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loveshotzz · 1 year

Note

Eddie: “Leave me alone” “Is that really what you want?” But make it spicy! If you want.

Anything for you my Danny Devito loving twin.

This kind of took a mind of it’s own 🫠

18 PLUS NO MINORS

Warnings: lots of smut, minors do not enter. Oral (f receiving) unprotected sex, cream pie, multiple orgasms, sex in the Hellfire room. Annoying!boyfriend Eddie x fem!reader

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Eddie had been getting on your nerves all day and you were starting to think he was doing it on purpose. All the little things that would get under your skin he was doing all of them.

It started in the morning, you’d stumbled out of his room half naked in a sleep filled daze. Shuffling to the bathroom, your brain wasn’t functioning enough to even think to check for the seat. Plopping down the shock of the cold water in the dirty toilet bowl hits your bare ass soaking the bottom of Eddie’s shirt you were wearing in the process. A deep rage starting to nestle in the pit of your stomach you begrudgingly hoist yourself up using the sink and tub on either side of you. Peeling off the shirt being extra careful not to get the water in your hair, you use the dry part to wipe yourself off. The urge to shower was enough for you to throw away the extra hour of sleep you desperately needed. Slamming the toilet seat down in a huff you know your explosion isn’t enough to wake the sleeping beauty from his comma.

At lunch Eddie was extra eccentric, purposely drawing attention to the table daring anyone to come pick a fight with him. Usually when he was in this kind of mood it didn’t really annoy you, but the lack of sleep and the way he laughed when you told him what had happened earlier this morning had put him on your shit list for the rest of the day.

Ignoring his dramatics when he climbed on top of the table to yell on his soap box, you did your best to bury yourself in Wurthering Heights. Something your boyfriend should be doing if he wanted to actually pass Miss O’Donnells this year, but instead he was yelling at Jason from across the cafeteria.

Plopping himself back down next to you, the metal legs of the chair scrape across the linoleum of the cafeteria floor in a way that makes your eye twitch.

“Shouldn’t you be doing your homework for next period?” Snapping your outburst is enough to get the whole tables attention.

“Trouble in paradise?” Gareth quirks an eye brow at the two of you.

“What? Absolutely not. My girls crazy about me, right?” Eddie’s big arm wraps around your neck pulling you roughly to his chest before knuckling the crown of your head in a noogie.

Slapping his arm in an attempt to get away from him, his hold only tightens. The vibration of his chest against your cheek chuckling loudly above you.

“Eddie let me fucking go!” Huffing angrily you muster all your strength to finally push your overpowering boyfriend away.

Fingers trying desperately to fix the mess he made on the top of your head the rage from earlier only growing.

The classroom was silent during the surprise pop quiz in Miss O’Donnells, Eddie in his usual spot behind you, the burning sensation of his stare hits the back of your head.

“Pssst, hey.” His whisper echos through the quiet classroom immediately catching the attention of his mortal enemy.

“Mr. Munson, eyes on your test.” She’s curt when she addresses him with a tone that says this is your one and only warning.

Raising his hands in defense he brings his focus back to the blank test in front of him. Tapping his pencil on the desk the noise makes your leg shake in irritation. The grip on your pencil hard enough to feel it bend in your grasp.

After a few minutes your able to tune him out, completely submersed in your essay of an answer. A light tug on the back of your hair breaks your focus. Rolling your eyes you pretend not to notice, a few seconds later you feel the eraser at the end of his pencil in your ear causing you to jump.

Turning around in your seat the look on your face is enough for Eddie’s smug smirk to change into a deer caught in headlights, quick.

“I swear to god Eddie if you don’t st-“

Miss O’Donnell doesn’t give you the chance to finish scolding your boyfriend before she’s cutting you off sending you both to the office with a failing grade on the test.

Giving him the silent treatment for the rest of the day, you dodge his kiss when you enter the Hellfire room. Full lips planting on your cheek instead of your mouth, he grabs your wrist as you try to brush passed him.

“Hey, don’t be like that.” His tone is softer then it had been all day. The guilt of making you both fail the test from earlier eating away at him. Your cold shoulder only making it worse.

Ripping yourself from his grasp, you decide to sit next to Mike tonight. No where near your usual spot next to Eddie. Your anger had hit the point of - if it wasn’t the end of the campaign you would have just walked home.

You pretend not to notice the way his eyes beg for your attention the entire game. The empty seat next to him shifting the mood of the whole room, making the rest of the boys feel awkward being stuck in the middle.

It’s almost comical how quickly everyone files out the moment it’s over despite their win over Eddie. The usual loitering and shit talking was dismissed with lack luster excuses of homework and other places to be leaving the two of you alone to clean up the mess.

Collecting all the papers strewn about the giant wooden table, you’re laser focused on pretending that he doesn’t exist, even when his eyes are glued to you.

“Come on baby, I know I fucked up.” His voice comes from right behind you, big hands gripping your hips to pull you against him.

Nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck he nips at the sensitive spot just below your ear. Ignoring the way it makes goosebumps dance over your skin, you do your best to try and crane your neck away from him.

“Don’t be like this, let me make it up to you princess.” Feeling his bulge press into your ass you knew he had to be worked up, touch starved from your lack of affection today.

Still silent you let him rut himself into without giving any reaction regardless of the slick starting to grow between your legs. With all of your anger taking center stage you didn’t realize how much you missed his hands on you until he had you pressed against the table.

Taking advantage of the fact you weren’t pushing him away, his hands leave their home on your hips to sneak their way up your shirt. Rough and calloused they trail up the softness of your stomach before stopping at the edge of your bra. Toying with the lace trim he hums in satisfaction before taking your earlobe into his hot mouth sucking gently, making your eyes roll in the back of your head.

“Eddie, leave me alone.” It’s not convincing when the demand feebly leaves your lips.

“Is that really what you want?” Releasing your earlobe with a loud pop he turns you around so your face to face with his onyx blown out eyes.

The grin that spreads over his face is nothing short of devilish when you don’t give him a response. Stubbornness winning you refuse to get lost in the darkness of his eyes. Peering up at the popcorn ceiling you try to keep yourself distracted.

Dropping to his knees, his hands skim down the length of your curves before settling at the top of your jeans. Fingers curling through your belt loops he gives you a gentle tug towards him to get your attention.

Trying to stay strong and ignore the way you can feel your heartbeat between your thighs, he pops the button of your jeans open and you finalliy break casting your eyes down to his.

“Let me show you how sorry I am baby.” Bottom lip jutting out, your boyfriend was literally begging on his knees for you.

“You’re making it awfully hard for me to stay mad at you like this Munson.” With an exasperated sigh you reach down smoothing a thumb over the soft planes of his cheek bone.

Your favorite dimple filled smile takes over the pout on his face before he pulls at your zipper not giving you a second chance to change your mind. Hands gripping his broad shoulders for balance he tugs the denim down your legs pulling them over your converse.

“You’re not gonna take off my shoes?” Giggling as he nips at the meat of the inside of your thighs, he looks up at you from under the hood of his thick lashes.

“I’m about to fuck your brains out on school property, I need you to be able to make a quick escape if need be.” Tapping his fingers on your shoes to make a point, he brings his hands to the back of your thighs gripping hard as he stands up to take you with him.

Feeling weightless until your ass hits the rough wood of the table he slots himself between your legs. The new angle has him looking down at you, power dynamic shifting in the room.

Thumb and forefinger grip the bottom of your chin bringing your eyes to meet his.

“You haven’t kissed me all day you know that?” He mumbles chocolate orbs focusing their attention to your parted lips.

“You haven’t deserved it.” You shoot back with a sneer remembering all of the days incidents.

Scoffing he pulls your bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb before leaning to capture your mouth with his. Languid and slow his lips move against yours without any urgency, relishing in the feeling of having you close again he was in no rush for this to end. Swiping his tongue against your bottom lip the taste of your strawberry lip gloss makes his jeans tighten even more.

Wrapping your legs around his waist the heels of your feet push him closer, the hard on hidden underneath the denim rubbing against the bundle of nerves tucked behind the wet patch in your underwear. Greedy hands find there way up his shirt, finger nails scraping against the rough patch of hair that lined his stomach. Pulling away he sucks your bottom lips before letting it go with a scrape of his teeth.

“For someone who’s mad at me you seem awfully eager.” The smugness in his voice is almost enough for you to push him away until his lips make their way down your jaw. Nipping at the length of your neck he sucks on your most sensitive spots before dropping back down to his knees in front of you.

Warm hands cover your kneecaps gently pushing them apart. Face to face with your arousal his tongue darts out across his lips like a man starved.

“Baby, she needs me. Look at her, she’s practically crying for me to make her cum.” His words only add the to the pooling in your underwear as he watches the wet patch grow from his words.

Your hands find their home back on his shoulders when he pushes his face against your covered cunt. Inhaling deeply he rubs his nose against the bundle of nerves that’s screaming for his attention.

“F-fuck Eddie.” His name comes out in a broken whimper as his tongue pushes out running a long stripe up your entrance.

Hands leaving his shoulders to plant on the table, you lift your hips up slightly so he can pull the offending fabric away from the view he so desperately craved.

“Fuck sweetheart, you’re dripping on the table.” Voice cracking a growl rips from his chest before he buries his face in your pussy without warning.

Groaning when the taste of you hits his tongue, he laps up your juices with an eager mouth before wrapping his plump lips around your clit, sucking it hard enough for you to yelp and close your legs on him.

Grumbling under his breath strong hands wrap themselves around your trembling thighs pulling you even closer to his torturing mouth leaving you with no escape.

“Jesus Christ.” You moan throwing yourself back on the table completely succumbing to the way his mouth is working every inch of you.

Bringing his attention to your fluttering hole his nose brushes against your clit with every thrust of his tongue. Animalistic noises rumble from his chest as he devours you, the vibration going straight to your core.

“Fuck baby, you’re gonna.” When he adds a thick finger with the motions of his tongue the gasp that leaves your mouth cuts off any coherent sentence you might be able to form.

Adding a second finger he pulls his mouth away from your dripping cunt, your slick coating the bottom half of his face as he looks up at you with an almost feral look in his eyes,

“I’m gonna what pretty girl? Can’t use your words?” If it wasn’t for the blown out look in his eyes the cockiness of his tone would make you think he wasn’t just as effected by this.

Mouth going slack when he curls his fingers up hitting that spongy spot inside of you he knows you can’t answer him when you feel this good.

“If you can’t say it baby, I’m afraid I can’t keep going.” Slowing the motions of his fingers, your brain starts to clear from the fog it was in as the orgasm you were chasing slowly starts to disappear. Finally able to catch your breath you look down at him from between your legs with a hard glare set on your face.

“I thought you were trying to show me how sorry you were asshole.”

Throwing his head back his laugh bounces off the walls in the empty room.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make sure you cum more then once.” Before you can come up with a witty response to throw his way his mouth is buried in your folds again with even more intensity than before.

Words lost at the tip of your tongue your head falls back onto the table again, the orgasm you thought you lost coming back with every stroke of his tongue.

“Please, please, please don’t stop.” Begging for mercy you can feel his lips turn up in a grin from around you clit.

Adding a third finger a silent scream leaves your mouth as your toes curl with his fingers. Papers flying off the table your hands search frantically for something to keep you grounded when the coil inside you finally snaps.

Latching onto his thick curls your thighs close around his head when your body starts to convulse around him, your hole fluttering around his fingers. His name leaving your lips like it was the only word in your vocabulary stroking his ego even more as he laps up everything you give him with a hungry tongue.

Fingers loosening their death grip on his hair you give his forehead a gentle push, his kitten licks quickly becoming over stimulating. With one last hard suck on your clit he rears his head back with a Cheshire smile.

“Still mad at me?”

Rolling your eyes, you can’t fight the laugh that escapes your throat.

“You’re a dick you know that?” Running a tired hand over your face you prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him.

The bottom half of his face glistening with your release, his hair is even more unruly from the work of your hands. The sight is almost enough to forget how annoyed you were with the handsome boy in front of you.

Pushing yourself up so you were sitting on the edge of the table, he uses your knees as leverage to pick himself up off the floor, towering over you once again. Tugging at his shirt you pull him closer craning your neck up to capture his lips coated with your juices. Moaning lowly when your tongue swipes against his full bottom lip, you use the opportunity to taste yourself on his tongue.

Making quick work of his pants, desperate hands shove the denim with his boxers down his thighs releasing his hard length. Mushroom top angry and red, you knew he wasn’t going to last long once he got to fuck you. Wrapping your fingers around him you can feel just how turned on he is, the weight of it felt in the soft palm of your hand. Thumb swiping over the tip collecting the precum that was leaking from the slit, you suck his bottom lip between your teeth as you start pumping him with a flick of your wrist.

Sweaty forehead pressed to yours a breathy “fuck” leaves his mouth when you squeeze him at the base.

“If you don’t let me fuck you now, I’m gonna cum right in your hand sweetheart.” Your sly smirk makes him chuckle as your movements get faster at his warning. Shaking his head, a strong hand grips the sides of your face pushing your cheeks together to stop you.

“If we’re fucking in here I’m bending you over this table.” The sternness of his tone sends a fresh wave of arousal between your legs adding to what was already coating the inside of your thighs. All you can do is nod in between his strong fingers. His hand leaves your chin at your compliance and it joins his other on your hips to help you down.

Standing on wobbling legs his hands hover over you until he feels like you can hold yourself up with out him, body still recovering from his unrelenting tongue. Your hands run over his chest making his hellfire shirt ride up under your finger tips. Cocking his head slightly he smirks down at you, grabbing your chin one more time to collect your lips.

“Now be a good girl and turn around for your dungeon master baby.” Snorting at him referring to himself as dungeon master he rolls his eyes at you, before turning you around to face the table.

The metal of his rings make contact with your skin when his hand comes down hard on your ass. Yelping your hands shoot out in front of you.

“Eddie!” Gasping you turn to look at him over your shoulder.

“What? You don’t like it?” Cocking his eye brow at you, he knew the answer already. Seeing just how much you liked it from between you legs.

When you don’t give him a response he chuckles with a “I thought so” under his breath before pushing down on the small of your back bending you completely over the table.

Grabbing the base of his cock he crowds behind you, with one hand on your hip he swipes the tip against your wet folds hissing when you juices cover the head mixing with his own.

“So fucking wet.” He groans before lining himself up with your tight entrance. Pushing in slowly the stretch is enough to have you a whimpering mess underneath him. Fists clenching at nothing when he bottoms out inside of you.

Stilling he lets you adjust to his size before he pulls himself almost completely out before slamming back into you. The force of his thrust making your hip bones connect with the wood of the table.

“Eddie - fuck!” Moaning loudly, the feeling of him filling you up distracts you from the bruises you’re sure are going to form from the impact.

“God, you feel so good.” With another hand to your ass, the contact makes you jolt against him meeting his thrusts by accident.

The sound of skin hitting skin is the only thing that fills the empty drama room. The legs of the table scraping across the floor with every push of his hips. Snaking his hand around you, his fingers find your clit again rubbing harsh circles over the over stimulated bud.

“You’re gonna make- I’m gonna, I’m cumming!”Your second orgasm feels like it comes out of nowhere, hitting your body harder then the first. Seeing white behind your tightly shut eyes you feel him shudder on top of you.

“Shit, she’s sucking me in sweetheart, I’m gonna cum too - oh, oh fuck” groaning loud enough to get caught you feel his cock twitch before spilling himself deep inside of you. Your gummy walls milking him for every last drop as the last of your own orgasm rakes through your body.

The tension in the room from before gone, Eddie rests his body on top of yours completely spent while the both of you try and catch your breath.

“So, this means you forgive me right?” He mumbles into your back

“I’d say that’s safe to assume.” You laugh cheek pressed against the table with your hands laid out in front of you.

The knock on the classroom door snaps you both back to reality. Miss O’Donnell’s voice like nails to a chalk board on the other side.

“This is why I told you to keep your shoes on.”

@munsonology @munsonmunster

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie x you #eddie x y/n

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utahimeow · 7 months

Text

swan song — satoru gojo

summary — why work so hard when you could just be free?

pairing — satoru gojo x f!reader

warnings — major jjk spoilers, graphic depictions of violence, hurt/comfort, angst, happy endings, reader has a cursed technique (mentioned once), established relationship

word count — 1.3k

author’s note — based on swan song by lana del rey. this is the most self indulgent selfship coded thing i’ve ever written but i needed to give gojo the happy ending he deserved idc if its cheesy or out of character

He’s dead.

Dead.

The strongest. Dead.

Satoru Gojo is dead.

A flash, then his body becomes two — legs here, torso there.

He’s not moving. Scarlet splatters the ground, blooms like a lily.

The air is disgustingly thick, and it hangs like a noose, and it cuts your throat. Nobody is breathing. Everybody knows.

This time, he’s not getting back up.

A scream claws its way out of your throat, vicious as it pierces through the air.

Someone else is stepping up to replace him already, a sorcerer with hair like seafoam. The King of Curses turns towards him, his stolen face twisting into a demonic grin, dripping with victory.

Right now there’s just one thing on your mind. Like instinct, like it’s your destiny. You don’t care about the politics, the consequences, the implications of his death. None of it matters.

You just want to be with Satoru.

Your feet are moving. They almost take off, but a steady grip pulls you back.

“You should leave.” Shoko’s voice quivers as she speaks. You’ve seen her composure crack so rarely that when you do it feels like your first time witnessing it.

Your face is hot, and it’s wet now. Your eyes sting. You don’t try to stop the tears, or even wipe them.

If you were to look up, you’d find eyes full of sorrow and shock and pity—you’re the grieving widow. His students have lost a teacher, his friends have lost a friend. At least I’m not her, they all think, I haven’t lost the love of my life.

Without another word, without even so much as one final glance at Satoru’s corpse, you leave. You can’t bear to be there any longer.

The taxi driver does not question why you’re crying. He pretends he does not hear the way you sniffle and gasp for air. He drives you to your home and drives away when you’ve paid him.

You breathe out. Your shoulders sag with relief. You will yourself to stop crying.

He’s in the living room, a thick arm thrown over his eyes as he half-naps. As soon as he hears you enter however, he springs up, beaming like the sun.

Satoru laughs a little at your puffy face and your glimmering eyes. He gathers you into a hug, his body hard and imposing and warm, and you cling to him. His heart pumps blood around his body and it’s loud in your ears.

“That was traumatic,” you say, but it gets muffled when you bury your face into his chest. He smells fresh, like the wind on a warm day. He must have showered since he teleported home.

Satoru’s laughing again. You wish he’d never stop. “You knew it was fake the whole time, how bad could it be?”

“I had to watch you die, Satoru! It was horrible even if it was fake,” you admit, tightening your arms around his waist, where his torso meets his legs.

He laughs, and it reverberates in his chest and rumbles through your body. You’re angry. You can’t climb inside of his skin and live there and you’re angry about it. His giant hands draw circles all over your back.

“I’m here, baby. I’m all yours now,” he tells you. For the first time, he means it without any exceptions.

…

“What if you faked your death?”

Satoru’s head whips over to look at you, scanning your face to find something that will tell him you’re not serious. But you are serious.

One word, he asks, “why?”

“So we can give up being sorcerers and leave Japan and never come back.”

Satoru grows quiet. There’s a pit in your stomach. He tells you constantly that he’d give you the world, and you believe him, and he loves you more than anything, yet he can’t bring himself to give up on humanity. Without him, the world doesn’t stand a chance. He’s the strongest, after all.

“Is that what you want?” he asks. It’s sincere.

“Yes,” you tell him, swallowing as you consider your next words. “I just got you back from the Prison Realm and now you have to fight Sukuna, who might actually kill you… You just give and give so much to the Jujutsu world and what do they give you back? Shit all. And I’m tired of watching you be wrung dry.”

He’s silent again. All the years that you’ve known him make it easy for you to know what he’s thinking. More than likely he’s thinking of Yuuji and Megumi and Yuuta. Maybe he wonders what Nanami would tell him to do, or what Geto would say.

It’ll be selfish. He’ll be abandoning everyone at the worst possible moment. He turns your words over and over in his head. Then he thinks of a life with you, a peaceful one, where you’ve left behind your days of sorcery, where he doesn’t have to be some pseudo-god.

Where he can grow old with you.

Perhaps, he thinks, it’s necessary for him to disappear. It’ll be a struggle without him, but he has faith. They’ll persevere.

“What are you thinking?” he asks eventually.

“I’ll use cursed energy to create a clone of you. Since my clones can’t use cursed techniques it’ll have to be right when Sukuna is about to kill you. You switch out and teleport out of there.”

For a moment he stares at you, then he chuckles, shifting sideways so he can lay on his back and stare at the ceiling with resolve.

“You’ve been thinking about this,” he says.

“I have,” you say. “For as long as I’ve loved you.”

…

He thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful.

He’s convinced of it, actually. Life has filled your cheeks out and erased your dark circles away. Your eyes shine brighter. Fear no longer lives in them, nor does hopelessness.

Your fingers are gentle as you pluck fresh, plump tomatoes off the vine. Satoru’s heart swells because you’ve been so excited to harvest them.

“It’s just a handful for now,” you tell him, letting him peer inside the basket you have on your arm. There are a few bunches of rocket and basil leaves, and a small squash too.

He reaches in, takes a tomato and pretends to take a bite out of it until you snatch it from his hand and scold him.

“They just look too good, baby,” he says between laughs. You roll your eyes, but you don’t manage to bite back the smile that grows on your lips.

“Go finish building my chicken coop,” you tease, calling him by his last name, the one he took from you, then brushing past him to head back inside your home.

“I told you it’s almost finished!” he exclaims, trailing behind you as you make your way to the vintage renovated kitchen of your house.

Satoru settles on a stool at the island at the centre, observing the way you rinse the vegetables in the sink. To him it’s fascinating—well, you’re fascinating. The way your brow scrunches slightly with concentration. He hopes you never run out of vegetables to harvest and wash. He’ll make sure you don’t.

“By the way, what do you think about getting some mini goats?”

“I don’t care as long as you take care of them,” you tell him. “Do you want salad or roasted vegetables for lunch?”

Satoru’s heart races. He’s transported back to 2006 for a moment, when for some reason he wanted to be around you all the time and thought it was weird that he liked it when you teased him. Before he realised.

“Roasted vegetables, please. I love you.”

Satoru doesn’t look much different now. He’s gotten a little more toned, put on some muscle from some of the heavy work he does on the farm.

And when he smiles, he’s not pretending anymore.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fanfic #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo imagine #gojo satoru imagine #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk imagine #jjk x you #jjk spoilers #꒰ lovers. ꒱ — gojo

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munsonbrackets · 7 months

Text

Astarion x undying male reader (2)

I rewrote it! I like this one more than the other one, hopefully you all enjoy ver. 2 as well!

TW: angst, graphic(ish) depitctions, SPOILERS FOR ASTARION'S STORY

You and Astarion walk down the steps. The steps that are gonna decide the fate of him forevermore.

Who lives, who dies.

At the end of the stairs, Cazador starts his speech. The rehearsed words fall into crumbling deafening sentences, leaving you silent as Astarion speaks up for himself.

“You son of a bitch.” Astarion sneers and leaps towards starting the fight against his former master himself. You do not manage to grab him.

Before anyone can even register what’s happened, Astarion is sent to his spot. His spot, his place in the ritual, it glows and shimmers as if to mock and disturb you. Which it does.

Cazador stares at you, the contained rage flittering across his expression. Next thing you feel is his closeness to yourself, the heat running from your throat. His claws had dug and slashed and you feel the burning, red hot, blood draws down and in, suffocating and heating and dizzying. You fall to the floor, the liquid leaving you, leaves you feeling restless, but so fucking tired.

The rest of your party startle in for the fight ahead as you lay useless, suffocating on your own blood. The next thing you see is your own blood forming around you, your eyes blacking out. It never stops hurting.

And as you wake, your companions are struggling, fighting against the plentyfull of foes that you so cruelly left them fighting alone.

Your hand pushes your head off the floor first, no one has yet to notice the sudden life stuttering its way through your body. But the desperation never leaves your head. How long?! You scream, but no words leave you. Your mouth dry and parched, the words catching on the cut that is struck across your throat.

As you look up you realize that Cazador is at his last step. The last part, a mere handful of seconds left. You push yourself off the ground, your legs carry you faster than your newly living lungs can keep up with, but you catch him.

You catch Cazador as you leap towards the edge, a bone crushing grip settled around his ribs. You drag him to whatever pit of hell awaits under his sick idea of a ritualistic battleground that he had built to ascend.

To become great.

To take away Astarion.

The descent towards the floor of the pit goes by in seconds, but Cazador is scratching and pushing, biting and attempting to flee. You will not let him. Your keen ears hear his body connect with the ground a mere millisecond before yours does. A mere fraction of a moment, that you use to hope. Hope that this stopped the ritual, that Astarion is safe.

And once more everything is black.

You cannot help but wonder if they tried to pay Withers. To bring you back. What he said, what they discussed, would they try to get your body? Put themselves on the line for your unanimated corpse?

You were perhaps nothing more than a splotch on the ground, but you still thought. You were thinking. You are thinking.

Your eyes open with the same voracity as the breath you take in. No longer a splotch, no longer a pile of mess. You were in your own body again. In your own body, with heat. Heat pouring from your beating heart, pumping the blood and startling your limbs to reset. Your tears start and you sob. You wretch every gasp of air through your body as you lay at the bottom of a seemingly endless pit.

And as your brittle bones register the muscles surrounding them, they realize they are not so brittle after all. They are living. Moving, constricting, cramping, releasing. They tense as you push yourself to sit up.

Seemingly endless vastness peers down at you from the great beyond that you see when you look up. Climb, no think, just climb, no look around. Your head and heart scream, striking your ears with a piercing pitch.

You look around first, no one just makes a ditch. It has to have a purpose. Your aching legs agree to push you up, the all too familiar burn spreading through your body. The burn that you have labeled ‘The experience of one more life’, the feeling of living. Again.

You trudge insecurely across the unstable floor that you cannot see in the complete darkness. Your eyes only adjust enough to see your own nose, you’ve learnt that your eyes wake up last, probably due to the separate immune system awakening to the…situation?

You put your hands up, stumbling into a wall, following it, finding an arch. A doorway, probably. And stairs. Stairs. Inside the doorway. You crawl up, making sure that one hand follows the edge, your other leads you. Slowly.

As you get nearer to the top, your body no longer burns from life, but from exhaustion. Step by step, you near the dim light of the ritualistic battlefield that you fell from. Dead silence.

Your heart once more burns as you realize that you left your companions to fight, you forced a hand that Cazador couldn’t have dealt. You never even felt what should have been Cazador’s splotch on the ground that you awoke on, nothing sticky, icky or gooey. The light finally shows you your hands, which are covered in nothing but dust and dirt of some kind.

The far top reveals that you just climbed a tower, the bridge that would have led directly to Cazador’s ritual is completely broken. But your companions might need help, they might not have lived like you always seemed to. They might need you to pay Withers. Bring them back. Your legs brace themselves for the jump towards the center. You should have jumped further, you realize, as your chest collides with jutted bricks, your breath cascaded out as your nails dig into any crevice they can get hold of. A single slip and you start over.

You refuse. You clamber up the edge, sitting right behind what would have been Astarion’s circle. No ashes, no bones, he must be alright. A quick glance tells you that no bones here are mildly human. You push your legs forward once more, stand up. Walk over past Cazador’s empty tomb, his distraught body slowly succumbing to the laws of nature. But not gone.

You stomp over his skull, then you pause, then you repeat. Again and again and again, the heat of rage spreads through you. Fuck this place, fuck Cazador, fuck this ritual.

Your head thumps as you look towards the stairs leading up, leading out. The steps are tenfold worse than from the tower, the adrenaline gone, the rush faded, even the anger disappeared as quickly as it entered.

The top of the stairs is adorned by voices, whispers almost. Then only the silence broken by your tired steps on the staircase. You practically drag your body the rest of the way. Another doorway, leading to…people.

People with swords pointed at you, bows drawn, daggers at the ready. The monster hunters stand ready, their weapons drawn. The center of them, just in front of the elevator that leads out. Astarion. Beautiful, kind, Astarion.

Astarion who pushes past the hunters in front of him, Astarion who runs to you, Astarion who leaps into your arms. Your legs barely brace for his body's impact, before they give in and the two of you collapse onto your knees, the hard floor doing nothing for the pain that shoots through your body.

Gorgeous Astarion who sobs into your embrace as you hold him. The tears stream down your own cheeks, the command for everyone to stand down is given. Astarion pulls away, peels himself away from you. The lack of him makes you feel cold.

“You-” Astarion sneers, “I saw you! What did y-”

He doesn’t manage to finish his sentence as the tears cascade over his angry expression and he sends a flurry of weak punches into you. A sob wracks through his body.

“Cazador knew you! You know he knew you.”

You realize Astarion’s eyes are not filled with anger directed at you, but himself. He remembers you. He remembers handing you to Cazador.

“I forgive you, Astarion. I would throw myself off an edge to save you a million times over.” You mutter back, your hands finding the sides of his face. You bring his face to yours, plant a sweet kiss on him. You pull away and plant Astarion’s forehead against you. His hands hold yours, still on his face.

“You’re that invulnerable boy. I’m so sorry.” Astarion mutters through more gasps and sobs.

“I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago, before ever meeting you again. You’re my everything, Astarion. I wouldn’t change a thing about the past if it meant I would never meet you again.” You tumble out, the saltiness of your tears entering your mouth as your words stumble.

You fall into each other's embrace again, a silent promise. Truth goes both ways. But not now. Now is reserved for this.

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rhadamanthes · 2 months

Text

Shared Custody. Sukuna x reader x Toji

Part 2 from this work !

Word count : 3k

Warnings : established relationship,threesome, double penetration, hate sex (kinda), oral sex female receiving, creampie, overstimulation, praise, bit of fluff and bit of angst

The weight on your lap is slowly lifting and you tighten your grasp as a reflex. Opening your eyes you see Toji trying to take little megumi in his arms. You blink the sleep out of your eyes and relax your arms.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't waiting for you this early" you say standing on your feet. He scoffs, securing megumi on his hips

"I was gone for two hours, you two slept the whole time?"

Ever since you moved in, a lot of things have happened. Your boyfriend befriending the teasing neighbour is one of them. And the more you get to know him the more it makes sense they're a lot alike in more ways than one. They often go to the gym together, and can talk for hours about cars and UFC that you don't really care about, but you're glad they do. Sukuna with his gruff nature doesn't have a lot of friends, even if he'll never admit you know that this is what they are for each other.

When Toji learned that you worked from home he asked you if it was ok for you to keep his 6 year old son from time to time. You gladly accepted, thinking it'll bring you some company and you're already used to babysitting thanks to Yuuji : Sukuna's little brother who is the same age as Megumi. Needless to say Megumi is a spitting image of his father both physically and personality wise. He slowly warmed up to you and is now fully comfortable in your presence. As a proof Toji dropped him off earlier and just a few minutes in he climbed on your lap asking you to draw with him. Megumi ended up falling asleep and you followed him.

Snapping out of your reverie you reach on the coffee table for the drawing Megumi did for his dad. you show it to him smiling at the fact that he drew a wolf with a scar on his lips. Toji smiles at the sight too before meeting your eyes

"You did this for me?" he asks with one of his signature smirk. You roll your eyes before pushing him to the door. He turns around thanking you for keeping megumi this afternoon before planting a kiss on your cheek and leaving. You freeze at his gesture, he's never been physical with you like you've never been with him. It makes you uncomfortable and you feel a pit in your stomach.

"Do you want me to kill him ?" you gasp putting your hands over Sukuna's mouth

"Shhhhh! he can probably hear us!" You debated the whole night to Tell Sukuna or not about the kiss incident as it made you feel like you were hiding something from him. Now that you two were in bed you decided it was the right time but he doesn't seem to take it seriously.

"Want me to kill Toji Fushiguro ?" he repeated louder this time. You hit his arm and give him a hard stare.

"I'm being serious, I'm telling you this because it makes me feel weird." He covers your hand with his own petting you lightly.

"I understand, maybe it's just his way to thank you you've been helping him out a lot this days with the brat" you raise your eyebrows at his answer

"You're taking this very chill, if it was Satoru you'd be fuming"

"Because i think that this idiot is not really gay"

"Oh please he is engaged to Suguru and we're literally invited to the wedding" you scoff

"All i'm saying is until one of them get pregnant i'll not believe it" You chuckle at his words

"So we're good i just wanted to tell you to avoid an awkward situation" you say caressing his hair.

"All good baby, go to sleep," he adds, kissing your lips. As always he holds you close to his chest, hands on your tits before he drifts to sleep. You can't shake the weird feeling you have about his reaction.

A few days pass. Toji seems to have noticed your attitude change and he's been teasing you even more, sending wink your way anytime he gets a chance. He is infuriating you; he knows you're trying to set boundaries and he's just laughing at your face. You think about this while laying flat on your bed, eyes closed. A long sigh escapes your mouth, tonight is the weekend and you want to do something with Sukuna, he should be coming home anytime now. You hear the front door opening but you don't move, eyes still closed, a soft smile playing on your lips, the mattress dip next to you, rubbing his back softly as you tell him your plans.

"Baby~ I was thinking tomorrow we could go to the funfair and then the movies after what do you think?"

"I think you should ask your boyfriend when he gets home" Your eyes snap open and you straighten your back. Toji is seating on your bed looking at you like he owns the place, you can even process what's happening you're just staring at him dumbfounded

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" you snap "What the hell is wrong with you? Get out of here!" you yell pushing his back trying to get him off the bed. He doesn't even budge, you were about to drag him by his hair when Sukuna's voice echoes in the room

"Hey, what's happening here ?" he asks in his nonchalant voice. You instantly walk to him grabbing his shirt in your fist.

"What in god's name is your problem" you say on the verge of a breakdown

"Calm down" he says attempting to unclench your fists. Losing all of your patience you grab his jaw digging your nails in his skin in the process.

"One thing you are not going to do is tell me to calm down when you know damn well it's your fault you think i'm stupid ? you think i don't know what's happening?"

The thing is Sukuna has always been vocal about his needs and fantasies. He's been telling you for a long time now that he would like to have a threeesome not with a woman like most men want but with another man, because he likes to see you struggle. The weird gut feeling you had the night you confessed to him slowly came to this conclusion: he doesn't mind because he wants this to happen with Toji. He is a handsome man, that's for sure but the fact that Sukuna is going behind your back makes you want to pull the hair out of your scalp.

A long sigh escapes his lips. You feel his hands on each of your cheeks. He crouches down so your eyes are on the same level as his, but you keep your gaze on the ground not wanting to give him this satisfaction.

"Baby, I didn't tell you anything because I know that you would catch up on it" he says in a sweet voice. You scoff in disbelief meeting his gaze

"So you and your friend had fun toying with me all week long ? Well I'll leave you to it, go on and explore each other's bodies" you spat rushing past him. Before you can reach the doorknob his arms are wrapped around your waist, your back flush against his chest. You try to wiggle out of his grasp but there's no use. His head is right on top of yours

"Now now it's not a way to behave when we have a guest" he coos, you feel him move back until he sits on the bed, you on his lap.

"I have a feeling the funfair won't happen tomorrow" you hear Toji say from his side of the bed. You don't even look his way at the remark. He probably just wants to rile you up more, but your whole body is buzzing you want to slap him so badly. Sukuna pet you thigh, proud that you don't let your anger control you.

"Good girl" he murmurs, kissing the back of your head. You tense at his gesture still not at peace with his whole plan

"You look like a puppy on his master lap you know" Toji taunts You dig your nails in Sukuna's arms about to lose your patience

"Toji have some respect for my girlfriend will you ? Or else we can have fun without you." Your body relaxes a bit at his words; he's not willing to let any transgression for the sake of his fantasy.

"I would like to apologize but pup is not even looking me in the eyes". you huff through your nose in anger.

Sukuna moves your body sideways so you're facing Toji . You're only taking a good look at him now he's wearing a black compression shirt with a loose sweatpant and his signature flip flop. You roll your eyes at his ease, a smirk crosses his lips at your reaction. He's holding his hand in front of yours.

"That's your apology?" you ask incredulously.He withdraws his hands rolling his eyes.

Sukuna has the feeling of watching two children argue and he is getting impatient

"Toji why don't you show her how sorry you are instead of using your words" he raises his voice. He then gets you off his lap.

You turn to him searching for an answer in his eyes but he's ignoring you, taking off his jacket with a smile on his lips. Toji is kneeling in front of you, parting your thighs. Even though he's infuriating, you have to admit that seeing him on his knees for you makes you feel hot inside. He bites at your skin until he reaches your underwear, closing his eyes he takes a long sniff. What a damn pervert you think.He starts licking at your covered clit, emerald eyes never leaving yours. You're starting to get flustered, heat rushing to your cheek. Sukuna places himself behind you and you lean on his torso in an attempt to cool off a bit. His hands snake under your shirt to grab your tits, his indexes are teasing your naked nipples.The contrast of Toji hot tongue on your fold and the coldness of Sukuna fingertips makes you quiver. Your underwear has been long discarded, Toji is eating your pussy like a starved man, alternating between swirling his tongue around your clit and slobbering on it, leaving your arousal all over his lower face not even caring to look you in the eyes anymore, his grunts and the obscene sound of your wetness meeting his skin fills the room. At this pace you're going to unravel at any given moment. you grab a lock of his hair to get his attention

"Toji i'm going to cum" you manage to croak, and you hate how weak your voice sounds like you were not fighting him just five minutes ago. He groans in response, picking up his pace.

Sukuna grabs you jaw turning your face to his, you reach for a kiss desperate to feel more of him. His hand slides down to your throat keeping you in place while the other is still toying with your sensitive tits. Soon enough you lose yourself in pleasure cumming all over Toji's face. Sukuna absorbs your moans pressing his lips deeper on your own. Out of breath you break the kiss. Toji stands up and you notice the obvious tent in his pants. He makes a quickwork of his sweatpant standing in his underwear in front of you. Looking down on you, his face still glistening with your arousal, you want to satisfy him back. Before you can reach for his underwear he plops on the bed, hands behind his head looking at you with a big smile. He takes joy in your frustration

"Don't be so eager i want the real deal you can suck me off later " he coos spreading his legs wide.

"Do you ever just shut up" you groan annoyed with his antics once again.

"Why don't you make me?" he says, fluffing the pillow behind his head, making himself comfortable once again.

Filled with confidence you straddle him ducking his face into the pillow, he chuckles at your roughness but you quickly stuff his mouth with your index and middle finger. He groans, closing his teeth around your flesh sucking your fingertips in his wet mouth.

"Careful now don't break him" you hear Sukuna behind your back. He places a kiss on your naked shoulder before he slides both Toji's and his underwear down.

They're fully hard, your mouth salivating at the thought of them filing you at the same time. You retrieve your finger from Toji's mouth, kissing him hungrily. The kiss has nothing to do with the one you share with your boyfriend. This is a battle for dominance. He bites at your lips, licks your teeth and pulls you impossibly closer as he digs his hands on your sides. From behind Sukuna can't help but laugh at the sight, you were never an angry person and seeing you taking it out on Toji like that amuses him. He takes his length along with Toji's stroking them a few times before he prodds them at your entrance. You gasp at the unfamiliar size, clenching Toji's shoulders. Looking back at Sukuna you whimper a little.

"Relax baby" he says tapping your ass.You lay your head flat on Toji's chest trying to unwind. The stretch is nothing you ever felt before, you bite on his pec as they slide more and more of themselves inside, until they're fully stretching you out

"Oh my god, fuck" you blurt at your fullness. You slowly straighten your back scare to make any sudden move.

"Go on doll, go at your own pace" Toji says he's out of breath like he just ran a marathon. Fuck you want to see him crumble.

Using his body as an anchor you start to move your hips slowly the three of you groan in unison at the new feeling. the more you move the more you start to feel pleasure flooding your body it's like electricity in your fingertips. Sukuna locks his beefy arms around your middle part, thrusting slowly inside you. His breath is erratic and you wonder what it feels like for him to be both inside of you and flushed against Toji's member.

" Shit you're wetting my balls," Toji says, his voice faltering. Both of them sound so spent at the moment, it makes you gain a confidence you never knew you could have. Your moans fill the room as they're both hitting your g-spot.

"It feels so good " you gasp biting Sukuna's cheek. Toji grips your hips to thrust up inside of you and it drives you mad. You don't have time to feel empty as their cock bullies your soft spot one after the other.

Sukuna pins you against Toji's chest, bending one of your arms against your back. With your free limb you claw at his skin

"You're so big" you cry against his chest, tears filling your eyes as the pleasure escalates quickly. You feel his large hand grab your jaw before he melts on your lips.

The kiss is not as hungry as before, it's messy and leaves drool on your chin. "Fuck me" He groan against your lips and you know he's close. You grind your hips as best as you can, maintaining eye contact. Soon his pretty jade orbs roll on the back of his head filling your womb with his seeds. You chuckle a bit leaning your back against Sukuna's body now that you're satisfied with his release. Sukuna sticks his head against yours looking at your victim

"Look at what you did baby, you're proud ? " he asks in his deep voice. You nod your head, a mischievous smile playing on your lips as you intended to make him endure the same fate. Toji's face contorts in both pleasure and pain as his sensitive tip is still inside of you. Reducing him to a moaning mess after he's been teasing you so long makes you proud. Continuing his ministrations Sukuna brings you closer to the edge until you feel your whole body spasm with bliss while he fills you up. You collapse on Toji's chest not feeling strong enough to stand another second. Sukuna is hovering you, you can tell by the heat you feel in your back. He pulls out slowly of your cunt grunting at the sight of his and Toji's spunk leaking out of your hole. You feel so sinful thinking about it.

Lifting your body from Toji's he places you on the bed right next to him. He then leans on you as he peppers kisses all over your face and neck.

"I'm sorry if I let you get worked up all week hmm?" he coos placing another kiss on your face. Still hazy from your high you just nod , caressing his hair.

"But you did so good for us today, pretty girl, I'm so proud" he says, hiding his face in your neck and chewing on it. You giggle at the tickling sensation spreading in your skin.

From his side of the bed Toji feels a pit form in his stomach being the spectator of such an intimate scene reminds him that he has no one to go home to. Sure there is megumi, and the little guy had helped to keep him on track without even knowing it but Sharing your life with someone else is different. Getting up from the bed he hurriedly put his clothes back on, desiring to go back to his apartment as fast as he could. Your soft voice stops him in his tracks. turning around he sees your hand extended to him,your tired eyes urging him closer. He closes the gap between the two of you, taking your hand in his.

"Tomorrow let's meet for ice cream. You will buy me plan B after hmm ?" you say squeezing his hands. He chuckles at your request but agrees nevertheless. He places a soft kiss on the back of your hand before taking his leave, a warm feeling spreading in his chest.

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hp-hcs · 6 months

Note

HEYY I SAW U WANYED SOME THEODORE REQUESTS SO I WAS WONDERING IF YOUD WRITE SOME ANGSY W FLUFF AT THE END?

promise — theodore nott x gn!reader

Requests open

‼️ TWs: references to past domestic abuse & violence: emotional, financial, and physical ‼️

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

Text line: Text START to 88788

YOU DESERVE SAFETY. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Theodore Nott had his suspicions.

You’d never told him about any of your past relationships, but some of the odd things you did helped him draw his own conclusions.

Like that one random Tuesday night, when you were making dinner together in the kitchen, just chatting and laughing like usual. Theo had finished washing the dishes and shook his hands dry while reaching for the hand towel hanging from the oven handle, when you violently flinched back.

He froze, looking at you with wide eyes. You’d just laughed and patted his shoulder, apologizing for startling him.

Or that one time Theo had been trying to organize some bank statements, and had innocuously asked you if you’d bought something from a certain store when he couldn’t remember having made the purchase himself. You immediately froze up at the question, staring with a deer-in-headlights expression. You had timidly apologized, looking meek and like you were playing dead, to protect yourself, Theo had realized.

Or that time when you were going to a group get-together at a friend’s house and assured him there’d be no other men there.

Or when you couldn’t find your house key before work and panicked.

“I’m working from home today anyways,” Theo had reassured confusedly. “I can just let you in when you get back. I’ll be here all day.”

“You won’t lock me out?” You had asked, genuinely bewildered.

Theo hadn’t known how to respond to that.

But when you had accidentally been decked in the mosh pit at a punk show and rushed home in hysterics, Theo opening the door at your frantic knocking and finding you in the middle of a panic attack, he knew he needed to find out the truth. While trying to calm you down from the attack, you accidentally called Theo the wrong name, pleading with him to not hurt you further.

Theodore’s lips thinned and the blood drained from his face as his suspicions were only solidified. “I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N. Did somebody use to hurt you?”

You had nodded shakily, still beside yourself with anxiety. Theodore skimmed his thumb across the knuckles of your hand, shushing you gently.

“It’s alright, darling. What’s the bastard’s name?”

You mumbled it quietly, your sobs slowing to just shuddering breaths. Theodore had nodded in response, making a mental note to kill the motherfucker at his earliest convenience.

He helped you up from your spot, collapsed on the floor in the entryway of your home, and led you over to the couch, where he hastily tucked a fluffy blanket around you and all but sprinted to the kitchen to make tea. He came back with a warm mug and an ice pack for you, sitting down on the couch near you—but not next to you, so that you wouldn’t feel trapped or boxed in.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your tea before tugging him over to your spot, untucking part of the blanket so he could climb under it. Theodore wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest and sighing comfortably. He kissed the top of your head and whispered in your ear,

“I swear I’ll never lay a hand on you, darling. I promise.”

#harry potter #hp #fuck jkr #hp x male reader #x male reader #gay #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x male reader #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott #x reader #this one was pretty heavy to write ngl #hit a little too close to home #x gn reader #hp x gn reader #gn reader

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wardenparker · 11 months

Text

For Protection

Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit Word Count: 16.1k Warnings: Cursing, food, references to unplanned pregnancy, past pregnancy, mentions of lost loved ones/family, some talk about bodily functions (nothing weird, I promise), angst, comfort, so much yearning, flirting, fingering. Joel calling his daughter ‘baby girl’ gets its own warning. Summary: The chance to stop and rest while on the road with Joel, Ellie, and baby Caroline ends up giving you and Joel a chance to talk about some things that have been building up again since you reunited in Lake City. Notes: The third part of the “For” series is here, my loves! We just absolutely love this little found family and were so excited to visit them again. And it happily coincided with a chance to see my fairy goddaughter again, who is the real-life Caroline that I love and adore. Big love and hugs to @becsworld for finding it absolutely silly that I named a character in a story after her baby girl 💗

Also in the series: For Her For Pleasure

“Oh god.” The dramatic gagging tears Joel’s eyes off the road to the rear view mirror. Finding Ellie slapping her hand over her nose and turning green. “I think she shit again.” She groans “Why do babies shit so much?”

He rolls his eyes, nose twitching as the first waft of the pungent aroma of baby shit works its way to the front of the car. The very proof needed that Caroline had indeed shit herself and it was going to be a foul diaper. “Babies shit. They eat, sleep, cry and shit.” He grunts, looking back at the road and for a safe place to pull off for a quick pit stop. It was an opportunity to scout for more gas as well. “That’s all teenagers seem to do too.”

"I won't make you change her diaper this time, El." You chuckle from where you are twisted slightly in the front seat, wiggling your finger in Caroline's mighty grip to make her coo and giggle. Joel had insisted that Ellie learn a few basics of taking care of the baby before the four of you set out on the road together and that included changing diapers. And while she had learned, she certainly hadn't been happy about it.

“God, it’s so gross.” Ellie whines. “I’m rolling down the window.” She huffs, trying to wiggle closer to the window to reach the button but Joel presses the locks.

“No.” He grunts. “We’re stopping.”

There's the fading remnants of a big food mart up ahead. One of the ones that has a gas station in the side parking lot, and you know you'll at least find a counter inside that you can spread Caroline's blanket out on to turn it into a changing station. "Do you think we could go inside?" It doesn't look too decrepit. There might even be some kind of food or supplies left if you dig hard enough.

“Let me check it out first.” Joel won’t deny you the opportunity to try to scavenge for supplies but he has become over cautious with where he lets you go with Caroline in tow.

"We'll stay put and stink up the car while you scout." That draws a groan from Ellie, but you just shake your head and laugh. It had been a miracle to get the car in the first place – trading the house you had renovated and lived in to two families who had pooled their resources to make it a fair trade. Now they have a home, and you have a car with a trunk full of gear and some food.

“Just a quick look.” The car pulls to a stop and Joel throws it in park. Anxious eyes find yours and he pulls the gun out of the holster on his hip to hand to you. “Get behind the wheel.” He reminds you. The same order that has been drilled into your head every time a stop happens and he is out of sight. He pops the trunk to retrieve the rifle, not wanting to stash it in the backseat with the kids.

"I got it," you promise him, climbing over things to get into the driver's seat. There are rules that need to be followed out here and you and Ellie both had promised Joel that what he said was law while you were traveling.

“Good girl.” He grunts, quickly walking back to grab the rifle and checks to make sure that it is properly loaded, even though he had checked it just this morning.

"These places used to be so much fun to come to when I was a kid." Sometimes when it's just you and Ellie, you slip into this odd sort of nostalgia and end up telling her odd things about the past. "My mom would make a whole day out of it. We would come up to the store like this near us in the late morning and eat all the samples they were handing out all over the store for our lunch."

"Samples?" Ellie tilts her head and then her eyes widen when she understands what you are meaning. "They gave away free food!" She exclaims, leaning forward to both escape the noxious fumes and to talk to you. "That's so cool. I bet it was good food too!"

“Sometimes it was. Sometimes it was weird. But that’s why you had to try it and find out.” Even while you’re talking, you keep your eyes on the door where Joel disappeared. The fact that he goes and does these sweeps without Ellie for back up drives you insane, but there’s nothing you can really do about it. Not when he reminds you quietly how important she is and turns those great big brown eyes on you.

“He’ll be okay.” Ellie assures you, her own eyes on the door and tense. It’s better now that you and the baby are with them, she feels safer, but there’s still a whole lot of shit to deal with. “He’s old, but he’s fucking tough.”

“I know he is. That doesn’t stop me from worrying though.” That’s your child’s father in there, and you tell yourself that that is why you care so much.

“I know.” Ellie looks over at Caroline as the first sound of unhappiness starts to wind up from the baby. “Oh shit, he needs to hurry.”

“You know she always calms down.” The first time Ellie had borne witness to a long crying spell she acted like it was the end of the world, which honestly you could understand. It was only the first time. But sweet little Caroline always calms down eventually, and this one makes sense as you reach your hand out to her again to see if you can distract her with finger puppets. “You’d be upset too if you were sitting in your own waste.”

“I know.” Twisting in her seat, Ellie puffs up her cheeks and crosses her eyes. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” She chants softly, scrunching up her nose when Caroline pauses mid-squawk to stare at her. It might be temporary, but it was a good distraction from waiting for Joel. The kid was cute, when she wasn’t covered in baby shit.

“She really likes you.” Caroline has a sort of fascination with Ellie that you can’t place, which has resulted in some very sweet – if temporary – moments between them. She will look at the older girl with absolute awe sometimes and just start giggling happily, leading the teen to ask once if it was possible the baby was plotting her murder.

“She’s really cool.” Ellie admits, grinning when Caroline reaches for her and squeals happily. Her hand immediately is grabbed by the younger girl and she tugs like all babies do. “For a poop machine.”

You’re laughing softly when Joel appears at the door of the large store again and waves to give you the all clear. “Looks like we’re okay,” you tell Ellie before turning back to make sure Caroline is all set. “Come on, baby girl,” you coo at her, having picked up the nickname from Joel. “Daddy says it’s safe inside, so let’s go get you changed.”

Joel watches as you take the baby out of the car seat he had stolen from an abandoned car and put her in the basket you would carry her in. He had been thinking about trying to find one of those things that strap a kid to your chest. That might be easier and leave everyone with two hands to use. “There’s still some stuff in here.” He assures you. “Doors are still good. Maybe we can camp early tonight.”

“That would be nice.” Four walls to sleep inside of again would definitely be a trade up. You could roll out the sleeping bags and actually stretch out instead of sleeping cramped in the car. “What kind of supplies are still hanging around?”

“Some that I think you’re going to be very happy about.” Joel chuckles as he motions to the box that is on the ground just off to the side. Disposable diapers. He had done a quick sweep of the store, but that aisle had caught his attention. There was also one case of baby wipes left, although they were probably no good.

“Holy shit.” Your appreciative groan is very real. Cloth diapers on the road are not an ideal situation by any means. “I could kiss you for finding those.”

Ellie snorts, smirking. “Kissing got you into this situation.” She reminds you, making Joel roll his eyes.

“Just for that, you change her.” He grumbles at the teenager, trying to ignore the urge to collect on that kiss.

“I’ll change her.” The way Ellie looks so dismayed at being tasked with the job practically has you giggling. “You should watch though, Ellie. So I can show you how these diapers work.”

Joel does chuckle, lifting his brows when Ellie swings a glare towards him and just waits her out as she huffs.

The agreement that all three grown people should know how to take care of the baby’s basic needs has caused no end of huffing and puffing from Ellie, but still she always learns. She’s aces at feeding the little girl, always good for some play time, and likes to tell the baby stories that she’s read in old books or comic books. In another life – the life before this one – she would have made an amazing big sister. Even in this world, she’s a damn good surrogate for that role.

When you pick Caroline up from the basket, Joel takes his rifle off his shoulder and shoves it into Ellie’s hands. “I’ll do it.” He volunteers, having plenty of experience with dirty diapers before the Outbreak. He had raised Sarah by himself, with Tommy lending a hand sometimes.

“Sure.” You have intentionally encouraged them to bond – Joel and his daughter – and now you hand her over without a fuss. She waves her little fists in the air as if cheering to find her daddy in view again, then promptly remembers she has a full diaper and the terrible tremble of her chin starts all over again. It’s wails this time instead of squawks, and you tut in sympathy as Joel carries her over to an empty counter to get her cleaned up.

“It’s okay, baby girl.” He coos softly, chortling at her with a soft smile on his normally serious face. It’s hard not to lower his guard around this baby, his baby. “We’re going to get you cleaned up,” he looks over his shoulder. “Open up the diapers and see if those wipes haven’t dried out, will you?” He asks, concentrating on unwrapping Caroline from her little sleeper and chuckling when she kicks a foot. “I know, I know. We’ll have you changed in no time.”

One of the diapers is pulled free of the package easily and you set it next to him, but frown when you pry open the package of wipes. “These are goners,” you tell him, obvious disappointment lacing your frown. “That would have been too good to be true.”

“That’s alright.” Joel tuts and shakes his head. “I’ll just set up a soaking bucket like we’ve been doing.”

“I’ll do it.” There is a rhythm to things already. Just a couple of weeks together and so far you haven’t wanted to kill each other or yell or disagreed on the way things should be done. It’s given you…thoughts that absolutely won’t go away. Butterflies in your belly, a spike in your heart rate, sweaty palms from nerves that make no sense because what do you have to be nervous about? You’ve literally already had this man’s baby. It doesn’t get more intimate than that. But still you feel like a schoolgirl half the time you look at him.

“Thanks.” He nods and keeps his eye on Caroline as he unpins her diaper, well aware that the squirming baby could work her way off the counter. Or spray him with a geyser of urine. The myth that only boys sprayed like a water hose was well dispelled when he was a young father.

It takes a little coordination, but Caroline gets changed with only a small amount of fuss, and soon she’s a happily babbling little baby again with no concept of the dangers of the world or the fact that you’ll be sleeping in an abandoned box store tonight. “Next time she cries it will be for dinner,” you predict, unable to keep the little smile of your face at the sight of Joel holding your little girl.

“That’s okay. Maybe we can find something to make a carrier for her.” Joel murmurs, enjoying the cuddliness of his daughter for another moment before she has to go back in the basket.

“That would be good.” It would be much easier to carry her, certainly. “Maybe we can go take a closer look around while she’s not being fussy?”

“Yeah.” Holding out his hand for the rifle, Joel sends Ellie a pointed look. “Stay close by.” He knows the girl wants to go scout for her own supplies, but she also has a tendency to find trouble. Joel’s anxiety had more than tripled since leaving your old community, aware of how vulnerable all of you are out here with the baby.

It’s a slow and steady pace, working through this empty store. There are a few things left but they tended to be punctured or broken containers so the items were already spoiled. You’re feeling like this pit stop might be a waste except for the diapers when the group of you come across the stairs that lead up to the store offices. “It’s worth a look,” you suggest to Joel with a shrug, knowing that he would be the one to go up there first. The stairs are fine, but if there’s a clicker or a raider up there, he won’t want either of the kids anywhere near that.

His flashlight shines on the steps before he places his foot, tilting up so he can see in front of him and then back down again. Slowly climbing, he’d rather take his time than alert anything that might be up there. He looks over his shoulder at you when he gets to the top and then adjusts his grip on the handgun he had traded for the rifle. It was better in close quarters like this.

Ellie reaches back, one hand on your shoulder where Caroline is currently resting, as Joel disappears out of sight. For her, with the way she is coming to feel about Joel even unconsciously, it is now her job to make sure you and the baby are safe. The rifle is in her hands and she is the protector, watching over people who need it. It makes her stand up a little taller. Hold her chin a little higher. And you have that thought again about what a wonderful big sister she would have made.

The door is closed, making Joel pause for a moment before reaching for it. Feeling the handle turn easily, the door creaks open and the sight has Joel jumping back, startled.

The dried husk of an infected, separated from its group, is plastered to two of the walls, limbs akimbo and mouth open in the impression of a blood-curdling scream. Whoever had been hiding in here hadn’t been discovered for a very, very long time, and neither had their stash. Once Joel can tear his eyes off of the figure in front of him, his light sweeps the room and falls upon stacks and stacks of cans, bottles, and boxes. A small mountain of supplies has been sitting untouched just waiting for no one — until now.

Grimacing, Joel steps towards the body and checks with the barrel of the gun just to make sure that nothing moves or sprouts. When nothing does, he’s satisfied and steps back outside the door. “There’s a stash up here.” He tells you. “And a body. It’s dried out.”

That has Ellie on the move instantly, and you carefully climb the steps behind her with Caroline valiantly fighting sleep on your shoulder. This was definitely an office – there’s a desk and faded bullshit corporate motivational posters peeling off the walls to prove it – and whoever had been here had obviously intended to stay. “Holy shit is that bottled water?” You gasp, finding your eyes drawn to the bottom of the pyramid of packages.

“It is.” Joel chuckles and shakes his head. “It was a good idea. Staking out a store and keeping a large portion of the supplies for themselves.”

“It would have been a good idea,” Ellie snorts, barely inches away from the body on the wall. “If they hadn’t gotten themselves fungi-fied.”

Joel rolls his eyes, but his lips curve up in a quick smirk. “Let’s see what they have stored up here and hopefully have ourselves a good meal tonight.” The idea of carrying everything downstairs makes him groan, but more supplies are more supplies.

Boxes of beans, lentils, and rice come down the stairs. Jars of popcorn and bottles of soy sauce and honey. Salt, sugar, vinegar, even bottles of real maple syrup. There is powdered milk and even bottles of wine along with the water. Hand sanitizer and cleaning products. More than they could possibly fit into the car. When it’s all piled up in front of you, you almost can’t even laugh in amazement. “That guy really was just going to live his whole life in that office if he could.”

“Looks like.” Joel snorts and shakes his head. “Too bad he didn’t stock up on tampons.”

Ellie has clearly already thought of that and makes a grumbling sound, but you nudge her with your elbow. “You should find this place’s bathroom,” you suggest to the teen. “See if maybe the coin op machines or supply cabinets still have anything in them. Sometimes public bathrooms had little vending machines for tampons or pads.” They usually weren’t the best quality, but something is always better than nothing.

“Heyoooo.” Ellie smirks and nods. “I’m on it.” She grabs her bag, making sure her gun is in it and darts off into the darkness.

******

“We’re not going to be able to take all this with us.” The stash is honestly pretty impressive, and you stand next to the old Customer Service Counter where everything is piled with one hand on Caroline in her basket as she naps. “We should pick out the stuff that will be the best to use on the road and use some of the other stuff while we’re in one place.” Talking business - being practical - it helps you focus. There’s less time to get lost in Joel’s endless brown eyes if you’re planning three steps ahead.

“Diapers come with us.” Joel huffs. “And all the powdered milk. Maybe–” he scratches his chin. “Do you think they have bottles here? At least one or two? Or those sippy cups?”

“I can take a closer look at the non-perishable aisles.” On the road it’s a lot harder to feed Caroline anything besides the obvious times you breastfeed, and the milk will be invaluable. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s been in here in a long time so I don’t think we should have trouble tonight.”

“No, we shouldn’t.” Joel nods. “Why don’t I go check for gas?” He asks. “I can take the baby with me.”

“If you’re sure.” You never say no to him wanting to spend time with Caroline, and you keep your deeply felt competency kink to a damn minimum with just a smile. Joel doing chores and being a dad only reinforces what you’ve had to admit to yourself over these last few weeks – that you did, in fact, fall in love with him that night a year and a half ago. And that it may have faded a little, but it came screaming back the second he reappeared in your life.

“Course I’m sure.” He sends you a small wink and puts the gun back in the holster so he can take the basket. “Go do some shoppin’, I’ve got our baby girl, honey.” If it weren’t for the fact that there hasn’t been power, or employees, in this store he could have passed for any husband encouraging his wife to have a break from the baby.

The fucking mess of a cliché you become when he does something so normal and so sweet is why you’re rooted to the spot gazing longingly at the door when Ellie comes back from exploring the bathrooms with her backpack stuffed fuller than it was before. “Found a lot of tampons and pads.” She crows happily, tossing her bag down with slight relief. It’s a pain to bleed through shit when there’s nothing to put in her panties but ripped up clothes. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Oh—um—Joel took Caroline to go scout for gas.” You snap back to reality from your little floating fantasy of being a normal family in normal times and offer Ellie a smile. “I’m gonna go look for bottles or sippy cups or whatever else we can find. You wanna come?”

“Sure.” She shrugs slightly and then grins at you. “So were you daydreaming about baby daddy?” She coos teasingly. Even if she doesn’t understand what you see in Joel – he’s a man, ewww – she recognizes the looks you sometimes get when you think no one is paying attention.

Joel and Ellie might have a weird, sarcastic, father-daughter thing going on without either of them admitting it, but your own relationship with Ellie is a lot easier. You’re fairly comfortable together. Laugh together. And occasionally tease each other about girly shit to boot. “What if I was?” You ask her, side-eyeing the teen as you head for the baby supply aisle. “You gonna tell on me?”

“Might.” She jokes, knocking into your shoulder playfully. “Nahhhh, I’m not a snitch.” She laughs at her own comment and points her flashlight around. “Do you— do you regret it?” She asks after a moment. “Having her and not knowing if you would ever see him again? I mean, I know you did see him again, but….before?”

“No.” It’s a surprisingly easy answer for you, considering everything that raising a child in this new world entails, but you shake your head. “I was upset a lot when I was pregnant. Blaming him…or missing him and pretending it was blame. But the second she was born I knew that what he’d actually given me was a gift. Not something to hold a grudge over or regret.”

For a teenager, Ellie is surprisingly introspective. “It’s like you got to keep a piece of a single good moment?” She asks. “That’s something that’s rare.”

“That’s exactly it.” Knocking Ellie’s shoulder in turn gets her to smile again. “She’s my little reminder to remember the good times when things are hard.”

“Yeah.” She never met her mother, never even knew her name, and she frowns. Thinking about what Marlene had told her during those precious few hours before she was handed off to Joel. “She’s cool. And funny when she makes herself laugh.”

“And you’ve been a huge help in taking care of her.” It may not be her favorite thing, but she does a good job at it and it shows in her pride. “Didn’t think you’d ever get to be a big sister, did you?”

“Nahhh.” She shakes her head. “They kept the little kids separate from us in the FEDRA school.”

“And now look at you. An old pro after just a couple of weeks.” The demand for baby supplies when this store was last looted seems to have been small, thank god, and there are even some packages with old school basic baby toys like teething keys and some packs of things like toddler socks and baby bibs - things you never thought you would find anywhere. There is a whole one sippy cup remaining intact on the shelf and you could practically cheer over it.

“That’s a cool little cup.” Ellie takes the package from you and examines it. “So she doesn’t spill anything, right?”

“Exactly.” You nod, checking the shelves over for anything you might have missed. “All that powdered milk that Joel found in the office is going to be great for her.”

“That’s cool.” Food for Caroline is important, even Ellie can understand that. “I can’t remember the last time I had milk.”

“Do you want to have a sip the next time I make some up for the baby?” It won’t be the same, obviously, but you’re with Ellie. You can’t remember the last time you had a glass of cold milk. It sounds like the most amazing thing in the world right now.

“No, no, you save that for her.” Ellie knows how precious that can be and how much Caroline will rely on it. “I’m good. Hey–” she grins at you. “You can use that bottled water to make up the milk for her.”

“Yes we can.” And you cannot say what a relief it is that you won’t have to figure out how to get water and boil it clean before being able to make milk. “Between me and the boxes of powder, we should be able to keep her fed and happy until we get to Jackson.” Of course her diet is lacking, but it’s not like you could cook her fresh applesauce on the road or have access to bananas or puréed baby food of any kind. As soon as you get settled again, you’re restarting your garden with all the seeds and saplings you packed before you left Lake City.

“You know…” She frowns as she thinks about the foods that she had carried down. “I think there are some freeze dried fruits in those boxes.” She tells you. “Could you rehydrate them and feed them to her?”

If there are, we can absolutely do that.” The idea that the stash Joel found is actually a goldmine is a little overwhelming. You knew things would be hard on the road but you don’t want your baby girl to have to suffer for it.

“Cool.” She flashes you a proud grin. “I’ll look for them when we get back over to the pile.” She wants to help and contribute. Looking back at the shelves, she shrugs. “Anything else she might need? I have room in my pack.”

After a moment you almost climb the shelf, seeing something up a little too high for you to grab that might be the biggest find of them all. “If I boost you up, can you grab that box?” You ask Ellie, pointing to the corner of the green and white cardboard just out of reach. Joel would be able to get it with no problem, but he’s outside.

“No problem.” She scoffs at you and hands you the sippy cup back so she can scramble up the shelving with only a curse or two.

She’s a scrappy kid, and in under a minute she’s back down to you with a prize so precious you could cry. “Ellie,” you gasp when she hands it over. “You have no idea how great this is!”

“A breast pump?” She’s bewildered when she reads the box and just looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “What’s so great about that?”

“You know how sometimes your boobs hurt when you’re on your period? Or they just feel a little swollen or sensitive?” The teen nods and you blow out a sigh. “Being able to breastfeed Caroline is fantastic, but it means I always feel full and sore. This way, I can pump some of the milk and put it in water bottles after we empty them. I just have to figure out how to keep it from spoiling.” If that’s at all possible. It’s not like you have a cooler full of ice in the trunk. “And the bottle means that either you or Joel can feed the baby now.”

“That would be cool!” She nods, grinning at the idea. Babies aren’t too bad, especially one that is as cute as Caroline.

“Let’s head back to the front of the store and see if you were right about that fruit.” With your hands full of baby things you are bordering on feeling normal all over again and it’s so soothing. New things for Caroline are rare, and chances to see Joel feeding her might be playing into that domestic fantasy you entertain right before falling asleep at night…and sometimes during the day.

******

Outside, Joel sucks on the hose until the gas hits his tongue and he quickly shoves the hose in the can. Spitting and coughing as Caroline gurgles and squeals in the basket beside him. “So that’s funny, huh baby girl?” He demands roughly, coughing slightly still but he can’t help but grin at her spit bubbling coo. “Fuck, I can’t believe how sweet you are.”

Caroline burbles, waving her hands like she’s at a rock concert and clapping every so often. She’s gotten the hang of single syllables like mah and guh so far and they’re peppered in her little sounds, making Joel chuckle again. “Tell me about it.” He hums, watching the level on the gas can rise. There’s another one nearby and it seems like this place is literally a gold mine for supplies. Which makes Joel sigh in relief.

“Da.” The giggling little mass of limbs and blankets proclaims, putting her hands out straight before wriggling with joy again.

Joel’s heart stops, or maybe it starts. Another layer of the icy protection he had built up around it cracking and falling away with a gasp and nearly physical pain. “Yeah? Da da! That’s me, baby girl.” He swaps the cans over quickly and bundles her up into his arms. “Da!” He prompts.

“Da!” She squeals again, apparently delighted to have gotten her message through to him. She swings both little fists down onto his shoulder with as much force as a seven-month-old can muster. “Da!”

“Oh my godddd.” Joel chokes out, tears springing to his eyes as he holds her close. Remembering Sarah’s first time saying Da and feeling so overwhelmed that he is experiencing it again, already in love with his new daughter. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He rasps. “I promise.”

"Joel?" Leaving Ellie with the stash inside, you had slipped out the front door of the store again to check on him and see if he'd been able to find any gas. Instead you see him sitting with his back to the Volvo with Caroline cradled to his chest and tears streaking down his cheeks. "Oh my god." Instantly you're at his side, only not fully panicking because Caroline is babbling happily at his shoulder. "Is everything okay? What happened?"

“Hey– no, it’s– it’s good.” He shakes his head as you rush over, checking her. He doesn’t blame you, he would do the same. “She– she said Da.” He explains. “And I–” shrugging helplessly, he looks at you as if you should know how he is feeling.

"Oh..." Suddenly you're biting your lip and holding back your own tears as you look at the two of them together. Gently brushing the whisper soft hair on Caroline's head away from her eyes, you end up leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead and sigh. "Sometimes I can't wait until she's old enough to be talking to us and being her own little self, and then other times I can't believe how fast she's already growing."

“I— I can’t believe it.” He reaches out with the hand that isn’t holding Caroline to him. “I never– after Sarah, I never thought I would– I would have this again.” The words come out soft, broken. “And yet– she’s here.”

When he reaches for you you're helpless but to take the invitation, curling against his side so that the three of you are a little pile of cuddles on the ground beside the car. "Thank you for her." Your voice is just as quiet as his is, hushed in the intimacy of the moment. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me."

“It was distinctly my pleasure.” He jokes quietly, chuckling. “I— will keep both of you safe.” He promises again. “On my life.”

"You're not tied to us, Joel. You know that." The deal has been fairly clean cut. Once you get to Jackson, you're going to find your family and set up house again in the new community, so that Caroline can be raised safely if safety is at all possible. What Joel needs to do or not do with Ellie is his own business, and you've never had the guts to ask him what he planned on doing after that was over. Whether or not he would want to come back to make a life with his daughter. With you. "It's always up to you what you want to do."

He frowns and shakes his head. “I am tied to you.” He insists. “This is my daughter and you….” He breaks off. “You…are…important.” He has a fucking hard time admitting his emotions but his eyes are soft and pleading with you to understand. More expressive than his face could ever be.

"You're important to me, too." That is the very least of it, but it's the most you can manage without grappling a whole lot with emotions that you have barely sorted through. "And I'm not saying that I don't want you to be with us." It is, honestly, the biggest thing that you do want. But you know that you're talking about something big and you have absolutely no reason to believe that he's there yet. Or if he ever would be at all. "But I don't want you to feel forced. That's all I'm saying."

“I’m not feeling forced.” If you only understood how often he stays awake all night, watching over you and Caroline. It was bad enough when it was just Ellie, but now… he runs off the pure need to protect all of you.

"Good." You gently tighten your hand around his and nudge closer to him. "Because we're your family. And I've seen enough bullshit families in my life to know that when those people force you into staying around, you end up resenting them." The people you're going out west to find are the best of your biological family, in your opinion. The ones who never forced and always supported. The ones you want to be like now.

Family. He had told Ellie that you keep going for family and that’s what he’s doing. “I could never resent you or Caroline.”

"Ellie asked me if I regretted it." It comes tumbling out of your mouth faster than you can stop yourself, and you end up hiding your face from him so he can't see that feeling in your eyes. "But I don't. I can't. Not when that night gave us her."

“I don’t regret it either.” Joel hums, smirking and rolling his eyes. “But I also didn’t grow her for months and have to push her out of my body.” He regrets not being there, no knowing even if there was no way he could have known. He had thought about taking you back to Boston if you hadn’t adamantly said you were going west. “If it had happened before the Outbreak….” He shrugs. “Who knows what we would have done. Don’t think sleeping in a car counts as livin’ together.”

"If this was before the Outbreak, my father would have had you proposing at gunpoint." The visual makes you shake your head, laughing ruefully as you remember insisting that Joel put down his gun while you both stripped to prove you weren't infected the night you met.

“There are worse ways to end up married.” He chuckles and rubs Caroline’s back. “We should get set up for the night. We can load all the supplies up in the morning. Even make a fire in the building once we get it locked down.” He smirks. “I think there were some mattresses we could lay out.”

"A mattress." You groan happily and push yourself back to your feet before taking Caroline from him so that he can stand as well. After sleeping in a car, even a mattress on concrete sounds amazing. "Did you find enough gas?"

“Two cans worth.” Joel nods. “And there might be more, but I got distracted.”

"She's a cute little distraction." Cute, and grasping at your earlobes like they're pull toys. "Come on, baby girl. Let's let Da finish up and I'll feed you dinner?" Shooting Joel an excited grin, you shift the baby up on your arms. "You'll never believe what Ellie and I found. An untouched breast pump."

“Really?” He arches a brow in surprise. “That’s amazing, although I’ll miss watching you feed her.” He hums. You had allowed him to watch, especially at night, and it was still breathtakingly gorgeous. Even if the surroundings are crumbling and moldering, you with his daughter at your breast looks like Madonna and Child to him.

"You'll just have to be horny while I pump instead," you tease, knowing that that was not at all the primary reason for letting Joel in on the intimacy of Caroline's feedings. But still, you're in a good enough mood to tease him about it.

He grunts, not willing to voice the small feeling of guilt at how accurate that will be. It’s been a long goddamn time and he hasn’t tried to make any overtures towards you. “I’ll keep it in my pants.” He promises, smirking slightly.

"That would be a first for us." He hands you the baby's basket and you toss him a wink like he had given you earlier. "I'm gonna go back inside. You coming with me or are you gonna work on getting more gas before you lose the light?" He can always go back to it in the morning, but you know that Joel sometimes overprepares with good reason.

“Have the kid make a fire and I’ll bring in the sleeping bags as soon as I’m done.” He decides. “We’ll block the door and then sleep peacefully.”

"Sounds like a plan." Peaceful sleep hasn't happened since leaving Lake City, so that part of the plan sounds absolutely amazing.

Once he’s watched you walk with Caroline back into the store, Joel gets back to work. There are three other cars to check and he wants to strap as many cans of gas to the trunk as he can.

******

By the time he comes back inside things are looking more organized and Ellie has a fire going inside of a stone lawn decor oddity and you have some supplies laid out to put together a dinner for the three of you. There was a working kitchen in this store at one point – they must have sold pre-prepared foods – and you managed to find a decently sized saucepan and big metal spoon to essentially just have a functional stew pot. These are definitely things that can come with you to cook over an open fire on the road.

The doors shut behind him, Joel starts to push the large shelves that were nearby in front of them. To keep prying eyes out as well as to provide a barrier against anyone who might come during the night. He had hidden the gas and made the car look like it was one of the others in the parking lot.

"Beans and rice for dinner." You inform him from across the front of the store. Ellie had jumped up to help him with the shelves but Joel's seemingly inhuman strength got the job done before she could get to him. "I wonder if that popcorn still has any pep in it. Ellie says she's never had it before."

“Wouldn’t doubt that.” Joel hums. “I know I saw some hot sauce in the supplies but were there Tums?” He asks, lifting a brow. Getting older sucks and he knows he doesn’t want to stay up all night with heartburn.

"In my backpack." There wasn't a huge amount to be had, but what there is is precious. Heartburn had been the bane of your existence during pregnancy. "Hot sauce makes everything better."

“Everything.” He chuckles. “Especially when it’s Ellie’s turn to warm up food.” He smirks when the teenager stops poking the fire to glare at him.

Caroline seems to protest on Ellie's behalf and you chuckle, looking over at her basket to see her pouting at you heavily in that way that implies crying is imminent. "Uh oh," you hum, reaching for the baby. "I think it's dinner time for this one before it is for us." Typically you just cover yourself when you need to feed her, not wanting to make Ellie uncomfortable or even incur that conversation. This time you push up onto your feet and coo at your baby before offering the other two a smile. "I'm going to take a little stroll around the store while she eats. Pretend it's just a normal ass shopping trip."

“I’ll cook.” Joel nods, handing you the flashlight and leaning down to kiss the baby before he moves away reluctantly. He would walk with you if he could but everyone needs to eat and tonight will be a hearty meal.

"I can do it." Ellie insists, looking between the two of you like she's sure there's some kind of adult code going on that she doesn't quite understand. "It's just making sure it doesn't boil over, right? That's easy as fuck."

He’s doubtful but as he stares at her long enough for her to roll her eyes and sigh like all dramatic teens do. “Come on, man.” She huffs and he rolls his own eyes.

“Fine, but if you burn it, you eat it all.” He warns her.

The soft smile you aim at Ellie when Joel’s back is turned is for her eyes only, and you nod a small thanks to her before stepping away. She understands on a basic level, even if she doesn’t get why you feel so strongly about Joel, and you have to wonder if she’s had someone special to her already. Or worse, if she had lost them.

He tells himself that it’s just to make a final check of the building. Make sure there’s nothing he’s missed. Or hold the flashlight he’s already taken back and is holding steady as the two of you start to walk. “Feels like we should have a shopping cart.” Joel jokes, filling the silence as Caroline suckles hungrily.

“Just a little Sunday shopping trip for the family.” The slow and steady stroll is positively intimate, even though you don’t reach for his hand or anything like that. You’re focused on not jostling Caroline too much, even though she likes when you move around during meal time. “This place is huge, it’s nice for a walk.”

“It is.” Joel nods and imagines what that might look like before the outbreak. “When Sarah was younger, didn’t have much money. So it was about buying the most I could with what I had. Sunday was about my only day off.”

“What did you do?” You ask, realizing that because careers don’t much matter anymore, you don’t actually know what he used to do for work.

“Contractor.” Joel shakes his head. “By the end, I had my own business. Building a house that same damn day everything came crashing down. Never finished it.” Ironic that he’s nostalgic over a house he had been cursing all that day. Maybe because if he had finished it, it would have meant the world wouldn’t have fucking burned and Sarah would have been right beside him still. Or married and made him the grandpa Ellie keeps teasing him that he is.

“I was right to figure you for a hands on kind of guy.” Thoughts of him while you were apart had gone all kinds of ways, but the image of Joel as someone who worked hard and built things himself was always your favorite. He had been meticulous in the way you were together and you couldn’t see him being anything else in his work.

He chuckles and looks over at you with a sideways grin. “Have that look, huh?” He teases, knowing that he looks his age, and god knows he feels it.

“For a long time, my only memories of you were very hands-on,” you remind him with a smirk.

“Apparently I did a very thorough job.” He huffs with an ironic smile, reaching over to caress Caroline’s head as she eats. “The greedy little trophy is right here.”

A rueful laugh escapes your lips as you shake your head, smiling down at her regardless. “My nipples will never be the same.”

“They were nice nipples from my recollection.” Joel hums, thinking about that one night you had together.

“You seemed to be a fan.” When you laugh it’s more of a huff, and you peak down at Caroline again to see she’s starting to slow down. “Now they have a big stamp on them that says ‘Property of Miss Caroline Miller’, don’t they, baby?”

“What can I say? Imma guy.” He jokes, shrugging his shoulders. “I think it’s ingrained in our DNA.”

“Oh believe me, I’m not upset about it in the least.” Looking up at him beside you, you nearly sigh – that dreamy feeling in your chest coming back full force. “Not at all.”

He catches the look, his own heart clenching and flexing under the force of it. Knowing that this is his – to keep and protect – and it is something that scares him down to his very marrow. You, the baby, Ellie, all of you counting on him. Caroline gurgles, pulling your nipple out of her mouth and Joel immediately stops, setting the flashlight down and reaching for her. “I’ll hold her. Burp her.”

“Here.” The cloth you had on your shoulder is just a length of ripped sheet from your old house, but when it’s folded up it makes a decent burping cloth and you put it on Joel’s shoulder instead so you can rearrange your clothes once he takes the baby. It’s perfunctory, but these are the moments of intimacy that you have with him now. All revolving around your daughter.

“Thanks honey.” Joel smiles as he hoists his daughter up onto his shoulder. “She likes to soak me. I think she’s getting me back for not helping you when you were carryin’ her or pushin’ her out.”

“You know I don’t begrudge you for that,” you tell him quietly, picking up the flashlight after you straighten yourself out. “It’s not something you have to beat yourself up for, Joel. You didn’t know.”

“I wish I was there.” He pats Caroline’s back with a steady, firm hand and rubs it every third pat. He had used the same pattern with Sarah when she was a baby. “I woulda been there for everything.”

“If I had known how to tell you, I would have.” Short of traveling to Boston and probably being shot for walking up to the gates, there was nothing you could have done. It’s not like there is a mail service anymore. “I’m just…I’m glad you’re here now. That you get to be with her.”

“Me too, honey.” Joel continues to burp the baby until there is a loud belch that comes bursting out and he chuckles. “She’s gassy tonight.”

“Always an elegant little princess.” You laugh right along with him, obviously not meaning a word of it.

“We all will be after the beans and rice.” He jokes, winking at you and transferring her in the cradle of his arms so she can look up at him sleepily.

“And then we’ll all be instantly sleepy, just like that.” It isn’t the same as it used to be. A full belly doesn’t automatically mean relaxation and security. But a full belly is also rare enough that you’re looking forward to what you once would have considered a sparse meal. “At least we won’t be hotboxing the car tonight,” you observe with a laugh.

“Thank god.” Joel rolls his eyes. “Ellie is the worst, I swear to Christ, that kid could lay out an elephant.”

“Whoever said teenage girls were delicate must never have spent any time around actual teenage girls.” The two of you start walking again, lulling the baby into contentment in Joel’s arms as you go. “So…we should be out of Illinois tomorrow morning. We’re making good time.”

“Maybe we can stay another day?” Joel poses, looking over at you to see what you think. “It was late when we got here. Tomorrow we can reassess and see what all we can squeeze into the car.” It’s also another day with solid four walls around you and the girls, and enough food to fill your bellies to bursting. “Wash clothes, rest.”

“Sounds positively domestic.” And like a dearly needed rest, so you nod. “Another day here will give us good rest and then we can make a push on the road the day after. Getting to Jackson will just seem like a family road trip.”

He has his doubts that it will be that easy, but he nods. “Maybe we’ll actually all get a good night's sleep.”

“We’ll sleep and snack on popcorn and pack up the car. Ellie can tell us terrible jokes and the baby can stretch her legs with plenty of space to crawl. It…actually it sounds like exactly what we need.” And if you maybe take some time tomorrow to sneak away to read, that will be entirely while Caroline is napping. Joel still doesn’t know that you stole the copy of Lady Chatterly’s Lover that directly led to your affair, but it’s in the bottom of your backpack and reading it is now a lot more sentimental than arousing.

“I’ll get those mattresses set up when we get back.” He had brought the sleeping bags in and wishes that there was a playpen in the store for Caroline. “What do you think about us sharing?” He ventures. “Putting the baby between us rather than in the basket.”

“You asking to sleep with me, Joel Miller?” It’s playful. Teasing. Because there’s honestly nothing more that you want in the world – that is attainable at least – than to sleep next to this man again.

“This time is slightly different than the last time.” He retorts, just as playfully. “But yes. Always yes.”

“The answer is also always yes.” You admit quietly, looking down at your hands so he doesn’t see anything too deep or hopeful in your eyes.

The silence between you draws out, purposeful and full of silent, unspoken words. Words that Joel isn’t the best at. “Don’t know how you could be even more beautiful today than in my memory.” Joel speaks after a moment. “But you are.”

Fully stopped on one end of the store, you soften completely under that kind of praise and swallow down the words you want to say immediately. Joel isn’t the kind of guy you just dump that on, no matter what the circumstance. “Probably has more to do with the whole giving birth to your child thing.” You joke weakly, though your heart has started beating double time.

“Not really.” Joel shrugs, wondering if you weren’t happy with the compliment. He knows he’s bad with women. He only had to look at his relationship with Sarah’s mom and Tess.

“No?” That could be taken a lot of different ways, but you’re trying not to get your hopes up. Or to take it badly, since he had just called you beautiful.

“Nahhh.” He looks down at the life that you created together and smiles. “She looks just like you.” He compliments. “Thank god. Because you are– I’m surprised you didn’t have men sniffing around you, wantin’ to get close to you.”

“I had been living with all women,” you remind him, flustering under his gaze. “It just so happened that the first guy I stumbled across in the wilds happened to be the sexiest guy I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Yeah but even pregnant, I’m sure you had men wanting to be the one to help you.” He knows he would have been fiercely protective over you if he had been around.

He isn’t wrong, necessarily. Your pregnancy had attracted plenty of men who wanted to feel important or masculine. Or who thought you might be just that easy. Of course, it had also pushed away just as many potential partners. But it didn’t matter. You hadn’t been looking for one in the first place. “They weren’t you,” you murmur, barely able to look him in the face.

“I’m not–” Joel shakes his head and hates telling you this. But he’s never shied away from what he is. “I’m not a good man, honey.” He admits quietly, looking down at the innocent face of his daughter. “Things I’ve done…you’d hate me for.”

"You've survived." No one in this world is actually good anymore. It's not how things operate anymore. Goodness gets you infected or killed or taken advantage of. The fact that you had trusted Joel a year and a half ago had gotten you knocked up – and to some people that might have been horrible, or they might have thought he did it on purpose, as insane an accusation as that would be considering he did actually pull out. But goodness like it used to be? It can get you killed. "I don't expect anything from you, you know that." You shake your head sadly. "But I know you wouldn't hurt me, and you wouldn't hurt Caroline. Hell, look what you're doing for Ellie. I just—" It's so much to wrap your head around, and you shove your free hand in your pocket, letting the other shift on the flashlight nervously. "I can't help the way I feel, Joel."

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” He admits, to you and to himself. He had disappointed Tess, not even able to say anything at the end. Too closed off, too far into his own misery to admit that he had loved her. He had, in his way. But it was different from the way he loves you, loves Caroline. Even Ellie, although he hadn’t quite admitted that to himself.

“You can’t disappoint me if I have no expectations.” The reminder isn’t meant to be cruel, just realistic. You’ve never asked him for anything, he’s always been willing to give himself to you in whatever way he’s been capable of. Whatever that means to him that he isn’t able to voice, you’ll take it. “One day I might ask you for something, but not yet.” He’s promised to protect you and your daughter. To take care of you and to bring you safely to where you think your family is in Jackson. He promised those things without being asked and you accepted. Which is a very different arrangement. “What I’m never going to do is ask you to feel the same way about me that I do about you. That’s…that’s just unfair. And I don’t want to be unfair to you.”

“Maybe you should.” Joel frowns, looking off into the darkness of the aisle and sighs. “It’s – maybe you should ask me to feel how you feel.”

“No.” He’s still holding Caroline, the little angel having completely drifted off in her daddy’s arms, and you swear you wish you could take her back just so you would have something to do with your hands other than fidget. “Because then I’ll spend the rest of my life – or however long we’re together – wondering if you told me you love me because you actually do or because I asked you to. And that isn’t fair to either of us.”

He closes his eyes, having some idea that you might say that word. He wishes he could open his mouth and say that he does. He would kill for you, he would die for you. He will break his back to make sure you are happy and healthy and he wants to see you smile. To light up when you have a moment where the weariness of the world doesn’t weigh you down. “Okay.” He opens his eyes again and stops you, wanting to look into your eyes. “Then don’t ask me.” He murmurs softly. “Just remember that I’m a hands on kind of guy.”

“And I’m a words type of girl.” It weighs on you more than you expected, to know that your ways of communicating are so different, but it isn’t the end of the world. You never expected to have him in your life at all and now he’s here, so that is still more than you thought you would get from the man who gave you your miracle. “So…now I’ve said it. And I’ll probably say it again. But you never have to. That’s just…it’s better that way.”

Joel reaches out with the hand that isn’t holding Caroline to caress your cheek. Watching as your eyes flutter and he wonders where the man who had seduced you had gone. Not sure what had come over him that one night and wishing he could bring that man back. To give you what you so obviously want right now. Instead he leans in, hunching over so he doesn’t smoosh the baby between you and kisses your forehead.

“Dinner is probably ready.” It isn’t. You know it isn’t and he knows it isn’t, but if you keep standing here you’ll either outright kiss him or maybe cry, and both would be a mistake. This thing with Joel, whatever it is, it’s too big to fuck up by being impulsive. It’s your little girl’s family. It’s her whole future. And all you can hope is that it keeps building, which is why you refuse to chase him away by moving too fast. Fucking laughable considering how you got started, but here you are.

“Gotta make sure she doesn’t burn it.” Joel takes the hint and he turns to start walking back towards the front. “Get little miss sleepy back in her basket for now. Until we are ready for bed.”

“Right. Bed.” It had slipped your mind already that he asked to share a mattress with you, and now you feel even more foolish.

He wonders if you are regretting offering to share the mattress with him. Quietly and slightly bouncing a sleeping Caroline, he is slightly relieved to see that Ellie hadn’t set the area on fire as she comes back into view.

“How’s everything going over here?” Shifting focus entirely, you immediately move to where the baby basket is sitting to uncrumple the blankets so you can tuck Caroline into it.

“It’s, uh, it’s going good.” Ellie assures you, stirring the pot furiously and barely looking up.

“El,” you catch the girl’s attention with a hand on her shoulder and an amused smile. “Let me take over, honey. Maybe you can help Joel bring some mattresses over? We’re thinking of staying here an extra day to rest so comfortable places to sleep are going to be good.”

“We get to stay an extra day?” Ellie’s brows shoot up and she grins. “Cool. I’m going to sleep like a baby.”

“You’re going to cry in the middle of the night to demand cuddles?” You tease, knowing full well that that phrase is not a realistic one.

Ellie shakes her head. “Ewww no.” She huffs. “Joel will grumble and tell me to go back to sleep.”

He huffs like she isn’t completely correct but you just smother a laugh. “By the time you grab those mattresses, this might be ready to go. I’ll stay here and be Mama Bear.”

“Come on brat.” He rolls his eyes but he’s glad to have a moment alone with her. Wanting to check in and make sure she’s okay. It’s been a change to have you and Caroline along and he’s been mindful of that.

“Mattress!” Ellie groans out the word like it’s a victory, which it really is. Sleeping in the car isn’t as hard on her as it is for you or Joel but it’s still not great most of the time.

“We’ll getcha a good one.” Joel grunts as the two of them walk. “You find everything you need here?” He asks, wanting to make sure he shouldn’t hunt for anything in particular.

“Bathroom had the good stuff.” Ellie pronounces proudly, considering it her own personal stash. There’s plenty to share with you, but you don’t need them as often as she does and Joel definitely doesn’t want to hear about that. “And Mom’s gonna make popcorn while we’re here. Big day for Ellie.”

“Mom, huh?” Joel chuckles, actually enjoying the fact that Ellie has a maternal figure. Her language has softened slightly around Caroline. “Too bad we don’t have any butter. Used to coat popcorn in that shit. The more the better.”

“She said it was okay because there was salt in the stash.” Without ever actually having butter, Ellie has no reference for what she’s missing out on and just shrugs. “Whatever. Food is food. Even better if it’s good food.”

“Best popcorn was from the movie theaters.” Joel hums. “Too much popcorn, a huge Coke, a pretty girl. Perfect date.” He side eyes the girl to get her reaction.

Biting her lip, Ellie tries to banish the thoughts of Riley that immediately bubble to the surface and shrugs again, this time to shake off the shadows. So naturally, she puts the focus on embarrassing Joel. “You got two out of the three. Should I disappear for a while so you can make Caroline a big sister?”

“No.” Joel huffs, flushing in the darkness since he’s being called out. “Just goes to show you no matter how careful you are, sex isn’t fool proof.”

“It is if there’s no dicks involved,” she grumbles under her breath, nearly leaping forward to grab at the large mattresses leaning against the wall. They’re far bigger than anything she ever slept on and thicker too, convincing her again what an amazing night’s sleep she’s going to have.

“Two should do it.” Joel grabs the large mattress and grunts at the weight. He’s getting older and shit like this reminds him of that. “Feel good on my fucking back.”

“She doesn’t get to be comfortable?” The eyebrow Ellie raises at him is completely judgmental. “We need three.”

“We’re gonna put the baby between us.” Joel grunts at her, shaking his head. “That way she doesn’t roll off.”

“Oh.” Shouldering the weight of her own large mattress, Ellie side eyes Joel for a second before frowning. “So you guys are okay? It seemed pretty fuckin tense when you came back.”

“It’s alright.” Before Lake City, he would have just ignored her. Just sparing her an annoyed glance that would speak volumes. “Just– adult stuff.”

“Eww.” She has no desire to hear about their sex life. None at all. “‘Nuff said.”

“Not that.” He grunts, uncomfortable about the fact that Ellie assumes he’s sleeping with you. “That hasn’t happened.”

"You don't like her anymore?" Unendingly curious, Ellie finds the questions popping out before she can filter it. It's obvious how you feel about him, even if she doesn't quite get it, you're not very good at masking it.

Joel stops suddenly, making Ellie run forward into the mattress. “What?” He frowns. “No– I– it’s not–” he shakes his head, unable to really discern what to say so he just doesn’t and starts walking again.

"Alright, I didn't mean to make you short circuit, damn." She shakes her head in an unconscious echo of him. "It's your business, I guess. But I am here for everything."

“What would you know about it?” He hisses, annoyed that he doesn’t have a better answer.

"I'm not blind or a moron, Joel," Ellie hits back, never liking when he gets combative with her for just trying to talk. "I know she's completely fucking in love with you for some dumb ass reason."

“Yeah, well, she shouldn’t be.” He tosses back, striking on the issue that bothers him so badly. You had one night with him. One night where he wasn’t really acting like himself, rather he was more like pre-outbreak Joel. Like you were a woman in a bar that he had decided he wanted to try his luck with. Not the miserable piece of shit he is right now.

"I don't think you get to decide that for her, jackass." She huffs, annoyed on your behalf. She sure as fuck hadn't been able to choose who she fell for. It's not like being gay is easy, even if the world has supposedly changed. She's still a target just like every pre-Outbreak story of gay kids she's ever heard or read.

“I’ll – fuck, I’ll disappoint her.” Joel stops again, aware that he doesn’t want this conversation to happen where you could hear. “Or ruin her, fail her.” He’s failed everybody else, including Ellie. If he hadn’t failed her, he would have already had her to the Fireflies.

"Pretty sure the world is already ruined, and doing nothing is worse than trying even if you don't get the ultimate victory or whatever." She knows this is a serious discussion, but she's fucking fourteen years old. Her worldly experience isn't exactly at pace with his. And while most of the time she's glad about that, it does make it hard to be helpful sometimes. Like right now. Ellie shrugs again, shifting the mattress at her back and lowering her voice a little. "If you really thought you couldn't help, or didn't want to help, or take care of her and the baby, you wouldn't have said they should come with us." Ellie reasons. "Something in that thick fucking skull thought you could take better care of her on the road than she could take care of herself in that commune. And that's saying something, considering how nice that place was."

Joel sighs, knowing what she’s saying is right. He had wanted you to come, needed to be able to see you and the baby. To make sure that nothing happened to you. Instead of admitting that to her, he rolls his eyes. “Get moving. We don’t have all night.”

******

When you lay down that night with the flat pillows and patchwork blankets from your house in Lake City, all your focus is on keeping the baby comfortable. It doesn't matter that she’s been out like a light for hours now, it only matters that you don’t let yourself have illusions about sharing space with Joel.

Joel lays down, shucking his jacket and his boots. The store is locked up and the fire is still crackling between the two mattresses. Ellie is already snoring away and he can’t help but watch you as you fuss over the baby. Reaching over the small space, he sets his hand on your hip. “Are you comfortable, honey?” He asks quietly, wondering if there is something else you need.

“Yeah.” Your eyes snap up to his when he touches you, not expecting it at all. “Yeah…I…I’m just…” You’re aching for him, stupidly. For a kiss to anywhere other than your forehead or hand. To be wanted the way you want him. It’s something you’re going to have to continue to tamp down daily. “It’s nice to not be out in the open,” is what you decide to say.

“It is.” Joel can admit that. “I never sleep out there. Not well.” He’s too busy watching you and the girls sleep. Listening for any sounds of infected or worse, humans approaching. “Surprised you aren’t already asleep. She’ll be awake in a few hours, wanting some milk.”

“It’s been a while since we slept in a bed,” you reason, knowing that the real reason you’re fussing is that you’re trying to wait him out. If he passes out first, you can get yourself off quickly in the dark and get rid of this insistent ache between your legs. “I just want her to be comfortable.”

“She’s fine.” Joel frowns and looks between the baby and you. “Would you rather I not sleep here?”

“No,” you shake your head and wonder if you’re going to have to tell him the truth. “That’s not it. I promise. I’m just fidgeting.”

“Then why don’t we put her in the basket?” He might not know why you are fidgeting but he doesn’t want you to not rest. Maybe you’re worried about her moving or getting away or hurt sleeping between the two of you. “I’ve got it right next to me.” Without waiting for you to answer, he sits up and gently picks up his sleeping daughter to transfer her to the basket.

“O—okay.” Worse. This is definitely worse. You swallow thickly and watch him situate Caroline in her basket right above your heads where you can both reach. Now, with nothing between you, he feels unbearably close.

He hums softly as he lays back down, letting the silence fall between you again. It doesn’t seem like you’re too happy but he’s not good at guessing.

“I’m sorry.” You murmur after the silence has stretched too long. The sound of him breathing is like an unintentional taunt, reminding you that he’s close but so very far away. It’ll drive you crazy if you let it. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Earlier, I mean.”

“Why?” He edges closer to you, turning his head to watch you squeeze your eyes closed. “You shouldn’t be sorry. You – you just need to know that I am – that it’s–”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up because I need words and you don’t. And it’s okay that you don’t. But it’s unfair to ask you to use them when they clearly make you uncomfortable.” Whispers in the night won’t wake either of the girls, but your heartbeat feels like it is racing and screaming. “I wouldn’t have even known you were coming on to me that night unless you had been so blunt. And that’s okay.” You know not everyone communicates the same way. He had straight out told you that he communicates with actions, and that’s just who he is. For him, you’ll work hard to make the adjustment. “I’m not upset with you or anything. I promise. I just…am gonna need some time to learn how you communicate. That’s all.”

“No.” Joel closes his eyes and reaches for your hand. “You deserve the words.” His fingers lace through yours and he squeezes gently. “I– Sarah’s mother hurt me. Real bad.” He tells you quietly. “She up and left us when – hell, Sarah was about four months old. Said she didn’t love me, never wanted to be a mom and vanished.”

“That’s…a hell of a time to make that realization.” Your other hand covers his gently, sealing in the warmth and sealing in the signal that you’re listening. “I’m sorry, honey. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Didn’t matter.” He huffs. “I couldn’t wallow in my misery, I had my little girl to raise. So I did.” He sighs softly. “Never really dated much. Didn’t want to bring some woman around that could leave her again.”

“You were protecting her.” From what little he’s said about Sarah since you first learned his oldest daughter’s name, she was his entire world. She was everything that mattered on earth, and just like your sister had been taken from you – the panic of the Outbreak had quickly decided that she didn’t matter. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You took care of her and loved her enough to be her whole family and…and that’s wonderful.”

“After– when she was gone–” the words make him close his eyes, squeezing them shut from the painful ache in his chest. Twenty years gone and he still missed her like it was yesterday. “I fell into a dark place. Real dark.”

“I can only imagine.” He had had Sarah for thirteen years. Even after only seven months with Caroline, losing her would destroy you.

“I– there was someone else.” He confesses softly. “Tess. She– we were…comfortable together. She didn’t push and I didn’t give. She lost her entire family, son and husband in the weeks after the outbreak.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a comfort to each other.” Two of the women you lived with in Maine had found comfort together – if not joy – after losing damn near everything. You know how lucky you were to have friends to hold onto. “I’m glad you had someone for that. Even if it didn’t last too long.”

Joel squeezes your hand and pulls you closer. You might be upset at him when he tells you the truth of it. “We were never…committed.” He admits, knowing Tess had her lovers even though he had only ever slept with you. “But I don’t – she died thinking I didn’t love her. I don’t ever want you to believe in your last moments that I don’t love you.”

“Oh.” He wraps one arm around your waist to pull you closer and you respond automatically, always wanting the closeness of having him near without hesitation. “Joel, I—” Everyone has lost someone. Most people lost everyone. But for him to continue to lose people must be terrifying. Rather than having everyone he loves lost in one fell swoop, he keeps having people turn away one by one. That kind of heartbreak isn’t easy to mend. “I’m so sorry, honey.” Nothing you can say to bring back the people he’s lost, but you can damn well acknowledge his pain. “My last moments are a long way away, if I can help it. I have a little girl to watch grow up,” you flash him a smile in the dim firelight. “And a grumpy Texan that I want to get to know a lot better.”

“Honey…Tess died a month ago.” He murmurs softly. “I – when you and I met, she was – she needed some time away from me. It’s why I was on that run by myself. She was with…an old friend.” He swallows and sighs. “I felt guilty when I got back. Not because I had done anything wrong. I hadn’t. But because I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. About that night.”

“I guess…” That takes a little extra time to process. He had been on and off with someone and just happened to be at an off point with them at the time that you met. It should make you feel awkward, or upset, or maybe like he lied to you. But what you had had was just an old-fashioned one night stand. It was nothing that turned out to mean something. You hadn’t expected it, clearly. Neither of you had. “I’m glad I didn’t go up to Boston, then. I thought about it a lot…about coming to find you. But…” With a minute shrug of your shoulders, you squeeze his fingers in yours gently. “But that would have made things hard for you. So I’m glad I didn’t.”

“It would have been alright.” Joel knows Tess would have given him shit, but he’s glad you didn’t risk it. He wouldn’t want you or Caroline in that shithole. “Honey. I want you to know that I do care about you. I didn’t stop thinkin’ about you. Wonderin’ if you had made it out west. Where you were, if you had reread that book for the thousandth time and if it reminded you of that night.”

“I—” A sheepish half-smile cracks your face and you reach into your backpack beside Caroline’s basket and come out again with the well-worn volume. “How did you know I’d taken it?”

“I doubled back to grab it and couldn’t find it.” Joel admits with a low chuckle. “Seems like we had the same idea.”

“It’s actually a good book.” Which seems downright beside the point, when the reason that you have it is that it reminds you of him, and you end up flustering a little. “Might have half of it memorized by now. I…I used to read it whenever I caught myself missing you.” Which was virtually every damn day, so you’ve read it a lot.

“You’ll have to read it to me, sometime.” Joel hums, sensing you are a little embarrassed but he doesn’t mind that you kept it.

“Only if we have a babysitter and Ellie’s otherwise occupied,” you snort, grateful for the darkness so that he can’t see your embarrassed face. “In a world without porn, this is pretty sexy stuff.”

“Better than the memory of our own porn?” He asks quietly, remembering every moan you made and how good it felt to be with you.

“Oh god no.” Again you have to stifle yourself, but this time it’s a groan. “We definitely outdid ourselves that night.”

He chuckles. “At least our baby girl will know the exact night she was conceived. And it was a good one.”

“Somehow I don’t think I’ll be telling her exactly how mommy and daddy met as a bedtime story,” you laugh in turn.

“Maybe changed a bit for tender ears.” He concedes with a grin.

“Just a bit.” Like this, curled up in his arms and laid out on a mattress on the floor, the whole feeling of the night is oddly nostalgic.

The silence isn’t heavy, but it is almost anticipatory. Waiting to see who speaks first. “What was the pre-outbreak food you craved while you were pregnant?” He asks softly, smiling at the idea of it.

"Pepperoni." You giggle quietly, bowing your head close to his chest to stifle the sound and not disturb either of the girls. "I used to dream about pepperoni. On literally anything, not just pizza. And Reese's cups."

“Pepperoni.” Joel groans quietly and nearly drools. “Do you know how many ham, bologna and pepperoni sandwiches I lived off of on job sites?”

"We used to get omelets for brunch at the house...during college." It hadn't exactly been a tradition that you could keep up with after the outbreak. "Every single Sunday I'd make normal ham and cheese or veggie omelets for everybody else...and then make myself a pizza one. Mozzarella, pepperoni, and basil in an omelet. Fucking heaven."

“That sounds great.” Joel chuckles and bites his lip. “Sarah made me breakfast the last morning. Eggs and bacon. We didn’t have pancake mix. Thank god.”

“Last I heard from my cousins, they had said…they had figured out what happened to everybody.” A soft sigh against his shirt is muffled, but that’s for the best. “My parents had gone out to dinner with my aunt and uncle that night. Something about having an adult night out.” Your eyes drift up, meeting Joel’s with sadness lacing your expression. “My aunt wanted to try a new bakery. They all…we lost them all pretty quickly, apparently.”

“I’m sorry, honey.” His hand rubs your back soothingly. Everyone still here had lost someone but that didn’t make the loss any less painful. “I really am. Hopefully we can get you back to your people so you can be with what’s left of your family.” He thinks about Tommy, about his own quest to get to him.

"If we're lucky, we'll find my cousins and your brother in the same place." The best you can do is shrug about it, knowing that luck is not something that the world has a lot of anymore.

“Maybe.” There are far more odd things to have happen, like finding the woman he had a one night stand with and learning he became a father again at fifty-six fucking years old. “We can hope.”

"I have all the hope I need right in that basket." You look up at the basket above your heads and sigh. "She's proof that good things are still possible."

Yes she is. Joel smiles softly, looking at you as you look up at the baby. “She might be the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.” He murmurs softly. “Didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

"You're good with her." It's a particularly solid nudge at your competency kink, if you're honest with yourself. "Born to be a girl dad, I guess."

“I was a single dad at twenty-three.” He reminds you. “Had to be good at it. Depended on me for everything.” Just like Caroline does you and he’ll be damned if she goes without.

"You've come back to it just like riding a bike, then." You won't press the point that he also treats Ellie like a daughter, but it's obvious to everyone who isn't them.

“Some things you never forget how to do.” He’s a bit smug about that, the fact that he had impregnated you the only time you were together hitting the pleasure zone of his dormant caveman genes.

"Yeah, yeah." The smirk on his face makes it abundantly obvious what he's referring to and you stifle a laugh. "You remember that like riding a bike, too."

“Hard not to remember when you were so responsive and beautiful for me.” He tells you honestly. It had been a night to remember.

Huffing, softly, you aim his smirk right back at him. "I had finally calmed myself down and now you're gonna get me worked up again."

Joel frowns for a moment and then works his face into a very smug smirk. “That’s why you were movin’ around, huh?” He asks teasingly. “You were horny?”

Rolling your eyes is the best you can do for a defense since you just admitted, but the atmosphere between you is a lot lighter now. "I was trying to wait until you fell asleep to take care of it."

“You don’t have to wait on me, honey.” He promises, sliding his hand down slightly and then under your shirt lightly to caress your back. “That’s something I’d be mighty interested in.”

"Oh yeah?" Earlier might not have been so playful, you can't be sure. Either way, the feeling of his large hand on your bare back makes you tingle in that very specific way.

“Don’t think you know how gorgeous I think you are.” He grunts softly. His fingers dig in slightly, massaging your skin.

“Doesn’t come up in conversation a whole lot,” you tease, knowing that things don’t get said for lack of privacy but also for Joel’s tendency to show and not tell.

“You are gorgeous.” He insists. “You with Caroline…it takes my breath away. It’s– it’s amazing.” He could watch you with her all the time. “But you are just beautiful by yourself too.”

It’s precarious, the way he’s crept closer to you and you’ve inched deeper into his arms. He’s the closest he’s been days and you can feel his breath on your neck like a wave of much-needed heat. It would be so easy to kiss him right now. “Joel…”

“Yes, honey?” He keeps his voice low, but he’s wanting to know what you want. What you need.

Without the privacy for acting on all the thoughts that have taken over your mind, you swallow thickly when you finally make yourself find his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

His hand slides farther up your back over your shoulder to urge you up. “Of course, honey,” he murmurs softly. “I wouldn’t turn you down.”

The thread of restraint snaps almost instantly, letting you push forward and close the last inch or so between you to press your lips to his. As needy as you might feel, it’s fairly contained – chaste and earnest and full of love, instead of the desperate clash of two bodies that it had been when you kissed him first a year and a half ago. The feeling of the kiss is freeing, wonderfully plush and warm against his lips. Making him instinctively curl around you more and drag you closer so he can feel you.

Slow exploration and learning each other bit by bit is a far cry from how it had happened the last time, but your relationship – if you could call it that – is very different now. In that random abandoned home in Massachusetts, you were each other’s own means to an end. Now there is an intimacy that shakes you to your core.

It can’t go beyond kissing and maybe a little groping. There’s the baby right above your head as living proof of how he still has bullets in the chamber. And he can’t risk that. Beyond the lack of privacy, he can’t risk you getting pregnant out here, he won’t risk it.

The build is delicious, moving through those first tentative presses to something deeper. You have to have some self-control, obviously, but right now all you can think about is how much you've missed him. How much you've missed this connection that you had even without ever meaning to forge it. It was just something that you discovered together, and it's that much more precious for being so natural.

His tongue slowly maps your mouth, swallowing your sounds as he does. Keeping you anchored to him, although he doesn’t think that you would go anywhere. Encouraging you to throw your leg over his waist and straddle him.

It’s his hand on your leg that brings you back to reality, the encouragement to come closer and to feel him underneath you being too tempting to give in to. “That’s gonna get us in trouble again,” you hum against his lips, grinning into the thick tension that almost swept you away.

“Nahhhhh.” He hums, smirking. “Just gonna make sure you don’t have to get yourself off when I go to sleep.”

“That’s very indulgent of you.” Though you’re not sure if it surprises you or not. Joel may be a bit closed off but he was never a selfish lover.

“How do you want to cum?” He asks you quietly, sliding his hand down to squeeze your still jeans covered ass. “You want to grind against me until you cum? Or do you want me to finger you?”

Given that you would happily commit several crimes to feel his hands on you again, the answer is easy, and you shiver a little at even being given the option. “Your fingers,” you whisper, like saying it louder would break the spell. “Please?”

He had washed up after the dinner, needing to keep his hands clean for handling Caroline. So he’s not worried about being dirty. He rolls you over and smirks. “Slide your jeans down, honey.”

Happy to obey instantly, you pop the buttons on your fly and shift to pull the fabric over your hips. This is a very intimate thing to do in close quarters, but also a compromise. What you want to be doing is far more intimate, and you just don’t have the privacy or safety for that.

Joel throws a leg over yours, pulling your thighs apart and hums when you keep your panties on. There are covers but he knows you want to make sure that Ellie doesn’t wake up and see anything. He slides his hands down to cup you over the material. “You want my fingers?” He teases, pressing lightly.

You'll beg if he wants you to, considering when you try to roll your hips back to tease him his leg holds you steady in place with much more strength than you thought just one leg could possess. "Yes," you end up breathing in surprise.

“Good girl.” He wants to make sure this is good for you, it’s the very least he can do. “I’m going to make you feel good but you need to be quiet.”

With him dominating every atom of air around you it's all you can do not to break and beg for more, but you nod obediently, enjoying the momentary praise of being called good more than you expected. If it gets him to slip those thick fingers into your panties, you'll be as good as gold.

Joel nudges his nose against your cheek, humming softly when you lay pliant for him. Sliding his hand back up so he can dip his fingers underneath the well worn waistband of the panties. “Do you know how often I’ve thought of this cunt?” He growls quietly, his fingers parting the thatch of curls to find the warm, wet folds of your sex.

"Maybe half as often as I've thought of what you did to it?" If he's going to tease you through this, you're going to at least be honest. And try desperately not to let your voice give away what he's doing to you.

“I know I got blamed when you were pushin’ her out.” He chuckles quietly and kisses along your jaw. Fingers finding your clit and pressing.

You swallow a gasp when the pads of his fingers connect with all of those brilliant little nerve endings in your swollen nub. Of course he's right – Caroline's birth was far from a walk in the park. But that isn't what you want to be focusing on when his fingers are a fraction of an inch from slipping inside you. "The getting her was fun, though."

“Yes it was.” He lets his teeth scrape over your skin, enjoying the way you shudder and would push your hips up if he didn’t have your leg pinned. “If I didn’t think it could happen again, I would say we need to repeat it.”

"We do need to." And the pout on your lips is extremely apparent in your voice over the fact that it can't happen right now. "I swear I've never been more desperate for a condom in my life."

Joel chuckles and kisses away the pout on your lips as his fingers slide deep into your walls with surprising ease.

"Shiiii—" Barely able to cut yourself off, you swallow the rest of the curse and let your head fall back on the pillow in utter delight. It's every bit as amazing as you remember it and all he's done is slip two fingers into your pussy.

“Fuck, you’re so hot and tight.” Joel groans into your ear, keeping his voice low so only you can hear it. “Nearly blew my load when I first slipped inside you. Hadta calm myself down.” He enjoys the slickness of your walls as he pumps them once, twice and then curls them up slightly to search for that little spot that makes you clench.

You whimper as your hips roll forward, one hand grasping for the blankets piled up at your side. His voice low in your ear is so much more of a turn on than you expected. Joel knows he can’t spend all night working you up and tearing you apart but he can make sure that you shake in pleasure so you are drowsy with it when he gets done with you. “You feel so good around my fingers, even better around my cock.” He rasps softly. “If I had been here, after findin’ out you were pregnant, you’d been filled with my cum everyday.”

"Joel!" Even whispered it's easy to tell that that idea is a desperately missed opportunity, as your tight walls clamp down on his fingers.

“Yeah, I would have kept you full.” He pumps his fingers in deep, slow curls. “Any time you wanted to drip into your panties.”

"I was so needy during my second trimester." Different than how you need him now, It was like a never-ending itch that no amount of self-satisfaction could ever scratch.

“Fuck, honey.” He groans, his cock twitching behind his jeans. “If I’d have been there you would have been wrung out. Tired from my tongue, fingers and cock.”

It's on the tip of your tongue to insist that if you did it once you could do it again, but this isn't a world that that joke is okay in. "I would have let you," you gasp instead, twisting to kiss him. While his fingers are buried in your cunt, his tongue delves deep into your mouth. Licking and curling around your own tongue to suck on it lightly.

Joel's hand picks up speed, the dexterous movement of his fingers inside you hitting each perfect spot like it isn't only the second time he's been knuckle deep in your pussy. Kissing him muffles a few noises that would otherwise definitely be too loud, and it's a good thing that this mattress is lying on the floor otherwise the creak of bedsprings would have been loud as well.

He can feel your thigh start to tremble under his and he knows you are going to cum soon. Pistoning his fingers in and out of your tight walls as if he were playing you like an instrument or tuning you like an engine.

The hand that had been clutching blankets snaps up, your fingers wrapping around Joel's forearm instead and hanging on for the last two – three – four strokes you need to hit your peak. Your whole body tightens, cunt drawing his fingers in as deep as they'll go and your own fingers clutching desperately to his arm as your mouth falls open on a silent cry. Everything about it is too much and exactly perfect, and the world blots out around you for just a few seconds while you float away on a cloud of pleasure.

He swallows your sounds. Every desperate, broken sob that you push out is absorbed by him. The rumble of satisfaction comes from deep within his chest as he feels the heat and liquid coat his fingers in a torrent from your contracting walls.

You might as well be a puddle when you finally fall back on the mattress half under him, smiling like the love drunk idiot you are and sighing softly into the night. "Well damn," you chuckle under your breath, kissing him again but much more softly.

He’s slow to pull his fingers out of your wet heat but he manages to pull them free eventually during the leisurely kiss. Pulling away and enjoying the completely blissful haze that is on your face. “Think you’ll sleep good now, honey?”

"Better than I have in about a year and a half," you joke quietly.

“Good.” Joel kisses you again softly and pulls back so he can roll onto his back and pull you into his arms. He’s throbbing but ignores it. This was about giving you what you need and not his own wants.

“Do you…?” Glancing down his body, you know there isn’t a chance in hell that he isn’t hard as a rock in his own jeans. Asking him to get you off and then ignoring his own needs would be selfish as all hell.

"I'm...okay." Joel groans softly, not wanting you to feel obligated. "It's a lot more mess with me than you." He reminds you, nudging his nose against yours and kissing you again.

There’s also no way to hide it, and two sets of eyes nearby. “How about we find some privacy tomorrow?” You suggest in his ear, knowing that another day in this place really will give you that chance.

"You don't have to, honey. I hope you know that." Joel is aware that you probably want to get him off, but he still feels like he should remind you.

“I know.” Which is why you’re not riddled with guilt right now, but rather have your mouth watering over the prospect. “I want to.”

Joel's eyes flutter slightly and he curses himself for not trying to find more water to wash up with so you could do what you wanted. "Okay."

“Get some sleep, honey.” The near-groan in his voice is obvious, and you bite back a devious grin. Your goal was to give him something to look forward to in a world with almost none of that – and you’re pretty sure you just succeeded.

There's a moment when he wants to argue, to tell you to do what you want but you are right. He needs to sleep. He will actually sleep rather than just pretend to sleep so he cant watch over you and the girls.

“I love you.” It may be a whisper in the dark, but that isn’t because it’s a secret. It’s because you’re safe. Because he keeps you protected – all of you – and in this world there’s no greater show of love. After all, he shows. He doesn’t tell.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord

For series: @lol-im-done @sezren @kyuupidwrites @spxctorsslxt @mythrielofsolitude @missmarmaladeth @midgetpottermills @spishsstuff @wrathofcats @rickysgrimes @that-friend-in-the-corner @123passwort @taygra5shaon @buckysmainhxe @mariwinns16 @superflymaterial @s1xthirty @gothicxbarbie @pedrettilov3r @flyingmushroomss @littleshadow17 @lovelyygirl8 @hairspeaks @zliteraturehoe @princessgriffin1998 @belahbelieve @leatherbride @ccomandercody @spacelatinos4life @gracie7209

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #baby mama reader #The Last of Us #The Last of Us HBO #TLoU #TLoU HBO

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pharawee · 5 months

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Welcome to the second part of my Pit Babe novel commentary aka "hey this isn't so ba---wait where's Babe's sudden daddy kink even coming from??"

And I try (oh my god do I try). 🤡

I'm now at chapter 10, trying to pace myself because the (auto-translated) translation I'm reading is apparently a WIP. I'm on the edge of my seat. The plot is beginning to thicken.

Previously, Charlie was being sus and Babe was catching feelings, but most importantly there was a lot of pwp and very little racing.

Now there's more racing. Babe even brings Charlie (he still has to wear a mask and a hat) but gets too distracted by his presence (he's apparently addicting enough to kiss through the mask) and promptly forgets to check his car before the race (even though Charlie warns him against it but such is the power of scent - or lack of scent in this case. I don't even know anymore - neither does Babe but at some point Charlie states that's he's now in an alpha rut which I suppose means exactly what it says on the tin).

But, oh no! Babe runs into trouble during the race. He loses the lead and his car gets increasingly difficult to control until it crashes and bursts into flames. But it's okay, Babe jumps out of the driving car just in the nick of time (have you ever seen a supercar outfitted for racing? It's difficult enough to climb into one - funny how I'm apparently okay with omegaverse shenanigans but I draw the line at wonky motorsports physics 🤣).

Anyway, the track marshals are doing a really shit job because somehow they 1. let Charlie on the track to singlehandedly try and rescue Babe and 2. they also completely miss that Babe has literally jumped ship car and is lying on the track. He ends up with a broken wrist and a sprained knee (or was it the other way around? anyway, he's wearing several casts) which means he won't be able to finish the season and lose the title of King (all because he was too horny to check his car... but yeah also apparently it was sabotage ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

So much for the racing part.

Babe needs weeks to heal so naturally he needs Charlie to pamper and feed him and dick him down several times a day but what else is new. No offence to the the dicking down part but ugh I hate this trope. Maybe it's just because I dislike the dynamics but I don't like the way Babe is taking on more and more cliché omega traits. If I have to read one more time about how much smaller he is (or about his "rounded" hips... are you ok google translate?)...

Oh, and btw. There are omegas in this! Charlie gets flirted at by one (which Babe absolutely hates) and he does have a scent and all. Later, when Charlie is busy being extremely sus again he meets up with a childhood friend, Jeff (Pon's character in the series is called Jeff - oh. oh no...), and if I'm not mistaken he's an omega as well. Jeff cautions Charlie against being with Babe and displeasing his father (which also seems to be Jeff's father? Dude sure has a lots of adoptive kids...) but Charlie argues that he knows what he's doing and he doesn't want to stop anyway.

Later on he tells the exact same thing to his (adoptive?) father, and why do I get the feeling that this might be the same father Babe mentioned earlier when he was telling a feverish Charlie a story to get him to sleep:

In his story, Babe mentions how when he was very small he used to go hungry every day because his mum was out of the picture and his father didn't even make enough money bring food to the table. One day the hunger was so bad that he passed out and woke up in the hospital where a stranger told him he'd be his new family. With little choice in the matter, Babe accepted and went on to spend the rest of his childhood well-cared for and in elite schools etc. That is, until he turned (presumably...) 18 and discovered that his father didn't adopt him out of the kindness of his heart but for ulterior motives that Babe doesn't explain any further because at that point Charlie has fallen asleep.

So yeah, what are the odds that Babe's "father" and Charlie's father are the same person (no spoilers, please)? Because if so then... that's disturbing, especially since Charlie's father seems to want Charlie to lure Babe back home. I mean, Charlie seems to have his own plans but it's not like his father throws him out after their secret meeting. Sus, very sus.

Meanwhile, Babe is slowly losing his heightened senses (the novel doesn't mention it yet but I'm pretty sure this is Charlie's doing) but he doesn't seem to mind because he's too busy falling in love. There's a lovely scene where Charlie and he spend the night stargazing, and this is when Babe realises that something's different because usually his heart only beats this fast when he thinks about racing (lmao).

Cue to them not having sex for a week because Babe feels like he's going crazy.

Meanwhile, it's been decided that Charlie will finish Babe's racing season for him because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and I'm sure he'll win the title too because he's Charlie, alphaest of alphas. Or something.

So one night Babe officially introduces him to the rest of team X-Hunter (and curiously Sonic and North seem to be racers in the novel as well) but things go awry when Babe is too busy fooling around with Way (no you cannot be affectionate with a male friend in a BL novel it is forbidden!!). Charlie and Babe argue and proceed to ignore each other for the rest of the night until they make up (and out) during the official X-Hunter sleepover (with Way and another poor dude sleeping in the same room).

They're polite enough to seek out the indoor pool (this isn't even their house - have you no shame?) and talk it out. And by talk it out I mean there's an inappropriate amount of daddy-calling and Little Mermaid jokes. This is where Charlie claims Babe. Yes, there's knotting (I think? like I said, I'm not axactly an expert and auto-translate is a bit vague, bless its little AI heart). Charlie threatens (I'm sure it's all meant very lovingly 🤡) to impregnate Babe if there's no other way to show others that he's his. To which Babe replies that that's impossible anway.

It's impossible, right? Right??

#pit babe the series #pit babe spoilers #pit babe #jane watches stuff #(in a way)#pit babe meta #bl meta #i wrote this is the middle of the night because i can't sleep #but this feels like a fever dream anyway so #to everyone reading this:#you have my thanks but also sry for subjecting you to this lmao 🙏

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lieutnt · 1 year

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your ghost fic was so good oh my god. since you said that you were open to suggestions, would you ever consider writing something that involves ghost getting knotted? love the way u write dude

new experiences

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male Reader Summary: Simon experiences one of your heats for the first time. Warnings: NSFW, 18+ Only. Anal (R giving), knotting, heats, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, what are refractory periods?

Your chest heaves as you try to remain still, fists clenched in the bed sheets and head thrown back in exasperation, unable to keep your eyes open as Simon lowers himself onto you inch by inch, your mind and body in turmoil as you know he needs to go slow to adjust to your size, but the deep ache in the pit of your stomach begging him to hurry so you can fuck him already.

Thighs trembling with restraint you puff out a harsh breath as you adjust to the way his hole hugs you tightly, senses trickling back to you as you fill him inch by inch until you bottom out, your whole length nestled deep inside him. He stays like that for what feels like an eternity as your breathing evens out, finally able to lift your head and look at him.

Simon doesn't seem to be doing any better than you are - a deep flush blooming from his neck down, his chest slowly rising and falling as he breathes until he's comfortable, his hard cock drooling precum onto your abdomen where it rests.

An involuntary grunt punches from your throat when he plants his hands on your chest and lightly rocks, your hands leaping to hold onto his waist, trying to pull him forward for more, to do anything. He goes with you, slow, testing the movement, and you can't help but be distracted by the flexing of his muscles, thick thighs resting on either side of you as he rocks. You didn't think it was possible but taking in the sight of him makes you more eager, cock twitching as Simon moans almost silently, slipping into more of a rhythm.

Over the next few minutes he gradually increases his pace until he's able to rapidly bounce up and down on your cock, your brain almost short-circuiting as you try and meet him thrust for thrust, pleasure coursing through your body. Your hands circle aroud to grab his cheeks, massaging the plump muscle as he switches back to grinding against you, your cock bumping against his prostate with every movement.

The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the air, until finally Simon breathlessly speaks. "Christ love, I'm close." It ignites a spark in your brain, redoubling your efforts as you begin to move Simon hard and fast up and down your cock, your own need for release beginning to surge as he moans, face lax with pleasure.

As he climbs higher and higher he babbles unintelligible curses, breathing harshly with exertion. It only takes a few more thrusts until Simon is throwing his head back with exclamation, a curse erupting from his lips as he cums, body quaking around you as his release triggers yours, your cock erupting with white ropes as you paint his insides, your hips still thrusting as his hole milks you for all you can give.

You stay like this for minutes, drawing each other's pleasure out for as long as possible until Simon stops, planting a hand on your chest and panting, his thighs burning with effort as tries to keep himself up. He groans in discomfort as he manages to lift himself just enough to flop down on his back next to you, throwing an arm over his eyes as he tries to catch his breath.

An ache is still deeply burrowed in your gut, cock painfully hard and twitching for more as you roll to hover over Simon, planting kisses against his lips, jaw, throat, trailing down his chest and then back up until you're settled between his legs, cock rubbing against his as your tongue invades his mouth, desire giving way to feral need.

It's a struggle to draw back only just enough to whisper against his lips "Ok to keep going?", brain struggling to form the sentence properly before you're kissing him again. He silently nods and it's all you need, cock easily sliding back into him thanks to cum that sticks to his walls. Everything feels more intense as he rocks up and down the bed, his nails pressing into your back and leaving crescent-shaped indents when you lean down to capture his mouth, only breaking apart when you need to breathe.

This time with each thrust you tug at his cock, his body arching up as he quickly grows to full hardness, his cock starting to weep precum as the head of your dick brushes against his prostate, unfiltered moans mixing in the air. His pleasure increases your own, the sight of him desperately trying to find his peak, the way he tries to jerk up into your hand, his flushed face and eyes unable to open and the feeling of your cock gliding through his hole tips you dangerously close to the edge.

Thankfully you don't have to wait long, the change in Simon's breaths, the way he bears down so you're fully inside him signals his impending release, and with a few more thrusts and rolls of your hand over his cock he's lifting up as high as he can, body sucking you in and cock spitting strings of white across his stomach. You follow soon after, dumping another load deep inside, your bodies quaking and jerking with pleasure as you ride out your highs. Your hips don't stop, trying to release as much as you can while Simon twitches with relief.

He groans, tenderness and oversensitivity settling in as you barely manage to stop your hips, cock still rock hard within him, only just slowly grinding as you babble into the crook of his neck. "Just one more please, I'm close, I'm so close". Your brain is muddled, desperate for release.

He's tired now - mumbling an "Ok" as you change positions, pushing Simon onto his hands and knees and rapidly pushing back inside, your thighs already slapping against the back of his in a harsh pace. The force behind your thrusts knock him forward, Simon instead choosing to drop to resting on his arms, your cock nudging deep within him and bullying his prostate, whining groans accompanying each thrust as his body is beginning to tip from pleasure to pain.

The twinge in your stomach feels different this time; more intense, and your whole body feels overwhelmed, each slap of your hips causing the knot at the base of your dick to begin to swell, and grow larger and thicker until eventually Simon can feel it pressing against his rim every time you bury yourself completely within him.

Pure desperation to cum drives your hips forward, thrusting hard and rough until your knot is pushed inside, a vicious groan of pleasure filling the air as you're locked to Simon, your cock twitching and pulsing as you cum one final time, pouring everything you have into him as you hold him by the hips, Simon loudly cursing as his cock explodes underneath him, threads of white spraying across the bed and even covering his chest.

Your arms can't hold you up anymore, collapsing onto your side as euphoria thrums through your veins, your skin sticky with sweat as you hold Simon to your chest, your knot firmly in place, locking you together.

Simon tries to adjust and the silence is broken, the movement causing his rim to tug on your knot, a hiss deep from your lungs as your cock twitches, a small pulse of cum oozing out into the depths of his hole, your hand quickly holding onto his hip, silently begging him not to move again as your brain is fried. He groans, exhaustion wracking through his body as he feels you twitch inside, unable to go another round.

* * *

A relieved groan escapes from the depths of his chest when he steps under the warm shower, the water instantly relieving his aching muscles. He remains there for a few minutes, letting the warmth wash over him until he hears the bathroom door open and shut, and then the shower doors slide open, cold air rushing in briefly until you quickly shut it again.

Simon steps to the side for you to immediately step under the deluge, your skin warming before you take his hand to pull him towards you, standing chest against chest as you cup his jaw and kiss him; slow, relaxed, in no rush at all. You moan into his mouth as he deepens the kiss briefly, only to quickly be replaced by a disappointed groan when he breaks away and looks down, huffling slightly when he finds the source of what was poking him in the stomach.

"You're hard again?" He questions, slightly confused with the memories of the previous night still rattling in his bones.

You make a point of your eyes sweeping over his figure, his skin glistening under the water, droplets trickling down his muscles. Backing him against the shower wall you trail kisses across his throat, hands trailing down his hips and then behind, each grabbing a handful of his ass. "Do you blame me?"

Simon grunts, blood trailing down his body to his cock, despite the tiredness and the aching he can't help but get excited at another round, thinking that offering to help with your heat is one of the best things he's ever done.

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x male reader #call of duty #top male reader #elijahs oneshots #lieutnts writings #male reader #top reader

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luveline · 2 years

Note

slightly mean eddie if you feel so inclined 🥹🫶 like stern kinda like how you do “mean sirius”. i just think him slightly bossing r around or being stern with her is 😍🫶

SMUT 18+ ONLY MDNI (cw: p in v, hard/mean dom!eddie, mostly just rough touches and bossing r around, some degradation, stoplight, all consensual) | fem!reader | 1.2k words

Eddie leans back, looking a tenuous mixture of unimpressed and sympathetic. "Baby, stop hiding."

You sit with your legs spread over his legs, face pointed resolutely at the happy trail that climbs clumsily up the centre of his abdomen. "I'm not," you say, though you can't lift your gaze to prove him wrong.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, bringing a hand to your cheek to force your head up. You smile weakly.

"Good."

"Yeah? You know all your alerts still? What colour is this?"

"I don't forget them." You let your legs spread wider, hissing as you sink down further on the splitting girth of his cock. "Green."

As soon as he knows you're okay he gets mean, a subtle cruelty, squeezing your cheek in a too-tight grip. "What did I say before? Stop hiding."

You straighten your back, hips moving in messy, slow circles and hands braced against his trim waist. You lift your head and try your best to stay up, even when the head of his cock taps into your spongy soft spot and sends a round of pleasure-shocked chills through your abdomen.

You quiver happily.

"You liked that?" he pulls his arms down from behind his head to grab your waist, pushing you down hard into his thighs.

His cock kisses your soft spot again and you feel yourself tipping forward. "Sit up, doll. Up. Wanna see you, wanna see that face you make when I stretch you out."

He lifts his hips and you gasp. "That's the one," he says, grinning.

"Too big," you whisper, so full you can't breathe right. You're sensitive to every shift, every drag of his cock, the curve of his shaft as he digs into the pulp of your walls.

"Say again," he says, pulling your hips into him.

"It's too big, Eds. I don't think I can take it."

He stares up at you assessingly. You wilt slightly under his gaze, your eyes half-lidded and lashes heavy with unshed tears.

His pinky finger is cool as he strokes down the hill of your soft cheek. "Baby, I know how much you can take." He drops his hand abruptly. "So take it."

He fucks up into you until you're panting, clinging to his waist and wanting desperately to bury yourself in his chest. Every time you try he pushes you back, his annoyed gaze lighting a fire in the pit of your stomach. You try to fuck him how he likes it with your hips rolling, almost bouncing over his length, but the stimulation is overwhelming.

"Please," you say, hands sliding behind his naked back. "Please, please, Eddie."

He tilts his head to one side. "You're so fucking clingy. Come here," he says, opening his arms with a well-acted reluctance.

You melt into him, always so relieved to garner his affection. His hands are sweet, roving up and down the length of your back in sweeping lines that soothe you like you'd wanted. "Green," you whisper before he can ask.

He stifles a chuckle, nuzzling his face into the side of yours. "You're really fucking tight. Do you need something?" he asks.

You think about it. "Can you touch me?"

"Try and relax for me, okay?" he asks, hand already moving to the place where your bodies meet, thick fingers searching for the little bead of your clit. He pushes the pad of his thumb into it and draws slow circles. "If you want to take a break, we can do that."

"I'm okay. Do you-" You gasp as he hits the right spot. "Do you want a break, baby?"

"No. A break from moulding this sweet cunt? As if." He rolls his eyes, a burning amusement slowly changing to smugness, to mocking. "Why, do you think I need one?"

You swallow dryly at the character he's become and shake your head. "No, I just-"

"Just what? Think you know better than me?"

"I just thought-"

He laughs darkly. "Ah, and that's where you're going wrong, sweet thing. I don't need you to think about anything besides this," he gives you two sharp thrusts. You wrap your arms tight around his neck, crushing dark curls to your nose. He smells like he always does; cedarwood, a heady cologne sticks to his skin.

You clamp down around him without thinking and listen to him hiss. "That's it, that's it. Fuck. Guess there's some sense in here after all," he says, lips to your forehead.

Your thighs tighten around him and he's more than perceptive, focusing his efforts on your clit, chasing your climax with tight circles.

"You gonna ask me?"

You take a big breath. "Can I cum?"

He squeezes you tight to his chest and his skin is everywhere, touching you all over, his hands and his arms and his chest, his thighs and his cock rocking into you, as close as he can be. You gasp for air as your high approaches.

"Be polite."

"Please," you say quickly, quiet but forceful as you remember yourself. "Eddie, please can I? Please, please-" You squeeze your eyes shut and shy away from his touch, worried you'll cum before he says you can.

He takes pity. "Go on, sweetheart."

Everything dissolves. The coil snaps and you really can't breath, biting down on your index finger to stop from squealing in his ear. He pushes you through it, doesn't stop touching until you're over the crest of it and panting again.

"Good job," he says, and you know he's done playing mean before he says, "Blue. Very blue. How are you feeling?" Blue – I want to keep fucking you, but I don't want to play mean anymore.

You pull back and feel weak, slouched in his lap, his cock still hard as stone inside you. You do an experimental little bounce. "Blue."

He beams and you do too, laughing under your breath as you lean down for a kiss. His lips are inviting: so soft, sweet, a short fall from tentative. You brush the hair away from his face as you pull back and take in his cheeks, pink with blush and damp with a sheen of sweat.

"You're blushing!" you say, ecstatic.

He groans, covering his face with both hands as he says, "Fuck off, you tease. This is all your fault. You don't know how fucking cute you look trying to climb all over me. How hard it is to push you away."

You curl your fingers around his wrist and pull them away, pressing a kiss to the back of his hands before letting them drop. "Thanks, Eddie. For playing games with me."

He blinks. "I like them just as much as you do."

"I like you."

"Wait, do you have a crush on me?" he asks suspiciously.

You burst into laughter. Eddie joins in, though it's strangled as he shifts beneath you. You realise then how close he is to his own release, his chest rising fast.

"Got more than a crush on you, Munson. I'll show you, if you like?" you ask, working your hips.

His eyes close as his head drops back into the couch cushion. Neck bared, you watch his throat bob. He moans and it's haunting, you'll be thinking about it all day, a wicked exhale coloured by the deep rasp of his voice.

"Want me to show you, baby?"

"Please," he says.

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #x reader #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #eddie munson smut

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ashersanity · 2 months

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Been rewatching Beastars lately and I can’t get my head out of the gutter, how Whitney would fit nicely right into the structure itself.

Wolf whitney, to be exact. Don’t tell me it doesn’t suit ‘em, it’s Whitney all over, from the feral need to hunt and own, climb upon the ranks. They’re a carnivore through and through, this carnal need to sink their used fangs into fresh meat, greedily lap up the remaining velvety consistency with their pink tongue. It’s in a wolf’s nature to do so, and fuck, once they set their sights on you — It’s fucking over. You thought regular Whitney was bad? Take a look at their wolf counterpart, much, much worse.

Usually seen in packs, snickering along with their mates only to bare their sharp teeth at the mere hint of your scent drawing nearby, saliva pooling beneath their tongue. Sure, the town has deemed it immoral to feast upon an herbivore, but the blonde doesn’t give a shit, not at all. Once they got you firmly pinned up against the bricked wall, dread forming in the pits of your guts with this fucking.. feral beast towering over you, fluffy tail gently swaying back and forth. Yeah, you’re fucked. You don’t know if when the delinquent refers to you as their prey instead, how they can’t wait to get a good ol’ taste of you, don’t know if they’re actually kidding or not. Truth is, Whitney is not. Motherfucker’s size also expanded and I’m not just talking about their overall height and frame.

Changing in the locker rooms, catch a glimpse of Whitney’s softened knotted cock hanging lazily between their legs, the way it lightly smacks against their thigh. Holy fuck, the sheer girth of it, not even hardened and you wonder how exactly they’re walking with that hefty thing around. How do you fucking get past that either? Simply shoots you a lingering look, grinning to themselves once they’ve caught you staring for a tad bit too long. Escalating to cleanly stripping you free from your clothes, uncaring for the leering gazes that attracts from everyone else. If anything, the bully adores it, swiftly unzipping their trousers open to smack their drooling knotted cock onto your bare tummy, get a good idea of how far it’d reach if they shoved it straight in. The sensation has you dizzy, as Whitney likes it to, teasingly rubbing the length of their veiny shaft along your skin, smearing pearly pre-cum all over the heated surface.

On blood moons? Good luck with that. Quickened puffs of breath escaping from your lips as you try to outrun them in the vast forest, the familiar padded footsteps drawing nearer as a sharp branch grazes your cheek, stumbling over your own feet and landing onto the rough, soiled ground. Fuck, its fuzzy all over, aching fingers having gone numb a long while ago, leaving only the resounding smack of Whitney’s swollen cock fucking into you, bullying your wet, sloppy insides full of their seed till sunrise.

↓ I meant F!Whitney with a cock btw, by @shoknsfw

The lower half.. yeah, only I get to see that.

#digging back up from my grave to post this shit #that’s it #needed to get this one out of my system #wholfney has been on my mind for a long while #poor shoku didn’t want to show wholfney in all her glory #shy girl #time to go back to sleep #goodnight #can’t believe she made art out of this only cuz of my dumbass shit #tw monsterfucking #dol #degrees of lewdity #whitney the bully #wholfney #character x reader #asher getting.. ideas!#asher writes

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this-aint-massachusetts · 4 months

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MORE FNAF HCS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT

more hcs because I’m losing my mind and I can’t contain the sillyness any longer

-Mike sometimes have nightmares of William succeeding and Abby being another victim of his and will get up in a cold sweat to check on her in her room, sometimes glad to see her staying up late because it means she's still there

- Abby gets nightmares of Mike not waking up when she ran over to him and wakes up in tears, and goes and climbs into his bed, forcing his arm up to sneak in and hold her, he's usually awake by then and tells her everything will be okay and that he's okay

-Abby is really picky about the texture of her stuffed animals so Mike learns over time and buys them accordingly, even warning people ahead of time if they ever wants to buy one to bring him with her

-When Mike really got into doing pushups, if Abby was awake early enough she'd sit on his back or play with her dolls on his back pretending it's a boat in the ocean (he complained at first but took it as another moment to be with his sister)

-Ness is the type to remember everyone's orders, he has them memorized by their third visit His boss would be impressed if he wasn't constantly yapping to the customers disrupting kitchens flow

-Mike Found the song that the animatronics played and will play it for Abby sometimes and watch her dance, glad to see her smiling again (until he's invited to dance to which he pretends to hate witch makes Abby giggle)

-Mike: "Abby if I die here you can draw on my grave, wouldn't mind.

Abby: "Please don't talk like that."

-After waking up, Vanessa chose to take a bit of a calmer job as a SRO at Abby’s school

-Mike went to Abby's school for her lunch to surprise her for her birthday and Vanessa is only is told it's a "surprise visitor" & nearly makes Mike piss his pants w how scary she was to greet him before seeing it was him

-Vanessa is very caring when it comes to Mike or Abby being sick or injured. Mike has a really hard time excepting help so he just pretends he’s fine until he can barley function

-Abby loves to paint others nails but not hers, if she has any kinda nail polish on or paint on her nails she’ll bite at them

-Ness writes little silly puns and jokes on to-go orders and will for sure spend forever choosing the right one and will wake up the next day with an even better one and be down the whole day

-Vanessa is really, like embarrassingly bad at bedtime stories, like Mike tried being nice about it but Abby wasn't

-Mike is both the pickiest eater and the will try anything guy at the same time

-Abby Was taught to warn Mike of cops on the road but now she recognizes Vanessa's car and says "there's Vanessa!" And she purposely pulls him over to chat with Abby

-Abby called Mike dad by accident and he couldn't stop crying for hours and Abby thought she offended him and made it a thing to call him "big brother Mike™”

-Abby will pretend to be asleep for more time in bed and Mike's comfort. Mike knows damn well she's awake but doesn't have the heart to actually wake her up and finds himself playing with her hair and glad she's safe

-Abby still has Mike's old security badge and vest and likes to go around pretending that she has a taser and goes around "defeating animatronics" which is just tickling Mike while he's trying to get work done

-Abby before the events at Freddy's she was always warned by Mike about the germs in a ball pit so that one scene was quite literally a last ditch effort for her

-Vanessa has been asked multiple times to scare Abbys bullies but gives the corny "tell a trusted adult they're not worth it" speech to her and feels proud about it. Mike tells Abby to just beat them up /hj (She takes his advice and both get lectured by Vanessa)

-Mike was 100% ready to fight Vanessa if he needed to because he really needed the job and was fully prepared to live up to the "keep people out" rule (based off the scene where they first met)

-Mike entered his emo phase the second Garrett got taken and left it the second he got custody of Abby, mostly because he was too busy to dress up anymore

-Abby managed to get ahold of Mike's taser from when he was a mall cop and brought it in for show and tell

-Vanessas first reaction to seeing the fazbear band for the first time was to ask why the band didn't have a drummer and William grounded her for seven months and didn't speak to her the entire time because he was so deeply offended and embarrassed

-sometimes when the animatronics get bored they dial random numbers into the phone and see what happens and one time they managed to call the White House completely by accident

-Abby and Vanessa do sister stuff together like braiding hair, baking cookies, and playing Barbies with insane reality tv level drama (it freaks Mike out but he just assumes it's girl stuff he wouldn't understand)

-Mike was really into skateboarding when he was younger, he doesn't do it much anymore but whenever he needs to flex on someone he whips out the triple kick flip and everyone is like how tf is that pathetic wet cat of a man doing that

-Ness runs a blog on Livejournal that’s basically food theory but in the 2000’s and he takes it very seriously

-When they were at the pizzeria Abby found the ballon boy figurine and wanted to take it home because she thought it was cute. Mike almost had a heart attack when he found it at the house

-One time Abby found Mikes bong and thought it was a vase so she put some flowers in in and put it up for decorations, Mike, Ness and Vanessa nearly pissed themselves laughing when they saw it

-Abby is obsessed with furbys, Mike on the other hand almost shit himself when he heard it talking in the middle of the night. Fear only got worse after Freddy’s

-Mike couldn’t afford an ambulance to drive Vanessa to the hospital so he just called a taxi (Cory went through enough that night so he just gave up and drove them, he was pissed afterwards tho because blood got all over his seats)

-Abby has a fish tank in her room that’s just filled with bugs and dirt, Mike has insisted to get rid of it multiple times because it smells rancid and the bugs kill each other regularly

-It took Mike 5 times to just get his learners permit

-William was a frat in collage

-Ness and Abby are both bug lovers and both cry when you squish a bug, Mike hates bugs and doesn’t get it

-Mike likes fishing and is lowkey hyperfixated on it

-William kept all the important files in a small ass trapper keeper that he stole from Vanessa

-Mikes car hasn’t been inspected in eight years, not cause he thinks he won’t pass he just forgot to do it and just never did it again (but srysly look at it it’s fucking disintegrating)

-Mike also doesn’t like when other people take care of him because he doesn’t want to be seen as needy but Vanessa and Ness are like: “YOU WILL TAKE MY LOVE AND CARE GOD DAMNIT!” (In a loving way tho)

-Ness steals the crayons from the kids menus and gives them to Abby

Oki final part for now because I can’t think of anything else 😜

#securitywaiter #fnaf movie #fnaf ship #fnaf #ness fnaf #mike x ness #mike fnaf #mike schmidt #ness the waiter #vanessa afton #abby fnaf #abby schmidt #my headcanons #headcanon

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sykosomatic · 11 months

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kurt kunkle x male (amab) reader

potential warnings for: reader has amab genitalia, oral sex — male giving/male receiving, rimming, anal sex, car sex, voyeurism, being recorded, semi-public sex, powerbottom!reader… etc etc!

pre-killing spree. imagine it’s a test run for the real thing.

•••

it was late; you needed a ride home. you’d been out drinking with some friends. not enough to impair your driving per se, but you wanted to be safe. plus — well, you needed an excuse to see that cute spree driver again. he was a brunet, and you liked brunets. he had that weird sort of personality that sort of drew you in, in a strange way. he was kooky and you could definitely see him between your legs one day. maybe that day would be today; scratch that — hopefully today would be the day.

you were watching your phone, standing at the curb beside the bar, waving a lazy goodbye to your friends as you saw the notification pop up at the top of your screen, telling you that kurt had accepted your ride. you grinned a bit as you waited for him to arrive, scuffing your tennis shoe on the sidewalk. the car pulled up on no time at all and you climbed right in, smiling up at him.

“hey!” he greeted; his eyes were skirting around the car, twitching back and forth from what appeared to be cameras.

“oh, uh, hi —“ you responded back, a little surprised at all the equipment. “kurt?” you confirmed, though of course you knew it was him. before he could confirm it himself, you nodded knowingly. “yeah, i remember you from last time — i promise i’m not an alcoholic,” you chuckled up at him, choosing not to mention the cameras for now. maybe they were for security; couldn’t be too careful nowadays.

the driver seemed very pleased that you remembered him. “yeah! that’s me,” he said proudly, seeming to sit up a little straighter at the comment, riding high on the recognition.

“kurtsworld96,” the two of you said in unison, causing his eyes to shimmer.

a mild darkness set over his gaze after that, a moment of disappointment, before he sort of seemed to knock himself out of it. you saw him eyeball his phone, which seemed to be recording.

you didn’t mean to pry, but this made your cheeks burn with embarrassment. cameras made you a little bit nervous. “oh, uh, are you recording me?” you asked with a light nervous chuckle.

“oh, yeah — well, it’s sort of for my protection,” he excused with a light shrug. this seemed like a made up excuse.

“oh — you’re recording this for your channel, right?” you remembered, a deep pit in your stomach beginning to form. now it sort of started to come back; you’d checked his channel out a bit after last time, it was mostly regular stuff, a draw my life here and a let’s play there… but recently he’d been talking about. —“the lesson? is that right?”

he seemed to once again fly high on the recognition. “oh, well.. yeah, yeah, but.. well, see, i didn’t want it to be you — you’re one of my fans,” he sort of stammered out. he seemed to be figuring out what he should do.

the lesson, you’d managed to figure out, seemed to be a way to get a whole bunch of views in a short amount of time. he’d been planning on livestreaming his ridesharing adventures. you remembered he was trying something that seemed a bit ‘out there’ but you couldn’t quite remember what it was.

an idea began to form.

“the lesson — you wanted to get a lot of views, right?” you clarified; you wanted him to know you were also suggesting that you had a good idea for how to do that.

“yeah,” kurt confirmed. he glanced back at you in his rear view mirror, trying to see what you were getting at. “are you, like, offering to help me?”

you grinned up at him. “yeah! if you’re.. into that,” you chuckled. not awaiting too much of an answer, you nodded at an upcoming alleyway on the right. the two of you were still in a pretty brightly lit part of the city, with the party crowd still out for a long while to come — the only thing you’d have to worry about was maybe someone spotting the two of you from afar. “here, pull off over here, it’ll be safer to do while you’re not driving.”

he laughed a bit, softly, betraying in his expression that he was a bit confused. “i’ve kinda got a schedule to keep here..” he informed you.

“oh, i promise you, this will be worth your time,” you told him, flashing a wink in his direction as he began to pull off. he turned his mood lights onto a darker setting, leaving them purple so that the two of you could still see a bit, turning the car off and looking at you expectantly.

“okay, well, don’t.. don’t try anything funny, because i’ve got my whole setup rigged,” he half-warned. you gestured for him to climb into the backseat with you, waving him off in a playfully dismissive manner.

“oh, c’mon,” you chuckled at him, reaching up to move the passenger seat forward a bit, giving the two of you a little bit more room. “get back here so we can have some fun.”

kurt decided that you were worth listening to, and climbed into the backseat beside you. “so, you, uh, you’ve got an idea?” he asked, peering around at the cameras. there were enough so that all angles of the two of you were covered, not an inch left undiscovered.

rather than answering with words, you leaned in and captured his lips with yours, kissing him deeply. he made a grunt of surprise, and you peeked your eyes open to see he was still watching his cameras. you could see on his phone screen where he had comments pulled up. they were suddenly streaming in quick, offering suggestions.

you saw him close his eyes and sink into the kiss after a few seconds, and you wrapped your arms over his shoulders to pull him closer. “cmon, get comfy; it’ll get you more views~” you teased him. he relaxed a bit more, coming to a realization that sex sells — and, of course, he was about to get laid.

it got a little more hot and heavy after that, you climbing into his lap and grinding your hips down onto him, his hands exploring, your hands exploring.. until the two of you were naked in the purple lighting and he’d switched his stream to an adults-only setting. you had to teach him a few things, of course — he admitted to you he’d never gone down on someone with a cock before, but you assured him it wasn’t difficult.

you taught him how good a rimjob feels; and that wasn’t even for the stream, that was because you really liked the way he sounded when you had your tongue in his ass. then he tried his hand at it and sort of blew your mind a bit. then came the blowjobs. he was slow and reluctant, nervous to do it wrong or to look silly on camera, but he got into it soon enough; after all, he had the same equipment… and confidence gets more views.

eventually, you were lying on your back with a camera above you, and two of kurt’s fingers in your willing and aching hole. oh, it felt so good. and he was just so cute, wasn’t he? he had that sweet little dorky attitude and his facial expressions were just so adorable…

“oh, fuck-!” you whined as you felt a third finger go in.

“oh! you alright?” he asked, looking you over as you arched your back.

“oh… oh, im great…” you moaned, bending your knees a little more and opening your legs wider, getting into a better position. “can you fuck me now?” you requested, reaching down and taking your cock in your hand, stroking it to relieve some of the pressure building up.

he grinned and positioned his cock at your entrance, slowly popping the tip inside you and sliding in. it had been a while for you, and this guy had obviously never done anal before, so the two of you were both groaning out in intense pleasure, biting your lips and breathing heavy. “god, that’s good,” you moaned out as he went deeper. he took a pause, whimpering at the pleasure, before bottoming out in you. “so fucking good…” you whined out.

he looked back up over at the views he was getting, they were off the charts. more than he’d ever had. he grinned, mentioning it to you, but you were too pleasure-drunk to really retain the words. he started rocking his hips into you, gaining power and speed, and eventually starting to alternate the two depending on the comments he was getting — both from you and the viewers.

“oh, shit, im close —!” you whined out at him, holding your legs up against your chest as best you could, giving the world watching an insanely close view on your ass getting fucked. kurt took gentle hold of your cock and mimicked your stroking from earlier, and in moments your cum exploded out of you, coating his hand and your stomach.

kurt groaned as you clenched around him, emptying himself inside of you and holding there, spurts upon spurts of cum filling you up and spilling out onto the car seat. “o-oh, fuck…” he whimpered as he came, hands on your legs for support.

“bet that’ll make for some really good content,” you teased him, pulling him in for one final kiss.

#slashers #writing #male reader #kurtsworld96 #kurt kunkle #male reader x kurt kunkle #kurt kunkle spree #kurt kunkle smut #slasher smut #slasher x male reader #slasher fanfic

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swtorpadawan · 2 months

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Chaos is a Ladder

Author’s Notes: The following story takes place on Hutta during Act III of the Class stories. I name-drop a lot of minor NPCs from the game, so I hope you’re into that sort of thing. Content warnings for references to off-camera extreme violence.

“Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them.” - Petyr Baelish, aka 'Littlefinger', HBO’s Game of Thrones, season 3, episode 6, "The Climb"

Loyalty on Hutta is a complicated thing. The woman who called herself Linh noted to herself in a detached moment of clarity, drawing her consciousness away from the nearby stench of death and the distant sounds of fighting.

Nominally, of course, everything on Hutta was controlled by the Hutts. Any attempts to wrest control of their adopted home world away from the Cartel over the centuries – either by the native Evocii or by the various rival crime lords and organizations that thrived on the nearby ‘Smuggler’s Moon’ of Nar Shaddaa – had been ruthlessly crushed.

But in practice, the Hutt Cartel ruled Hutta solely through fear.

And it was an effective and even a pragmatic fear, one that allowed a relatively small number of Hutts to each rule over their own private fiefdom, with the backing of countless guards, servants and slaves, aided by any number of semi-independent mercenaries and bounty hunters, and supported by a culture that ensured that however much Hutts might quarrel, fight and rage against each other, they always seemed to band together the moment the status quo of their world was challenged; even if one Hutt did fall, another would simply take their place or absorb their territory, with predictable consequences.

But it was still a control built on the foundation of fear nonetheless. Meaning that any loyalty anyone showed to the Hutts was an illusion, and that illusion was virtually everywhere.

Based on her own training and experiences, Linh had always suspected that the moment peoples’ fear of the Hutts was eclipsed by their fear of something else, those illusions would be dispelled, and those people would turn.

And that suspicion was now being confirmed as people were now turning on Suudaa Nem'ro, more popularly known as Nem’ro the Hutt, leader of the Nem’ro Clan and lord of the industrial town of Jiguuna.

It had all started less than an hour ago.

The unnamed Houk had shown up suddenly at the entrance of Nem’ro’s Palace, calling out the Hutt and bellowing a series of extraordinarily graphic and imaginative threats against Nem’ro’s person.

This had initially been little cause for concern to Linh and most of the other occupants of the palace at the time, who initially took this development for a rather convoluted suicide attempt. This Houk was clearly insane and was looking for a way to die.

Then Nem’ro’s guards had converged to intercept the intruder… and they had been the ones who started dying.

The amused indifference of the populace had turned to concern and then to fear.

Then the fear had turned to panic.

As the Houk made his way through the palace, killing anyone in his path in a merciless onslaught, everything had descended into chaos. Every second the Houk had spent viciously cleaving his way through defenders with his vibro-blade was a second where resistance seemed to melt away.

The panic had turned to rioting, as everyone’s immediate goals had shifted.

It wasn’t just the Houk’s doing, of course. Had all the guards, servants, hangers-on and guests in Nem’ro’s palace bravely united to stand against the assailant, they surely would have taken him down eventually.

Surely. Linh thought to herself in reassurance, even though she was not completely certain at all.

Many of the occupants of Nem’ro’s palace were perfectly willing enough to feign bravery when the odds were overwhelmingly in their favor and there was a chance for personal gain. But they were quick to turn and flee the moment that equation was in doubt.

No. This crisis was the result of people on Hutta fearing something else more than they feared a Hutt. The instant that happened, all bets were off. Tomorrow, or a year from now, a new equilibrium would inevitably reemerge, with some other Hutt in charge.

No one cared about that now.

The majority of these people simply wanted to survive today.

Far worse than these sheep were the many individuals in the palace and throughout Jiguuna who had instinctively started taking advantage of the chaos. Many saw the opportunity to finish old scores with a rival at a moment when they figured they could get away with it. One or two were petty enough to simply took the chance to mug some of the wealthier patrons of the lord of Jiguuna. A few even risked looting the treasures of the Hutt’s palace.

Fools. Linh thought to herself. She didn’t know how many of these opportunists had made it out of the palace, but she had to assume it wasn’t many. No amount of credits (or personal satisfaction) were worth your life.

Not when everything is falling into anarchy. Linh thought to herself.

She heard fighting – or rioting – in the distance. She counted herself lucky.

For her own part, by the time the intruder had stormed through the palace cantina, where Linh usually spent her days, she had wisely made herself scarce, slipping out into the streets of Jiguuna in the confusion as she gripped her hold-out blaster.

Linh was an observer. By training and inclination. Now she finally had a moment to reflect on what she had observed during her final moments in the palace. Most of it seemed irrelevant. Who was running. Who was fighting. Why was dying.

One thing she was certain of was that Nem’ro’s luck had finally run out.

At what seemed to have been the penultimate moment, only one of Nem’ro’s remaining lieutenants, Carnus, seemed willing to take up the challenge posed by his fellow Houk. The two had come to blows in the cantina, even while Nem’ro could be heard bellowing down the passageway in a panic for more of his guards to come to his side to defend his bulk, and offering outrageous rewards to whomever could end the threat to his life.

When even Carnus had fallen beneath the newcomer’s rampage, the writing on the wall had become clear: Nem’ro the Hutt was doomed. No one else would be willing to die for the Hutt. It was simply a matter of survival now, and who could run the fastest.

If the Lord of Jiguuna wasn’t already dead, he would be soon.

Still outside, cocooned in her moment of clarity, Linh realized that it was a fall that had been a long time coming. Things had seemed to be slowly deteriorating in Jiguuna for nearly two years.

It started with Karrels Javis. She decided.

He had been Nem’ro’s most capable and reliable lieutenant before he’d been killed. He was certainly capable of violence, but Javis had understood that violence was a tool and not philosophical approach to everyday life. He’d been pragmatic and reasonable, usually taking pains to avoid putting decisions to his boss when the Hutt’s temper was acting up.

Officially, Javis had met his end by an assassination team sent by Nem’ro’s rival, Voontara Fa'athra.

(Linh knew better than to believe that story.)

Nem’ro’s reprisals against Fa'athra’s supporters had been unprecedented even by Hutt levels. Armed with a data file retrieved from Voontara Fa'athra’s palace by the so-called ‘Red Blade’, there had been a bloodbath in Jiguuna with dozens of Fa'athra’s supposed sympathizers in the town purged on Nem’ro’s orders.

Still. Linh thought to herself. Despite his cold-bloodedness, the Blade she’d briefly met, that supposed pirate – with his cool, emerald eyes and chiseled jawline – had been capable. Very capable. He was just the sort of person I could have used to get off Hutta, now.

Unfortunately, he was far from here, on some job or another that she couldn’t even imagine.

It had taken weeks for the city to calm down.

Even after the dust had settled from the purges, and even after the victory celebrations Nem’ro had held when Fa’athra had fled Hutta in apparent defeat, there was a sullen air to the place. As if whatever little vitality Jiguuna could have claimed before had been sapped, and things were continuing purely on momentum.

Illustrating her point in fact, just a few weeks ago, Nem’ro had come down with a rare flesh-eating disease, placing the Hutt’s life – and his sizable bulk – in jeopardy. This development had led to considerable tension among the Hutt’s various lieutenants and supporters, as everyone jockeyed for position should Nem’ro ‘tragically’ pass away. There had been a number of killings, discreetly passed off as ‘isolated incidents’ by Nem’ro’s security, and Linh was fully convinced that there’d have been an outbreak of open infighting throughout the organization if it had lasted any longer.

Fortunately for what still counted for the status quo in Jiguuna – and for Nem’ro, personally – a Republic doctor had arrived one day at the palace before that came to pass, having heard of the Hutt’s plight. Linh had noted he’d been on ‘watch list’ for her true employer, as the man had previously worked for the Balmorran Resistance and had more recently been working with some upstart Jedi Knight running around the galaxy. This doctor apparently had enough pull to get an appointment with the Hutt, and within a few days, Nem’ro was on the road to recovery.

Even with Nem’ro cured, however, things had never quite gotten back to normal in Jiguuna. There was too much bad blood by then. Too much pressure on Nem’ro’s organization to produce refined fuel to cover his trade agreements with the Sith Empire. Too much lost inertia. Too many people with too many ‘what if’ thoughts.

It had been a powder keg. And the attacking Houk had lit the wick.

Now she was outside the palace, and the only person on Hutta who knew that her real name wasn’t Linh and that she wasn’t just a small-time private fence with a pretty face working out of Nem’ro’s cantina was lying dead at her feet.

Lycus Mattle had (officially) been a freelance hired gun in Jiguuna, occasionally taking jobs with Nem’ro’s gang. An older mercenary, he was respected enough that the local ruffians usually gave him a wide berth. He usually made a place for himself just outside the palace at the bazaar, should anyone seek to hire him.

He had also been, like Linh, an operative of Imperial Intelligence, and a subject of the Sith Empire.

And now he was dead, with multiple blaster wounds having caught him in the chest.

Linh also spotted a trio of slain Rodians lying nearby. She recalled them having visited the palace earlier that day, planning some scheme or another. Apparently when they had fled the carnage, they had decided that their best bet was to kill the lone, human gunman, take his weapons, and then to decide what to do next to get away from the carnage.

Lycus Mattle may have been old for being a supposed merc. (Truth, he was older still for being a field operative of Imperial Intelligence.) But he had taken all three of his attackers with him.

Linh found herself taking some small satisfaction from that fact. Over these last two years, the older agent had become a partner to her; part mentor, part confidante and part protector should anyone on Hutta ever give her too much trouble. She was glad he’d given better than he got.

But that didn’t change the reality that her only real ally – and her best chance of getting off Hutta alive – was now gone. Linh knew how to use her holdout blaster, and she’d received basic self-defense training. But she had no illusions as to how long she’d last in a deteriorating hellhole like Jiguuna, much less if she ran into that Houk.

She processed all of that as her fingertips gently lowered Lycus’ eyelids.

“You were a good partner, Lycus.” She whispered to herself, unexpectedly finding herself wiping a tear from her eye. “The best.”

‘Lycus’ hadn’t been his real name, of course, any more than ‘Linh’ had been hers. But in the two years she’d been on Hutta, it had been the only name she’d ever known him by. She didn’t know his real name and it was unlikely she ever would. ‘Lycus’ would have to do.

Now he was rotting in a trench on Hutta, and she didn’t even have the time to bury him properly.

Fortunately for her, she didn’t need Lycus to be alive to help her out of this predicament.

Linh looked around the plaza again to make sure the coast was clear.

She needn’t have worried about being observed. The whole area seemed completely abandoned. People had either fled for cover or had decided now was as good a time as any to engage in violence elsewhere in the town. Nem’ro may have been a ruthless crime lord, but as had been the case in the palace, his authority had also been the only thing holding some people back.

And that was gone now. She continued to hear the sounds of unrest in the distance. People were dying. But she didn’t have time to think about that.

Residing in the palace as she normally did, Linh could have been searched by Nem’ro’s security at any time. (Indeed, more than one visitor to the palace had found themselves wearing a slave collar for carrying around unauthorized contraband.) So it made sense for Lycus to keep their ‘sensitive equipment’.

Taking a deep breath, Linh carefully detached Lycus’ weapons harness and utility belt from his body and reached into his vest. A moment later, now holding his pass-key, Linh inserted it into her deceased partner’s holo-transmitter.

By itself, the equipment was mundane. Only a thorough inspection by a skilled engineer would have uncovered any anomalies in its manufacture.

Linh took off her necklace from inside her blouse and carefully snapped the pendant in two. She then held the now-exposed circuits against the power cell compartment of the holo-transmitter until they seamlessly slid into place, completing the circuit. After a few moments diode on the advice turned red.

Excellent. Linh smiled. The direct line was secure and would be all but untraceable.

“This is Infiltrator Ninety-nine.” Linh’s voice had changed, but she kept her voice low as she spoke into the transmitter. “Requesting immediate extraction. Confirmation Code Delta-Beta-Nine-Four. Please respond.”

With that, she exhaled. It was the first time in years that she’d used her own voice. An Imperial voice. It felt liberating, really.

A moment later, the holo display started to flicker.

She had expected a junior Watcher to pick up her communications signal at headquarters in Kaas City. Or perhaps – if the Watchers were hard-pressed with the war effort at the moment – a Minder or at least a Fixer. Following protocol, they would direct an Intelligence Asset Recovery Team to her aid, and get her off this cesspit of a world.

Instead, she saw only a rotating Imperial Insignia appear in the holo display, as an automated voice spoke.

“Attention all personnel: By the order of the Dark Council, Imperial Intelligence has been dissolved. Any and all ongoing operations are hereby terminated. You are ordered to immediately report to Dromund Kaas for reassignment to the Imperial Military. Long live the Emperor.”

The holo-display went dead.

Linh’s jaw dropped in shock.

No. she silently whispered to herself. Impossible. It couldn’t be true.

She attempted to toggle the call button again for a few futile moments.

Nothing.

Her free hand the nearby tent pole for support. If she hadn’t been crouched down, she’d probably have fallen over.

The implications of this announcement were staggering.

The Sith Empire was over a thousand years old. And Imperial Intelligence had been a part of it since the beginning, cleaning up the messes of the Sith and the Imperial military.

Oh, there had been purges of the service throughout that history. Usually due to some perceived operational failure or another. Occasionally a Minister of Intelligence would be “retired” and the powers that be would insist on “changes in personnel” to make way for the new regime.

But for the Empire to dissolve the service now at the peak of its war with the Galactic Republic…

Madness. She thought to herself. Without Imperial Intelligence, there would be chaos. Not just for the Empire, but with respect to her immediate situation.

Linh needed assistance just safely getting off Hutta, much less getting back to Dromund Kaas.

She’d been Informer-99 for the last three years. She had hoped to be promoted to ‘Minder’ someday, perhaps eventually serve as a station chief on some planet with a more enjoyable climate. (After spending so long on Hutta, Alderaan sounded positively divine.)

All her career goals were gone now. Dead as Lycus.

Dead as Imperial Intelligence. She thought to herself.

She felt her breathing start to become more rapid as she continued to process.

And what sort of future could she expect if she even made it back to the Imperial capital?

A career in the Imperial Military would be a dead end for her, and a waste of her talents. At best, she’d be stranded in some subordinate clerical position in the Ministry of Logistics, running statistical reports and fetching caff for her superiors.

At worse, she’d be pressed into an auxiliary combat battalion where all her intelligence would be wasted, and she’d be killed off in some useless battle or another.

No. She stopped herself. At worse, I’ll be indentured directly to one of the Sith.

She shivered at the thought, remembering all the stories she’d heard at the academy.

Nothing could be worse than that.

Linh felt her grip on the comm device tighten further.

The Empire had abandoned her. It was no longer home.

She felt a sense of panic start to grow. And then the anger of the injustice of it all.

No. She stopped herself again. That was what her instructors at the academy had trained her not to do.

Unlike Sith, operatives did not have the luxury of giving into their anger. Angry agents made mistakes, as did agents in a state of despair.

If she was to survive, she had to think clearly. She had to remain calm.

She had to remember her training.

After a moment, she felt her breathing relax and her brain started to work again.

First things first. Linh decided to herself, following her training.

Dealing with the immediate situation had to be her priority.

She dropped the holo-communicator on the ground and rose to her feet. Pulling out her holdout blaster, she pointed it at the discarded device.

Then she fired twice.

In a flash, the only physical evidence connecting her to Imperial Intelligence on Hutta had been destroyed in a smoking wreck.

Linh exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been keeping.

It feels cathartic. She allowed herself a grim smirk.

Next order of business.

I can’t stay on Hutta. Linh concluded. She’d seen enough conflict among the Hutts to know that sooner or later, and probably sooner, the Cartel would move in to fill the gap left by Nem’ro’s sudden ‘absence’. Once that happened, anyone still around who had even been in the palace at the time of the attack would either be shot on sight or they’d find themselves indentured and sent to the gas mines.

The Hutts did not take betrayal well. By their logic, every resident of Jiguuna should have sacrificed themselves to save Nem’ro. To show clemency to Nem’ro’s surviving supporters would only encourage dissent and disloyalty in other Hutt courts and territories.

She had to get away from the Houk, the Hutt Cartel and the Empire. If she were lucky, she and Lycus would be presumed dead in the paperwork. If not, she’d be a wanted renegade.

But first, she had to get off Hutta.

She had identified the problem. Now she needed to find a solution.

What are my assets? She continued following the steps of her training.

She regarded her holdout blaster.

Honestly, it had been no more than a deterrent in the Palace. Virtually anyone on Hutta would have outgunned her in a shootout, and if she did run into that Houk, it would count for nothing.

She had a few credits on her, but if people were already fleeing to the spaceport in a panic, she doubted those would be enough to get her anywhere.

Nothing drove up inflation like a life-or-death situation.

Thinking to herself, she dug through her hidden pockets and pulled out a thin piece of plastic. Carefully unpeeling a label, she regarding the revealed card.

Her backup identity. Not her identity as ‘Linh’, small-time criminal on Hutta. Nor her ‘real name’ she’d been born with in the Empire. But a new one entirely.

Jheeg – the local Arcona fixer who Intelligence had once worked with – had been killed after several security failures involving that business with the agent impersonating the Red Blade. (Linh had privately suspected that Lycus himself had done the job on Jheeg, though she could never prove it and she knew better than to ask.) Jheeg had once provided her and Lycus with backup cover identities if they ever needed to suddenly flee the planet. (Lycus had insisted on the precaution; he never really talked about what he’d done for Imperial Intelligence before this assignment, but it was now clear to her that he had been jaded by his career and was aware of the possibility of a situation such as this arising.)

The identity was still valid; or at least it’d be valid enough in a pinch. It wouldn’t have fooled a review by Imperial Intelligence, she was sure. But if Intelligence no longer existed, it just might fool the Empire.

Regardless, she could build a new life for herself.

But all that would have to start with getting off Hutta.

Her training kicked in again:

Who are my allies?

Rex Geer might have been persuaded to help her. He’d bought her a drink or two at the cantina, and she’d considered taking things further to cement a potentially valuable contact. But Nem’ro’s top street lieutenant – who had led the defense against Fa’athra’s incursion during their conflict – had been one of those killed during the unrest from Nem’ro’s illness a few weeks past.

Stabbed in the back in a back-alley. Linh recalled to herself, with regret. Like as not, his own men had killed him just for the prospect of a promotion.

Oren Ward would have been another potential ally. The bounty hunter had fostered a ‘school-boy crush’ on her, Linh knew. But he and Burnok had departed Hutta months ago for greener pastures after Oren had recovered from his carbonite imprisonment at Fa’athra’s palace.

She tried to think of another protector-type who might still be alive and willing to help her. She came up empty.

It doesn’t look good. Linh admitted to herself, as she tried to reconsider the situation.

In truth, obtaining the services of a ‘hero gunman’ to defend her was a secondary concern, even if having such a champion would have been reassuring. By now, she was convinced that the Houk could have torn through anyone she could think of if he spotted her, possibly even a Sith or a Jedi.

What she really needed was someone with the credits and the connections to get her through the spaceport and off-planet. If it was already locked down by the Cartel’s people, she’d need someone with Nem’ro’s security codes to get off-planet.

She smiled grimly to herself as a stroke of inspiration came to her mind.

Fortunately, Linh had realized that she knew of just the right person who could provide both.

Surprisingly, getting back into the palace had been a simple affair. Evidently, nearly everyone still capable of walking had already fled by now.

Linh knew she was taking a huge risk just coming back here, but she saw no other options. If her quarry was still alive, they’d be inside. As she made her way through the cantina, she tried not to pay any mind to the corpses she was stepping over. She’d known many of these people for the past two years, and while she personally found most of them unpleasant, she also knew that looking at their dead faces now could easily plunge her into a pit of despair.

None of that would help her.

She made her way down the corridor, holdout blaster drawn and at the ready.

Remember your training. Linh reminded herself for what felt like the tenth time. She was no true field operative. She’d known from the start at the Academy that she never be a Cipher agent. But she knew how to navigate a dangerous building. Certainly, one that she’d lived at for two years.

She carefully snuck past the receiving chamber to the throne room. She could hear sounds from within that didn’t sound remotely human or sentient, for that matter. Not ‘fighting’ sounds exactly, but…

No. she continued on. I won’t think about that.

As she finally approached her destination, hoping against hope that her target was still inside, she nearly tripped over some wreckage on the floor. Looking down, she recognized it as the remains of P8-47, the astromech droid that frequently acted as one of Nem’ro’s messengers.

The droid had been sweet to her on occasion, and she’d once considered recruiting him as a source. She’d discarded the idea, however; he’d been frightfully loyal to Nem’ro.

Pity. Linh steeled herself from the discovery as she continued down the hall into the next chamber, peeking around the corner.

Two Twi’leks were standing within, with the larger male gripping the younger female’s wrist violently.

“The credits, girl!” Toth'lazhen hissed, slapping the beleaguered woman across the cheek as she cried out.

One of Nem’ro’s senior lieutenants, Toth'lazhen had risen to pre-eminence after the death of Karrels Javis. His reputation for brutality had endeared himself to the Hutt.

Linh had been carefully studying Toth'lazhen for some time now as part of her duties to Imperial Intelligence. The Twi’lek lieutenant normally spoke in the perfect Huttese of his boss.

The fact that he was now speaking his native Twi'leki was telling. If nothing else, based on that fact alone, she’d know that Nem’ro was finished.

Linh had always assessed him as something of a fool and a brute. Today, she was seeing evidence to support that opinion.

Unfortunately, his present victim was the one she’d been seeking.

Juda was a young but highly intelligent green-skinned Twi’lek, unusually amiable for a resident of Nem’ro’s palace. For the past two years or so, she’d served as Nem’ro’s paymaster, taking over when his old accountant, an old human cyborg named Yalt, had made the mistake of going over to Fa’athra’s side.

(She did not want to think about the price Yalt had paid for that mistake. Juda had proven more reliable.)

Today, Linh had decided that Juda was her best chance of getting off Hutta.

Apparently, Toth'lazhen had decided the same thing.

“Please.” Juda cried out, struggling against his grasp. “Let me go! I’m just trying to get out of here.”

Toth'lazhen slapped the girl again as she cried out. Linh noted a bruise forming beneath Juda’s eye.

“You can run once I have Nem’ro’s money.” He snarled.

Part of Linh’s mind, trained for ruthless pragmatism, related to Toth'lazhen’s position. He was self-interested individually willing to do whatever it took to get off Hutta alive.

The same applies to me. Linh admitted.

On the other hand, he had turned his back to the doorway. And something about the way he was abusing Juda did not sit well with the suddenly unemployed Imperial operative.

His mistake.

Linh scowled, as the major domo raised his hand to strike the weeping girl again. Any thought of negotiating with Toth'lazhen had fled her mind.

The holdout blaster – set for silent mode – was relatively low-power. But she was less than five meters from the attacking Twi’lek, with more than enough time to put three rounds through his back.

If Toth'lazhen tried to scream out in pain, that scream was cutoff with the second round. The third was only for certainty’s sake.

Juda blinked in surprise as her attacker fell dead to the floor, looking up at her erstwhile rescuer.

The two women’s eyes met. Much to Linh’s surprise, as she gazed into the Twi’lek’s violet irises, she felt herself gulp.

Was it the adrenaline? The fact that Toth'lazhen was the first person she’d ever killed with her own hand? The look of gratitude in Juda’s pretty, violet eyes?

“Thank you.” The young Twi’lek whispered, falling back into her desk chair in relief. She held herself gingerly, slowly rocking back and forth.

Linh silently nodded, swallowing and lowering her blaster. Her throat felt dry. Whatever guilt she felt for killing the Twi’lek was being suppressed by the adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

“Toth'lazhen would have killed me.” Juda said quietly continued, swallowing. “Or worse, he would have sold me off to slavers. Before he even got off planet. The moment he had as much of Nem’ro’s money as he could get his hands on. When he didn’t need me anymore. That’s why I didn’t give into him.”

She looked away, sniffing.

“I’d have been a loose end.”

Loose end. Linh thought to herself. She herself was now a loose end to the Empire, her years of training and service amounting to nothing. She was on her way down; she had to find a way up. Who better to…

Out of the corner of her consciousness, she spotted Juda eyeballing the still-drawn blaster.

Jarred back to the present, Linh put away her weapon, calmly.

“I’m not Toth'lazhen.” She offered reassuringly, glancing down at the dead lieutenant. “If you can help me get off planet, maybe I can help you, too.”

Juda nodded, glancing over at a satchel on her desk.

“I can do that. I was right about to run for it myself when Toth found me.”

Linh tried processing the young woman’s reaction. With the immediate threat removed, her practical intelligence seemed to shine though. She found it refreshing. Inspiring, even.

“You don’t have anyone else here on Hutta?” Linh asked.

That question seemed to strike a nerve. The Twi’lek flinched, closing her eyes in pain as her body rocked back and forth again.

“My mother… passed away a couple of months ago.” Juda’s lip trembled. “Nem’ro didn’t even give me the day off to go to her funeral.”

Linh recalled that she hadn’t seen a family member in years. She had no way of knowing if her parents or brothers were even still alive by now. Nevertheless, she felt a wellspring of sympathy bubbling within her for the young Twi’lek.

“I’m sorry.” She murmured awkwardly. She quickly decided to change the subject. “So. You had a plan to get out? Or just sneak past the Houk?”

Juda took a breath as she gathered herself, gazing down at Toth'lazhen’s corpse absent-mindedly.

“There’s an underground tunnel.” She explained. “It runs along the old gas pipes beneath the town. The entrance is hidden behind the bar in the corner.”

Juda pointed. Linh recalled there was hardly a room in the palace that didn’t have its own bar.

“It comes out west of the palace, near the spaceport. Nem’ro never thought he’d need a way out of his own palace, but Karrels knew he might.”

The Twi’lek smirked.

“He had me budget the construction as ‘palace defenses’. Poor guy just never had the chance to make it out when his time came.”

Linh smiled appreciatively.

“So. That tunnel gets us to the port. Any ideas about what happens next?”

Juda returned the smile, clearly emboldened by the praise. The attractive Twi’lek had drawn plenty of looks since she’d started working at the palace. It was a good bet that up until today, few had been foolish enough to make a move on Nem’ro’s paymaster, especially not after what happened to his previous accountant.

Neither of us work here anymore. Linh thought to herself.

“I know Mekks, the communications officer at the spaceport.” Juda assured her. “He knows how the Cartel operates, and how to make it look like someone shot their way out of there without getting anyone killed… in return for a sizable bribe, of course.”

“Of course.” Linh found herself smiling sincerely for the first time in what felt like days. Fear and bribery were the only things that turned the gears on Hutta. “Then we just need to find a ride off-world.”

Juda’s smile widened, as she reached in and pulled a datapad out of her satchel. Linh could see a stack of pads along with credit sticks and a few strips of flimsi. Clearly, the Twi’lek had been preparing for this trip well.

“Nem’ro took possession of a small freighter last week.” Juda informed her. “Some smuggler who ditched his cargo from the Imperials.”

She bit her lip as she looked down at the records.

“I still have the access codes. And the license. By the time anyone checks, it’ll be legally ours.”

Linh let out an impressed whistle. This was more than she could have hoped for.

“Sounds like a plan.” The former Imperial operative felt everything start to fall into place. She smiled again to Juda but found the Twi’lek’s smile had suddenly grown cautious.

“And after that?” Juda asked, uncertainly.

Linh paused, remembering her earlier considerations concerning her own future. Assess potential resources. Her instructors had taught her.

To Nem’ro, Juda had been a competent, unambitious underling who always did what she was told.

To Toth'lazhen, Juda had been nothing but a source of quick credits, to be used and disposed of.

But to Linh, she could be much more.

“You know.” She began. “Between my connections, your financial skills, and Nem’ro’s credits… I think we have enough to start our own ‘consulting’ business. Look around the galaxy. Lots of people are going to need ‘special assistance’ setting up new operations for themselves with all this fallout. Conflict brings chaos. We’ve both seen that here today. But it also brings opportunity to people who know how to seize it.”

Even as she spoke, Linh felt herself gaining confidence in this plan of action. She’d need time to work out the details of course, but at least now she had a direction. Later, they could take on some hired muscle for security. Linh knew what to look for in a dependable mercenary so that she and Juda could avoid emergencies like this one in the future.

Linh finally extended an open hand towards the Twi’lek.

“Partners?” she asked.

Juda chewed her lip for a minute, regarding Linh and the offered hand.

The Twi’lek suddenly grasped Linh by the shoulders fiercely and leaned in. Juda’s lips met those of the former Informer of Imperial Intelligence, kissing her passionately. Linh felt her entire body go rigid with shock at the gesture.

It had been more than a year since she’d taken actual comfort in the touch of another, and Juda was certainly attractive. A warm feeling started to grow in the pit of her stomach.

She felt her lips and then her hands start to respond on impulse, surrendering herself to the sensation.

Juda suddenly pulled away as the stricken Imperial tried to regain her breath.

“For luck.” She offered by way of explanation, giving Linh a dazzling smile. She finally took Linh’s hand, giving it a friendly shake.

“Partners.” She declared.

Linh could only catch herself against the desk as she regained her footing and blink.

Definitely more than just a source of quick credits. She confirmed to herself.

Juda, meanwhile, had ducked behind the bar with her satchel over her shoulder. Pushing a crate and a rug out of the way, the woman opened the hidden trap door down to the tunnel, then looked back over at Linh.

“Come on.” The Twi’lek smiled. “That Houk might come poking around any minute.”

Linh swallowed and moved to comply.

As she followed Juda through the trap door and down into the escape tunnel, she felt confident she was taking the first step towards her future.

Time to climb the ladder.

THE END?

Author’s Notes: There are any number of corrupt and even ‘evil’ powers within the SWTOR story. As much as we might loathe them, it’s fascinating for me to think that if any of them suddenly weren’t there, the vacuum would make room for something even worse.

Those of you who have played the Bounty Hunter class story too many times will know from the Companion cut-scene dialogue that Skadge killed Nem’ro the Hutt off-screen, a revenge killing for an earlier betrayal that landed Skadge on Belsavis in the first place. The idea of Skadge successfully rampaging his way through Nem’ro’s palace, where we spend so much time as an Imperial Agent / Bounty Hunter at the start of the story, was fascinating to me. (How many of the NPC’s we interacted with earlier actually survived???) Skadge is probably my least favorite character in SWTOR, but the idea of him being the star boogey-man of a grisly horror film, slaughtering dozens of people, that concept intrigues me.

Each class has an NPC on their starting planet that provides a mission directing the player-character to the trainer on-planet. Linh is the NPC on Hutta that directs Imperial Agents to the on-planet trainer, Lycus Mattle. With the many changes in the game over the years, those missions are largely redundant, worth only a smidgen of XP. But some of those cutscene interactions were memorable to me, including Linh’s. I decided I had to do something with her at some point.

This story was the result.

Juda is another fun character from the Bounty Hunter story. She’s Nem’ro’s paymaster on Hutta, and later unwittingly engages in some minor skullduggery during the Great Hunt. Fortunately, my own bounty hunter, Xadya, chose not to hold her indiscretions against her. (Mako would not have approved if Xadya had taken Juda out!)

As always, I love the idea that our characters leave a deep mark on the places they visit, for good and for ill. Gahraath Vaiken, my Cipher Nine in the Halcyon Legacy, was rather vicious when he started out as an Imperial Agent on Hutta, a bit too eager to demonstrate his own ruthlessness. He’d eventually mellow a good deal, but at the time, Linh was both physically attracted to him while simultaneously left with the impression of a cold-blooded killer who would easily dispose of her if it suited his mission.

(Which he absolutely was. But like I said, he’s softened a good bit by the end of the class story.)

Virtually every name I dropped within this story is an actual NPC from the missions on Hutta. (And some of you may also have picked up on an appearance by a certain unnamed mustached field medic companion from another of the class stories. 🤓)

The ‘Informers’ title is, in fact, a specific canon designation within the old Imperial Intelligence organization, much like Ciphers, Watchers, Minders and Fixers. They aren’t mentioned in the game itself; they do come up in The Old Republic: Fatal Alliance novel where Ula Vii is presented as an example. Something we don’t talk about enough is the impact the dissolution of Imperial Intelligence would have on the Empire and the greater galaxy, especially at the peak of the war. You’re literally talking about hundreds or thousands of agents and operatives either completely cutoff from the Empire without recourse or suddenly pressed into the service of the Sith or to an Imperial Military that treats them like cannon-fodder. (Remember how Cipher Nine was treated on Corellia?) The fallout from that sudden absence would be profound for the Empire, as well. Imperial Intelligence literally existed for centuries, and nature abhors a vacuum.

No wonder Marr had to establish Sith Intelligence a few years later. Their entire system would have been in a perpetual state of collapse without it.

I tweaked the layout of the palace a little bit for narrative reasons. It’s significantly larger here, which makes sense given how many people seem to live there.

The Informer-Ninety-Nine moniker is an Easter Egg reference to “Get Smart”. (A show waaaay before my time. I’m old, but not that old.) It just tickled me, so I tossed that in.

The ‘For luck’ kiss is an obvious homage to the scene from Episode IV: A New Hope. (Don’t worry – Juda and Linh aren’t related. 😉 ) Further, Juda’s line about a smuggler’s freighter was a Han Solo & Jabba reference.

Tagging @oolathurman , as they once mentioned she loved the character of Juda.

Also tagging!

@a-master-procrastinator @anchanted-one @distressed-gizka @eorzeashan @justiceforc3po @kemendin @magicallulu7 @nikkeisimmer @sadiebwrites @the-cloudwatcher @the-raven-of-highever @tishinada @zabrakghoul @swtorhub

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