How about some positivity to combat all the bullshit stuff happening in my (and probably everyone else’s) life right now?
(Also I don’t really know how to make this all aesthetic and stuff but I think it does not matter bc I don’t wanna detract from my point anyways!!)
SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE SELFSHIPPERS WHO FEEL UNDERAPPRECIATED AND OVERLOOKED!!!
SHOUTOUT TO…
- selfshippers of color (ESPECIALLY black selfshippers, you shouldn’t have to put up with all the bullshit you have to deal with in the selfship community and other fandom spaces and your f/os would NOT stand for it, they would absolutely call anyone out on their racism)!!!
- mixed selfshippers of color as well (your f/os would love learning about all aspects of your heritage)!!
- transmasc selfshippers!!
- transfem selfshippers !!! (You gals also deal with so much bullshit and I want so much better for you and so do your f/os, they will ALWAYS hype you up for being the beautiful woman you are!)
- gay selfshippers!!!
- lesbian selfshippers !!
- bisexual, pansexual and other m-spec selfshipper s!!
- asexual, aromantic and aroace spectrum selfshippers !!!
- intersex selfshippers !!! (I see so little rep for you guys, I hope we can change that!! Your f/os would never ask you invasive questions without your consent and they would always support you against anyone who was weird to you about being intersex!)
- selfshippers whose f/os ‘don’t match’ their real life orientation (your real life identity is NOT invalidated by your attraction to fictional characters)!!
- queer selfshippers who don’t feel like typical and conventional labels fit for them!!
- physically disabled selfshippers!!!
- neurodivergent selfshippers (especially cluster B folks, the hatred I see directed at you is just awful and I desperately want people to stop acting like your flavor of neurodivergence has any effect on your morality. Your f/os wants to learn as much as your willing to share about your neurodivergent self and how to better accommodate you) !!
- selfshippers with intellectual disabilities !!
- selfshippers who don’t feel included in American and Eurocentric imagines, be they about physical features, seasons or cultural aspects!!!
- selfshippers who are ‘older’ (you are NEVER too old to selfship, it makes me so happy to see selfshippers past their 30s bc it reassures me that could be me!) !!
- selfshippers with fem f/os (so few imagines centered around fem f/os.. we need to change that)!!!
- fat selfshippers!!
- selfshippers with not ‘conventionally attractive’ features like acne, moles, stretch marks, self harm scars, etc (these are NOT ugly features but even if they were, you are still a person deserving of respect and kindness)!!!
- tall selfshippers who don’t feel included in most self insert imagines where the f/o is taller than the reader insert!!
- PLEASE PLEASE ADD MORE IN THE REBLOGS!!! If I forgot and didn’t include you or someone you care about, please reblog with that addition!! I want to see ALL of the amazing people the selfship community is comprised of!!!
PROSHIP/COMSHIP/‘NEUTRAL’ DNI
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#ftm is a fetish tag
disclaimer, i am a trans man
#ftm is a fetish tag. i dont know if its always been like this but it is a problem.
i can hardly find any transmascs in that tag.
there are cis women misgendering trans men as a kink, and talking about our bodies like sex dolls everywhere in that tag. its mostly cishet women using OUR tag to objectify our bodies because they are too afraid to consider that they might not be straight. it is at least half detransition kink. im very uncomfortable with cis people doing this, but if they want to i wont stop them.
but this is in OUR TAG. this is horrible. they write disgusting smut about women who are short twinks with soft tits and dripping cunts and no dysphoria at all.
they just call them trans men.
ive seen other transmascs complain about this too.
these fics are written by and for cis women. they are chasers. the way they talk about our bodies is revolting. they know nothing about trans men at all.
i know that not all trans men feel dysphoric about their bodies, but these women are still treating us like a fetish that only occurs in fiction, rather than people who have emotions and often want to have a flat chest and/or a penis.
in particular they fetishize gay trans men. all these fics are about femboys who are horrified by the concept of transitioning getting fucked by bears. the people writing this view transitioning as mutilation. its very obvious.
ive noticed that this occasionally extends to fetishizing cis men with gynecomastia. its clear they want to fuck women but think lesbians are disgusting, so they call the women in their fics men, but misgender them throughout the text.
i hardly see any representation for trans men who even want to transition. newsflash: a lot of us do want to transition. many of us have already had surgery.
if you genuinely do want to write smut with GOOD portrayal of trans men, heres some tips on what we want in our representation:
trans men who dont want to transition deserve rep too, but many of us are entirely uncomfortable with our bodies. very few of us want any attention given to the parts we are born with. a lot of pre op trans men wear a binder during sex. we're not all bottoms, and some of us wear strap ons.
when we're on testosterone, it causes vaginal atrophy, similar to menopause. it gets very dry down there and easily irritated. this means that vaginal sex can be very painful and could even damage tissues. even without T, vaginal penetration is usually no where near as fun as it is for cis women. anything being in there is awful and sometimes painful.
anal sex is a thing. its not gross. its perfectly normal. it just requires some lubricant, and for a trans man, is a lot more comfortable than vaginal sex.
shockingly, most of us do not want to be called girls.
dont misgender a trans person in a sex scene. at all. some of us like to be called good boys during sex. stop calling us girls.
some of us have had surgery. it is NOT mutilation. it is life saving. top surgery is one that we get most frequently. the results do look just like a cis mans chest. there are long thin scars under the pecs, but these fade after a few years. they may not even be visible. bottom surgery exists too.
metoidioplasty creates a micropenis out of the clitoris. it does look real. it looks like a regular micropenis. it has full sensation.
phalloplasty uses a flap of skin, usually from the forearm, and turns it into a penis. this surgery is more complex and is done in multiple stages. after it is complete, it looks like a circumcised penis. its size is dependent on the flap of skin used to make it, so it can actually be larger than average. (on r/phallo someone even got a reduction surgery because his dick was 7 inches long). the area the skin flap was taken from has pretty big scarring. it looks like the result of a severe burn. it is sometimes covered by a tatoo. there is a lot of misinformation about phalloplasty. it is a big surgery, but it is no where near as dangerous as the internet would have you believe. after it has fully healed it does look real, and a genital nerve is usually hooked up to the penis. it can take a while to heal (years), but after a few months sensation begins to return as the nerves heal. the clitoris is often buried in the base of the penis, and if a genital nerve hook up is done the penis can have full sensation, including the tip. not everyone gets full sensation, and it can take years for sensation to fully return, but 93% of men who get phalloplasty are satisfied with the results. that is a lot. it is quite rare that sensation is fully lost, so yes, you can orgasm after phalloplasty. one thing to note is that a phalloplasty penis cant get hard on its own. there are two types of implant for erections. one is a rod inside the penis, which can last over 20 years before needing a replacement. the rod is flexible, so can be positioned as an erection. the other implant is a internal pump that is more complicated than the rod, and needs to be replaced roughly every 15 years. it is filled with water and sits inside the penis. to get an erection, you squeeze one of the testicles, which is a pump implant, pushing the water into the penis, causing an erection.
most importantly, we are men. we can be feminine. we can be masculine. we can look exactly like cis men. dont forget that we are people, we are real. we are not some sex fantasy.
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ace and aro books
went on a deep dive to find some aspec rep for myself and this is some of what i came up with. not official recommendations since i haven't read most of them, but they exist and i've put several of them on my own TBR list. these are all books i haven't seen on other rec lists, and i've done my best to confirm that the rep is aspec
if any of y'all have read these, feel free to share your thoughts or correct me if i've gotten something wrong
(organized alphabetically by title and separated by age demographic; mixed genres; subject to being updated)
(ftr just because an author is not specified to be ace or aro does not necessarily mean they are allo; i include that info if i happen to come across it, but i am not going out of my way to track down the identities of every single author)
(some of these books contain themes or scenarios that may be triggering for some readers; i have only done research to ascertain the ace/aro rep; if you find certain topics upsetting to read, it is your responsibility to do the research necessary to determine if a book is appropriate for you and to proceed into a story at your own discretion)
updated 3.28.24
~Mod Q
A Milky Way Home by Hsinju Chen = adult, romance; transmasc/cis f biace4panace romance, described as low heat (author is nonbinary)
A Pale Light in the Black by K.B. Wagers = adult, science fiction; asexual MC, various other rep, coast guard in space
Alchemy by Marie S. Crosswell = adult, mystery; asexual lesbian MC, genderbent Sherlock
All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher = adult, romance; ace4ace m/m romance, identity discovery
An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows = adult, fantasy; allosexual aromantic MC in a poly relationship
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon = adult, science fiction; aroace side character, intersex MC, themes of oppression and racism
Blank Spaces & Finding Your Feet by Cass Lennox = adult, romance; both feature asexual MCs (second one features a trans LI)
The Bone People by Keri Hulme = adult, magical realism; aroace MC, themes of family and identity, deals with child abuse
The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia = adult, fantasy; aroace nonbinary MC, queernormative world-building
Catch Lili Too by Sophie Whittemore = adult, fantasy; asexual non-human MC, paranormal murder mystery
Chosen. Again. by J. Emery = adult, fantasy; asexual MC, saves the fantasy world as a teen then has to do it again as an adult
The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong = adult, sci fi-fantasy; asexual MC and found family dynamic
City of Strife by Claudie Arseneault = adult, fantasy; various rep including aspec (author is acearospec)
Coffee Cake by Michaela Grey = adult, romance; asexual MC, m/m relationship, mystery elements
The Crows by C.M. Rosens = adult, horror; ace (and aro?) major character, fucked up eldritch horror
Cupid Calling by Viano Oniomoh = adult, romance; demisexual biromantic MC, m/m romance, dating show setting, super fluffy
The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz = adult, science fiction; sapphic ace MC with a robot LI
Devon's Island by Si Clarke = adult, science fiction; aroace POV character, queernormative worldbuilding, various other rep
Eight Kinky Nights by Xan West = adult, romance; gray-ace MC, butch4femme friends-to-lovers, various other rep
Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace = adult, science fiction; aroace MC, dystopia, focus on platonic relationships (author is aroace)
From the Dark We Came by J. Emery = adult, paranormal; demisexual MC, m/m romance, vampires
The Heartbreak Handshake by J.R. Hart = adult, romance; asexual MC with a non-binary LI, fully chaste (author is autistic, adhd, and nonbinary)
How Not to Summon Your True Love by Sasha L. Miller = adult, romance; ace MC and ace LI, paranormal elements
Learning Curves by Ceillie Simkiss = adult, romance; asexual MC in an f/f relationship
Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky = adult, romance; demisexual MC, m/m relationship, mistakenly sent love confessions
Perfect Rhythm by Jae = adult, romance; rural lesbian romance with an asexual LI
Poisoned Primrose by Dahlia Donovan = adult, mystery; asexual autistic MC, middle-aged protagonist (author is autistic)
Rising from Ash by Jax Meyer = adult, romance; asexual MC in an f/f romance
The Romantic Agenda by Claire Kann = adult, romance; asexual MC, fake-dating (author of Let's Talk About Love)
Second Chance by Chelsea M. Cameron = adult/new adult, romance; demi bi MC in an f/f relationship, exes-to-lovers
Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed = adult, romance; demisexual MC in an f/f romance, pure fluff
Squared Away by Annabeth Albert = adult, romance; gray-a/demi MC, m/m romance with child acquisition
Stake Sauce: The Secret Ingredient Is Love. No Really by RoAnna Sylver = adult, paranormal; gray-a MC, deals with trauma
That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert = adult, romance; demisexual MC, fake-dating, m/f age gap romance
Thaw by Elyse Springer = adult, romance; asexual MC, an opposites-attract f/f romance
To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers = adult, science fiction; multiple ace characters, various other rep, space travel
The Trouble by Daria Defore = adult/new adult, romance?; gay aromantic MC, college setting
Upside Down by N.R. Walker = adult, romance; ace4ace m/m romance
We Go Forward by Alison Evans = adult, contemporary; aroace MC, centralized friendship
Werecockroach by Polenth Blake = adult, science fiction; aroace MC, deals with mental disability, also there are aliens
~
Common Bonds = anthology, speculative fiction; stories that highlight aromanticism and focus on platonic relationships
Goddess of the Hunt by Shelby Eileen = poetry, mythology; an exploration of Artemis being aroace
Queerly Loving = anthology, various genres; asexual and aromantic rep, various other rep including trans, polyamorous, and platonic relationships
~
A Dark and Starless Forest by Sarah Hollowell = young adult, paranormal; various rep including ace-spec, chosen family dynamic
Aces Wild: A Heist by Amanda DeWitt = young adult, thriller/mystery; several asexual characters
Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace = young adult, science fiction; aroace MC (according to author)
The Art of Saving the World by Corrine Duyvis = young adult, science fiction; asexual MC
Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp = young adult, mystery; asexual (and aro?) MC
Belle Revolte by Linsey Millery = young adult, fantasy; biromantic ace MC in an f/f romance
Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria = young adult, fantasy; major ace character, various other rep, centralized platonic relationship
Beyond the Black Door by A.M. Strickland = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC (demi-biromantic according to author)
Clariel by Garth Nix = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC, prequel to the Old Kingdom series
Dare Mighty Things by Heather Kaczynski = young adult, science fiction; asexual (and arospec?) MC
The Facts and Legends of Callie Catwell by Sophia DeRise = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC with lesbian LI
Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor = young adult, fantasy; several aspec characters
Forward March by Skye Quinlan = young adult, contemporary; asexual lesbian MC
Fourth World by Lyssa Chiavari = young adult, science fiction; demisexual MC and asexual MC (author is aroace)
From Under the Mountain by C.M. Spivey = young adult, fantasy; demisexual lesbian MC, aspec secondary characters
Good Angel by A.M. Blaushild = young adult, graphic novel; angel characters where asexual, aromantic, and agender are the assumed default but is explored with nuance
Help Wanted by J. Emery = young/new adult, fantasy; questioning aspec MC (and gender questioning)
Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie = young adult, science fiction; aroace MC, various other rep
Immoral Code by Lillian Clark = young adult, contemporary; asexual POV character, friendship dynamic with "fuck the rich" vibes
Island of Exiles by Erica Cameron = young adult, fantasy; asexual (secondary?) character, various other rep including intersex
It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano = young adult, contemporary; asexual-questioning MC, gray-a side character, deals with a toxic friendship
The Last 8 by Laura Pohl = young adult, science fiction; aromantic MC, alien invasion apocalypse
Little Black Bird by Anna Kirchner = young adult, fantasy; questioning aspec character
Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee = young adult, romance; trans male MC with asexual LI, m/m romance, fake dating
Meet You By Hachiko by Loren Greene = young adult, contemporary; aroace-spec MC, focus on friendship
Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko = young adult, fantasy; asexual secondary character, centralized platonic relationship
The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath = young adult, historical; asexual MC, emphasized friendship, all main characters are also disabled
The Rhythm of My Soul by Elin Dyer = young adult, mystery; aroace MC, ballet academy setting
Running with the Pack by A.M. Burns and Caitlin Ricci = young adult, contemporary; ace LI, polyamorous romance
Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand = young adult, horror; asexual POV character (all MCs are also sapphic), themes of grief, paranormal elements
Sea Foam and Silence & The Ice Princess's Fair Illusion by S.L. Dove Cooper = young adult, fairy tale; queerplatonic retellings in verse
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow = young adult, science fiction; demisexual (biromantic) MC, post-alien invasion dystopia
Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman = young adult, contemporary; asexual (and aro?) MC, deals with family death
The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, themes of family trauma and multiracial identity
Switchback by Danika Stone = young adult, thriller; aroace MC, survivalist situations
Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor = young adult, steampunk; aroace MC, various other rep, cat-and-mouse game
That's Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, deals with the aftermath of a school shooting
This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria = young adult, fantasy; aroace MC (author is aroace)
Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver = young adult, fantasy; aromantic (and ace?) MC, f/nb queerplatonic relationship
Vanilla by Billy Merrell = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, m/m relationship, coming-of-age
What We Devour by Linsey Miller = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC (biromantic according to author)
Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC
~
A-Okay by Jarad Greene = middle grade, graphic novel; asexual MC, deals with self-discovery and body image
Come Drink With Me, Gold and Jasper, East Flows the River by Michelle Kan = all ages?; described as aromantic chinese fairy tales
The Dragon of Ynys by Minerva Cerridwen = all ages, fairy tale; aroace MC (author is aroace)
Hazel's Theory of Everything by Lisa Jenn Bigelow = middle grade, contemporary; questioning aroace MC, themes of self-discovery
The Faerie Godmother's Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle = all ages?, fairy tale; major aroace character, focus on friendship
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Submissions for Most Transgender that didn’t make it into the bracket!
Duncan (2)
Idfk transmasc Duncan who also happens to be misogynistic is hilarious to me and makes him such a better character
Look,
Sammy (2)
How to make poorly-developed characters infinitely more interesting: transgenders them. That is a nonbinary egg
Demi-girl. fuck it, gives her cool gender juice
Crimson (2)
transmasc crimson
She's got that transfem swag. to me
DJ (2)
nomebinary. he likes lemonade
dj is so transgender in all ways but ive recently become rather fond of transfem dj. people keep telling her to man up and she's like huh? :(
Mal (2)
agender. He's been he/it
Yeah I know I just submitted svetlana but mal is also trans...
Wayne (2)
Wayne
Raj (2)
gay AND trans because i said so
Geoff (2)
He is canonically dickless. (That one moment in X-Treme Torture where they did not censor between his legs despite him lacking pants). Also he’s totally the type to display his top surgery scars proudly.
katie and sadie (2)
changing their names to be similar to eachother. its cute.
cody (2)
t4t coderra please please please
he's got toy cringe
Chase (2)
ripper do you think I'm transgender
he's rep for trans guys who are assholes!!!
Justin (2)
nobody will get it but me but trans girl justin please...
Intern Girl / That one intern that wayne helped (2)
Mike (2)
Tyler (2)
T4T LYLER SEE MY VISION..... he could go any way for me i love transmasc tylers i love transfem tylers....... i love you tyler
Jen (2)
You know Bulletproof heart... yeah Johnny/Jenny
she just gives transbian
Staci (2)
She's got that "just started transitioning" haircut
actually her great great great great great great grandparent invented gender. mhm. yah.
Junior (2)
i like to think the reason dwayne sr is all "man men manly men" is because he's trying to bond with his recently out son and supporting him in his transition. he's just being weird about it
Sam
She’s just an egg!!
Emma (2023)
Wanna know why we got another Emma after ridonculous race? It’s because TD Emma named herself after RR Emma during her transition
millie
nonbiney swaggr
transfem ennui
Chris McLean
Trans rights, sure, but Chris supports trans wrongs
scarlett
the mtf creature ever
all of them
none of these fuckers are cis
Dakota
both shawn and dave together
maybe its just all the fanart but they really bring out each others transmascness
Kitty
she is just so non-binary to me
Axel
Ripaxel can also be yaoi
Eva
Blaieneley (is that how u spell it??)
divorced trans swag
Me
Nichelle
Courtney
i can see it
Gwen's face
Gwen is trans therefore the boat "Gwen's face" is also trans. In this essay I will
Beardo
he has fucking voice dysphopria
Dave
failcore
Leonard
cant grow his own fucking wizard beard
rodney
stupid lesbian
topher
he transitioned just to rival chris
Caleb
i need to give him a redeeming feature
Emma tdr
transfem swag
brody
Kelly
milf and also trans. the whole package
Mary
that is just a trans woman in stem
tammy
she'z cute
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