#too tired to caption i just wanna post more met stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

multiharlot · 4 years

Text

josslyn / tom holland x reader, harry holland x reader

summary: based off of josslyn by olivia o’brien. listen to it here :)

warnings: cursing, angst, implied smut, mentions of blood and having a breakdown (lmao been there done that) and a reader who’s definitely had enough of tom’s shit.

masterlist

I know we never said where we drew the line But I was in your bed almost every night I thought we made it clear how we felt, read the signs But now there's nothing left 'Cause you did nothing right

you never intended on falling in love with him. but he just made it so damn easy. and for a moment, you were sure that he loved you too. the way he’d gently cradle you as you sleepily lolled your head onto his shoulder during a netflix binge. or how he’d always make sure to hold you tight when walking through large crowds. of course, you two never disclosed what exactly you two were to each other. but that’s only because you thought the actions exchanged between you two spoke so much louder than any pile of substandard words either of you would be able to conjure anyways. you had let every i love you, and every sincere emotion pour out into the way you kissed him. the way you bit into his shoulder to contain the involuntary noises that spilled past your lips. the way he stared into your eyes, connecting your foreheads as you gave yourself to him entirely. he held you close, your tired body melting into his strong arms, and your heart collapsing as he pressed his lips gently to your forehead. he raked his fingers through your hair, humming softly.

“i’m the luckiest man in the world.” he mumbled, causing a tired smile to grace your lips.

“i mean...yeah.” you sighed happily, laughter erupting from his mouht cuasing his chest to vibrate against your cheek.

soon, the two of you were entangled in each other’s arms, reveling in the laughter echoing off the walls. your heart illuminated by the love you thought surrounded you two.

You had to go and ruin it So you could get a quick fuck I'm sure you had fun doing it And I won't make a big fuss

you first saw the photos of them two when you were seated on your best friends couch. the notifications on your phone were exploding, definitely more than normal. your screen lit up with twitter and instagram notifications and the texts began pouring through, following your social media mentions. your eyebrows furrowed as you reached over, grabbing the remote from your best friend’s lap and pausing the movie you two were previously engrossed in.

“hey! it’s not time for our scheduled br- hey...what’s up?” they said, their tone softening as their sights fall onto you.

your lip quivered as you scrolled through the paparazzi photos of tom and the beautiful tall blonde woman. your eyes skimming over the headlines and captions. scrolling past all of the comments and quickly typing her name into your instagram search bar.

“ummm...hello? wanna tell me what’s happening?” your best friend asks, snapping their fingers in front of your face.

“it’s uhh...it’s tom. he uhhhh...i think he’s seeing someone.”

“sorry...he’s what!?” they exclaim, squishing themselves next to you and peering onto your phone screen, gasping as they looked at the photos.

“is that her?”

“yeah...yeah paps spotted them out together. holding hands and kissing and whatnot.” you mumble, a numb feeling spreading through your chest.

you two continued to investigate her further. what you knew so far was that she was an instagram model of sorts. your best friend grabs your hand tightly, leaning their head on your shoulder.

“i’m so sorry...” they sigh.

“don’t. ummm...it’s fine. well it’s not but...it’s whatever.” you shrug, standing up off the couch.

“y/n...” they sigh, and you just chuckle sadly.

“no really it’s cool. it’s fine.”

But know we're off and we'll never be on again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn Don't wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn I know we weren't together but we're more than friends Said you couldn't see me while she gave you head So please, don't ever call again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn

“y/n love i-”

you stick your hand up, closing his flat door behind you.

“i just came here to get my stuff. don’t worry.” you mumble, harrison and the twins stood behind you two, staring awkwardly.

tom pauses, his lips pursed slightly.

“wh- what? y/n no.” he says, shaking his head and grabbing your arm as you attempted to walk past him.

you shrug, adjusting the empty bag on your shoulder.

“i didn’t come here to talk.” you sigh, taking your arm from his hold and waving at the boys in the living room.

“hey boys, i’ll be quick. promise.” you say, a tight smile on your lips and you start throwing the random items you’d left in his flat into your bag.

“no it’s...we’re gonna go. it was good to see you.” harrison says, smiling sympathetically at you.

you nod, all of the boys giving you tight hugs and light head kisses as they walked past you. harry, however, clung tightly onto you. you two were always close.

“i’m sorry.” he mumbles into your hair.

“your not your brother, harry. don’t worry. i’m fine.” you say, nodding your head up at the tall curly haired boy.

he just sighs, shaking his head at his brother as he walks out of the flat.

“y/n can i please just explain-”

“no.” you say, walking past him and into the bedroom.

you pulled open the drawer he had designated for you, packing the clothes into the bag.

“y/n please. i just...i was drunk and honestly once it started happening i just couldn’t think of anything else and i-”

“you’re really good at making things worse for yourself.” you say sarcastically, slamming the now empty drawer shut.

“you deserve the truth and- can you look at me please!? can we talk about this like adults!?” he shouts, making you flinch.

you sigh, flipping the last item, your hairbrush, in your hands. you tuck it into the bag, zipping it shut and throwing it back over your shoulder.

“i didn’t come here to fight with you, tom.”

“don’t...don’t do that y/n. don’t shut your emotions off from me. yell at me. be angry, baby. hit me. scream at me. throw things. just please...talk to me.”

just for a second, you wanted to. you did. you wanted to scream and yell and throw his things out his own window. but you couldn’t. tom had taken enough from you, and you weren’t about to let him take your integrity too.

“no. what do i have to be angry about? sure we may have been more than friends, but like you said, it’s not like we were together anyways. here’s your key. i hope she was worth it.”

You didn't wanna be like the boys from before Well, look at what you did, 'cause you hurt me more You didn't have to lie like the truth is a chore I guess I can't be mad 'Cause I was never yours

the lack of emotion you were displaying was concerning to those around you. you continued on with your life. you posted things you would’ve normally posted. you went out with your friends, partied, drank, had a good time. it was almost as though tom had never existed. your best friend came by almost everyday just to check on you. as did harrison and the twins. and of course, you had convinced them you were fine. you were still eating and you were just fine. nothing like the way you used to be the many other times you’d had your heart broken by the men tom promised he’d never become. but you’d convinced yourself that you weren’t allowed to be angry at anyone but yourself. you let yourself believe that there was love blossoming in infertile soil. you were never his to begin with, so who were you to be angry when he denied being yours? this went on for a few weeks. you continued living your life as though these events had no effect on you. but everyone knew better. you knew better. you were in pain, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

You had to go and ruin it So you could get a quick fuck I'm sure you had fun doing it And I won't make a big fuss But know we're off and we'll never be on again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn

tom being who he was, and your affiliation with him, meant you were bombarded with press and tweets and messages from gossip outlets trying to get the scoop on the situation. so tom’s publicist had reached out to you, a non-disclosure agreement in hand. this, this was your breaking point. you were on your couch watching the great british baking show on netflix and judging the chefs as though either of you could do any better. then the knock came to your door. you sighed, pausing your show and walking over to your door expecting to see harrison and the twins or your best friend stopping by to come and check on you as they did, but instead, you were met face to face with tom’s publicist megan.

“ummm...hi?” you say, your eyebrows furrowing as you clutched the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“hi. can i come in?” she asks, smiling sickeningly.

“uhhh...sure.” you mumble, holding open the door for her and allowing her to step inside.

she walks straight past you and into your kitchen, seating herself at your dining room table.

“no. just make yourself right at home.” you grumble underneath your breath, locking the door behind you.

“so i’m just going to get straight to the point. i know you’re aware of all of this drama happening with you and tom and josslyn. so i thought i’d pop by and bring this over. just so we can assure that tom’s career isn’t-”

“hold on...i- i know you didn’t come by just to bring me a non disclosure agreement?” you scoffed, leaning forward on the table.

“with tom’s new films premiering, it’s imperative that he’s not derailed by any scandals.” she explains, pulling the contract out of the manilla envelope, and sliding it across the table.

you wanted to keep your cool, because you understood. you really did. but for some reason, out of everything that’d happened. this was your breaking point.

“are you fucking kidding me right now? you seriously think i’m a fucking liability? after how long since shit hit the fan for him, i still haven’t said a single fucking word. but at this point, i think i should! you’re not going to come into my house and speak to me as if i’m some fucking risk to tom’s career like he didn’t just fucking rip my heart out of my chest and throw it into the fucking garbage disposal. so you and this dumb ass contract, can get the hell out of my flat. and i swear to you, if you come back here with that shit, not only will i not sign it, but i’ll contact every fucking media outlet i could possibly think of and release an official statement on just how much of a piece of shit tom actually is. get the hell out.” you growl, and his publicist scoffs.

“i’m afraid i can’t-”

“oh you can’t? cool. then you stay right there, and i’ll call the police to have you removed from my property. how’s that for bad publicity?”

Don't wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn I know we weren't together but we're more than friends Said you couldn't see me while she gave you head So please, don't ever call again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn

you sat on the floor of your kitchen, drained of energy and feeling completely empty. you weren’t sure what had come over you, but you didn’t regret it. you weren’t sure how long you were sitting there, but a soft knock flooded your ears. you sighed, pushing yourself up off the ground and pulling the door open, coming face to face with tom. your breath hitched in your throat and he fidgeted awkwardly.

“i didn’t want this.” he says, and you look down at his hands, where the manilla folder was placed.

you scoffed, snatching the envelope from his hands and pulling the contract out.

“can i come in-”

“no.” you bluntly say as your eyes skimmed over the contents of the contract.

you nodded you head, pretending to skim over the fine print. you grabbed a pen from your hallway table, and you could hear him let out a sigh of relief.

“thank you y/n. i know i don’t deserve this but i-” his speech immediately stopped as he saw you scribble over the contract.

‘NO’

you smiled, handing the contract back to tom.

“i already told you. i don’t want to fight. and i don’t want to see you again. you made your bed, lie in it. i’m not signing shit. if you or your publicist show up again, i will be pressing charges, this is borderline harassment.” you deadpan, slamming the door in his face.

you bit your lower lip, looking up at your ceiling, listening to tom pleading outside your door. shouting his apologies and attempting to get you to respond.

“i don’t even care about this stupid contract y/n! i just want you! so go ahead, go to the media. tell everyone how shitty i am. i’m an idiot! is that what you want to hear!?” he shouts.

“go home, tom!” you shout, your voice cracking slightly as the tears began spilling down your cheeks.

“baby please...just open the door.” he says, leaning towards the door.

you cup your hand over you mouth in attempt to silence your cries, and he sighs. you hear him walking off and when you hear the car start, you let the sobs escape.

Can't believe I was so stupid Just another girl you ruined My friends said I shouldn't do it Should've listened, guess I blew it

shattered glass littered the floor as you continued to cry out. the months of emotions finally spilling out, and you couldn’t breathe. you tried, gasping for breath as you tugged at the roots of your hair, your cries becoming more and more panicked. you remembered your friends telling you that relationships like that never ended well. and at first, you thought they meant friends with benefits. because to the outside eye, that’s what you two seemed like. friends who sometimes liked to sleep with each other. but you could’ve sworn there was more there. you let yourself fall after having your heart broken so many times before. you so stupidly allowed yourself to hurt like this again. you let him break you. and now here you were. throwing picture frames and having a break down on your living room floor, praying that someone, anyone, could come and save you from yourself. you crawled across the ground, sobbing over the mess you’d made and attempting to pick up the pieces, shouting out when you sliced open the corner of your palm.

“y/n!?”

you didn’t bother looking up, you just continued trying to clean up the broken glass. a pair of hands grab yours and you look up, meeting harry’s soft eyes.

“i- i can’t. it’s so messy and i need it clean. i need to clean it i-”

“love, come here. it’s okay. it’s okay.” he coos, taking you into his arms.

your knees buckle underneath you and your butt hits the floor and harry pulls you onto his lap, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed.

“it hurts. i can’t do it. it hurts.” you sob, the images of you and tom flooding your head, finally coming to terms that it was over.

that he didn’t love you the way you wished he had. he didn’t love you the way you loved him.

“i know, darling. come here, let me see.” sam whispers, crouching down next to you and pulling your hand up from your lap and examining the bloody palm, harrison crouching down next to him.

harry continued running his fingers through your hair, placing gentle kisses to your hairline.

“you don’t need stitches, so let’s get this cleaned up and get you into bed, huh?” harrison smiles softly, pushing your hair off of your wet cheeks.

you hiccuped, nodding tiredly and the boys help you stand up, and harrison takes you in his arms, carrying you over the messy floor, the glass crunching underneath his shoes.

“i’m sorry.” you whimpered, and he sighs, placing you on the counter.

“you have no reason to apologize, dear. you’re going to be alright, yeah?”

you nod, but you knew, you wouldn’t be alright. not for a while.

your head was perched gently on top of harry’s shoulder. his fingers combing softly through your messy hair as the two of you stared blankly at the movie playing on your tv screen. neither of you truly paying attention to it. your head was too polluted with toxic thoughts and concerns over tom, and harry was preoccupied looking at you. his heart aching for the girl he’d let fall into the hands of the wrong man. the girl he’d loved. harrison had gone out to buy you more first aid supplies for your hands and sam was downstairs, cleaning up your living room.

“he came by today. he wanted me to sign an NDA.” you mumble, feeling harry tense beside you.

“he may be my brother, but he’s an absolute div.” he scoffs.

you shrug.

“i get it. it’s his career. but i wasn’t gonna say anything.” you sigh, and harry leans his head on top of yours.

“i know, love. i know. but don’t think about tom. he’s dumb and he doesn’t know what he’s lost. how about you get some sleep, huh?” he smiles softly, massaging your scalp in attempt to get you to fall asleep.

your eyes shut softly, as you hummed softly, allowing the relaxation to take over your body. and harry watched you fall asleep, the peaceful look replacing the melancholic one that coated your face only moments before. he thought this might’ve been his own sick and twisted version of if you love her, let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be. he saw how much you loved tom, and despite it killing him inside, he let you go. and he couldn’t help but think back to the conversation when you asked him if it was alright if you’d gone after tom. he can’t help but think that if he’d said what he wanted to in that moment, you wouldn’t be here, hurting. he sighed, placing his hand on your jaw and running his thumb over your tear stained cheek.

“i hope that it was worth it, tom.”

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #harry holland x reader #angst #harry holland imagine #x reader

457 notes · View notes

freddiesaysalright · 5 years

Text

Catching Up Part XI

A Joe Mazzello x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader is a writer for an entertainment news network and after Joe comes in to do an interview, they reconnect. Unexpectedly, they’re having a child together.

Word Count: 2.9 K

Tag List: @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @jennyggggrrr @somethinginthewayiam, @grandaddy-roger-trash, @rogerloveshiscar, @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing, @danamaleksworld, @mrsmazzello, @reedusteinrambles, @rexorangecouny, @caborhapch, @kurt-nightcrawler, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @queendeakyy, @hotttspace, @anxious-diabetic, @someone-get-a-medic, @psychosupernatural, @lizvxx, @cobra-anon, @anotherhystericalqueen The story’s almost over, but it’s not too late to be added to the tag list! Let me know!

A/N: This chapter is super fluffy. But, once again, setting some important stuff. Little Joey is arriving soon! Also, special appearances from Bri and Rog in this one :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X

Part XI here we go!!!

You were free of Nick, but you could not force yourself out of your anxiety about cameras. You were doing so much better now. You were at a point where Joe - but only Joe - could take your photo. After you got your closure with Nick, you allowed him to post one of you onto his Instagram. It made you nervous, and you wondered if people might discover your old shame, but you pushed that all away. Joe posted a photo of you, holding your little bump right after he’d made you laugh. It was a great shot.

That was something that helped. When Joe made you laugh, you were immediately relaxed, almost unaware that he was taking a picture at all. He knew just how to make you comfortable enough to get an amazing one of you. Even you couldn’t deny they looked good.

His captions melted your heart as well. The first photo he put up that included your face read: “This is my beautiful girlfriend. She’s amazingly brave, talented, and smart. She’s also giving me the greatest joy of my life. Y/N, I love you. I can’t wait to see our son grow up guided by the greatest mother in the world.” It got you choked up.

Everything would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for your pregnancy making you feel sick and tired all the time. Your headaches were pretty intense, and you still had nausea. You also had swelling around your ankles that you were positive couldn’t be normal. You had a doctor’s appointment before you would leave for Los Angeles, and you made a note to tell Dr. Barrow your concerns. Joe wouldn’t be going with you because he’d be in London for the UK premiere of BoRhap. You promised to send him a picture, though.

You weren’t sure you liked Dr. Barrow much. When you told him about what you were going through, he insisted it was normal pregnancy stuff. He seemed a bit uninterested and overwhelmed by the fact that he also had Dr. Jones’s patients. You felt completely dismissed and unheard.

“Dr. Barrow,” you said. “I don’t think you understand. These headaches are splitting -”

“They’re always ‘splitting’ to you ladies, aren’t they?” he returned with a tired wave of his hand. “I assure you, what you’re going through is normal.”

You frowned. “And it’s still okay for me to drive all the way to LA?”

He nodded. “Of course. As long as you get plenty of rest and continue to take your prenatal vitamins, you and your baby will be fine.”

You felt a little uneasy about him, but took his word that you’d be fine. That afternoon, when you told Joe about it over FaceTime, he seemed concerned, but unsure how to handle it.

“I guess we have to trust him,” he said. “He’s the professional.”

You shrugged. “I suppose so. Hey, do you want to see the picture?”

“Of course!”

You held up the sonogram. “Behold, my love, your child.”

He chuckled. “Aw, he’s amazing! I miss you two.”

“We miss you too,” you replied. “But I’m sure you’re having loads of fun in London.”

He began excitedly telling you what he and the guys had been up to. You smiled and listened carefully, laughing a few times. Your hand rested limply on your baby bump, phone dangling from the pop socket. All of a sudden, Joey gave a mighty kick, knocking your phone right out of your hand and it slid onto the bed.

“Joey!” you gasped, poking him gently. “That was rude!”

“Baby?” Joe’s voice came from somewhere in the covers. “What just happened?”

You picked up your phone and held it properly. “Your son just kicked the phone out of my hand.”

He laughed. “Wow, he’s a strong boy.”

“This is hardly congratulatory behavior,” you returned.

“Is he still moving?” he asked. “I wanna see.”

You lowered phone to your protruding belly, and focused the camera so he could see Joey’s little feet popping up. Joe gasped.

“It only gets more awesome every time I see it!” he said.

“Do you miss your daddy, Joey?” you cooed to your belly. “I miss him too.”

“I’ll be home soon,” he said as you brought the phone up to your face again. “Just one more day and then I’ll be on a plane.”

Shortly after, you said goodnight and tried to get some sleep. It felt awfully lonely in the house by yourself, but you took comfort in the fact that Joe would be home soon. Then you would start your first family road trip.

You followed the premiere coverage from your desk at work. Several people were watching, since you worked in entertainment. Emily sat with you, shaking her head in amazement.

“I can’t believe you’re going to the one in LA,” she said. “It looks so glamorous.”

“Or terrifying,” you said with a gulp.

You could see all the cameras and flashing lights as Joe and the rest walked down the carpet and into the theater. Your heart gave a nervous flutter.

“Oh, Joe’s talking,” she said. “Turn it up.”

You did so and you caught that the reporter was asking about you and the baby.

“Yeah, Y/N is doing great and so is the baby,” he said, beaming. “I’m so excited, I feel like I have so many blessings right now. Between this film and having a family, I just...I can hardly believe I’m so lucky.”

“How did you meet Y/N?” the reporter asked.

“We actually knew each other as kids!” Joe told her. “Fourth grade. We were friends and then she moved away, but we found each other again through work.”

“Wow, that’s amazing!” the reporter said.

“Right?” Joe agreed. “Where’s our Hallmark movie?”

She laughed. “So, are you two hearing wedding bells?”

“We’ve talked about it, and we know we want to commit to each other,” he said. “No plans to bite that bullet just yet though. We’re focused on getting the baby here.”

“That’s a good thing to focus on,” she said. “Thanks for talking with us, Joe. And congratulations!”

“Thank you!” he returned and walked over to the next camera.

Emily sighed. “The way he talks about you is so sweet. I mean, his eyes just light right up. That must be so nice.”

You smiled. “It’s wonderful. He’s wonderful.”

Forty-eight hours went by, and before you knew it, you and Joe were on the road, heading west to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to stop and sight see because you were on a tight schedule to make it there in time for the premiere. Even so, Joe made it fun. He told you a bit about LA, since you’d never been before. Nervous as you were about the premiere, you were excited to be there with Joe.

The night of the premiere came. You and Joe were staying with Rami and Lucy. You honestly considered pretending to be ill to get out of it. You were so nervous, your body shook. Lucy had to help you into your dress and do your hair because you were just unable.

“Y/N, if you can’t do this, you don’t have to go,” Lucy said gently as she laid a curl across your shoulder. “Joe will understand.”

“No, I promised him I would,” you insisted. “Besides, like Joe always tells me, I can do anything.”

She smiled. “You two are adorable.”

“How do you do this, Lucy?” you asked. “What a good trick to keep in mind?”

“Focus on one thing at a time instead of the big picture,” she advised. “That way it doesn’t seem like so much. Stick close to Joe, and you’ll be alright.”

You nodded.

When you met Joe and Rami downstairs, they both gaped at the two of you.

“You look wonderful,” Rami said to his girlfriend. “You both do.”

“Lucy looks wonderful,” you returned playfully. “I look like a planet.”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about,” Joe said, feigning offense.

You all chuckled.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said seriously, kissing you on the cheek. “I love you.”

The four of you headed out to the awaiting limo to take you to the theater and the premiere. You felt so on edge that even a bump in the road made you grip Joe’s hand tighter. You hadn’t gotten to try having other people take photos and videos of you, and you were unsure if you could handle it.

“Fuck, I wish I could drink,” you said under your breath.

Joe laughed. “I wish you could too. I’m pretty sure you’re breaking my fingers.”

“Imagine what it’ll be like during childbirth,” Rami joked.

“Oh please, childbirth isn’t nearly as bad as they make it out to be in movies,” you said.

“You’re not scared, Y/N?” Lucy wondered.

You looked at her and shrugged. “Not really, no. My body is made to do it. And with an epidural, I won’t feel much besides pressure.”

She looked impressed. You gave Joe’s hand another nervous squeeze.

“I’m gonna check your pulse,” he said. “You still have feeling in your fingers?”

You nodded. “So far.”

“That’s good,” he said gently. He pressed his fingers to your neck. “Definitely got a quick pulse, but you’re doing so well, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“I hope you’re not speaking too soon,” you muttered.

“I’m not,” he told you. “We’ve arrived.”

The car came to a stop. You sucked in a breath and looked wildly at him.

“You guys go,” he said to Rami and Lucy. “We’re right behind you.”

They shuffled out of the car. Joe took your face in his hands and held your gaze fiercely.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said. “Everyone here loves you. You got this. Stay with me.”

You nodded. He placed a swift peck on your lips. He moved so he could exit the car first. When he opened the door, you gulped. He stepped out, and you briefly considered telling the driver to go and take you with him. But you would not abandon Joe. Carefully, you scooted to the door, sticking one foot out and letting it hit the carpet. You reached out your hand, and Joe’s found it. You held your swollen belly and Joe practically lifted you out of the car.

The roar was deafening. The cameras clicked, reporters shouted questions, and music blasted from somewhere else. You held Joe’s arm and took a deep breath. The car pulled away as you stepped forward and you were forced to resign yourself to it.

You glanced at the cameras and felt your stomach drop. Joe’s arm secured you around your waist and you met his eyes.

“Stay with me,” he said again, and kissed your temple.

You let him lead you down the carpet closer to the cameras. Joe walked up to the first reporter, who was from the LA office of Everything Entertainment. You beamed at his consideration. He thought that if you knew the company you were talking to, you might feel more comfortable.

“We’ve been dying to see your beautiful baby mama up close, Joe,” the reporter said before grinning at you. “You look stunning.”

“Th-thank you,” you managed.

“How far along are you?” she asked.

“Just over six months,” you replied.

“Really?” she gasped. “You seriously look great to be six months pregnant. When’s the due date?”

“February 20th,” Joe answered.

“You guys excited?”

“We’re positively giddy,” he said.

The next few interviews went similarly. You found yourself relaxing more and more each minute. Everyone told you how great you looked, and you let yourself believe them. The security of having Joe beside you made you feel at home. Then, you saw two people who made your heart skip a beat: Brian May and Roger Taylor. You slapped Joe’s arm with excitement.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Holy shit,” you breathed, nodding your head toward them.

“Oh, yeah, let’s go say hi,” he said, grabbing your hand and taking you over.

They were talking to the rest of the cast already so you were grateful you could blend in. Joe clearly wasn’t letting that happen.

“Bri, Rog,” he said. “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My wonderful girlfriend who is having my baby.”

They both shook your hand and smiled kindly at you. You opened your mouth to say hello, but at that moment, little Joey kicked out once more. You gasped and clutched it.

“You alright?” Joe asked.

“He’s kicking,” you returned. “I guess he wants to say hello too. You guys wanna feel?”

They both agreed and placed their hands softly on your belly. You could hardly believe the founding members of Queen were gushing over your baby bump. They also told you you looked beautiful.

“A little boy, yeah?” asked Roger

You nodded. “Little Joey!”

“Very sweet,” said Brian. “Congratulations, to both of you.”

He hugged you and kissed your cheeks. Roger followed suit. Now you really thought you might faint.

Ben came bounding over to you suddenly. He embraced Roger first, then Brian, and then he practically tackled Joe, kissing his neck. Joe laughed, clapping Ben on the back as they swayed together for a moment.

“I missed you, mate,” Ben said.

“It’s been like five days,” Joe returned. “But that is five days too long, huh?”

Ben nodded and then came over to you. He grinned and rubbed your belly as he hugged you.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said.

“Hi, Ben,” you returned.

“You feeling alright?” he wondered.

You smiled and nodded. Gwilym came over next and greeted you just as warmly, though without nearly knocking Joe off his feet. He also kissed your cheek.

“Hi, Y/N,” he said. “You look so lovely. How’s the baby?”

“He’s fantastic,” you said. “Thank you for asking.”

Allen approached next, extending his hand politely before introducing himself. “It’s great to finally meet you in person!”

“You too!” you agreed.

When Rami and Lucy joined, the photographers started yelling, desperate for a shot of everyone together with Brian and Roger. You started to back out of the frame, but Joe and Ben each took one of your arms and forced you back in. You giggled and accepted it. You truly didn’t think this night could get any better.

The movie was fantastic. You were a sobbing mess by the end of it, because they told the story well, and you were so incredibly proud of these people who had become your friends. You felt it was a great success.

The afterparty was also so fun. Originally, you had planned to go back to Rami and Lucy’s, but Joe insisted on going to the afterparty. He said it was going to be great and you needed to be there. Rolling your eyes, you indulged him, but you really did end up having a great time. They got Queen karaoke going, and Joe was perhaps the most enthusiastic of everyone.

“If I could have everyone’s attention for a second,” Joe said, when the party was in full swing. “I have a little dedication I’d like to make to my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N. This song is called Misfire and it’s written by John Deacon.”

Everyone laughed, including you, but the music didn’t start.

“I’m kidding,” he said. “I’m not singing Misfire. But, Y/N, if you could join me up here.”

Rami helped you to your feet and onto the stage. Your heart was beating wildly as you felt the room of eyes on you. You turned to Joe, holding his gaze.

“Y/N,” he said, and you saw tears begin to form in his brown eyes. “This is a really special night, for a few reasons. First is the release of our wonderful film, Bohemian Rhapsody. Second is...well...I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love a person. And you’re giving me something that I can never even hope to repay you for. Our son.”

“Joe…” you sighed, choking up.

“Hold on, I’m not finished,” he said. “I knew from the minute I met you - back in fourth grade - that no matter what happened, we’d be together. It was just a physical law of the universe. The years and geography kept us apart, but we’ve certainly done a lot of catching up since then.” The crowd chuckled. “I don’t want to waste any more time.”

He sank to one knee and your heart leapt to your throat. He pulled a ring from his pocket and held it out to you as you - and everyone else - gasped. The ring was beautiful. The stone was not a diamond, but a pearl. It was unique, like you and Joe, and your story.

“Y/N,” he began again. “Will you marry me?”

You could barely form words. Your brain buzzed with elation. Slowly, you nodded, tears falling from your eyes.

“Yes!” you finally choked out and he slipped the ring on your finger. “Oh my God, Joe, yes!”

He leapt to his feet and pulled you in for the kiss of a lifetime. This kiss was the seal of your promise to each other. The people around you erupted into applause. Ben whistled loudly. You and Joe came down the steps together, immediately getting hugs and kisses from your friends. But nothing else mattered when you locked eyes with Joe again. He was it for you. Your whole future. Your whole heart. Everything was just you and Joe.

135 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

LOL sorry not sorry, I don’t care how annoying or repetitive it makes me sound, when it comes to Dick and Jason’s relationship when they were younger, I am a broken record on eternal repeat and can’t stop won’t stop.

Like, if there’s an even slightly tangential place for me to reference “bee tee dubs, Dick didn’t hate Jason, there is literally no canon of that, Dick was literally written making a point to put aside his resentment towards Bruce for Jason’s sake. After Jason’s origin was rebooted to the stealing the tires story, and his first encounter with Dick being rebooted to the druglab teamup, Dick made a point to give him his blessing and Robin costume and phone number and offer of being there so Jason could have a family relationship that didn’t depend on Bruce, had nothing to do with Bruce, like he literally stood there and gave him advice about how he knows how Bruce is better than anyone, and that not talking about stuff is Bruce’s problem but that doesn’t mean Jason had to make it his, so gimme a call whenever Bruce is being a pain - and yet even in fanfics that reference this exact story and even the part about Dick giving him his phone number, they all go on to write about how Jason tried calling but Dick never picked up, because yeah like it really matches ANY characterization of Dick Grayson to say he already went to the effort of extending that hand to his replacement only to then just end up ghosting the kid, please.

Even Bruce recognized all that as an actual effort on Dick’s part, with the last panel of that issue being Creeper!Batdad spying on his two boys bonding together and saying “Thank you, Dick” even though neither of them could hear it. And just like the Nightwing: Year One retcon that revised yet again the specifics of how Dick was fired, became Nightwing, Jason was taken in and made Robin, and Dick and Jason met for the first time (and ended the story yet again on good terms, like they were literally teasing each other)....like these stories only retconned the hows and whens of Jason becoming Robin and Dick becoming Nightwing and how they first met. And they were flashbacks. Because Jason’s rebooted origin story was written fourteen issues before the issue he died.

There wasn’t time to chronologically show any other interactions between Dick and Jason in that short a time frame, especially when the next Titans story took Dick offworld until after Jason had already died. So unless you wanna go with the idea that Jason actually at most was Robin for a few months and ignore every other story with him as Robin that was then just supposed to be read as being set after Batman #416/Nightwing: Year One.....its made fairly clear that even without us being actually shown on panel the first time Jason called Dick or Dick reached out to him again, whichever it was....I mean, one of those two definitely happened. Because otherwise you’re suggesting that Batman #416 or Nightwing: Year One were literally the ONLY times Jason and Dick even interacted, period.....because that’s the timeline.

Every which way you look at New Earth continuity, those issues were of Dick and Jason’s FIRST encounter, and so saying this never led to any kind of bonding between them after that because Dick didn’t pick up or Jason died before he could use the number....like, it basically implies that Dick and Jason only met once the entire time Jason lived with Bruce and was Robin, and has there ever been any interaction between them after Under The Red Hood that suggests these are two guys who literally only met ONCE and once only, and only knew each other by reputation before that?

Nope. Because the issues that have them interacting as brothers are all still canon, the events within them are canon, and thus that relationship between them is canon. They’re just supposed to be read as having happened AFTER Dick and Jason met in the new retconned ways of Batman #416 or Nightwing: Year One....hence why the former opened with the caption: One Year Ago, and the latter was similarly just meant to retcon the specifics of their first meeting.

But it literally doesn’t work to acknowledge Jason saying to Tim that he was a Titan too once, in reference to the two stories he teamed up with them, and then act like the parts where Dick was the complete and total opposite of an aloof, bitter asshole to him just....somehow got cut out of that story.

Its literally only fanfic that insisted on that interpretation of Dick and Jason pre-Death in the Family, (well, at least before someone told Scott Lobdell about it, I’d guess, lol, because like....I bet more than anything he just heard that fanon take and figured it made sense and ran with it because he thinks the only way for Jason to be a bad ass is if he’s hard and broody and isolated and alone, and he obviously can’t be that if his family like, loves him lfashiofhalfsh, don’t be ridiculous.”)

Anyway. Its not like I feel like everyone needs to be a Dick Grayson fan or agree he’s the best Robin or most important or even feel a need to make comparisons or rank the brothers at all.....but given that the experience of seeing a character you relate to be condemned for shit they didn’t do or unappreciated for stuff they did do IS such a hugely relatable experience and that’s WHY its such a huge fanfic trope......like, that one particular thing is always gonna be the thing in Batfamily fandom that always just makes me RAAAAAH with thwarted rage over my inability to make a mind ray gizmo that makes everyone share my opinions and nobody else’s. Knew I should have paid more fucking attention it science class.

You can write dynamics and characters any way you want, nobody’s saying you can’t, but just....when you then make a point to use actual canon to back up your takes on Jason and Tim, but revert to this fanon in order to prop up the two of them as misunderstood and unappreciated by Dick and thus they’re totally right to view his attempts to hug them or express affection as him overcompensating and feeling guilty about being an asshole before....like...

Bah. Its just really annoying to consistently see the one and only character in the Batfamily who makes a point to regularly express affection for his family and his desire for them to be more like a family....like, rewritten as this pompous douchebag that has never understood them and that’s why they’re totally justified in being written as treating him (who btw, a shit ton of his fans DO like and relate to and project upon due to his being a canon rape survivor)...like when they end up treating his attempts to show physical affection in stories like its a VIOLATION that they want no part of and he’s yet even more of an asshole for never getting this.....when there’s over a decade of comics full of Dick physically showing his affection for Tim and Tim very much appreciating it....just like Dick did the same with Jason when he was Robin, and Jason, again, was shown appreciating it, not treating it as a refusal to respect his boundaries.

That more than anything is what bugs.

Anyway. LOL. Yeah wtf, this is literally just me thinking out loud as usual, and I stg the actual inception of this post was just me rereading TNTT #31 again today and then immediately after going to read some fic which was a Mistake as winning bingo and getting three fics in a row with a line about how like....Jason resents Dick trying to hug him on his birthday because its clear to him Dick is just overcompensating for having been an asshole to him when they were younger and like....sigh. Epic, eternal forever sigh. Oh, fandom. Why. Whyyyyyyyy.

I just....I defy anyone to look at this scan and tell me how they see anything remotely along the lines of Dick resenting Jason for replacing him and being an asshole to him because of it or at least just aloof, and Jason resenting Dick because he was aware of this and never got the approval or recognition from Dick that he wanted and needed. And again, whenever you offhandedly reference Jason having been a Titan in pre-Reboot continuity....this is what you’re referencing, meaning you’re literally saying that THIS happened every bit as much as Batman #416.

(Btw, the trouble Dick references as Jason and the Titans bailing him out of, was them rescuing him from being kidnapped and brainwashed yet again by the Church of Blood, and it revealed that they’d secretly been controlling him for over a year before that. So....its in the actual literal aftermath of THAT, that Dick offers to take the fall with Bruce to keep Jason out of trouble, and selling all that as though it was Dick’s fault. Which....sounds like pretty consistent Dick Grayson characterization to me...just saying).

59 notes · View notes

ifbrd · 5 years

Text

Episode Commentary for Wordgirl “Showdown at the Secret Spaceship Hideout”

As requested by an anon, I’m going to do an Episode Commentary (that’s what I’m gonna call them, they need a name so I know what to title the post and have people know what the heck it is) of the WordGirl episode “Showdown at the Secret Spaceship Hideout”

I’m going to apologize in advance for the number of times I say “also” “can we just take a moment to appreciate” “I love that...” and “Me”

Look at Two Brains Drawings! <3

Me as a villain

This is something I love about this show; they have realistic conversations. This is absolutely a slip-up someone would make if they were having an off day. I make stupid mistakes like this all day every day XD This honestly isn’t my favorite example of this, but it’s a good one none-the-less.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate this very important image of Huggy doing what he does best and rarely gets to do anymore since coming to Earth.

Hey! Wait a minute!

Well Dr. Two Brains, clearly it works on doubled brained citizens too!

Huggy approves of this crash-land

I have nothing to say about this, it’s just a good bit of dialogue and it must have its moment to shine.

…I have got to start setting reminders for myself like this. Also, I love that she looks at her boots and nods like “yes, yes they are” as if she wasn’t the person who said that in the first place.

And thus, begins an entire episode of Huggy being annoyed and disapproving.

Okay, I’m pretty sure the line was “Change it back” but thanks for trying, I guess. Anyway, I lowkey love this brief tantrum she throws. It reminds us she’s still a kid. She’s a kid taking on adult responsibilities, and moments like this remind us that she’s not perfect, sometimes she just wants to do something for herself and she will still get upset when things go wrong.

I took this screenshot for no other reason than to prove that the line was “Change it back!”

Nothing gets past these two

Do I detect saltiness in that cheese? That was me trying to be clever. (OMG I have Word set to read stuff out loud so I can catch mistakes easier, and idk why but when it said this sentence I LOST IT) Also “often uninvited”—implying that there were a few instances where he did invite her.

LOLLYGAGGERS!!

It’s funny because it’s not the weirdest threat I’ve heard on this show.

You don’t know Wordgirl...at all...

Huggy’s annoyed, but at least he has snacks.

Me doing my homework

We all know Pretty Princess is supposed to represent WordGirl in this episode but let’s acknowledge that the horse is clearly supposed to be Huggy—disapproving of the plan, giving her annoyed looks the entire time, but ultimately doing nothing to stop her from procrastinating.

lol poor Huggy

Amazing, done-before-but-I’ll-never-get-tired-of-hearing-it joke aside, I”m convinced that Huggy already knew what procrastinate means, he just wanted her to define it so she’d realize she’s doing it.

Plan failed.

When I said Pretty Princess was me doing my homework, I meant it.

WordGirl was me watching the Gravity Falls finale. Huggy was my brother watching me watch the Gravity Falls finale.

TBH I just wanted a good shot of this room, but can we appreciate the light coming from the window? Like I feel that there’s no reason to put that much detail into the lighting and they did it anyway. Also, I want to see this window on the outside of the ship.

HE LOOKS AT THE AUDIENCE

I CANT XD

What’s the butterfly room like? Why is there a butterfly room? Why have we never seen this butterfly room because I really want to see the butterfly room!

Me when someone in my family brings home Oreos

Who wants to play spot the episodic easter egg!

This is it. this is my favorite Two Brains line.

Huggy’s been annoyed with her the entire episode because he knew this very thing could happen. He could say “I told you!” he could leap into action, but instead he’s like “I’ve got one last pretzel, just let me finish it…”

Sorry, I didn’t mean to have all this hoo-ha in the screenshot. I thought about retaking it…but you can see the things I want to point out alright so maybe later. I lowkey want to do a separate post on this. Anyway, this is clearly Huggy’s stuff, and the two things I want to point out are the framed picture of Huggy and an unknown superhero on the left, and various pictures and documents on a bulletin board to the right. I wish we had clearer pictures, I’d love to examine them more, but the framed one does certainly imply that Huggy has worked with or at least met other superheroes aside from WordGirl. I’d also really love to know what those documents are.

Villains traipsing through his ship warrants almost no reaction, but you touch his stuff and suddenly you’re messing with the devil!

I love that he’s still willing to take over her hideout just because the henchmen love it, despite the fact that they “haven’t been too helpful”

I’ve got a couple of things to say here: 1. In the second picture: Strike a pose Two Brains! 2. I gotta rant because this is honestly scary to me. He doesn’t remember writing a book. It takes him a second to realize he wrote it, and it probably was seeing his old name that triggered it. He doesn’t recognize the title. Who forgets they wrote a book?? Writing a book is a lloooooooonng process that takes months to years, it takes up a good chunk of your life, there’s no way you’d just forget it. The mouse brain has more control than we’ve realized, it's controlling his memories. That’s literally the only explanation for just blanking out on writing an entire damn book. It took me months to write a children’s book and he basically wrote an entire textbook! That’s not something you’re gonna bust out in a weekend and forget about!

Another rant! She got most of her superhero knowledge from Steven’s book. Not from Huggy like I’d always assumed. I still stand by the idea that Huggy gave her a solid foundation of training to start with, and she learned more on her own through books like these and personal wisdom and experience. But she got most of her knowledge and tactics not from her own superhero based culture, but from a book by a guy who never was (that we know of) and isn’t a superhero himself. She got more wisdom from some guy observing superheroes than her own heritage. This pretty much confirms that Steven was extremely popular in the superhero community, for him to be able to observe and probably interview for reference that many heroes to get that much knowledge.

They made a movie on his book! I wanna see this movie! It’d be like the Krusty Krab training video episode of Spongebob!

And apparently, it was better than the book..

If you listen closely, you can hear the screaming of every Steven Boxleitner fan

Okay sound started to get a little off from the captions at the end here but bear with me.

First of all, have some fabulous concentrating-Dr.-Two-Brains images! Secondly, he’s in WordGirl’s hideout, he should be on high alert, and hearing WordGirl scream “NOW HUGGY!” causes no reaction. He doesn’t even flinch.

It took several tries to get this image, but it was totally worth it!!!

Huggy is validated by The Narrator. I love when The Narrator steps in XD

And Two Brains just glaring at everyone XD

Yet again, Huggy doesn’t approve, yet doesn’t do anything about it and participates in the activity. And boy oh boy would I love to see our disembodied narrator try to play Ping-Pong!

That’s all for this episode! The next one I’m doing is Robot Monkey Showdown! I have no idea when that will be up…but I’m hoping very soon, but I gotta crop all the pictures, (or maybe I won’t? would that be a crime? It would significantly cut down on time...) then type out my comments, then put it all into tumblr.

#wordgirl #dr. two brains #captain huggyface #captain huggy face #showdown at the secret spaceship hideout #episode commentary

76 notes · View notes

fxckinbaker-blog · 5 years

Text

Friendship from my perspective

I go through phases, where I see other groups of females having fun together, being that close they sleep in the same bed after a night out and spooning each other or a work colleague takes time out of her busy schedule to call her bestie and talk her through a panic attack.

... And I feel like I’m missing out, I feel like I should have these female friends, that I can be totally myself around, almost wishing I was out with them on that night out they shared on their Snapchat story.

I don’t have many friends, after realising I wasn’t worth much to some, I blocked and deleted them because they were draining my energy, reading my messages (checking up on them) and then not replying, kept asking them, is everything okay? You wanna meet up soon? Have I done something wrong? (this is just within the last year)

At school I was the reject girl no one liked, I wasn’t pretty, I wasn’t skinny, I wasn’t as confident or outgoing compared to most girls in my school, barely any girls wanted to be my friend until I started my GCSEs and I had 2 friends, who up until recently I’ve just started talking to and meeting up with again.

Out of school I was friends with a girl from another school, who was also bullied, she was my best friend at the time and after she ran away from home she soon became my foster sister and started living with me. We both had crushes, all teenage girls do, I would know who hers was, but I’d never say anything to him. However when she knew who my crush was, she had to have all the attention. One prime example would be that we were at my friends house who I had a crush on, she took his belt off and put it on herself and made my crush and his friend chase after her all around the house, I was sat on the sofa the entire time, not having the best time of course. And this happened multiple times when we were kids. Around 2 years ago we went to the pub where her bf worked, and she was chatting up a bloke from her school “for me” but you could tell she loved the male attention, tying not to make it look like she was enjoying it too much, due to the fella keeping a watchful eye on her. We aren’t friends anymore

I was friends with 3 girls in sixth form, 1 of which used to bully me in primary school, and another got drunk and involved me and her best friend in a car accident, I have a statement to the police and she got a driving ban but her other friend didn’t, to protect her, I guess I may have done the wrong thing in terms of “the girl code” but her excuse was that she was having a hard time because she THOUGHT she may have been pregnant after having sex with a stranger abroad.. (like worrying about being pregnant is the main thing here, she could have gotten a nasty STI!?) and I just felt like, so you put your friends in danger all because you can’t keep your fucking legs closed. We aren’t friends anymore

When I was about 18 I made friends with a 14 year old who was a bit alternative, was mature for her age but certainly showed her real age when she drank alcohol, got giddy etc. We were friends for a long time and I classed her as my best friend at this time in my life, she also had another best friend who she lost touch with a little over the next few years after this, we used to make a thing about getting together every weekend to get drunk and stay at each other’s houses, make each other food, going shopping, all the girly stuff I craved doing with my mates in school, I’d reverted back to a 14 year old. We fell out a couple of times but she left school and got into working at make up counters. when she turned 18 she became a manager at Clinique in Debenhams and she seemed to change, she went from the skater girl I first met, who drank lambrini on the skate park to this blonde, pompous, Prosecco drinking arrogant twat.. her and another girl who hung around with us at the skatepark moved in together, I was asked to go out to Nonnas (a posh bar) after I broke up with someone but that wasn’t the reason she wanted to meet up, as she then said she would have to have a movie night with her dad, then again changed her mind because her dad said they and do it another time.. then asked if someone else could join us for “Prosecco”, during this meet up, I was able to tell my friend what my ex had done for me to dump him, and she sat and told me that I just need to find someone who’s different from me, then carried on a conversation with the other friend she had invited, every time I tried to have an input it was like they were singling me out, every time I went to say something, someone butted in and started talking about something else, I mentioned a trip they went on without me and that was the topic of conversation for the rest of my stay, I got interrupted again by the other friend shouting “let’s get cocktails” knowing they were £7 a cocktail and normally I wouldn’t expect my friends to pay that much for a drink for me, but this time it was like nah fuck it, you can pay, they got martinis in tall pretty glasses and I had an amaretto sour, it only took me till they both turned their backs to me to put their drinks neatly in front of a plant on the other side of the table to take a picture and upload it to Instagram tagging each other in it but not me and then captioned it as “just out with the bestie” no plural, shortly after I said I’m leaving after this drink and this cigarette and I did. There was some discussion about that evening, my friend did say she was sorry and that she didn’t think but then I felt like I was the friend that gets invited out when no one else is available, I’m the last resort, I’m the boring friend that isn’t any fun when I go out with a group of people, that group of friends were just not involving me in anything anymore and again was being ignored on messages. We are not friends anymore

I was friends with a girl who lived in a women’s refuge at the time, who had mental health problems, we became friends because I was making my way to the skatepark after seeing my boyfriend and she was leaving, I asked her why she was leaving and she said because she was being bullied, I said let’s get some weed and take the piss out of them, so we did and we spent nearly every day together after that, but she only stayed with me because I had weed for her to smoke, she kept promising she would get some when she got paid but never did, she got with my next door neighbour and once asked me for some fake tan and I said there will be some somewhere, when I found it I told her where it was and I’d get it for her when I remember, the next day it was gone and I asked her if she had taken it, she said no, however she slipped up by saying the brand of the fake tan, (St Moriz) and staying how it affects her skin, I knew she had lied and had it out with her and she apologised for lieing and stealing, I gave her one last chance, she called me crying saying she had enough of everyone, so I told her to come over to my place, have a night off smoking weed and just chill and have a pamper night, she said she will when she’s done something I asked her what it was and she said she was waiting for someone to come back to Queen’s Park so she can have a smoke with them, so around 2 hours went by and I called her again, she said she was still waiting for this guy, so I told her, do you think you can use me? Do you think you can just use my home like a hotel? And use me for weed? It was clear she was using me due to the fact she was staying where the weed were. We fell out for ages but we became friends again recently (no where near as close)

I was once friends with another girl who had mental health problems, she wanted to move to Sheffield after us being close for a while, she got with someone who was already living there, she saved my life as well, if it wasn’t for her I’d have committed suicide.. seriously.. she split with said guy, moved back to her mums for a bit and then moved back to Sheffield, she told me before she left that she would never forget about me or leave me out because she has an “attachment disorder” and that she is attached to me as a friend. We met up once the first time she moved and I arranged it, and I saw her when she was living with her mum but then when she moved back again, she uploaded a pic to her insta that she wouldn’t normally upload, she isn’t the kind to post pics of body parts let’s just say, so this was weird for me to see, so I asked about it and she basically shunted me and said if you don’t like it fuck off, I was just trying to understand why she felt the need to upload a pic like that, to get male attention essentially. She told me she’s into DDLG (dominant daddy little girl) but she said it wasn’t ever sexual whenever she entered “little space” where she would talk and act like a 4 - 7 year old girl, colouring in colouring books, having a stuffed toy and a dummy in her mouth (she called the dummy her “paci” as in pacifier) I got her to send me a link to a website that explains it in simple terms, I read it and still didn’t understand why she uploaded this picture, she said it was because her insta is like an online scrapbook and she said she thought she looked good in the photo and said she was doing it from a feminist perspective (which I just do not understand) but I respected this anyway and moved on from it even though, in my opinion, she should have more self respect, sorry for being old fashioned but that is just me. Photos aren’t yours once they reach the internet.. Js. After this I kept messaging her, checking in with her, asking if she wanted to meet up and things, I even texted her one day and as a joke I said you aren’t ignoring me are you? And she did in fact ignore me. Eventually after getting sick and tired of being ignored and getting upset about possible reasons why, I decided, this no longer serves me, and blocked and deleted her on all my social media profiles. We are no longer friends

I was friends with another girl with mental health issues, when I first met her she wouldn’t go out drinking, she just invited me over for a sleepover with alcohol and some munchies, which is still amazing, but I just spontaneously asked if she wanted to go out and honestly it was probably one of the best nights both of us had in ages. She started to come out of her shell a bit, we did a lot of things together and got quite close, we had such a laugh when we got drunk together, I probably miss her the most to be honest.. she fell out with me because she thought I was taking her for granted and perhaps I was without realising at the time but no, completely dropped me on my head and said “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, I’ve had enough of being a doormat” not just with me but she had pied everyone off that she though weren’t good enough to be her friend, soon enough she had no friends but I stay in touch with her cousin and I spoke to her and she said she would pass on a message for me (after about 6 months or more) I didn’t get a message straight away but eventually I got a text from this girl, basically saying sorry it’s taken so long to message, that she had been thinking about what to actually message me, I wanted her to know that if she didn’t have anyone, I’m still here, cause I never meant any harm in the first place, she told me she just had enough and ended up fucking everyone off and her bf were the only friend she had left because she admitted she was too hard on some people. She went back into her shell and seemed to like it there, she came out drinking but only till around 10pm on New Year’s Eve 2018 with her bf and that was the last time I saw her, I tried to check on her and ask if she wanted to meet up, I got a rude reply from her bf which she apologised on his behalf for... and then continued to ignore me, the last message I sent was, have I done something wrong?? And I told myself, I’ll wait a week - a week went by and still no reply so I blocked and deleted her as well.

I started working for a company and a college friend helped me get the job, over the course of 2 years I got to know her a lot better, also had mental health problems, only she self harmed... A LOT and then covered the scars with tattoos, she told me why she self harms one day, she used to invite me to the pub but I never had the money or energy after working at a dog grooming salon - we had a new manager and we spoke about what she is and isn’t doing properly, I said one thing is that she isn’t sticking to the bookings, I would book in a specific breed with myself so that I could put it in my portfolio because it’s what I needed to move forward onto the assessment I needed to do, and because my manager had a big dog booked in with her, she would swap the dog I needed with the big dog so I had to groom the big dog and she could groom the cute small one instead. We bitched about our new manager quite a lot. I had been suspended in my first year because the girl that got me the job, reported me to management after I came in one morning while the main shop wasn’t open, the night before I checked my bookings and everything was fine but when I arrived for my shift, I had a labradoodle which required two people to groom her, she was very nervous, and I had it swapped onto my bookings because the girl that got me the job wanted to groom the smaller dog on her own, the nervous dog was pulling her legs away from me but the girl told management that I was pulling at her legs and swearing at her (WHEN SAID GIRL ACTUALLY PUNCHED A FUCKING DOG IN THE LEG WHILE I WAS RESTRAINING IT FOR HER - YOU’RE WELCOME BY THE WAY - THATS HOW A TEAM WORKS, YOU FUCKING HELP) after being suspended I was investigated and disciplined as gross misconduct, not only this but a lot of bitching and a lot of rumours later, (roughly a year later - after I had been signed off work with anxiety and depression) I came back and during my day I had to deal with a customer complaint, I asked both the girl and another colleague to support me by putting my next dog back in a cage while I help a customer make a complaint, no management were around so I had to wait with the customer, I hadn’t realised that when I came into the main salon area that my next dog was still hooked up to what we call a noose, so I put him away and carried on, I got suspended that day as well and later investigated and had a disciplinary hearing for gross misconduct - the girl told me she felt guilty and shouldn’t have gone to management and should have helped me, I was asked if I would like to be taken out of the grooming salon and into the shop, I basically said you can stick your job up your arse, cause I’d had enough of everyone in the grooming salon banding together to purposefully make me anxious and picking on me. Even this girls parents don’t like me, they look at me in disgust and I even saw this girl yesterday, while she walked past she must have seen me and she muttered under her breath “ooohh god” oh I am sorry for my mere existence?? I’m sorry for doing absolutely nothing to you to deserve being stabbed in the back like that. I actually thought we were friends. I was clearly wrong to think that.

So this now brings me to a sort of conclusion, where I say something like, so all you bitches can suck a dick. No, I’ve held onto this for years, and I can’t seem to let go. I don’t understand why I get misunderstood and mistreated by so-called friends, I don’t understand why people think it’s a normal thing to stab your friend in the back when all they’ve done is try to be there for you, cause I’ve been through some shit, but I think this hurts me the most, when I look back at friendships that have broken down either because of my actions or their actions, I just can’t seem to get closure on this and I can’t seem to let it go either.

So all I ask is this, if you think you’ve been mentioned on this or you think you’ve done something really shitty towards me, then please have some fucking balls, PM me and tell me what the fuck I have done wrong to deserve this bullshit? So I can ACTUALLY understand why? And maybe ACTUALLY move on and be able to enjoy my life a little more? Stop being a shitty person all ya fuckin life

1 note · View note

shawnskeds · 7 years

Text

All The Things I Love About You {S.M}

non-requested// imagine where you feel as if you aren’t good enough for someone as great as shawn and he tells you everything he loves about you

author’s note// did you guys know LITERALLY all i fucking care about is taylor swift she is the ONLY woman i will ever love go buy look what you made me do on itunes RIGHT FUCKIN NOW

masterlist

Shawn was perfect. It didn’t take a genius to understand that Shawn was overall the perfect man. He was the best boyfriend any girl could ever dream for, and he was fucking famous for crying out loud. He had countless fanfiction shit and stuff on the internet, and it was all so accurate. All of those dumb ridiculously gross relationship goal stuff all of the twelve year old girls wanted, was exactly what he did. He posted pictures online with you, much to his publicists dismay as she said it may cause a slight uproar in his fanbase if he were to announce he was in a relationship. He didn’t care at all, he posted photos with you, of you, posted mushy captions, all of the stuff teenage girls make edits of and post on tumblr. He took you on dates, but weirdly personal dates. Like he would take you on a picnic to a little hill by your house or that italian restaurant that was tucked away in the western corner of your town that you just loved. He took you on tour, when you could of course, and he always made sure he made time for you whenever he possibly could.

But it was all just… way too good to be true.

You considered yourself to be incredibly average. You didn’t have an extraordinary job, you were an architect. You had a pretty great job at a firm, which was amazing for your age and the fact you were a female but it was nothing compared to your chart topping pop star boyfriend. He was absolutely stunning, one of the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your whole life. His body was perfect, there was seemingly no flaws. Even the scar on his cheek he had gotten using his dad’s razor when he was younger that bothered him so much was the cutest thing ever. He was hot as all hell, girls wrote friggin sex fantasies about him online. You thought it was super weird, yeah sure, but still they existed. He was genuinely perfect in every single way and you were mediocre at best.

You didn’t consider yourself super hot, and you weren’t super tiny, which is apparently what everyone thought Shawn needed. Someone considerably shorter than him, and tiny overall. You weren’t that. You were shorter than him, sure but it was due to the fact that he was more of a tower than a man, but you weren’t super tiny. You didn’t look amazing in a bikini, you don’t wear a size extra small, and overall, you just didn’t think you were what Shawn deserved. He deserved the perfect girl, and you didn’t deserve him.

But, that was just what you thought, not what Shawn thought. When you met Shawn at gross little coffee shop in Texas, he thought you were absolutely radiating. He thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen, with your glowing caramel skin, and long deep ebony hair. He was dumbfounded by your beauty, how your body wasn’t one of a super model but you made it look absolutely lovely. What he loved most was that you had no idea how absolutely gorgeous you were. He hated seeing all of these admittedly stunning women at events and parties, who just know they are one of the most gorgeous human beings in the world. You were even more stunning than all of those girls he had ever seen combined, and you weren’t even aware.

He tells you ever since then he has been absolutely smitten. So in love with you, maybe even disgustingly in love with you. You just didn’t find it realistic. You didn’t find it realistic that this perfect human being saw you as an equally perfect human. You didn’t vocalize it too much, but he knew. He knew you felt insecure. Sure, he wasn’t sure of the extent of the fact, but he knew.

“C’mon honey, please? You haven’t sat in on Q&A in forever.” Shawn whined, trying to pull you off of the couch that you were firmly planted on in Shawn’s dressing room for the venue that night.

“I don’t like them, I feel uncomfortable. I’m not even semi ready. I’m wearing one of your sweatshirts and shorts. I can’t go, and I don’t want to.” You told him for what felt like the eightieth time in the past five minutes.Yet, he continued to try and pull you up. “Shawn, seriously I don’t want to.” You stated as monotone as you could physically could manage. You couldn’t show any weakness in a situation like this, he was the type to call of his Q&A to talk to you and make you feel better. You hated when he did that, you hated when he would put you before that kind of stuff, it made you feel like a controlling bitch, even though every single time he told you that it was his decision, not yours, and he is more than willing to tell anyone who asks that very thing.

“Honey, come on. They love you they always do.” Shawn knew he was lying right through his teeth. They never loved her. At best, they completely ignored her, which is what Shawn considered ‘love’ even though it was just not being a complete asshole.

“They literally never love me, Shawn. Last time a girl told me to hang myself with one of your broken guitar strings.” It was actually incredibly sad that you weren’t exaggerating, she had actually said that. She had used her question to ask if you could do that, which was the fucking saddest thing you’d ever heard.

“It won’t happen this time, I promise.” He let go of your hands, knowing for a fact that you wouldn’t be going with him. He looked at you with sad eyes, pulling his blue button up sleeves up to his elbows, his muscular forearms tensed up a bit and you felt a knot in your stomach.

“Shawn, they’re right.” You groaned, pulling yourself up and somehow dodging him, which was impressive since he was such a tall muscular guy. He scoffed a little, folding his arms as you started to pace around his dressing room, your socks picking up some static electricity as you dragged your feet across the carpet.

“If you’re saying you should hang yourself…” He chuckled, and you quickly whipped your body to face him, a glare on your face.

“No, Shawn. They are all right.” You started, pulling the ends of your hair that was up in a ponytail to your fingers, fiddling around with the ends of it. His arms dropped to his side and his head tilted to the side a little bit, a few of his curls falling into his eyes. He started to look sad, and he knew what you were about to say was going to break his heart. “I’m not good enough for you.” You whispered, looking down at your feet.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Shawn hissed, taking small careful steps towards you until he was only inches away from you.

“Shawn, I’m just not good enough for you. You’re fucking perfect, you’re the perfect man and I’m just…” You tried to think of the correct word to use but it just wasn’t coming to your brain. “me.” You sighed, looking up at him. You could feel his breath on your forehead, he was that close to you, yet you weren’t touching. His arms were shaking just a bit, so you could tell he wanted to pull you close and hold you badly but he was scared. You were glad he didn’t though, you may have started crying.

“Do I need to list every single thing that I love about you?” He simply stated, looking you straight in your eyes. You shook your head quickly, not wanting him to waste anymore time on your insecurity than he already has.

“No Shawn, it’s fine, i’ll get over myself, it’s ju-” He cut you off as he grabbed both of your hands.

“The way you smile, the way you laugh when I say something that isn’t even remotely funny, the way you get so passionate about those fucking blueprints for some class that I can’t even begin to understand, how you get so emotionally invested in those Grey’s Anatomy characters to the point of tears over the fact that Christina and Owen broke up, how you taught yourself piano because you wanted to be able to play while I sing, the way you smell like peaches every single day, how incredibly aware you are of social issues, how you literally went to a black lives matter protest on your birthday because you said that was the real important stuff, how the music on your phone literally only consists of my stuff, Taylor Swift, and Billy Joel-” You laughed a little, cutting him off.

“I also have the whole season one of Glee soundtrack.” You swung you and Shawn’s hands back and forth a little bit. It made your whole body feel warm and happy over the fact that he saw all of these little things about you and thought about how much he loved you. He noticed things more than your body and the way you moaned his name. He noticed all of those little things, those dumb things you had barely even thought about. “Shawn, I love you so much. I seriously do, and you mean everything to but I-” He took one of his hands and placed his pointer finger over your lips.

“But nothing.” He pulled you into a big bear hug, his arms wrapping completely around your body, making you feel like you were in a huge cocoon of love. You wrapped your arms around him, trying to make your hands meet so you can fully hug him back. “It doesn’t matter if I am a pop star or a dumpster diver or if you’re an architect or a screamo lead singer. It doesn’t matter, I love you and you love me. Literally, the only thing that matters. I don’t wanna hear anymore of this ‘not good enough’ shit, got it?” He stated, trying to sound somewhat powerful and dominant. He wasn’t always good at seeming dominant and scary.

“Sh-”

“Got it?” He boomed, squeezing you just a little tired.

“Got it.” You grumbled, “I’m still not going to your Q&A”

author’s note// this was deadass just me going on about how hot shawn is also buy look what you made me do on itunes

544 notes · View notes

babylon-bitch · 7 years

Text

Just Friends ~ First Love (part 45)

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

Throwing my phone across the room and hearing it clatter to the ground. “Fuck,” I mutter and sit on my bed, my head inmmy hands.

“Luke?” The voice of Ashton asks.

“What?” I snap.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks from behind the door

“No.” I say and lean back on my bed.

“Come on Luke, you can’t just bottle this stuff up, as you’ve told her many times. Take your own advice.” He tells me and I roll my eyes.

Standing up I walk towards the door and swing the door open. “There’s nothing to talk about, I fucked up, she’s mad and upset at me for it, and is blaming this all on me, she has a point, and I see that but I just don’t want to believe it. She said she regrets dating me for a year and being friends with me for 18 years. Do you know how much that hurts to hear? Especially coming from her. I loved her, man, I still do. We promised we’d always love each other, I don’t know about her, but I’ve definitely kept my side of the deal up. Even 10-20 years from now, I can still see myself loving her, even if I’ve found a new girl and she is my wife, I have a couple kids, I’ll still love her. I think with ever big milestone in my life, I’ll always expect her to be there, if I’m getting married to a different woman, I’m gonna be convinced she’s gonna be there, either to object or just be there watching. I love her, you know that, but I miss her as a person, always being there. If I can’t have her as my girlfriend, I’d take her as my bestfriend. I want to go through life with my bestfriend if I can’t have her as my girlfriend, having families of our own and living next door to each other. We’ve made all these plans together as best friends before we were even dating, and now I don’t have anyone to do all these things with. I had my whole life planned around her and now that she’s gone, it’s all come tumbling down.” I let it all out. “Fuck it, fuck her, fuck this.”

“You’ll find somone, trust me.” Ashton says.

“I don’t want anyone, I just want her.” I admit. “Maybe I should regret all these years too, even if she was my first love.”

“I think your first love will always manage to stick with you. Whether it’s them or the experiences. Your first, wow. And your firsts are unforgettable. The first time for absoloutly everything. For loving, caring, giving your heart out. Experiencing sadness, grief, and betrayal. It all comes back to that one person who made you see these aspects of life. So no matter where you end up, always know that you should be grateful for the first person you passed when you realised what love truly is. Because it doesn’t matter if it didn’t end well, at least you learnt everything you needed to. In a couple weeks, months, years, whatever the amount of time it takes to get over Harper, those experiences were needed and the person was needed.” Ashton wisely states.

Harper’s P.O.V.

Harshly connecting my charger with my phone and slamming it onto my bedside table, I go get dressed into somthing more suitable to go out in. Just some leggings, an old band t shirt, and slipping on my leather jacket as I walk out the door.

Stepping inside of the elevator and pressing my head against the wall, after I’d pressed the ground floor. This elevator has always smelt weird, a bit of chicken and a milkshake, as well as shoe polish. If somone dropped their dinner in here once, I don’t think it was gonna be very nice anyway.

The elevator doors open and I step out, being met by silence and absoloutly nothing.

Pushing the doors open and I brace myself for the cold wind. “Ah fuck.” I hiss and stuff my hands into my pockets. I don’t have any specific destination, I’m just gonna walk till my mind is clear, which might actually take me all the way back to Australia and back 73 times.

I’m gonna have to face all my friends, knowing they’ve seen me in that way. They’re always on Twitter, so you can bet your ass they will see it. I’ve also got everyone at uni, who will also most likely see them.

There’s not just pictures of those sorts, they’ve got private photos of us. We weren’t too private about our relationship, but we also weren’t too public. Sure, there were always pictures fans or people had taken every fortnight or somthing, and we’d be holding hands, a little affectionate kiss on the cheek or forehead, but we’d rarely post pictures of us being couply and gross.

I remember the first time Luke posted a picture of us after we’d (well Michael) just announced it. It was a picture of us cuddling and the caption was ‘after show vibes’.

“Blake?” I question.

“Harper?” The voice questions back.

Here Blake sits on a bench, opposite his apartment building, on his phone. “What are you doing out this late?” You ask.

“I could ask the same.” He smirks.

“Touchè.” I mumble and take a seat next to him.

“You’re really pretty.” He says and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Are you drunk, Blake?” I question and stand up.

“Maybe.” He giggles and reaches out for me.

“That explains why you are out here.” I mutter. “Come on, let’s go home.” I tell him and grab his arm, but stop when he holds my arm too.

“You have a tattoo? When did you get that?” He asks and brings it closer to his eyes.

“I’ve had it for ages.” I confess and glare at the ink.

“What does it say? I can’t read upside down.” He giggles again.

“Uh, it says Luke.” I tell him, my voice waving a bit.

“He’s your ex-boyfriend, right?” He asks.

“Um, y-yeah.”

“I don’t know him, but he didn’t deserve you. No one deserves that.” He says.

“Let’s just get you to your house.” I ignore his statement. “How drunk are you?”

“I don’t know.” He laughs and stands up. “Not enough so I can’t get up.”

“Evidently.” I roll your eyes.

We manage to cross the road easily, with him holding my hand and giggling almost the whole time. I’m guessing he’s a happy drunk.

“Where even were you?” I ask and I press the button to open the elevator doors.

“I was at some guy’s party, I can’t miss it, I’ve got a reputation to keep up.” He explains as we walk into the elevator, pressing his floor.

“Blake, this isn’t high school anymore.” I point out as we both lean on opposite walls.

“But partying is fun! You’re such an old lady.” He teases.

“Yeah, partying can be fun, but not every single fucking week. Don’t you get tired of seeing the same people, seeing the same people getting shit faced, probably waking up in some chicks room?”

“Ohhh, sassy, Harper, is here.” He laughs. “I don’t fucking know, I just want some cheese.” He whines.

“You don’t like cheese.” I point out.

“I do when it’s melted.” He says as if it’s the most obvious thing.

“So you want a bowl of melted cheese?” I ask.

“Ewww, no, I hate cheese.” He whines.

“I will hit you.” I threaten when the elevator doors open.

“Oh my God, how about melted cheese on pizza!” He excitedly exclaims.

“Melted cheese is on pizza, Blake.” I tell him.

“Can we get pizza?” He begs when we reach his door.

“You can get a pizza, Blake, but I won’t be joining you.” I inform him.

“But who else is gonna eat and watch cartoons with me, and has a pretty face?” He questions.

“What if I was ugly?” I ask.

“Well nothing about you could be ugly, I mean look at you.” He says.

“That doesn’t really answer my question, but okay. Where is your key? And I’m not reaching into your pockets.”

“You’re always welcome in my pants.” He winks and I glare at him.

“Come on.” I rush him.

“I would try and come but you haven’t even done anything yet.” He smirks.

“I will not hesitate to to turn around.” I warn him.

“Fine, geez, not a fan of sexual activities, I get it.” He puts his hands up in surrender and pulls out his key from his pocket. “Are you a virgin?” He questions as he opens his door.

“Blake!” I hit his chest, causing him to laugh.

“Well, are you?” He repeats.

“Uh, no, if you have to know.” I sigh.

“Ohhh, scandalous. When did you lose it?”

“When I was 17. You probably lost it when you were 7.” I laugh.

“No, 16. Was it good?” He asks.

“Why am I having a conversation about sex with you?” I ask in a groan.

“Because I’m a sex God.” He claims.

“And an ego the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass.” I say.

“When was the last time you had sex?” He asks.

“I didn’t sign up for a quiz about my sex life.” I sigh and we sit down on the sofa.

“When was the last time then?” He ignores me.

“Uh, Christmas time.” I shrug.

“That’s less than three weeks ago, damn.” He laughs.

“Let me guess how many people your fucked since then. So, 15, and you’ve probably fathered at least two of them, haven’t called any of them back, and already have another 15 lined up, pun not intended.” I tell him.

“I’ve been with about 3 or 4 people, no one has really come back. Every on has come back today, hence why there was a party. There are a few girls that don’t wanna get with them.” He corrects.

“Yeah, they’re smart girls. Who are they?” I ask.

“Juliet, Izzy, Tori, and you.” He answers.

“Well, sorry to crush your dreams, babe, but it’s gonna stay like that, at least with me.” I inform.

“The offer is always there.” He smirks.

“Gee, thanks, you’re so generous.” I reply.

“Or, I could always, hook you up with somone and then they could tell me what you’re like in bed.” He says.

“I’m so over this conversation.” I laugh.

“I’ve missed you.” He giggles and lays his head on my lap.

“You saw me last week.” I point out.

“Well it’s not yesterday.” He moans.

“I don’t think I could handle being with you everyday.” I tell him and run my hand through his quiff.

Luke’s P.O.V.

“Do I make this professional or ‘casual’?” I ask.

“Meaning?” Calum ask.

“Like, do I put, ‘I regret to inform you, but I fucked up my relationship with my girlfriend, now ex girlfriend, sincerely yours, Harper’s dick of an ex boyfriend’ or ‘Harper and I have broken up, sorry to burst your bubble, - Luke’ somthing along the lines of that. Which one?”

I’ve currently got my phone in my hands, constantly typing then deleting what I’ve written in my notes. I’m trying to figure out how to tell the fans that Harper and I are no longer together.

“I think casually.” Erika says.

“I agree, but not like really casual, add a little sophistication.” Ashton adds.

“Casual it is.” I purse my lips. “Can you check it after I’m finished?”

“Yeah, of course.” Michael smiles.

They start to talk about some kind of tv show, but my mind drifts elsewhere.

I’m sad to announce, that Harper and I aren’t together at this moment in time. We’d appreciate it if you gave us some privacy for a while, we will be back soon enough, but we both need some time to step away from the internet and stuff. You’ve also probably seen some pictures of us, we’d appreciate if you didn’t make a big deal about it. Maybe we were meant to be, maybe we weren’t, but it’s just another chapter in our life, it might be painful to tell, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. Love you guys, sorry to bring this awful news to you, but everything happens for a reason. Be back soon

- Luke xxx

“Um, d-done.” I say and pass my phone to Maddie.

“Yeah, I think that’s alright.” She nods after a while and passes my phone to Erika.

“Yeah, that’s absoloutly fine.” Erika smiles, passes my phone to Calum.

“Good job,” he tells me and gives Michael my phone.

“Well said.” Michael agrees, throwing Ashton the phone.

“Cool, are you just posting it to Twitter?” Ashton asks and returns my phone.

“Probably.” I say and screenshot it, before going to the Twitter app. I add a little heart as the caption and hover over the tweet button but I just can’t find myself doing it. “Should I send this to Harper first?”

“If you really want to, I don’t really see the point in it. She asked you to tell everyone, so here you are.” Calum says.

“Fuck, I can’t do it, somebody do it for me.” I sigh.

“I’ll do it.” Ashton volunteers and I pass him my phone. “Done.”

“Oh my God.” I mutter.

Harper’s P.O.V.

“Okay, bye Blake, I’ll see you later or somthing.” I say as I walk out the door.

“Bye, thanks for the food, you absolute godess.” He calls, making me laugh.

“Any time. Actually don’t take that seriously, or I will be here all he time.” I tell him and I close the door behind me

I make my way all the way down to the ground floor and and into the really fresh air. It’s still dark and dead out here, an occasional car going by every now and then.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket and scrolling through Twitter, I’ve got nothing better to do, other than stare at nothing, thinking about how it all went wrong.

Suddenly I freeze as I notice a tweet from Luke; the guy who broke my heart. He’s told the fans about our break up, I didn’t expect him to do it right away, I thought it would at least be in a few days or a week or so, not now. I didn’t prepare myself for it, I didn’t get a warning, nothing.

I re-read the tweet over and over, by the 15th time I’ve read it, I’ve got a fucking waterfall in my eyes.

***

It’s the next day now, well, I say next day, I mean it’s the morning and I’m in broad daylight.

I’m in my bedroom messing around with my acoustic guitar. I’m kinda writing a song, but also just jamming out. Placing a pen in my mouth, both ends of the pen coming out of my mouth, as I just finished a whole verse and try and come up with a way for the music to go well the lyrics.

After a couple hours, I finish the song, which I will say myself, I’m very proud of it. It really portrays how I feel right now, I couldn’t possibly say I’m happy, it would probably be the biggest lie I’d ever told.

Deciding to play it through for the second time, I place my fingers on the frets, before taking a big inhale.

“Well I’m so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground, Just enough to get my feet wet but not enough to let me drown. I’ve been laying in my bed wishing I had never woken, Begging god to rid my head of every word you’ve ever spoken. Broke my knuckles on the wall because I thought about the call Where you said you’d always love me, do you not tell the truth at all? Well if I ever cross your mind, make sure you write down the times So I will know the moments I was eating you alive.

Now I lay here waiting with the hope that I might find some sleep I need some sleep tonight, Cause I’ve been waiting on your call but I know it will never come but I’m still waiting by the phone.

And don’t you dare, don’t you dare, Say you ever loved me or even tell me that you cared Cause you knew what you were doing and you know just what you’ve done How dare you say you miss me with your spit still on her tongue. I am broken. I am beaten. I’m mistreated and I’m torn. I am cold with no direction but I’m lost without your warmth. I’m trying hard to find some hope that I might get the chance to breathe. Get off my mind, give back my heart and get the fuck away from me!

I know I couldn’t give you much, but I know I gave my best, I was always your princess, and now you’re sliding up her dress And I know I gave the world everything I’ve ever had, Johnny Cash said love would burn, I never thought it’d hurt this bad.

Well I’m so tired of the rain falling softly on the ground, Just enough to get my feet wet but not enough to let me drown. I’ve been laying in my bed wishing I had never woken, Begging god to rid my head of every word you’ve ever spoken. Broke my knuckles on the wall because I thought about the call Where you said you’d always love me, do you not tell the truth at all? Well if I ever cross your mind make sure you write down the times, So I will know the moments I was eating you alive.

You are the itch that’s on my back. You are the gum under my shoe. You are the horrors of my past. You are the chill that haunts the room. You are the creaking on my steps. You are cancer. You are plague. You are regret. You are disease. I wish that you would go away.”

I play the last the last sting and take my fingers off the frets, which now have little line indents on the tips.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could sing, let alone play guitar.” A voice makes me jump.

Whipping my head round, surprised my head didn’t fly off to France. Standing by my bedroom door is Tori, Izzy, Blake, Juliet, and three other people that are friends of Blake.

“Oh, uh, hey guys.” I awkwardly wave, before I hang the guitar on the stand.

“Is that an original?” Juliet asks.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“How long have you been writing?” Tori asks.

“Probably since I was 13, 14. When did you get home?” I ask, trying to change the subject

“Around 9 this morning.” She shrugs.

“You, Izzy?”

“Last night, I can’t quite remember I just face planted my bed, didn’t even get changed.” She laughs.

“So uhm, Harper, these pictures, you are looking hella fine.” James smirks. James is one of Blake’s friends, I’ve met quite a few times at parties or over at Blake’s house.

“What?” Blake questions.

“Have you not seen them? They’re trending on Twitter.” James says and passes Blake his phone.

“Holy shit, Harper. Did you post these?” He questions and passes James’ phone to Tyler, who is also here.

“Of course not, my um, ex boyfriend’s phone got hacked into and some pictures leaked.” I glare at the boys.

“Ex?” Tori questions.

“It’s bound to be trending too.” I snap slightly.

“The pros of having a famous friend.” Alex laughs, another one of Blake’s friends, I’ve only seen him at parties and I think I have a lecture with him.

“I’m not famous!” I exclaim.

“The verification mark says differently.” Tyler smirks.

“Babe, I’m so sorry.” Izzy says and pulls me into a hug.

“It’s fine, I’ll get over him.” I sigh.

It’s not fine and I won’t get over him, ever.

9 notes · View notes

conorpmaynard · 7 years

Text

All Started With a Song Part 10 // Conor Maynard

Word Count- 2221

Summary- Conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) here it is! this is way longer than i thought it would be and i didn't get to half the stuff i thought i would. so i re-planned everything. there will most likely be 13 parts now! i hope you enjoy.

p.s. nothing crazy happens, this is mainly a filler chap. sorry if you were expecting drama!

You guys headed to bed rather early that night. With all that happened and your plans for tomorrow, you guys needed the beauty sleep.

At 6 o’clock on Sunday morning, you three left the hotel and started your adventure. Alice had looked up a really nice café for you guys to have breakfast at. She got some pancakes, Olivia got an omelet and you settled for a bagel.

“So where are we headed to first?” you asked before taking a sip of your tea.

“I really really really want to go to the walk of fame.” Olivia pleaded. “Can we please go there?”

“Of course Liv!” you smiled. “We’ll head there right after we’re finished eating.”

She squealed and clapped her hands, causing Alice to snort.

“You are too awake,” she mumbles, taking a forkful of pancake.

“Hey, don’t judge me. I’m just excited,” Olivia frowned.

“Oh, you know I love you,” Alice laid her head on Olivia’s shoulder. You quickly opened the camera app and snapped a pic.

You posted it on your Instagram with that caption:

i have the cutest friends ever… btw expect lots of pic today and tomorrow #sorrynotsorry

“Awwww, Al look at what Y/n posted. She’s so cute!” Olivia gave Alice her phone.

“She’s so sweet, let’s post one of her.”

You laughed, “No, please don’t.”

“Aw c’mon. You’re adorable babe.”

“Fine, but I get to approve the picture and caption,” you emphasized the and.

“Deal! Make a pose!”

You rested your elbows on the table and your chin on your hands, flashing the camera a small smile.

After a few moments of intense typing Alice handed you her phone, “Is that okay?”

Cannot thank @y/i/n enough for this trip. Love you lots babe xx

“You’re so sweet Al,” you handed her phone back to her.

“Alright, here’s the bill. Are you ladies all finished up here?” the waiter asked as he handed you the receipt.

“Yep!” Olivia smiled.

“Do you think I could get a to-go cup for my tea?” you asked.

“Of course,” he turned to walk away when he stopped. “I’m sorry to bother you. But are you guys from the UK?”

You three started laughing, “Yes, we are,” Alice answered.

“Oh my gosh, really? Would you mind if I ask you a few questions?” he instantly took a seat next to you.

“Of course not, whatcha wanna know?” you smiled.

“Is it always rainy?”

This caused you three to erupt in laughter yet again, but stopped when he frowned.

“Oh love, we’re not making fun of you. It’s just cute,” Liv placed a hand on his and smiled.

“But to answer your question, no. Sometimes it’s really nice out. But most of the time yes, it’s rainy.”

“It’s not even always rainy, just really cold.” You added.

“I’ve always wanted to go to London,” he sighed. “Is it worth taking a trip to?”

“I can’t answer that without bias, but I think coming here was definitely worth the trip. If that helps.”

He stood up, “Well my name’s Clayton.” He pulled out a piece of paper and began scribbling. “If you girls need anything, here’s my number. I’m free whenever after noon.”

“Well thank you Clayton. That means a lot,” you smiled.

After that cute little meet up you girls grabbed an Uber and went to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was so much fun. You girls had races to see who could find this person first or who could find a ‘James’ or ‘Amy’ first. You may have looked crazy to others but you three knew it was all in good fun.

You were only here once, why wouldn’t you make the most of it?

After the Walk of Fame you three headed to any and every shop that the London didn’t have; which was a lot. You hit lots of clothes shops, make up shops, and so so many candy shops.

You picked up something for Alex and a few gifts for your mom. Alice got something for Brandon, but insisted it was for her friend that ‘you don’t know that well’. And Olivia, of course, got something for Sean.

After what felt like a lifetime you guys finally found an In-N-Out. You all had been craving it ever since Sabrina took you guys to it your first day in LA.

While you three munched on your burgers, you just chatted about anything and everything.

“What time is it?” Alice asked.

“Just past 11,” you clicked your phone shut. “So what’s next?”

“Honestly? I want to go back to the hotel and take a power nap,” Alice sighed, Olivia vigorously shaking her head in agreement.

“Okay, I’m down for a nap. Then the beach?”

They both smiled signally they were okay with that.

“Wake me up at two,” Olivia sighed, falling onto her bed. You laughed and watched as Alice copied her movements.

You walked out to the balcony and sat up against the wall. You were tired, but you didn’t want to sleep. You didn’t want to miss anything LA had to offer.

You knew you shouldn’t have, but you texted Anth. It was a low blow honestly. But you were bored and didn’t have any clue as to what to do. You opened SnapChat and clicked his name.

You sent a simple selfie with a caption:

any fun activates you know of in LA?

You scrolled through Instagram while waiting for a response. You noticed Conor posted a new picture.

You knew it would hurt, but you couldn’t not look.

It was of him sitting of the edge of a bench, it was nighttime. He was facing away from the camera.

He captioned it:

C’mon LA, you have yet to let me down. Please don’t change that.

There were hundreds of comments that ranged from ‘ARMS’ to ‘why are you sad :(’ to ‘i hate when he doesn’t tell us what’s going on’.

You were hesitant, but ended up liking the picture anyways.

SnapChat from anth.melo

He sent a picture of him in front of a mirror of what seemed like a gym. You could see Conor on the side, but it was only an arm. You cringed at the fact that you knew it was Conor simply by an arm.

His snap read:

sorry y/n, kinda busy rn.

You sent another selfie with a frown:

okay, but we NEED to hang out soon. i leave in two days :(

You closed your phone and went back inside. After sliding off your shoes and plugging in your phone, you slid into your shared bed with Alice.

A few minutes of shot eye wouldn’t hurt.

“Y/n!!!!” you heard someone shout.

You shot up from the pillow, “What?!” you shouted back, not having opened your eyes yet.

“Its 4:30!” a voice, you recognized as Alice sighed. “You had one job. One bloody job!”

“Oh, sorry. I fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm.”

“It’s okay, we can still go to the beach!” Olivia piped up from her spot in front of the mirror.

“I guess,” Alice sighed.

“Haven’t you always wanted to see a sunset on the beach?” you asked, getting out of the bed.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Let me check when sunset is.”

You bent down and grabbed your shoes.

“It’s at 6:04, should we invite anyone?” Alice asked.

“Like who?”

“Clayton!” Olivia jumped up. “Please invite him!”

You smiled, “Okay, I’ll invite him. But i can’t promise anything.”

You sent him a text that read:

Heading down to the beach to watch the sunset. Care to join us?

You sat your phone down and began braiding your hair.

“Did he text back?” Alice asked.

“Check my phone, I’m kind of busy.”

She stood up and walked over to where your phone was sat on the bed.

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing, but Anth texted snapped you.”

“You can open it up if you want,” you said, closing your eyes to focus on the pattern.

After a few seconds you heard a gasp, “What’s wrong?”

“Look! “Alice shoved your phone into your face. On the screen was a selfie of him and Conor and it read:

Okay, we’re free tomorrow

He was smiling and Conor was sporting his signature ‘kissy face/pout face’ look.

You stared until it disappeared, then you let out a sigh.

“What’d he mean by that?”

“I asked him if he wanted to hang out,” you said, sticking out your tongue as Alice snapped a picture.

“Oh, well.” She smiled, helping you up. “Looks like we got plans for tomorrow!”

You three changed into your swimsuits and packed a bag. You were going to go to the beach no matter what, Clayton being there was just a plus.

Your phone dinged and the girls sat, eyes wide; waiting for a response.

Of course! Meet me here in 10 minutes.

The link sent you to your Map app. There was a blue line from the hotel to a beach about 5 minutes away. Due to it being so close, you three decided to walk. As you left the hotel you sent him a quick text back.

see ya soon xx

As usual Anth and Conor stayed up late doing whatever they do. Most of it was just joking around. But part of it, a very small part, was very deep.

“Mate, I gotta ask,” Anth sighed.

“I can’t answer it. I know what you’re going to ask. And I honestly don’t know. I was jealous and upset. I just-” he sighed, looking at Anth. “I messed up.”

“Well do you like her?” Anth asked hesitantly.

“Of course I do! I liked her before I met her. But I overthought everything. I assumed she didn’t like me, so I wanted to make her feel how I felt.”

“Do you want to be with her?” Anth questioned again.

“That’s the thing. Like, I don’t know her. But I want to. And I want to see what it could become, but I don’t want to give us a chance and it be awful and I have to break her heart again.”

Anth remained silent as Conor poured his feelings.

“I’m just so angry. At myself. But also her. And I know I have no right to be mad at her. But she’s just so perfect. And I want to hate her and just forget about her. But I can’t, because whenever I see a girl, I notice that she isn’t Y/n. But I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me. And I just want to punch myself, every time I remember what I did.”

Conor knew there was more to how he felt, he just wasn’t ready to admit it.

Anth stood up and put his hand on Conors shoulder, “Well, how about you sleep on it. And tomorrow we go to the gym; work out all the anger. Then afterwards, you can talk to Y/n.”

Conor and Anth didn’t make it to the gym until a little before noon. Conor woke up to Jack spamming him. Jack lost the keys to his apartment so he begged Conor to tell him where his extra set was.

Conor really didn’t want Jack to be at his flat alone. Who knew what the kid would get up to? But after a few minutes of Jack begging (and almost crying, almost. it doesn’t count if the tear didn’t fall) Conor told him to message Alex.

After that, they were about to leave but then Anth realized he forgot that he planned to Skype his grandparents. Knowing he couldn’t let his friend not call them, Conor sat in the guest room while Anth chatted with his grandma and grandpa about various things.

After Anth’s grandma finally said goodbye, they headed to the gym. On their way they stopped to get juices.

“Mate, the Strawberry Mango is way better than the Green Machine,” Conor dragged on as he walked aside Anth.

“Stop playing dude, the Green Machine is the best!”

“You’re mad, y’know that right?”

“Nah man, you’re just stubborn.”

When they arrived at the gym, they both popped in their headphones and got to work on their preferred workout equipment.

Within the first thirty minutes, Anth could tell Conor was more upset than last night. He was lifting way more than his body could handle, but every time Anth would bring it up Conor would brush him off.

“Mate, your calves don’t need that much weight,” Anth chuckled, pulling out a headphone.

“Why come to the gym if you’re not going to push yourself?” Conor asked, standing up.

“If you say so,” Anth said, grabbing his phone to change the song. He scrolled through his notifications. He went to close it, but then he noticed your name. Why were you snapping him?

He walked over to Conor, opening the snap.

“Hey, look at this.”

Conor looked at the screen then turned around.

“So do you want to?” Anth followed him

“Not really,” he muttered.

“Okay,” was all Anth said. He sent a picture of him in front of the mirror.

A few seconds later Conor said, “I don’t know what to say yet. But tell her we’re free tomorrow.”

Anth just smiled. Conor was head over heels for you and him trying to hide it was so cute.

#jack maynard #Conor Maynard #conor maynard imagine #Oli White #caspar lee #josh pieters #Joe Sugg #mikey pearce #imagine #imagines #buttercream squad #buttercream #buttercream imagines #youtube #youtube imagines

91 notes · View notes

jessicakehoe · 4 years

Text

These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness

Many campaigns have worked to normalize the discussion around mental health (Bell Let’s Talk and CAMH’s One Brave Night among them). But one thing that really reaches the masses is when a celebrity speaks out about his or her struggle to spread the message that it’s okay to have a mental illness; it doesn’t make you weak.

Anyone who has ever suffered from depression or anxiety—whether temporary or chronic—knows the feeling of wanting to crawl into bed and stay there until things seem okay again. And somehow when these celebrities who seem to have it all come out and say that they actually don’t have their shit together, it is encouraging to us. By focusing on their health, it normalizes the conversation and gives us the courage to take care of ourselves (and be vocal about it).

Below, see the celebrities who are helping to fight the stigma against mental health by being open about their own struggles. Want to learn more about mental illness? Here are 5 myths about anxiety and depression, and information about different types of treatment.

Post Malone

In an interview with GQ Style, the Grammy nominee opened up about dealing with an unshakeable sadness from a very young age. “Middle school, I would cry myself to sleep every f**kin’ day,” he reveals. “High school, the same thing. I tried to drink some beers to get rid of that shit but it just never goes away. And I don’t think that’s anybody’s fault; it has to do with something predisposed in you.” Music has become his way of coping with these struggles, and of processing what he’s going through. “I’m trying,” he says. “It’s difficult. Through my songs, I can talk about whatever I want. But sitting here, face to face, it’s difficult.”

View this post on Instagram

"Through my songs, I can talk about whatever I want. But sitting here, face-to-face, it's difficult.”–@PostMalone Photographs by @jason_nocito_studio. Styled by @mobolajidawodu. #gqstyle #postmalone

A post shared by GQ Style (@gqstyle) on Mar 2, 2020 at 8:16am PST

Prince Harry

View this post on Instagram

Day two of #SussexRoyalTour is underway, and The Duke and Duchess have joined young South Africans and @WavesForChange to focus on mental health and take part in ‘surf therapy’. • Hundreds of young people from Cape Town’s townships meet every week at Monwabisi beach to surf, but also share stories with mentors and talk through the daily challenges they face. Their Royal Highnesses were able to hear how the sessions are building trust, confidence, and belonging, and they also got to join in as children took part in ‘power hand’, which teaches them how to keep calm down reflect on strengths. While on the beach The Duke and Duchess met @TheLunchBoxFund – which was one of the charities they nominated to benefit from donations following the birth of their son, Archie. Almost 30,000 meals are provided by the charity every day across South Africa, including for three @WavesForChange projects. And before they left The Duke and Duchess joined the Commonwealth Litter Programme (CLiP) – which was teaching the surfers about the impact of plastic waste on the ocean. #RoyalVisitSouthAfrica • Photo ©️ photos EMPICS / PA images / SussexRoyal

A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal) on Sep 24, 2019 at 5:00am PDT

The Duke of Sussex has spoken out extensively about his own mental health journey, and the trauma he suffered as a result of losing his mother, Princess Diana, at a young age. In an interview with Bryony Gordon for her podcast about mental health, Mad World, the royal said, “I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well.”

“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle,” he added.

After seeking out counselling and learning to open up about his struggles with friends and family, the royal co-founded Heads Together, a mental health awareness campaign, with Prince William and Kate Middleton in 2016. While on a recent trip to South Africa with Meghan Markle, the royal couple met with Waves For Change, an organization promoting mental wellbeing through surf therapy, and spoke out about the need to counter the stigma against mental illness in our society.

“I think most of the stigma is around mental illness [and] we need to separate the two… mental health, which is every single one of us, and mental illness, which could be every single one of us,” he said. “I think they need to be separated; the mental health element touches on so much of what we’re exposed to, these experiences that these kids and every single one of us have been through. Everyone has experienced trauma or likely to experience trauma at some point during their lives. We need to try, not [to] eradicate it, but to learn from previous generations so there’s not a perpetual cycle.”

Ariana Grande

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Mar 30, 2019 at 9:57am PDT

In British Vogue’s July 2018 issue, Ariana Grande opened up on her experience with PTSD after the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing. “It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe tremendous loss. But, yeah, it’s a real thing,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever know how to talk about it and not cry.”

In November 2018, the singer/songwriter dropped a single titled “thank u, next,” dedicated to all of her exes, including the late-Mac Miller (who died this past September of a drug overdose) and ex-fiancé Pete Davidson, which resulted in fans wondering who her therapist is. “Therapy has saved my life so many times,” Grande tweeted in response. “If you’re afraid to ask for help, don’t be.”

photography via instagram/@arianagrande

In an Instagram story posted on April 11, Grande shared a side-by-side image of a healthy brain and a brain affected by PTSD. She also included an image of what is allegedly her brain, which appears to show incredibly high levels of PTSD. “Not a joke,” she captioned the story. In a follow-up story, Grande posted a selfie containing the captions “life is wild,” “she’s trying her muthafukin best,” and “my brain is tired.”

Selena Gomez

View this post on Instagram

I have a lot to be thankful for this year.. My year has been the hardest yet most rewarding one yet. I've finally fought the fight of not 'being enough'. I have only wanted to reflect the love you guys have given me for years and show how important it is to take care of YOU. By grace through faith. Kindness always wins. I love you guys. God bless

A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Nov 24, 2016 at 6:21pm PST

In August 2016, Selena Gomez announced that she would be taking a break from her career to deal with anxiety, depression and panic attacks associated with lupus (an autoimmune condition from which she suffers). She made a return to the spotlight in November that year at the American Music Awards, where she delivered an emotional, heartfelt speech, briefly touching on her battle with mental health issues.

“I had to stop because I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside. I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down but I kept it too much together to where I let myself down,” she said. “If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken.”

The songstress also opened up about her issues with mental health in the April 2017 issue of Vogue (which she covered). “Tours are a really lonely place for me,” she told the magazine. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion.”

She revealed she spent 90 days in a mental health facility in Tennessee, surrendering her cell phone and taking part in various forms of therapy. And while Gomez is the second most-followed person on Instagram, she told Vogue she no longer had it on her phone, and an assistant had her password.

“It felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about,” she said. “I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”

Camila Cabello

Former Fifth Harmony member Camila Cabello made headlines in September 2016 after she left the stage early during a performance under the guise of a wardrobe malfunction. She later revealed, on Snapchat, that the cause was excessive anxiety, even tweeting, “just wanna sleep for 3 days.”

Cabello had already been open about her struggles with anxiety prior to the incident, however, telling Billboard that 2015 was a “low” for her, personally.

“I was having terrible anxiety, nonstop. My heart would beat really fast the whole day. Two hours after I woke up, I’d need a nap because my body was so hyperactive,” she recalled. “I was scared of what would happen to me, of the things my brain might tell me. I realized the stuff I thought was important isn’t worth my health. Now I write in a diary every day, work out and meditate.”

In March 2017, the Cuban-born star revealed to Latina magazine that she also deals with obsessive compulsive disorder. “It was just totally out of control,” Cabello told the magazine of her OCD. “I would wake up with a super-accelerated heartbeat and really negative, intrusive, compulsive thoughts. I was so inside my head, and I didn’t know what was happening.”

She continued, “I totally understand now, being in it, why there shouldn’t be such a stigma on mental illness, because it’s a pretty common thing for people. But you can get help. If you’re dedicated to making it better, you can—because I’m in a much better place now. I started reading books about it and it really helped a lot when I understood [the illness], and that [the thoughts I was having] weren’t real. Sometimes you have to remind yourself to slow down and take care of yourself.”

Zayn Malik

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Zayn Malik (@zayn) on Aug 14, 2018 at 10:01pm PDT

In June 2016, former One Direction member Zayn Malik cancelled a U.K. concert due to anxiety. He made the announcement on Instagram, writing, “Unfortunately, my anxiety that has haunted me throughout the last few months has gotten the better of me. With the magnitude of the live event, I have suffered the worst anxiety of my career.”

Later that year, Malik revealed in his memoir, Pillow Talk, that panic attacks have stopped him from performing on more than one occasion. “I just couldn’t go through with it,” he wrote. “Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out.”

And while a member of his team offered to say he was sick, Malik insisted on being open about his struggle. “I was done with putting out statements that masked what was really going on. I wanted to tell the truth. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it affects millions of people every day,” he explained. “I don’t want to say I’m sick. I want to tell people what’s going on, and I’m not gonna be ashamed of what’s happening.”

Cara Delevingne

In 2016, Cara Delevingne took to Twitter to reveal she took a break from modelling due to depression. “I suffer from depression and was a model during a particularly rough patch of self hatred,” she explained. Later that year, she told Esquire she had been struggling with mental illness since she was a teen, more specifically, after she discovered her mother’s drug addiction.

“I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die,” she told the magazine, adding a six-month break from school and medication might have helped save her life at 16.

However, Cara stopped the meds at age 18, saying “I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather then be dependant on meds, ever.”

Adele

View this post on Instagram

Auckland / Mt Smart Stadium / Mar 25

A post shared by Adele (@adele) on Mar 25, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT

Despite being a 15-time Grammy winner, Adele still experiences stage fright. In March 2017, she admitted to her New Zealand concertgoers that she may never tour again, due to the ongoing issue. “Touring isn’t something I’m good at–applause makes me feel a bit vulnerable. I don’t know if I will ever tour again,” she told the audience. “I get so nervous with live performances that I’m too frightened to try anything new. It’s actually getting worse. Or it’s just not getting better, so I feel like it’s getting worse, because it should’ve gotten better by now.”

Lady Gaga

View this post on Instagram

I felt like a princess in custom @tiffanyandco made just for me for the #GoldenGlobes 🤗 The Aurora necklace was named after the Aurora Borealis as an homage to #AStarIsBorn 🌟 #TiffanyAndCo

A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Jan 8, 2019 at 10:29am PST

In 2016, Lady Gaga revealed she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after she was raped at age 19. “I suffer from PTSD, I’ve never told anyone that before,” she said on the Today show in December 2016. “But the kindness that’s been shown to me, by doctors as well as family and friends, has really saved my life.”

More recently, Gaga opened up about her mental health struggles in a conversation with Prince William, as part of the royal’s Heads Together #oktosay series, which aims to end the stigma with the help of celebrities.

“For me, waking up every day and feeling sad and going on stage is something that is very hard to describe. There’s a lot of shame attached to mental illness. You feel like something’s wrong with you,” she told the Duke of Cambridge via FaceTime. “In my life, I go, ‘Oh my goodness, look at all these beautiful, wonderful things that I have. I should be so happy,’ but you can’t help it if, in the morning when you wake up, you are so tired, you are so sad, you are so full of anxiety and the shakes that you can barely think.”

But despite her hardships, the A Star is Born actress told William “the best thing that could come out of my mental illness was to share it with other people.”

“I feel like we are not hiding anymore, we’re starting to talk, and that’s what we need to do really,” she said.

Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato is one of the most vocal mental health awareness advocates in the biz. The former Disney star, who has battled drug and alcohol addictions, bipolar disorder, self-harm and an eating disorder for years underwent rehab in 2010 and in 2013. Now, Lovato is much healthier and is committed to ending the stigma against mental illness. In 2015, she launched the Be Vocal campaign as a way to encourage individuals struggling with mental illness to talk about what they’re going through.

“I think the more people vocalize what they’re going through—their experience or just simply educating themselves so that they can learn more about what they’re talking about—that’s going to be the key to creating a conversation about mental illness and making it more understood,” she told HuffPost. “There’s a lack of compassion for people who have mental illnesses and there’s a lot of judgment. Once you make people realize that mental illness can happen to anybody—and it’s not anybody’s fault—then I think they’ll become more understanding of what mental illness really is.”

Jennifer Lawrence

Photography by Steve Granitz/WireImage

Jennifer Lawrence opened up about her struggle with anxiety in 2013, telling Madame Figaro that she began experiencing symptoms as a preteen. “When my mother told me about my childhood, she always told me that there was like a light in me, a spark that inspired me constantly,” Lawrence told the magazine. “When I started school, the light went out. It was never known what it was, a kind of social anxiety.”

She eventually went to seek help from a therapist and turned to acting as a form of self-therapy. She also revealed to the New York Times that she manages her anxiety with the use of prescription meds.

Emma Stone

Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage

Oscar winner Emma Stone told Rolling Stone in 2016 that she experienced bouts of anxiety and panic attacks as a child. “My anxiety was constant,” she said. “I would ask my mom a hundred times how the day was gonna lay out. What time was she gonna drop me off? Where was she gonna be? What would happen at lunch? Feeling nauseous. At a certain point, I couldn’t go to friends’ houses anymore–I could barely get out the door to school.”

She did reveal, however, that therapy and acting, specifically improv and sketch comedy, is what helped her work through it. “You have to be present in improv, and that’s the antithesis of anxiety,” she explained.

Chrissy Teigen

View this post on Instagram

My stoop buddy

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 29, 2017 at 6:47pm PDT

Chrissy Teigen is never one to hold back, but she shocked fans when she penned an essay for Glamour in 2017 on her struggle with postpartum depression. “I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom,'” she wrote, later adding “postpartum does not discriminate.”

Months later, Teigen finally saw her family doctor, where she got her diagnosis. She began taking antidepressants. “I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that—for me—just merely being open about it helps.”

Troian Bellisario

In November 2016, Pretty Little Liars star Troian Bellisario revealed via a voting PSA that she struggled with an eating disorder when she was younger. She said it was early detection and mental healthcare that saved her. “If I had just been shunned to the side as not having ‘real problems’, I don’t know that I would be living today,” she explained. “I just want to make sure that everybody has the same opportunity for treatment that I have, and I think that we have to make sure that our government invests in those programs.”

Troian shared her story on her struggles with anorexia in her film Feed, which she wrote and directed. “It was not easy; it was like engaging with an addiction,” she told Interview magazine of revisiting her story, adding that working on the film was “like poking a sleeping dragon.” “One of the things I really wanted the film to explore was that once you have this relationship, once you have this mental illness or this disease, it never really goes away.”

And just like many others who suffer from mental illness, Bellisario said she feels like no one truly understands what she went through. “Still to this day, I couldn’t get anyone—even the people who loved me the most, even my boyfriend or my mother or my father—to understand what that experience was truly like for me,” she said. “It was about my eating disorder, and I found there were so many people who thought that it was about losing weight or being skinny, and I couldn’t quite get them to understand that it was about control on a very, very literal level.”

Gina Rodriguez

View this post on Instagram

One year after the devastation of Hurricane Maria, there is still work to be done. Thank you @ricky_martin for giving us all an opportunity to continue to contribute to the reconstruction of our beautiful island of Puerto Rico. #allin4pr #miislabonita ❤️🙌🏽 link in bio 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷

A post shared by Gina Rodriguez-LoCicero (@hereisgina) on Oct 26, 2018 at 4:12pm PDT

Jane the Virgin star Gina Rodriguez got candid about her struggle with anxiety in a moving Instagram post. “I suffer from anxiety,” she captioned the video, which sees her makeup-free in a New York Yankees cap. “And watching this clip I could see how anxious I was but I empathize with myself. I wanted to protect her and tell her it’s ok to be anxious, there is nothing different or strange about having anxiety and I will prevail.”

Shawn Mendes

View this post on Instagram

Je t’aime France ! 🇫🇷 x

A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes) on Nov 10, 2018 at 2:31pm PST

It may be hard to believe that Canada’s very own heartthrob has had his fair share of anxious episodes, but he has. In April 2018, the singer-songwriter told The Sun in an interview that he had seen a therapist a few times. “I found I was closing myself off from everybody, thinking that would help me battle [my anxiety], then realizing the only way I was going to battle it was completely opening up and letting people in,” Mendes said.

Said anxiety was chronicled in his single “In My Blood” (Lyrics: Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in, sometimes I feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough, someone help me.)

“All pain is temporary, and the thing is with anxiety, and why it’s such a hard thing for people who don’t have it to understand, is that it is very random and it hits you at moments you don’t expect it. Sometimes it lasts two hours, sometimes it lasts a day and sometimes it lasts five minutes,” he said.

Sarah Hyland

Back in December 2018, Sarah Hyland opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts after her body rejected a kidney donated by her dad. The Modern Family star, who has had a slew of health problems her whole life, appeared on Ellen in early January 2019 and spoke about her depression.

“After 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day—and [you] don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day—it’s really, really hard…” she said.

“I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it, and my reasoning behind it, and how it wasn’t anybody’s fault,” the 28-year-old revealed, adding that she was “very, very, very close,” to taking her own life.

When asked how she overcame her suicidal thoughts and depression, Hyland said that she confided in a close friend (“I finally said it out loud to someone… just saying it out loud helped immensely, because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time.”) who urged her to see a therapist.

The post These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

0 notes

jessicakehoe · 4 years

Text

These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness

Ariana Grande

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Mar 30, 2019 at 9:57am PDT

photography via instagram/@arianagrande

Prince Harry

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal) on Sep 24, 2019 at 5:00am PDT

Selena Gomez

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Nov 24, 2016 at 6:21pm PST

Camila Cabello

Cabello had already been open about her struggles with anxiety prior to the incident, however, telling Billboard that 2015 was a “low” for her, personally.

Zayn Malik

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Zayn Malik (@zayn) on Aug 14, 2018 at 10:01pm PDT

Cara Delevingne

However, Cara stopped the meds at age 18, saying “I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather then be dependant on meds, ever.”

Adele

View this post on Instagram

Auckland / Mt Smart Stadium / Mar 25

A post shared by Adele (@adele) on Mar 25, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT

Lady Gaga

View this post on Instagram

I felt like a princess in custom @tiffanyandco made just for me for the #GoldenGlobes 🤗 The Aurora necklace was named after the Aurora Borealis as an homage to #AStarIsBorn 🌟 #TiffanyAndCo

A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Jan 8, 2019 at 10:29am PST

But despite her hardships, the A Star is Born actress told William “the best thing that could come out of my mental illness was to share it with other people.”

“I feel like we are not hiding anymore, we’re starting to talk, and that’s what we need to do really,” she said.

Demi Lovato

Jennifer Lawrence

Photography by Steve Granitz/WireImage

Emma Stone

Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage

Chrissy Teigen

View this post on Instagram

My stoop buddy

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 29, 2017 at 6:47pm PDT

Troian Bellisario

Gina Rodriguez

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Gina Rodriguez-LoCicero (@hereisgina) on Oct 26, 2018 at 4:12pm PDT

Shawn Mendes

View this post on Instagram

Je t’aime France ! 🇫🇷 x

A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes) on Nov 10, 2018 at 2:31pm PST

Said anxiety was chronicled in his single “In My Blood” (Lyrics: Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in, sometimes I feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough, someone help me.)

Sarah Hyland

The post These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

0 notes