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linnienin · 11 months

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🖤A s t e r o i d ⁕ P a n t h e r a ⁕4 1 9 8🖤(through the signs and degrees) ~~~~~~~~~~~ Y o u r ⁕ p r e d a t o r y ⁕ e n e r g y ~~~~~~~~~~~

A warrior, a schemer, a predator. Smooth and calculated movements, planning how to kill you in complete silence. The black panther doesn't show off their plan, they only show you their claws.

🖤🐾

The panther is part of the leopard family but it's easily identified because of its black mantle. Usually outcasted due to this difference, they face more difficulties in their habitat as they can't hide so well like others leopards (a black spot is easily identified by potential preys). They take the harder route, panthers also love to jump from tree to tree to assess the situation from a higher perspective. Because of those challenges, they know how to get a better understanding of their environments and know how to use it to their advantage

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🖤 M y ⁕ i n t e r p r e t a t i o n :

In my opinion, Asteroid Panthera (4198) in a birth chart shows you:

⁕ How you scheme to catch your target ⁕ How you fight to gain respect ⁕ Your fighting temperament

The special-0 degrees : They are THE panther🖤. Surrounded by a mysterious but fiery aura. They have qualities that resembles the ones of these felines. Could love to climb or run as a sport. Enjoy risky activities cause they crave that adrenaline rush 🔥. They could even have physical traits resembling those of a panther, like a feline type of appeal (especially if you have this asteroid in 1st house and 0°). Dominant personalities. Get easily involved in fights lol. They have a big ego and have a need to show their potential to everyone, cause they really crave recognition. Possessive but very caring. Put others needs first, cause this way they feel they're the provider and hold the power.

Celebs examples of Panthera at 0°: Simone Ashley, Jennifer Lawrence, the Weeknd, Beyoncé, Jamie Campbell Bower, Johnny Depp

Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : Straight to the point, leaving their mark boldly 💥. Quick, harsh movements. Impulsive if triggered. Experts of both mental and physical aggression because of their experience. They never hold back to new scary trials, cause they're fearless. Incredible strategy skills, you make It looks like you come from the army lol (maybe you do!). But even if they create different plans they usually stick to one plan until the end, yes, even if it means dying on the battelfield (sometimes being fearless can make you blind to danger). Kings/queens of the territory. Insatiable warriors. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.

Celebs examples: Amita Suman, Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Emilia Clarke, Uma Thurman, Meryl Streep

Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees : Waiting in the lair for the food to come lol🍗. Not an obvious striker. Slow but steady, plan to trap their prey with their sensuality. Da 'lazy' panther: they don't even bother to plan or think about catching their prey, they get It like this 👏. Sometimes they may appear superficial or dumb, but well, it's part of their stategy 😉. Everyone wants them because they look at them as the perfect throphy and these natives know this very well as they have a high sense of self-worth. They're silent most of the times cause they're relaxing knowing they got ya... "why you feeling ✨ jittery✨darling, i'm here with you...oh sweetie by the way, did you buy that tiara of diamonds i told you i really liked?" 👀. So pretty It hurts...yeah, hitting your self-esteem to make you fall at their feet 😏

Celebs examples: Marylin Monroe, Monica Bellucci, Elizabeth Taylor, Keanu Reeves, Naomi Campbell, Grace Jones

Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees : Too fast you can't keep up 🌪️. You won't see them coming in any way. They are like a rap song, you're vibing until you realize the words they're speaking 😶. Funny queens/kings that kill you with their sense of humour. Rolling eyes at you, putting into discussion your crafting level as their strategy to make you feel worthless. They have beautiful nails/claws (ngl they really do). These mfk are so freaking versatile and well-rounded, they can do anything... No one knows as many things as they do. The real street smart. They make you think you dodged them but they have already 1827829292 other plans on how they could catch you, you have no escape sorrynotsorry 👋

Celebs examples: Rihanna, Beyoncé, Jamie Dornan

Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Baby panthers everyones wanna protect 🥺, until you realize you should have protected yourself from them lol. So frail they could break and cut you with one of their heart's sharp broken pieces. Jumping on you by jumping on your emotions. Changing moods 24/7 to confuse you even further. Shiny deeply emotional eyes on all the time. They rarely leave their lair but when they do, you know it's trouble (cause they reached an extreme). Like the moon, they catch your attention by making themselves appear all alone, until you realize they were always in their comfortable spot and only waiting for you to get trapped by the immense darkness around. 🌚

Celebs examples: Lily Rose Depp, Chadwick Boseman

Leo / 5-17-29 degrees : Grumpy cats that want it all *cute umpf sound*😾. Get out of their ways to catch their prey. Hella talented. Work so freaking hard to improve their skills you'll see them making a whole choreography while hunting. They catch so many people's attentions. Now they use that crowd as a fortress with no exits for their prey to escape 😘. But hurt their ego and they can take a looot of time to get back to hunting with some pride. They're the best at taking care of their people, they share the food (keep the best part for themselves tho lmaoo) and they're protective towards their loved ones. Truly fighters with a biig heart and of course they have a *dramatic showy hunting style* 💃

Celebs examples: Letitia Wright, Lupita Nyong'o, Helena Bonham Carter

Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Peekaboo from da green bush 😶‍🌫️. Panthers with a green thumb for growing detailed organized plans. Perfectionist predators. Calculate every millimeters, every possible outcome, to the point of overthinking It all and not even starting the plan lol. Intelligent and adaptable, quick learners. Can make you think they're weak with their bodily constitution and shy because they don't speak much. Truth is, they're studying you and their surroundings. Make the best advisors, cause they can see what's missing from the bigger picture and they usually don't initiate the hunt. Stay physically behind others' backs but are mentally ages ahead. Outsmart everyone in the end (if in good form and with their doubtful part of the brain shut lol)

Celebs examples: Halle Berry, Winona Ryder

Libra / 7-19 degrees : Graceful panthers, so poised they resemble perfect statues. And they make you believe they are that harmless...but careful not to fall for it 👀. These people don't aim directly to their prey, they get to it through others (the type to not dirty their hands lol). The glue that keeps the pack intact. They're loved by everyone, gentle smiles, kind gestures, they make sure they are pleasant to be around . Keep their outward persona all in check, constantly clean and polish their shiny fur 💅. Balanced, not too risky in their moves, they always test the waters first and adapt to the responses they get. Choose their words carefully to hit the weakest spot. Kill their prey with kindness and charisma, then offer them dessert to not feel guilty 🙃🍰

Celebs examples: Jamie Campbell Bower, Vincent Cassel, Zoe Kravitz

Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : The arm reacher distance. No, they don't have the COVID, they have the INTIMIDATION. No one wants to mess up with them. They have the blackest and thickest and shiniest fur of them all. But they rarely show their powerful moves, all they got are rumors spreading from people that SAW. If some other naive panther try to provoke these natives out of fun, they got to be prepared to suffer from Scorpio panther's psychotic fun .This is how they get the people to respect them out of fear. Sneaky and untreceable, they're the best at erasing their fingerprints. Get into their prey's mind. Predicting every little action and elaborating a plan on it. They don't like to strike right away, but prefers to take their time with it cause they enjoy playing and see their prey's reactions to their little scary games 😈. Very private and jealous, won't share their prey with anyone.

Celebs examples: Darkota Johnson, Carrie-Anne Moss

Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : Can't stay still a sec. Always get in the way of other's people lol. Two panthers are fighting for the throne? Lemme jump in real quick and make a showstopper mooove 🤸‍♀️ (by risking their lives..yeah 🤦‍♀️). *everybody gets mad (but still laugh)*. "weee everybody sorry, i thought it was match break! I am the lady holding the round sign ya know thisss". Makes mistakes but knows how to crack a joke on them. They don't usually attack intentionally, as they don't really stand cruel actions. But they could kill by mistake cause they take up so much space and are very energetic, you get in their way, you dead😂. Their big presence ,easygoing nature and funny/entertaining behaviour win people's hearts (and their prey's too 👀)

Celebs examples: Michelle Yeoh, Taylor Swift, Scarlett Johannson, Lena Headey, Al Pacino, Simone Ashley

Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Why so serious? 🤡 These people have gone through hell and back, no surprise they become the Devil. They tried them all, the bad, neutral and good strategies, they got a baggage of experience that could have either made or broken them. Always disappointed with others. Wise with a mind of a genius, but if this trait of them is neglected by people, the lack of respect could trigger them to suppress their emotions and use this detachment to manipulate others' feelings pretty well. Calm and premedited actions. They take time to kill their prey, they wanna consume them till they can't get it anymore and wanna hear them begging to give them that feeling of respect they didn't get before. Natives that people can consider too strict/inflexible (almost like tirants) if they get to rule as King/Queens panthers. (but they're just good people to whom bad things happened 🥺, lemme give you a hug 🤗)

Celebs examples: Heath Ledger, Zhang Zi-Yi, Grace Kelly, Alan Rickman, Jennifer Lawrence, Maggie Q, The Weeknd, Audrey Hepburn, Alexa Demie, Bruce Lee, Kristen Stewart

Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : Loner panthers that don't give a heck of getting to the Queen/King's panther's throne cause they're already building one of their own 😎. Making their own rules, getting their own land, initiating a whole new way of living. And then people see how cool and innovative their way is, and how strong they are to have built all of their empire alone, so they get easily influenced, and individually choose to become their plebs. And this is how they sterminate all their preys at once lmaoo. Unpredictable actions, have unique ways to hunt that may seem weird to people, but they're not afraid to show them by being themselves. This silent confidence can only gives more appreciation and genuine respect to the natives. Can get quite a lot of controversial stares too from close-minded people, but again, they just don't care 😇

Celebs examples: Zendaya, Joaquin Phoenix, Lana Del Rey, Keira Knightley, Anya-Taylor Joy

Pisces / 12-24 degrees : The forgetful predator and utopian leader. Create some fantastic plan than only can exist in an imaginary world cause gravity cannot bend to these native's thoughts unfortunately lol...or maybe it does cause they're manifestation king/queens hehe✨ . But everyone is obsessed with them even if they make a lot of mistakes. People are very very confused by these natives and Pisces panthers take this to their advantage. Manifesting their prey like this 👏...but then they don't feel like attacking them lmao... or coff coff... they were sleeping and missed it 😆. Chill around, but cannot not getting involved in the drama cause they're curious by nature. And then the drama (and so the prey too) hunts them, trying to switch the roles, giving them even more opportunities to catch what they want. Not the best at striking to the front, but will hunt you in your dreams.

Celebs examples: Kim Kardashian, Jenna Ortega, Michelle Pfeiffer, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michael Jackson, Eva Green, Johnny Depp, Maisie Williams

And you've reached the end of the post!

Thank you for staying with me 💖

I hope this post entertained you and also gave you some cool info on your placement!

Lemme know if you resonated, and if you didn't let me know equally😊 as you know, i value your feedback a lot ✨ I'm aware this asteroid is an untamed territory, so take in mind this is just my personal interpretation

As always,

I wish you all a wonderful day ahead! Be well, Yours, Linnie 🖤

( Sorry @brielledoesastrology if this took so long, i loved the suggestion of your request, and i hope this post satisfies it 😘 )

#astro notes #astro observations #asteroid panthera #asteroid astrology #astro community #astro diary #astrology notes #asteroid 4198

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hayleythesugarbowl · 6 months

Note

since you're taking requests for joey from friends, could you possibly write an angsty one-shot (with a happy ending)? i love your writing sm and i love joey so im sure it'll be perfect <3

The One With the Pie || Joey Tribbiani x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • f•r•i•e•n•d•s masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: after your crush on joey ends before it can begin, you start to move on. but maybe, just maybe, the story of you and joey isn’t over just yet

word count: 6.6k

warnings: suggestive material

a/n: thank you for this request love!! i hope you enjoy this and it’s angsty enough for u 💋 there’re two ocs in here (james + jessica) so if you don’t recognize them from the show that’s why!! also somehow i made this way longer than i intended to so sorry about that but enjoy!! <3💌🩰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Joey, stop!”

You jumped towards Joey, trying to retrieve your stolen piece of pie from him, which he was currently holding above his head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

“That pie had my name on it,” you huffed, making another jump for it.

“I don’t remember seeing a name,” he acted innocent, crumpling up a piece of paper that most definitely had your name on it.

“Oh yeah? And what is that?” You made a grab for it and he threw the paper behind him, catching your wrist.

Your heartbeat picked up because of the jumping and certainly not because of the sudden physical contact with Joey. Or, that’s what you were telling yourself.

“That is just my…grocery list.” Joey gestured at the ball of paper.

“You don’t buy your groceries,” you countered, “so nice try.”

“Curse you, Chandler.”

You shook his hand off your wrist and gripped his forearm for leverage as you tried to twist to grab the pie again.

“So you admit, my name was on that pie?”

He smiled. “Nope. Still no. And unlabeled leftovers are fair game.”

“Not when they’re from my fridge,” Monica walked over to you and Joey, pinching him and grabbing the pie. She handed it back to you.

“Ow, Mon,” he rubbed at his arm, “I was going to give it back. I was just borrowing it.”

“Yeah, and I had it under control.” you realized your hand was still around Joey’s arm and you quickly put a hand on your hip.

Monica watched the movement and then rolled her eyes at both of you.

“And you’d better make sure you didn’t get crumbs all over my floor with that,” she called as she walked back towards her bedroom.

You’d been staying with Monica and Rachel while you looked for a place. You appreciated her sharing her apartment with you but you couldn’t say you didn’t miss being able to put your feet on the furniture and drink milk out of the carton.

As Monica disappeared from view, Rachel walked out of her room in a bathrobe.

“Hey (Y/n), hey Joey,” she said on her way to the fridge, “Wait a minute, what are you doing here, Joe?”

“Stopped by before my audition to eat my leftover pie,” he said. You elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow, ok (Y/n)’s pie. Happy?” He looked at you.

“Very,” you said, satisfied.

“Well, good luck at your audition,” Rachel said, looking in the refrigerator.

“Thanks,” Joey said, sitting down at the table, before standing up again quickly. “Oh right, my audition! I’d better get going. Last time I was late to one of these the casting director made me pay.”

“What’d they do?” You asked.

“Made me give her 10 bucks for wasting her time. Like I had 10 bucks with me,” Joey said as he walked towards the door.

“Break a leg! You’re going to kill it,” you called after him.

“Thanks (Y/n),” He kissed you on the cheek before leaving and you watched him go, trailing a hand over your cheek where Joey’s lips had been.

“You’re so obvious,” Rachel said pouring milk in her cereal.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you told her, as if she didn’t know that you’d been crushing on him for the past few weeks. Rachel just raised an eyebrow at you.

You hadn’t known what had changed. You’d been friends with Joey for nearly a year. But sometime recently you had started to see him differently and you wanted more and more to be something more than just friends.

“You say that every time,” Monica said, obviously overhearing and walking back into the room. “And so I’ll tell you what I tell you every time. Tell him.”

You had been avoiding that part for a while. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to make a move—you knew you’d have to at some time if you wanted your relationship to progress any further—but it was more that you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with Joey. You valued it so much and you couldn’t bear to make things weird between you if he didn’t feel the same way. And you doubted he did. He’d never exactly expressed interest in you.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Monica continued.

Now it was your turn to raise an eyebrow at her.

“Ok I get it, a lot,” she said, “But what’s love without a little risk.”

You preferred not to risk anything, thank you. But she was right. You knew it. You ran a hand through your hair as you thought. “I don’t know, Mon.”

“Come on sweetie,” Rachel added, “Joey would be lucky to have you. You’re sweet and funny and kind. Heck, if he doesn’t take you I will.” She smiled at you.

You laughed and gave in. “You really think I should tell him?

“Yes,” they said at the same time and you laughed.

“But only when you’re ready,” Rachel added, putting a hand on your arm.

Were you ready? You supposed you never really would be.

You steeled yourself, “Alright, I’ll talk to him.”

You walked towards the door.

“Honey?” Rachel called, “Love the enthusiasm but Joey’s not home.”

You remembered the audition. “Right,” you walked back towards the kitchen, “tomorrow.”

You couldn’t say you were sorry about the delay. It would at least give you more time to think about what to say. You sat down at the table with Rachel and Monica and began to peel a banana, thinking about what tomorrow might bring.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

You knocked on the door of Joey’s apartment. You weren’t exactly ready, but it was now or never, you thought, as you waited for Joey to answer the door.

You were greeted by Chandler instead. You let out a breath.

“Oh, I thought you were going to be Joey,” you told him.

“No need to look so disappointed,” Chandler said, “Good evening to you too.”

“I’m not disappointed,” you told him, “I just—is Joey home?” You asked.

“You know, if I had a dollar every time a girl said that to me when opening this door…”

You shook your head, smiling, “I just have something I need to ask him.”

“He’s out right now but he should be back soon. Can I take a message?”

“This is kinda something that needs to be said in person,” you said, playing with a strand of your hair.

Chandler led you in to the apartment and you sat down on the couch.

“So how did Joey’s audition go?” You asked Chandler, trying to make small talk so you wouldn’t die of anticipation while you waited for Joey to get home.

“Not great,” he admitted, “Something about apple juice and a wild parrot which I’m assuming means he didn’t get the part.”

You laughed despite your nerves. You didn’t even want to know what Chandler meant by that.

“I thought maybe he was at a callback,” you said, thinking aloud, “but never mind.”

“No, Joey has a date,” Chandler said. “Some hot girl he met at the audition, so I guess it wasn’t a total waste.”

You stopped listening. Hot girl? No. This couldn’t be happening. Joey was out right now with some beautiful woman and you were waiting in his apartment ready to confess your love for him.

“(Y/n), are you ok?” Chandler must have noticed your expression because he looked concerned.

“I have to go,” you told him in a hurry before bouncing up and walking towards the door. It was only then when you heard footsteps approaching and the sound of Joey’s voice as he talked to someone—presumably his date. You ran the other way back towards Chandler.

“You have to hide me,” you gripped his shirt in your hands.

Chandler looked absolutely baffled. You didn’t have time for this.

“Now!”

“Um, my room,” Chandler said as he hurried you in there.

“If he asks just say you have a girl in here,” you called out to him in a whisper.

“He’s not going to believe that!” Chandler whisper-yelled back to you before you started to shut the door quickly.

“You’ll think of something,” you said back. “Tell me when the coast is clear.”

You left Chandler looking lost in the living room. Safely behind his door you relaxed but only a little. You would just wait until Joey went to the bathroom or something and then Chandler would sneak you out. No harm done, right? You would feel sad later.

You heard Joey enter the apartment and you could just make out his and Chandler’s voices.

“So how was it?” Chandler asked him.

“Amazing! Jessica’s great! She stopped to say hi to someone she knew down the hall but she’ll be here any second.”

“Well that’s fantastic, Joe,” Chandler said.

“What’s fantastic?” You heard a female voice and your hearing sharpened.

“You are,” you heard Joey tell her smoothly.

“No you’re fantastic,” she said back.

You were going to be sick. Every word they said was like a punch to the gut. And you didn’t mind admitting that you mocked Joey’s date behind the closed door like any self-respecting person would.

“Well, I’m glad you two had a good time,” Chandler said, “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll just be getting back to my room.”

You heard Chandler’s footsteps grow closer to you. They were both silent for a moment and you strained to hear. You leaned forwards and knocked an alarm clock off the desk. It crashed to the floor and you might’ve been fine if it didn’t begin going off loudly. You cursed Chandler under your breath for buying an alarm clock that made rooster sounds.

“Chandler, do you have someone in there?” You heard Joey say.

“W-why would you think that?”

“Yeah you’re right,” he said, laughing it off, “Like you would have a girl in your room that I don’t know about.”

“Yep, that’s me,” Chandler said wryly, “alone forever.”

Chandler opened the door just a crack and then stepped into his room.

“You better pretend to be my date next time we do this,” he whisper-yelled.

“You better have a normal alarm clock next time we do this!” You threw your arms up.

“It makes me think of the farm!” he said, indignantly.

“You’ve never lived on a farm!”

“Whatever,” Chandler gave up, “You can go now, Joey’s in his room with Jessica.”

You nodded and felt relieved as you made your way to the door. You only realized what this meant when you heard Joey and Jessica in the other room.

And from the sound of it, they were certainly enjoying the second part of their date.

And with that the reality of the evening crashed down on you. You and Joey weren’t going to happen. He was clearly interested in whomever this woman was and your plans for confessing your feelings were obviously ruined.

You sat down on Chandler’s bed and put your head in your hands—and over your ears so you didn’t have to hear what was going on in Joey’s room.

Chandler sat down next to you and placed an arm around you.

“I know,” is all he said as he rubbed your shoulders.

“How do—” You started, sniffing. You hadn’t actually told Chandler why you were here to see Joey. He ignored it.

“His loss,” Chandler said and you managed a weak smile as you leaned your head against his shoulder.

This was so not how you imagined this evening going.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“…and then they did it for the rest of the night and Chandler and I watched a movie,” you told Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe as you took a sip of your coffee.

All three of you were at Central Perk and you were filling them in on the events of the past night.

Which had been, all things considered, fairly miserable. You appreciated Chandler hanging out with you all night and at least the volume of the movie drowned out anything else…almost. But you still hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Joey and the other girl.

“I’m sorry honey,” Rachel said, “is there anything we can do to help?”

“Get rid of Jessica?” You mumbled sarcastically.

“Well—” Phoebe started, an inspired look in her eye.

You interrupted her, “I’m kidding, Pheebs. But I appreciate the support.”

You sighed. You were just going to have to get on with your life and pretend nothing had ever been different. Pretend you didn’t want Joey every time that you saw him and be happy for him and his new relationship.

“Well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea,” Phoebe said.

“And if I don’t want any other fish?” You said, looking down at your coffee mug.

“You could always talk to Joey about it,” Monica said. “I mean, maybe if he knew how you felt—”

“Ok, don’t look,” Rachel said, watching out the window. “But Joey’s coming inside.”

Your stomach flipped. For all you told yourself about moving on and pretending, you weren’t sure if you were ready to see Joey yet. What if it was too painful or you were to obvious? You paused, contemplating how weird it was for you to be nervous to see Joey. You had been friends for so long and you weren’t used to it.

No time to think about that now, you told yourself as you jumped out of your seat and turned around. You saw Joey walk through the door and you backed up helplessly.

“Hey guys,” he said, seeing all of you.

“Hey Joey,” Phoebe said, “It’s great to see you but, uh, Monica and Rachel and I were just about to go to our…knitting class. Right?”

What was she doing?

“Right,” Monica said, elbowing Rachel.

“Oh yes, and we’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon,” Rachel said, understanding on her face.

They all walked towards the door and you stared after them hopelessly.

“Talk to him,” Monica mouthed and you bit your lip.

“Knitting?” Joey asked.

“Yeah, well you know how I like the smell of…yarn,” Phoebe fumbled, “We’ll see you guys later.”

And with that, her and the other two girls were gone leaving you alone with Joey. Well, alone aside from the dozen or so other customers oblivious to your awkwardness as you tried to find words…any words.

Joey sat down at one of the tables and you sat on the edge of the couch a few feet away.

“That was weird,” Joey looked thoughtful, “Does yarn have a smell?”

You shrugged and Joey kept talking.

“Anyway, I’m starving, do you want anything?”

“No, thank you, I just ate.”

A lie. You hoped your rumbling stomach didn’t deceive you.

Joey ordered and then returned to his table, “So (Y/n), what’s new with you?”

“Um, nothing really,” you said, “You?”

You regretted it immediately when you heard his answer.

Joey ran a hand through his hair, smiling, “Well, I met this really great girl the other day and I’m actually waiting for her right now. We’re supposed to go bowling. I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

“Oh, that’s awesome.”

Was your voice usually this high?

“I’d love to meet her but, I have to go,” you checked your invisible watch, “now, actually. I’m meeting some friends.”

Another lie. You had to get out of here before you were stuck meeting—

“Jessica!”

Joey hurried over to her and kissed her on the cheek. You bit the inside of your cheek and watched as Joey brought her over to you.

“Jessica this is my friend (Y/n)…”

Friend.

“…and (Y/n), this is my girlfriend Jessica.”

Girlfriend.

You watched Joey smiling and looking expectantly between the two of you. You should be supportive of him. That’s what a good friend would do.

So you inhaled and said, “Hi Jessica, it’s so nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Jessica said, pushing her blonde locks behind her ear. “Joey and I really should be going but I’d love to get to know each other sometime.”

“Definitely,” you said and Joey looked thrilled at the two of you talking.

“See you later (Y/n),” Joey said and then more quietly, “wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” you almost whispered as you watched Joey and his girlfriend walk away, his hand in hers, him leaning slightly down to hear something that she was saying into his ear.

And you wanted to wish him luck, you really did. But as you watched Joey walk away with the Jessica, all you could think about was how desperately you wanted that to be you.

You weren’t paying much attention to what you were doing as you picked up Joey’s forgotten drink order and scone.

You turned around to go sit down and crashed into something—or, someone it seemed—on your way there. The coffee went flying and you fell to the ground.

“Are you ok?” You heard a male voice say.

You looked up and saw a tall man staring down at you, coffee dripping down his front and an arm out to help you up. You took it and dusted yourself off.

“I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you hurried out.

“My fault entirely,” he said.

“I’ll buy you a new shirt,” you said.

“I didn’t like it anyway,” he waved it off. “You did me a favor honestly. Don’t tell Aunt Ruth.”

You laughed despite yourself, and picked up the mug and scone from the floor.

“I’m (Y/n),” you said, filling the silence.

“James,” he shot back.

“Scone?” You offered him the pastry awkwardly.

“Sorry, he said, “but my parents always said never to take floor-scones from strangers. Even very beautiful strangers.”

You found yourself blushing and your eyes widened. What was happening?

“But I’d be happy to take you out for real food sometime. If that’s something you would be interested in?”

You played with the fabric of your shirt. You immediately thought of Joey bit stopped yourself.

Why should you be thinking of Joey right now? He clearly wasn’t interested in you, so why waste time on something that clearly wasn’t going to happen. Maybe you should take this man up on his offer and go on a date with him. He was funny and nice and had called you beautiful.

“Ok, this is getting embarrassing,” he backed up, “Let me down easy, ok?”

You laughed, “I would love to go out with you sometime.”

“Not to sound super eager or anything,” he said, “but do you wanna do something now?”

“Your shirt?” You prompted.

“Oh, I’m making it a style now,” he said. “I’m totally adding trendsetter to my resume.”

“Alright then, let’s do something,” you said, feeling better than you had in the past couple days as James led you out of the door of Central Perk.

Maybe this was just what you needed.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“Are you sure he’s coming?”

“He’ll be here any second, I promise.”

You answered Phoebe and took a deep breath as you sat at Central Perk with your friends, who were all eagerly waiting for your boyfriend to arrive so they could meet him.

Your boyfriend. You pondered the word. If someone has told you a week ago that you’d be seeing someone, you’d have laughed in their face. And no one probably would have, because your friends were just as surprised as you were. They all knew how you felt about Joey.

And until you met James you hadn’t thought it possible that you would get over Joey at all. Or at least not for a very long while.

But one date with James had turned into seven and you were actually happy. You had learned a lot about him and you had plenty in common. He was so easy to be around that it made you forget about Joey and Jessica and the relationship that would never be.

Almost. You still felt bitter at the thought of them together, but you tried to push those feelings aside and focus on this relationship. You reminded yourself that you should be over Joey.

You saw a glimpse of a familiar flannel through the window of the coffee shop.

��Alright everyone be quiet, here he comes,” you said.

And you were over Joey, you told yourself, as you watched the amazing guy you were dating walk through the door and catch your eye, smiling at you.

You hoped, you added as you looked over at Joey finishing off a blueberry muffin. He shot you a thumbs up and you gave him a weak smile back.

“Hey (Y/n)!” James, your boyfriend of exactly three weeks, said. “Everyone.”

A chorus of ‘hey’ and ‘it’s nice to meet you’ and ‘Well, now I know why (Y/n)’s dating you. You know, for the free firewood’ —that being Chandler—followed as you made the introductions.

You rolled your eyes at Chandler. James was an accountant, and not a lumberjack. He had talked about his love of numbers on multiple occasions.

“It’s so great to finally see you,” Monica shook his hand, “(Y/n) talks about you all the time.”

Did you? You supposed you did. You hadn’t let any of them meet James at first so your descriptions of your dates were all they had to go on. And if you exaggerated his perfection than it was just because you really liked him and wanted all your friends to like him. You shook off the thought that some of it might be to convince yourself.

Because on paper James was perfect. And you really enjoyed spending time with him. But—

You glanced over at Joey again.

No. He had his relationship and you had yours. It was better this way. Because he was still seeing Jessica and it sounded like they were hitting it off.

And if some of your gushing about James was for Joey’s benefit than so be it.

“All good things I hope,” James answered and you were brought back to the present.

Monica turned away and mouthed ‘he’s hot’ to you enthusiastically. You rolled your eyes at her.

“So, what do you do?” Ross asked James as the latter walked over and sat down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“I’m an accountant,” he said.

Chandler passed a five dollar bill to Ross, mumbling something about “being sure he was a lumberjack”.

Rachel elbowed Chandler and as he rubbed his arm she smiled warmly at James and said, “Well, any friend of (Y/n)’s is a friend of ours.”

“Which hasn’t happened yet because all of (Y/n)’s friends are sitting on this couch!” Phoebe said, teasing. She wasn’t wrong.

“Well, you all seem really great but (Y/n) and I have to run. We have a movie to get to.” James stood up and you moved with him.

You said goodbye to everyone, taking James’s hand. On your way out you risked a glance at Joey. You couldn’t help it. He had been so quiet throughout your whole introduction. You didn’t know why, but you almost thought he was disappointed? Or maybe just bored? Probably wishing he was with Jessica right now.

Once you thought of it you wished you hadn’t because you felt awful all over again and you willed your cheeks not to heat. You sighed. Now, Joey was looking down, running a finger around the top of his empty coffee mug. He caught you looking at him and you tried to play it off by waving. Pretending you hadn’t just been staring at him. He gave you an almost too enthusiastic wave back and you just turned around and kept walking towards the door, away from Joey and towards your boyfriend who was waiting for you.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“I’m just saying, if pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza then why is it on pizza?” Joey said, throwing down his cards on the table.

“You got me there,” Chandler said, rolling his eyes. “And I fold.”

You stifled a laugh as you examined the cards in your hand. You, Joey, Chandler, and James were all seated around Joey and Chandler’s kitchen table playing a game of poker.

The whole thing had been James’s idea, and at first you weren’t sure that it was a good one. You’d been doing a lot of different activities that he had planned with your friends lately as he tried to get to know them better.

You appreciated that he wanted to be friends with your friends and all of his efforts were actually adorable. You had already been with Phoebe to her grandma’s together, went with Ross to his museum, and last week you had gone shopping with Monica and Rachel—and James somehow went home with an armful of fabric swatches, talking about undertones.

But this was different. It was getting easier and easier to be around Joey as time passed and weeks went by and you were both in relationships, but things were still a bit awkward, on your part at least.

But it did seem like Joey was…distant lately as well. It was probably just the fact that he was spending a lot of time with his girlfriend and you scolded yourself for worrying about it. Right now you were just friends playing a game of poker. You looked over and James and found him trying to look at your cards.

“No peeking,” you told James as he looked over your shoulder, so not discreetly.

“Maybe I just wanted to kiss you,” he covered, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours.

“Full house,” you whispered to him, flashing him your cards and he smiled down at you.

Chandler reached his arms out to Joey and pursed his lips, “Show me your cards?”

Everyone laughed and Joey aimed his cards away from Chandler.

“Hey, is it my fault for wanting to kiss my girlfriend?” James acted innocent. “Since when is that cheating?”

He put an arm around you and you kissed him on the cheek.

“House rules,” Joey said.

James shrugged, “He didn’t say we couldn’t do this.”

As he grabbed your hand you heard Joey’s chair slide on the hard-wood floor.

“I’ll be right back guys, I’m going to go get us something to eat. Play this hand without me.”

You watched him leave the room and Chandler called after him.

“But you don’t have any money with you!”

“I’ll go to Monica’s,” he called back.

“You most certainly will not,” Monica said and you turned around to find her standing in the doorway of her apartment. “And your girlfriend’s waiting for you. Why in my apartment, I don’t know.”

“Oh, right,” Joey said sheepishly, “Can I use your apartment? I told her I’d be over there. It’s important.”

“Joey!” You heard Monica yell before Chandler got up and shut the door and their voices became muffled.

You tried not to think about what important thing Joey could mean. You pushed thoughts of him and Jessica away and reminded yourself that you didn’t care.

“Well,” Chandler said, “I think I’m out too before I lose anymore money and then who’ll pay the rent?”

“Yeah, I should get going. I promised my sister I’d help her clean out her basement,” James headed towards the door and Chandler raised an eyebrow at him.

“Hey,” James defended, “If you’d seen my sister’s house you’d understand why it’s a two person job. Or, a team of movers’ job. Bye, (Y/n).”

He kissed you quickly and then left the apartment, leaving you with Chandler. It felt eerily like a little over a month ago when you had gone there to ask Joey out.

“So, you’ve been seeing James for a while now,” Chandler prompted.

“Yep,” you said, “He’s really great.”

Chandler stepped towards you hesitantly, “So you and Joe?”

“What about me and Joe?” You kept your voice even, “He’s in a relationship and so am I. We’re both happy and that’s that.”

“Well—” Chandler started, but was interrupted by Joey sighing as he entered his apartment.

“Glad that’s over with,” Joey said.

“Did you let her down easy?” Chandler asked.

“As easy as I could. And then she started crying and—this is why I just don’t call people back,” he sat down on the couch. “Breaking up with people in person is hard.”

“What? You broke up with Jessica?” You could hardly believe it. “I thought you guys were so happy together.”

Joey looked over at you, “Well, you know, we just didn’t have that much in common.”

You were both silent for a moment.

“Hey,” Chandler announced, “This is awkward! So I’m just going to...”

He ran out the door and you cursed him under your breath.

“Weird,” Joey mumbled and you sat down opposite from Joey as you processed this new information.

Joey wasn’t seeing anyone. You stopped yourself before you could go any further. No. You were in a good relationship and Joey had just got out of one. Now was not a good time. And just because he wasn’t dating Jessica didn’t mean he all of a sudden wanted to date you. And you were over him. Right?

“So you and James are really serious now,” Joey said.

“Yeah, I guess,” you responded. You hadn’t really thought of it like that, but you suppose technically you were.

“Well, I’m really happy for you,” he said, “He’s a lucky guy.”

It doesn’t mean anything, you told yourself, he’s just being a good friend.

“Well, I’m sorry about you and Jessica.”

“Don’t be,” Joey stood up, “It wasn’t meant to be.”

He took a step towards you.

“Do you ever wonder if anything’s actually ‘meant to be’? Or is it just our decisions that lead us places?” You pondered.

“I think if something is meant to happen than you’ll realize it and make the decisions that lead you there,” Joey said, taking another step closer to you.

“Really?” You asked, “You don’t think something could be staring you in the face and you don’t recognize the signs?”

“I think in a way you always know,” Joey said, more sincere now. “Even if you don’t realize it until it’s too late.”

You were saved from working out the meaning of that and this whole conversation by the phone ringing and Joey picking it up. His face got dark before he covered it up and smiled at you.

“It’s James.”

You walked over and took the phone from him.

“Hello?”

His voice was muffled but he sounded intense when he said, “Hey, (Y/n), I need to talk to you. Are you free…now?”

“Um, yeah, I can be at Central Perk in five minutes.”

“Sounds good,” he said, “I’ll see you there. Love you.”

You hesitated and he hung up. Joey looked to you, obviously curious about what that was all about.

“He says he needs to talk to me and to meet him in a few minutes.”

You headed towards the door and Joey handed you your coat.

“See you later,” you said and he shut the door behind you as you stepped out into the hall.

What could James possibly want?

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

“James is leaving,” you announced.

You hung your coat on the coat rack of Monica’s apartment. All of your friends were lounging around in the living room but they rushed over towards you at this declaration and you held out your arms.

“No, I’m fine, really.”

In truth, you were too fine. More fine than you should be, after dating James for the better part of a month and a half. Which wasn’t a long time, but you had gotten to know him well and you really liked him.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Rachel asked, putting a hand on your amt.

“Yes,” you reiterated, “James was offered a new job in California and he is going to take it. It’s all very sudden, but I’m ok. And technically, he gave me the option. To either stay long distance or end it now. I’m…still thinking it over.”

You knew you should be more affected. But you felt numb to the sudden departure of your boyfriend. You knew you should be upset, and you were sad at the loss of him in your life. But it was more that you were going to miss spending time with him as a friend rather than as a boyfriend.

You didn’t pretend not to know why that was.

Either way, you still had to decide if you wanted to stay with him or not. He had left the decision up to you, saying that he’d be fine with whatever decision you made, and had told you to take all the time you need.

You told him you’d call him tonight. You didn’t tell him why you were hesitating to answer him. Because you wanted to stay with him. But you couldn’t make yourself say it, because what if you were missing other opportunities. Your conversation with Joey earlier had made you think and you couldn’t help but ponder what if.

Not that you had much confidence in that. Joey wasn’t even here right now, you realized.

You were brought back to the present. “So what are you going to tell him?” Ross asked.

“I don’t know yet,” you sighed, “I suppose I have no reason not to stay with him, even though we’ll be so far apart.”

That was the sensible thing, right? Stay with the great guy that wanted to be with you even miles and miles apart. You needed to stop focusing on what probably couldn’t be and focus on what already was.

“If you’re sure,” Monica said. “We’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“I’m sure he’ll send you lots of free wood from California,” Chandler said, and you chuckled.

“Phoebe?” Rachel furrowed her brow, “Are you alright?”

Phoebe stood over by the couch. She was biting her lip and looked like she was stopping herself from saying something.

“Phoebe?” You asked, “What is it?”

“Oh, it’s just—” she started, “No, I can’t tell you! It wouldn’t be right!”

“Tell me,” you said, walking over to her.

She backed up, “No!”

“Phoebe!”

“I can’t!”

“Phoebe!”

“Joey’s in love with you! Ok? There I said it,” She sat down on the couch and looked like she had been wanting to say that for a long time.

You felt like you had been turned upside down.

“He didn’t say anything because of you and James and, you know, but he loves you, (Y/n). And I know I shouldn’t be telling you and I promised him I wouldn’t but—” she stood up again, “I know you love him and before you make this decision you just need to know that.”

You couldn’t even begin to comprehend this. Joey loved you? That couldn’t be true. Phoebe must be mistaken and—

Joey walked into the apartment. You saw your friends look around at each other.

“You love me?” You mumbled barely able to believe it.

Joey’s smiling face went pale and filled with horror as he backed up slowly.

“Oops,” Phoebe mumbled and Joey glanced once at her before hurrying out the door and down the hall.

“Joey, wait!” You shut the door behind you and caught up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face you.

“Look (Y/n), I never meant to—”

“You love me?” You asked again.

“(Y/n), you have to believe me when I say—”

You stepped so you looked Joey directly in the eye.

“No, Joey,” you whispered, “I need to know, do you love me?

“I can’t love you, (Y/n),” his voice raised with every word, “I can’t love you. And I can’t love you so much that it hurts to pretend that I don’t….that I do…that I…”

He looked up, confused, “Oh, you get the point! And every time I see you with James I’m reminded of how I can’t have you.”

Your conversation about signs and realizations came back to you. Your heart stopped beating. When you found words your voice came out shaky and breathless. “But…Jessica?”

“Jessica and I broke up,” he said, taking a step closer to you. “because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I just realized that too late.”

“And I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Joey continued, “I never planned on telling you any of this…”

He looked up at you and you tried to discern the expression on his face.

“Just forget I said anything, ok?” Joey said looking pained, “I hope you and James are happy together, I really do. Just, forget it.”

He moved to walk past you and you started talking trust to stop him from leaving.

“James is an amazing guy,” you said, your words coming out slowly, “he’s smart and thoughtful and attractive—”

“Is this supposed to be helping?” Joey asked, turning around.

“What I mean is, James is perfect,” you said, “but he’ll never be you.”

Joey’s eyes snapped to yours and you continued, “I only started dating James because I was trying to get over you. James is moving away and he left the decision with me to end or keep our relationship.”

You stepped closer to Joey. “So say the word. Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me and I’ll leave him and be yours.”

Joey closed the distance between you, fire burning in his eyes. “I love you (Y/n). God, I love you so much.”

And he kissed you. He kissed you like he had been waiting a thousand years. He backed you up against the wall and his hands went to your hair as you kissed him back. You threw your arms around his neck and took in the beauty of this moment.

It was passionate and raw and everything you had been hoping for and more.

Joey pulled away from you, reaching to brush the hair back from your face.

“Wow, (Y/n).”

“Yeah,” you breathed. “I guess I have Phoebe to thank for this.”

“You’re welcome!” You heard Phoebe’s muffled voice from the other side of the door.

You smiled at Joey, rolling your eyes and walking over to open the apartment door.

You turned the knob and all of your friends faces greeted you as they scrambled away from the door.

“Run!” Chandler yelled, “Scatter! She can’t catch all of us! It was Monica’s idea!”

“Seriously Chandler?” Monica smacked him in the arm.

You laughed.

“We’re just so happy for you two,” Rachel said. You tried to convey your gratitude to her—to all of them—for their friendship.

“I’m happy,” you said. You felt giddy in a way that you hadn’t in a long time—that you had never felt with James.

“We knew you’d get together,” Phoebe nodded. “My psychic totally saw it coming.”

“And we were only listening at the door for a little bit,” Ross added.

Joey put his arm around you and you leaned in to him. You couldn’t even pretend to be offended, you were just glad to be here in Joey’s arms, surrounded by your friends.

“What do you say we go get a bite or something?” Joey asked you.

You nodded as he walked out the door with you and down the hall once again.

“How about pie?” You teased, remembering your almost-stolen leftovers.

“My treat,” Joey answered in agreement. “Have all the pie you want!”

“Will it be mine this time?” You teased back.

“All yours,” Joey said, stopping to look down at you softly. His eyes sparkled as he said,

“Just like me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ i hope you enjoyed this, i love writing for the friends characters so much!! you can find my other friends fics on my friends masterlist. as always feedback is appreciated and i hope you have a lovely week!! 🍓🪩

#joey tribbiani x reader #joey tribbiani #friends #f•r•i•e•n•d•s #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #x reader

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aqueeracademic · 1 year

Text

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 6:

season 2, episode 2, “Nocturne”:

TW: discusses d*ath of a child

- this episode is all kinds of fucked up so brace yourselves for what i’m about to say

- little kids are creepy as shit don’t come for me

- jakes sitting in the chair closest to morse

- no shot he’s actually paying attention to the sports game

- i missed this show aww

- lucy boynton AND anya taylor joy in this episode is so wild

- i understand he’s dying but there was no reason to mess up priceless artifacts w his blood tbh

- once again NO SUBTITLES so i have 0 clue what thursday is saying

- morse’s panic™️ when joan jokes about going on a date

- morse doesn’t know anything about sports which means he’s gay

- but he DOES recognize indian style daggers

- morse likes bugs (i, too, am autistic)

- strange <33333333333

- i feel really bad for this girl given that her uncle is dead and all but she really needs to reconsider her dye job

- i love lucy boynton but this character makes me want to pull my hair out

- morse connecting w the Weird™️ girl at the school is smth that can be so personal

- “this is a very happy school” girl r u tryna be suspicious?????

- i know that this is a serious tv show but i was rooting for it to be an actual ghost the entire time

- them talking about morse is so 😐

- like they’re RIGHT but they shouldn’t say it

- “snuggle down spit spot” ok didn’t realize mary poppins was present in this episode

- lowkey this episode is scary as shit and i’m tired of pretending it isn’t

- don’t try and tell me u weren’t scared watching this

- debryn and morse!

- perfectly unbroken eye contact this entire scene

- try and name and single person morse is more comfortable around you can’t

- this museum curator is sooooooooooo

- if i speak.

- morse lying about being interested in football just to please jakes is so crazy to me

- literally the definition of pretending to like something for a crush

- frazil supremacy

- “a feeling of” -dramatic ass pause- “dread.”

- brother? just say it?

- monica 🥰🥰🥰

- every girl in this episode has absolutely atrocious hair i’m living for it (not u martha ur perfect)

- opening a girls school in a mansion famed for a gruesome and unsolved murder is perhaps a terrible idea and they should have thought twice about it

- thursdays tie is so tight wtf is he doing

- morse is obviously gorgeous but there are some angles where he’s so stunning it makes me sick

- the county police are so 🤮

- morse guessing immediately it was a prank and being shot down despite being right is 😐😐😐

- thursday will defend morse to the ends of the earth

- lady has a cane AND a broken arm she needs to catch a break

- morse just stealing the book is wild i would be so mad

- this lady telling him about the ghost and leading him to where she saw it and then insisting he don’t go there is so weird

- like don’t talk about potential evidence of an intruder and then tell the COP to not go up there

- can u guess whether i believe in ghosts yet?

- PLOT TWIST I DO

- the face he made when he saw it was a bible was so fucking funny

- bro was 🫤

- PLEASE why is this episode so scary

- had to turn all the damn lights on in my room

- “morse says he saw a child u can take him at his word”

- GO THURSDAY GO

- morse in a wife beater

- why tf didn’t he close his door all the way if he was gonna start taking clothes off

- look at his freckles i’m so sick

- “i got a mate over at county says u saw something”

- this translates directly to “i have a friend at the department you were teamed up with today and i asked him about you because i’m in love with you”

- i forgot how long these episodes are

- these americans are so fucking sweet i want justice for them asap

- it’s time for me to confess that i actually don’t understand a single case in this show

- i never understand the solution tbh

- i’m j watching bc it’s pretty

- thursday’s son asking morse if they were “going to do it tonight” and morse getting absolutely terrified

- “gonna do what” 😨😨

- babe calm down

- had to switch to the tv bc i cannot understand a word thursday is saying

- need the captioning

- jakes just smiling at morse while watching him walk away is so 💅

- this girl using the word “breeding” when referring to building a family definitely suggests a little fruitiness i fear

- sexy curator taking his glasses off seductively to look at morse™️

- the one thing this episode got right was how shit morse is with women

- them realizing it’s joan on the date is so fucking funny

- “where would you like your ashes scattered?” (morse doesn’t believe in burials?????)

- it is so bizarre to me that this teacher would be showering anywhere near a classroom and even more bizarre that she’s walking the hallway in a nightie and barefoot

- how does she think gently tapping the window is gonna get his attention when he’s already halfway across the field???

- this is why all the women die in horror movies

- joan literally saying they should kiss and him being like “that would never happen bc coffee is gross” is so real of him

- her lashing out insanely at the girl playing the piano and then being like “what’s happening to us” like you fucking psychopath that was ALL YOU who is “us”????

- “they were of their time” = racist

- “all women together? it’s against nature” sir what the fuck do u mean by that

- this episode is not nearly gay enough for my tastes 🫤

- STOP WHY AM I SCARED

- him thinking it was bunty and being upset about it makes me physically sick

- if you pay attention to jakes during the scene they’re discussing how the little girl got killed you’ll cry just like i did!

- his reaction to it is so visceral

- “gently, please” FINAL STRAW

- debryn fully relying on morse to solve the case is so personal

- the way that morse is spurred by debryn’s faith in him???

- morse has been awake for more than 36 hours how is that even possible

- morse is so good for telling bunty it wasn’t her fault and insisting she believe him

- morse absolutely LOVES it when the heterosexuals are at fault for something

- “haven’t you ever been lonely?” and then the camera focusing on morse ILL BE SICK

- jakes also absolutely loves blaming the hets

- “and you didn’t think to offer that up before now?” 😑

- get him!

- an entire phone call to a police station was MISSED because morse had an Epiphany™️ and never answered

- the way shaun evans has to deliver the explanation monologue 4-5 times in a row perfectly?? THATS acting

- they are driving WAYYYYY TOOOOO SLOWWWWWWW

- guys there is a murderer in the house RIGHT. NOW.

- go faster.

- ok i lied earlier this episode makes sense

- but most of the time i have 0 clue what’s going on

- i also lied when i said the curator was sexy he’s a murderer so i hate him and he’s gross

- maud being the only child who didn’t know who he was and also the only child who was a victim of him is so fucking sickening

- “don’t mind me, just make sure the girls are alright.” jakes i love you

- how did that fall take Black out but not kill morse??? is morse indestructible?

- i’m never gonna recover from the knowledge that the surviving child was blamed for the muders and hidden away because she had Down syndrome

- episode gets a 7/10 from me for being really good but not gay at all

#i’m back babey!#thank you all for your patience #we are gonna knock this shit out #because it’s #pride month #doing it for the #gays #and that’s it #endeavour #endeavour itv #endeavour morse #morse #itv endeavour

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anitosoul · 3 years

Text

tripreport.015: Head Cheerleader

feminine energy ✨

Key Inspirations

Comedy shows (Activity)

Rachel Sennott (Comedian)

Pom Pom Squad – Death of a Cheerleader (Music Album)

Early 2000’s R&B (Music Genre)

Late 2000’s Pop Punk (Music Genre)

The current wave of cool indie girl rockers (Music Artists)

Brandy – “The Boy Is Mine” (Song)

Roller skating (Activity)

Nail salons (Activity)

2021 Pride Celebration (Activity)

Outdoor concerts (Activity)

Head Cheerleader Tracklist A-Side

The Supremes – You Can’t Hurry Love

TLC – No Scrubs

Coco & Clair Clair – Pop Star

Yvette Cason – Cash Play

Caroline Polachek – Bunny Is a Rider

Kim Petras – I Don’t Want It At All

Olivia Rodrigo – good 4 u

Brandy, Monica – The Boy Is Mine

Carole King – It’s Too Late

Soccer Mommy – Your Dog

Tkay Maidza – Cashmere

Billie Eilish – I Didn’t Change My Number

Banoffee – Idiot

Head Cheerleader Tracklist B-Side

Porridge Radio, Clarence Clarity – Pop Song (Clarence Clarity Remix)

Pom Pom Squad – Head Cheerleader

Paramore – Misery Business

WILLOW, Travis Barker – Gaslight

Doja Cat – Need to Know

Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know

Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Boi

Mannequin Pussy – Perfect

SASAMI – Sorry Entertainer

Slow Pulp – At It Again

Snail Mail – Full Control

Amber Mark – Heart-Shaped Box

Clairo – Blouse

Nina Simone – Ain’t Got No – I Got Life (Live at Philharmonic Hall, New York, NY – October 1969)

July was a continuation of the discombobulated vibes of June, but this time without as much of the mystique. We were fully in the throes of HGS, trying to figure out if it was a marathon, sprint, or why it even felt like a race in the first place. The end of June into the beginning of July was full of energy, including a jam packed stretch between Pride Weekend and 4th of July. It was the peak of the intensity: I had been hosting people in the city since June, and that week I had my partner at the time and best friend visiting. Celebrating Pride in Washington Square Park was momentous; the scene felt like history in the making. WSP is always busy, but I had never seen so many people there, let alone with so much positive energy.

We ran through the fountain, music blasted from every angle, bubbles and glitter filled the air, there was a person spitting fire?? It was bliss. Later that evening, my partner and I went to our first concert in years, George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars in Central Park. It was a mind-blowing live performance and I was so glad it was my first concert post-lockdown. Seeing Maggot Brain live was one of the greatest experiences of my life. (Side note, we also saw Ted Allen there and chatted with him briefly after the concert, which was one of the coolest things to happen to us as major Chopped fans.)

Besides that, the beginning of July involved taking full advantage of the city as I hosted other friends. We visited museums, walked around, ate our way through the city, hit up drag performances, went roller skating, and saw lots of comedy shows. I got my nails painted for the first time: yellow, the color that represented my summer and the brightness of the moment. 4th of July was equally intense, with an Octo Octa b2b Eris Drew daytime rave at Knockdown Center and rooftop fireworks to close out the night. It was magical spending those summer moments with loved ones from every era of my life: middle school, high school, college, post-grad, NYC, lockdown. I was reminded of how many incredible people I had in my life. I felt grateful for it all.

I was trying so many new things, and why not? The pandemic infused a latent sense of urgency into everything. I would take advantage of every moment; I may not have the chance in the future! None of it was promised. This philosophy affected the way I viewed myself as well. I started feeling more connected to femininity, both in the people I had around as well as within myself. It was a way of protecting myself, feeling a sense of inherent comfort and doing what I could to take care of others.

In the midst of all of the fun, I wasn’t admitting to myself that I was totally exhausted. I had been hosting people in the city for 6 weeks straight, not leaving a moment to myself. I was neglecting the fact that I had given myself no space to adjust to all of the monumental changes in my life–starting my full-time career job, living alone in a new part of the city, maintaining a long distance relationship for the first time, and dealing with the whiplash of being thrust into “real life” again after over a year of being in lockdown. The moment the last friend I hosted left to go to the airport, it all hit me at once.

I had to start taking real responsibility for my life, and I had no idea where to begin. I knew that hosting friends, going out every day and spending with reckless abandon was not going to be sustainable, but I didn’t know how to grapple with the alternative. The back half of July became difficult as the magic of the summer started winding down. I clung on however I could, forcing activity when I knew I needed to rest. I felt imposter syndrome in everything; I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing or what I wanted. After over a year of constantly being around my immediate family and friends, I suddenly felt very alone. I felt like I was drifting; by the end of July, I was aimless and lost. As I’ve always done, I turned to the music–the songs in this month’s mix were relatable and comforting, drawing upon angst, amusement, confusion, and femininity. During this period of minimal direction, the music provided a semblance of maternal guidance.

#trip report #music #music writing #reflects #riot grrrl #Spotify

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escxpiism · 3 years

Text

( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard!

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter?

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all.

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh.

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her.

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite??

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know??

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead.

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps.

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess??

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps.

VERY private person! has had enough public standing!

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s.

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

#masters.intro #alice | intro !#this took me like....... 2hrs 2 write so i do indeed think my mind is fooling me and actually lagging behind.

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

#leverage #leverage 2.05 #leverage 2x05 #the three days of hunter job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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roccinan · 3 years

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1/? simply because you have the most galaxy brain thoughts ever,,, what do you think would've happened if they waited until s5 to reveal sergio and andrés were (half)brothers?

i do know that when my fam started watching lcdp at first i was so put off. like i watched ep 1 and the prof creeped me out. ""berlin"" creeped me out. e v e r y o n e creeped me out. and i was cringing so hard becz of the short lived romance angle with alison parker. i literally did not watch s1 at all xcept for like sneak peeks. highlights being the scene where berlin discovers monica is alive and does his dramatic door by door thing? that was so SUSPENSEFUL even tho i had no idea what was going on. DOMINGO DE RESURECCION remains forever iconic.

2/? And OF COURSE the group bella ciao dance when they hit earth (hahah i thought the banda were actually like a "found family where they all love each other LOL") i am a SUCKER for found family. but anyhoo when i properly got intrigued was s2 when tokyo was kicked out (the music from that scene is still my favourite) it's just so dramatic..!! why am i telling u all this again? right, i haven't slept a wink and it's nearly 7 am pls forgive me if these rambles make no sense. i have a point with this.. i'm going somewhere

RIGHT. so when the fam actually rewound the ep cz i wanted to know WHY berlin did that (didn't fully realise how batsht crazy he can be), the russian roulette scene played. and pedro's acting. MAN. and like just that ep they made a point of showing us these flashbacks where sergio and andrés hug....

Hi anon! Thanks for stopping by- sorry took me a while to get back to you, will do my best to answer this string of messages (got all 4 parts)! Glad you like my thoughts XD

Firstly, I believe Andres/Sergio would be the biggest LCDP ship if the writers were evil enough to wait until s5 to reveal that they’re brothers asdfasdf. They’re already the two most popular male characters anyway.

It’d be especially crazy because it’s not like they tell the actors these things beforehand either. So that means there’d probably be a Serdres vs Berlermo vs Serquel fight every 5 minutes. I mean, even if not everyone agrees on everything in the lcdp fandom, it’s the most “peaceful” one I’ve ever been in because no character really gets in the way of any other ship (like even with helermo and berlermo there’s no true conflict since Andres is dead). But with Serdres in the mix?? CATASTROPHE. Everyone out here writing essays about how much of a bastard/bitch/homewrecker/motherfucker that Andres or Sergio or Martin or Raquel is. Never a moment’s peace!! so basically, a regular fandom lmao.

Then when we find out they’re brothers, it goes from catastrophe to Apocalypse. Suddenly serquel and berlermo have the upper hand. Everyone would double down and harass the crew/cast into whatever’s going on. Plot-wise, everything is the same though, just without Andres calling Sergio “hermanito.” Fandom however, would be a minefield! And I’m glad that’s not the case because I’d probably be an unfortunate serdres shippers XD No joke, my mother and I thought they were a couple in S1. So bullet dodged!

Secondly: haha, everyone creeped me out in S1 too, especially Berlin, I hated him, but thinking back, I think I mostly hated the fact that I didn’t hate him as much as I should have. I’ve made peace with it now but oh boy, was he a controversial figure in my head. I actually like the professor on sight though! IDK why, maybe because I thought his plans were cool or because of Alvaro’s delivery. I was afraid of an Alison Parker romance thing too- like, I do feel like she had a storyline that got dropped, but that part was quite cringey and overall unnecessary to the plot. Same with Ariadna, which was even cringier and even Less necessary to the plot.

Domingo de resurrecion was iconic though yes! And even with all that said, I genuinely enjoyed parts 1 and 2 because it was so different from anything else I’d seen. Not content wise, but maybe tonally? IDK, they were just really bold with a lot of things, like being objectively unafraid of having the protagonists (plural because all of them did LMAO) do objectively shitty things. Really kept me in suspense from beginning to end!

I’m usually a big fan of found families too! The funny thing is, then banda never struck me as a “family” until season 3. In 1 and 2, I was wondering what felt different about this show; then it hit me that these people remained colleagues to the end. Like, they backstabbed each other (repeatedly) and everyone was quite selfish, and only the bonds that were already there stuck. They were the opposite of a found family LOL But I think by S3, they went down the found family route and I didn’t mind because it makes quite a lot of sense for them to feel that bond after the Mint heist and almost dying/living together (and having witnessed 3 deaths together on the team). But I still doubt Berlin and Palermo were ever really part of this found family, with good reason XD

LOL the scene where Tokyo got kicked out is also among my favorites!! It was so funny and dramatic, and it was like, wow we can go anywhere with this now! Don’t worry- your rambles and thoughts are always welcome :D

I’m rolling over how you watched the Tokyo expulsion scene before the Russian Roulette scene haha. Also yes, PEDRO. Berlin may have been “controversial” to me at first, but I became Pedro’s fan from day one! Also the Hug is probably what made me like Berlin (despite my determination to hate him rip) in the first place.

3/? ... and like now that i think about it... tokyo had real guts huh. like she KNEW berlin was close enough to el prof to know his name (fhshshs imagine if she'd heard andrés saying 'hermanito' it's unrealistic that she didn't TBH. i mean obviously they decided to make them brothers only towards the end but like in canon universe. how tf did andrés de 'i raised my bby brother since he was 12 and i'd actually die for him and his stupidly brilliant plans' fonollosa go 5 months without slipping up once and calling sergio hermanito. or like,,, i like to imagine sergio kinda gave him lots of leeway(?) sergio's a lil oblivious too but like i'm sure half of it is.. that's my dumbass older bro shut up i'm not being partial you all have city names .. andr-berlin, pass the salt. like OOF. + sergio also knew his big bro was dYiNG so like. i'm sure they were sneaking in some quality time (i hope they did 😭 gosh imagine if sergio really did not ever consider the possibility of andrés dying in the heist so he'd tell himself he needs to perfect the plan now & anyway he'll have enough time to spend w/ his brother post heist in philippines. and then ... that happened :/

Tokyo has guts in place of braincells you bet that she’d do something like this, consequences be damned XD I also think it’s unrealistic for Andres not to slip up, but I have a feeling nobody besides Tokyo really tried to spy on them in private. I headcanon that Andres instead slips up and does things like ruffle Sergio’s hair or adjust his tie when other people are around. I also think Tokyo was convinced that they were a gay couple when she saw them hug XD And if Sergio never went on to tell the banda that Berlin was his brother, everyone would be giving Palermo such awkward looks after Nairobi accused him of being in love with Berlin LMAO.

I agree! I also imagine Sergio giving Andres leeway because he’s just so used to interacting with his brother that way haha. So either he’d go out of his way to ignore Berlin in front of everyone else or IDK, borderline telepathically communicate with him. Not even “pass the salt” has to leave his mouth- Berlin just puts salt into his food and cuts it up for him, in front of everyone who’s just staring like O.O

I actually do think Sergio never considered the possibility of Andres dying in the heist because he was just that confident in his own plan. Plus, Andres was probably the one person he expected to survive. And a lot of it has to do with Sergio’s attachment to him + Andres’ own habit of downplaying any illness/injury over the years, which I think is safe to believe canon. He was really in no condition to be in the heist, let alone lead it. Just the fact that he needs to take those injections is a big sign that he shouldn’t be there, but Sergio didn’t catch it because he’s human and blinded by faith :’) So yeah, I think Sergio was planning to spend proper time with Andres in Palawan and at Toledo, they just settled for those little moments by the fireplace.

4/? what always also just GETS me in the feels is that el prof was shown to be this in control creepily calm dude who is miles ahead of everyone. + in the 1st Toledo class itself we see how detached,, like how impersonal he is, how professional - choosing frickin CITY NAMES?! no 'personal relationships' ? (after recruiting his older brother, a father son pair, and war cousins... oh sergio 😂 he's such a frickin nerd and i love him) but like the earlier seasons really emphasised how robotic and down right COLD he can be. it still sometimes bothers me that he put the button in the car. he lead the police to his own damn brother, his blood, who took care of him and adopted him and was terminally ill and like - UGH i try to rationalise that sergio is that cold and unbothered. or that he has strict morals. but it still bothers me becz that button really sort of tipped andres' already unstable sanity. like andrés tells denver someth like you've robbed my future and after that he just seems so much more suicidal and accepting that he can't get out of the mint alive - WHY SERGIO WHY. I KNOW THAT AT THAT POINT YOU BASICALLY DIDN'T KNOW ANDRÉS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR BROTHER YET BECZ IT WASN'T WRITTEN IN THE SCRIPT BUT WHYYYYY

That’s so funny to me too LMAO No personal relationships, then he recruits these guys. Sergio, hello?? Also can’t forget how he just recruited his own girfrleind in the second heist too. Buddy! Love this nerd.

I don’t think that cold aspect of Sergio went away in later seasons either; he just had more opportunity to show a more open side of himself + without Andres, he had to metaphorically leave his comfort zone without a safety net. But in earlier seasons, he really did seem heartless at times XD Then again, we can argue that the same goes for Andres.

To be fair, I didn’t feel sorry for Andres over the button thing lol, but once the brothers reveal happened and all of Alvaro/Pedro’s headcanons came out and we know everything Andres did for Sergio, it makes what Sergio did REALLY harsh. We really just have to explain it through Sergio’s strict morals and him believing this to be the best non-fatal punishment for Andres, who at that point had convinced him he killed a hostage. And because he knew the television interview was coming up, maybe Sergio assumed Andres would use it to “clear” his name anyway. And empathy isn’t one of Sergio’s strong suits either, so through that lens, I can rationalize it.

Also it was lowkey funny to me how Andres was there like DENVER MUST DIE until he found out Sergio put the button there, then he was like “oh hermanito, you and your practical jokes <3″

Still, like you said, Andres and Sergio weren’t brothers yet at this point. They were probably supposed to be lovers lmao and had a dysfunctional Hannibal Lecter x Will thing going on. But because they made #hermanos canon, that button moment just feels very out of place now, especially given how much the two genuinely love each other.

Guess we could also say that Sergio’s just generally kinda bratty with Andres XD Like, he knows no matter what, Andres would forgive him anything. That’s how I see it anyway!

#anonymous #thanks for stopping by!#royalpaperhouse is this you my friend? :D

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rescvers · 3 years

Text

| monica raymund, 25, paramedic in charge | is that gabriela dawson ? she works down at firehouse 51 ! i’ve heard they’re pretty self-confident & honest but relax a little because they can get pretty abrasive if you push them too hard. before you go visit her at work, maybe bring a quick hot hazelnut with milk with you? we all know they need it! |

trigger warnings: n/a

full character page here

G E N E R A L

full name: gabriela raisa dawson

nickname(s): gabby, gab, dawson

trope: chronic hero syndrome

B A S I C S

age: 25

birthday: march 30, 1996

nationality: american

ethnicity: dominican, mixed

gender: cis-female

pronouns: she/her/hers

romantic orientation: biromantic

sexual orientation: bisexual

political affiliation: liberal

religion: catholic, non-practicing

occupation: paramedic in charge, ambulance 61

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

parents: ramon dawson (father), camila dawson (mother)

siblings: antonio dawson (older brother)

significant other(s): none, currently single

children: none.

closest friends: leslie shay, matt casey

rivals: tbd.

enemies: tbd.

P H Y S I C A L T R A I T S

faceclaim: monica raymund

eye color: dark brown

hair color: dark brown

height: 5′5

body build: fit

notable physical traits: n/a

aesthetic/style: casual, but stylish when she needs to be

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits: confident, honest, passionate, dauntless

negative traits: abrasive, defensive, stubborn, impatient

typical mood/expression: resting bitch face :/

zodiac sign: aries

moral alignment: chaotic good

enneagram: type five

mbti: estj

hogwarts house: gryffindor

M I S C E L L A N E O U S

skills: emergency response, making a good drink, strategic planning

hobbies: standing up for what's right, being a badass

fears/phobias: losing those she loves

favorites: tapas, coffee, tequila, family

B I O G R A P H Y

Gabriela grew up just outside of Chicago as a part of a big family. Her immediate family consisted of her father Ramon, her mother Camila, and her older brother Antonio. However, there always seemed to be relatives around throughout their childhoods. Gabby loved the feeling of being apart of a large family, and she has inadvertently looked for that throughout her life.

Gabby was always a caring person, but it was her passion that really made her shine. Whatever she did, she threw herself into it, often head first. Gabby was far from perfect. But when someone told her she couldn't do something? Well, that just made her want to prove them wrong. Anyone telling her she couldn’t made her want to do it even more.

But above all, Gabby lived to help people. Before she even realized what she wanted to do, there were hints that she wanted to save people. Even as a kid, Gabby would use her toys to act out scenes and scenarios where she could come in to save the day. There was a certain rush, being the hero, but there was even more of an overwhelming feeling having saved someone. Even if it only was her Mr. Potato Head.

Gabby was smart, but she didn’t feel like school was the best fit for her. She would rather get to work instead of sitting in a classroom. After considering a coupe potential options for her future, Gabby decided on becoming a paramedic. It combined everything she was looking for--the fast-paced environment, the ability to help people, and her very own community of people to lean on and learn from.

C U R R E N T L Y

Gabby has been at Firehouse 51 for a couple of years now, and she can't imagine being anywhere else. The folks at the firehouse have become her family, for better or worse. As much as they get on her nerves from time to time, Gabby can't imagine leaving her people at 51.

As Paramedic in Charge of Ambulance 61, Gabby often butts heads with higher ups over what's right and wrong. She's not exactly a traditionalist when it comes to following policy and procedure. Sure she tries, but if it comes down to it, Gabby will always defend what's right for her patient over a need to adhere to pointless bureaucracy.

P L O T S

we all know and love the one and only gabby dawson

firehouse family - would love to build up some relationships with the crew at 51!!

you know she’s super powerful and stand’s her ground, so could butt heads with someone when she tries to go around the rules?

also love her she deserves it

#windyintro #sparks that never fade ( gabriela dawson. )

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retrauxpunk · 4 years

Text

silicon valley grand finale recap: 6.07

everything under the cut, complete with spoilers :)

okay alec berg

okay

you won me over as i suspected and hoped and wanted you to but i dared not hope too much because of what a clusterfuck 6.06 was in my opinion

i had low expectations as a defence mechanism

but i’ve just watched this magnificent 45-minute farewell behemoth of an episode and you know what? FINE.

FINE

IT WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD and it’s good enough that i’m now slightly less mad about 6.06 because you know what OKAY the dumbass rushed-execution plotline about the AI — yeah okay now that the finale’s out, OKAY, YES, it was WORTH the russfest deus ex machina fucker to get THIS.

a really good finale that i’m. HAPPY WITH.

i FELT THE EMOTIONS when i was meant to feel them! it resonated! it was brilliant!

oh man

i don’t know if i have too much to say because i’m just quite happy with it and now that the whole thing’s over, i no longer have the suspense? but okay let’s see

so firstly i woke up to a DM from some fucker (someone i’d intermittently chatted SV with on instagram after they reached out to me; someone who, prior to this, i would not have called a fucker) and all i saw were the notifications reading something like ‘have you seen the episode’ and ‘heartbreaking’ and i swear to god i was fucking livid because, like, i recognise that that’s not a spoiler DETAIL about PLOT per se but i’m one of those freaks who, when i really like something, i don’t want to know fucking ANYTHING! including the emotional reaction anyone has to it because then!! then!!!! i fucking start thinking about what happened! it’s giving me some kind of information that i previously did not have and which i did not want to have because i DO NOT WANT my experience coloured by other people’s reviews! because they give away SOMETHING

(if you were doubting the veracity of me relating to richard the most out of the characters. behold this petty rage and tell me i’m wrong)

(also i KNOW it could’ve just been saying ‘the show’s over now and that’s heartbreaking’ but the point is I DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT because you only get a truncated view in notifications and it’s not like i’m gonna open the fucking chat to CHECK if it’s ACTUALLY A SPOILER at the risk of viewing S P O I L E R S)

(they don’t call me the richard hendricks bitch for nothing, that moniker has a new dimension now)

yeah so i blocked this guy (and then sent him a technically polite and civil but otherwise really fucking pissy DM in response after i’d watched the episode) and then went about my day

i had a good day, which was good. gotta be in the right mood to consume the final installment of my favourite tv show ever.

i started watching.

documentary, huh? this is. INTERESTING.

and it becomes clear that something’s fucked up. even without instagram fucker’s comment, it is clear. given the fact that richard looks like a lonely soul in a retirement home at the beginning of the documentary, with all the colours/backdrop and the weighty comments of how ‘everything was fine’

and then there’s the party ... hurray ... richard in the cake! love it. sometime do some fic/art of richard popping out of a cake in a jarrich context lol

monica’s gift of the text messages! that’s really sweet and i loved it.

THE DOT. HOLY SHIT RICHARD YOU EAGLE-EYED MOTHER FUCKER

also u fuckin nerd with the ellipsis comment........... tbh i get it, i appreciate that joke

(oh jared. dutifully laughing at all his jokes. LITERALLY LIKE HOW SOMEONE WITH A CRUSH LAUGHS AT ALL THEIR CRUSH’S DUMBASS JOKES HHHHHHH)

I really enjoyed when jared mansplained and got bitten by monica lmao i just ............ i’m not fully able to articulate why i liked it but i REALLY ENJOYED IT hahah

GILFOYLE!! appearing with the lock the doors comment and cliff bars and a gun ...... oh boy i love him ;_;

i enjoy that they explicitly(ish) mention that gilfoyle’s an alcoholic lmao

also, dinfoyle shippers, gilfoyle passing out in the men’s room after a rendezvous with dinesh? huh? huh? -aggressively nudges and winks-

...anyway

i love that it’s the combination of richard’s obsessive meticulousness and gilfoyle’s hardcore work ethic and security-mindedness that reveal this fatal flaw with pied piper. it’s a nice collaboration of sorts and it speaks kind of to each person’s greatest strengths (diligence, thoroughness) (i mean we know richard’s other greatest strength is the talent of his coding and gilfoyle’s other greatest strength is also his brilliance and also his being smoking hot but y’know i didn’t say greatest strength at the exclusion of others...)

OH MAN

YES GILFOYLE you have a strong moral compass and want to kill the monster!

laurie being in prison .......................for no clearly defined reason.....and her hair’s still perfect..... yeah i’m here for it. also she does strike me as someone who’d do pretty much fine in prison lmao

i liked richard and jared’s rooftop conversation. i ..... i was annoyed with jared mentioning gwart because THAT WHOLE THING WITH GWART AND JARED LEAVING AND THEN COMING BACK AND THE I MISS YOU AND WHATEVER I DON’T CARE WHILE LITERALLY CRYING AND ALL OF THAT STILL FEELS LIKE AN ARC THEY STRAIGHT UP FORGOT TO CONTINUE/RESOLVE AND I’M STILL FUCKING MAD but aside from that i liked the conversation.

this whole series has been instance after instance of richard’s idealism and moral compass seeming to thwart his success because he refuses to do shitty things and instead chooses the harder but ultimately morally good path, and it’s ...... i love that this culminates in him making one of the most difficult/painful idealistic choices of all: let his dream of six years come to fruition and possibly (rather than certainly, at this point) ruin the whole fucking world, or kill his dream and really truly make the world a better place by SAVING THE FUCKIGN WORLD?

UGH YES *chef’s kiss*

love that jared’s agreeing with him/supporting him the whole time and you can fucking SEE richard calming down from his initial rage and seeing that, oh, okay, no, he has no choice, he Must kill the beast he has created...

and at that point screaming FUCK from the rooftop seems like a pretty sane response

love the cut to him in his i-mean-business blue hoodie (was it his blue hoodie? i can’t remember but i feel like it was?) being like ‘gilfoyle’s right’ lol

THE THING WITH DINESH’S CAR AND CRACKING TESLA’S ENCRYPTION

this was cool enough that i did not care about technological feasibility, Rule of Cool achieved

and dinesh’s speech about how he couldn’t be trusted! oh boy

like jared said, it was a magnificently courageous moment of cowardice. LOVE. IT.

(also i couldn’t help thinking, lol was this done as a response to kumail nanjiani’s schedule clashing with the others so they had to have all his scenes separate rom the rest of the cast? i mean either way they executed it stunningly)

oh BOY THE THING WITH GABE AND JOHN STAFFORD!!! and you know if gilfoyle had been friends with john stafford then maybe john would’ve fucking called gilfoyle and checked before fixing this shit!!

is this what they intended? i’m not sure. but it sure makes the gilfoyle chess subplot seem a lot less frustrating than the other going-nowhere-but-comedic-relief subplots that were in themselves fine but made me mad when i saw how rushed 6.6 was

gabe lmao

fuckin gabe

BUT GOOD ON GABE FOR LETTING DINESH KNOW JUST IN CASE!! THANK YOU GABE!!!

and OH BOY DINESH! YOU CAME THROUGH! YOU HAVE A GOOD CORE AFTER ALL! YOU COULD’VE DONE NOTHING AND BECOME RICH BUT YOU CLIMBED A SKYSCRAPER’S WORTH OF STAIRS AND SAVED THE FUCKING WORLD!

lmao i loved kumail nanjiani’s horrible wheezing as he opens the door and then despairs and then wheezes his way up the surprise additional stairs, i actually started laughing in my seat. brilliant physical comedy.

also loved gilfoyle’s ‘are you jacking off’ ‘did you do one push-up’ jibes lmao

brill

YES DINESH SAVED THE DAY!

AND GILFOYLE SAVED THE DAY! WHEN RICHARD (not entirely unreasonably) FUCKING FROZE AND GILFOYLE MADE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION AND TRUSTED DINESH AND IT PAID OFF! YESSSSS

oh and speaking of trusting dinesh. richard being like ‘dinesh you fucked us’ and then apologising and dinesh being all ‘you’re good, i’d think i fucked us too’ AHHH *chef’s kiss*

THE RATS? LMAO THE RATS? verging on maybe too ridiculous but I THINK I LIKED IT.

oh boy

CONAN

BILL GATES LOL

KARA SWISHER

PRESUMABLY MANY OTHER BRILLIANT GUEST STARS I MISSED

YES

oh man that convo on the roof! the only issue i had with that was jared being relegated to the seats behind them WHY ! WHY WAS THAT!!

ok i’m gonna headcanon it as like, they were gonna make room for him but he was like ‘OH NO NEVER MIND I’LL SIT BEHIND YOU, I LIKE BEING ABLE TO WATCH OVER YOU ALL’ ok there i fixed it. it’s plausible and i fixed it.

gilfoyle drinking entire bottles of tres commas? man he’s so hot and alcohol-soaked i’m astonished he hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet

THEY SAVED THE WORLD ;___;

MY BABIES SAVED THE WORLD

oh and now the present day................ (of the episode) ......

gavin as a trashy romance novelist and denpak as his long-suffering ghostwriter/collaborator? LOVE IT LMAO yeah sure why not!! and that scene when they’re arguing but then have this breakthrough about their novel in progress? AMAZING HAHAHAH i hope they’re happy together

RICHARD IS THE GAVIN BELSON PROFESSOR OF ETHICS WHAT THE FUCK

I MEAN OKAY FIRSTLY he is well-qualified to be an ethics in tech professor given his experience

BUT DOES IT NOT KILL HIM TO HAVE GAVIN BELSON IN HIS TITLE LMAO

maybe gavin made a hefty donation to stanford and bighead gave enough of that to richard that richard doesn’t mind

maybe at this point richard’s developed a good enough sense of humour to tolerate it because if he didn’t, he’d go fucking insane

he said he was happy .................... was he? i’ve no fucking idea tbh. what do you guys think? richard’s happy with a high-paying non-stressful job, or richard’s sad and despairing? ......i’m gonna go with the former. maybe wistful. maybe he’ll start another company one day. idek.

god when he said his best friend gave him a job ... for a second i thought it was jared. but oh well. OH WELL. OH WELLLLL.

LOVE that big head is president of stanford and it’s not addressed AT ALL how that happened and you know what? we had enough of him failing upward that we don’t need an explanation! this seems totally plausible! amazing.

and josh brener’s acting when they’re like ‘do they call you that because your surname is bighetti’ .......... amazing

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DINESH AND GILFOYLE STARTED A COMPANY TOGETHER AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD

hey i just realised is NEWELL ROAD the place where the guy who bought dinesh’s laptop from the office clearance sale lived where gilfoyle turned up pretending to be geek squad to punch a hole in the laptop????!!

okay i just went back and checked and that’s not it. BUT newell road is the street the hacker hostel’s on!

which is fucking adorable and i love it.

ALSO

AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED THEY FUCKING MADE DINFOYLE CANON BECAUSE LOOK GILFOYLE SAYS THAT THING ABOUT DINESH BUYING THE HOUSE NEXT TO HIS BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM AND DINESH HAS NOTHING TO SAY BUT ‘FUCK YOU’ AND YOU KNOW WHAT

YEAH THEY DID IT

THEY STARTED A COMPANY TOGETHER AND GOT MARRIED

i swear to god when they said there was a meeting i just briefly imagined the ‘meeting’ was them sneaking off to a supply closet to fuck or something

YESSS

so we didn’t get jarrich but WE GOT THIS

okay whatevs i’ll take what i can get *blows coolly on nails*

jared working with the elderly! that thing about having parents and being someone’s parents! that’s so beautiful and makes so much sense it works somewhat as a salve to the darkly comedic but ultimately not really necessary punch to the gut that was the discovery about his biological parents.

judy reading one of gavin’s romance novels HAHAH YES

oh boy! the reunion!

i swear to god when richard and jared walked up to each other IT STILL FUCKING FELT LIKE THEY WERE GONNA KISS

everyone hugging!

GILFOYLE LOOKING TO THE CAMERA WHEN RICHARD AND JARED HUG

to me, that’s him being like ‘look at these two. ten years and they’ve not realised they’re in love yet’ hahahha

oh and Monica working for the NSA? yeah i can see it hahahah

jian-yang’s crazy jungle empire? yeah fuckin checks out

(RON’S PANIC WHEN RICHARD STARTS ADMITTING GUILT AND HE HAS TO BACKTRACK LMAO love the law jokes/references)

dinesh referring to gilfoyle’s horrible corner hahaha it’s so clear they fucking love each other they wouldn’t have fucking started a company if they didn’t also THEY LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT

at first i was like oh god did richard and jared not see each other for years??? but then there was that line about ‘i saw you last week’ and i’m so happy again. headcanon best friends (not to say that big head isn’t also a best friend of richard’s) and they catch up and love each other and then fall in love down the line (TIME TO WRITE A FIC LOL)

WHEN JARED HAD THE THING IN HIS BAG I GUESSED IT WAS THE ALWAYS BLUE THING AND WHEN IT CAME OUT I ACTUALLY PUT MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH AT ALL THE FEELINGS AND OH BOY OH BOY YESSSSS

<3333

richard losing the thumb drive. HA.

good. good setup

now the spinoff of sv is this apocalyptic hellhole because the thumb drive fell into the wrong hands and now pied piper have gathered to face/fight the apocalypse

i..... could write that fic. i could.

i imagine in that apocalypseverse jared has super surprisingly become a ruthless leader of a tribe, dinesh and gilfoyle are dual rulers obviously (or like, scavenger rebels on the fringes), monica has a terrifying tribe of followers or has made herself indispensable to another leader, richard is working as a tech slave for someone horrible (or is out in the woods after being stranded away from civilisation when the first attacks/clusterfucks occur) but then gets rescued by jared/the rest .............. yeah

OKAY ANYWAY

in short i really really liked it and i think the whole idea of them having to purposely fail to save the world from the terrible genius of what they’ve created is a fitting and deliciously bittersweet way to end this wild journey and i LOVE THIS WHOLE FUCKING SERIES and i don’t wish it had ended any other way

except for richard and jared kissing and sailing off into the sunset of course

#rain watches sv s6 #silicon valley #sv spoilers #sv s6 spoilers #silicon valley spoilers #precipitation #my sv text posts

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blkmxrvel · 5 years

Text

Carol Danvers Fluff A-Z Headcanon

Pairing: Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel x Female!Reader

Request: -

Warnings: None

A/N: I’m pretty sure you all saw this coming. And if you didn’t.....well.

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

Growing up on Hala (we all know she didn’t but you know what I mean), Carol was always taught the less affection the better. She willed herself to never care or let her personal feelings get in the way. To her, the mission at task was always the most important.

But when she met you, all of that changed. She never understood why she wanted to hold your hand, or why she always started glowing when someone said something remotely offensive to you.

Once she got over all of that however, you can best your bottom dollar that Carol was the most affectionate person you’d ever met. She doesn’t believe in showing you off in front of anybody, or anything like that. She knew you were hers, so affection didnt’t happen much when you were in public. But! At home around people you were both comfortable around, she would never stop with the pet names, holding, and random kisses. You never complained, and she never stopped.

B =best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

She has two, even though they didn’t happen at the same time they’re both the same thing. The first time she met you.

Before she had gone missing, you two were in the same troop in the Air Force. The day she walked on the field, she couldn’t take here eyes off of you. You smiled at her and she had committed to her memory. You two had became the best of friends after that.

After the six years, you were at Monica’s house when she and Fury came to the house. And Carol swears that everything came back to her in that moment. It was like you were the one with powers, the way a orange silhouette followed you around. She soaked in the way your body felt against hers when you hugged her.

Everything came flooding back. The laughs, the cries, the anger and the love. She had remembered it all.

C = cat or dog person

Cats, duh. Have you met Goose? Okay we know that he’s not an actual cat, but the way he looks, how fluffy he is has inspired Carol to never own any other animal. D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

To protect. That's always been her purpose. On Kree and even before the crash, she always wanted to protect her people. You, Monica, Maria, Fury; are her people, and she will be damned if she lets anything happen to any of you. E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

Sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep. Trying to save planets and the universe really takes a toll, so she naps as much as possible. Most nights though, she loves to just cut on her favorite slow music grab a book and lose herself in it. Its her second favorite relaxation method. F = first date (what was it like?)

Fucking extravagant. Who would've thought carol was such a romantic. There were candles everywhere, soft music playing and an empty restaurant just for the two of you. You spent the entire evening having your every desire filled and it couldn't get any better than that.

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

Im- We all know, and if you don't I'm so sorry. With her stature and build you would think her giggle is dominant and deep, but no no. It's light, airy and makes your stomach do flips. It's adorable and you love to watch her eyes scrunch up when she does it. H = hugs (do they like hug? What kind of hugs do the give?)

Carol has the absolute best hugs. She's tall so naturally her arms go for the middle, and they're long so she's able to wrap them alllllll the way around and pull you in. She squeezes firm but not hard enough to make you lose your breath. Her eyes always close a little bit to savor the moment as she rests her head on top of yours. And She always smells like apples and vanilla so it makes the experience that much better. I = instrument (do they play an instrument?)

She loves the piano. The soft, serene music it makes is a sharp contrast to what she's usually used to: chaos, chaos, chaos. So she's delighted to let herself go in something so...grounding. J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You, Maria, Monica and Of course goose are her favorite people. She prides herself on human interactions with the ones she loves, so being around you guys makes her the happiest. Fighting to protect you all is great, but that means nothing if she doesn't have a bond with the ones she is protecting, you know? K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

You know….Carol is a certified #top but I think her kisses would be so soft and gentle most of time. She’d grab you by your face and start with your nose and cheeks, before placing the softest of kisses on your lips. It's so soft it tickles, making you and in turn her always laugh.

There are those occasions after a near-death mission or event where softness is not the needed medium. In those cases, passion is everything. Actions speak louder than words, and she’ll make sure that she speaks clearly.

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

When Carol Danvers wants something, she makes sure everyone knows it. She never missed an opportunity to compliment or flirt with you. She regularly invaded your personal space with hugs, cheek kisses and high five. Whenever someone would try to make advances on you, all she had to do was make her first glow a little bit and boom.

And it wasn't just her trying to make sure no one made a move on you. She would consistently dodge everyone else who tries to slide on her. If it wasn't you, then she didn't want them.

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

Oddly enough, the night in the bar she'd spent with Maria. It was after a really long day training, and they decided to let off some steam. After getting more drunk than what medical professionals recommend, they had spent all night singing karaoke. They didn't get a single word or melody right, but who cares?

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

The three i’s: Intolerance, Ignorance, Insolence. She absolutely cannot stand (ironically enough) people who have no respect for others. In the air force, she has been treated way less than everyone else just because she had a vagina. And Maria had it worse than her, just because she was black and had a vagina. They both got shit for liking women. The skrulls has their entire planet and families destroyed, just because the Kree people thought they were better than them. She couldn't ever wrap her head around people like that, but she could blast them into a new galaxy :)

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

Serving her country. But since she has too much power to be just doing that, she wants to serve, protect and restore the entire universe. She wants to shield everyone from harm and avenge the death of everyone Thanos took from them. (See what I did there?)

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Oh, Carol would most definitely be the parent who's their kids best friend. She knows how to get down with the best of them, and her children are no exception. Can you imagine what it would be like having a mini carol blasting around the house? All the little (and big) things they would get into? My, Oh, My. Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

What do you think? R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Carol puts romanticism to shame. If she isn't constantly sweeping you off your feet, whether literally or figuratively, then she's doing something wrong.

Flowers and foods from different planets. Vacations to different galaxies. Never having to make breakfast or drive ever again. Long soliloquies when she can't wait to see after a long mission. Never having to go a day without her after they defeat Thanos. Sometimes they can get overwhelming, but you know she's coming from a place of love.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Happy you, happy maria, happy Monica, happy goose, happy life, happy universe, Happy Carol.

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

Because of her current task of trying to fix the universe, she doesn't see you nearly as much as she would like to. But when she is without dont expect to be able to shake her off, not that you'd ever want to. She would be all over you with kisses, hugs, cuddles, sex and love. She had to get as much of you as she could before she had to leave again.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)

You hate to be the kind of s/o where they say they’re absolutely perfect...but Carol is absolutely perfect. There isn’t anything wrong with her. You could ask for anyone better. V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

Surprisingly, yes. Obviously she's not from this era, being born in the 60s and on other planets for the past 15 years. Her first time seeing a cell phone was one thing, but seeing her face on one in real time, doing what she was doing was a different breed. Once you taught her how to use the camera as well as social media (“so you're telling me that I can see what someone else is doing on the other side of the world?) all she could do was document her life. Her life that consisted mainly of you, Monica and Maria was all over snapchat, Instagram and Facebook. It was the small things she chose to record and photograph. The things that were important but not big enough to where she can automatically recall. She chose to record things that she wouldn't even think of on a regular basis, things that would jog her memory and make her smile. Because who knows? Maybe someone else can come along and take her memory again. Or read her thoughts. She needs something that can make her remember.

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?)

Everything the both of you could ever ask for. It was outdoors, both your families (avengers, skrulls, flerkens, the usual) were there. You both work pristine beautiful dresses that had everyone in awe. There wasn't a dry eye in the courtyard as you two were pronounced wife and wife.

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

Psssttt. She loves country music and painting, dont tell anyone.

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

Besides those special type of people, carol absolutely despises the summer. You would think, living in California, she'd be used to it but no. She hated the sticky sweat and the humid air. Winter was the summer for her. Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Carol sleeps like she's heavily, heavily sedated. It's quite remarkable, you think. She usually sleeps on her back, or side but she's always attaches to you. Whether you're on her chest or she's facing you with your arms around each other.

Now, I've seen sooooo many people say that Carol is a morning person, but I have to disagree. Do you really think she's gonna do all that work, sleep that hard and wake up chipper? I think not! She does everything in her power to stay asleep, you are not going to object, you hate the mornings too.

It's always a game to see who can sleep in the longest. Spoiler alert: Carol usually wins.

#Captain Marvel #Carol Danvers #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers x reader #Brie Larson #brie larson x reader #marvel #marvel hc #iconicwlw

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aqueeracademic · 1 year

Text

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 7:

season 2, episode 3, “Sway”:

- i know that morse is looking up to examine the cork board but i’m like 98% sure he’s looking up to examine jakes

- omg this episode is so fruity!

- i actually have no idea i’m just manifesting it

- you ever see a man in a tv show and immediately know he’s a douche even tho nothing has happened yet? that just happened!

- “housewife willingly opened door to killer!” how about you rephrase that so it doesn’t seem like it’s her fault?

- i already don’t think sex is real, so when people fuck in cars i am EXTRA skeptical

- needing a cigarette after seeing smth upsetting is relatable

- i do feel as though jakes always believes morse immediately, he just asks questions to make it make sense to himself

- like he doesn’t fully understand it but he would never say morse is wrong

- because he’s in love.

- i’m pretty sure the professor is a homosexual and that’s why he and his wife live apart and why he admits he doesn’t understand women BUT i also think almost every fictional character to ever exist is gay so whatever

- when men refer to women as “birds” i want to die

- how people with disabilities are treated in this show makes me violent to be QUITE frank

- morse immediately locking in on the case when he’s asked about being in a relationship is so real

- the question i must ask you is this (listen very carefully):

- IS morse watching the COUPLE or is he watching the MAN?

- ^this isn’t delusional because NOW LISTEN

- when the gay employee walks past and the other guys follow and say that homophobic shit

- morse reacts ALMOST like they’re talking to him

- he turns around immediately, IMMEDIATELY stops looking at the man he was looking at (who, after sitting down with his girl, is the only person in view, insinuating that morse was indeed only looking at the man), and looks offended as if they had spoken to him

- which, of course, they haven’t

- and if morse automatically assumes that they were talking to him, does that suggest that people have assumed he was queer in the past and bullied him for it?

- i just want to know why shaun evans chose to have morse react that way

- have i mentioned i’m obsessed with monica? because i’m obsessed

- i would also faint if i saw thursday irl tbh she’s not dramatic at all

- morse is down BAD for the owner of burridge’s and i cannot blame him

- jakes is SO FINE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

- “who knows with women haters?”

- thursday is a feminist and an ally!

- italian woman + gay man = perfect pairing is all i’m learning this episode

- casual ableism is SO UGLY

- “you shouldn’t tease people” “you’re one to talk” NEWS FLASH BUCKO ur a fucking misogynist

- just because a woman is attractive does NOT mean she’s asking you to sleep with her ‼️‼️‼️

- morse going on a heterosexual date and then glaring at heterosexuals the whole time is killing me

- “should be strangled at birth” sir how r u still alive

- why on earth did thursday ring the bell and then walk that far away

- morse has UNLIMITED rizz

- it being revealed that this italian lady is not the italian lady thursday was in love w is the best plot twist of the century methinks

- it’s not even really a plot twist

- it’s just a relief to know he’s not gonna cheat on his wife rn

- it’s just this:

- LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

- it’s the way that bright asks thursday how people can value passion over someone who is consistent and dependable and then thursday having to face that difference through the whole episode

- he had passion with the italian woman and is trying to find it again with miss armstrong

- but it doesn’t work because he has his wife

- and she’s DEPENDABLE

- and it’s shown when she gives him his sandwiches and tells him to come home safe and it’s IMPORTANT for him to have someone who is so consistent

- the gay man at burridges is my favorite character in the entire 9 seasons of this show and it’s not even close

- the way morse rolls his eyes when jakes says panty hose are more popular

- “as if you’d know” 🙄🙄🙄

- this episode actually makes the culprit as obvious as humanely possible at the 45:15 mark and it’s the only episode in the whole show where i knew who it was the entire time

- i’m fairly convinced that jakes being rude to morse is just him trying to make jokes and being bad at it

- “who are you going to believe?” and the answer being the super gay 12 year old detective is so real of the burridge’s owner tbh

- i’m lowkey confused because ms. armstrong told thursday “i’m not her” and “she died” but then in their next scene together they act like they WERE in a relationship so maybe i lack media literacy but idk wtf is going awn

- this gay man’s fashion taste is fucking elite

- the all teal look?????? the matching goddam eyeshadow???????

- werk.

- “proper pals we was. but i got careless. lost him somewhere. you’re young. you think love’s like buses. there will be another one along in a minute. that was ‘48… it’s funny. it’s never the one you never met, it’s the one you can’t forget.”

- i’ll vomit.

- IM SO CONFUSED ABOUT THURSDAYS RELATIONSHIP WITH MS ARMSTRONG BC SHES TALKING LIKE THEY WERE AN ITEM EVEN THO SHE SAID THE WOMEN HE WAS W IS DEAD ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

- norman did NOT deserve that shit i’m devastated

- why don’t people ever just listen to morse the first time around

- as if he has ever been wrong 🙄 (he is wrong almost every single time he speaks)

- so this girl insinuated that Blenheim Veil is for people “who aren’t quite right” so i’m rly confused as to why jakes would be out there

- the burridge’s owner is so obviously flirting with morse and morse is not reacting at all i hate him

- morse absolutely devouring everything that man had to say about being a pilot

- morse loves PEOPLE he just hates individuals and he’s right

- JAKES UNDERCOVER WIG IS SENDING ME TO THE MOON PLEASEEEEEE

- jakes staring morse down when he’s telling thursday what Pugh said is so legitimate

- “didnt you go to sunday school?” “you don’t want to know where i went.” AND WHEN I LOSE MY MIND? AND WHEN THAT IS MY FINAL STRAW??? WHAT THEN?

- like i fucking said before:

- morse interprets jakes’ jokes as jakes being rude and interprets jakes’ defensiveness as a joke and that is why they don’t understand each other and that is why they love each other and don’t know how to show it. in this essay i will-

- morse’s rizz is so crazy 😧

- ^ i would like to apologize for using the word rizz unironically but it’s 3am

- one more time for the people in the back: i do not understand thursday’s relationship with the italian women and i don’t think i ever will

- “i’m the law and you’re nicked!” strange, i will marry you

- morse all sleepy and bundled up?? i’ll scream

- jakes’ goddam cheekbones are something i’ll never recover from

- morse being happy for and proud of strange for being successful is so silly and adorable

- morse clearly also doesn’t understand what thursdays relationship with ms. armstrong is and i can respect that

- what kind of money do the thursdays have where they can rent this venue for this celebration

- also stfu fred and winnie are my parents

- i’ve seen this episode 2 or 3 times now and i only just now realized why the chalk was important

- like they explain it but my brain is so small idk how i couldn’t comprehend it at first

- but also my brain is huge because i knew from the 45 minute mark who the killer was so everyone stfu

- thursday and morse both holding the exact same disgusted expression while the guy confesses is why i love them

- the ending of this episode is so crazy to me

- and sort of feels unnecessary????

- maybe that’s just me

- like he’s celebrating his anniversary and clearly happy and content and i don’t feel like she needed to die to solidify that

- it just opens the wound back up for him tbh

- doesn’t feel fair

- gonna lose my mind over how beautiful oxford is

- morse burning the letter so no one will ever know except for him and thursday is-

- 8/10 slightly more gay this time and it had my fav character

#solid episode #jakes #owns me #and he’ll never not own me #endeavour #endeavour itv #endeavour morse #morse #itv endeavour

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