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dampsleeves · 5 months

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life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

#spiidervent #not snz #venting :3 #feel free to ignore this if you dont wanna hear me bitch and moan

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inkskinned · 2 years

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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

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honeypleasejustkillme · 2 years

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suicidal people deserve a space to talk about their suicidal feelings without risking hospitalization/institutionalization or being accused of being manipulative or attention seeking

#world mental health day 2022 :)#remember you all are loved and appreciated :)#everyone with mental health issues are valid and deserve support so if you ever need it don’t hesitate to reach out <3 #actually bpd #bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd problems #actually borderline #bpd fp #bpd shitposting #bpd mood #bpd vent #bpd favorite person #tw sui mention #passive suicide #tw sui thoughts #tw sui vent

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slavhew · 1 month

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artblock busters

#homestuck #hom3stuck #davesprite #karkat vantas #dave strider #dirk strider #davekat #admin draws #fanart #a mix of 3 drawing sessions here folks #karkat is so prefect as a vessel for vent art. shocking i know #when in doubt its either mspaint or a chunky smooth brush and scribble scribble scribble

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catmanbowser · 3 months

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his biggest fan is in fact his own little brother

#tim drake #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #dc #catman's art #im on the roof and i needed to do a vent drawing where i adore my own brother but i also wish im close to him like before #im jealous of them. i really am.#i hate where i am right now. i wish i can talk like a normal person instead of being intimidated by him.#anyways its cold tonight and the wind’s lovely <3

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thoughtsofapessimistttt · 2 months

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I’m so big on the phrase ‘just say that’ because honestly that’s all you have to do, just say it.

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hexedvampire · 5 months

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90% of human interactions make me wanna kill myself

#text post :3 #vent :3

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dying-marshmallo · 7 months

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☆/🪼 ; Water Under the Fridge [Explanation below cut]

☆ This is mostly about rejection sensitivity, the inability to apologize/say what you're thinking and so on, when you know you're in the wrong, and you make one of the people you care about upset. And it feels so much bigger than it is.

#🖍 my art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rise leo #disaster twins #unpause rise of the tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise season 3 #vent #🪼 leon beatboxing #🍡 system tag

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avatarkasia-art · 7 months

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First sketch from BG3 when I couldn't play the game instead and it's Baby K of course

#baldur's gate 3 #d&d #fanart #karlach #barbarian #tiefling #fiery babe #art #sketch #im not here for pretty art im here to vent creatively #wait until i have more time and my wrist doesnt hurt from tension and i get my hands on Gale

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cimicherrychanga · 2 months

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play the game youll never win

#my art #tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt leo #leonardo hamato #blood cw #BEFORE ANYONE GETS WORRIED. i made this last night when i was unwell for reasons completely unrelated to the reasons ive been unwell today #its not edgy vent art its regular edgy art thank you <3

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adustoflove · 3 months

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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too #haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days #irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really #I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection #like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person #then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually

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hai-nae · 2 months

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