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#at the very least it was a nice break from social media. i guess. i was just plagued by the fear my content was gone 4ever 💔💔
spaceyflowers · 2 years
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good afternoon tumblr randomly terminated my account 5 for days but i promise im well and fine 😭
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The gang + powerful overlord reader who is trying to reform
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A/n: Tbh I don't have the strongest grasp on what makes an overlord an overlord but I tried. Everything here is platonic!
Warning: Very slight alluding to suicide. It's in one sentence and not supposed to be about suicide but I just wanted to warn y'all in case.
(Not beta read!)
You honestly didn't want to be an overlord. But if you had some power maybe the citizens of hell would leave you alone. And you were admittedly powerful. Which wasn't by your own doing, just like in the living world everything was down to luck. And you won the lottery. So you decided to spend the money and became an overlord. Just to lower the chance of demons pestering you.
It worked. It worked too well. You took out a few overlords, it was dirty. You caught them off guard in the middle of going about their life. You don't keep up with politics. To your surprise, you took out two heavy hitters. Which did result in people not pestering you. But not just that it resulted in them outright avoiding you. You didn't feel good about killing them, you just killed as many as you thought would need to make you noteable. If you had just killed the two it would have removed more unnecessary deaths that you caused.
People would literally light themselves on fire rather than be near you. Out of fear of what gruesome way you would kill them. Not that you would kill them but rumors spread. It went from you just stabbing the overlords to torturing them in the most messed up way possible. You being this insanely powerful and sadistic being. That was the only way they could imagine you killing some of the most powerful creatures in hell.
So it was like that for years. As you were walking around the death and carnage you didn't mean to cause. Amidst all the screams you heard a TV playing. You check it out and it was some sort of ad. You recognized Angel from Val. Whenever Velvet was the one to show up at meetings she would always manage to bring up her and the other Vee's social media presence. Which with Val would involve his pornos. At least he's able to escape from that prick sometimes. Despite the glitch he was somehow causing and his face being hidden you also recognized Alastor.
You didn't know much about your colleague's personal lives. You barely showed up at the meeting but this piqued your interest. But it was quickly cut off by the news.
"Breaking news in hell today!" One of the broadcasters, Katie, spoke, "We have just received word from the Heaven embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before!"
Well fuck you guess. You were never worried about exterminations. Not only did you have a safe area then none of the angels seemed to visit, if they killed you you'd be out of this dumpster fire. Granted you could go to an even worse dumpster fire but you didn't know that for sure.
But you were interested in whatever that first ad was for. Granted everyone was panicking so it wasn't like you could ask anyone about it. However, the news cut right back to the ad.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" A woman with an x over her eye spoke.
It cut to Husk (Who you've only heard snippets about from Alastor.) and Angel.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel." Husk's eyes lingered below him. Clearly reading a script. If his eyes didn't give it away his monotone voice certainly did. "Can I help you with anything?"
"I've been a bad boy. And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place." Angel moaned. There was a slight sigh coming from behind the camera. Okay ew. You were not trying to see porn while going for a walk. Just as you were about to walk away Angel spoke up again, "On the path to redemption!"
Oh! That sounded... quite nice actually. You didn't exactly believe in the idea. But a chance to get away and even a chance to redeem yourself was a very nice idea.
You went to the hotel's door and racked against the door. Which was kind of stupid. Hotel doors don't need to be knocked on but it still felt like the right thing to do. The fucking princess of hell herself opened the door with a somewhat panicky smile plastered on her face.
"Hello-" She bit her lip "One second." She left but left the door open a creek, "Vaggie it happened again!" She yelled you could hear the rest of what she was saying but you saw a red glow approaching the door.
Before you knew what was happening your hand (and whole body was being shaken by the Radio demon himself, "Why hello y/n!" His staticky voice greeted, "Are you here to watch this wayward adventure fail as well? Or perhaps you aim to entertain it?" Alastor unnerved you. While you were the same on power level he was unpredicted any vengeful thoughts he had were hidden behind his smile.
He was gently pushed away by Charlie. "So sorry about the wait, just wasn't expecting another powerful overlord." She vaguely gestured to Alastor, "So do you want to check in?" Her voice was cautiously hopeful.
"Yep!"
Her eyes turned the size of saucers, "OK! Great so um sorry I'm just so excited! You can go choose your room! A few are already occupied by our guests and staff! But it's pretty easy to tell which rooms are taken." She rambled. As she guided you through the hotel the woman with an x over her eye pointed a spear at you as you passed by.
A short one-eyed girl scattered around. The exact opposite of how she was in the ad. She stabbed a bug with a whole knife getting dangerously close to Husk being at the end of her knife in the process.
Angel glanced at you and any color his already pure white face had drained. Uh oh.
"One minute." You said and walked over to the spider demon, "Fyi just to let you know I also want to kill Val. Just say the word and I might finally be able to go through with it." You said in a hushed voice. He was still tense but visibly relaxed.
You soon found a room and got somewhat set up. You'd have to bring some stuff from your house tomorrow. But today you decided to just collapse onto your bed. While your first impressions weren't of a super chill place, it did give the impression of a family. Maybe your life wouldn't be so much of a living hell here.
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capricornlevi · 6 months
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warm, cool, sweet and bitter
cafe!owner nanami x reader - gn!reader - sfw - wc 1.6k
"not going for the usual?"
nanami's question is delivered casually and carefully, the low tones of his voice carrying across the empty floor of the restaurant.
his restaurant, to be exact. your favourite spot for a late-night cup of tea and the only place in the city that serves sandwiches made with baguettes baked fresh in-house, you find yourself here around 4am at least four days a week.
it's funny; your schedules make it so that the end of your day always coincides with the start of nanami's. he comes in early to put the pastries in the oven, to grind the coffee beans to the correct consistency, to ensure that there's enough stock to last the coming few hours. he's always occupied with some task or another -- for his sake, you're glad you're the only customer at this hour.
though the restaurant is a veritable ghost town whenever you visit, he has told you it tends to pick up around 7am. within the hour, there's a queue out the door.
the popularity doesn't surprise you. nothing beats the welcoming aroma of fresh bread from the oven, the slightly bitter but warm scent of brewing coffee enveloping you into a little bubble sheltered from the usual hustle and bustle of the streets outside.
the bar you work at is just three doors down, and so by the time last call is announced, you're already thinking of the warm baguette you're going to enjoy before rushing home to collapse into bed.
the same baguette every time, with the same blend of tea. you're fairly certain he gives you the same mug every time, too, a beautifully crafted piece of porcelain with little hand-painted yellow flowers decorating the sides.
you've carved out a nice little routine for yourself. but as nanami so astutely pointed out a moment ago, you figure it's time to change it.
some aspects of the routine stay the same; you sit on the same counter stool you always sit at, placed just beside the coffee maker so you can chat as nanami prepares a macchiato for himself. nanami looks the same, dressed in that familiar shirt and slacks that seem perfectly tailored just for him. the smooth jazz playlist plays so quietly in the background that it's barely legible -- you only catch a note or two every few minutes.
but you are going to change one key aspect of this ironclad routine: your order.
"yeah, gonna go for coffee today, i think," you inform him, trying to sound assured in your decision. "a double epresso, please."
"a double? at four in the morning?"
he casts a questioning look your way from over the counter and you shrug, trying to ignore the ache of your muscles as you do so. as he hand-whisks some whipped cream for the pastries, a few strands of his blond hair fall into his eyes. he tries to flick them away to no avail.
you swallow, a lump forming in your throat as you think of how to reply.
"busy day ahead of me, i guess."
nanami nods slowly -- out of politeness, you presume, since there's no way he knows what you're referring to.
your purposeful vagueness isn't to be rude, though, it's just saving you both from extreme awkwardness.
since the reason you're loading up on caffeine is so that you're fully charged to go and break up with your cheating boyfriend.
your pathetic, free-loading, unable to do his own laundry, didn't even have the courtesy to crop you out of the pictures he used on his Tinder profile, miserable excuse for a boyfriend.
in the middle of your lunchbreak you received a text from a girl he'd been hooking up with, who had very kindly spotted your picture on his social media and decided to inform you as to the calibre of man you were calling your significant other.
you thanked her, typed up a three-sentence long text telling your boyfriend it was over, and blocked him.
he had then used his friend's phone to call you, weeping for a chance to explain, snivelling and choking out inarticulate apologies, and you agreed to see him one last time.
just to give him a piece of your mind before cutting him off for good. it'll be good for closure, you figure.
you're more angry than heartbroken -- honestly, you're not sure you ever really liked him. six months into this relationship and you find yourself looking forward to these conversations with nanami more than you do spending time with the man you're actually seeing.
were seeing. past tense, thankfully.
nanami bends down to place the whipped cream in the fridge, dusting some residual flour from his royal blue shirt as he rises again.
"sounds like more than just a busy day," he observes patiently, measuring out some espresso grounds to pull your coffee. "want to talk about it?"
against the odds, your exhausted face brightens with a smile. "there's good customer service, and then there's me taking advantage of your hospitality, nanami."
shaking his head amusedly as he shakes off the excess grounds from the basket, he chuckles, a low, pleasant sound that lodges in your chest.
"it's not taking advantage if i'm offering willingly."
"you don't have enough to do around here?" you grin.
"oh, i do. but hearing about your problem might make me feel better about having to spend three hours doing stock take later this evening."
"ah, so i'm doing you a service moaning about my personal life?"
"absolutely. in fact, if it's tragic enough, i'll throw in a pain au chocolate free of charge."
"high stakes," you reply with a faux solemnity. "you really want to hear?"
"very much so," he answers, the sentence being punctuated by the hum of the espresso machine.
"okay then," you sigh, fidgeting with the rings on your right hand as some vain attempt to distract yourself. "the short of it is that i just wasted six months of my life. half a year. five percent of a decade that i'll never get back."
nanami waits for the espresso to finish pouring, the deep amber of the coffee shot wafting steam up into the air between the two of you.
"wasted how?"
another sigh, wearier this time. "on a guy who i genuinely think has annoyed me since i met him."
silence. this time, it doesn't appear to be coffee-related.
but when you glance away from your rings to see nanami's face, you see that it's more pensive than judgemental. as though he's truly considering what to say next.
"why did you agree to go out with him in the first place?" he asks after another few moments, brows slightly pinched together.
a fair question. one you're not entirely sure of the answer to.
"fear of the alternative?" you hazard a guess, acutely aware of how strange it is to be speaking so candidly with a guy you only know through your shared love for baked goods.
"being alone?" he follows up with a sincerity that cuts through any discomfort.
"i guess."
"i know what you mean," nanami continues, finally remembering the espresso shot that's still sitting on the tray.
he takes the cup -- your usual, because neither of you thought to forego that part of the routine -- and sets it before you, muscles in his forearms straining when he crosses them over his chest afterwards.
"you do not," you mumble instictively. the words fall out without you thinking, but they're not meant maliciously; it's just that nanami is so ... eligible, for lack of better word. handsome, engaging, owns his own thriving café.
he makes fresh eclairs every single morning, for crying out loud. you cannot fathom a world in which people aren't lining up to be with him.
though your blurted words could be perceived as rude, nanami just smiles softly, amusement reaching his eyes as they lock with yours.
"want me to tell you something?"
"is it as embarrassing as my fact?" you query, knocking back most of your coffee in one swig.
"unquestionably."
at that, you set the cup back down abruptly, clinking it against the saucer.
"really?"
he just nods. you sit back on the stool, feeling the plush backing of the stool against your lower back.
"go on, then."
"i don't actually open this early."
your face scrunches into an expression of pure confusion; nanami's lips quirk upwards in response.
"what do you mean? do you open in like ... a half hour?"
he shakes his head, those strands of hair falling loose again.
something washes over you, a sense of recognition, connecting the dots slowly in your tired, over-exerted brain.
"nanami ..."
"yes?"
"... do you not open until seven?"
nanami's weighted silence answers your question.
you breathe in, out. blink haplessly up at him.
you're sure your coffee is starting to get cold, but you make no attempt to drink it.
"i - what - what are you - why do you let me come in here three hours early? why did you never say anything?"
you choke out the words desperately, flooded with a dozen different feelings at once.
he stays smiling, but something else flashes in his eyes. you see the already-tense muscles of his arms tighten further.
"why do you think i never said anything?"
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of-apollo · 10 months
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Overnight in Amsterdam
PAIRING: Dani Rojas x GN!Reader
SUMMARY: After your karaoke plans fall through, you end up having one hell of a night out at the jazz club with Higgins and Will. When you get back drunk and tired, Dani is there to take care of you.
WARNINGS: Alcohol, drunkenness, hangovers and spoilers for Ted Lasso!
When Rebecca had asked you to come to Amsterdam, you couldn’t say no. You were the teams social media manager, and though you could very easily do your job from home, Rebecca invited you under the guise that it’d be easier for you to be at the match and around the team. In reality, she just wanted to take you and Keeley to a karaoke bar and get absolutely obliterated. You obliged whatever the reason.
The match had gone about as successfully as most Richmond matches, which wasn’t very. You were thrilled to be there, though. The atmosphere of a stadium was unmatched no matter who was winning or losing. You also couldn’t deny that watching your boyfriend chasing a ball all serious-looking and then breaking out into a huge, satisfied grin when he scored made you feel all warm and full of love. You’d follow him anywhere (so long as Rebecca Welton was paying for the private jet to get there).
So, the match was over now, and after meeting with Dani briefly to congratulate him on how well he played, you went your separate ways. You knew he’d likely go out clubbing with the other players, and you’d be out with Rebecca and Keeley, so you’d likely cross paths in a few hours anyway.
Or, at least you thought you’d be out with Rebecca and Keeley.
You were almost ready, just adding a few accessories to your outfit when there was a knock on the door. You huffed in irritation, hating the interruption as you paused your music and made your way over to the door, opening it to reveal Higgins. Will, the kit man, stood behind him looking as awkward as ever.
“Higgins, Will,” you greeted with a small smile and nod. “Is everything alright?”
Higgins nodded an enthusiastic ‘yes’, and then he made that odd choking noise that you dreaded to hear. He pursed his lips, shaking his head before speaking, “I’ve come to let you know that Rebecca isn’t able to make tonight. She had a bit of an accident falling into the canal and rang to say that she’s staying with a friend for the night.”
“Ohh, a friend!” you smirked, your teasing tone pushing through the hint of disappointment you felt. “I hope somebody filmed her fall. Well, I guess Keeley and I will still go out.”
“Keeley might struggle to make it seeing as she is, well, on a plane with Jack,” explained Higgins with an frown. You almost visibly grimaced at the sound of Jack’s name, having agreed with Rebecca that there was something off about her.
“Oh,” you laughed awkwardly, glancing down at your outfit with a hint of sadness. You knew they’d both be having fun, but you wanted to have fun with them, and neither of them had even personally told you that they couldn’t make it. You shook it off, gesturing to your outfit with a shrug before smiling at Higgins and Will. “Well, I’ll just go and change in that case. You two off anywhere nice tonight?”
“The red light district!” said Will excitedly, and you had to hold back a laugh as you wondered if he knew what that meant. “I can’t wait!”
“Yes, some of the best jazz clubs in all of Amsterdam are waiting for us,” said Higgins, sounding more excited than you’d ever heard him. It was sweet. A thought popped into his head then, and he pointed to you with a grin. “You’re more than welcome to join us! You shouldn’t waste a lovely night.”
The question caught you off guard, having never had a proper conversation with either of the men outside of work. But, you figured that if you said no, you’d likely spend the night sat in your room watching TV. Or, worse, you’d end up downstairs with the team as they tried to figure out what to do with their night. They would bicker, Isaac would eventually decide on behalf of everyone, half of them would mope and you could not be bothered to deal with them. It was Amsterdam, and you wanted to drink.
“Yeah! I’d like that,” you beamed, “Let me just grab my phone and key.”
You let the door shut and hurried back into your room, grabbing your phone from the desk and sending a quick text to Dani to let him know what was happening. He sent a few question marks when you mentioned the red light district, but you decided that explanation could wait an eternity. You grabbed your key and before you knew it, you were stuffed in the back of a taxi between Higgins and Will, the three of you loudly singing along to Adore You by Harry Styles and undoubted making the driver deeply regret his career choice.
It wasn’t long until they were in the jazz club, and you were enjoying the vibes of dim lights, the gentle hum of music and a lengthy cocktail menu. Within an hour, you were four cocktails in and felt a happy buzz thrumming through your body, dancing in circles with girls you’d never met and having the absolute time of your life. And then an hour later, you were as energetic as ever, a tequila sunrise in hand nearly spilling out of the glass as you jumped around with Will, the poor boy struggling to keep up with your energy.
“I think it’s about time we head back now,” suggested Higgins, an amused grin on his face as he took the cocktail out of your hand before you almost spilled it down Will’s back. “Early bus tomorrow, unfortunately.”
You pouted, but obliged regardless, turning to wave goodbye to the girls you had danced with before quickly downing your last drink. It stung your throat ever so slightly, causing you to wince before shaking it off and slamming the cup down on the counter. Higgins thanked the Lord that it was a plastic cup, and then he was leading you out of the jazz club, trying not to laugh as you stumbled your way back to the taxi. As you talked on and he made sure you were comfortable and drank water, he was beginning to feel like he’d accidentally adopted a fifth child when he invited you out.
“Thank God,” huffed Higgins when he walked into the hotel, seeing that the entire team was still in the lobby. Then the scene before him caught on, and he was stressed all over again.
The lobby was a complete and utter mess. Feathers were scattered everywhere along with half-empty drinks and stacks of plates, suggesting that they ended up staying in after all. None of them had even noticed the three of you had entered, still laughing and shouting with joy as they beat each other with pillows and childlike grins. It was the scene of absolute joy, and you, in all your drunken glory, wanted nothing more than to join in.
You were dragging Higgins and Will in straight away, the three of you ducking and weaving. The two men were yelling in alarm, but you couldn’t stop giggling, letting go of their hands and running around to hug all of your friends. Then, you spotted a familiar head of raven hair, and you were running as fast as you could, leaping onto his back and nearly knocking him to the floor.
“Dani!” you cheered, arms looping around his neck as you poked your head around and kissed his cheek.
“My love!” beamed Dani, adjusting you so that you were clinging onto his front instead. He pressed a kiss to your lips, eyeing you with an accusatory smirk as he tasted the subtle hints of tequila and orange juice. “Did you have a good time?”
“The best time!” you yawned suddenly, eyes beginning to feel heavy. “Did you?”
“Yes,” grinned Dani, a hand reaching to brush a hair from your face, then cupping your cheek adoringly. “I wanted to go to see a tulip, but this was a lot more fun and a lot less overwhelming, I think.”
“I’ll take you to the tulips,” you murmured, vaguely remembering a field you had seen outside a windmill when you’d taken a walk with Keeley upon arrival. “I want to give you all the tulips in the world.”
“You don’t understand how perfect you are, mi amor,” smiled Dani, gently kissing your forehead. As much as he wanted to spend time with you in a field of flowers, you were literally half-asleep and intoxicated. “Maybe tomorrow, hm? We need to sleep first.”
“Yeah,” you sighed contently, resting your head against his shoulder and smiling warmly. “That sounds good…”
Dani hummed in agreement, about to ask where you saw the tulips when he heard gentle snores coming from you. He smiled, adjusting you ever so carefully so that he wouldn’t drop you on his way to his room.
Isaac noticed Dani walking off with you and turned to shush everyone, the players quieting down momentarily with the exception of a few ‘aw’s’ and camera shutters going off. As soon as the two of you were in the elevator, they resumed the pillow fight, shouts, laughs and feathers filling the lobby again. God, it was beginning to look like a chicken coop had exploded, or a Harry Styles concert with white boas only had taken place there.
Dani walked down the hallway to his room, having no idea how to get to yours and not wanting to wake you to ask. He fumbled with the keycard a little bit, cursing as he dropped it and had to squat down with you in his arms to pick it up. You stirred a little bit at the sudden motion, and Dani came to an immediate halt, thumb rubbing soothing circles on your shoulder as he gently shushed you. He managed to get the key without further disturbance, standing back up and scanning it then nudging the door open with his foot.
Dani didn’t bother turning the lights on, just squinting in the moonlight that shone through the large rectangular window to find his way around. He managed to pull the duvet off the bed just enough to place you under it, taking off your shoes and emptying your pockets before tucking you in. The moonlight looked gorgeous on your face, and he longed to see how it would look in your eyes. Now was not the time for that, Dani realised. You would have many more moonlit nights to come.
So, instead, he smoothed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead, whispering a gentle ‘goodnight, my star’ before going to get changed so he could sleep away next to you.
It was fair to say that you were in a bit of a state. Your head was pounding, and you didn’t recognise the room, only knowing who the room belonged to because of the familiar ‘ROJAS’ jersey strung across an armchair and Dani’s usual array of graphic tees flooding out of a suitcase on the floor. You lover him, but that man was not the tidiest when travelling.
But, as always, Dani was there with ice cold water and a warm smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and tracing circles on from your lower back to your shoulders soothingly.
“Buenos días,” greeted Dani as you came to.
“Hi,” you replied, unable to keep a small smile from your face despite your tiredness when you heard his voice. “Did you have fun last night?”
“Not as much as you,” teased Dani.
“Don’t,” you protested with a groan, finally dropping your hand from your face to see Dani’s amused smirk. “I loved it, but I regret it because my head is spinning. Give me a few hours, though.”
Dani laughed heartily, leaning down to kiss your temple before getting up to get ready. You mirrored his actions, though at a significantly slower pace and not after drinking a bucket load of water and spent a few moments reflecting on the choices that led you to such a violent hangover.
A few hours later, you were ready to board the bus home, opting against Rebecca’s private jet, mainly because she had yet to show up but also because you’d quite like to nap for a few hours with your head on Dani’s shoulder. You had spent the remainder of your morning apart, you going to the market with Colin and Trent to pick up some souvenirs. Well, they were, anyway. Your heart was set on something more important.
“Hi, love,” you greeted Dani when you made it to the bus, dropping your duffel bag with the other luggage for the drivers to put under the bus.
“Hello,” grinned Dani, cooly leaning against the side of the bus as he had been waiting for you. He tucked his phone in the pocket of his suede jacket and then gestured to your arms that were bent behind your back, hiding something. “What have you got there?”
“Tulips,” you smiled, holding out a bouquet of half a dozen yellow tulips. “For you.”
“For me! Dios mio, you are the best,” exhaled Dani, his smile reaching his eyes as he took the flowers and inhaled their scent. “Just as beautiful as I imagined.”
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youredreamingofroo · 2 months
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Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.
i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.
And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.
So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?
I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.
For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.
If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.
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So uh, it's @taznovembercelebration time yet again! I wanted to at least get one out so when i pulled Celebrity AU, i had a pretty perfect opening (because the au that lives in mine and Hali's head is constantly rotating like a chicken in my mind)
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“So that neighbor guy.” Lup states, nary a preamble in the same square mile. She’s perched on the counter, supervising while Taako scrambles a half-dozen eggs. It’s entirely too early or perhaps too late for food, guess it just depends on your perspective. But, far be it from either of them to ever ask for someone else’s perspective.
“He’s certainly a neighbor,” Taako says. He’s not willing to take whatever bait it is that Lup’s dangling. He pokes at the eggs with a spatula and sprinkles a hefty pinch of salt on top, mixing as he goes. 
“He was remarkably kind, given how obnoxious the party was. And his pajamas were awfully cute.” 
Taako fakes a gasp. “Lup, I thought you’re with a very dashing Apple store employee! How quickly your eyes wander.” He hasn’t thought about whatshisname (Kravitz Queen in apartment 22F) since the party he so rudely intruded on. And then fell asleep at. Right at Taako’s own kitchen table. 
She groans and rolls her eyes. “Taako, you’re being purposefully obtuse.” 
“I’ve been told I’m quite acutie.” 
“Awful, I want a new brother.” 
“Sorry, no returns,” he says gleefully. He shuts the burner off and grabs two plates from the cupboard, evenly distributing the eggs across them. “Like. I dunno, Lup, what do you want me to say? He’s cute, sure, but I thought I wasn’t supposed to be pursuing new relationships right now.” That’s what all the doctors at Hollybrook suggested, anyway. He’d rolled his eyes when he first heard that, but as the months have progressed, it’s been a nice break. 
“I’m not saying you need to get married or anything, I’m just saying he’s cute and nice and a musician. Simply stating facts,” she says around a bite of scrambled eggs. “I’m supposed to be on set today, the director apparently has a bold new vision and needs some more cash to make it happen. You wanna come?”
He mulls it over for a moment. “Anyone cool? Last one you produced had that shitbag Jerre whatshisnuts and he was so smarmy at the premiere and I think if I ever saw him again I’d deck him.” 
“No Mr. Whatshisnuts, scout’s honor,” Lup says, giving him a faux-serious two-fingered salute. 
Taako snorts and rolls his eyes. “We were never scouts, goofus. But, nah. I’m going to sit this one out. Probably do some journaling and go to bed.” 
“Okay, call me if you need me. I’ll be back this afternoon, probably. Maybe we can get dinner tonight?” 
He nods. “Sounds good, be safe. Love you.”
“Love you!”
“—And rather than scripting this out, we feel that this sequence is going to be shown best through a kind of dream ballet scene that’ll last for about seven minutes,” The director excitedly explains to Lup. She’s trying hard to focus, she really is, but her phone seems intent on boring a hole through her leg. She sneaks a quick glance to see that she’s missed a fourth call from Lucretia. That’s never good.
“Hey, Todd, love this idea you’ve got going on. My publicist is like, blowing up my phone so let’s regroup in half an hour, okay? Okay!” She says as she extricates herself from the conversation. 
“Luce, what’s up?” Lup asks, just managing to catch this fifth call. 
“I thought Taako was off Twitter for now,” Lucretia says, sounding exasperated. 
“Uh. Well he was while he was in Hollybrook but you said it’d be cool for him to reconnect with the fans now.” 
“Remind me not to have any more stupid ideas.”
“Is it bad?” Lup hasn’t been on the damn app since the last premiere. She usually lets Lucretia handle her social media except for her Letterboxd. 
“Not bad just…thirsty?” 
Lup does her best not to laugh. Well. She makes some attempt to not laugh. “Thirsty?”
Lucretia sighs. “It started off fine, just him tweeting about this musician, but a few fan accounts started stirring the pot and. Well. I guess he��s ‘down horrendously for that kravitz guy’ as @taacocat69420 so eloquently put it.” 
“God he’s a mess,” she says fondly. “I think it’ll be fine though. Kravitz is cool. Hope this gets him some extra streams or something.” 
Kravitz stirs at eleven. He’s a little surprised that his alarm never went off, though a quick glance at his lockscreen lends some light to why. His notifications are atrocious. Good atrocious, it just looks like the whole internet threw up in them maybe. When he finally traces the source of why, he starts to get dressed. Best not to make another pajama clad impression. 
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booksandwords · 3 months
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The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer by Ember White. Illustrated by Marta Maszkiewicz
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Age Recommendation: Pre-School Topic/ Theme: Integrity/ Authenticity (it's all about being true to yourself so...) Setting: Unspecified, America at a guess
Rating: 4/5
I never would have found this or read it without stumbling across the author on social media showing some of their... weirder reviews, and tbh asking for Aussies to balance out the crazy. I saw at least one review calling The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer grooming and to be honest, if you want to see it that way, that's how you will see it. Though why you would choose to see it like that I don't know. That's just weird. To look at this absolutely beautiful book as something with a malicious message is beyond me. I'm glad I did read this though. Not so much for Ember White's story as lovely as it is but for Marta Maszkiewicz's stunning illustrations.
I will make some comments on Ember White's story first. Let me start by sharing a quote from one of Ember White's tumblr posts. "I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story, and this is your story as well." Ember's story is quite unlike anything I've read in a while. Their story is well thought out well, and you can see that all their heart is in their book. You can see that their book is the book that they wish they could of had as a child. Embre gives us Tommy a young boy with a secret. In his case it is a pair of deer antlers that he keeps in a box and a want to be something else. The message of The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer is to just be you. It shows the pain of repression, the pain that happens when you try to be someone you aren't. The phrasing is beautiful and enjoyable. I can see how this could be a very good read-to, it has the right message and easily memorable writing. The choice of a deer as the animal the boy wants to be is a good one. It's one of the animals with the most diverse symbolism some of the basics are harmony, happiness and innocence (phrased as being in touch with your inner child).
I would love to know who paired illustrator, Marta Maszkiewicz and Ember White. Marta's a perfect match style-wise for Ember's script. I adore her beautiful style it feels young and playful when it needs to and adds that moment of darkness when it is necessary. Her dark stormy moments with the purples and blues have the perfect depressing tone for Tommy's sadness. Storms have a rainbow-like background a nice touch. There is a scene where Tommy is looking at potential future careers (doctor, accountant, engineer), I love the choice Marta makes to give Tommy oversized clothes, a child playing dress up. Not just playing dress up but uncomfortable and awkward more than expected. Marta has done a fantastic job of aging Tommy up from his child self to his adult self to his true self. His true self is kinda in the middle in appearance, like he has shed the weight that he was carrying around as an adult that he has now shed. The dance/performance element is executed particularly well. I can sense the movement coming off the page and that outfit is lovely. The final illustration is just beautiful it is light and hopeful and innocent. Honestly, I can't praise the illustrations enough. I really want to find more of Marta Maszkiewicz's illustrations.
This is highly controversial and will remain so. It does what Ember wanted it to, it challenges the status quo and some people aren't ready for that. But some of us, librarians, parents and those outside the neurotypical, cishet sociocultural norms that are ready for it. The ending is unexpected but I really like that The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer chooses to break the conventions that the children's publishing by giving the reader an unexpected ending of fulfilled dreams. I'm happy I read this and I think many others willing to look beyond the judgemental reviews probably will too.
Ember White is @emberwhite on here.
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marsdontbesade · 4 months
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hey guys, i'm back
sorry for the inactivity, just had a really stressful last few days and mental health breakdowns left and right but we're here i guess
sorry if i have not responded to any of your asks or comments, i was just taking a break from social media (or at least communicative social media) for the sake of my mental health, just for a little bit. i might go on another hiatus for the same reason next time, so just giving you a heads up. and yes it will be pretty frequent too.
i'll be back to writing ffs soon. there are still a few trials and tribulations with the ones i was supposed to release last year in late 2023 but my writer's block is so horrible that i just physically avoid tumblr because of my sheer absolute frustuation with my stubborn lack of creativity (if you're a fellow fic writer, you will know). if you have read my guidelines, you'd know how much of a slow writer i am
requests will be temporarily be closed for now, prior to what i just mentioned. i'll be continuing on with the ones i am needing to be posting as of this month - which is the david griffin one. any others will be scheduled for late january or february.
thank you guys for being so patient with me, i hope this isn't a real downer for you all but please do understand me when i say i am a very anxiety-ridden and mental wrecked individual. despite those personal issues, i still do try my best in make the most top quality content. i don't want to keep you all waiting and then let your expectations go to waste. i'm a perfectionist anyways so this will not be happening.
thanks again all, now have a nice day and refreshing start of 2024. happy new year everyone <3
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Cupid's Curse
Chapter Eight
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Steven's dialog from here by @girlwithwolftatoo
Warnings: none i guess
Taglist: @gingermous @mt2sssss @dev-angeline @graciexmarvel
A/N: i blame gifs part 2
Chapter Seven | Chapter Nine
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Steven figured he could not talk to the others about you without judgment and input (from Marc). Jake does not say anything about you and every interaction with you is blocked from either of their mindscape purviews. The third brother is private and quiet and does often hide things from them, but for some reason, the subject about you is particularly one he is tight-lipped about. Either way, Steven went to another person to talk to about his feelings and about the date he had with you during his lunch break.
Good old Crowley! Still doing his living statue business diligently at the plaza remaining in a single position for hours. Steven gives him the usual offering of a vegan burrito and a couple of bucks. He sits down taking his usual spot and starts talking as if catching up with an old friend. Which he is!
“Yes, she could be a crazy criminal, dunno, she looks very nice and-” There was a background given before those words were spoken, even showing a picture of you he took without your notice. Call it even since Marc told him he has seen you take pictures of them.  “I’ve never felt in danger these weeks. But it’s funny, don’t you think?” No response as usual, “ Having someone looking upon you? I should be more careful, I know, but… she’s nice; if we just ignore she’s a little unhinged.” It was nice getting those words off his chest without Marc barking about you being a possible threat! From what he saw this morning: you are just as anxious as he is. Sure he would not go stalking someone if he liked them but to each their own.
Not like you went extreme with it either. Sure you hung around his job for too long to the point J.B. was making conspiracy theories about you and Donna was annoyed you never bought anything from the shop, and then the whole seeing you with what seemed like a different date was odd… Okay, you have some red flags but so does he! The whole sand around his bed, the ankle restraint, what he thought was sleepwalking, the list goes on with him— Them.
His phone goes off and you are texting him about another date for later next week.
“See? She uses emojis too, no way she’s some wanted criminal.” Showing the old man living statue seeing your cute text. "Aw, a puppy gif."
Steven is smiling as he sends you a fish waving gif.
"Thanks for the talk!" 
The man remains still as Steven walks off back to his flat. Silence in his head for a while then when Marc starts to front to do his scouting… In comfort of the flat, Marc freely gives his input.
"You can't be serious," Steven rolls his eyes, "For months! Any normal person would have at least gotten a friend to speak on their behalf to you, but stalking? No, there's no way you can let that slide."
Steven crosses his arms in the reflection as Marc changes to go out at night.
Three dates, all at various times, in public spaces; Marc is not liking how close you are getting with Steven. Close with Steven and still stalking them. Marc decided a background check was in order. Name, address, place of work; the usual. Then he hit a wall. No in depth paperwork on you. Sure there is paperwork on where, when, and what college you went along with the degree (Classics, from what he saw). Your one social media account has pictures of you with friends or past dates, nothing more.
It's as if you suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
Marc has also peeked into the dates between Steven and you, you look so normal and Steven looks genuinely happy to be meeting you.
"They could be working with–"
"Marc, when are you going to stop searching for a reason to keep us from being happy?"
Marc glared at the mirror as Steven stared back with concern.
"No one is saying what she's doing is normal or right… But we aren't particularly normal either by society's view. Okay she watches us but not for nothing Jake has been too and we both know he can be," Gesturing to black box always under the bed. "So."
"It's not that simple, you know that."
"Talking to her is pretty simple."
Because Steven knows once Marc gets you talking they both will share the conclusion that you are no threat to them.
A mouse to a cat it's trying to befriend it.
Or so Steven hopes.
Marc does not know what your angle is but he plans to find out. Why is there little to nothing about you? No parents' names, no former place of living, it's like the bare minimum was done to make sure you are in the system. You simply exist nothing more.
Putting the mystery about you aside, he has Moon Knight business to take care of.
Too many close calls with you getting too close to him and his fights. He worked fast but he had to work fast and hide the evidence of a fight when you were close to finding him again. Luckily tonight no such worries… Bothersome worries.
Based on your texts with Steven, Marc will not have to worry about you following him (not like he was worried outside worried about you getting in his way).
He may dislike you but he doesn't want you dead!
*
The club is one of those 'if you know, you know' clubs. Drinking, drugs, sex, other unspoken shit in the back. Perfect place to hide when everyone around is high on either drugs with too many nicknames and drunk. The real partying is underground in some recently discovered underground tunnels. Since it wasn't all that historically valued, someone bought and revamped it.
Marc stands out in how tense he is compared to all the party goers.
The music is blaring in his ears as sneaks into the club, too many people and too many exits. Too many floor levels but that can be used to his advantage. Right now he is simply scouting. A recon mission to make sure the reminding members of Harrow's cult is actually here. With Ammit and Harrow dead, one would think they would have gone into hiding. Instead, Khonshu has them find the last remaining few who still are brazen enough to keep following Ammit's plan to cleanse the world.
Marc found one in particular who had been smuggling in artifacts with some of Ammit's residual power. Something about worshippers give Gods power.
Weaving through the crowd, Marc never enjoyed these sorts of scenes like Jake. Too many variables and the smell of sweat and alcohol is annoying.
No eres divertido, Marc.
Uncalled for nor asked for plus Jake Lockley only experience with people was either killing them or paying a stripper.
Low blow.
Marc smirks for half a second before his normal stern expression returns the second his eyes (stupid flashing lights) sees someone he recognizes. Now he moves with purpose, eyes locked on the person as they seem to be going into a back room. With every person who bumps into him adds to his annoyance.
Then he touches the arm of a woman with pink hair.
That's where his night is completely lost to him.
Literally completely he blacked out the old way Jake would take over leaving him confused covered in blood.
This time…
*
Marc woke up the next day in an expensive flat, those modern minimalist style ones, on a large bed with a mirror above his head and Steven looking just as confused as him.
Marc, are you okay? What happened?!
Marc holds his head groaning as if he drank all last night, which he didn't.
Where are we?
Marc moves to get up only to stop when he realizes he's naked. Naked and sore, covered with hickeys and lipstick marks. Looking up at the mirror above then the mirror in the large bedroom, his back is a mess with his front no bed.
His clothes are everywhere on the floor, his phone is dead, and he rather not think about how he smells. He puts on half of his clothes while leaving the room when he sees a guy sitting , at what looks to be a kitchen island, drinking out of a mug.
"Mornin'." Greeting him while still reading from his tablet, "There's breakfast made– Not by me. The babe made it before she left." Jerking a thumb to a plate of eggs and sausages covered by a clear plastic wrap. "Hope you like a vegan breakfast."
The man is probably the same age as him, lighter brown hair, goatee, round face; handsome.
"Who are you?"
"Some guy you fucked," Shrugging, "Don't worry about it, this was a damn good one night stand to me; no need for names." Drinking from his mug again, "You can use the shower if you need. Better to be clean than smellin' like you popped your cherry four times over." Laid back, also wearing nothing but shorts, casual about the whole mess.
"Okay." Marc figures a bath is a good idea. "Did you see her, the woman from last night?"
"Yeah, left at the ass crack of the morning. I was only awake 'cause I heard her in the kitchen. Nice chick, shy though. Almost couldn't believe that it was the same lady who deepthroated me." Chuckling  "A damn shame I didn't get her number too."
Marc!? Steven's yell almost made him fall over with how loud he was.
Marc remembers bits and pieces, though mostly vividly recalls sensations rather than specific moments.
Marc's morning is not what he ever expected to happen to him, Jake sure, not him.
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makeitquietly · 1 year
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I do my best to stay away from any social media regarding Laurel and Hardy for obvious reasons, but this one turned up in a photo search the other day and I couldn’t resist. Couldn’t even resist the bloody comments even though I know better. Well, hadn’t anything else to do, so why not just get worked up over a silly post with a few silly comments and inexplicable number of sad-faced smileys...
Can’t say I’m fluent in Facebook or smiley interpretation but aren’t those sad faces in this context either hugely insincere or plain sarcasm? And both of those options kind of tasteless given the situation? I mean, if it weren’t for the sincere-sounding accompanying comments about how sad and tragic the photo is, I’d be sure people are taking the piss. Stan’s visiting Vera at hospital (that’s one weird looking hospital bed and why are there other people behind the bed and wouldn’t it be nice if there was a source for the photo included), Vera’s been drinking & driving, didn’t hurt anyone as far as I know, not even herself, despite the photo giving some eerie last goodbye vibes. So what’s with the pity party?
Stan’s having their photo taken while kissing his wife. Not that it doesn’t reek of a rather desperate publicity stunt but aside from that and the clearly not very discreet or gentlemanly behaviour by him (surely he should’ve forbidden all photos?), where’s the sadness? Lol, Richard W. Bann (a Laurel & Hardy expert) even comments that there are worse photos than this. Okay, but unless he means photos taken without Vera’s agreement, maybe. Show them then. It’s just that I get the feeling it’s Stan kissing his wife that’s supposed to be the bad part. Which is weird.
Also, when someone doubts it’s Stan in the photo, the original poster says that it really is “even if it hurts to see him like that”. Like what? Kissing his wife? I don’t get it. I mean, of course I do, from past experiences and also from some of the other comments doing the cultish “poor Stan, bad luck with wives” routine, but I’d like to think nobody would still be doing that crap. So fucking old and tired. Well, me too, but at least I don’t fangirl like Stan was some brain-dead moron without a mind of his own, helplessly used by wives he was never forced to marry etc. Like, give it a fucking break already.
Maybe Stan wanted the photo to be taken because he was, if not necessarily completely gentlemanly, then at least thinking about the headlines and decided to show that he stood by his wife regardless. I mean, there are other photos where Vera looks alive and well and neither seems to be bothered about the photos been taken. Most likely for publicity then, right?
And it wouldn’t be a post about Stan and Vera if somebody didn’t bring up the tale below, which of course makes a change from the miserable marriages being pitied. Sadly(?) though, there’s no proof of it being true either, despite what Richard W. Bann (still a Laurel & Hardy expert) claims. Why is it always this particularly story and this exact version of it? Minus the “kicked out of Beverly Hills” bit, which sounds new and hilarious.
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Did some scrolling and I guess Michael “Stan really had a very difficult time with her” Ehret qualifies as a Laurel and Hardy expert too:
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😀🙄😛😥
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countlessrealities · 1 year
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10. Would you be friends with your muse if they were real? 5. Least favourite thing about roleplaying? 20. How do you overcome writer’s block?
Munday Meme || Accepting !
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5. Least favourite thing about roleplaying? If we're talking about RPing in general, I guess that the thing I hate the most is the fact that it's hard to find RP partners who are willing to put in as much effort as you do in the interactions. I've found myself being the one who has to carry the plot forward, to bring up ideas, to reach out, etc. while the other person just sat there and watch me do it. I find that it's simply insane to see how many people forget that RPing is supposed to be a shared experience and that your writing partner isn't your fanfiction vending machine or whatever. You can see this extremely well on Tumblr because there are people who never send you stuff when you repost memes (and I'm not saying interaction memes, I'm talking about stuff like this one for the mun) and the likes, even if you have always tried to be a good mutual and sent them stuff whenever you had the chance. They act like all this is owed to them and never think that, maybe, it would be nice to return the interest, from time to time. This level of selfishness really makes me want to jump in their IMs and tell them that they are a selfish asshole. Because sending a meme? It literally takes 10 seconds. If we're talking about RPing on Tumblr specifically...there's a long list that things I hate or can't stand. I guess that, if I had to choose, it would be the fucking purity police attitude that has infected this hellsite, including the rpc. It irks me beyond measure to see people ostracized just because they had certain ideas about a character's portrayal or because they enjoy exploring through writing themes that are considered "problematic" because they are too dark or whatnot. And don't get me started on anon hate.
10. Would you be friends with your muse if they were real? I like to think that I could get along with some of them? Mabel and Morty for sure, and I think I could make friends with Summer and Adrien too. Maybe with some work Stan, especially because I'd let myself be roped into his cons, and Millie. Jinx would be very hit or miss. Everyone else it's a lot trickier. As much as I wish I could be their friends, I think that the rest of my muses wouldn't give enough of a damn about me, or maybe find me annoying or boring xD
20. How do you overcome writer’s block? Bold of you to assume that I can overcome it x'D Kidding aside, it depends. My ability to write is very intimately tied to my moods and levels of mental energy. There are times where I just need to switch to writing something else for a while and the inspiration comes back on its own easily enough. Other times I have to sit and make myself write. The first few paragraphs come out shitty and I get frustrated real easily, but after a while I manage to get back in the flow and that's how I get over it. It can take a lot of effort, but at the end of the day is usually worth it. And then there are the times when all I can do is waiting it out. They are the worst, and the most exasperating, but nothing can be done about it. It usually means that my mental health is doing real bad (whether I feel it or not), and it's the sign that I need a break from social medias / writing in general.
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llitchilitchi · 1 year
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It really is easy for our perceptions about follow counts to be skewed, both as “small” accounts and as “big” accounts. I won’t lie, I’m still learning to distance myself from making negative comparisons between myself and others. Somehow, that’s gotten both easier and more difficult here on tumblr. It’s easy to look at the amount of interactions my friends and mutuals get, and then spiral into feeling like despite my work, I’m not doing enough to be noticed. BUT that’s also forced me to step back and think “wait, I don’t even know how many followers they have. For all I know they could have less followers than me but are just much better at interacting with others.”
It’s an…interesting situation, I guess?
yesss I agree with all this wholeheartedly! I remember being really excited about getting a lot of asks when I had about 75 followers on a very old account, but then on a different account I had maybe 500 followers and little to no interactions, so what we see on the tl is not really indicative of how things are. imo it's a pretty nice thing that we can't see someone else's follower count, that's at least one stressful thing to not think about
to be honest, this stuff really got to me about a year ago and I had to take a couple months break from social media. it helped, though coming back was a little scary afterwards. it did help with getting me to stop looking at certain numbers so hard, at least
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asterealain · 3 months
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Wanting to quit art already...
So after giving myself a false sense of security in my skills from my first piece of "art" - which was mostly done thanks to tracing and very little of my own skill...yesterday I started properly trying to actually draw something myself. It was a disaster from the start, but I managed to get through the head and face with a lot of editing, layer correcting, etc.
Today it came time to do the hair...and I was so insanely bad at it that I came close to deleting the whole project and calling it quits. I took a couple breaks and tried to go back to it, but it was never getting any better. I looked at countless references, I studied how other people draw hair, and I understood and saw HOW they did it just fine. It all clicked so easily. But then I pick up the pen and just...can't. No matter how much in my head I understood it and knew what to do, I couldn't. Every line was wrong, every edge was wrong. It looked like some ugly emo helmet sitting on top of the head.
I added a bit of shading which helped...marginally. But it's still absolutely horrible. Just thinking about it makes me tear up. I look at what other people call a 'work in progress' and they all might as well be calling the mona lisa a wip because even these 1/4th complete projects looks better than my "finished" one.
I tried so hard to be easy on myself and remind myself I'm new and I have to start somewhere and learn and practice but...this is just reminding me of why I never did physical drawing either. Mistake after mistake and not even being able to erase them all. I thought digital art would be better because i could have layers and an endless amount of erases and undos...
But even then, you don't. eventually the layers just started fucking up other layers below it. I couldn't find things I was looking for to fix and had to re-draw stuff because I couldn't find it in my dozens of layers.
After all these hours I look at the 'finished' thing and just want to cry. It's just hideous. And what's worse is that it was meant to be a surprise for someone but there is no way i could give them THAT. A 8 year old could have done better than that.
Why am I so bad at everything I try? I was so happy to dip my toes in digital art but unless I'm just stealing from someone else I can't do it at all. I know in my head that nobody is perfect, it's not a race, mistakes are fine, all that nice fluffy stuff. But it doesn't help any. Not when I've never been good at anything at all. I guess I'm just going to toss digital art in my pile of failed attempts. At least the tablet I bought was cheap so it won't feel as bad collecting dust alongside all my other failed hobbies.
Why can't I just be good at something like everyone else? to think I opened up all these social media accounts and acted like I was going to be some amazing artist...I'm just a fraud.
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tsvai · 9 months
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update: the dashboard unfucker script is not responsible for the 'classic search' xkit unwritten feature breaking (while it worked at first without the script, now it doesn't work with or without the script), so i guess i should submit a bug report to the xkit github lmao.
however something the script definitely does break is tag tracking+ as w/ the script, the tracked tags still show up in my sidebar, but for some reason the unread count won't update when i go to the tag and look at the new posts :') i tested that w/o the script active and the unread count updated when i revisited the tag feeds.
edit: while doing some careful last minute testing before actually submitting the bug report, i actually got classic search to work both without AND with the script - using the search history instead of retyping the search anew apparently just isn't affected by classic search, and i was so tired that i had only been testing by doing that.
that still leaves the script breaking tag tracking+, but at least one problem is solved lmao. aug 17 edit: tag tracking+ is still not working quite the way it used to but i've figured out how to get it to update the unread count. meanwhile an issue where the 'restore links to individual posts in the post header' tweak reverts, but refreshing the page seems to fix it, so i just kind of expect to have to refresh my dashboard more often than i used to (rather than just clicking the home button twice because just clicking once hasn't been enough for a long time now, functional website), considering how often i use that particular tweak.
in other news, i have a whole ass essay that's been eating at me for the last 24 hrs, and i'm just dumping it here instead of making a whole post about it, because frankly i'm just whining and i don't really want to clog people's dashboards up with it.
im pretty Tired at this point and i've lost any of the remaining 'good will' i had left toward staff. while i've been at least semi-critical of a lot of their more questionable shit for years now, i'd still been trying to give them the benefit of the doubt through gritted teeth.
but this latest fiasco has really reminded me that whoever's making these decisions definitely doesn't care about what the userbase wants even a little, and they are going to prioritize their 'metrics' or wtf ever buzzword they keep using over actual human feedback every time. i have been extraordinarily naive in hoping that things wouldn't get worse, i suppose because i've really enjoyed my eleven years here until now and i wanted to believe that this site wasn't going to go the way that most other older social media is going.
i think as time goes on i'm actually more upset about staff telling us that they care about our feedback and then in spite of that, pushing an update that received a very negative reaction in testing (publicly, at least) without even the courtesy of a toggle option at least, than i am about the actual update.
while a fair amount of the userbase response has been pretty vitriolic and people have said some shit that there's not really any excuse for (threats of bodily harm over a shitty ui update are unhinged behavior - i sent feedback myself that was pretty irritated but at least i was civil comparatively, damn), i saw a few employee blog responses that were unprofessional at best, which was extremely disheartening, since, y'know, i guess i'd hoped they could be more mature than the userbase.
i don't really expect to be here anymore a year or two from now. it would be really nice if a few days from now staff prove me wrong by indicating that they've taken the user response seriously and like, idk, at least giving us an option to choose between the old ui and the new one, but at this point i'm not really getting my hopes up (esp bc there are more problems than the update - like the rumors i've been hearing about the way certain types of content on the site have been moderated).
honestly i kind of expect to just tiredly patch shit up with increasingly more extensions as the site slowly goes down in flames. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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cephalofrog · 11 months
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alright succession final season liveblogging time, starting with episode 1
feel free to block if you don’t wanna see these posts
warning that I am a dumbass. so these posts are likely to be less “wow the themes” and more “kendall you stupid fuck”
I watched the rest of it in the background whilst grinding the current project sekai event. but I wanna focus properly on the final season so I’ll be watching it during the breaks I take
also I already watched episode 1 but I’ll rewatch it to start out
- there aren’t any huge changes I’m noticing in the intro. the biggest shift was s1 to s2 where the final shot went from only having kendall to having all four of the kids. I do wonder if that was related to the show deciding to focus on the kids other than ken more past s1? it’s just guesswork but I do feel like the seasons past 1 had more roman/shiv screentime proportionally at least. connor still gets very little focus though which makes sense.
- starting the final season on logan’s next birthday. back to where we began
- here are the kids! failed upwards of course. my own hopes of getting to see them working at mcdonalds were sadly dashed
- roman has a slightly shorter hairstyle! it looks good.
- ken has settled on a happy medium between “trashfire” and “personification of a business degree”
- it is kinda nice that every other time ken failed to kick out logan he ended up being basically kicked to the curb and spiralling horribly but this time he’s pretty much doing fine since the siblings are also there.
- can’t wait for this peace to be ruined!
- shiv also got a new hairstyle! I did kinda prefer her last one but this one is pretty nice.
- new T (not tom)
- the business talk in this show only ever makes sense to me in hindsight
- not even attending logan’s birthday! good for them
- greg has discovered the concept of dating
- chekhov’s discussion over greg’s date leaking details
- hi tom
- this relationship is as weird as ever
- during my first watch I was checking for wedding rings during this scene. I don’t think tom is wearing one, which makes sense I guess? shiv still has one - I think she makes up her mind about actually divorcing during the later scene in order to sell the buyout to the pierce guys.
- “we have the ethos of a non-profit” fuck off kendall
- chekhov’s social media post has been spotted
- connor on the president thing again
- not gonna lie I kinda expected it to work out for him. glad it isn’t though
- “which is great, cause conversation’s important to be inside of” thanks greg
- “if we’re good, we’re good” I like it logan. means you aren’t technically lying if you’re planning on instantly getting rid of tom
- “fearless fighter of the good fight” okay ken. I bet that totally stuck after you gave up on that whole thing
- “a ludicrously capacious bag” rich people scare me
- “another tick on the chart” okay greg
- I wonder if there are people out there who take greg’s character as being like oh, he’s a cool normal guy! he’s just tangled up in all this but he’s a good guy really! when in reality, while, yeah, people did take advantage of him due to him not being particularly savvy, he also is very much unopposed to the exploitation that supports his lifestyle, and still feels pretty obviously entitled to the products of that exploitation. he’s not a good person just cause he’s too much of a dumbass to realise that he’s being shitty.
- not the display towels!
- not the opera!!!
- “I got ATN, plus pierce” he doesn’t know
- “just think about how fucking funny it would be if we screw dad” that’s not putting aside the family stuff kendall
- logan do you have any actual pals (no)
- logan economics 101 smalltalk
- logan this is a lot to just talk to someone about
- connor wants to turn his wedding into Content(tm)
- how did I only just realise that him wanting to be president isn’t just cause he’s a narcissist, it’s also cause he wants the others to actually consider him to be important and noticeable
- honestly tom is probably lying about the CCTV thing. I guess I wouldn’t put it past logan but he seems too busy for all that tbh
- ooh, someone making a rival bid! who could it possibly beeee
- these rich people travel between places so fast
- butter my beanpole!
- speaking of my earlier greg comments
- this lady has such an accent
- it’s all wrapped up...... unless............
- I appreciate the fact that shiv absolutely does hold those values, like she’s not lying or anything - she’s just... willing to compromise a bit.
- logan missing roman I see
- this week’s show of who can say the bigger number!
- putting the L in logan
- technically this is a bad thing since it means they’re gonna have to actually deal with him again. but it is fun to see him lose for once
- shiv’s apartment is so huge. I like it but would personally prefer a slightly smaller one - I wouldn’t be able to walk around one that big in the dark tbh.
- (the main thing I am jealous of the characters in this show for is the apartments they can afford)
- I guessed less than a year for these two and I was right!
- their relationship is so weird. like can you not deal with just fucking other people and also each other pretty regularly? I guess they aren’t really in love either though so whatever. I’m not good at relationships so I guess I don’t really get the emotions behind them failing.
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jsalim-art · 2 years
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Dont mind me venting and rambling about how being here has affected my mental health:
Hours ago it was the 8th of August which would have been my dog Buddha's 14th birthday (he crossed the rainbow bridge back in 2020). I like to think I am one to hold my composure/stoic about my feelings but I still find myself bursting into tears when I think of him. 2 years of not having him in my life still hurts like hell. If I wasn't stuck here in UAE and back in Canada I would make a dog friendly cake which I would present to Nala my current dog who would appreciate a treat even though she has no concept of time and is not aware of her brother having a birthday regardless and take her to one of the nice parks in memory of my old dog. But I'm not there and my sister and I are currently feeding the 4 stray dogs that like to hang around the family home. My sister and I bought some beef liver and some mcdonalds burgers that we teared up and put on some paper plates for them to eat which they obviously happily eat. We thought they should have something "nice" instead of the usual kibble and scraps we feed them. And for us humans got some small cakes that we enjoyed.
It's a small happiness for these animals. Otherwise while I'm happy about making sure these dogs (and cats too) are fed my heart is still breaking at the idea of the fate of these strays and im very aware about UAE's stance in stray animals. I'm aware this is the life they have always known and I made the big mistake of growing attached to them (considering my sister got me involved so i can't back out of this regardless). I didn't want to be attached but considering the proximity of me seeing them everyday guess who sorta tears up whenever the strays are being affectionate towards me?
The most I feel we could do other than feed them is at least get them TNR spay/neutered so they won't multiply they are pretty well fed for strays since other than myself and my sister feeding them the locals around the neighborhood feed them to.
And I guess we want the impossible to happen as in to get them adopted/fostered back to Canada or so if not UAE (since we have reaally bad luck for a shelter to take them in since all rescues and such are full). I have actually gone to every social media I have (I'm not proud I have those but my sister thinks since I am more immersed in the internet more than her has been urging me to do it which I have and felt like I made a fool of myself but I did the best I can).
There is a 95% chance we may never find someone to take them in at all and it saddens me. It's sad because I feel these animals deserve a good life that doesn't involve surviving for food and staying away from the heat. I dont know how destroyed I'll be mentally after this cause I've gone too deep with this considering it's just my sister and I helping them and everyone family wise around us are basically making us feel we are wrong helping these dogs and cats instead of like ignoring them considering they are within proximity of the family home that we regularly interact with them so it's impossible to ignore them.
Maybe because I had the privilege of living in a western country (Canada) that probably cares more for animals than where I am right now (UAE) but but is it wrong of my sister and I to want to help them? Even if it's at least to spay/neuter them? I don't know what's going to happen to them but I sure as he'll that my sister and I are going to do the best we can that these strays are fed well as long as we are here in UAE. Regardless I probably need to get therapy after this considering not only the stress of dealing with the strays there's also stupid family drama bullshit that I contemplated why I even bothered to agree to coming here in the first place when I know I'm going to be facing heartbreak and sadness all over like slap some clown makeup on me and call me Bobo the fool....I just wish things were easier cause I can't compart my feelings and priorities in boxes out of this.
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