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vase-of-lilies · 10 months

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Sunday, Funday

❀ Mommies!WandaNat x Little!reader (f)

❀ MD/LG dynamics, fluff, forehead kisses🥺, featuring Pietro!

❀ Request: mommies!wandanat having a fun day with little!r

❀ A/N: Thank you for the request, @fragilepuppi! I have adored and absolutely loved all of your requests so far. So thank you so so much! Sorry it took so long to post, I had written it but just hadn't posted it yet! But I hope you like it! This is a part of the Into the Tiny Verse series:)

“Mommy!!!! Mama!!!!!! Its Sunday!!!!!!!” You happily whisper-shout as you jump onto Wandas and Natashas shared bed.

Unbeknownst to you, they were already awake, smiling to each other as they hear your pitiful attempt to be quiet in their room as you try to sneak up on them. Natasha is a spy, if she can hear a pin drop in a room full of talking and dancing people, then she can hear your soft pattering feet against her carpet.

Wanda on the other hand, she knew you were coming in for the soul fact that she is emotionally connected to you. Her telekinetic abilities sensed that you were awake, and in need of something but felt your presence come closer to her. She knew you were on your way.

Once you climbed onto your mommies bed, they pretended they were asleep so you could have the pride of giving them the element of surprise. Natasha smiled and kissed your forehead as you smushed your way in between her and Wanda, and you smiled up at her.

“S’sunday mama! We gotta go have fun!” What you meant by that was a tradition that Wanda and Nat started with you where every Sunday the three of you would go out to get ice cream and go to the secluded park that stark built just for you and Peter. Your favorite part of the park was the tire swing that was connected to the large weeping willow surrounding the park. You could swing on it all day if you had the chance!

Your mommies helped you get ready for the day, helping you into your favorite pink, ruffly dress, the one with the bunny eating a carrot on the front, sat your wiggly body down on the couch to help you get your shoes on, and finally your jacket that you were stubborn about putting on. “But m’gonna get hot, mommy!” You whined as Wanda gently pulled your arms through the holes of your jacket.

“Sweetheart, its raining outside and its only 60 degrees. You are wearing your coat or we will have to have a fun day at home.” Wanda said in a stern but gentle voice. You sighed and nodded in understanding as she zipped your jacket up to the top. The two women smiled at your appearance and took a sweet little picture of you, grumpy face and all.

“Alright, do you want Peter to come with us?” Natasha asked, and you immediately shook your head.

“No! Only wan mama and mommy,” you looked up at them and they looked like they were waiting for something else. “Please?” You finished, remembering to use your manners. Wanda smiled and held out her hand.

“Alright, just us three! Lets go get your ice cream, and then we can go to the park. Sound good my little one?” She says and eagerly take her hand, pulling her to the door. Natasha shakes her head with a chuckle and follows along, getting her wallet ready for all the sprinkles you want on your [your favorite ice cream flavor] cone you get. As you skip along the hallway, they look at you in adoration, taking each others hands as they walk behind you.

Leaving the compound was easy as everyone knew about yours and Peters ‘situations’. And with how powerful the avengers were, no one questioned what was going on. Sure some people gave judgmental looks, but they didn’t care. All it took to get someone running away was a glare from Nat and a glow-of-the eyes from Wanda. They took care of you and protected you with everything they had.

As you got to your favorite Ice Cream parlor, you smiled up at the ice cream man. He was your favorite person to see other than your mommy and mama, of course! His name you didn’t know, but all you knew was he gave you extra ice cream scoops when your mommies were not looking. Wanda knew him personally and gave him a hug every time she saw him. They kind of look alike… you thought to yourself. But you shook off the thought and continued to watch as he poured extra sprinkles onto your cone.

By the time you had gotten to the park, your face was covered in icy goodness and your hands were a sticky mess. Luckily Wanda was prepared and brought some water and soap, quickly cleaning you up before you went to play. Immediately when you were let go, you ran straight to the tire swing. It was like the playground didn’t even exist! Wanda and Nat followed you, knowing exactly what you were going to ask for next.

As if on cue, you ask “Mommy? Mama? Can you p’ease push me? Wanna go sup’ high!”

With a big smile, Nat takes the first push, Wanda sitting down on the swing first and you happily climbing onto her lap. She wraps her arms around your waist and holds you against her tightly, not wanting you to fall off. Natasha pushes you both, the swing starting to move front and backwards. Your belly filled with butterflies as you soared through the air on the swing, your smile never falling! Your mommies loved it when you smiled like this, not a care in the world. Nothing could stop you form being this happy in this moment. Except one thing…

“Ok little one, its time to go home,” Natasha said, an hour later as you were now swinging alone while Wanda sat down on the bench. Your brows furrowed and you shook your head, holding onto the ropes of the swing with an iron grip. Natasha sighed and slowed the swing down, thinking to herself how cute you are, yet how stubborn and unwilling to leave something you loved behind for a couple days.

“Noooooo, wan’ stay here forever…” you say weakly, getting sleepy from playing so long. Your mommies knew that it was time for your nap, and you knew it too but was having too much fun. Wanda gathered your things, and stood up. Walking over to the swing she knelt down.

“Come on baby, we gotta get you down for your nap. Look how sleepy she is, Nat I don’t think that Bubbles would be too happy napping alone at home.” She brought your stuffy into this and your eyes watered.

“Don wan bubbles to be alone!” You said, jumping off the swing and into Wandas arms. She smiled and gently kissed your head, letting you fall asleep in her arms as she carried you back to the compound. As your head laid on Wandas shoulder, Natasha watched over you two from behind you, watching you like a hawk. Your hand hung against Wandas back and Nat took that opportunity to clasp a charm bracelet around your wrist, a small token of their love to you, and a little surprise for when you woke up.

Opening your nursery door, you felt Wanda lay you down in your bed, and you whined. You wanted to stay with your mommies, and nap with them. “M-mommy mama….” They knew you were too little to form any sentences now, so they obliged to your silent command and took you to their bed instead, Bubbles’s fluffy paw clenched in your fist. As they laid down with you, Wanda smiled at your sleeping form, sighing as you finally hit your dreaming state.

“We need a better way to have her listen when its time to go…” Wanda said to Nat, who fully agreed with her.

“Until then, lets just stick with bubbles being lonely without her. She has the biggest heart and would hate to keep him waiting. I bet she will wake up and want Bubbles to have a bottle too.” Natasha chuckles and wraps her arms around you and Wanda, relaxing into the bed with you and her wife in her arms. All safe and sound.

#wandanat x reader #Mommy!wandanat x little!reader #Wanda x reader #Wanda x female reader #wanda x little reader #Wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x little reader #mommy natasha x little!reader #natasha x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #WandaNat x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #Wanda Maximoff #Little reader #into the tiny verse #the toy lion the scarlet witch and tiny in the wardrobe

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blessedwithabadomen · 2 months

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in love with the mess - day eight

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (oral m & f receiving), angst, drinking, little bit of fluff

length : 5.6k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy

a/n : It's @spikeisdaddy's birthday today! Hope you enjoy the chapter 😉

•••

day eight

We spent the night away from each other and even though we’d all just agreed to only focus on having some fun, it felt like the loneliest night yet. I found myself tossing and turning and reaching out for people who weren’t there. It seemed stupid, really. We’d only done the whole sleepover endeavour once, yet I missed it as if it was the norm. I was tired and restless when my alarm went off. At least today involved no travelling. As much as I enjoyed getting around, I needed a restful day.

If the universe decided to be gentle with me and allow me one.

I was in the middle of trying to decide whether I should call Lia or finally get back at my roommate and whatever bad news I assumed she had to tell me, when my phone displayed a new, private message from Noah.

Noah How did you realise you enjoyed giving blowjobs

I was still in shock at the words I was reading when another text came in.

Noah Okay maybe it was rude to assume you enjoyed giving blowjobs, dismiss that part Aubrey Noah, my love, I’m going to need a lot more context for this question Noah Absolutely not Aubrey Give me your room number, I’m coming over Noah Folio’s here Aubrey FINE come to mine then No more excuses

Noah, luckily, obliged. I didn’t have to kick Oli’s arse into gear for another two hours, really, so there was more than enough time to deal with whatever Noah needed to discuss. Not that I didn’t have an idea what was on his mind. But I wouldn’t let him off the hook so easily. He’d have to say it out loud to get any help from me.

When I opened the door to Noah, he was blushing deeper than I’d ever seen him and I couldn’t help pulling him down for a quick kiss just for the sheer adorableness. Then I pushed him into the room, walking him backwards until he sat down on the edge of my bed and mustered him from above.

“So?” I asked, eyebrows raised. “What possessed you to get up this morning and type that exact message into our chat?”

“Nothing, it was just a question!” Noah exclaimed as if I would believe it.

“Sure. You just happen to wonder, out of nowhere, about giving blowjobs.”

“What if I am?”

“You’re not though.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

He tried to look stern, but the lingering red colour on his cheeks didn’t do him any favours. We were at a stalemate, staring at each other, trying to force the other to budge through the sheer pressure of silence. But he had no idea how stubborn I could be.

He broke sooner than anticipated.

“Fine, Folio made a stupid comment about when I was going to suck Oli’s dick and then it wouldn’t leave my head.”

“Because you’re interested in it?” I asked, carefully, stroking his head as I stepped a little closer. He immediately spread his thighs so I could move between them, looking up at me with wide eyes.

“I don’t know,” he answered, honestly. I could see the torment in his eyes, the question of whether he dared to go further, of what he wanted, of what Oli would let him do.

“Well, I guess you won’t know unless you try. But…” I sank down on my knees in front of him. “I could always show you how it’s done, if you're nervous about that.”

Noah’s laboured breathing was answer enough and when my hands reached for his belt, he leaned back instinctively, giving me more space to work with. I made quick work of undoing his belt, opening the button and fly of his trousers. He willingly lifted his hips so I could push the fabric down, immediately removing his boxers along with it.

Noah was hard. My mouth salivated just from looking at it.

“Thinking about doing this to Oli got you all excited, hm? He’s gorgeous, you know. I got to see it once, up close, just as hard as you are now.” My hand softly grabbed onto his dick, giving him a few teasing strokes. He sighed in relief. “He came all over my chest. But you? You get to come in my mouth. If you want to.”

I fluttered my eyes at him. Noah couldn’t nod fast enough, holding eye contact with me as I lowered my head and gave him a long lick, tasting all of him from his base to his tip.

“You want to start slow, you know?” I mused, before repeating my action. “Tease him a little. Get him all hot and bothered.” My hand was moving when my tongue wasn’t on him. “See what he’s into.”

I let my tongue twirl around his head a little and then, almost unexpectedly, engulfed it in my mouth. Noah groaned beautifully, a hand now holding the back of my head, I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it. I tasted the precum already dripping, savouring the slightly bitter taste just because it was him before moving away again.

“Putting your mouth on him is when it gets really good. Don’t aim for too much if you’re not used to it.” I took him a bit farther into my mouth, just for a moment, then I withdrew. “Try to figure out what he's into. I think Oli can be pretty loud so that wouldn’t be a problem.” I grinned up at him, but he didn’t manage to look back at me for long.

As soon as my mouth was on him again, he threw his head back, eyes closed in pleasure. It was straining to look up at him from my position but I couldn’t help trying to see every now and then, trying desperately to commit the image to mind.

Noah was turning into a moaning, trembling mess, quickly. I was rhythmically moving my mouth over his dick now, taking him as far as I comfortably could, my hand covering the rest of his length. He was heavy on my tongue, slightly thick, perfect. His hand was fully grasping my hair now, bordering on painful, but I enjoyed it all the same. I knew he was going to come soon.

Going a little faster still, working my mouth and hand in tandem, it didn’t take much more for him to fall apart. His deep groan vibrated somewhere deep inside me as he came, keeping me in place as I swallowed it all, just as I had promised.

When I finally pulled off, Noah bonelessly fell backwards, breathing hard and I had to chuckle at how my efforts had worked out.

“So, what do you say?” I asked, even though I was unsure he was hearing me just yet. “Want to give it a try? I could shoot Oli a text right now.”

I didn’t expect him to agree.

“Text him,” he murmured. “But stay.”

I wasn’t one to refuse. My underwear was already uncomfortably wet. Now I was getting to see Noah give Oli his first ever blowjob? It was going to be the most delicious torture.

Still, I crawled up onto the bed quickly, taking Noah’s face between my hands and making him look at me. His eyes were glazed, but his mind seemed clear.

“Sure?”

He pulled me down for a kiss, not caring where I’d literally just had my mouth.

“So sure.”

Aubrey Come over. Noah wants to blow you.

Noah had barely come back to life and managed to get properly dressed again when a knock sounded through the room. Of course, Oli would waste no time at all after getting that message. I opened the door to a very flustered and out-of-breath singer, even though the way from his room to mind hadn’t even been remotely long enough to get so worked up. Apparently the idea was more than appealing to him.

“Is this for real?” he asked the second he entered the room, moving past me just to check if Noah was really there. “Because if not I got a boner for nothing.”

I didn’t know what, exactly, I had been expecting. But it surely wasn’t Noah all but flying off the bed, pressing Oli against the wall and falling to his knees.

“Someone's eager,” Oli chuckled, lifting Noah's head with two fingers under his chin to force him to look at him. “Let's see what you got then.”

I found my place on the singular armchair in the room, right next to them, seating myself on the arm rest to assure I would have the best view of it all. Noah deftly pulled down Oli's sweatpants, revealing both the fact that he wasn't wearing any underwear and that he was growing considerably harder with every passing second. For a moment, Noah hesitated, hands resting on Oli's tattooed thighs, before looking up at me. I gave him a quick nod. It was all the reassurance he needed.

If Noah had indeed not touched a single dick that wasn't his own, he did a mighty fine job of hiding it. I watched in awe as he teased Oli with his hands, then his tongue, quickly reducing the other to a man made of nothing but groans and desire. The heat between my legs was becoming almost unbearable at the sight in front of me, two absolutely gorgeous men completely lost in their lust, but touching myself wasn't an option. I couldn't risk missing a single moment of what was happening.

“Fuck, Noah,” Oli moaned. “Don't…” How voice wavered a little as Noah wrapped his lips around his cock. “Don't take me too deep, you gotta sing tonight.”

With a hand in Noah's hair, Oli tried desperately to control the other man's sloppy but eager actions. Noah's nails were clawing into Oli's thighs, desperate for something to hold onto. My hands balled into fists at my sides, my thighs clenched. I hadn't entertained the idea that watching a man I was attracted to give a blowjob to another, equally attractive man could be a major turn on, but my bodily reactions were impossible to ignore.

Abruptly, Noah took Oli deeper, much deeper, leaving him to fall apart in an instant. Under chants filled with more profanity than I had ever heard, Oli came in Noah's mouth, back arching away from the wall, eyes squeezed shut. As soon as the feeling started to subside, Oli let go of Noah's hair and sunk down into his knees in front of him.

“Fucking hell, I told you not to do that.” His voice was harsh as he scolded Noah, but his fingers were soft as he wiped Noah's mouth clean. “You better rest your voice for the rest of the day.” Oli's eyes flickered up to me. “But I think there's some more work for your mouth to do.”

Suddenly, both pairs of eyes were on me. Oli’s face showed a grin, while there was nothing but hunger to be found in Noah’s glance. If it hadn’t been so fucking hot, it almost would have been intimidating.

In a few short steps, Noah was stood in front of me, heavily grasping my wrists to study the way I was still forming fists with my hands.

“On the bed. Now.”

“Voice rest, Noah!” Oli called from where he still sat on the floor. I studied him for a moment, looking utterly fucked out, eyes still half-lidded, pants still shoved down, not even bothering to tuck his dick back in. It shouldn’t have looked so tempting, really. Then I remembered Noah’s stern voice and when I looked up at him, I knew I better do as told.

He let go of me as I stood up, letting me crawl onto the bed until I was laying on my back in the middle of it, knees propped up and slightly spread to let my skirt fall open just that little bit. It wasn’t even close to being enough for Noah. With a predatory groan he came to kneel in between my legs, roughly pushing the fabric upwards and my thighs further apart and -

“Fuck,” he mumbled, hands tightly holding onto my legs, but his eyes were fully fixated on my left thigh.

I knew he had seen a hint of the tattoo before, as had Oli, but none of them had had the chance to admire it from the position it was meant to be looked at. The snake curled around my upper thigh, its tail end right in front in the middle, going around it once and then ending on my inner thigh, the snake’s tongue out, just mere moments away from my panties, as if ready to pounce any minute. Noah traced it, all the way, fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. I gasped when they reached the sensitive skin on the inside of my thigh, so close to where I wanted him. But before I could even think about begging, pleading, crying for more, his mouth descended on my flesh, leaving a bite on the head of the snake that bordered on pain. I moaned all the same, the pure satisfaction of the sensation overpowering any possible negative feelings.

“You’re fucking naughty, you know that?”

I wasn’t sure if I had ever heard Noah talk like that but combined with his low voice it left me trembling. His fingers were now at the edges of my underwear between my legs and then, without any warning, brushed my clothed centre.

“And so wet. Did you get off on blowing me or watching me suck Oli off? Probably both. Probably doesn’t take much to get you in this state.”

It didn’t. Not when it came to those two. Every look, every touch, every kiss constantly threatened to soak my panties. In fact, it routinely did. I was twitching under him now, unable to keep my reactions under control at the proximity of his face to my pussy. He finally took pity on me, roughly wrecking the panties from my legs, pulling them down and throwing them some place I couldn’t see, before grabbing and spreading my thighs again. I didn’t have it in me to feel self-conscious at the way he mustered me, committing my naked form to memory, I just needed his hands or his mouth or anything.

“Stop moving,” he grumbled before finally putting his mouth on me and I couldn't hold back a shout, the nerve endings firing through my whole body, and raising my hips up to meet him. “I said. Don't. Move.”

Suddenly, an arm was draped over me. Opening my eyes, unaware they had shut in pleasure, I saw Oli, kneeling on the bed next to me with a smirk and holding me down. “Better listen to the man. You want to be a good girl for Noah, don't you?”

I simply moaned in return, letting Oli hold me down as Noah’s tongue licked my wetness, teased my clit, somehow feeling like he was everywhere at once. I was already so impossible turned on that any playing he did with me was solely for his own pleasure - I was moments away from falling apart. Especially when he decided I was more than ready for two of his fingers inside of me, lean and long and hitting my spot so perfectly. I mewled and trashed against it all, only kept down by Oli’s strong grip.

“Such a whore for a little action, aren’t you? You’d be begging and pleading if your brain was working enough to let you speak.” Oli’ voice was so low, drenched in his accent as if it was coming out thicker than ever when he was turned on. His free hand travelled to my neck, testing my reaction if he squeezed its side a little and all I could do was arch further into it, taking it all, whatever either of them would be willing to give me.

Noah’s fingers were moving faster, the noises seemingly echoing through the room from how drenched I was and then, finally, finally, he started flicking my clit with his tongue in exactly the way I needed, hard and fast.

“You couldn’t be loud on the bus,” Oli said, “but you better be as loud as you can now.”

Staying quiet wasn’t even an option. Not when my orgasm washed over me, still rising and rising with Noah’s face between my legs, my hips buckling so violently even Oli couldn’t hold them down completely. I came with a scream, all tension releasing into the feelings of overpowering lust paired with utter trust as I was surrounded by the two men I couldn’t stop thinking about.

Comin down happened gradually, my mind a haze. I whined when Noah removed his fingers but couldn’t help but moan when I saw my wetness clinging to his face, cheeks flushed red but looking so content. Oli was softly petting my hair, all dominating features about him vanishing as checked up on my, making sure I was okay.

When Noah crawled up onto the bed with us, curling up next to me, effectively caging me in between them once again, I knew I was more than okay. I couldn’t even dream of being anything else.

•••

Noah ended up pretending he had woken up with a sore throat which caused everyone to accept his choice to be on vocal rest immediately as long as it meant he could do the set tonight. Oli and I had trouble keeping our giggles to ourselves every time someone around us mentioned it though. Only after giving Noah another stern talking to about being more careful when sucking someone off next time he was on tour. He hadn’t fought back, but the rolling of his eyes had said it all.

By early afternoon, Bring Me The Horizon had completed their soundcheck and left for food somewhere else, citing to be sick of catering at venues. I declined the invitation to come along and instead grabbed a plate of whatever the location had deemed “Mexican food” and retired to Oli’s dressing room. As nice as the peace and quiet was, I was aware I didn’t have all that much time to relax. And I desperately needed to call my roommate. I’d left her waiting for long enough.

“Would you mind moving out for next month?”

The question hit me like a ton of bricks. And not just because it was the first thing she said to me instead of greeting me like, you know, a normal person.

“I’m sorry?”

I tried recalling the current date but came up short. End of January though, surely. She couldn't seriously expect me to find somewhere new in a matter of days, right?

Right?

“My boyfriend got kicked out of his place so he’s moving in here.”

“I… I have nowhere to go,” I stammered.

“Okay.”

Well, she surely wasn’t going to be any help.

“What if I say no?” I asked. Maybe I would manage to find something for March. Mid-February if I got really lucky.

“Well, l already talked to our landlord and I’m the main renter on the contract so I was able to change your name to his.”

“So you already kicked me out, basically? What the fuck?” I didn’t even bother to keep my voice down. Asking me to move out was one thing, admitting that the decision had already been made without informing me at all was very much another.

“Yeah, sorry,” she replied without much remorse at all. “You can pick up your stuff before the first right?”

I hung up. I knew that if I attempted to say anything else, I’d turn mean and cruel and as much as I felt like she deserved it in that moment, that simply wasn’t who I wanted to be.

Sitting in the dressing room, silence engulfing me, it was like my body couldn’t decide whether it wanted to let me get into a rage or break out into tears. Either way, I was restless, panicky, unable to process what I’d just been told. I stood up so abruptly, the forgotten about plate on my lap clattered to the floor loudly. At least I’d already finished my meal - I doubt I could stomach any food right now.

I needed something to do, though. The band was still gone but the time suggested that Bad Omens would start soundchecking right about now, so I ventured into the main room of the arena. Anything not to be alone. Noah stood at the sound desk, chatting with Becky, the rest of the band already on stage and fine-tuning their instruments. I joined the two of them, ready to scold Noah for talking, but he turned to me and, in the quietest voice imaginable, told me he was only whispering. Promise.

“Don’t overdo yourself at soundcheck,” I warned him still. “Oli’s going to kill you if you can’t sing.”

He simply shook his head with a smile and brushed his hand against mine as he made his way to the stage.

“Anything I can do?” I asked Becky. “Oli’s gone, so…”

“Actually, yes!” she beamed. “One of our techs is running late after visiting family yesterday so if you’d like to be the hands to my brain and don’t mind me ordering you around a little bit, you’re more than welcome to help out.”

“Believe me, you can’t be worse than Oli,” I laughed. The heaviness of my phone call was still weighing me down, but Becky’s sunny being made me feel lighter immediately. It was far from the worst way to spend my time.

***

Noah made it through his set and with the help of a lot of shutting up and taking care of his throat, I was sure the absolute majority of people never even noticed his struggles. It was still decided he’d sit out on Antivist once more, so while Bad Omen’s packed up and left, I did my best to keep busy. I was basically begging people for jobs, double-checking if Becky really didn’t need anything more from me (I was torn between believing she could handle it and wondering if I’d maybe done so badly she simply didn’t trust me around her equipment anymore), even Oli was annoyed when he couldn’t find anything else for me to do. My frantic attempts not to let a single thought occur were intermittently interrupted by Noah texting me.

Noah You’re a right worker’s bee tonight, aren’t you? Aubrey Cutest bee you’ll ever see

I cringed the very second I sent the message. Why would I even text something like that? My mind was clearly driving me insane. I was still trying to figure out if there was a way to delete my message and pretend he’d never seen it when his reply came in.

Noah You’re the bee’s knees I don’t actually know what that saying means Do bees have knees? Aubrey You’d think I’d know all about the birds and the bees but unfortunately not in the literary way

I put my phone away as Bring Me The Horizon were about to take the stage, lending my hands to a few of the workers in the most menial ways to make sure the show would be perfect. It mostly involved me holding things or carrying them from one place to another. It sort of felt like they were humouring me, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

About half an hour later, they saw me off, thanking me for my work and telling me to enjoy the rest of my night off. It wasn’t really what I wanted, but there was nothing to do. So I set out to find a vacated seat somewhere high up in the arena where I wouldn’t bother anyone and pulled my phone back out. It seemed Noah had been providing me with a string of consciousness. I scrolled through his messages with a smile until I reached the end.

Noah Wish you were here with me

What followed was a picture of his face, half of it under the water of the bathtub he had apparently gotten into, wet hair proving he’d already dunked his head all the way before, big, brown eyes staring back at me. The soft, relaxed expression on his face made me want to throw my phone away and run to him.

Aubrey I’m surprised you’re fitting into the bathtub Did you even get your feet in? Noah Very spacious bathtub

Another photo, now facing away from him, most of his body hidden under a thin layer of bubbles, showed that he did, indeed, fit quite well.

Noah Definitely place for you here too Aubrey I feel like that heavily depends on what you aim to do with me in there

I knew what I expected. Flirts. Inappropriate comments that I would give back twice fold. Dirty thoughts, dirty words. Possibly a picture or two than promised more. But none of that appeared.

Noah Make you sit between my legs so I can embrace you A little massage for those hard working muscles Definitely enough space to wash your hair Hold you close until the water turns cold Wrap you up in one of those fluffy towels Fall asleep with you

It didn’t matter that I was sitting in a massive, 11,000-capacity arena. It didn’t matter that Shadow Moses was currently making the whole place shake. That I was surrounded by people focused on nothing but shouting out the lyrics so loud they would drown Oli out. All I knew was that I was staring at Noah’s words and I couldn’t breathe.

Was this the same man that suggested all of us only being in this for a bit of fun? Who didn’t want anyone to get too close to him? Who was so convinced of his own shortcomings that he wouldn’t even dare try? It didn't make sense.

I pulled up the last photo again, just for something to do, for something to look at, while I tried to make my mind up about what to do. About whether I should let myself fall and allow this… sweetness that didn’t have anything to do with hooking up in my life. Or if I should push back, call him out on it, stay strong, keep our resolution.

I found myself zooming in on the picture. A bottle of wine. Empty. Another one reflecting in the mirror, half full.

Aubrey Are you drunk? Noah Would you mind?

There was an anger rising up in me, a bitter taste that suddenly has a clear origin. So it wasn’t real. The clarification that sounded through his text hit me in the face with force. It wasn’t him changing his mind, it wasn’t him opening up and actually wanting more. It was simply him being wine-drunk, needy and alone. I didn’t care how soft his words were. Not when I was sure he wouldn’t have typed them quite the same sober.

Noah I miss you, angel Already Come over when the show is done

I stared at the words. My heart wanted to jump at the chance, tell him yes, yes I’ll come to you, take whatever he would give me, indulge in the brief idea of this being more, him being serious, him wanting me for real. But I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t. I’d fucked up before, back in Manchester, in a different way. I wouldn’t let us go down that path again. I couldn’t let him change his mind on a whim, again, and again, and allow myself to believe.

Aubrey I’ll see you tomorrow

•••

The tears started pooling in the corners of my eyes before I’d even properly shut the door to my room behind me. Everything I’d been trying to push away caught up with me all at once. Noah being unpredictable in his actions and his words. My roommate all but kicking me out. No job lined up once this tour ended.

I dragged myself under the shower, trying to wash away the bad feeling, thinking I could hide my tears if only I stayed under the stream of water for long enough, but my hair had been washed and conditioned, my body shaved and scrubbed and taken care of and I still couldn’t stop crying. It felt pathetic and weak. I should be able to handle this better. I’d always been able to handle myself.

But it was all too much, this time around. I’d never had to deal with the loss of a place to stay, no job prospects and the reality that I was catching feelings for people who didn’t reciprocate them all at the same time.

That was a lie. I wasn’t catching feelings. I was deep, deep into them already. There was no way to deny it anymore, not even to myself. The way my belly fluttered when I saw Noah or Oli wasn’t pure sexual attraction. Wanting to hold their hands, fall asleep next to them, sharing everything I could with them wasn’t platonic. Needing to get my hands on them, have their hands on me, feel them all over and inside wasn’t a friendship.

A sob wrecked from my mouth as I desperately tried to go through the motions. Drying my hair. Putting on a shirt to sleep in. Brushing my teeth. Yet I couldn’t stop. Every time I thought I had a chance of calming down, another wave of despair came over me and held me under.

A knock on the door made me jump, then freeze in the middle of my motions. Surely no one would come around this late? Maybe someone had the wrong room. I’d simply ignore it.

Another knock. I put my hand over my mouth to keep the sobbing at bay, trying not to let the person know I was even there. Angrily, I wiped a tear away that had slipped between my fingers and tickled my lips.

“Aubrey.” Oli’s voice was unmistakable. “Aubrey, I know you’re there. I can hear you crying.”

Fuck. There was no way I’d be able to get rid of Oli, no matter how much I hated the idea of letting him in and letting him see me like this. But my feet carried me even before I’d actively made the decision and when I saw him standing in front of me, all soft and worried, remnants of make-up lingering on his face, I all but fell into his arms. I only realised that there was something in his hand when he struggled to hug me back.

“Alright, on the bed you go, I’ve got you a hot chocolate and there’s a few pieces of chocolates in the pocket of my hoodie unless you’ve just crushed them.”

And just like that, I broke out into tears once again.

Oli ushered me on the bed, making sure I was tucked in nicely as I sat against the headboard before sliding under the blanket himself, his warmth immediately transferring to me. He handed me the mug, which felt like pure love between my fingers, and then scattered a few individually wrapped chocolates in front of us. When I leaned into him, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as if it had always meant to.

“Talk to me, love,” Oli whispered into your hair and it was all it took for my worries to pour out of me. Well, most of them. The mess in my head about Noah and him stayed hidden, tucked away in the fathers corners of my brain.

Oli held me close, letting me talk and talk and drop tears on his hoodie until I’m all cried out.

“How long have you known?”

“About the roommate situation? This afternoon. The job thing… well, it’s been an ongoing problem.”

He squeezed my body against his and for a moment it felt like he squeezed at least some of the pain away. I didn’t tell him that, but I buried my face a little deeper into his neck.

“Have you talked to your parents? Moving back home and asking for help is probably the last thing you want to do, but, you know…”

The question is enough to let tears well up again. So much for being cried out.

“I…” I swallowed, trying to force the lump in my throat to disappear. “I don’t speak to them anymore.”

Oli pushed me away a little bit, just enough to see my face, but still holding onto me.

“What happened?”

Somehow, the fact that he sounded genuinely shocked made it worse.

“It turns out, dating a girl was enough for my father to assume the devil had gotten into me. And my mother just follows whatever he says. So now the only contact I have with them is my father sending my mails about how to return to the good side of life and renounce the evilness that is being queer and me deleting them unseen.”

“Fuck, Aubrey, why didn’t you tell me?”

Why didn’t I tell him? I wasn’t so sure anymore, now. I knew we had drifted apart a little over the past year, keeping in contact but never actually seeing each other. I should have trusted him more.

Oli’s hand was gentle on my face as he moved my head toward him and pressed a short kiss to my lips. “Fuck them. We’re in this together, yeah? We’ll figure it out. Promise.”

And somehow, I believed him.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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imagining-in-the-margins · 11 months

Text

The Mother Wound (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer and Reader bond over having emotionally absent mothers. Request: reader has an abusive parent and she has developed ptsd from that A/N: Written for a very dear friend of mine, and anyone else who needs to hear it. This is also my entry to @foxy-eva’s Celebration Challenge (prompt “Overcoming Trauma”)! Be sure to show her some love! Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader (also consistent with platonic love) Category: Angst/Comfort Content Warning: Mother’s Day, strained parent & child relationship, implied no contact (with mother), implied mental or physical abuse (from father), crying, feelings of shame Word Count: 2.5k

MASTERLIST

I didn’t go home for Mother’s Day.

I knew that I was supposed to, but I didn’t. Instead, I stayed exactly where I was. Some might say it was inertia, but I knew better. There was no real excuse for violating the duty granted to me by nature of having been born.

But at least I wasn’t the only one.

The case that had almost served as an excuse was both local and over. It ended with serendipitous timing that allowed almost everyone else to scurry home in time for an attempt at recreating a home cooked meal for the woman that taught them… well, everything.

Spencer stayed with me. He called his mother, though.

As I sat on the park bench overlooking the lake, I turned back to see him with his phone still pressed against his ear. Even from where I was sitting, I could make out his knitted brow. It felt too intimate for my tired heart to handle, and so I turned away.

Sort of like how I was avoiding my mother.

My insides twisted and their rioting made my bones rattle. It felt as though my body was tearing in two in protest of my failure to acknowledge its creation.

I breathed in, slowly but with a trembling lip. I breathed out much quicker, like a swift punch to the gut that left me doubled over.

When I brought my hands to my face, I felt the wetness of freshly shed tears. I looked up at the water, resting and rippling reflections of the universe and I wondered how many oceans I could fill with this feeling.

“Hey, are you ready to go?”

Spencer’s voice tore me mercifully from the thought.

“Hey,” I said as I sat up.

My hands were still over my eyes, rubbing constellations against damp eyelids and hoping that the red would quickly fade.

“Sure, we can go,” I tried to assure him when I finally turned to face him.

But Spencer, that sweet boy with his wringing fingers and always-averted gaze looked directly into my eyes—endless oceans of grief with a relentless rip current of rage.

He said nothing. Behind us, the frogs and crickets sang a raucous symphony that sounded nothing like a good mother’s tongue.

After a moment, I realized how little time had passed.

“Did your mom not answer your call?”

“No, she did,” he said with a curt shake of his head. Then, with more broken movements he tried to explain, “She just uh…”

I stared back. His eyes fell away, turning towards the lake as his face stretched into a strained smile.

“She’s having a bad day,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I offered.

“It’s alright,” he refused.

So, we stayed, both filled to the brim with inertia borne from the same shame.

That was, until he asked, “Can I sit with you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

The bench was big enough that I hadn’t needed to move to make room for him, but I did it, anyway. I shrunk into myself exactly the way my mother had taught me to do.

Spencer watched me as I withered. Through my peripherals, I watched him struggle against the same instinct.

But then he gave a small act of courage, the trembling of a hand splayed against a bench, the demand to take up space.

It made my heart ache.

“I’m having a bad day, too,” I told him.

Spencer smiled.

“That’s alright,” he shrugged.

My mouth dropped open and stayed there. I silently wondered how many years of suffering it must’ve taken to grow muscles capable of letting go, of feeling badly freely.

“Truthfully, I’ve never really liked Mother’s Day,” he sighed. “It always felt… forced. If not slightly resentful, even.”

What cruel words they were, like a twist of a knife in already knotted insides.

It was an irresponsible thing to say, a horribly upsetting suggestion that I understood with such fury that tears poured down my cheeks with no warning. Again, I fell forward, caught by my own hands that tried to stifle the sobbing.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” he shouted.

Then, with a voice like a child, he begged me to believe him.

“I-I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s not your fault,” I said. I even surprised myself with a laugh and an uncharacteristic level of introspection. “I just… I relate a little too much to what you just said.”

“I’m still sorry,” he offered.

“It’s fine,” I refused.

We sat together in the suffocating darkness until one of us found the courage to speak again.

It was him first.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really,” I said.

My courage followed slightly later, with the word ‘yes’ fighting through my throat.

Eventually, it came out as a weak and broken, “Maybe.”

Spencer’s eyes scanned my features while I looked up at the lake.

“I’ve been told I’m a very good listener when I manage to be quiet,” he deadpanned.

I laughed. It tasted bitter like the words bottled inside of my chest. It sounded bitter like the way my mother never could compliment me without a condition.

“I just feel terrible saying it all today, of all days,” I sighed. My hands fell back to my lap, abandoning any hope that I could hide my weakness from his eyes.

In an unexpected and swift motion, Spencer moved closer. His body radiated warmth and the faint but familiar smell of a better home.

Without any attempt at hiding or quieting his voice, he chuckled, “I promise you, anything bad you could say about your mother, I’ve thought worse.”

I scoffed, but it didn’t dissuade him.

“I doubt that very much,” I explained.

But he was persistent.

“I mean it.”

Almost enough for me to believe him.

Our eyes locked. Mine, slightly squinted as I tried to find hidden meaning. His, wide eyed and innocent, as though he’d done nothing wrong at all.

“What if I told you that… I was relieved when she hung up on me?” he said, further betraying those eyes. “I spent the whole day dreading that phone call, and I barely managed to smile until I heard the dial tone.”

So simple, so sure that he’d done nothing wrong. I was inclined to believe him.

“What would you think about me?” he asked, “Would you think I was awful?”

“No,” I admitted.

His saturnine smile didn’t wane, but it trembled with both pride and pain.

“I agree,” he said. “Your turn.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

It had been close enough to the truth that I couldn’t call it a lie—but Spencer didn’t believe it. He spared me the humiliation of saying that, though.

Instead, he took my hand. His grip was soft and warm despite the springtime chill, exactly like his eyes. He looked at me with such reverence that I felt compelled to hide.

He didn’t let me do that, either.

“Try,” he said instead, “For me.”

He didn’t let go when my fingers twitched in his grip. Again, the seemingly small act of bravery—the daring to hold me even when my hands grew clammy and harder to love—felt like a balm over a bullet wound bleeding harsh words.

I took a deep breath before I spoke.

“I don’t know what to say about my mother because I don’t think I’ve ever had one. I don’t think I really know the woman who made me and I’m not sure I ever will.”

Spencer didn't move. Not even a nod.

Quieter then, with waning confidence, I cried, “I’m not sure if I would even want to know her. But then I say that out loud and I know I’m lying like she always said I was.”

A sob shook my body and I almost pulled away. Spencer was caught off guard by the sudden jerk, but his grip tightened like he saw how ready I was to bolt.

“Being confused isn’t the same as lying,” he offered.

“It doesn’t matter,” I refused.

So did he.

“It matters,” he insisted. “It matters to me.”

I tried to scoff but I choked on the sound. My free hand clutched at my chest like it could stop the way my heart was tearing in two.

I should have known better, though. How could my heart break in half when it was never whole to begin with?

As I fell back against the bench, Spencer’s grip loosened. He would’ve withdrawn completely if I hadn’t stopped him by squeezing tighter.

He settled, too. We both relaxed against worn wood and shivered from Winter’s dying breath.

“Sometimes it feels like there is this… ache inside of me,” I whispered along the whistling wind, “No matter how much I try to bury it over the years, I can’t seem to shake it. It’s like…. It’s like I can feel her. This version of myself that was never allowed to be.”

I held my hand out like an offering to the lake. I stared at a calloused palm l long enough for it to tremble under the weight of nothing.

“When you’re a child, all you want is a mother. Your mother,” I cried as my offering turned to a fist, “You crave it so badly, that reassurance, that comfort, that… unconditional love.”

Spencer looked down at his own scarred palm.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “you’re right.”

I wanted to pause, to let him speak and hear what he might have to offer from the safety of the other side of this suffering.

Yet when I spoke again, I swore I saw him shrinking away.

“They say when you grow up with an angry man in your house, you will always find him in your house, no matter how far from him you run. And they’re right. They…”

I turned to find him with furrowed brows pointed at the ground. I watched the breath come to him just to leave him again.

I recognized the signs of a heavy heart. Deciding that spilling half of my heart would be enough for now, I swallowed the words about my father. I turned back to my mother at the same time Spencer turned back to me.

“I never expected anything else from my father. But next to him, in front of him, in the space between the two of us, where my mother was meant to be, there is…”

“Nothing,” he finished for me.

“Exactly,” I croaked.

I wasn’t sure how I had any breath left, much less painful, beautiful words to try to fill the black hole where there was once an umbilical cord.

“I can feel it,” I muttered, “I can feel the lack of her like an insatiable hunger that feels… exactly like my father.”

I squeezed his hand. Tighter with each passing word, waiting to see how much of my rage he was willing to endure before I became unlovable.

“That child inside of me is made of monsters without mothers. I am, at my core, half-empty,” I nearly yelled, gripping him so tightly that I swore I felt my own muscles tearing, “and I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to fix that without a mother to teach me how!”

I gasped. My hand let go, flew away from him as I collapsed forward once more. I held myself with that same cruelty—digging nails into skin that looked both too much and not enough like my mother.

To my surprise, Spencer scrambled forward, but he didn’t pry me apart. Instead, he wrapped careful arms around me until he felt the full weight of my grief.

He cradled my head against his chest with trembling hands. I could see angry red welts where my fingers had been, and it only made me cry harder.

I wept shamelessly, clinging to him with tainted hands and half of a heart.

He said nothing and it sounded nothing like my mother’s silence.

Eventually, I came to join him in the liminal space between our suffering.

“I’m afraid I’m going to be angry forever,” I whispered.

“You won’t,” he answered in a way that sounded a lot like a lie. A half-truth, an almost abandoned hope.

He saw how badly I wanted to challenge the notion. He knew he couldn’t promise me peace, so he abandoned the hoping and returned his energy to holding me instead.

“I wish I had all the answers,” he said, and for the first time, I heard his voice shake. “I’ve spent a lifetime searching for something to help me calm that crying child and I just…”

Our bodies rocked with the soft rippling before us. Spencer’s tears dripped onto my chest and I realized no number of oceans could ever contain this feeling.

“I know,” he blubbered. “I know how it hurts. I know how terrifying it is to grow up with the full knowledge of how cruel the world can be, and it isn’t fair that you had to wait this long.”

How long, I wondered, how long does one have to suffer to be able to admit it wasn’t fair?

I bore witness to his final act of courage. I looked at him, saw him, saw the reflection of my fear and shame as it slid down his cheeks.

“I know that no one can completely fill that empty space,” he sniffled.

Slowly, he lifted heavy eyelids. Our eyes found each other once more, and he chuckled at the sight of himself in my eyes.

“But I can try,” he said with a shrug. “I can try to make it smaller. Because I know where to stand and how to hold you. I can bring a flashlight and beautiful things to try to drown out the darkness just a little.”

I bit down on my lip but it slipped away. With it came the secret still kept tightly against my chest.

“I’m scared,” I offered.

“I know,” he accepted.

Tired, trembling arms held me higher. He pulled me from the wreckage until my arms fell around her shoulders and my face buried against his neck.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, “We’re gonna make it. I promise.”

In my own radical act of bravery, I allowed myself to believe it. I closed my eyes and I held him, too. With an equal amount of bravery, he let me.

And within the comfort of that embrace, I found a memory that didn’t exist; a vision between the kaleidoscope of colors behind closed eyes.

There were two children adorned with capes made of old curtains and a flashlight strapped to their heads. Their hands were tightly clasped and clammy, like kids’ hands always were. But his grip was strong and steady and neither of them felt scared.

The beams of light fought through thickets of darkness ahead of them.

“Are you ready?” he said through a bucktoothed grin.

He takes a step forward and they both notice how the light travels further with every step.

“Yeah,” the small child inside me says without a tremble in their voice, “let’s go home.”

They couldn’t know where they were going but they didn’t let it stop them. The trek was long and the journey was difficult, but it was made easier by the company of a friend.

With clammy hands tightly clasped, they tried to make their way through the darkness to that storied place where nothing bad happened.

I didn't go home for Mother's day.

And nothing bad happened.

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toporecall · 2 months

Text

AO3 or read below <3

Summary: Set immediately following the High Lords meeting in ACOWAR.

Rhys and Feyre are reeling from the somewhat disastrous and emotionally wrought meeting with the High Lords. They turn to each other for comfort and escape - Feyre leaning in to the “nice little wife” Tamlin wanted her to be (but not with Tamlin lol).

Or 3600 words of angsty smut cus I wanted the night after the High Lords meeting to go a bit differently than it did in the book.

Warnings: choking, sub/dom dynamics

---*---

“My nice little wife,” he crooned, smirking as he echoed the words I had hurled at Tamlin earlier. “Do you want to feel good?”

“Yes,” I breathed, barely audible, “please.”

The look he gave me was so heated, I could’ve sworn there was fire in his eyes. “Then go to the bed.”

---*---

“What a long, shitty, exhausting day,” I sighed, collapsing into a plush armchair dramatically.

Rhys and I were finally alone after the meeting with the High Lords. Everyone had decided to stay the night so that in the morning we could continue working on this tenuous alliance against Hybern. We’d spent some time decompressing with Azriel, Cassian, Mor, Nesta, and Helion, before everyone had split off into their rooms for the evening. It did not escape my notice that Helion’s voice was emanating from Mor’s room, along with a few more…revealing sounds. But it didn’t bother me. On the contrary, I was happy that Mor had someone to comfort or distract her after what we’d all been through today.

Now alone in our bedroom, Rhys was pacing by the window like a caged animal.

“Are you okay? The things they said today…” I started.

“The things they said today were nothing,” he answered sternly.

“They weren’t nothing, Rhys. I’m sorry…I’m sorry those things had to get brought back up fro you. The things you did Under the Mountain.”

Rhysand continued looking out the window and sighed before speaking. “They can call me a whore as much as they want. I protected my people - our people - and I have you. That is what matters.”

“You’ll always have me,” I assured him quietly.

He turned to look at me, concern in his eyes. “And are you…all right?”

“Honestly I…I don’t know. Yes, I guess.”

Rhys crossed the room, standing before me as I sat in the armchair. He put his fingers lightly on my chin and lifted my face to look at him. Even after today, my breath stuttered in my chest at how beautiful he was.

“Tamlin is still in love with you, you know.”

“Tamlin just wants a small obedient wife to warm his bed,” I said, my voiced filled with ire.

“Tamlin doesn’t even know how obedient you can really be, Feyre, darling.” Rhysand’s eyes sparkled and for the first time all night, a small crooked smile slid across his face. I almost couldn’t believe he was flirting with me now, after all of that, but maybe after today this is what we both needed. To feel wanted.

Despite myself, despite the humiliation and the worry and the hundreds of problems we still had to deal with, I felt myself smile back coyly.

“No, he doesn’t. But I could play nice and obedient wife for you,” I purred.

Is it okay for us to do this here? I asked down the bond.

I think after today I need- Rhysand started but cut himself off.

Need what?

Never mind, I…today has been hard on both of us. I shouldn’t be asking for…just, never mind.

“Rhysand, what is it? Anything. Anything to make it better.” I whispered out loud.

He hesitated, clearly debating something within himself, before answering down the bond, as if the words were too much to say out loud.

I just feel so…angry, so frustrated. I want to tie you up and take what’s mine. I want to fuck you so good that everyone in this building will know I’m more than just Amarantha’s whore. I want fucking Tamlin to know what he lost.

I could feel my face heating. Hell, I could feel my whole body heating at his words. And it made sense to me. We’d been humiliated today, over and over. I wanted to give Rhys anything I could to remind him who he really is - the most powerful High Lord in Pythian. And honestly, I wanted to feel good too. I wanted to feel loved and taken care of. And, if I was being totally honest with myself, I also wanted Tamlin to be reminded who I belong to now.

The way Rhysand was looking at me almost broke my heart - so afraid of what he’d just asked of me. So sure that I would run away.

I took his hand off of my face gently and slowly, so slowly, slid out of my chair and onto my knees in front of him.

I looked up, my eyes meeting his which were full of surprise. “You told me earlier today that I bow to no one. I bow to no one but you, High Lord.” Despite my shaking hands, I smirked up at him, letting him know I’m in on the game.

He seemed genuinely taken aback and for a moment I wondered if I was making a fool of myself. But then I heard his voice through the bond, warm and full of want. Is this okay?

Yes, anything you want. I meant it.

You’ll tell me if it’s too much?

It won’t be. But yes, I’ll tell you.

“In that case,” he finally said out loud, voice gravelly and low, “I also said earlier that tonight I want you wearing that crown - only that crown.”

Within a blink, my dress was gone, leaving me in only lacy white panties with the crown atop my head. Cool air wrapped around my body, my skin breaking out in goosebumps under Rhys’s intense gaze. His eyes moved down my body slowly.

“My nice little wife,” he crooned, smirking as he echoed the words I had hurled at Tamlin earlier. “Do you want to feel good?”

“Yes,” I breathed, barely audible, “please.”

The look he gave me was so heated, I could’ve sworn there was fire in his eyes. “Then go to the bed.”

I started to stand but Rhys put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up questioningly.

“I didn’t say you could stand.”

He took a step back from me as it clicked in my mind. It should have been humiliating, crawling across the floor toward the bed at his command. After today, after being called a whore, after putting up with the things Tamlin and Beron had said to me, it should’ve been degrading to submit myself this way. But it wasn't. I crawled but I crawled with my head high, keeping my crown balanced and steady.

When I reached the bed, I turned around to look at Rhys again, still on my knees.

“On the bed, Feyre, darling.”

I rose slowly, silently and knelt facing him at the edge of the bed, burning under his stare.

It was almost embarrassing how hard I was breathing already and he hadn’t even touched me. I was panting, anticipation a living thing in my core. I squeezed my thighs together, trying to relieve some of the pressure I’d begun to feel.

Rhysand smirked as he made his way toward me, obviously clocking the way my body was responding to this.

He stopped in front of me, his face about a foot above mine as he stood before me at the end of the bed. I let my eyes flutter closed as he ran his fingers lightly up and down my bare arms. I felt dizzy at his touch already.

He hummed to himself a little as one hand ghosted up my arm to my neck, encircling my throat. My breath hitched as he squeezed lightly.

“I think I like you like this, Feyre. All quiet and sweet and obedient just for me.” He squeezed my neck lightly again as a finger on his other hand ghosted lazily over one of my nipples, so light it was barely a touch but it sent shivers across my body. “Open your eyes and look at me, sweetheart.”

I opened my eyes, breath stuttering at the rawness of everything I was feeling.

“Do you want to be good for me, Feyre?” Rhys purred, a smug smile ghosting his lips.

“Yes,” I managed to get out. He continued stroking my nipple, his other hand not squeezing but merely resting around my throat like a collar.

“Did Tamlin ever make you feel this way? Were you ever this good and obedient for Tamlin?” My cheeks burned at the mention of his name. He was somewhere in this building, laying in his bed, probably feeling high and mighty about all of the digs and personal information he’d revealed about me today. His words echoed in my mind, Beron’s too. He whored for Amarantha for decades. Why shouldn’t you be his whore in return?

Despite myself, despite all I knew Rhysand and I were and had with each other, I felt the beginnings of shame creep into my heart.

“No, never.” I tried to keep my head high, tried to keep my eyes from betraying my thoughts but of course Rhys didn’t miss a beat.

“Hey,” he said gently, releasing my throat and placing his hands on my shoulders, thumbs skimming back and for over my skin soothingly. I hadn’t said anything down the bond, but I could tell he knew what I’d been thinking, practically word for word. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. We have nothing to be ashamed of. They only know what they’ve seen, they don’t know who we really are.”

I knew that was true for most of them. Beron only knew what they had let him see - what he’d seen of me Under the Mountain and what I’m sure he’d heard about the role I’d played in the Court of Nightmares, perched on Rhysand’s lap as his plaything. But Tamlin did know me. He knew me and he saw the parts of me I was most afraid of.

“Just make me forget. I don’t want to think about them.” I took his hand and placed it back on my neck, fingers curling over his so that they once again circled my throat. Please, I said down the bond, I want to keep playing.

Rhysand looked torn for a moment before seeming to make a decision silently.

He squeezed my throat harder, my breath actually cutting off for a moment before he loosened his grip just enough for air to get in and out. Instantly, I felt my my mind emptying. Heat returned to my core, fast and intense.

“Is that what you want, darling? Do you need someone to remind you how good you can feel?” His voice was like a flame shooting straight through my body.

“Yes, High Lord,” I barely managed to get out.

“That’s right.” He smiled down at me smugly before leaning in and kissing me, finally. I felt myself melting at the contact, my mouth opening to him immediately. His tongue skated across mine and he kissed my deeply and possessively. I felt a hand trailing down my side, over my hip, before stopping on my thigh and squeezing hard. I whimpered into his mouth and he huffed a laugh against my lips. “Lay back, darling.”

I did as he said, inhaling deeply as he let go of my neck and I laid down on the luxurious bed, scooting myself back toward the pillows.

Rhys pulled his shirt off and climbed into the bed, undoing his belt as he moved toward me.

“Hands up,” he commanded.

I swallowed, raising my arms above my head and taking hold of the posts running vertical through the headboard. I thought he was going to tie my hands to the headboard with his belt, but instead he looped it around my neck, feeding the end through the buckle and pulling it tight to my neck. It wasn’t tight enough to cut off my air, but my body went taught at the sensation, the knowledge of what he could do with this.

He knelt over me, one hand holding the end of the belt, the other skimming aimlessly over my almost entirely naked body.

He hummed under his breath. “Pretty little High Lady Feyre. All mine to play with.”

I gasped as he suddenly pinched my right nipple. He smirked, fingers moving to my other nipple and pinching a little harder. I whimpered, my cheeks blazing red.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Feyre. I didn’t know you’d enjoy this sort of thing.”

Despite being so full of nerves I was nearly shaking, I put on a brave face and smiled flirtatiously back at him. “Well you never asked,” I said sweetly, fluttering my lashes like I was the most innocent girl in the world.

He growled, eyes flashing at my insolence. “Don’t let go of the headboard.”

He moved down my body, kneeling over my legs and pulling my panties off. He pushed my legs apart roughly, sliding my feet across the bed toward my ass so that I was spread open wide before him.

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmured, looking down at me. Heat spread across me again in embarrassment at how exposed I was. But I could see that he meant it, could see the adoration in his eyes. Without warning, he pushed a finger inside me. I let out a strangled cry and he moved it in and out steadily. “So fucking beautiful and so fucking wet for me. Do you like all this, Feyre? Do you like being my good little wife?” All I could do was whimper back, the sensation of just that one finger already short circuiting my brain. “Do you like knowing that Tamlin is somewhere here? Probably thinking about me doing this to you right now?”

I groaned as he added a second finger.

“Answer me, Feyre.”

“Yes,” I choked out. “Yes, yes I like it.” And I did like it. Despite my earlier shame, I liked knowing that Tamlin was here. That maybe he could hear me right now with that Fae hearing.

Rhysand hummed again, fingers still pumping insistently. I could feel it all the way up my spine. I was losing control embarrassingly fast, back already arching as I gripped the headboard so tight my knuckles turned white.

“I don’t even mind knowing he has memories of you to keep him company. Because right now he’s probably stroking himself, all alone, wishing that he was here doing this to you.” Gods this was so fucked up and I loved every second of it. “I don’t even mind because you’re all mine, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, High Lord.” I moaned.

He growled under his breath leaning over me and licking my clit. I could feel electricity burning through me, pressure building hard and fast in my core. I heard myself let out some strangled cry I would normally be embarrassed by, especially with so many fae nearby, but in this moment all I could think about was my mate’s hands and mouth on me.

“Come for me, Feyre. I want to hear you.” He curled his fingers as they pumped insistently inside me, tongue lapping at my clit, pushing hard. I let out another strangled moan, gripping the headboard, and arching my back hard off the bed. So close, I was so close.

And then I felt Rhys’s other hand moving up my body. It found the end of the belt still looped around my neck and pulled, tightening around my throat and constricting my breathing. My head swam and stars exploded across my vision as I came hard. I moaned agonizingly as he continued fingering me, every muscle in my body tightening as my orgasm seemed endless. I felt wetness leaking from my body across the bedspread but I was too lost in the moment to feel even remotely embarrassed.

“So good, so good, Feyre.” Rhys was murmuring, lips on my stomach has his hand started to slow. He let the belt loosen just a little so I could catch my breath for a moment.

He kissed my hip once before sitting up on his knees again.

“Hands and knees, facing me,” he ordered, pushing his pants off and tossing them to the floor.

I was shaking all over, still reeling from cumming so hard but I did as he said eagerly. I rolled over and pushed myself to my hands and my knees, turning to face him. I looked up into his eyes, full of a confusing mix of love and heat and edge.

He took the belt back into his right hand, running his left along my upper back and shoulders. In this position, his cock was right in front of me and my mouth watered at the sight. All I wanted to do was making him feel good. I loved all of this, every second because it meant that I was giving him something no one else could.

His free hand trailed over my shoulders, up my neck, fingers skating along my lips.

“Open up,” he demanded in a low voice.

I did as I was told and something in me nearly melted as he pushed his fingers into my mouth. They tasted like me, sweet and a little salty, as he mimicked his movements from before - working his two fingers back and forth, in and out between my lips. It was hot - way hotter than I wanted to admit - and I sucked them eagerly, wanting to do anything to impress him, to keep making us both forget about this shitty day.

“Gods you are so beautiful,” he nearly groaned. He pulled his fingers from my mouth and tightened his grip on the belt. “Keep that pretty mouth open, Feyre darling.”

Using the belt as leverage, he pulled me toward him, pushing his cock between my lips now. At first just an inch or two, then back and forth, back and forth, a little deeper each time until he was buried in my throat. I gagged around him and he groaned, tightening the belt and pulling me that last impossible bit deeper onto him.

My jaw ached and I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes but I could also feel that heat igniting again inside me at the sounds he was making. He started to fuck my mouth then, one hand on the belt holding me tight to him, one on the back of my head with his fingers threaded tightly in my hair. Between the sting of my scalp where he pulled my hair and his dick hitting the back of my throat with each thrust, I couldn’t even think of another thing outside of this room.

He groaned again, “Gods, fuck, Feyre. You feel so-” he cut of with a groan, “so fucking good.” I moaned around him, luxuriating in the praise. “My good, nice little wife, aren’t you? No one else gets to have you like this. Tomorrow we’ll be at breakfast with all those other High Lords and their courts and they’ll all know what we did in here tonight. They’ll all wish it was them with their cock in your throat but they’ll know that you’re. All. Mine.”

He pulled out of my mouth and pushed me back onto the bed roughly, pulling my legs apart again and pushing inside me. I cried out at the sudden pressure and then his mouth was on mine, tongue deep in my mouth. It was a savage kiss, all impulse and I loved every second of it. Our tongues met over and over as he began to fuck me steady and so deep.

He leaned down and kissed my neck before sinking his teeth in just above where the belt laid on my skin, hard enough I knew it would leave a mark. I cried out but the cry of pain mixed with those of pleasure until even I couldn’t tell the difference. Every stroke was bringing me closer and closer to my mind melting. I arched my back hard off the bed as Rhys took my right leg and pushed it up, hooking my knee around his arm to open me further.

I couldn’t even control the sounds I was making anymore, moaning incoherently. He felt so good, this angle was so open and let him penetrate so deep inside me that just that feeling alone road the edge of pleasure and pain.

“Just relax, Feyre. Just relax. Open your mouth.” He was breathless above me and I did as he said. I let my body go, the last bit of tension left in me surrendering, and opened my mouth. Our tongues met again, and I nearly screamed into his mouth as one of his hands found my clit, rubbing tight circles as he fucked my deep and steady.

“Look at me, Feyre. Don’t hold back, baby, I want them to hear. Let them hear you cum for me.”

I didn’t have a choice. He pulled back and I looked in his eyes as the last wall of my sanity broke and I could feel sounds escaping my throat as I came hard. I could feel my walls squeezing tight around him, my back arching off the bed as I moaned loudly.

“Ohmygodsohmygodsohmygods,” I moaned incoherently as he pushed into me over and over, hitting the perfect spot.

Rhys groaned, his movements becoming rougher and jerkier for a few moments before I felt him cum deep inside me, stilling and squeezing my leg hard as he came.

“Fuck,” he hissed, eyes closing for a moment.

We caught our breath in silence before he collapsed onto the bed next to me, one hand lazily traveling over my skin.

I laughed, still panting hard and shaking all over.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, turning to face me and removing the belt from neck gently.

“I just,” I could hardly stop laughing. “I just feel so good. And also the meeting is going to be so weird tomorrow.”

He snorted, laughing as well despite all we’d been through that day, and lately.

“Like I said,” he started, kissing my elbow, the closest thing to him, “they’ll all wish it was them.”

---

Tagging a few of my fav feysand fic writers cus I love you guys and why not? :) (lemme know if u dont wanna be tagged tho! nbd) @separatist-apologist @tunaababee @readychilledwine @jeannineee @the-lonelybarricade @starfall-spirit

#feysand #rhys x feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre #acotar #acotar fanfiction #smut smut smut #ao3

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harrytheehottie · 9 months

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a spinning out extra: goodbye for now

short + sweet and a little glimpse into their future. promise there is more story to tell with them! thank you for reading and keeping up so far x

“On the last night of the 2021 tour date everything felt different. I was in a different situation mentally and emotionally. Touring was where I let all of that go, it was my escape. I felt like there was so much pressure on my shoulders and I was being pulled in so many directions. Some of it was my own doing - I pushed for a tour because I knew we could do it if we did it right. And it was - is - it is my favorite part of this job, connecting with an audience, playing the songs that mean so much to me. And it truly was an escape for me, I was so regimented so that I could get on stage every night. And we did it, no shows canceled due to sickness. Everyone got through it. And I felt so tunnel vision for those two and a half months that I didn’t even let myself soak in that last night. I was clinging onto it as much as I could. Maybe because part of me knew it wasn’t the final show. We had the album done, all the shoots were scheduled for early next year, we had a release date, I knew I was getting back on the road next summer with the rest of my year fully planned out. But with all of that ahead of me I was still clinging onto being on the stage. I remember just dragging it out, saying my thank you’s and stalling. Hugging everyone I could as I ran backstage to a car to the airport to immediately go into reshoots for My Policeman.”

You were listening back to one of the first initial interviews you did with Harry as you waited for the car that was going to take you to the venue for the last show of Love On Tour. You were thinking back to the first Harry show back at Coachella. The way you were working yourself up in the hotel night before you knew you had to interview him.

And now, you were his girlfriend, going to the final show of this incredible tour run that you were able to hop in the middle of and enjoy the ride. You were giddy with excitement and nerves. You spent the morning and early afternoon with his family together before Harry left for the venue. You were going to meet up with his family and friends once you got there - the day and weekend plays carefully scheduled and curated by Harry himself — making sure that you all enjoyed yourself just as much as he did.

And you did. You danced and screamed lyrics with the closest people to him. You were just as excited to see him run off stage for the final time and give him all the energy he gave the crowd tenfold.

And when you watched that piano get brought up on stage as Harry with shaking hands and voice said “I wrote this especially for you” and he began to play a melody that was eerily familiar to you. You began to drift away from Italy, you were brought back to the night you spent in Oxfordshire right before his first hometown stadium show. You found Harry sitting at the baby piano that was in your room, his fingers gliding across the keys faster than his mind could keep up with, stopping just as he heard you enter the room.

“S’just this thing that I can’t get out of my head. It’s been following me since we first met.” He confessed to you like an omission of guilt of some kind.

“Is it okay that I hear it?” You asked.

Harry motioned for you to walk over, scooting to the side of the piano bench to make space for you to sit. You smiled softly as your eyes met his gaze.

“It can be our little secret.” Harry whispered as you sat down.

You were brought back from that memory when you felt the hug from someone familiar — “Thank you for making him so happy.”’

#harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #spinning out #hopefully the formatting on this is ok <3

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poppinspops · 1 month

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Let me love you; Lamina

Paring: Lamina x fem reader

Words: 13.4k

Summary: Lamina is trying to get you to freely love her without being afraid of what others think, set in District 7 before the hunger games

Warnings: internalized homophobia, emotionally abusive mother, ooc lamina cuz we didn't get to see or read much about her before the game's so I wrote her how I thought she might act so um... my bad, but I like confidentish lamina

You and your mother had another fight again for what seemed like the hundredth time because of your feelings for lamina your friend that’s a girl because you’re a girl as well and girls aren’t supposed to want to kiss or even marry other girls but you do. Which has only caused you and your mothers screaming matches to get worse.

You stared at your mother with as much disgust as you could at her rambling about how she could have birthed such a disgusting little girl before storming out of the house leaving your mother to run after you onto the porch of your wood house screaming for her ungrateful daughter to get back in that house at once but you didn’t. You kept walking down the dirt pathway that you knew so well towards the woods to just get away from everything.

You walked into the woods that you used to play in with lamina when you both where twelve years old and had a whole hell lot of free time to just be kids. You kept walking until you saw the familiar old tree that was thicker than the rest of them, the tree you used to climb to get away from everyone until lamina found it and would come and sit outside in the cold with you for hours until you felt better. You looked at it for a moment before starting to climb it, it took a minute as you wanted to get to the highest branch you could and sat on the tree branch looking at the scenery In front of you admiring how everything always looked better when you where sat in a tree.

Everything was so very quiet until you heard the crunching of a leaf and the snapping of twigs on the ground scaring you out of your staring almost making you lose balance on the thick branch you where sat on your head almost snapping down to see what was making the noises. You where quiet upset until you saw red hair that was almost styled in a victory roll immediately knowing just from the rose red hair that the person walking towards the tree you where sat in was lamina your friend since she asked for your name a few years ago.

Loved her for years even though I knew it was wrong, I’ve loved her with my entire being and soul.

Yes of course you knew logically and well according to your mother morally that these feelings you have for lamina was wrong and disgusting, and yes your mother has engraved that notion into your skull but you for the life of you, you just can’t help but think lamina was pretty. A pretty girl, a girl. But before you could think more about your horrid feelings for lamina you heard laminas voice yell your name.

“I knew I’d find you here.. you always did like the view from up here huh y/n?” She spoke or rather yelled as she stared up at you for a minute too long catching your eyes as you let out a small snort covering your mouth after making lamina smile a bit.

“yeah yeah just get up here lamina!” you said with a small smirk as you watched the lamina with a small smile cheeks a bit red from her staring. The girl walked up to the tree to climb up it and sit with you as she usually did on warm days like this. Lamina didn’t need to say anything as you already knew what she was doing instinctively you scooted over on the branch making room for her to sit next to you comfortably.

You watched as she climbed the tree with grace the sun hitting her just right making her red hair look like fire and her skin practically glowing in the sun making your heart ache in your chest and your face flush slightly as you looked away now diverting your gaze to your fingers that you’ve been picking at for years the skin torn on some parts, scabs on pieces of the torn skin.. your fingers so unbearably ugly to anyone who has seen them not hands that little girls your age should be looking like.

You hadn’t noticed that lamina had already sat beside you until you felt someone’s rough hand grab your own intertwining them together giving your hand a light squeeze, your eyes darted over to lamina as she gave you a soft smile bringing your hand up to her slightly chapped lips kissing the back of your hand making your cheeks warm and your lips tug upwards but soon your face fell remembering that you and her weren’t normal. You quickly pulled your hand away like her touch burned as you frowned forcing your gaze away from her as you spoke quickly.

“Lamina, we talked about this you know we can’t do this-“ Lamina cut you off mid rant as she rolled her eyes biting her bottom lip out of frustration why wouldn’t you just stop caring about what others thought and let her just love you freely without always pushing her away.

“Stop being scared of what others might think.. I was too but y/n we have something that people would bleed for something some are still looking for to this day! I need you to not be afraid to let me love you.. I would stand with you till the day I take my last breath.” Lamina proclaimed as she grabbed your hand again looking at you with such passion in her now glossy dark eyes as you just sat there stunned, you looked at her with wide eyes as she held onto your hands with tears that were threatening to spill down her rosy cheeks as she had almost pleaded with you to just stop hiding this relationship from everyone and love her freely without fear any signs of her previously smiling face was gone now replaced with a frown.

You finally mustered up the courage to look at lamina, looking into her dark eyes your face now a deep shade of red from how she spoke with such passion it made your head hurt from thinking so much as you opened your mouth but closed it again not knowing what to say to lamina, it always ended like this her pleading for you to not be scared and you running away like the coward you are that’s what you’ve always done haven’t you.. just running away from all your problems and who says you’d stop here.

You stared into laminas eyes noticing how you’ve torn this girl down to her core staring at you with so much emotion that it made you sick you wanted to tell her that you loved her too but you just couldn’t. In that moment all you could think of where your mothers harsh words, her screams of frustration of why you couldn’t just like boys like a normal girl does her cries as she prayed for God to fix her only daughter…

It was all becoming too much for you to handle your breathing became erratic, Lamina was staring at you with concern she was speaking but you couldn’t seem to hear her or anything. Lamina reached out for your face hands just barely grazing your cheek it all became just too much for you as you felt her fingertips against your now very hot skin.

“I’m sorry I just- I just can’t lamina I’m so sorry” You whispered under your breath as you leaned away from her eyes looking away down at the ground than back at her than again at the ground breathing heavy as you felt deep guilt for making lamina so sad all the time.. all you ever did was make her cry and chase after you but you truly couldn’t handle this right now.

So you ran away like you always did when things got too complicated.

You jumped off of the tree branch as quickly as you could scrapping your hands up as you landed on the floor but you just got back up and ran away like the coward you are as lamina watched you disappear into the dark forest. She let out a shaky sigh looking down at her hands, her bottom lip wobbling.

She knew she would wait till the end of time for you, no matter how many times you made her cry she couldn’t force herself to love another person even when you made her want to pull every strand of hair out of her head whilst simultaneously screaming at you for being so stubborn.

Even through everything her heart was yours and yours alone. Your all she wanted but couldn’t seem to catch. Lamina finally let herself cry.

Her sobs loud as she sat leant against the tree and just broken down from yet again failed attempt to get you to just allow her to love you, though she knew it was your mother’s fault that wretched women put things into your head making you feel like a freak for loving Lamina a girl instead of a boy.

The next day started out as the first one did for you, running away from your house into the woods as your mother screamed and ran after you until she enviable gave up at the porch again, cursing under her breath as she walked home.

You’d passed by Treech on your now jog to the woods you both gave a nod to each other as you jogged into the woods. You knew treech from working at your father’s lumber yard since Treech would come in and sell the wood he cut down a boy of few words but admirable still.

You had jogged back to your normal spot in the woods the big tree you’d climb everyday to cool off after a argument with your mother, but when you walked closer to the large tree you saw Lamina leaning against the tree.

You slowly walked towards the tree your eyes never left hers as you stopped in front of the tree she was sitting on. Nervousness from the events of yesterday were all coming back to you making, you want to run away once again from your feelings.

Once your eyes met Lamina's your heart started to thump in your chest from both anxiety and solicitude from the girl. Your palms started sweating as you stiffened under her gaze.

As you stared up at Lamina where she was sitting on that branch. The same branch you left her at. You tore your eyes away from the girl, you couldn’t bare the almost devastated look in her eyes. You always hated that look you now of days saw. Which of course was your fault. When was it not?

“Y/n?” Lamina spoke softly, her voice full of concern as she looked down at you. Shifting to the edge of the branch, ready to either climb down the branch or jump down. Whichever came first.

You felt frozen as you heard Lamina’s voice. You wanted to say something, but you felt your own throat tighten and your mouth felt dry. And it felt hard to breath for some reason. Time felt slow and too fast at the same time! As you stared.

Like you were on autopilot you turned you back on her to run off like the pathetic coward you are. Before you could even start to run, Lamina jumped down from the branch she sat on.

Lamina fell to the ground but quickly got up as she grabbed onto your hand to keep you from running away, a desperate expression on her face.

“Y/n, please. Don’t run away again.” Lamina almost pleaded as she stared at you with those eyes big puffy red eyes, making you gulp harshly before looking away from her intense gaze as she spoke again she sounded more confident when she spoke.

“Look y/n I have loved you since the day I met you at your father’s lumber yard when you where working the counter.. you where so pretty and I know you feel the same about me aswell, so why wont you be mine” Lamina almost sobbed out as she broke out into tears once again, her hand left your hand in favor of holding your face that was now a deep maroon color she let out a shaky breath through those chapped lips breath hitting your face as your noses almost touching from how close you both are now.

Your eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes.

“lamina I was always yours” You said so softly more like a whisper giving lamina a wobbly smile as you let yourself break down in front of lamina your silent sobs being seen as you left yourself rest in her hands the only things that were holding you up now closing your eyes as you did.

you never where a pretty crier, but it was alright as lamina wasn’t either.

It took a while for you two to stop sobbing, your tears had stopped after a few minutes but laminas tears where still there silently flowing down her pale cheeks. You opened your now puffy eyes to see laminas staring at you with adoration that was reserved for only you.

You placed your hands ontop of laminas that where holding your face so very delicately as your eyes once again flickered from her eyes to her chapped lips up to her eyes again and lamina did the same with a small smile on her face making you look away as a sudden wave of nervousness washed over you the minute you saw her smile.

“I love you y/n” lamina whispered and she only smiled more when she saw your face deepen a shad of red Shed never seen before.

You turned to face her again as you let yourself smile too before leaning closer to her noses now touching as you breathed out slowly “I love you too lamina” you breathed out as you leaned forward and gave her a small peck on the lips her lips where rough but that didn’t make that quick little peck any less great. You pulled away just as quick as you leaned in.

You stared at lamina seeing her shocked expression making you break out into a big smile. “I love you so dearly lamina” you whispered out as you leaned forward again kissing her again but lamina reacted quicker this time reciprocating the kiss, it wasn’t heated nor was it rushed it was slow but quick it was perfect.

Lamina pulled away first a smile blooming on her face that made your heart skip a beat. Lamina after a moment if silence leaned forward letting her four head rest against yours, you let out a small laugh at this feeling at peace with lamina here in the deep depths of the woods. It was just you and lamina just how it had always been, you and lamina.

“promise to marry me” You breathed out as you closed your eyes lamina let out a breathy laugh at that as she replied back soon after.

“promise” Lamina replied.

Okay, I wasn't expecting this to be so long. Sorry if lamina is WAY too ooc for your liking we didn't get to read/see much of her personality at all in the books and in the movie so I kinda just went off of a few scenes where she seemed more confident and less scared but tried to still keep the more scared lamina there I hope yall don't get too mad at me😭

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prophetparadox · 2 years

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DMC OC Week 2022 Day 7: Comfort (Free Day)

(Art by Pampero on Toyhouse)

Welp, here we are, the end of @dmc-oc-week-specialedition. It’s been a fun time getting to do this again, but all good things must come to an end! And I figured I’d end things off on an...unexpected note perhaps! Because what I have here for you all today is a Kay/Reader fic!

You see, my original idea for Day 7 didn’t work out the way I’d hoped it would, so I scrapped it. Thankfully, I have quite a bit of Kay content I’ve only shared with the @infernalcreations server, so I wasn’t completely screwed! And a few of those things just happened to be Kay/Reader fics I wrote for fun. And hey, she does have her simps and enjoyers, so why not appeal to them? And don’t worry, the reader here is gender neutral so anyone can enjoy this and get comfort from the silly eyepatch girl!

My hope is that next year, I’ll have gotten my KayV fic written and that way I can share so much lore involving her that I’ve been keeping secret! But until then, thank you all for coming along on this journey with me! And I hope you can enjoy this silly little fic I wrote back in April! Until next year!

This day was the absolute worst. Nothing was going right for you, you felt exhausted both physically and emotionally, and it was taking all you had not to burst out crying in public. All you wanted to do was sink into bed and stay there for the rest of the day, maybe even the couch if you couldn’t drag yourself to the bedroom. Your legs did feel heavy after all, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if you couldn’t make it. It didn’t matter where you passed out, you just wanted everything to stop happening for a while.

But the moment you entered your apartment, that plan seemed to go out the window. As you could smell caramel and heard an all too familiar singing coming from the kitchen. Sure enough, when you looked inside there stood Kay, smiling as she poured batter into a baking pan and stuck it into the oven. You didn’t know what to think seeing your girlfriend here, your thoughts were kinda muddled from everything that happened today. She set a timer and then turned to face you, bounding over and wrapping you in one of her signature hugs.

“Welcome home!” she said. “The job got finished quicker than expected so I got home early! And I thought I’d make my specialty to celebrate! The brownies are in the oven, so if you want to make dinner I won’t be in your- Y/N? Are you okay?”

You don’t know if it was relief to see her here or the hug she gave you, but something caused your tears to spill as you clinged to her. All you knew for sure was that you needed her right now. “Today’s been fucking terrible.” you managed to say through your tears.

Kay pressed a kiss to your forehead, her hand rubbing circles into your back. “Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked. You shook your head. Maybe later you could talk about it, but right now you just didn’t have it in you to recount the day’s events. “Okay then, you wanna move to the couch then? The brownies aren’t gonna need my attention for a while so we can just cuddle if you want to.” Now that you nodded your head too. Even though you didn’t want to let her go, you knew it’d be much more comfy if you let her lead you to the couch.

Kay smiled softly, holding your hand as she helped you over to the living room. She sat down on the end of the couch, and you followed suit by resting your head in her lap as you laid down. She began to pet your head, humming softly to soothe your frayed nerves. She grabbed some tissues from the coffee table and handed them to you, knowing you’d need them once you let out all your tears. So you laid there with her and cried, not knowing exactly how long it had taken until finally you heard the timer go off.

“I gotta go check on the brownies real quick, want me to get you some water while I’m up?” she asked. Feeling worn out from the crying session, you just gave a nod. “Okay, I’ll be right back and then it’s back to cuddles, I promise,” You lifted yourself to let her stand up, watching her go into the kitchen. True to her word, it took only a few minutes for her to come back with a glass of water and her phone in hand. “The brownies are done, though they need to cool down before I can put frosting on them. But they can wait until you’re doing better,” She handed you the glass of water, which you downed at least half of in one gulp, and sat down next to you. She hugged you and you both laid down together. “Wanna tell me what happened now?”

“Everything just went wrong today,” you explained, still feeling tired but at least managing to speak. “I woke up this morning and everything just kept getting worse and worse until I got home.”

“I’m sorry, shitty days are the worst,” Kay said. “But I’m here now, and I’m gonna do everything I can to make this day less bad.” She held up her phone. “You want me to order something for dinner? I can make something if you want, but something tells me you’d rather have something delivered.”

She knew you too well, it was enough to get a small smile out of you. “Yeah, order the usual, please.” Kay knew what you liked better than anyone and she knew your usual take-out order to the detail.

She fiddled around on her phone, her free hand gently rubbing your arm as she ordered. “Alrighty, it should be here in ten minutes. I’ll have to get up again to grab it and frost the brownies while I’m at it, but after that I’ll stay right here as long as you need me to.” she said.

“Sounds good to me.”

Kay grabbed the remote after setting her phone down and turned on the TV. “You wanna just browse through Netflix and watch whatever looks good?”

“Sure, just nothing that’ll make me cry again, please.” you joked, getting a laugh out of Kay.

“Of course not, nothing but good vibes here. So long as I’m giving you KTLC, you’re gonna feel so damn loved.”

“KTLC? What’s that?”

“Kay’s Tender Love and Care! Duh! What else would it be?”

You just rolled your eyes at that. “I love you.”

She smiled softly once more, leaning over and kissing your forehead again. “Love you too, mo cuishle.”

And so the two of you stayed there, Kay only getting up to grab the food and finish the brownies as she said (she even made a warm drink for you both while she did it), cuddling close to each other while you watched movies. You eventually fell asleep in her arms, comforted by her warmth and soothing touches. Even if that day had been nothing but terrible, at least you had Kay to make it better.

#Prophet posts #dmcocweek #DMC OC Week #Devil May Cry

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covermeinclouds · 1 year

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the day the music died

this one is about how my dad died and how it all felt to me emotionally and mentally.

wrote this almost a year ago and is honestly the best thing i've ever written. it is absolutely the most HONEST thing i have ever written. i wanted to write it down because i did not want to forget it (which is another story to tell)

I remember the day well. Like closing my eyes could easily bring me back to September 2019. I’ve always been wary of happiness. My happiness, I mean.

For instance, if it were to occur, I’d question rejoicing or celebrating. I’d question if it were mind. I’d question its time with me.

I had no attached feelings for the day.

We had just moved in into this little house in El Dorado. Saying its name is giving me chills now. I was jobless. My dad, jobless. But, this felt like a new beginning. More forced than relief.

We couldn’t afford to stay in the house we were staying at. Though, we did last 4 years with our half empty pockets.

Days prior to that day, Sunnies Studios offered me a job. Well, no, they wanted to interview for a job. The location? Ortigas. Wait, no. Somewhere in Fairview. Eastwood? I’m unsure now. It seemed like a stretch. But I wanted to give it a try.

Like with any good news I get, my dad was the first one to know. The brown leather chair turned facing the tv, my dad watching a movie as always. I come in and break the news. We both knew the Sunnies office was far. But we said we’ll make it work somehow.

Anyway, it had been bittersweet for the past couple of months. Losing my job. Losing an ex. Selling ALL my clothes. It was something new. Extremely bittersweet. The first evening of us moving in, I sat on the couch with my dad. We watched The Phantom of the Paradise. We sat on the brown leather couch in the cramped living room, filled with our stuff in plastic bags from the move. My head aching. Feeling, to be honest, bad vibes from the new house. I’m not sure why I felt the vibes were off. I wish I knew then. But dad and I spent that night reminiscing, watching The Phantom of the Paradise. A rock n’ roll version of the phantom of the opera. Pointing out why the movie was a genius and disturbing rendition of the original. Dad told me he was happy that night. Because he felt like the worst was over. Maybe, in a way, he did feel that way. He did, at the same time, express his pain over his siblings (tito ton and mommy ging) treated him. They sent him a horrible text message that day. It was actually all Tito Bicoy heard from dad. How confused and hurt he was from that horrible txt. He didn’t respond to them, of course. My dad hated confrontation.

I didn’t get that much sleep that evening. To think I had an interview at Sunnies at 10am the next day. Dad couldn’t drive me all the way. But he said he’d drop me off at SM Bicutan so I could just get a grab from there. At 8am that morning, I entered the pick up truck, not knowing it would be the last drive with my dad. We only had a short conversation. Short, because El Dorado isn’t that far from SM Bicutan. I never leave dad without telling him I love him and without hearing him say it back. That was the last thing I heard him say to me with his mouth. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know.

I was texting my dad the whole time. Updating him after the interview, I told him I’d tell him everything once I got home. Which I always have done. Nothing worried me. This is what really hits me the hardest when I think about the last hours before it all happened. I think about it, trying to go back to that time, trying to find clues, signs that maybe he knew it was his last day. I can’t fathom the fact that I didn’t know. He probably didn’t know either. I just find that crazy. How they all start as normal, ordinary days. The tragedy hiding underneath the mundane. It feels like such a horrible trick to play on mortals. To live, breath, and die for uncertainty.

I was heading home. I texted my dad that and he even replied. I saw the new road taken home. Te empty neighborhood streets I’d be walking my dog on.

I saw the lights on in the living room. Indicating the presence of my fathers occupancy. No matter what house we were in, it was the same sign that he was there, he was home, waiting for me to get home.

I get off my ride, and called out “Dad?”

No response.

Weird, because he usually responds. He usually always says back “here!”

Again, I call out “Dad?”

No response.

I open the screen door leading to the living rom.

It doesn’t register right away. Not right away. My train of thought, my consciousness, the slowest it has ever been.

I have never seen my dad in a physically fragile state. Asleep, yes. But not even when he’d get mild fevers did I see him helpless. Never helpless.

“Dad?”

I found him in his black shirt and black shorts, face down on the floor.

“Dad?”

I step over him and find that his blood is dripping out of his mouth.

“Dad?”

I have no control of what comes out of my mouth at this point. I sound like a broken record. Calling out for my dad who I clearly see, unconscious on the floor.

“Dad?”

I try to move him again. As if the first attempt wasn’t an indicator of what is happening and what is going to happen.

“Dad?”

No tears. Pure panic.

“Dad?”

The moment I see that the color has been flushed out of his hands, it was when I knew. Like something snapped in me.

“Dad?”

I continue, yelling now. I am yellow now.

“Dad?! Dad?! Dad!? Dad?!”

I run out of the house, yelling still. Panicking. My stomach dropping. like the moment finding him like that happening over and over and over in my head.

I am trembling now.

“HELP!” finally comes out of me as I stand in the middle of El Dorado’s empty, evening street. Nothing bad happens this early. Not at 9pm. Not at this hour.

“HELP!” again

And again. And again. And again. And again.

A middle aged couple comes out, asking what happened. I barely get the words out. My face, my panic says it all for the husband to rush inside to see what was used to be my dad.

More neighbors rush out.

I must have repeated myself a dozen times, completely out of touch with my own emotions to realize that repeating myself usually annoys me.

I must have repeated myself a dozen times before I decided to call for help from someone I know.

Yaya wasn’t around. She was in the old house cleaning up. Her phone wasn’t ringing either.

One of the neighbors finally got to call the nearby hospital. Something I didn’t think of doing. A number I didn’t have saved. A number I thought I’d never really get to call. Not for emergencies. Foolish, I know.

“My dad”

was all that came out of me now. No question mark. I am no longer looking for him. I have found him. My mind is aware now. My mind knows now. My feet cannot stop running back and forth outside where my neighbors had just figured out I don’t have siblings and my mother is nowhere to be found.

Walking back and forth. To my dad and my dog, not panicking, not knowing.

Walking back and forth. To my neighbors remembering seeing my dad move in yesterday.

Walking back and forth. To my dad on the white porcelain.

“My dad”

I am not crying. I don’t feel it. I feel panicked.

I feel, I see my life changing before me.

I see the gaps in my days.

I see my newfound relationship with loneliness.

I see, this, outshining every nightmare, every monster that manifested itself to destroy me.

Finally, an ambulance arrives.

I take a seat right next to the driver.

While they hauled my dad, what used to be of him, in the back. I can’t believe THIS was the last car ride with my dad.

The drive turns on the engine, and that is when and where it hits me.

I have never been in an ambulance before.

Never in my life have we ever rushed to the hospital for anything.

I’m alone.

No, I know. I have my friends. The people who love me.

But right now, losing my dad to a new house’s porcelain floor,

losing my dad the way I knew my dad,

losing my dad the way he was with me,

The Beatles, Panda Express, car rides, movies….

No, I was alone.

The lady at the front desk of the emergency room handed me a form to fill.

Everything offended me. What do you mean “procedure”?

This kind of shit happens everyday?

You mean the most important chunk of a person’s life gets taken away everyday, happens so often that time keeps going for everyone?

Yup, I was alone this.

Again, I ran back and forth in and out of the emergency room. Just like I did in the house in El Dorado.

It was the first time I felt nothing and everything at the same time.

I asked the universe why it would allow such a crime. To take from the needy. To take from the lonely. To take from the broken. For me to be in need, lonely, and broken beyond repair.

There were more people, the expected people.

More questions. Same answer, like an answering machine.

Procedure, procedure, procedure.

It was all a rush, all a blue.

Dad didn’t reach me how to book a funeral home for him. How to deal with grieving friends and family. How to act in a funeral. What to wear.

They say “death doesn’t happen to you, it happens to your family and friends.” I felt like I died then.

Like the biggest, softest, warmest part of my heart had wilted.

My dad took up so of me. The same amount of space in me wilted.

You stop functioning property when your best parts don’t work. I run memories now.

And love. A lot of love.

My dad loved me enough for 3 lifetimes.

#heh #pers

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joy-of-life88 · 1 year

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Can I love again? [a Roman Reigns story] 13 Ultimatum

Roman POV

Slowly I walked through the aisles backstage while my angel clung to me for dear life. It hurt me so much to see her so devastated. She didn't deserve to be treated so disgustingly. Not from anyone and certainly not from that bitch. How dare she? How desperate and crazy did one have to be to sink so low?

I kicked open the door to the locker room and took a quick look around. There were only a few of the guys here. I sighed, because I was actually hoping that no one would be here.

"Can you please leave?" I asked in a more than strained voice.

They immediately sensed that I was not in the mood to argue and just left the room. Well, all but one. Seth, stayed behind. His gaze wandered back and forth between me and Y/N. Immediately he frowned in concern.

"What happened?" he wanted to know.

"Later. Can you do me a favor? Please get Stephanie. Tell her it's urgent. Thanks," I replied.

Seth nodded, looked at us for a moment longer, but then went on his way as well. There was no way the conversation with Stephanie could wait. I wanted this fake snake gone. Even if I might have to take extreme measures to do so. It did not matter to me. All that mattered to me was Y/N.

"It's all right, angel. We are alone. Don't worry, I'm with you," I whispered, hoping she would calm down a bit. But I doubted that would happen anytime soon.

"Why? Why did she have to do that? I don't understand!" she cried with her head on my shoulder as I sat down on the old, worn leather sofa that stood in the corner of the locker room.

"She's just jealous. I promise you, Y/N, that she will never come near us again," I said softly as I continued to stroke her back. I could feel how irregularly she was breathing.

"It's already too late. Now everyone knows that I lost my family. She made me say it out loud. All she wanted was to humiliate and expose me. And she succeeded. I was finally feeling better. I was starting to come to terms with the loss of James and my sweet little Eric.

I could breathe freely here because no one was looking at me with that look. It felt so good. Now that's over. It will be just like back home. I can't be reminded of this loss over and over again. It hurts, Ro. It hurts so much. Make it stop," she sobbed.

Seeing her like this broke my heart. Just like the day she told me her story for the first time. I would have done anything in the world to take away her pain.

"I know, baby. And it will always hurt that they are no longer with you. But you know they'll always be near you. James and Eric will forever be a part of your life. But you have to move forward. You are so strong. Look how far you have come. You've taken your pain and turned it into the strength to move on," I explained and then kissed her forehead while gently rocking her back and forth.

After a few minutes I felt her relax. That was good. I hummed softly to calm her down a little more.

Then the door opened and Seth came in followed by Stephanie and my mom.

"Roman? What's going on?" asked Stephanie.

I got up and gently laid Y/N down on the sofa. Only then did I see that she had fallen asleep. My poor angel. She was absolutely drained emotionally. But even though she was asleep, the tears were still running down her cheeks.

"I really need to talk to you and there's no way it can wait. Mom, can you please stay with Y/N and come get me right away in case she wakes up?" I replied.

Along with Seth and Stephanie, I left the room. I had to take a few deep breaths to pull myself together.

"I want, no, I demand that Brenda will be released effective immediately," I said.

"What, why?" asked Steph, confused.

"She confronted Y/N about things from her past. Very, very personal things. She accused her of lying. Brenda thought she could get me to break up with her. And she practically forced Y/N to speak out publicly about her traumatic past. That crossed a line.

I know you warned her about her behavior towards me. And now I expect her to be kicked out. She is a spiteful, two-faced, arrogant bitch. And this behavior needs to have consequences." I explained to her as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Roman, it's not that simple..." put in Steph.

"Oh it's quite simple. She bullied, humiliated and exposed my girlfriend. Either you fire Brenda. or you leave me no choice but to leave myself." i interrupted her.

"You would leave?" wanted Stephanie to know.

"It's not just him. If that kind of behavior is going to be tolerated, you can take me off the payroll too." said Seth completely unexpectedly.

"I appreciate that, Seth, but you don't have to do this," I said as I looked at him.

"You think I want to work with someone like that? Someone who's willing to take someone down just because they've been rejected? No, bro. I'm on your side." he replied.

Then we both looked at the woman in front of us and waited for her decision. Her gaze wandered back and forth between us. Until she nodded and finally said something.

"Alright Roman. You're right. We have no place for such a toxic person in this company. Consider it done." she said, then walked away.

I gave Seth a quick hug and then went back to Mom and Y/N. Thankfully, she was still asleep. Carefully, I sat down next to her and stroked her over the head.

"Is it true? She lost her husband and her baby? Why didn't you tell me?" Mom asked quietly, and I could clearly hear that she was crying.

"Because it's not my story to tell. Don't worry about it. I will make her feel better. I won't let the woman I love suffer," I replied.

#roman reigns #WWE #Don't hate on wattpad #My writing #can i love again

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omgsquee2001 · 2 years

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Family: The Hargreeves Siblings x Gender Neutral! Reader

~~~

You were a good friend of the Hargreeves siblings. You were their scape from the neglectful life they lived. You didn’t have powers like they did. You envied them. Having super powers sounded awesome! However, the siblings envied you. They never asked to be born with powers. To be bought from their birth mothers by a man obsessed with apparently “saving the world”.

You sighed, sitting on the couch in the large living room that was the Elliot’s house. You weren’t feeling the best, emotionally. You felt like, you weren’t enough. Like you could be doing more to help the siblings in their search to once again, prevent the apocalypse from happening. A stray tear fell from your eyes. You jumped as someone sat next to you. You looked to the side, seeing Klaus. Klaus smiled at you.

“What’s the trouble, bubble?” He asked, resting his arm behind you on the couch. You, unsuccessfully, wiped the tears from your face. You cleared your throat.

“U-Um, it’s nothing.” You gave him a smile. “I’m just fine.” You said. Klaus raised his eyebrows at you.

“Hun, I clearly saw you wipe tears from your face. There’s no hiding it. So spill the beans!” Klaus said. You sighed and looked down.

“I-I feel useless.” You said. Klaus frowned.

“What do you mean?” He asked. You looked at him.

“You’re all out there, trying to figure out how to stop the apocalypse, and I’m just sitting in here, just waiting and worrying about if my friends will come back or not.” You said. Klaus sighed.

Take a little time, just look at where we are.

We've come very, very far, together.

Klaus looked at you. “Hey, look around for a minute.” Klaus said. You looked up at him in confusion. He smirked. “Just trust me.” He said. You looked around. You were in Elliot’s bunker. Notes of things that could help you, mostly written by you, were hung up everywhere. The machinery you had created to help you find each sibling was set up, resting up stairs. “What do you see, kid?” Klaus asked. You sighed.

“I just see, notes. And the machinery I built.” You said. Klaus nodded.

“Exactly. Those notes and that machinery have gotten us to where we are now. We’re so close to figuring it out.” Klaus said. You sighed and looked away, still not convinced. Klaus tucked his hand underneath your chin, making you look at him.

And if I might say so,

“And if I might say so,” Klaus said.

And if I might say so too,

“And if I might say so,” a new voice said. You and Klaus turned and saw Allison, who had been out trying to find clues as to what might help them.

We wouldn't have got anywhere if it weren't for you, kid.

Allison walked down the stairs to sit next to you. You looked at her. She smiled at you.

“We wouldn’t have gotten this far at all if it weren’t for you and your determination to find us.” She said, tucking some hair behind your ear.

Love is the sweetest thing.

Love never comes just when you think it will.

“Love is, sweet.” A voice said. The three of you turned and saw Diego and Victor.

“Love, is unpredictable. It never comes right when you expect it.” Victor said. The two siblings walked down the steps. Victor sat next to Alison and Diego knelt before you.

Love is the way we feel for you.

We're family, we're family, we're family,

all of us and you!

“We’re family, kid. All of us, and you. Whether you like it or not.” He said, making you smile a little bit.

Think of where we'd be if we were on our own; you're what holds us all, together.

And if I might say so, and if we might say so too, we never could love anyone as much as we love you!

“When I first arrived here,” the familiar voice of Five said. There was the familiar “zap” of Five Spatial Jumping. He appeared right in front of you. “I didn’t know where anyone was. I thought I was alone. And I would still be alone if it weren’t for you.” Five said. Victor reached over and took your hand in their’s. //I’m not sure what Victor’s pronouns are. If someone could let me know in the comments, that would be awesome.//

“[Y/N], we could never love anyone the way we love you.” They said. You smiled at Victor, tears of happiness shining in your eyes.

Love is the strangest thing.

Love does exactly what it wants to do.

Love, kid, you know it's true.

We're family, we're family, we're family, me and you!

“Y-You guys really mean that?” You asked.

“Without a doubt.” You looked up and smiled when you saw Luther. He smiled.

“Love is strange,” he said, walking towards you. “Love doesn’t care what people think and it doesn’t let anyone stop it,” he knelt before you, gently cupping your cheek with his hand. “We’re family, [Y/N],” he looked at his siblings. “All of us and you.” Luther said.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

Without you there'd be no us.

Love is the sweetest thing.

Love does exactly what it wants to do.

Five smiled.

“We would all have turned into ashes or dust if it weren’t for you.” He said. Klaus smiled. He extended his hands, and a blue apparition of Ben appeared. He knelt before you.

“Powers or no, there’s no denying that without you there’d be no us.” He said. You smiled at Ben, tears falling from your eyes. It had been a while since you had seen him.

Love is the way we feel for you.

We're family, we're family, we're family, me and you!

“Love, [Y/N],” Alison said, making you look at her. “Is the way we feel for you.” She said. Tears of happiness fell from your eyes.

“W-We’re family. Me, and you.” You said, looking at the group. With smiles, they all embraced you in a group hug. You felt at home, with your family.

~~~~

//I decided to make another Umbrella Academy x Reader Disney addition. What do you guys think?? I might make some Black Butler x reader Disney addition.//

#the umbrella academy x reader #Disney songs

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onejellyfishplease · 1 year

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Question:

Are you taking your role as family therapist too seriously when you literally walk away from a heated interaction, make notes, then come back and talk them through an emotionally harrowing talk, during which F*CKING DIVORCE IS BROUGHT UP AND ONE OF YOUR PARENTAL UNITS CRYS MULTIPLE TIMES-

Further context, during the coronation, my dad sat us all down, me, my mom and younger siblings to watch the coronation in its entirety. Naturally my younger brother starts to fidget (ADHA solidarity I get it), loudly (our phones had been taken away in the first 5 mins) and my dad tells him to stop, he does for a bit then moves on to another loud stim. My mom then comes in and -quietly- asks him to stim quietly, he doesn’t

Note- it is unclear to me wether my brother was doing this to be a prick or note, maybe it started off genuine idk.

My dad gets increasingly pissed, and eventually my brother loose electronics (context: he has a bit of a gaming addiction) which sends him into a bit of a strop and that’s the end of that. So it seems.

Later, after the coronation, my brother wants to game on the computer, obviously my dad says no. Then my brother asks again. And again. And again.

My dad had 3 missed called from him after he left the house to run an errand.

Eventually, my dad snaps, and it devolves into yelling. I wasn’t here for this part but I know that it wasn’t fun. My mom was there but she didn’t do much, an observer.

So later, my brother is in the living room, with me, and my parents are in the next room over, arguing. Because my mom thinks that my dad was too harsh.

So after trying to calm down my brother and getting a lot of self pity and insults thrown my way, I make my way into the other room and insert myself into the conversation. It goes… alright?? Pretty badly actually.

The gist of it is that my mom thinks my dad was too tough on my brother, while my dad was saying that he felt isolated and hurt that she wasn’t backing him up. Which my mom didn’t feel like she could do because she did not approve of how he was dealing with the issue.

The convo ended there, because of extended family returning with food for the family dinner. So we collectively put on our *we’re not at all emotionally devastated* faces, which were concerningly good, and went to have dinner.

After which I had written up my interpretation of the events which transpired, I will include them here. No I will not fix the spelling.

Dad is Naturally assertive

Quick to point out problems that go against presumed order

Assumes mum backs him up

Mum takes a more constructive approach, which doesn’t directly acnolage to problem at hand, often talks directly to the person, not dad

Dad feels left out of process without vocal affermation from mum

Dad feels alone as the only one vocally pointing out issues, and is usually the only one pointing out the main issue while mum is trying to fix the issue while being as nice as possible

So dad is viewed as main aggressor and feels like bad guy, so gets louder due to built up frustration

Mum doesn’t know how to insert herself into the situation which is already heated, doesn’t want to match the energy

Mum panics due to decreasing vibes

Mum doesn’t know how to deescalte

Dad doesn’t know how to deescalate

Vibes decrase

Yep. So I talk. They talk honestly it goes well, there is a little bump when my dad talks about ‘if I didn’t care about this family I would’ve left long ago’ which I get isn’t like openly talking about divorce or even remotely suggesting it as an idea. But it’s just that’s the first time one of them has ever brought it up. Ever. Sooooo

Yay

Anyway we go in circles for a bit, but I think I helped fix the miscommunication? I hope? My mum cried quite a bit which is never fun.

Basically my mom didn’t really feel comfortable voicing eing her honest opinion around my dad because he often steamrolls her ideas, and he felt alone because she never really supports his ideas and never speaks up. So the self sabotage was REAL. Like damn. (There is like so much more but this thing is already too long)

Miscommunication is never as fun as they make it seem in books.

Anyway I don’t think I had an original point, this was mostly me just ranting.

I know it’s not healthy for me to feel somewhat responsible for my parents relationship but it’s hard not to do anything when I can so clearly see the cracks and the god awful communication.

#parenting #therapy #god my parents need therapy #my brother too #he is going through so much shit rn #and like his answer is just not to change #like ‘it’ll get better in a few years’ like boy u still haven’t recovered from what happened in middle school #I don’t want him to hurt once he leaves school and steps into the real world #but he is WAY less open to talking about his feeling then my parents are lol

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misactor · 1 year

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Tantrumania

vignettes from life as a mythical airbag

This year, I turn twenty. It’s odd to think about, since I’m awful at being nineteen, and was even worse at playing the parts of the eighteen roles that preceded it. If I were wholly therapized to my fullest potential, I’d say it’s because I refuse to acknowledge myself as a person in the world, and that any bouts of self awareness debilitate me.

I’ve been to therapy, and it felt like I was talking to a wall. That’s probably a me-problem that could be solved by several more hour-long sessions that run over to match the salt stains down my cheeks, but I don’t think I can emotionally take having to explain myself to yet another woman with rectangular glasses. Instead, I’ll blame my shortcomings on the cracks that have lined my bedroom floor since childhood. I’m pretty sure I lost one of my teeth down there, and there’s probably an evil little fairy that doomed me to an eternity of suffering because of it. Sorry for dropping my incisor in through your ceiling, but I was sad.

Since cutting the umbilical cord that once pulled me taught to the place I grew up, I’ve realized just how bad I am at keeping myself alive. Realistically, it shouldn't be that difficult. You buy food, you sleep well, and you do just enough work to stop everyone you know from whispering about how lazy you’ve gotten. I do buy food — just too much, or not the right kinds. I’ve eaten canned peaches with a fork for the past week straight, and my dinner is usually blackout binged, stopping only when the single guest — my stomach — has decided it can’t take it anymore. We reconcile the table-side insults over porcelain and water, and then I fall asleep with mint toothpaste still stuck under my tongue.

Most babies cry when the cord is cut. I didn’t, and it took months before that dam ever broke. I was a good baby (see: quiet, non-disruptive, and understanding). My mother complimented me on it for years whenever she couldn’t think of anything else nice to say to me. At some point during one of her eulogies to the women she and I were when I was young, I figured out that I really am just like her. We’re both bad at keeping ourselves alive, and the only difference is that I got born into the job of lifetime airbag for the generations that choose to lean on me.

That’s me, the mythical airbag. Always too soft or not enough, too big and never comfortable. I partook in the rituals of longing that have been passed down through frail hands and tinsel wrists, only to fall rattling in my lap, looking entirely out of place. Before meals we didn’t pray to a god or deity, but instead to a figure who all of us knew — nameless, faceless, with butterfly skin, soft lips, and arms that sat like wings at her side.

There are moments when I remember the woman I conjured when I was young. She was tall, thin, delicate — she never had to open her mouth to say anything, and her eyes spoke to the masses, cutting through lens and air. She was me, graduated from the pit of Girlhood, one that I thought I could escape and leave behind simply by going on another year with the promise of becoming prettier held safely in my pocket. I kept her close, prayed to her, and laid her down next to me every night before I slept. I took care of her, watered her, fed her with clippings from magazines and porn sites, and studied the boys who sat next to me in class — following their eyes around the room and keeping a tally of where they landed.

Like all things do, she managed to crawl out from between my fingers and run, just when I needed her to curl in on herself and ready her body to be swallowed. That promise — the one I had made to myself, my mother, her mother, and all of the other women that wanted me to heal the promises that they themselves were unable to keep — had fled from me.

In many ways, that loss was the match that struck up the rest to follow. You get to an age where your baby fat isn't baby anymore, and when people in public stop looking at your parents with disapproval, and instead turn their gaze towards you. No more shirts that show my shoulders, no more pants that show my knees. No more shoes that show my ankles, and no bare wrists until I can wrap two fingers around them and watch the nails overlap. Gone is the person, replaced instead with glass shards that are carefully glued before bed. The cracks are there, but hidden. I’m equal parts girl and craftsman, equal servings of woman and ingenue. The proximity to breakage is exhilarating. I’ve dreamt of being delicate since I was conscious of myself, and if repairing a ravaged body is my way to get there, I’ll take it.

It’s around this same time that I started fantasizing about being kidnapped by one of the men who would brush up against me in the grocery store parking lot. Instead of walking away, I imagined he’d grab my waist and pick me up (see: skinny) and toss me over his shoulder. I’d spend the next days, months, and years locked in his basement wasting away until all that was left was the phrase “you look just like your mother”. She was beautiful, and small, and that would be a triumph. After enough time, he’d see her instead of me, no more girl but woman, and fall in love.

Now, there’s nothing girl left about me, and the fantasy ends differently. We don’t make it to the basement, because he kills me in the car. I let him chop me up and serve me to his friends much later, and I smile while they chew and compliment him on his cooking. It feels good to be desired, and if this is what it takes, I’ll live in his freezer for as long as he wants me to.

Why, exactly, do I hate myself?

I write an anonymous online diary entry in hopes that someone who I know but doesn’t know me will read it. When they do, I hope the person they conjure looks nothing like me but acts and thinks the same.

Fall in love with my shadow, with the spit I’ve left on the sidewalk. Pity the way that I forget to clean up after myself, and leave a carcass when I’m gone. Admire how I taste, remember it while you devour, and don’t comment on how little is left for the rest of the dinner guests afterwards.

Most importantly, if you require your pills pre-chewed by your mother before you swallow, I suggest you look away.

#may artur #misactor #misact #writing #prose #digital diary #substack

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treehouseadventures · 2 years

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I Try To Picture You Without Me

[We’d done nothing but stay in hotel rooms since we got married. I wasn’t going to object. If this was what Leah wanted, I was going to give it to her. I knew she was hiding something, but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t want to push her on it, though. She had her reasons for keeping her secrets. Who was I to demand she tell me?

That wasn’t what a marriage was about, anyway. She didn’t need me throwing down ultimatums about what I needed to know. I didn’t need to know anything more than she was with me. Knowing that she was going to give this marriage a shot. Everything else would come with time. We were still coming to terms with what had happened. We didn’t throw the words ‘I love you’ around. Was it too soon to say it? No. Not at all. But it wasn’t something I was about to force her into feeling. There was a little voice in the back of my head that warned me about pushing that on her. She’d run. There was no doubt in my mind.

We hadn’t talked about our pasts. I knew very little about Leah’s family. I knew about where she used to call home. She had told me about the Treehouse. I could see the look in her eyes when she talked about it. There was a small amount of wistfulness there, like she wanted to go back. But I think that was more because of the guy she left behind there. I didn’t know much, just that she left everything to him to handle. And she trusted that he would. There wasn’t anything romantic there. I wasn’t stupid to get jealous. If Leah had felt anything for anyone besides me, she wouldn’t have ever gotten married to me. She was loyal like that. I didn’t ever question her, because at the end of the day, I was the one she went home with. I was the one she took a chance on.

It was something I rarely had to think about. I didn’t need that kind of a reminder. I could see the way she looked at other guys. It wasn’t the same way she looked at me. We could go out to get drinks, and guys would stare. But she never looked back. She never realized how beautiful she was. She didn’t notice the way her eyes would brighten when she would get excited. The dark brown turning to a more caramel color when I suggested a new place to visit. She hated the way her curls were unruly in the morning. But to me, they were a reminder of the trouble we got up to the night before. She wasn’t even a fan of the looks we’d get in public. I put that more on me than on her. The scar that was on my right cheek was a reminder of why I didn’t belong with this woman.

But each night, she pressed her lips against it and that was all the acknowledgement I ever needed. Physical and emotional scars be damned, we were together. Between the two of us, we had everything covered. The only thing we could do was work through everything. Communication was the key when our insecurities came to light. There were days where we did nothing but lay in bed and hold each other. We both had moments where we needed to be reminded that the other wasn’t going anywhere.

Seeing her that way, so broken emotionally, did nothing to change how I felt about her. I was in love with her. I think I had been from the moment she sat down at that table. I was tethered to the woman I now called my wife. Nothing else mattered to me, except protecting her. Not physically, I knew Leah could handle her own. But I had to protect her emotionally. I had to make sure she knew that I wasn’t going anywhere. She needed to know that she didn’t have to count down the days until I bolted.

There wasn’t anything I had ever held against her. I knew there was more to her than meets the eye. The truth was, for everything she was hiding from me, I was hiding something from her. But my secret was to protect her. If she didn’t need to experience the world I grew up in, she didn’t need to. I felt myself shudder when I thought about going back to that life. It wasn’t something I wanted to deal with. I didn’t want to go back to the coven. My mother ran for a reason. But the pull was too great to not teach me what she knew. And the moment she tapped into that side of herself, they knew.

Having your mother teach you to be a powerful warlock wasn’t something I wanted to blast around. It grabbed the attention of people that wanted to cause harm. It was something I wanted to leave behind. I didn’t want people to want me for that reason. I wanted people to see the other side of me. The one that was still a man. So it was a side I kept hidden. And even now, I wasn’t sure how Leah would react to it if I told her.

I could feel the pull in me to tie myself to her. It wasn’t a very complicated spell, but it was something that would cause a small amount of pain. Enough for a drop of blood. I refused to do it against her knowledge, though. I wanted her to have the option of walking away when I told her about all of this. But I still had to gather the courage to tell her about all of it. It wasn’t exactly something I was ready to do.

Turning my head, I watched as she rolled over in the bed. It was our last night in London before we went back to the states. Another place to visit to keep us from facing reality. The plan was to stop in Miami and just see what we wanted to do. In the back of my head, I knew we were both running from this. We had no desire to answer to anyone. We had no desire to be responsible. We didn’t have to be. My trust fund ensured that we didn’t have to settle in any particular spot if we didn’t want to. As much as Leah denied it, I knew she wasn’t going to settle anywhere other than Louisiana. Even if we didn’t go to the treehouse. Louisiana was her home. It was the only place she loved. Even if she did run from it.

She was my home. She would always be my home. I felt comfortable with her. I felt myself close my eyes and the need to have her in my arms took over. Sliding back under the covers, I felt my wife settle her head on my shoulder. After pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I readjusted her so that her head was on my chest. Unruly dark curls covered my chest. My fingers gently combed through her hair as I watched her curl deeper into my chest. My voice was a soft confession in the dark. The one thing I could say when she wasn’t conscious to hear it. The truth in a silent space.] I love you, Leah. I’d give you the world if that’s what you asked of me, Beautiful Girl. All you ever have to do is ask.

#ITryToPictureYouWithoutMe

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supportivespaceforsurvivors · 2 years

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Trigger warnings: SA attempted grooming death of a parent mental abuse emotional neglect religious trauma EDs

Validation and acknowledgment I’m so sorry that this is so long feel free to ignore this I kind of got carried away :)

So my parents got a divorce when I was 2 and at 4 my mom remarried to a great guy and we moved an hour and a half away. My dad lived with his abusive parents my grandparents They mentally controlled him and I and I didn’t realize the extent till the last few years. They made me feel like if I didn’t do what they wanted all the time they wouldn’t love me and turned me against my moms side of the family. They are also very religious and told me my mom and I would go to hell if we didn’t obey them. My dad was an alcoholic and I had to basically be his therapist when he was drunk he would cry to me even at the age of like 6/7 I also heard them scream at him every night and I would have panic attacks in my room whenever I was at their house. My dad was my hero I worshiped him he was like my best friend and he died when I was ten. I am about to be 16 now and I still get so so sad over him and what he went through and how much I miss him. My mom has been extremely toxic and controlling my whole life but she’s also had such a traumatic upbringing. She gave me an eating disorder and never noticed how bad my mental health was as a kid she never protected me from my grandparents even though she knew what was going on. She used to scream and scream at me when I binged instead of helping me. When I was 12 a male teacher started paying me “special” attention in class. He would give and only me the answers on tests let me do whatever I wanted in class and talk to me every class while everyone else was working. He would praise me to whoever was picking me up and even bought a shirt to match mine. He said it would be our “special little thing” to wear it on fridays. I was very creeped out and scared at this point and I told my mom she completely blew me off and said I was just being dramatic. That night I had a dream where he raped me. I completely distanced myself after that and he backed off. I constantly think it didn’t matter because nothing actually happened but it mattered to me. I told my mom and she made me feel horrible. I was being severely bullied by my whole class that year and it was just awful. When I was in 6th grade a boy next to me started masterbating in the middle of class I was pretty innocent and it freaked me out the boy on the other side of me was like why are you being so dramatic this is normal. and When I was in elementary school this boy I was friends with SAed me. We were doing a test and he told me if I didn’t let him do what he wanted he would tell the teacher I cheated on his test. He sat me down in his lap and kept telling me to pull my pants down more I don’t remember anything after that. I told my mom a few years ago and she didn’t believe me because it happened at school she just told me I had a nightmare. It wasn’t a nightmare it was real why would I make that up. My mom makes fun of me for being “childish” I do things like collecting dolls plushies and watching cartoons to cope with my traumatic childhood and it really hurts :( I just feel so weighed down because of my trauma and just very very alone

Hey anon,

I will absolutely answer this because you deserve an answer!

I am sorry for what happened to you. It is a lot and it is understandable that you feel weighted down by it.

Honestly, your mom should have protected you from your grandparents and she should have believed you all that you experienced. There is no excuse that she didn’t, not even that she experienced trauma herself. She is your mom and believing you and fighting for you is her job. And I am so sorry that she didn’t and even emotionally abused you herself.

What your teacher did to you is grooming and you are wrong when you say “nothing actually happened”. A lot happened and you felt uncomfortable (for a good reason) and you had no one who’d protect you.

It is normal that you don’t remember all of the sexual assault, it still is exactly that. And you were right when you freaked out in class. That was not normal and not okay, even without your past experiences.

And most importantly: plushies and cartoons are nothing exclusively for children. Do what makes you happy. Many people, who had a traumatic childhood, make up for it later. And even if you just like those things for no reason, it is still completely fine.

You are not alone and there will be people who believe you (I do). You should really seek out professional help to process all of this.

Have a nice weekend and please do something you enjoy.

Mod Robin

#csa tw #emotional abuse #eating disorder tw #grooming #death tw #religion tw #answered #anon #ask #mod robin

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angelplummie · 3 years

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Okay so like for starterssssss, I love getting represented as a chubby gal 🥺🥺 so I love you for writing that last Oikawa imagineeeee 😩😩😩

Soooo, I was wondering if I could request a plus size reader that really likes Kuroo, (and he’s like a super cliché bad boy🤰🏽) but he’s too embarrassed to be seen with Y/n. So she starts to hit on his friend or try to make him jealous. (I want you to add your own little idea here! But likeee, make her a baddie 😘😘)

Thanks baby 😚

HE’S A SCUMBAG DON’T YOU KNOW

KUROO X CHUBBY F!READER

Angsty?? kinda, a pinch of suggestive stuff

masterlist

post girlboss was referring to

a/n:i decided to go for emo / anger issues / definitely has punched a hole in his wall kuroo, just cuz i love writing losers, and i love seeing grown men cry. reader is like 20/21 just like college age yk, kuroo is 23 as stated in fic. p.s where my artic monkey hoes at

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex n specific sexual acts, suggestive stuff, uhhh bad boy but he’s not a (bad boy) he’s just a (bad) (boy) he’s just no good, like no fr never date guys like this, he may SEEM COOL and give you the dick but girl you will be so embarrassed once u realised u gave up the kitty for a man that genuinely believes tame impala and mac demarco are unheard of and calls himself an empath even though he’s mean to his mum every time she comes over to help with the laundry and has manipulated every girl he’s ever been in the vicinity of but i digress! on with the story!

“Kuroo-!” you yelped in surprised, bed bouncing beneath you. The second he had thrown you down, he ripped off his shirt and made a noise of frustration when he couldn’t shed his skinny jeans fast enough. Brows furrowed, he began hopping furiously to yank them off.

You laughed, much to his annoyance.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep up with that. What’s the rush?”

He sighed, and carefully pulled them off his ankles. Standing up straight, he seemed to have composed himself, with that cocky smirk on his rugged face. Your eyes trailed down his lean, long body. It was all you could do not to scream, he was so gorgeous. He took a few sweeping steps to where you lay, and got right on top of you, hands either side of your head. His eyes bore into you, it made you squirm internally, not that you would ever admit it.

“Just want you so bad, kitten.”

You barked out a laugh as if your heart didn’t jolt at his stupid pet name. It was such a stupid name, but coming from him it made you melt. Again, not like you’d ever admit it.

“Ew, Tetsu don’t call me kitten, it’s cr-“

He cut you off by leaning down and kissing you, you could feel his snake bites against your bottom lip. He groaned softly, shoving his tongue down your throat. He tasted like his sour apple vape, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through it. You could barely contain your butterflies, eyes squeezed closed.

“Come on babe, you know you like it.”

No matter how many times you and Kuroo hung out, it always felt so fresh. Maybe it was because he was exciting, or because he was a little bit wild, you didn’t know.

He leaned down closer to you, getting on his elbows, deepening the kiss. He pulled away and smirked at your breathlessness. With a slender, ring adorned hand, he reached beneath your top and cupped your tits over your bra. He gave them a sharp squeeze and started placing chaste kisses on your neck. He was considerate like that, didn’t leave hickeys because he knew they’d be hard to cover for you. He groaned as he jiggled the fat of your boobs in his hands,

“God, you have the nicest tits, babe.”

You had been dating for nearly 3 months now, if that was what it was. To be honest, you weren’t really sure what you were. You hang out all the time at his or your place, there was rarely a time when you didn’t have an ache between your legs, one way or another. He didn’t really take you on ‘dates’ but chatting to him was fun in itself, you didn’t need to go out to do that. He didn’t necessarily say romantic stuff either... but he didn’t not say romantic stuff either? He beat up your ex at a party one time! That had to mean something right? He exactly wouldn’t tell you how he felt but he showed you, kissing your cheek or tilting your chin up to look at him or kissing your neck or feeling you up. But that usually led to sex, so you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like you only screwed though, you watched your favourite movies together... although the last couple times he just started fingering you. You showed him your playlists? No no, he showed you his playlists, his sex playlists. There seemed to be a common theme here. But... there were times, afterwards, when he would pull in you so tight, tell you how good you were for him, how well you did, how pretty you looked. Any doubts you had were gone after a few hushed words on his tobacco reeking rickety old bed. You’d never really had a relationship like this before, but you assumed it was just because Kuroo was so chill. You were probably boyfriend and girlfriend, he just didn’t feel the need to announce it, he was laidback like that. So what if you guys had a lot of sex? Weren’t you a new couple? Wasn’t this just the honeymoon stage were you can’t get your hands off each other? You didn’t want to seem high maintenance and nag, so you let it be. He was sweet enough to you, right now everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

A clatter sounded downstairs, the door slamming open against the hallway wall.

“Kuroo! Hey man, I brought some California!”, a voice called from bellow.

Kuroo broke away immediately, spit trailing from your neck to his pink lips.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Kuroo mumbled, pushing off the bed and scrambling the pick up his discarded clothes and shove them back on.

You sat up, disgruntled, rearranging your bra strap from were he’d kneaded at it.

“What’s wrong? Who is that?”

He shot you a glance before continuing to yank back on his jeans.

“Uh, so change of plan, I can’t do tonight. I need you to go home. Discreetly.”

What?

“What? Tetsu, I’m already here,” you scoffed.

What was going on?

Why was he acting like this?

You had never seen him so... frantic.

“I know babe, and I’m really sorry about that, but my friends are here early than I said.”

“So? Can’t I meet your friends?”

He didn’t reply for a moment, just let out an exasperated breath, zipping up his fly.

“Well, yeah you can meet them, just not with me. I don’t want them knowing that I-“

He cut himself off, but you had heard enough to understand.

There was a beat of silence, only disturbed by Kuroo’s friends calling for him.

Your mouth hung open, and you scoffed in shock.

You shouldn’t be surprised really. It’s so obvious now that you think about it. So that’s what this was. That explains everything. He didn’t really like you, he was just using you. That’s why he didn’t take you anywhere, or why he didn’t show you he cared. It was because he didn’t. He wasn’t “afraid of getting close to people” or “emotionally distant”, he was just upfront about not giving two shits about you aside from your vagina. I guess he didn’t want his friends to know he was furiously screwing a fat girl any chance he got. He was embarrassed of you. You were something to be ashamed of. Your stomach jerked as you got to your feet. You were pissed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t really hurt. You had liked him. A lot.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You could see the panic in his eyes, it was quite funny actually. Of course you new what it meant, but it still made you feel a little better to watch his eyes widen like that, to hold a shred of power over him.

“I mean- well I didn’t- come on babe you know I didn’t mean it like that-“ he laughed nervously, not noticing the footsteps in the landing. You rolled your eyes. You may have been naive, but you certainly weren’t going to fall for his shit again. Whatever he spouted.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Just say it, your embarrassed of me.”

“Y/N, please, don’t you think-“

Two men burst through the door, one with spiked grey hair and one with fluffy black hair.

“Kuroo! What the hell are you doing up here we’ve been-“ the grey haired one, stopped when his eyes went from a shirtless Kuroo to you.

Your eyes flickered to Kuroo, he looked mortified.

“Ah. I see. Well, Akaashi, we better give these two some time, we can just-“

“Oh no, I was just leaving,” you grabbed your jacket from on top of his chest of drawers and turned back to the two men, putting on a big smile, adrenaline and fury spurring you on.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.”

Your eyes shot to Kuroo, who looking like get was about to shit himself.

“You probably haven’t heard of me, me and Kuroo have actually been having sex for three months. He kept it a secret because he’s embarrassed of me. We should hang out soon though!”

“Y/N-!” Kuroo yelled, exasperation clear in his tone, but you were already descending the stairs.

He came into the hall, hands rubbing his temples.

“Y/N just come talk for a second, I can-“

But he was cut off by the door slamming.

You got in your car parked outside and sped away.

The whir of the engine and the monotony of the roads cleared your mind a bit, a mist of anger still remaining.

You can’t believe you let yourself be tricked. you were a fully grown woman, but you had been reeled in hook, line and sinker. Not only had you been reeled in, you have been reeled in by a man that still had tik tok LED lights in his room and a fucking monster can collection at the age of 24 fucking years old. The more you thought about him, the more you realised how much of an emo loser he was. Of course you were still hurting, but it was more of the angry hurt you feel when it turns out your crush is homophobic or something (been there done that, don’t ask). He was a waste of oxygen, you had decided by the time you made it back to your apartment. A waste of perfectly good space that could most definitely not get the kitty anymore. You got inside your house, pulled on some comfies and got on facetime with your friends.You told them all about what happened, and they passionately bitched about him with you, confirming your suspicion that they never liked him in the first place. They also told you to forget about his existence, he wasn’t worth a slither of your brain power, he was dirt compared to you. All in all, you felt marginally better, saying goodbye to your friends while they still giggled about how stupid Kuroo’s hair was.

This was just a speed bump, you thought as you tucked yourself into bed, you would get over this.

Fast.

“Who’s Bokuto been talking to all night?” Yamamoto leaned over to ask Lev, shouting over the blaring music.

It was a week after you had thrown Kuroo to the curb, and he was out with a couple of volleyball friends, some from Nekoma, but there was also Bokuto with them.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s Y/N something? She’s in class. She’s pretty chill.”

Kuroo’s ears perked up, and he turned around to face his friends up against the bar.

“Bokuto’s talking to who?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Y/N. She goes to my-“

“I know who Y/N is,” kuroo snapped, taking a swig of the beer in his hand and scanning the dance floor for either one of you. He found bokuto first, shoulder against the wall, holding a drink as he leant down to have you whisper something in his ear. That’s when Kuroo paid attention to you. You looked... you looked gorgeous. He felt jealousy creep up inside him. How many times had you been out looking like that since you broke things off? How many guys had you slept with since? How dare Bokuto chat you up when he knew you two had been a thing? Wasn’t he meant to be Kuroo’s friend? As Kuroo wound himself up, you and bokuto continued your extremely pleasant conversation.

“I just wanna say, sorry about Kuroo. He’s a real bonehead, but we’ve been friends since high school so I can’t ditch him.”

You snorted into your cocktail.

“What?”

“Bonehead?”

He frowned and straightened up indignantly.

“Yeah, and? What’s wrong with bonehead?”

“No no, nothing, it’s just very Legally Blonde.”

He beamed down at you.

“I love Legally Blonde!”

“You do? Me too!”

This big beefy man was very cute, you had been talking for nearly three hours now, but you never ran out of things to say. And, aside from the obligatory introduction compliments, he had not made any move to try and get you into a wendy’s bathroom as quick as possible, which you couldn’t say of yours and kuroo’s first meeting.

He had dreamy eyes, you noted as he smiled for the nth time that night.

“Whose your favourite-?”

“What the fuck are you doing man?”

You glanced scathingly over to the familiar face of your old fling.

“What?” Bokuto asked back, clearly done with his friends bad boy shtick.

“Why are you talking to her when... when you know?”

“What’s there to know? I’m talking to her because I want to, and she wants to.”

He looked over to you for approval.

“Right?”

You nodded, a little nervous. You hated Kuroo’s guts, but you knew how weirdly possessive he was, you didn’t wanna cause trouble for Bokuto.

“See? Now I don’t think she wants to see you, right?”

He looked at you again. You nodded again.

“Ok? You guys are over, now are we done?”

Kuroo huffed. His eyes flitted from Bokuto to you, remembering you were there most likely, and he scowled.

“No, we aren’t done, what are you trying to pull anyway? Trying to piss me off by talking to someone I know? Are you really that petty? Well, your little plan is working, so just-just stop, ok?”

You felt like screaming. You had just come out here to have a nice time, not listen to Kuroo’s narcissistic whining.

“Can you just fuck off? Was I not clear enough or something? You’re dead to me, Kuroo. I’m just trying to have a nice night.”

Kuroo’s mouth gaped open. He had never been spoken to like that, never. He clenched his fists at his sides and his glare intensified.

“You’re lucky I gave you the time of day, fat ugly slut.”

He grabbed Bokuto’s shoulder roughly, turning him to face him completely.

“Hey man, thanks for clearing up my sloppy seconds, really good of you. Good to know I’ve got great friends like you.”

Those were the last things out of Kuroo’s mouth before bokuto landed a punch on his cheek, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re a fucking asshole man,” Bokuto grunted.

He stepped over where Kuroo lay, and held out a hand for you to step over too. You took it quietly and trailed along behind him to the door, fingers still locked. His hands were warm, and big. Kuroo’s face must hurt right now. The thought made you smile. He held the door open for you before sighing, resting his back against the wall. You stood in front of him, twiddling with your fingers.

“I am so sorry about that,” You apologised, embarrassed and shaken by the scene Kuroo had made, “I shouldn’t have wound him up, and I shouldn’t have talked to you after I knew you guys were friends, I promise I didn’t mean to start anything.”

“Don’t be, if anything I’m sorry for not making him leave right away. And either way,” he gently reached for your hand again, and you let him take it,”I’m glad you talked to me. I’d like it if you talked to me even more.”

DISCLAIMER FOR KUROO STANS!!!! I DONT THINK HIS HAIR IS STUPID!!! it’s just when ur bestie is going thru a break up or anything entailing a male you shit talk everything about him to high hell, doesn’t matter if he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. also i have no ill will towards kuroo nor any of the characters i write shit bag fan fics about i just like to complain any way i hope you enjoyed! reblogs and replies always appreciated!!!

#haikyu x reader #haikyu x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!!#hq x y/n #haikyu angst #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq x reader #angst #kuroo x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsurou #bo x reader #haikyuu x chubby reader

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