Andrew and Neil on the amazing race
They were signed up the same season that they start playing on the same team to 'rehab their rivalry' to the public. Kevin saying it's a bad idea is 90% of why they agreed to it.
(Maybe the Moriyamas are willing to cut Neil some monetary slack % if he wins and gives all the money to one of Ichirou's charities also so they're determined to do that. Still, it's mostly Kevin saying it's stupid that makes them agree.)
The FBI are freaking out that Neil's running all over the entire world but also Browning cannot deny that Andrew and Neil have excellent on-camera chemistry.
They get orange as their team color and Andrew bemoans it because he thought he was done having to look at this particular eye-searing color but Neil vibrates with excitement.
Andrew is unbeatable at any and all trivia questions challenges, Neil can, will and has eaten anything.
There is one leg where the reward for coming in first is a delicious vegetarian meal and Neil intentionally gets them in second place because he will eat bull testicle no problem but will not eat that. Andrew's mild irritation over this is absolutely edited to look like a huge fight since it's the literal only inter-personal drama the team has the entire season. They absolutely start shit with other teams and do ZERO alliances and just continue to whiz right through the competition without any.
Andrew drives and can whiz through any technically difficult challenge, Neil gets them through any and all direction related issues through his foreign language abilities and also for some of the countries he's like "oh that's like two streets over. It's ice cream in the front and weapons shop in the back." He says this shit to the camera and no one knows if he's joking (he's not).
Andrew curls up in Neil's lap on quite a few flights just because he's having a bad time with that. Neil always just starts saying / doing things that just cannot be shown on TV to protect his privacy.
If Neil has to close his eyes and Andrew takes him by the hand as they go through a house of mirrors labyrinth challenge then no one says anything about it.
They win by a landslide the host comes up, "So how do you feel about Neil now?" Andrew just looks at Neil, "I hate every inch of him." he says and they walk off hand in hand to the great confusion of literally everyone.
Edit: Thanks @the-inner-musings-of-a-worm for the idea once again!
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5 Insanely Underrated (Dark) Queer Book Recs for Your TBR (No Spoiler Reviews!)
I ain’t gonna beat around the bush, folks--this post has been a long time coming. Over the past year, I have somehow stumbled into my new favorite genre, leaving the careful days of YA comforting fantasy reads behind (but not forgotten!). I used to never be one for the dark, grisly, and not so man-made horrors beyond comprehension. But with the help of time, mind devouring storytelling, and gut wrenching emotions the world loves to carve out of us all, tastes have changed! So without further ado, let me recommend 5 of my favorite (darker) queer reads of 2022. Titles are linked to official Goodreads summaries while I have included my no-spoiler reviews below.
Some of these are horror, some fantasy, some tragedy, and most a mix of the above. As the new year draws closer, if you’re feeling ready to branch out (or branch in!!) please consider giving these severely underrated titles a read. And support lesser known authors while you’re at it!
As the title of the post implies, these books tend to brew darker than your average cup ‘a joe. So please heed included trigger warnings and take care!
1. You Will Love What You Have Killed by Kevin Lambert
(Original title: Tu aimeras ce que tu as tué. English Translation by Winkler Donald).
Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror, Canadian Literature, Queer AF
Review: If you’re not a fan of blood, gore, and every horror under the dying sun, scroll away now. Starting off incredibly strong and incredibly twisted with French-Canadian Lambert’s debut novel, You Will Love What You Have Killed, this novel is neither for the faint of heart nor some of the hard of heart. I went into this book knowing next to nothing about what was in store and left somehow feeling more empty than before. As arguably the darkest and most gory book on the list, this surrealist take on childhood rage and post-humous revenge on the town that discarded you before you had a chance to fight back is bound to haunt you long after you’ve finished it. Lambert’s own style of dark and nauseatingly twisted humor will either seal the deal for you, or leave you running for the hills. To be honest, I loathe this book as much I appreciate the queer, surrealist landscape of apocalyptic vengeance. Brownie points for being flat-out strange.
Content Warnings: if you can think of it, chances are its here. loads of death and murder, including that of children, suicide; ableism; homophobia, transphobia; pedophilia, rape, sexual abuse, explicit sexual descriptions, abortion, necrophilia; animal abuse, killing of animals; child abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse (by the narrator); cancer; 9/11 (comprehensive list via Ashton on GoodReads)
2. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White
Genres: YA Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, Queer AF
Blurb: In this world on the brink of man-made/god-induced apocalypse, trans-boy Benji has to fight not only to survive a hellscape determined to burn itself to the ground, but also his own role in bringing about the End. Hell Followed With Us is a queer rage manifesto, the gospel for those forced to become monsters by the same society that weaponized and then condemned them for being such. White’s novel not only brought healing to a large part of my own religious trauma, but it helped me embrace the very “monster” the so called righteous would have damned. Because when the world will villianize you anyway, revolution may very well be embracing the monster within--the monster the world forced into being. This one is definitely a keeper, and definitely a re-reader. The character diversity in this book is incredible, also for the simple fact that it isn’t forced or seemingly “trying to meet a quota”, and for canonically calling out [redacted].
Content Warnings: For a comprehensive list courtesy of the author himself, please visit his website here.
3. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca
Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror/Psychological Thriller, Short-Stories, Queer AF
Blurb: Shorter but no less impactful than the rest, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a twisted foray into the psychology of human obsession. After reading the blurb, I tried to prepare myself for the following unease and depravity I was promised. And god was that promise delivered on a silver poisoned platter. Set to the backdrop of chat forums and online messaging, LaRocca weaves a sadomasochistic love story between two women searching for deeper connection. But love isn’t exactly the right word, is it? After all, things can only get worse from the start. Suffice to say, wholesome does not live in these pages. And I need more.
Content Warnings: animal cruelty/death, body horror, gore, mental/emotional abuse, exploration of kink, very toxic example of a dom/sub relationship.
4. Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás
Genres: Adult Fantasy, Mythology Retelling, Romance, Paranormal, Queer AF
Blurb: I try not to pick favorites on list recs, but as my most recent read of the year, Nicolás’ debut novel has quickly been shelved in my mind and heart’s hall of fame. Angels Before Man is a queer retelling of the fall of Lucifer from a paradise that may not be as, well, paradise as it seems. With narrative prose so poetic that epics of the ancient world come to mind, and themes of religious rebellion and queer rage reminiscent not only of other novels on this list but also the lives of countless individuals whose love warns at revolution, Angels Before Man tells the story of the greatest disobedience Heaven had to face: the creation of sin, born from the first love that turned a jealous god to rage. As ABM only released weeks ago, I sincerely hope it’s only the beginning for this book and author. Bible? Who needs her. The Word of God? I don’t even know her. I’ve got Angels Before Man. And so will my friends because I’m gifting them this heavenly-gem (heh, see what I did there?) for the holidays.
Content Warnings: Courtesy of the author himself (list also included at start of book): Blasphemy, off-page sexual assault with related internal monologue post-incident, Self-harm, Atypical depiction of grooming, Animal death, Abuse (emotional, physical), Sexual content, Body horror, Graphic depictions of violence, Incestuous term use, Potential correlation to homosexuality being sinful, Depictions of mental instability
5. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo
Genres: Historical Fiction, Historical Fantasy, Magic Realism, Queer AF
Blurb: Of the 5 recs on the list, I have to be honest and say with full disclosure that this is my one cheat as I have not actually finished it yet. But as I can attest from the 60% progress I have made, along with two of my close friends who recommended her in the first place, Siren Queen is a breath of fresh air in a genre that is understandably stifling at times. Interweaving the monstrous industry of Hollywood with actual monsters, Siren Queen explores the sacrifices made and prices paid for the chance at stardom and just being seen, all while embracing the monster society demands of us. Largely character-driven, this book has been a slower read than the rest, but its commentary on workers’ rights and inequalities, among other social issues often at the forefront of WASPish-run Hollywood, has kept me engaged since the start.
Content Warnings: racism, racial slurs, fatphobia, violence, family violence, homophobia, sexism, drug abuse, addiction.
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