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#to think i was once too nervous to post anything
teaandatale · 2 years
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Steggy Week 2022 – Day 2 (Monday): Favourite Era
A FIC PREVIEW of "This Tune of You"
But we have to start with the link above as this is a bit of a mash-up of both Day (1) Inspired By and Day (2) Favorite Era, where this was inspired by a lovely bit of old fanart and set in one of my favorite “eras” for Steggy, a Modern AU set just after Avengers 1, where Stark Tower plays a big role. Let’s rewind to a simpler time of 2015, when this idea first came to me, while I was enjoying Steggy from the sidelines and Stark/Avengers Tower found family AUs were still all the rage. Back then, I loved nothing more than an AU where Peggy was brought forward in time to be with Steve. Only surprisingly, I had a more angsty take on such a reunion.
Let’s start with the original inspiration for this fic! At a time when I was not actively on tumblr but discovered Steggy and needed content to obsess over, sometime in 2015, I came across the loveliest fanart of Peggy with a caption that immediately captured my muse.
Shout out to @illustratedkate-blog who made a headcanon that Peggy in 2014 would have loved the Arctic Monkeys (and wearing cool ass leather jackets & shades as seen in the art. I don’t think is on tumblr anymore. I wish I could have let them know back then how inspiring their art was to me.
The song in question that Peggy (and consequently I, who had already been very obsessed with the Arctic Monkeys at the time) is "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys.
This was one of the first fics I ever attempted for Steggy (though never finished & never shared, because I was still super insecure about sharing my writing). I like to think I’ve improved a lot in the last seven years, so I hope I will one day be able to rework and finish this.
Until such a time, enjoy this collection of random snippets from the fic.
Title: This Tune of You
Summary: Not long after the Battle of New York, a still struggling to adjust Steve has another big surprise. A blast from his past, Peggy Carter mysteriously appears in one of Stark’s labs at Stark Tower. But the reunion is difficult, both Steve and Peggy now displaced in time, and not any better about discussing feelings than they did back in the SSR Bunker in London in 1943. They remain in this weird place, where they should have the closest connection, but instead of a spark rekindling, they have an argument about what Peggy’s appearance in the 21st century could mean and, in their stubbornness, it drives them apart. They begin to avoid each other.
Peggy who had never been one for sitting around, decides to take life by the balls and reacquaint herself with this world in 21st century. But after Tony shoots down her trying to visit England as New York City was feeling very lonely, she makes it her mission to seek out any still existing British comforts to make her more at ease.
She ends up discovering the Arctic Monkeys while hearing a song play while trying to get a handle on shopping malls, and the sound of it, the punching drum sounds, the forceful guitar, the lyrics, they all speak to her current state of mind. Her obsession with the new music leads ends up consumes all of Avenger Tower. Meanwhile, Steve continues to seem oblivious, as Peggy starts to get attention from many people, especially men, except for the one guy she wants it from.
**
“Have you no idea that you're in deep? I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep? Cause there's this tune I found That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat”
Peggy Carter was still getting used to the fact that department stores, shopping malls, and all stores otherwise carry more options ready-to-wear than she could imagine. But Peggy has never been one to let unfamiliar settings daunt her. Pepper offered to do a little shopping with or for Peggy, just to get her started, but Peggy is a go-getter. And if the modern woman can be a chameleon, she wants to enjoy figuring out what innovations she appreciates on her own. Although she did take the names of the brands that Pepper was wearing as a starting point.
And as she walks carefully around lacquered mannequins, through racks of blouses and displays of jeans described as 'skinny' and 'leggings,' Peggy hears a loud strange sound float in the store. Peggy drops the dark jeans she was inspecting and listens to the assertive drum beat fold into an electric string sound. She is mesmerized by the repetitive beat, moving her like an extension of her heartbeat. Then she catches snippets of the lyrics and she knows that she's just fallen in love with this strange music. And she desperately needs to know what it is.
She seeks the saleswoman who's folding sweaters and asks her if she knows what the music is called. The girl with the perfectly straight jet black hair tells her she's pretty sure it's an Arctic Monkeys song but immediately pulls out her phone offering to Shazam it for her. She helpfully explains the app when Peggy tells her she doesn't know what the means. Peggy tells her that she's still getting used to her iPhone but the girl doesn't seem to be put off from Peggy's lack of smart phone knowledge.
"They're like, rock music, alternative, I guess I'd call them," the girl tells her as they wait for the app to perform its magic. "They're a British band."
This seals it for Peggy. She knows next to nothing about what the hell alternative means but she already feels a kinship to the Arctic Monkeys, whoever they might be. With the song name, Peggy thanks the girl and takes her up on her offer to show her the new line of jeans the store just received. Peggy walks out with a new leather jacket (faux leather, she's learned), and a new pair or skinny jeans that Joy, the friendly saleswoman, told her make her legs look great. Peggy agrees even though they feel a bit strange.
**
Peggy still frowns at the sight of Steve every time that she sees him in the Tower, steadfastly looking away from him every time he tried to meet her gaze. This time he's walking up the stairs while Maria talks over the files she's glancing through. At the landing, after a quick pause to look at Peggy, Pepper and Natasha, nodding politely, they part ways and Steve heads down the hall. Maria collapses into the couch as Pepper leans forward to pour her coffee from the French press.
"Gramps all set for the mission?" Natasha asks.
"Ramping up to go," Maria replies.
"Guess that explains why he's wearing half of his suit," Natasha says with a sly smile.
"He runs a little hot," Peggy says automatically, in a bored tone.
"Oh, we know," Natasha quips, setting the three of them into fits of giggles.
Peggy rolls her eyes, not in the mood.
"Sorry Peggy," Pepper says sheepishly with a shrug. "He may be an idiot but he's very easy on the eyes."
"All those bulging muscles... His chest is bigger than mine," Maria adds, sighing a little.
Natasha smirks. "Can't deny he looks good in those tight shirts Carter," Natasha says.
“Oh please,” Peggy huffs, “as if I wasn't the first person to touch them," she says in an offhand voice.
They all laugh again as Maria whoops and even Pepper leans in when Natasha asks for that story.
**
Tony, Clint and Natasha spy on Peggy in the training rooms a little too often. But Peggy's been giving them so many opportunities, since she started working out as much as twice a day. They heed Natasha's warning not to disturb Peggy though, and instead commit to quietly watch in awe as Peggy shreds the equipment.
"Isn't this sexy rock music? Meant for a young crowd?" asks Tony.
"She is sexy," Clint bleats as Peggy continues her rotation of one-handed push-ups and leg extensions.
"Oh god, not you too," Natasha scoffs.
"What? You can't deny it," Clint retorts.
"Of course not. But you two are acting like pervy teenage boys. She's gorgeous. And she'd eat you both alive."
"I'm sorry, who's standing here with us?" Tony asks.
Natasha smirks. "Oh I have a different interest regarding this situation."
She leaves them confused and slightly worried, but not enough to prevent them from gawking at Carter.
**
Tony's curiosity has peaked. "J.A.R.V.I.S how many times has Peggy played that song?"
"Seventy three plays in the training room, sir. The total count for that album totals over two hundred."
Tony shakes his head. "No wonder it's stuck in my head."
**
Steve keeps attempting to find ways to talk to Peggy, maybe suggest they go to the coffee place she and the others seem to like so much. But he can't seem to find a good moment, or get his mouth to open at all around her. But after seeing her come back with a guy, he can't stop the angry jealousy. He think he's calmed down enough by the next day when he sees her at the team meeting. Tony suggested pizza afterwards and Steve takes the chance to ask Peggy to talk. He insists on finding a more quiet spot.
They find an empty room off the lounge. He just wants to talk, ask her how she is, but the conversation goes from nowhere to havoc in seconds. He seems to be offending her every time he opens his mouth and he starts to get frustrated at her constant frown.
"You seem to be getting along just fine," he says icily.
Peggy's crossed arms turn into dangerous fists at her hips. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"New clothes. New friends. Guess you've come up with a new you to go with your new life."
"And what would you have me do? Lock myself in this Tower? Pretend I'm still in the nineteen forties?"
Steve shrugs petulantly, his arms now crossed, tight against his chest. "Seems like you're just fine leaving everything else behind. Going out for drinks. Coming back at all hours."
The accusations in his tone sets Peggy off. "Who do you think you are? My keeper? My father? Who I spend my time with is none of your concern!"
"Yeah I see you keep making that clear. So that's it? You're just moving along with no interest in the girl I used to know? You have no interest in what I think?"
"What did you expect Steve? You brought me here, to a time where every single person I've known is dead!"
"I'm not!" Steve yells.
"Oh and look at how that's served me! When I wasn't the perfect fantasy you imagined you walked away." Peggy's voice breaks, and she feels her chest heaving.
"You think this is fun for me? That I belong here any more than you do?" Steve is practically screaming.
"Dammit Steve!" Peggy curses. "You have a team! You have a place here! You're just a bridge away from Brooklyn. I have no home and I can't even step on British soil because Peggy Carter doesn't exist. I don't even exist in this world! So you'll excuse me for not feeling sorry for you, for not looking back at what is no longer mine!"
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the-knife-consumer · 4 months
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I feel lame for not having many ocs tbh. Whatever i do what i want forever
#idk i feel like my entire art is only ever used on drawing pre existing characters#usually from popular ips i feel so shallow.#any ocs i make i never get attached to. and if i do im too nervous to post them#or like with my fandom intrests i love them so intensely and then a month or so later#i dont give a shit anymore. i wish i wasnt so reliant on pre existing characters with pre existing personalities to draw#my attention. and draw in general.#bc when im not in an intense intrest phase i cant draw for shit. thatd be a perfect time to draw my ocs right?#but i need to be intensely intrested to draw in the first place. and they aren't fleshed out they dont have content#yhere is no book or movie or show or game. ive gotta do all of that. but that passion isn't there#i get no big ideas for stories of my own. no characters with compelling backgrounds everytging i do#just feels like a rehash or repackaging of something else.#and insult to injury. usually i can pinpoint exactly which pre exosting character im ripping from#which nothing wrong witg inspiration. if it was anyone else i'd be like fuck yeag dude thats awesome#but because its me it feels like stealing stealing stealing i cant think of anything on my own so i must steal#idk. whatever.#i mean i do have ocs but i havent drawn them in fucking forever it feels like. and i love them ig#for once i cant really pinpoint where i pulled them from. but too nervous to post them on#this blog and also again. drawing them feels like a chore because the obsession isnt there#vent#whateverrrrr my interps are baller my lines are swagular. im gonna make it whatever#and also i feel like a flake with my intrests and its not deliberate but sometimes i feel like im#pullibg people in from fandoms then pulling a switcheroo gotcha on them by being invested#in something else#which obviously im fucking not thats stupid im not doing this on purpose#but it still feels so yuuuuucky like im sorry ik this isnt what you folloed me for. sorry#SJATEVER i win at art wbatever whatever
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nerosdayinanime · 10 months
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Please post more about giyu just dating everyone
i should...... gonna start right now cuz ive actually thought about mitsugiyu for the GiyuusFuckingSad au- when hes still moping around in the cafeteria corner she pops over because she saw shinobu, shinobu stops her excited rambling and explains that its Quiet Time and shes like 'oh! okay! i can be quiet!' and she just hangs around to doodle in her sketchbook across from them. giyuu once again baffled by another random girl deciding she wants to hang out near(with?) him when hes literally never said a word in response.
she sees him in the halls and tries to talk with him, he responds minimally but shes encouraged by any response at all and talks to him outside the cafeteria any chance she gets- giyuu's incredibly confused as to why she likes talking to him so much, but one time when he realizes he missed the turn to his class about three halls ago finally notices how much he enjoys listening to her stories (he ended up just walking her to class to hear the end of the story, he was a few minutes late when he got back to his own)
when shinobu starts inviting him to little outings with her friends mitsuri's the first to welcome him, kyojuro and suma quickly follow and hes. very overwhelmed. why did he get introduced to the loudest ones of the friend group first?? contrary to what he thought would happen though, they actually love him and despite how hype the three of them get (and how not hype he usually is) he doesn't ever feel left out or pushed to the side (physically speaking too- suma frequently hangs off him since hes the most stable one around now and mitsuri & kyojuro aren't hesitant to pull him in to make him focus on whatever they're talking about. he likes how free they are with affection towards him like that)
months later he's acquainted with and knows the whole group and they're all out at a restaurant chatting and having fun- giyuu notices how entranced everyone else is at kyojuro's retelling of a story and he can't help but think how much sabito would like them all... mitsuri stops paying attention to kyo and turns to him, "Giyuu? Are you okay?" "Yeah, why?" "You're crying"
the grief finally hits, the tears get heavier despite his attempts at drying them before he starts to panic and excuses himself- he practically runs out and mitsuri worriedly glances back at everyone before excusing herself and running after him. she follows him to the side of the restaurant in the little alley where hes having his breakdown and hugs him- he buries his face in her shoulder and holds back shaking like a leaf for a while before the worst of it passes. she asks what happened, "I-i just- he'd like you all.. he would've loved to meet you.." she knows who hes talking about- well.. she knows he was extremely important to giyuu, and that something happened and he's not around anymore, and that its extremely painful for giyuu to talk about so he just doesn't. she says shes honored by his thought and goes on to try to calm him down/cheer him up, his face looks a mess from the splotchy flush and eye liner- it got smudged to hell and back and hes a little embarrassed by it. only for a moment tho because mitsuri immediately offers to fix it for him. when they're finally ready to go back in they notice obanai standing at the entrance of the alleyway, blocking the view from outsiders. "aw! you're so thoughtful obanai!" "You two good to head back inside now?" "how long were you standing there?" "long enough, you worried everyone running off like that" "sorry.." "don't apologize, idiot. c'mon, lets go eat" and they followed an excited mitsuri back to the rest of the group.
after that mitsuri started inviting him to her apartment to practice makeup art on him since she knew he was okay with it. he was good at sitting still and he liked how gently she touched and moved his face however while she worked, quiet and serene with her music playing from the room over- the first thing she tried out was a simple little water-esque mark on his left cheek. when he was finally allowed to look at it he remembered the time when they were kids and sabito backhanded him there for saying he wished he had died with his sister. remembered how badly he wished he could have gone with sabito too. remembered his final words, 'promise me you'll love again'
he looks back up at mitsuri with a little smile, maybe that promise isn't as impossible for me to keep as i thought. "i like it" "oooh! i just had another idea! what if i made it look like a stream of water coming out the corners of your mouth!?"
#tomioka giyuu#kanroji mitsuri#giyumitsu#giyuu tomioka#mitsuri kanroji#mitsugiyu#loserboy giyuu posting#gfs au#most of this is actually canon to gfs au but this time with added emphasis on his relationship with mitsuri#shes so bubbly and kind its hard not to fall in love with her at least a little bit#(giyuu might also just have a thing for pink hair lmao)#((shit now im thinking of giyuu x sabito/mitsuri/akaza.. full set like.. cedes what have you done))#i imagine for this version at first obanai is kinda jealous bc giyuu's closer to her but hes too nervous to actually do anything about it#once giyuu and mitsuri actually start going out hes like 'well fuck. there goes my chance. guess i'll pine'#giyu however notices said pining and just straight up 'do you want to date mitsuri?' 'wh- no!' 'cuz i think she'd love#to have two boyfriends to dote on her- give tengen a run for his money' 'what.' 'you liked her since before we even met didnt you? thats#kinda sad. coming from *me*' 'shut up asshole. ..yes i wanna date mitsuri' 'cool. i'll talk with her abt it'#'wait youre not fucking w me rn??' 'no? why would i do that' 'idk.. rub salt in the wound..' 'im bad at cooking' 'ha ha.'#mitsuri w two loserboyfriends who love and adore her immensely<3<3#vauge other ideas for gfs au: movie night‚ pool party(turned skinny dipping)‚ mitsuri's microwaved stuffed animal#oo also giyuu helps her with outfits- if she finds something she likes or thinks would go great with an outfit but its not fitted right for#her he'll stitch it to fit her perfectly. he also buys her little things that remind him of her. lots of watermelon themed trinkets lmao#ough... i wanna draw them now...#its almost 3 tho and i cant...#...if i wasnt a pUSSY
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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I wonder how much time I actually spend on drawings cus like,,
Sometimes due to ADHD I’ll be drawing over the span of 7 hours and only come out with like, 1 or 2 half bodies...
But then other times I can whip out an overly detailed bust in a couple minutes so I really have no idea lol
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jiniretracha · 2 months
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I Don't Want You Like a Best Friend - Lee Felix
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Pairing: Felix x fem!reader
Warnings: smut!!, fluff (like so much), angst (if you squint), felix and readers being oblivious idiots in love.
Summary: You have been in love with Felix, your best friend, since the first time you laid your eyes on him. But you never said anything about it, too afraid to ruin your friendship that you treasured so much. So, when a pretty boy asks you out on a date, you accept, figuring it is the best way to get over your stupid crush. But your best friend doesn't seem so happy about it. Based on "Dress" by Taylor Swift.
Word Count: 6k
PS: I uploaded this on AO3 and thought it'd be fun to post it here as well!
MASTERLIST
There’s an indentation in the shape of you
“And? What do you think?” 
Felix lifted his head up as he heard you walking inside the room once again wearing the dress. His eyes widened and his heart started beating faster and louder. His gaze raked your body up and down a couple of times and he tried to play nonchalant.
“U-uh, you look very pretty, Y/N. He’ll love it” Felix smile.
Yes. He’ll love it. 
Truth is, you had met this cute guy at the coffee shop you and Felix frequently visit before you drop him at the studio every day. His name was Ashton. He had a charming smile and he had been brave enough to ask you for your phone number while complimenting your looks. You were almost a stuttering mess while you typed in your number in his phone, then he winked and left the coffee shop, leaving you with a slight blush in your cheeks. 
Felix had returned to you with both of your orders with a smile. You told him about Ashton and he had promised he would help you with him. Later that day, he asked you out on a date. Today’s date. 
You turned around and looked at yourself in the mirror, you liked the dress. It was a pretty cream colour with little flowers on it, a heart-like cleavage and lace on the pretty top. 
You were oblivious to Felix’s adoring eyes behind you. He was trying to memorize every single detail of your beautiful form. The heavy stone in his stomach was a bother, it was pure jealousy. And sadness too. 
He would’ve given anything to be the one who takes you on dates. 
“Thank you, Lix” you smiled at him. “Could you pass me those earrings please?”
“Of course, darling” he said, standing up and walking towards your nightstand. He came back with the earrings and gave them to you, as you smiled and thanked him. 
As you put the earrings on your earlobes, you started thinking. How would you like for Felix to be the one who is taking you on this date. You would love to be with him. It’s the only thing you’ve yearned and craved for years. You’d give up anything for Felix to crumble into his knees and beg you not to go. 
To stay with him. To be with him. 
You sighed as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You noticed that he hadn’t stopped staring at you. Why doesn’t he say something?
You turned to look at him and your gazes met. His breathing turned a little choppy, from the nervousness. He pressed his lips together, like he was about to say something and your eyebrows arched in desperation. 
“I-“
And then your phone started ringing. You clenched your eyelids and grabbed your phone that was sitting face up on the bed, making Felix catch who was calling: Ashton. 
“Hey” you said after clearing your throat. 
“Hey, Y/N” Ashton said. Felix frowned. No ‘pretty’, no ‘beautiful’, just Y/N. “I’m right outside, would you mind coming down?”
“Of course. Give me a couple of minutes” you faked a smile. He caught it. 
All of this silence and patience,
pining and anticipation
You got to the door and grabbed the keys. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous” you tried to shake off the anxiety lurking in your head. 
But Felix could read you like a fucking book. 
You weren’t nervous. 
You were aching. He knew you didn’t want to go. But why couldn’t he just say something?
“I- Y/N-“ he stammered. 
You looked into his eyes. “Yes?”
“I- I just-“
Ashton’s honk made you both startle. “What’s up?” you said impatiently. 
“N-nothing. Have a great time. Ashton’s really lucky” he said, giving you his signature tight-lipped smile and walking towards his room. 
You sighed as soon as he was out of view and pressed your eyes shut tightly, praying not to cry or else you would ruin your makeup. Or give yourself away. You opened the door and walked the steps of the stairs down. 
Felix locked himself in his room, his fists clenched against his sides as his back pressed itself to the door. He was so angry at himself. 
When did he become such a coward?
He heard commotion outside, from the open window of the balcony. He walked outside, and looked down. He saw Ashton, who had dark black hair, was big and bulky and was wearing formal clothes. 
Ashton was the total opposite as him. Felix had blonde hair, brown eyes and he liked to use beanies and wear baggy clothes with jewelry. 
Felix noticed that Ashton’s hands were empty. No flowers. 
He rolled his eyes. He just wished you would notice that he wasn’t right for you. Because what was right for you, was standing right above you. 
Staring hopelessly as you drove away.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
You arrived at the restaurant and Ashton led you towards the table he had reserved. 
“You like pizza, right?” he asked with a smile, as he sat down on his seat. 
With a blink of your eyes, you just stood staring at him. You were waiting for him to pull your chair out and help you in. Felix does that. You mentally rolled your eyes and smiled at him. “Yes, yes, I do” you slightly lied as you took a seat. It’s not that you didn’t like pizza… it’s just that it would’ve been nice if he’d ask you what you like. Felix would’ve- STOP. 
You scolded yourself mentally and tried to focus on the man in front of you. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“So, what music do you like?” Ashton asked. 
You put your glass down and smiled. “Oh, well, I’m into pop music, mostly. I like k-pop, too. A lot” you nodded. “My best friend’s in-“ you stopped yourself. 
“He’s…?” he trailed off waiting for you to continue. 
“He’s in a band”
“A k-pop band?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing with a smile.
“Yeah. They’re great, actually” you smiled. “What do you listen to?”
Ashton sighed. “Well, I’m into country music”
“Oh, like… what? Taylor Swift, Shania Twain, Little Big Town?” you asked, remembering a couple of bands and singers you liked.
“Nah, they sound too pop for me” he nodded with a shrug. “I’m more into Morgan Wallen”
Yikes.
“Right” you trailed off. 
“He’s great. You should listen to his music, actually” 
I pass. “Yeah, sure. I’ll listen to some of his stuff” you faked a promise. 
You couldn’t stop thinking about him. Every little thing he said or did, you compared it to what Felix did. He was so different from him.
Ashton kept talking and you couldn’t help but wander your eyes around his features. He was so different. He wasn’t ugly. Not at all. He was very handsome. You knew that you could easily date this guy. He was sweet. But he was nothing like him. He wasn’t Felix. 
“Hey, you okay?” Ashton woke you up from your daydreaming by putting his palm on top of the back of your hand. “You look like you were gone for a couple of seconds” he chuckled. 
You smiled slightly at him and then shook your head. “Y-yeah, it’s just uh-“
“Here you go, guys” the waiter came with their order. “A margherita with garlic” he said and placed the pizza in the middle of the table. 
“Thank you” Ashton nodded. 
Once the waiter was gone, Ashton smiled.
“Shall we?” 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Felix was staring at his phone. 
He was busy texting Chan, who was the only person that he had confessed his feelings towards you. The other band members were aware, because Felix made it too obvious, but the blonde hadn’t said anything to them. 
Felix: I don’t know what to do, man.
Chan: Why didn’t you try to stop her?
Exactly. Why didn’t he try to stop her?
The answer was pretty simple.
Felix: Because I’m a coward.
Felix: That’s why.
He sighed, staring at the ceiling. It was eating him up. 
Chan: You’re not. But seriously, you need to tell her, man. 
He’s right. 
Chan: Or else, when will you do it? What if Y/N really likes the guy and decides to pursue a romantic relationship with him?
Shit. 
What if you really liked this dude?
Chan: Think about it. 
He really needed you home. 
He needed to tell you.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
You chewed on the pizza while Ashton was telling you an anecdote from one of his friends. You had lost the story’s thread a long time ago and at this point, you were just staring at his forehead with only one thing in mind: getting home to Felix. 
“Y/N?” he asked with a frown. 
Shit. This was like the third time you had zoned out. 
“Hey, are you okay? I promise I won’t get mad, but is there something going on?”
You bit your lip and then released it. “No- I mean, yes” you stammered. 
“What is it? Do you feel okay, do you-“
“No, Ashton, just-“ you cut yourself off with a huff. “I need to go home”
“Oh-“
“By myself” you clarified when you saw him start to grab his stuff. “I’m so sorry, really. You seem like a very good guy but-“
“You like someone else, am I right?” Ashton smiled sadly.
You pressed your lips together. “No.”
Ashton nodded. “You love someone else”
He wasn’t asking. It was a statement.
And then you nodded. 
“I get it. I do, too” Ashton said, his face red. “I- I’m sorry too. I used this excuse of a date to get over someone. And I’ve been trying so hard but-“
“You just can’t get them out of your head” you completed.
“Exactly” Ashton said with a chuckle.
“I know” you smiled. “I’m sorry”
“No, don’t apologise. I figured” he shrugged. 
“At least let me pay. I mean, you really tried to be nice and I just kept zoning out” You tried.
“It’s okay, Y/N, I promise”
“No, it’s not. Really” you pleaded.
Ashton smiled. “Alright. But only if we split the check… and I get to take the pizza home” he smirked.
You chuckled. “You got yourself a deal, mister”
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Felix opened the kitchen cabinet and took out the brownie jar, leaving it on the counter. He then stared at it. 
You made your mark on me,
a golden tattoo
You were everywhere. Including in that stupid jar of brownies. It reminded him how he had made them for you. Because he knew you absolutely loved his baking. 
A key digging into the keyhole startled him and he put the jar away, choosing not to eat due to the heavy anxiety sitting at the pit of his tummy. 
You got inside the apartment, panting heavily. 
His eyebrows furrowed as he saw you close the door quickly and throw your stuff on the couch. “Hey, you’re home early. Everything okay?” he asked, getting worried. 
“I know… I’m fine” you said, getting nervous all of a sudden. 
Felix nodded, leaning against the counter. “How did it go?” he asked shyly. 
You sighed and looked away. “Um… terrible” you chuckled to yourself.
Felix felt ashamed, but he was kind of glad to hear that. “Oh. I’m- I’m sorry to hear that, darling” he told you, lying. 
“Well, I’m not” you said, feeling your heartbeat getting louder and faster by the second.
His eyebrows furrowed. “Why’s that? Did he do something to you?” he asked, getting angry. 
“No, no, no” you quickly shook your head. “He was nice, and… polite. But he wasn’t… he just wasn’t…” you stammered. 
Felix started walking towards you. “Hey… tell me” he said, putting his hands on your bare shoulders. “He wasn’t what?”
You swallowed, feeling your throat getting dry, like sandpaper. “He just wasn’t you” you whispered.
But he caught it. He felt his heart drop. You couldn’t have just said that, did you?. “What?” he asked, confused. 
You looked away and took in a deep breath. “I was just dressing up for someone that I wish that it was you… I wished you would’ve told me not to go on that date. To stop me. I wish the date I went on today… I wish my date had been you, Felix” you confessed. 
He blinked a couple of times, trying to let the new information sink in, while his hands on your shoulders dropped to rest by his sides. 
“I kept… comparing him to you” you told him. “Every single thing he did, I just kept thinking what you would’ve done. Or said. Or the things he didn’t do, and how I know you would’ve done. Like- fuck, like pulling my chair for me to sit in” you chuckled slightly. “Cause you’re in my mind all the time. You’re all I think about, Lix. And it drives me crazy”
Felix shook his head. “Y/N-“
“I know. I’m sorry” you apologized. “This is a lot. I know. And I get it if you don’t feel the same, I do-“
Your rambling was cut short when a pair of hands grabbed your cheeks and pulled you into the most magical kiss of your entire life. He was holding your head still, angling it so he could kiss you as he liked, pushing his tongue into your mouth, while it curled with yours. His kiss had swallowed your surprised gasp, turning into a moan that vibrated against his lips. 
Felix pulled away from your mouth and pressed his forehead against yours, your breaths mingling together as you panted from the intensity of your first kiss. 
“Y/N…” he mumbled in a desperate hush.
Say my name and everything just stops,
I don’t want you like a best friend
“I love you” he whispered, making you gasp internally. “I’ve always loved you, in fact. I was just- just so fucking terrified of you rejecting me and I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship” 
You smiled, shaking your head. “Felix… how is it possible that you didn’t notice how head over heels in love I am with you?” you asked him, with a chuckle.
Felix pressed a long kiss to your lips. “I love you” he said, looking into your eyes. “I-“ kiss. “love-“ kiss. “you-“ kiss. “so-“ kiss. “much” he finished with an open-mouthed kiss that made your knees wobble. 
His kiss made you warm inside… and another place. You shifted, pressing your thighs together as he continued kissing the life out of you. 
With a pant, you pulled away slightly, your noses rubbing against each other’s. “Lix…”
“Yeah?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your nose. 
“Take me to bed” you whispered.
He pulled his face back with a pained groan. “Y/N, I want to, I swear but… I wanna do this right. I want to take you out on a date and-”
“Me too, I know, but I need you right now. So bad” you pleaded, your eyes searching his. 
Felix was only human. He couldn’t resist such temptation, and the fact that you were literally begging him to fuck you. He saw it in your eyes. 
He took you by surprise by crouching down slightly, placing his palms on the back of your thighs and hoisting you up, making you squeal in surprise. You crossed your legs behind his back and pressed your lips against his as he walked with you in his arms towards his bedroom. 
You didn’t know how he managed to walk with you in his arms while kissing him without bumping into anything. He kicked the door open and walked towards the bed, throwing you into the center of it. You bounced on the mattress with a surprised gasp and stared at him with doe eyes as his hand went to the back of the neck from his shirt, pulling it over his head, and throwing it on the floor. 
Felix decided to give you a show and clenched his stomach, showcasing his very defined abs. 
That motherfucker, you thought to yourself. 
“See something you like?” he teased you, with a smirk, as he watched you stare deeply at his stomach.
Your eyes met his and you let your head fall onto your shoulder. “Oh, yeah, pretty much everything” you said, letting your eyes dance over his figure. 
Felix smirked and moved his hand to the belt of his jeans, unfastening it torturously slow and throwing it where he had thrown the shirt before. He then crawled up to your shivering frame and put his hands on each side of your head, dipping his head to catch your lips into a drugging kiss. 
Your hands grabbed at his back, trying to pull him to drop his weight on top of you and he obeyed, pressing his hips first so that his bulge was pressing against your crotch, making both of you groan. Your nails dug into his back as you continued kissing, definitely marking him up. 
His hands traveled to the edge of your dress, his hands dipping under it and caressing your soft skin. His kisses drifted to your neck, biting your soft flesh, making you gasp. 
“You’re so beautiful” he mumbled against your skin. He licked at a certain spot in your neck and then bit it, making your arch your back. “So, so beautiful” 
Suddenly, he pulled away completely, grabbing your arms to sit you up. He turned you around softly, making you kneel on the bed, facing the wall. His soft fingers caressed the zip of your dress, grabbing at it and slowly pulling it down all the way. His hands dipped inside of the dress and pulled it off, and he stared at your braless back. The dress was pooling at your waist by now and you swallowed, trying to find the courage to turn around and reveal yourself. 
He dropped a kiss to the side of your neck, sensing your nervousness. 
You turned around slowly, looking into his eyes, as his dropped down immediately to your chest, noticing how they were black at this point from lust. 
You felt nervous under his gaze and you couldn’t help but say something.
“It’s for you…” you breathed out. 
His eyes fluttered a couple of times and looked at you. “What?” he mumbled, confused. 
“I bought it for you. The dress…” you said, licking your lips and trying to find the words that were threatening to die on your throat. “I wanted you to see me in it… I wanted you to take it off from me” 
Only bought this dress so you could take it off. 
Felix let out a ragged breath out, cupping your face and bringing you into another drugging kiss. His hot breath hitting your upper lip and the way his hands slid from your cheeks to your back, made you arch your back and press your bare chest against his. The skin to skin contact made you shiver and you both groaned. 
Your hands were gripping his wrists, as he continued kissing you as he liked. 
His hands drifted to where your dress was sitting, bunched on your waist, and he grabbed it, pulling it off. 
The action made you stumble on the bed slowly on your back as you lifted your hips up so he could take off the dress completely.
Once he got it out, he chucked it on the floor and got on top of you once again. He dug his face into your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin, and his mouth started to drift further down your body. At this point, he was leaving dark purple marks on your skin, but you didn’t mind. Not one bit. 
His hot mouth stopped at the valley of your breasts, his hands enveloping each one and letting his thumb run across your nipple, making you shudder and let out a whine. 
Felix bit into your skin and then pressed your breasts together, burying his head into your chest, letting his lips suckle and bite at your nipples. Your hands carded through his hair and held him in place as his ministrations made you moan. 
“Lix, please” you whined, pressing the back of your head against the pillow. 
He suckled once and lifted his head to stare at you. “What? What do you want, baby?” he asked in a whisper. 
“I- I just…”
“Use your words” he urged.
You swallowed and propped yourself on your elbows, staring at him with a soft panting. “I want you to go lower” you told him, trembling and slightly scared of his reaction. 
You had asked him to do something that no one had done to you before. 
He smirked and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, then pulled away to continue kissing his way down to your stomach. He bit at the skin close to your navel as his hands caressed your skin down to your thighs, opening them up. 
Felix pressed a kiss to your pubic bone, over your panties, and then his fingers curled on the band of the lace, tugging them down your long legs torturously slow. 
You got shy and nervous all of a sudden and pressed your thighs together. You felt a little stupid, knowing that you were the one that had asked him to do that. His hands grabbed your thighs and gently pulled them apart, sending you a wink and a little smile, reassuring you it was okay. 
His gaze settled on your core and you blushed, feeling your face turn hot. Felix let his fingers dance your slit, collecting the wetness pooling there. He then pressed his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a groan. 
With an animalistic groan, he dove his face into your core, dipping his fingers inside of you and sucking on your clit. Your back arched violently as your fingers gripped on his hair, pressing his head into your heat. You moaned in surprise and tugged on Felix’s hair, making him groan against your flesh. He liked that.
He scissored his fingers, dragging them against your walls. 
“Yeah, just like that, Lix. Fuck” you moaned breathily. 
His free hand caressed and gripped your thigh as he continued his ministrations. He pulled out his fingers and licked them clean, once again. Then, his tongue licked over your hole and pressed the tip of it inside of you. 
“Fuck, I’m close, Lix” you said, continuing to grip his hair tightly, pressing him against your cunt. 
His thumb rubbed tight circles on your clit, making your back arch and release your orgasm on his tongue with a long moan. You laid gasping, with your hands on your stomach as he pressed kisses on your shaking thighs and caressing your skin. “You okay, beautiful?” he asked, crawling towards you to press a kiss on your cheek. 
You nodded, curling your arms around his neck and bringing him closer. His mouth went to kiss your neck once again, laying half of his weight on top of you.
“This is all I’ve wanted” he whispered against your neck, his deep voice vibrating against your skin making you shiver. Your fingers caressed the back of his neck, his words were making your heart beat louder. “All I’ve dreamed about” he whispered, kissing your flesh.
“God, me too” you whispered back. “You’re all I want”
Felix lifted his head and pressed his forehead against yours. “I love you” 
“I love you” you said to him with a smile and kissed him, trying to show him all the love you held in your heart for him. 
Inescapable, I’m not even going to try
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
One of his hands made its way to your head, holding you in place while the other drew patterns on the skin of your waist, gripping it a little. He pulled away from the kiss, stared at your mouth and pressed two more kisses.
Your hands that were on his neck, made their way down to his jeans, unbuttoning them. “Take them off” you whispered against his mouth, kissing him again. 
He pressed two more kisses to your mouth and lifted himself from on top of you to take his jeans, letting them drop on the floor as he stepped out of them. 
The bulge in his boxers made you whimper and bit your lip. He saw your face and smirked, hooking his fingers in the waistband and pulling them down his legs, standing naked in front of you. 
He crawled back on top of you, claiming your mouth in a kiss full of tongue and heavy breathing. You moaned, grabbing his arm with one hand and the other one pressed against his chest. 
The hand on his chest drifted down to his pelvis, curling around his erection, making him groan and bite your lip. 
“What- what are you doing?” he asked, pulling away from your mouth, his eyebrows furrowing and twisting in pleasure as your hand started moving up and down over his shaft, his thumb wiping his tip. 
You smirked, sticking your tongue out and licking his lips sensually. “Returning the favor” you whispered hotly against his lips. 
He let you continue for a few seconds before grabbing your wrist and pulling it away from his shaft. “Next time, okay? I wanna come inside of you” he said, kissing your cheek. 
You nodded and smiled when he pressed more kisses to your cheeks. “Do you have a condom?” you asked. 
He pulled away and stuck his arm out to his nightstand, pulling out a condom from the first drawer. Felix lifted himself up slightly, rolling the condom on his cock and then went back to his last position on top of you. 
The head of his cock nudged your entrance, making you gasp and dig your nails on his shoulders. His nose brushed against yours as he slid inside of you, swallowing your gasp with a kiss. 
He bottomed out, giving you a couple of seconds to adjust to his thick length. His hands were gripping the sheets tightly, trying to refrain from driving into you at a wild pace. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding kind of strangled. 
“Yeah, yeah” you nodded breathily. “You can move”
“Fuck” he whispered, pressing his face against your neck and started to snap his hips against yours. “Fuck, you’re so tight, baby” he groaned. 
You moaned with every thrust, your nails raking his back. “Oh, God, Lix” you gasped in a whine, feeling full and overwhelmed, in the best kind of way possible.
His hips were moving steadily as his mouth enveloped yours, trying to hold the urge to slam his hips against yours. One of his hands went to one of your breasts, gripping it tightly, his thumb sliding over your nipple, making you cry out. 
“Lix, faster… please” you pleaded, and it was enough for him to grab your thigh, pulling it over his waist and fucking you deeper and faster, the sinful sound of skin slapping on skin invading the room in a constant echo. “God! Just like that” you continued whispering his name over and over, like a prayer.
“You’re so beautiful” he whispered against your lips before claiming your mouth with a kiss. “I love you. You’re the love of my life, Y/N. It’s always been you” he continued whispering against your lips, getting closer to the edge with every thrust. 
“I’m yours… yours. All yours” you gasped when you felt his fingers starting to rub circles on your clit, trying to get you closer to your orgasm. “Lix- Lix, I’m close, so fucking close”
“Good, come with me, baby. I need you to come” he said, sticking his tongue out and licking your throat and then biting your skin, making you clench around him, finding the action super hot. “God, you’re so tight” he babbled.
You arched your back as you felt your orgasm rush through you in a hot wave across your body, making you moan and curl your fingers on his bicep, digging his nails against the skin. 
Felix’s face fell to your neck as he thrust hard a couple of times before spilling inside the condom with a moan muffled against your skin. His body shook with aftershocks from the earth-shattering orgasm he just had as he felt his body go limp and fall against yours.
You wrapped your limbs around him, holding him tightly against you as you both tried to regain your breathing. Your hands caressed his back while your nose nuzzled against the shell of his ear. 
Felix lifted his head up and looked down at her, his eyes searching yours. He then smiled, pressing his mouth against yours, his hand caressing your hair. 
He pulled away and you saw the love in his eyes. How lucky you were.
You could live like this, knowing that there was so much love inside of him. For you. He loved you. 
Yes, you were so lucky. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
You threw your head back in laughter, holding your glass of wine as Felix made you laugh, telling some stupidity as you both felt the effects from the alcohol running through your veins. 
You both decided to jump into the bath after two more rounds of passionate sex and treat yourselves with some wine. 
“God, I don’t know how you dated her” you laughed. “She was so dumb”
“Yeah, I know” he nodded, looking away. “She- truth is, and I’m gonna sound like an asshole, but… I dated her because she looked like you” he said. 
You pulled your face back in surprise. Felix had dated this bimbo named Julia a couple of months ago, and now that you recall her face, she did look like you. 
“Wow” you giggled. “Yeah… she did” 
Felix groaned, burying his face into the palm of his hand. 
“Don’t be embarrassed” you told him, getting closer to him, placing your palm on his cheek, urging him to look at you with a nudge. “Hey, look at me” you said, and Felix slowly looked at you and you noticed the pretty blush sitting on his cheeks, giving his freckles a colorful background. “It’s alright, we’ve all had our moments to forget about someone. I mean, I cannot blame you. I literally just came from a date hours ago, one that I went to forget about you”
“Yeah, and look how that went” Felix said with a smirk.
“Oh, it went good” you smirked, climbing on top of him, with the glass in your hand. Your knee slid a little, making you stumble a bit and he grabbed your waist to steady you, the movement causing to make you spill some of the red liquid on the water. 
“No! Careful” Felix laughed, making you laugh back.
“I almost slipped, I’m sorry” you chuckled, leaving the glass on the floor and curling your arms around his neck. 
You two stared at each other and you felt his wet, warm hands sliding over your back in a sweet caress. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” he said, pressing kisses on your face. “Ethereal, I swear to God” he whispered, making you bite your lip.
“Are you even real?” you whispered. “I think I’m just imagining you” 
Felix made a movement with his pelvis, making his hard on nudge against your core. “Do you think that’s fake?” he asked, his deep voice making you clench around nothing.
You gasped, your nails digging into his back. “No… no, that’s definitely real” you gasped. 
I’m spilling wine in the bathtub
You kiss my face and we’re both drunk
Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
You looked at yourself in the mirror after finishing the last touches of blush on your cheeks. Your fingers glided over the pretty dress that you had bought. For him. For the right person. 
Your person.
A vibration made you look down to the phone laying on the bathroom counter. 
Felix: You ready, my love?
You giggled at the message, feeling like a little kid. You quickly replied, telling him that you were going and left the bathroom, putting your stuff inside your purse. 
Sliding your shoes on your feet, you felt your heart starting to beat faster in nervousness, but in excitement as well. 
This was going to be the best date ever. Not because of what you were doing. But because of who you were going with. 
You opened the door of your bedroom and saw him standing there with a nervous smile and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Your favourite flowers. 
With a gasp, your hands flew to cover your mouth. 
“Baby” you whispered, extending your hands to grab the bouquet. “Oh my God, I don’t know what to say. They’re so beautiful”
Felix smiled in pride, seeing your face and how it lit up when you saw the flowers. “Do you like them?” he asked, getting a little shy.
“Like them?” you gasped with a smile. “I love them, honey. I love you” you said, curling your free arm around his neck and bringing him into a passionate kiss. 
HIs hands fell to your waist, pulling you closer against him. 
“I love you” you whispered again into his lips.
“I love you” he whispered back. “So, so much” 
As he continued to press kisses into your mouth, you started to wonder: how were you deserving of such a wonderful man? So attentive, so caring and thoughtful. 
“I don’t deserve you” you let it slip up.
Felix’s eyebrows furrowed, pulling his face back, getting serious out of a sudden. “Don’t say that” he whispered. “Of course you do. We deserve each other. We deserve to be with each other after so much waiting. After so much pining” he said, caressing your cheek with the back of his fingers.
You looked at him, tears pooling in your eyes.
“Hey, no, don’t cry” he said with a smile, making you mirror his expression, letting out a laugh as a single tear rolled down your cheek and he caught it, brushing it away. “Come on, as much as I’d like to stare at your pretty face all day… we have a date going on” he smirked.
You bit your lip and you kissed him. “Let’s go” you smiled at him.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
And I woke up just in time, 
now I wake up by your side.
With a content sigh, your eyes fluttered open and stretched your limbs, feeling your cheek squished against your lover’s chest. You cranked your neck to stare at his pretty face, still asleep. 
Hoisting yourself on your elbows, you admired all his facial features. His beautiful nose.
His perfect lips. 
His lashes.
His freckles.
God, his freckles. Did they made you weak in the knees. 
You bit your lip, wondering how the hell was this man yours. He had seen you at your worst. And he still stayed. 
Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me
Flashback to my mistakes,
my rebounds,
my earthquakes
Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me
He was everything to you. He had you, in the palm of his hand. He could crush you, in any second, he could do anything he wanted with you. And he chose to cherish you. Love you. Worship you. 
He was your angel. And your sunshine. 
His eyes fluttered open and smiled when he caught your face. 
“Hello handsome” you whispered, placing your hand on his cheek, caressing his supple skin. 
He let out a breath, out of content. “Hello, beautiful”
Yeah, he was your everything.
My one and only,
my lifeline.
1K notes · View notes
satoruxx · 2 months
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pairing: toji fushiguro x reader | 1.2k words summary: fluff, toji being his sarcastic asshole self, but secretly a softie, more grumpy x sunshine content to feed the soul, reader is a uni student, toji ACTUALLY having MONEY???? rheya's note: more grumpy toji bc i'm in love w him !! this is lowkey not great but i have nothing else to post so here <33
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you drum your fingers against your lips, eyes scouring the racks of pastries and sweets to satisfy the steady rumble brewing low in your stomach.
a quick snack before your final exam—that's the plan. so you let your eyes wander until they fall on a warm croissant, looking oh so delectable with its crusted flakes and buttery goodness. so you smile to yourself and head over to the register, eager to get your hands on the snack after a long morning of hard work and studying.
you wait patiently behind the customer in front of you, tapping your foot idly as you scroll on your phone to pass the time, until the cashier calls you up with a wave of his hand.
"what can i get for you?" he asks, and you immediately tap your finger against the glass.
"a croissant please."
he nods, reaching out to grab it with a napkin before dropping it into a paper bag. you fiddle with your wallet, pulling out your credit card and handing it to him, but his expression turns slightly awkward.
"oh sorry," he winces, turning around a sign next to the register. there in bold letters it reads: CARDS NOT ACCEPTED. CASH ONLY.
your shoulders drop, fingers frantically digging into the crevices of your wallet even though you know there isn't any cash in there.
dammit. should've gone to the bank to withdraw some after tipping the delivery guy last week.
"i don't think i have cash on me…" you trail off, face heating up because you're sure that the customers waiting behind you are now slightly ticked off.
the cashier scratches at his wrist awkwardly, giving you a half apologetic shrug. "sorry…"
your face twists, embarrassment thrumming low in your stomach as you shut your wallet with a resigned sigh. "it's fine, you can just leave it—"
"i got it." a deep voice utters from behind you, tone careless. you turn to look over your shoulder only to find your throat going dry, because whoever you were expecting to see was nothing like what this man looked like.
a towering, imposing build, heavy with muscle. sharp, angular features framed by jet black hair that just barely tickled his neck. and deep green eyes that are staring down at you, emotionless. the only change in his features is the tug of his scarred lips when they take in your wide eyed expression.
"oh—uh—" you stumble, caught off guard, the words coming up all jumbled like you've forgotten how to speak. the man moves closer, now hovering right behind you as he reaches a bulky arm out to drop a few bills onto the counter. you inhale sharply, not expecting the proximity.
"that about cover it?" he tilts his head at the cashier, who has gone quiet. he nods, too quickly, a nervous dip in his brows that you don't quite comprehend. but then you glance at the man again—at his hulking frame and narrowed eyes and his unkind expression, and you guess you understand.
and yet, nothing about him is inherently scary. he's intimidating, but in an oddly comforting way.
"a-and anything for you sir?" the cashier asks, giving the man a nervous smile.
"coffee. black." his tone is clipped, unbothered, and the cashier nods. he reaches over and hands you your bagged croissant.
"then if you could just wait to the side and we'll have your coffee ready in a minute, sir."
the man nods once, glancing at you briefly before taking a few steps to wait to the side.
"thank you," you say quietly, feeling oddly parched as you look at him. he peers down at you with those striking eyes, and you offer him a smile—half sheepish and half grateful.
"don't worry about it," he replies with a shrug, casually shoving his hands into his pockets. "couldn't have you holdin' up the line."
he nods behind you, motioning to the line, and you huff indignantly, ignoring the flare up of embarrassment once again.
"well if they put the sign on the door then i wouldn't have walked in here like an idiot," you mutter, crossing your arms. he chuckles, low and deep, shaking his head with amusement.
"'s true," he grins. "pretty fuckin' stupid of them."
you don't expect him to agree, so you just nod, mildly surprised.
"you look like you haven't eaten all day," he comments offhandedly, glancing around the cafe like he's bored. you fiddle with your hair somewhat self-consciously, and he glances down at you from the corner of his eyes. "i just mean you look exhausted."
"oh," you reply lamely, a helpless shrug of your shoulders following. "well i have a final exam in an hour and i didn't get much sleep last night."
"at least you studied hard," he hums, reaching out over the counter to take the cup of black coffee the barista hands him. he turns to look down at you with a haphazard shrug. "you did what you could. no point stressin' about it now."
"i guess…" you trail off. "still nervous though."
his lips curl upward, eyes glinting. "you should be more confident in yourself, kid." he takes a sip, tilting his head down at you, before turning and heading out into the cold.
you stare after him, not sure what to do with yourself. somehow you didn't expect it to be so easy to talk to a man who looked like he wanted to burn the world to the ground, but surprises can come in all shapes and forms.
and for some reason, his intimidating aura and indifferent stare has you oddly curious.
it's only when you peer into your paper bag, seeing the croissant that you've heroically been gifted, do you come up with a plan, pushing the door open and hurrying out into the cold. your eyes immediately catch his retreating figure, still large and imposing even with how he's hunched over to escape the bite of the cold.
"wait!" you call out after him, catching yourself before you trip on your own two feet. he pauses, turning to look down at you while arching a brow as you try to compose yourself. "uh—"
"toji." he fills in, huffing quietly as his hands remain shoved deep into his pockets.
"toji," you repeat, not admitting to enjoying the way it rolls off of your tongue so easily. "i need to pay you back."
he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "ah, don't worry about it, doll." the scar on his lips tilt upward into a half smirk. "just ace that test of yours, yeah?"
something leaps in your ribcage, and you blame the flush crawling up your neck on the stinging cold. you're not sure what to say for a second, but then an unfamiliar confidence crawls through your veins, culminating in a burst of determination.
"i'll buy you something here next time!" you don't know how or why you say it, lips clamping shut because you're sure that you're coming on too strong or coming off weird or something.
a low chuckle. you look up in surprise.
"sure." toji's grin widens, eyes shining with mirth. "i'll hold you to that one, kid."
and later, when you bite into the croissant, it's warmer than you expected it to be.
777 notes · View notes
janaispunk · 1 month
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sun is going down
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chapter 1 • series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.
word count: ~2.2k
tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury, blood, guns, i think that’s it?
a/n: i’m ridiculously nervous about sharing this story, it has been on my mind for over a year and i’ve been too intimidated to start working on it for the longest time. i really hope that someone likes it haha
follow @janaispunknotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)
dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍
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The alarm goes off in the middle of the night. You shoot up, your body on high alert, your heart beating rapidly, before your mind is even fully awake.
Probably just a false one, you try telling yourself as you make your way to the office. You’ve never had a false alarm, but– one can hope, right?
The place is plunged into darkness, no windows for any moonlight to seep through. You turn on the camera feed, squinting at the grainy screen. There’s movement in the living room, two people, from what you can make out. Not infected, judging from the way they’re moving, but one of them seems to be injured. Please don’t be raiders. There isn’t much to loot in the house, but the anxiety is already settling in your chest, threatening to crawl up your throat.
You turn on the sound and a panicked girl’s voice rings through the room as if you were standing right next to her.
“Fuck, Joel, wake up. Joel, please–”
It’s eerily similar to words that you’ve said once, the memory still fresh, even now. You wonder if your voice was as thick with tears then as that girl’s is right now.
Not again. Not in this house, not while you’re watching, unable to do anything. Not again.
You still hear it, the echo in your mind clear as ever. Keep them safe. Promise me. The promise you failed to keep.
Unblinking, you stare at the screen, your mind running a mile a minute. This could be a trap. They could have been watching, could have somehow figured you out. Or, the tiny voice in the back of your head insists, or they really need help.
The girl is pleading for the man to hold on, to not fall asleep. The desperation in her tone is tearing at you, urging you into action. Fuck it, you have to do something.
You grab your gun from the wall and slowly make your way up the stairs, ignoring the anxious trembling in your hands. Maybe this is how you die.
Leaning your back against the wall, you take a deep breath, a fruitless attempt to calm yourself, and switch on the lamp outside. You can’t hear them anymore, but knowing that the living room is now bathed in light, you’re certain that they’re on high alert now. Shit shit shit. You steel yourself, undo the complicated lock and push the heavy door open.
Please don’t let it be a trap.
They’re both staring at you, a young girl standing in front of a man, lying on the ground, taking panting breaths. She’s pointing a gun straight at you, as if she’s trying to shield his larger body with hers. The weapon looks much too big in her hands.
The memory of a similar image tugs at the back of your mind, but you shove it away. Stay in the present, stay right here.
You clear your throat, raising your hands slightly. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to another living person. Your voice cracks.
“I– I don’t mean you any harm. I live here, I saw you on– on the cameras.”
The girl furrows her brow, her eyes flitting across the room.
“They’re hidden, you won’t– Listen, I just want to help, I promise.”
The sound of your voice wavers, almost unfamiliar to your own ears. The girl lowers her gun a fraction, but the distrust is written all over her face. You can’t blame her. You clear your throat again, willing your hands to stop shaking.
“Your dad, is he– has he been bitten?” Please say no, please say no, please say no.
She shakes her head quickly. An expression that you can’t place flies over her features. Thank god.
“He’s not my– no. He got– he got stabbed.”
You can tell that she tries to sound strong, brave, but you recognize the panic in her eyes. You see it often enough when you look into the mirror.
You take another steadying breath. You can do this.
“Okay. I can help with that, if– if you want. I have medicine, bandages…”
Hope flashes over her face, mixed with the obvious conflict of not trusting you.
“You can come downstairs, it’s safer there. I– I should turn the lights back off.”
You’re painfully aware of how bright the house must shine through the darkness, from how far away it’s probably visible right now. Your nerves are fluttering anxiously.
“I don’t mean to hurt you, I swear. Just– let me help you.”
She swallows, hard, and fixes you with a stare.
“It’s just you down there?”
You nod in silent confirmation, not trusting your voice on this. It’s the first time you’ve ever had to admit it to anyone but yourself.
The girl sighs, her head turning between you and the man behind her a few times, surely seeking guidance from him, but his eyes are halfway shut, his lips trembling. Your gaze falls on the dark red stain on his shirt.
Don’t look, don’t think- Just focus on this, right now, right here.
You tell her your name, promise again that it’s safe. Finally, she nods timidly.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” You nod back at her, give her a small smile that she doesn’t return. “I’ll come closer now, we’ll carry him, alright?”
The girl looks at the man again. Her body tenses when you near them, but together you manage to get him back on his feet and half walk, half carry him. You push the door open wider and heave him down the stairs.
In the back of your mind, you take note of the sound of multiple feet walking down the steps, and how long it’s been since… No. Stay in the present.
You prop him up on the couch, where the girl keeps hovering by his side while you rush up again to close and lock the door and turn off the lights. Next, you throw open the bathroom cabinet, gathering all the material that you might need.
You return and crouch down beside him, lying your things out on the table, and take a closer look, your fingers halting over him. He’s watching you through lidded eyes, a sheen of sweat on his pale face.
“What’s his name?” you ask, looking up at the girl.
“Joel,” she answers reluctantly. “I’m Ellie.”
“Hi, Ellie.” You hope your smile looks sincere, not betraying how nervous you are right now. How shaky the sight of his blood-soaked shirt makes you feel.
“Okay, Joel?” you address him directly. He only manages a tired hum in return. “I’m gonna clean this and try stitching you up. It’s gonna hurt, I have painkillers, if you–”
But he shakes his head, humming again.
“Alright,” you sigh, and get to work.
You explain what you’re doing with every step, to calm both their and your own nerves. You know how to do this, you’ve trained for this. The wound doesn’t look too deep and you pray that there’s no organ damage involved, because you don’t have the means to treat that properly, but it doesn’t look like it. There seems to be an infection spreading though, so you gather some antibiotics as well, hoping that they’ll still work the way they’re supposed to. Joel inhales sharply a few times, but seems to be out of it for most of the time, which you’re grateful for.
“How did this happen?” you ask, looking up at Ellie who’s still standing beside you, watching intently over what you’re doing.
“Raiders,” she mutters. “It was a broken baseball bat, I think.”
“Jesus,” you sigh. You wonder how they got out, your thoughts circling back to the gun in her hands, and you suppress a shudder. “Are you injured too?” you ask, deciding not to press her about the attack.
“No,” comes her quiet answer. You don’t catch the way she averts her eyes.
“Alright,” mumble eventually and straighten up. You’ve cleaned and bandaged the wound to the best of your ability and now you just have to hope that it will be enough.
“Do you want something to eat?” you ask the girl, who has taken to sit beside the couch on the ground, now that you’ve moved away from it. Her face lights up at the question and she nods eagerly.
You get two bowls of the soup that you’ve had for dinner for the both of you and she has already had a few spoonfuls before she eyes you warily.
“It’s not poisoned or something, is it?”
You huff a laugh and keep eating yours, holding her gaze with raised eyebrows. “Does it look like it?”
“Um, no…” she trails off, swallowing another spoonful and sighing at the taste. You wonder how long it’s been since they ate something. “You could have poisoned only mine though.”
“Well I didn’t,” you grin. It feels foreign, talking to another person, another child, but a warmth is slowly spreading through you that has nothing to do with the soup.
She wakes Joel and gets him to swallow a little soup as well as some water before he collapses back on the couch, his eyes closed and his breath evening out.
“Why do you… have all this?” she asks eventually, setting her bowl down on the table and looking around the room, the wood-covered walls and the multiple doors.
“My dad built it,” you reply, forcing your voice to stay neutral. “B–before.”
She hums in acknowledgement, her eyes still full of wonder.
“You’re welcome to stay,” you hear yourself say, “until he gets better, I mean.”
You don’t know if you’re being reckless, if this will be the thing that finally gets you killed, but it seems too elaborate to be a trap. And maybe, just maybe you like the idea of not being alone down here, even just for a short while, a little too much. She thanks you, her expression just as weary as you feel.
You offer that she can wash up if she wants, use the shower, that you could give her some clothes of yours. You’re still not sure if you’re doing the right thing, or if you’re just being incredibly stupid, but the sight of her worn down shirt and the way her hair is matted down with dirt makes your heart swell with the wish to care for her.
Her eyes flicker nervously between Joel and the bathroom door a few times, but eventually she agrees. While the shower runs, you settle down on the armchair across from the couch, sinking into the cushions, your knees pulled up to your chin, your eyes resting on the sleeping man. He’s huge, taking up the whole length of it, his feet dangling over the armrest, overwhelming even in his unconscious state.
You really hope that they’re good people. He could overpower you easily, there’s no doubt of that. You might not be a terrible fighter, but you don’t think that you’d be a match for him.
Your gaze lingers on his face, the strong shape of his nose, the pout of his lower lip, his brow furrowed even in his sleep. His fingers are twitching, one wrist adorned with a broken watch.
Ellie exits the bathroom again, clad in your old clothes, her damp hair dripping into the neckline of the t-shirt, like a younger version of you. It makes your heart ache.
Now that the adrenaline is rushing from your body, you realize how weird all this really is. You haven’t spoken to anybody in years and now there’s two people here, in your space. Maybe you’ve finally lost it for good.
You show her to the biggest of the four bedrooms, the only one that no one has ever slept in. It’s easier, opening this door, than the two other ones that you keep shut. You debate moving Joel from the couch to the bed, Ellie mumbling about his back, but ultimately you decide against it.
“Okay,” you hesitate, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m in the room right next to you, if you need anything… Just– please don’t murder me in my sleep, okay?”
She mirrors your wry smile. “I won’t if you won’t.”
You nod and leave the room, praying that you’re making the right call here. You’re doing something good, right? And no one would plan an ambush like this. Would they?
You heave a sigh and retreat to your own bedroom, your gun clutched tightly in your grasp. You doubt that it would save you, not against that man who’s currently softly snoring on your couch. Still, it makes you feel a little better. You turn the lock on your door too, just in case.
When you sink back under the covers, eyes still wide open and staring into the darkness, a small smile creeps onto your lips despite your worries.
It’s not the way it was, it will never be that way again. But not being the only soul down here fills you with the ghost of a warmth that you had thought you’d never feel again.
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thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!
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via-l0ve · 7 months
Text
Dating Carlisle Cullen HCs!
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a/n: was the requested? absolutely not. am i a slut for daddy cullen? abso-fuckin-lutley
warnings: fluff, smut, swearing, im lowkey an edward hater in this i’m sorry, smut is fem!reader based!! dating daddy carlisle
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- when you guys hang out at night /alone he’s all over you
- he holds you, lays on your chest, plays with your hair while you sit inbetween his legs SHSSUWHEISN
- he plays with your fingers while you guys are around other people and he gets a little nervous
- like if your hanging out with friends he’ll play with your fingers and hands, twist around your bracelets and rings
- i love him he’s so soft
- he desperately tries to stop you from popping pimples and blackheads
- “y/n sTOP”
- sometimes you’ll laugh at stuff he says bc it sounds so old fashioned
- he attempts to make you food and most of the time it’s amazing but usually when you two cook it almost always ends up burnt or undercooked or missing an ingredient
- bc he gets distracted by your stupid jokes that sometimes result in a food fight
- carlisle would do anything for you
- literally one time you brought up wanting to go to disneyland because they do a mardi gras parade and he almost bought plane tickets right then and there
- “what’re you doing?”
- “buying plane tickets.”
- “what??? STOP-“
- he loves how you hate when he spends money on you
- it makes him want to do it more
- you both have multiple matching things
- bracelets, rings, necklaces, etc
- he bought you this EXPENSIVE bracelet once and you almost passed out on the spot
- it has your and carlisle’s initials engraved into it and it’s your favorite color
- he lets you paint his nails frequently
- he loves when you do little designs on them too
- he loves being the person you feel comfortable ranting to
- it breaks his heart when he opens his door and sees you with puffy eyes and a red nose, tears reminiscent on your face
- he lets you in and picks you up, speeding you to his bedroom
- he grabs you a big t-shirt and a pair of his boxers and tells you to shower or change before talking about it
- and then after that he does whatever you want
- sometimes he’ll comb your hair while you rant to him, or make you some tea on the kitchen island while you talk to him about what happened
- he’d totally sit you on the counter and cut up + feed you fruit and clean the juice from your chin. im sobbing
- 100% takes care of your stuffed animals
- he would love how you bond with his “kids”
- you and emmett would totally play horror games together
- emmett and you are this clip:
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxJdszrIKDCtmfnyVLdhVwf2sGqLcJ6NBU
- honestly either of you could be rhett/link and it would still make sense
- you lowkey make fun of edward ngl
- i feel like he plays games with you and emmett too and he sucks ass
- carlisle looses his shit when he hears you make a gooddamn good roast of him and you can hear him laughing from upstairs
- alice constantly tries to buy you clothes she thinks not only you, but also carlisle would like
- Rosalie would confide in you a lot
- tbh it took her a hot minute to warm up to you but when she saw how happy carlisle was with you she gave you a chance
- jasper loves you tbh
- he games w/ u and emmett and you guys kick ass in rocket league
- sometimes Carlisle will just stare at you for no reason
- you’ll catch him and he won’t break eye contact and you get all flustered and look away
- and proceed to look back to see him still staring
- “what’re you looking at?”
- “just you. :)”
- “okay but why”
- “youre beautiful.”
- “get a room!” ~ emmett
- reminds your to take ur medication
- after meeting your family, he’s always down to babysit with you or go to family reunions or vacations
- if it’s a sunny place he’ll just busy himself with work inside
- always liking ur instagram posts
- he always comments on them too
- just a simple “i love you” or “gorgeous🩷”
——— smut time
- respect and consent king
- wouldn’t dream of hurting you/degrading you ever
- he loves tits. sorry not sorry it’s true
- he’ll play w/ ur nipples and leave hickeys on ur boobs
- fucking looses it when you moan his name
- like, if you do that he’s giving you literally everything he has
- his fav position is missionary or when you ride him but you face him
- specifically if he’s sitting in his office chair and you get ontop of him and-
- makes your legs SHAKE
- he has his hands on your hips while you ride him bc that’s hot
- literally adores your body
- he couldn’t care less of your stomach pokes out or if you have love handles or stretch marks
- he loves you for you
- PRAISE
- this man loves to make you blush and he knows exactly how to do it in bed
- master at giving you head
- literally knows exactly what to do and how you like it done
- fucking dies when you ride his face
- like it’s not a thing that he wants he NEEDS it
- he pays attention to your body movements and how you react to certain things
- he’s the typa guy to get on his knees and eat you out
- tongue around ur clit and fingers inside you pumping in and out and moving around inside to touch your g-spot
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liknws · 8 months
Text
skz & introducing you to the others
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⎯⎯ PAIRING: stray kids x reader ⎯⎯ TAGS: fluff, tiny bit of angst, just cute shit ⎯⎯ WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety, lmk if i missed any
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CHAN
absolutely the least subtle of the group
sure the rest of skz knows that he's seeing someone but they respect that he hasn't brought you around the chaos yet
it's not until he name drops you when half asleep do the rest of the boys start teasing him
instantly regrets speaking and tries to bury himself in the couch to hide from the jokes
he'll bring it up to you eventually, almost nervously
"so i was thinking, it's time you met the other's" and you're supportive of the idea. only ever wanted to do things at his pace
you can't hide that you're just as nervous to meet them because if they don't like you what's to say that won't stop the relationship?
thankfully they like you and are welcoming to you when you come by for dinner
seungmin jokingly calls you "mom" one day and now they won't stop with the parent jokes
next step is introducing you to the world but the boys are protective and help keep your relationship private
(they go to ridiculous lengths to make this happen and at one point you have to convince them that JYP knows about you and no one is breaking rules, just that you want to stay out of the public eye for now while you can)
MINHO
you were more nervous meeting his cats (who love you by the way and you get daily pictures of the three from his parents)
oh yeah, you met his parents too and they loved you
he wasn't reluctant to introduce you to skz but he wasn't making it happen fast either. "the longer i can keep you to myself, the better" was always his excuse and you don't argue because it's true
stay ends up learning about you first (by accident) when you're visiting his parents and he posts a photo of you cuddled asleep with the cats
he did it without thinking, just captioning it something vague and cute on the official instagram
chan takes it down quickly but not fast enough and there are already screenshots
you end up meeting the rest of them through video call when chan calls minho to tell him what happened
once it's clear you're not upset at all, you're invited (read: demanded) to the dorms to meet the rest of them when the break is over
minho pretends to grumble that his perfect secret is blown and that he's going to have to share you now because they'll all love you
spoiler alert: he was right
CHANGBIN
i don't think this man knows the meaning of subtle or private if a dictionary was thrown at him
the second you two make anything official he's asking you to come by the dorms and hang out, to come with him to the gym when he's home to spend more time with him
he can't get enough of being around you and that translates to the rest of skz knowing about you pretty early on
the hard part is keeping your relationship private from people outside of the group
he has almost name dropped you so many times during interviews or tours that it's becoming a running joke among the boys who is on "binnie's big mouth duty" that night
it takes the whole group to keep him from saying something that would give you two away
HYUNJIN
while chan and changbin might be the least subtle, hyunjin is easy to tell something has changed
he's singing certain songs with more energy
his personal instagram posts are very boyfriend coded but he doesn't really say or do anything specific
there's a lot of speculation that he might be seeing someone
you're actually the one to blow it
you were just going to drop something off in the dorm while everyone was at practice (he'd cleared it with security and you had your own code specifically for visits without him)
what you didn't expect was han standing in the kitchen half dressed and a tooth brush in his mouth
he screamed, you screamed, he screamed again, security came to the rescue
you're trying to explain who you are until you pull out your phone and call your boyfriend
"han is here and i scared him and now security is kicking me out i just wanted to leave you a present on your bed im so sorry"
you have to switch to video call to prove that you're talking to hyunjin and that yes, you're his s/o and allowed to be there so security lets you back in with apologies
safe to say you don't do the surprise visits in case you give jisung another heart attack
JISUNG
when i say this boy was stressed about it, he was stressed out by you meeting his friends
you had teased him endlessly about how his true soulmate is minho and he's kind of scared that once you meet them you'll think you're not good enough and leave him
so it takes a lot of talks to get him okay with introducing his favorite person in the world to them
you suggest that instead of meeting them all at once to do it one-by-one in whatever order is the most comfortable with him
which makes you wonder if you're going to meet minho first or last
you're surprised however when you meet him first and ji is anxious the whole time
until both you and minho reassure him that it's okay and that because you and him love jisung that why wouldn't they get along
and you do (so much that minho is almost your bff) which is a relief to him
you end up meeting chan and changbin last which you realize is because of how much he really respects their opinions
he's still a little anxious sometimes when you hang out with the whole of skz at once, fearing that the chaos will chase you off but he realizes he has nothing to worry about when you feed that chaos
FELIX
you two made a whole plan of how to introduce you to the rest of the guys
mostly because you wanted it to go perfectly even if he assured you it would no matter what
he helps you get into the dorms right after everyone has left so you can set up snacks and games to have a game night and get to know everyone
he was supposed to be the first one through the door so when you almost throw yourself at changbin instead of your boyfriend you're mortified
they don't let you live that down but it was an effective way to break the ice and it gets everyone laughing right away
the small hiccup passed, you're trying to impress the others as much as you can because you know they mean so much to felix
chan eventually gets you alone in the kitchen to ask if you're okay and you confess in one breath how anxious you are for them to like you
chan assures you that no one could hate you, you're basically felix in another person and they can all see how he looks at you
another situation where the boys are super protective of you two and your privacy, helping to keep you out of public eye as much as possible
SEUNGMIN
literally no one knew this man was seeing anyone until you just showed up to the dorm one day?
truly one of those types who has the private life thing down and while he shares most of his life with skz, he hasn't ever shared your existence with them
that was an agreement you both came to when things were getting serious and you two like having this whole separate life with each other away from everyone else
they're all confused who he's invited to dinner (he's been so picky about the foods and made sure that only your favorites are made)
truly no one knew about you at all, he wasn't any different but when you're around there is a whole other side of seungmin that the boys are shocked by
until you roast him just as hard as he does the others and oh now they see why you two are perfect for each other
they're not really convinced you two are together until you kiss him goodnight at the door and when he turns around he's so pink in the face and biting his lips to keep from smiling
you two are probably the only ones that are able to keep your relationship out of the public eye for so long until seungmin drops one day that he's a dad?????
JEONGIN
he loves teasing about your existence to the others
like you're aware of what he's doing and you think it's funny
"oh just texting my s/o" like the most casual sentence ever that leaves everyone just looking around confused
never once says your name but will bring you up anytime it's natural
he does this so much and it's so normal that he does it on stage during their unscripted part and it takes too long to realize what happened
seungmin realizes first and starts laughing, telling the others while jeongin realizes what he did
you two have talked about revealing your relationship for a long time but the teasing of it was too much fun
so you end up being introduced to skz at the same time that stay learns about you
(you were backstage at the show with the staff. after clearing the idea with staff, you're dragged out on stage hand-in-hand with jeongin)
to say the boys flip when they realize it's you is ridiculous because you've been on so many schedules and shows that they never realized you were right under their nose
that was part of the fun of it to you two but even with that part over you two will still find ways to tease the members together
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luveline · 4 months
Note
Hey jade, I hope you had a good Christmas,
Love your writing so much it brings me so much serotonin 🤣🤣 I have a request for hotch if you’d be up to it, I just love this man’s patience and understanding and would love to see him interact with reader who struggles with sex? Or just sexual stuff in general, like maybe she feels really embarrassed about it and doesn’t know how to talk about it with him? Idk if this is something you’d be interested in just thought I’d throw it out there. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what you post next ♥️♥️♥️
hotch lends you some comfort when a certain topic flusters you, 1.1k
cw adult themes, mdni 
“It's almost cheaper to have kids.” 
You scoop your gaze from the deodorants. “What?” you ask, looking first to Hotch, and then to his eyeline. “Oh.” 
The grocery store boasts a few rows of contraceptives. Condoms, dental dams, and under that, lubes and stimulants in candy rainbow colours. Thirty one ninety nine for silicone-free, aloe vera flavoured lube. Twenty seven for o-gel. 
You avert your gaze without fact-checking him on the condoms, laughing awkwardly as your heart races. “Right.” 
“I'm kidding. Just feeding Jack is a surprising expense.” He says surprising like it's delightful. “Good thing we have cushy jobs.” 
Oh, he's feeling funny tonight. Your laugh is authentic as he takes your arm, the basket in his other clinking as he starts forward again. You finish your quick stock up and Hotch pays for your things despite your protests, packing you and the bags into his ‘cushy’ car. 
You're a little embarrassed in the passenger seat. Your relationship with Hotch is complicated in that while you're in the official early days, you pined for a long time. You're undoubtedly in love with him, and though he's your boss and your senior, he seems to have taken a similar liking to you, hence another chilled out date night upon his invitation. And you've you've messed around like teenagers with kisses too hot and hands wandering, but you haven't fucked, and it's a problem, because your usual awkwardness around the subject grows bigger the longer you wait. 
Hotch can wait forever if he wants, you're not trying to rush him. If he wanted to fuck you tonight you'd probably be too nervous anyhow. 
You can't talk about condoms. How are you going to cope when you have to use one? 
Your stomach churns the longer you think about it. Hotch doesn't react at first, but you know he's figured you out when he covers your hand atop your knee and gives it a squeeze. You okay?
“Can we turn on the radio?” you ask. 
His hand lifts away slowly. He turns on the radio, and you think, oh, he's mad. No, not mad. Irritated, maybe, or confused. That's not fair to him. You think it anyway, sick to your stomach as he parks in the parking garage under his building and you make your way up. 
He doesn't pull any punches —as soon as you're inside with your shoes off and the door locked, he puts the groceries on the counter and looks at you until you meet his eyes. 
“I'm sorry,” he says. 
“What for?” you ask, startled. 
“I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to imply anything before you're ready.” He's handsome like this, earnest, his eyebrows raised and an inviting palm held open on the counter beside him. “It was a poorly judged joke.” 
“No, no, I,” —you bring a hand to your mouth, cover it, uncover it— “don't mind if you want to joke about it. It would be weird to care, right?” 
He hears an insecurity in your tone you don't mean to reveal, and he pieces it together swiftly. Understanding lines his eyes. “I don't think so,” he murmurs. 
You're embarrassed beyond words, but he is your boyfriend. He asked with a little expensive bracelet and your favourite baked treat from the bakery near work. You'd only ever mentioned it once, but he remembered. He knows you well, and he's never given you reason to be afraid of his reactions. 
“It's just so embarrassing,” you mumble, staring down at your socks. 
“What is?” he asks, crossing the kitchen to take your hands. “You don't have to be embarrassed about anything, you're perfect.” 
Your breath catches, your neck cracking uncomfortably as you look up. “I– I don't know how to talk about it. I know it's childish.” 
“No, it's not. It's a big thing, and it comes naturally to some people, but not everyone.” His brow furrows a little, the warm depth of his voice working to unspool the tight panic you'd been clinging to, “I'd never push you to do something you're not ready for.” 
“I know that. It's not you. And I don't know if I'm ready or not, it's just–” Your face is hot enough to boil rain. You shake your head. It's too difficult to explain. 
Hotch ushers you into his solid chest. “It's okay,” he says, patting your back gently. “Don't worry about it.” 
“I want us to be like everyone else,” you confess. 
“We are. You're not the first woman to get nervous about the idea of intimacy, sweetheart, I promise. And I'm not the first man to make a bad joke about contraceptives.” He laughs as you laugh, two huffing chuckles as he presses his lips to the top of your head. “You can take as much time as you need to get used to the idea, and if it's still weird when you're ready, does it matter? We'll be weird about it together. Or we won't be. Okay?” 
“Yeah, okay… thank you, Aaron.” 
“I waited a long, long time for this,” he says, giving your back a pointed little squeeze. “And it's more than I ever thought I'd get. I'm not worried about the rest. I'm in no rush, and you shouldn't be either.” 
You hide your face in his chest for a while, somehow more embarrassed than when you'd started. He draws lines up and down your back with his palm patiently. “It's okay,” he says again, kissing the side of your face. After a moment, he encourages your head back with a hand on your cheek, checking your expression carefully before leaning in for a kiss. His hair tickles your forehead. 
To your relief, it doesn't make you nervous. He probably never could, not when he's touching you so softly. 
You're feeling a hundred times better when you pull away. A tad mortified still, but relieved to know your struggle with talking about it isn't a turn off. If he can stick with you through this bump in the road, you can try, at least, to overcome it. 
“Is lube really thirty two dollars?” you ask in a whisper. 
“I don't know. I've never needed it.” 
He spends the next ten minutes laughing and apologising sincerely as steam pours out of your ears. 
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kuromiisanton · 3 months
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✩First kisses with RIIZE✩ genre. fluff / suggestive(?) warnings. kissing. can be suggestive at some parts. nothing else but if anyone thinks i should add something please let me know:) paring. riize x fem!reader (can be read as gn!reader) a/n. this is my first post so I'm a little nervous, but hope you all enjoy! _________________________________ Shotaro𐙚  It would be so gentle at first, maybe like a quick peck on the lips. Once he realizes that you didn’t pull back and looks happy about it, he goes back in but this time with a faster pace. It's the perfect first kiss. He was literally smiling so hard you feared it would get stuck like that(though you wouldn't complain because his smile is heaven sent). By the end of it shotaro can’t keep his lips to himself and is resisting the urge to keep you with him all day every day to kiss you over and over again. Eunseok𐙚  jaw grabber. It will be a strong and passionate kiss, eunseok is kissing you like if he stops you're gonna disappear. He's holding your jaw between his index finger and thumb, but it's so gentle. It's such a light hold you can barely feel it, but you know it's there. Eunseok is romantic and no one can change my mind about it. Sungchan𐙚 Okay hear me out... Very needy. Like it’s sloppy and fast,, but it’s so good too. He’s kissing you like he wants to inhale you lowkey but the kiss was not bad in any means. He was squeezing you into his body because he wanted to feel your warmth against him. If anything it will make you feel a lot more than you already were. He genuinely can't help himself… he just needed to kiss you so bad. Wonbin𐙚   It's such a soft and slow kiss. Even if you would try and get him to go a little faster, he won't. He is dead set on this pace and this pace only. Why? Because he wants to savor the way your mouth tastes and feels with his. He is also the biggest tease in the universe. Wonbin is going so slow because he wants to make you needier than he is.  Seunghan𐙚 He pecks you on the lips but is quick to pull away to see your reaction. It was so sudden that he worries he read the vibe wrong. You have a stunned look on your face so he instantly starts apologizing but then he gets stunned when you pull him back in for a deeper, longer lasting kiss. He was definitely giggling and kicking his feet later in bed that night… Sohee𐙚 The first kiss he did to you was to your forehead. In that moment he was just so happy to be with you and when he pulled away he stared at your face for a minute looking at how beautiful you are. He literally had stars in his eyes… After so long of looking at your face he just dived in and kissed you on the lips. It was so light at first then, he deepened it because of all the joy he was feeling of finally kissing you after so long. You didn't think his natural smile could get any bigger, but after that it was so wide and you never wanted to see it in a different way again. Anton𐙚  Would take months for this man to kiss you. He was just so shy about it and fearful he would scare you away. But one night after a date he just couldn't stop himself anymore and went for it. He was smiling the whole time while kissing you once he felt you kiss back. He felt like he was on top of the world and all he needed in life was you there with him. The kiss was so sweet and smiley, afterwards he was smiling so hard and hiding his face away; not from embarrassment, but from excitement of him finally working up the courage to kiss you.
a/n: requests are open
©kuromiisanton, all rights reserved.
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lovingmattysposts · 4 months
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Do you think he knows?
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summary: you just became popular on YouTube and you just moved to LA and you were invited on one of your favorite podcasts, The Zach Sang Show. Everything was great until he brought up a little crush of yours that you gushed about that the beginning of your career, which caused you to light up in embarrassment hoping to god he never saw anything you’ve said about him.
warnings: Just fluff, mentions of drinking/ being sober
"Next topic" Zach said through the microphone. I just smiled and looked over to him as he looked down at the sheet in front of him.
My friend, Sarah and I had been growing rapidly on youtube and our podcast that we had. We made vlogs and just filmed some funny moment that happened throughout our lives, and people actually tuned in and listened. Which shocked me. 20K viewers turned in 100K viewers and we were now sitting at almost a million subscribers on youtube and an average of 800K-1M views per video.
We had just offically moved to LA a month ago and were still settling into everything. It was all very exciting and this was the first time were appearing on someone else's podcast and I was nervous to say the least. When we were first invited on the podcast, The Zach Sang Show, of all places, I debated on going or not, but ultimately we decided it would be best to further our career. So here we were, sitting here doing someone else's podcast.
The first few questions were easy. Just basically talking about the come up of our career, how we got here, how we met, etc. I felt better having Sarah here by my side, I didn't know what I would do if all of the attention on me. I was just happy not too many personal questions were asked so far.
"Chris Sturniolo" Zach said directing his attention to me. I took in a breath, attempting not to show on my face the embarrassment that began to arise.
I was so excited when we first started blowing up. I never really thought we would go anywhere, just making silly little videos to look back on, so that persuaded me to say whatever came to mind. Including my huge crush on Christopher Sturniolo. In our earlier videos, I would go on and on about how attractive I thought he was. How funny I thought he was. How I would marry that man in a heartbeat.
This caused many of the Sturniolo triplet fans to be directed towards our videos. Clips of me gushing over new instagram posts of him, going viral on TikTok. The comments being filled with their fan base saying things like, "She gets it" or "Me too girl".
Once we started to blow up even more I started to calm down my obsessive tendencies. I knew that since our faces were starting to pop up around more and more, I would die of embarrassment if Chris came across any of those clips. I wasn't stalker-obsessed. I'd seen a few of their videos, seen a few clips on TikTok, which like many other girls across the globe made me start taking an interest in Chris.
I didn't know everything that's ever happened in his life or anything. I just saw his face, seen him say some funny shit, and was like "Yep love of my life" and that was it. Kind of like people's crushes on Liam Hemsworth and Jacob Elordi. It didn't go far past seeing funny or attractive clips of them.
To this day, I still didn't know if Chris had seen anything i've said about him and honestly I really didn't want to know.
Sarah looked over at me, raising her eyebrow a smile on her face. I shook my head and looked down, feeling my face start to burn up.
"You've been pretty open with your past relationship history in your videos, which is why many of your fans love you guys. For your open and honest thoughts" He said looking down at the sheet in front of him.
"y/n, you've never actually been in a relationship before?" He asked looking at me. I sighed and nodded. "I've been in positions of potential relationships before, but they all treated me like shit. So i've just kinda voided the whole thing off. I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me. I've definitely been hurt enough in the past to where I'm not even looking to be in one" I said honestly nodded. Zach nodded smiling.
"You know we just had Chris on the show" he said. I sighed looking down smiling and shaking my head. "He had an answer very similar to yours" he stated. I looked over at Sarah who was smiling and biting the straw on her drink.
"Look" I breathed into the mic. "Chris is a very attrative young male, but I don't know anything about him really. He could be in a relationship for all I know. I'm not into stepping on anybody's toes" I laughed awkardly looking at him. He nodded looking down.
"You've mentioned in some of your past videos that you thought he was the most attractive man to walk the planet" Zach said making Sarah bust out laughing and push the mirophone out of the way. I hit her in the shoulder and shook my head.
Zach raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I avoided his eye contact attempting to wipe the smile across my face. "Do you still think that?" Zach asked looking at me. I pursed my lips. I took a deep breath as I leaned into the mic.
"Okay, I know I was a little obessive there for a minute, but I swear it wasn't in a creepy way. I just saw a cute guy popping up on my feed and was like "oh heyy"" I laughed into the mic.
"I don't even really know the guy that well" I shook my head. Zach smiled raising his eyebrows. "Are you sure? You’re blushing a little bit over there" He laughed. I shook my head smiling.
"Hello? Have you seen the guy? I still stand behind everything I've said. I just don't want to get attack by the fan base, I'm honestly scared of them. I really haven't seen that many of their videos" I said shaking my head.
"She plays their videos to fall asleep at night" Sarah said leaning into the mic. I glared over at her smiling. "She's lying!" I said shaking my head. "I'm kidding" Sarah laughed shaking her head. I was now blood red.
"Have you met him yet in person? I know you guys work with the same merch company" Zach stated. I smiled and nodded. "Wow you really did your research" I laughed. "That's my job" he said smiling. I shook my head.
"No, I haven't met him in person and If i'm being completely honest I think I'd run and hide. My 17 year old self had no filter" I laughed shaking my head.
"So what makes you feel an attraction to Chris rather than Matt per say?” Zach smiled and leaned back in his chair. I sighed. "I feel like from what I've seen Matt and I are very similar in the fact with dealing with mental health shit and kind of letting everyone else talk and being shy" I said looking at him.
"So I feel like Chris is like a breath of fresh air of not seeing myself in him. I wouldn't really want to be with someone exactly like me" I stated.
"Not that I think Matt isn't attractive or a great person, oh god i'm so scared of their fanbase" I shook my head quickly. Zach laughed. "In full honesty Nick is my favorite" I laughed. "But I don't know, In a weird way I feel like them being sober and me being sober and everything, It would just be nice to have someone like that especially in the LA scene where I feel like everyone is the same" I sighed. He nodded.
"So this is y/n’s offical application to be Chris Sturniolo's girlfriend" Sarah said into the mic. My eyes went wide and I pushed her. "It is not!" My face went red. Zach laughed.
"But yeah they are all attrative, clearly" I said holding out my hands and looking around. "But I think they are like genuine people, which is hard to find" I sighed. They nodded. "I agree" Sarah said into the mic, I nodding looking over at her and smiling.
"If you could go back and delete some of those clips of what you said about him, would you?" He asked looking at me. I took a deep breath before leaning into the mic.
"No, I wouldn't. As fucking insane as I sounded--" I laughed. "That's one of the main things that made us blow up, being relatable and such. Plus it made alot of his fan base find us, and I wouldn't give that up just to save myself future embarrassment. I also meant everything I said, I was young growing up--but it didn't mean I didn't feel the things I was saying. I think it's kind of sweet looking back and seeing those clips and seeing the emotions of it all. It reminds me of when I would obessive over bands and stuff when I was a kid" I smiled nodding.
Zach nodded smiling. "That's a sweet way of looking at it" he smiled. I shook my head laughing.
"Okay, now bring out Chris Sturniolo!" He yelled holding out his arm towards the door. My eyes went wide and I screamed covering my face with my hands, making Sarah and Zach laugh.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding" He said into the mic. I looked up feeling my face heat up. "Zach, we're not friends anymore" I bit back a smile shaking my head, making him laugh.
"Next topic, please" I said shaking the smile off my face.
-
"How do I look?" Sarah asked running her fingers through her hair. I smiled at her. "Good, really good" I said looking her. She smiled letting out a breath. She looked over at me looking her up and down.
The Zach Sang episode went out last week, and low and behold the clip of me talking about Chris went viral. Out of everything I talked about, that's the one topic that gets millions of views. It helped out our fan base quite a lot actually, we gained almost 100K after that video posted, so I couldn't be that mad. I just could never look Chris Sturniolo in the eye and I was okay with that.
"You're not nervous at all?" She asked looking at me. I shrugged and then shook my head. "They are just people Sarah, just like us" I laughed as she nodded and took a deep breath.
It was our first ever influencer party ever. Familiar faces i've seen online crowded the room. It was weird seeing people I used to fan girl over in the same room as me, even speaking to me. It was something I never even imagined myself doing. But here we were.
I wasn't nervous it was weird. Maybe it was because we had just as many followers as some of the people around us.
"Did you see Vinnie Hacker was over there?" She gushed before closing her eyes and covering her mouth in excitement. I shook my head looking at her. "Calm down, this isn't a meet and greet. We're here to make connects so calm down" I said through gritted teeth. She took in a deep breath before nodding and smiling.
"Okay, Okay I'm calm" She nodded looking at me. I raised my eyebrows. "I am--I am look" She said pinching her fingers and taking in a slow breath and letting it out. I smiled and shook her as she attempted to mediatate in front of me.
She opened her eyes before they trailed behind me and she froze. I just looked at her. "What?" I asked. She stood frozen, staring behind me. "Did you see lil huddy or something?" I chuckled, but she didn't smile. "Sarah what?" I asked again looking at her. She glanced down at me, dropping her arms.
"The triplets are here" She said quietly. I felt all the blood leave my face. "What?" I asked quickly looking at her. She glanced behind me before quickly looking down at her feet. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" she said quickly placing her hands against her face. My heart started to beat out of my chest.
"Sarah what?" I whispered quickly. "We made eye contact, they are walking over here" She said looking up at me. My mouth dropped at I stared at her in disbelief. "What? No--Are-Are you sure--" I whispered looking at her. She lifted her head, before a smile came her face.
"Shut up, shut up" She whispered quickly under her breath as she raised her eyebrows, her attention turning to the people walking up to us. I stared at her, my eyes wide and anxiety filling my whole body.
"Hey"
I heard a male's voice say. I reluctantly looked up to see Nick staring down at her. I smiled up at him, slightly star struck from standing this close to him. I glanced over and saw Matt standing next to him and Chris standing next to Matt, all looking at me.
This was my worst nightmare.
"Y/n and Sarah right?" Nick smiling pointing between us. I took in a breath looking over at Sarah with wide eyes, she wore the same expression. Unfortunately. I wanted to say.
"Yeah" I nodded smiling. "I'm Nick" He said holding out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at his hand. Maybe he's being humble. I obviously knew who they were. I took his hand anyway shaking it, before he extended his hand to Sarah, who shook it smiling.
"This is Matt and Chris, my brothers" He said motioning to them. I looked over at Matt who smiled nodding at me, and then to Chris who smiled slightly. I swallowed looking down at my feet. Oh my god.
"We love your videos" Nick said making me snap my head up. I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows. He just looked at me. "Like--" I said looking over at Sarah who was just looking at me.
"Like our videos?" I asked motioning between me and Sarah. Nick laughed. "Yeah, we watch you guys like every week" He breathed. I just stared at him, my mouth slightly parted trying to figure out is he was serious or not.
"Like actually?" Sarah asked looking over at Nick. "You guys are funny as fuck" Matt said chuckling. "We live for the shit talking saturdays podcast" Matt said looking over at me. I smiled closing my eyes.
"You guys--" I said looking between them, trying so hard to not keep eye contact with Chris. "Are the funniest people i think i've ever seen" I chuckled looking at them. They all smiled.
"Thank you we appreciate that" Nick said looking up at me. I glanced over at Chris, who has yet to say a word, to see him just looking at me. I glanced away from him quickly looking back at Nick.
"I know that we have a lot of them same fan base--" Nick said looking between us. "Would you guys maybe want to colab sometime?" He asked raising his eyebrows looking at us. I looked over at Sarah who looked at me, attempting to send me messages through her eyes, before shrugging. I looked back at them.
"It doesn't have to be for a whole pod episode, I know you guys just did that--" Matt started to say, making me close my eyes and scrunch my nose. Fuck. I took a breath, reopening my eyes. It's fine. It's fine. You're fine.
"It could just be like a regular video, I know our fans would love to see it" Matt explained looking between us. I took in a breath and looked over at Sarah, who shrugged and nodded. I looked back at them, my cheeks slightly red.
"Yeah, we'd love that" I nodded. Nick smiled at me. "Great, can I get one of your numbers?" He asked looking between us. I nodded before pulling out my phone and handing it to Nick. Nick looked down at the phone, making silence come between the rest of us.
I just looked down at my feet.
"I like your shoes"
When I heard his voice my eyes shot up. Chris was looking at me. I looked down at my shoes and then back at him. "Mine?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded. My face lit up in what felt like flames.
"Oh! Thanks. I actuatly just got these--They were like super expensive for like no reason, they are just like tan shoes like why are they so fucking---" I stopped myself biting my lip. Fuck, I'm word vomiting. I paused looking at him and he was staring back at me waiting for me to finish.
"Expensive" I breathed looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "They're sick" He said glancing back down at my shoes. I smiled and looked away from him, just in time for Nick to hand me back my phone.
"Just text me whenever you're free" He smiled before walking past us, watching Matt and Chris following along after him. I let out a breath.
I looked over at Sarah.
"He definitely saw it" I groaned closing my eyes. Sarah looked over at me. "He definitely saw it" She nodded looking over at me. I looked over at her. "How embarrassing was I?" I sighed rubbing my hands over my hands. Sarah shook her head looking at me.
"No, no you weren't I promise" She said looking down at me. I cringed looking up at her. "Maybe a little red--" She squinted. I sighed and looked down. "But definitely not embarrassing" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.
I looked over to see the triplets moved across the room, just in time to see Chris look back at me. I turned away and grabbed Sarah's arm. "That's enough embarrassment for one night" I mumbled as I dragged her away.
-
"I'm gonna go talk to Vinnie" Sarah smiled up at me. I rolled my eyes. "Sarah, you've had too many drinks. You're gonna embarrass yourself" I chuckled pushing her drink down. She rolled her eyes.
"Liquid confidence" She cheered before moving past me. "Sarah" I said looking at her as she smiled and winked at me and made her way across the room. I sighed once she finally made her way over to him and he looked down at her.
Sometimes I wondered how it was so easy for her. To just go up and talk to guys. Sure I was confident online with my podcast and everything, but when it came to real life situations--I wasn't the one talking first or being the loudest one in the group.
This resulted in Sarah having multiple flings with people, pulling guys wherever she went and me being the girl who just creppily talks about a triplet and runs away from him. God.
"Hey"
I glanced away from the interaction from Vinnie and Sarah and looked up to see the same blue eyes I was just thinking about staring down at me. I turned slightly to see if anyone else was around me that he could possibly be talking to, but when I saw no one I turned back to look at him. He smiled and shook his head at me.
"Hi" I breathed looking at him. Chris. glanced down at my cup. "What you sippin on?" He asked. I looked down at the cup in my hand and then back up to him. "Oh! It's like this herbal-tea thing. It's suppose to help calm you down, but not in like a drug related way---Like in a herbal tea way--" I chuckled slightly.
"But it's really not that good, if i'm being honest i'm having to choke it down, because it is not working--" I said shaking my head looking back up at him, a smile just on his face.
"Not! That i'm super nervous or anything, I just--It's my first influencer party and I don't really know anyone except for Sarah--Who is--" I said looking over and seeing her lips attached to Vinnie's. I scrunched my nose and looked back at Chris who was also taking in the sight himself.
"Sucking on Vinnie Hacker's face currently" I chuckled slightly looking back at him. He chuckled and nodded. "But don't mind her, she's not normally like this. She's just drunk and nervous which is why she's making out with a famous twitch streamer" I shook my head. He just nodded smiling at me.
"Not--that i'm judging her for drinking or anything. That's totally okay with me--It's just not for me, you get what i'm saying? Sometime I like being the DD, but only if it means no one is puking in my car. But she never usually gets to that point, I also love how she doesn't judge me for not drinking even though we're in LA, because sometimes peer pressure is just like---" I said looking around and then meeting his eyes again, pausing as he looked down at me. I sighed closing my eyes.
"I'm....talking a a lot aren't I?" I asked opening my eyes looking at him. How could I possibly have gone on a tangent this long from the simple question: What are you drinking? God If I could crawl into a hole right now, I would.
He chuckled and shook his head. "No you're fine" He smiled looking down at me. I took a breath and looked down, feeling my face betray me and light up. "I'm sober too, I think it's cool that you're sober" He said pointing at my drink.
"Think i'd rather be drinking alcohol than whatever herbal ass this is" I joked looking down at my drink, my hand slightly shaking. He laughed. He laughed, making me look up at him and take a real breath. He shrugged.
"Yeah maybe sounds really gross" He breathed looking down at me. I took a breath as we stared at each other. Not believing that we were genuinely speaking right now.
"I saw that you said you were working on a jewelry brand" He stated looking down at me. "That's really fucking cool" He smiled looking at me. I smiled and nodded.
"I'm really excited about it. T-shirt and sweatshirts are whatever, but like making a genuine brand that people who aren't a fan of my content can wear is really cool" I said looking at him. He nodded.
"Yeah I think it's pretty cool that you can decifer yourself and what you want to do, from Sarah's. I feel like I kind of a hard time doing things without my brothers" He stated looking down at me, like I was a normal person and we were having a normal converstaion.
"Yeah well, I feel like before all this social media stuff, Sarah was kind of the one who made all the plans, was always invited somewhere, always had more friends. Mainly because she was more outgoing than me--" I said glancing over at her, still kissing Vinnie. I looked up at Chris who was watching them.
"Clearly" I chuckled and he chuckled and nodded. "And also with the fact that she drank and I didn't" I sighed. "I guess they just felt awkward inviting me to places where there would be drinks, like I was allergic to it or something" I said shaking my head. He nodded, like he was understanding what I was saying.
"I would never say this to her, but taking the step to doing something by myself that I feel people would love is like the biggest deal to me ever. Especially since I feel like when people look at the two of us, they usually like her more" I sighed. Chris nodded and his eyes didn't leave mine as I spoke, like he was really listening.
"Which I guess it's not her fault, but it's how I feel" I shrugged. He let out a breath and glanced over at Sarah who had finally come up for air. "Sarah's cool" He stated. I looked up at him nodding. He glanced back down at me.
"But she's not as funny as you" He whispered slightly leaning down, making me start to shake slightly. I chuckled and shook my head. He leaned up and smiled down at me. We just looked down at me for a second.
"Sorry I'm not really good at this" I said looking at him, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asked crossing his hands over his chest. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him.
"I don't know this?" I asked shaking my head. He smiled and licked his lips. "What flirting with me?" He asked looking down at me, making my eyes go wide. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I scoffed, feeling my face go red.
"I am not flirting with you" I said attempting to bite back my smile as he looked at me. He shrugged and looked down at me. I sighed looking down and swallowing my pride.
"You've seen the clips haven't you?" I asked scrunching my face and looking up at him. He smiled and shrugged. "Maybe a few" He laughed lightly. I swallowed shaking my head, suddenly regretting everything i've ever said. I groaned placing my hands over my face.
"Oh god" I said looking up at him. He shook his head. "No, don't be embarrassed. I think it's flattering" He chuckled. I shook my head. "No Chris, it is embarrassing" I laughed off the awkwardness of this conversation.
"I think it's cute you think my eyes are bluer than the ocean" He chuckled. I shook my head holding up my hands. "Stop stop" My face just got redder by the second. He laughed and stepped towards me grabbing my hand that was in the air. I looked down at our hands and saw him looking down at me.
"Maybe you weren't flirting with me, but maybe I wanted to flirt with you" He stated running his thumb over my hand and then letting it fall. I glanced up and blinked at him, as he looked down at me. Was I dreaming? Was this real life? I didn't believe the words falling out of his mouth.
"What?" I whispered. He took in a breath sighing and looking to the side. "My brothers would never shut up about the things you've said about me, reminding me almost everyday--" He started looking back down at me. I didn't speak I just looked at him.
"and maybe I mentioned that I thought you were cute" He smiled down at me. My mouth parted. Dreaming, definitely dreaming. "And ever since I said that, they haven't shut up about getting us to meet each other--Since they love your videos so much" He said quietly looking down at me.
"They love?" I asked smiling up at him. He sighed rolling his eyes. "We love" He stated smiling. I blushed and shook my head. "Sorry" I whispers running my hands over my cheeks that were out of control. He shook his head, his eyes not breaking mine.
"No it's okay" he smiled. I smiled up at him. "So...you think you'll do a video with us?" He asked quietly. I took in a breath. "i'll have to check my schedule" I teased looking at him. He licked his lips and nodded.
"You think you have time in your schedule for a date?" He asked smiling. My smile dropped as I looked at him, seeing if he was serious. He raised his eyebrows looking at me.
"Like actually?" I whispered looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "Dinner? My place?" He asked looking at me. I opened my mouth and then closed it just staring at him.
"Are you seeing someone?" He asked due to my silence. I shook my head quickly. "No" I stated. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Will you go out with me then?" He chuckled. I took in a breath before smiling, getting ready to respond but I was too nervous so I turned to the side.
I glanced over seeing Sarah leaning against Vinnie's shoulder, groaning with her eyes closed. I sat up straighter.
"Shit" I breathed. I looked back at Chris. "I'm sorry I have--" I said looking at him. He shook his head stepping back. "No go, you're fine" He said shaking his head. I took in breath stepping away from him and starting towards Sarah, but I paused turning back around to meet Chris's eyes again.
"Dinner. Your place. Saturday night work?" I breathed smiling. He started to smile. "Y-Yeah that's perfect" He nodded. I smiled before leaning up and kissing his cheek and then leaning back seeing I was no longer the one who was red in the face.
"You're sweet" I whispered. He just smiled at me, before I turned and headed off towards Sarah.
tag list:
@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @d3adlyclassrat @iammattsturniolo @1201pm @urfavstromboli @that-chris-girl01 @lovingsturniolo @aoxash
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querenciasturniolo · 9 months
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This is such a random concept but can you write something to do with the triplets finding out you’re a fan of there’s (which is shocking cuz you’re a well known singer) and you guys finally meet up for a car video and Chris, who’s usually really talkative, gets really quiet and nervous and Matt and Nick catch on to why and they end up teasing him…
favorite ⮕ c.s.
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word count: 2.7k
warnings: swearing, teasing, she/her pronouns
summary: the triplets invite you to to do a video with them after a viral video at your last concert on tour, and teasing ensues when chris is awfully quiet for once
a/n: this one is a little longer, but only because i am awful at transitions and find way too much detail important. this was SO fun to write, i hope i did it justice 💓
{i am NOT calling fangirls losers, at all. i am a fangirl and a loser, but that doesn’t mean everyone is. i wrote y/n saying she was a loser bc i thought it was funny, carry on}
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
part one || part two
“You have stated multiple times before that you’re a fan of many people, whether they’re artists or creators of some sort. Any you’d like to mention?”
“The Sturniolo triplets, easy. They’re content creators; they make these car videos and they’re absolutely hilarious. I found them on Tiktok about a year ago, and I’ve been watching them ever since.”
A single answer to a question had your fans going absolutely ballistic.
It was your fault, of course, but you didn’t think they would act like this. In every one of your posts, more comments than not were about the triplets. You found it more funny than anything, knowing that your fans were just excited that you enjoyed the same things they did.
At the closing show of your tour, you had just finished your last song, and you looked out at the crowd one last time to realize that this wasn’t going to go away. A single sign in the crowd had you laughing and shaking your head.
DO A VIDEO WITH THE TRIPLETS
You pointed at the sign as you walked back to leave the stage. “The ball is in their court, now.” You said, the crowd going ballistic as you finally stepped off of the stage.
After that, it seemed radio silent for a while, but you had no idea what was going on behind the scenes. It had been only a few weeks since that show, and you were just hanging out at your apartment, one of your best friends sitting across from you on the couch.
“Y/n, have you seen this?”
You looked up from your phone and glanced at her screen, a video of your last concert playing. The sign was shown before it was turned around and the camera was on you. You saw you grin and laugh at the sign and point, saying what you said before. The moment you finished, you heard the fan scream and other screams around her completely fucking with the speaker.
“I mean, I remember that happening, but I haven’t seen the video, why?” You asked, handing her phone back to her. She raised her eyebrows and kept her phone screen facing you.
“It’s viral.”
Your eyes immediately went to the likes, and you were shocked to see there were over four million. “Holy shit.” You mumbled, your phone vibrating in your hand. You looked down, your jaw dropping when you saw the DM before you. “Holy shit!”
nicolassturniolo: hey! would you want to be in a car video??
You stared at the screen, completely speechless as you looked between the DM and your friend. “What the fuck do I say?” You asked, finally opening the message. She laughed from across from you and you couldn’t help but stare at her, completely bewildered.
“Say yes? It’s a pretty simple answer.” She said. You nodded your head and answered Nick quickly, asking him when they wanted to meet up. “How are you fangirling right now?”
You looked up again and frowned. “Because I’m a loser, obviously.” You said, your friend laughing and shaking her head as she dropped back down on her side of the couch.
You and Nick messaged back and forth, you finding out the details of the video and where they wanted to meet up. You decided tonight would be best for both of your schedules, and you were chomping at the bit to get ready and get there. You’d never done anything casual like this, only professional interviews and somewhat press-related conversations. You had no idea what was going to happen in this video, except for the general idea of it being a Q&A between the four of you.
Driving to the meetup spot had your entire body on high alert, excited to meet the triplets, but also terrified to do so. You were a fangirl at heart, but you refused to show it. You pulled into the parking lot, looking around for the van.
The moment you saw it, you took a deep breath and pulled up next to it, frowning and looking around at the desolate parking lot. Before you could even fully get out of the car, Nick was opening the back door of the van and waving at you. You grinned and shut your door, locking your car out of habit and heading towards the van.
“Hey, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Nick said, stepping out of the van and giving you a hug.
You chuckled and pulled away, shrugging your shoulders. “You too! I’m not gonna lie, I was nervous as hell on the drive over.” You said, following Nick’s lead and climbing into the van after him, awkwardly climbing over him. You looked at Matt and Chris, your smile wide as you nodded in acknowledgement. “Hey.”
“Why were you nervous?” Matt asked, your cheeks heating up as you shrugged your shoulders.
“I’m a big fan, and extremely awkward, if you couldn’t tell.” You said, the three of them laughing and adjusting themselves to face you.
“It’s totally fine, you should have seen Nick before you pulled up.” Chris said, Nick’s jaw dropping to the floor as you looked over at him with a similar expression. The conversation mellowed out shortly after that, your nerves dissipating as you got more comfortable.
“Okay, so here’s our idea.” Nick started, your eyes meeting his immediately. “You hide behind Chris’ seat while we introduce the video, and when we say we have a special guest, you pop up and introduce yourself.” He finished. You nodded your head, fighting your smile as you wedged yourself between Chris’ seat and the seat you were sitting in on the floor.
“Matt, go check the camera.” Nick said. You covered your mouth to avoid laughing at the ensuing argument.
“Nick, why do you never check the fucking camera, this is ridiculous.” Matt grumbled, climbing out of the car to check it. Nick looked down at you, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. You snorted, and waited patiently for Matt to get back into the car.
“Alright. Today, we’re doing a Q&A, but we have a little surprise for everyone.” Chris said. He adjusted in his seat, you only knowing this because the movement pushed you into the other seat harshly. You couldn’t help but groan at the pressure of the seat against your side, smacking your hand over your mouth as Nick threw his head back and laughed.
“We have a special guest, if you couldn’t tell by Chris breaking her ribs. Come on out, reveal yourself.” Nick said. You shoved yourself out from behind the seat, your hand pressed against your side as the four of you laughed. “So, a video went viral of Y/n at one of her concerts challenging us to get her in a video.”
You scoffed and looked at Nick. “It wasn’t a challenge at all. Someone in the crowd had a sign that said I needed to be in a car video, and all I said was that the ball was in your court.” You defended playfully, Nick holding his hands up in mock defense. “I didn’t realize how insane that interview would go. I said I was a fan, and all of a sudden everyone was tagging me in your posts and telling me I needed to be in a video.” You said, shrugging your shoulders.
“Alright, introduce yourself to the video, and tell them if you have anything coming up, if you want.” You looked at Matt after he spoke, realization dawning on you as you nodded and finally looked at the camera.
“Oh, right. I’m Y/n. I just announced my new single Changes that comes out in a few days, go listen if you want.” You said, looking between the three of them to make sure that was alright. Chris chuckled and nodded, facing the camera and pulling his phone from his pocket.
“So, this Q&A is different for a few reasons. One; we have a special guest, which you already know. And two; we decided to ask her some questions, and she’s going to ask some questions that she has for us. We will be answering some fan questions as well, since we only came up with a handful of questions.” Chris said, Nick gesturing for him to speed up.
The video progressed with the four of you rapid fire asking questions about your careers and other random things, occasionally debating when someone said something the others thought was outrageous.
“How long have you been a fan of ours?” Chris asked. You met his eyes and felt your face heat up before you looked away quickly and shrugged.
“I saw a clip of one of your videos on Tiktok about a year ago, and looked that specific video up. It was the one where Nick’s yelling about a staff, I believe.” You said, Nick sighing and shaking his head.
Chris chuckled and nodded his head. “Nick yelling seems to be a common theme in people looking us up, so that makes sense.”
“When did you become a fan of mine?” You asked, Nick nearly dropping his drink as he put it into the cupholder. You laughed and braced yourself as Nick held up his hands.
“I found your first album by accident a few months after it came out, and I blasted it on repeat for weeks after that. I may have forced Matt and Chris to listen to it, but they fucked with it heavy, no matter what they say.” Matt rolled his eyes with a smile and grabbed his phone, scrolling through the questions.
“It’s not my type of music, but it definitely isn’t bad. The lyrics were definitely my favorite part, you’ve got a way with words.” Chris said, Matt nodding and meeting your eyes as well.
You blushed and smiled awkwardly. “Thank you, that means a lot. I always try to tell a story with my songs, so I’m glad that my lyrics show that.” Jesus, you couldn’t take a compliment to save your life.
A few more questions were asked and answered before Matt spoke up.
“This is a fan question; who’s your celebrity crush?” Matt read, dropping his phone into his lap and looking back at you. You looked up and thought for a moment before shrugging.
“I guess the easy answer is Ryan Gosling, or something, but I’m not exactly sure—oh! I take that back, Harry Styles for sure. I’d love to do a song with him, it’s been one of my dreams since I started making music.” You rambled, the three of them humming and nodding their heads. “What about you guys?”
Matt spoke first, his answer completely outrageous and out there. Nick refused to answer, and that’s when all three of you realized that Chris was silent. You looked at him, his eyes focused on the center console.
“Chris?” You asked. He looked up then, which is when you noticed his pink cheeks.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to answer this question, let's move on.” He said, turning to face forward again. You frowned and looked between Matt and Nick, who were staring at Chris confused.
“Why are you acting so weird—oh.” Nick said, the confusion on his face morphing into a sly smirk. “I see.” He said, looking at Matt. It took Matt a little longer to get there, but soon he was grinning and shoving Chris’ arm.
“Come on, Chris. Just say it.” He teased, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked between all of them.
“I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but alright.” You said, turning your attention to Chris. He shook his head and looked over at Matt.
“I’m not saying it, just move on.” He said, an amused smile on his lips.
“Why? Is it because she’s in the car?” Nick asked. Your face heated up immediately, your eyes meeting Chris’ shocked gaze. Matt smacked his hand over his mouth to cover up the laugh that nearly knocked him forward.
“Nick, cut that out.”
Nick’s laughter rang through the van as he fell backwards in his seat and shook his head, Chris’ embarrassed chuckle pushing past his lips as he looked at you one more time.
“You could have denied it!” Matt finally said, all four of you completely losing it and doubling over. You’d never laughed so hard in your life, and you were glad you agreed to do this.
Chris sat up and wiped at his eyes, the remnants of his laughter still showing on his face as he shook his head. “I could have denied it, but I’m not a liar.” He said, avoiding your eyes completely as he took a sip of his Pepsi. “So yeah, my celebrity crush is Y/n, sue me.”
Your mouth went dry, not expecting him to say it out loud so bluntly.
“Okay! Next question!” Nick said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. You shook your head and smiled as you waited for his question. He dropped his phone in his lap, a mischievous smile on his face as he gestured to you. “Who’s your favorite triplet?”
You groaned and threw your head back, looking forward again to see all three pairs of eyes glued to you intently. You blinked and looked between them, shaking your head when seeing their goofy smiles.
“I plead the fifth, absolutely not.” You said, all of them laughing and shaking their heads.
“Oh, come on! Just say it!” Matt said, resting his head on his hand and widening his eyes at you.
“No feelings will be hurt, just tell us.” Nick said, your eyes meeting his as you shook your head.
“It’s me, guys. It’s official.” Chris said, your head whipping in his direction. Your face felt like it was on fire as the silence continued and he held your gaze. Nick was the first to lose it, grabbing your arm as he dropped forward and laughed uncontrollably.
“What is with you two?! Just deny it or something!” He said, Matt and Chris joining in and covering their faces with their hands. You sighed and shook your head.
“I’m not a liar, either. Let’s move on.” You said, picking up your phone and going through your notes app.
“Favorite song, not just by me, any song in general.” You said, the conversation changing immediately. When everyone was done filming, you said your goodbyes and stepped out of the car. You weren’t expecting them all to jump out of the car as well.
“Do you mind taking a picture with us for our photo dump? It’s totally cool if not.” Nick asked.
“Oh! For sure, could I get a picture for my Instagram too?” They nodded, and you took a few pictures, some were serious and others were ridiculous. You each exchanged numbers, sending over the pictures that were taken on each of your phones. When the pictures were done and the four of you were just laughing at all of the photos, you looked at each of them. “I had a lot of fun! Thank you for having me.” You said, pulling Nick into a hug.
“Oh, of course! You should come hang out with us sometime, whenever you’re free.” He said as he pulled away. You nodded and accepted the hug from Matt, biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes met Chris’ after you pulled away.
He hesitated but shrugged his shoulders and held out his arms. You chuckled and walked towards him, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. Your heart was racing as you pulled away and smiled at him, hoping he didn’t notice the burning in your cheeks.
“Again, it was so nice to meet you. Text me if you ever want to make plans, okay?” You said, the three of them nodding and waving as you got into your car.
The drive back to your apartment was long, your exhaustion finally hitting you as you checked the dash and saw it was three in the morning. God, you were going to be exhausted at your meetings tomorrow. You finally pulled into the parking garage and got out of your car, locking the door as your phone vibrated in your pocket. It wasn’t until you laid in your bed and plugged in your phone that you checked the notification, your heart pounding as you read the text, a shocked laugh leaving your lips.
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1K notes · View notes
benkeibear · 1 year
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⋆꙳✧༄ Making out with them
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❖ Characters: Reo, Kunigami, Nagi
❖ Reader: genderneutral
❖ Summary: what making out with them is like
❖ WARNINGS: Kissing, making out, mentions of sex (briefly hinted to it happening)
❖ A/n: don’t want to miss a post? Sign up for my Taglist in my Navi!
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☰ Reo:
ꕤ Reo is very timid in the beginning since he got raised in a very rich household and doesn't want to risk any scandals happening
ꕤ If you're with him for a while and he trusts you not to use him, he will be so much more open and relaxed
ꕤ He gets so eager now to hold you, kiss you, have you
ꕤ Absolutely loves it when you sit on his lap, holding you close and looking up at you as if you're an angel with the light illuminating you so beautiful
ꕤ His lips are so very soft against yours, his kisses quite sweet but the longer you kiss, the more he loses himself
ꕤ Reos soft hands grab at your clothes, your curves and just everything he can reach, wanting to be even closer if that's possible
ꕤ His tongue dances eagerly with yours, dominating your mouth and claiming you as his in a heated kiss
ꕤ only pulling away to look at each other with glossy eyes, your shared saliva making your lips shine softly in the light
ꕤ he can't stay parted for long before his lips find yours again - worshiping your soft lips with his
ꕤ worshiping… that's something he does with your entire body soon after, tangled in the sheets and clothes long gone
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☰ Kunigami:
ꕤ Kunigami is very shy at first, not because he's scared but he's rather nervous, wanting to make everything right
ꕤ He wants you to fall into him, mind wiped clean by his lips and unable to think of anything but him - being rather selfish for once
ꕤ He hates this possessive side of his but you're his and he wants to claim you as such over and over again
ꕤ When making out things get heated pretty quickly with him laying on top of you, legs tangled to the point where neither of you knows where one starts and the other ends
ꕤ It's as if you become one as soon as your lips lock, slightly chapped lips gently kissing yours as his strong hands hold you close
ꕤ his hands either find their way to your hair or he wraps his arms around you, resting half of his weight on you but he needs you to know that you're his
ꕤ His tongue invades your mouth the moment your lips part for him, making an effort at gently massaging yours with his own
ꕤ With this proximity you two share, it's no surprise that most times it ends with more than just kissing
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☰ Nagi:
ꕤ Nagi that sweet boy, oh my. The first move definitely needs to be made by you
ꕤ Kiss him when he's giving more attention to his video game or reward him with a sweet kiss when he wins, I promise he will focus only on you the second your lips are on his
ꕤ he might whines a little if you do it mid game but the way he holds onto you and pulls you closer on his lap are proof enough that he enjoys it
ꕤ He gets so lost in your kisses it's really sweet, slender fingers dipping under your shirt just to touch your skin in an effort to be closer - he doesn't even notice it when it happens
ꕤ pouts when you pull back for even a second, kissing is just too comfortable when it's with you cuddled up that close and he doesn't want it to stop
ꕤ Nagi will pepper kisses along your jaw and neck if you stop kissing him, trying to get you to kiss him again
ꕤ If he's too impatient he might just be so bold and claim your lips with his again, gently swiping your lips with his tongue but leaving you to chase his tongue back into his mouth
ꕤ Since he's quite touchy already, things get heated really fast, begging you with soft whispers to please ride him
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Network: @tokyometronetwork
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sister-lucifer · 3 months
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A Bullet in the Chamber
Proxies (Hoodie, Masky, Toby) x Gender Neutral Reader
Genre: Horror/Dark Angst 
Summary: They want you to prove your love, to prove that you truly believe you’re meant to be together…with the help of Tim’s revolver, of course.
Content/Warnings: God, where do I start…obviously massive use of a gun, they play russian roulette, descriptions of gore, the proxies are super manipulative and emotionally abusive to reader, just a super obsessive not healthy relationship, this is NOT a feel good fic, it’s implied reader is being held captive 
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
“We just wanna…play a little game with you, that’s all,” Tim drawls, his voice deep and lazy as he looks at you from behind his mask. 
You’re nervous suddenly. Unbearably nervous. A cold chill runs throughout your body and makes your stomach convulse in an agonizing manner, and you don’t know if you’re going to vomit or pass out first. You don’t know why. He’s only just started speaking. Maybe it’s the way he drew out the last part of that sentence, or the way he immediately tried to soothe you before you’ve even fully understood what’s going on, or just that look in his eyes that says ‘I want to fucking gut you.’ 
There’s a reason you learned to keep your guard up around these three.
Suddenly the little circle you’re all sitting in on the floor feels much, much tighter than is comfortable, and it doesn’t help that Toby slides in closer, bumping your shoulder with his and flashing you a knowing smirk. What exactly he knows, though, is a horrific enigma to you.
Brian is on your other side, and although he doesn’t move, for a split second he glances at you out of the corner of his eye before his gaze returns to Tim. He’s managing to hold a straight face, but you can see the corners of his mouth just barely twitching as he internally fights to keep the emotion bubbling beneath the surface at bay.
There’s silence for a few moments, you’re not sure how long, but you don’t realize they’re waiting for you to speak until Toby nudges you.
“I, uh…what, um— what kind of game…?” You stammer, immediately regretting your question despite the curiosity that’s gnawing at you like a starving animal. You shudder when Toby giggles, clearly trying to stifle the sound as he bumps your shoulder again. 
Tim thinks over his answer for a moment, scratching at his stubble in a manner that is far too casual. You think he’s going to speak, you’re expecting it, but he doesn’t say anything at first beyond a tired sounding sigh. Your eyes are locked onto his hand as it reaches behind him, and when it emerges once more it’s holding onto the grip of Tim’s revolver. 
“There’s one bullet in the chamber.” 
The world is spinning suddenly as you watch him place the weapon on the ground, and the sound of it sliding across the floor to you makes you sick. You bite back a gag as it slows to a stop in front of you. Your mouth hangs open uselessly as you struggle for words, desperate to pull out some sort of protest to what you know he wants but no sound comes. 
They watch you grapple with yourself for a few moments before Brian places a hand on your knee. It’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, and normally it would be, but now it feels like a threat. 
“Hey, don’t freak out so soon,” He says, lips curled into a subtle smirk, “We did this all the time when we were younger, it’s practically a rite of passage.”
Unsurprisingly, this does little to quell your fears. You’re shaking now, unable to wrap your mind around how they could be acting so nonchalant about putting your lives on the line like this.
“Listen,” Tim huffs, “I’m gonna be straight with ya, kid. We know how you’ve been feeling recently.” 
That hardly narrows it down. You’ve been feeling a lot of things recently, none of it good and all of it confusing. That’s just the sort of conflict born from this kind of captivity. You shrug, unsure what to say. 
“We know you w-wanna leave,” Toby clarifies, “I saw you staring out t-the window the other day…you just s-sat there for hours.” 
That…made you feel a bit guilty. You shouldn’t, but you do. You could’ve at least made it less obvious. 
“We trust you, hon,” Brian adds with a nod, “But we also think we could all use a little…what did you call it?”
He turns to Tim, who yawns before answering. 
“…Group bonding.” 
You shudder at the phrase. Disgusting. 
“I…I don’t think this is the best way to…t-to do that,” You murmur, but your words hold no weight when you can’t even look them in the eyes. You’d never take the risk of making any sort of real fuss anyways.
Tim shrugs, seeming to consider your words. 
“How would you do it, then?” 
You…don’t have an answer for that. Why don’t you have an answer for that? 
“I-I don’t know, I mean…can’t we just have awkward group sex like other, uh…groups, or whatever?” You ask, hesitating to call your dynamic any sort of relationship.
You make sure to tack on a nervous laugh at the end to make it seem lighthearted, but no one is amused. Toby giggles, but he’s laughing at you, and it’s painfully obvious. 
“Don’t stress about it,” Tim says, “Just think of it as a…a test, you know?” 
He sighs when you shake your head no.
“Ya know, like…a way of proving yourself. I mean, you trust us, right?” 
You hesitate to answer that, but nod quickly when Tim narrows his eyes at you. 
“Good. Well, think of it this way: if we all survive this, it’s a sign that we’re…meant to be together.”
“There has to be a better way—“ You blurt out before you can stop yourself, and Brian instantly takes to calming you. 
He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into his side. His other hand comes up to your face, holding your head against his shoulder.
“Calm down, baby,” He says softly, “Don’t jump ship so fast. I told you, we’ve all done this before. We’ll even go first to show you there’s nothing to be afraid of, alright?”
He’s not really giving you a choice. 
You nod.
Maybe you’ll be able to just get this over with. If you sit here for much longer, you’re gonna be sick. 
Toby reaches out to grab the gun first. That doesn’t surprise you at all. He’s never been one for forethought, or common sense in general. One day his hubris will get him killed, you think, but for once you’re hoping it won’t be today. 
Not today. 
Not here.
Not right in front of you. 
Brian doesn’t let you go, continuing to hold you against him as Toby makes a show of spinning the chamber, letting it run until it stops on its own. He giggles with deranged amusement as he presses the end of the barrel to the bottom of his chin, looking back at Tim with a crooked grin. 
There’s silent for a few moments, and you can’t look away from him until you follow his gaze to Tim, who is staring back with furrowed brows.
He’s still for a beat, and then he nods. 
A signal. 
Go. 
You have a split second to process Toby preparing to pull the trigger before you bury your face in Brian’s hoodie and he, in turn, covers your face with his hand and squeezes you tight. It’s hardly comforting, but it’s better than nothing. 
The soft click of the trigger seems to echo endlessly in the silence that follows. 
Silence. 
You quickly look back up and are immediately met with Toby’s hazel eyes looking back at you, their corners crinkled with the wide smile that’s spread across his pale face. 
“Lookie there,” He drawls with a laugh, “This h-handsome face is still in tact.” 
“Hardly the better outcome,” Tim mutters with a roll of his eyes.
This prompts Toby to slide the gun to him next, crossing his arms in feigned hurt. 
“You go n-next then, wise guy. If you blow y-your brains out, at least we’ll know you h-had one.” 
“Shut up,” Tim hisses back as he, too, brings his hand up to spin the chamber of the revolver. You’re still trying to catch your breath. You didn’t think they’d be so eager. 
You’re gripping onto Brian’s hoodie so tightly your knuckles burn as you watch Tim press the barrel of the gun to his jaw, angling it upwards toward the dome of his skull.
He’s not nearly as giddy as Toby. He’s straight faced and silent, which isn’t odd, but something in his eyes is darker than you ever remember it being. You can only see his eyes with his mask on, yet you know his expression exactly. He’s staring right at you, and you’re imagining his brains dashed against the wall behind him, his face and any identifying features that once made him human reduced to a splatter of viscera that barely resembles the pieces of a person. 
And when it’s all over, you think, you’ll surely be the one left to clean the mess of what used to be Tim. You’ll be left to scrub the red stains from the floorboards while the others continue on as if nothing has happened, and suddenly you can’t breathe.
The world stills as once more the trigger is pulled with a click.
Then relief hits you like a shockwave when that click is followed by silence.
Silence.
Your lungs fill faster than you were ready for, and you cough and sputter as your chest heaves with newfound breath. Brian rubs your shoulder gently, his other hand reaching out to grab the revolver as Tim slides it to him. The gun is exchanged without a word, only piercing eye contact as Brian lifts the weapon and spins the chamber, just as his companions had done before him. 
It seems so natural for all of them. In the half a second it takes for Brian to lift the gun you wonder how many times they’ve done this, if you’re the first  person to witness this ritual, and if not, what happened to those who came before you. 
You don’t find any hope of getting answers, though, as you watch Brian press the barrel to the side of his head. He gives you a squeeze, and you can’t tell if he’s assuring you or saying goodbye just in case. 
You still haven’t released his hoodie despite the throbbing pain in your fingers. You’re barely a thread away from tearing out a patch, but you can’t let go. You don’t look at him this time, unable to pull your head away from where it rests on his shoulder. You wrap your arms around him and squeeze like you’re trying to crush him, but he only lets out a breathy chuckle and ruffles your hair in response as if he’s amused by your terror. You’re a scared kid to him, a foolish little child running from an imaginary monster despite the very real threat. 
You can hear his hoodie shifting as he adjusts the position of the gun. You can hear the slight scratching against his hair as the barrel moves against his head. You can hear him suck in a quick breath as he readies himself to pull the trigger. 
You hear the click. 
And then silence. 
Silence.
You’ve never been so grateful for silence. 
You nearly jump out of your skin when Toby claps and laughs loudly, practically howling with wildly misplaced celebration. He shakes you in his excitement, unable to get any intelligible words out through his giggling. 
“Shhh,” Brian says with a finger to his lips, “We’re not done yet.”
He’s right. Goddamnit, he’s right. Not everyone has played yet. You were hoping that maybe just this once the higher being that trapped you in this hell would have this minuscule mercy on you, but you were met with a resounding no. 
Brian places the gun on the floor in front of you. You can’t hear the sound of the metal gently knocking against the wood floor, but it makes you feel ice cold. Your world is rapidly going dark as you struggle to make yourself breathe. 
You can feel the others’ eyes on you, three pairs of eyes staring right at you and boring a hole through your skull that’ll surely be identical to the one the bullet will leave. Maybe they’re imagining it, too. 
It seems you’re not moving fast enough for them.
Toby reaches out and grabs your wrist a bit too roughly, forcefully placing your hand on the gun. You wince like you expect it to burn, but you’re left with only the cruel sensation of metal on your palm. 
You weakly curl your fingers around the grip of the gun. It feels impossibly heavy as you lift it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. You force your other hand up, placing two fingers on the chamber of the revolver as you prepare to spin it.
You press the pads of your fingers against the metal, pushing down in an attempt to spin, but the gun slips from your shaking hands and clatters to the floor. You yelp in surprise and clamp your hands over your mouth, tears suddenly forming in your eyes but refusing to flow over. 
Brian sighs. You can’t tell if he’s annoyed or just disappointed. He picks up the gun, and you think that maybe, just maybe he’s going to let you out, grant you some small reprieve and tell you you don’t have to do this. 
Instead he wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close, and his other hand presses the barrel of the gun right to your head. 
“I’ll do it for you,” He says, as if it’s nothing serious. Like he’s just grabbing a box off a high shelf to be nice. 
You feel like he’s strangling you. He might as well be. It would be a more humane death. 
He’s going to kill you, you think, you’re going to die in this godforsaken house with these bastards, you’re going to die in isolation with no one to honor your body. 
They’ve sentenced you to death. 
You think back to that question of how many have come before you. Is this what they thought about, too? Is this the first, third or twentieth time someone like you has been here? How many unfortunate circumstances have stained the floorboards red over the years this cabin has stood? 
It doesn’t matter. 
None of that matters. 
You’re going to be the next. 
That’s all there is for you to be now. 
A stain of red on the old wood floors will be your only legacy. 
You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you look up at Brian. His expression doesn’t move an inch. There’s no trace of the humor he always seems to have, not even a hint of feigned compassion or sympathy for your position. He’s not letting you out of this. None of them are. 
You reach down and grab Brian’s hand where it rests in your hip, your nails digging into his knuckles. He doesn’t react. He doesn’t even move beyond adjusting his finger to pull the trigger. 
Each second seems to go on for an eternity, yet at the same time everything is moving far too fast. You can’t process what’s happening but you just want it over with, that’s your only choice. 
He’s lifting his finger, preparing to bring it down on the trigger. 
He’s pressing the barrel of the gun into your skin just a bit harder as he readies himself for whatever happens next. 
This is it. 
This is it. 
This is it this is it this is it this is it this is it this is it this is…
The trigger clicks. 
Then there’s silence. 
…it.
Silence.
And then Toby erupts with animalistic, ecstatic laughter. It rings in your ears and echoes around your skull in an almost painful manner. You can’t stand the sound. 
You’re alive. 
The game is over. 
All at once relief floods your body in such an overwhelming manner your vision goes dark. You can’t speak a word before you’ve gone limp in Brian’s arms, and he barely has time to put the revolver down and catch you. He holds you in his arms and makes a half hearted attempt to wake you, but when you don’t respond he looks up at Tim with a smirk. 
“Out like a light.” 
Tim can’t help but chuckle, and for a moment it’s even a full on laugh. This only encourages Toby, who’s flopped over onto his back as his body writhes with mirth. 
Brian groans as he stands, pulling your body up with him. He throws you over his shoulder and nods to the others. 
“I’m taking this one up stairs, gonna put ‘em to bed. I’m sure they’ll be whiny when they wake up, and you two better deal with it.”
Tim and Toby nod and wave him away. Toby’s finally stopped laughing enough to pull himself off the floor as Tim picks up the revolver. He shoves it into Toby’s chest, nearly pushing him over. 
“Go put it up,” Tim orders. 
“Or what?” Toby teases as he takes the gun, “You g-gonna get mad ‘cause I won’t clean up y-your toys?” 
“Just do it,” Tim demands with a growl, clearly not amused. Toby rolls his eyes and huffs like a defiant child, but nods. 
Tim starts to walk away, headed upstairs to his own room, but he pauses on the first step and turns to Toby. 
“Oh, and don’t forget to load it,” He adds, “If it’s empty the next time I need it, I’m gonna kill you.” 
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mvltisstuff · 10 months
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hi!! i use tumblr on safari - so i’m unable to answer any messages - but i would like to put in a request for conrad fisher x fem! reader smut!
if your comfortable, could you do a imagine with an innocent/virgin reader that is constantly flustered by conrad?
thank you so much!! <<33
champagne & sunshine - c.f**
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summary: request
conrad fisher x reader
a/n: i get so nervous posting smut (for literally no reason😭), but i still hope you enjoy this 🩶 warning for smut.
the bonfires were always a good time, usually. once you grow up, the hype of them dies down a bit. belly begged y/n to come, being her older sister figure. it was y/n’s birthday, so belly convinced her that it would be fun. besides, y/n’s mom had been letting her drink today, as long as she was home and with close people. y/n figured she’d leave it at that, not bothering to take anything at the party.
she threw one of the cans in the bag at the corner of the beach, avoiding the full boxes of hard seltzer as her eye landed on conrad and jeremiah entering the beach. luckily, the fire wasn’t bright enough to illuminate her bright red cheeks. she walked away from the drinks, turning away from conrad but also trying to make herself seem noticeable.
she’d grown up with the conklins and fishers next door, but she always had the biggest crush on conrad. every single time he walked in, her heart raced and almost everyone knew it. belly always teased her, someone noticing before she even knew she liked him.
conrad had always had his eyes on y/n. conrad, y/n, and steven had been the oldest, so it was usually him and her together. she acted like she barely knew him, when he probably knew her better than anyone else. now that they were both eighteen, legal adults, they could do pretty much whatever they pleased. somehow, y/n still found herself blushing like a little girl. conrad was one of the first to show her any attention. boys never cared about her at home, and he always made her feel wanted. she was always a shadow to her friends, who had guys clinging to them. she sat around with other people talking about sex and other stuff that y/n pretended to know about. it made her a little bit embarrassed, but who really cares? her whole friend group would laugh at her humorously if they found out she was a virgin, but again, who cares, right?
it wasn’t until she was sitting on the warm sand, feeling it in her hands as she slid them across the floor, that conrad sat next to her on the beach. the music was blaring, so y/n brought herself away to just observe people for a little bit. someone must’ve had the same idea if they tread all the way over to sit with her.
“you got dragged here, too?” conrad asks first.
“belly, jeremiah for you, i assume?”
“the one and only,” conrad laughs, as he kicks away an empty bottle. “you’re not drinking anything?”
“nah, i don’t really feel like it tonight. i’d rather just enjoy my birthday sober, unlike everyone else,” she tells him, pointing to the stumbling people surrounding the fire.
“you’re not the only one,” conrad says. “so it’s just us, huh?”
“y-yeah,” y/n stutters. “i mean, i didn’t even bother getting all dressed up for this shit.”
“i think you look beautiful either way,” he says, and when y/n looks up, his eyes are softly on hers, refusing to crack the shell between them. y/n pauses, looking at conrad dumbfounded. she never has boys call her beautiful, let alone the one she’s been hopelessly in love with for years. but, they always say love hits you when you least expect it. y/n thought that was a lie, but she really believed it for now.
“you too, connie,” she spits out, not bothering to change the adjective for him because everyone is beautiful. he adjusts himself to sit closer to y/n, trying to relieve some of the tension. his eyes can’t help but wander across her body, taking in every part of her that’s breathtaking to him. and the cropped tank top and shorts that she’s wearing isn’t fucking helping his case either. she’d be lying if she wasn’t checking him out, too. his sharp jawline, his hands, his radiant eyes, his lips could never be missed by y/n. someone this pretty deserves to be looked at, they both think without speaking.
“do you wanna head out? come to my place for a bit?” conrad asks, standing up and holding his hand out as she nods up at him, anticipating a night alone.
before y/n can even begin to think straight, their lips are crashed together in his car. she’s leaning over the cup holders in the center, and her hands are against his face. his hands are placed on her hips as he can’t help but steer his mind away from his tongue in her mouth. he never in a million years thought he’d see this side of her, and she never thought she’d see it in herself. she’s kissed guys before, but never this intimately. conrad pulls away, smiling against her lips before connecting them again. every single time this happens, y/n swears her heart skips a beat in the best way possible. like their lips set off fireworks in the car. they decided to leave the vehicle, climbing up the stairs, trying not to disturb the moms watching a movie. conrad places his hands on her thighs, lifting her up and placing y/n gently on his bed. he climbs up as well, letting her legs wrap around him as their kiss does nothing but intensify.
her hands roam all around his body, his waist, his shoulders, his neck. the only time they separate is for a breath of air, just until they can return again. conrad’s wander over her chest, placing one of his hands to squeeze her breasts.
“is this ok?” conrad waits for confirmation until he gets a yes. after, in response, y/n tugs off conrad’s shirt, discarding it to the floor somewhere in his room. her hands run down his back. “if you want to stop, tell me and we’ll stop the second you say it.”
“ok,” she peeps out. “but if this does go any further, i’ve never done any of… this, before.”
“we can stop, y/n, whenever you want.”
“no! no, i want to keep going. can we just, go slower, maybe?”
“anything you need,” conrad reassures her before moving down the waistband of her shorts. “can i take these off?”
“yes,” she tells him, clearly and assertively as he takes off the tank top, too, leaving her in just a gray bra on his bed.
“have you ever… ever been eaten out before?” he asks. she shakes her head no, slightly embarrassed so she puts her head down to cover it, but conrad sees right through it. “hey, look at me. you’re ok, i promise. can i keep going?”
“yeah, please,” she says, squirming in discomfort from her own arousal. the feeling is unfamiliar, wanting someone to touch her so bad as it’s at her fingertips. someone willing to love her is right in front of her. conrad begins to peel off y/n’s underwear, throwing it off the bed like his shirt, ending up somewhere on the floor. she pulls her legs apart, spreading them as conrad’s eyes fall deeper.
“god, y/n,” he says. “you’re so fucking hot.”
“conrad,” she begs, as he flattens himself down trying to ignore his own erection. he wants to pleasure her first, and knowing he’s the first one too might boost his ego a bit. but conrad would never admit that.
his face is an inch away from her pussy, beginning to kiss her inner thighs as she groans from the teasing. finally, his tongue makes contact with y/n’s slit, gathering up her arousal before swirling it around her clit. y/n’s head falls back onto the pillow again in pure pleasure, letting out a quiet moan for the first time. “oh, fuck yes,” she speaks out, making conrad try to contain a smile. he places his tongue on her clit again, moving his flat tongue up and down. he switches between those movements and wrapping his lips around it, sucking on her clit, causing her to fail at concealing her moans. y/n’s hand moves down to conrad’s hair, trying to ground herself on the bed from the ecstasy.
the second her climax starts rolling up onto her, her legs start shaking and that tells conrad that you’re close. “f-fuck, con- oh my god,” she pants out, trying to formulate words but failing. her orgasm creeps up and sends her over the edge, releasing a strong moan from her lips as she comes down from the high, his fingers are gently circling over her clit.
“that was, um, holy shit, that was amazing, conrad,” she smiles as he pulls himself back up to her.
“are you feeling alright?”
“better than ever,” she says, making conrad laugh as he moves over to his drawer. he pulls out the box of condoms before taking one out.
“do you wanna keep going?”
“yeah, i do.”
conrad moves back over, dropping his pants and rolling to condom on. y/n gazes at his length, wondering how she would be able to take it. with conrad here, she knew she would be ok, so they continued. he walks back over, pulling her legs apart and making eye contact with her again. “remember, we can always stop no matter what, ok? just say stop, and we can stop.” she nods and he leans in closer. he plants a sweet kiss on her lips before pulling away, it was her turn to smile against his lips.
once settled in between her legs, conrad begins to run his tip up her slit. he confirms that she’s doing alright and that she’s ready to keep going. after he’s aware, he slides his dick into her, making her nose scrunch and release a high moan.
“you ok?”
“yes,” she replies. “yeah, you can go faster.”
conrad speeds up his pace, thrusting himself into y/n. she didn’t feel outright pain, just discomfort. that discomfort soon turned into pleasure, causing her mouth to hang open. “you feel so good, y/n/n, god damn.”
y/n’s hand falls down to her clit, circling it until she starts to bring that now familiar feeling up. conrad continues to keep the same pace, not changing it to make her feel comfortable and in control, just as much as he is. “i’ve loved you for so fucking long,” he spits out, not thinking about his words. y/n heard him loud and clear, but she’s too distracted by her orgasm coming up.
“conrad i’m close,” she tells him.
“me too, baby,” he says, breathless. “come for me, y/n.”
her release leaves her with stars in her head, the feeling better than anything she’s ever experienced. she was always worrying about sex and what it might be like, but with conrad, he made it amazing for her. she knew he was the right guy. he brings himself down, leaning onto her as he releases himself into the condom. he pulls out of her, throwing away the condom and pulling his boxers back on. y/n grabs her underwear, as she stands up wobbly. her legs are weak from her two orgasms from conrad, making him chuckle in the corner.
“hey, um,” y/n starts. “thank you.”
“yeah, of course,” he stutters a bit, not sure of what to say but trying to still wrap his head around it. he means, he just had sex with the hottest girl in cousins, what is he supposed to say? “you know, i meant what i said. i’ve liked you so much, for a long time.”
she just stares at him, confirming that she’s not in some dream. “i’ve been in love with you since the day i first saw you on the beach,” conrad steps over to her. placing his hands back on her bare waist and kissing her passionately again. he pulls back again to sadly, break the kiss off.
“we should probably clean up a bit, before everyone comes back and yells at us for leaving,” he says, brushing a loose piece of hair behind her ear. she nods, beginning to pull the rest of her clothes on. thank god she left that party when she did, or she would still love conrad, but never say it.
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