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#we are all mentally unstable
Am I doing better because I'm back to reading angst and crying?
Or
Am I doing worse because I'm back to reading angst and crying?
Who knows!
Certainly not me.
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prettiestst4r · 7 months
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I swear to everything, I've never seen a mentally stable person who was also in the Marauders fandom.
There's no person like that. They don't exist.
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aq2003 · 6 months
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really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:
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(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")
this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks
i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:
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(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)
freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama
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haunted-xander · 1 year
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When she came too, she was in a bedroom she's never seen before. Her chest felt heavy still from her actions the other day, but having had proper rest helped her keep her mind steady. The door opened and Nagito came in and sat on the edge of the bed. "You're finally awake! What a relief. I was beginning to worry you'd die in your sleep!" His voice was soft and calm, betraying no emotion. Oh, Komaeda-kun. That's right... I did find him, didn't I? I'm glad... He seems okay. "Nanami-san, I'm so happy I could see you again! And to think even someone like me could help you in your time of despair! I could just-"
"Don't bother her so soon after waking. Her mind is still shaken, she needs peace." A dull, monotone voice cut off Nagito's ramblings as a man she hadn't notice come in leaned against the now closed door. Kamukura-kun... So he's joined Komaeda-kun now? Better than Enoshima-san, I guess... "Ah, of course. You're right as always, Kamukura-sama. My apologies, I didn't mean to overload you so quickly! I was just so excited... Haaahahaha~ the amount of hope that'll be born from your journey... I can't wait to see it~" Nagito wrapped his arms around himself and started shaking and drooling, all while breathy laughter escaped his lips continuously.
...Komaeda-kun's kinda easy, huh? He gets super excited so quickly... She looked back to Izuru and noticed his blank expression had shifted into slight exasperation. If he's working with Komaeda-kun, he probably deals with this all the time... He doesn't seem too annoyed though. "...Komaeda-kun... Where are we?" There were many questions she wanted to ask, but she thought it best to start simple. "We are in an abandoned house Komaeda and I have been using for some time now." Ooooh, they're roomates. Wonder how that happened. "...Nanami. You have more questions. Go ahead and ask." Izuru made a face that made it clear he knew exactly what she was thinking, but made no move to correct her or explain the circumstances. Huh. So it really is like that. Didn't expect Kamukura-kun to actually indulge Komaeda-kun like that. Cool.
"...Well, why did you help me, Komaeda-kun? You're also..." Hesitating to say it out loud, she trailed off instead. "Brainwashed? Despaired? I am aware of my situation, Nanami-san. Unlike the others, it appears I've managed to keep some hold of my mind. It is quite hard to tell what's my own thoughts and what is her influence, however..." At the mention of that girl, his face grew dark and his tone harshened considerably. "Oh yes, her... Junko Enoshima... The person I hate... and love... the most of all... I want nothing more than to see her dead..." His eyes spiralled with mania as he started shaking uncontrollably. Unlike previously, this didn't seem to be from excitement. He was rapidly coming undone. "Huh...? Do I... hate her...? Huh? Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh-"
"Stop that." Izuru grabbed his face, snapping Nagito out of his spiral. "How boring. Your mind is strong enough to resist her brainwashing, yet awfully weak to the thought of that boring girl. I much prefer you with your mind intact." He leaned closer until their noses were almost touching. ...Is he gonna...? I guess that'd help snap Komaeda-kun out of it, but is that really appropriate right now...? "Ka-Kamu-Kamuk-kura-s-samaaaaa... I lo-love youuuuuu... I hate y-you............" Nagito began rambling about nonsense until he passed out and ended up falling backwards onto Chiaki,s legs. Is he okay...? I hope this isn't a common occurance... Poor Komaeda-kun... At least Kamukura-kun is here to take care of him, I guess... "...It seems the questions will have to wait until later. Rest, Nanami."
"...What about Komaeda-kun?"
"I will take care of him. He will be fine." Without another word, he picked up Nagito's unconscious body and left the room. Chiaki decided to go back to sleep for the time being.
+ A bonus!
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msue0027 · 2 months
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Martha Jones - Jesus Christ parallels (never thought i'd write a sentence like this)
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there's the other one who has sent me
For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. (John 12:49-50)
Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. (John 5:24)
I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30b)
I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. (John 8:26-29)
[...] for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. (John 8:42b)
etc., and so on...
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xerospaced · 6 months
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I think we need to start putting Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD/EUPD) under the microscope
I think it's high time we really get into it
Let's stop faffing about and get real
Like why do men get diagnosed with C-PTSD but women with the same experiences and symptoms get BPD
Or, hmm, I dunno, maybe why women who are undiagnosed neurodivergent are continually misdiagnosed with BPD without a moments consideration that it could be something else at play
Or how the diagnosis is given so quickly on assumption
It's almost like...
I dunno man
Anyone remember that period in the history of psychology where women who were dealing with trauma from abuse and/or sexual assault and the like were said to have "hysteria"
Ykno how they'd have one conversation with a psych and the psych would be like, "hmm, female, emotionally unstable, difficulties communicating, fragile sense of self. Oh yes yes, hysterical"
RING ANY BELLS!? ANYONE!?
As someone who was misdiagnosed with EUPD/BPD at 21 after one conversation with zero investigation. Who also later discovered they have adhd (diagnosed at 26) and autism (undiagnosed/dismissed due to adhd etc.). I find it pretty fucken sus that all these women are given this bullshit catch all diagnosis that labels them a problem and places the blame entirely on the flaw within themselves and then just... left to it.
I've been a part of BPD groups. I've seen those women. I've seen how the diagnosis has NOT helped them. I've seen how their symptoms have worsened. How hopeless they feel. How they try and try to do or be better but can't seem to get the hang of it.
And I've seen how many of them really need help dealing with their trauma, their symptoms of C-PTSD. I've seen how so many of them have had difficulties with parents friends and partners, always being misunderstood and the problem, almost like... hmm I don't fucken know - neurodivergent people maybe!
Honestly, to anyone who has been given the diagnosis of borderline. I urge you to investigate. Dig deeper. Do your own research. Look into the stats on misdiagnosis (I promise you, they are staggering!) Look at what conditions/disorders are often mistaken for borderline. Just do yourself a favour and question this label. Investigate.
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corset · 7 days
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Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible
#I can't even describe it#Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right#I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time#I'm a system so that tells you a lot already#Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes#It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about#Let me try though#Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels#of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to#different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the#time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe#It's like trying to climb a slippery incline#I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too#Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been#negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface#We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like#[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us#for the right things.]
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rifleseye · 27 days
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while percy was confident with his abilities i genuinely think that during his wrecker era was when his Personal confidence was at an all time low.
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jewishfalin · 3 months
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There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying
#the last 2 times ive been in a mental hospital it was always the most visibly jewish person who got targeted by nurses#and i happened to be the most visibly jewish person in a psychward the last time#its like. the 1st time there were more jewish people in there and the one of us who got it the worst was an older woman with bipolar disord#and like. many of us who noticed how terrible she was getting treated had to tell staff off multiple times#like wtf stop u r literally just poking her with a stick at this point trying to get her to have a meltdown so u have an excuse#to lock her away#it was so fucked#and the rest of us jews in there were like... slightly more stable enough to ignore the taunting from staff#like they'd find the smallest shit to get on our asses about or tell us we're being delusional abt things out of nowhere#like they tried to get a rise out of us specifically so they could frame us as crazy and neurotic when we get frustrated#and the last time i had the mosfortune of being the 1 of 2 jews who was visible and very unstable#i was made sick by nurses on purpose and then gaslit when i was up all night vomiting#i had to be given an injection and sedated the next day just so i would stop projectile vomiting all over my room#i had multiple seizures and they told.me i was throwing myself on the floor#they did things to make me break on purpose#and they did it to others to but#it was different w how they did it to me?#and when they didn't let me go to the main eating area bc i kept fainting/seizing they ordered me shit with pork when i have kosher diet#it was fucked and i know this is a problem#its a problem in outpatient too#i ended up homeless for like a year bc an antisemitic counselor fucked me over#vent
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indigodawns · 1 month
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em0-alpaca · 2 years
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moonbound wx-78
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yardsards · 9 months
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i never expected it, but as i get older i'm actually starting to find children really adorable, whereas i often just found them annoying when i was younger. it's fucking wild
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h3artbrok3nn · 1 month
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VENTING IN TAGZ
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owlofthenight117 · 2 years
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The Battle of the Marshmallows
Dust clears as the camera pans over a destroyed field, Owl, seen dust and soot covered, looks to the camera. Owl: It is day two of the Great Marshmallow War, dubbed the Battle of Epic Proportions by Nerd as tensions rise, the Toasted ones are quiet. The camera pans across the field where trenches had been dug out. The scenes change with Owl voicing over, the trenches are small, and few people are seen: the Toasted have fewer numbers than their foes, but they prove to be a valiant foe against the Burnt ones. Here is Nerd, who seems to be the leader of the fight.
The camera shows a shadowed figure sitting by a campfire, warming up what appear to be bullets made of toasted marshmallows. Owl continues with the voice over: Marshmallow bullets, formed from sugar, and hardened in the fire to a golden brown. They are duller than the competing ‘burned’ bullets which use the fire to completely harden the marshmallow, unfortunately it makes it more brittle, but packs a bigger punch. Another shadowy figure walks up to the shadow known as “Nerd.” They carry two smaller figures, who once set down immediately run to Nerd, grabbing the burned bullets. From the shadows Linda approaches, a sniper rifle held in her hand.
Linda: They are setting up the cannons. Fred is stocking ammunition. A boom is heard and the camera shakes. Changing scenes to the other side of the field. The Burnt ones. Trenches lit with fire, they walk on warm coals. Owl’s voice over continues.
Owl: The Burnt ones, larger in numbers, having the advantage of having the famous Spartan John-117. They are louder, and send off routine cannon firing, a display of power. As if on cue, a cannon is shot, the flaming ball of burned marshmallows shooting high into the air before exploding into a flare of flames. A shadowy wolf howls and pushes another flaming coal into the side of the trench. Kelly drops down from the top of the trench, and wacks John on the shoulder. There is no reason for it, and the situation dissolves as John and Kelly start yelling at one another. The camera switches back to Owl, who narrowly sidesteps a fallen chunk of flaming marshmallows: Mediation efforts continue as Samuel-034 tries to calm the sides. Camera changes to the lone tree, barely standing in the destroyed field. A tattered “flag” of white is tied to the branches. The Spartan is seen sitting in the tree, reading a book. A close up reveals the title “How to get your children to stop fighting” The camera pans back to Owl as another boom shakes the ground. A flying chunk of what was a cannonball hits the camera, knocking it off of its stand. The screen goes dark.
Feel free to add onto the story either though message/reblog/comments. I’ll add it/reblog it in another post :D
@embarrassedauthornerd @alpha-wo1f2 @starchaser-the-prophet @xback1021 @lialacleaf @117s-girl @valkyrie231
Ehhhh, not sure if I like it or not but…
Part 1
Part 2
Master list
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just-an-enby-lemon · 1 year
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Riddler: *creeply describing a bunch of rithualistic procedures that a voice in his head told him to do while holding an old knife*
Batman: *tied to a sacrificial tabble* I'm starting to think maybe there's something weird with Riddler.
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etherealising · 4 months
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aiekoy it ruined my mental stability, i would read it thirty times if necessary ☝🤓
i think we all need group therapy at this point, like idk why i put all of us through this heartache. but i too would read/write it thirty times over if necessary! 🥰
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