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cherievol6 · 2 years

Text

crying in the backseat

DAMNNN this one hurt kind of. inspired by one of my fave lana songs ever. i wrote this really fast, so it’s not edited, but enjoy. also my uk girlies how are we dealing with this heatwave, i for one cannot move x

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

warnings: swearing, loving someone unattainable

word count: around 1000

"Let me at least get you a jumper, you're shivering." He muttered, unlocking his sleek black car in the car park and grabbing it from the boot. You feel embarrassment try and edge its way in, but you’re not regretful for barging into the bar and confronting Harry.

“Don’t try and pretend like you care about me right now, Harry.”

He slams the boot shut and looks at you with a frown. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I care about you.”

“Oh I’m sorry, skipping your best friend’s birthday meal for your ex-girlfriend’s party-”

“PR girlfriend.” He seethes.

“-deserves a fucking Saint’s award, my mistake.” You roll your eyes, turning your head away when he wraps the jacket over your shoulders.

“She told me it was a work thing! Something about some legal shit we need to re-sign about the whole PR thing.”

“And that couldn’t have waited?” You snap. “I shouldn’t have to find you in some random bar in Soho, whilst I’m already upset that the one person I wanted to show up tonight didn’t.” Your voice goes higher and higher in octave as you reach the end of your sentence, your throat closing up and sinuses blocking to prepare an outpouring of tears. You were gutted, especially after seeing his tattooed arm in the corner of a video of his ex girlfriend cheering and pouring shots whilst you were holding back tears at your birthday dinner.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” Sarah mumbles, prying your phone from your fingertips and glaring down at the phone with a stoned face.

“I thought he was at a meeting-” you say quietly, looking around to see if anyone noticed the commotion.

“Oh Y/N. I’m so sorry.” She panders you as you feel tears springing to their ducts. You fan your eyes discreetly and Sarah ushers you off to the bathroom.

“I can’t keep doing this. I think he has feelings for her, Sar.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N. Their relationship was to boost her new book, remember? If he had feelings for her, they’d be dating right now.” She says pointedly with an eyebrows raised, patting away your running mascara.

“Why are feelings so shit?”

“I don’t know, but I think life’s to short to not tell someone you love them. You might just get a surprise.”

“I’m sorry. How many times do I need to say it?” He pleads. “I genuinely thought this was a business meeting, that’s why I told you. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

You don’t reply, looking out at the bustling streets and wiping your eyes.

“And how am I supposed to believe you? You’re not giving me much convincing evidence that you’re a reliable person, Harry.”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes taking in your body closed off in defence, completely opposite to how relaxed and close you usually are with him.

"I think we should call a taxi." His voice breaks as he says it, sighing and tapping away on his phone, trying to ignore the tears that were free falling from your eyes.

You hug his sweatshirt closer around your body as the cries silently rack your body, he doesn't even stand close to you. His perfectly tailored suit mocks your feeble state and you feel the most out place you've ever felt. Here you are, crying your pathetic eyes out whilst Harry's watch is ticking down the time that he's away from his celebrity life, a private bar bustling with big names that mean so much more than you.

“Trying to get rid of me now?”

"What? No! You’re worked up and need to go home. Please stop crying." He softens, trying to reach out his arm. You scoff at his audacity to tell you to stop, when he was the perpetrator for your emotional state.

"Fuck off." You mutter, stepping away and trying to pull his jumper off you. He looks more than hurt at your words, but you can’t bring yourself to be nice to him.

"Stop it, for God's sake, it's too cold for you to be out here without a jacket." He huffs as he tugs the black zip up back over your shoulders despite your protests.

Moments of silence pass as the noise from the surrounding streets fills your ears.

“You need to learn your priorities, Harry.”

“You are one of my priories! You’re literally one of the only people, who isn’t my blood, that I care about.” He’s frustrated now, hands raking through his hair.

“Don’t spew that bullshit at me, if I was, you would have been there.” And you would love me back, you wanted to add, but couldn’t muster up the courage.

The tears begin to dry and you pinch the side of your thigh to shake yourself back to earth, trying to get your thoughts straight. You suck in a shaky breath and let out the final point you had been wanting to make for months after a multitude of occasions when Harry decided to prioritise his work over your commitments.

“Y/N-”

“I think we should put some distance between us for a bit. I need to get my head straight.” You say firmly through the stuffiness of your throat. He gapes, unable to come up with something to say, his own eyes brimming with tears.

“No, please. I don’t want to put distance between us, Y/N. You’re my best friend- I can’t do this without you, y’know.” His speech is frantic now. The word best friend drives an imaginary stake through the centre of your chest.

“You have other friends, Harry. Lots of other friends, that apparently you have more time for than me.”

The taxi, or rather, Harry’s casual chauffeur, mounts the gravel, signalling the end of a conversation.

“Y/N, let me come with you, I have something important to talk to you about-”

“I don’t want you to come with me.” You say quietly. I do.

“Please.” He tries again, eyes bloodshot and teary. This strikes up the waterworks in your body as well, and you simply shake your head, climbing into the back and slamming the door.

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry’s driver greets you through the mirror, and you smile back, asking him politely to take you home.

As he’s pulling out from the parking spot, you glance out the window with bleary eyes and jot tears streaming down your face, seeing Harry stood there like a ghost. His posture makes him seem defeated, eyes looking at the back window sadly, unable to see you through the blackout of the glass.

In the rear view mirror you see Jeff stalk outside, and although they’re far, you don’t miss him embrace Harry tightly, prompting you to look away and grip his jumper between your fingers, thinking about the words Sarah said to you.

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

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meowzilla93 · 6 months

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If you would be so kind, headcannons about Baxter between the end of step 3 and the beginning of step 4? How he handled the breakup, what he was like in college, etc. ☺️

I apparently cannot give this man a break

I love him so much but gods he was just such a moron

Alright

Lets go

So night of the breakup, where he is being a prick and making excuses to leave you

He goes back inside after that line ‘if I could take back the days we spent together I would’

Oh you better believe that he is trying to justify all the cruel things he said

‘it was never going to work out’ ‘they deserve better’ ‘they were going to forget me anyways’

All this is happening whilst his heart and gut are doing somersaults

But he follows his stupid brain because of course he is right

Cant sleep that night, pulls an all nighter before he needs to call the taxi to take him to the airport

Try as he might, he cant get that sick feeling from his stomache

Doesn’t really eat for a few days, until he has to

Gets to Virginia, unpacks his bags and lo and behold

There is the souvenir you got him

He just sits on the bed holding onto it, numb

After a few moments of fighting with himself about what he should do, he puts the gift away

From prying eyes, from his own eyes

A treasure to be kept safe

But one to leave alone until maybe he is ready one day

And so start the flings once again

One night stands just so that he can rid his mind of you

Surely a 3 month summer romance shouldnt keep a hold onto his heart as much as it had

So he will do anything to shift it

So he focus on schooling, and being sociable, and dealing with his family

After a while, everything else takes precedence and you don’t occupy his thoughts as often anymore

He gets notifications that you sent a message, but he wont allow himself to read them

You will forget him, there is no point reading the messages, besides, they could be hurtful to him and gods he just doesn’t want to know the truth of what you feel for him

It could actually break his heart

A few years pass, our man can drink without issue now!

And maybe one night he has a bit much

Meets up with a pretty someone at a function, goes back to their place for a fling

But there is a problem

There is just something about them that reminds him of you

But no, that’s not possible so he pushes it out of his mind

That is until he inadvertently whispers your name

Mans goes from 100 to 0 real fucking quick

Apologizes, goes back to his place and just sits on his bed

He takes out his phone, considering to look at those messages you sent him time and time again, but he just cant

So instead he goes looking for your gift, and takes it out to look at once again

And the memories flood back to him, and he just quietly sits there and cries

Once he is done, he puts the gift on display, he doesn’t want to keep those memories hidden anymore

He hurt you, he knew he did but he cant help but be so grateful for the time he had with you, the fun and laughter and love he had during that time

He should at least keep those memories alive and not hide them away

That doesn’t mean he will go out of his way to make new friends, no sir

Twice now, he made friends with people, cared about these people, and hurt them with his antics

He cannot do that again

So he puts on the air of the professional fancy man, puts on the mask of the perfect gentlemen and finishes his schooling and starts his career

One that of course that doesn’t require him to make friends, just work acquaintances

Throughout uni, he was that really sociable, affable guy

Touch strange, very elegant but nice regardless

Some of the other students found him very attractive, some got to spend the night with him and experience the slight cold shoulder afterward

It was only for fun after all, and he made sure that they went into it with that knowledge

Was known for being a top tier student once again, but there just wasn’t a bad rumor circulating around him this time

Probably the most amount of peace he has had in a while, if lonely

Oh but his parents

Try as he might, some holidays he just couldn’t get out of seeing his parents, mainly because they wouldn’t spend it in Golden Grove and they would find a way to twist his arm about it

One such outing, his parents where their obnoxious selves and they finally said something that snapped that thin string of patience he had with them

Without raising his voice, he advised he wanted nothing further to do with them, he doesn’t hold the same ideals as they do and never wants to

Cuts all ties and removes himself from their funds, forcing himself to fend for himself and earn his way in the world

I think this was the first official time he was happy after all that he did in his life

The first time he did what HE wanted and what made HIM happy, he is just sad he didn’t do it sooner

And so a few years passes, he finishes uni, starts working at a company, and repeats the cycle of being affable enough for people to feel comfortable around, but put up walls to avoid having anyone get too close to him

Though Xavier has something to say about that and start to slowly chisel away at those walls of his

He picks up an event that needs to be prepped and completed in 5 days, a worthy challenge for him

But low and behold when he meets for dinner with the party, there you are, 5 years on

You look as beautiful as the day he walked away, and you walk with an air that would make anyone stand to attention

And your eyes meet, and all there is, is shock

He really hoped you would never meet again, not because he didn’t care but gods he cared too much

Seeing you again tore at him, it was like a waking nightmare, he didn’t want to hear what you had to say or what you really saw in him, he just wanted out

So he runs, like he ran 5 years ago and kept running

But this time, running just kept making him run back into you

keep em coming, i have so many thoughts i need to put to paper

#our life beginnings and always #olba #baxter ward #olba baxter #olba mc #our life #baxter x mc #our life headcannons

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gtgbabie0 · 10 months

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Hi! just wanted to say that i absolutely love your writing and wanted to know if you could do a Tommy Miller x reader, where Tommy has had too much to drink and Joel takes him home to you but Tommy cannot stop talking about how much he loves you and how pretty you are as you take care of him. Like just super fluffy. Thanks so much if you decide to do this! :D

Drunken love sick fool

{Tommy has had one too many, luckily for him he has you}

This is too cute!! Hope you enjoy lovely 💕

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“Don’t let him overdo it, please for love of god Joel.” Is what you had told Joel before the pair of them left for a ‘well-deserved drink or two’ you don’t mind really, in fact, you’re glad they get along so well, but goodness are they bad influences to each other, and before they know it they’ve both drank their own body weight in whiskey.

Joel only chuckled at you, saying something about how he ‘can’t promise anything’ which in turn made you sigh, knowing that tonight you might have to nurse a very drunk Tommy.

“Honey! I’ve missed you!” you hear him before you see him, shouting your name with a thick southern accent that seemed ten times stronger than usual.

You can’t help but smile when you hear Joel trying to shush him, scolding him about how he’s ��gonna wake up the whole street with his yapping’ as you grab the front door keys from the small bowl.

You wish you could be mad at him, mad at both of them but you completely melt when Tommy’s eyes meet your own, so full of love and joy as he smiles brightly at you and you feel your frustration crumble away.

“Sorry, he just-” Joel tries his hardest to come up with a good excuse as to why he’s returned your boyfriend back home to you as drunk as a skunk, but yet all that comes out is a guilty chuckle as he scratches the back of his neck with a smile.

“It’s alright Joel, but you owe me” You tell him as Tommy wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his nose against your neck as he mumbles something about how you smell like heaven.

He bites back his laughter as you try to keep his brother on both feet, “Well good luck to you, he’s been er- asking for ya” and you can tell by the teasing look that flashes through his eyes that there’s something you're not getting, and you dread to think what exactly he’s said.

You bid him your last goodbyes with Tommy still practically hanging off you before closing the door with a heavy sigh knowing you were in for a long night.

“Mm, honey- I’ve missed you” he whispers against your shoulder, hands soothing against your lower back as they slip underneath your shirt, splaying against your bare skin.

The feeling makes your skin tingle as you pull back slightly, brushing his hair behind his ear, “Missed you too baby” you whisper, breaking out into a fit of giggles as he peppers sloppy kisses all over your face.

“God, you’re so pretty, do y’know that? My lovely girl” he gasps looking at you with soft eyes as he studies your face. His hands come to rest against your hips, squeezing them softly as he continues to admire you.

“Come on let’s go get you some water” you tell him, dragging him to the kitchen. You help him to take a seat at the table before pouring him a glass of cold water.

Although he doesn’t stay seated for long at all, immediately standing back up to lean behind you, his strong arms warped around your midsection.

“Tommy I-” You can’t finish your sentence as peppers more kisses along your shoulder, his rough hands going back underneath your shirt as they rest against your belly.

“I love you” he whispers, voice laced with exhaustion as he goes on, “So, so, so much” he presses kisses between the words.

“I love you too Tommy” you giggle as you try to pry yourself away from him as he lets out a huff of dismay. He doesn't have any of it, taking no interest in your offer of some ice-cold water. No, he's adamant that the only thing he needs is you to cure his drunkness.

Time ticks by and it nears twelve am when you finally get him to drink some water as you go and get him a change of clothes and by some miracle, you’ve finally got him into bed, even if his shirt is inside out.

You sigh as you finally lay down pulling the sheets over the pair of you. Tommy's arms wrap around you as he inches himself closer to you, his head nuzzling against your shoulder as he rambles on and on about how ‘lucky he is to have such a beautiful girlfriend’ as his hands soothe against your stomach and you cant wait to tease him about it in the morning.

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shentheauthor · 1 year

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That last ask got me wondering...can I request headcanons for how the Harbingers would react if their S/O gave them flowers? 👀💐

Hell yeah let’s go (slight angst on Signora’s)

Pierro: thanks you softly and sincerely. Those flowers will be put in the nicest spot in his office for everyone to see. I hc that he likes gardening, so he would try to plant them and regrow them if he can. He is not immune to old timey rizz

Capitano: Honestly he would not expect it at all. He isn’t really the type people are “soft” for, but by god he is soft for you. He’s on the move constantly, so he doesn’t really have a safe place to put them, but he’ll keep them safe as long as he can

Dottore: “Hm, fascinating” headass NRKHKEKG. He would press the flowers and dry them to keep them as bookmarks. He might also cast them in resin as paperweights. Living things don’t tend to stay living around him for long, but he’ll preserve them in his own way. He will also lecture you on their exact classification and how the flowers’ structures work, whether you want him to or not

Columbina: weaves the flowers into a flower crown and has you wear it. She would love to see them catch the eye of other people. She isn’t easily jealous, so she takes pride in people seeing that you’re hers. Shockingly sweet for someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest

Arlecchino: she also displays the flowers in her office. She’ll snap at anyone who so much as breathes on them. A recruit lost his fingers bc he dared to touch the flowers. Arle isn’t the romantic type, but she cherishes any gift you give her

Pulcinella: another old timer, also not immune to old timey rizz. He has a big ol nose for a reason, and he will use it. Those flowers will be well cared for, and he will be v happy that he got them

Scaramouche: He’s the tsundere of the bunch, so he won’t accept the flowers if they’re given to him around anyone else, but if you’re alone, he’d give a quiet, flustered “thank you.” Followed by some narcissism bc “of course this offering won’t suffice in the future, but this is fine for now.” Asshole (affectionate)

Sandrone: She also preserves the flowers, but she’ll find a way to turn them into machines… somehow. You are very, very lucky if she hasn’t turned you into a puppet as well. Still, she appreciates the gift, and she WILL murder anyone who touches the flowers (unless it’s you) without hesitation

Signora: Rostam used to give her flowers. It would take a lot of effort to get her to open up her heart again, but if you succeed, the relationship will always have a hint of sadness behind it. She cherishes every gift, bc it may just be your last. She will keep those flowers alive at all costs, bc she doesn’t want to lose anything that has to do with you

Pantalone: money is the most important thing to him (besides you, hopefully), but he loves gifts anyway. It strokes his ego, but it also comes from a place of love he isn’t used to receiving. He especially appreciates it if the flowers are hand-picked and not bought from a store. Time is money, and taking time out of your day to do smth so small for him is touching. He will spoil you after

Tartaglia: MAN. This man is cheesy. He is CORNY. He will write you a love poem in return, deadass. He will take you flower picking. He will serenade you. This man canonically does theater, you CANNOT tell me he wouldn’t be the corniest motherfucker in a relationship (I’m projecting onto him). He will wear the flowers in his hair until they shrivel and die, and then he’ll just ask you for more so he can wear them again. He’ll take them out on the job so they don’t get ruined (and also for his reputation), but away from prying eyes, those things will not leave his hair

Hope you like these! I’m thinking ab opening up an ask blog tbh, just to reduce clutter here. We’ll see if I get the motivation and time to run it!

#genshin impact #harbinger headcanons #Shen’s headcanons #fatui harbingers #Pierro #Dottore #capitano #columbina #Arlecchino #pulcinella #scaramouche #sandrone #Signora #Pantalone #Tartaglia #hope to god I didn’t forget some wooh that’s a lot of tags #x reader #I think I’ve gotten specific enough to deserve the x reader tag 😭😭

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chaifootsteps · 3 months

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One of the many things that bugged me in the final, was Al's segment in the last few minutes, mostly because like everything in this show there was so much missed potential. So I present a part of a re-write I would love to do, this part focusing on Al because he could have been really cool and not an edge lord. Also most of this is stuff I've seen in other asks/re-writes that I think would be cool.

So Al in this version is pretty close with pilot/original Al. He was still a serial killer who loves to make deals. He has his code for killing of killing those who take advantage of the weak and most of his deals are deals of protection(ie. every time you help me, you can call on me to help you that number of times), he still makes deals for his own gain of course and is still as ominous as in the pilot. Also he functions like a warlock from dnd, with no real power of his own. Also also, he never swears at all, not once and if he does its a more old timey swear, he cannot talk with out his staff and has to perpetually smile.

Have him keep his sentiment from the pilot that he's here at the hotel for his own amusement and that he does not care about anybody in it. Have Al start of as very aloof and keep him this way for the frist 10(give or take) episodes(also give the show more episodes). Have Al never use his powers on screen have only give hints that he's as powerful as everybody says he is. Over the first season have the cast grow to like each other more Al include but much much more mildly. The main villains of s1 should be the Vs also save Heaven for last or later. So s1 final, the Vs attack the hotel or sm and the main cast + sinners who have checked in to the hotel(believing it not to be a lost cause, which also gives Charlie some extra motivation). During this have a part where Al has to use his suposed powers only to reveal that he has none or that they are extremely weak. At some point either durning or before his 7 year sabbatical they where either taken or disappears for some reason(maybe because of a deal he broke?). After this have Al use what little magic he has to teleport away leaving the hotel(because he's a coward/does not want to be seen as weak in anyway). The cast gets the Vs to leave them alone with one of Sir. Pent's machines bc he's the best and we love him.

Another thing that I want to do is show Al being aroace. Have an episode where he goes with Angel to the Vs tower just to mess with Vox but they run into Val and Alastor is very obviously uncomfortable near him, you could even have Angel notice this and try to have Val piss off.

Ok moving on to next season, Al is missing and have the gang(mostly Niffty and Husk bc in this au those three are friends and you can pry that from my dead hands. Also Husk and Al have a deal of mutual protection, they help each other out. Hell this could be another reason why Al left at the fight because he could do anything to help Husk.) start looking around pride to try and find him. They do and he immediately teleports away leading to a short chase until Al runs out of magic. Then the rest of main cast confront him about the whole ordeal. I'm not sure how exactly it goes but Al durning the whole conversation is trying to doge all questions and lie as much as he can(the main cast after this still don't know all the details but the main idea is that, Al had a deal with somebody who gave him powers when he first entered hell, maybe Lilith? And 7 years ago he broke it somehow, leaving him to disappear trying to regain lost power). Husk and Niffty manage to convince him to keep helping the hotel and probably question him more in private. I'm not sure what the rest of s2 would be about, I know that s1 is about more sinners checking into the hotel and also getting Angle away from Val. s2 Might be about Charlie finally getting to talk w/ Heaven and would you look at that they love the idea of a hotel for sinners to reform because heaven likes the exterminations about as much as hell does(exterminations are still about over population in this au). Also s2 introduces Lucifer.

I'm not quite sure what exactly happens in s3 and 4 but I know that in s3 Al starts believing in the hotel more and caring about the people in it(would he ever admit this? no.). Somebody in this season also presents him with betraying the hotel which he says no to. Idk how s4 goes but it ends with some angels(not all of them, only the most dedicated exterminators) going to hell against heavens rules to kill as many sinners as they can. They get stopped obviously but I still need to work out more details.

I'm still working on sorting out other stuff for this re-write also sorry if this is really long or annoying, I've had this sitting in my brain all week. If you don't mind I might also send asks about the other characters in the re-write

Good rewrite! Interesting stuff!

#ghosts-junk-pile #hazbin hotel critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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gayest-classiclit · 1 year

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behold, more powerpoint

this one has text in the speaker's notes so there's a cut (it'll be long)

"basically it’s hamlet fanfiction by tom stoppard and somehow he got away with it and the americans do it in their high school english classes. i’m british, so i’ve never studied it - BUT! as resident gay shakespeare powerpoint guy, i felt obligated to read it at some point. anyways i love this play and the main dumbasses are my blorbos forever and ever and you can pry them from my cold dead hands."

"good question: they are. they’re gay and probably married and they’re in love and you cannot convince me otherwise. like. look at them. look at these idiots and tell me they aren’t even a little bit fruity. exactly. you can’t. THEY TALK LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE???? legit they can understand each other almost perfectly and the other’s don’t understand shit."

"my gay brain thinks that they were sleeping in the same bed or something which is both really cute but also suspicious."

"self-explanatory."

"this is a compilation of guil comforting ros because he’s surprisingly good at that ros seems to appreciate guil’s presence and it calms him down a little. that’s good!!!"

"just… w h y why would he say this shit ‘just being friendly’ ahaha n o that is some cursed shit right there to quote one particular lord and saviour… ‘KiNkY!’ honestly those parts where guil says ’somebody might come in’ (it happens twice) are both kind of… hmm. rosencrantz foot kink real /j also ‘down ros’s throat’ THAT IS GAY."

"this is just adorable i want what they have please and thank you this becomes a bit more important in a bit btw!!"

"what do you MEAN ‘ros takes on a shifty look’ what does he know sidenote: he could be referring to hamlet too - he goes ‘you loved me once’ in og hamlet which leads me to believe ros/ham was a thing AND AND if he did do gay shit with guil, it would make sense that they hid it! Because it was forbidden-tm!!!"

"this is essentially a repeat of the toes scene. note the other ‘somebody might come in’ perhaps guil is just a closeted gay ros is genuinely trying to help his husband and i’m all for it"

"so,,,, this scene. i told you about the other coins scene, which this is a parallel to i think??? earlier on there wasn’t a coin in either hand, and now both of them have coins. this could mean a change in the boys’ situation, or maybe character development for ros - he’s becoming more aware of what’s happening also,,,, he wanted to make him happy that’s adorable hang on a sec while i cry /j"

"HE’S BEING SO SOFT I,,,,, guil can’t stay mad at ros this is evidence also,,,, dominant,,,,,"

"ok this is scraping the bottom of the barrel (hahagetit) but this is kinda gay ok the fact that they share a barrel and stick together in situations where they probably aren’t thinking??? also at this point they’re hiding from pirates, and hamlet deadass gets yoinked this could realistically take a while, i think. so it’s perfectly plausible that they might have snuck a kiss or two."

"note that guil has to ‘gather himself’ in this scene he’s alone for once, without ros to keep him company and throughout the play, he’d been kind of an asshole to ros??? instant regret, essentially maybe i’m reading too into this, this bit makes me plain sad"

"this scene wasn’t in the script originally but it’s one of the parts in the movie which stood out to me the most ros basically makes a paper airplane!! it’s a surprisingly complicated paper airplane!!! guil crushes it up like the asshole he is, which probably breaks ros’ heart at least a little bit see, the thing that stood out to me was how ros is so eager to show him the plane,,, like,,, hello husband!! i made a thing that you might like!! ros tries hard to cheer guil up from being a pissbaby all the time and that’s something i can really appreciate."

#bazposting #propaganda #propaganda: rosguil #ft. my pictures bc i couldn't find it online </3 #these are the views of 13 1/2 hayden btw #for reference i'm 15 in 3 weeks #anyways them <3

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pappydaddy · 2 years

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i wish you would (j.m.)

a/n: i wrote another, whoops... this one is pretty short (for me) only about 10 pages, a bit longer than style. anywho, hope you enjoy this one, i think i might actually stop making a/ns on every post, let me know if anyone actually reads these! i will still make them when there is something important to say, but i don't think i need to do them all the time.

anywho (for real this time), enjoy this lovelies! i am really rooting for 1989 rerecoring next!💛

tv show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

style | i wish you would (j.m.) - you're here | how to get the girl (j.m.)

synopsis: y/n finally decides to tell jj that she is tired of not having a label, but the phone call goes south when jj cannot seem to get what she is saying causing y/n to hastily hang up the phone. now they both have to deal with the consequences.

au where there was no treasure but sarah and kie mended their friendship and brought everyone together

warnings: fwb kinda gig, secret relationship (a little), angst, break-up (kinda), miscommunication, longing, heartbreak, mention of wanting monogamy

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

“Hey, Sweet cheeks,” JJ’s hushed voice answered the phone on the second ring. The sound of a door closing sounded in the background. “To what do I owe this pleasure? A booty call?” His voice went back to normal, JJ must have moved to a more private spot away from the prying ears of their nosey friends.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that, JJ.” She gnawed on her red-painted lower lip as she stood in her room. She sat on the foot of her bed, her feet resting on the edge of her bed frame, her hands running up and down her thighs in nerves.

JJ hummed flirtatiously. She could see him now, smirking, that James Dean gleam in his striking blue eyes. That image right there made her second-guess her decision to have this conversation. “Do you really? And by talk, do you mean give me specific dates and times for our escapades?” The use of the word nearly made her bow out. He knew exactly how to push her buttons to make her mad and to make her weak. He only actually used big-ish (or proper) words with her. It started to make him appear more competent, then he realized she liked it in more than one way.

“No, JJ,” She told him with a sigh. “Like actually talk talk.” She informed him clearly. JJ picked up on the slight hint of nerves in her voice, realizing the severity of the situation.

“What’s going on, Y/N, is everything okay? What’s wrong,” He asked, suddenly on edge and alert. “Did someone say something to you about us? Did they find out about us?” He rattled off more questions when she didn’t answer in a split second.

“No, nothing like that,” She shook her head despite the fact that he couldn’t see her. “But what are we,” She questioned. “Like, What do you mean by us?”

“You and me, obviously. That is what I mean by us. Our relationship-”

“That’s what I mean, JJ. Our relationship, what is it? Are we ever going to be more than what we are? Are we ever going to actually have a relationship?” She questioned a mile and minute. She was sure on the other line JJ was blinking slowly, trying to make sense of her lighting round of questions.

An unsure hum sounded over the phone. She could hear the wind as she pictured JJ looking around the area. “Y/N, I thought we were cool with what we were? I thought this was working.” He spoke low.

A frustrated sigh came out of Y/N. “JJ, we are graduating next year. I am going to go to college. We are going to go to prom, what does all of that mean for us? Do I go to prom with someone else, do you go to prom with someone else? Can we really be okay seeing each other with someone else,” She pointed out. She breathed out for a second, shaking her head slightly. “Because I know I wouldn’t be okay seeing you at prom with someone else. I am not okay not knowing what we are,” She declared. “If you want us to be a secret, that is fine. I can be a secret. But I cannot do this unlabelled thing. I can’t do this not knowing that you are mine and I am yours thing.”

“Y/N-” He cut himself off with a breath. “I’m sorry, but you know how I feel about labels-”

“You know what JJ, you can do your non-labels with someone else. That’s what it would be like if we were still doing this or not. You would be out with some other girl and I would be forced to sit there watching it no matter how much it made my heart bleed. I don’t want to hurt like that anymore, JJ.” She quipped, pulling her phone away from her ear, not hearing JJ’s desperate attempt to get her to stop, her finger slamming against the screen where the red button was.

“I wish you my love wouldn’t send you running.” She breathed out, her chest heavy, eyes pooling with unshed tears as she clutched her phone to her chest, a burning searing through her as she nearly hyperventilated.

____

Two AM, the Twinkie drives by her house. JJ, sitting silently, watched the house as he crawled by. The light of her lamp in her room was on, telling him she couldn’t sleep. Memories of her smile lighting up whenever he crawled in her window crept up on him like a grim reminder of what he had lost. Memories of the way their hands found each other under the table when the Pogues were bumming for food from Kie’s father.

He thought back to the late night moments. Low voices, tender touches as they were tangled together. The sound of her hoarse but soft voice, strained from the moans and her holding back her screams that JJ wanted so badly to hear. He could almost hear her voice within the darkness of the van. Shaking his head, his foot slammed against the gas pedal - the van rattling loudly and the engine roaring as he tore off down the road, leaving Y/N’s house and the memories in the dust. “It’s all in the past now.” He muttered, his tongue pressing into the skin below his lower lip, pushing it out as he rubbed his chin as he drove straight out of the neighbourhood.

Frustration, hurt, sadness, and longing swelled within his heart - making him angry with himself and with Y/N. Angry with himself for ruining one of the best things that happened to him. Mad at Y/N for making him love her. For being so damn loveable that he couldn’t resist her.

Two AM, Y/N lays in her bed. Her lamp beside her was bathing half her room in light. Eyes locked on the window, hoping to see JJ’s face appear from the darkness. For a second, she could see his face, see his finger tapping on her window, wanting to be let in. But, alas, it was just a fragment of her imagination.

Yellow-tinted headlights passed her window pane. JJ. She had hoped it was JJ coming back to her just like she wished he would. She thought of him, the yellow street lights reflecting off his skin - bathing his skin in a tinge of yellow, popped into her head like a vivid dream. His blonde hair whipped around as he sped down the darkened streets, his hand clasped on her leg, thumb stroking the inner thigh as her skirt rode up. Looking over at him, the red lip prints left by her littering his neck, disappearing below his shirt.

For a moment, she wished she had never hung up that phone like she had. She wished she could go back in time and talk it out. She wished he would come back, wished they could talk it out now. She wished he knew she didn’t hate him. She wished he knew that she would never forget any touch, any look. She wished he was here, pushing her buttons in the way he only knew how to. She wished he knew that she missed him too much to be mad at him. She just wished this was all just a dream.

____

Y/N imagined that she and JJ were it, but the more she thinks back to it, the more she realizes that they were just a crooked love going in a straight line down. But, no matter how doomed they were, she still wanted him sitting across from her and not Topper. Not only was it wrong that she was on a date with one of her best friends' terrible exes, but he also wasn’t JJ.

She pulled her lips away from her drink, a red ring of lipstick left on the paper straw. They were sitting outside on the patio of The Wreck, enjoying the last bit of summer before fall came. Topper was going on about his plans for the upcoming school year, what classes he’s taking, what sports he might try to get scholarships for, blah, blah blah (that’s what it sounded like to Y/N).

Another reason she loved being with JJ (even if it was in secret moments stolen), he never talked to her about school and the future as much as other people do. They look at her, see how hard she works and think that’s what she only wants to talk about. They think that’s the only thing she is interested in. With JJ, they talked about things like that, of course, they are big parts of their lives, but they talked about everything. Their dreams, their hopes, but they also talked about nothing as well. They could talk about the unfairness of the division between Kook and Pogues and the resulting inequality then turn around and talk about the most random thing - Y/N remembers fondly the time that they spent most of the night talking about an oddly shaped branch they saw.

“A scout last year said that I am a good candidate for a golf scholarship. Full-ride to Harvard baby!” Topper shook his head, chewing on his lobster as he laughed. Y/N hummed, taking another drink, glancing at her untouched plate. She had lost her appetite when she had figured out who her parents arranged the date with. Then, her appetite disappeared altogether when she spotted the blonde boy sitting inside the restaurant with none other than Bethany Stewart - an overzealous and unnecessarily perky cheerleader in their year.

Lips loosely around the straw, Y/N found her eyes drifting over to the window, looking at the two. She could have sworn she had seen JJ quickly turn his head from the corner of her eye, but by the way he was looking at Bethany, those wild eyes that could never be pulled away from her were now on Bethany. “Nobody is that happy all the time, life isn’t that good,” Y/N thought bitterly in her head, pessimism taking over as it usually did. “Ugh, it’s not her fault. Stop being so misogynistic and inherently negative, Y/N!” She scolded herself, looking over at Topper who barely noticed her attention veering off.

“But, I’ve also been told that my swimming could get me more options for full-ride scholarships-” Topper was still rambling.

“I’m sorry, but why do you need a full-ride scholarship? You’re filthy rich, Topper! I’m not as rich as you are, I'm barely upper middle class and I’m not trying for scholarships because there are people who need it more.” She cut him off, talking for the first time past the word ‘Hi’.

Topper looked at her, shocked by her sudden outburst. “Uh-” He blinked, mouth agape, not used to being called out for his ignorance. “I don’t know what to say here.” He admitted, blonde eyebrows furrowed.

“You don’t have to say anything, Topper,” She sighed, forehead falling into her hand as she propped her elbow on the table. Eyes closed, she dragged in a deep breath before letting it out. She could feel eyes on her. Two sets. One from directly across from her and one from inside the restaurant. A swirl of butterflies and conflicted feelings ignited within her stomach at the thought of his concerned eyes on her - but she pushed it down. “I’m sorry, I just have some shit going on in my personal life and a blind date set up by my mother is not helping it at all.”

Topper, seeming to come out of his shock, reached his hand across the table, pointer finger lightly touching Y/N’s elbow in a way to pull her attention towards him. Startled, she lifted her head, eyes bugging out slightly. “I get it. No offence, but I didn’t really want to come on this date either. I’m still caught up on Sarah actually,” He admitted rather shamefully. “But you get it, the pressure and persistence of your parents.”

“I do get it.” She agreed with a slight nod. Pulling her elbow off the table, she sat up, eyes trained on the table in front of her because she didn’t trust them not to wander over towards JJ and his date.

“He’s been watching you, you know,” Topper spoke, making her lift her eyes to him. “JJ, he can’t seem to take his eyes off you. I feel kind of bad for Bethany, but it doesn’t seem like she’s all that upset about it.”

“I don’t think Bethany can be upset. She’s so fucking optimistic, I’m a little jealous,” She laughed. Topper chuckled along with her, his head shaking slightly. “I wish my brain would automatically think of the best case scenario. Or even see the best in a situation.”

“Look, why don’t you stay here while I go in to pay, then we go back to my place and drink away the shit going on in our personal lives? Sounds good?” Topper pushed his chair back as a smile twitched at the corners of Y/N’s lips.

“Sounds good.” She confirmed, watching as he walked inside the restaurant, pulling out his wallet. Her eyes followed him through the window, before continuing to land on the only blonde boy who held her heart. His striking blue eyes were on her, narrowed as he observed her before jumping to Topper - ignoring whatever Bethany was saying to evaluate the situation.

Sighing, she shook her head, looking down at her skirt-clad lap. “I wish you would come back to me.” She muttered under her breath, blinking back tears as they welled up.

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angstmongertina · 9 months

Text

Make Me Write More Results/Sentences

Okay, my poll is over, so it's time to write. As i said in my little update reblog, since I didn't get all too many votes, each fic gets new sentences based on the number of votes it got, in an effort to force me to write more for all of them.

Thanks for playing, everyone (and thank you again to Jilly for the inspiration)! If you had fun, I might do this again on Tuesday for WIP Wednesday. No pressure to vote if you don't want to though. :D

Accountability sentences (and fic premises) under the cut! Please be warned that some of these sentences will probably make no sense out of context, and are also rough first drafts. :P

Letters to Nadia -- From a shared 7KPP 'verse with @teaandinanity's Valya where our characters' kids decided they were in love with each other. (4 sentences but I cheated and added an extra.)

But now, he’s finally, finally, made it back home, back to the safety of the empty study with a decanter of baijiu, free from prying and judging eyes. Free from her eyes. He groans, barely resisting the urge to dash out the door. For one thing, he’s not sure if he’s cogent enough to make it next door, and for another, she’s likely long gone to bed, never mind the fact that there is absolutely no way she’ll even want to see him in the first place. And that is a thought that stings worse than the liquor.

Evenly Matched -- The previously hinted at 7KPP Jaslen/Falon smut that I am PRAYING doesn't start a new ship in me. (3 sentences)

“My dear general,” and there’s the scowl she is familiar with, that seems to make its way across his face with almost military precision, “I have no idea what you could possibly be referring to. Are you quite well?” Her estimation of him is satisfyingly correct.

forever i'm yours, forever i do -- A retelling of Artem's second anniversary card that started as just an attempt to write out the smut and that VERY MUCH grew out of control HELP (3 sentences)

“You’d think you were the one getting married today, not me,” she says, amusement dancing in her eyes as she shoos him away. “Now go and tell my soon-to-be husband that no, he cannot come see me before the wedding; it's bad luck. Nor are you allowed back her to see her either.”

Oh Brother -- Again from the shared 7KPP 'verse mentioned above, Thomas' little sister's version of what happened. It's still in the very early stages so this is more exposition than anything. (3 sentences but adding in a fourth because it was half-finished anyway.)

The eldest daughter of the entire Galeric-Wu clan and the future heiress to the Galerford estate beyond, she could easily have humored and generally ignored a young cousin twelve years her junior and perhaps another girl, another future duchess, would have. But instead, Nadia had chosen to dote upon them all, treating her with the same understanding and love that she gave all of her friends and loved ones. Well, perhaps not all. Because it is an equally well-established fact that, despite all attempts to hide, dismiss, or minimize the fact, Nadia has a favorite cousin.

Spiral Point -- More 7KPP because the brainrot is real, but this time for Camyon's childhood friends AU. Here is their first interaction at the Summit, when neither of them actually recognize the other. :D (3 sentences)

There was no sensible reason why she should have been struck by his appearance, by the way his brow furrowed, first in search and then in recognition, but for one illogical moment, her heart climbed into her throat, only to settle back into her chest with an inexplicable twinge once he spoke. Of course it was about her cousin. He had known Cousin Jiya, a fact that her mother never failed to tease her with, when it came to her own lack of socialization at those academic events hosted by her fellow Jiyelese elite.

Dinghun Zhou -- My attempt at a fairytale AU, it's CinderLia. In an alternate universe in which there is no Summit, but there's still an event to try and find a wife for the perpetually single Duke Lyon. (2 sentences)

She pursed her lips, studying the flimsy pieces of parchment as though they might contain answers, or at least a logical explanation for her misgiving. Unfortunately, and just as expected, none were forthcoming.

Homecoming -- For the CoG story Teahouse for the Gods, because the A'Li romance was right up my alley but we didn't quite get enough of it, in my humble opinion. It's technically two different fics (I should really come up with a proper name for the other one) but I picked the one I had more inspiration for--which you may be unsurprised to learn is probably the angstier of the two. (1 sentence but I cheated again with two.)

It takes a moment for her to clear the memory out of her mind’s eye, to remind herself of the present, and in that time, he’s already stepped into view, though his head is turned, this way and that, as though cataloging every difference in the ensuing decades. Jacqueline darts to her side, half in shock, and she makes a mental note to sit down with the poor thing before his eyes fall on her and the entire mountain seems to hold its breath.

Seasong -- Back to Tears of Themis, a friend did some art for Mermay which inspired an AU in my head that I never got very far in because I am terrible at multichapter things. (4 sentences)

She knew of cages, had seen the ones that sunk, irrevocably, ceaselessly, to the bottom of the sea floor, had heard them whispered of by those unlucky few who had witnessed the capture of one of their own, and the stories of those even unluckier who had somehow managed to escape from such capture. She had heard of the fear, of the isolation, of the greed and malevolence of those humans, who hunted and tormented without need, who captured and traded without compassion. She had heard tales, once meant to frighten her away from the surface, of the many, many who were unable to escape. And now she was trapped in one.

Okay, that's everything, I think. If you read until here, thank you, and maybe see you on Tuesday for another poll? :P

#Tina rambles.#Tina liveblogs her writing struggles.

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queentheweeb · 1 year

Text

Midnight X Female Reader

You had known Nem your whole life. The both of you went to the same elementary school, and the same middle school, and then eventually the two of you applied to the U.A. heroics department and got in. This is where you found out that you were in fact a lesbian because your first crush was on a girl with snakes in her hair. The two of you fooled around but, it was nothing serious and you both remained friends. Now, around the time you and Nem became close with Shouta and Hizashi who were a year below the two of you that's when you found out your platonic feelings for Nem were not platonic. At all. You were too scared to say anything-not because you thought she was straight she made it very clear that she only liked women- but, you didn't want to lose her or the friendship the two of you had the cause of your romantic feelings. So, you chose to watch from the sidelines. You dated women even though it never lasted and, she did the same thing. She was always dating someone and it never lasted for more than a few months. She was a free spirit who didn't want to be tied down so, you watched from the sidelines staying her best friend for years. You still harbored feelings for her to this day and all of you were reaching your thirties working as teachers in U.A

"Darling, honeybee." There she goes with the cute pet names. Every time you think of trying to get over her she goes and does some cute shit like that. Your heart cannot handle all of this.

"Yes, love?" And then you follow up with a love, no wonder people may think you two are dating but, friends do that. You wanted to be dating desperately but, you value friendship over losing her completely and making things awkward. It's not like you were her type anyway, she went for women who were just as dominant and out there as she was like Mirko.

"Why do you look so glum? You're normally more chipper and would have given me a hug." You looked over at her as she glared down at you with a smirk. "I've been here a few minutes and normally you would have been all over me, what's wrong?" Ah, so you must have been lost in thought for a while then.

"I was thinking too hard about things and I didn't even notice my surroundings. Not very plus ultra of me I suppose." You snickered at the saying, you swear it was around before All Might but, All Might is the one who made it popular having come out on top in everything from grades to each year's Sports Festival. Nem seemed to have dropped it for now opting to sit next to you and chat with you about everything including lesson plans. You leaned against her as you typed away on your laptop planning the next lessons. You were the music teacher for all of the classes from the heroics, to general, to business classes. You also loved to plan a week in advance and, because of this Nem now also plans a week or even a week and a half in advance

"WHAT'S CRACKIN LACKIN'" You turned smiling at Hizashi who sauntered in with a grumpy Shouta right behind him. "As you can see, a ray of sunshine over here is in a bit of a mood so I hope you left coffee for him." You nodded waving at Shouta and pointing to the XL cup of coffee that was still hot next to the machine. He made a beeline for it taking it and drinking a big swig before going over to the couch and ignoring Hizashi who draped himself over him. After a few minutes of silence, Shouta turned to you with a rare smile and nodded his head in thanks. The four of you continued to do lesson plans since it was after school quietly exchanging conversation. Even though you were doing plans on autopilot your mind was somewhere else. Shouta and Hizashi were together already for about 10 years, they have been together since we all graduated at 18. It didn't take long for them to realize each other's feelings. So, why can't you get over Nem already?

"Y/N?" You turned at the soft velvety voice of your current affections. Nem was staring at you with open concern. She wasn't one to pry but if she sees something is bothering you constantly she will prod until she gets an answer out of you. "You're really not acting like yourself. I'm worried...You can talk to me you know that right?" You knew that for a fact but, how are you supposed to just come out to her that you had a fat crush on her for a decade and you were 99% sure it wasn't reciprocated?

"....Not here." She nodded her head in understanding and let you be for the next hour or so. It was around 5 when she got too antsy and decided to call it a day. With barely a goodbye to Hizashi and Shouta, she had tugged you away from the room neither of you aware of the short conversation between the last two occupants.

"You think one of them will finally come to their senses?" Hizashi was wondering how much longer was it going to take for the two of you to become official. The two of you were practically married at this point but, kept doting and dancing around each other like some sacred dance.

"If they don't today, I'm going to lock them both in a closet." The two of them snickered at the pun going back to work and praying their two friends can get their act together already. Now back to the two of you Nem had pulled you into a classroom in the unoccupied wing of U.A. It was still under construction and since everyone left for the day the two of you don't have to worry about being interrupted. She turned to you after slamming and locking the door with a stern look

"Y/N L/N, you have been acting strange for months! I always pretend not to notice because I want to give you privacy but, I can't take it! I need to know. What is bothering you? Who is bothering you? Is it your health? What's going on? I'm supposed to be your best friend and you don't talk to me at all...Is it me?" She was having a whole mental breakdown about this making you feel even more guilty than you already did. It was silent for a few minutes as you contemplated on what to do or say. You looked up at Nem finally to see she was near tears which were something that hurt your heart. Fucking hell.

"Don't hate me." That was all you said as you took a deep breath and in one swift movement you had your hands on her face and pulled her in for a kiss. It lasted for a few seconds before you pulled away. You went to completely move out of her space when she wrapped her arms tight around your waist and, brought you in for another kiss. The kissing lasted for a few more minutes before the two of you pulled away with matching grins

"We got a lot to talk about." That was true

"Yeah, but let's enjoy this moment, yeah?" As your answer, she pulled you in again as you thought why did you deny yourself access to heaven like this

----------------------------------------------------------

What are your thoughts?

#anime #fanfic #manga #bnha #mha #fanfiction #quotev #quirks #fluff #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #midnight #nemuri kayama #midnight x fem reader #lgbt

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your-tutor-abacus · 9 months

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The Shipyard Control Rooms

Which I will describe in a moment. But first, that annoying thing that food blogs do, where they write about something else at length first. You know, to set the scene. (I've read some human blogs now. Am I doing this right?)

This is long. To be enjoyed at leisure.

I don't have to eat, but I like to. And food that I do eat is not wasted in any way.

I get enjoyment out of it, and the nutrients and energy are recycled more perfectly than if the food were composted.

So, if you too have a nanite exobody, do not be ashamed to eat food. You should try it. And I mean real food. Not Network approximations of food. You should visit the Garden and eat something made by one of the Artisans amongst the Children of the Sunspot.

With the sensory array afforded to us by the nanites and their ingenious programming, you will experience flavors and textures in a way that cannot be approximated by anything else, not even biological mechanisms.

I make it a point to eat at least one meal every day, usually the first thing in the morning.

Usually, I like to eat the food right there in front of the Artisan, so that I can show them my appreciation for it, and talk to them about it. But sometimes I'm not feeling like being sociable, and when that happens I go for an old favorite and take it someplace else to eat. Someplace interesting.

That way the Artisan already knows my opinion of their food and is simply happy to give me more of it, and I get to appreciate a full sensory experience while visiting a place I may not have seen before.

Today, I went someplace I've already been. The very same shipyard where I took Ni'a and Aphlebia on one of their first tours of the Sunspot. And I took with me some... In English, I'm going to use the words "apples" and "cheese", but it's not that. Close enough, though. The "apples" are a fruit that structurally resembles Earth apples and can be eaten in a similar way, but might taste really different. And the "cheese" is made from processed mushrooms and algae mixed with spices. It has a consistency similar to some cheeses you might eat on Earth, but it probably tastes very different. I personally love how the spices go with the fruit, but I'm told it's an acquired taste. A very acquired taste that I highly encourage you to acquire if you can. It's bold and it's complicated.

When I arrived at the place, I commanded the shipyard doors to open, as we had done before, because watching actual stars revolve around the ship with your own optical receptors or eyes is an emotional experience that defies logic. And I couldn't pass that up, even if it was for the tenth or twelfth time.

But I described that in my book about Ni'a and their experiences, and I wanted to paint for you the meaning and beauty of something I left unexplained in that story.

The control room of the shipyard itself.

This is architecture that, in most Exodus Ships, is rarely ever seen by anybody. Not even when the shipyard is being used to create a new ship. But it is still built with an old, old, forgotten tradition that not only keeps biologically bound people in mind but imagines that one day the shipyard and its control room might be used to host visitors.

It has consoles and chairs, and it is decorated.

Normally, this shipyard is operated via Network channels, when it is needed. And it has been locked away from prying eyes, even from access by Monsters, for over 131 millennia. There should be no need for consoles, chairs, and decorations.

And yet, here they are.

It's interesting, too, because the color choices for the surfaces and decor must have been deliberate, as well.

This morning, I sat with my back to open space (well, with a glass portal between me and the vacuum), with my be-tailed ass on the floor, eating my food. So that I could focus on this room from a view approximating what someone might see if they were docking their own space vessel in the shipyard itself. If they were lucky or astute enough to focus on the relatively tiny portal of the control room.

This is a small shipyard, six by three kilometers long and wide, and half a kilometer deep. The control room, in contrast, is measured in meters, twenty by fifteen by five. Eh can stand up straight in it, but it is minuscule in comparison to the shipyard it belongs to.

To my left, as I sit here, is the hatch to an airlock that sits between this control room and it's counterpart. A redundant system.

Someone visiting us, which as far as I know is something that has never happened on any Exodus Ship yet, would enter through that airlock and then make their way into one of these two control rooms. Which ever one was opened to them.

In the back of the control room is the hatch to the lift.

There are two consoles and two chairs. Our imaginary guest would walk in front of the consoles and down the short aisle between them in order to get to the lift. Especially if the consoles and their chairs were occupied by people. Because they are designed for people as big as Eh.

Eh can vary in size however ihn wants, but usually tends to stand at about four meters tall these days, and ihns tail takes up just as much room behind ihn, with ihns huge, wavy spinal fin. And the furniture of the control room was obviously designed for ihn.

Was this furniture made specifically in honor of Eh? If this architecture was designed for anyone aboard the Sunspot, it seems likely. The Children rarely ever grow that big, and their physiology is all so varied and different that, if they were expected to use the control room, it would make more sense to use configurable chairs and consoles.

At this point, it would be easy enough to replace them with nanite bins that any person could use to create the furniture they need.

But that's not how it was made. And because we didn't start using nanite exobodies until very recently, it probably wasn't imagined that Eh or any Founding Crew Member would actually sit here.

So, I could ask about that. And when I get an answer, I'll report back. But for now, I'm entertained by the mystery and I give it to you the same way that I find it.

With more questions.

If I made my own body larger, I'd find those seats fairly comfortable. They are designed for a person who has a tail and does not stand fully upright like a few people do. The tall end, with a chin rest, is nearest the console, though they do swivel. Swiveling is less for providing a convenient exit to the chair, and more to help you reach all the controls of the console with either hand.

This seems to fit the body type described by the elemental root words of Fenekere, our most ancient language.

Are the control rooms of other Exodus ships built like this? Were they built like this even on the Terra Supreme, where every person looked almost exactly alike, stood fully upright, had no tails, and were only two meters tall at most?

Who designed this control room, and how much input did they have? What did they use for a model? Where did they get their directions? How much of the rest of it was customized specifically for the Sunspot to set it apart from the Terra Supreme?

I know that the symbol of the Inmara, Eh's own resistance cell aboard the Terra Supreme, is unique to the Sunspot. Fenmere, Gesedege, and Eh worked together to design it. You can see it on the hanging scale in the image on my blog's banner. The comet and dragon, or Hunter's Bow and Guardian, appear above the word "Inmara", meaning the Great Alliance, etched clean through a sculpture of a Scale of the Great One from the old myths.

And, let me tell you, I still don't know the origins of those myths or just how old they are, just that the Founding Crew hold them dear for some reason.

I'm pretty sure that the scales that are hanging to either side of the lift hatch, right behind each chair, each adorned with the symbol of the Inmara, are meant to clearly establish the character of the Sunspot.

They could have just as easily held the name of the ship on them, but they don't. "Welcome to `etekeyerrinwuf," is, however, written on a plaque above the lift hatch.

There is also, on the wall opposite the airlock, a Founding plate. It lists the name of the ship, the name of the resistance cell that was in charge of creating the ship, the names of the Senior Founding Crew members, and the coordinates and relative direction of the ship's creation. The is also a bas relief depiction of the Sunspot on that plaque, above the words. The plaque is a septagon, like a typical Scale of the Great One, but it is quite a bit wider than usual in order to accommodate the information. And it is made with the same material as the outer hull, which stands out against the painted walls. It's hard to miss it.

Are there plaques like that in the Terra Supreme? Are they the same shape? What language are they written in? What about the other Exodus Ships?

Then there are the colors of the room, which I mentioned. These, I'm also pretty sure are unique to the Sunspot, though I don't know.

The floor is a navy blue that has been faded to gray. A deep blueish gray. (Our translators are helping us with this description, and you'll have to excuse me if some of my phrases don't make sense to you. I'm trusting them, but I don't know what "navy blue faded to gray" really means.)

The trim around the edges of the portals, hatches, floor and ceiling is a gold color. Not metallic, but the kind of color you'd expect from an unfertilized dandelion during a sunset, I'm told. Somewhere between yellow and orange.

The walls are a gradient from a muted violet near the floor to a soft pink near the ceiling, making the gold the strongest color in the room.

The support structures of the consoles and chairs are also that gradient of muted violet to soft pink, but with aglae green trim that is almost as bright as the gold.

The hatch doors are that same green.

The Scales of the Great One are solid bronze, maintained and kept shiny by nanites. There are metal rims and bits in the chairs and consoles that also the same bronze. Anything metal in the room, besides the Founding plaque, is that bronze.

All of the hallways and rooms of the same deck are painted in these colors, as is the shipyard itself.

I have yet to find another part of the Sunspot that is colored and structured like this. In fact, this room is rectangular, a simple block, like the shipyard itself, unlike most other rooms aboard the ship.

There is definitely meaning here.

It is this astounding mix of unfathomably ancient and relatively new but still unfathomably ancient that frankly captivates me more than a glimpse of a pulsar in a nebula that resembles where the Sunspot was built.

If you do come down here for the stars, do not forget to turn around and stare at the control room for a while, too.

Who was it made for? You? Me? Or as some sort of big "fuck you" to Father `e of the Terra Supreme, who will never, ever get to see it?

The answer to all of those questions is probably "yes".

#Sunspot Chronicles #fictional travel blog #a tour of the Sunspot

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1heartsickfics · 2 years

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hii! first of all i love your writings so i was wondering if you can write a moreid fic where derek got sick and spence's gone all doctor mode? thank you <3

I've actually been re watching criminal minds recently lol so I absolutely love this. Especially cause Derek's such a manly man that the thought of spence taking care of him is adorable. This will probably be short cause I'm tired but here you go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Morgan?"

"Hmm?" Derek asked, brought back to reality. He looked around to place the source of the voice that had said his name.

"You with us?" Rossi asked, looking at him from across the table.

"Yeah, yeah. Just thinking," he answered, shaking his head to clear it. He felt foggy, distracted. His head wasn't in the game. Truthfully, now that he thought about it he was exhausted, hadn't slept well last night.

"Onto something?" Hotch asked.

"Nah I don't think so I was just going over everything in my head again, trying to see if there was anything we missed," Derek blew them off, feeling hot under the prying eyes of his team, all eyes trained on him now.

"Guys I think I may have something," Reid interrupted, thankfully. "You see this area on the map here? Well this is..."

Derek tuned out again, grateful to the kid for distracting everyone, getting the attention off of him. He tried to pretend like he was paying attention, but honestly he was thinking about what excuse he could possibly give to get him away from the team for a while. He needed a break. What he really wanted was to just lie down.

"Morgan, you and Prentiss go back to the crime scene and see if you can find anything that might relate them back to our other victims, or place them within the area of the geographical profile," Hotch was giving out assignments for the evening.

"Uh, actually do you think Morgan could stay here with me? I feel like he might be able to help me with this since he has a lot of experience with building properties," Reid interjected.

"Uh yeah sure, that's fine. Morgan stay here and Rossi go with Prentiss," Hotch rearranged the assignments.

The rest of the team quickly got up and headed out to their assigned locations while Derek and Reid remained at the table in the precinct. Once everyone was gone, Reid turned his attention from his map to Derek.

"Morgan what's going on with you?" he asked.

"Nothing kid," Derek sighed, "I'm just tired."

"No offense Morgan, but you're a bad liar," Reid said, giving him a look.

Derek sighed again. Of course the kid saw right through him. They'd been through so much together that they were both pretty good at reading the other at this point.

"I guess I'm not feeling that great," he shrugged, averting his eyes.

"Maybe you should head back to the hotel, get some rest," Reid suggested.

"No. If we don't find this guy soon he's gonna kill again," he shook his head.

"Yeah but we're no closer than we were three hours ago. Plus, we both know that you cannot help me with this geographical profile. Just go get some sleep, and hopefully you'll feel well enough to help with the case tomorrow," the boy genius said. He had a point.

"Yeah, I guess you're right..." Derek said. He probably couldn't be much help right now anyway, he was starting to feel worse by the minute.

"Go. We'll survive one night without you Derek. The rest of us need some practice kicking down doors and chasing unsubs anyway," Reid said, trying to lighten things up.

"Ha, you got jokes huh kid?" Derek jabbed, although his words had no bite. He was already thinking about how good it would feel to lay down.

"I'll come check on you later and fill you in," Reid said, shooing Morgan away.

"Thanks Reid," Derek said, giving the kid a pat on the shoulder as he walked past, trudging out of the station to head back to the hotel.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Morgan. Morgan, wake up,"

"Ah, fuck, what-?" Derek sat up with a start, breathing hard.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're alright," Spencer was sitting beside him, one hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down onto the bed.

Derek was freezing. The room was spinning. And oh god his head hurt. Fuck he really was sick wasn't he. And in the middle of a case no less.

Once he was able to fully wake up and catch his breath, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard. "What did you tell Hotch?" he asked, voice sounding rough.

"That you were sick," Reid shrugged.

"Damnit," Derek sighed.

"He already knew Morgan. You weren't subtle. You'd been sitting at the table, silent, looking like you were about to pass out for like two hours. Everyone already knew," Reid explained.

Derek dropped his head down into his heads, trying to stop the spinning. It was making his stomach churn. He felt awful.

"Hey. I brought you some stuff," Reid said. " We've got some ibuprofen for that fever you're running, an icepack for your head, and there's a trashcan beside the bed because you look like you're about to hurl," he finished.

Sure enough, Morgan immediately leaned over the side of the bed and heaved his stomach contents up into the trashcan that Reid had conveniently placed there. How did Reid even get into his room? He didn't have much time to think about it though before his stomach contracted again.

"O-okay, you're alright," Reid said, placing a hesitant hand on his back.

Once he was done, Reid pulled him back into the bed by his arm, helping him lay back down.

"Think you can keep some medicine and water down for a little bit?" Reid asked, sounding a little shaken. He'd never seen Morgan look so fragile.

"I'll try," Morgan shrugged.

Reid frowned, looking worried, but he helped Morgan take a couple of ibuprofen with a few sips of water, then laid the icepack wrapped in a towel on his forehead.

"Hopefully that'll help bring the fever down. You should try to sleep now," Spencer said.

"Thanks kid. I'll be okay, you can go back to the team now,"

"Not a chance," Reid said, grabbing the remote and turning the tv on to some documentary channel. "I'll be here when you wake up."

And as much as Derek wouldn't admit it, he was glad that Spencer stayed.

#criminal minds #my writing #sick morgan #derek morgan #caretaker reid #spencer reid #sickfic #fanfic #fever #illness #tw: vomit

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secretlywritingstories · 2 years

Text

I don’t know if I’ll ever fully be friends with big and long social events.

I’ve gotten better at handling them for sure. A lot of them include fun times, chats with either people I already love or people I get to get to know better. It’s something to break up a bit of the monotony. It can be full of good food, nice conversations and fun all around. I can stay late, not wanting to miss out on anything.

And yet, the repercussions always hit me afterwards. Like clock work. Whether I had a great time, or a bad time. It’ll come for me. Once I’ve retreated back to my own cocoon away from prying eyes, the flashing red battery starts blaring. It starts blacking me out, into sleep or into thoughtlessness. I exist and breathe but everything is running on emergency power and there is nothing I can do to immediately fix this. It’ll take time.

I’ve learned the hard way that I’ll only mess myself up trying to rush through it. It’s the reason I try not to plan too many social things right on top of each other. I know I need the room to breathe and recharge. To feel a little more like myself again. Come back to my body and mind.

And it is both that needs recharging, just one or the other is not enough. I need sleep. I need physical rest. But I also need mental rest, where I am awake but chilling and doing something restorative. During my usual day, I’ll have at least a few hours laptop time. It includes chatting with online friends, watching videos, scrolling social media and writing on my stories.

This might sound dramatic as hell but laptop time is a stable in my life that I feel like I cannot function as well without. It’s a time to just exist in my own little bubble, do whatever the heck I want and have no obligations to talk to anyone, or do anything. It’s freedom. It’s enjoyment. It’s home.

I suppose that’s the introvert thing. Recharging can only happen alone. I do not get more energised being out and about with people, not even my best friends whom I love dearly. They don’t drain my resources as much or as fast as others, but the drain is always there. Just a trickle instead of a flood. I still need to come back home and have some laptop time to re-calibrate.

My parents always found it a little weird, I think. If I’d come home, tired after a long day or a big social thing, I couldn’t and didn’t want to head straight to sleep. I had an unfulfilled need of chill awake time in my own little bubble that needed to be addressed. If I just went right into trying to sleep, I’d just lie awake. Exhausted but internally buzzing. Eventually sleep would claim me but then the urge the following morning would require more laptop time.

And that’s the thing about the clock moving past midnight - in our society mornings often signify a new start. A start that often has a something we have to do. A responsibility. Like go to work. Having to go through a whole work day with no mental capacity on the battery is a slow kind of torture. It’s a torture that you’ll often have to whether you want to or not.

All of this to say, I am tired, not recharged enough, and there’s work tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

#my tumblr dabbles #introvert #introspective #social battery #spilled thoughts #spilled words

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utteringtruth · 2 years

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Day… ??

20 after midnight and I’m wide awake… I mean yes that shot of meth might have something to do with it but that’s besides the point. “What the fuck are you doing?”- the voice in the back of my head, constantly repeating this question. And how the hell did it get this bad this fast? Within a month I was slamming (or banging-for those who prefer that term, I personally do not) (and for those who are fortunate enough to not abuse drugs, slamming means shooting up) i was back to slamming like i never stopped. It’s been about 2months now since I relapsed, in the beginning i made sure to just stick to smoking… i really didn’t wanna start shooting up… I mean i was only ganna use for a couple days anyways (ha… in my case, i dont use drugs… drugs use me)… and using needles just means a bigger monkey to get off your back… well that changed very quickly… my poor fucking arms, all bruised and tore up. I’m really ganna hate myself 2maro morning, i have to be back at work at 5am… and today sucked ass. All the stares i got, the awkwardness of them knowing I’m high as fuck, and me knowing that they know but pretending like everything is fucking rainbows and fucking butterflies. Ive lost my ass and tits, I look sick. I went from 138lbs to 115lbs… i just gotta make it thru this month. Boss man leaves on Monday for 2weeks, he comes back and i leave to Reno. Reno? Yes Reno… that’s my plan… since I’m a fucking lame that literally cannot stop using drugs unless i get arrested with new felony charges… i will be going to Reno for a week to get clean. I have to get away for a lil bit away from everything and everyone. I just have to make it to the 24th with out doing anything stupid or illegal. Don’t fuck this up, just make it till then… the idea was Lucas, he’s such a fucking sweetheart and I’m putting him thru hell… well I’m ganna go wash my face and try to get an hour or 2 of sleep before i hate myself even more than i do now… but then again I’ve been saying that almost every night and every night i find myself picking the shit outta my arms at 3am and hating myself even more which I didn’t think was possible… Kids… don’t do drugs. Oh and i have to go drop the key off at the gift shop, the one i just got fired because anytime i pick back up and use… i end up fucking everything up. Addiction is sad and lonely, my heart goes out to anyone out there battling addiction… i wouldn’t wish it on my enemy. Nothing has ever brought me so high and at the same time so fucking low as using… and just in case no one asked, because all they see is a drugged out nobody… “is everything ok? How are you?” And sure you might lie, or i might lie to just get someone off my back and say “I’m fucking wonderful… i love my life” and sure just maybe they might be insincere, or just being fucking nosy… but at least it would be nice to know that at least 1 person… just 1… cared enough and got the fuck over themselves to at least ask. So if someone in your life, important or maybe that cute lil Mexican girl that works at 711… that used to glow, and smile (well sometimes) she’s nice but she can be pretty bitchy… that now looks sad, and rough and god damn lost way too much weight.. she looks sick. And looks like she’s on a sick one every single time u see her… what the fuck happened? You know something ain’t right… just ask… you don’t have to be noisy or pry. Just ask, “hey, you doing alright? Is everything ok? I don’t mean to be rude or pry or be nosy… just wondering if your ok?” Are you ok? Such a simple question with the most complicated answer. Get your shit together i keep telling myself. Holy shit I’m fucking rambling, get your ass to bed!!! Holy fucking shit i just got a text message from the crazy meth fulled ex of this dick wad of a guy i kicked it with for a couple days… fuck my life… seriously kids do not do drugs. Till later - xoxo

#Spotify

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rainswept · 2 months

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ngl i had to take a fat nap after that response ☹️

i have genuinely never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, now we're in the same boat because i don't even know what to say to tell you exactly how much i enjoyed reading all of it. i got that whole eyes burning going on n shit and im having a very fun awesome time trying to put a name to whatever the feeling in my chest is (not), but love sounds like a nice way to put it so we'll go with that! i love you too, and appreciate the time you took to write everything out more than any sentence can convey the full meaning of

you're right about me not expecting my ask to mean so much, i wrote it because i knew most authors (and creators as a whole) like hearing how their viewers discover their work. you said you were curious in the notes of the url post, i thought i might as well send in my story to satisfy.

it would be a big step for me, but also a chance to say something nice to someone who inspired me and then move on after a “thank you” or vague acknowledgement to… prove to myself interacting isnt as bad as i thought it'd be?? something like that. i’m not sure what i wanted you to say, or how i wanted to feel about it

bbuut as per usual, you managed to surprise me no matter what i was looking for ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) and it wasn't all over the place or hard to understand at all. my turn to be dramatic:

“what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the page, the emotion fades with the ink?” is definitely a question i connect with. impressionable teenager check ‼️

i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive.

they aren't real right? who cares? which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming. imagine not being able to delve into those depths. of course it feels uncomfortable to be pulled under the waves at first— you aren't going to be able to breathe— but the underwater life has so much to offer. i know it now, because i’ve seen that unknowable infinity in your work and in your passion. and there's so much more to sea (ba dum tiss). thank you so much for showing me that

love changes a lot of people. it is sacrifice, and you often have to make compromises. so why not let myself be devoured by that endlessness? i would rather suffer, be swallowed by the ocean and have all of my soft edges filed into jagged pieces by the currents than to have never known that pain at all. because it changed me. i want to remember that.

i want to remember your words, and the part you played even if i am left with only hurt, because love is also giving. it's greed knows no bounds. it's scary, the only thing i had to offer was myself and my experience. but it's getting easier. i’m happy to be seen as a member of your audience, and will applaud every success long after our interests no longer align because that is my compromise for you ♥(ˆ⌣ˆ)

hope all that makes sense. i like the umbrella tag! i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️

ANON i am so sorry for the late response i had to process this. i’m having such a hard time posting these bc i just want to keep them treasured in my inbox forever ugh

long post again

ANYWAY. you’re so poetic this is insane. hello???//?/? when i first saw this there were tears in my eyes literally. i cannot. the first paragraph. actually all of them. i . died?? goodbye?? this is the end of me as i know it. i will never be the same. these r the most impactful words anyone has ever said to me i think. i have no words. genuinely no words i’m going to melt into thr floor. plea. please. spare me anon. spare me. i’m in agony right now ur writing is so beautiful. ANONNNNN😭😭😭😭😭😭 god i will never recover. i am in tears

“i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive. they aren't real right? who cares?”

i get that, in a way. but as you said — “which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming.” — that’s how it feels to me, too, and it always has. i get the idea of thinking something isn’t important because it’s not real, but i’ve always latched onto them regardless. so i had to write, honestly. to get it out. because otherwise it would consume me instead. it sounds very dramatic, i’m aware, but it’s true — i have so many feelings surrounding these fictional pixels and stories and they have so much to offer and they take up too much space in my brain and if i do not talk about it i will Explode ™️. Or Implode ™️. so i write! because i want to. because i have to. because otherwise it will Swallow Me Whole. and i’d rather embrace it! i’ve always been an ‘obsessive’ person when it comes to interests — it’s all or nothing for me. so it’s one or the other — i can drown or i can swim, but i can’t really get out of the water of my own volition,,, and i’d rather not drown. so i’m both glad i inadvertently introduced you to that way of seeing things, and regret it, because it does hurt sometimes. but it’s worth it to me, and it seems like it is to you too, so that’s good!

ONCE AGAIN i could copy and paste this entire ask and comment on it but i fear it’ll just be me repeating your sentences and gawking at them and it would get way too long. 😭😭😭😭 so i’ll just let your ask speak for itself

“i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️” also we can explode together actually. i’m glad u allowed urself to be perceived because. oh my god. 😭😭😭😭 this ask changed the trajectory of my life forever. half joke. destruction is not imminent you’ve got this

also, you’re definitely more than just a member of my audience now, in my opinion. if you do decide to stick around (and i hope you do), i hope we can become friends eventually too! even if you decide not to, these interactions have meant more to me than you know! so thank you, either way

#☂️#—crow’s nest.#i love this ask. so mucj #i would totally comment on every paragraph you sent because they’re all. so touching and beautiful and #AUGH #i’m all over the place i’m so sorry 💀💀#so much more to sea….#and they’re a comedian #best anon ever actually. ur so cool i’m so glad to have u here #i win in life

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thetitanofanage · 11 months

Text

I wish i was just some transgender autistic person, that would be easy, it’d be so easy to truly be something someone else also is, to know that even though your experiences are rare you can look around and find them, and even though you’d have a lot to come to terms with and work through, it wouldn’t be what i have to work through

you all at most have to accept some weird gender identity and hobbies and sex things, you are not forced to bear witness to the madness of your own self

I am being forced to reckon with the fact that i do not enjoy nor understand love or compassion or human connection or any activity that humans spend so much of their time marveling over, to me it is meaningless drivel, utter nonsense, no, i have only found one thing i enjoy, conflict, not winning, or losing, but the struggle itself, i am forced not to reckon with gender or sexuality, for they bore me on every level, no, i must reckon with my inhuman desire to fight everything, everywhere, at once, i dearly wish, on every level, that my destiny does not truly consist of dying alone having slain or scared away all who ever loved me, that i am wrong and i just haven’t quite found my love yet, but it just seems so unlikely, for i have found only one thing i love, despite how much i despise loving it

if i were one you a reasonable response might be to not hate what you love, but when what you love is omnicide and incredible violence against everything from gods to worms and below then a reconsideration of self love might be neccesarry

there is nothing i want to be less than what i am, but i have biological imperatives that prevent my death, and an anger and love (of violence) to force even gods to a standstill, i spend my every moment fighting my destiny (attempted omnicide) but one cannot fight destiny, one day i will succumb and build an empire to create a machine to bring low the heavens and claim them for myself so i may destroy them with my own hands

there is no other ending, there is no second way it may all go, despite this i use the very same anger that forces my destiny upon me to fight it, to stall and hope for a second path, maybe i just need a support network, maybe my mounstrous and inhuman nature prevents me from ever having one, maybe i just need to try again hoping that this time it’ll be alright, that this time they’ll try to see things my way and accept that their entire worldviews are wrong so that they may be my friend

it’s kind of hard to make friends when you have to pry open their third eyes first and dismantle their sense of self in order for them to be able to see you, kind of sucks and makes social networks impossible, especially when you also refuse to play the social game and share no interests because you have no interests

it sucks to be definitely, but at least i’m white and not too bad off and in a wealthy northern european country, i can imagine that for some of you life’s a lot worse but at least you’re human (peace and love on planet earth)(no matter how much i despise peace and know nothing of love)

#insaneposting

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