wanted free food. But they’d spoken.

Maybe Bill saw something in him.

Maybe he just knew an easy mark.

Kryptos still remembered the question clearly. Still recalled Bill looking out at the dolled-up nobility that felt so sickeningly fake behind the plaster and paint. Bill looked at him, and spoke.

“What’s money and power with this many strings attached? Don’t you want to taste real freedom?”

Bill gave him a vial and asked him to poison the wine.

He never looked back.

Bill watched his two seconds in command from the mindscape as they separately returned to their quarters. Incorporeally, he observed the crew working out on deck now that they’d finally decided to stop with the whining and do their jobs. It was so much easier to get people to do what he wanted when they were in stabbing range.

It was a while since Bill had been able to actually use any of the powers that came with being an interdimensional creature. Obviously, humans couldn’t reshape the laws of physics, but when he possessed a vessel even the purely mental ones were cut off. Precognition and clairvoyance couldn’t be filtered through a human brain without frying it. While being cut off from physical sensations was insufferable, Bill could at least take the opportunity to check up on things. He’d already scoured nearby islands and found a man who resembled his last vessel closely enough, going to get him would be his crew's problem, and there wasn’t much more Bill could do after relaying it to Kryptos and Pyronica.

Instead, he turned his once again all-seeing eye to those hated twins on their ship. He watched the brothers arguing over something or another, but noted with some satisfaction that Stan’s wounds seemed to be slowing him down. His face was ashen, and he swayed on his feet. Hopefully it’d get infected and the stubborn old idiot would keel over. He was shouting something at Ford, and-

Ford .

Bill couldn’t express how much he hated that man.

Not only had Ford betrayed and tricked him thirty years ago, but he’d not even had the common courtesy to die like he was supposed to afterwards. Bill should have killed him himself. Or better yet, make him his next vessel. He’d fitted the archetype close enough; male, brown hair, light skin, young adult… Cut out the eye and get rid of the inconvenient finger and nobody would have noticed the difference, just like they hadn’t ever before.

When people were distracted by the scars, the teeth, the solid gold false-eye and loud clothes they never noticed it was the wrong face wearing them.

But no, Ford had to go and get too ill to be of any use.

Bill took some solace in the memory of the last night he’d had Ford on his ship. If the old man’s reaction to seeing Bill when they’d fought was any indication, he still remembered vividly too.

Ford had laid on the floor, his breathing ragged and his appearance unkempt. Bill had towered over him, watching with satisfaction as Ford flinched when he stepped closer. His eyes were squeezed shut but opened frightfully as Bill touched his face. Bill had taken his jaw in a gloved hand and pulled his chin up to face him as he spoke softly.

"I'll let you die. But I get to do whatever I want with you for the short remainder of your worthless life."

In truth, making any kind of formal deal with a dying man wasn’t much use. But it was fun .

Bill wanted to see Ford suffer. Ford had promised him Cascada—he’d promised him salvation —and then gone back on it. He deserved every bit of pain and humiliation Bill could inflict. Making him take one final deal if he wanted it to stop was just a bonus. It wasn’t as if Ford could have fought back even if he’d tried to, but making him agree to his own torture meant Bill had one more thing to hold over him. It meant that no matter what he did, it was Ford’s own choice . It meant that Ford was letting Bill hurt him. It meant that Ford wanted it.

Not really, obviously. Bill wasn’t stupid, he recognized a deal under duress when he saw one. But the accusations were one more weapon.

He had a hunch of how Ford might have been saved, and a quick look inside the man’s mind confirmed it.

If it was one being Bill hated more than Ford, it was a centuries dead shaman, and if there was a being he hated even more than that, it was The Axolotl.

As far as Bill knew, The Axolotl didn’t have much reach into the material world. Not because he wasn’t able to, but more because he preferred a hands-off approach to the whole deity thing. Bill had a sneaking suspicion the overgrown tadpole was responsible for the seagulls that always seemed to increase in number whenever Bill got a new body as some sort of godly guilt-tripping. Other than that, he only knew of one direct result of his interference.

Jheselbraum the oracle.

The woman was more of a frontier physician really, but that was what she was referred to as. Bill had his human posse, and The Axolotl had his. Bill had only ever interacted with her once, and he’d rather not remember that pathetic moment of weakness.

After the shaman betrayed him and destroyed Bill’s gateway to the world alongside Port Cascada, Bill tried to distract himself from his isolation in the mindscape by taking and discarding human hosts at random. For a bit, it had worked.

He didn’t remember whom his first vessel was, it had been so long ago and the original identity was irrelevant. But what he remembered was how absolutely vibrant the world was when he experienced it for the first time.

It was intense. Just the sensation of breathing was overwhelming. The sound of a heartbeat in his ears was deafening, the air had taste, his muscles tensed and relaxed as he ran fingers over the skin and all of it was new. All of it was intense and vibrant as he moved from body to body and life to life. Eating, sleeping, drinking, all of it. He wanted all of it. He wanted to freeze, he wanted to burn. He wanted to touch, he wanted to tear. He wanted to drink and he wanted to drown . All of it was so new. All of it was intense . All of it was satisfying. Every new thing was a high.

The sea smelled like salt, he would have never thought that. It tasted like salt too, and it made him vomit when he drank it. Vomiting felt disgusting, and feeling that was incredible. The sun above that same sea made his vessel's skin turn a different colour, and when he waited long enough it burned and blistered and peeled. It was a different burn than the first time he stuck his hand inside a fireplace, but both were painful. Feeling pain for the first time was blinding. It was fun . There were so many human things that were fun. Rum and violence and meaningless games, nights spent in seedy ports, and all the different ways he could find to dispose of spent bodies once they became too damaged for him to continue inhabiting them. He spent centuries chasing sensations. Everything, pleasure or pain, was good.

Until it wasn’t.

Until eventually, every sensation and experience had been done over and over until it was all done in. At first, even the blandest of meals had been enough to satisfy. The newness of it all made even the slightest hint of flavour overwhelming. But with the years it stopped being enough, until he wanted none of it, and couldn’t even feel the hunger pains of the resulting starvation.

Everything followed that same pattern. The pleasure, the pain, none of it was fun anymore.

That was when he surrendered himself to asking for help.

Jheselbraum was kind, and he hated her for it. She spoke gently. Insultingly so, like he was some wayward child in need of direction. Or a pitiful addict like those strung out in the opium dens.

“Technically, everyone's addicted to being alive.” Bill retorted behind a broken smile. “You should see their reactions when I make them quit.”

In the end, he shouldn’t have bothered going to her. There was no help to get. She told him he was too destructive. That if she helped him find a way to enter the world as himself, every living thing would suffer. Never mind that he was suffering. He should have killed her, but the frilly bastard wouldn’t let him. Instead he decided he would have to take it upon himself and find his own way back to his old gateway and salvage it.

He had a sneaking suspicion of how Ford had heard about ‘Port Cascada’. Bill’s first permanent body had been back in the early 16th century: A conquistador captain who had been easy enough to convince to hand over his body and ship to a ‘divine being’ on promises of glory and a city made of gold. They’d been a band of thugs already, Bill just made it official. When he eventually lost that first ship, the crew scattered and some took with them stories and relics.

Ford’s father was a merchant dealing in exotic goods and antiques from the brave new world. If any of Bill’s old things had found their way there, he needed them back. He needed to find Cascada again, no matter the price. He’d sail to the arctic and personally dig out time baby if he needed to. Compared to that, breaking into a shop and killing the owners was nothing. But he couldn’t find anything useful. Whatever had given Ford the name wasn’t there anymore.

The registry gave him a few crumbs to follow though. He found records of his first crewmates’ ships diaries; bought but never sold, and yet still nowhere to be found as he turned the house upside down looking for them. The only other relevant item was an old tapestry with an item description Bill was sure he recognized. It had been sold to a Spaniard with a name Bill thought he remembered from his old crew, a possible descendant if nothing else. Following the lead eventually brought him to the Northwest family.

The Northwest family brought him to a young girl returning back from London. He led his crew in intercepting the ship and taking the girl to demand the relic in ransom, but in doing so was shot and bled out back onboard The Isosceles.

It had happened before. Plenty of times, enough that it was routine. Pyronica disfigured the body to avoid anyone identifying it and catching on. They’d done it often, discarding used vessels into the sea. But this time it didn't go to plan.

This time, the body was found by the worst possible people. This time, a discarded corpse with its face burned off set off a chain of events that lead to Bill’s most blatant death yet. This time, there would be no quietly recovering the remains and carrying on as if nothing had happened.

This time, Stan, Ford, and everyone had to die before they could tell.

#gravity falls #pirate au #my fics #hey kids you want some pirates #the Bill chapter #and honestly Bill is a content warning in and out of himself #tw violence #tw minor character death #if you need more warning tags added let me know!

29 notes · View notes

praisetheaxolotl · 1 year

Note

What’s your thoughts on how Bill got his powers?

At first, I thought that he had gotten them AFTER he destroyed his dimension, but that doesn’t really make any sense because he used his powers to destroy it in the first place.

Do you think he was born with them? Or something else?

Funny you should ask that, because Back In The Day i actually had a full Bill backstory fic planned- never written, but planned.

But in my fic, he was born with them! I forgot what my explanation was, or if I even had one. I guess.... have you seen Nope? The movie, y'know? Or at least heard of it? It's like they said in that movie- what does a bad miracle look like?

I suppose Bill's powers were a bad miracle.

I have my old notes somewhere, all I remember was that he was an Irregular in a family of Equilaterals, he had a twin (equilateral) brother named Caesar, he got corrective surgery to make him look "proper" at some point... uuhhh.... Flatland was divided into two "halves" a la the Berlin Wall, where one side was a lot stricter with the laws and a lot more prejudiced, while the other side was laxer with irregulars and the such, and Bill was on the strict side.

He was also adopted, because I remember a scene where he meets his biological, Isosceles father. His birth mother had since killed herself- tendencies like that ran in her family. I guess his Equilateral family just, adopted him with the intent to get him surgically fixed up once he was of proper age. But Bill, as a "genetic Irregular" was not allowed to have kids.

Bill rarely ever used his powers growing up, and his life with Caesar was fairly mundane, honestly, which was the point. They eventually moved out and lived together? Bill was a prostitute for a while with some irregulars who were being harbored by the guy in charge and it ended with his, uh, "boss" being blinded by him.

There was this subplot where Bill and a wealthy couple make a deal that benefits both of them- Bill, still angry at not being allowed to have kids, wanted a kid. The couple was societally expected to have a child, but didn't want one. So Bill was gonna impregnate the line woman, she was gonna have the baby in secret and tell everyone it was a stillbirth. And that she was so torn up over it that she can't bring herself to try again, no, not just yet, the loss, the wound, it still stings. You get the idea.

It ended very not well.

I swear this all connected WAY better back then. I'm 22 trying to remember 16, man, it's not gonna be a clear image.

ANYWAY point being, Bill was born with his powers and he did destroy his dimension with them in a semi-accidental fit of rage, i.e. he meant to burn stuff, just not everything.

And yes, he killed his brother in this incident. I remember that scene, it was fucking rough. You all should be glad I didn't write this.

And then a bunch of other stuff happened. There was a canon trans character. It was gonna be canon that the caesar cipher was named after Bill's brother, by Bill. He did that.

It probably would have been very not good but who knows? It's not like I was godawful back then. But there's my extremely long-winded answer~

#hope u liked uuhhhhh fanfiction power hour #it was gonna be called l'appel du vide

16 notes · View notes

geometropolis · 1 year

Text

grt3D episode 15: proof

the inhabitants of the paradox had given in and decided they’d do proofs to pass the time.

“it wouldn’t hurt,” parallelogram had said.

“okey dokey!” origin had replied. “so… who would like to volunteer to be proven?”

“me me me!!!!” pentagon had exclaimed, jumping up and down.

“okay… so pentagon, as you can see, is a regular pentagon. let’s name her vertices A, B, C, D, and E, going clockwise from her top point… now, if i inscribe a triangle in her, with vertices at A, C, and D–” with a flash a triangle appeared on pentagon, “–prove that this triangle is isosceles.”

triangle groaned. this is gonna be a long day.

and thus they all proceed to do proofs through the challenge into the night.

“pentagon and heptagon were annoying to solve,” triangle whined. “let’s do someone easy.”

“okay, how about you then?” rectangle suggested, nudging her.

“auugh.”

“sounds good to me!” origin said. “okay… so let’s label her top vertex A, right vertex B, and left vertex C… now, if side AB is congruent to side AC, prove that angle A is congruent to angle C!”

“...well, first we have our given information,” oval said. “side AB is congruent to side AC, because that’s given.”

“okay, then, we might be able to do CPCTC later on if we split her in half,” droplet suggested.

“WHAT?” triangle cried.

“she just m-meant a line that bisects you,” heart explained. “so angle A is bisected as well.”

“okay, so we’re making a bisector,” origin announced. “bisecting angle A, and dropping down to side BC on point… D.” this bisector then appeared.

“now that angle A is bisected, we have two new angles,” kite said. “angle CAD and angle BAD.”

“angle BAD?” trapezoid said. “i thought angle GOOD.”

pentagon chuckled.

“...then we can say that angles CAD and BAD are congruent, because that’s what a bisector does,” kite continued.

“and, well, we can use the reflexive property to prove that bisector AD is congruent to itself!” rhombus exclaimed. “which means that the two halves of triangle have a side, an angle, and a side in common!! SAS!!!”

“so the triangles are congruent,” heptagon said. “then you do CPCTC, and angles A and C are congruent.”

“hooray!!!!” origin giggled. “you got another one!!!!!!!”

“you people are such nerds,” triangle groaned. “and get this bisector off of me!!”

with a flash the bisector disappeared. “sorry! …okay, so who’s next?”

nobody spoke up.

“y’know, now that i think about it, proofs are actually really boring,” parallelogram said. “this stuff sucks.”

“you’re all very good at it, though!” origin pointed out.

“well yeah, because we’ve had to do it a billion times in school,” circle answered. “we all know how… even if we don’t want to.”

“really?”

“yes!” pentagon exclaimed. “and i hate school!!!”

“y’know, i got in trouble at school because i would fool around,” trapezoid said. “but that’s because it was so annoying! everything was memorization – memorize all of these equations and properties and whatnot! because that’s what your jobs are gonna be! equations and properties and whatnot!! and i had a horrible memory so every class was boring and stressful at the same time. living hell, that’s what it was.”

“yeah…” droplet concurred. “i get in trouble for doodling in class even though it’s the only way for me to pay attention.”

“wait a sec–” rectangle interjected, “i always thought i had all these fond memories of high school, but it’s only because square and triangle would convince circle and i to cut class. we’d just hang out and talk…”

“oh yeah!” circle piped up. “those were good times.”

“i only did well because i was scared my t-teachers would get mad at me if i didn’t,” heart admitted.

“does anyone here even like math?” oval asked.

after a moment, rhombus spoke up. “...i do.”

“i guess we shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“but i do wish it weren’t shoved in my face. it makes it a lot less fun.”

“okay,” triangle said, “so we can all agree that school sucks?”

“i guess so,” origin concluded.

“but don’t say that in front of the children!” trapezoid spoke in a hushed voice, gesturing towards pentagon and droplet.

“we already know it sucks!” they said in unison.

“...anyway, it’s not only school. our jobs are the same, it’s just that now we get paid to push pencils.”

“it isn’t all bad…” heptagon murmured.

“hm?”

“i mean… it’s kinda silly, but i like it. i like having a ‘boring’ life.”

parallelogram understood. “you don’t really find it boring, do you?”

“no. i don’t particularly enjoy math, but i’m fine doing it. it’s nice.”

“geez, you really weren’t the target demographic for this show,” triangle chuckled. “that’s unfortunate.”

“but as for the rest of you…” origin said, “no wonder you all wanted to win so badly. if i were you i’d do anything to get out of geometropolis.”

“so we’ve torn each other apart over it.”

“möbius strip definitely won’t let you guys forget it. sorry about that.”

“stop apologizing for him!” oval exclaimed. “goodness gracious, he’s messed you up as much as the rest of us.”

“how?”

“he forces you to do his bidding. that alone must not be fun, but especially for the eliminations? yeesh.”

“i mean… it isn’t that bad. i’m used to it at this point.”

“...what makes you say that?” parallelogram asked.

“i’ve been doing this for a long, long while. race to the 3rd dimension, i mean.”

nobody knew what he meant.

“anyway,” origin continued, “i suppose that’s it for the proofs. so what now? what are you all gonna do?”

“i’m not sure…” droplet said.

“well… you have the whole paradox to explore. you can do whatever you want.”

rectangle paused for thought. “...what do we want?”

nobody had a proper response to that.

“darn,” triangle muttered. “hey, what time is it?”

“i think it’s around midnight,” origin said. “we’ve been doing this for a while.”

“ugh.”

“i’m going to sleep…” heptagon mumbled.

“i mean, what is there for us to do?” oval asked. “we’ve already done proofs. we’ve already talked. we’ve already reconciled with one another a billion times over. there’s no challenge to watch… hey, origin, what’s tomorrow’s challenge? or… i guess… today’s? it is midnight.”

“um, there won’t be a challenge today,” origin replied. “möbius strip is gonna have me set up the stuff for the final challenge, and that’ll take all day.”

“so what will the final contestants do?” droplet asked.

“i guess they’ll be as bored as you guys are.”

“golly.”

“huh, i wonder who the final contestants will be…” rhombus muttered. “we didn’t see yesterday’s challenge, so we don’t know who’s up for elimination.”

“true…” trapezoid said. “as of now we have hexagon, octagon, star, and square. hey origin, what was yesterday’s challenge? if möbius tells you these things ahead of time you should know.”

“oh yeah,” origin replied. “it would’ve been a go-kart race. i wonder how they pulled that off without me making the karts…”

“so, hm, who would win at a go-kart race?”

“i would,” pentagon said.

heart laughed. “who of the remaining contestants would win at a g-go-kart race?”

“i mean, supposing they had to build their own go-karts…” kite mused, “droplet was the inventor. she had major influence on both star and square, so perhaps they had an upper hand.”

droplet nodded.

“at the same time,” rectangle pointed out, “hexagon and octagon are, respectfully… big nerds.”

triangle guffawed. “takes one to know one, tango!”

rectangle giggled. “you know what i mean. those two would be able to plan something smart, i’m sure.”

“they have been working well together!” circle added. “golly, helvetica always seems to pull through, huh?”

“indeed we do!” trapezoid concurred.

“because we’re the best team!!!!!” pentagon exclaimed. “i bet one of us won.”

“i wouldn’t put it past them,” parallelogram said.

the conversation didn’t end up going anywhere from that point.

“this is why i hate summer,” triangle groaned after a while. “at least during the rest of the year i have work or school or something to do. now we’re all stuck here doing nothing.”

“funny how this weird pocket dimension of nothingness evokes the same feelings as home,” rectangle said sadly. “why haven’t we all moved away?”

“we tried to.”

and then there was silence.

“triangle,” circle piped up after a moment, “if rectangle, square, and i didn’t sign up for race to the 3rd dimension, would you?”

“probably.”

“but you wanted us to sign up.”

“...yeah.”

“i mean, i only signed up cuz star w-wanted me to,” heart pointed out. “i could never just up and l-leave on my own.”

“but anyway,” rhombus said, “this would only be a vacation. 3rd dimension for a few days, and then back to geometropolis. say, origin, how long will the winner stay there?”

“uhhh i dunno,” origin answered. “möbius strip is in charge of that. he’s never told me.”

“but we’re presuming it’s temporary?”

“...i’d imagine.”

heart found this response unnerving.

“i knew someone in college who moved out of geometropolis,” oval said. “never heard from him again though. i bet he completely forgot this place existed.”

“were you friends with him?” droplet asked.

“no. i don’t think he had any friends, actually.”

“have any of your friends moved out?” kite asked.

“no… i guess not. not friends, anyway.”

“hm.”

“rectangle…” triangle murmured. “you know better than anyone how much square hated it in geometropolis. he could’ve moved.”

“well…” rectangle replied, “there’s probably a reason why he never told you guys. he’d never just leave you here.”

“screw us all, we’re too sentimental to get out of that hellhole,” parallelogram chuckled.

“hey, parry…” kite said, “at first you really didn’t wanna be here. why didn’t you sign up? what was keeping you?”

“i mean… well, it’s stupid. i was about to get a raise.”

“ah.”

“but i don’t care about that anymore. i’m glad i’ve gotten the chance to be here.”

“even though you hate the host and the way the show works?” origin asked.

“...yeah.”

“and even though you’re all bored as sin.”

“i mean…”

“maybe you should just go to sleep, parry,” heptagon muttered, having partially woken up. “none of you would be bored if you were asleep.”

“but i’d rather be awake to talk,” droplet said. “even though it’s far past my bedtime.”

“...and even though you’re all bored as sin,” origin repeated.

“i feel like you’re trying to prove a point, origin,” trapezoid said.

“i’m just trying to understand. do you folks like to be bored? or stressed out of your mind? both? i thought some of you guys hated each of those respective things. if you keep complaining about things, why won’t you change them?”

“there’s not much we could change,” triangle said. “in the challenge, or in here.”

“or in your regular lives?”

“or in our regular lives.”

“i mean, we do our best to change things for the better, when we can,” circle said, “but i guess in the end there’s only so much you can do. and you have to find a way to be content with it.”

“but you guys compared geometropolis to hell approximately a billion times!” origin exclaimed. “how could you be content with hell?”

“only the primes know,” kite said wistfully. “do we genuinely love our hometown? do we genuinely love this show? or are we just so used to them that we, chaining ourselves to one another, fool ourselves into thinking we love them?”

“ohhhhhhhhh!!!!!! just like borromean rings!!!!!!!!!!”

“...what?”

“oh, it’s a 3D thing. if i tried to explain it, it wouldn’t make any sense to you.”

“then how do you understand it?” rhombus asked.

“through my sister. she’s in the 3rd dimension… but anyway! i understand now: none of you are really connected to your current state, but through a proverbial brunnian link you are staying put. you cannot separate from one another.”

“...i guess?” triangle replied quizzically.

“whoever ends up going to the 3rd dimension will better understand,” rectangle said wryly.

“and who do we think that will be?” parallelogram asked.

“we’re still not sure of the finalists…!”

“but we will be in a couple of hours!” origin exclaimed. “i suppose you all should try to sleep: i bet this morning will be pretty crazy…!”

…

octagon lay in bed alone. she had never seen hexagon enter the cabin the night before.

“i swear i did not play hooky,” octagon sang to herself softly, “i just want to eat a cookie…”

she took the pacifier out of her mouth.

“i am a girl who’s oh-so sweet, but i just want a little treat…”

octagon held the pacifier with shaky hands and went silent.

“HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!” a voice sang. möbius strip, obviously, from the volume of his voice.

octagon jolted and fell from her bed.

“IT’S TIME FOR THE ELIMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

she stuck the pacifier back in her mouth and wearily trudged out the door. she met the other contestants in the field.

all except hexagon.

star yawned. “oh, origin, you’re back.”

the big shape indeed was. “yes, i am! good morning…”

“SO… SQUARE, OCTAGON, AND STAR…” möbius said, “ONE OF YOU WILL NOT BE ADVANCING TO THE FINALS. WHO WILL IT BE…?”

octagon chewed her pacifier tensely, her brows furrowing.

“enough with the stalling, möbius,” square groaned.

“FINE. THE ELIMINATED CONTESTANT IS… OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!”

“DAMN IT!” octagon spat, her pacifier flying out of her mouth. square, star, and origin edged back at the sound of her voice. “DAMN YOU, MӦBIUS! DAMN YOU, HEXAGON! DAMN YOU EVERYONE!”

möbius crept towards origin. “now, twinky dink, if you dare disobey me today i will defy every law of physics to kill you.”

origin gulped. “...okay.” and he began to buzz.

octagon’s arms and legs disappeared, just as they had the day before. she started drifting towards origin.

“i’m sorry,” origin mumbled to her.

without another word the two disappeared.

“SO WE’RE DOWN TO THE FINAL 3!!!!!” möbius announced. “BUT WE WON’T DO THE FINAL CHALLENGE TODAY.”

“why not?” square asked.

“IT’LL TAKE A WHILE FOR TWINKLE TO PREPARE. SO JUST… I DUNNO, JUST GO OFF AND DO WHATEVER YOU GUYS NORMALLY DO.”

square paused for a moment before running over to helvetica’s old cabin. hexagon was sitting behind it.

“hexagon…” square said. “she’s gone.”

…

“and origin will be back,” rhombus started, “in 3… 2… 1…”

“I HATE YOU, HEXAGON!” a voice suddenly cried.

“...octagon?” trapezoid was confused and concerned, seeing origin appear with his friend and teammate. “octagon?? what happened???”

she approached him warily. “...i bet you were using me just like her.” octagon’s voice was shaky.

“octagon, what are you talking about?”

“don’t play dumb, trapezoid! didn’t you see? didn’t you all see how hexagon left me for dead?”

“huh?” pentagon edged towards them. “what do you mean?”

“in yesterday’s challenge!” octagon spat. “we could’ve tied and both made the finals! but hexagon ditched me at the last second so she could win! …i thought we were in it together…”

trapezoid didn’t know what to say.

“...i thought we were friends…” octagon began to cry.

“i’m sure she just–” pentagon started.

“don’t make excuses for her! what, are you in cahoots with her too, pentagon???”

“i don’t understand…”

“she only became friends with me because she wanted to use me as a tool. did you do that too? did you, trapezoid?”

“...i’m sure that’s not what really happened…” trapezoid murmured.

“stop dodging the question! were either of you ever actually friends with me?”

“of course we’re friends with you!” pentagon exclaimed. “of course we’re friends!”

octagon seemed to not hear her. she glanced at the other eliminated contestants, who were all staring at her. with confusion? sympathy? “what are you all looking at?” she snarled.

they all averted their glances… except for circle. “i’m so sorry that happened, octagon,” he murmured.

she blinked at him. he did not approach, nor did he say anything more.

“but octagon…” trapezoid’s voice was low. “hey, why don’t you tell us the whole story?”

“...why don’t you know?”

“origin was here. we didn’t get to watch the challenge.”

octagon sighed. “oh, right. so, um… we had a go-kart race challenge and hexy – i mean, hexagon and i worked on our karts together. i thought we’d be able to collaborate well and make a good design – and we did! we’ve always worked well together. when it came to the race itself, the two of us were tied for first place the whole time. i knew this challenge was only supposed to have one winner, only one confirmed finalist, but… i thought that if we tied, maybe by technicality we’d both get immunity into the finals. i wanted us to be there together… so we stuck together – until star hit me with that weird remote thing, making my arms and legs disappear… of course, at that point i couldn’t drive anymore, and my kart stopped.” octagon’s breath caught. her voice trembled. “i yelled out to hexagon for help! but instead of doing something, anything, she just stared at me. and she left me. and she won. hexagon, my first friend in the world, betrayed me at the last second so she could win. she was using me. she was using me!”

trapezoid and pentagon were taken aback.

“what did…” trapezoid began slowly, “what did she say afterwards?”

“she said that she loved me. but i’m sure she was lying. she was lying.”

pentagon nudged octagon softly. “how about we rest, ‘kay?”

octagon sobbed.

“you have us,” trapezoid assured her. “i promise.”

meanwhile, the rest of the inhabitants of the paradox were discussing the coming finals.

“so our finalists are star, hexagon, and square,” rhombus said. “who are we all rooting for?”

“let’s go square!!!!!!!!” rectangle exclaimed.

“square! square!! square!!!” circle and triangle cheered in unison.

“hm,” droplet said. “i’m not sure whether to root for him or star. can i pick both?”

“sure,” rhombus replied. “why not?”

“how about you? who do you want to win?”

“...dunno. i think hexagon’s the most likely to win, but i’m not particularly partial to any of them.”

“i’m going for star,” parallelogram said. “he was a good teammate.”

“yeah,” heptagon agreed. “lovely guy…”

heart had been talking to himself. “i want star to win,” he finally announced, in a voice more confident – and loud – than he had anticipated. “i m-mean… i think star’s come a long way. i’d be really happy to see h-him find happiness for himself.”

“that’s fair,” kite said. “i for one am on the fence. i want to support hexagon, but…”

“you’re not sure about her?” parallelogram finished her sentence.

“yeah. for her to leave octagon behind is one thing, y’know, it’s just her desire to win in the moment, but i just can’t believe that it would be premeditated!”

“i suppose we can’t know for sure. what do you want to believe?”

“...i want to believe she was really friends with octagon. i mean, even for us it’s kinda disturbing to think that someone so nice and friendly and supportive would turn out like that.”

“y’know, ask me a week ago and i’d tell you that the competition could do that to anyone, even hexagon,” triangle said, “but now? no. i just can’t believe it.”

“i guess all of us cynics are being mind-controlled by all of these bright, sunshiney people,” parallelogram chuckled.

“i’m not a cynic! i was just guilty.”

“...what’s the difference?”

“anyway, i find it hard to have an opinion,” oval said. “i guess being co-host has forced me to be impartial…”

“i won’t believe that for a second!” circle exclaimed, nudging him. “your vote is on star, isn’t it?”

“...yeah…”

droplet glanced over at octagon, who was surrounded by trapezoid and pentagon. are trapezoid and pentagon rooting for hexagon? she wondered. how about octagon? i’m not sure if she has anyone else to root for…

“hexagon…” octagon muttered under her breath. “i hope you’re happy…”

“what was that?” trapezoid asked.

“nothing… nothing at all…”

#story #object novel #osc #geometropolis #geometropolis: race to the 3rd dimension #grt3d

5 notes · View notes

presidentcircles-assistant · 11 months

Text

some OCs i don’t mention quite as much:

Vincent- A Circle, the son of Dean and Carmen, who are both very vain and stuck up. Vincent has their snobbish nature, but is a lot more reserved, mostly as a result of the fact that when he was born, his Sides regressed from his parent’s; his father had 45, while he had 28. Such a giant step backwards doesn’t give him the brightest reputation. Most Circles are content with choosing any wife, no matter the family she comes from, but Dean hadn’t been. He refused to marry anybody unless she proved her heritage to be 100% perfectly regular. As a result, he was alone for a very long time until a rich Line named Carmen heard about him and proved that her ancestry was completely regular, and they married. When Vincent was born, they were both in disbelief, unable to accept that they had spent all their lives abstaining from anyone who wasn’t perfectly regular just to get repaid like this, and they both blamed the other, saying they had been deceived. Still, though, neither of them would be caught dead with a child that went against everything they stood for, and they hid his side count from the world, maintaining a good enough façade of a happy marriage. At least, until he turned 12, when a doctor that couldn’t be bribed into silence ending up revealing their secret. It completely wrecked Vincent and his family’s status, and any political job he might have taken to follow in his father’s sidesteps rejected him, not wanting his kind to represent them. Vincent now works as an archivist, an easy enough job that he’s passionate in. He’s content, and his family’s riches keep him afloat (if anything, just because they feel bad for what they created). He hasn’t married yet, giving the reasoning that nobody in their right mind would want to marry someone who would send a family’s sides backwards. Though he keeps to himself, he isn’t at a complete loss for acquaintances; he can always be seen hanging around Fraser, an old Pentagon that served as a medic in a war, who knew Vincent when he was just a young Circle. He can also always be seen visiting a merchant called Equilateris, who owns an old, family run clothing shop.

Equilateris: An Equilateral, coming from a long line of similar Shapes who have been desperately trying to break into the Square class. His two older brothers were born Squares, much to the delight of his father, Ed, and he was born as an Equilateral, much to the disappointment of his father. After having 2 other, better children, Ed couldn’t be bothered to give him any sort of meaningful name. And besides, ‘Equilateris’ reminds him to always think about how much of a dead weight he was to the family tree, motivation to make something of his life. Equilateris doesn’t care much for the family business, but carries it on, if only because his brothers are all lawyers and he has no other relatives who would swap places with him. Although, he has always taken an interest in radios, and makes side money with a radio repair business. He tries his angle at other electronics as well, and is well versed in them, but they don’t interest him quite as much. His eldest brother often drops off his kids at Equilateris’ shop while he’s off at his own job; Jamie, Sam, two Squares, and Virgil, an adopted Equilateral from an Isosceles family; and they’re a constant presence, usually causing trouble. Well, mostly the Squares; Virgil is always silently watching, never uttering a word more than required of him. The most notable customer there is Vincent, though he doesn’t seem to actually have any real reason to be there so often.

#flatland oc #gay shapes #i based this off of kismet’s. i like writing as if this is a description u would hear from an outsider who only knew of them

2 notes · View notes

georgi-girl · 1 month

Text

Babble: Track 16

I believe the world is burning to the ground

Oh well, I guess, we're gonna find out

Let's see how far we've come!

I believe the world is coming to an end

Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend

Let's see us far we've come!

@@@@

Rest assured, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.

You just don’t know the lengths us we old timers go through for a little quality time with our family.

You two are like the mystery twins.

I don’t know how a lemon so sour can be related to a peach so sweet.

The future is in the past. Onward Aoshima!

I like these guys.

I guess we’re both freaks.

Man, revenge is underrated that felt awesome.

Everything is different now.

Why is it that whenever you’re around there’s always ghosts and monsters or whatever?

I dare say you would’ve defeated me, if it wasn’t for your sibling bickering.

I ate a man alive tonight.

We put the "fun" in "No Refunds".

My voice may not be perfect, but it’s mine and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Don’t you know what it’s like to fall for someone, even though you know in your heart that it’ll probably never work out, but you’d do anything for that person?

@You had me at shut up old man.

Why don’t you just leave me alone?!

BROS BEFORE DINOS!

You leave our uncle’s brain alone you isosceles monster!

Every victory you had was because of this book.

Without it I can’t help you or Stan, or anyone.

Kids listen: This town is crazy, so you need to be careful. I don’t know what I would do with myself if you got hurt on my watch.

I have more fun with you than like practically anyone else. And if you ever stopped being my friend, I would like throw myself into the bottomless pit.

What did you say you little trolls? I will sue you! I will sue you and I will own you!

Who would sacrifice everything they worked for just for their dumb sibling?

... Dipper would.

Please let my friends go! I’ll do anything you want I promise!

Welp, I learned nothing from all this.

Have you met my family!?

Maybe I messed up in the past, but that I’ve seen what happened I can begin to put myself together again.

I’ve been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike. I know who my family is now. And it’s you dudes.

I just needed to move on… I’m happy? Weird right?

Our family name is broken! And I’m going to fix it!

Do you really think I’m a bad guy?

You give me my house back, you give me my name back…

As far as I’m concerned, they’re the only family I have left.

In my time I’ve made many powerful enemies. But I trust you with this secret.

Do I really want “Cooked Grifter” written on my tombstone?

It’s time we stopped trying to be so “perfect” and be who we really are.

Confidence can buy you a lot. But at the end of the day, pickup artists tend to get our heads bitten off.

Can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?

You’ll still have your brother with you through thick and thin. Not everyone can say that you know?

Being a hero means… This summer, I’ve seen some amazing things… you need to make up and team up… So close… The best you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving. Will you tell her what I did?

Let my body be… When you told me… I don’t know what’s… Time to pop your…

Wait… I’ve been… Even in… So, I was… Serves that… Don’t you see… If we band together… Holy… Quit the… You’re… I’ve made some… You’re looking at… Thanks for these… Fine I’ll… After all I’ve… If you didn’t… Well maybe… Those weird… I won’t… This was... I just want… Oh no you… What are you… Now’s our… Just so we’re… It looks even… I’m so… I think I’m… No more… I knew I... You must… I’ve tried… Yes yes… Wow… Don’t turn this… Shut up… This is… The rest of… Dang it... Come on… I’ve… I’ll…

@@@@

The last thing they all individually remembered was four big vines coming out of Bill's symbol, briefly making a big green X before branching out and grabbing them and pulling them to the center.

Next thing they knew, they were waking up in a big crater, all fused together, with that wheel branded on their chest. The town was mostly restored to normal. The people... not so much.

"Who are you?"

"I'm... Dipper Pines. No I'm not I'm Mabel Pines. No I'm not I'm Wendy Corderoy. No I'm not, I'm Gideon Gleeful. No I'm not that either, I'm... I'm... I'm going to be sick."

@@@@

One step made an earthquake. One touch mutated their pets.

On August 31, they walked into the woods and kept walking.

"Are you okay?"

they didn't look up.

"Does it matter?"

Something tapped their head. They finally looked up and there, standing on a rock, was an eight-inch pink woman with platinum blond hair and a tail. "Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked.

“What are you?”

“I’m tired is what I am. But the word you’re looking for is Troll.”

“Troll? Like live under a bridge, asks people riddles, turns to stone in the sunlight troll?”

“That’s not how it actually works, but yeah.”

They laughed at the randomness of it all. “Of course! Why not? Gnomes are perverts, unicorns are frauds, angels are hipsters, it totally tracks that troll would be… like you."

"What's wrong with me?" the woman asked offended.

… “Now that I think about it, nothing we guess.” They took a closer look at her. She had full glossy lips, smokey eyes, and wore a two-piece lilac-colored jumpsuit that showed off her midriff. A heart-shaped stone shone in her navel, and her tufted tail had a tambourine hung on it like jewelry.

"We guess, I guess, I... You probably want a different place to relax." They said, still unsure of how to present to others.

The pink troll woman squinted at them, asking "Seriously, are you okay? I haven't met many humans yet, but you seem a bit... off."

"It's... a long story." They admitted.

"Well, luck you. I love long stories." She sat cross-lgged on the rock and stuck her tiny doll hand out. "I'm Rose."

They smiled. "I don't really know who I am anymore but," they shook her hand with their extra finger. "call me Zodiac."

#how far we've come #matchbox twenty #flashback chapter #gravity falls quotes #babble au

0 notes

titanicfreija · 8 months

Text

The Space Port

"Brains or brawn?" asked Freija, placidly studying the heavy firedoors.

"Brains first, please," Sunny pleaded.

"Where's the door, then?"

"The one in front of you?"

Freija tried it to make sure it wouldn't open, not disappointed. "Locked. And digital, and lacking power. Next door?"

Sunny guided her to the one-sided emergency exit. "Hear me out," she said first, but Freija punched the doorframe at the latch, warping the metal with a single muted BANG and letting the door fall open.

"That was clean!" Sunny cheered. "Great job!"

"Thank you," the Titan breathed, creeping inside.

"If you find me a control center, or at least a map, I should be able to help you find stuff. We're looking for a navigational system, I'll help you find the right one; a radar receptor; and a.... you won't know what that is. Do you know what a Pythagorean Core is?"

"I take it that's not an isosceles triangle formula?"

"It's named after the mathematician, and it's used in jump drives."

Sunny could come out to light the way, but she still kept close to Freija's face to keep low.

The closest desk was not the central desk, but one of a stretch off one wing. "This place is shaped like a bird," Freija observed. "And we are on the wingtip."

"That might help to keep in mind," Sunny said. "We want to go to the northernmost for the tools, but we need to find... shit."

Freija checked her radar and spun to see nothing, startled by the swear. "What."

"Well, nothing registered here is compatible with your ship, but the ship graveyard back there might have something, and I think we can adjust a few pieces to fit it to your cooling system."

"I love you so much," Freija said, voice warm with relief. They laid out the map on her visual and marked goal point at the northernmost end.

As they were at the easternmost wing, and the port spanned literal miles, Freija had a long walk.

To her delight, the plants only got so far in, and many of the billboards and advertisements remained legible.

"Je lis le Français," she said incredulously. "Je parle Français. Ne pas le croire."

"Me, neither," mumbled Sunny. Watching Freija read had to be the strangest experience she'd had, sharing her Guardian's visuals. Words caught her attention like never before, and she often glanced around to find more. Sunny watched the radar for her to make sure nothing was coming.

"English fits better in my mouth," she said then. "You said I was Tower-born, right?"

"Yeah. I imagine Fira taught you on the road. You picked up lots of words, maybe you liked French and decided to pick it up?"

Freija shrugged wide and pulled her shotgun off her back as the red line pinged on her radar.

*interpretation: "I can read French. I can speak French. I can't believe it."

On a Walk

First Step

Into the Dark

Detour

New Experience

Traveling

The Spaceport <-

Sneaking

Nobility

Rescue Operations

Caught

Gratitude

Pride

#destiny 2 #d2 #ocs #writing #freija #scribble #sunny #prose #drama #dark zone

0 notes

normal-horoscopes · 3 years

Text

REVIEWING OCCULT TEXTS I FIND IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BOOK STORES:

The Alchemy of Nine Dimensions, Decoding The Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar by Barbara Hand Clow and Gerry Clow

Welcome to 2004. The towers have fallen, Y2K turned out to be kinda boring, and a teenager named Mark Zuckerburg just invented a thing he called Facebook. The dreams of the 90s are making themselves manifest. The future is here! But it is nothing like what we imagined.

The early 2000s are the head of a sea change for occult history. Harsh reality has drawn back the veil of Lady Night and many the new-agers did not like what they found. Mysticism of the new millennium is both more fearful and more sober, more attentive and more ignorant. It is obsessed with news feeds and with chat forums. Faded were the days of malevolent babylonian gods trapped in the quartz of the car radio. Gone were the councils of intergalactic energy beings speaking to midwestern dads on the toilet. The millennial occult was serious. Grounded. It was secretive groups of all-too-human men in suits puppeting the world on strings woven from headlines.

But not for Barbara.

A veritable battering ram of 90s techno-mysticism, Barbara Hand Clow chugs into the 2000’s laden with tales of psychic alien holograms from Space-India, undaunted by the cynicism of the post-9/11 world. In many ways she is the link, the trans-continential railroad between the UFO obsessed 80s and the Ancient Aliens resurgence of the 2010′s.

In The Alchemy of Nine Dimensions, Barbara Hand Clow promises to help us discover multidimensionality in our daily lives. Now, dear readers, I know how much you’ve always wanted to discover multidimensionality in your lives. Its all you ever talk about. But you know what? I like you. You’ve got moxie. So tell you what: Over the course of this review, I will detail each of the nine dimensions described. I will decode the vertical axis, crop circles, and the Mayan Calendar. For you.

A warning: This book gets antisemitic, reader discretion is advised.

Prelude: The Vertical Axis

“In late fall of 1994, a hologram of light appeared in my head, which was familiar to me as a reception of consciousness from unseen dimensions. I call these “thought atoms” or “monads,” and they have initiated my previous books.”

A strong start from Barbara. This was familiar to her. She receives consciousness from unseen dimensions all the time. Its not a big deal. It should be said, this text is actually the sequel to a fairly well-known text called “The Pleiadian Agenda: A New Cosmology for the Age of Light” in which Barbara was contacted by a Psychic Alien Goddess named Satya. The premise of this text is that Satya is back again, and this time the bars will be hotter, the beats will be doper, and the supremacy even whiter. You can mark off “Magic White People From Space” on your bingo cards.

So what is the Vertical Axis? Well, according to Barbara: “The way it works is simple. “While we are alive, we exist in linear space and time -3D- which is a plane; 2D is shown as an isosceles triangle with one side as the 3d plane, and the bottom point is 1D-the iron core crystal in the center of the earth.”

Now, even from an occult perspective, none of that makes sense. The way that Barbara talks about “dimensions“ doesn't mean dimensions in the sense that normal people understand them. To Barbara, a “dimension” is a thing of perception, a lens through which we see the world. When Barbara says “we exist in 3D” that basically means “We are able to perceive the physical concepts of height, width, and depth.” If you are confused, please study this diagram.

Her cosmology is a bizarre mix of 14th century Christian alchemy and vague Taoism. She references concepts like Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa's “Archytypical Realm” alongside ideas of “denser” lower dimensions existing on a ladder to up to “lighter” dimensions. In her cosmology, humans are fundamentally dense and sinful, the psychic trash of the world converges on the earth due to its heavy and dense iron core, causing us incredible psychic trauma that blocks us from higher dimensions of perception. However, through meditation and psychic healing, we too can ascend up the Vertical Axis.

Dimension 1: Gerry, and the Iron Core.

“I began teaching with Barbara in Crete in 1996. I was one of nine men in a group of forty women; we men were celebrated by the women for our bravery, and the women deeply enjoying being feminine in this goddess-rich landscape. I love Crete”

Meet Barbara’s husband. This is presumably the man in the previous diagram.

This chapter begins with a short meditation on feeling ones physicality with specific attention brought to the feet. This book has an audio version. I am sure this section would be entertaining.

Naturally, we shift into a discussion of the earths iron core. It is a fairly realistic description of how the earth is structured, with said dense core of iron. However, Barbara talks about it as if it is an extremely sacred megastructure accessible by humans through prayer, and not an impossibly dense ball of plasmic metal. The structure of this chapter is actually quite smart. Barbara gives us a prayer we can perform ourselves, then frontloads us with actual scientific information to make her claims seem credible by association. In reality all she does is list some facts about the earth’s core, then lists some new-age bullshit as if it follows logically.

“Also, according to Satya, because we have iron in our blood, we are wired to vibrate with Gaia in our blood. The blood coursing through our veins pulses with the iron core crystal because it has crystalline iron components.”

I am unsure if Barbara knows that Iron cannot form crystals at 5200 degrees C. In fact, the pressure at the earths core is so great that the iron is considered to be a plasma behaving as a solid. I am sure Gaia doesn’t mind though.

Also in this section she describes how the Pleiadians have access to additional spiritual powers because their planet doesn't have an iron core. You can mark off “Secret Chakras Only White People Have” on your bingo cards.

Dimension 2: The Telluric World and Barely Disguised Antisemitism

We begin with another meditation, this time focusing on attempting to sense other creatures with your psychic mind. Sure. Whatever.

The second dimension appears to be what we consider the physical world. The thing made of rocks and trees and birds, which Barbara calls the “Telluric World.” The term “Telluric” comes from a real-world scientific phenomenon of Telluric Current, the natural electrical current that passes through the earths crust. This section is interesting, but also where we run into some barely veiled antisemitism.

“The Pleiadians also warn that the power group that works to control the world of politics and finances -The Global Elite- is trying to harness 2D so it can control the world. A crisis looms for Earth’s inhabitants because the telluric realm will erupt in response to humans using and abiding its sacred powers. It always does.”

For those that don’t know, “Wealthy Elite '' and especially “Global Elite” are both dogwhistles for Jewish people, and harkens back to centuries old conspiracy theories about Jewish people attempting to control the world through financial means. This quote also mirrors some conspiracy theories from the 14th century in which Christians claimed that the Black Plague was the result of god punishing Christendom for allowing Judaism to exist. I cannot say for sure if Barbara is intentionally referencing this, but regardless the result is still the repetition of a narrative with an incredible amount of blood on its hands.

“Humanity has been taught to fear and be alienated from 2D by the Roman Catholic Church, a union of politics and religion - Caesar and the Church. Around 500 A.D. The Church was run by a cabal of ambitious alchemists and geomancers, who wanted to turn the people into dreaming sheep. The controllers of Judeo-Christian systems have been using alchemy and geomancy for thousands of years while they've murdered those who dared to use these powers for themselves, such as the Cathars and the Templar Knights.”

In texts like this, the term “Judeo-Christian” is a massive red flag. The anti-catholic as well as antisemitic sentiment is a uniquely american protestant bent on “We are the one true church and all those who came before us, especially Jewish people, have been punished by god for their heretical magic.” Barbara even extends this idea to things like modern science, stating that many cell phone users are getting cancer because the technology for cell phones is the result of semi-sentient higher-dimensional magic punishing humans for misusing it for profit.

As silly as this all might sound, it is a vessel for ancient hatred. These books are extremely effective at taking reasonable concerns about political corruption and transforming them into full-fledged spiritualized bigotry without the reader ever realizing. I hope I can help my readers recognize these narratives in the wild.

Dimension 3: Linear Spacetime

You know how some people talk about “The Lizard Brain?” Barbra takes this incredibly literally. The meditation at the head of this chapter is organized around ideas about accessing older versions of the self. There are vague references to a Cherokee grandfather and reincarnation. Barbara instructs us in how to construct an altar to access our “Centers” which refers to some ancient and primordial form of the self. What this means or why it is important to Barbara is illuminated by this quote:

“Various people and forces draw to manipulate you, to take your power away, or harm you cannot affect you while you are in your center. For example, Homeland Security cannot reach into your heart, even if it impressions our culture. If you are in prison reading this, create altars in your jail cell to access freedom.”

There are also references to the Pleiadians saying things like “These skills will be needed in the coming days.” The evangelical influences in preparing for an apocalypse are clear. The tone of the text becomes notably more colored by fear and panic as it progresses. What seemed like it began as a simple meditation guide is slowly becoming more consumed by ideas about some vague and rapidly approaching danger. There is always profit in selling preparation for the apocalypse, especially in America, and it seems that Barbara is no exception. The directness of the quote is also notable. She posits the Illuminati as a personal danger to the reader. They are here to manipulate you personally, to personally take your specific powers away.

This is insidious from a marketing perspective. On one hand, Barbara offers transcendence, a spiritual escape from the doldrums of living a normal middle class life. But on the other hand, any spiritual progress can can be taken away at any moment by a vague and all-encompassing threat. It places a time constraint on the reader. They must reach the ninth dimension before the Illuminati seals their bonus-chakras forever.

Dimension 4: The World of Myths and Archetypes.

This text is already turning out to be much denser than initially expected, and Barbra just opened one of the largest cans of worms millennial occultism has to offer and mentioned the Annunaki and Nibiru in the same sentence. I will be back, dear readers, this is a topic that will require a post all its own.

#Book Reviews #tw antisemitism #conspiracy

1K notes · View notes

hime-memes · 2 years

Text

* Cursed Comments Starters *

These starters have been created by request: “ Hi, could you make some meme sentence starters from funny internet comments? “ So, below are my best attempts at curating a list of as many as I can find !

As always: Feel free to change anything within these starters that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

Recommended For: Silly muses/plots/timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Alcohol/drug mentions, swearing, NSFW Themes.

“ Did that purple gummy stick his wee wee in the yellow one ? “ “ Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning. “ “ A dog chicken hybrid ? You mean a ‘ dicken ‘ ? “ “ Are you aware that NBA players do not have penetrative sex during a game ? “ "I find it very very difficult to take my skin off before cutting onions ... “ “ That’s wrong ... what if someone tricked you into eating human flesh ? “ “ ... That’s when you realized you were into necrophilia ?! “ “ They smell different awake. “ “ Thanks permit crab! The lack of uranium in my city’s water supply was really bugging me ! “ “ Yes, this also reminds me of your mom. “ “ Two words that changed my life ? Waluigi. Hentai. “ “ I’m a peaceful person, but I’d like to drag that creep into a dark alley and choke the last giggle out of him with my bare hands. “ “ And God said: ‘ Let there be steak ! ‘ “ “ Well, the good news is: if you were adopted then that wasn’t your real grandma that fell down the stairs ... just some old lady. “ “ ‘ Sir, you can’t do that in a subw -- ‘ ... ‘ I have a doctors note ! ‘ “ “ Why did my dad fuck that hamster ? “ “ V-Sauce Michael regularly slaughters infants. “ “ ... Then you can beat your enemies with your weaponized meat tube ! “ “ ( Name )‘s such a tight ass, only dogs can hear their farts ! “ “ ‘ Spoon ~ ‘ ... instant orgasm. “ “ Imagine being the developer that had to sculpt all the main character’s asscheeks ... dream job ! “ “ He peed on your wedding dress?...Take a shit on his favorite chair. Assert dominance ! “ “ Haven’t seen a man shred like that since my uncle fell into that wood chipper ... ” “ Turn on the stove -- I dare you ! “ “ Hypothermia ! It’s the coolest ! “ “ Drugs ? Yes, please ! “ “ My son uses this website, please don’t curse ! “ “ Good morning ladies & the gender that betrayed Jesus ... “ “ That’s not snow -- that’s spider webs. “ “ LMAO: Launching Missiles At Orphans. “ “ So far none of the bodies in the fridge have woken up -- so we’re doing good ! “ “ If my girl’s not shaped like an isosceles triangle, I don’t want her. “ “ In the name of science -- nothing is gay ! “ “ Spiderman gone wrong ! “ “ Mafia: School Edition. “ “ I scam grandmas. “ “ I personally like a more stealthy approach, such as a knife or axe. Also, I don’t know why -- but they’ve banned me from my local airsoft field. “ “ Would be more entertaining if he slipped off the roof and the lawn mower followed him ! “ “ Wow -- the only picture I know to type is ( . )( . ) ... “ “ Great -- now Pennywise is gonna be drunk ... “ “ I’d call you a tool, but then you’d be useful ... “

#rp meme #roleplay meme

27 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Text

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 6

Hi , do you got any fluffy johnlock with cuddling

(submitted by here-4-tha-ship)

Anonymous asked: hiii got any johnlock fics where sherlock wants a hug but he feels embarrassed to ask john? thank you sm <3

—–

Hi Lovelies!! I sure do! And enough to do a new list too!! So thank you, people don’t ask for this enough these days hahhah! Hope you enjoy!!

See also:

Hugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff (Pt. 2)

Hugs & Cuddles Pt. 2 /…/

…/ Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 /…

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 4

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 5

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, 5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #hugs and cuddles #my fic recs #fluff fics #submission

57 notes · View notes

theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Text

Friday Night Stabby best quotes (Tango birthday edition) part 18 (16/04/21)

Impulse: *zoomies into admin and stands by the table for about 3 seconds* Impulse: OH I don’t even have [the swipe card task]. *laughs* Etho: Uh… Impulse. I did kinda notice that. Impulse: I zoomed in here so fast I didn’t know I didn’t have a task. Etho: You ARE zooming around. Okay, I’ll let it pass. Impulse: *dashes to shields and does the task there* Etho: Actually, I dunno if I’m gonna let it pass. *leaves* Impulse: What?! I just did shields! Impulse, running after Etho: Etho! Love me! LOVE ME!

...

Endless: I think I might be invisible. Etho: Oh no, I was just ignoring you, Endless. Sorry. Skizz: Somebody say something?

...

Skizz: It has to be Mrs Tango. Mrs Tango: Why?! Skizz: It doesn’t have to be, I just feel it.

...

Impulse, running up to Skizz and Etho standing together on a task: Are you lovers? Are you lovers? Should I leave? Skizz: You know what, this is a monogamous relationship, buddy. Impulse: Do you need- Do you need help? Etho, if you are in need of help, wiggle twice. Skizz: *laughs* Etho: Well, he hasn’t killed me YET...

...

Evil: I found a dead Impulse in upper engine. Skizz: Cuz you killed him. Evil: Nope. Skizz: Cuz your partner killed him. Evil: Nope. Skizz: Cuz you called in a hitman and had him killed. Evil: ...Do you WANT me to vote for you, Skizz? *pause* Skizz: Cuz Joker killed him. Joker: Wow. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, there, Skizz. *pause* Joker: Just like that hair.

...

Joker: I wanna say it’s Skizzle cuz it looks like he’s wearing the head of Geoffrey the Giraffe’s sister. Skizz: Alright, listen. Listen. ‘Kay? You’ve gotten across how superficial you are. I know my hair is not to your liking, clown. Okay? You just sit over there and lemme be beautiful. Tango: Yeah, don’t be judgey.

...

*Brody’s body is reported* Endless: Aww, we miss you, Brody. Skizz: Eh. Let’s not get carried away. Joker: *laughs* I approve of this message.

...

*Skizz has a sheep accessory on his head* Evil: Skizz, are you feeling sheepish? Joker: DANG IT! I was gonna say that joke!

...

Skizz: Alright. I’ve disclosed myself as the spy so if I die, you know it was the imposter. Tango, laughing: If I die, an imposter killed me.

...

Astro: Can we vote for Joker for many reasons? But mostly because- Joker: What?! Why?! Tango: Oh, Etho’s the snitch! Astro, continued: -he just zoomed by Etho. I just saw Joker swoop by Etho and kill him. Joker: I did not! I did not do that! Tango: That’s the first time we’ve seen snitch. Joker: I’ve been running this whole time! What’re you-?! Astro: Yeah, you ran right by Etho and killed him! Impulse: Wait… Tango- Joker: I DID NOT! Impulse: Tango, Tango. How do you know? How do you know we saw snitch? Tango: Cuz it says… snitch next to his name…? No…? Astro: Okay so Tango’s the other- the other imposter, cuz- Impulse: Ohhhh!!!! Tango: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Impulse: Technicality!! Joker: Well it’s Tango but it’s not me! Tango: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHYYYYYY?!!!!!!!!! Endless: Why’s it- Where does it say snitch? Tango: I mean- No, guys, we should work this out. There’s a chance- *mumbles* I got nothing… Astro: I still think it’s Joker but it’s definitely Tango. Tango: WHY?! STUPID MODS! Impulse: You’re the only one that saw the snitch reveal! Tango: WHYYYYYYYY?! Endless: C’mon, let’s do Joker first, and THEN get Tango.# Joker: NO, it’s NOT me! Endless, why are you pushing to kill me so quickly?! Endless: Because Astro called you out! Astro: But- But Tango called HIMSELF out, so I think he kinda deserves this. Impulse: Tango snitched himself!

...

*after the round* Joker: Goshdarnit, Tango! Tango: That was the dumbest round ever and it’s full of dumb and you’re all dumb. Impulse: Ouch. Joker: Tangooo! Impulse: Yeaaah, the snitch callout was pretty bad. Tango: I assumed that once it was revealed, everyone knew it. Astro: It’s revealed to the IMPOSTERS and- Tango: I GOT THAT. GOT IT. THANKS. GOT IT. Joker: Happy birthday, Tango :)

...

Mrs Tango: I just walked into the room and I watched [Tango] stab Astro. He didn’t even care that I walked into the room. Tango: Nope! Nope! Do NOT let her trick you, okay? Do not let this happen. I’m not saying anything else. Impulse: I’m gonna trust Tango cuz it’s his birthday. Mrs Tango: You should NOT trust Tango. He’s a dirty liar. Skizz: Oh man, she-! Impulse: And this is why I will never play this game with my significant other.

...

*Etho is claiming that Evil and Joker are lovers* Impulse: How do you know that, Etho? Skizz: Yeah, how do you know that? Joker: Yeah, how DO you know that, Etho? Etho: They confessed their love. Joker: I love everybody. I love you, I love Impulse. Dunno about Skizz, but… Skizz: Come ON, Joker!

...

Joker: Impulse, would you like to say what happened with Brody after you guys left together? *pause* Impulse, in a small voice: I know it looks bad…

...

Evil: So we start the game voting Tango out, right? Tango: Wait, what?! Why?! Brody: I’m down. Sounds good. Tango: Listen, I got a finger on my head and I’m not afraid to use it. Endless: You put that finger away, sir!

...

*a meeting is called, interrupting Joker and Endless’s conversation* Joker: What proposition? Endless: You missed out on the proposition. Joker: Endless is propositioning me and I dunno how to feel about it.

...

Joker: I’ll be honest, [Skeld] is my least favourite map. I absolutely hate this map. Tango: What?! Impulse: Skeld?! Joker: Yup. Tango: Joker, you are dumb with a sprinkling of dumb. Skizz: This is my favourite map. I like actually knowing where stuff is. Tango: Skeld is AMAZING. It’s so balanced. Endless: Joker’s favourite map is MIRA, so… Tango: Yeah, he just wants to get lost and press buttons and ride riders. Joker: I just don’t like this map. It’s too easy to find people together. I like it when people are spread out more. Tango: It’s perfect. Joker: No. I hate it. You’re dumb.

...

Skizz: You know what, Joker? I hate your hat. Joker: What? Skizz: I hate your hat. Joker: *scoffs* I don’t care.

...

Skizz: *changes his accessory back to the hair Joker hates the most* Skizz: BOOM. That’s just for Joker! Joker: OH! Oh come on, Skizz! NO!!! Skizz: You crawl inside this hair! Joker: Oh GOD no! Why would I do that?! Skizz: It stinks in here. Come on in, the water’s fine. Joker: Skizz, that’s the WORST thing you’ve ever said!

...

*body is reported* Evil: Why were you screaming, Tango? Tango: I just wanna say that when I see Evil approach me now, I pucker and I- I wait. It’s just- I have this thing now. Every time Evil approaches me, I assume I’m going to die. Joker: Hey Skizz? Can I use your hair to scrub my brain so I don’t have to hear Tango say “pucker” again?

...

Tango: It wasn’t Etho. I feel bad now. Skizz: You shouldn’t. I hate Etho.

...

Astro: *calls a meeting* Astro: I hit my button cuz at least I can now for two seconds use a non-vanilla role and be Button Barry. Tango: I like that the button was actually three feet away when you pressed the button there. Astro: Yup. Didn’t care. Tango: Nice, that’s- Well done. All you had to do was take three steps. Astro: I wanted to use that button. That’s it, that’s all I got. *pause* Astro: Enjoy the 40 seconds we’ve got left.

...

Brody: Astro, what are you doing? Astro: I’m following you. Brody: Why? Astro: I dunno. I’m done with my tasks. Impulse: Are you his… Are you his lover? Are you his LOVER, Astro? Astro: Nah, I did that once. We broke up. Brody: Awww, we did??

...

*after Astro sheriffed Skizz* Evil: But nobody died, so why are you trying to pin something on me? Tango: I’m tryina pin something on somebody. Brody: Ahh, that’s not a good thing. Astro: I killed someone. Evil, laughing: Well yeah, nobody died this round except the guy Astro admitted to killing.

...

Skizz: I hate Joker, Endless, Brody, and Impulse. Oh I’m sorry, I was talking to my chat. Joker: I didn’t vote for you!! Endless: Joke’s on you Skizz, I also hate me.

...

Tango: I’m trying to scan my bitties and you guys are all pressing buttons. Joker: Nobody wants to hear about your bitties. Tango: Well, they’re being scanned. Joker: I don’t care about your bitties, dude.

...

Astro: Did Impulse even say where [the body] was? Impulse: It’s between office and storage. Joker: I thought it was between electrical and office. Impulse: Electrical, storage, office. It’s kinda like in the middle there. Tango: What are you even saying right now? Impulse: Okay, okay. Pull up your maps, make a triangle between electrical, storage and office. The body’s RIGHT in the middle of that triangle. Tango: The triangle’s pointing to your name and *votes* OH! WHOOPS! Impulse: Isosceles triangle. What? Tango: Sorry, I made a triangle but clicked your name by accident. Impulse: Oh my gosh. Joker: I’m clicking your name, Tango. Cuz that’s weird. Impulse: What is happening…?! Evil, laughing: I don’t know, we’re jumping the shark. *everyone has skipped except Joker voted for Tango and Tango voted for Impulse* Impulse: Are you mad that you can’t make a triangle?! *everyone laughs* Joker: Tongo don’t make triangle! Etho: Tongo smash triangle!

#friday night stabby quotes #friday night stabby #impulsesv #tangotek #skizzleman #etho #misterjoker #brodyman #mrstango #theendless #evilnotion #astrozoan

48 notes · View notes

gobblewanker · 2 years

Text

The Mystery and The Isosceles

Ch 8: New Friends and New Skills

Also on AO3

While Stan talked to the man the governor had sent, Mabel took the opportunity to stretch her legs and walk around the docks one last time before they'd set out. She swore she'd seen the tail end of a mermaid from The Mystery's deck, but Dipper brushed it off as just a large fish. Either way, it didn't seem like it intended to come back. So instead she went off to feed the strange ducks bobbing peacefully in the water.

It felt like the lines of ships in all makes and sizes went on for miles, their masts stretching up to touch the sky like a strange forest. A humid breeze ruffled the many furled sails. The sky was orange and the dying sun glinted off the waterfalls. If she strained herself, she could just barely hear the rushing water. It was a constant comfortable background hum to the clangs and shouting.

The Mystery wasn't the largest ship laid up by the dock, but it was definitely amongst the larger. Her—Ships were all girls, Wendy had said—sails were unfurled unlike the others, ready to leave soon. Some of the tears were patched with colourful fabric, pendants hung haphazardly like spiderweb between the masts, and the warm brown hull was sloppily patched in places. The ship was worn, like a well loved pair of boots. It made sense, if Stan had ran it for thirty years. But despite it all it didn't feel rickety. It felt homely. The ship had personality.

Mabel quite liked looking at the other ships as she passed. Some were small and ramshackle, others bigger and more stable looking. There were fishing vessels, boats loaded with stacks of lumber, several suspiciously flagless ships, and a few that actually looked to be legitimate operations—albeit on a not so legitimate (and probably off the books) stopover.

One of those more legitimate looking ships caught her attention as she stopped to stare. It was a little smaller than The Mystery, painted in a deep blue and with the name 'Grandeur' painted in grayish white on the back. The thing that caught her attention, though, was the way the letters glittered in the light like nothing she'd ever seen. Like crushed up diamonds, or a million stars caught in a net and painted onto it.

"Well, howdy there!" A squeaky voice snapped her out of her glitter induced trance. A plump kid with white hair and pale skin called down to her, leaning over the ship's railing. He disappeared from view, only to reappear at the ramp leading down to the docks. Without the railing obscuring him, it was clear how short he was. He looked to be around her age, maybe a year or two younger. "Like what ya see?"

"This thing is awesome!" Mabel squeed, clapping her hands together. "I've never seen something so… So sparkly !"

"Well-" He laughed strangely. "Now I don't like to toot my own horn too much, but that was one of my little touches. I'm glad to meet someone else who appreciates the sparkly things in life."

"Do I ever! It's great! What is this stuff even?"

"Oh, just some little ol minerals we brought back from the North Americas. This is a trading ship, see?" He gestured to the boat before turning back to her. "The name's Gideon Charles Gleeful, at your service. And who might you be m'lady?"

"I'm Mabel. I love your dapper little uniform! Are you, like, a cabin boy or something?"

He laughed like she'd told some kind of hilarious joke, waving dismissively. "Cabin boy? Oh, no no no! I'm a junior officer on this here fine vessel."

"Neat! Me and my brother work one that ship back there, with captain-"

"Stan Pines." She was interrupted. "What are you talking to my niece for Gideon, you little troll?"

Gideon paused, gaping like a fish as Stan walked up to them.

" Niece ?"

"Yeah. What's it to you?" Stan grumbled.

"Oh come on, grunkle Stan, leave him alone!" Mabel pouted at him. "We're just talking."

"I don't trust him."

"Ha!" Gideon finally recovered enough to fire back. "That's rich coming from you, pirate !"

"Yeah, right." Stan took a step forward threateningly, towering over the kid who nonetheless put his hands on his hips and stood his ground. "At least we're upfront about robbing people. What is it your captains and admirals say they're doing? 'Trading' with natives?"

Gideon gasped. "How dare you! My ship is a million times more honest than your lot!"

"A million times zero is still zero, kid. And it ain't your ship." Stan turned to Mabel, put a hand on her shoulder, and nudged her to walk. "Now come on, we're just about ready to leave."

Mabel frowned, but headed back towards the ship with no protest. She threw a glance over her shoulder at Gideon who frowned and grumbled at Stan's retreating back, but instantly flipped to smile at her when she looked.

"I don't know, he seemed kind of nice." Mabel mumbled.

"Trust me, the less you have to deal with him the better. You're too good to that creep."

"Hmm." Mabel hummed vaguely. "Is he really an officer? He's so… Little."

"He's a snottie—midshipman. The lowest officer on the pecking order, and usually some incompetent kid who's parents bought the position for them." Stan answered curtly. "His dad works buying and selling ships."

Feeling somewhat conflicted, Mabel walked in silence trying to decide what to think about the interaction. She wasn't sure she wanted to choose sides, but maybe it didn't matter. If they were leaving with one ship and Gideon with another, she might never see him again anyway. At least not any time soon. She remained in a thoughtful mood all the way until she stepped back onto The Mystery where the last of the supplies for the trip were being loaded. There were sacks of grains and barrels of water, bottles and crates and cages with hens and-

"OH MY GOD A PIG!"

Mabel tore across the deck without warning, skidding to a stop where some of the crew were handling the cargo. The animal looked at her, tilted it's head, and oinked.

"Did you say Mabel!?" She gasped.

"Huh." Stan caught up to her more slowly. "Guess Sprott came through after all. I worried it was too short notice."

"Grunkle Stan can I please keep him? Please please pleeeease?"

"Oh, come on Mabel, livestock is for eatin."

"What! We can't eat him!"

Stan groaned and put his face in his hand. "It's just the natural order. People need ta eat. Sides, have you seen pigs? It's not like he wouldn't eat us if the roles were reversed."

"But the roles are not reveresed! And he's a poor innocent pig!" Mabel protested vehemently.

"Mabel. Sweetie. You had bacon for breakfast yesterday."

"That's different!" She cried. "Come on, please! I'll take really good care of him!"

"Kid…"

Mabel switched gears. "You won't let me hang out with Gideon, so then at least you can let me hang out with this pig! Please?"

Stan stopped, sighed, then laughed lightly.

"Okay, when you put it that way… That pig is probably twice as smart as Gideon, and smells better too."

"I mean-" Wendy paused next to them carrying one of the crates inside. "-in all fairness, you kept Gompers."

"See! Even Wendy is on my side! You got to keep Gompers" Without missing a beat, Mabel turned to Wendy. "Who's Gompers?"

"A goat. We got him with a livestock shipment, but for some reason the guy who sent him did it despite him being a baby. Captain told us to just leave him alone, cause he's a sap." She explained, smiling teasingly at Stan who crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. "He's usually up in the rigging." Wendy nodded to one of the yardarms, where—sure enough—a brown goat stood balanced unphased on the thin pole. She shrugged. "Don't ask me how he got there."

"So? Can I?" Mabel begged. Finally, Stan folded.

"Fine. But he's your problem."

"Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mabel cheered, hugging Stan and then the pig who oinked happily.

Stan called the rest of the crew to their stations, and with that, they finally began to head back out onto the open sea. Pretty much everyone not strictly needed in operating the ship to leave port appeared at the railing, leaning out over the water to wave goodbye to friends and family and shout parting words. Wendy sat on one of the yards high above them, casually dangling her feet and waving to her father and brothers. Soos grandmother smiled at him, but didn't quite seems to be able to hear what he was saying across the distance. Fiddleford just smiled at Tate, and for a second he dropped the stoicness to mouth a silent 'come back alive'.

Soon enough, Mabel was joined by Dipper, leaning on the railing and watching the town with it's strange trees and huge waterfalls shrink against a purple sea and a orange sky.

"I kind of like it here." Mabel said quietly. One by one, the people around left to head back inside the ship. The twins stayed, watching the sun vanish beneath the horizon as the sky turned from orange to pink and purple before finally going dark. They talked, Mabel introduced her new pet—Waddles, cause he waddles—and then they simply stood in silence as stars twinkled to life. A oil lantern that flickered softly on one of the masts was the only light standing against a pitch black sky and dark tar-like water.

"Hey." Mabel said. "I'm really happy you said we'd stay."

"All these people have family to go back to. We just have eachother and Stan. It's not exactly what I imagined when I told you we'd find a better life at sea, but…"

"No, it's not what I imagined. It's better ."

They stood quietly together for some time longer, just breathing in the salty air that was their new normal. Eventually, they too headed back inside the ship and down to their shared cabin. Lamps were dotted throughout the ship, casting a soft warm light onto the worn walls intermittently. They crept into their separate bunks, Mabel with Waddles contently at her feet, and let the swaying ship rock them to sleep.

The next morning, the atmosphere onboard was back to it's loud chaotic usual. Everything was noisy, vibrant and busy. It was alive . They heard footsteps passing the door and people shouting a floor below as they gradually woke to the sounds and the light shining in through their small window. Soos or Wendy—they weren't sure which, but the two of them were the only others who slept in the front of the ship—knocked hard on their cabin door as they passed, letting the kids know it was time to get up.

Breakfast was served in the main room of the ship on long tables with benches suspended under the hammocks. People were seated haphazardly in no particular order while the ones who'd been selected to pull kitchen duty scurried back and forth from the lower parts of the ship with plates and trays and bottles and handing them out. As people got to eating, the atmosphere settled a bit. It was still early morning after all. Dinner was when it got truly rowdy. It was a comfortable constant buzz, though. It was home. It was family .

Stan entered, but nobody particularly paid any mind. He sat down next to them, grabbing a bottle off of the tray from a passing crewmember and looking everything over. Wendy stood in a corner, leaning against a wall and chatting casually to some of the younger crew. Soos talked to one of the makeshift waiters. It was all just relaxed.

"Ah, now this is what it's supposed to be like." Stan leaned against the table, grabbing a piece of bread and taking a swig from the bottle. "You kids sleep well? No throwing up?" He teased.

"Ugh, that was one time !" Dipper complained. "Plus, it was super stormy!"

"I slept great! Waddles is, like, the best cuddle buddy." Mabel chimed in. "Hey, could you pass me another orange?"

Stan reached over to grab one of the fruits and passed it to Mabel. A somewhat exotic fruit like that had been a rare treat when they still lived in port, and she was determined to enjoy as much of it as possible before they got far enough into the journey that only dry goods remained.

"You know, on a fancy ship like the one you stared at back in port you would've probably gotten in a lot of trouble for asking your captain to do something for you." Stan said, watching her happily peel the fruit.

"Ppft, you're bluffing." She said, tossing the peel aside and handing half the orange to Dipper.

Stan's face darkened slightly, not with frustration at them, but resentment towards something distant and passed.

"I wish. Would've made all that time I spent at the bottom rung of the ladder a little less terrible. If you're with the navy, or a trading company, the officers and crew don't eat together. They're too good for that." He rested his jaw on his hand, turning another piece of bread over in his unoccupied fingers. "Matter of fact, your average crewman'd be shot by a guard just for crossing the threshold to where the officers' quarters are. Don't trust rich people and fancy uniforms." He said glumly.

Mabel and Dipper shared a look, before Dipper asked: "Wasn't great grandpa kind of rich?"

Stan laughed. "You'll wanna trust him even less than the rest."

"What about the girl we're going to save?" Mabel asked.

"Pacifica Northwest, the 'governor's' daughter."

"I mean, I'm kind of worried about her. We know the kind of stuff Bill did to Ford, and he was a grown man who could sort of protect himself. This 'Pacifica' girl is our age." Dipper said. "I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it, it's like…" He looked away. "Like if we hadn't gotten Mabel off The Isosceles. She would've been in the same situation."

"Oh, Dipper-" Mabel began, putting her hands on his back.

"Listen to your sister." Stan said gruffly. "I'm not gonna lie to you and pretend like everything is peachy and she's safe and happy, but she is in a much better situation than Mabel would've been in. Bill is morally bankrupt, but for whatever reason, he does keep his deals to the letter, albeit not always the spirit. The 'deal' Bill made here was that if the governor pays up his kid will get to come home unharmed. She's probably scared, but until Bill realizes Preston has no intention of actually upholding his end of the bargain no-one is going to touch her."

"I… Yeah, okay." Dipper nodded. "Actually, hang on—if Pacifica was taken two weeks ago, and that ship we stowed away on was attacked, like, a little over a week ago…"

"Huh. That might explain why Pyronica was leading the assault, if the governor's lackeys said they'd wounded Bill. Damn, wish I'd been there to see it." Stan said.

"Mabel, you didn't see anything, did you?"

"No." She shook her head and chewed her lip. "I didn't see much of the ship at all, I just laid next to a cannon untill some jerk found me and dragged me straight up on deck. Maybe I could've helped her…"

"Nope." Stan said. "Look, you got out of there unscathed, that was honestly a best case scenario. Let's stop moping about things we can't change before we all get down in the dumps completely. Pacifica isn't in danger, and by the time she is, we'll be there."

"I know, I know, it's just… It's just nervous, you know?" Dipper said. "I mean, we've never even seen Bill, but everyone knows the stories, right? I just worry."

"Let's talk about something else-"

"Yeah!" Mabel agreed, standing up on the bench and slamming her hands on the table. "We don't even know what he looks like! What if when the fighting starts we don't realize it's him!"

Stan groaned in protest, rolling his eyes.

"Gold teeth like a shark, soulless gold eye, over the top yellow clothes and light brown hair. You'll know him when you see him."

"Pretty sure it's dark brown." Someone piqued up. Stan threw them a death glare.

"Don’t be pedantic. And it doesn't matter either way, you're not going to be the ones fighting him."

"But-"

" No ." Stan said firmly, standing up. Apparently sensing his attempts to reassure them had failed, he instead switched tactic to distracting them. "We're done talking about this. You know what? Just for being so incessant, you're going to be spending the day doing hard work on deck. Come on."

The kids protested and fussed, but in the end trailed after Stan up on deck without much of a fight. He called Soos and Wendy to follow them as they passed, and they fell in line behind as well.

In the end, they found that they really hadn't needed to protest, because the 'hard work' Stan had threatened turned out to be him spending the rest of the day teaching them to steer the ship. At first they just watched, but eventually he handed the reins over completely (after a quick look at the map to confirm there were no reefs or underwater rocks for them to run aground on). The kids learned fast, picking up where Stan had left and giving orders that Soos and Wendy indulged them in following. There was no more talk of Bill, just bickering over courses, and frantic questions, and debate on which sibling looked better in Stan's hat. Mabel took to the helm far more naturally, but Dipper was the only one who could figure out the map. With their combined efforts though, there was hardly more than an hours deviation.

"Now, all those fancy admirals and generals will tell ya you need dozens of crew to get one of these puppies up and running, but that's a bunch of nonsense they spout to justify press-ganging even more honest layabouts. When you know what you're doing, three people are enough." Stan told them as he watched from the sidelines.

"Sure, so long as the sails are already down, and you don't need food, or navigation, or swabbing, and the anchor isn't dropped, or-" Wendy said.

"Ye of little faith." Stan interrupted. "Just look at them! They were born for this!"

The twins turned to look at them as they held the wheel between them, grinning broadly with excitement. They were actually doing it. They were sailing the ship. Stan felt something bubble in his chest, the giddy feeling at an achievement that wasn't even his own rose up his throat. He laughed fondly, and smiled back at them.

"I'm proud of ya."

#gravity falls #pirate au #my fics #breather chapter this time #might need that before next

34 notes · View notes

mochiiwrites · 3 years

Text

☀️✨Summer Troupe Headcanons✨☀️

Some more uncensored swearing!

Also these might not be too good (especially Kumon’s)

☀🧡Tenma Sumeragi!🧡☀

Names his bonsai and regularly has conversations with them!

Remembers the weirdest details about places! (Despite this, he still gets very lost.)

“Ahh, where was that café again?”

“The one with the 4 trees behind it?”

“...what?”

Keeps all the fanart he’s been given during fan meetings!

Practices his autograph regularly! (Yuki teases that it’s because he doesn’t remember his name.)

Has seen cosplays of his characters and fancams and he’s like... “huh, alright then-” (He likes them a lot but he’s a tsuuuuun!)

Whatever cheesy line he’s spouted in his recent works, various Mankai members will make fun of him for it!

“yOu’Re ThE oNly OnE i WaAnt!”

“IT WAS IN THE SCRIPT I WOULD’VE IMPROVISED BUT THEY WOULDN’T LET ME!”

☀💗Yuki Rurikawa!💗☀

Makes accessories for everyone's plushies! (Not just Pen-Pen!)

His older sisters give him old clothes and he'll upgrade them!

The only one who dares critique Banri’s fashion sense. (Banri never listens since he’s too arrogant to do that.)

Has never pricked his finger when sewing, even when he was a beginner. He’s just that good.

Whenever he makes skirts, he always adds pockets!

“Here you go, Izumi.”

“Oh wow, that was fast! Thanks for the skirt! I-”

“...What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It has pockets! You’re my saviour, Yuki!”

“H-hey! Don’t go spouting that weird crap!”

Uses the nearest person as a mannequin sometimes! (Most of the time it’s Tenma ‘cause...roommates.)

☀💙Muku Sakisaka💙☀

Used to make self insert ocs! (Stopped because he thought the canon characters wouldn’t like them, which is impossible. Who could dislike Muku or anything he creates?)

One time he got a papercut, and cried because he got a small bit of blood on a corner of a manga page, poor baby! How dare that page hurt him >:(

Has thought of Mankai adaptations of certain mangas!

Likes painting his nails, but when he does he unintentionally picks at them, so he doesn’t paint them often!

Likes biting into ice cream but also can’t because sensitive teeth ;-;

Reviews manga with Tsuzuru, (and sometimes they accidentally debate)

“I thought that arc was kinda weird.”

“What? But without that arc we wouldn’t be able to see that part of their character!”

“Well, yeah. But they could have executed it differently.”

“If they had done it any different way, it would have made the scene between the hero and the antagonist on page 74 of Volume 3 so much more-”

“Muku, don’t you need to breathe? Relax.”

☀💚Kazunari Miyoshi💚☀

Y’know those aesthetic journals? Kazunari’s done those before! Now, he just doesn’t really have the time.

Mans cannot pick an aesthetic. He has all of them somehow, but cannot commit. He loves all of them.

Paints his nails with Muku, he tries to keep them as clean as possible but most of the time he gets paint on them;-;

Referred to everyone as ____ best friend at some point!

“So, baby best friend and I were-”

“Who’s baby best friend?”

“Oh, that’s Saku-Saku! He’s pure and he’s the shortest, y’know, like a baby!”

Used to subtly slip memes into the website until Sakyo found them and temporarily banned him from editing it!

Randomly walks into Itaru’s streams and plugs himself!

“Man, that boss fight was kind of a bitch. At least I got some good loo-”

“FOLLOW KAZ-PIKO ON THE BLAM!”

“Pfft-ahaha! Hey!”

“And Blitz Prime to Taruchi!”

☀️💛Misumi Ikaruga💛☀️

Isosceles triangles are his favourites! (I can’t explain why he just gives off isosceles vibes)

Really good at math including geomety! Anything else and he just says the answer is three!

Has Sankaku-kuns with the Summer Troupe's outifts!

Replaces vowels with triangles when he writes!

"Izumi! Here you go~!"

"Oh! Thank you!"

*Note says "🔼 l🔽v▶ y🔽🔽!"

"...I have no idea what this says."

"Ehhh~? It's says I love you!"

Likes playing Zelda games with Itaru! because of the Tri-force!

“Aaaaahhhh~!!”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Quadruple Golden Triangle!!”

“Oh, the triforce. Wait, wouldn’t it be a triple triangle?”

“No! There’s a triangle in the middle too!”

Tells cats about the company to help with promotion! (Whether or not it actually helps is debatable!)

☀️💜Kumon Hyodo💜☀️

Doesn’t like sweets too much but will tolerate Sour Patch Kids! (Especially the blue and green ones!)

Pretty good at doodling and drew Muku’s self insert ocs!

Itaru played Wii sports with him once, Itaru has now banned him from Wii sports.

“How are you so good at this?”

“I dunno, I played baseball?”

“Damn it, now I have to actually try!”

“So, you weren’t?”

“I have to exercise in this game, of course I didn’t try! And I’m sure as hell not going to lose!”

*wins anyway*

“...In the nicest way, I hate you.”

Occasionally plays Genshin with Itaru and Banri, because he heard Fischl speak once! Now, he’s a Fischl main.

“I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung-”

“Hm? ‘Sup Hyo-bro?”

“Who is that?!”

“Oh, that’s Fischl. She’s pretty good, but I haven’t really leveled her up.”

“What game is that?”

“...Genshin Impact. Why?”

“I want her!!”

He believes in red Gatorade supremacy!

Kicked Banri’s...y’know...once. It was an accident, he swears. (Banri tries to remember to watch his mouth around Kumon now. Emphasis on tries.)

Come back here, Hyodo! Little bitch!”

“DON’T TALK TO NII-CHAN THAT WAY!”

“Hngk-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“aaaAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

#a3!#a3!fanfic #mochiifics!#headcanons #a3! headcanons #summer troupe #natsugumi #natsugumi headcanons #summer troupe headcanons #tenma sumeragi #yuki rurikawa #muku sakisaka #kazunari miyoshi #misumi ikaruga #kumon hyodo

56 notes · View notes