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vortex-detected · 11 months

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Under the Stars

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: lee minho x gn!reader 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst. like. so much. but they make up at the end (kinda) so its okay. 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 900+ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: cursing. angst. im kinda projecting here but oh well. minhos kind of a idiot. jisung makes an appearance (very brief, but needa a warning in itself) 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: you try to reconnect with minho after an argument you guys had. but what happens when he just ghosts you out of nowhere?

A/N: its been.. forever since ive wrote. hello? im sorry it took me so long. ive been in a horrific writers block, but in honor of skz's new comeback and collision having me on a chokehold, you get this. this song is heavily inspired by collision, as its my favorite from the album. this was rushed and is probably really bad, but i kinda liked how it turned out. its also not edited so sorry for any mistakes. anyway stream 5 star and have a good day/night loves!! <3

“Minho..?” You wait for a split second, expecting a response. But you quickly realize it’s a voicemail again. “It’s… It’s [Y/N]. I know we left off on the wrong foot. The… very wrong foot. I just… needed space. And a lot of it. What you had said back there was hurtful, but I’m willing to forgive you, Minho. You just have to pick up. That’s all you have to do,” your breath hitches, you let out a sigh, trying not to cry. “I… really miss you, Minho. I miss everything about you..” a sob can be heard over the phone. “J-Just call me back… o-or text me back. Goodbye, Minho.” With that, you hung up the phone. Waiting for him to listen to the voice message.

And the voice message he heard. He heard all of the ones you left. It was eating him alive. The boys did their best to reconnect you two, but Minho refused. Many. Many times. “Jisung, you know I just… I don’t deserve them after what I said-” “Dude, you realize they’re willing to forgive you… right?” Jisung adds, “Just… call them back. Once. Explain what went through your head.” At that, Minho rolls his eyes. “So what, ‘Hey, [Y/N]. I’m sorry for calling you a clingy asshole and someone who disrespected my boundaries for their own pleasure because-’ you get the point, Jisung.” “But you didn’t mean it… did you?” Jisung asks. “No of course not!” he explains. “Problem solved! See? I’m so good at relationship advice.”

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That was two months ago. Two. Long. Months. It affected Minho a lot. He almost called you one day, but decided against it. His insecurities finally eat him up. He had to do something before it got worse. He was a fucking idiot and he knew it. You kept leaving voice messages for him, and then, it hit him.

You really did want to talk to him.

It took him two months of voice messages piling up, waiting for the day you called him baby again. Like you always did. He missed your voice. And not over the phone. He breathes in deeply as he dials your number. Waiting for you to pick up.

Except… you never did. Now it’s time for Minho to leave the voice messages. “[Y/N]... I’m such a fucking idiot-” He laughs at himself. “I… was too scared to call. Thinking you didn’t want to talk to me ever again. I thought all of these voice messages were stupid fucking pranks. That you were… fucking with me. I was stupid to call you what I did. I know you were just worrying about me and I’m.. really fucking sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long, but please… I want to try again. I’ve been going insane without you.” he sniffles slightly, not really wanting to have a heart to heart over the phone. “Can… Can you meet me at our star gazing spot..? We can talk it out under the stars.”

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Minho waits under your tree. Our tree, you called it. He doesn’t want to taint it as much as hes already tainting it. He’s been there for a good while now. Maybe you didn’t get his message. Had you blocked him? Maybe you chose to ignore it. His thoughts are cut off by a soft “M-Minho…?” He whips around to the sound to see you behind the tree. You smile widely at him, but it's a sad smile. He smiles back the same smile. “Hi…”

You don’t give him enough to talk as you wrap your arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. “D-Don’t you… ever. fucking ghost me again-” He rubs your back as you cry onto his shoulder. “I-... I won’t. I’m sorry, love.” He realized what he said, ready to apologize, when he hears you giggle. “I missed that… I missed you, Minho.” you say, calming down as he rubs your back. “I missed you too…”

You let go of him, sitting in front of him. “I’m glad you finally decided to come out. I’ve… I’ve been here ever since the break. I come here everyday.” you confess. Minho stares at you wide eyed, blinking a couple of times. “Really? So I could’ve just gone here and you would’ve been here?” You nod your head. “God, I’m such an idiot.” he shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s okay, baby. We all have those moments-” His head perks up at that. “God how long I’ve waited for you to call me that… but I don’t deserve it. Not yet.” he stands up. “M-Min… Don’t leave-”

He never planned on leaving. “[Y/N]. I’m so sorry-... I should’ve never said anything I said that night. I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just so fucking stressed and I took it out on the first thing that tipped me over the edge. And… I guess it was you. I don’t really remember what you did, but I’m just…” he holds your hands in his, as he stares at you in the eyes. “I’m so. Fucking sorry. I don’t want to… I don’t want to be the one to destroy our relationship. I-... I can’t. I’d feel like shit if I truly did. Let me make it up to you… Let me start fresh, okay?” He stares at you, hoping you would take his apology.

“I would love that, Minho.”

#lee know fanfic #stray kids x reader #lee know x reader #lee know x you #lee know angst #stray kids angst #skz x reader #im sorry #idk why i did this lol #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

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bipirate · 4 months

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favourite things: 2023 edition

last year i made one of these and i thought it'd be fun to make another one. i have a notion spreadsheet with all the media i watch/read/play throughout the year (not just things that came out this year!) and i give them ratings. these are the highs (and some of the lows) of 2023 (not in order).

Games

Tunic - such a great and beautiful game that i do not want to spoil. seriously, play it. if you like zelda, exploration, solving puzzles, and cute little foxes, then it's a must

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - what can i say, i love a zelda

Portal 2 - just an even more excellent sequel to an excellent game

Alice in Borderland - i didn't know what to expect at first but it was excellent and highly addictive

Not Me - my introduction to thai BL (for better and also definitely for worse lol). anyway this show changed my brain chemistry. it has everything: gays, a twin switch situation, leftism, arson, rooftop kiss... you know

Bad Buddy - speaking of rooftop kisses...... if you know you know. anyway this is also a thai BL and it's still rotating in my brain. i rewatched it almost immediately, that's how good it was

The King's Affection - cheesy historical kdrama about a crown prince who is secretly a woman, with a swoon-worthy romance and political intrigue. this one's for the bisexuals (after all, the male love interest falls in love with the prince before he finds out it's a woman)

Vinland Saga - this anime fucking wrecked me. season 2 had me crying every single episode. thorfinn is my new child and i WILL name my future cat after him

The Devil Judge - a kdrama about a dystopian south korea with a fucked up justice system. anyway kang yohan character of all time. oh and also toxic homosexuality (affectionate)

Books

The Poppy War trilogy by R. F. Kuang - what an excellent series to get me back into fantasy series. it was not without faults, but i was hooked anyway

Babel by R. F. Kuang - i read this brick in 5 days straight. it's beautifully written and has such interesting things to say about language and colonialism. again, it has flaws but i wasn't bothered, i was obsessed with this book

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon - i didn't realise how much i missed high fantasy until i read this. it has lesbians, dragons, a bitter old homosexual, magic, and did i mention dragons and lesbians?

He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan - the sequel to She Who Became the Sun, my favourite book of last year. this sequel fucking DELIVERED. i went insane about it multiple times. it's a must read

Graphic novels/manga

Witch Hat Atelier by Kamome Shirahama - i started this manga 2 years ago, but since it's still ongoing and I've read new chapters this year, it counts for this year as well

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run by Hirohiko Araki - not finished with it yet but it is truly as good as everyone says it is

The Adventure Zone: The Eleventh Hour by the McElroys and Carey Pietsch - i know not everyone likes the taz comics, but i do, i think theyre great adaptations, and this one looked incredible

Movies

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse - not as good as the first one, but still really good. beautifully animated and extremely entertaining

Bonus: the lowest of the low, titles that earned my 'sucked shit' rating

Theory of Love - amazing that out of the 3 thai BLs ive watched, 2 managed to make it on my favourites list, and one of them was some of the worst television i've ever seen

Where the Crawdads Sing - read the book for book club last year, we all hated it, and now we decided to watch the movie for a laugh. it also sucked

#special shoutout to boys planet (the kpop variety show) which i rated both 'bad' and 'good' at the same time.#i didnt actually watch many movies this year oops #if only interview w the vampire was available to watch in my country otherwise i'd have watched it already #and itd probably be on the list. next year i'll try to watch it somehow

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sewercentipede · 4 months

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dosed b 0.275mg (iv) @ 7:40pm,, after 4mg kpin (sl) at 7:15pm

also LMAO I forgot that I didnt realize there was some ketamine in the syringe too when I dosed, completely unintentional result of switching syringes cuz the first one I used the needle was bent & I didn’t realize until after I filled it. I didn’t even know I still had ket. anyway idk the dose amount but it was enough for a quick k-hole(altho it doesn’t take much to k-hole thru that ROA)

anyway i was worried shooting b would make things worse if i had c diff so I wasn’t sure if I should do it so I dosed it smaller than usual (like not enough to nod/get high or anything) but it gave me complete relief from everything immediately. if itd been c diff I’d had have tons of abdominal pain afterward/continuously but i didn’t, so it ruled that out thannnk god

so it probably was the mag citrate yesterday + the linzess today + the food i ate the other day (im starting to wonder if i have IBS on top of crohns, irdk tho bc it could’ve just been crohns by itself in response to the food and the mag cit/linzess, bc ive been having acute oral/gum inflammation). think i rly needed just smth to slow my guts down and give me pain relief for the intestinal spasms and the throat ache and the facial skin pain/sensitivity bc all of it at once was too much for my body to bear and causing a positive feedback loop of pain in every aspect

not totally ruling out mild wd but i am not as worried about that being the cause bc i didn’t have any runny nose or malaise or sweating which are usually the first indicators of that, or body aches or nausea or fever of any kind, plus I space my doses out pretty well to avoid wd altogether

the rly bad noise-related pain went away immediately too and Im 99% certain I was only experiencing that bc the amount pain/physical stress I was having.. too much of that will cause external stimuli to be unbearable and audio stimuli is the always the worst/first to hurt in those circumstances. i think the kpin definitely helped w that aspect as well (even tho it made me cry a lot for like 5 mins b4 dosing the b shot, but that was rly just like the emotional stress being released kind of thing if that makes sense)

#drugs #im tired now I should go to sleep…#I guess I will see how it goes tomorrow bc iv bupe doesn’t last super long in terms of antidiaerheal effect

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blookmallow · 6 months

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reviewing spirit animatronics for 2023

i almost forgot again. but here we are

apparently the website doesnt display animatronics that are sold out so im trying to dig for them... this isnt a complete list im doin my best

anyway lets GOooooooo

Gourdo

im gonna start with my favorite look at this silly little guy. something about this design is just incredibly endearing to me and the stringy guts look pretty good in motion too. hes cute and i like him. his description says he was a guy who kept scaring everybody all the time and one day he scared an old lady who turned out to be a witch so she turned him into a pumpkin. and now hes stuck like this bc he could not behave himself. i love gourdo i want him 10/10

Eternal Rest

its a tombstone. theres a sad crying face and it turns into a skull face and screams at you. thats... thats it. it looks fine but its just really basic, this is doing nothing for me

3/10

Poor George

this guy was at my local store for a while. hes pretty fun, he flips around and his face changes. i like his funky stripes. makeup design looks extremely art the clown which is just making me wish they had him instead

its at least an attempt at a unique design. but according to his description, the story here is he was just a nice regular clown who had a terrible accident but somehow survived. you can see his bloody torso when he turns. this isn't a zombie clown monster, this is a man who desperately needs medical assistance

also no explanation for why he has two faces. he doesn't appear to be intentionally meant to be conjoined twins or something so if hes supposed to just be a regular guy im not sure whats going on there

5/10

they also came out with another killer klowns animatronic this year too, hes BIG but i dont have much to say about that one other than it looks good glad to see the klown rep increasing

i guess ill also mention here that they have a mars attacks alien figure now too, which doesn't really do much, it just moves its head a little but the lighting is cool and the design looks really good and seeing it inspired me to go watch the movie, so. shrugs. i like him

Heckles the Clown

here we have i think the first Sad Clown spirit animatronic? i cant think of any others ive seen. he kind of has creepy uncle energy but isn't really scary. hes just sad. he is a pathetic shell of a man weakly trying to sell his balloons and i just kind of feel bad for him. i did not notice in the store that his balloon actually has a light-up face in it which is cool. apparently according to his description hes actually using poison gas in his balloons which is a neat idea but is extremely unclear from the animatronic itself, i never would've known that if i hadn't read the description, so,

his face sculpt looks pretty good though. hes a pretty well designed figure i just think his whole deal is unclear and just makes me feel bad for him. help this man

6/10

Stilts

i do love a scary clown but all of these are starting to look pretty much the same to me. the colors are visually striking (i like the use of the blue accents especially) and i like the bloody bowling pins but at this point it's just kinda like, yep, that's another tall spooky clown. great for all your tall spooky clown needs but its not really that memorable. 4/10

Death Stalker

THIS thing however, looks sick as FUCK and i really want to see it in person. i dont know what the fuck that is. i love it. it breathes smoke and has way too many teeth. the description offhand mentions it lives behind an abandoned doll factory for no apparent reason. i love this thing 11/10

i think it might be built from the same body structure as their krampus figure that i also really liked

The Black Heart

ok i dont know about anyone else but i just find this one extremely confusing all around

he gives off protective dom skeleton boyfriend vibes. in the store i saw this and figured the woman was his victim and hes showing us his kill to threaten us, but it also looks like he's protecting her, so i didn't really get what was going on. the description says she tried to do some weird ritual ive never heard of where you lay in a grave and your true love will arrive to kiss you and wake you up snow white style at midnight, but instead she ended up with this guy as her "master" but it also refers to him as her "partner"

"the fuck did you just say about my wife"

so i guess they have some kind of bdsm relationship going on. which, y'know, if she's into that, id say good for her, but she doesn't move at all, she appears to be dead or unconscious. she also looks like she's emerging from his waist or something bc like, i guess they made her skirt the same color to hide that she's there until he reveals her, but i didnt even realize she had a lower body at all,

anyway the design is really confusing to look at and i don't really understand what their whole deal is. the faces look really good though. 5/10

Leatherface

leatherface in the HOUSE!!! i dont really have a lot to say here other than i think he looks great and i want you all to see him. 7/10

Darling Dolly

i fucking love this thing look at that. salad fingers doll monstrosity what the fuck is going on here. there was one in our store very briefly but it wasn't working and disappeared pretty quickly which just made it even weirder. this has a fantastic "what the FUCK IS THAT" factor and i just wish it had better functionality bc i was really excited to find out what it does and it turns out it pretty much just screams at you. i feel like a slower, creeping movement with spidery fingers and whispering sounds would have been more effective. its definitely scary though. i want more wild designs like this i love this thing

the backstory is... a little girl dug up a cursed doll in the yard and her mother tried to bury it back but got struck by lightning and became nightmareishly fused together with the evil doll which just. doesn't make sense to me i feel like trying to create an explanation for this figure is actively a detriment to it i like it better just as a Horrible Inexplicable Demon

9/10 could have been executed better but great design

The Cauldroness

pretty much just your standard witch. i like the way she's posed, this figure is more interesting to look at than a lot of the standing ones. the movement in her hands looks pretty good. i like her face. she also looks like salad fingers. maybe im just seeing it bc im trying so so hard to manifest him into existence even though i know they'll never make one sfjkg

anyway this is simple but i think it works well, 5/10

Dagger Mike

look at this ridiculous little gremlin. his name's dagger mike. hes got knives. his torso makes no sense. i love you dagger mike 6/10 hes not good but he makes me laugh and i like him

i do like the vintage clown look here though. i just think his body looks stupid and his existence is very funny to me in a way i cant articulate

Floating Spirit

its a ghost. it goes ooooo. 10/10

#spirit halloween #halloween #spirit halloween 2023

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melloncreamsoda · 2 years

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Second years when you get a bad haircut

TW/CW: crack, GN!Reader, headcanons

extra; ive been crying over mine for two days there's no reason my hairdresser fucked uo such a sinple style bro crying emoji and i will also find any excuse to write about the octotrio anyway i hope u enjoy!!

You wanted to change up your current hairstyle, it was simple really– just a little off what you already had. But no! The hairdresser just had to find some way to fuck the entire thing up. You really thought that everything would be different, especially in another universe; but at this point you can't tell if you aren't being clear enough, or it’s truly in the veins of a hairdresser to do everything wrong. Your eyes are puffy from crying all night but time isn’t going to stop for you. You wear a hoodie over your uniform, as well as a hat underneath– you were not going to take any chances, especially being in a school full of rowdy boys who know no limits.

Riddle Rosehearts

Homeboy quite literally does not give a fuck, or so it seems.

Riddle is sheltered, and has not seen the many of the wonders of the world. So seeing your hair in such an eyesore of a state– he had to take 5.

But of course he is a gentleman and definitely isn’t one to disregard your feelings.

Need a better coverup in place of your hat? He has a shitload and will not hesitate to spend money if necessary.

“It’s not as bad as you think I prom- What do you mean my face is red!?”

Ruggie Bucchi

He’s seen worse, from where he’s from.

A little bad haircut won’t change how he sees you anyway, even if he might be teasing about it and snicker while looking at you from time to time.

It’s all in good fun though… unless you’re sensitive, but he can’t promise he’ll put a complete stop to it! He just wants to lighten the mood, I promise.

Hair grows back eventually, right? Don’t let one shitty haircut ruin your entire week.

“...Anyway have I told you about that one time where I was getting chased by stallholders and accidentally ripped a chunk of my hair off? Yeah, had a bald spot for months.”

Azul Ashengrotto

Wanna sign your life away to him?

Is what he’s implying when he says that “he makes a mean hairstylist.”

Well unless he’s feeling nice, he might just offer to cover your absences from school and write notes for what you missed out on.

But there’s only a slim chance that he will not be asking for payment after this whole phase passes.

Azul will try to reassure you, though he isn’t the best at it.

“It’s… unique..! Some people would love your hairstyle. Eh- to have? Well…”

Floyd Leech

He knows no mercy.

He is going to rip your hood off or either snatch your hat and put it in highest corners he knows you won't be able to reach.

However, even if you do, by chance, get it back, your joy will only be short lived. He can easily sneak up on someone and running away will be no big deal with those long legs of his.

One upside to this, is that he doesn’t bother to snap any shots of your very vulnerable state; reason being that he enjoys watching the raw, sheer terror on your face whenever you sense his presence nearby.

As sadistic and twisted– in its own way– as it is, seeing his blinding smile and hearing his boyish laugh can’t help but make you smile and have fun alongside him.

So maybe the bad haircut isn’t that bad after all.

“Shrimpy! Catch me if you can… If you feel like touring the whole school of your fresh cut, heheh!”

Jade Leech

He’s trying his best to reassure you that you’re being much too harsh on yourself, I promise… Even if that means he’s trying his best to bite back a grin whenever you bring it up.

It’s not that you look bad, it’s just the way that you’re so obsessed with it reminds him of him when he was younger– once he got a bad haircut and cried about it for a week.

He does try to steer your attention away from the bad haircut to the best of his abilities; perhaps it’s the feeling of dejavu that he wants nothing more than to protect you from self doubt.

You’re his wittle bittwle precious gemstone and will make sure that you never hear of a bad haircut ever again!

“It’s alright Dear, I promise. I’ll take you to a much better, extravagant salon. Unless you are able to put your trust in my unrefined talent? Fufufu…”

Kalim Al-Asim

In all honesty, he doesn’t see an issue with it. He just can’t understand why you think it’s so horrible.

But if you really insist and won’t shut up about it, he’ll snag this opportunity to introduce you some of the most glamorous or simple headpieces back from his hometown!

He has everything to cater to your wants and needs, and you best expect that he milk every opportunity, especially for his beloved.

Even if it means giving Jamil more work to prevent him from overspending… but hey! It's the thought that counts

“Hey hey! Look at this, I think it's really gonna help to accentuate your features! Of course it’ll cover your hair… :(“

Jamil Viper

He doesn’t really care, or is let alone even free enough to notice.

But if you make enough noise about it, he might not even bat an eye towards it.

He assures you that you look fine, and might even place a chaste kiss on your cheek to get you to shut up if you whine too much about it.

Maybe he’ll try to fix it, maybe he won’t, perhaps he’ll even spare you a glance for a good heart chuckle every once in a while.

“Please stop making such a mes- FINE you have my attention.”

Silver

Does not care now, and I don't think he ever will.

Hair will grow back, but if you really want, you could hide under his shirt or something…

He’s practically half asleep all the time, so your hair will be back to normal before he even knows it.

He’ll draw his sword to protect you from any potential teasing if you really dislike it, granted that he’s fully awake at the time.

“Just lie down for a bit, I don't like seeing a frown on such a pretty face.”

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst fluff #riddle rosehearts #kalim al asim #jamil viper #floyd leech #ruggie bucchi #jade leech #azul ashengrotto #twst silver #twst headcanons #melona.docx

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boxwinebaddie · 7 months

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Uh oh it’s my gremlin ass in your inbox again, anyway I had a thot.

Raven!Stan and Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes by FOB

Specifically the line “I’d promise you anything for another shot at life”

Uhhhhhhh that is all queen ty for ur time (ily take care of urself you deserve all the happiness in the realm)

oh noooooooo riley in my ask box agaiiiiiiiiin how awful how horrible

sahdsadlkda AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

listen bitch!!!! i sprinted to answer this ask because it singlehandedly threw me into a fallout boy renaissance oh my god!

this is really long i went on a very crazy tangent and started badly describing a v dramatic v upsetting flashback u can all skip this lmao

raven!stan is soooooo disloyal order of the water buffaloes like okay "i'd promise you anything for another shot at life" is so AAAA like my son was robbed of everything i just! urGH! give my boy his life back!!!

also "detox just to retox"?????? is so real..."imperfect boys with their perfect boys // nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy" ISSSSSS SOOOOO CRIMSON DAWN CODED IM!!!!

also also ALSO "i'm half doomed and you're semi sweet" is so stan and kyle in every fucking universe gonna rip the skin off my face

okay...let me just...it's actually so funny that you sent me this about fallout boy because when i was developing a lot of ravenstan's backstory and gen rockstar stuff i religiously listened to 27 by fob.

if home is where the heart is then were all just fucked!!!! I WANT IT SO BAD I SHOOT THE SUNSHINE INTO MY VEINS I CANT REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS!!! my mind is a safe and if i keep it then we all get rich!!! DOING LINES OF DUST AND SWEAT OFF LAST NIGHTS STAGE JUST TO FEEL LIKE YOOOOOU!!! AAAAA

like raven is SO 27 by fob skhdlahd in this essay i will!

so this is weird lore backstory but bear with me, okay?

kenny and stan are close in all my fics which is like my favorite thing ever but they are SUPER CLOSE IN RM! ive said this like 5 bajillion times but i love them their dynamic its special and very dear to me ok

and i feel like they were really drunk one time at 18 just laying on the floor...and raven is just like "do you ever think about death?" which is hilarious because kenny is immortal so theyre just like "yeah...all the time" *drags their cigarette with a sad knowing smile :'((((*

and stans like "me too" *vodka shot* "do you ever think about when you're gonna die...like if you could choose" and kenny is like jfc rae bleak much but is probably like "idk dunno ill go when the universe gets bored of me...i could go anytime because i do whatever i want and live everyday like its my last....think of it like this: we're all stuck here and everyone's watching so you might as well give them a good show, right??? *long cigarette drag again*...but what about you?"

and raven just says "27." then explains that all the biggest rockstars and greatest musicians die at 27 and if he could choose he'd join the 27 club bc at least then his death would mean something. AAA IM

ok fuck suicide attempt tw AAAA I HATE IT HERE :/ </3

this is a lot im so sorry its dramatique af but also pls know if i write it as a flashback later i will be crying & throwing up the whole time

flash forward i think its like ravens 21st birthday and everyone is inside getting trashed on his birthday doing coke being degenerates breaking shit & d-list celebrity nobodies are flexing hard that they're at his big extravagant bday party aka the event of the year...but no one even knows hes Missing!!!!!!! NO! ONE! FUCKING!!!! CARES!!!!!!!!!

except kenny who just finds him on the roof of that big swanky building or even like the water generator so high up that its genuinely fucking terrifying and its really really bad like hes just on the edge like crying and laughing and swaying holding a big ass bottle of expensive champagne with his FACE on it slurring and singing happy birthday to himself and its the SADDEST most AWFUL sound in the world & uGH i want to cry my baby mY BABY!!!! MY!!!! BABY!!!!!!! :(((((

and kenny is PANICKING but theyre trying to be normal like theyre talking to someone with a hostage but the person holding the hostage is themselves WHICH IS SOOOOO UUUGH!!! and theyre like "raven raven i need you to get down...i hate my birthday too...you're having a bad night...just a bad night...its almost over ok its almost over baby...lets get out of here okay? but i need you to get DO--"

and hes just like "NO!!!! NO!!!!! you dont get it you dont FUCKING get it!!! it doesnt get better it gets fucking WORSE every day is bad bad bad BAD!!! it never stops IT NEVER ENDS!!!"

which is so sad and also ironic bc kenny is like "believe me I. Know." LIKE IMMORTAL KENNY LIVES THE WORST DAY OF THEIR LIFE EVERY DAY and is just like "but you Dont want to do this, trust me"

and raven is just like shaking and screaming snot and tears and champagne and eyeliner and blood in his mouth like "no i think i do I THINK I FUCKING DO!!!! you're the one who said if everyones watching might as well give them a good show right?! RIGHT?!"

FUuUuUUCK

and cups his hands over his lips swinging & shouting!!!!! WELL HEY!!! HEY EVERYONE HEY EVERYONE LOOK LOOOK LOOK!!!!! HEY TMZ EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT FOR THE LAST FKN TIME!!!

& its raining so he prolly almost slips its so...that man is not mentally or physically stable its SO FUCKING SCARY kennys heart is RACING like "take my hand!!! just take my HAND we can Talk about it!!! I LOVE YOU BRO! DO NOT LEAVE ME HERE I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE."

and ravens just like drinking and spiraling drinking spiraling, seriously wavering having a panic attack and a ptsd episode hysterical and fucking inconsolable backing away from kenny closer and closer to ledge like "i'm sorry i'm sorry IM SORRY i'm hideous i'm HIDEOUS everyone keeps looking at me EVERYONE KEEPS TOUCHING ME i cant do this anymore im sorry im not strong like you ken im not strong ive never been strong not like you!!! Not. Like You. im sorry IM SO SORRY let me go!!! LETMEGOLETMEGOLETMEFUCKINGGO—”

but kenny grabs his arm or leg RIGHT before he goes straight over the side JUST in time & is like "you CAN do this!!! you ARE strong i--"

.....and just says "27"

and ravenstan is like "h-huh?"

and kenny is like "you said you wanted to die at 27. like kurt cobain, right??!! so DIE at 27, okay, raven? die at TWENTY FUCKING SEVEN for all i FUCKING CARE but give me six more years!!!! give me six more years and then when you're twenty seven you can decide whether you want to live or die, but until then you owe me SIX. FUCKING. YEARS, you son of a bitch!!! and if you stay ill stay if you go ill go. your life is my life. a life for a life. now…do we have a deal?"

and ravens like "kenny, i-i dont" and theyre like grim reaper mode like "DO. WE. HAVE. A. DEAL?" and stan u know makes th deal with the devil climbs down they hug and cry a lot its beautiful its awful AAA

so ravens stuck here...is he happy about it....no....but hes here 4 kenny...( also for jimmy and the ex cd guitarist those are his boys ) but thats not gonna stop him from getting extremely close 2 dying and destroying his body w/ alcohol...thats his loophole....FML dude :/

TADA!!! ahdslkhda

also: mun fun fact....i was ( still am ) and MASSIVE infinity on high GIRLIE!!!!! like if i even hear hum hallelujah or bang on the doldrums i will SHAKE SOME ASS the white mom chokehold that album has on me is RIDICULOUS

me: falling to my knees in the grocery store when i accidentally hit shuffle on my spotify open mouth sobbing and screaming

IIIII CAST A SPELL OVER THE WESTTT TO MAKE YOU THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK OF MEEEEEE THE SAAAAME WAY I THINK OF YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU

oh my god i could go on and on

( also golden is very ravenstan coded just about him being a celebrity trying to make everyone happy but also his music being controversial and moms pulling their kids away from him like he is evil and because hes just a like a bad role model and a gnarly alcoholc CRYING....

but its also jersey!kyle because he was so full of promise and had so much potential but than also got serious ptsd and went kind of insane because of stan "dying" and just became this basketcase freakshow that everyone is scared is going to snap at any second and is this absolutely fucking menace and AAAAA )

ok im done now but i had so much to say

-uncle nina on her fob wine box soap box

#hi sorry that was unhinged #also enjoy my free traumatic flashback #if this sounds incoherent and crazy its the cab sav i am drinking #everyone say hi jersey #anyways working on rm4 i do hope its out within the week but it could be next week #theres so many more fob songs i could drop but the plot needs to develop ill reblog this post as we dive deeper #BUT YEAH #DOOWB IS VERY RAVENSTAN #and yeah....27....i swear to god #stan in rm makes me soooooooooo sad i want to cry #he is my beautiful beautiful beautiful boy i love him so much #i can’t math on the box wine so i can’t remember if kyle and stan are 21 or 22 in rm #but either way it’s upsetting as fuck #kenny and stan also....i cry i cry i cry i love them i love them

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doyouknowwhoyouare13 · 1 year

Text

Nyx reads Six of Crows (pt.1)

I didn't want to annoy anyone with too much spamming so this is just my general thoughts while reading! (PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS HALF OF IT IS GOING TO BE ME BEING DUMB AS HELL SO)

(updating every day, so you guys can keep up with my thoughts in real-time without TOO much spam :))

LIKE I SAID THERE'S NO PRESSURE TO READ IT AND HONESTLY IF IT GETS ANNOYING JUST BLOCK THE TAG #★nyx reads soc! AND YOU WON'T SEE IT ANYMORE I GET IT'LL PROBABLY BE TOO MUCH CONSIDERING THERE ARE 40 SOME CHAPTERS NO HARD FEELINGS 😭

part 2

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

Started reading: 1/18/23

Finished reading: 2/4/23

Alright, since I didn't start this at the beginning of the book, I'm gonna summarize my thoughts from Chapters 1-4 in a few sentences:

AWWW JOOST AND ANYA SO CUTE, omgggg I'm in love with Inej AND Kaz, is this new? Nope. Uh oh, the girlfriend is gonna get killed. DAMN KAZ THE THREATS 💀 Jesper is so me. NOOOO JOOST. AND ANYA??? Who the hell is that. WHO TF IS JORDIE???? SLAY INEJ!!! Aww, new ship you guys!!!

Ok, that's all hope people understand it and if you don't, too bad. JOKING LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Starting at chapter 5 guys

Kaz is actually so smart

Oh Jordie is older-

I mean I assumed he was his brother but I thought he was younger

MEETING NINA!!!! (Ives said I'd like her)

omg. I'm in love with her. She has said one thing.

HIM BUYING STOCKS FROM THAT OLD MAN BECAUSE OF NINA💀

I can't believe they're only 17

I'm trying to be like Kaz

interested in Matthias like a lot

chapter 6 now

I wonder what Matthias did

omg another new ship

I'm still confused about the costumes

this prison feels like hell

so many gangs

WTF IS THAT THING

ROARS LIKE A LION

LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE THING

WHAT

AHH WTF I'M GONNA CRY

NOT PEKKA AGAIN

who would actually think of something like this 😦

It's sick

not sick in a cool way

sick in a WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL way

YOU'RE RIGHT NINA IT IS DISGUSTING

HOW ARE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS IN GOOD CONSCIENCE

ok maybe for the sick fucks

THEY CHOOSE TO DO IT

FUCK THE BENEFITS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT

omg they bet on it.

crying, screaming

"I'm mad at you, too" "I don't know yet. I just am." -me coded

oh Nina...this won't end well

ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!!

my two sides fighting ^^

NOT HIS HAIR

oh she down bad

Don't tell me killing wolves is against his morals- or his country's morals-

Omg. IT'S AGAINST HIS FUCKING MORALS- SOBBING SCREAMING PULLING MY HAIR OUT WTF

WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH

HE'S WISHING THEM FAREWELL 😭

IT'S TRYING TO KILL HIM AND HE'S PRAYING FOR THEM

AHHHHHH-

HE'S CRYING.

HE. IS. CRYING.

😭😭😭😭

I'm hurt, you guys. Very hurt. Might cry. Probably will.

Do you guys see how sensitive I am yet?

WHAT DID YOU DO NINA???

HIS MOTHER 😭 KAZ I CANNOT RN

Kaz is a slay per usual

I love the word barbaric

such a funny word

Kaz is literally a genius

No I won't stop saying that because he is

I just rolled my eyes so much I could see my fucking brain

Am I the only one who hates when guys act tough?

"I can take it" STFU AND LET HER DO HER WORK 😡

WHY TF IS HE CALLED GOOD BOY I WANNA BE CALLED GOOD GIRL BY KAZ WTF 😡

y'all I don't know who said that cause it wasn't me.

anyways

...oh such a lovely reunion!!! how romantic!!!!!

Chapter 7 ALONG WITH Part 2!!!!

first pov from Matthias!

we left off where he was choking her and now he's dreaming of her???

trying to be like them fr JOKING JOKING

Matthias would like Taylor Swift

I mean he used one of her song titles in one of his first sentences!!!

He's so me

just realized that said hunted instead of haunted

crying actually

I thought we had something Matthias.

now with me those instances would be switched, kissing Nina sounds very pleasant actually

oh Matthias is down bad too

SLAYYYY

MATTHIAS YOU HORNY BASTARD

Sorry that's rude BUT TRUE APPARENTLY???

OMG MATTHIAS GET OVER YOURSELF AND JUST KISS HER HOLY SHIT

Me thinks this is a enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again arc

JESPER'S HERE TOO? WOOHOO, THAT'S MY FAV FR!!!

I say that about everyone idek which one is actually my fav

"Boys like you weren't meant to get ideas, Helver," YOU TELL HIM KAZ!!!

"that Jesper character" HE IS CERTAINLY A CHARACTER INDEED BUT I LOVE HIM FOR IT

My girl killed something that no one had survived before her

Love her sm ❤

Kaz is a lot of things but at least he's honest about it 💀

LEARN HER NAME MATTHIAS 😭

I LOVE JESPER SM

my lord I think he wants to kill Nina, just a thought though

bro Nina fucked him up

GRISHA CORRUPTION??? HOLY SHIT THEY DO HATE THE GRISHA NINA WASN'T EVEN EXAGGERATING

Matthias drop the witch thing, it's getting annoying

A STORK- HE JUST CALLED JESPER A STORK 💀

THE DEMON. MY GOD HE LOVES NAME CALLING

SO SET ON THE KILLING THING MY GOD

oh he's so salty I love it

me thinks she will think about you, often (it's disgusting and I can't stop)

my lord Matthias, never getting on your bad side

does he genuinely think Kaz is a demon? like a demon demon?

New character y'all

OMG ANOTHER REMINDER THEY'RE ALL HELLA YOUNG

THEY SEEM SO MUCH OLDER

VAN ECK???

Chapter 8 IN JESPER'S POV!!!

I love Jesper he's so me

WTF HIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT (I say as I've been complaining to myself about how long the chapters are)

Jealous? I know what you are Jesper.

It's ok me too

JOKING JOKING

or am I?

Y'ALL LEAVE THIS POOR KID ALONE

THEY'RE ALL GOING IN ON HIM

don't have a repeat of Joost. Istfg I will sob. don't try me.

hey, hey. flute is cool too. (ok not as cool as piano but don't tell him I said that)

JESPER 😭

Wylan give me all your belongings rn.

Ofc Kaz is unfazed, it's Kaz tf do you expect?

JESPER I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH

Nina provoking him won't do any good 😭

God the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan

I want what they have

"You're all horrible" YOU WOKE UP AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. 💀

KAZ IS SO. SMART.

OMGGGG WYLAN 😭

"No" "it looks like a target" NOW THAT'S A SLAY

Chapter 9 ANOTHER SHORT ONE!!!

HA KAZ PAIRED JESPER WITH HIM

I feel a new ship brewing

Kaz ships Jesper and Wylan confirmed

KAZ IS SO FUNNY

Can you guys tell I like Kaz yet?

MATTHIAS IS ADORABLE

He'd probably try to kill me if I said that to him

But I only speak the truth!!!

I take that back

how stupid do you have to be to attack Kaz?

Kaz being the best per usual

Chapter 10, INEJ!!!

MY GIRL HAS RETURNED!!!

Can't believe I've already read like 5 chapters today

But some of these have been short, this chapter is too

And it has still taken me like 4 hours I think, I'm a really slow reader 😭

anyways

Inej and Kaz's dynamic never fails to make me laugh 💀

oh...guys now why would you say that

oh no the silent treatment 💀

KAZ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATTTT

Inej's parents were the blueprint

THE FLOWERSSSSS

omg that place sounds horrible.

AHHH NO INEJ

oml my heart is racing

LYNX IS NOT HER NAME 😡

omg she names her knives I love her

I want to know more about her Saints

her knives mean as much to her as Jesper's guns mean to him

WTF DO YOU MEAN IT EXPLODED

NO. NO WAY.

Chapter 11, JESPER AGAIN ❤❤❤

y'all gonna explain the explosion???

WHO ARE YOU SHOOTING AT JESPER

OMG.

"Not a kid" me too Wylan but I also call everyone kid so 🤷

omg Kaz you're a lifesaver, literally

ok it's official, yeah there's def 3 ships here

I know what you guys are.

Matt DIDN'T use his first opportunity to kill Nina? DEVELOPMENT!!!

I am calling him Matt from now on

IT'S TOO FUNNY

AHHH JESPER-

IS HE INSANE?

BETTER THAN WINNING AT GAMBLING?

I'LL TAKE THE CARDS PLEASE WHAT-

"you can't kiss me from down there" SO YOU WANT HIM TO KISS YOU?????? CAUGHT YOU BITCH/j

OH YEAH WYLAN!!! PROVE THOSE BITCHES WRONG!!! YOU ARE USEFUL!!! SLAYYYY

Lawd this chapter brought my heart rate up

Chapter 12, MY BELOVED AGAIN!!!

WHY ARE THESE CHAPTERS SO SHORT

the ones in the beginning were so long

wtf happened

Who cares PARTAY

I hate long chapters

aw not the fucking black tips again

MULTIPLE GANGS?

WITH HIS BARE HANDS 😦

AHHH SO MUCH STRESS- INEJ ISTFG

OMG INEJ SLAY I LOVE THAT FOR YOU I CANNOT

INEJJJ

Omg you worried me.

Kaz to the rescue again

omg.

crying.

she's not gonna die but lord-

ISTFG.

AHHHHHHHHH

this book has a habit of ending the chapters on very worrying notes.

anyways.

Chapter 13, Kaz

scared fr ngl

another short chapter as well

omg he loves her so much

but I love her more so he can fuck off.

JOKING LOVE YA KAZ

trying to steal my girl though 🙄

HIS WRAITH

SOBBING, SCREAMING, PASSING OUT, RIPPING MY HAIR OUT.

STOMPED 💀 HE'S SUCH A CHILD I LOVE HIM

Awww they're so cute together... (Wylan and Jesper)

oh...now Kaz....his eye socket?

OH HIS EYE.

KAZ.

OH HE JUST- THREW IT OVERBOARD- NO CARE IN THE WORLD-

OH AND THE HANDKERCHIEF.

OK I LIKE IT PICASSO.

KAZ. ISTG. I CANNOT.

FUCKING ROLLINS? I SWEAR THIS MF JUST NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OMG-

well bye ig

Don't mess with Inej guys you get your eye taken out and get thrown overboard

deserved

KAZ IS SCARY THOUGH HOLY SHIT

AND THE MY WRAITH THING AGAIN

I CAN'T.

JESPERRRR

I need to know what tf happened with Jordie.

Chapter 14!!! Nina is backkkk

This one is VERY long and by long I mean 15 pages so honestly I'm being dramatic.

Honestly the gang tattoo sounds like it'd look really good

YES NINA SEES IT TOO

Inej and Nina together>>>>

Best friends I say

I wonder if people ship them

I mean I guess I can see it idk yet though

Jesper and Inej 🤝 finding comfort in deathly weapons

Oh Jesper please don't start crying cause I will too

they're all so smart

how tf she know all those languages

y'all I don't think I like Zoya all that much

ONCE AGAIN SHE'S SO SMART

MATTTTT

omg she said he looks like a painting

crying, screaming

oh Nina..

um...everyone makes mistakes! you'll be ok!

ew. um. I would rather die, actually.

Me thinks Jarl Brum is a little bitch

I wish I understood all the words they're saying

NO. FUCKING. WAY. I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF THEY DO WHAT I THINK THEY'RE IMPLYING.

oh some boy to the rescue

oh nvm.

NINA YESSSS SLAY

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAYYYY UGHHHHH

omg she's going to kill him!!!

I support women's rights but I also support their wrongs

joking I know she won't kill him

ooh she called out the name calling too

glad I'm not the only one

OMG NINA YOU DID WHAT

YOU'RE RIGHT HE DOES HAVE A RIGHT TO DISLIKE YOU 😦

I don't though, still love you SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS!!! (/j)

OMG THIS HURTS.

I'M GONNA CRY-

Last chapter of this part, Chapter 15, Matty boy's perspective

Back to the short chapters

oh...violent per usual

WYLAN BITING THE DISK 💀

oooh Brum died? YIPEE!!!

omg Kaz 😭

HE'S SO IN LOVE

Kaz scary sometimes

AWWW HE'S WARMING UP TO WYLAN

"my ghost won't associate with your ghost)" MATTYYY 💀

CHAPTER 16, along with part 3, AND AN INEJ POV!!!

oh she's crying-

BEST FRIENDS!!!!!

3 DAYS?????

HELPPP THIS FRIENDSHIP IS EVERYTHING

I feel like Kaz has a death wish

OMG I NEED THEM TOGETHER. SHE CARES SO MUCH FOR HIM.

I LOVE INEJ AND NINAAAAA

not her bullying her singing 💀

THEY LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HER

THESE POOR CHILDREN

Chapter 17, AND JESPERRRRRRRR

I'd probably jump too, seems boring

HELP BOTHER WYLAN

they love each other

ok Wylan, come on now

JESPER IS JUST LIKE ME BRO

oh the lovers are quarreling

HELP "You're not dead!" JESPER 💀

Y'all...it's a good thing I'm a multi-shipper.../hj

"YOU'RE NOT INVITED" 💀

am I though?? I love waffles

Jesper is a people watcher

LIKE I SAID JUST LIKE ME FR

"Would it kill him to smile every once in a while" "very possibly" YALL 😭

Inej and Jesper friendship supremacy

omg Jesper loves Kaz

me too

AND HE ASKS ABOUT WYLAN

THEY'RE IN LOVE

WHAT

WITH HIS TUTOR???

SLAY WYLAN

SHE READ THE LETTERS I CAN'T

HE DOESN'T LIKE THE OCEAN EITHER????

JESPER WE'RE JUST SO CONNECTED

I told you Jesper has a crush on Kaz. "feeling his cheeks heat" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

idek if I'm joking at this point not

THEY'RE THE BEST CHARACTERS OUT OF THE WHOLE BOOK

I LOVE THEM YOU GUYS I LOVE THEM

alright day 2 (or 3, can't remember) of you guys putting up with my total BULLSHIT

Chapter 18, KAZZZZ

my husband fr

and Inej's

TRYING TO FIND AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO HER 😭

Kaz always has something over someone 💀

"tell me you know that. He needed her to say it." "He needed to know she believed him." HE WANTS HER TO TRUST HIMMMM

NO.

JORDIE.

OH THAT BITCH

BRO ISTFG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CRYING SCREAMING PASSING OUT OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I WANNA-

BE RID OF THIS DISTRACTION? KAZ BREKKER. ISTFG IF YOU LOSE HER BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID TRAIN OF THOUGHT I'LL CRY.

KAZ BREKKER. 😡😡😡

BRO "He didn't want Inej." YOU JUST FUCKING SAID-

OH. THAT'S A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE- POOR KAZ'S DAD-

HE GREW UP ON A FARM.

KAZ IS A FARMER BOY.

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY.

this is gonna be sad.

oh he liked the omelets :(

OMG HES SO INNOCENT

FUCK NOT WCS

OMG I CAN'T DO THIS RN

HE BLAMES HIMSELFFFFF

I'M GONNA SOB

JORDIEEEE

NOOO YOU JINXED IT

actually about to start crying

knowing Jordie dies hurt

WHERE IS SASKIA NOW

"That seems like cheating" and he does it now :(

omg Filip not a good idea

AHHH

he didn't.

he didn't just trick some helpless CHILDREN right?

OMFG HE DID.

OH THE RIBBON

OH THE METAPHOR

OMG OUCH HOLY SHIT

Chapter 19, Matty boy is back

Feel like it hasn't been his pov in forever

It's only been 4 chapters.

Embarrassing on my part 💀

anyways this chapter is so long

20 pages this time

still not that long but longer than the last time I complained about it

anyways

I love Nina

HE CAN SMILE???

He's such a child

it's so funny

Finally they're having contact without them trying to kill each other

OMG HE'S SO IN LOVE

AHHHH in a good way this time

uh oh running out of romance tabs

you ruined it Matty boy

I love that they say that

"Strange people" PLEASE

So real Jesper

Kaz has his priorities straight

money>>>>everyhing/hj

HE LEFT HIS CANE????

omg they just keep going 😭

sometimes I forget they're technically speaking another language

do none of them have mothers

If Matty betrays them istg

Don't pull a Peter Matty boy

Ah fuck I'm out of post-its for my in-book annotations

ugh I should've been better prepared 😭

omg I'm ALSO always in charge of making sure people don't start fighting

ONCE AGAIN, KAZ IS A FUCKING GENIUS.

omg Matty, I love you, but you're getting on my fucking nerves

KAZ PAIRING WYLAN AND JESPER TOGETHER AGAIN

PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SHIPS HIM

THERE'S NO WAY I'M THE ONLY ONE

AT LEAST YOU FOUND SOMETHING TO AGREE ON 💀

Matty, they ARE crows

HIM IMITATING THE BELLS

Because you're in love Matty boy, that's why

HOW LONG WAS NINA PULLING HIS HEAVY ASS BODY WITH HER? AND USING POWERS?? DAMN

awww they're so cute

if we look past the fact they are very close to death

um...

HE TURNED AROUND FOR HER

Nah I don't think it's intentional I think you just have a dirty mind Matty boy

"Then you're as stupid as you look" SLAY NINA!!!!

OMG MATT GET OVER YOURSELF AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

IT'S NOT NATURAL FOR SOMEONE TO BE AS STUPID AS HE IS TALL 💀💀💀

A BURLY SQUID????? NINAAA

AHHHH

"He lied. He did like the way she talked."

MATTY

oh god

GO OFF NINA!!!!

HOW IS ONE OF THEM ALIVE?

oh poor Nina

YES NINA STAND YOUR GROUND

Matthias. Yes I just said your real name. That is such a fucked up thing to say.

SLAY NINA

Chapter 20, NINAAA

the ending of the last chapter made me really angry at Matty boy so

also I'm officially halfway through the book!!!

oh Nina loves him so much :/

so down bad

I LOVE THEM

well I get why he hates Grisha if his family was killed by them

WE DON'T EAT BABIES 💀

Matt you do not have fun you seem like the most boring person ever

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD LAUGH I'M CRYING

Nina is so relatable

"Do you ever doubt yourself?"

"All the time." "I just don't show it."

OMG NINA JUST CALLED HIM OUT

fuck out of romance tabs

so cute though

OMG THEY NAME SHARED

AHHHHH

oh he angry

honestly has the right to

Nina now wtf come on

INEJ TO THE RESCUE!!!!

I might actually cry I found more tabs and I don't wanna go back

At least I have them for the future?

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF CHECKING MY BAG OMFG

IT'S A NEW FUCKING PACK TOO I'M GONNA START SOBBING

Switching general note post-its too BECAUSE THERE WAS A WHOLE FUCKING THING OF THOSE TOO

MY GOD 😭

how do you view Grisha as less than you WHEN THEY ARE LITERALLY BETTER THAN YOU IN SO MANY WAYS

ARE YOU CONTROLLING THE ELEMENTS? I DIDN'T THINK SO

CAN YOU KILL SOMEONE WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM? NOPE.

STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE

oh that's fucked up Kaz

ok well Nina is justified in all that

HE DOESN'T WANT IT???

WOOHOO

YIPPEE

HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER NOW

Summing up what I read in school! (so ten pages)

That food was probably disgusting, CANNONS? "WHO KNEW I HAD A TASTE FOR LITERATURE" JESPER 💀. Good plan, but also so incredibly stupid wtf. NINA. Inej's discussion with Matty is so true.

alright continuing chapter 21, INEJ!!!

my wife fr

Bro Jesper is just so me

Bro, I'd give this man the most amazing, mind-blowing, leg-shaking, eye-rolling, breath-taking, sheet-grabbing, sloppiest head he's ever gotten in his entire life

Who said that cause it wasn't me

Def not

anyways

OH NO HE FLINCHED

oh shit they're pressed together

his touch thing

oh fuck

don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

Matty boy scary

"IT LOOKS LIKE LEAVING THEM IN A DITCH" 💀

Nina and Matty boy are so cute 😍

IDEAL FOR FAKING SUICIDES????

This book gives me stress

OMG KAZ I'M GONNA CRY

FAINTED??? SOBBING SCREAMING RIPPING MY HAIR OUT

Chapter 22, KAZZLE DAZZLE

SCARED FR

oh their story is so sad :/

NOOOOOO JORDIE

OH MY GOD.

HE'S SO YOUNG

THIS ISN'T FAIR

I'M ACTUALLY CRYING

HE HAD TO USE HIS BODY

OH HONEY YOU'RE NO MONSTER DON'T SAY THAT

OMG HIM AND INEJ I'M GONNA SOB

OH NO HE'S PANICKING CAUSE INEJ ISN'T THERE

TANKS?

Kaz slays with the quotes per usual

JESPER 💀

OH LORD KAZ I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES JESPER

oh Kaz :/ I FEEL SO BAD

"Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages" KAZZZZZZ 😭

SLAY KAZ YOU DO THAT!!!

Chapter 23, JESPER!!!!!

He just like me but my father doesn't understand so 🤷🏻‍♀

THE LEG WAS ASKING FOR IT????? WHAT????

I WANT MORE WYLAN 😡

Love Jesper and Wylan so much

SINCE WHEN IS HE A FABRIKATOR

I LOVE THEM

THEY'RE BOTH FARM BOYS

Y'ALL THAT'S TOO FUNNY TO ME

THE FLIRTINGGGG

Chapter 24, NINA!!!

my other wife

so pretty much all of the Fjerdan are hella tall? scary

THOSE CELLS ARE HORRIBLE

poor Nina

UH OH UH OH UH OH

NOT AN ALARM OMG

Chapter 25, Inej!!!

even his gloves are genius

AH ISTG IF SHE FALLS

THE SHOES???

omg Kaz and Inej 😍

I hate this place.

EW HELEEN IS DISGUSTING

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

"Better terrible truths than kind lies"

so real for that one

please Inej, keep going 😭

THANK YOU RAIN OMG

THE STRESS

YES INEJ, YES IT IS!!!

Chapter 26, my husband

the only thing keeping him alive rn is revenge

KAZ YOU BIT HIM??? 😭

Genius at 9

A ROCK??? BRO KAZ WAS AS RUTHLESS AT 9 AS HE IS NOW

Rietveld

Kaz Rietveld

Idk doesn't have the same ring to it but that might just be because I'm used to Brekker

Kaz should teach me cards imagine how much money I'd get

OMG HE'S HERE?

KAZ

ok y'all I'm gonna start struggling I've used too many images so I have like 3 more chapters I can go between and then I'm gonna have to start a new post

I'm gonna cry

anyways

chapter 27 JESPER!!!

OH I FORGOT ABOUT THE ALARM

ok they're all good

for now

HELP JESPER IS TOO FUNNY THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION

NOT THE MENAGERIE 😡

chapter 28, INEJ!!!!

my wife fr

DEMON AGAIN 💀

bro how are they all geniuses

so we have a new plan!!!!!

WDYM MISS THAT LOOK YOU'LL BE SEEING IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

RIGHT? RIGHT??????

I like shiny things

omg I hate this

DON'T SAY THAT

omg Matty said it

JESPER 💀

Omg she's gonna leave.

OMG HE TOUCHED HER.

AHHHH

HE DIDN'T PULL AWAYYYY

omg she'd be such a good captain

they all have horrific backgrounds

I love Nina sm

HELP

"all I can see is your ass" 💀

THEY CALLED HIM A TULIP

BRO THAT'S BETTER THAN THE STORK THING

I CAN'T RN

DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM FLIRT WITH ME

OMG INEJ ISTG IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU

this is the last chapter I'm doing on this post

BUT CHAPTER 29!! MATTY BOY

I love Jesper

Bro loves her so much

we just moving past that??

HE DIDN'T SHOOT!!! WOOHOO!!!

#★nyx reads soc!

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forestshadow-wolf · 9 months

Text

I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S moments (chapter 4- Part 1)

Fic link written by @tavtarnish. Please go check it out. It is fantastic!

if anyone was invested in this at all, I sincerely apologize for not updating this for so long, I don't really have a reason other than I just got lazy. anyway- ONWARDS!!!

chapter 3 || Chapter 5

The opening of the chapter

The way it definitely implied that soap has undoubtedly been at it for a while. Long enough to settle into a routine. It also shows his frustration really well. The strength that he's hitting, and they way his mind still continues to wonder

Remembering hearing his mother call him angrily from the house

I feel like this is such a core memory for me. Also idk if anyone else had the experience where their parents kicked them out of the house during the summer and then got mad when they didn't make it back in time for dinner. Like I'm sorry?? All you said was go outside, and didn't give me a time to be back? Kinda got off topic here, the point was: core memory unlocked

Little john trying not to make the punishment worse by being gentle with the the door and stuff

I honestly have nothing to say at this point, it's just super relatable to me

Idk if ive said this before but his sisters' names

I just think they're lovely

They way he feels guilt even as a child for not being there to redirect or avoid completely his mother's anger

This makes me so sad :( bb it's not ur fault

The casset that he and his sister were fighting about just days earlier as an apology!!!!!

This is exactly how it is to have siblings, like you'll be at eachother's throats and then something happens and then it's like it never happened. Also never once has a verbal apology been as affective as an action

Also being able to feel the anger flowing off his mother... like that's when you know you're in some deep shit

The whole come home by the time the street lights come on

Is accurate. Relatable. Especially getting back late because fo the changing season...

The disappointment in his mother's voice

That one hurted just a lil bit bc disappointment is always just that much worse than anger isn't it??

And he understands her frustration

That just makes it all the worse, right? I mean he just wanted some more time to have fun with his friends, but that left his mother swamped with everything else. It's really a lose lose situation :/

Not bringing up his father "after the last time"

Knowing when to pick his battles. But also what happened last time?? I can only assume lots of yelling and crying and and just :(

The following quiet

And it's like nobody except you can feel the tension still in the air, and it's like the smallest thing could set everything off again

Im ignoring something for right now I will circle back to it in a moment. But lemme just say his father?

I'm not liking the vibes I get from him... there I said it. I don't like him

His mother brushing over his hair and the back of his head

Look I know I've been making it seem like I think mary is a bad mom, but she really isn't. She's just overworked and doing her best. And john understands that but he also needs to be able to be a kid. And mary needs help around the house bc there is too much to do and only one of her

Ok back to the thing I ignored. The way he wishes for her to just get angry

I think maybe it's bc when people are angry it's easy to deal with, either you argue back, stay quiet, or say/do whay they want you to right? But with the disappointment it's almost the same response just with no visable reason for it. It's harder to deal with because we as people are not taught how to fix it other than to "do better next time" but how does that fix what happened now?

I also want to pint out the bolded part

Bc like the yelling is so much easier to deal with than the calm voice. Maybe it's bc you can still feel the pent up tenson that might have normally been released with the yelling

Also he wonders if it makes him a bad son

And I think, maybe normally people don't wish for that, but it doesn't make him a bad son. Like I understand so completely how he feels, and it's so real that it's devastating. And it doesn't make him a bad son. And I know that because maybe for him it's just easier for him to deal with physical problems than it is for him to deal with whatever this is.

And then the last line of the flashback

God!! I just know he was beating himself up after that. I do. I just know. And it's the perfect segue back into the present moment.

Getting so lost hin his head that he forgets he's even really doing anything

I guess forget isn't really the right word. Like he knew enough to keep doing it, but kinda just tuned everything else out.

The way it all just bubbles up

The lights just too loud, the air hot and heavy with anger and frustration. And he's still aped up despite all the energy he spent. And he tried, he really does try to keep himself composed. But the irritation makes his bones buzz, and he just needs to do something, anything to get it out. And he's so worked up that he doesn't even realize he split his knuckles until he looked at them.

And then it keeps building

It's too much, all of it. The steaming anger, the loudness of the lights, the way his hair remains untamed despite his efforts

Focusing on his hair again, idc what anyone says, his hair is actually such an important part of him. So his hair getting in the way, in his face, even after he tries to rake it out of the way... maybe kinda like how he's having trouble with his emotional regulation? It's kinda like his emotions are clouding his rational thinking, which is a perfect lead to my next point.

Where it all finally boils over

He shouldn't, he knows he shouldn't. But the useless buzzing is still in his bones and flowing through his veins. And he just has to do something or he might just brun from the inside out.

And then the immediate regret

"If it isn't the consequences of my own actions" for real though this is actually an important part. Because sometimes even if it's a personal issue you have to choose the lesser of two evils, even if you don't know you even have options. Also I think the is very much foreshadowing what will happen if he doesn't properly acknowledge the problem, and also shows what it is doing to him in a physical manifestation.

Also perhaps symbolism of not actually vomiting... because ya boy is emotional constipated

Ok im gonna end this here for now, because if this sits im my drafts any longer it'll never get posted. Also sorry if this isn't as indepth as the other parts, I'm doing all of this on my phone.

#el rambles #el over analyzes #I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S #john soap mactavish #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost

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andsalttheearthbehindyou · 5 months

Text

November reading wrapup

hmmm pretty good month for quantity but hit or miss for quality, i either loved or hated almost all of these. 💆🏻‍♀️

1. the lover, marguerite duras — tumblr girl classic, ur fav web weaving posts almost definitely feature a snippet of this. like woah 😭 ok very timeless very vivid and real. I did cry.

2. icebreaker, hannah grace — this is EMBARASSINGGGGGG i was going to a hockey game and was like woah let me get into this mindset... into this world… THIS BOOK WAS MISLEADING i thought itd be equal parts hockey world ice skater world equal parts romance and no.. it was nothing of the sort... this was just tooooo porny like WAY too much, even for me. AND I USED TO WRITE SM- *gunshot*

3. throne of glass, sarah j mass — does anyone have any good fantasy series recs that arent this?? like this is what years without winds of winter will do to a woman. im settling for this subpar garbage. but i am gonna keep reading it bc what else do i have, george???

4. mickey7, edward ashton — been on my tbr since rob pattinson was announced to be the lead in this in the bong joon-ho movie… i feel like with the creatives behind it thisll end up being one of those rare bones and all situations where the adaptation is wayyyyy better than the book. but idk. book itself was whatever good concept but didnt even really go anywhere. i thought that i had guessed a twist lie 3 quarters of the way thru but there was no twist literally nothing happened. therefore MID

5. blood meridian, cormac mccarthy — the only other time i had like a visceral tummy churning reaction to a book like this was when i read theons chapters in a dance with dragons 😭😭😭 anyway i like the lack of quotation marks and i also find it easier to write without them SHOOT ME

6. death valley, melissa broder — im really endeared to broder as a writer because i feel like she can only do one thing really well and shes very self aware of that.. which i respect.. also what the protag is going thru here at the start of the book is something ive also gone thru and it felt very strangely accurate and bizarre as a real person reading about a fake person going thru it. and literally within the book the protag references how writers poorly portray their characters accurately 'going thru it' (i keep saying going thru it bcoz im trying not to spoil even tho no ones gonna read my recs ALTHO this one deserves to be read i think) so that was cray and meta but umm what im trying to say is.. melissa i wanted to go to ur book signing i literally had my day cleared in my planner for u. why did u have to cancel the event.

7. indelicacy, amina cain — public announcement i guess but hey girl @noumenongirl i think you would love this one i dont know why but the whole time i was reading i was just like woah she’d love this😭 i liked it a lot

8. the penelopiad, margaret atwood — this is what circe by madeline miller wanted and tried to be but failed tremendously at.....

9. crown of midnight, sarah j mass — was better than throne of glass in the beginning actually but then they halfway thru lost me again..

10. the assassins blade, sarah j mass — im just hate reading at this point like i dont have anything else to do. Celaena youll never be daenerys girl like stop

11. elvis and me, priscilla beaulieu presley — ohhhh…. :,(((( my fav celeb memoir yet i think.....

+ bonus — im gonna add this to my december list but im like 75% of the way with fourth wing rn, good fawking heavens i wishthat grrm could trademark copyright the concept of dragons like i dont think anyone should be allowed to write about DRAGONS only him. like mini spoilers for fourth wing SORRY but WHY DO THE DRAGONS SPEAK ENGLISH, WHY DO THEY EVEN SPEAK AT ALL....cringe. but better than throne of glass at least😭 but it doesnt take much to be better than throne of glass to be fair. OK reading wrapup over.

#technically read lover at the end of october SORRRYY... SORRY FOR CHEATING.... but had to mention it bc it was the best of the lot imo #and if u have any recs lmk😸!#booklr

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winterswhite · 1 year

Text

Personal rant, CW for talks of blood and medical stuff

The past 5 days have really been so much for me and it... seriously doesn't feel like only 5 days at all with how much has gone on

On Wednesday evening I got home from work feeling extremely weak after telling my QPP repeatedly that I don't feel good, and after I was no longer able to hold my head up or open my eyes without extreme effort my roommate took me to the emergency room where we waited 9ish hours for me to even be taken to a bed and then one or two more to be seen

When they did get there, they said they needed to take blood, give me an IV, do chest x-rays, and a few other tests (I think they tested me for a stroke too) because clearly a lot was wrong

The nurse tried to put the IV in my left arm and then my hand, failing both times because she couldn't find a vein. She then called over a second nurse, who said since I had already been poked twice, she wasn't going to poke me unless she was sure she had one

She left without poking me.

She called over a doctor to come with a whole ass ultrasound setup to use that to find a vein, and they only found a suitable one in my upper right arm, meaning I had to hold it up at an uncomfortable angle the entire time and because of where it was, it also hurt the entire time (only a little, but still)

They also interrupted it in the middle to take more blood ("well that can't be good")

Also, while they were putting the IV in, I remember them struggling to reach the vein, and the pain from them wiggling it around trying to reach my difficult ass vein, and then hearing "how attached are you to this sweatshirt?"

I had... bled all over it (fortunately they stopped the bleeding pretty fast, very different from my last experience with an IV where I nearly bled out on the hospital floor)

Anyway, after wanting to cry from how uncomfortable the whole experience was but eventually managing to sleep through the last half hour of it, they told me about my bloodwork, and a lot is wrong! Some of the things that have always been wrong with me, and some new things, like low thyroid and low potassium, low sodium etc

They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment in a week and I leave, it is now Thursday morning

I picked up the meds they prescribed me and got home around noon, exhausted from not having slept all night, and napped

Only to wake up to a terrible toothache out nowhere, that at its worst was so bad I couldn't lift a finger

I ran to the dentist but they were closing by the time I got there and told me to come back the next morning

I did, and they said I need an emergency root canal, but that it would be hard to find any endodontists who take my insurance, which... yeah, it proved to be impossible

So now, today, I'm scheduled for the root canal, and I have to pay for the whole $1500 out of pocket

Which I haven't reached, but... I'll have to see what I can manage now

Also, through all of this, my workplace is telling me it's "unacceptable" not to show up to work because they're short-staffed. As if I wasn't stuck in the fucking hospital. I worried about getting fired, because I need that money to pay for the fucking root canal and I hadn't even received my first paycheck, so I went in to work yesterday, but wasn't able to finish a full day of work because I felt like Shit

They still told me they need a doctor's note specifically stating that I can't work for x number of days (even though I gave them my emergency room discharge papers to prove I was unwell) before they could believe that I was actually not feeling well enough to work

So I guess I'm going to ask the fucking endodontist for one

And this cuts into my funds for my trip to take the JLPT and some other things in June, which I also really need so I can get a better job. It is absolutely necessary that I take this trip, but I'll no longer have the money for it yet, and travel costs only go up as you get closer to the date of, so lol.

Anyway. It has not even been 5 full days since I first went to the ER. I need a fucking break.

#anposting #/rant

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