#wanted to do a mix of both wanda being literally old and also her connection to the ancients through making the same mistakes they did … | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fangirlinsweden · 3 years

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Nexus - Part 8

Part 8: Friends and moving forward

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Secrets, talk about death and loss (think that is all)

Word Count: About 4 600 words.

Summary: Y/N is a pain in the ass according to Steve. She is brought on to missions sometimes by Fury when they need help, but she is wild and does not listen to orders. She does what she wants. Now Fury has given her a place in the Avengers. And Steve is not liking it. Having to deal with her every day. He hates her. Or does he? And what is Y/N relationship with Bucky? They seem to get closer and closer.

A/N: This takes place after Avengers: Endgame, but Steve never left. Tony and Nat are still alive.

This is written for Gab’s @buckysmischief Birthday Challenge. My prompt is: “Did you bring us here to die?” “Obviously.” “I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

English is not my native language and I am doing the best I can when it comes to writing.

And a big thanks to @firefly-graphics for sharing her fantastic dividers. I love them. And used one of them in this part.

Out in the hallway, you saw Clint walking towards you. “Have you seen Steve?” you asked and Clint stopped before you. “He just finished his training so I think he will be in his room,” Clint smirked at you, but you ignored him. You walked to Steve’s room and knocked on the door. “A minute,” Steve’s voice called from inside and you stood there waiting. You started to get nervous and was thinking about walking away when Steve opened the door. Judging by the look on his face he did not think it would be you outside his door. “We need to talk,” you said and lifted the letter a bit up. Steve looked down on the letter and nodded. “I think we do,” Steve agreed and let you into his room. This was the first time you had ever been there and you took a look around. On the walls were old pictures from before mixed with new pictures of the team. Steve cleared his throat behind you. “This is awkward,” he said and walked over to his sofa. He gestured for you to sit down. That was when you saw the picture of you together with Nat and Wanda on his wall. As well as a couple of pictures of you alone. Steve follows your eyes and sees what you are looking at. He blushed and looked down on the floor. “I really thought this could not get more awkward,” he mumbled and scratched his neck. “You have really confused me,” you admitted and walked over to the soffa. “How?” Steve looks over at you. “You have been a jerk, then you try to apologize so bad that I start to wonder if you have never said that you are sorry before,” you sigh and sit down on the soffa. “And then you get me a box of things to get through one of my worst days, take care of me when I am drunk, make me breakfast and,” you lift the letter so he sees. “Writes this letter and gives me this beautiful sketch of me reading one of my favorite books.” “Hmm..” Steve looks at the letter. “I actually never thought you would read that.” “When I saw that it was from you I thought about not reading it, but I figured that you deserved one more chance,” You admit. “Thank you,” Steve said and his eyes were searching your face. Probably for a clue on how you felt after reading the letter. “And know that I am truly sorry,” Steve looks down on his hands. “I don’t know what to say or do to make it up to you.” “I think the letter explained everything pretty good,” You feel yourself blushing when you think about him seeing you so drunk. “But if you had talked to me from the beginning neither of these things would have happened. I would have told you when we were both living in Brooklyn that Bucky was my grandmother's brother. I would have wanted to talk to you about memories and learnt to know Bucky through your stories.” “Why did you never tell me?” Steve looked at you again. “Because we always got interrupted when we talked,” You explained. “If it was not Sharon it was you going on a mission or I going on a mission. It was not something that I just could blurt out and then run off to do my job.” Steve nodded. “So if I would have talked to you,” He tilted his head. “Then I would have told you the truth,” You admitted and the two of you sat there in silence. You look down at the letter again. “Steve, I understand that you have feelings for me,” you bit your bottom lip. “But I... I don’t know how I feel about you. Not anymore. In Brooklyn, I would have loved to date you and I do feel a connection. But now.” Steve’s eyes met yours and he nodded. He knew what you were going to say. “I can’t just forget what you have said or how you have acted,” You moved some on the sofa. It was hard having this conversation. “I understand that,” Steve gave you a small smile. “But maybe we can start a new chapter,” You tilt your head to the side biting your lip. “A new chapter?” Steve looks at you hopeful. “Yeah, as friends and then see what happens,” You add, trying not to blush. “I like that,” Steve admits and smiles at you. “Friends?” you ask Steve and hand out your hand. He nods and takes it. Both of you ignore the fact that you hold on a bit longer to each other's hand than normal. “You were never going to tell me that you were behind the gift basket or the breakfast where you?” you asked after a while. Steve let out a laugh and shook his head. His laugh was contagious and you chuckled. “No, I did not want it to seem that I was still trying to buy your forgiveness,” His smile made something happen in your stomach. Butterflies flying in your stomach. Something that you had not felt in awhile. The two of you sit there and talk for hours. Steve talks about his childhood growing up with Bucky and you love that you get another side of the stories that Bucky has told you.

About one and a half month later:

Steve and you have been spending a lot of time together since the letter and your talk. At first it had been kind of awkward, since he had literally poured his heart out in front of you, but he seemed to understand that you needed time. He seemed happy to be just your friend. But it did not take long before he was not just your friend. Steve soon was your best friend. He was the one you went to when you needed to talk about nightmares,missing your family or Bucky being a bit too protective of you out in the field. Steve stepped up and showed you that he was serious and that he wanted to be your friend. He also showed you respect and the true side of himself. Slowly you started to understand that what your grandmother had told you about him was true. Steve was all you had been told and so much more. His smile made you weak in the knees, his laugh made your heart skip a beat and when he touched you sometimes you forgot to breathe. You had realised that you were still in love with him and that you wanted the two of you to have a future together. The problem you had was how to tell him. It was not like you could just kiss him one day. You needed to talk, but you kept getting distracted or unable to find the words when you were alone with him.

On Christmas Eve morning you walk into the kitchen to find Steve standing by the stove making pancakes. The sight makes your heart swell. All you wanted to do was go there and put your arms around him and hug him tight, but you could not do that. You were not together. You were friends and you kind of kicked yourself, because it was your fault. If you had just forgiven him instead of requesting time he would be your boyfriend. Steve was forgiven a long time ago and now you wanted to move on and move forward with him. At first you had thought about writing him a letter, like he had done for you, but then you realised that that was kind of cowardly. This was a conversation the two of you needed to have in person, but alone. Since there was nobody besides Steve in the kitchen maybe now was the right time. You walk around the counter and Steve turns around. “What is that?” Steve pointed on your shirt. “It is a Christmas Sweater,” You looked down at your sweater. Was it something wrong with it? All you could see was the smiling Rudolf that had been calling your name when you saw it in the store you were Christmas shopping in a few weeks before. “I did not take you for the Christmas Sweater type,” He chuckled, but when he saw your face and the fact that you did not laugh with him he stopped. “Talk to me, Sweetheart,” Steve said and placed his hand under your chin and lifted it up so your eyes could meet his. “I haven't had a Christmas Sweater in a couple of years. It was a family tradition with my parents to have on every Christmas Eve,” You meet his eyes even if it was hard. “But now I have a family again and that old tradition does not make me sad anymore.” Steve nodded. “You got one for me as well?” Steve smiled one of those soft smiles that made me weak in the knees. You bite your lips and nod. “And for Bucky,” you add. “Go get them,” Steve encourages you. “You don’t mind?” you ask, feeling a bit unsure. You had never talked about Christmas Sweaters with either Bucky or Steve. “No, I don’t mind,” Steve said and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You smiled at him and left the kitchen to get the sweaters. The compound was still quiet and you thought that maybe you would still have a chance to talk to Steve after you gave him the sweater, but when you got back into the kitchen Bucky was sitting at the counter. You felt a bit disappointed but when you handed Bucky his sweater and saw the teary smile he gave you, those feelings disappeared. You had made Steve and Bucky watch Home Alone and Home Alone 2 in the beginning of December and now Bucky went around saying “Merry Christmas you filthy animal”, so when you saw a green sweater with that wording on front you knew you had to buy it for Bucky. He laughed when he saw what the sweater said and pulled it over his t-shirt. “Thank you,” Bucky got up and hugged you tight. Then he looked at the other sweater still in your hand. “What do you got there?” Bucky nodded towards it in your hands. You blushed a bit. “It’s another Christmas Sweater,” You answer and look over at Steve who was still cooking breakfast. Bucky looks from you over to Steve. You walk over to Steve and hand him his sweater. For Steve you had gone more traditional with a deep blue sweater with white reindeers and some swirls and what not. Steve pulled on the sweater at once, just like Bucky then he looked down on you with a big smile on his face. “Thank you, sweetheart,” He was so close that you could almost feel his breath on your lips. Was he going to kiss you? “I love it.” He said and pressed a kiss to your check. The disappointment almost made you scream, but then you calmed yourself down. It was your fault. He was treating you with nothing but respect and doing what he promised. Being a friend. If you wanted to change that it was up to you. Steve would not do anything without knowing how you felt. Steve had turned back to the stove so you looked over at Bucky who had a big smirk on his face. He must have realised more than you thought about the Steve and you situation. Before you could say a word to Bucky the rest of the team started to come into the kitchen and you let it all drop. There were some comments on your Christmas sweatshirts and Sam had wondered if there when you said no and saw some sad faces you promised to fix it the next year.

After breakfast you promised yourself that you would talk to Steve today and hopefully he still had feelings for you. Little did you know that it would be hard to get so much as a second alone with Steve during the day. Sam talked almost everyone into having a Christmas Movie Marathon. Before Steve had answered that he wanted to watch you had thought about suggesting Steve and you take a walk, but seeing Steve's excited face about seeing Christmas Movies you decided to watch the movies as well. While Sam and Wanda were discussing what Christmas Movie to watch first, Steve took your hand and dragged you over to the soffa. He sat down and pulled you down beside him and then he put his arm around your shoulder. You leaned against him and breathed in that scent that was so much Steve. And you felt like home. Finally Sam and Wanda decided that you should see Elf first. “That is one of my favorite Christmas Movies,” You said and smiled up at Steve. “I feel like you say that about almost every Christmas Movie,” Steve teased and you shrugged. “I love Christmas,” was all you said in response and Bucky looked over at the two of you and shook his head. During the movie Sam, Wanda and you sang along in the songs and Steve just laughed at you. Bucky muttered something about not hearing the movie, but he smiled when he said it. Then Wanda turned on How The Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey and before you could say a word. “I know, it’s one of your favorites,” Steve smiled at you which made you push him a bit before cuddling in by his side again. After the Grinch Steve said he needed some air so you suggested that you take a walk. Sam, Bucky, Wanda and Nat agreed that was a great idea and once again a chance to talk to Steve alone disappeared. Everyone left to get dressed and meet by the doors.

After walking around in the winter wonderland for an hour you found yourself back at the compound. Wanda suggested making a snowman, which turned into one big snowman, about 9 feet tall. Having two super soldiers that could lift the heavy body parts helped. When you stood admiring the snowman you felt a snowball hit you in the back. You turned around to find a smiling Bucky. Steve, who apparently saw what happened, hit Bucky in the face with a snowball and then the snowball fight was on. You had not been in a snowball fight since you were in school and even then it had not been as fun as this. It was an all for one kind of snowball war, but you managed to avoid most snowballs, Sam had more problems, since he was usually going against the two super-soldiers. It seemed that both Steve and Bucky threw more snowballs at Sam than at any other team member, so you decided to help Sam. You decided to make a couple of snowballs to be prepared to go on full attack on Steve, since you figured if you distracted Steve, Sam could handle Bucky on his own. After figuring out a plan to attack Steve, you looked around and saw that he was distracted.

Steve was looking at Bucky and Sam having a snowball fight almost by themselves. He crouched down and made a snowball, but he could not decide who he was going to throw it at. Bucky or Sam? He stood up and then he felt something hit his arm. A snowball. He looked around but could not see who had thrown it on him. Then the next one hit his other arm. He turned around in that direction, but there was nobody there. Someone was messing with him. Steve decided to throw the snowball on Bucky and that’s when a snowball hit his rear. And he heard it. Her laugh. Now he knew who was. Y/N. She clearly did not know what she had gotten herself in on. Gone where the thoughts of Sam and Bucky. Steve needed to get back at Y/N. He had a feeling that she was hiding behind a three, but when he changed his position so he could see behind the tree she was not there. But another snowball hit his rear. Her laughter filled his ears again and it made him smile. Steve always loved the way her laugh filled him up and made him warm. That was when he saw her in the corner of his eye. She was sneaking to his left and his smile got a bit bigger. He took off and caught her by surprise by tackling her to the ground. They landed in a snowdrift and Y/N laughed even more. “I got you,” Steve smiled down at her face. “I can see that,” she answered and smiled up at him. His eyes found her and he could not stop staring at her. Steve could hardly breath looking down on her rosy cheeks and the snow in her hair. She was beautiful and all he wanted to do was to kiss her. That was when he got a snowball in the side of his face. He heard someone say “Oops”. Y/N started to laugh again. “You liked that?” Steve asked and she only nodded. He took a handful of snow and pressed it down the front of her jacked. Y/N yelled out at the cold and Steve chuckled. She licked her lips and started to try and get the snow out, but it was hard since Steve was still laying on top of her. Steve’s eyes were on her lips and once again he was thinking about kissing him. “Who wants hot chocolate?” Pepper yelled from the doorway. Everyone cheered and started to go back inside. Steve stood up and offered his hand to Y/N. The look on her face was hard to read, but she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. She opened her jacket and the snow fell out. Steve took her hand and started to walk after the others.

You sat in the kitchen with everyone else getting warm again after the snowball fight. A thingel of disappointment was still in your body and mind. You had really thought that Steve was going to kiss you. Not once, but twice during the time he was on top of you. But it never happened. You looked down on the mug in your hands and then up at Steve. He was talking and laughing with Bucky and Sam. It was hard looking away from him. Nat elbowed you and you looked over at her, still half lost in thought. She moths “Are you okay?” You shrugged and looked down at your cup again. You missed how Nat looked over at Pepper and made a gesture against you and then did the same with Wanda. “Who is up for another Christmas movie?” Pepper asked and everyone was. You walked over to the sofa and sat down. Someone sat down beside you, but you did not look who it was.Tony put on The Polar Express. It made you giddy since it was one of your favorites. “Another one of your favorites?” Steve whispered in your ear and you nodded. So it was Steve who had sat down beside you. Once again he put his arm around you and pulled you close. It was hard to focus on the movie being this close to Steve and a lot of feelings and thoughts were spinning around your mind. But it was then and there you decided that you would wait to tell Steve how you feel. At least until after Christmas, you just wanted to enjoy being with your family and not wonder if Steve still loved you. And that is what you did. The whole day was spent together and no missions came up. Steve spent most of the day close by your side and it was nice.

Later that night you were tossing and turning in bed for over an hour, but sleep was not coming. So you decided to go up and make some hot chocolate. Thinking nobody else would be awake you put on a pair of fluffy socks and walked out in the hallway. It was quiet and you thought about the old Swedish poem that your grandmother used to read to you on Christmas. Only Santa is Awake by Victor Rydberg. Although when you walked into the kitchen you saw Steve standing by the window looking out and in his hands he had a cup that was steaming. You stopped and wondered if you should go back to your room, but decided to stay. “What are you doing up this late, Sweetheart?” Steve asked without turning around. How did he know it was you? Or did he call everyone Sweetheart? “I recognize the sound of your steps,” Steve said and turned around. He was about to take a sip from his cup but his hand stopped halfway to his mouth. His eyes were looking you up and down. That was when you realised you had not put on a rob or anything. Instead you were standing in front of him in your PJs. More exact your Red Christmas PJs with dancing reindeers on the pants. And the Red top with Santa that said: Merry Christmas ya filthy animal. You cleared your throat. “I could not sleep,” You said to answer Steve's question. “Why are you up?” It seemed to snap Steve out of whatever he was thinking. “The same thing,” Steve said and took a sip from his cup. “Trying to figure out what Santa has left you under the tree?” you tease him. “We both know that is more like Sam than me,” Steve winks at you. It was true. You laugh and walk around the counter to start making hot chocolate. Steve was quiet, but you could feel his eyes on you. It left a kind of tingling in your body. You hear Steve sit down at the counter, but you continue to make your hot chocolate. When you had poured yourself a cup you saw that you had done too much. “Want some?” you turned around and asked Steve. He looked down on his cup of tea and nodded. You poured another cup and handed it to him, before sitting down upside him at the counter. The silence was comfortable and you felt relaxed. You wondered if you should tell Steve how you felt, seeing as you did not think someone would interrupt you right now. But then you figured that if he still did not feel the same you did not want to be rejected on Christmas Eve.

Steve breaks the quiet after a few minutes. He started to talk about Christmas with his family, Bucky and Bucky’s family when they were younger. You hung on every word he said since you loved knowing more about it all. Hearing both about your grandmother and Bucky made you smile. You then shared stories about spending those rare Christmases with your parents when they were home on leave. After an hour of talking you could feel yourself yawning more and more. “Sweetheart, I think it is time to go to bed now,” Steve smiled at you and you nodded. You rinsed the cups and put them in the dishwasher and together you walked to leave the kitchen. Steve put his arms around your shoulder and told you he would walk you to your room.

Then all the sudden Steve stopped and stared up at the roof. His eyes were fixed on something, so you followed his sight and saw it. The both of you stood under a mistletoe. This is it. Now he had to kiss you and you could show him your feelings through a kiss and then you could talk about it. Talk about you being ready for more and hopefully he still had feelings for you. You looked at Steve and finally he looked at you. He leaned closer and your breath caught in your throat and it felt as if your heart was going to beat out of your chest. He was going to kiss you and your eyes closed. Then you felt it. His lips against your check. The disappointment screamed in your body. Again. You felt fooled. You opened your eyes and Steve smiled at you before he turned around and walked away. “I can’t believe this,” you groan. “I am in love with an idiot.” The last part just jumped out of your mouth without you meaning it to happen. Steve turned around on the support and looked at you. “Wait, what did you say?” You wanted to blush and look away, but you made yourself look at him and meet his eyes. “I said I can’t believe this,” you smiled at Steve who took a step back towards you. “No, after that,” Steve whispers out. “I am in love with an idiot,” You take a step closer to him. “You love me?” Steve wonders and takes another step closer. You were standing under the mistletoe again. “Do you see any other idiots around here?” You tilt your head feeling a bit more confident. Steve looked around the empty rooms and shocked his head. “Well, then..” Was all you got to say before Steve pulled you close and kissed you. It was good that he held you close or else you had been on the floor. His lips on yours were soft but at the same time demanding. You could feel your legs feeling like spaghetti and you put your arms around Steve’s neck. This made him pull you even closer to his body. His rock hard body. It feels like home. Steve stopped the kiss and smiled down at you. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that.” He said. You smiled at him. “Probably about as long as I have wanted to do this.” He kissed you again before lowering his forehead to yours. “I love you, Y/N,” He said and it made your heart beat faster. “I love you too, Steve,” You kissed him again and this time he took hold of your tights and lifted you up so you could wrap your legs around him. Steve broke the kiss and just looked at you. “I don’t want to rush this,” He almost whispered. “Let me take you out on a date and treat you the way you deserve.” You let out a mixture of a groan and a laugh. Steve was a gentleman. “Steve, I want this. I want you. I want us,” You pressed a kiss to his lips again. “I want you to take me out on a date, but I also don’t want to wait until we can go on a date.” Steve pressed a hungry kiss to your lips again. “You need to get some sleep,” He said and started to carry you to your room. “At least, stay the night with me,” You smiled and he looked down on you. “It was my plan,” He answered and kissed you again. “I don’t want to be away from you any more than necessary and this way I can wake up tomorrow looking at the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You blushed and together you fell down on your bed. The team was in for quite the surprise the next morning.

Everything Taglist:

@buckysmischief

@allaboutthebooz

Nexus Series taglist:

@dee-vn

@soleil-dor

@readermia

@centerhabit

@mylifeiscrazy0423

@buckys-other-punk

@owhatshername-blog

@shower-me-with-roses

@taketimeandappreciate

@Winchester-wifey

@yn-dreamlife

@capstopavenger

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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years

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Time Stops

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Desc: This is for @ussgallifreyfics #gallifreys500 writing challenge. Not beta read. Prompt: “They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true.” - Big Fish Warnings: FLUFF

MASTERLIST

They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. You’ve seen it with friends that had met their soulmates the day they were ready to. They stopped aging. When you turned 18 you could find your soulmate and never age again. While that was beautiful, it also put a lot of pressure on you and a lot of pity on people growing old. Usually people would just feel who their soulmate is, but there also were soulmate marks. They weren’t big or anything to brag with, but yours was a little heart-shaped darker spot on the back of your right hand. Right between the thumb and the pointer finger connection. Definitely a space you massaged a lot when you got nervous.

Right now was one of those situations. You were waiting in line to get onto a plane to New York City. A trip you made once or twice a year to meet your friends. While you loved New York, you hated flying. The many alien attacks and whatnot of the last decade weren’t helping with your anxiety. The plane being delayed on top of that was even worse for your mind going in circles. A big man sat down next to you, putting down a duffle bag and getting out a book with the title, “Love, Simon.” Wasn’t that a book about a closeted teenage boy? Didn’t match up at all with the giant frame the man had, but you smiled to yourself. You scrolled through Instagram, created a new collection for cute cat pictures and went on about your anxiety soothing. When you were finally boarding, your anxiety went through the roof again. Thankfully you had downloaded a whole documentary for the flight, otherwise you’d go insane. When you were situated in the plane and had gotten out your headphones, the giant man found his seat, the one which just so happened to be next to you. It was about to get cozy, but you weren’t complaining. You’d rather have a giant man with a good taste in books next to you than a creep or a family with a newborn baby. After your heart almost jumped out of your chest while you took off you finally could relax and start watching your space documentary. Every now and then you felt him flip a page in his book very delicately. Your hand landed on the little table your phone was situated on to give him more space, which is when you started to feel the stare on you. Well, now it WAS a little creepy. He tapped your shoulder and you stopped the show and looked at him. Woah, wait, you knew that face. That was Bucky Barnes, wasn’t it? “Sorry for interrupting, I just...I saw you like space and, uh, could you tell me what documentary that is? It looks awesome.” he gave a shy smile before looking away, right hand going through his beard. Wait a damn second. “Huh?” he looked back at you confused. “I said that out loud.” you stated to yourself and closed your eyes. “Yes, you did.” Now he was grinning at you, eyeing your slightly flustered face. “Uh, your soulmate mark. Are you…?” your eyes went from his eyes to his hand. “What makes you think that?” “You didn’t really age but you also were in cryo a lot, so it’s quite difficult to tell.” you grinned. He smiled wide and looked down on his hand before shaking his head, “No, haven’t found them. I don’t think I ever will. 70 years is quite a lot-” He saw your right hand come into his field of vision and his eyes went wide and back up at you. You were amused at the weird situation you had just put each other into and you couldn’t deny that you liked how he turned into a soft dorky man. But maybe that was just him outside of the news. “So...uh...wow.” Another time that he went through his hair. “Yeah,” you looked up at him with shimmery eyes. You respected the man in front of you so much for what he went through and that he was still here. But that giant dork that looked illegally good was your soulmate? That must be a dream. “So...would you like to go on a date anytime soon? I’d love to get to know you.” he got a little confidence back and gave an unsure smile to you. “Of course, I know this really great brunch place in the Upper West Side.” you smiled a little giddy. “Spring Natural Kitchen?” he asks. “Spring Natural Kitchen.” you nodded chuckling. “Wanda told me about it. She loves testing new places whenever she’s not on call.” “Sounds like I’d get along great with her.” “So...why are you flying to New York? You live there?” he finally asks and you shake your head. “I live near Denver and come here sometimes to meet friends and have a good time for a week or two.” “Which city’s better?” he smirked. “I like both, but I have a job back in Denver that I love. I’m working in a very laid back modern restaurant, café kinda establishment.” you explained. “Well, if you’re my soulmate, you might as well open up a second one of those in New York City, cause that sounds great.” By now he was so deep in your flirting battle that he totally forgot that he just met you. “You just want that cinnamon cupcake goodness.” you laughed. “I’d never say no to any food, I think that gets very clear when you look at me.” he looked down on himself. “Hm, yeah, a little.” You grinned, “Hungry giant.” “Oh, we’re already starting pet names, huh?” his brows went up. The giggle escaping you widened his big smile. ___ *You ready to get picked up and judged by Sam Wilson?* *Why not by Wanda? Or literally anyone that’s not Sam?* *I ask myself that every single day, darling.* *I’m ready by the way...and ready to fight Wilson if I need to.* *Sure, darling.* you could practically feel him grinning at his phone screen. *And by that I mean, if he dares to, you’ll defend me anyway, cause you’re cute like that.* Not too long after the AirBnB’s doorbell rang and you ran to the door in your comfy outfit. It was a brunch date, not a fancy gala. When you opened the door you were met with his audacity to wear a leather jacket. “Aw, come on. Really? A leather jacket? Like you don’t know that it’s super hot?” you pouted and were pulled into a hug. “You look cute. Is that Totoro on your sweater?” he held you and looked down on you. “Old man knows Totoro, check.” you grinned. “Hey, I’ve been catching up for 4 years. There needs to be SOME stuff that sticks.” “Could the lovebirds that both can’t drive please move their asses a little faster?” you heard out of a car behind Bucky. “Could the angry bird please chill?” Bucky answered without even looking at him. “C’mon, let’s go and give the man a break.” you chuckled before taking his hand and dragging him towards the car. “So, tell me about yourself. Anything that I don’t already know from social media and our chats.” he grinned. “I stress bake, my favorite shows are all documentaries, I’d love to have a cat, I’m into astrology, I love to draw and paint, my music taste is a literal dumpster fire and I really like sneakers.” you counted a few that you found to be relevant to yourself. “I’m still learning to cook new foods. I actually have a cat, her name’s Alpine, she’s an absolute whirlwind but she’s the most loyal little thing ever.” he smiled. “What kinda cat is she?” you asked excited. “British Shorthair and white.” he beamed. “I already love her. I’d love to get a completely black cat.” you leaned onto your hands. “We could.” he squinted with a cheeky smile. “You’re already thinking about moving my ass to New York, aren’t you?” you chuckled. “You’re my soulmate, why not? It’s not like you’re a shot in the dark or anything like that.” That made you feel warm inside, very very warm. “Yeah, guess you’re right.” you looked at the table flustered. “So, assuming you would stay here…” he got your attention back and god were his eyes sure of you staying here, “...would you actually open up a cool place like this?” “I’d love to but...renting a place like this in New York City? Making it look nice and advertising it? That’s so hard.” “Hi, you’re sitting in front of the longest prisoner of war. If you think Sam didn’t sue the shit out of the military to get me paid for that, then you’re wrong.” he grinned accomplished. “Bucky, you can’t-” “I can, tell me what you’d want to do.” he smiled at you softly, grabbing your hand. After a few moments of grasping the moment you continued, “Well, similar to this place, but with cakes, pies and cookies. And with a completely different color scheme. Very bright, like white and some pastel colors. I’d try to find tons of recipe’s online and let you try them until I have like 12 good and special ones that work. I’d always have a jar of triple chocolate cookies and a chocolate bomb cake. Maybe even sweet ice cream in summer? I’d have chessboard tiled wall behind the counter and hang nice art work in the rest of the place. I’d probably have someone bring in dog cake every week so they also get some good food. I’d make milkshakes, have a barista working and would create some special hot chocolate mix. Maybe I’d do something themed after you. Like little cookies with the- wait, do you hate the red star on your old arm? I know it’s very much a connection to the Sowjets, but I don’t really look at it like that.” “I’m neutral about it. I write autographs on cards with red stars all the time.” he shrugged. “Then there will be red star cookies. Maybe something themed after your bird friend?” you grinned. “He needs to work for it.” he laughed. “I make a mad cinnamon banana milkshake. That would sell very well.” you mumbled before taking a sip from the drink in front of you. “Cookies with red chocolate melted into it...that’s a good one for Wanda, isn’t it?” you smiled shyly, trying to not misjudge his friends. “I love that idea. Maybe something egg based for Sam, you know, cause he’s a falcon. I’ll shut my mouth…” he grinned and watched you snort laugh. The waffles you ordered were set down in front of you and you continued talking about the interior of your dream place. “I don’t know if I’d do it in Manhattan or Brooklyn. I mean Brooklyn literally has cute food places as its elevator pitch.” “I guess it depends where you’d find a place.” “Yeah, forgot, we’re in the ultimate place of renting stuff.” you grumbled and heard him chuckle. ___ “Finally!” you jumped around in the empty space that was about to become your own little store. You’d been with Bucky for three months now and your old boss was more than happy to have a new venture. And you were more than happy to have gotten such a great soulmate. He even got his driver's license to drive you around and go on little trips with you when he wasn’t working. Brooklyn Heights, right next to the Brooklyn Bridge, with an apartment right above. “Let’s measure and buy a nice kitchen for you to bake cupcakes in, darling.” he grabbed you close. “You just wanna eat, honey.” you pouted. “Of course, I eat everything you make.” he planted a kiss onto your forehead. “Hm, okay, let’s measure and drive to Home Depot too.” you smiled content and got another kiss. “You know, I think I found you at the right time. I like how you look. Not a day too young or too old.” you mumbled. “I would have loved you at any age I could’ve found you.” he hummed. “Yeah, that’s because you’re a hopeless romantic.” you giggled. “Only for you, darling.” “Love you,” you mumbled before pressing your lips against his, “so much.” “Let’s get your dream kitchen,” he said while lightly slapping your ass. “Hey! Watch your hands, Barnes.” you playfully scolded him. “Yes, ma’am.” he rolled his eyes before picking you up and carrying you to the damn car himself.

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13thgenfilm · 4 years

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Team Building: On Wanda Bershen and Film Safety Nets

Written by 13th Gen’s Founder and CEO Marc Smolowitz, this article originally appeared in Filmmaker Magazine in March 2020.

On September 28th, 2019, Wanda Bershen died quietly, alone and under fairly tragic circumstances, after being rushed to the hospital from a rehabilitation facility on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She was 75 years old, and very few people were aware of her passing. This piece is one part obituary for Wanda—a remarkable woman who certainly deserves to be remembered lovingly in Filmmaker—and one part urgent call-to-action for our industry to have a long-overdue discussion about a difficult and troubling topic: the lack of safety nets, resiliency and end-of-life supports in place for aging independent film professionals.

The vast majority of you reading this did not know Wanda, but you may know someone like her—she could very well stand in as an everywoman whose story is far too common, one of those stalwart and passionate behind-the-scenes indie film culture workers who loved cinema and wore a compelling mix of hats: writer, curator, teacher, festival director, publicist, producer’s representative, film booker, television programmer and distributor. Her boutique company, Red Diaper Productions, made a huge yet hardly known impact on an incredible list of films and filmmakers around the world for more than 25 years. These efforts included focusing much of her attention and efforts on supporting women directors and organizing a powerful slate of word cinema touring packages, which introduced US audiences to contemporary cinema from Iceland, the Netherlands and various countries across Eastern Europe. Decidedly proud and fiercely independent, she did all of this entirely on her own as a freelancer, independent contractor and consultant. For most of her career, she managed to be reasonably vital even without the benefit of strong institutions backing her up.

There are countless people like Wanda who march through film careers, working hard without much recognition and likely without the means to plan—in any real or comprehensive way—for their long-term security and retirement. Wanda was also unmarried, without children or close family members nearby. Her community of closest friends and colleagues was a global one. While this is something to treasure when you’re well enough to travel to Rotterdam, Berlin and Karlovy Vary each year (the latter, in Czech Republic, was her favorite festival to attend), what happens when you stop traveling for work because it becomes impossible financially—not to mention physically dangerous? More important, what happens to someone older like Wanda when a new generation of leadership takes the industry reins without knowledge of her unique contributions? The sad, hard fact is that you kind of, well, disappear. This is exactly what happened to Wanda.

For many years, whenever I visited New York for business, Wanda and I would have dinner if our schedules aligned. I treasured our time together. Her wit and sense of humor were delightful, and her deep knowledge of film, especially international and genre cinemas, could put most film scholars to shame. But, in very recent years, our conversations became quite heartbreaking. She was struggling to find work that could sustain her financially. Her professional emails often went unanswered. When she tried to connect with others for networking opportunities at festivals and press screenings, she felt shunned and set aside largely because of her age and gender. The industry to which she had given her life’s work did not have space for her anymore.

Last August, I was planning a shoot in NYC, so I texted Wanda to reach out and get on her calendar. I got a message that her number was no longer valid and was immediately concerned. I sent her an email with no response. So, I did what made the most sense and went looking for her on Facebook. As I scrolled down her page, I realized there had been no posts from Wanda since March 13th. On March 20th, a post from her sister read, “Wanda Bershen was hospitalized Monday night at NYU Langone. If you are a friend of Wanda’s in NYC, please contact me…. Diagnosis is not yet determined. Wanda needs visitors and support as she goes through this. I live… too far away to be actively involved.”

It didn’t take long to uncover that she had experienced a devastating stroke and been bedridden without speech and the ability to move for the better part of five months. Her dearest friend in the city, also a film producer, had been valiantly trying to help, but if Wanda were to have any chance at survival, it would require that many more people get involved. Within days, I became part of a wonderful group of people from around the world—many of us filmmakers and film professionals who knew and adored Wanda for decades—who attempted (perhaps naively) to organize over email on Wanda’s behalf and advocate for her well-being and recovery. One of us referred to this small but mighty group as TEAM WANDA.

This sort of scenario is as dark and bleak as you might expect. In short, there were no immediate and apparent resources available to help someone in Wanda’s situation. When I managed to see Wanda in person several weeks later, it was clear very few visitors had been by. She lay in a hospital bed almost comatose yet her mind still seemed sharp, and she clearly understood the gravity and heartbreak of what was happening to her. I sat with her and kissed her forehead gently. I told her that there was a group of us around the world trying our best to help her. While I could sense her relief in hearing some encouraging news, I left her bedside that afternoon feeling helpless and hopeless. I urged the nurses on her floor to continue caring for her and to keep up her hygiene. My main concern at that point was her basic dignity. I knew in my heart that there was no way our committed worldwide cohort could move fast enough to change Wanda’s destiny. She died just 10 days later.

From my perspective, all of this is quite chilling, and the more I pondered what happened to Wanda, the more I wanted to kickstart a discussion among colleagues, so we can all work to make sure there are no more stories like this one. But, it’s not that simple. While we have a great deal of work to do on this topic as an industry, our nation seems unwilling to have an honest and forthright public conversation around the lack of meaningful policies that advance the cause of older Americans: retirement, long-term care and what it means to approach end-of-life with dignity. This is particularly concerning because we now live in a nation where people are both living and working much longer, yet we offer very little in the way of substantive help to our aging populations.

When one looks closely at specific industries, there are helpful models out there for safety net services and resilience (see roundup at right), but the independent film industry literally has nothing of our own, nor have we contemplated these discussions in any forum that I can find. By contrast, the Hollywood community, where there have always been more resources, has a great deal in place through its guilds and unions; for example, The Actors Fund of America. Even the visual arts have managed to develop funds to support artists affected by natural disasters (Craft Emergency Relief Fund, or CERF). And, of course, Visual AIDS was one of the most inspiring organizations that emerged during the worst years of the AIDS pandemic (see visualaids.org/history).

Not long after Wanda passed, I took to Facebook and posted about her story. While I certainly didn’t want to exploit Wanda’s passing, I also didn’t want her to have died without someone making a little bit of noise about the travesty of it all. What I encountered in the comments was revealing. Unsurprisingly, a great many people in our shared networks knew and adored Wanda, and there were just as many who were shocked to know she had even been so unwell. More important, there was a universal agreement when it came to one important point: We cannot let the tragedy of what happened to Wanda continue to happen to others like her who have helped build this business. To be sure, ours is a compassionate and beautifully collaborative industry with some of the most dynamic tentpole institutions around, many of which have been serving film professionals for some 50 years. We must turn to them now and insist on space for this mission-critical discussion. It will be an uneasy one to have, but we must do it for all of our own sakes.

_____

ROUNDUP OF SAFETY NET AND END OF LIFE RESOURCES:

National Coalition for Arts’ Preparedness and Emergency Response (NCAPER) ncaper.org/about

CERF+ The Artist’s Safety Net

cerfplus.org/stories-resources/how-to/

The Actors Fund

actorsfund.org/

Reimagine (End of Life)

letsreimagine.org/

Death With Dignity

deathwithdignity.org/learn/end-of-life-resources/

Speaking of Dying

speakingofdying.com/end-of-life-resources/

#film #filmmaker #film maker #film maker resources #aging #aging workforce #freelance #freelance issues #team wanda #Wanda Bershen #Marc Smolowitz #13th Gen #social safety net #film resources #film discussion

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thecorteztwins · 4 years

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what are some under used marvel female characters youd love to see in the rpc?

HMMMOkay, so I’m trying to think OBJECTIVELY here and not just rattle off the female characters that I personally like, and more “I’m surprised that there’s not more blogs for this character, whether or not I personally am a fan” ....because I missed the “you’d love to see in the RPC” bit because I’m dumb, and then I wrote this whole list without regards for that part. So this came out as less “female characters I personally want” (who would all be stupidly obscure and irrelevant anyway) and more “female characters I think the RPC should give some more love to, whether I personally am into them or not”:Definitely ALL the girls in the New Mutants and Generation X! I see a fair few blogs for Magik and Jubilee, but I really don’t see any for the others. I get why Magik is going to be more popular---she’s in more stuff, she’s currently much more relevant in the comics, and her backstory is so goddamn compelling---but that doesn’t mean the others shouldn’t have ANY blogs out there. Wolfsbane, Magma, Karma, and Moonstar are all extremely complex and compelling characters with their own struggles and triumphs too, and I think they deserve just as much love. Likewise, I get why Jubilee will naturally get more blogs than Husk, Monet, and Penance (depending if you count Penny as a separate character or not...) due to her being in more stuff, having bigger arcs, etc. But it still surprises there’s NO blogs around for those ladies! I know there was that Monet blog awhile ago, and @badmusesdoitwell had an Amara that’s now part of their multimuse, as well as a Rahne, but that’s still nowhere near enough love in the RPC for these Junior X-Ladies, in my opinion. Speaking of Generation X, I’m also a bit surprised no one has picked Cordelia Frost up, given that we’ve got plenty of background canon for her via Emma’s history yet Cordelia herself has LOTS of room to go nuts with headcanons, like it’s just the perfect opportunity! And I’m sure lots of Emma blogs, of which there are MANY, would love their little sister around for some family threads. Fuck, I would pick her up myself if I were more into Emma and the Frost family as a whole. She’s hardly the most relevant, recent, or even interesting character around, she’s done very little and shown up very briefly, but the fact she’s related to Emma Frost makes me think SOMEONE would have an interest in her.Madelyne Pryor, for sure. Like, I love Maddy, but it’s not just my favoritism talking here. I think she’s pretty decently well-known in the comics fandom, and she’s a tragic villain, which usually pulls people in big-time. She’s got a grudge against the good guys, and it’s actually more legitimate than most, which I’d think would also attract people, since a lot of villains fans like to blame the good guys no matter what and THEY’D ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT HERE? Plus she has very strong connections to other, more popular canons, with a ton of fodder for angst and drama threads, which people just LOVE. I have seen a few Maddy blogs pop up in the past, and I always get so excited, but they never seem to last very long :CDr. Moira MacTaggert deserves ALL the love and respect in the world/fandom! She’s been a staunch supporter of mutants since day one, she’s a total badass, she’s super smart, she calls Xavier out on his shit ALL THE TIME, she’s the survivor of an abusive husband, she had to make terrible choices about her son that no mother should ever have to and then live with the consequences of those choices, and SHE GOES AFTER A KELPIE WITH A GODDAMN MACHINE GUN! She’s been a part of the X-Men comics for such a long time, and is very significant in them, it really surprises me that I’ve never seen a blog for her besides just ONE and it was for the XMCU sexy American CIA agent Moira, who is NOT Moira in my book and NEVER WILL BE. Speaking of, Moira will ALWAYS be human to me, I think making her a mutant all along REALLY undermines a big part of her character as just an unyielding mutant ally. Though I think her being human, combined with being an older female who isn’t anyone’s love interest (unless she’s, gasp, getting in the way of CHERIK aka the ultimate fandom sin how dare she the harlot -.-), is probably WHY she’s so damn ignored -.-Frenzy hasn’t been in THE most recent stuff, but she’s still been relevant recent enough that I think one or two blogs around would have happened if she weren’t black. Yeah, I hate to be THIS person, but any black character who isn’t Storm doesn’t get love, for all that the RPC likes to yell about being diverse and progressive. Remember all the Captain America and Iron Man and Hulk and Quicksilver blogs that popped up after their movies? Yeah I saw like ONE T’challa blog after Black Panther came out. Then again, I’ve yet to see blogs for Pixie or Firestar either, who are white, and I feel like they both were fairly interesting and well-known in fandom? Same for the Academy X girls like Sofia Mantega, Mercury, and Wallflower. Luna Maximoff FOR SURE. It SHOCKS me I haven’t see more than a couple short-lived blogs around for her, just given her family connections. Now, I don’t think a character deserves love just because of who they’re related to---in fact it annoys me when a characters gets a ton of attention and it’s very obviously just for that---but Luna has SO MUCH going on? The problems between her parents, her mother being absent so much, her father exposing her to the Mists, dealing with her powers, being a child of two very different worlds and cultures, it just goes on and on. Luna has had to grow up so fast, she’s such a strange and stoic child as a result, and though her situation is very fantastical, having to be the mature one at an early age because all the adults in your life won’t be is something a lot of people have to cope with and I think would find relatable; I especially love how she lives in this world where there’s no bad guys, like neither Crystal nor Pietro were the villains in her situation, just hurting messed up people, which she also recognized in Magneto and maybe also even Maximus . And there’s so much that could be explored with her too that hasn’t been in canon yet---for instance, her choice to identify with her Inhuman heritage and why that is, and the journey of identifying with your heritage but also looking at the horrible things in their history, I think that’s a story that a LOT of people from MANY backgrounds can relate to. It surprises and frustrates me that both writers and fandom don’t really seem to care about her or remember she exists; one the only two blogs I ever saw for her seriously got someone asking them “why would you make such a weird OC” like SERIOUSLY! Luna needs more love, big time. Any female Avenger that’s not Wanda or Natasha. I don’t read Avengers, I’m just an X-Men fan, but I know they exist and they shouldn’t have to be in a movie to get love. Ditto for She-Hulk, I’m not a Hulk reader but I know she’s a prominent character who has been around a long time and has a very developed personality and stories of her own, yet I’ve only ever seen her on @getreadytosmash‘s multi. I’ve also never really read Alpha Flight, but its main ladies ---Snowbird, Aurora, Vindicator---all seem awesome in their own different ways. Alpha Flight isn’t very popular to begin with, of course, so I don’t expect them to have as many blogs as, say, major X-ladies, but I think one apiece or so would be very justified.KWANNON!! I actually get why we didn’t have any blogs for her BEFORE now, because we knew NOTHING about her, she was just a very tragic prop for Betsty’s body-swap plot and a way to give her insta-ninja-skills, but now she’s come back and has HER OWN NEW SERIES in which we’re finally learning who she is and her background, I hope to see a blog or two around for her eventually!Destiny aka Irene Adler. Like. Do I even need to explain WHY? I think people just don’t want to play an OLD woman, especially one whose primary/only ship is going to be with another woman.Maaaaybe Clea Strange? I don’t know shit about her, never read Dr. Strange, but like, people make blogs for Sigyn literally just because she’s Loki’s wife, and Clea at least seems to like...DO stuff? IDK, not sure on this on, but figured I’d make an honorable mention.Siryn, Boom Boom, and Dr. Cecilia Reyes are all X-Ladies that I really don’t know much about. Like I know basic things like their powers but I don’t know their story arcs and such. But as with Clea and the Avengers ladies and She-Hulk, I just have a HUNCH there’s a lot there getting ignored by fans.Silhouette Chord is a longtime member of The New Warriors, and, like Alpha Flight, New Warriors doesn’t really have a fanbase on Tumblr to speak of, so it’s not surprising to me she’s not got any love here. And even within the pages of her own comics, she’s generally pushed aside, underused, and underdeveloped compared to the other characters, generally more a prop for her boyfriend’s stories than anything else. But she DOES have a personality, a REALLY cool backstory, and she’s like...look, the RPC claims to love diversity and representation and all that, right? Silhouette is a mixed-race WOC (half Black, half Cambodian, and I have NEVER seen another Marvel character of Cambodian heritage who wasn’t connected to her) who is also very visibly physically disabled, her legs are completely paralyzed and she is never without her braces/crutches, yet she still fights PHYSICALLY (something very rare for physically disabled characters, they usually are more like Oracle or Prof X) and is depicted in a sexual relationship, and there’s never any kind of fuss or angst about it or anything treating her as delicate or less than or anything like that. She’s just completely adjusted to it in a way that’s very rare in media. And like I said, she’s not a flat character, I’m not saying she should be more popular just for ticking off the diversity boxes, she manages to be really intriguing to me despite how little focus the writers give her, and I think that she and the other New Warrior girls (Firestar and Namorita) have a lot to offer the RPC. But I have to give a special shoutout to Sil since she’s my fave, as the neglected ones alway are.Meggan Puceanu is probably most familiar to folks here as Kurt’s love interest in Age of X, but she’s been around since the 80s. She’s a longtime member of Excalibur, and she’s just...fascinating. She’s a Romanichal mutant (though often hinted to have magical/mystical heritage too, perhaps fairy like Pixie) who has empathic, elemental, and shapeshifting capabilities. However, her empathic and shapeshifting tend to overlap, so she changes her form (and her mind) according to the feelings, fears, and desires of others. So for instance, there’s this one time where a group of men are checking her out, and she feels that “They love me...I want...to love them in return!” and she morphs into this sexxed-up version of hersef on the spot. This isn’t played for kinkiness or laughs either; Meggan’s identity struggles are a HUGE part of her character. She has no idea who she is because her powers make her reflect and respond to the feelings of others around her, internally and externally. She doesn’t even know what she actually really LOOKS like because of this; her powers were present since birth, causing her to grow fur instantly as an infant due to it being winter. This caused her parents to keep her locked up in the camper trailer, where she was raised alone with the TV (she’s also illiterate, which causes her to feel dumb a lot) and as more and more people around her spread rumors about the monstrous child inside, she psychically absorbed those beliefs and her physical form changed to reflect them, making her more and more monstrous as she got older. She didn’t know she was a shapeshifter, she just really thought she was a hideous monster. And even when she found out the truth, she STILL didn’t know what she really looked like, as the beautiful form she took on (basically Pamela Anderson with elf ears) was to please her boyfriend Captain Britain (whom she is really unhealthily dependent on starting out because of her situation)Meggan is insecure, she doesn’t know who she is, she has to cling to a man in order to have anything because no one else has ever loved her, she easily becomes jealous of other women near him, she gets made fun of for being a bimbo and she often feels she is because she can’t read or understand “clever words” due to her isolated upbringing...and she gets through this! She develops! She becomes STRONGER and she becomes SECURE and she gains CONTROL of her powers and SHE KICKS ASS and she FORMS AN IDENTITY! And then Meggan SACRIFICED HER LIFE to buy time for Captain Britain, Psylocke, and Rachel Summers to repair the tear in reality caused by House of M. She ends up lost between dimensions and TRAPPED IN HELL, where she uses her empathy to rally the lesser demons against THE LORDS OF HELL ITSELF and wages a war IN HELL for which her demon followers dub her “Gloriana” and she forms a sanctuary there called “Elysium” where souls can escape torment! AND THEN SHE FINDS HER WAY HOME!THIS WOMAN KICKED ASS IN HELL AND WON!! Like she just goes through SUCH an arc, and I admit I have not read it myself yet, she’s on my list of characters to read EVERYTHING on and I’m still only familiar with her very insecure Excalibur days (which I love a lot, I just feel so much for Meggan and her struggles, I think she’s very much a reflection of a LOT of real-world issues, ranging from mental illnesses to just EXISTING as a woman) but I already have a ton of feelings about her and I think she’s more than prominent and accomplished enough to merit more attention in the RPC. And this is less of an “actually has reasons the RPC should love her” character, because really there’s no reason they should, she’s not prominent or relevant or or anything, but more an interesting “did you know”---did you know there was a “young female Wolverine clone” in the comics BEFORE Laura Kinney? Avery Connor! She pre-dates Laura by a year and has a VERY similar story, yet she never took off in popularity and very few people know her. You can read about her HERE on my Marvel blog. Again, would not say there’s actually any reason she’s earned love from the RPC like, say, Meggan or Luna, but I just thought I’d toss that in as a tidbit for the Logan family fans, as I know there are many.(Also, cheating because these are dudes, but: I’m not a Banshee fan but I am surprised I’ve never seen a blog for him, nor for Sunfire. Or for 616 Pyro. Or...)

#marvel #marvel rpc #xmen #x men #out of cortez #shattered-catalyst

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its-ok-to-smile · 6 years

Text

Some memorable scenes from Avengers: Infinity War

(and some of my thoughts)

{Spoilers beneath cut. Apologies to those on mobile, you’ll have to blindly scroll}

[Note: not a quotes will be verbatim]

The desperation in Loki’s voice in the distress call.

That whole opening scene, GOD DAMN!

We didn’t see them, but there’s a good chance, Valkerie, Korg, and Meek are dead as well

Like Thanos whole thing is that he kills half of wherever, so maybe he took a fraction of them prisoner, but STILL!

“We have a hulk”, reminds me of when the first Avengers came out, Chris said at some carpet interview he wished Loki was an Avenger

Some people were wondering why Heimdall sent Hulk to Earth, I personally thought it was that he was sent to warn them

HEIMDALL! LOKI!(I’m glad I got over my crush on him, I would’ve been ever more distraught than I already was)

Thor just clinging to his brother as the ship blows up, he’s lost everything, he’s broken.

‘‘You don’t believe in worldly possessions[...] Well maybe I can tell that to the Deli people and they’ll make you an ethereal sandwich.

Tony and Pepper talking about having kids! Also, matching jumpsuits!

Science bros hugging!

“Your embarrassing me in front of the wizards”

Hulk is scared!

“Cause a distraction” “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

“Ain’t you kids ever seen a spaceship before”

But it can’t be a good sign if they’re getting the Stan Lee cameo out of the way so soon

“Whats going on?” “This guy wants to steal a necklace from a wizard”

Russo Brothers: “Ok look, we’ve got enough character in this movie as is, so Wong, you’re done now”

“I can’t be a ‘Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man’ if there’s no neighborhood. That sounded better in my head”

“The kids seen more movies than me”

THE GUARDIANS!! (Seriously their introduction was awesome)

Pretty much all the Guardians agreeing that Quill has put on weight

“This is a wake-up call[...] Gonna get a couple dumbbells” “You can’t eat dumbbells Quill”

“Thanos desecrated Xandar” does that mean Irani and Rhomann are dead as well?

Apparently they didn't have raccoons on Asgard, but they did have rabbits, which looked enough like raccoons to be mixed up

“Swear on your mother” “Ok”

FINALLY GOT A PETER/GAMORA KISS!

“How long have you been there?” “An hour”

I think this was the first time we ever heard Drax refer to his daughter by name(He said his wife’s name in GOTG2)

“I told you to go left”

Peter loves Gamora so much, he’s willing to live without her because of his promise to her

‘Groot’ is an Asgardian elective

Love how the series messes with expectations, such as Dwarfs being the closer to the size of Frost Giants

Groot stepping up to the plate and making the handle

Steve having a total Batman moment with that train

Alot of people pointed put that he ditched the star on his chest and the ‘A’ on his shoulder, but i don’t think anyone mentioned that he never wore his helmet either

Not gonna lie, when I saw promo art for Natasha, my first thought was ‘TRAITOR!’ (I have red hair)

“Arrest them” “Yes Sir” *hangs up”

So that’s why Clint and Scott weren’t in any of the promos

‘‘There’s an Ant-man and a Spider-man?”

“WHY IS GAMORA!!

“Is Footloose still the greatest movie ever?” “It never was” >:O

I know it’s horrifying, but that was a really cool perspective shot they did with Nebula

Thanos knew that torturing Gamora wouldn’t make her tell him where the stone is

Thanos: “I’ll just leave this woman, that I literally turned into a killing machine, in a room with just one guard”

I was actually nervous that the cloaked figure was Death, and they had decided to make her a man, but then RED SKULL!!

After so many movies, I thought they decided not to do anything with that cliffhanger.. but NOPE

PLEASE don’t let that be a permanent death, Quill has lost enough already, and obviously Gamora deserves so much better

“We can’t just wing it” “That’s kind of our whole thing”

“Tell them how you saved the galaxy with a dance-off”

“I was thinking the Olympics, or a Starbucks”

Rhodey trolling Bruce on Wakandan customs

[...]“And a war veteran whose 100 years old”

Steve and Bucky hugging!

“Why didn’t you just reprogram the synapses to work connectivity?” (pause) “Because we didn’t think of it..”(plus Vision’s expression when Shuri says it)

The look Okoye gives Bruce when he trips

Jabaris war cry(and they keep doing it throughout the battle)

The respect from M’Baku to T’Challa, considering how they used to be

“This is the end of Wakanda” “Then a glorious end it shall be” “WAKANDA FOREVER”

“Why was she up there the whole time?”

Okoye+Natasha team up!

Then Wanda joins in! (my gay heart couldn’t handle it)

“That was gross”

*Thor shows up* “Oh now you’re screwed”

“I am Groot” *Places hand on chest* “I. am. Steve Rogers”

Bucky just picking up Rocket and doing a spinning machine gun attack

“I am so getting that arm”

“Yeah you look a Thanos”

I remember after the credits started, I heard the guy next to me say, “All that could have been avoided if Quill hadn’t punched Thanos’’ But that is Quill’s character, he’s always been emotion-driven, it was because of his emotions that he saved the day in both of his movies(Illogically grabbing the stone, using his ‘heart’)

“I’ve got you! And you! I’m sorry I don’t remember your names!”

“If you throw another moon at me I’m gonna kick your ass”

+++++((Now the sad stuff))+++++

Wanda having to kill the love of her life, just for it to be pointless

“Steve?”

Wanda didn’t even seem to care when she died

When T’Challa went to help up Okoye, I was expecting her to ‘dust’, but then he did, the look of pure horror/confusion on her face

Rhodey searching for Sam(also just how they were constantly looking out for each other in the battle)

I see alot of people saying how sad it was Tony watching his adopted son die(and while I agree) I feel like they’re looking over the other adopted son dying scene: Rocket and Groot

The way Groot says his line almost like question but also with a hint of fear to it(As with every movie, props to Vin Diesel, for being able to portray so many emotions with one line) And Rocket just quietly going "No, oh, no-no-no”

Steve just saying ‘Dear God’’, anyone else think he was starting to pray

What’s going to happen when Rocket finds out he’s the only one left

“There was no other way” anyone else suspect that was Dr. Strange admitting that there was never a future where they won.

Peter sounding so scared when he knew what was coming, the way he was just clinging to Tony, hoping he could fix it.

That scene with Thanos sitting on the hill reminded me of that quote from someone’s dream-Obama: “To become God is the loneliest achievement there is’’

Maria and Fury still working together

Dust-censoring

The after credits/Captain Marvel teaser was cool, but I will admit I was a little disappointed, cause I was expecting/hoping it would be Coulson

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

All the original Avengers are still alive(Hawkeye is unknown)

Everyone thought Steve and/or Tony would die, possibly Tony would die saving Peter, how wrong we were...

I suspect everyone who dusted will come back, due to several of them having sequels planned.

I also think Gamora will come back(though that’s more of a hope), like maybe they’ll use some excuse where, only she can be revived, cause she’s the only one whose body is intact.(Heimdall and Loki blew up, the stones may be destroyed, so Vision might not come back)

Where is Shuri? Last we saw her was when Vision was attacked, I feel they would have shown if she dusted. They’re obviously not going to get everyone back right away, so that leaves her as the next ruler of Wakanda

I assume all the movies planned to come out before the next part will be set before this, but I wonder how the TV shows will work around it. They can’t all go on a X amount of years hiatus (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was setting up Thanos’ arrival, so they certainly can’t pretend their a couple years behind)

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #the avengers #avengers infinity war #avengers infinity war spoilers #thanos demands your silence #guardians of the galaxy #doctor strange #captain america #iron man #spiderman #thor #thanos #smile speaks

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 6 years

Text

avengers: infinity war

um. SPOILERS.

so i finally watched spiderman: infinity war avengers: infinity war yesterday with the inimitably awesome aakanksha ( @franklyineedcoffee). it was great! very cgi and very Epic.

like. mcu movies were never terribly remarkable to me, but then they got Spiderman involved (and made him great!) and the ensuing trifecta of extremely enjoyable films (homecoming, ragnarok and black panther) finally made a fangirl out of me. which basically primed me perfectly to enjoy the shit out of infinity war.

a few thoughts! a second reminder for SPOILERS because i discuss about basically everything.

1. the film did a great job juggling so many characters and so many plot threads? of course some parts were under-served (the whole wakanda stretch was a bit meh to me), but at no point was i just waiting for the film to get back to the Interesting Bit. almost all of it was equally engaging.

2. i’d heard a lot about thanos going into this film but what i wasn’t expecting was to be reminded of two villains that the mcu had done really, really well recently: adrian toomes/the vulture from homecoming, and erik killmonger from black panther. thanos isn’t nearly as compelling as either of them and certainly doesn’t deserve a fraction of the sympathy we can reasonably afford to either toomes/killmonger, but the kind of sad, single-minded conviction that he used to justify murdering trillions of people? yeah, that was all-too-familiar. far from the cackling, evil villain trope, both toomes and killmonger were shaped and scarred by unforgiving circumstances; you didn’t approve of the stuff they did but their pathos was palpable. thanos plays this part of the villain arc very well--he doesn’t visibly delight in death and destruction, but does it because he is burdened with it. and isn’t that how it usually goes in the real world? the worst people in the world never believe in their own evil--just their own status as a Special Person Who Knows Something Better Than Everyone Else. a special destiny, a special responsibility with all that power. sometimes the line between superhero and villain is so, so thin.

2.5. because looking at it objectively, his motivation was some malthusian bullshit, yeah? and in a way recalls some of the most harrowing repercussions of bullshit science from the early twentieth century. so if i read one more thinkpiece about ‘errrrr guys maybe thanos had a point’ i’m going to lose it. both the writing and performance for thanos was fantastic--he practically dripped with gravitas, even under all the layers of cgi and chaotic fight scenes--but let’s not confuse that with actual sense/decency, yeah?

3. the groupings were great--so great that i could’ve readily watched an entire film based on any one of them. my favourite had to be thor with rocket/groot. i would’ve never guessed it, but it turned out to be the most poignant dynamic of them all. that little conversation that rocket had with thor was a little oasis in the middle of a terribly chaotic movie and neatly tied in and mirrored the incredible character development both the characters had undergone in their last movies--GotG vol 2 and ragnarok. this scene for me was an example of the ultimate reward of getting a film like infinity war--a moment of truly resonant emotional connection between two wildly differing characters and genres.

3.5. and, btw, the genres! can we talk about that a bit? it was a really cool mix of generic superhero stuff with sci-fi, a touch of horror, magic, swords-and-sorcery, opposites-meet comedy, a bit of romance, and just good old-fashioned family drama.

3.75. and speaking of drama, the whole arc with gamora was gutting and inspired more tears from me than the much-talked-about snap. the sheer range of emotions she went through right before and after she realised that thanos was going to kill her and why! zoe saldana is fucking amazing.

4. aagh i just wished we had more time but all of the groups played really well off each other: i enjoyed iron man and company in particular because duh, spiderman, and watching three gigantic egos clash in the form of tony stark, dr strange, and peter quill was entertaining as all hell. and i know tumblr fandom in particular likes to give tony a hard time but i was impressed not just by his quick thinking, his surely-impossible technology, and his raw physical strength, but also his ability to lead, well, any team. he had spiderman covered (summoning the iron spider suit! appointing him an avenger! collaborative flying of an alien spaceship!), had dr strange figured out pretty quickly, and tried his best to steady peter quill.

4.5. the group on wakanda wasn’t nearly as compelling, but much of their screen time was filled with fighting cannon fodder and that’s literally the least interesting part of any mcu movie, so. i guess i was also annoyed by rhodey basically throwing away the principled position he took in civil war--the narrative had to essentially make the regulatory body a one-dimensional super-villain. and, like. whatever. the avengers have to reform, etc. but it still stinks. i kind of dozed through the parts of civil war that didn’t involve spiderman but some of the issues that it raised were compelling. but then those issues were just used as an excuse to get a slugfest between iron man and captain america and now somehow an agreement signed by 150+ countries is all about oh no! will steve and tony ever make up?? like, fuck that shit.

4.85. i didn’t expect to be as moved as i was by vision and wanda, though. unlike the nat/bruce thing that also kind of came out of the blue in ultron, these two were weirdly compelling. (although wanda’s missing accent is bothering me.)

5. there was so much cgi in this movie! some of it was truly breathtaking but more often than not it felt suffocating. i feel like tony stark and co. were especially ill-served: the deep blues of the doughnut spaceship and the flashy, dusty oranges on titan just made it more difficult to see the characters and, idk. i’m not a fan of the effect.

5.5. everything involving thor was great, tho. couldn’t possibly match the climactic bridge scene in ragnarok in terms of pure Epicness but came close several times.

6. mmm, what else? i really liked that this film undercut a lot of the truly dramatic scenes with humour--it just lent a dreadful sense of finality to the scenes that left us with death rather than a punchline.

6.5. another note: i realise that thor continually calling rocket and groot ‘rabbit and tree’ was supposed to be funny, but why would he do that? the ‘captain’ has a name. and he speaks groot’s language! why would he call him something as reductive as ‘tree’? (unless groot’s actual name is tree) it’s just a little niggling thing but it’s starting to bother me a lot now.

6.55. but i do find it a little endearing that prideful, extremely sensitive rocket never once bothered to correct thor.

7. ultimately the Epicness that made this movie possible is also one of the things that repeatedly threatens to bring it down. i just don’t want this film to fall down the rabbit hole that SPN finds itself in--expand its scope exponentially and find itself unable to remotely do it the justice that it deserves. what do you do with a character who could kill half the universe with a snap of his fingers? what do you do with characters who, in their individual movies, have expressed powers and resources that are seriously large-scale?

we see the film sputter in this respect a couple of times: i never understood why thanos didn’t just use the reality stone to, say, turn tony’s tech into cheesecake or something. out of respect at the man’s sheer tenacity? idk. and loki going out by trying to stab thanos was weird to me. was he deliberately sacrificing himself? is there something else going on? doesn’t he have much better weapons in his arsenal? at least he was aiming for the head

and the consequences of the final snap where more than half of the heroes disintegrated in front of their friends’ eyes should’ve felt more devastating, but the neatness of the old avengers being spared so that they could save (avenge if you will) their next generation in a final hurrah in the next movie seemed way too obvious. that’s not to say it wasn’t impactful. watching peter parker disintegrate in tony’s arms, fighting till the very last minute to stay he was so scared oh god he just wanted to stay and for mr stark to make it all right was gutting, no matter how much i’d prepared myself for it. i may have whimpered.

8. i’m sure i have a lot more to say but it’s getting late and i’m tired, so. another post in the near future maybe.

but before i go, how could i not talk about spiderman?? i screamed my throat raw at the first sight of peter parker, and although he doesn’t actually get all that much screen time he made every second count. the awe-inspiring appearance of the iron spider. “have you ever seen that old movie, aliens?” the sheer range of emotions that passed his face when tony stark officially made him an avenger. flying spaceships along with tony. fun with magic portals! almost getting the gauntlet off because he is Just That Strong. saving mantis and drax. and clinging to life till the very last second even as the edges of his body were starting to wisp away. this boy. god. how mcu hit the perfect formula to represent my all-time favourite superhero on screen is a mystery, but i’m so so glad it happened.

#mcu #avengers #infinity war #infinity war spoilers #spoilers #meta #thanos

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