#tw eedee descussion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vxm1tcxre · 2 months

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Me when those ED’ed people lecture me about how “unhealthy” I am because I eat junk food sometimes,,,

be so for real, we’re all actively shortening our life expectancy by like 20 years by doing this shit. In the long term, you’re not gonna end up much better than someone who eats 5 value meals from McDonald’s every day.

It’s all disordered and the fact that you have 500 c4ls of strawberries and rice cakes every day doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Get off your high horse and stop deluding yourself into thinking you’re the Regina George of 3ds.

Plus I pvrge, abuse medication, and sm0ke almost every day lmao. I promise, my 290 c4l lil treat from Dairy Queen to keep me sane is not what’s gonna wreck my health.

Anyway! this is your reminder that if someone didn’t ask for it, take your nutrition “advice” and/or m34nsp0 and shove it up your dainty self-righteous anus. Xoxo I’ll be praying on your downfall and laughing when the honeymoon phase is over and your wrecked metabolism bites you in the ass /hj

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lunisway · 12 days

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I am actively having a nervous breakdown because nothing works and I'm constantly just running after everything and trying to put out fires lol.

On another note 'm a fat bitch and have been eating too much these past two days (1200-1500 kcal) and I hate my life. Didn't even track shit lol. Be back on track tomorrow, but lots of love to you all out there who are crushing it!

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vxm1tcxre · 3 months

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My toxic trait is that every time I see a m34lsp0 pic on Pinterest that has a comment saying “not a meal 🥺🥺🥺” or “I hope you get better plz fuel your body uwu” I make double sure to save it to my board and aspire to make my meals more like it

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vxm1tcxre · 3 months

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Hot take but liquid c4ls > solid food

Sugary coffee drinks and hot chocolate are the only good parts of being alive imo

#@n@ thoughts #anna rex #m14blr #trans ana #tw eedee descussion #💡as a 🪶#st4rv1ng #trans ed #ana meal #3d c4ls #mia cals #4n4 cals #eating discord #d1s0rd3r3d 34t1ng #food problems #im fat and disgusting #anna rexya #actually bul1m1c #bullemya

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vxm1tcxre · 3 months

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This is your friendly reminder that starting pvrging is never worth it

You might think it will help you restrict/be in control, but it won’t. There’s a good chance you’ll just end up developing bul1m14 like I did, and you can pretty much kiss any sense of control over food goodbye.

Beyond that you’ll feel like utter shit all the time. You could get tonsil stones (if you don’t know what that is, look it up, but be warned they’re pretty gross), constantly have cuts, sores, and rippage inside your mouth and on your tongue, you’ll bloat like crazy anytime you eat anything, you’ll get awful gas, your lips will chap so bad they bleed, you have a good chance of getting acne on the skin around your lips, and so much more. It also increases the likelihood that you’ll develop esophageal cancer and gastrointestinal disorders.

I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you with full honesty from my firsthand experience- it is not worth it.

#@n@ thoughts #anna rex #m14 rant #4n4 rant #tw eedee descussion #trans ana #m14blr #bullemya #pro bullemia #actually bul1m1c #pvrging #b1ng3 purg3 #b1ng3 #st4rv1ng #💡as a 🪶#im fat and disgusting #i want to lose weight #eedee descussion #tw eedee

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vxm1tcxre · 21 days

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“Guys don’t like f4t girls 🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰🧸🧸🧸🧸🎀🎀🎀🎀👹👹👹👹🥀🥀🥀🥀 st4rv3 2 be dainty and feminine and petite so he’ll love you!!!!”

My reaction (I am aggressively ace+arospec, a whole ass trans man, and actively fantasizing about looking like a repulsive skeleton):

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vxm1tcxre · 9 days

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Lemme take a moment to deromanticize 3ds, if you don’t mind.

I have severe bul1m14. for years now, I have been trying to quit bping, only to get progressively worse as time has gone on- to the point where I get lucky if I make it through a single day without binging and pvrging once. On bad days, I will do so up to 5 times. Hell, I even have ever-so-slight bruising on my knees from spending so much time kneeling in front of bags and toilets, among countless other symptoms and places where my 3d has left it’s ugly mark.

Today was my birthday party. A celebration of my life. I had friends over. We visited a fun place in my city. They gave me gifts and we played games.

And did I get to enjoy it? Did I get to have fun with my friends and appreciate spending time with the people I love? Was it a good day? Will I remember it as such?

Of course not.

Like clockwork, I b1ng3d on the pizza and cupcakes my mom bought for me and my friends. I have consumed approximately 4800+ c4lories in a single day.

I have spent the last three hours after my friends went home locked in my room, trying to pvrge, but since I have abused my body so much, my gag reflex barely works. All I managed was to cough and choke up thick, viscous mucus and tiny chunks of pizza crust.

I am so full I can’t move without excruciating pain. I swear I can feel my bloated stomach pressing against my ribs, pushing them out. It feels like I’m about to explode. I want nothing more than to v0m1t- not only because I fear the weight gain, barely at this point. But because I am in such excruciating, unbearable pain and I just want this alien invader of carbs and sugar out of my damn body.

I have shoved an extension cord, the eraser end of a pencil, and the dirty toothbrush with bite marks on the handle from exclusively using it as my tool to pvrge because my fingers no longer suffice as far as they can possibly go down my throat to try and get some relief. Nothing.

I swallowed 3 heaping spoonfuls of baking soda and chugged seltzer water to try and give myself sodium poisoning.

I swallowed about 8 of my adhd pills and whatever antidepressants I had left, hoping they’d make me sick and push the food out of my stomach.

Nothing has worked. I am sitting in my bathroom, because I can’t lie down without acid flooding my esophagus, and praying that my stomach doesn’t burst open from the sheer volume of food I’ve shoved inside myself, begging the universe to not let me die.

I don’t want to die curled on the bathroom floor around my horrendously distended stomach, next to the scale I’m terrified to have to step on tomorrow morning. I don’t want my heartbroken parents to look through my things after I’m gone and find the bags of cold, rotten v0m1t hidden around my room.

Today was my fucking birthday party.

And instead of looking back fondly at this day, looking forward for things to come, I’m crying on my bathroom floor because I’m so fucking f4t and in so much pain I wish I could just sl1c3 my stomach open to remove a single ounce of the pressure against my insides.

But I can’t.

It will never stop.

I will never be able to enjoy days like these.

#skinandbonesfightback #skin&🩻#m14blr #anna rex #trans ana #tw eedee descussion #bullemya #im fat and disgusting #💡as a 🪶#actually bul1m1c #m34n$p0 #th11n$p0 #skin&bones #skinand🩻fightback #sk1n&🩻#skin&🦴fightback #trans ed #bully mia #th1np0

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vxm1tcxre · 3 months

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I got t’d again but I’m back I guess. I was v0mcoree or something along those lines I don’t remember my exact user

Tbh I’m kinda over tumblr,,,

#ana tricks #anna rex #anna bllog #trans ana #male ed #eedee tumblr #tw eedee descussion #th1nspø #m14blr #@n@ fast #@n@ diet #@n@ thoughts #3d cals #3dblrr #@n@blrr

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vxm1tcxre · 11 days

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CAN THIS FUCKING BITCH GET OUT OF YHE FUCKING BATHROOM I NEED TO PVRGE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHATS TAKING SO DAMN LONG OH MY GOD GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT ALREADY I CAN FEEL IT DIGESTING EHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THERE

#skin&🩻fightback #skin&🩻#skin&🦴fightback #m14blr #trans ana #bully mia #tw eedee descussion #@n@ thoughts #bullemya #im fat and disgusting #skin&🦴#💡as a 🪶#🩻#actually bul1m1c #trans ed #anna rex

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vxm1tcxre · 2 months

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Not much compared to what other people do but I’ve been liquid f4sting for 23 hours and plan on going longer. 34 hrs at least if not more.

I consumed a little under 200 c4ls from coffee, monster, and protein hot chocolate but have burned all of that and then some, so I’m in the negatives, and hoping to get some more steps in before bed :)

I’ve been so off track for so long with constant b1ng1ng and pvrg1ng that this feels like a huge step.

(Even tho I’m at a higher w31ght than I’ve been for a while, but I prefer not to think about that)

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vxm1tcxre · 3 months

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Upping your intake to like triple the amount that feels comfortable to try and quit b/p <<< everything else on the fucking planet

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lunisway · 15 days

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04/14/24

The day started out by me going to work for a few hours. I had one slice of pizza there and that was too much! I loooove pizza though. I gotta figure out how to get around that!

Later in the day I wanted to have a taco, but T ate most of the stuff for it so I could basically only have half. I was still hungry after and had some spinach salad. It was a lil sad and I should've used more ranch, but calories scare me.

Around midnight I had a flavor powder joghurt and the strawberry tastes amazing!

Throughout the day I nibbled on some turkey breast bites and had an egg bite. I can't seem to get full these days. I ate way too much. I used to only eat dinner and be fine, but nowadays I just can't help myself. If anyone has any idea how to stop that, please let me know!

I also did a GWJ workout for an hour and a bit and burned like 700 kcal! (Well according to my fitbit at least. Still don´t know if I trust this thing completely). And the scale seemed to reflect that too today. I want to try to work out again today and get my 10.000 steps in everyday.

The deficit is really getting to me atm. I feel sad and depressed and nauseous and I like I could cry all the time. Working out just makes it worse. I hate it. Maybe I need to eat my bmr for one day... oh well. Also my brain feels like it's lagging. Maybe I will lose another 10 lbs this month tho. That would be amazeballs. Be in the 170s by my birthday? Hell yeah!

I´m sorry if this sounds super depressive. I´m in a funk rn. Maybe working out will make it better.

#weight goals #weight loss #weight management #diary #i need to lose so much weight #update #i need to lose this weight #i wanna lose weight #relationship #eedee tumblr #tw ed descussion #tw ed sheeran #tw eating issues #tw #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ana bløg #tw a4a #anor3c1a

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lunisway · 14 days

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04/15 &16/24

Jesus, I´m tired. I have never felt this fucking tired in my life before. Like ever. I feel mildly drunk and am just waiting to get another 2k steps in before I hope on over into bed. But I guess that's what 2 days of 2 hours of sleep and food deprivations will do to you. At least I'm losing so whatever. I just want to sleep.

Yesterday I've made a pasta salad. I have been craving pasta for a ~while~ so yeah found this, made it. It was okay. No more craving pasta, but it needed a wee bit more sweetness. I'm a sucker for sweet stuff.

Later that night, around midnight I got super hungry, so I had some yogurt with my flavor powder and a small bread roll with a slice of ham on each side. I think I had one more slice of ham I shared with my cat, but my memory is hazy.

I wish starving myself would at least make me feel good, but the side effects suck. Like c'mon body, I'm trying to fucking work with you.

Also burned another 600 kcal doing GWJ according to my fitbit. I'm pretty sure the workouts don't get sent from fitbit to mfp tho. If anyone knows more about this please let me know!!

Today's intake is roughly the same as yesterday without the yogurt. I don't think it'll eat it. Just got to sleep. Was uber hungry this morning so I binged on another bread roll.

No workout today, but 10k steps.

My cat has been pretty cuddly today so that's nice. Aaaand we're visiting family back home in June, just booked our trip!

Sidenote: I ate too much. I literally had a salad bowl and I should not have so much food a diet to actually feel full. Seeing T's fam is going to just kick my butt so much more!

I have 7 more weeks, if I lose about 2,5 lbs per week that should average out to 17,5 lbs and put me in the 170s! That would be a 40 lbs difference to when they saw me last. Here we fucking go *itches!

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lunisway · 16 days

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04/13/24

It was a good day, until it wasn't, lol.

So this looks fine on the first glance, right? I walked 6 miles + too, so technically not bad. BUT At night time T got drunk and I got soo crabby. I think the starvation is getting to me slowly but surely and I binged on some taco meat. I'd guess I was around like 1000-1200 kcal, but I just couldn't give a flying fuck! I was tired and annoyed and T kept trying to cuddle and I was just so annoyed. He didn't do anything tho! So yeah binged on the taco mixture and then brought T to bed.

The rest of the day I had some greek yogurt with my flavor powder as a sweet treat (cause cravings!) for less than 100 kcal! That is amazing. I am saving so many kcal!!

For dinner we decided to grill again and I had one Doener skewer and a chicken leg and half of a corn on the cob. It was delicious!

I had the snacks throughout the day and yes the cookie was so unnecessary, however, I do think you should treat yourself every now and again to keep losing.

Today I weighed just as much as yesterday (to my surprise) so I won't take it too hard for now. Just hoping I can get another 3 lbs this week. We'll see. I should workout more!

#weight goals #weight loss #weight management #update #diary #i need to lose this weight #i need to lose so much weight #i wanna lose weight #relationship #eedee tumblr #tw #tw ed descussion #tw ed sheeran #tw eating issues #tw ed but not sheeran #anor3c1a

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lunisway · 18 days

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04/11/24 & 04/12/24

Yesterday was a good day! No snacking at work and I got some new salad items I am hyped about! My new protein is only half as many kcal as the old one and I got some new salad sauces to try out! Additionally, I also got croutons to mix thing up with the taco strips! I am beyond excited!

It is getting easier and easier to eat little kcal and feel okay with it, but it does make me feel a little slower than usually.

For dinner I had some leftover lasagna soup and it was delicious! I can only recommend everyone to try it! Soups in general are an easy way to have a balance between indulgence and abnegation.

I did hit my 10.000 steps again, which made me feel good.

When I came home, T and baby C greeted me with some Smirnoff Ice and we had a little too much to drink. By a little I mean a lot! We started drinking around 8 and found ourselves in aa bar in our tiny town around 2 am. Don´t ask me how, I do not remember. It was a blast though, we met some amazing new people.

Once we got home I was too drunk and had some more lasagna soup, but it had gotten moldy, so I ended up throwing it up (and thus didn´t count it). It was uber gross!

Oh and yes, I allow myself to get drunk once a week or every two weeks and I don´t count the kcal. I usually end um weighing less the next day! This was the case today! I am finally under 200 lbs, which for 2 weeks of weight loss is decent, I think. My next goal is in the 180s by my birthday in june!

Normally, I end up not really eating after drinking the night before. My stomach seems to be sensitive after that much alcohol (I did end up having like 10 bottles and some shots when we were out). This was the case again today.

T requested I make some gruyere-egg-bites he saw online and they ended up being pretty dang good!

Other than that I made some burritos and the stats for them are decent imo.

All in all it was a good day. Could I squeeze in another workout today? Sure! But I have an interview tomorrow and wouldn't like to be sore for that, as well as walking a puppy for 2 hours, so idk. Maybe I'll just walk around in the apartment for a bit to get to my 10.000 steps!

Recently, I am starting to crave pure salt so much. It's totally weird! On another note, I ordered some more chunky powder to put into non-fat yogurt to allow myself a bit of a sweet treat every now and again, but our local grocery shop is out of the yogurt so 'll have to wait to try it for a little longer.

Tomorrow we'll have some bbq and I think I might just have more spinach salad with the meat. Please cross your fingers it won't rain, like it usually does in this crappy town.

#weight goals #weight loss #weight management #diary #update #i need to lose so much weight #i need to lose this weight #i wanna lose weight #relationship #eedee tumblr #tw ed descussion #tw ed sheeran #tw eating issues #tw ed but not sheeran #fitblr #fitness

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lunisway · 19 days

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04/10/24

What a day!

My ED really got the best of me today and I struggled a lot with eating. I had my salad for lunch and binged on a hotdog after. But then I ended up purging both of those things, so I felt okay. I didn't even finish the hotdog. I threw it away after a couple of bits, but man. That was hard! I had a handful of veggie snacks throughout the day and that morning I prepared lasagna soup in my instantpot (after K gave away T's slow cooker lol, what a bitch). So after work I went to a Zumba class with my coworker at it was a great time! According to my Fitbit I burned about 400 kcal which balanced my afternoon snack shenanigan and I walked home for about a mile too. When I got home I had two bowls of lasagna soup and felt shit again. Could have had just one and been fine, but it was just such a day. Eh, today will be better!

I am even more convinced my colleague has an ed too. She went go gab donut and only ate half of it and threw the other half out. She "has a rule of never eating around people" and she makes ed jokes. Am I assuming? Yessir, but I feel like it is not completely unfounded.

I just have to learn more self control !

#weight goals #weight loss #weight management #diary #update #i need to lose so much weight #i need to lose this weight #i wanna lose weight #relationship #eedee tumblr #tw ed descussion #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ed sheeran #tw eating issues #tw

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