#ugly crying over them. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red9 · 1 year

Note

do you think there’s something wrong with me ?

@devilsbaptist

There was warmth that came with his closeness, that tender touch, skin on skin as the Baptist lay beside him. So rare to ever see him so vulnerable, how many nights it took to get him to this point. A man who was raised on violence, whose hands could do nothing but destroy, learning to love, how to be so gentle. Now here they were, a night of soft sighs and tangled bodies, lost beneath the sheets without need for bloodshed or leaving his mark. Outside the cool night breeze drifted in through the open balcony doors, the sounds of Hope County dancing on the wind while the music of the bliss lingered like a faint tune in the back of his mind. Home- this felt like home. There was no place else he’d rather be than with him at his side.

Fingers combed through his dark locks, gaze on the ceiling fan that spun slowly overhead. His breathing was soft, even, almost expecting him to fall asleep right there on top of him, head on his chest. But there was something in him, something that got under his skin that set all this in motion. Knowing earlier that day he had met with his brother, and came home different- something he wouldn’t speak on, but he knew well how said encounters would often go. He’d heard the voicemails, knew well his struggle within. A constant battle with himself, wanting to be good enough for the eldest, while also fighting to earn his way into Eden’s Gate. A tightrope he was forced to walk, being pushed to the edge with a knife at his back and told not to fall to temptation. Cracks in his façade, like leaks in a dam, pressure building until even he was prone to break.

Something he’d never expected, the question taking him off guard. A genuine thought, from a voice so small, so soft, it almost didn’t seem like John at all. More like an inner child coming forth, that voice in his head- the picture of a younger version of him, bruised and battered, asking what he was doing wrong. The very sound was enough to leave his chest aching, like a knife in his heart, twisting around as he felt himself choke on the air. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

He knew the way others saw him. Where many often idolized him, there were more that often feared him. It was no secret the things he did within his bunker, the messes he made of corpses that littered the archways and streets. Bodies, filled with flowers, and those who lived disfigured from carving flesh from bone in attempt of freeing them of sin. He himself was not immune from this, having met firsthand the end of his blade, the tip of his needle, John being sure to leave his mark on the one he found most precious. He was a force to be scared of- his own brother letting those words pass through his lips. That people followed him because they feared what he’d do otherwise. But he knew the truth, down inside, that he was loved, and that Joseph was wrong.

“I don't think the worlds been kind to you, but I don’t think there’s something wrong with you, my love.” The words fell careful, calculated as he thought it over, fingers playing through his hair, running in long strokes down his spine as his brow furrowed at the sky. “Your brother doesn’t know you as well as he thinks he does. Your brother doesn’t know all of what you’ve been through either- you know this.” Sure, word of mouth was one thing, but never would Joseph grasp the pain that the younger brother endured, how could he? The man had left him behind, and only returned to 'save' him when it seemed convenient to his plan. “He has no right to judge you, tell you what is right and wrong. I see nothing wrong with you-”

He’d pause then, taking a moment to sit himself up against their headboard, give himself chance to look down at the other, trace fingers over the scars that marred his back, the tattoos that ran the length of his arms as he spoke. “I see you, the real you, the John I love is nothing short of perfection. Right and wrong is all a matter of perspective, and what your brother sees in you is wrong… He doesn’t know you like I do.” John Seed- the real man behind the mask. One capable of love- all he needed was a hand to offer it. “Don’t listen to him mi amor, you’re perfect to me- does anything else matter?”

#devilsbaptist #ask.#v: far cry.#ugly crying over them.

2 notes · View notes

skipblebee · 6 months

Text

HELLO PETRIGROF NATION 🤩🤩 Fionna and Cake finale destroyed me and made me very sad so I couldn't draw anything except silly doodles to cope pls enjoy

#adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #fionna and cake #fionna and cake fanart #adventure time fanart #the quote from the second doodle is from a Steven universe fanart I saw back when they revealed rose quartz was actually pink diamond shsjd #Most of these are from ms paint :)#Skipsart #Will never get over this ending actually #Like three of my classmates who have never even heard of adventure time love these two now just because I can't shut up about them #ME WHEN TRAGIC LOVERS 😢😢😢 UAUAUA <- (sounds of despair)#Really wanted to see a human Golbetty design :(#Also low-key wished they pulled a La La Land and showed us the life they could've had/an alternate dimension where they're happy together #I get that they wanted us to feel like the characters and stuff but still HHHHH #Anywayz it took me two months to get over this #I couldn't listen to Everything in You without ugly crying LMBOOO #I'm a sensitive guy okay 😔 I'm fine now so we're good‼️💪

187 notes · View notes

notthesaint · 4 months

Note

Hiii, I wanted to draw a Winged Nosk dragon for a while. Figured the Winged Nosk person's birthday would be a perfect opportunity to do so.

Happy birthday! Hope you have a great one <3

Oh lird.. I just opened tumblr and I suddenly gotten attacked by a weird lookin creecher. HELLO?! HUH, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I AM SO FLABBERGASTED BY THIS ARTWORK 😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH 🧡🧡🧡

YO YO YO HOLY SHIT. I'm such a SUckER for creepy freaky creecher designs. I AM LOSINV MY MIND OVER THIS ONE

#i am definitely going to stare at this for decades and AGES #LOOK AT THIS UGLY FREAK OF A BEAST (AFFECTIONATE)#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AAAAA #HWKAJDKDJ *WAILING* I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW WINGED..#nosket's big ol wings...YUM and THE RAPTOR ASS STANCE HOLY HELL THAT IS NOT A BEAST THAT IS A WHOLE CREATURE OH MY GOSH #*screams in joy*#THIS IS INCREDIBLY DETAILED AND THIS IS SO WELL DRAWN THAT I AM DEF GOING TO BE CRYING TO DAYS #definitely one of the best winged nosk fanarts i ever laid my eyes on/srs #I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS AUGSHHDHDJDHD #THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH #FAVE #INSPO #WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I AM SCREAMING #LOOK LOOK #gekko you have no idea i am going so feral about this i am running into circles and fangirling under my blankets over this #HECK YOU DRAW THEM SO WELL AND I LOVE THE CREATIVITY OF THIS #not my art #ask #HDKDJSJDNJDJDND AAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAA #winged nosk #hollow knight

72 notes · View notes

seagull-scribbles · 6 months

Text

If I don’t survive the night,

If I make it to the morning-

#tmnt 2003 #casey jones #raphael splinterson #does this count as 03 when it is technically the reboot #TMNT turtles forever #rasey #don’t get me wrong this can be platonic but I’m mentally Ill so I’m tagging the ship regardless #me and my friend watched this like 7 months ago but urgh the bit where raph goes back shouting for Casey and Leo has to grab his shoulder #to lead him out of harms way……urgh #couldn’t stop thinking about it and really wanted to draw them hugging #have done a rasey gift for my friend and almost did 03 hugging but I didn’t something else so #had to get this out my system regardless #shoutout to ray Leo and Rena for letting me pester you while I did this #one one month left of 2023….unreal….#i just think when raph gets casey back audience be damned hell give him the biggest tightest hug he can #theyre just peas in a pod in this version just so completely in sync and inseperable #i cant cope im ugly crying over this #i wish i was good with words

109 notes · View notes

bisexualbailorgana · 7 months

Text

thinking about how stede has always been seen as like the Peak of non-toxic masculinity in the show and has always been the one to encourage the crew to open up and express themselves and yet. he still can’t accept himself as he is. he’s still striving towards this hyper masculine version of himself that he thinks he should be because he’s had it drilled into him from a young age that being soft caring and loving fine things is wrong. im literally going to throw up rn

#also the fact that so much of it comes from his love for his crew and and ed and his desire to protect them :((#listen if i was more articulate i could write a whole essay on this #ugly crying over stede bonnet rn #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

87 notes · View notes

dollypopup · 3 hours

Text

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Arguably, though Colin has the support of his family, I would say that he has less genuine connections than Penelope did, because whilst Penelope had Eloise. . .Colin really only had Penelope. His family loves him, but his family doesn't really try to understand him. Penelope was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

#polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!?#they just care about each other so much and so deeply #and they see the best in each other #penelope was hurt but she never HATED him #penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't #he isn't cruel #he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her #but he has a history of uplifting her #and he continues to do so #not one bad word about penelope all this season #'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing)#colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought #it was only professed in one language #'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?'#'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up)#'i will always look after you penelope'#they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship #a deep beautiful love they have with each other #and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them

22 notes · View notes

a-strange-inkling · 1 year

Text

We fight here in her name,

She will not die in vain,

She will not be betrayed.

#when you fall in love like marius and cossette #but you die like enjolras and eponine 😭😭😭#ugly crying #like fam no they literally died like them #chrissy died first like eponine and eddie died last like enjolras #in response to a very valid tag in my other les mis edit #always enjolras NEVER marius #amen #just the breathless delight lyric fit them too well #it is always enjolras and eponine over marius and cossette #also joe was enjolras so i had to #hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #eddissy #munningham #chrissy x eddie #hellcheer edit

255 notes · View notes

savethedots · 4 months

Text

… irgendwann vielleicht

[was wir fürchten, zdfneo, 2023]

#was wir fürchten #my stuff #was wir fürchten spoiler #spoilers #simon schneider #leon müller #tw horror #tw homophobia #as a general warning for the show #i saw an edit that made me ugly cry for half an hour #so i needed to create a gif set of them being happy #and there isn’t much #even this meeting has dark clouds hovering over them #but imma live in a world where they got their ‘irgendwann’#what should have been #they deserved so much better #and i’m still destroyed

24 notes · View notes

mymarifae · 2 years

Text

ok

#...#project sekai #the thing about akito and toya's heart to heart in vbs's main story is like. it is SO...emotional and sweet and like.#oh my god they mean the world to each other. do not separate them ever again.#and then you remember that an and kohane and ken are in the back watching like 😶👍#when akito says ' don't go overthinking it. you wanna be with me and i wanna be with you' (ugly crying over this btw)#and an interjects herself with 'so are you guys gonna order or what' like. JANFSBDMNFSNMFSMKFDKFLFMGLDGFHNFGMLF

324 notes · View notes

gunsatthaphan · 2 years

Photo

the entertainer // the entertainee

#gmmtv #gmmtv safe house #safe house ss4 #firstkhao #first kanaphan #Khaotung Thanawat #look at them i will never stop crying over them #goodbye #sorry these are ugly but you know the drill lmao #bye

257 notes · View notes

everymadara · 11 months

Text

Chapter 622

#naruto #madara #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #hashirama flashback #+ hashirama #[FBI looking through my laptop voice] why the fuck have you been looking at this and crying for the past 3 hours #Also fun fact: I used to not really like the language of ''revealing your guts'' I felt it was just very ugly and un-poetic phrasing #But I've come to appreciate it in the sense that it conveys a pretty thorough idea of vulnerability that reveals a lot of how Madara #perceives it.#His phrasing of revealing vulnerability is incredibly visual; people quite literally opening themselves up for him to see. Related is how #his greatest discomfort is people standing behind him. You know. where he can't see them.#Also most Uchiha characters having common motif threads related to their eyes.#In Madara's case they're tied specifically to how he'd like to have full awareness and understanding of what's around him; and by extension #he'd like to have a measure of influence over them.#Something standing where he can't see it though he knows it's there is the most vulnerable position he can imagine himself in.#In multiple different ways! In this particular panel it's mostly related to trust and emotional vulnerability.#Which is a very fun character trait to have when you grow up in the conceiling yourself and backstabbing profession #And you are also very fatalistic and under the impression that people just can't change #you WOULD think the only solution would be if everyone could just magically rip themselves open

46 notes · View notes

waroferas · 3 months

Text

tp link’s childhood makes me so emo to think about tbqh

#baby link :(#i very much imagine rusl/uli being his adoptive parents btw so that plays a huge factor #just rusl and uli’s little link running around town with ilia . eating bugs and practicing whistles #he would get himself stuck in trees and his papa would have to come fish him out #link was trying Really Hard to be a polite thing when he saw how ugly newborn baby colin was #but he also wouldn’t stop crying over him for like . weeks #i just think . i just think 😭#learned to sew from them also btw #like . mama look what papa and i made ^.^ <- holding the most ragged little cloth doll you’ll ever see #tp #frogtxts

12 notes · View notes

grntaire · 5 days

Text

just finished queen charlotte. when i tell you i don’t think i have ugly cried like that since i watched doomsday for the first time i’m being so for real

#when he’s all my mind is half in the heavens and half on earth and she’s like then i will be with you on either side. bitch i melted #me? ugly crying to a show abt lifelong mental health shadowing over them has convinced them that they’re unlovable?#you betcha #thoughts

5 notes · View notes

pennyserenade · 6 months

Text

if im embarrassed to tell my friend group abt david duchovny i can't imagine what the girls who went through a situationship with him felt

#misc.#i still tell them but they've seen me at my worst #crying over ugly nerds at the dining hall #that was rock bottom baby i have so little shame now

7 notes · View notes

noxtivagus · 1 year

Text