#too fast for me but good for them i guess

[doromoni]

Gear Shift Failure | MV1, LN4

Ships : Lando Norris x presenter! Reader , Max Verstappen x presenter! Reader

Genre : Fluff , Angst

Sub tags : Mutual Pinning , She fell too early , He fell too late.

Summary : A new f1 presenter and journalist has entered the paddock and she brings chaos along the way. And as competition looms , will the current Champion be as fast outside the track?

Face claim : Sofia Wylie

A/N: Upon receiving many requests, here’s the continuation you lovely goblins 🤍. Also I am still continuing the Clash of Champions ~ i promise (finals end this week!!)

Part 1.

You fought the smile that was forming on your face, as you re-read your conversation with Lando from yesterday.

It has already been a week since your interview with Lando, yet you somehow found yourself in constant communication with the young British Driver. You weren’t going to deny that you enjoyed spending time and talking to him. And maybe going out on dates with Lando would do you good.

“ Ok, so I have a friend and she has a dilemma”

You suddenly broke the silence in the room. You were in your designated office inside Sky yet again, but this time you had the older drivers lazying around your space. Some with a book in hand — while the rest just played on their phones.

“What’s your dilemma muñequita? “ Fernando asked as he set down his phone, giving you his entire attention.

“Not me Nando! My friend” you exclaimed at the Spanish world champion who was lounging on your couch still munching on the chips he found in your stash.

“Mhm… yes your friend. Continue, sweetie~ “ Lewis urged you to speak, as he settled further into your couch right beside Fernando

“ Yes, let the girl speak! What is it Liefje” Nico added as he clutched your oversized plush into his arms, a half-opened book dangling in his hands.

“My friend likes this guy right? The two of them are very close and they share this connection that to others seems more than a friendship- and at one point my friend thought that he felt the same with her a—“

You once again didn’t finish your sentence when Nando interrupted you once more.

“Really? What happe-“The Aston Martin driver was invested

“LET THE GIRL SPEAK!”

“FERNANDO! “

“MATE, I SWEAR!”

They all collectively scolded the Spanish driver — prompting him to laugh and raise his hands in surrender

“Ok. So my friend thought that the guy that she liked was starting to like her back. But not a week later, the guy that she liked was rumored to have a girlfriend. And he started to avoid my friend…. This was 3 months ago by the way.” You finally finished your story, and now you look at their reactions

Fernando, Lewis, Nico, and Valterri had all fallen into thinking.

“So how long is the guy and the new girl going out? And how does your friend feel” the quiet Finnish driver gently asked you.

“Oh, officially for a few weeks, I guess? My friend felt hurt of course. But it gets less painful overtime… uh she said that to me”

“Oh. That’s good for your friend, liefjie! By the sound of it she slowly moving on” Nico uttered, a sense of comfort rushed through you

“How is your friend now, Is she feeling ok?” Lewis asked empathically

“ She’s great, and you’re right Nico. She slowly moving on.”

“So what’s the problem muñequita?”

“Well, another person had asked her out and she feels guilty because she doesn’t want to use him to get over the guy she likes” you explained to the 4 older drivers.

“WHO ASKED YOU OUT !? Young lady tell us this instance!” You didn’t expect Lewis’ outbursts — you expect Nando to react that way, but not Lewis!

“It’s not me!!” You tried to bluff once more

“Y/N, we know it’s you” Nico explained with a smile, while you pouted as they all chuckled.

“OK FINE! It’s me” You utter as you gave up the act.

“So I assume the guy you were talking about was Max, right?” Valtteri asked, finally speaking.

“I’m very obvious aren’t I?” You said defeated, as you stood up from your seat and wedged yourself beside Nico.

“Everyone with a pair of eyes knew something was between you and Max, “ Nando said as Valterri nodded in agreement.

“Young lady, you haven’t answered my question. Who asked you? Is it another driver?” Suddenly you felt like you were on the hot seat — as all their eyes focused on you with eyebrows raised. It felt like you were being questioned by your dad.

“Uhmm yes, it’s another driver… it’s Lando” You said as you picked on your nails. A shy smile graces your face.

“ He finally had the balls to ask huh?” Nando snickered

“What?? You also knew?!” You asked flabbergasted. You surveyed the room and saw all of them snickering amongst themselves.

“He did ask for my permission, sort of… it was just jumbled words that didn’t make sense then” Lewis explained as he visibly got less tense.

“Lando asked permission from you?? What are you, my dad?” You asked amused, come to think of it Lewis was sort of a father figure to you. Being that he always supported and guided you ever since the start of your journey in Formula 1

“Well, you sticking around me like a toddler in your first year here doesn’t help, sweetie.” Lewis could only laugh at the memories of him taking care of you. Memories like Lewis driving you around, giving you food, telling you to talk to others.

“And what are you guys? My uncles?” You asked the 3 drivers, who only shrugged and nodded.

“Well, should I say yes to Lando then?” You asked dropping all pretense and just laying it all out

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, Liefjie” Nico advised

“Yeah try something new, Dear. Max had his chance and he didn’t take it. So go have fun with Lando!” Fernando added, patting your hand.

You set your eyes on Valtteri — who only nodded his head with a smile.

“ You have our approval, and we’ll support your decision, sweetie! Do what will make you happy” Lewis said comfortingly

the.Y/N

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris , maxverstappen1, and 472,002 others

the.Y/N Apparently, @lewishamilton is my father?? I was only made notice now, ok I guess.

lewishamilton thank you for the flattering pictures , sweetie 🥲

the.Y/N oh no worries, pops! More to come I swear🤍

user1 Y/N please don’t dogshow the old man 😭

user2 HAHAHAHAAH I swear Y/N is a different breed

user3 Awwww! I always loved it when Lewis calls Y/N sweetie.

user4 The grid father and daughter pairing 🤍

landonorris Oh, You weren’t aware?

the.Y/N No, I was not :)) . I was made aware when someone asked for permission.

landonorris well glad to be of service

lewishamilton @landonorris get your act straight! I already approve

landonorris @lewishamilton will do my very best, sir. Thank you 🫡

the.Y/N I hate and love you both 😮‍💨

User1 Approve of what Sir Lewis?? Lando is approved for what??

mercedesamgf1 family photo with Roscoe when?

the.Y/N already have tons of it in the gallery 😛

You continued to scroll past your feed and Kelly’s post appeared …

kellypiquet

liked by maxvestappen1 and 638,073 others

kellypiquet Happiest when with you 💙

view all comments

maxverstappen1 💙

You knew that you shouldn’t feel jealousy or anger, but you couldn’t help but frown as you saw Max and Kelly acting all sweet. It still stung that you didn’t mean anything more to Max, all the memories you’ve made you’ve looked at rose-tinted, shattered.

So you strengthened your resolve and focused all your thoughts on your work. You then remembered that you had a date with Lando. You went back to your conversation a while ago

Then slowly, without noticing, a smile bloomed on your face at the thought of Lando Norris.

One date with Lando turned into two, two turned into three, then four and five.

the.Y/N

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial, and 629,920 others

the.Y/N So much fun , laughs , and food 🧡 10/10 would do again!

charles_leclerc you aren’t sneaky with that orange heart y/n

the.y/n 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

lewishamilton stay safe and go home early ~ i’m watching you two.

the.Y/N hehehe will do, promise

User1 Ms. Y/N are you seeing someone 🧐

the.Y/N I dunno~ maybeeee

User2 ok! Im invested. Who is it @the.Y/N?? Please spill

User2 this is so Lando Norris coded I swear.

User 6 I know!! Golf and karting? Could they be more obvious. Ughh I ship it🧡

User3 you look sooooooo pretty Y/N!! who ever’s dating , I hope they could fight . 😤

liked by landonorris

User3 LANDO NORRIS LIKED MY COMMENT??? HELLO?!

User4 Lando????!!

You were progressively forgetting your feelings for the Dutch Red Bull Driver . How can you not? When Lando Norris had been showering you with so much love and affection.

Then finally, Lando asked you to be his girlfriend. You said yes. You were ready to let someone else in your heart— and this time you were sure that there was someone to catch you when you fell.

your story close friends

viewed by landonorris , charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 , and 35 others

story replies

charles_leclerc I made this couple 💪 It was all MEEEE.

landonorris 🧡🤍 someones getting bolder ey?

maxverstappen1 haha i’ve been replaced as your bestfriend 😂

landonorris story

viewed by the.Y/N , charles_leclerc , carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 , and 5,628,926 others

the.Y/N And I was bold? Ok soft launch ~ Kudos mr. Norris! I won’t go down without a fight tho 🫡

charles_leclerc someones being braveee

carlossainz55 Landino! Are you and y/n ready to share to the world then?

The two of you kept everything on the low, yet you didn’t keep it a secret — only very select few knew. Lando and you wanted to enjoy what you two had to yourselves first. Everyone outside your circle thought that the two of you were just friends.

But that didn’t stop either of you from posting online.

Max saw your posts and the feeling of something clawing in his stomach resurfaced. He didn’t like it one bit. It has been 2 months ever since he found out that Lando held feelings for you. And it has been a month since the two of you properly spoke. And if he were honest to himself, Max missed your presence dearly.

Kelly didn’t have anything in common with him. And most of the time, he grew bored and he just wanted to crawl back to his sim and drive constantly.

Max missed talking about everything and nothing with you. He missed how you shared his interests and how the two of you explored every one of them. Max just missed… You.

The longer he stared at his phone screen, the deeper his anxiety rose. He didn’t like what he saw, not one bit. He needed to do something about it.

***

You are lounging in your Boyfriend’s condo, dressed in a hoodie that you stole from his dresser. Soft music played on the centralized sound system.

Lando was inside his streaming room live on Twitch, while you made your way into his kitchen and started to cook dinner for the two of you. Lando did love your cooking.

Then suddenly your phone rang and to your surprise it was Max calling. Without any further thought, you picked up the call.

“Hello, Y/N?” You heard Max’s voice on the line, the usual butterflies present in your stomach were now absent. You didn’t feel the bubbling sensation you used to feel when Max unexpectedly called.

Then suddenly, you heard Lando shout nonsense, probably at his best mate. A smile grazed your lips as you heard your boyfriend’s shout in the distance.

“Oh, hi Max! What’s up?” You asked curiously, balancing your phone on your shoulders as you took out the ingredients from the fridge.

“Where are you, right now? No one’s answering the front door” Max’s reply startled you. Why is he at your house all of a sudden?

“What? You’re in my house… uh why?” You asked, a tone of confusion present in your voice

“It’s Wednesday, Movie night remember” You were filled with even more perplexity for the Red Bull driver. The two of you haven’t talked one one-on-one for nearly a month, not even through chat. Movie nights with Max were long forgotten.

“Max…. We haven’t had movie night in 3 months.” You replied carefully.

“Uhm, we can start again?” You sensed the hopelessness in his voice.

“I’m sorry Max, I’m at Lando’s right now… and I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate it if we suddenly continued movie nights”

“You’re at Lando’s? Y/N its already la-”

“Max I think it’s best if we kept our distance… yeah?” You suddenly interjected, clearly stating your boundaries.

“What?! Why?” Max asked incredulously

“Max … you have a girlfriend! I don’t want to create any misunderstandings. And I don’t want Lando to have doubts … considering that I used to have feelings for you before. But we can still hang out … but in a group setting”

You didn’t mean to spill everything and tell Max of your past feelings for him, but you found yourself relieved of letting it out of your chest. Now you could truly say that you have moved on.

There was silence before Max had finally answered. “Oh… ok. I understand”

“Bye Max” At that you ended the call, leaving that part of your past behind.

The sound of the call ending echoed in Max’s head. The words you’ve said slowly dawned on him.

You liked him? Since when? Suddenly understanding and relief filled Max. He realized that he liked you more than just a sister. He didn’t look at you as just a friend. He suddenly understood the emotions that he was so afraid to explore before. What he felt for you was something so strong that it scared him. It wasn’t like what he felt when he was with Kelly, no. But with you, He felt vulnerable, He felt like everything was on the table because you understood him so well.

Then suddenly Max froze, as if cold water was dumped all over him. You said liked … past tensed. You didn’t like him anymore. Max was suddenly filled with dread, chest hurting as if tons of weight pressed on it.

He had his chances in making you his, and his alone. Max Verstappen maybe the fastest driver on the grid , but outside the track — he had failed to switch gears from making you from a friend to much much more. He had lost you and it was all his fault.

landonorris

liked by the.Y/N , mclaren, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc , and 1,639,829 others

landonorris the world should see the forever view of my camera lens. Love you , stranger 🧡

tagged @the.Y/N

the.Y/N I love you more, stranger🧡

taglist: @spookystitchery @bibissparkles @newlifeforus @steamy-smokey @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @charizznorizz @evesfile @j-lesca @gr1mes-cc @ironmaiden1313

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 imagine #red bull racing #mclaren #max verstappen #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #lewis hamilton #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando #lando x reader #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 #mv1 x y/n #mv1 fic #mv1 imagine #mv1 x reader #mv1 x you #mv1 angst #lando imagine #lando norris #formula 1 fanfic

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hey!

It'll be long post, so i understand if you decide to ignore it, sorry :)

You know, there were a lot of people that were convinced loumand kiss we saw in trailer was goodbye kiss, because of Louis' expression. I was one of them.

Turns out that it's NOT truth and everyone just accepted it and moved to talk how romantic it was and that apparently Louis just has this face when horny or whatever.

And I truly struggled to see it. And at first I felt incredibly guilty because I'm loustat shipper first, other ships appreciator second. I thought my mind doesn't let me see romance in other ship because I'm too loustat centric.

I tried to rewatch that scene and tried to brighten it up to see kiss and expression better (I'm sorry but while almost silhouette kiss is beautiful I'd prefer see character's expressions better in show like this, wish lighting was different)

But still! While during date Louis had more carefree and flirtatious expression, that kiss felt very off. I get that it's after talk about lestat but shouldn't he show more... Joy? Anticipation of more to come? Basically don't look like he does it because he HAS to.

So I thought, well, it CAN'T be jacob slacking, he's terrific at his job. And it can't be that I'm THAT biased, right?

So, let me tell you, I'm SO GLAD to found your post about this kiss! I saw too many people writing about Louis being fucked up to invite Armand to fuck after being threatened, that he loves them dangerous (he kinda does, but that's not the point), that he thinks only with dick, ignores red flags (again he does,but we talk about this particular moment) etc

He knows Armand is interested in him. He knows Armand has power. Armand technically didn't lay his hands on him but he COULD'VE and WOULD'VE if it's not for his affection to Louis.

I truly don't believe Louis viewed this as "I HAVE to kill Louis, you committed a crime, no hard feelings though, that's just my job! You know what?... You're cute so I'll let you go actually"

Maybe I give Louis too much credit but he's smarter than that. He also knows power play intimately, was on giving and receiving end countless times in his human and vampire life.

Add to it that tale Armand told about his old coven killing themselves when he actually threw them in fire. It was 100% to position himself as someone who has way less power over other vampires that he actually does. I don't believe coven can pressure Armand into ANYTHING. And glimpses of him abusing his power over Claudia prove it (CONSENT TO LOOK IN THE EYES? ARE YOU SERIOUS?)

And Louis was THERE to witness all this and I absolutely believe he noticed it. That scene with dreamstat where lestat says he's the only one who Louis can trust made me think Louis is not as blind to Armands red flags as he appears.

And what we know about ep4 confirms it. Lestats "HA!" in museum already indicates that Armand is telling some bullshit and Louis at least subconsciously doesn't believe it. There's also scene in park from teaser "I want you" "You sure about that?" Maybe it's misleading or maybe it goes like this, guess we'll see

I wrote so much, again, i'm sorry.i just wanted to say, I agree so much with your post, and I hope crazy people in fandom already blocked you so you don't get any hate for pointing out that consent under threat of potential death is not really THAT consensual. Hope it won't be repeat about people attacking you like for post about hate sex in ep6

All good. And I wasn't, and I have seen I wasn't the only one clocking in on things (just reblogged a post wrt that).

Jacob is too good an actor to not show the fitting emotion if it was meant to be something positive. But he didn't.

The show went dark, real fast. And they're about to go even darker. A lot.

#Anonymous #ask nalyra #iwtv s2 #iwtv #amc iwtv #interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire s2 #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc

[lazzarella]

Okay, I wanted to note down basically every single moment because there was just SO MUCH goodness, ahhhhh. Anyway, here's some rambling from me:

- Noooooo, technical issues?? Whyyyyy? My life is meaningless D:

- ...oh, here we go! Yes!

- Oh no! :( Poor Yak! (I figured his mum was dead but oof)

- Wandee hugging Yoryak! And taking his hand! Ahhhh, opening strong with Dee looking after Yak <3

- Is Ter jealous because he like likes Dee? (A question I kept asking throughout this ep—I think he’s mostly just put out to no longer be the centre of attention)

- "You should know he moves on fast" then Ter said something about "too fast this time" ??? Curious about this??? Maybe just about his dating history?

- Lol @ Yak and Dee dropping each other's hands when they spot Kwan and Ter!!!

- "They have really good chemistry" You're so right, Doctor Kwan

- TER LIVES IN 666!!! Lmaooooooooo. Nice work, set folk!

- that whole conversation over breakfast about Yak being jealous and then already having someone he likes was soooo delicious to me

- TEACHING HIM TO FLIRT!!!!! Oh dee, what have you done, you silly boy? XD he really played himself

- THEY WERE GONNA KISS! God, I want them to kiss already but I also loooove the almost kiss moments so much. Just... the LONGING ugh

- "Did you like that?" Oh, he very much did, Yak

- The whole talk between Yak and Cher... Aside from the content, I love their interactions because it's just nice seeing them established as family I guess?? Like, that Cher isn't just his brother's boyfriend

- Yak saying he's not someone who changes his mind easily is interesting to me! Not just because he obviously does for Dee, but I wonder if that's partly why he's clinging to liking Taem? I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't still have feelings. Just spitballing

- The training scene killed me! Yak getting horny and flustered watching Dee do situps! Dee immediately jumping to Yak being sick and wanting to make sure he's okay! Yak calling Dee cute and *Dee* getting flustered! Taem coming in and seeing them horse around!! Dee getting jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!

- (speaking of horses, I don't understand all the sound effects yet, so I'm not sure what the horse neighing is meant to signify??)

- Have some thoughts about how I love how much of this ep is circling their developing feelings for each other via their feelings for others' (or Yak's anyway)

- the music changes between soft and romantic when the camera is on Yak and Dee vs fighty and upbeat when it's on Dee watching them is too funny lmao

- this situation is getting very 'you love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody eeeeeelse' (Dee and Yak and Taem and Ter and Kwan and Ohm!!! That's a love hexagon???)

- Taem clocked the necklace 😏

- "Why do you complicate the thing that's already complicated?" Ouch. Kao doesn't know it but he totally called me out there lol

- Isn't their 'fake' dating going to put Taem off though??? I mean, IDT she likes Yak that way at all, but still

- loving the complicated feelings this show is going into! Because Yak does probably still like Taem while he's falling for Dee, and Dee still must feel something for Ter while he's falling for Yak and mmmm. Just delicious!

- and they NEARLY KISSED AGAIN! And then Dee pushed Yak and splashed him lol

- they are SO unconvincing (their reasons for Dee sleeping over)

- love the dinner scene with Dee, Yak, Cher and Yei <3 I love that Cher and Yei are so welcoming to him, even while they let Yak sort out his feelings

- Aww, I had a feeling he was finishing uni for his mum! And I love that he tells Dee that while he wasn't comfortable telling Yei

- Dr Kwan deserves better

- Dee cheering for Yak!!! <3

- Okay, of all the ways they end up tiger/bunny roleplaying, Kao getting them to do it was NOT on my radar lol except Dee is a leopard not a tiger

- Yak sulking! Dee coaxing him with a hug and a cheek sniff kiss!!! Yesssssssss

- ...and now it's a HPV vaccine PSA? Cool! I personally don't really need shows to give me sex ed but, you know what, good on 'em, anyway! I know sex ed, especially on queer sex, is pretty dire…probably most places? So yeah

- Sigh. And the countdown to next week begins again!

#wandee goodday #long post #wandee goodday spoilers #lazzarella watches tv

[maraczeks]

friends s1 thread pt 2

#aug 26 2022 #not susan 😭😭 #monica... i am a monica defendant her parents..... #chandlers giving will unfortunately ..... #everything i do is just about mac and will unfortunately it's so hot when will smokes but what is this idc #this show is 10% just them watching tv? #aug 27 2022 #hm idk if i like ross :| #rachel is just a baby a baby a tiny princess i hold in my hand #i would be so annoyed as a coffee shop patron how did they not get kicked out #i love phoebe so much shes so me #rachel sitting in the cart 😭😭😭😭 #woah #too fast for me but good for them i guess #monica is soooo me my type a #sept 7 2022 #just finished 1.10 MONICA IN THE THANKSGIVING EP AND PHOEBE IN THE NEW YEARS EP OH MY GODDDDDD 🥺💞🥺💞🥺💞🥺 like the most romance heroine coded e #nov 11 2022 #the amount of time i spent scrolling imagine if tumblrs tagging system worked #1.18 #monica u r so perfect #phoebeeeeee my beloved #rachel my princess #seriously i love them:(

[0509-brainrot]

shake up that brain

#milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #my art #ah.. i suppose it's fine if i just put my general milgram art here too right? #anyways guess who Actually remembered how to draw ..? #kinda? i don't really know how this drawing happened it all happened so fast #but i like how it turned out ! i've been hating how everything i draw turns out lately guhhh #started off as a bit of a vent doodle then i thought “wait this looks kinda good” and here we are #i really like drawing mikoto when i'm stressed they're fun to draw :)) #i haven't done a like. Full Actual drawing in so long aaaa (no i don't count the previous arts on this blog those were more like doodles..) #i apologize to all the 0509ers following me i have not been putting out my best work for them.. #i have ideas cooking *rubbing hands together* #but for now.... kotos !! I think they're neat

[buddiesmutslut]

I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?

I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.

I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”

And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.

I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.

#911 abc #buddie #demisexual eddie diaz #also pls don’t come at me with “you don’t care about bi representation”. he’s already bi #he’s always been bi & I’ve loved watching him on this journey #but his & Eddie’s relationship is literally the only reason I started this show in the first place #and again if they find good LI’s & bring them more into focus #the time spent on the Buddie relationship will decrease. that’s just how tv & time limits work #and if my favorite relationship on the show goes away then why would I continue watching it religiously? #also I know I’m a bitch & would therefore hate any person they brought in to be the HEA for them & that’s not fun for anyone #not that I would bully the actor/actress bc im not an ASSHOLE #eddie diaz #evan buckley #I literally watched Booth & Bones take like 9 seasons to get together I am IN IT with a slow burn #unless they do what they did last season & shoehorn 2 LI’s in at the last second on the last episode then I guess I wouldn’t have a choice #Tim would’ve pulled a fast one on me #also I will watch literally anything else Oliver Stark is in SNOOKUMS I love you so much. come home the kids miss you 😂 #& probably Lou also bc he’s so freaking cute irl I wanna die #with his curly hair and his silly faces and his muscles and his wanting to be held in the dark #LOU BABY ILL HOLD YOU IF THE POWER GOES OUT #I have spent too much of my life & time & energy to get 0 payout and it’s honestly unsustainable but that’s a whole different problem

[edelorion]

#edel vents #disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh... #so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!! #today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today #and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go #i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with #aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there #and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to #discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual. #had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore) #so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood. #went home tired. can't really do anything right now. #at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks. #...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone #worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..? #i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed #as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them. #when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness. #to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth #and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her. #she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred #i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many #i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating. #i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin. #i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out. #i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it. #and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved. #i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something. #maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now. #sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.

[lyricalambrosia]

I love writing normal well adjusted men (aka another snippet of the final chapter of Can You Feel The Sun?, the first two chapters of which you can read here!)

#i wrote this to 'angel of small death and the codeine scene' which is a surprisingly good millionsummers song #trigun #millions knives #legato bluesummers #millionsummers #anyway this'll probably be the last snippet for a while!! i dont wanna give too much away #but also im still only in the beginning half of the chapter so 🙊 #also i hate these two because they do NOT want to take it slow. which like fair i guess theyre both impatient people #and nai especially has a history of being impulsive #but cmon man. i dont want anyone saying yall got back together too fast because youre stupid in love with each other give me a break #doing my best to hit the brakes but at a certain point it just stops being in character cause neither of them would wait. you know. #am i the only one that feels that way. anyway im running away now #once again i hope i did the link right. i may be 25 but fellas im so not savvy when it comes to embedding links. idk why #my writing

[crossbackpoke-check]

V random but I’m in my Brockpetey feels could I listen to your 46 60 playlist!!

of course!! the first playlist i mentioned in the tags is actually not mine—it belongs to ash @notthequiettype and is a soundtrack to their wonderful fic Lake Rules (go read it if you haven’t already!!! highly recommend!!!)

annnd this one is my personal brockpetey vibes playlist

happy listening!!!

#liv in the replies #sadcanucksfan #also!! ash if you want me to unlink/untag please let me know and i will!!! #this one got bumped up because it’s currently relevant (i just posted brockpetey content) the rest of them will be scheduled in the queue 🫡 #if i don’t do it now i will lose all links and ability to find things #as for my brockpetey i have zero reasons for any of the songs besides minnesota. it’s all vibes no thoughts. #minnesota to me is the quintessential brock petey song topped only (but really equaled) by charm you (also by samia) #like minnesota i would love to say is a joke but i really heard that song for the first time YEARS ago and went oh my fucking god. #i’m going back to minnesota huh #and then CHARM YOU??? AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ME PERSONALLY???? #you’re telling me there’s the lyrics ‘kissin you would be like kissin on the USA’ & ‘flying while i’m lying that i hate LA’ & it’s not 406? #(addition that i wasn’t gonna tell you but i have to tell y’all because it’s relevant to Me. samia is so so so so good live.) #(also i haven’t added it to the playlist because it’s sad but kill her freak out has narrative potential as brockpetey. also???? #they’re all somehow petey pov to me. sometimes people just get assigned bands in my head for no reason & i think samia is petey’s vibe band. #BESIDES bbno$ which is canon lmao. spiritually petey is a samia song to me i guess idk why either sorry but kill her freak out #is a (seemingly you know how i am) unrequited brock/petey for when brock got his gf. thank u for your time i hate it too just listen to it) #also no statements about my music taste i will cry. if you hate it don’t tell me if you have recs do tell me #although i do have a joke playlist compiled of all the songs brock has been screencapped listening to because. why not. it’s fun and also #has that man ever listened to a single lyric in his life. what the FUCK is up with your chill playlist bud none of those songs are chill. #lovingly. ripping my hair out. the amount of times he listens to fast car like???? girl are you okay. #anyway this is ur reminder i miss stalking people on spotify let me see your music taste cowards. #ALSO #IF I THINK TOO LONG ABOUT PETEY IN MINNESOTA I WILL LOSE MY SHIT SO I AM NOT JUST KNOW THAT I CLICKED THE FIC & SKRTED I CAN’T HAVE EMOTIONS #if i did not have someplace to be at precisely 7:50AM i would be having a full breakdown please believe me. #oh also ALSO bonus points if you figure out what the numbers in the name are :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#woof. if all goes to plan Tomorrow is the last day i have to take measurements forever. if all goes to plan. if all goes to plan. but im #not holding my breath bc thats asking for chaos. i think this week ive done a good job of not pushing it #in terms of not torturing myself and making myself insane. which is good bc its exhausting taking measurements with the ambient stress of #apartment hunting from across the country. ive toured 2 places from afar and applied to them. and im meeting with someone to talk abt #potentially being roommates tomorrow. which is terrifying bc i really just wanna beg them like pls pls like me so i can stop looking pls #like i have to rely on my charisma i guess when im a bit asocial and odd. not unlikable but idk maybe they want someone more normie idk #its exhausting. ive sent so many emails and so many places r like no u gotta physically visit. ugh #and i have to clean my whole apartment by Tuesday for my landlord to inspect bc i had to give them a 30 day notice or else they wouldn't #release my info for like referal on background checks. there should b flexibility in when i can leave tho. its just stressful #at least im doing this when im pretty stable and i stop taking measurements tomorrow but i haven't taken a break since last Saturday #and haven't really had time to properly draw which annoys me and apparently i wont get a break this weekend with all the cleaning i gotta do #but oh well. at least im better off than the other person i kno who is moving Tuesday across the country and currently doesnt have a place #to stay. so i guess theyre gonna b living out of their car for a while. im stressed enough a month out from leaving #sigh. im just v tired and my heart is beating too fast and i wanna start cleaning now but im sleepy #whenever we go sampling we joke that we have to make sacrifices to the weather gods for good conditions. i guess i gotta make sacrifices #to the housing gods 🙏 ugh. pls. i dont wanna still b doing this for another week when i wont have time bc ill actually have to focus on #things. ugh. cant wait to b in the future where i dont have to deal with this #unrelated

[fingertipsmp3]

2024 if you fuck me up I will never forgive you

#why did i chip a filling i’ve had for two years. at least it’s only Chipped i guess. not fully gone #but what the fuck bro. why #i was eating the softest food in the world too. literally chicken korma and rice with a naan. SOFT #maybe the naan was chewy and the sauce was sticky and it created a lethal combination idk #i have to call the dentist tomorrow and for what #i love spending money i don’t have on dental work 🫠 y’know i really.. i really love seeing that money come in every week #and thinking ‘you know what i’m going to spend that on? having teeth’ #if anyone younger than me is reading this brush your teeth right now. then floss them. please #i’m not going to tell you to use mouthwash because i don’t use mouthwash because it’s a horrible sensory experience for me #on like 3 different levels. but like. whatever you do just don’t end up like me #i’m just so Annoyed because it’s literally a tiny bit of tooth that’s come off but because it’s like.. the edge of the molar right where it #touches the next tooth; it feels Really uncomfortable. and i know i’m going to get in and they’ll be like ‘but did you floss it?’ #NO i didn’t floss it. for fuck’s sake. why do you think i’m back here after two years #i hope they can fix it fast this time. last time what happened was i went in and they were like ‘okay wow.. so your tooth has chipped #and the part that came off has basically embedded itself in your gum’ so they had to basically dig it out (sans anaesthetic #because i refused it because it doesn’t work on me anyway) and then my gum was bleeding so much they were like ‘we can’t fill this’ #they gave me a temporary filling. fell off within 4 weeks. gave me another one (no charge for that one) it again fell off in four weeks #at which point it was late 2021 when there was no official lockdown but medical professionals were refusing to see anybody whatsoever #you were hearing about people removing their own teeth at home. it was wild. anyway i finally got a proper filling 4 months later #and then today i ate rice and it fell off. probably because i don’t floss. possibly because it just wasn’t a good filling #most of it is definitely still on there but i’m now prodding it with my tongue like ‘are you going to bail on me too?’ #i feel like i need to look in there and make sure it’s not in my gum. i don’t want a repeat of last time #fix me the same day i go in to get it looked at or so help me #personal

[ilonacho]

the fucking audacity of watching the pixar short film “going home” while i’m home for my grandma’s funeral.

#like….. yeah #2 weeks ago i did not know id be here rn #i did not know she would take a turn for the worse this fast #im very thankful things worked out to where i could be here #for my wife and her support and i guess my boss and coworkers for their understanding #i have been lucky to not have been here for the very tough times #im thankful to be here with my family now #theyre doing a lot of new housing in my town now #many buildings i walked by as a kid have been demolished and are being rebuilt #we emptied my grandmas room today. she had only lived there for about 3 weeks before passing #we drive by my mom olds house. the house i grew up in. the new owner still hasnt torn down my old curtains in my old room #the old curtains my grandma had sewn for me when i was a baby #my dad is thinking about moving too. too many new buildings too many new people too much noise #two of my cousins have kids now! and the third one is getting married soonish? her fiance seems nice. he seems like he cares about her #my nephew and niece are so big now. i still havent met my other niece #i wonder if any of my old classmates have had kids? if they moved too? #ill be leaving again on tuesday. itll be a looong day #my parents have more and more grey hairs every time i see them #i dont see my brother as much as id like. hes following his dreams and im proud of him. hes a good kid #anyway the guy who made said short film is literally just like me fr #from germany and had been in the us 5 years (at the time) and making this short film? #just like me fr #anyway. this became one of those diaries for me posts haha #it just really captured how it is really well

[samarecharm]

I am adoring some of the tags i got on that goro ref. They are all correct. I knew what i was getting into when i decided to give him the tumblr sexyman treatment 😭 I do want to stand my ground tho, to say that i do think goro is a wet napkin of a human being. A disaster. Overly competitive to a fault. Exceedingly cocky. This is someone who said ‘i do bouldering’ as like a flex and immediately had haru shut that shit down and say ‘hmm doesnt take much strength to do that :0’. Someone who cant handle spicy food and scarfs it down anyway. He snores like a truck when hes sleeping and scares himself away when its too loud. He claims akira has fake glasses and mocks him for his dedication to his perceived appearance, and then pretends hes not doing the same thing when he does interviews. Nothing fucking fits him so its either Too Big (sweater) or too small (everything else). His idea of unassuming is Big Round Soft, so he is just a teddy bear to most kids. He unironically screams about ripping shadows apart and genuinely thinks he is Fine :)

#it does kind of suck tho bc like hes the Only character that looks like this fhdkdkdk #ryuji is way more toned and defined overall bc he actively works out in the gym #makoto is stocky; muscular but also below average height #ann is tall and fat; yusuke is tall and VERY thin #akira is soft all around and thin #not too much muscle anywhere. that changes a bit when he starts fighting in the metaverse #futaba is worryingly thin and short but she gets a growth spurt in her later school years #nearly jumping to akiras height (6’0) #haru isnt Fat but shes a bit big #and her arms are thick as hell from all her heavy lifting. shes got an amazing core and shes got a bit of fat cushioning all of it #so like #i do think of all the thieves and like #this kind of shit #bc its very interesting to me; i like thinking of like the more mundane aspects of their characters #like goro enjoying speedcore bc its loud and fast and it drowns out his thoughts #or akira being good at juggling bc he wanted to learn how to juggle knives and throw them #like silly things that dont really do anything to affect their Character #its just to make them more real in my head i guess

[sanssheriff13]

No you don’t get it they’re ALL stories about growing up

#crying over the last episode #I haven’t finished it yet #but I’ve just been looking at spoilers online #like yes very obviously yfla #going through puberty #but also Rosamund becoming an adult and having to learn about the world and adapt #and Timothy having to leave his good memories and move forward #but that doesn’t mean he has to give them up #and Pinocchio staying in eternal youth #he’s needed to grow up so fast #just like ylfa #and Gerard having to accept life moving #and changing as a person #and I guess pib #he’s there too #something something maturing allegory something #give me another post to organize thoughts #dimension 20 #d20 #dungeons and dragons #dnd #neverafter

[missshame]

#sonic boom #panda bear #spiritualized #jason pierce #i'm sooo grateful i got to see both jason pierce and peter kember #both shows were amazing #never would I have imagined that I would get to see them live someday when I started listening to spacemen 3 years ago #they seemed to out of this world I guess #i loved the sonic boom x panda bear show they were great and fun and the visuals were on fire #spiritualized was just as good as music can be to me also they opened with hey jane and my soul left my body #thank you life #( also the second picture isnt mine but i was too tired to use my camera lol) #Made that post the other day when I was feeling great I hate how fast my mood can change

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 5

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.

I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.

Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.

Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.

Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.

eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)

Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.

Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)

#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public #declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now.. #Not sure if this is helping me be more productive #though I think it might in some ways help me appreciate things around me more. Since I'm kind of collecting 'notable' sights or smells #or things. sometimes through the day I'm looking around my environment trying to spot anything whimsical or wonderful or pleasing #I could see this excercise possiblyhelping people pick out more positives around them and appreciate small things in life more #I kind of already do that (very meticulous slow moving person who notices tiny details in everything) so I'm not sure if it's any more than #I usually would but.. eh?? maybe?? #Still craving a ton of hearty foods lol my body is so so so deficient in something right now and I'm being very cool about it #I have a very high level of self control (so like am very responsible good at managing money and getting placeson time and planning and #etc. and abstaining from things if necessary (like wearing a mask and cutting out certain activities during a pandemice #or not eating something now that might hurt my stomach later etc. etc.) so It's not much of a problem but #if not... I would probably be ordering in so much random fast food and stuff or something ghh #Even before I was put on a restrictive diet by my doctors I still never ate out very much for money reasons #Usually once a month or less. this includes stuff like coffees (can be made at home cheaper) or drinks or etc. #Especially with the cost of things going up so much now I'm kind of glad I've already built in that habit #/have never known or gotten used to anything else - because if not I feel like it would be a real shock or like a struggle #I have friends that order in food for like every single meal and it's only getting more and more expensive #so I guess it's kind of releiving to not really have the prospect of that stress as much (though things in the grocery store #are still expensive too so.. even if you're cooking at home. You do save money but its STILL a strain with the current #economy). ANYWAY... maybe sometimes it is good to be miserly and poor.. if I had unlimited money and a spending habit or something #I could go through with ordering ribs and chicken wings and 5 plates of lasagna and a burrito and udon and etc. and eat it all at once #and then have such a bad stomach pains I have to go to the hospital lol #ANYWAY... #daily log