#ugh. so exhausting

[gramophoneturtle]

Blog Update

So for those that don't know, I primarily post my art on Tumblr first. It's been my art archive for so long that it gets priority, and I have a bigger base here, and the archive system is nice. However, it's been brought to my attention that they may start doing AI nonsense so I'm going to focus on making sure I have back up archive on pillowfort account (gramophoneturtle) so if I need to stop posting on Tumblr, I don't have to start from scratch.

When Twitter went downhill with it's AI policies I removed all my art there. However, because of how Tumblr works, I will probably keep my art here. Since once it's reblogged, and maybe once they have the unprotected works in their databases, they already have access to it.

I don't remember if pillowfort still needs registration keys but I have a some I can hand out if people need them.

I picked pillowfort because they only other sites I looked at were mastodon & bluesky (both are not really long blog post sites for comics, for example) and cohost (which...didn't sound reassuring at the time. Never looked into what posting options they had). If there are other alternatives, let me know.

I'm hoping the Tumblr user base can fight back on this idea out but, it might be like Tumblr Live where it gets pushed out and only after a year or an overwhelming amount of backlash and loss do they remove it.

#update #blog update #text #mastodon #tumblr #social media #bluesky #pillowfort #twitter #this sucks so much i like how tumblr archives stuff #the information talks about these talks happening in 2023 which wasn't a great year for tumblr #and 2024 is supposed to be the better Tumblr Spirit focused year #it has been a huge reason why there's been a slowdown of art. it's just exhausting #like honestly it's partially why i've focused more on vtuber things and sammi programming #i still WANT to draw but if people are just going to enable art theft like this... #i enjoy sharing my art with people. and i will continue to draw for myself and i guess for stream #ugh. so exhausting

[answer2jeff]

SHARING SPACE — Carmen Berzatto.

synopsis: just a blurb, how you ended up moving in with Carmen :)

warnings: established relationship, reader is implied female (but little use of specific pronouns), fluffy headcanons, some smutty implications, some smutty implications but still fluff, mentions of alcohol and smoking, blurb is set once they're rebranding The Beef into The Bear.

i need more Carmen fluff this man is my whole life. btw this is super short but i'm sooooo burnt out :'(

It started with you "accidentally" falling asleep in his bed from the night before, panicking and hurrying to put your clothes in the morning before he had to rush to work. You weren't technically dating, but you were too close for comfort to be considered something as shallow as "friends with benefits." It was more than that.

But then things seemed to slow down. It turned into spending an extra ten minutes enveloped in each others arms. You shared, "good mornings" between sickly sweet kisses, his hands feeling up and down your torso while your fingers entangled in his hair. Carmen whispered about how much he didn't want to leave—as much as both of you knew he had to.

"You're gonna be late, Carmy." You'd groan, cupping his clean-shaven face and planting small kisses on his cheeks. Carmen let out a sigh of disappointment, realizing his short moment of bliss would be over the second he thought about leaving.

"I'm gonna clean up, 'kay?" He'd mumble, kissing your sweet lips one last time. His pupils dilated at the sight of you in his sheets, something he wish he didn't have to cherish from how little free time he seemed to have.

"Mhm."

Once he'd hop in the shower, you'd get yourself dressed before pouring him a warm cup of coffee, occasionally placing any dirty dishes stranded in the kitchen in the sink as an act of courtesy. You'd check the time, 7:00am,

As much as it pained you to leave without a proper goodbye, you worried that Carmen needed space- that he didn't have time to pepper kisses along your cheeks before he left.

"Bye Carmy!" You'd call out, but not quite loud enough for him to hear from the bathroom.

He wished you would've stayed just a little longer.

Eventually, you caught on. At one point, you swore you saw Carmen popping his head back into his bedroom to see if you were still there as you were already halfway out the door. From that point on, you started leaving little notes next to his coffee, littered with "I'm so proud of you," and sweet comments like, "break a leg Bear," and sometimes even an "I'll see you soon."

Then it turned into spending all weekend, every weekend, in his apartment—even though you'd been stopping by the restaurant between closing hours, and spending a good hour or two with him every other day of the week.

It just wasn't enough.

You started bringing a share-sized blanket and bottles of your favorite drinks whenever you came over, which was practically 4-5 times a week by that point.That blanket ended up rotating between your apartment and his, until it finally resided on the couch.

Wrapping himself in that blanket whenever you weren't around, reminded him that there was something else to think about; that there was someone else who needed him just as much as he did them.

You started leaving little things like your hoop earrings on the kitchen counter, or your puffer jacket on his coatrack, wondering if they'd still be there by next weekend; wondering if Carmen would ever have the heart to give them back to you. (Spoiler alert, he kept everything you ever "forgot"' in the exact same spot. Having a piece of you in his home at all times seemed to make up for your absence during the week, even if it just made him miss you more.)

Then you started packing extra clothes with you that you'd stuff into an empty drawer in Carmen's dresser. You brought your travel-sized, makeup bag with you, which you just ended up leaving in his bathroom. Along with your meds, and your skin care, and practically everything else you couldn't live without.

...

"You should just move in at this point." Carmen let out a breathy laugh as he watched you do your makeup, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Not even 20 minutes ago, he saw you pick out an entire outfit from the spare clothes you brought, not even realizing that you left a pair of black shoes that went with everything, right in his shoe rack.

"I practically live here now," you paused to put on some mascara, your mouth gaping open as you tried to concentrate, "but my lease is up on the 23rd." You joked, twisting the cap on your mascara back on and tossing it into your makeup bag.

"I mean—would you want to? Live here? With—with me?" He physically turned to look at you, your reflection not giving him enough clarity. He needed to see you, whether you said yes or no. You felt your stomach turn, and the question seemed unreal.

"I— yeah, I guess. Only if you want me to, but that'd be pretty... cool." You turned your head to face him, gazing into his desperate eyes. He needed to be able to call this apartment "ours," not just "his."

This apartment felt more like a home than you than anywhere else you resided in Chicago. You made your commute to work from this apartment, you ate and showered and slept in this apartment, bits and pieces of you were tossed all around this apartment, you brought home every new piece of clothing and jewelry back to this apartment.

Carmen literally made you keep a spare key in your wallet, advising you to come over whenever you needed something—even if he wasn't home. He trusted you with his space,

He took it upon himself to buy you a toothbrush, the shampoo and conditioner you raved about after he complimented your hair, and extra pads/tampons/menstrual cups (since he wasn't sure what you used,) just for when his bathroom would be occupied by you. He cleaned out the hidden cabinet behind the mirror above the sink, making sure you had a place for all of your things. He moved all of his cologne, deodorant, lotion, etc in the cabinet underneath it.

All he ever wanted was to make sure you felt safe.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #ugh this blurb is so cute #this took way too long to post idk why #i'm so exhausted i just needed to write something to quench my thirst #jfc guys #i need to sleep #uni is kicking my ass #the bear #i need him biblically

[snarkspawn]

a little sketch for the kinnporsche anniversary event week 1: favourite main character

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #porsche pachara #kinnporsche fanart #apo nattawin #bl tag #kpappreciation #userpharawee #ugh I was going to do something a little more elaborate for the Beginnings prompt #but I'm exhausted and I'm not sure I have the energy to finish it #I know I have a week so idk maybe later. fingers crossed #anyway my battle with apo's face continues. HOW DOES IT WORK #he's too beautiful I literally can't figure it out it's like looking directly into the sun

[fishyartist]

Ui idea tests, thrown together bc im eepy. Was planning on doing more but I spent all my days energy on the second one oops

#Danny phantom #I need to draw more or I’ll die <- guy who’s meds exhaust them #writing is so hard how do u not make everyone sound like you through a bad filter #Ik that’s unavoidable in some ways (like how art style will always look like u did it+not someone else) #but ugh. I’ll figure it out eventually takes practice+learning+all that #was planning on writing today but then I though ‘huh it might b fun to make some fake ‘’screenshot’’ concepts #also the portal basement has a more complex design but again #eepy #I think the gimmicky MySpace-inspired boxes r fun but idk how well I could keep that theme going w/ some characters #I also never used MySpace so that’s maybe just a kill issue #*skill lol #the command prompt one would basically just be for the portal #I keep saying that this project isn’t feasible buy my hyperfixated ass keeps trying anyways

[shima-draws]

AAAAAAAAAA WAIT WAIT if you finished wci then i gotta know how you felt during judge and luffy's final conversation when he starts listing all of the qualities he thinks are sanji's worst and then luffy waves him off w/o responding and is like 'wow why did he say all those nice things abt you?' and sanji's so bashful abt it

UGLY SOBS GODDDDD I cannot believe he actually said that 😭 I love that what traits Judge sees as “failures” Luffy sees as complete successes surrounding Sanji’s character. And he was so adorably oblivious too Judge was just shouting at them and Luffy was like “Okay yeah and he’s super pretty and he has nice abs and a cute butt, what’re you so mad about?” LMAO

#I imagine in his exhausted state Luffy just keeps running his mouth and saying increasingly embarrassing things #that make Sanji VERY flustered lmao #Luffy: His swirly eyebrows are cute and his hair is soft and his dick is— #Sanji: OKAY AHAHA. AHA. You can stop now :)))) #Luffy was so clueless it was so CUTEEEE UGH #Luffy: All that stuff about you is the best stuff about you! Besides your butt which he didn’t mention!! #Sanji: That’s actually very sweet I’m flattered—STOP. BRINGING MY ASS INTO THIS CONVERSATION #Luffy: Sanji has nice legs too :D #Nami: Did I miss something. I think I missed something. Did you two get up to something? #Sanji: N-no— #Luffy: Yes :)))) #Sanji: LUFFY PLEASE 😭😭😭 #Okay I’m done I’m sorry LMAO that was just such a cute scene #Needed to be silly for a bit ;) #One Piece #Sanlu #Lusan #Sanji #Luffy #Shima answers questions #cheswirls

[feverflushed]

Whumpee is woken up by the feeling of choking and pulling at their throat, and they feel the urge to cough.

A gentle hand squeezes theirs, and a soft voice whispers from their bedside.

"It's okay darling, surgery went well. You'll probably feel a bit hot for a while, you spiked a bit of a fever there..."

Whumpee looks around, confused. The gentle voice continues.

"Do you know where you are? We had to take you to emergency surgery, but you'll be okay."

Whumpee immediately realizes, and their surgical pain, exhaustion, fever and loneliness catches up to them. They start hyperventilating, and sobbing. They just can't stop the tears.

"It's okay dear, you'll be okay, try to breathe regularly." The gentle nurse squeezes their hand again.

"We're taking you back to your room now, so you can sleep off the anesthetic, alright? You did so well."

#so ya girl got emergency abdominal surgery lasr night #and this is what happened word for word #so i thought #i must write a post for whumpblr right NOW #sicknario #fevers #caretaking #exhaustion #tw hospital #injury #surgery #anesthesia #also intubation gives you the most disgusting cough ugh

[inkspottie]

INCUBATE

Had some vampire feelings, so decided to draw my vampire boyo

#spottie draws #Harrison #monstermash #vampire #work has me so exhausted that I can barely be creative #ugh

[sentientsky]

“Day after tomorrow,” Phoebe Bridgers

save me phoebe bridgers save me

#this is the quickest and least polished edit I’ve ever done. like 2 mins. I’m so sorry aksjskskdk #I forgot to take the capitalization off the letters ugh sorry #I’m supposed to be downstairs mingling w family. I am hiding let me hide #this holiday is so fuckinf stressful and exhausting and uncomfortable goddddd #I’m so tired oh god #someone come kidnap me. I’ll buy us snacks or something for the road #anyway #good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #aziraphale #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #go2 #David tennant #good omens angst #goodomensedit #gomens #gomens 2 #cw: religious trauma

[skepsys]

playing update 2.0 got me thinking about v's goofy ass again... i missed him so much 🥺

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #male v #v tag #ough ugh urgh (suffering poison damage playing thru the story again) #ican make a netrunner who is soooooo exhausted and so full of problems #ive actually changed a lot with him over the last year now that i think about it. he has a twin sister now? so much art to make...

[lil-katz]

hi.

#me #hi #face #selfie #ugh #life is rough lately #ughhhhhhhh #dang #sup #im very exhausted mentally and physically #i’m so ready to go back to wv for a week on friday i just wanna see my friends and family bro #:/

[cochineal-leviat]

Notebook Doodles - Kieran edition

This Wednesday was surprisingly calm as I took minimal notes for Online Marketing. We took a surprise test about statistics and number crunching, followed by a discussion about ads and ad blockers.

Hence, the doodle of Kieran cursing while holding his new phone. I imagine that as someone with limited access to the internet until he got his phone in the post-DLC game, he never experienced how annoying and overstimulating ads can be when you get that shit constantly. And Hydrapple, being the curious wyrms, is looking over his shoulder.

He's a bit OOC here. I wonder if Kieran would curse. I imagine he would do it once in a blue moon since he usually uses non-curse words to express his surprise and pain. The person who would be the most shocked would be Carmine if he were to swear in front of her, which is probably why Kieran hides it from her, as she can react quite strongly.

The Applin in the bottom right is how Applins look when they start out. Or is this an Applin who recently lost their apple? Poor guy. It looks cute, though, slithering about.

Tried sketching Kieran tying his hair back, but the anatomy was not working out. I couldn't exactly pull up a reference in the middle of class (*^^;), so it will just stay like that

And I added a tiny little Flore! There was no space to draw them fully, but that didn't stop me! I love these two a lot <3

#pokemon #my art #pokémon #sketch #notebook #notes #kieran #rival kieran #pokemon kieran #trainer kieran #applin #hydrapple #Flore (OC/MC Scavio) #as tiny as they are #sketching in pen is fun #man I am exhausted! #This week was not difficult but man there's so much I have to do for the final assignments #ugh #pokeball #pen doodles #doodles

[mikodaiyo]

Back to BUSINESS. wip

#Sesskag wip #I’ve been done with this for a minute but I was too tired from work and refreshing myself on other interests #now that I finally had a decent rest and can see straight it’s all good!! ALL GOOD !!! #work was DUMB and LONG ugh. it’s almost spring :D!!! that means good weather and work being more exhausting bc everybody wanna be outside #also y’all I met a new guy lol the last one sucked I like this new guy so much. matter fact I’m seeing a man now the last one was #just some dude yknow lol I gave 5 months of my time to just some dude just to get broken up with before vday🤡🤡 #but now I’m back to baseline! just in time

[adrift-in-thyme]

Note to self: never again let it slip to an irl person that I write whump

#told two of my classmates today #I’m exhausted so it just kinda slipped out #plus I assumed they’d be at least a little ok about it #given that they’re into fandom stuff #but no #they definitely thought I was some kind of freak #and I wasn’t about to try and defend myself #‘writing this stuff is a kind of therapy for me I promise I’m not sadistic or creepy!’ #yeah that would’ve gone over wonderfully #*sighs* #figures that one of the only personal things I shared this whole semester gets this reaction #why do I even try #I never talk about myself #I let everyone else vent and tell me everything #and when I try to open up I screw myself #trin rambles #vent #ignore me I’ll be fine #it’s just a really yucky day today #I’m not in a great place mentally and that did nothing good for me #hopefully sleep will help #…if I manage to get any sleep that is #ugh #delete later

[cinthia-rubi]

[Esp]

Estos chicos <3

[Eng]

These guys <3

#I feel so bad for not drawing my man Yoshioka #but I can't get these two out of my mind #since I was finally able to watch the movie and decided to finish the manga #I also feel bad for not rendering this but I'm SO exhausted #ugh when is this misery going to end #anyway #slam dunk #mito yohei #sakuragi hanamichi #yohana #my art #slam dunk yohei #slam dunk hanamichi

[my-tatteredwingsof-freedom]

God the amount of tiktok/twitter people who severely misunderstand Azula as a character is so exhausting. Did we even watch the same show?

Azula was a victim of abuse just as much as Zuko but in an entirely different way. Ozai pit Azula and Zuko against each other because he realized he could do something with Azula that he couldn't with Zuko; he could mold her into the next version of himself. Azula one hundred percent was most like Ozai even when she was young. Zuko, on the other hand, held all the traits Ozai, and the Fire Nation as a whole, believed were weak; he was compassionate and curious, he believed in being fair and just, and he never saw sense in pointless death which we saw in the flashback of how he got his scar.

Azula, however, was young and already feeling like she was being separated as "different" by their mother; Ursa was not a perfect parent by any means. And Ozai gave Azula the praise and affection that he refused to give Zuko. Ozai celebrated her while Ursa shied away from her. Can you imagine being a little kid and knowing that your own mother viewed you as an outsider, a monster?

Like, i dunno, but parents favoring one over the other and pitting them against each other in everything at such young ages definitely feels abusive to me. Mentally and emotionally. And besides, we KNOW that the Fire Nation's teachings and histories were manipulative; their own historical texts they taught in SCHOOLS were WRONG. It isn't hard to figure that Ozai's parenting, even if he valued his daughter more, would be just as twisted and wrong. What would he have done if Azula had turned on him? If she had spoken out against him or did exactly what Zuko did in the war council? Ozai wouldn't have hesitated to hurt her to prove a point. He already did it to one kid. If Azula stopped being useful to him, stopped trying to please him and be the best at everything, there would be no way Ozai would have kept treating her like she was his pride and joy.

Azula was a victim of abuse and was groomed to become Ozai's successor. The amount of pressure that puts on a kid, especially one who from a young age already felt like a monster in the eyes of a parent that was supposed to love them, is one hundred percent abusive. Azula was the perfect child and it cost her everything. No, she wasn't a perfect person nor a good one. But she was a victim to not just Ozai, but the Fire Nation's corruption as a whole. She loved her brother. That was confirmed by the creators a long time ago; Azula loved Zuko more than anything but she also loved being better than him, than everyone, because that was what gained her their father's favor. It gave her the sense of satisfaction and the security of a parents love.

To see her be reduced to nothing but an insane and heartless killer is so exhausting. What's that quote? "My father is the worst man alive and I am his favorite daughter"?.

Azula was fourteen. She wasn't a good person by far but no child is born evil. But evil is a hundred percent taught.

#skylar screeches #ugh sorry i never make posts here but its so exhausting #azula is such a complex character and Ive been an Azula stand for years #hate to see a great character so badly misunderstood #i don't want discourse btw i don't engage with fandom drama usually #atla #azula #avatar the last airbender

[mamawasatesttube]

i keep thinking there are people on here i would love to like. add on discord and actually talk to more. but then i think to myself well i should wait until i can get my meds so im actually feeling better and more up to being social. but at this point that's not happening for another few weeks at the least so uugghghghghhh.

#this is also slightly compounded by this being a sideblog like jskdjs i sure hope people know das me #but. ugh. yeah #debating if id want to make a server in which to lowkey hang out in a group setting or something. #or if i should just keep sitting here with sad wet pathetic beast eyes yearning for the days when i had the energy to talk to people more #like part of me wants to be like so mutuals if we've talked ever and you don't mind me being exhausted and often late to respond...! #bc i DO want to talk to friends and interact and be social. however the horrors (chronic illness) persist #SIGHS. anyway that's what's going on here re me being slow to answer messages and things on occasion + not always participating in stuff #probably tbd? just complaining at this point im a tired little man