#what do i tag this for it to show up for peope?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunny44 · 3 months

Text

The exes club

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex!reader, ex wags x fem!reader

Warnings: ex wags.

Summary: Where all the ex wags are best friends.

Yourusername instagram post

Liked by @maxverstappen, @isahernáez, @charlottesiine, @luisinhaoliveira, @elenaberri, @katerinaberezhna and other 174829

Yourusername the exes club is reunited again

Ps: for sure the best part of ours relationship

Tagged: @isahernáez, @charlottesiine, @luisinhaoliveira, @elenaberri, @katerinaberezhna

Isahernáez I miss this so much

Yourusername and I missed you

Luisinhaoliveira love you babes

Yourusername love you more girlfriend

Maxverstappen I can see you’re having fun

Liked by Yourusername

Love4wags I love that the best wags are bestfriends

Mv33fan I miss y/n and Max together

User81 I hate the fact that y/n explicitly say that she doesn’t like the current wag

F1lovelywags

Model Y/n Y/L/N talking about the comments of her not liking the new wags.

Y/n was Max Verstappen's girlfriend until a few months ago when they decided to end their relationship.

She and the other ex-WAGs were often seen together in the paddock during race weekends, emphasizing that they were and still are best friends.

Fans are now commenting on her latest post, suggesting that she dislikes the new WAGs just because she shared that she and the other exes were out having fun.

Yourusername instagram stories

“It’s race weekend”

I was invited to attend the weekend in Monza.

It had been a while since I attended any races; it lost its appeal after Max and I broke up. We decided it was for the best, as my modeling career consumed all my time, just like his racing career did to him.

We no longer had time for each other, and it was driving us apart. So, the best decision for both of us was to take a break, which ultimately led to the end.

But here I was again, at a race, hoping everything would go well without any stress.

"Excuse me, Miss Y/L/N." I turned around to see someone from SKY Sports. "Could you give a brief interview?"

"Of course," I agreed, controlling to not roll my eyes as giving interviews was the last thing I wanted to do today.

"We saw your statement in your latest YouTube video regarding the comments on your posts. Do you have anything to declare?"

"As I said in the video, I'm not obligated to like anyone, even if that's what fans think. I don't personally know any of the girls, so the comments are unfounded, defamatory, and malicious," I said, looking into the camera. "I've always been friends with the other girls, and our friendship might have started here due to our ex-boyfriends working in the same field. But our friendship goes beyond that, so the fact that these so-called fans are bothered by something so trivial truly amazes me. Once again, I have nothing against anyone, so I ask you to stop trying to portray me as the villain just because you don't like me."

"Very well, thank you Y/n, for your words," I agreed and left.

I continued walking, stopped for a coffee, and on my way back, Daniel waved at me.

"Y/n, long time no see."

"Hi, Dani," I hugged him. "How are you?"

"Good, and you?"

"Good too, just the usual dramas."

"I saw; people don't have much sense.”

"Don't even talk about it. I don't know where people get this rivalry. It's not like I said anything about them in the post."

"Don't worry about it. Fans are just jealous because all of you dated who they wanted. The girls are getting hate now for dating them."

"Yeah, tell me about it," I sighed. "It's terrible for all of us. Max and I aren't even dating anymore, and people still hassle me."

"I can imagine. Heidi sometimes shows me some comments, and they're pretty nasty."

"Well, I need to go, but good luck in the race," I waved. Passing in front of the Red Bull garage, I was pulled inside, and when I saw, I was in Max's driver's room. "What the hell is this?"

"I wanted to see you," he said simply.

"And did you need to pull me in like you were kidnapping me?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you and I wanted as few people as possible to see."

"Why? Are you ashamed?"

"Of course not." He stared at me. "How are you?"

"Look, you didn't pull me in here to ask how I am, and I know it was your idea to invite me, even though you tried really hard to make it seem like it wasn't," I said, and he looked at the floor. "So tell me, why so much effort to bring me here?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you."

"You could have called me or sent a message."

"I know, but I needed to say this in person," I agreed and sat on his bed.

"All right, I'm listening."

"I wanted to apologize for my fans. I heard about what happened with your last post, and I didn’t wanted you to go through all this because of me."

"It's not your fault."

"Are you sure? The fans are mine."

"It doesn't matter; they're not your real fans if they're such nasty people," he agreed. "It's okay."

Max sighed, briefly averting his gaze before fixing it back on mine.

"Y/n, I need to be honest about the other reason I brought you here," I nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I still love you, more than I can admit. Seeing you dealing with all this pressure and drama made me realize that, even with everything that happened between us, I can't just let you go. Not again."

My heart raced, and a smile formed on my face.

"Max, I feel the same way. I think, deep down, we never stopped loving each other. Maybe it's time to give what we had a second chance."

He smiled back, sincerity reflected in his eyes.

"Y/n, I just want to do this the right way, without rushing, and make sure we're both ready." I nodded, feeling a profound sense of relief.

"I'm willing to give it a try, Max. After all, what do we have to lose?"

And in the end, I guess I put an end to the exes club.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram stories

“Ops, I guess the exes club is over for me”

598 notes · View notes

justmystyles · 9 months

Note

hi so i have a request!! i’m going thru a bit of a rough time lately, and i was wondering if you could do a fic where reader is scared she’s going to relapse and harry comes home and helps her emotionally a lil bit? thank you so much, i’m so so so so sorry if this is too much

Road to Recovery

read my other work here!

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

*i say it's a plus size reader, but it is not something that i focus on explicitly in my fics, because your size should not define you. it will only come up if it comes into the story organically.*

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of eating disorders and bullying.

summary: after reading some negative comments about yourself, you nearly spiral back into old habits. you try to keep it from Harry, but he finds out and confronts you about it.

a/n: thank yo so much for reaching out, my friend. i am so sorry that you're going through a rough patch right now. i'm thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. i am here for anything you may need, and i hope that this fic helps bring you come comfort. you didn't specify what kind of relapse, so i took some liberties.

tags: @abby8694 @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

Stepping out of the car now ;)

As soon as you see the text from Harry, you grab the remote and switch on E!, waiting for him to come up on screen.

It was the night of the Grammy awards, and Harry was about to walk the red carpet. The two of you had been seeing each other for a few months, but because of Harry’s desire to keep his personal life to himself, and your discomfort being in the spotlight, you both agreed that you would watch from the hotel, and he would come straight back to you after the show so the two of you could have your own private after-party.

Harry had stopped for a brief interview, you were pretty sure it was only because he knew you were watching, before continuing down the carpet and heading inside. You watched and listened as the interviewer gushed to him about his album, and wished him luck on his nominations. They then cut to the panelist who were raving about the suit he had worn, that you had helped him select.

Once they had moved on, you pulled out your phone and headed to social media to see what the fans were saying. It was great that the talking heads liked it, but you knew that the opinions of his fans were the most important. You scrolled through comments full of praise, loving the suit, the cut, his hair, and just overall thirsting for your boyfriend. Even though you weren’t public with your relationship, it still felt good to know that you had something, or rather someone, that so many other people wanted.

Then, another tweet caught your eye.

See, they’re obviously not together. She would be there.

Even though Harry didn’t speak openly about your relationship, there had been plenty of paparazzi and fan pictures of the two of you out and about, causing the inevitable speculation. You knew for your own sanity you should just move on, but you couldn’t help but click on it, and read some of the replies.

She probably couldn’t find a dress to fit her fat ass.

I told you guys they were just friends. He can do so much better than her!

Before long, you could feel the hot wet sensation of tears streaming down your cheeks. This was why you shouldn’t have looked. While most of Harry’s fans were good people, and practiced what he preached by treating people with kindness, there was a faction that were just plain mean. Maybe it was jealousy that they couldn’t be in your position, maybe it was their own issues and insecurities, maybe it was all of the above. Whatever it was, it hurt. Especially because of your past.

Growing up was a tough time for you, you were the biggest girl in your class, and your peers wouldn’t let you forget it. During the summer break going into your senior year, you decided you wanted to go out of high school with a bang, so you began your weight loss journey. It started out perfectly fine, you joined a gym and watched what you ate, cutting out fast food, and halving your typical portions of sweets.

Things were going well, and you lost quite a bit of weight in the first few months. When you returned to school in the fall, you received compliments from students and teachers alike, telling you how good you looked. The compliments made you feel really good, and encouraged you on your journey.

And then you hit your plateau.

It’s a common occurrence when someone starts changing their activity and eating habits. The weight comes off easily at first, your body is adjusting to major changes. The increased activity changes your metabolism and calories burn off easier. However, as your body acclimates to your new lifestyle, it slows down the changes. When you noticed the numbers on the scale moving less, if at all, and the compliments dying down, you wanted so badly to get back to that place. You resorted to drastic, and unhealthy changes.

You began by doubling up on your workouts, going to the gym for an hour before school, and then another hour after. Then, you cut back even further on your food; it started by skipping breakfast, telling your parents you would just grab something on the way to school; and then the other meals quickly followed.

You would tell your parents that you were still full from the lunch that you didn’t eat, or that you had gone out to eat with friends after school, but they started to catch on quickly. They began monitoring you and making sure you were eating, and that’s when the binging and purging began. Sure, they could sit there and make sure you cleaned your plate, but they couldn’t follow you around all the time to make sure you kept the food down.

You were able to keep that up for a few weeks, but eventually they caught on, and after an emotional confrontation you agreed to seek treatment. They didn’t want you to miss out on your senior year, so they found you an outpatient facility that was able to work around your schedule. You got set up with a healthy eating plan, which caused a lot of the weight that you had lost to come back. But with the help of some really great doctors, you learned to be okay with that. Okay with you.

Then you started dating one of the biggest stars in the world.

You had told Harry about your past pretty early on into your relationship. He was even more supportive and sweet about it than you expected him to be, and that’s saying a lot. He would make sure you were eating, but not baby you about it. When he would go for a run or workout, he would invite you along, supporting your decision whether or not you joined him. And when you had the conversation about keeping your relationship private, he made sure you understood that it had nothing to do with you, and he was so happy and proud to have you as his girlfriend.

But pictures started getting out, and the internet started speculating and talking about you. Harry and his team were the first to see it, and he knew what kind of damage this could do to you. When he sat you down to talk to you about what was going on, he couldn’t help but break down into tears, blaming himself for everything that they were saying. You comforted him and assured him that it wasn’t his fault. That you had dealt with bullies your whole life, and there wasn’t much damage a few faceless, nameless avatars on a screen could do to you. You had always been really good at pretending to be stronger than you were.

Without thinking, you moved to the phone that was on the end table and called down to the kitchen, ordering an obscene amount of food. None of it healthy. You cried as you waited for it to be delivered, calming down enough to answer the door and accept the food. The bellboy laid everything out on one of the tables for you before accepting your tip and going on his way.

You looked at everything laid out in front of you, cheeseburgers, pizza, french fries, cakes, ice creams, you ordered it all. Sure, you would indulge from time to time, but always responsibly. You hadn’t gorged yourself like this for years.

Your mind was racing, it was like a scene in a movie, there was a devil on one shoulder telling you to just go for it. If all these people were going to comment on you, you might as well give them something to comment about. On the other shoulder, an angel reminding you that you’d been doing so well for so long. That those people on the internet didn’t matter. What you think matters, what Harry thinks matters.

You collapse into a nearby chair, breaking out into sobs. Angry with yourself for folding so easily after being so strong for so long. The angel wins, and you don’t eat any of it. Instead, you decide to clear it all out and hide the evidence before Harry gets back. You don’t like keeping things from him, but you didn’t do it, so he would just get upset and worried over nothing.

*****

A few days later, you and Harry are relaxing in his London home when he excuses himself to take a call from Jeff. When he returned, he had a worried look on his face.

“Everything okay?” You asked.

He took a seat beside you, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure.” He looked at you, his expression serious. “I need to ask you something, and I want an honest answer. You’re not in trouble. I just want to know.”

You furrowed your brow. “Okay.”

“The night of the Grammys, did you order a bunch of room service?”

“Oh,” your voice is quiet as you slouch down. “I uh… yeah, I might have ordered a couple of things.”

“Y/N, Jeff saw the itemized bill. It wasn’t just a couple of things.” He grabbed your hands. “I’m not mad, baby but if something’s going on I want to know so I can help you.”

You let out a shuttered breath before your tears began to fall. Harry immediately wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, letting you cry. He knew this was an important conversation, so he was willing to take as much time as you needed.

Eventually, you had calmed yourself enough to speak. You pulled back, looking down at your hands, which were sitting in your lap. “I didn’t eat it, I had a moment of weakness and almost relapsed, but I couldn’t go through with it.” Your gaze flicked up to Harry’s quickly, and you could see the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Baby, you should have called me. You know I would have been back there in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would have,” you said. “But you were busy, I didn’t want to bother you.”

A pained look flashed in his eyes. “You’re never a bother, you come before anything else. Especially if you’re hurting that much.” He placed his index finger under your chin, lifting your gaze to meet his. “Can I ask what triggered you?”

“I was looking through social media, I wanted to see what everyone was saying about your outfit, and I may have stumbled across a couple of comments about me that weren’t very nice.”

“Oh Y/N,” Harry pulled you close once again, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not.” You say sternly as you pull back. “And that’s why I didn’t tell you. Because I knew you’d blame yourself.” You place one hand on his cheek. “You don’t have any control over other people. And yes, they talk about me because I’m with you, but I’d rather have people talking about me and have you then have nobody talking about me, but also not have you.”

“I understand.” Harry says with a nod. “But if we’re going to work, you can’t keep stuff like this from me. I want to be there for you for everything good and bad. I love you so much Y/N, I would do anything for you.”

“I know.”

“Then let me in, tell me when this stuff is going through your mind and let me be there to help you however I can.” You nod quietly. “Promise?” You nod again. “Words baby, I need your words.”

“I promise.”

He smiled softly and pulled you in for a lingering kiss. “Good. Now what do you want to do? Do you want to talk to someone?”

You stop for a minute, knowing that as hard as you’d been pushing them away, those feelings were still inside of you waiting to bubble up to the surface. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“Okay, then we’re going to find you someone.” He said with determination in his voice. “And I want to talk to them too.” You look at him curiously. “I’m not going to sit in with you all the time, but I would like to sit in for a session or two, just so I can learn how to best support you.”

“Harry… that’s –”

“Is it okay?” He asks cautiously. “I don’t have to if it would make you uncomfortable.”

You silence him by crashing your lips against his. You are so overwhelmed by his love for you, he wants to do whatever he can to help you, you’re his priority. You know that you will likely be fighting this battle for the rest of your life, but it makes it so much more bearable to know that you’re not fighting it alone.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles headcanon #harry styles angst #harry styles comfrot #harry's house #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry edward styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

289 notes · View notes

writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

Note

If I want to build up a platform from tumblr would it be okay to reblog and post whatever I feel is meaningful and good to spread and I enjoy seeing or would it need to be just writer/writing stuff? How would i go about doing it? Wouldn't people steal any excerpts I write on here to gauge interest? Should I even write the thing if no one is interested? Sorry this ask de-railed a lot from its original query but hope you'll still answer all of them. Have a delightful day!

Concerns About Building a Platform on Tumblr

There are lots of great questions here, so I'll try to tackle them all. ♥

If I want to build up a platform from tumblr would it be okay to reblog and post whatever I feel is meaningful and good to spread and I enjoy seeing or would it need to be just writer/writing stuff?

If you want to build up a writer/author platform on tumblr, then you will want the bulk of your posts to be related to writing and writing-related subjects. Writing-related subjects would be things like books and bookish things, coffee and tea, stationery--anything that feels writing adjacent to you. However, you can definitely mix things up a bit by sharing inspiring images, things that make you happy, fandom stuff, etc. Just make sure these posts don't drown out the writing-related ones.

How would i go about doing it?

Start by putting a little thought into the platform you want to create. If you know what you want to write--what genre, what type of stories, etc.--you can look there for theme inspiration. For example, if you write warm and fuzzy romance, you'll probably want a blog theme and title that reflect that. Something like "Hearts, Bubbles, and Words" for example. Once you have your blog setup, start following other writing-related blogs, bookish blogs, blogs with pretty pictures or things that make you happy--any blog that is likely to post things you might want to share. Then, you just start re-blogging the content you want to share, and posting the content you want to create. Some things to help build followers:

-- follow blogs that look interesting to you -- like posts that show up in your feed -- re-blog and add your thoughts on posts that merit discussion -- reply to posts when you have something to add -- send questions and comments off Anon -- show support when people share their own writing -- write posts about blogs you enjoy and tag them -- post your own writing and use proper tags

Wouldn't people steal any excerpts I write on here to gauge interest?

Stealing isn't near as common as you would expect it to be, but it can happen, and for that reason it's best not to share big excerpts (or a lot of small ones) of anything you plan on publishing. In fact, it's best to keep WIP details as mum as possible. You can share a little, but don't go overboard. Instead, write things specifically to share on the blog. Might someone steal it and try to pass it off as their own? Maybe, but it's unlikely, and if they do there's little chance they'll gain anything from it. And if you want to drum up interest in your WIP, try posting things like mood boards, inspiration photos, short essays about your writing process, that sort of thing.

Should I even write the thing if no one is interested?

Yes. The point of starting a writing blog to build up a platform isn't to gain 30k followers overnight and get thousands of reblogs.

Gaining a following takes time and effort, and the reality is you could have 30,000 followers on tumblr and that doesn't mean you'll get thousands of notes on your posts. Social media experts consider a good follower to engagement ratio (on any platform) to be between 1% and 5%. So, if you have 100 followers on tumblr, if you're getting a few notes on each post, you're doing great. And for someone with 30,000 followers, 300 notes per post would be good engagement.

And I think you also have to have realistic expectations, too. If you need a ton of engagement to feel like people are interested, you might be disappointed. Because another reality of social media is that some people don't engage--meaning they don't like, comment, or reblog--but that doesn't mean they're not reading and enjoying your posts.

Here are some past posts you might find helpful!

Guide: Getting Your Writing Noticed on Tumblr Guide: Author Platforms-What, Why, and How? Guide: How to Promote Yourself as a Writer/Author via Social Media Gaining Reader Interest (After Sharing Writing Online) 8 Ways to Improve Your Writing Blog

Good luck with your writing blog! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Visit my FAQ

Find answers fast on my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

#writeblr #writing tips #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing help #writing advice #wqaadvice

43 notes · View notes

omegasmileyface · 2 years

Note

What’s :3 architecture like?

OK SO theyre unified more by ideals than physical similarities, which means theyre pretty diverse in lots of aspect, which shows up in their architecture. at its core, its just "ghost architecture":

floating shit (if you try to make areas in the nonsensical infinite realms apply to physics, the realms will fight back)

shared spaces (if you want to be alone youll live outside of a gathering or live in your lair. non-lair spaces are almost never private)

(as an extension of that last one i want to point out that many ghosts who live in cities will spend like half of their time OUTSIDE of it and just kinda wandering about bc like. its the infinite afterlife. they dont need to sleep. they do whatever they want. this is Certainly true among the youthful and creative and curious :3 people)

few doors - this is kinda mortifiedverse lore, but doors are pretty much restricted to lair entrances - and solid walls - theres very little weather. windows are empty, columns are frequent, etc.

death themes. there's more of it among the Glom Psu than the others but i think its so fucking funny how in canon everybody has skulls and bones and bats and shit all over everything so im keeping it

stuff that super does not go together. depending on how devoted a certain ghost is to a theme it could be from a typical suburban tudor house with a single pool of lava to an absolutely nonsensical collage of various home-and-non-home architecture

each :3 cultural group has trends that are common among them and of course they mix into the blend of the area but ill separate them here for the sake of background

uwu:

glassy windows. i know it contradicts what i swaid earlier but they have both empty and glassy windows. think about it. thats free sunlight. for laying in. this city DOES have sunlight btw even though they dont have a sun

tall structures with platforms on the inside and outside. like yknow those cat athletic structures. the planks on the walls that kind of thing. catwalks! those. i would kill for that.

treeeeees. with bark.

lairs often have their doors hidden away in hard-to-access crooks

complex tunnel-like system closer to the ground

big public hearths with short, wide brick walls around them. also for laying on.

shallow pools

glom psu:

bright colors!!! the ghost zone in general is known for bright colors but these guys have RAINBOWS. and BLACK AND PINK. and PATTERNS. outside every fucking building

a lot of like...... big victorian houses except with walls that are more open

a few ppl have "intradimensional" lairs that manifest as like normal houses with normal, barely non-euclidean doors.

wings are very common, on buildings and stuff

skate parks :) they have roads designed for skating in addition to floating, with soft curves and rails and shit

suburban-looking parks with brightly-colored, spiky playgrounds and elaborate gazebos

actually yeah just keep putting spikes on things. they dont particularly hurt though its fine. theyre like. gummy.

cafes! these guys love eating but mostly sweets.

i guess cafes isnt architecture huh. well. its mostly just floating, column-heavy, more open victorian houses. just in general these guys love that

eebydeeby:

the architecture itself is pretty varied , with neighborhoods mostly sticking to general aesthetics. look up any -core tag on tumblr and theres a place with architecture like that. you know every 2013 "what if everybody on tumblr lived/worked/went to school together" fandom/aesthetic separation? yeah. thats real when you die

more closed off areas (both lairs and non-lairs). tumblrinas value their privacy. that being said it frequently results in big houses shared between 5-6 individuals. these shared-house groups have a term for themselves loaned from Uwu: öwôw ówuv

curving, vertically-varied walking paths. tumblrinas dont float all that much

There Is A Tumblr University.

every block or so youll find a message board with paper and pens and pins and stuff available where people """""post""""" messages and respond to others and such. tumblrinas have a potent historical tradition of recorded, written, public gradual conversation

extremely varied building purposes. there are libraries. there are restaurants. there are movie theaters. there are karaoke houses. there are sex dungeons. (ghosts have sex if they want to.) there are buildings purely for thinking. theres a building where someone puts a single doodle of a cat in the center of the floor once a day. theres everything.

the lack of consistency in architecture shows how varied and active the eebydeeby are. they thrive on differing perspectives

#i should make an :3 tag but idk how much tumblr likes symbols so uhhhh.#uwughosts #roxys worldbuilding

3 notes · View notes

sleepy-moron · 1 year

Text

I posted 335 times in 2022

That's 298 more posts than 2021!

202 posts created (60%)

133 posts reblogged (40%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sleepy-moron

@aemiron-main

@hawkinsschoolcounselor

@blowingoffsteam2

I tagged 263 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#byler tumblr - 175 posts

#byler - 131 posts

#stranger things 4 - 120 posts

#stranger things - 114 posts

#gay mike wheeler - 56 posts

#mike wheeler is gay - 50 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 20 posts

#st4 spoilers - 20 posts

#mike wheeler i know what you are - 15 posts

#byler season 4 - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#and he’s repeatedly reminded of this by adults which just makes a kid with shit self esteem who feels like they can’t open up emotionally

My Top Posts in 2022:

Byler is endgame starter kit:

So since this tag has blown up since volume one dropped and a bunch of people are new to the madness or are trying to convince other people that this is the direction the show will go in I thought it might be nice to have a post that works as a jumping off point for getting immersed in our little corner of Tumblr

This edit is basically a 50 second thesis on Mike's behavior in volume one and everyone should watch it at least once....@sollody did an incredible job here and I think this is an excellent starting off point for understanding why people believe byler is endgame

2. @beepboop358 has the byler proof master slides available as a Google slides presentation on their account, it's probably one of the most comprehensive outlines of a lot of the really big byler proofs and is absolutely worth a read if you haven't checked it out before

3. Just read everything on the pinned posts for @kaypeace21 and @hawkinsschoolcounselor ..... seriously though, they both post some excellent analysis and their work gets discussed a lot here so it's a good place to read more in depth stuff about byler

By @queerxqueen.... Excellent breakdown of why byler absolutely tracks from a narrative perspective and why m*leven endgame would be character regression for both Mike and El.... another account where basically all of the analysis posts are great and absolutely worth checking out

5. @bluemeetyellow is a fantastic blog to go through if you aren't super fond of reading long blocks of text.....super unique style of pointing out parallels and connections between different scenes and dialogue, absolutely worth a follow

6. @cmollyo does some really helpful compilation posts and reblogs a bunch of excellent content on top of some very cool original content

See the full post

245 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

Friendly reminder that 8flix isn't a massive corporation, it's literally just the one dude maintaining the archive as an educational resource. So him engaging with a fanbase that has shown immense interest in his archive is a really good way to keep up the donations that fund it and to expose more people to the existence of this kind of resource. I am pretty firmly of the opinion that the tweets aren't trying to pull a fast one on you.

So thanks Nick, it's very cool of you to take an interest in this little corner of the fanbase!

265 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

I think one of the biggest signs that people do not understand why byler is as popular as it is is when they say "Will deserves a better boyfriend thought :/" ..... Like If I were to say "El deserves better than Mike......I think she should get with Lucas" the angry m*leven shippers would literally eat me alive because those two ships aren't even remotely close to being the same thing.

Do they think we literally just ship Mike and Will because they're both dudes?? Why did I add a question mark to that when I know that is exactly what people think. Y'know because despite not all straight relationships being basically the same thing because different characters have different relationships and dynamics with other characters.....any ship that is gay is basically interchangeable and the people involved don't matter at all -_-

Mike and Will are two characters with a lot of history and their friendship is a major motivating factor for both of them throughout the whole show. They're two insecure kids that trust each other enough to let their walls down, something which we routinely see them try to avoid with other people.... People ship Mike and Will because they're Mike and Will, and implying that replacing one half of the relationship with a minor character that serves basically no other role in the story should be viewed as an improvement is infuriating.

367 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

Season 3 on the surface: Mike being so in love with El that he acts like an asshole to everyone else and this is never really resolved.

Season 3 cinematography and subtext: Just the creators banging two pans together and yelling "Mike's gay and in love with Will" while progressively getting louder and louder as the season goes on.

398 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Think it’s really interesting how they took the time to both establish that Vickie is not straight and suggest she reciprocates Robin’s feelings while also making sure the audience knows she has a boyfriend and literally have Steve comment about how it doesn’t make sense.

The show literally goes out of it’s way to have the actual characters pick up on hints that Vickie is not straight and is constantly using film techniques to make sure we as an audience understand that. The show emphasizes that someone dating the opposite sex does not make them straight, and has multiple shots with Vickie and Robin parallel byler scenes this season…..

They literally spelled it out for us I don’t know what else to say

1,714 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

1 note · View note

kaylorrehabcenter · 3 years

Text

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song.

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five.

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it.

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel.

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated.

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn.

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade.

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be.

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute.

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight.

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

#long post //#fearless the album #gaylor #what do i tag this for it to show up for peope??#gay rating

69 notes · View notes

tinysylveon · 3 years

Text

s'cuse me while i complain about the rwby fandom for a bit, and why i p much have refused to fully engage in it since the near beginning and even now. i'm putting this in a read more bc i actually have sanity to put mountain long paragraphs of text under read mores. :^)

those shippers in the rwby fandom really irritate me, because they seem to only pay attention to the shipping and get really angry at the writers for not making their ship "canon" or "interact in a meaningful way". sometimes i'm glad meme-based content creators keep their personal opinions to themselves, because i saw someone say they're "deeply disappointed in the current volume for not providing whiterose content", and honestly being so. and don't even get me STARTED on those fairgame shippers. way to come out as transphobic, basically. harassing a damn trans person like that, saying its all their fault your ship never got water. d e e p s i g h

no, the crwby is not, nor ever entitled to, giving you your ship. you know what actually matters in rwby? the plot. the characters themselves. if you enjoy ships? epic. just don't... harass people. don't go overboard. don't let that ship lead you to despise the show, the creators, or anyone relating to it.

however much i despise only paying attention to the ships, i still do think it's childish and stupid to put your ship hate in the ship tag you're hating. i know you want attention, but there are far healthier ways to do that than purposefully pissing people off by posting "yang/blake is fucking stupid and so are the shippers" or something in the designated tag. yike!!!

shipping is fun, but it's not everything. please exercise common sense, self control, and maturity. i know it's hard, but make an attempt.

sure, you can say it's "horribly/badly written" all damn day, but imo, i still think the writing is ok, because i could see foreshadowing even in the very first volume. now, i've tried my best to find some semblance (lol pun) of information that monty planned a good chunk of rwby, or at least had some plot points written out til the end, but all i can find is "he only planned out to volume/season 5", "volume/season 3", and then apparently "volume/season 10". again, this may mean actual scripts and more, OR just plot points, like a lot of us writers do (ive got a beginning, middle, and end for my story rn, but i only have a bit for the points past what ive already written. fun fun, but i digress. anyways.). so that's... completely all up in the air. what i'm saying is, from what we've gotten past three, and even five, i've enjoyed it a ton! i enjoyed rewatching it! i caught all kinds of small things and foreshadowing and i've enjoyed it a lot. call me easily amused or impressed by "horrible writing" (which... that's all honestly based on opinion at this point.), but fuck it. love this shit.

i can see why people are irritated with shippers. i can definitely see why others have granted a name for the peope who hate the show but still follow it JUST to make steven universe-esque critical posts about it call it the "hatedom" (which obv has been happening before steven's verse but hell it feels and looks so much like it. ya'll.. it's not. that. deep. sometimes.). the rwby fandom is so damn messy and i can see why i've been literally avoiding it for years and just happily watching the show.

this entire thing is def why i've been keeping myself from engaging in it and/or even making any content/side fan accounts for it. it's just... so immaturely messy. a whole mess!!!! a whole mess.

if you want to argue with me: don't. i will ignore you. you're literally part of the problem. if you hate these opinions so much, bro, just block me! it's super easy! a few taps/clicks, and you never have to see me again. wild, i know. i can do the same to you. epic.

have a rad day.

#opinions ahead srry abt tht #rwby #rwby fandom

22 notes · View notes

misterbitches · 3 years

Text

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #i told sunset about you #a thot #tharntype #lovely writer #bl fandom #idk #lol #long

11 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

2 notes · View notes

queenofbaws · 4 years

Text

Day 4: Glasses

Fandom: Dragon Age Characters: Varric Tethras, F!Hawke, Bethany Hawke Words: 2,894 Rating: T (Language, alcohol) Author’s note: Four days in and I’m not giving up yet!!! This is 100% inspired by this fanTASTIC art drawn by @demdoodles for a smooch prompt (and the tags on said art ;P).

Now, one didn’t need to be a genius to see Hawke wasn’t enjoying the party. One sort of had to be an out and out idiot not to see it, really, what with the grimacing and the wincing and the mouthed pleas whenever Leandra wasn’t looking her way (he wasn’t sure, since lip-reading wasn’t particularly high up on his list of skills, but he had a pretty good idea the last one had either been ‘Can we leave?’ or ‘Kill me, please!’). Still, it wasn’t until right around the third - whoops, fourth - champagne flute he watched her drain and set on a nearby table that Varric realized just how much she wasn’t enjoying it.

“If she doesn’t slow down, Mother’s going to make me drag her home...”

He glanced over to see Bethany milling about nearby, a tiny twist to one corner of her mouth suggesting she wasn’t half as frustrated as she’d have him believe. “I dunno, sure looks to me like she’s handling herself all right.”

Bethany made a noise he was more than passingly familiar with - the younger sibling grunt of disapproval. “She’s absolutely going to make a fool of herself…”

“Oh, of that I have no doubt,” he joked, “But take it from me – I know you’re usually snuggled up all safe and warm in your bed by the time we’re just hitting our stride in the Hanged Man – ” Ah, the younger sibling snort of derision. Another classic. “- just suffice it to say I’ve seen Hawke do much more dangerous than rubbing elbows with nobles while significantly drunker. She’s gonna be fine.”

Gathering up the fabric of her skirt, she sighed, delicately sitting herself down next to him on the chaise. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something all night.”

Oh, this was bound to be good. If he’d come to learn anything during his time knowing the Hawke family, it was that Hawke herself had inherited most (if not all) of the genes needed for subterfuge; Bethany’s methods of sussing out information were usually much more direct. “A question, hmm? Well, if that question is ‘Did I teach Merrill how to cheat at Diamondback,’ the answer is yes, but that’s not the reason you lost the other night, Sunshine. That was just dumb luck, pure and simple.”

She fixed him with a glare that was only exasperated on the surface. “That’s not what I was going to ask you.”

“Ah, then go ahead.”

“I was wondering why you’re here at all, tonight. This doesn’t seem like the kind of place where you’d waste an entire evening.” Her attention was momentarily grabbed by something just over his shoulder, no doubt her mother and sister, but it was back on him in a flash, her curiosity evident in those big ol’ eyes of hers.

Varric shrugged. “What? Is it so hard to believe that I’d want to come cheer on my favorite mud-farming Fereldens as they try so valiantly to scrape away all the shit Gamlen’s run the family name through?”

For her part, Bethany didn’t appear particularly amused. She quirked an eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest in an obvious show of disbelief. “You’re lying.”

“Accusations! Madam, you wound me.”

The eyebrow crept higher.

“Look. Sunshine. Here’s what you need to understand: Of all of us, only one has known Kirkwall’s hoitiest and toitiest long enough to have all the information needed to pull together a solid extortion on short notice, and that would be yours truly. I figured I could help by pointing Hawke to the right peop – ”

“You are so full of it.”

That time, he was almost actually taken aback; he angled himself to get a better look at her, and what he found there wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. The Hawkes were good at one thing above all else, he’d learned, and that was stubbornness. “Wow, this is what it’s come to, huh?” He looked over his shoulder briefly, just in time to watch Hawke set another empty glass down with a grimace. She caught his eye for an instant and mouthed what seemed to be ‘Fine dining,’ but was probably ‘I’m dying.’ He offered a sympathetic shrug in response before turning back to Bethany. “All right then, why do you think I’m here tonight?”

Bethany held his stare for a moment longer before raising one of her hands, coyly acting as though she were examining her nails. “You’re here because you fancy my sister.”

Now, his expression didn’t change. Oh no, he hadn’t gotten where he’d gotten in life by being so easily readable. He simply watched her for a beat, trying to parse the particulars of her expression – it wasn’t hard, considering she was giving him the Hawke grin, the one where the corners of the eyes crinkled and the nose scrunched up and the childish threat of a tongue being stuck out seemed ever-present. “More accusations, huh? You know, that’s the best way to get in trouble around these parts, young Mistress Hawke, throwing around unsubstantiated claims like that…”

“You do,” she repeated, more insistent that time, still carrying on her act of carefully inspecting her manicure.

There was some kind of movement in his periphery, and while it was nothing especially big or sudden, he found himself fighting to keep from turning around again. Oh no, no, no. If there was anything he valued, it was his pokerface, and whirling around to give Hawke another look would’ve been more than enough to give Bethany all the information she wanted. Absolutely not. “I’m starting to wonder if you’ve had anything to drink tonight, Sunshine.”

“Oh don’t do that! We both know I’m right.”

“Do we?”

She pooched her lower lip out in something he couldn’t exactly call a pout, but wasn’t too far off. “I’m right. And I think tonight would be the perfect time for you to say something about it to her.”

That time his face must’ve changed, because her grin widened until she appeared every inch like the cat that got the cream. “Of course you do. And uh, why, pray tell, do you think that?” He raised an eyebrow of his own to match hers. “Inquiring minds must know.”

“Well…” Smoothing her skirt out, Bethany shrugged her shoulders once in a feign of innocence. “Between you and me…I think…personally…you’ll find that, as usual…you two will…have very similar opinions on the matter.” She punctuated every few words with a vague wave of her hand.

It was difficult to describe exactly what that revelation brought about inside of him. Again, best not to put a name to it. He wasn’t about to crack and let Bethany see…whatever there was to see there below the surface. “Uh huh. Okay. I can see the problem here…you’re confused.”

“I am not!”

“No, you are. Now, here’s the thing Sunshine, you’re young. So young. A baby, practically.” He smirked when her response was, yes, the younger sibling glare of disdain – she was really going all out tonight! “So I’m going to clue you in on a lesson you only learn once you get to be my age, all right? The intrepid hero never winds up with the narrator, okay? Sorry to say it, I know I’m breaking your heart here, but that’s just how it goes. You’d have better luck trying with the rebellious swashbuckler or the tormented, selfless apostate. Trust me on this, I’ve read this story a time or two in my life, and it always – always – ends up the same.”

Bethany folded her hands in her lap again, a strange expression coming over her face. If he had to name it, he might’ve called it ‘stony,’ but that…that wasn’t quite right. There was something else there too, something distinctly Hawke-like, and ooh that couldn’t be good. When she spoke up again, her words were no longer sugared or drawled, instead wrought with confidence enough to be, quite frankly, startling. “If you’re so sure of yourself, would you care to bet on it? Three sovereigns says I’m right.”

He reeled backwards, only a little, only a bit, the question surprising a laugh out of him. What was her game? “Oh, this is something we’re going to bet on, now?”

“Oooh, a bet?”

And in that moment, he understood in perfect, crystal clarity. That sneaky little so-and-so…

Instinctively, Varric moved over a few inches to give Hawke more space as she sat herself down between the two of them. “What’re we betting on?”

“How long you’ll be laid up in bed tomorrow bellyaching about how bad your hangover is.” The lie came quickly, naturally, to him, and sure, under normal circumstances he never would’ve tried such a transparent cover-up on her (there was, after all, no bullshitting a bullshitter), but Hawke’s words had gone runny and soft at the edges, and sweet merciful Andraste, she smelled like alcohol.

Hawke scoffed, “Cleary – ahem – clearly neither of you know who you’re talking to. I’m fine.” She sunk a bit deeper into the cushions, fanning herself lightly with one hand, pursing her lips in an exhausted exhalation. “Maker, I hate this shit. All this pointless talk about estates and politics and…and…horses.”

Bethany’s leaned over enough that Varric could see her around Hawke, her forehead creased and mouth turning down in a silent question. The very look itself seemed to ask: Horses? But alas, he couldn’t even begin to guess at an answer for her.

Confused though she was, Bethany recovered with an incredible quickness, turning to Hawke. “Well, look on the bright side! At least – ”

“There’s free champagne.”

“Wh…no. That isn’t what I was going to say and you know it.”

“I know. But it is true, though.”

“Maker, you’re impossible.”

Laughing, Hawke leaned away from Bethany and towards Varric, her bare shoulder coming exceptionally close to jabbing him smack-dab in the collarbone. “Sounds to me like someone needs more champagne.”

He returned her laugh, but it was a short-lived thing; all at once he was aware of Bethany’s smug gaze on him again, clearly and obviously appraising the interaction. “I can’t disagree with you there,” he began, reaching over to the table nearest the chaise and grabbing his glass of water, forcing it into Hawke’s hands. “As long as the someone in question isn’t you.”

She groaned even as she accepted the glass, taking an unhappy sip. For a moment, only a moment, he saw her glare down into the water as though angry at its insolence for not being champagne. “Fine, fine…worse than Mother.”

“What I was going to say,” Bethany tried again, raising her voice to get Hawke’s attention. “Is that this whole ordeal might be miserable, but at least you look so lovely tonight.”

“Awww…Bethany!”

Her smile went pointed at the corners, and just as it had happened before, Varric saw her entire scheme laid out in front of him as if she’d written it in the air. “It’s true! Varric was just saying that too, weren’t you Varric?” She cocked her head to the side, appearing very proud of herself as she continued, “Just going on and on and on about how lovely you are in that gown…”

What he wanted to do was glare daggers at her. What he actually ended up doing was giving Hawke his signature smirk and shrug as she turned to him with another appreciative coo. “What can I say? It’s a nice change from the armor.”

Leaning herself against his side, Hawke used her free hand to grab his cheeks between her fingers, giving him a playful jostle. “There’s nothing wrong with my armor! It’s perfectly fine!”

“It’s disgusting, Hawke. It’s absolutely rancid, and one of these days you’re going to have to come to terms with that.”

“It’s perfectly fu – ” She paused when a few nearby guests turned to look their way, no doubt due to the volume of her voice. Hawke merely smiled, took another sip of the water, cleared her throat, and then tried again softer (and slower) than before. “My armor is perfectly functional, thank you very much.”

“Spoken like a true dog lord.”

Her laugh came at precisely the wrong time, and she snorted into the glass, sending a fine spray of water into her own face. Hawke did her best to restrain her laughter, but it was a futile effort; she giggled as she wiped her face dry, shaking her head all the while. “How dare you, serah? How dare you?”

He wasn’t going to say it out loud, not with Bethany right there, but there was something about the sight of Hawke sitting there in the parlor, lit by the warm glow of a fire, gown cut to show the curve of her neck and shoulders, cheeks flushed and lips parted with laughter that was…

Something. It was something.

Something that Bethany, it seemed, didn’t notice. No, she was too preoccupied with the fact that her little trick hadn’t worked, her lips momentarily tightening into a flat line of thought. Then the light came back into her eyes and Varric knew he was about to have his ass held to the fire again. “We were having the most interesting conversation before you joined us, you know…”

“Oh?” Hawke had managed to get the worst of her laughter under control by then. “Do tell! I’m desperate to hear about anything that isn’t Lord and Lady Such-and-Such’s summer home in Tantervale.”

“I was just saying to Varric that it’s very obvious that he fancies - ”

And there was her mistake.

He had to give her credit, really he did, but oh, something she was going to have to learn was to be much, much more careful with her setups. Particularly when she was dealing with someone like him.

“That Sunshine here has a bit of a thing for Choir Boy.” He did his best to control his grin as he watched her eyes go wide and her jaw go slack with betrayal. “Yeah,” he added before she could get another word in edgewise, “It’s real sweet, don’t you think, Hawke?”

Hawke whirled towards Bethany so quickly that she seemed to throw herself off balance, rocking back and forth for a moment before steadying. “Oh, Bethany, please.”

It was too hard to hold his snickers back that time, so…he didn’t. Varric laughed, holding his hands palms-up in a ‘What can you do’ gesture behind Hawke.

Pursing her lips tightly together, Bethany folded her arms tightly across her chest and averted her gaze, her face bright red. “I said nothing of the sort.”

“Oh thank the Maker,” Hawke breathed, pressing a hand flat to her own chest in relief. “He’s nice enough, but Bethany, he’s so boring.”

The look Bethany shot him was nothing short of withering. Varric just grinned.

“I…oh no.” The cushions of the chaise dipped as Hawke tried to sink down even lower. “Mother found me. Ugh.” She let her head loll back onto her shoulders before she appeared to resign herself to her fate. Hawke finished off the water in one impressive gulp, grabbing either side of her bodice and hoisting it upwards into its proper place. “Duty calls,” she groaned, beginning to ease herself onto her feet.

Before she could get too far, Varric grabbed her wrist, giving it a covert tug. “The one she’s talking to right now? Owes the Guard more than you’d believe. I’d make a point of mentioning how close you are with Aveline, how the Guard’s awfully kind to your house.”

Hawke nodded once curtly, bent down so she could hear him, though her eyes flicked towards the people in question. “Got it. Can do.”

“Oh, and before I forget, I mentioned to Corff that we had a uh, unpleasant job ahead of us tonight,” he added, “He promised he’d push last call until we got a round or two in.”

The sound Hawke made was so joyful it was nearly a sob. That much he’d expected. What he hadn’t expected, what he couldn’t have expected, was what she did next.

Namely, she grabbed him by his face, her hands warm on his cheeks, and pulled him into a deep, dizzying kiss. It was over before he could figure out what in the great blue fuck had just happened – one second she was there, pressed flush against him, her lips soft but insistent against his, and then she was gone, sweeping off to join her mother near the main staircase.

“I’ll take my winnings, please,” Bethany said, pleased as punch. She didn’t immediately move to take up the space Hawke had been sitting in, but she did hold her hand out to him as covertly as possible, fingers wiggling in wait for his coin.

It took him a moment to find his voice, and wasn’t that the damnedest thing? When he did, though, he found he had to clear his throat a couple times before managing to eke out a low, “I never said I agreed to that.”

She gave his shoulder a petulant smack, but he didn’t even feel it. For that moment, he wasn’t aware of much besides the racing of his heart and the faint taste of champagne on his lips…except, of course, the growing suspicion that maybe Sunshine had been right all along.

At least…he let himself hope she was.

#dragon age #da2 #hawke x varric #varric x hawke #queenie writes dragon age #queenie writes challenge stuff #my fanfiction #not so fun fact: my comp crashed the first time i wrote this so this is V2 #and NOT EDITED LOL

27 notes · View notes

thelioncourts · 4 years

Text

title: the mannequin gallery fandom: captive prince pairing: damen/laurent rating: mature words: 4793 for chapter three (3/?); 14856 all together

story summary: If things would have gone the way they were supposed to, Damen and Laurent would have never met. But things didn’t go the way they were supposed to, not at all, and their meeting ended up being the equivalent of skydiving with a malfunctioning parachute. Damen tried not to complain. After all, he was now living his dream; he was travelling with his best friend without having to make sure their “I"s were dotted and their “T"s crossed. And, sure, Laurent was difficult to work with, to work for, but he was also great to look at and they made it work well as long as they were anywhere but in Paris. But when Laurent’s past begins to cause present-day problems, Damen finds out those difficulties Laurent constantly displays were a bit more warranted than he could have ever imagined. And Laurent? Laurent finds out the truth – and finds out how to smile.

It was crazy to think all that could happen in a twenty-four-hour time period.

One minute, Damen and Nik were unpacking their belongings in a paid-for-by-Etoile hotel room, one minute later they were both delving into their own very important research, and one minute after that they were on a photoshoot set, their first photoshoot set ever.

Nik, upon arrival, was certain he was in over his head. Damen didn’t want to say it out loud, but he thought Nik was in over his head too.

In typical Nik fashion, his own researching had been spent going over each paper in the folder he had been given in the meeting. By the end of the day, there had been scribbles in all different colors of ink spattered across the surfaces of the pages, the meanings useless to Damen who had spent the same amount of time Nik had spent going over the folder figuring out how he could tag along to the photoshoot.

During his own research, Damen had discovered that most photographers do, in fact, have an agent that handles their business and, when available, attends photography events with them. Naturally, Damen had concluded, there was no one better suited for that role than he himself and he had told Nik as much in his fifth interruption of Nik’s studies that day. Nik had waved him off and Damen had taken that as a go-ahead to do as he pleased.

It’s how he found himself here, looking around in awe at the everything going on. He briefly wondered if all sets were this busy or if it was more an Etoile thing. Everything about Etoile seemed busy.

The shoot wasn’t scheduled to actually start until ten in the morning and the photographer’s call time had been for seven. Damen thought that seemed really early, but upon getting there and seeing the organized chaos of what was going on, he started to think seven wasn’t early enough.

He whistled under his breath and said so.

“It’ll be fine,” Nik said. He wasn’t looking at Damen, not looking at him at all. His eyes were assessing the room, the people, the lights. “All the photographers are meeting with the designer of this shoot, then the models are going to finish getting ready while we set up, then we’re going to set them up, and then the shoot begins. At least I think that’s how it’s going to happen. That’s what the papers said.”

A woman pushing a wardrobe cart walked by them, the black coverings for the clothing items hanging on it swishing against one another in an uneven fashion, all in contradiction with the one slightly squeaky wheel.

“So, who do you go to first?”

“Photographers are meeting over there,” a voice said from behind them. They both turned to see a woman with a severely cropped dark bob standing by a beverage table. She was watching them with blatant curiosity burning in her eyes. With a jut of her sharp chin, she was motioning over at where a large white covering was hanging from the vaulted ceiling of the gallery.

“Thanks,” Damen said after a moment.

[Continue on AO3]

“You both looked lost. Here, that kind of expression puts you behind the rest.” She walked toward them, a dark red mug steaming with caffeine in hand, and gave them her free hand for a handshake. “I’m Vannes. One of the designers. And you,” she said, pausing as she shook Nik’s hand, “must be one of our dear boss’ lovely photographer experimentees.”

“If that’s how we’re defining it,” Nik said with a purse to his lips.

“And that makes you,” she trailed, eyes moving over Damen.

“I’m his agent,” Damen said. Vannes laughed, the sound bright and loud. No one paid them any mind.

“You said that so confidently, I almost believed you.”

Her eyes kept that blatant curiosity in them as she walked back over to the beverage table. There was something there Damen didn’t necessarily dislike, but he did find unsettling. He and Nik looked at one another, each with one raised eyebrow.

“Shall we?” Damen asked after a minute with a smile on his mouth.

“Yeah,” Nik said. He was biting off a laugh.

It was an adventurous little walk over to where the curtain was. There was a handful of more carts with clothes that rushed by, each pushed by a harried looking assistant of some kind, and what was definitely one of the models, a tall thing with flaming red hair who didn’t see them as anything more than an obstacle needing stepped over in his path all on their journey over. But once there, they were face to face with Nik’s competition.

“We’ll get introductions out of the way so we’re all familiar with one another,” an older and stout man said in heavily accented French. “My name is Audin. I, as well as Ms. Vannes, am one of the assistant designers of Etoile’s gold label line. Charls, Etoile’s head designer, will be in and out as this photoshoot is taking place, but he is also checking in upon the final designs for the Paris Fashion Week clothing so he will be busy.” Audin began to walk, handing out papers to the five photographers. “I am aware that you received paperwork from our very own courageous leader, but you may find some of the information on this sheet extremely useful. Remember for those of you who may not have experience in a photoshoot of this scale, these days can go for well over twelve hours.” Damen and Nik shared another look after Audin most definitely looked at Nik as he said, ‘for those you who may not have experience.’

“Without further ado, I would like to welcome you, Mr. Jeurre from our very own France, and congratulate you on your opportunity today.” Jeurre was by far the oldest of the photographers, with short cropped hair and a horribly serious expression that downturned his thin lips. “I would like to welcome you, Mr. Guilliame, also from our very own France, and congratulate you on your opportunity today.” Guilliame was a timid looking young man with fidgety fingers and eyebrows that looked permanently high on his forehead. “I would like to welcome you, Ms. Talik, from Turkey, and congratulate you on your opportunity today.” Talik was a tall and muscled woman, nearly at eye-level with both Damen and Nik, and eyes so dark they could have been black. “I would like to welcome you, Mr. Hendric, from Denmark, and congratulate you on your opportunity.” Hendric was large, broad across the shoulders, and had a mop of red hair and a matching beard that was more orange than red. “And lastly, I would like to welcome you, Mr. Nik, from Greece, and congratulate you on your opportunity today.”

Today is going to be quite busy, but hopefully quite rewarding as well. I am looking forward to seeing each of you work.”

Audin didn’t stay to talk or mosey around. He left, finding his way back to a table where Vannes stood with her severely cropped dark bob, and Damen huffed out a laugh.

“I can’t help but feel like that welcoming was nothing but a show.”

“Yeah, my gut is telling me he just did that so we wouldn’t run out the door before they could effectively suck us in for the day,” Nik agreed. He huffed out the same kind of laugh, looked down at the paper in his hand, then looked up at Damen. Overwhelmed was an understatement. “I should –” he started, a hand motioning vaguely at nothing.

“Right. Yeah, of course, Nik. Go do your thing. I’m going to wander, see what trouble I can get into,” Damen said. “Maybe after I get a coffee.”

“I was going to tell you that you looked like a zombie from that shitty movie we watched last month, but I didn’t want to insult you.”

Damen laughed as he walked away, fighting down the instinct to flip Nik off, and then watched until Nik disappeared back behind the curtain. Then, just as he said, Damen started to take the time to wander.

The photoshoot was in a gallery, one located in the southern part of the city, and its grandeur nearly outmatched that of Etoile’s headquarters. It was an all-white gallery, nothing but perfectly glossy marble and empty white walls. There were statues here that reminded Damen of the ones back home, all white, even their eyes, but they didn’t invoke the same kinds of feelings as the ones home; they felt foreign and cold and yet Damen couldn’t not look at them.

“Big boy.” The pet name was said from somewhere behind him and, once again, he turned to find Vannes looking at him with that same expression she had worn minutes ago. “Need help working the coffee machine?”

“No, I’ve got it. Thanks.”

“So, if you’re not a photographer, what on earth are you doing here?” she asked, handing him an empty red mug identical to her own.

“I told you, I’m here with one of the photographers, Nik. I’m his agent,” Damen said. The coffee maker hissed, steam rising from where it was pulling a double-shot before filling up with ninety-degree’s hot water.

Vannes leaned an elbow against the table, lowered her head just a smidge, and said in a quiet voice, “You’re not really his agent, are you? Brother perhaps?”

Damen felt his cheek dimple. “Close enough. Best friends since we were in diapers.”

“You two must be the influencers then,” Vannes said, laughing like she had earlier.

“Influencers?”

“You know, those people on Instagram or whatever that have millions of followers and pretty bodies to keep those followers interested.”

“No,” said Damen. “We’re not like that. We don’t sell anything or –”

“You sell yourselves,” she said, the words accompanied by an eye roll. “You’re not so different from our boys. The main difference, however, is that our boys will eat you alive.” Vannes snatched a sleek black stir stick that sat available in a holder before turning and walking back to where the photographers had disappeared off to, her heels clicking. “Take a croissant, you’ll never have one this good anywhere else.”

Damen understood the overwhelmed look he had seen in Nik’s eyes earlier only, for Damen, he wasn’t sure if it was just being here, if it was the strong smell of the espresso in his nose, if it was the dizzying effect the lights that were getting set up over where the main photos would be taken, if it was the shimmering gold of the clothes and makeup and jewelry, or if it was the thrumming feeling that everyone’s smiles were fake and not telling Damen all he should know.

He shook off the feeling by walking again, this time with a steaming cup in his hands. He walked by the table of jewelry, glittering watches, rings, necklaces, earrings, and a few other items he wasn’t quite sure what to make of, and he didn’t dare touch them. He then walked by the clothing. Unfamiliar as he was with fabrics, he recognized the gauzy look of some shirts and he took in its appearance next to the embroidered sleeves, lace trim, and sleek looking fabric of some of the other pieces.

More people were arriving every second. Damen had noticed it as soon as Vannes had left, the constant opening and closing of the gallery doors, the parade of faces, some smiling and some not. In the corner he saw a familiar face. Jord was there, looking serious as always, and his sunglasses from the day before yesterday were firmly in place despite them being indoors. Damen thought about approaching him and then thought better of it. Instead he opted to wander more, letting his feet guide him where they pleased.

Across the gallery, he spotted Nik for the first time since they had separated. He watched as Nik took a few pictures of one of the statues, looked at the LCD screen, adjusted a few buttons that Damen was certain could change everything about a photo, then took another picture. He watched Nik repeat the process and when it became clear that Nik was going to do that for a while, Damen continued on.

In the far back corner was where the magic must be taking place. Magic, in this case, meant changing the models from every day-beautiful to Etoile photoshoot worthy-beautiful. There were more carts of clothes, more jewelry, a changing curtain, and a line of vanity mirrors that were lit up like the Eiffel tower at night. Damen found himself walking there, preparing to perhaps introduce himself to the makeup artists that might already be there, when he suddenly saw a swish of gold; and then Damen saw him.

Damen hadn’t expected the models to have been ready so early. Then again, Damen didn’t really know a lot about fashion so, looking at it now, his expectations were probably way off the mark anyway. Still, whatever expectations he had had going into this hadn’t prepared him for this.

Everything about him was gold.

He had legs a mile long, legs dressed in a loose and transparent gold material that brushed the tops of his bare feet. Across his shoulders was a drape of gold silk that clung to the skin right below his collarbones and then flowed, the holes of the sleeves so low the top three ribs on both sides of his chest showed. On one of his hands, one of his elegant hands, were four rings, three of them simplistic bands with the smallest of gems embedded in the metal whilst the last one held in its center a large citrine stone. On the other hand were three rings, each with equally sized jewels, ones that matched the jewels dangling from his ears. It was only when he turned, assumingly to talk to one of the makeup artists, that Damen got a look at his face and was able to take in the delicately placed gold leaf on his temples, that dusted the tops of his shoulders and the even more beautiful gold of his hair that had gold interwoven through the strands. Then the light hit him, and Damen saw the one piece of him that didn’t match, that wasn’t gold at all. Beyond the gold shadow dusting the inner corners of his eyes was the most startling blue color, brighter and clearer than the color of the water back home.

Even if he had been in a room full of nothing but the most beautiful of things, Damen knew then and there he would have never been able to look anywhere else.

Whatever snippet of conversation the model and the makeup artist had been having must have ended because suddenly he was walking toward Damen. Somehow there was both a determination and a carelessness to the way he walked, as though he was very ready for whatever was to come and felt very above it all too.

“À moins que cette tasse de café ne soit pour moi, il n'y a aucune raison pour que vous vous teniez ici.”

Damen had a lot of reactions to that. The main part of him wanted to laugh, that kind of laugh that comes out as a huff of air from his nose, and say something, something like, ‘This coffee isn’t for you, but my room has a coffee machine that’ll do a great job if you want to check it out.’ The other part of Damen wanted to say something of the same tone as his, something in French just to cause a reaction, something like, ‘Surpris, vous pouvez même me voir ici depuis ce grand cheval sur lequel vous êtes,’ or ask ‘Portez-vous de l'or pour montrer votre personnalité scintillante ou pour cacher votre merde?’ But instead of doing any of that, saying any of that, Damen just stared, taking in the way he walked as though he was gliding, taking in the hard pull of his otherwise full mouth, taking in the single strand of blond hair that had fallen out of his artfully done do and instead was swinging in front of those blue eyes.

It was only when he was standing by Audin, speaking, that Damen noticed Nik, still across the room, staring pointedly right at Damen whilst making the universal ‘Cut it out!’ motion across his neck.

It brought Damen back to himself and he laughed, laughing harder when Nik mouthed, ‘You’re dead to me.’ Damen walked over to Nik, mouthing back as he walked, ‘I’m the only thing keeping you from hanging yourself right now,’ with a noose motion and everything.

“How’s it going?” he asked, taking in the open camera bag and all the lenses scattered. The death stare he got from Nik said it all.

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” He lifted up one lens that was wider than the one already in his hands before setting it back down. “I knew that coming into this. I knew that when they handed me that folder and I most definitely knew it walking in here. But after that?” he said, jutting a thumb where Charls had joined Audin and the model, “I’m going to be lucky to get out of here alive.”

“Hey,” Damen started. “You’re going to be fine. They’re not even going to know what to do when they see what you create.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard what they’re saying about me. About us,” Nik said.

Damen leaned a shoulder against one of the many white pillars. “No?”

“Well half of them speak only French, so I’m sure my translation is off, but Mr. Denmark over there was talking to Jeurre, the old man, about how we’re influencers,” he said, making a face at the word.

“Oh,” Damen with the exact same face, “yeah. Vannes, our lovely friend we met when we first got here, told me that.” He took in Nik’s furrowed brow, took in the muscle clenching in his jaw. “Look, they might think of us, of you, like that right now, but I meant what I said, Nik. They’re going to see what you create and they’re going to realize how below you they all are. I –”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Charls announced loudly, his voice carrying far with the high ceilings. He sounded joyous and genuine, far different than anyone else here had sounded as they spoke. “Many of our models are in the final stages of dress. That means it will be time to begin in the next few minutes. Photographers, please begin setting up over here, to the left. I can’t wait to see what art you envision!”

“See?” Damen muttered. “That guy believes in you.”

Nik rolled his eyes and went to comment when the blond walked by again. He was going back toward the vanities where one of the stylists was beckoning him. Damen watched with rapt attention as the stylist fixed that loose strand of hair that had been one of the many objects of Damen’s focus earlier.

“His name is Laurent.”

“Hm?”

Nik was squatted down, rearranging lenses, but now he was looking at Damen. The look in his eyes was too familiar, a resigned kind of look that Damen hadn’t seen on Nik’s face since Jokaste, and yet he was smiling. The upturn to his mouth made him look more exasperatedly fond.

“The blond. His name is Laurent.” Nik fiddled with two of the buttons on the camera, turning one to the left three times, turning the other to the right once. “He’s Etoile’s top earner and also the nephew of the owner. I would say he only got the job because of his connections, but clearly,” Nik said with a careless motion to where Laurent stood, “that’s not the reason. Or, well, not the only reason anyway.”

“Laurent.” Damen tested out the name. “He’s, uh, something.”

“He’s blond, blue-eyed, beautiful, and, if what I’ve heard is true, a raging bitch so yeah, he really is something. He’s all of your weaknesses wrapped into one.”

Damen ignored the last part. “Who said he’s a bitch?”

“Anyone and everyone that’s ever been in a room with him for longer than two minutes.”

“He can’t be that bad,” said Damen.

Nik shot him another look. “Jeurre over there has worked with him before. Jeurre says that at a photoshoot two years ago, Laurent made one of the newer designers cry so hard that he quit on the spot. I’ve heard one of the current designers talking about how Laurent refused to let one of the newest models, one of the newest signees, be part of this show at all and put down his foot until his uncle gave him his way. I also heard another one of the models say that Laurent gets to lead all the shoots because of his name.”

“Well, I think his face probably has a big thing to do with the last part,” Damen said.

“That’s not the point, Damen. He’s a spoiled, entitled, and, again, raging bitch. If he doesn’t like someone, he can and will make their life a living hell. And in this case, that means that if he doesn’t like me, it’s me whose life will be made a living hell and who won’t get a shot at making it beyond these next three days. But, if what I have also heard is true, he doesn’t like anybody so…” Nik trailed. “Who knows what that means.”

“Come on, who doesn’t like your smiling face?”

“Alright everyone,” Charls said over the noise of the room once again. “We are now ready to do our preliminary shots. Photographers, you will each do some photographs of our entire beautiful group before we start rotating each model with you all individually and in smaller groups, most likely duos.”

“Time to start,” Nik said with a huff.

“You’re going to kill it,” Damen said.

“Or get killed.”

The photoshoot background was nothing but a white backdrop, one that might as well have been the white walls of the gallery. The models were all in place and they looked like the inside of a jewelry box, all glittering and golden and bright. It was evident who the stars of Etoile were; they were placed near the front, shining. The redhead Damen and Nik had seen earlier was there, dressed in an all-sheer gold piece, the only solid bit of gold being the piece around his hips and the line of paint from the center of his forehead all the way down the bridge of his nose and the middle of his lips. Then there was a brunette, curly haired and young with green eyes and a flowing golden top, ones with sleeves that almost touched the floor when his hands were by his sides and a shock of gold shadow on his lids that made his green eyes look full of fire. Toward the back was a slew of other models, all pretty, if generic, mostly with hair in shades of brown and a small handful of ones with brown eyes that reflected the gold and made the eyes look like honey. And there, at the front, was Laurent. That loose strand of hair had long been put in place but Damen couldn’t not remember where it had fallen, how its gold had matched the gold of everything else and how Laurent’s blue eyes were the most startling thing in this entire gallery.

Damen, seeing that it was his time to let Nik do his thing, took a step back.

All five of the photographers had a different set up, had a different way of standing, and all of the models, even in a group setting, radiated a different kind of energy. Damen watched as Nik took a picture, checked it on the screen, adjusted something on the camera settings, and took another. He watched as Nik lowered himself a little, instead of standing at his full height. Then it became clear Nik had found the right settings for himself and his camera. And then Nik became less interesting to watch from his stagnant pose and Damen’s gaze quickly drifted.

Despite what Nik had told him about Laurent, Damen found himself drawn to watching the blond. There was something about him and the way he moved that was so unlike any of the other models, so unique to him and so graceful and elegant. Damen watched as Laurent pressed a shoulder against the redhead’s shoulder, watched as he lifted a single finger, one heavy with a ring, and placed it underneath the redhead’s chin where the line of solid gold paint ended.

It seemed too soon that things changed; Charls, who had been watching it all with bright hopeful eyes, started separating the photographers to different sections. It became clear the sections were random, that some photographers had sections of the gallery with pillars, or another had a section with the chandelier light overtop. Nik was led over to the gallery windows, bright and surrounded by the statues that reminded Damen of home.

The models were sent in groups and duos as said, all except Laurent who was moving around alone. Nik’s first photos were with the curly haired brunette and three of the less prominent models. Damen watched with fascination as Nik rearranged each model a few times, made some changes after taking three photos, and then took more photos, immediately pleased just as he had been with the group photos earlier.

Each group and duo stayed with each photographer for ten minutes. Damen realized it as he found himself watching Laurent move from the photographer from Denmark to the photographer from Turkey. The photographer from Turkey was in the section under the chandelier and Damen couldn’t not see how she moved back and played with her angles so the light from the chandelier created a rainbow effect with the light and shine of Laurent’s gold. Damen would bet money that those would be Times Square billboard worthy.

Damen had just turned to watch Nik ask the redhead to face the window when Charls announced that it was time for them to move once more. The redhead, heels clicking, left with a flirtatious wave. Then Laurent was there.

Laurent didn’t so much as even wait for Nik to mutter a hello or give him any kind of instruction before he was posing himself, the poses mostly just him standing and yet they were captivating in how natural they came to him. Nik went with it, not bothering to speak up, not until they only had another five minutes.

“Could you,” Nik started, his voice quiet in his attempt to not disrupt anyone else, in his disuse of it, “could you maybe pose with the statue?”

Laurent said nothing, only looked at Nik with a cool blue stare before moving to the statue closest to the window. With a gentle touch, Laurent pressed his fingertips against the statue’s own outstretched ones. Nik snapped a photo. Laurent stayed there for another thirty seconds, his eyes staring straight into the statue’s, and then he stayed there, his eyes staring straight into the camera. After that he shifted, turning himself into the open embrace of the statue’s arms, pressing himself against it close, pressing his cheek against its own cold one, soft as a lover. This time he looked ahead, his eyes finding an empty spot across the room, looking at it under his lashes, the look seductive and untrying. Damen’s breath was lost somewhere.

Nik asked Laurent another question, asked him, “Could you move behind the statue?” and Laurent did. Without prompting, Laurent draped his arms over its shoulders, but not before unclasping his shirt and letting it slide off his body so he could place it on the statue. Nik stepped closer so he was a foot away from the statue, so he could get a closeup shot of Laurent’s eyes against the gold of his now-discarded shirt and the white of the statue’s body.

And then Charls was calling again for the rotation to continue. Laurent left without a spare word or glance for Nik. The gold of his shirt, held between two fingers like it was a dirty handkerchief, trailed behind him.

Nik huffed out an unamused laugh. “Still think he’s not a raging bitch?”

#captive prince #damen of akielos #laurent of vere #lamen #captive prince fic #my writing #mannequin gallery 'verse #the mannequin gallery #the mannequin gallery chapter 3

24 notes · View notes

sleepless-streetss · 3 years

Text

Today I completed my first open water swim. Technically it wasn’t a long one, but it’s the first time I’ve swam in a setting that wasn’t a pool. It was freezing, but I pushed through because I really, really wanted to prove to myself I could. I had been planning on doing this, I just had hoped it would be a little warmer outside (it was 45 degrees outside this morning). Still, I dove straight into the water and swam until I felt I needed to float, floated for a while and looked at the sky, relaxing into the beauty of nature and turned around and swam back. I was freezing dragging myself out of that water, but I have never felt more alive. I wasn’t planning on bringing anybody with me for this, but a guy I’ve recently been seeing really wanted to come. I have known him since I was 13, we’ve been friends for a while and we just recently decided to take a leap of faith and date. He’s very strong, very kind, and so different than anybody I have been interested in before. He is absolutely without a doubt, not my type. That is not a bad thing. Dark thick hair, dark hooded eyes, tattoos that show on his outer body that make him look more hardened than he is but underneath those lies such a bright, light heart. He is my opposite in terms of, well everything besides working out. We hardly agree on anything. It’s wonderful. I learn something new every conversation that we have. The respect level we have for one another is incredible, even if we do not see eye to eye. He convinced me with a safety lecture about swimming safely so I let him tag along. He almost dove in with me, but it was like he read my mind. He stopped halfway through getting ready to dive and just slightly turned his head and said “what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? I see the wheels turning in your eyes, I almost want to say it’s cute but you overthink everything, that’s not a bad thing, I just know you and you never stop thinking.” I wasn’t even trying to be rude, but I looked at him and laughed and said “I like you. I really, really like you. I know I’ve been taking it super slow with you but before I do this and possibly die, I wanted you to know that (at this point, we’re both laughing), I also really want to do this on my own. Please don’t hate me for this.” and he just looked at me and said “I knew you would, I just wanted to be here to support you. I’ve never met anybody as stubborn, as independent, as brilliant as you, and I would never want to change that. If you drown, I’ll sink to the bottom with you, and I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ll save you because you don’t need saving. Dive. Now. Please don’t die because you are not replaceable.” And off I went, he filmed the whole thing and yes, I was slow and my strokes were not perfect and you could tell I was freezing and my mother almost killed me when I returned sopping wet and slightly blue but I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel on fire.

And there he was. Standing on that shore line screaming “keep going! You’re a warrior!” At the top of his lungs. He jumped into the water with me at the end, and we just waded together cracking up in that cold, icy water. And he didn’t kiss me. He didn’t even try to touch me. 2 months of dating and he still respects every body boundary I have at this point. I wanted for the first time in a long time, to grab the sides of someone else’s face and feel their lips, but I was scared of ruining such a good moment. So we just stared at each other for a while. And he didn’t make me feel overwhelmed or under appreciated. We got so close our faces were inches from each other’s and he still didn’t force it. He just looked straight into my eyes and said “I have loved you for 7 years. Ive been waiting to say that forever. Loving you doesn’t ever go away, I have tried to find you in so many other peope but it just isn’t possible. You are amazing. You don’t ever have to say it back but I don’t think anybody could find anything as beautiful as your soul in this world and you deserve to know that. Inside and out, you are just, everything.” and he pulled me out of the water and onto the dock. He makes me feel like I am me. Like I can be me, without clinging to someone’s side. Like I am me, and not a part of somebody else. He hasn’t tried to claim me because I am not an object, and he wants to earn my respect. He has said multiple times that whenever I am ready, he is too. That he’s been ready since he was a kid, but he has waited patiently for me to find my way back. He’s let it be me. My terms. He also knows how I feel about social media and has respected me enough to keep me off of there as well. He likes that I am a winner, and my attitude about quitting is that I just won’t and he really admires that. Winners do not need validation from anyone but themselves, and they keep going, even when they feel like they’re about to drown. I still don’t know if he’ll be the one who makes me shine again. I’m taking it super slow, but he doesn’t try to make me feel like I’m something to show off to the world and that is so nice. I haven’t made it official simply because I’m enjoying this time we have together, but I’m still unsure if I am ready. Right now we are alone, hushed from the buzz of outside distraction and commentary. No pictures for anyone but ourselves, no need for a validation sticker on us, no outsiders commenting about it and giving unsolicited opinions, it’s been really nice. Being just us. But deep down right now, I really like being just me. Does that have to change? He likes me. Cold, sopping wet, hair sticking to her forehead, freezing and stubborn and blue in the lips. Laughing through possible hyperthermia and all the lows of her life because she just won’t let it keep her down. Because who doesn’t love a girl who just won’t quit and who does not give a damn who is standing beside her because she thrives standing alone? He admires me, and that is what has made me feel more beautiful than ever before. The freezing water and his smile and hearing that I am a warrior, that is how I began 2021. I can admit though without it hurting any longer, that there is a laugh I wish I could have heard on that shoreline as I struggled to swim my way back. The only thing in the world I think a part of me will always want validation from because I never got it back, but I’m scared the smile on the shoreline today might just overtake that perfect laugh in my mind. Why am I scared? I shouldn’t be scared. And I think that is why I memorized what Christian said to me. I have replayed this conversation for the past 24 hours in my mind trying to force something to click. Maybe it’s because I remember someone else loving me stubborn and wild, and this independent, too. I’m back, and I won’t let her disappear ever again. Why does she yearn for anybody else to admire that though? She can shut out anybody in the blink of an eye, no emotion about it, but him. He’s as cold as that icy water and yet she still would dive straight in if he asked her to.

#personal #2021 #a hoe does get cold #water was freezing af

1 note · View note

danwhobrowses · 4 years

Text

AEW Double of Nothing 2020 - My Thoughts

Well that was a long night, it’s tough watching USA PPVs in the UK. But Double or Nothing is in the books and since I have free time I thought I’d talk about some stuff I liked and disliked I’ll have to note, I’m not a sole AEW fan, I like stuff from WWE, NJPW, Stardom, TJPW and DDT Pro too, dabbling in ROH, Impact and NWA from time to time and reminiscing fondly over the time Lucha Underground was great. But I say this because I don’t want people quickly pointing fingers at me accusing me of being a stan for AEW or WWE just because I like or dislike something they disagree with, I’m not playing bias I am literally working on impulse and sleep deprivation

Spoilers for AEW Double or Nothing 2020 obviously, watch, enjoy, look at some gifs maybe and come back here

The Buy-In:

Private Party vs Best Friends (Winner is No.1 Contender for the AEW World Tag Team Championship) Winner: Best Friends via Pinfall (Strong Zero to Marq Quen)

For a pre-show match it was fine, the Buy-In stream did start way too early and streaming and audio issues would plague both Fite and BR Live streams throughout. As for the match, it was a tad sloppy at times but it is worth reminding people that PP haven’t been wrestling in a while. And they weren’t terrible botches, just a few overexersions, people can’t be as crisp as Rey Fénix every match, especially since there’s more margin of error the more people involved in the spot there is. The match was very back and forth at times, and the highlight has to be the G9, PP (and Big Swole) had been wearing SG armbands in honor of Shad Gaspard, who tragically died in Venice Beach due to a rip current submerging him, I had been a big fan of Cryme Tyme (and PS4′s God of War which he did motion capture of Kratos for) when they were in WWE, so the nice homage of using their finisher was a nice touch. As for the result I didn’t mind either way, I had backed PP due to their ongoing BTE feud with Hangman Page, but the Best Friends have definitely been consistent enough to challenge and possibly even win the titles, it would be sensible for them to win it too since they have lingering feuds with TH2, Death Triangle, The Superbad Death Squad and Butcher and Blade.

Main Card:

Intermission build for Casino Ladder Match

It was mostly people explaining how and why they were gonna win, but I did have to make a separate mention for Jimmy Havoc, dressed to fucking drip. Man looks like a bond villain.

Casino Ladder Match (Winner is No.1 Contender for the AEW World Championship at Fyter Fest) Winner: Brian Cage An early point I wanna make, I think AEW are spying on me because I had much earlier thought up a similar idea of a ‘Bargaining Chip’ to work as a guaranteed contendership boon. If Tony Khan wants to pick my brain all he has to do is call, I still think all non-title ‘Double or Nothing’ matches should be worth 2 wins/losses in the spirit of the PPV name. I also didn’t mind the giant chip, would’ve been silly if it was regular sized. AEW has a winner with this format I think, the battle royale format was good for introducing a group of new faces, but in a more condensed format the Casino rules for a Ladder match work two ways, the early people have less opposition to win while the last people are fresh, the red ladders were a bit much for my tastes though. As for the match, it was still a bit messy but there were 9 people plus interferences to deal with, also since Fénix was pulled from the match we have to give benefit of the doubt in terms of the match narrative changing. It was an odd choice picking both members of SCU to start but we may be setting up Superbad Death Squad vs SCU tensions as well, adding Darby in the halfway mark was a good burst of energy but you really do wince with the stuff Darby ragdolls through. OC was his usual hilarious self, the low-effort reach attempts, the brief pause with Cabana. The frenetic energy of Janela resumed the pace from the comedy segment until the super heavyweights came in; I did find that Luchasaurus did prioritize a fight over the match itself, but it worked for his heavyweight mentality and after being undone by Allin’s sunset bomb, gave us the space for the final entrant. Brian Cage, I love that man he is just nonsense talented, his moveset is unique and malleable and his power is insane. What a way to debut as well, completely ripped apart a ladder, murdered Allin with a ‘F-5000′ (Props to Excalibur as always) and was running roughshot - aside from OC, who almost hilariously piggybacked a win - until most of the competitors basically flattened him under a bunch of miscellaneous objects and a giant poker chip. This gave Luchasaurus some time to have some fun as the ‘Big Man’ too, really did enjoy the Marko mini-ladder and OC channeling the Hurricane with the chokeslam attempt, I do appreciate that Best Friends and Jurassic Express still have that rivalry, also Janela’s running DVD to OC on top of the pile of miscellaneous objects was a great spot, but it was all leading up to Cage bursting out and squaring off with the Dino, more of this! There was a bit of wobbly knees but the powerbomb on the ladder with gnarly, and we are due a hoss match for Luchasaurus since his feuds with Wardlow and the Butcher fell through due to COVID. But this was Cage’s time, I thought Allin was gonna sneak it for a moment but then I remembered that Cage winning was much more story-based. The ladder spot was brutal and a bit too much for the finish but the result I am still quite happy with. Before Fénix was pulled I backed him to win because I felt that the world title picture needed some speed after the methodical match with Hager, but Cage does have the speed and the power to put on a good show, he’s a proven world champion at Impact and he has been on AEW’s radar for a long time, injury keeping him out.As much as one can complain that this was just a gratuitous spot fest there was storyline; the faction conflicts of SCU, Superbad Death Squad, Best Friends and Jurassic Express was apparent but the main story by the end was the story of Allin and Tazz, Tazz was angered by Darby’s hostile response to his offer of managing him after his loss to Cody, so he’s taken Cage under his wing to enact some payback. It’s a solid looking pairing too, using the legends as managers is something AEW does well and using Tazz as Cage’s manager with his promo skills and their physical similarities is an interesting combination.

Jungle Boy vs MJF Winner: MJF via Pinfall (Modified European Clutch) This was one of my favourite wrestling matches on the card. The back and forth between MJF and Jungle Boy had some great athleticism and technical wrestling. This can easily be a top tier feud between the two later down the line, they are like two sides of a coin. The match had great storytelling in the fact that MJF worked Jungle Boy’s arm, which allowed him to escape situations like the crossface and hold on to the final pinfall, MJF was pulling great heel works and trickery while trying to work Jungle Boy into the Salt of the Earth finisher, the knee injury fakeout was great. But Jungle Boy also rallied with the babyface resilience, the explosive anger in the face of MJF’s undermining and proved his strength. I appreciated the finish as well, MJF won clean but Jungle Boy looked excellent, and it avoided Wardlow ex Machina. MJF continues to look more and more like world champion material and I can see him stealing it from Moxley.

TNT Presentation with Mike Tyson

Okay, I don’t like the belt. I’m sorry, I know it’s unfinished due to COVID so there’s room for improvement but it just looks too simple on the main plate. It seems like every other belt AEW releases is a bit lacking. The World and Tag titles are sublime but the Women’s title is far too small and the TNT title just lacks detail, it’s also hard to not think it looks like the WWE Raw Tag Titles mixed with the 24/7 title, I have never been a big fan of plastering the name in BIG DISTRACTING LETTERS in the middle. Granted, I get why silver was used for a midcard belt, and not every title can be Big Gold, Winged Eagle, NXT UK, IWGP or the ROH world title, but it could’ve taken more inspiration from the IC white strap, NXT NA title, AWA Southern Heavyweight or even the NJPW US title if you’re so adamant about the bright red strap. Frankly I was just disappointed that AEW presented such a weak design.

TNT Championship Tournament Final Winner: Cody via Pinfall (2 Consecutive Cross Rhodes) The finals for the match started off impressively, Archer looking like a total monster even bringing in some poor sod to decimate in front of an entertained Tyson before striking early with his finisher on Cody. Cody fought from under Archer’s offence to get some licks into his core. Sadly not all the cuts to Tyson were great, the one that’ll dominate media being the one where he was caught yawning. Before smarks jump at it, people are allowed to yawn, it’s not always a sign of boredom, given that Tyson is 53, has been hitting the gym hard and it was past 10pm, every other time they went to him he looked like he was loving the match, especially Archer’s heel intensity. The match didn’t have enough of Arn and Jake for my liking, given what was hinted at during Dynamite, I didn’t mind them being ejected especially since Arn was playing dirty too. Cody did pull out some storied offence with the Stringer Splash and Dustin’s Final Reckoning, but the ending kinda felt like the wrong result. After Jake was scared away by a Ripped Tyson from bringing his snake to the ring, Archer just became undone by Cody wriggling out of the Black Out and nailing two Cross Rhodes (third of the match) for the W. It was a bit iffy, I mean Cody has used the double Cross Rhodes to win a few matches already, so it felt like for me if Cody was to win then he’d need to pull off something extra. One Cross Rhodes made Archer kick out at one after all. Many people will use this as ‘Cody is an EVP of course he books himself as champion’ trying to liken him to Triple H or Jeff Jarrett, but while I disagreed with the result, I don’t think it’s bad that Cody wins a midcard title. He is never going to win the world title, he’s been a consistently great babyface for the company too and put MJF and Jericho over, as a wrestler you can’t have Cody not win a title ever. But that being said, I think defeat did hurt Archer, he was so in control of the match and just came undone right at the end, there was a heavy contrast to the Archer that started the match and the Archer that finished. It doesn’t mean he’s lost his aura completely, but winning the title would’ve done him more favours than it would have done Cody at this current time.

Intermission: Britt Baker Injury Update To prelude the Ford/Statlander match, there was a small bit explaining the nature of Britt Baker’s injury. It was kinda decent to still sell Britt’s gimmick by the doctor admitting that she’s being a handful, but the 6-8 week time frame is a shame, that’s only competing though, it’ll be interesting what they do with her on next Dynamite, she may get herself an enforcer too (Nyla could work, or Sadie Gibbs since she’s due a re-debut).

Penelope Ford vs Kris Statlander Winner: Kris Statlander via Pinfall (Big Bang Theory) While Penelope only had brief involvement in the Casino Ladder Match (she did have a weird space of just standing there for a bit as OC started to use 0.5% of his full power), hers and Kip’s entrance did put a smile as Kip sold the ladder match hard, as did Kris’ booping to the crowd and the joyous reactions of Nakazawa, Austin Gunn and Suge D/Pineapple Pete from it. The match itself was okay, this stage felt like a palate cleanser if anything. Ford and Kris did work pretty well, there was a nervy suicide dive where Kris’ head almost went into the barricade but we also got some great strikes, a good hurricanrana from Ford and a solid end as Kip tried to break the pin using his crutches. Ford has been lowkey great for the women’s division, her surprise win over Riho is proof of that, but Statlander was due a win. I felt like against Britt she was due a loss but now it feels like we can expand on that feud a bit, it’s good signs from AEW’s weak spot and it just needs a bit more faces - which of course is limited by COVID but I do really miss seeing Bea, Allie, Swole (who almost every heel in the crowd seemed to wanna rile up), Anna Jay, Shanna, Riho, Emi Sakura (who streamed her reactions of the show) and personal favourite Yuka Sakazaki in the ring, as well as hoping for returns from Ivelisse, Jamie Hayter, Sadie Gibbs and Awesome Kong for the Women’s Division, also maybe bring Vickie into the fold as a manager, she was a presence in the crowd.

Dustin Rhodes vs Shawn Spears Winner: Dustin Rhodes via Pinfall (Final Reckoning) Sadly this was the weakest match on the card. Started pretty well though, Spears was heeling it up a la Booker T in KOTR when Angle wasn’t cleared to compete and still demanded that they be counted out. There was also the HBK Montreal music fake-out which was pretty good, but he did wait a bit long to pull off the smile. Brandi halted the count allowing for Dustin to pull a sneak which was made great by the camera movement but from there it started to devolve into a weak spot. Comedy matches are fine, but times and place work for it, and Shawn Spears’ continued pursuit against Cody should not have been a comedy match in my opinion. I never dig the strip bit as well, there’s only so much you can suspend disbelief and Shawn being stripped to his boxers that have Tully Blanchard’s face on them is over that line. If Dustin was to win then I wished it wasn’t this way, sadly Spears has been hit with a revolving door of gimmicks, the Chairman was good but lacked intensity, the needing a partner looked to be going somewhere until COVID limited his options (and sank Brandon’s push) and this new anti-Cody gimmick has suddenly became a joke, it’s not a good spot for him especially when he had a pretty good match with Cody in the TNT tournament. We know through MJF that he can do comedy, but the key to comedy is timing and Shawn’s character should’ve been looking towards him contending for Cody’s newfound TNT title rather than being humiliated ass-cheeks out on TV...at least Peyton has something to giggle about at home though. Pre-Match Tribute to Hana Kimura (1997-2020)

I was glad that AEW took a moment to tribute Hana’s death. After the homage to Shad in the Buy-In I was hoping that they would reference her before the women’s title match and my hopes were realised. Reading the headline of her death yesterday morning put a horrid pit in my stomach, I had always felt that Hana was one of the most talented women in Stardom, as ‘Dark Hana’ in Oedo Tai, ‘Rave Hana’ when feuding with Kagetsu, ‘Death-Hana’ when teaming with Yama and of course as the TCS leader, I easily saw her in a few years time being the face of the company, her faction was on a high, she partook in Stardom’s first ever Tokyo Dome match at Wrestle Kingdom, she had wrestled in guest entires for DDT Pro and ROH, and I also hoped to see her in an AEW ring one day (Brandi had Stardom ties after all). Her dedication to the business was palpable as she even went into a reality show to try and get more eyes on wrestling, and yet cyberbulling drove her to feel so sub-human that she likely took her own life. It was a horrible, horrible thing to read about, and I really wanted to vent this out yesterday but didn’t due to the fact that I didn’t tribute Shad’s death and didn’t want it to appear that I only cared about Hana’s death. Shad’s death was sad of course, he nobly prioritised the rescue of his son and sadly time was not on his side against the elements, it’s obviously terrible that he died and the world is poorer for his loss as well, but Hana’s death hit me harder for different reasons. For one, she was 22, 5 years younger than me, her career was bright and her smile wide, and yet anonymous sadsacks were able to torment her enough for no reason other than so they could bring a young woman down to make themselves feel better, as a person who underwent a lot of bullying at a young age - I was forced to eat dirt once in primary school - this did hit hard for me, because despite both deaths being tragic: Shad died because of the elements nobody can control, Hana died because of people, sad, despicable people and even though I never knew Hana or would’ve even been able to reach her, it sucks feeling that there was nothing we could do to help her. In conclusion, bullying sucks, and Excalibur put it aptly as many others have, it doesn’t cost a thing to be kind and if you’re struggling there’s people who’ll be there for you.

AEW Women’s Championship (No DQ or Count-Out) Nyla Rose (c) vs Hikaru Shida Winner: Hikaru Shida via Pinfall (’Three Count’ Knee Strike) Perhaps one of the best women’s matches AEW have put on, I was very looking forward to this matchup. I am not one of those people who disliked Rose winning the title, she (yes she, grow up) was a good, dominant heel and I bloody love that jumping knee strike. But I also love Shida, she’s been a consistent force in AEW, being a part of most of the Women’s Division’s best matches, also she as a person is very likeable. I have to add a note that while I’m not too familiar with Final Fantasy (Tumblr seems to think I am mind you), I did like the small Tifa Lockhart cosplay in Shida’s attire. In general the fancy entrances and attires were sadly limited by COVID, but when you did see them it did make it a little special because of its rarity. The No DQ stip was a good one, I did worry it would lead to Shida’s downfall but the storytelling revolving around Shida’s tenacity, Nyla’s brutality and the coveting of the kendo stick all really meshed together well. There were some solid spots and some proper brutal strikes. I appreciated the attention to the fact that Nyla’s arm and Shida’s leg were weakened and that came into play as they landed their big moves to a near fall. The finale though was good, following a beautiful sequence of an Avalanche Falcon Arrow and the weak-legged ‘Three Count’ at two, Shida’s resiliency proved too much for the native beast as she laid her out with a Kendo stick to the head and one more ‘Three Count’ for the eventual namesake. While Nyla’s reign was long, COVID did sadly prevent her from defending much and that was a shame, her only real defense being against Statlander, but it was the right call to pull the trigger on Shida. Like Asuka in WWE, she has been a consistent fan favourite with star aura, being No DQ also aided Nyla in saving face; Shida only won due to her Kendo strikes and out-of-ring spots, so it made her strong that it took that stipulation to bring her to her limit. I do welcome the type of storylines they’ll have to build opponents for Shida too, with Britt in recovery it gives her time before they can renew hostilities, which grants a platform for other heels to develop and challenge. Also do appreciate that the top titles were carded back-to-back, speaking of which...

AEW World Heavyweight Championship Jon Moxley (c) vs “The Exalted One” Mr. Brodie Lee Winner: Jon Moxley via KO by Submission (Rear Naked Choke) While the build to Moxley and Brodie started abrupt, one had to appreciate jumping at this matchup sooner rather than later. Both men were lacking a strong feud to go with since the Inner Circle were still involved with The Elite and SCU were being preoccupied with the TNT title. The Dark Order had gained a resurgence with the mystery of the Exalted One, and with some impressive squashes by Brodie and Preston Vance impressing as his new protegee ‘10′, things were looking decent for the faction, but this still remained a risky angle. For Brodie this would be a make or break moment for his character, he had already gotten some disdain as people compared his gimmick to a Vince McMahon caricature and questions rose on whether he was ready for this spot, if he wasn’t then the Dark Order would’ve fell to square one. But that didn’t happen. From the moment Brodie came out with his horde he exuded a brilliant amount of heel smugness, feeling as if being champion was already a certainty (I do also love how previously he had a minion carry the belt for him like a boxing entourage), the mind games already on display before the bell even rang. Moxley also looked raring to go, his usual swaying self with a bit of purpose and a lovely gold sprayed jacket as he strided to the ring, separated by a row of security to sell the animosity between the villain and the antihero. The match was very strong, a really enjoyable world title match that meshed the brawling styles of both men, the advantage going to and fro as Brodie used his power to gain advantage while Moxley used his unconventional assault - even grabbing Lee’s beard for a headbutt - and the outside of the ring with a lovely Paradigm Shift through the ramp that brought some believable (in the context of the spot) colour to Brodie’s face. The finish increased the pace in brilliant fashion as Brodie shockingly kicked out of the Paradigm Shift at one, from there Moxley looked desperately to put Brodie away before he could rally, hammering at the head wound before cleverly bringing Brodie down with a Rear Naked Choke. I was surprised a lot of people didn’t like that finish, it kept Brodie strong that he didn’t tap out and a rear naked choke is a great finish, it has legitimacy since it ends many UFC fights, it was smart as well because Brodie was bleeding, so on top of blood loss making him light-headed Moxley cut off his blood flow to his head to knock him out. You also have to appreciate this incorporation to Moxley’s moveset, adding submission means there’s a new way he can win and it comes from the MMA background of Hager, like the Gotch Piledriver adopted from Minoru Suzuki (and I have to say Kaze ni Nare whenever I see him do it), seeing Moxley adapt his moveset is a nice little tidbit that helps Moxley feel more studied in his experiences. Also side bar, god bless Leva Bates. In the past two matches she kept in-character and rescued a laptop from destruction. Her wrestling does need a bit of fine tuning but her character work is undeniably great. Overall, like Jungle Boy vs MJF, it did help the match not to have interference, it was two people decking each other to see who’s best and Moxley proved himself more ferocious. Brodie showed himself as a main event quality wrestler who looked good with the title on, pushing through assault multiple times to only be eked into defeat (unlike Archer). Hopefully his story furthers in either respecting that even he must strengthen or lashing out because of his weakness.

Stadium Stampede Match Winner: The Elite, ‘Broken’ Matt Hardy & ‘Hangman’ Adam Page via Pinfall (One-Winged Angel on Sammy Guevara) Well, that was surely something. Not to be outdone by MITB, the storied rivalry of The fractured Elite, Hangman and Matt Hardy against the Inner Circle went hilariously wild and creative with the Stadium Stampede and I loved every single second of it. I’ll try to remember everything in the match to praise so here goes; the Inner Circle’s entrance like an NFL team was great fun, would’ve liked them to jump out of a paper symbol of the Inner Circle but it didn’t take away from the entertainment value. The Elite started without Hangman as they charged at the IC to meet in the middle, some fighting in the ring and some out. Hangman won the entrance game though by ominously strolling on horseback as Sammy Guevara quickly read between the lines and bolted, only to have shaken off Hangman to return for a missed shooting star press on Matt and then a very nearly uncaught one out of the ring too. Not to be outdone, Matt Jackson - broken ribs and all - pulled off a crisp moonsault off the goal post of the stadium while the Bucks tussled with ‘Le Sex Gods’, Santana and Ortiz tussled with Omega and Hardy and Hager went to search for Hangman, who had since dismounted after locating the lobby bar. Kenny had a rough double powerbomb table spot which was quickly cut to replay in order to mask either Santana and/or Ortiz losing his footing on the table and fell off it, but the cut allowed that moment to be skipped as the tag team focused on Hardy. Broken Brilliance would ensue as the team would try to drown Matt in a swimming pool(!?) that happened to be a pool of reincarnation, surfacing Team Extreme ‘Classic Matt’ and then ‘V1 Matt’ with graphics of ‘MATTer of Fact’ that Santana and Ortiz hilariously acknowledged with confusion, all the while an underwater cam would film Matt still happily doing his Team Extreme/V1 hand gestures while drowning. Damascus resurfaced from the pool to deal with the duo, sending both through a table, immobilizing Ortiz by ringing a bell with his head inside and taping him to a ‘chair of wheels’ and then getting his own back by locking Santana in an ice box. I will have to say, while this was great fun with Matt, I do worry a little for Santana and Ortiz. The former LAX were one of the best tag teams in the world leaving Impact and I had hoped they’d take the tag titles in this feud, but they’ve been kept from it like the Bucks have, between the Lucha Bros, SCU, Best Friends and rumours of FTR, the pool does have a lot of strong teams and it’s easy to get lost in the fold. But back to the action, Hager finds Hangman enjoying a whiskey, after a brief ceasefire to drink the bar brawl hits the right notes of great western tropes, including cue stick strikes, Hager dragging Hangman across the bar stand and table spots. Hager looked really strong here, taking on Page and the arriving Omega before being sent wobbly by multiple bottles of bubbly to the head, followed by a V-Trigger and a Buckshot Lariat over the bar as Kenny platformed for Page’s flip, a nice resolution as the tag team get on the same page, sharing a whiskey and a milk. Stories returned to the stadium as the Bucks and Jericho had their own mixture of creative spots and comedy; Matt did a ‘100 yard’ chain of Northern Lights Suplexes onto Guevara while Jericho demanded a VAR replay on a 2 count from Aubrey Edwards (I love how involved Aubrey gets as well), Le Champion also sent Nick through a Jaguars jaguar head’s mouth and did a Judas Effect on the team mascot while Matt was penalized after his touchdown dance referencing Alan Wright, leading to the ref being Superkicked. The Bucks then were able to isolate Jericho and lay him out with Nick doing a bonkers splash through a table starting from the steps of the stadium all the way down to the field, added insult to injury following as Hangman drove over Jericho with a chalk liner But the star of the match had to be Guevara. That kid is a literal star, his expressions and delusion is so on point as well, Spanish gods bless him and his 1000+ lives. After recovering from the 100 yard suplex run, he collapsed onto sprinklers which turned on, his mindset loopy as he started celebrating thinking he won, his face slowly dropping perfectly as the return of the Golf Kart gave him flashbacks of a past death of his in the Tag Street Fight on a previous Dynamite. Sammy was a little wiser and faster though, escaping into the seats out of the Kart’s reach, he slowly ended up being cornered by Matt and Kenny as the Bucks and Hangman watched below, Guevara fended off Matt, but was distracted by Vanguard-1′s reincarnation, NEO-1, for Kenny to daze him. The finish coming as Kenny One-Winged Angel’d Sammy off the ramp to a crash mat below at an incredible height, Aubrey needing to climb a ladder to count the win. Afterwards, the Elite celebrated with Matt and Hangman, hinting that Hangman has reconciled with the Elite as graphics appeared again on the stadium, closing out the PPV. Fantastically bonkers match, but once again this match had a great story in the terms of how the Inner Circle lost. For weeks, the IC ended consecutive Dynamites with the advantage due to their masterful use of the numbers game, but in the Stadium Stampede they are defeated because they split ranks, together they were strong but alone they were broken down, it’s only when the likes of Hager, Jericho and Guevara were isolated did the Inner Circle begin to lose the tide. There was also the recurring elements of the Icebox, Matt’s Broken character, Nick’s prior injury by the IC, Kenny bringing the broom and Hangman’s Cowboy Shit and strained relationship with Kenny and the Bucks, not to mention the many deaths and PTSD of Sammy Guevara. Say what you will about the Elite favouring spots, but you cannot deny that even in this Inner Circle feud, they have made stars out of Guevara and Hangman, it isn’t just self-indulgence. I will say though, I was surprised not to see FTR make a jump, we already had the IC and Elite have graphics on the Stadium so I hoped that the final one would be FTR, but maybe they’re saving it, after all, Blood and Guts is still waiting to be used.

Final Thoughts Outside of the matches itself it was unique that foley crowd sounds were added in to add to immersion, if it weren’t the Empty Arena era of course it would be a down but under the circumstances it made the PPV feel bigger having at least some white noise. The roster as a crowd continues to be good as we saw various personnel react but not steal any spotlight. We do have to appreciate that AEW acknowledges some shortcomings such as the TNT title’s unfinished model and the injuries to Fénix and Baker. Production issues should not have persisted as long as they have, and while it may not all be AEW’s fault due to COVID and the alternate streaming services they must be aware that this will continue to be treated as a blemish, unfortunately whatever AEW does will be compared to WWE - like the Women’s and TNT title have or the respective pushes to select wrestlers. While the current wrestlers are doing well and Dark is providing a platform for local talent - some like Jay, Suge D, Vance and Angels capturing the eye of AEW - it’s worth not forgetting the roster still there; Janela, Kiss, Swole, Avalon, Leva, and practically anyone in the crowd of shows should be able to compete right? All of personnel are tested for COVID so I do appreciate the attention to safety but from a fan’s perspective you do hope that talent get proper exposure. I will also say that I think we’re reaching a threshold of ‘Legends managers’ for the singles men’s roster, we’re fine for now but you don’t want to overdo it. But, overall Double or Nothing was a solid and enjoyable show, had some fun moments and strong matches. While I found the Archer finish and the Spears match disagreeable, it wasn’t too much of a down to ruin the show, the highs still outweighed the lows and there was still a good amount of variety, decent pacing due to good card positioning and nothing overstayed its welcome. We’ve got intriguing directions now too as we build to Fyter Fest; a feud between Moxley and Cage, Cody and the TNT title, fallout for Brodie and Archer’s losses, Best Friends in the tag title hunt, Britt Baker on promo and new champion Shida waiting for us in anticipation of the next show.

6 notes · View notes

amwritingmeta · 5 years

Text

JiB10

So, last year, for various reasons, I didn’t actually put down my experience of JiB, but are y’all ready to hear all about this year’s experiences and adventures?

Well, in condensed form. I mean, what is this - LiveJournal? (okay yeah kinda is but no not going into excruciating detail here just the best bits) (the choice cuts, as it were) (watch me go full butcher) (it’ll be entertaining I swear) :P

So, firstly, I’m a panel rat. I fucking love those panels. All the panels. It’s mainly why I get the Angel Pass, because the seats are so good and I’m all about them good seats, yeah?

I have friends who spend a whole lot of time in line for ops or for autos and I just… can’t… do that. Not when there’s talking happening and answering of questions and just that room being MAGIC, because the entire con feels so inclusive and filled with open-minded like-minded human beings who share in our love of this glorious show.

I started a JiB Log, but figured I’d get too distracted to actually update it regularly, because that’s what last year was like. When you’re not in a panel you’re either walking to grab something quick to eat (have to commend the little smoothie place at the airport, because they did good sandwiches and really good coffee at a reasonable price) or you’re heading to the hotel bar to get absolutely plast-… No, actually didn’t do that this year, so correction: or you’re heading to the hotel bar to see who’s there and catch up with people who have been to their ops and are still shaking with excitement.

(you can also comment on the wonderful imagination of strangers in the ladies’ room when you see them shaking with excitement and are dressed up in bridal gowns) (okay there was one lovely dressed up as a bride so maybe plural is the wrong way to go but the sentiment holds true) (JiBers - you are so fucking awesome and I LOVE YOU ALL)

Okay, so wanna know the most basic things I’ve learned about how to JiB? I mean… if you don’t, then stop reading, I guess, because imma tell ya. #fairwarning

Bring Snacks (you won’t regret it)

Bring Alcohol (you won’t regret it)

Good Footwear (you won’t regret it)

Clothes For Every Occasion (you may regret it if you overpack) (don’t overpack) (Google “packing tutorial by Jensen Ackles”) (worth it)

Choose Wisely (just general solid advice) (I mean, get your priorities straight) (panel rat or up close and personal kitty cat) (or both) (sidenote: I take it choosing to be both is quite stressful) (make sure that your stress sensors are up and that you don’t overdo it) (switching between rat and cat is bound to be internally messy) (okay that actually came out as not haha solid but actual solid advice so yeah) (be prepared that doing both is difficult!) (and having lots of ops and wanting to do all autos means probably missing a whole lot of panels for standing in line and waiting) (even the solo panels with the main players or - and I will question your sanity - the joint panels that close the weekend) (well not the very final panel) (nobody missed the J2M panel because all ops and autos had closed by then) (but yes prioritise wisely)

Be Open (because, no matter what, you are bound to meet someone you click with at this event) (most people) (actually every stranger I gave a throwaway comment to) (were so chill and happy to have a brief chat or share a moment with me) (so even if you’re traveling by yourself you are bound to feel embraced) *jazz hands rome magic*

Pinches of Salt (take everything you see and hear with healthy pinches of salt) (I briefly forgot about this on Monday morning and oh boy I could’ve saved myself a world of stupidity if I’d only remembered it yeah?)

MNC (get your sweet ass to the Monday Night Concert because both my years of JiBing it has been mind-blowing) (this year was better than last year honestly) (which I did not think could happen) (they are the bee’s bees and the bear’s bear) *throws all the love at them*

When it comes to impressions and memories made this particular trip, I feel like the whole week has been one long run of blessings. Sincerely, it’s been - oh what’s the word again? --> MAGIC.

I’m not going to go through all the boring personal moments of Holy Fuck *jazz hands rome magic* but I will just say that I think I stepped out of passport control with the widest smile, and it barely left my face for the entire weekend. The panels were wonderful this year. I’m still on a high. No, seriously. It’s almost a week later and I haven’t been hit by the JiB blues yet, and perhaps I won’t this year.

*prays I land a pass for next year* *GAH* *the nail-biting begins*

Confession time? (…when in Rome)

Confession 1 — I have such a crush on Rob. I mean, I’ve had it for years, but time to make it official, I guess. He just seems like the sweetest, loveliest human being and watching him sing is like… watching the stars light in the sky. He is such an amazing singer and performer. He made me cry. He sang Fare Thee Well and he made me cry at the Monday Night Concert.

*no I was NOT drunk* *though damn that G&T was strong* *oh btw the drinks in Rome are amazing and worth the money because extra alcoholic* *like damnnnnn* *just as an aside* *but also bring your own bourboun* *winks at @waywardliliana* *sup gurl?* *winks again* *winks some more* *can’t stop now* *licks lips* *yeah I know* *uncomfortable?* *licks lipssss againnnnn* *okay stopping now* *….or am I…….?*

Confession 2 — The panel-watching truly is a huge amount of fun. This year there were a lot of things said that made me want to jump up and down in my seat, because it gives me a lot of hope for season fifteen and Jensen provided most of it on the Saturday, and then Jared was pretty much agreeing with Jensen’s assessments of how the brothers’ journeys should end on the Sunday, and I was like GAH! *happy* And then Misha throws in his belief that there needs to be a sacrifice and tragedy and we all went NO! Also his fear that this family of ours will disperse and we all went NOOO! :) Anyway, these are all stated observations, but the confession is this:

As much as I love spending time in a space that is occupied by some of my favourite human beings on this planet (oh but they are), what makes JiB so truly, deeply, personally special is meeting up with friends who otherwise live too far away to see on the regular. All of us convening in this one place to share in this one great love is like electricity through your veins. It’s like… well, it’s like going to a place of worship, and I think you know what I mean. When you’re in a room with a group of peope who’s energy jives with yours, then your energies align, and resonate, and then — MAGIC.

It’s magical. It’s fucking magical. *jazz hands*

Shoutout to everyone I managed to see this year who have not yet been lip-licked at in this post (or real life), whether it was much too brief (so many of you were much too brief) or whether we spent quality time, seeing you all really made the trip sparkle:

@captainhaterade - who made such a fantastic and impromptu seat mate - thank you, Emily, for having me next to you for most of the weekend! :D

@eriquin - Meghan, it was so lovely to meet you and I’m thrilled you and Emily both enjoyed your first con, very happy I got to be a part of it! :)

@trickster-angel - my dear Chiara, it took us a few tries, but we finally got to sit down in the Corner (if you get to go next year then I think this may be where we’re all just convene from now on) (*suggestion*) *nobody puts us in a corner except us!* :P So good to meet you!

@inacatastrophicmind - Mara! We met much, much too briefly, but I’m so, so glad we did! See you around tumblr, my friend, and hopefully at JiB11! :)

@misskittyspuffy - aw man, Aurelie, we kept missing each other and I really wanted to sit down and have a proper lunch or dinner, but at least you and--

@assbuttboyfriends - hey, Claire, my dear, at least you and Aurelie aren’t that far away, right? Come visit me in London, I tell ya! :D Otherwise, proper plan-making for next year. xx

@bold-sartorial-statement - a brief hello was still a good hello! Hope you enjoyed the con! xx

@jenmdixon - it was good to say hello to you, my dear, and really hope you enjoyed the con (and didn’t die under those lights because it got HOT) (no wonder the actors are fan-addicts) :) xx

@purgatory-jar - Elena, it was, as ever, fantastic to see you and I’m stoked I got to have a proper lunch with you this time around. You have always been and will always be one of my absolute favourite artists in this fandom and, by extension, anywhere. Already a star, girl!

Shoutout to @northern-sparrow - I was sorry that I missed you at the bar, but there’s always next year. Hope you enjoyed the con and thanks for asking The Perfect Question. :D xx

Finally, @godshipsit -- Alessia, my friend, you are this calm, welcoming, very dear part of Rome and JiB for me (last year you supported me so much just by being there) and you are simply brilliant! *all the prettiest flowers at your door*

And to my two felines who are tumblring, but not very often: Laura and Steph, you wonderfuls! Thanks for all the laughs!!

*I now proceed to throw love at you all*

Confession 3 — I have a Favourite Moose. Nope, it’s not who you think it is. (girl, I almost put the hashtag on here but in the current climate) (I think I’d just better not) (especially since I wanna tag you) (hey, Moose!) (hey @natmoose!) (yes you!) (Nat-Blue!) :) #theconversationalists

Now, the highlights from this years con are too numerous for me to write them all down, really, but here’s a taster:

Ricky Whittle (the man is a genius comedian)

Rob talking about how his fandom experience has changed since he, for the first time, is seeing comments like “I hate your face” (the way he says “I hate your face”) (*giggle*) (also it’s such a question of tone because most of those “I hate your face”s are probably said with loads of love) (because Chuck going ultimate big bad toxic masculinity representative is fucking BRILLIANT) *love to hate his face*

Matt telling the airplane story

Alex reenacting different parts of the airplane story

Alex choosing Jasmine from Aladdin to put a spin on and making the twist that he’ll rob the wishes from Aladdin like -->

Alex: *sings* I can show you the world *interrupts* I’m just like yo, just give me these wishes. Don’t mess with me. How about this? I’ll show myself the world, okay?

I really, really very much like Alexander Calvert, okay?

Briana being distracted by herself on the stage monitor (she’s gorgeous and she knows it and is also open about how it costs her a lot of money and time and effort and how that’s not for everyone and real beauty runs so much deeper) (which is why she is the most gorgeous woman)

Jared telling us all to shut up during his Sunday morning solo panel (and basically all of his time on stage, but especially this half an hour of stage time, because my GOD he was in such a good mood)

Misha

Jensen going off on a minor rant about Game of Thrones S08E05 because yesssss

Jared doing that jump-and-a-skip at his panel with Misha

Jared’s panel with Misha

Jensen telling Misha he loves him and them hugging, only for Jensen to turn it into a joke and pretty effectively demonstrating how this is how they interact and they don’t mean anything by taking the piss out of each other because yesssss

sincerely, all the solo panels (especially Jensen’s, because he’s so sincere and open and honest about how seriously he takes his work and it’s gorgeous and inspiring and always has been and always will be and)

I mean, Jensen lying flat on his back on that stage and Misha saying You Sexy Bitch is very, very, very… overt. I side-eye. But with a whole lot of appreciation for the balls on those two. I’d venture that they know exactly what they’re doing, and I’ll forever wonder what the percentage is between performative and spur-of-the-moment. Sometimes I think you can tell, but… oh, they know what we like. Usually. :)

Jared bringing the dirty. I just love his filthy mind.

All of their filthy minds tbh.

Singing Carry On My Wayward Son in the hallway after the final panel is just… one of the best parts, and this year they all came out and high fived and gave hugs and… it was special

The Monday Night Concert surpassed last year’s and went on for nearly two hours and was deeply moving for many reasons and I wish to the good Heavens (…okay you know what I mean) that Jensen and Briana will record Shallow because I think their version beat the original (damn Briana’s voice is just… damn!) (and I can’t talk about Jensen singing please don’t make me talk about it) (…) (thank you)

Also Richard Speight Jr because Richard Speight Jr!!

Also just Jason Manns because Jason Manns!!

And The Four Cheese!!

See, there’s just tOO MuCH STuFF

And now it’s over and I’m still hopped up on the adrenaline and the happiness and Jensen talking about spreading happiness (I believe it was either during the opening panel with he and Jared on the Saturday or his solo panel later that afternoon) made me feel light as a feather, because he’s right. A healthy dose of real happiness builds you up from the inside out and makes you believe you’re worth it. All of it, yeah? And that, whatever comes your way, you can handle it. Oh, it can be a struggle, but if you only dare to be open, then good things, my peeps.

Good things do happen.

I hope to see you next year!!

#JiB10 #my stuff #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #alexander calvert #briana buckmaster #rob benedict #richard speight jr #jason manns #ricky whittle #jibcon #rome magic #<3

63 notes · View notes

moreenchiladasplease · 4 years

Note

You could always tag your art as #sophies art, that goes for your writing too! That way, whenever you want to see your own art or writing, it’ll be sorted out already. You could always tag your reblogs as reblogs too if you wanted to! But non the less, I feel like the reblogs show a part of you too and i find that to be quite nice :’>

i just meant that i wanted to find a space for my own content, to share with my followers who enjoy my content. which isn’t very many, but i guess that’s fair bcuz a lot of people probably followed me for certain fandom reblogs and not for any of my content. but i’m a creative ya know? and i want people to connect w my work, and i genuinely think people would like it. and maybe i’m being a bit pretentious or whatever but i’m proud of the things i make. and i’d like other people to like them too.

i just haven’t figured out exactly how to share all that on here. i feel like my blog is like the surface of me. and it could be a lot better if i had an organized system so people could find what they like and what they wanna see from me. i want it to be more of my own things that peope can appreciate.

honestly i’m probably overthinking this like i usually do. and will probably end up just going for it and posting all my shit without a system. it’s just scary i guess to think about putting the things i make on here and not getting any sort of response.

i guess i can always count on you to reblog my works dags ❤️ thanks for comforting me 🥺🥺 love you and miss you always bb

#i think i’m just scared about baring my soul ya know #especially my writing #i never really share my writing except the occasional poem #but prose... prose is different #i’ve never publicly shared prose #it’s terrifying #*sigh* anyway thanks dags i love u #frens #inbox

3 notes · View notes

blissedoutphil · 5 years

Text

Dan the Personal Assistant Part 5

Dan has to submit an application video to be an assistant for a company President, Mr. Lester. But what happens when he accidentally sends a wrong video?

4118 words of Dom!Phil, sub!dan, fluff and..angst? idek

~Part 4~

~Part 6~

or read on ao3!

Dan felt so restless. He would’ve gone to the club again, but from the incident the past week and how it just reminded him more of Phil, it clearly wasn’t a good idea.

But the problem is that everything was reminding him of Phil now. He didn’t know how he’d let this happen to himself. He tried watching an anime but stopped when he ended up imagining how much better it would be to watch it while curled up against Phil instead. He tried making a cup of coffee but accidentally made it with two sugars even though he prefers his with only one. The worst part of all of this was that he couldn’t even get off anymore because it just doesn’t feel as good without having Phil’s permission first.

He couldn’t believe that he was actually looking forward to going to work. After giving up trying to watch some shows, Dan had spent the rest of his Saturday mulling over the conversation Phil had with his colleague. He wished he could meet Phil’s old assistant and ask him about his experience. Did the old assistant also accidentally form a weird obsession over Phil? Perhaps he had quit to regain the ability to go about his daily life without having Phil on his mind 24/7.

The next morning Dan decided to go out for a walk to clear his mind. He stopped by the bank and let his jaw drop for a bit when he saw the ten grand newly deposited into his account. It didn’t feel like a month had gone by already, and he still somehow hadn’t believed that Phil would really pay him that much for just sitting around most of the time.

He tucked his hands into his coat pockets as he walked through a park, letting the breeze mess his hair up a little. He hadn’t been to the park this early in the morning since, well, ever. He used to sleep well into the afternoon on weekends, but he can’t even do that anymore since he’s so used to his weekday schedule already.

Dan sat on an unoccupied bench and decided to people-watch to hopefully keep his mind off his fucking boss. It was a nice day, the sun was out but the gentle breeze kept it cool. There were quite a few people in the park, many jogging and cycling, some just taking a stroll like him. Some people were laying on the grass having picnic brunches. He smiled as he watched some carefree kids running around playing tag.

Dan’s eyes laid upon a couple having a picnic. They were sat really close together, the girl almost on her partner’s lap. She was giggling as he tried feeding her a slice of cake. The guy looked absolutely smitten by her laugh. As she got the cake into her mouth, he managed to kiss her nose, causing her to laugh even more and swat his arm playfully before going for a proper kiss.

Usually Dan would look away in jealousy because he wished he could be happy and have cute dates with someone too. But as he turned away this time, he realised that he now had in mind who he wants that someone to be.

Dan groaned, startling an old lady walking by. He got up, deciding to leave the park, leave the happy kids and the happy people picnicking and the disgustingly cute couple on their stupid date that he wishes he could also have with Phil.

He walked past a coffee shop near the park. It always smelled so good, but it was a rather expensive little place. He always told himself that he’d try their coffee one day when he could finally afford it. He stopped in his tracks and decided that today would be that day.

The smell of coffee and cakes was even more enticing when he stepped in. The shop looked really cosy and there weren’t that many people inside, just a few enjoying a book with their coffee. Dan thought that this was actually a really nice way to spend a Sunday, rather than sleeping a hangover away after clubbing on a Saturday night. Perhaps his clubbing days should be replaced with coffee shop days. Especially since he could afford expensive coffee now.

He ordered his usual go-to drink to see if this place was really worth the price, or if it was just an expensive Starbucks. As he turned away from the counter and looked around to find a seat hidden in a corner where he could enjoy his drink without being seen by the world, his eyes landed on an all too familiar face.

Just as Dan thought, Am I really getting so bad that I’m hallucinating him right now?, Phil looked up from his laptop. His eyebrows shot up, mirroring the shock on Dan’s face.

But Phil’s shock was quickly replaced with a warm smile, and he beckoned Dan over to his table. Dan bit his lip, wondering if it was a good idea to sit with his boss, especially when he’s trying to not think about him. But Phil actually looked excited to see him, and he found his legs bringing him closer to Phil’s table before he could even think.

“H-hi Sir,” Dan said shyly.

“You’re not working right now, you don’t have to call me that!” Phil chuckled as he cleared his papers to let Dan place his coffee on the table.

Dan felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but at the same time he somehow felt it wrong to call Phil anything other than that.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Phil said, smiling as Dan sat down.

“Me neither, you come here often?” Dan answered.

“This is my favourite coffee place!” Phil nodded, adjusting his glasses that were slipping down his nose, “I love it here, and I usually spend my weekends here if I have work to do, it’s so conducive.”

“You gotta work on the weekends too?!” Dan asked incredulously.

“I lead a boring life, I know,” Phil said almost regrettably, “but I don’t hate my job, so I don’t mind. Do you come here often too?”

“It’s my first time here, actually,” Dan replied. He couldn’t believe the coffee shop he’d always wanted to try was Phil’s favourite shop. Of course it was.

“Oh! And you got the caramel macchiato? Good choice, that’s my usual drink,” Phil smiled as he looked at Dan’s drink.

It was then that Dan noticed that Phil also had a caramel macchiato. Of course, Dan thought. Again.

“This is my go-to drink when I try new coffee shops,” Dan explained, “to see if it’s any better than Starbucks.”

“It’s definitely better than Starbucks are you kidding me,” Phil said indignantly, as if comparing this place with Starbucks was the worst insult he ever heard.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Dan said before taking a sip.

Phil was eagerly looking at him, waiting for a reaction. The drink was really good, way better than a Starbucks. He could’ve maybe had a better first try of it if he didn’t have his boss staring at him with a “I told you so” look on his face.

“It is good,” Dan admitted, half wanting to smack the smug smile off Phil’s face and half wanting to just get up and leave before he fell further for that beautiful smile.

“Right?! I can’t go back to Starbucks ever since I tried this,” Phil chuckled.

“Yeah you’re right,” Dan smiled, ignoring how the butterflies were rioting in his stomach.

Being with Phil like this felt so different than being with him in the office. For one, Dan wasn’t naked. Phil didn’t have the dominant aura about him that he has in the office. And Phil never wore glasses at work, so this was the first time Dan saw him with them and he never thought it possible for Phil to look any better than he usually does already. Plus, they’ve only ever had one proper conversation that didn’t involve sex before, during that one lunch time. So this still felt new and weird to Dan. But it was a good weird.

Dan looked up and saw the barista smiling fondly at him and Phil from the counter. She seemed happy that Phil finally had company here. Dan wondered how many times she’d made a caramel macchiato for Phil, how many weekends she’d observed Phil sitting here alone. He wondered how many times he’d stopped by this place and inhaled the scent of coffee, only to walk past without realising that Phil was inside.

It was all getting a bit too much for Dan. He just wanted to take a walk to get his mind off of Phil and yet here he ended up with Phil right in front of him.

“Well I should uh...” Dan mumbled as he tried to get up, “don’t wanna bother you, I already do that enough when you’re actually at work.”

“You’re no bother, Dan! You can sit here, I don’t mind. In fact I’d love the company, it’ll be just like at the office. Without the, yknow,” Phil winked as he ended his sentence.

Dan knew he wasn’t working at the moment, but he found himself sitting back down anyway. He denied his mind telling him that he’d do anything Phil asked of him even without any pay.

“If you’re sure,” he said, to which Phil insisted that he’s sure.

Dan sat back and sipped on his coffee for a bit while Phil’s attention went back to his laptop.

“How long do you usually stay here?” He asked after a while.

“Depends on how much I have to do,” Phil replied, “I usually come here in the morning and go home at like 4 or 5.”

Dan thought his own life was dull, but Phil definitely beat him at that. He didn’t voice that though.

“Do you not wanna do other things, though? Relax a little on your weekends,” he replied instead.

“Of course I wish I could,” Phil smiled a little sadly.

Dan bit his lip, no wonder Phil needs a personal assistant in his office. He made a mental note to give Phil an amazing blowjob that he definitely deserves tomorrow.

“What about you? Headed anywhere after this?” Phil asked.

Dan had thought of leaving as soon as he was done with his coffee, but he suddenly found that he couldn’t bear to leave Phil be lonely here.

“Nahh, not today. I can keep ya company,” he said, leaning back into his seat.

Phil smiled and thanked him, looking genuinely appreciative. Dan wanted to kill all the butterflies inside him.

Dan felt comfortable just sitting there scrolling through his phone, listening to the taps of Phil’s keyboard. It was just like a normal work day, except he had clothes on and people around them. It was rather surreal how calm he felt now that he finally had Phil in front of him, compared to earlier in the park and the day before when he only had Phil in his mind.

Dan still hadn’t forgotten the incident with the other colleague on Friday though, and he decided to stay until Phil was done so that he could finally ask him about it.

“I can’t do anymore today,” Phil lamented, sighing when he saw that it was only half past 3.

“Was I being distracting?” Dan asked, trying to be cheeky but also apologetic if he really was a distraction from Phil’s work.

“Maybe,” Phil smirked, “but it’s not you, I’m just tired today.”

Dan felt like he had to help Phil relax, but he wasn’t working. So he just nodded sympathetically, not really knowing how to answer Phil.

“I guess I’m gonna head back home now,” Phil said, rubbing his tired eyes.

Dan was disappointed that yet again he didn’t manage to ask about the Friday incident.

“You got any dinner plans?” he asked on a whim.

“I was just gonna order some takeaway maybe,” Phil considered.

“Would you wanna, uh, have dinner together maybe?” Dan asked in a rush, surprised that he actually had the guts to ask.

Phil stared at Dan in what seemed like surprise too. Dan started to regret asking, because why on earth would Phil want to spend even more time with him when he probably just wanted to go home and rest for whatever little time left of the weekend he had before having to see him again tomorr-

“Yeah sure,” Phil smiled a little.

“O-okay,” Dan blinked, honestly not expecting that answer.

“You got anywhere in mind?” Phil asked as he packed his stuff.

“Not really...” Dan mumbled.

All the places he frequented were probably far too low-class for someone like Phil, who doesn’t even step into Starbucks anymore.

“How about that takeaway you were thinking of?” Dan suggested in the end.

Dan wasn’t sure where the line was between them outside of work and whether going to his boss’s home would be crossing it. But he remembered that they had a lot of favourite games and shows in common, and if he regarded Phil as just a friend then it could possibly be a fun and chill Sunday night.

But when Phil didn’t answer, Dan regretted his suggestion again and started rambling.

“I know it’s weird to ask to go to your home sorry about that maybe we could go-”

“No no it’s not weird, I’d like that actually,” Phil interrupted, “we can catch up on the new Game Of Thrones too.”

Phil drove them to his home, and Dan never felt more inadequate. And he’d been naked in an office for a whole month now.

He just wasn’t used to such a high-class life - he’d never even owned a car before - and Phil’s car was so luxurious that he felt out of place. Phil’s home was a whole other matter, too. It was the penthouse apartment in a building about a half hour ride from the coffeeshop.

Dan marvelled at the interior of Phil’s home. It had a minimalistic interior design, and glass walls similar to the office. It looked so clean, as if it was barely lived in.

But as Dan stepped further in and observed more, he realised that beyond the sleek design of the home, Phil’s endearing personality shone through in unexpected ways. There were googly eyes stickers on the switches, and a whole shelf of dvds, video games and even board games stacked up next to the television. Random knick-knacks like a dog bookend, a spiderman on the cord of the blinds and a dinosaur lamp all stood out and yet fit perfectly with the overall design of the home somehow. Dan thought about how this would’ve been the way he’d decorate his own place too if he had the money.

“Welcome to my home,” Phil proclaimed, “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll order some Chinese.”

Dan awkwardly sat by the edge of the couch, almost feeling like he had to take his clothes off or something. He realised he’d never been clothed when alone in a room with Phil besides his interview.

Phil set his tv up and they started watching the new season of Game of Thrones while waiting for their food. Dan kept stealing glances over at Phil, feeling a little anxious. But Phil didn’t seem awkward or tense, so Dan tried to just see the situation as being over at a friend’s, not at a crush’s or a boss’s home.

When dinner arrived and the show went on, Dan started relaxing more. He actually had fun; he’d never watched his favourite show with someone else before, and it was fun to be able to discuss the show with someone who was equally invested in it.

The takeaway was amazing, too, unlike any of the cheap ones Dan was used to. He finished his noodles so quickly that Phil joked that he should’ve ordered more. Dan just blushed, he hadn’t realised how hungry he was until he started eating, especially since he missed lunch to accompany Phil.

It soon got harder for Dan to concentrate on the show with Phil sitting so close to him. They had both ended up slouching, and their shoulders were almost brushing each other’s. Phil didn’t seem bothered, but Dan swore he could feel sparks every time his shoulder lightly bumped against him, or when his knee brushed his thigh.

“Is that a Starbucks cup on the table?!” Phil exclaimed.

Dan turned to him in shock at his sudden reaction, but was even more surprised when he realised just how close he was to Phil. The last time he could feel Phil’s breath on his face, they almost kissed. But of course Phil didn’t that time.

But Phil didn’t move away this time. Dan could see the twinkle of excitement in Phil’s eyes.

“Shame they don’t know what good caramel macchiato is,” Phil joked instead.

“Didn’t know they even had Starbucks,” Dan joked back, but he was rather distracted by the pretty lips right in front of him, so close to his.

Dan noticed that Phil followed his line of sight before he promptly turned back to the tv. Dan didn’t know if he’d imagined Phil stilling before turning away, but he did know that he should’ve seen that coming. Still, he felt a pang of disappointment. Once again he had to remind himself that Phil didn’t want any of that romantic shit. Phil just wanted company and a good fuck. He wasn’t paying Dan to be his boyfriend, damn it. In fact he wasn’t even paying Dan on weekends, it was his own damn fault for suggesting dinner together.

“Can’t believe they left that in,” Phil chuckled, sitting up straight with his eyes trained on the tv.

They didn’t really speak after that, Phil concentrated on the show and Dan let his mind wander. Dan didn’t pay attention to the show at all, instead wondering how the hell he got into this situation. His life was pathetic as it is without having an unrequited crush being added into the mix, thanks. And a crush on his boss of all people. Whom he worked for as a personal slut. What is his life.

Dan wondered if in another universe, they’d find each other in different circumstances and they’d be good friends. Or more than friends. But he’d take their current unusual arrangement over nothing.

When the episode was over, Phil spoke up first. "Thanks for accompanying me today, even though you’re not being paid.”

“It’s alright, I would’ve been alone anyways. It was fun hanging out,” Dan said honestly.

“I’m glad you enjoyed dinner, and didn’t think this would be weird or whatever,” Phil smiled.

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked when Dan didn’t continue the conversation.

“Does the office think it’s weird though?” Dan asked belatedly, surprising himself again with the way he was running his mouth today.

Phil looked puzzled for about two seconds before masking on a neutral expression.

“No I’ve told you, you weren’t the first,” Phil answered slowly, careful with his words.

“Then why was that guy so worked up on Friday?” once Dan started with his questions, he wouldn’t stop.

Phil sighed a little. He’d hoped that Dan would forget that little incident by now.

“Don’t worry about anything, okay? You only work for me, you don’t have to concern yourself over others outside our room.”

“I just wanna know why he seemed upset that you got a new...assistant,” Dan pressed. It had been eating him up all weekend, and he took advantage of this moment to say what he wanted to while he wasn’t serving Phil.

“Because clearly the first one didn’t work out so he was just concerned that things might repeat again,” Phil replied thinly, not liking how Dan was prodding on this topic.

Dan’s face softened. Whatever the first assistant did wrong, he wanted to be sure that he won’t do it. He wouldn’t want to repeat those mistakes for Phil’s sake. He just needed to know what the mistakes were in the first place, but he could sense that Phil was almost done having this conversation already.

“I’ll make sure that this will work out for however long you need me,” he assured Phil.

Phil’s guarded stance seemed to wilt a little at that. He smiled a small, sad smile, as if he was touched that Dan was so willing to stay.

“I promise things won’t repeat if I know what...things...I should avoid doing,” Dan worded his sentence carefully, leaving it open for Phil to discuss instead of forcefully asking him about his former assistant.

“Just keep up with what you’ve been doing and how you’ve been behaving and you’re fine. You’re a good boy,” Phil answered.

Dan melted at the last sentence. He blushed as he murmured out a thanks. He was so easy to distract, but he wanted Phil to stay on topic.

“But why didn’t the first one work out?” Dan asked again, more direct this time.

Phil was keeping his expression well guarded, Dan wasn’t sure if he was sad or angry. But his answer just confused Dan even more.

“Things don’t always go as planned, I guess, and we just have to learn that that’s life. Accept it and move on.”

“Did he hurt you? Is that why your colleague was so concerned?”

“There are some things you don’t need to know and you just have to accept that, Daniel,” Phil snapped.

Dan sat back a little, not expecting Phil to raise his voice or show his dominant side.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” he uttered, already feeling ready to accept a punishment for speaking out of line even though he knew he wasn’t working.

Phil sighed again. Half of him did feel like just going full Dom to stop this conversation, and he could see that Dan was already starting to be submissive just from his tiny outburst. But he can’t do that. He can’t take advantage of Dan like that when he wasn’t working for him right now.

“I already told you, you don’t have to call me that today.”

Dan just bit his lip and stared at his hands, trying to think of how not to end the good day on a bad note, but coming up with nothing.

“Look, I’m sorry Dan. But like I said, you don’t have to concern yourself with things that don’t concern you, alright? If there is a need for you to know something, I’d tell you. Just do what you gotta do, which is what I tell you to. And I’m telling you to stop worrying over nothing.”

It didn’t seem like nothing to Dan, and he still wasn’t convinced that Phil’s conversation with his colleague on Friday didn’t concern him. But he didn’t want to frustrate Phil any further, so he decided that it was enough for tonight and nodded in agreement.

“Okay. Let’s just forget this, I didn’t mean to ruin the fun we’ve been having,” Dan said guiltily.

“It’s alright, I understand. I did have fun anyway, it was nice hanging out with you as a pal rather than an assistant,” Phil chuckled a little.

“I could always be in your office as a pal,” Dan joked, trying to lift the mood back up.

“Nahh I still want my good boy in the office,” Phil smirked, getting up.

Dan tried his best not to look too flustered by that statement as he followed Phil to the door.

“Goodnight, and don’t be late tomorrow!” Phil warned with a cheeky smile before closing the door behind Dan.

Dan stared at the door for a while, in disbelief that he’d just spent almost the entire day with Phil. He’d like to call it a date, except his feelings were definitely not being reciprocated. Plus he almost ruined it towards the end. His curiosity about Phil’s past assistant only increased after that conversation, but he just had to listen to Phil and accept that he didn’t have to know everything.

He mulled over the day’s events as he headed home. Other than that conversation and the almost-kiss again, he did have fun with Phil. Even the moments when they weren’t talking and were just being comfortable in each other’s presence. Sure it wasn’t a cute picnic with cake and sitting in each other’s laps giggling about nothing, but it was still better than spending the day alone doing nothing but thinking about him.

Dan hated to admit it and he’d been in denial for a while, but he was well and truly falling for his boss.

~Part 6~

tbh wanted to have smut in this chapter but idk what happened I somehow ended up with this. I hope you liked it, I know non-smut isn’t my forte lol so I was scared they’ll seem out of character compared to the previous chapters but I tried :x

#phan fic #phan #dan the personal assistant #My fic #Phanfic

44 notes · View notes