#we get it you’re married

[dans-striped-sweater]

The matching D and P mugs fuck OFF

#dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #danandphilgames #phan #We GET IT you’re MARRIED

[leclercsbf]

just carlos vying for his boyfriend’s attention.

#f1 #charlos #i’m sick and tired of them (affectionate) #eternally obsessed with the way charles says CAHLOS #he really said stop honking with the fondest smile on his face #we get it you are endeared by your manchild of a boyfriend. we are too #but god carlos is it not enough that you see him everyday #do you really have to have his attention at all times #(carlos needs it. he really does) #i absolutely can’t with these two #we get it you’re married #i am at my limit i swear i am #belgian gp 23

[personthattoleratesme]

We used to be the ones calling out that married couples were dnp coded. Now they’re doing it for us. They’re leaving us with nothing to say they’re stealing our jobs and livelihoods with this behavior it’s unacceptable

#let us say stuff ourselves!! #stop speaking!! #we get it you’re the married couple #dan and phil #dnp #dan and phil games #daniel howell #phil lester #1k

[according2thelore]

oh hey! i’m sam, and this is my father—i mean, my mother—i mean, my best friend—i mean, shit, my lover—i mean, my guard dog—i mean, the man who sold his soul for me—i mean, the man fated to kill me—i mean, haha sorry, my moral compass—whoops, i mean, my stone number one, the last string i have connecting me to reality—i mean, my soulmate—my bad, i mean, my breeder—i mean, the man i modeled myself after—i mean, shit—

this is dean. my brother, dean.

#dean would sweat if he had to fill out government forms bc he doesn't know whether to file sam as a 'dependent' #like...that's his brotherwifesonhusbandvictimlover?? #he just panics and checks every box #but 'brother' is the encompassing label--everything everywhere all at once etc #late season sam checks the box next to married and doesn't even notice until a week later he sits up shaking in sweating in bed #and THAT's how they get married #ps i'm genuinely surprised we haven't gotten a “this is dean” w just no qualifications #charlotte’s contribution: breeder #you’re welcome guys

[hilsonisthecure]

james wilson

#i love how for the life of him this man could not stay married #like we get it you’re in love with house so maybe just skip the cheating and tell him that #house md #hilson #james wilson #mine

[lindonwald]

THEY HAVE MATCHING FACE TATTOOS

#ooook we get it you’re married!!!!!!

[manyfandomsonelog]

Nureyev getting all fond about Juno showing off his sharpshooting skills… GAYASS!!!!!!!!!!

#WE GET IT YOU’RE IN LOOOOVE WITH HIM YOU WANT TO MARRY HIM #fr though. they’re dorks in love. we’re so fucking back #tpp spoilers #tpp

[vigilskeep]

i cant think too hard abt the implications of the inquisitor and a romanced josephine not being married by trespasser or i go crazy

#so the inquisitor is the equivalent of her mistress. IS that what you’re saying. i don’t think you know what you’re saying #that is a NOBLEWOMANNN #if you’re not non-mage trevelyan the implications are. well they are! #even non-mage trevelyan as a lesser noble tbh #like cassandra i vaguely get because of the divine election but ?? josie ?? girl. #the fact that this relationship can even happen. PUBLICLY ?? is insane #why does josie have any reputation at all. why didnt we immediately marry her after DUELLING HER BETROTHED #did we go to a different world while i was not looking!

[leonardalphachurch]

i love that poll. btw. we need more haterism in the world #haters

#i LOVE seeing the tags i love people hating #but also if you voted south GENUINE skill issue #except that one person who said it was just bc she wasn’t interesting in canon. valid reason actually #if you hate wyoming bc he’s a villain you’re BORING if you hate wyoming bc he’s british we should get married

[landslided]

thinking about johnny who gets roped into going on a date with some random guy because miguel is like « sensei! i think you should widen your dating horizon! » and johnny isn’t super into it but then robby is like « yeah dad, you should try to find someone » and johnny just can’t say no to the two of them so he’s like alright why not, he hasn’t really been with a guy since before he even met shannon but the kids are doing all the planning on an app and he just has to show up so that’s how he ends up meeting brian.

at first, daniel is not at all aware of who brian is, nor is he aware of the fact that johnny is queer. he’s been so busy with the dojo and with his (amicable) divorce that he’s kinda lost the plot on all of what goes on in johnny’s life. but then one day, he and johnny are tidying up the dojo after training and brian calls and johnny answers the phone and daniel is like??? who is this person that johnny is flirting with on the phone?? he learns about brian through sam who is like « oh yeah, miguel and robby put johnny on a dating app and now he has a sort of regular boyfriend? » and daniel’s head explodes because 1) UH??? 2) UH???!!?!?? and 3) *that should be me.mp3*

cue in daniel crashing all of johnny and brian’s dates with more and more ridiculous reasons (i think silver is out of prison, the dojo caught on fire, we need to build robby’s ikea furniture RIGHT NOW, there’s a wasp in anthony’s room, etc) until brian ends it with johnny who is like « welp, it couldn’t last, i don’t think i’ll ever find someone to really be with » and daniel is so close to losing his goddamn mind and doing the love actually you’re perfect to me scene

#lawrusso #johnny: welp i guess nobody wants me for a serious relationship #daniel: we own A DOJO TOGETHER. ITS LIKE WERE KARATE MARRIED. GET A CLUE!! #marie talks #johnny #daniel #« you’re alright larusso! » #ask AUs

[heylittleriotact]

I have never been more emotionally catapulted by a video game than I am from hugging a vampire. This is ridiculous.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #usually my trauma gets projected onto my PC but larian was like guess what we have for you! #I remember *exactly* how it felt when I realized that this person genuinely gives a shit about me and wants me to be happy #oh I’m not just a feather in your cap? that’s so nice. #what? you mean my own desires and autonomy matter and you’ll actively encourage me to draw boundaries and say no to things? #you mean you’re not going to get upset and pouty because I’ve been sex averse for like a month and you’re not getting laid because of it? #I’m sorry - you’re just going to hug me and tell me not to worry about it and you’re not going anywhere? #I fucking married that person #im going to give him the biggest hug when I get home 🥲

[tap-dancing-fool]

Anyone else remember in wano when Eustass Kidd kept calling Killer his partner. Not his first mate. I don’t remember him ever calling Killer his first mate. He called the rest of his crew…the rest of his crew. His “crew”. But Killer is his partner. Faggotry.

#he just kept screaming it with more and more conviction #’WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PARTNER THATS MY P A R T N E R’ #okay bby we get it you’re madly in love with each other #that’s your husband #you’re married #congrats #one piece #wano #one piece wano #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #one piece eustass kid #one piece killer

[strandnreyes]

going nine for nine on wedding mentions like it’s truly THE story of the season and they’re so annoying about it <3

#everyone else like… yes you’re getting married we KNOW #and them being all :) :) we’re getting married #the most fun streak #can we do every episode until the wedding?? #I think we can #tarlos #911 lone star

[izzystizzys]

steddyhands soulmates brainworm where in some magical post-canon (maybe s1? s2?) timeline the revenge is boarded by (gasp) actual capable pirates

izzy isn‘t up on deck when it happens, which is how it happens in the first place, and quite frankly he had a bad feeling about dropping anchor this close to port (insert past blackbeard shenanigans that turned him grey a good decade before anyone else) but when does anyone ever listen to his years of experience and expertise on this clown boat anyways

and. ok interlude. obviously they’re soulmates. obviously izzy has said nothing about it. he’s a fucked up little man with the selfesteem of a wet limpet this is selfexplanatory. obviously ed and stede are Eyeing him, but stede’s too repressed to say anything about it and ed’s too unwilling to admit he’s a very similar brand of fucked up to do much about it.

so. back to the program. even izzy cannot fight a whole entire crew - given that it is both the size it should be for a ship twice as large as the revenge and actually trained, go figure. does he still try? absolutely. everything comes screeching to a halt when someone gets a gun aimed at black pete’s head though, and they’re all rounded up on deck. there is no getting out of this one, izzy knows - he’s been on the other end of this too often not to. he wonders which one they’ll kill first, maybe fang or ivan to make a point, they’re on the stronger end of the crew -

“well well, what have we here?” the captain says, stopping in front of izzy with a leer that would usually see him relieved of one of his hands. he lifts the sharp edge of his sword to izzy’s neck, tracing the edges of the swallow izzy is cursing himself for putting in such a visible spot. “the polite thing to do here seems to inform you for the sizeable bounty on your head, hands.”

izzy sneers out a get fucked, and realizes several things at once: 1, edward cut off his beard just a week ago last, and is currently lounging in the last silk robe onboard. 2, bonnet has not a single frippery left in his closet, and has been forced into the man’s equivalent of torture (sensible clothes). 3, there’s no way charlie vane, who’s currently backhanding him to the ground, didn’t recognize at least edward.

and, 4: it may have been a mistake leaving the man to die of starvation and also marooning three years ago. obviously he can hold a grudge. should’ve shot him and be done with it.

this, izzy thinks as he’s manhandled over to where they’ve set up a plank to cross to vane’s ship, is where on the queen anne, the crew would’ve jumped into one of blackbeards ingenius rescue plans. scratch that, on the queen this would’ve never happened because the people are competent. the revenge’s crew is just shouting a lot and- whoa, he’s upright again.

vane is still smiling, the unsettling fucker, when he circles izzy’s gloved wrist with iron pressure. “you know”, he says, conversationally, “i’ve always wondered, about your mark.” cold fingers slide the glove off his hand, roll up his sleeve. izzy tries to squirm away from it, tries to throw his head back and break someone’s nose, but this is not pirate playgroup - this is a group of actual competents, a fact he curses silently as the mark is exposed to open air, a perfect match for his captains’. there’s a sharp chorus of gasps and then horrible silence that izzy cannot face, closing his eyes instead.

“hm”, vane says, “thought so.” and then pain explodes at the back of izzy’s head, and the world really does fade away.

#steddyhands #ofmd fic idea #charlie saw izzy washing years ago and instantly decided to hold on to Sensitive Information #the prick (justified??) #i lovr izzynapping fics and i think he should get to damsel a bit (he will rescue himself while the revenge is still figuring out rigging) #izzy hands exists at the crossroads of pathetic little meow meow and only competent person for miles to me #ed and stede staring at each other: what the fuck #stede: did you know??? how did you not know??? you were married for twenty years!!! #ed: we were MARRIED??? #that bit will never stop being funny #having to contend with the fact that you’re head over heels for your best friend/worst enemy #oh no he’s hot! (true love edition) #oh no he’s also kidnapped and about to be hanged! (no clickbait) #they try to pull off a daring rescue only to find izzy lounging by the revenge holding charlie vane at gunpoint back on deck #he is after all the only competent person for miles #do they get their shit together or does izzy lalalala i cant hear what youre saying hands refuse to accept their love right away? #who knows all i know is i want them to schlonk it silly style after cringefailing out of rescuing izzy #increasingly unhinged tags warning

[licantropa]

Happy Holidays!!

#Mianite #I’d like to apologize for the tag essay you don’t gotta read all that idk what happened #you know its interesting how red has called jordan ‘skipper Sparklez’ implying that he places them on the same level #especially since both of them have messed with capsize’s ship. but jordan places himself on the same level as capsize #because theyre both captains (which stops being true since capsize demotes him to boatswain) #and capsize makes Tom a captain meaning she places him on the same level as herself (Tom is a captain because he owns a ship btw) #(which btw is why capsize was like ‘you’re leaving my crew?’ to Jordan when he got the ss jerry but technically since he says the ship is #‘for capsize’s fleet’ it belongs to her) #I think the issue with Jordan and Capsize is that he doesn’t actually like her as an individual but as an idea #that idea being ‘having a teammate’ because it’s just been him up until that point. #arguably jordan doesn’t really care about capsizes feelings on things examples of this are #her saying no to getting married but he like ignores that and continues on with the idea that they’re together/ going to get married. #him throwing gold at her and assuming that was all it took to get a date out of her instead of asking (like everyone’s given her gold he #ain’t special) and the ss jerry which was made to impressive her but it’s in a color he likes and also he named it #also him stepping over capsizes boundaries and kissing her #me personally I will not write them having a positive relationship because Jordan’s ruined it for himself truly #I think we as a society need to put more blame on Jordan when it comes to capsizes death by the way #like while he wasn’t the only one in the room BUT he was the only one capable #Tucker was stuck in a hole Tom was being a bitch in the background Red was paralyzed in fear #and when Capsize gets threatened you know what he says? ‘Skipper you gonna do something’ (something along those lines anyways I don’t fully #remember) like he let Furia fucking villain monologue are you serious??? #also it’s way more interesting that they don’t get along #or maybe i just like issues idk #feel free to disagree ofc

[daydadahlias]

no but seriously the next person that makes a joke/comment about me fucking/dating my only guy friend because people 1) feel the need to press heteronormative bullshit onto every different-sex friendship and make the mass generalization that men and women always secretly want to fuck each other and 2) genuinely don’t view asexuality/aromanticism as valid and cannot comprehend how to be supportive and validating of it,, is going to get their shit rocked bc I’ve had about fucking enough of it :)

#no bc it’s happened to often #I’ve never really had guy friends tbh #like guy friends that were just mine #I’ve hung out in groups where guys were there but I’ve never had a guy friend that only me and him went and did things #bc I don’t feel safe around men uwu #but this year I’ve made a guy friend. and he’s super sweet and I really like him!! we have a great time hanging out and it’s purely platonic #he’s dating a girl and he knows I’m aroace and is totally chill with that !! so we have the understanding that I am genuinely INCAPABLE #of being into him. and he is NOT into me. we are just. friends. #but we go out to lunch/dinner and hang out and blah blah #and today we hung out to a few hours between classes and wandered around downtown and we bought matching stuffed mice lol #they’re so cute I love them #and I was showing off my mouse to people and happily explaining my day #and so many of my friends… all of my irl friends… were like #‘so you went on a date? so you’re into him? that’s a date sweetheart. you’re totally gonna get married and have babies with him’ #like those are ALL things that friends actually said #and it just made me feel like actively nauseous #bc 1) the thought of it makes me sick and 2) the fact that my friends just. don’t care about my sexuality #and my expression that I’ve reiterated time and TIME again makes me crazy #bc I know that every single time i mention Caleb people are hopping on it and wanting me to date him #and this is another reason I’ve never had guy friends!! #like oh my gOd!! I’m not into men!! leave me the fuck alone!!!!!! #yeah it makes me really upset :) #that’s my complaint of the week sigh #it’s heteronormative BULLSHIT!!! and the permeation of sex into oit society!!! #some of us don’t want to fuck our guy friends!!!! #leave me alone or be fucking nice to me #nobody would make jokes if I got matching mice with a woman #I HAVE matching stuffed animals with women!! it’s just something I do with FRIENDS #why are different sex friendships different #die maybe have u considered that