#to describe what i wish upon these people would get me eradicated from the face of the earth for safety concerns | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lessonsfrommadamexmas · 3 years

Text

EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this.

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive.

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”.

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see.

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others.

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first.

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them.

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach.

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared.

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness.

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top.

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns.

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9).

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood.

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”.

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around.

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army.

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there.

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage.

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her.

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them.

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him.

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead.

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests.

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind.

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth...

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner.

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them.

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest.

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent.

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality.

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for.

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself.

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible.

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else.

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious.

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human.

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.

#snk 137 #snk 138 #snk 139 #Eren Jaeger analysis #attack on titan manga and anime #enneagram #LONG post #eren jaeger #snk analysis

59 notes · View notes

silvadour · 3 years

Text

Attack on Titan: The End of an Era - Final Chapter Review

Disclaimer: This blog post contains MASSIVE spoilers towards the ending of Attack on Titan as well as the greater series. If you wish not to be spoiled on certain story aspects and character revelations, I kindly suggest reading the manga or waiting for the 2nd half of the Final Season to be released in Winter 2022. Furthermore, if you are not caught up with this and read this post anyway, kindly refrain from spreading information presented here as not to spoil the experience for other readers and watchers that have yet to see the very end of the story.

And now without further ado, let is begin with the blog post.

Well, we’ve reached the endpoint, we arrived at that scenic view. Attack on Titan’s story has finally ended and if I’m being frank with you…I’m satisfied with it.

I have to say it’s always a weird feeling of coming to face the truth that a story you like and have invested many years reading has finally come to an end, there’s just an underlying feeling that you wanna deny the reality of it but you also can’t deny that sense of closure you gain from it either. While the series started way back in the year 2009, I did not get invested in the manga’s story until late 2013 when the anime’s first season finished airing. And my experience with AoT has been a strange one. As a young teen, I was impressed by the action on display so much that I began craving more of it like a crack-headed squirrel; this, in turn, led me to read through internet message boards and forums for possible new information on the stories developments which unsurprisingly led me to find spoilers of later events (particularly the case with Reiner and Bertholdt’s identities) However, even by the time I reached that revelation in the story in the existence of the Coordinate plot element came into play, I was aboard for the dramatic thrill ride ever since. And by the time I was reading it and the story shifted from fighting humanoid monsters to actual humans in the Royal Government/Coup d’etat arc, I started thinking of Attack on Titan as a rather niche series that only a few people could understand even with its ridiculous surge of popularity in the early 2010s, and I never could have anticipated back then on how emotionally attached I would be to this series nor how well it portrays a morally grey story where both participating parties of an ongoing war suffer from the circumstances of their character and nature.

The opening page to the series

As a modern monthly shonen series, I can say that it’s certainly a step above other manga of its type in how it re-frames familiar shonen archetypes in much more grounded and grim settings, and I find that it’s because of that grounded feeling found in its writing and setting that Attack on Titan has garnered such a large following for the elements in the story make themselves easier for audiences to distill themselves in similar situations, the narrative creates a sense of audience inclusivity that allows readers to imagine themselves in situations of survival. However, once I heard the series would end at 139 chapters apart of me was wondering if the series would have enough time to address aspects of established lore and give character arcs a fitting conclusion, and suffice it to say, the series accomplished that though some feelings on them I’m still processing. So knowing this I think it would be best to tackle the ending of Attack on Titan by discussing each of the established themes and characters one at a time, starting with the theme of freedom and liberty.

��To either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”

Freedom and Liberty:

One of the major recurring themes in the story of AoT is that of the nature of finding true freedom. Freedom as a concept is described as the ability to speak, act or think by one’s own accord; freedom can be individual yet it can also be shared with various individuals. The story always made the best attempts at portraying both the positive and negative aspects of freedom in a morally grey manner. While the idea of wanting to do something of your own will, it all becomes a different story altogether depending on what the actions initiated from that free will end up being. One person’s freedom would naturally come to blows with the freedom of a collective group and trying to determine who is more rightfully just in their expression is never given a clear cut answer, case in point Eren’s yearning to be free of a world where he and his people aren’t demonized or viewed as cattle comes to blows with the antagonists’ (the nation of Marley) yearning to freely put him and the other Subjects of Ymir in their place as the two parties eventually engage in a long-standing war that has spanned for centuries. In an essay by John Stuart Mill, he presents an argument for the nature of human liberty that frames it as a double-edged sword; while it may stand as a tool to defend oneself from oppression and tyranny, it in of itself can be used as a tool to enforce other individuals into compliance and agreement should they not initially comply to certain established schools of thought. The expression of freedom is never displayed in an absolute black and white morality as each of the opposing parties have valid justifications for their expressions of personal freedoms (the nation of Marley’s long history being under the terror of the old Eldian Empire, and the island of Paradis being constantly invaded by Titans from Marley due to their history), rather the expressions freedoms are made due to self-interest.

Zeke describing Marley’s plan of action in order to ensure its future as a world superpower.

This is seen numerous times throughout the series, Ymir (104th Cadet) being used as a scapegoat for the cult that took her in, Erwin’s planned scapegoat execution during the royal government arc to ensure the original monarchy’s total rule over the population within the walls, the world nations following the bandwagon of Eldian discrimination as a political tactic of gaining advantages for the development of their nations through the extortion of the many Eldians around the world. Even with the characters that are standing on the “good” side still hold feelings of seeking self-interest as they are allowed so, solely due to the fact to want and something and act upon is part of their birthright just like any other human; case in point Eren and Historia at their most standout moments before the time-skip which would eventually coalesce with Eren’s meeting of the Founder, Ymir Fritz. This now brings me to the man himself, Eren Yeager.

Eren Yeager/Ymir Fritz:

When I first got into Attack on Titan, my opinion on the writing for Eren, especially in the manga’s early run, landed generally around middling. However, over time as I got further invested in the TV adaptation, I made attempts on doing retrospective rewatches to see whether my opinions on certain aspects of the story had changed; and during this time I found that my opinion of Eren changed to that of a more positive one. Throughout the series I saw this driven teenager coming to terms with his situation as a potential key for his people’s future, learning to quell his anger, as well coming to face the reality of his various failures all to eventually crack under the weight of the expectations he has placed onto himself, finally re-discovering his self-worth through the relationships he’s made with people closest to him only to have his reality crash right into his face when he finally discovers the truth of the world which bruises his idealistic nature.

To many of the fans that have seen Eren’s exploits in the latest season, his change in character might have come as a jarring shift since he has shifted to focus on eradicating the Titans to now eradicating the invaders of his home island. While the shift to different targets might seem like a strange change on the surface, fundamentally, Eren Yeager is still relatively the same character he was initially portrayed as, the only difference is that some of his more notable traits such as his anger, his battle tactics, and self-expression have just been more hardened due to the nature of his and homeland’s circumstances.

Eren is a prime believer of freedom, that any person is entitled to live free without feeling as if their freedoms are being imposed by others, solely on the basis that they were born into the living world. Should someone pose a threat to his freedom, he will not hesitate to steal freedom from others. And from the beginning till the very ending of the series his character writing remains consistent. Eren is a man lashing out against a prejudiced world that views him and his people as pure evil, he lashes not just for the sake of his freedom but for the freedom of those he cares for. However, throughout that lashing and emotional hardening he becomes something different from how he initially perceived himself.

For most of the manga’s final arc, Eren’s detached demeanor he presents onto his friends serves to highlight how he faces his challenges; he is more of a person that suppresses his grief and other vulnerable emotions because he has no choice but to appear strong and move forward when he cries out the world for something he wants, as a person ostracized by the world, his actions are indicative of the world telling him that he is not allowed to be viewed as a human being. His repeated fighting against Marley and the other allied nations can almost be interpreted as a cry for help. And throughout these actions, Eren was always consciously aware of his actions and the consequences that would be brought upon them, but he would never reveal his true feelings until he reached his two final goals, Ymir Fritz and his ultimate fate. When Eren first encountered Ymir Fritz he saw her as the absolute ruler of the Power of the Titans and wished to use her to finally make his true ambitions become a reality, however, during that process Eren realized that Ymir was so much more than a divine being. In his embrace of the Founder and in seeing her past through the Paths realm, Eren came to realize that Ymir was simply a human that much like him was ostracized and forced to harden her emotions out of fear of being further abused for appearing as weak; who trapped herself in ethereal realm due to her misguided understanding of “love” she had for her abuser, Karl Fritz I.

In recognizing her as a human, Eren sets Ymir free to finally act upon her own will for the first time in over 2000 years.

Personally, in this particular moment of Eren embracing Ymir with a hug and telling her the words she always wanted to hear “you are a human being”, I feel as if those words themselves are what Eren wanted to hear from someone who truly understood him and his reasons for going as far as does. Eren fights because he wants to end all fighting in the world, but he doesn’t know any other method besides fighting, much like Ymir, Eren needed someone to free him from himself. I find that Kenny Ackerman’s final words resonate with this scenario very strongly in retrospect: “We humans, are all the same…every last one of us. All of us had to spend our lives drunk on something or else we’d have no cause to keep pushing on. Everyone was a slave to something” (S03E10)

Eren’s “freedom” upon reaching that scenery he foresaw in his future visions.

At the moment of that embrace, Eren was fundamentally just like Ymir, a human child unable to cry due to repressing their emotions, Eren was only able to reach his external and internal goals in the final chapter through his relationship with Mikasa and Armin in their final interactions in which he imparted his freedoms and his dream to the two people he cared about most in the entire world. That being said in his fight for obtaining the ideal freedom for himself and his people, Eren only realized in his very last conversation with Armin that the freedom he sought after wasn’t only his. Armin’s final heart-to-heart made him re-acknowledge that the weight of his dreams for an ideal world shouldn’t be his to bear, even if ended endangering him and his loved ones. By refusing to entrust his dreams onto others, Eren was becoming a slave to his ambitions (in fact his appearance as the Founding Titan portrays him as a marionette), only to be finally set free (and possibly reincarnated as a bird, a common symbol of freedom in literature) by his best friend when he comes to understand him and offer him peace for all he has done for the sake of his people.

In his final meeting, Eren’s true self as the boy who lost all things he cherished in the beginning of the series confides with his best friend Armin on the actions and choices he has made, as well as finally reciprocating Mikasa's feelings of love.

Closing thoughts:

Overall, I find that Eren’s motivations and his character arc met my expectations of how I somewhat imagined the series would end. It didn’t end on a completely misanthropic note, but rather a bittersweet hopeful one. As even though the island of Paradis establishes a new military under Eren’s splinter cell faction, the Yeagerists, there is hope found in Armin carrying out the role that Eren always saw him, a hero and a purveyor of peace, as he, Jean, Connie, Annie, Reiner, and Pieck now taking on the role as ambassadors for the remaining population of Earth, embark to Paradis to begin peace negotiations. Whether the treaty succeeds is left entirely to the reader’s imagination (or Isayama adding more context in the volume edition of this chapter), but what I find truly beautiful about this ending of a series with clearly morally gray divisions, is that the people of those same divisions finally came to the realization that they are simply just people. They are not devils or angels, they are simply just people; not that much different from one another and willing to try and exist in a better tomorrow with each other. And what I love about this ending, even more, is that it finally bookends some goals and declarations that were said in the first half of the series: Eren wanting to eradicate the existence of Titans became a reality, after Eren’s death Armin took responsibility in claim he killed in turn that leads him to be viewed as a hero and purveyor for peace, Eren wrapping his scarf around Mikasa, all of these character declarations coming back in some unique form makes me love this series even more.

Your heart and soul to the cause.

Some may complain that this ending is not that great for it still doesn’t explain certain aspects of the story such as the nature of the Power of the Titans or the identity of Historia’s baby daddy or just general lack of presence in the final arc, but personally, I am content in not receiving a clear answer to some of those aspects, mostly because they either don’t matter or are already narratively complete, plus their open-ended-ness just offers me more chances to think about some aspects of the story and promote discussions around it. And while the use of mental time-travel ala Seers from Game of Thrones that were displayed by Eren’s use of the Attack Titan’ innate ability in the Paths realm, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t unsure or somewhat conflicted by the existence of mental time-travel; especially when time-travel as a narrative concept is INCREDIBLY easy to mess up. However, aside from these minor gripes, these were my overall thoughts towards the ending of Attack on Titan, we have reached the end of the story where Eren, Mikasa, and Armin’s respective character arcs came to a narratively true and satisfying conclusion. This is definitely a notable end of an era in the world of manga and pop culture. And without much left to say, all I can do is offer a salute to the author Hajime Isayama for his dedication to this story.

Thank you, Hajime Isayama.

#Attack on Titan #manga #AoT spoilers #AOT 139 #snk spoilers #text post #long post #shingeki no kyojin #thank you hajime isayama #Eren Yeager #Ymir Fritz #Armin Arlert

31 notes · View notes

the-rawr-ster · 3 years

Text

Title: To Die In Your Arms

Chapter 3: Jean’s Mom

W/C: 2301

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, sickness, death , and poverty.

A/N: Send an ask to be added to tag list. Sorry it took me so long to update, but I’ll try to update more often.

You looked at the boy, confused. Nobody had ever shown you kindness before, granted he was not nice about it, but the fact remains that it was a kind and selfless act.

Stuffing his mouth with an omelet, he says “You snore and drool in your sleep.”

You had been drooling at the sight of it. It was a struggle to get food at this time. You hadn’t even finished the bread the boy had given to you. You had been trying to spare it so it would last you a week.

“You shouldn’t eat that in public,” you whisper. “People kill over that stuff.”

The boy rolled his eyes and reached to unbutton his bag. Letting out a grunt, the boy struggled to unlatch the bag. He pulled something out, wrapped in a hunter-green cloth.

“Really,” he huffed, ” ‘Cause I brought extras.”

Your eyes widened. Why would anyone do that for you? Why would a boy who didn’t know you do that?

“What is it,” you asked.

“Do you want it or not?”

“Y-you brought this for me?”

“Obviously.”

You snatched the green cloth from him before retreating to your corner. “T-thank you.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t mention it.”

As you scarfed down your meal, the boy made his way to the edge of the roof. The wind brushed through his light brown hair. He leaned over as he rested his hands on the ledge for support, scanning the street below. Nothing but a dead dog and trash had been at the bottom of the building.

“Why,” He turns to you. “Why were you going to jump?”

The answer was simple, there was nothing left here for you. Your parents were dead, and you had no friends. Nobody would have cared if you died. Nobody would shed a tear. Nobody would even recognize you because everyone you knew was dead. Even the kids you met on the boat were probably dead, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. In fact, ost of Shigansia had probably died. You were probably the last survivor, but could you really call it surviving?

“I guess I should have asked why you chose not to jump.”

“I-” you stammered.

He leans back over the ledge. “You don’t have to tell me now. But eventually, you’ll have to know.”

“What’s your name?”

“Jean” he replied. “Jean Kirschtein.”

“I’m Y/N.”

As the days passed, the sky cleared up. Jean had often brought you things you needed to survive. You guys talked about things you liked and wanted to do. You ran around like children do, chasing each other with sticks. He was starting to become a friend, but not just any friend, your best friend. Your only friend. But you had wondered if it would last forever.

“Hey, Jean,” you say, brushing your fingers through his hair, as he lies in your lap.

“Yes?”

“What’s your mom like?”

Jean paused before speaking. He spent most of his days with you, away from his family. He didn’t always get along with them. They would argue and fight all the time. Although, he was the one who did do most of the arguing.

He sighs. “ Let’s just say, she’s an old hag.”

“I’m serious.”

You looked up at the pitch-black sky. What was it like to have a mother? You had forgotten about yours. You couldn’t remember how she looked or what her laugh sounded like. You hadn’t even remembered what she did for a living. What kind of mother was she? Did she nag a lot? Was she home often? Did you guys fight a lot? You couldn’t remember, and every time you tried, you would get a sharp pain in your temple.

“Jean, I don’t remember her” you admitted.

“Who,” he snored.

You had been so in your head that you hadn’t even realized your friend had fallen asleep. You stared at him, your eyes analyzing all the little details in his face. The moonlight highlighted his cheekbones. His hair fell messily over his eyebrows. He looked so peaceful. He was always so tense, and angry. There was really no way to describe it.

“My mom. I don’t remember her. I don’t remember her face. I don’t remember her laugh. Her smile. The color of her eyes. The sound of her voice. I forgot everything.”

The tears began spilling out of your eyes again. It pained you, trying to remember them when you couldn’t. All you could remember was the sight of blood and the smell of rotten flesh. That was hard to forget. Death was hard to forget. The blue sky was slowly devoured by gray clouds, followed by rain engulfing your tears.

You shook Jean. “Wake up. It’s raining.”

Jean brushed you off, cursing under his breath. You sighed, lifting the boy’s head off of your lap. You lifted jean, wrapping his arm around your neck. You wobbled, trying to gain a better footing. You make your way down the stairs, holding onto the wall and rusted railing for support. The weight of your feet on the steps made a creak with each step.

When you reached the bottom step, you ran head first into an older man about a foot taller than you. You had fallen into your ass, your friend still sound asleep next to you. Next to the tall, droopy-eyed man stood a pretty girl that looked much younger than him. She had been surrounded by a kind aura, bright enough to outshine the sun.

“Watch where you’re going,” the old man scoffed.

The girl hit his shoulder. She smiled and turned to you. She held out her hand, waiting for you to take it. You looked up at her in awe. She was warm. You took her hand and stood up. She looked at you with kind eyes and looked at Jean.

“Hey, wait, I recognize the little shit” the old man said.

“Y-you do,” you asked.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, if that’s true, why don’t you carry him for this young cutie, Oluo?”

Oluo rolled his eyes and proceeded to lift the boy. Oluo had better things to do, but one tiny detour wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. At least, the young woman said.

“Wait, where are you taking him?”

“Home,” Oluo spat.

“Oluo, you don’t have to sound so rude you know?”

“Yeah yeah.”

“I don’t think we introduced ourselves,” the young girl said, “My name’s Petra, and this is my squad mate Oluo. We’re scouts.”

“Scout? So does that mean you’ve seen Titans too?”

Everything got quiet. You looked down at your shadow. Your feet following the shadows of the others.

“I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine. Yes, we’ve seen them. We’ve killed them as a matter of fact.”

You lifted your head back up in curiosity. Could humans really rise above and kill the monsters that lurked just beyond the wall? Could we really somehow eradicate all of them?

“Y/n, stop tickling me,” Jean mumbled.

Your soft giggle brought a smile upon Petra and Oluo’s face. Oluo scowled as soon as Petra pointed it out. Their laugh, their smile, the way they interacted with each other reminded you of your parents. Of course these two had been younger.

“Kid,” Oluo sighed, “Do you wanna be a scout?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because, you’ve got the look of someone that’s been through some deep shit. And we need more people.”

You’d never even thought of being in the military. All you ever had thought of was being a doctor. You wanted to be someone that could save and heal people. You wanted to be like Dr. Jaeger. You had admired him for a while.

-flashback-

“Doctor Jaeger!!!”

Grisha Jaeger looked up to see a man holding a young child in his arms. His eyes were red and his voice sounded shaky. The doctor stood up and rushed to the door, opening it to see a sickly child. They were shivering, sweat soaked the poor things clothing. Their silent wails startled the man.

“Come in, put her on the table,” he commanded.

Your father placed you on the mattress. It had a metal frame that had started rusting. The clinic smelled like death. There were men with new bandages on their heads. They had just come back from a mission outside the walls. Needless to say, many of them weren’t going to make it. However, Dr. Jaeger still took care of them. They were alone. Their families had long since passed on, and all of their friends were dead.

“Mr. y/f/l/n, I’ll need you to step out, I don’t need you to get sick too. You were lucky, this was my last bed,” the doctor walked to your bed, a tray of needles and other materials in his hand, “I’m gonna do my best to make sure you get all better, okay?”

You nodded, then looked at your father. He kissed your forehead, and said goodbye. His tears dropped off of his chin onto your forehead. You wished he could stay with you, hold your hand, and wipe your tears. Alas, you knew that could not happen.

“Okay, kiddo, show me where it hurts.”

You pointed to your head and ears. You had been hurting for several days, but in fear of causing your parents to close down the bakery, you held it inside. You held in the pain until you collapsed.

“Have you felt cold?”

You nodded.

“Okay. I need you to keep this on your forehead, while I look inside your ears.”

-four hours later-

“Hey, kid,” a man whispered, “How old are you?”

“I’m 8.”

The man looked down at a picture he was holding. The picture was falling apart. It had singed corners and it looked as though it was ripped in half.

“I have a son your age.”

“What’s his name?”

“His name is Marco. He’s got the biggest hazel colored eyes. He’s got kisses from the sun all over his face. That boy is the sweetest...brightest...and most warm smile I’ve ever seen.”

The man had been brought back from behind the walls. His legs had been crushed from being grabbed by a Titan. The damage was permanent, and the internal bleeding from the incident would eventually kill him.

“Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up?”

You had never really thought about it yet. You’d assumed you’d stay in your parents bakery forever. It was the only thing you’d ever known.

“No.” You looked down at your hands.

“Well, promise me, you won’t join the military,” he turned to you,” The only thing you’ll ever experience is death. Finish school, get married, and raise a family. Live.”

You didn’t respond. You could not understand what the man had been trying to say. I mean how could you? You’re only 8 years old. A future like that wasn’t really on your mind. Death wasn’t on your mind, it was the last thing on your mind.

“Okay y/n l/n, it’s time for another dose.”

-one day later-

The sound of raindrops violently beating on the window greeted you from your rest. It was the first time in a while that you had gotten a full night's sleep. You rubbed your eyes until the crust had fallen off. You turned to the bed of the man you had talked to. Dr. Jaeger was standing over it. His hands were intertwined with each other. The dead flowers in the vase on the sill had been replaced with new ones.

That’s when you knew. That’s when you knew you wanted to be a doctor.

-flash back is now over because I suck at transitioning-

“Look, you don’t have to be one now. But you should think about it when you’re of age,” he said.

Oluo stopped in front of a two story house. It looked well kept and had a sign on it that read Kierstein.

“Looks like we’re here.”

Oluo put Jean on the floor. He had been sleeping like a baby, you almost didn’t want to wake him up. He looked peaceful, until a snot bubble appeared. The sound of it popping jolted Jean awake.

“NO MOM DON’T LOOK AT MY SKETCHBOOK,” he yelled.

You had let out an obnoxious snort. Jean furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head. He wrapped his arms across his chest, huffing and puffing like a baby.

Oluo and Petra eventually had to leave. You watched them walk away, leaving you and Jean alone on the doorsteps. The laughter subsided.

“You know, making fun of people is rude,” Jean scolded, “Where are we anyways?”

“Jeanie, my sweetheart.”

A voluptuous woman with kind, green eyes, burts out the door, wrapping the boy in her arms.

“Where have you been, my boy?!!!”

That must be- wait, I recognize her. But where? Where do I know this woman from?

“Mom, please stop. You’re embarrassing me.”

Jean’s mom put him down with a pouty face. She’d only missed her son everyday. She didn’t know where he was going, or what he was doing.

“I’m sorry, I was just worried-,” she turned, spotting your figure in the corner of her eye, “Jean, you didn’t tell me you had yourself a little cutie.”

Jean turned to hide his tomato red face. “They’re just my friend.”

“I didn’t think you had any friends, but I’m glad you found one.”

“M-mom,” you stumbled back.

That’s when it hit you. The day of the attack, a woman had visited your mom's bakery before it happened. It hadn’t crossed your mind, you thought she’d have died. It didn’t make sense to you, but when does fate ever make sense?

“Oh, you poor thing, you’re that child of y/m/f/n, from Shiganshina. Why don’t you come inside with us?”

Synopsis: You didn’t realize how in love you were with Jean Kirschtein until he decided to join the Survey Corp.

Taglist: n/a

Chapter 2

Masterlist

Chapter 4

playlist

#aot angst #aot x reader #aot jean #aot fanfiction #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #snk anime #snk jean #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein #jean fanfic #snk fanfiction

25 notes · View notes

wexhappyxfew · 4 years

Note

hello!! happy trivia thursday, and happy landslide eve 🙇‍♀️✨💗 (who knows if this’ll be my only q tehe)

what’s been the most interesting/your most favorite thing you’ve learned about the polish resistance, polish history, or anything new while doing the research for landslide? and what’s something you wish more people knew about poland/the resistance during ww2? (if you have one!)

CATHERINE!!! AHHH HI QUEEN!! happy trivia thursday my friend and AHHH YES!!! happy landslide eve!! (and omg don’t worry i’ll be here to answer how ever many u send <3) and I PROMISE IM GETTING BACK TO YOUR MESSAGE TONIGHT!!! LOL!!

and omg this question!! there’s so so many different things that i’ve learned within my time for research done prior to landslide i don’t even know where to start, but there’s one thing that has stuck in my mind ever since researching it that i found absolutely fascinating and was highly inspiring when writing!!

During the Second World War, the Polish Resistance was the largest underground resistance movement in ALL of Occupied-Europe. And MAN YOU SHOULDVE SEEN MY FACE. When I first read that I was so surprised and immediately fascinating! I knew I had to take that somewhere. The most fascinating aspect of what they did during their time, was that they were most notable for saving more Jewish lives in the Holocaust than any other Western-Allied organization or government. Those two simple facts drew me in and immediately made me entirely fascinated with each aspect of the Polish side of the war and ready to write a story for them. I could go on, but that would require essays at this point LOL

Something I wish people knew more about Poland and their Resistance and what happened to them when they were initially invaded on September 1st, 1939 was something I heavily include in Landslide. Natia’s parents are Cultural Elites - the main topic I really want to discuss and I feel more people should know more about it.

I’m going to put a cut here for this LOL it’s my summary of notes from one of my docs for the cultural elites :)

CULTURAL ELITES - Poland WW2: known as the Polish Intelligentsia, Nazis began exterminating them by way of the military operations of the Special Prosecution Book-Poland, the German AB-Aktoin in Poland and the Intelligenzaktion, and the Intelligenzaktion Pommern. The Soviet union executed the Katyn massacre of 1940 during which university professors, physicians, lawyers, engineers, teachers, writers and journalists were murdered - it was to eliminate any possible resistance leader - because these were the most likely to form resistance groups and to stop the spread of culture (the culture of the Polish).

Special Prosecution Book-Poland: German (Sonderfahndungsbuch Polem) was the proscription list prepared by the Germans immediately before the onset of war (2 years), that identified more than 61,000 members of the polish elites: activists, intelligentsia, scholars, actors, former officers, and prominent others, who were to be interned or shot on the spot upon their identifications following the invasion. This was being secretly prepared nearly 2 years before the invasion compiled by the Zentralstelle IIP Polen or the Central Unit IIP-Poland unit of the Gestapo with help from some members of the German minority living in pre-war Poland. This unit was created by Reinhard Heydrich in order to coordinate the ethnic cleansing of all Poles in Operation Tannenberg.

German AB-Aktion in Poland: was a second stage of the Nazi German campaign of violence during WW2 to eliminate the intellectuals and the upper classes of the Second Polish Republic across the territories slated for eventual annexation. Most common was ‘forced disappearance’ but many were sent to concentration camps if not killed.

Intelligenzaktion: or Intellgenstia mass shootings, was a, not always, secret mass murder conducted by Nazi Germany against the Polish Intelligentsia (teachers, priests, physicians, et al) The Operations were conducted to realize the Germanization of the western regions of occupied Poland before territorial annexation of the German Reich. September 9th, 1939 - 6 bodies were left out after a mass killing for 6 hours to terrorize the citizens. Operation Tannenberg was the anti-Polish extinction memento.

Intelligenzaktion Pommern: was a Nazi German operation aimed at the eradication of the Polish Intelligentsia in Pomeranion Voviodeship and the surrounding areas at the beginning of WW2. Part of the larger genocidal Intelligenzaktion. It was pruposed to install Nazi officals from Sipo, Kripo, Gestapo and SD at the helm of a new administration machine. (my parents are in their final resting place with a hundred others in the middle of nowhere - that is no way to end a good life like their own) It was on the direct orders of Adolf Hitler, then carried out by Reinhard Heydrich bureau of Referat Tannenberg along with Heinrich Himmler’s SS-RSHA (Main Security Office).

Intelligentsia: is a status class of educated people engaged in the complex mental labors that critique, guide and lead in shaping culture and poltics of their society. As a statues class, the intelligentsia includes artists, teachers and academics, writers and the literary hommes de lettres. Individual members of the intelligentsia are known as intellectuals. This status of class arose int he late 18th century in Russian-controlled Poland during the age of the Partitions (1772-95).

In the 19th century, the Polish Intellectual Bronislaw Trentowski coined the term intelligentcja (intellectuals) to identify and describe the educated and professionally active social stratum of the patriotic bourgeoisie who could be the cultural leaders of Poland, then under the authoritarian regime of Russian Tsarist autocracy, from the late 18th century to the early 20th century. This was part of the reason Nazis did what they did to exterminate the culture and spread of the Polish culture. In Russia before the Bolshevik Revolution (1917) the term intelligentsia described the status of class of educated people whose cultural capital (schooling, education, enlightenment - this is why Natia says she WAS happy, but now isnt - it was taken from her) allowed them to assume practical political leadership. In practice, the statues and social function of the intelligentsia varied by society.

I hope this was a good enough answer for you!! The second I saw that second part I got so excited to share these notes with you!! But just to clarify - Natia’s parents are both Cultural Elites and because of the events above were eventually killed for these reasons (something I enjoyed intertwining with history and fiction) and Natia will mention quite a few times. I LOVED THESE QUESTIONS THANK YOU CATH!! <3

#band of brothers #bob fic #landslide #research #poland #polish resistance #cultural elites #research process #history

3 notes · View notes

soveryanon · 5 years

Text

Reviewing time for MAG157! ;___;

- … I’d been making fun of the fact that The Corruption was the unloved Fear of season 4, since we hadn’t had any statement since MAG103… and consecutively, we got a small talk about Jane Prentiss at the end of MAG152, a Corruption statement in MAG153, and now… another one, which dealt with an identified avatar, and was, I felt, the most gruesome Corruption one we ever had. Somethingsomething about how season 4 is the “be careful what you wish for” season, uh. (Well. You never wish for a Corruption statement, you mostly note that there hasn’t been one for a while.)

Jon was suspecting that Jane Prentiss’s attack on the Institute had been a ritual attempt:

(MAG152) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … It’s all that left of her now. Apart from a… jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise… unremarkable wall. HELEN: More of a legacy than some people get. ARCHIVIST: … It was meant to be a gate, I think. A hole that she… rotted into The Corruption itself. Maybe the start of a ritual. HELEN: Hm. Not exactly impressive, is it? ARCHIVIST: Less complex, certainly. But I think that’s the thing about– … what did Elias call it… “Filth”. I don’t think it really plans much. It just starts to grow wherever it can get a foothold and… if no one stomps it out in time: Game Over. […] I’ve been wondering what they were doing down here.

And it’s a bit terrifying to think that technically, Jane Prentiss was quite… low scale, in the harm she did during the attack on the Institute, compared to what we saw in “Love Bombing” (a whole cult minus one getting eradicated) and Amherst’s actions (contaminating the entirety of Ivy Meadows, and it probably could have spread through Nicole Baxter if she hadn’t lost/cut her hand, and eradicating the entire population of Klanxbüll):

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I knew at that moment that there was nothing that could be done to save the town. […] I found the source of this sickness in the Parkplatz opposite the train station. The cars had been pushed to the side, clearly at great cost to the bodies of those that pushed them. And in the centre was a figure from whom the rot clearly flowed. He was sat upon a most dreadful throne, formed from a dozen, two dozen bodies mixed together like putty, eyes staring out like horror-stricken stars twinkling in the night – and their hearts beating for all to see. A moaning came from that awful seat, voices trying to scream through things that weren’t their throat – and it is a sound I shall be glad to leave behind me when I go to my rest.”

What kind of music was Amherst hearing in his dreams, to go for mass-damage like this every few years? Ivy Meadows happened during summer 2011 or 2012 (dates were a bit inconsistent in MAG036 itself, Elias said in June 2017 that it had been “five years” since the death of Melanie’s father), Amherst’s actions in Klanxbüll happened in 2013, that’s… such a short span to cause so much damage… ;; Really hoping that this concrete lasts forever ;;

- Chronology time, regarding Adelard’s actions since we began hearing about him in season 2:

* 06/02/1991 or 06/07/1991: Adelard had left a statement about the “NotThem”, calling it as such. Although it was referenced in MAG077, Jon explained in MAG078 that he had found another statement in the file:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607. […] Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

(MAG078) ARCHIVIST: I found this in the folder marked 9910602, where Gertrude’s tape had indicated I would find the statement of Dekker himself. There is nothing else in there, but I think it tells me what I need to know. This thing, this… “Not Sasha”… it’s tied to the table.

(… With an inconsistency regarding the month. Either Gertrude messed up (unlikely.), either Jonny messed up, either Jon messed up in his panic and fortunately still found a Not!Them-related statement despite going for the wrong file with the wrong month.)

* Sometime between 1991 and 1996 (since Eric knew Elias but didn’t know he had become Head before his own quitting&getting murdered): Adelard was identifiable as Gertrude’s collaborator and, amongst other things, threw a “screaming box” in the Thames:

(MAG154) ERIC: She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood-sucking things, or told me I was “imagining it” when I saw your friend Adelard drop a screaming box into the Thames.

* 04/11/1996: Gertrude recorded Lucy Cooper’s statement (given in September 1994) about the Not!Them taking her mother’s place. In her Final Comments, she mentioned a statement previously left by Adelard:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607. If the pattern of behaviour is consistent with what he establishes, then further follow-up on this case is pointless: the thing has finished with the Cooper family and will not be revisiting them. It rarely seems to stay in the same place or with the same people for long, though it’s hard to guess at its motives. Personally, I suspect it to be an aspect of The Stranger, though that’s entirely conjecture at this point. […] It is at least reassuring to know that magnetic tape seems to escape being overwritten, so if I get changed, you can be sure this is my real voice. Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

* Shortly before 12/06/2001: Lawrence Moore’s statement described Adelard Dekker, binding the Not!Them to the Web table which had previously been in Raymond Fielding’s ownership at Hill Top Road until the 70s. We don’t know how Adelard acquired the table, nor what happened to explain that he left without it and that Breekon&Hope were the ones to retrieve it afterwards:

(MAG078, Lawrence Moore) “He was black, dressed in a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a thin necktie. For a moment I had the idea he might be a Jehovah’s Witness, but one look at his face dispelled that idea immediately. It was hard and stern, set in look of determination, and his short hair was iron grey. He was very thin, with aging skin stretched tight over wiry, corded muscle, and though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me. He asked if I knew the man who had left my house earlier that evening. […] At this, the old man’s eyes lit up with excitement, and I took an involuntary step back. If he noticed, he didn’t show it, walking past me into the house and ordering me to get any photos that hadn’t changed. […] He told me his name was Adelard Dekker, and that he was an exorcist, of sorts. […] Adelard Dekker stood in the corner. He was straight and motionless, his lips moving rapidly, though no sound came out of them. In the centre of the room, next to the empty box, stood a table carved from dark wood and wrapped all over with a sprawling, intricate pattern. And in front of that table was the thing that had said it was my cousin. It was long and thin, the tops of it bent against the ceiling and its stick-like limbs flailed from too many joints and elbows. Wrapped around it were thick strands of what I think was spider’s web, stretching back into the table, which I now saw pulsed along its carved channels with a sickly light. The face at the top of that gangly frame was like nothing on earth. […] I didn’t return to my house until the next morning. Dekker’s blue van was gone, and in its place was another one, dirty white. There was something printed on the side, but I couldn’t make it out under the grime. I watched two men in overalls carry that same box out of my house, load it up, and drive away. That was about two months ago, and it was the last time I saw them, the table, Adelard Dekker or the thing that wasn’t my cousin.”

(MAG079) NOT!SASHA: Once upon a time there was a monster, but no one realised. Sometimes someone did and then they were scared, so that was good. But one day a nasty man came along. A nasty man who tricked the monster and wrapped it all in webs and tied it to a table. So the monster got its friends to carry the table all around, and it still got to take faces and scare people.

* 22/01/2006: Adelard sent a letter to Gertrude regarding Garland Hillier’s disappearance in 1867 (the year of Robert Smirke’s death…) and describing Bernadette Delcour’s discovery of his old sealed flat, leading to an encounter with the Inheritors from The Extinction.

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Sorry I can’t be there in person to go over all this with you. I still have a few things to clear off over here, but I thought it would be best to let you know as soon as possible. I am now certain my theory is correct: there is something new emerging. A fifteenth Power. […] Now I know what you’re going to say, Gertrude: odd doors are signs of The Spiral, empty worlds tend towards The Lonely, and eschatology is almost literally the study of The End. But this is different. I feel it. This Fear is new. This is a fear of extinction. Of change. It used to be part of The End, perhaps, when The End of humanity was to be the end of all things; but now, the fear is not of a rapture or a revelation; it is of catastrophic change. A change in our world that will wipe out what it means to be “us”, and leave something else in its place. […] These are new fears, Gertrude, and a new Power is rising to consume them. The Extinction. The Terrible Change. The-Future-Without-Us. […] I know you don’t credit my theories, and I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say on this one, but I’m going to need your help with this at some point – I’m sure of it. I don’t know how you can stop the birth of something that has no life, or mind, or… substance, but if anyone can figure it out, it’s you. I’ve never met anyone so gifted at understanding that… strange, dream logic of the Fears, and if what I suspect about this new Power is true, it could be catastrophic. Until then, I’ll keep searching for evidence, trying to find… instances and manifestations of The Extinction. I’ll keep you updated.”

* October 2008: Dekker had helped Gertrude stop The Flesh’s ritual – suggesting she use explosives? Providing them? Helping her set them up in the gnostic church?

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: When I heard there’d been survivors of “The Last Feast”, I was rather concerned that one of them might be able to positively identify me, [CHUCKLE] which could land me in all sorts of trouble! But she doesn’t seem to remember me at all. […] Dekker really came through with the explosives! It almost felt like cheating. Sad about the loss of history but Miss Wright didn’t seem to think the old Gnostic church got many visitors anyway. […] At least we know for sure that these “grand rituals” can be disrupted by conventional means, though a more… nuanced approach will be needed for some of them, I’m sure. Also… I can’t rely on having this much lead time.

* 04/01/2009: Adelard sent a letter to Gertrude describing an unnamed man’s experience in the Bright Lake amusement park in Colorado, with something Adelard identified as an Extinction occurrence.

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input. Good job on that, by the way […]. So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. My first assumption would have been The Flesh, based on the cannibalism and strangeness of the bodies involved, but… something about this idea of some sort of “famine world”, its location within a made-man ruin, the whole… societal aspect of it… I’d be inclined to chalk this up as a genuine Extinction manifestation. But I don’t know. Am I drawing wild conclusions, trying to fit the account into my own preconceptions? Keen to know your feelings on the matter.”

(* 03/10/2009: Gary Boylan gave his statement to the Institute, about the destruction of his village following a signal he had deciphered. No mention of Adelard Dekker in the notes.)

* Undated letter, likely circa 2012: Adelard sent a statement to Gertrude about an avatar of The End encountered when he was tracking The Extinction (without naming it), through a string of people dying by carbon monoxide poisoning in their sleep. Adelard also mentioned that Gertrude had asked him to move out some plastic explosives (he hadn’t been her provider, Gertrude had got them elsewhere).

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I was pursuing my researches into the new emergence I mentioned earlier. I know you are dismissive of the possibility, but if I’m right, the sudden urgency of these “immediate dangers” you are so focused on could very well be a direct result. But that’s for another day, as this particular instance turned out to be unconnected. The point is, I was alerted to a series of deaths by a coroner friend of mine. […] I don’t know if my little “theoretical” is strong enough yet to start taking avatars, but this one, as you’ve no doubt guessed, turned out to be Terminus.”

* 13/05/2013: Judith O’Neill gave her statement about (mostly) unmoving creatures made of garbage, killing a researcher. Judith had been explicitly sent by Adelard:

(MAG149) MARTIN: There’s… hum, a, a note here as well. [PAPER RUSTLING] Looks like Gertrude’s handwriting? Start of a letter to… Dekker, thanking him for sending Judith to her, though… it doesn’t look like it was ever finished or sent. [PAPER RUSTLING] I assume this is another one he was trying to use to prove The Extinction? It… certainly has something in it. Mankind’s trash giving rise to something terrible. And again, fear of the other, inanimate humanoid figures. That’s all very… Stranger, isn’t it?

* Before August 2013: Adelard had apparently been the one to suggest explosives to disrupt The Unknowing. Gertrude made the following comment on 09/10/2014:

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: Another one to cross off the list. Doesn’t help with The Unknowing, though. [HEAVY SIGH] We still have Dekker’s back-up plan, of course, but… it’s very risky. To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on.

* 14/08/2013: Adelard Dekker sent an email to Gertrude regarding his suspicion about an Extinction activity in the town of Klanxbüll, which turned out to be the work of John Amherst, from The Corruption. Adelard was poisoned during the fight, and told Gertrude what had happened and how he was choosing to die, ultimately expressing doubts about the reality or the shape of The Extinction:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. My hands are shaking quite badly and my fingers… aren’t what they were. […] But I shall not wait for it to putrefy as the rot overtakes me. I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol. I will sit upon that seat, and release these poor souls from their suffering. [INHALE] And hopefully make things simpler, for the ECDC clean-up crews. But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore; or perhaps the birth of such things is longer and more complicated than I believed. For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me.”

So… although he sounds absolutely dead-dead, I don’t think this is the last we’re hearing from Adelard. I guess it could be possible that he had just left the Web table binding the Not!Them behind him around 2001 (though quite uncharacteristic), but we’re still missing his statement from 1991, and given that Jon had acknowledged that he hadn’t found Dekker’s own statement, I think it’s safe to assume that we could be hearing about it later (in season 5? Or in MAG160, as a “closure” to Dekker’s own story and investigations, since he was quite important through season 4?), in a written statement or through a recording with Gertrude.

- I’m a bit interrogative about the way Adelard mentioned his investigations regarding The Extinction:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore; or perhaps the birth of such things is longer and more complicated than I believed. ”

Because the earliest he tried to summarise and essentialise what he felt was the New Power, labelling it “The Extinction”, was in 2006 (MAG134), so only seven years before his death. Was he exaggerating when he said “decades”? Or will we learn more about his genesis, as an addendum, and it was truly a long-time conviction / a dissatisfaction with Smirke’s categorisation? I had already noticed that it was strange (ha) that, although the Not!Them presented itself as a creature from The Stranger (or at least allied to it), the earliest things we know about Adelard was that he was after it… when his description of The Extinction feels very close to some of the Not!Them’s effects (although in lower scales, for the latter); so maybe he had trouble categorising the Not!Them, back then, hence his conviction that a New Power might have been emerging…? Adelard also used some of the names inherited from Smirke’s work:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “There was… an inevitability to his movements, and I think that is when I realised he was simply serving The End, which I won’t pretend wasn’t a disappointment.”

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Now I know what you’re going to say, Gertrude: odd doors are signs of The Spiral, empty worlds tend towards The Lonely, and eschatology is almost literally the study of The End. But this is different. I feel it.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. My first assumption would have been The Flesh, based on the cannibalism and strangeness of the bodies involved, but…”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I’ve spoken before about how keenly I have watched news of possible pandemics, which is where I suspect The Extinction may pull away from The Corruption during its emergence. […] So, it seemed it was not The Extinction as I had anticipated but simply a new and awful strain of Corruption.”

But he was also occasionally labelling them in unique ways:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I don’t know if my little “theoretical” is strong enough yet to start taking avatars, but this one, as you’ve no doubt guessed, turned out to be Terminus.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I have spoken to you before of Christabel, my… contact within the ECDC. She had a run-in with the Crawling Rot some decades ago, and has since then kept me up to date with any incidents they have encountered which display “unusual” properties.”

(Though that last one was also used by Arthur Nolan in MAG145: “Found a mass of the Crawling Rot growing, a while back. Managed to get a hold of the property before it became too big. Gotta wait ‘til it blossoms before we can properly burn it.”)

It is curious that, of all people, we didn’t get Adelard’s story of his first few years, how he came in contact with the Powers, with Gertrude, why/how he came to tracking down avatars, so I think there is a good chance we could get a statement about it, indeed. After all, we keep hearing stories of/from people who have been dead for a while; what I’m curious is when/how it could be done in a way that would “add” something else to the current storyline, if we’re done with The Extinction after the season 4 finale…? (Unless we aren’t.) Or it could be about categorising, or the concept of “Faith” against the Fears, I guess.

- There is something heart-breaking putting together his ways of addressing Gertrude in his messages:

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; Sorry I can’t be there in person to go over all this with you. I still have a few things to clear off over here, but I thought it would be best to let you know as soon as possible. […] I’ll keep you updated. Stay safe. Adelard.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; I wanted your opinion on an encounter I’ve had described to me recently, and given your recent dealing with Viscera, I would very much value your input. Good job on that, by the way; I’m sure the gnostic temple was a great loss culturally speaking, but I can’t help but admire your directness when it comes to dealing with this sort of thing. […] So: what are your thoughts? I’m keen to hear your own interpretation of this account. […] Keen to know your feelings on the matter. […] Oh – one more thing: if you do try to follow up with my source – and I know you have your own ways of finding him should you wish – please be careful. He told me, near the end, that he had recently been worried he was being followed. He keeps catching glimpses of a thin figure in the distance, or disappearing around a corner, and I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return. If my suspicions are correct, there’s little either of us could do for him; but do take care, should you make contact.”

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Gertrude; It should all be here, though god knows I was tempted to take a block for myself just in case. […] Anyway, you owe me a favour. And… maybe another one once you read this. It might come to nothing, but it’s something you should probably be aware of. […] I’m sure you can take care of yourself, of course, but I thought it would be worth letting you know. Good luck, Gertrude. And enjoy the fireworks.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. […] This is the last time you will hear from me. You must trust me on that and not come looking. Not that you would; I know you’re too smart for sentimentality, especially after what I have to tell you, but I feel it worth saying nonetheless. […] I’ve wondered, Gertrude, whether you are truly as fearless as you seem; or if you are simply a master of disguising your terror…! I suppose I’ll never have a chance to find out. I rather hope it was the former. However much I disagree with some of your methods, it feels good to believe there are people in this world who can stare down the devil without flinching. […] But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so… […] I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you. Goodbye, Gertrude. May you find your rest where no shadows are cast… and no eyes may see you slumber.”

Politely beginning all his letters with “Gertrude”, except for the last one, which began with apologies. Ending each ones with little words of encouragements and concern (“Stay safe”, “do take care”, “good luck”)… up until that “goodbye” in the last one.

Something that MAG157 put into a new perspective, too: in MAG137, Gertrude had mentioned “Adelard’s back-up plan” to thwart The Unknowing. That recording had happened in October 2014; Adelard had been dead for more than a year at this point. When she sighed right before mentioning him, was it only a pragmatic sigh, linked to the fact that she was a bit at a loss to counter The Stranger? Or was it also because she had lost her closest ally, and someone she had been seeing as a friend despite herself, and who wasn’t there anymore…?

(And in the end, Gertrude didn’t have the time to stop The Unknowing and to follow through with Adelard’s plan. Jon, Tim and the others followed in her footsteps and, without knowing, also in Adelard’s, accomplishing the plans of two dead people…)

(- There is still The Mystery Of Gertrude’s Death and thinking again about MAG113 made me realise that, UHOH???

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Anyway, you owe me a favour. And… maybe another one once you read this. It might come to nothing, but it’s something you should probably be aware of. […] I cannot make any guarantees Justin Gough will remain in the state I left him. And it seems that, as he deals in dreams, it may be worth your while to keep an eye on the statements you take, in case he finds his way here. I’m sure you can take care of yourself, of course, but I thought it would be worth letting you know.” […] ARCHIVIST: This was found tucked into a hard case containing… many blocks of plastic explosive, kept by Gertrude Robinson in a storage unit that I can only assume has… extremely lax oversight. It is unclear if she ever read it. […] I know there are more important things to be doing, but I did ask Basira to have a quick search for Justin Gough, see what might have happened to him. There are records of his residence in an East London care facility until 2015, when he disappears from their records. Several deaths among the staff apparently occurred at roughly the same time. And it will come as no surprise that the inquest returned a verdict of carbon monoxide poisoning in each case. I’m not too concerned, to be honest, my dreams are, uh... well, let’s just say I don’t think they're going be letting anyone else in any time soon.

… Adelard had explicitly warned her about an avatar from The End who dealt with dreams, who went loose again in 2015.

… And Jon wasn’t sure that Gertrude had read this message.

… And in March 2015, Oliver, End-touched person, soon to become avatar, had described his own dreams of Gertrude, terrified, being the target of the vines usually announcing people’s death…

We know that Gertrude didn’t die when she should have (she was still alive in April 2015, if she didn’t lie on the date), and Elias confessed to her murder, and she had plain mundane bullets in her body… But it’s actually extreeeemely suspicious that Justin Gough escaped the year she died? Was The End involved in her death a bit more actively than just through Oliver’s visions…? Or was Oliver’s vision the fate awaiting her if Justin had managed to kill her?)

- One Nice Thing (aesthetically) is that I really experienced Adelard’s realisation right along with him? I assumed that the town was under a new Extinction threat, assumed we were on the verge of meeting our first Extinction avatar… and then, as Adelard already introduced the idea that he had been Wrong and began describing the cause of the town’s downfall, I suddenly realised that OH NO, LANKY AND BROWN COAT, IS THAT–

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “No pale spectre in a lab coat, or twisted golem of petri dishes and test tubes. No; he was… lanky, wearing an ill-fitting brown suit and a smile. I’d never previously had the misfortune to meet him, but I knew the description well enough to recognise John Amherst.”

… and it was.

(MAG036, Nicole Baxter) “The door to the reception opened, and a tall man stepped out. He was rail thin and wore a faded brown suit that seemed to have been cut for a much fatter man. His eyes were a watery blue and his dark hair stood on top of his head in an unruly mess. He must have been around forty, but had a nervous sort of energy to him.”

(MAG055) JORDAN: He was tall, maybe 6ft5? But it was hard to be sure of his shape inside the huge, brown suit he was wearing.

(Extra funny thing is that “ill-fitting brown suit” + “a John” also feels really close to how Jon probably looks like from the outside.)

- I’m so sad for Adelard, but also so proud of him in a way?! It’s a really strange feeling because we’ve never heard him live (so far?), but he was still a reassuring figure in some way. I was anticipating that he could have snapped, because I Remember Oliver, but no: although he was giving up pretty fast when it came to saving their potential victims, Adelard was simply someone who would fight what he identified as evil, putting his life on the line when it came to stopping threatening avatars. It’s interesting to compare what we heard of him with Gertrude: Adelard was firm, a bit callous at time, but not keen on sacrificing people to reach his goals, and was personally involving himself in the cases he was investigating… to the cost of his own life, as it happened in MAG157. (So it was not “like Oliver”, it was “like Gerry”. If you like a character, and you feel like they could be helpful/do some good: either they’ve turned into a monster since then, either they’re dead. … Though, now: we… have no Characters Who Are Helping left still alive at the moment – hoping that it could mean that Team Archive will more or less try to go that way but ;; Not very optimistic about it.)

Adelard had expressed that he was afraid of the idea of dying in his sleep:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I’ll even make it a statement. Give your patron something to keep it satisfied. It’s not like I sleep enough to worry about dreams. […] It’s odd, isn’t it? Sleep. That you can never remember or fully pin down the exact moment you lose consciousness. Just lying there, waiting to find yourself in a dream without the first clue or interest in how or when you got there. Or to find your eyes closed and force them open to sunlight and morning, only realising that sleep has happened in retrospect. I wonder if… death is the same way? No clear dividing line, just… gone, only to realise after it’s happened, except for the fact that there isn’t an after. Is that a comforting thought or a terrifying one? Depends on who you are, I suppose. It bothered me when I was young. If I thought too hard about the concept of sleep, of exactly what it was, I would worry myself, and end up having to turn the light on, and read for an hour or two. Everyone always talks about how they want to die in their sleep, but honestly, I think that’s the death that scares me the most.”

So ;; Best outcome you can hope for really is dying on your own terms, uh. We got it with Tim, and Adelard got to face his own death awake, in a situation he chose to put himself in, also turning it in one last “good” action (putting an end to the suffering of the villagers who… indeed couldn’t be saved at this point):

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “This is the last time you will hear from me. […] Perhaps I’m simply prevaricating, trying to cling on to a few more precious minutes of life – but that’s not me. I know what awaits me, and must have no hesitation in going to my reward. [SCOFF] I know you’ve never had much patience for my faith, but perhaps it will provide you some small peace knowing I face my death gladly, knowing I have done my duty before God. […] For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me. I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you.”

“Faith” was present in more than one aspect in his last message: as his religion, which had driven him (and in hindsight, I realised that there had been a few words from that lexical field in his past statements) and in which he found comfort in his last moments; as his belief in Gertrude and their “work” together. And, in parallel, there was also a loss of faith, as he was hypothesising that he may have been wrong all along about The Extinction as a Fifteenth Power:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “so… perhaps you were right about The Extinction. I’ve been hunting it for decades now, and… while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own.”

So, it was a bittersweet ending, but one that didn’t feel utterly crushing either. On the one hand, it’s still a death; it’s upsetting that Adelard died while neutralising a dangerous menace who had caused harm to many people, it’s sad that his death was caused from a Corruption avatar while Adelard had been running after The Extinction all this time – he did something brave and amazing in his last actions, but it would have had more meaning, for him, if it had been against The Extinction… and precisely, John Amherst was a tipping point making Adelard lose faith in his theory. But it’s still honourable, and fits Adelard well, as someone who made that world a bit less dark, who was keeping in mind circumstantial victims without always getting lost in the Big Plans and the Big Picture like Gertrude:

(MAG078, Lawrence Moore) “Then he instructed me to go to my bedroom, and not to leave until he told me it was safe. I did protest at that, and I asked him how my locking myself upstairs would help save Carl. There was no sympathy in his voice when he told me my cousin was dead, that nothing would bring him back, and that my best chance to not join him was to stay in the bedroom until everything was over. He did not seem inclined to tell me what he meant by “everything”.”

(MAG134, Adelard Dekker) “I may try to interview her again later, though I have my suspicions she may find herself disappearing. She has that… quality about her, I’m sure you know what I mean, o–of an unfinished meal. And I can only hope that when the second course starts, she can remember her way back to Garland Hillier’s apartment once more.”

(MAG156, Adelard Dekker) “… Anyway, I was following up on a young man who had apparently had a nasty experience whilst exploring the ruins of the Bright Lake amusement park in Colorado. You will forgive me if I withhold his name, as I have all the verification I need to be convinced he’s telling the truth, and I find it hard to believe any follow-up you’d be interested in doing would be beneficial for him. He’s earned his anonymity. […] He keeps catching glimpses of a thin figure in the distance, or disappearing around a corner, and I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return. If my suspicions are correct, there’s little either of us could do for him […].”

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “I think that is when I realised he was simply serving The End, which I won’t pretend wasn’t a disappointment. But still, I thought if I could deal with him and save a few lives, I might as well. […] I was not quick enough to save the man who lived in that house. Truth be told, I didn’t especially try. I didn’t think I would be able to move quick enough to do so, and was more concerned with being quiet and thorough. […] I knew it wouldn’t kill him, he’s too far from human for me to do so, but I thought that scrambling his brain a bit was probably my best bet. And I was right, as far as it goes. He survived what I did to him, and when the police picked him up after an ‘anonymous tip’ about a break-in, he was barely able to speak, and I very much hope I managed to sever his dreams.”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I knew at that moment that there was nothing that could be done to save the town. But I could perhaps identify the cause – and identify it I did. […] So, it seemed it was not The Extinction as I had anticipated but simply a new and awful strain of Corruption. Still. It was not something I felt I could leave to run its course unopposed. […] I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol. I will sit upon that seat, and release these poor souls from their suffering. [INHALE] And hopefully make things simpler, for the ECDC clean-up crews.”

And it’s so soft that his last words were for Gertrude, not berating her, but almost… comforting her?

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “For all that though, I cannot regret the time I have spent seeking it. I have done my duty; and none may ask more of me. I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you. Goodbye, Gertrude. May you find your rest where no shadows are cast… and no eyes may see you slumber.”

(Wishing her the best, uh. I can read the mention of “shadows” as innocuous, but I also wonder if it might not be a direct reference to something of Gertrude’s personal history with The Dark?)

(- I also mean: gdi, what is it with season 4 and the way it’s offering me New Ships For Gertrude. We got Gertrude/Agnes, a bit of Web/Gertrude, I was wondering if she didn’t used to have some Feelings for Eric, now I’m REALLY digging Gertrude/Adelard, gdi.)

- Adelard died in August 2013, Gerry in late 2014. Gertrude had previously lost Michael sometime after late 2009 (MAG126 mentioned the upcoming “Great Twisting”), although in his case, she had minutely planned his sacrifice. I’m not sure Leitner was a good judge of character (was Leitner good at… anything.), but he had gotten the feeling that she was getting lonely:

(MAG080) LEITNER: I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion. ARCHIVIST: I… I didn’t know Gertrude had assistants. LEITNER: Of course. Three of them, each meeting an unpleasant end.

(During her last year, Leitner was apparently her last “ally”. That’s telling how low she was, and how bad the situation was, I guess.)

Those were rough years for Gertrude, uh? I wonder how much Adelard’s death impacted her – if she took it in stride, or if it almost made her crumble; they had been allied for at least twenty years, at this point, and it really sounded like she trusted him; there was a very specific enthusiasm when she mentioned the explosives stopping The Last Feast in MAG130?

… on the less bright side, I wonder if Adelard’s death was what pushed her to try and seek out Gerry? She had promised to find him in August 2008:

(MAG154) ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

But we know she didn’t do it right away:

(MAG111) GERRY: In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. […] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died.

Gerry mentioned that they had worked together for “a few years”, but Mary Keay ~died~ in 2008 according to MAG004 and haunted Gerry for “five years” according to him in MAG111, so that would put Gertrude finding him around 2013 – so, they worked together for a bit less than two years, before Gerry died. It could be that Adelard’s death was the reason why Gertrude finally decided to honour the promise she had made to Eric, and if so, yikes. Still utilitarian until the end, uh.

(Though: did Gerry remind her of Adelard, at least a bit, in the way he was waving his way through the Fears and neutralising supernatural occurrences and/or begrudgingly helping people to get out…?)

(- Adelard wondering about whether or not Gertrude felt fear reminded me of Arthur’s comment about it:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: [SCOFF] Yeah. … But you don’t actually care about Them, do you? […] All your energy is focused down here, on monsters and… murderers, and all the things doing the dirty work for Them Beyond. You know plenty, sure! But you don’t have that obsession, that stupid urge to try and understand and… classify things that use logic and reality like weapons. GERTRUDE: Hm. Per–perhaps. ARTHUR: [CHUCKLE] Always respected you for that. Takes a strong stomach to not give a shit. GERTRUDE: Eh! You’ll forgive me if I’m not overjoyed at the compliment?

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I’ve wondered, Gertrude, whether you are truly as fearless as you seem; or if you are simply a master of disguising your terror…! I suppose I’ll never have a chance to find out. I rather hope it was the former. However much I disagree with some of your methods, it feels good to believe there are people in this world who can stare down the devil without flinching. [SHORT SNEER]”

And 1°) it obviously puts Georgie to mind, though in her case, her inability to feel fear was inflicted on her, and 2°) … Oliver had seen Gertrude terrorised in his dreams:

(MAG011, “Antonio Blake”) “Getting closer I realised that there was a person sitting at that desk and it was them that all of this scarlet light was flowing into. I could see none of the figure’s body beneath the flesh that enclosed them, but as I moved around I saw the face was uncovered. It was your face and the expression upon it was far more fearful than any I had seen in eight years of wandering this twilight city. That was when I awoke. […] If you do see this in time and read this far, then to be honest I don’t know what else to tell you. Be careful. There is something coming for you and I don’t know what it is, but it is so much worse than anything I can imagine. At the very least you should look into appointing a successor.”

… so I don’t think Gertrude couldn’t feel it, which means she was probably just really good at hiding it. On the other hand, creature and monsters feel fears and are fed by it, so would it even be possible to fool them if she wasn’t truly fearless?)

- ;; Something bittersweet, too, is that… Gertrude apparently Learned from Adelard and took a page from his book when it came to concrete:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I can’t deny some pride in my solution, Gertrude. In all our discussions of how to contain a being that we could not destroy… I’m not sure we ever hit on a method quite so neat…! I am no builder but, by the end, I think you would have been hard-pressed to criticise how well that concrete had been laid – and Amherst four feet beneath it.”

(MAG103, Dylan Anderson) “If you hadn’t turned up that evening, I don’t know what I’d have done. I know a monster pig wasn’t what you were looking for, but I do appreciate your advice. When you explained the situation, I hoped you’d have some special trick for dealing with it, but I suppose welding scrap metal around the pen and filling it with cement just about works, even if I do owe Mason a favour for borrowing his mixer. I’d have thought the thing would at least try to break free while I did it, but… thank heaven for small mercies, I suppose. A huge block of solid concrete. What ought to do with it? Some sort of engraving, maybe?”

Monster Pig happened in July 2014, so eleven months after Adelard’s message. And Jon had also noticed that Gertrude’s computer had receipts involving “petrol”:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “I have dragged those other afflicted I could find into the Parkplatz, laid them at the feet of that appalling throne, and… taken the last gifts of that… generous construction site: a dozen cans of petrol.”

(MAG066) ARCHIVIST: There’s also the matter of the products she was ordering. There were several online orders of petrol, lighter fluid, pesticides, and high-powered torches. They are sporadic, but notable in that she did not drive, smoke or work in pest control.

… So maybe it was also an idea she got from Adelard’s last actions. Utilitarian, and/or an homage, in a way.

- I’m also HUMMMM re:Adelard, because if there is one thing that’s been recurring when he was depicted fighting avatars or monsters, it’s that he tended to notice what he could use in his surroundings and improvise a lot…

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “Truth be told, I didn’t especially try. I didn’t think I would be able to move quick enough to do so, and was more concerned with being quiet and thorough. The cutlery drawer was largely empty, but after a minute’s searching I did find what I was after: a long, metal skewer. Did you know there are certain forms of brain injury that cut you off from your ability to dream?”

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “At first, I was struck almost with despair, having nothing to hand with which I might attempt a confrontation with this creature. But upon retreating some ways, and considering my options, I realised I actually had… almost the exact resources to hand that I might need. A few minutes spent scouting the surrounding streets even revealed a small construction site, almost precisely suited to my requirements. I returned to the cordon and took what I needed: a stretcher, as many quarantine sleeves as I could carry, and a syringe. […] I loaded the gear into a wheelbarrow I had taken from the building site along with a thick metal chain, and began to head back towards the Parkplatz, stopping only to fill the syringe from a can of garden pesticide I had noticed during my earlier sweep of the houses. […] I dragged the thing over to the building site, and with the last of my strength threw him into the hole that had been left. By this point, the concrete truck I had turned on earlier had been mixing for some time, and it was a simple matter to open the pump and… pour the contents of its hopper down on top of him.”

And isn’t it a bit like Basira?

(MAG142) MARTIN: Would have thought Basira would’ve had more sense, though. DAISY: When Basira and I were partners, I’d see this happen sometimes. She can read a… situation like no one I know, always seems to know the right move, but for all her research, she never wants to put a plan together. I think she just hates all the unknowns, the… variables. [SIGH] Contingencies. If she spots an advantage, she’ll… grab it, and trust herself to figure out the details as she goes. MARTIN: Hm. DAISY: It’s worked so far.

- Aaaah, so confirmation/a few more things about The Eye’s effect!

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “My hands are shaking quite badly and my fingers… aren’t what they were. Even so, just knowing where this is going, this… statement [CHUCKLE], I can feel The Eye’s power on me, be it ever so slight. Steadying me; helping the words flow. Is it strange that… here… now… that seems almost a comfort…?”

I was wondering if something wasn’t at work in the same way as for live statements since people’s letters were so articulate too – it sounds like just being conscious that you’re sending a message to the Institute and/or an Archivist and/or to an agent of The Eye is enough to put you under The Eye’s spell, because your tale interests it? GOSH, it was so sad that Adelard was aware of it, but also that he was potentially stalling since, as long as he was giving a “statement”, he wouldn’t drop dead or reach a state of too much pain to continue…

I’m curious about the fact that the letters Jonah Magnus was receiving were of the same kind – clear enough to be read as statements. Was it “simply” because his penpals from the XIXth century were quite educated and used to sending long, articulate letters? Or was the fact that they knew they were sending them to Jonah influencing them? If so: was it because he was under The Eye’s effects… or because, specifically, he was an Archivist at the time…? (We still don’t know where Jonah fit, back then, if he was more like Elias, or more like Jon… He was collecting supernatural stories, at least.)

- More on the medium Adelard used to give this statement later, but it was explicitly an email:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “You must forgive me, Gertrude, for any typing and spelling errors that might be in this message. […] But it did not seem quite right to leave without letting you know what happened. And… Herr [Becker?] was kind enough to succumb to the sickness without signing out of his computer, so…”

1°) It… worked on a computer. It went through. We only know for sure that statements don’t record digitally in audio form but I was wondering about written ones, whether they could be typed down… Not sure if that’s a confirmation that yes, they can; or if there is something wrong with this statement; or if it’s that somehow, “something” (Web?) helped Adelard’s message to go through.

2°) … There was no static at any point of it during Jon’s reading. I don’t know when statement-reading static has happened for the last time during narration, but there were many moments in this statement at which there could have been, when describing supernatural things…? Why didn’t the tape recorder react to anything at all during the statement, even though Adelard described his encounter with a very powerful avatar? There were no quoted words or verbal exchanges, yes, but the tape recorders don’t only go All Staticcy at those. Overall, I realise that Jon’s last readings haven’t produced a lot of static? Iirc, there was nothing since MAG148, except for a few lines in MAG153 (“Love Bombing”), when there were direct quotes. Is there something hidden in the fact that the tape recorders are reacting less lately…?

- Adelard’s death was Sad News, but I’m so glad that we learned that John Amherst was actually neutralised a few years ago… in the same episode in which we got confirmation that Melanie is alright, is not regretting her choice one bit, and that it didn’t go supernaturally “wrong” or anything.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … No, you’re right, I’m sorry. A–are you alright? MELANIE: Yes! I’m, hum… actually doing okay…! ARCHIVIST: That’s good. MELANIE: [SOFT CHUCKLES] My therapist isn’t happy about it, you know? Uh, unsurprisingly. Tried to have me put away, but they, uh… they let me come here. It’s, it’s been good for me, though! I… I feel alright. I’m, hum… I’m not scared anymore.

I was so afraid that John Amherst would be re-emerging, thus giving Melanie an incentive to go back to business in order to avenge her father? But nop! John Amherst was sealed under concrete five years ago! We’re not safe from him freeing himself, but it’s a hypothetical, not an active threat. Melanie is just free to… enjoy her life. Really free from All That (at least right now), and she… really sounded like she had found peace ;w;

I do also like that it seems like she’s back to the world. The Institute was a closed universe, with its personal rules – only Section 31 officers go when something happens, the Archives team has been isolated (Jon also mentioned that the regular staff didn’t want to talk with him much lately); but now, Melanie is back to another world, with its own rules and workings. Yes, gouging your eyes out is self-mutilation, and means you need help (although in practice, institutionalisation can make things worse); yes, your therapist is going to get worried about it. (The fact that Melanie still said “my” therapist also said, to me, that she was still seeing her? But aouch for the therapist; she must be used to compartmentalising, she must be used to patients self-harming, but probably not to the point of what Melanie did…)

I’m not absolutely sure it was the intended impression, but I reaaally felt that Melanie was currently on painkillers and/or tranquilisers? Her voice sounded almost too relaxed, she sounded like she had just woken up together with The Admiral, and Georgie was insistent on her resting. Nothing negative there – I would find it a bit reassuring for her to be medically handled right now, actually! Doesn’t have to be forever, doesn’t invalidate her words about feeling fine. Just. Melanie is not isolated; she needed help, she sought it, she did something that is understandably perceived as self-harm by society, and she is being tutored to make sure she can relearn to function. (I also wondered, at first, if Georgie was talking to The Admiral or to Melanie because she sounded a bit too cautious rather than tender and concerned, to me? So that would fit, if Melanie’s under treatment right now, and really not needing the extra strain.)

- We lost Tim and he left… so many… Bi babies… in his wake…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? She–she said she was staying with you. GEORGIE: Yes, she’s here. ARCHIVIST: Really? Where’s all her stuff? GEORGIE: Bedroom, why? ARCHIVIST: … No, I just– [STATIC] Oh. Oh! I’m sor– I didn’t– I didn’t realise you were… to–together… GEORGIE: That’s ‘cause it’s none of your business. Now leave.

(MAG086) MELANIE: Then there are some old cuttings about Robin Patton. […] Hmm, wasn’t bad looking, before… well… that.

(MAG106) MELANIE: I don’t think so; Georgie Barker? She does What the Ghost?. […] Well, she and Jon, they… dated. BASIRA: Yeah? MELANIE: I mean, it was years ago.

(That’s also putting another light of Melanie’s discomfort when she mentioned that Jon&Georgie had dated – I was assuming it was mostly because Urk, Don’t Wanna Think About Jon’s Romantic Life since she was Eww at the concept of thinking about him sleeping with Martin, but. (ALSO, the beauty that in the same breath, we had Melanie talking about Georgie, describing past Jon-Georgie, and mentioning Martin’s ~fussing~ over Jon.))

“What’s the Ghost?” is officially queer culture! ;w;

I’m SUPER GLAD for Georgie to get a girlfriend, very !! but a tiny bit less over Melanie&Georgie being together at the moment – but that’s mostly because 1°) I also REALLY love Deep And Very Important Platonic Relationships, and Melanie&Georgie had been that to me so far with Georgie helping her, and we… don’t have a lot of deep friendships at the moment (quite the contrary, we have a lot of pairs who are (not all confirmed but STILL) romantic in nature: Martin-Jon, Basira-Daisy, now Georgie-Melanie), and personal taste but I would have liked to hear about Melanie re-learning to function outside of the Institute before learning that she’s actually romantically involved with the person who had supported her in her steps towards recovery, 2°) … I’m super concerned about Basira&Daisy because, if one romantic relationship had to be canon-canonised, I was expecting them to get that first, and I’m Still Super Afraid About Daisy’s Chances Of Survival By The End Of The Season, so a bit heartlessly strategical here, but thinking that giving us Georgie/Melanie miiiiight be a way to not… destroy all the wlw romances. If Daisy dies, I’m also losing the only Intense Platonic Friendship we have at the moment (hers with Jon), so, sob.

… But then, Melanie is saying that JON IS A FRIEND

(MAG157) GEORGIE: Melanie, you don’t have to do this… MELANIE: It’s, it’s okay. He’s… welcome. As a friend. But that’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. MELANIE: But you’re not after a friend, are you, Jon?

AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS NEW CHALLENGER!! IT’S SUCH A WILD DEVELOPMENT THINKING BACK TO THEIR FIRST INTERACTIONS…………………

(MAG028) MELANIE: I knew you guys were a bit… slapdash, but this is absurd. ARCHIVIST: No doubt you’re used to a higher calibre of equipment when pretending to see ghosts in old churchyards and mental institutions. MELANIE: People like a show. People like our show. And, even if we do ham it up a bit, even we do add a bit of sparkle, we’re still more respected and evidence-based paranormal investigators than you and your lot. [NERVOUS, DISPARAGING LAUGH] ARCHIVIST: We are not “paranormal investigators”. We are researchers. Scholars. MELANIE: Whatever. […] ARCHIVIST: Hmm. And you’re sure you weren’t… dreaming? MELANIE: Are you serious? ARCHIVIST: I just have to check every possibility. Obviously working in your field, you must have quite a powerful imagination. MELANIE: Great! Great! I should have known this was a complete waste of my time.

(MAG063) MELANIE: You look like hell. ARCHIVIST: It’s been a hard few months. Look, can I help you, because if you’re just after another shouting match… MELANIE: No! I… I actually do need your help. ARCHIVIST: Hm. Interesting. MELANIE: Alright, can you not be an arsehole about it? I just need access to your library. […] I don’t exactly have the “academic credentials” you guys demand. So I apparently need someone to vouch for me. And you’re basically the closest thing I’ve got to a friend here. ARCHIVIST: We’ve spoken once, and we ended up screaming at each other.

So yes, losing a platonic relationship but getting a new friendship in the process ;w;

- I’m not sure the scene actually played this way? But given how The Admiral purred:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Ah– [DOOR OPENS] MELANIE: Oh? What’s go–, what’s going on? You… you woke The Admiral… GEORGIE: Hey, hey, easy; it’s–it’s alright, he was just leaving. ARCHIVIST: Melanie, I… MELANIE: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, it’s… me. GEORGIE: It’s alright, Melanie. Jon, leave. [ADMIRAL STARTS PURRING] ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I just… […] I suppose not… GEORGIE: Okay [ADMIRAL MEOWS IN PROTEST], you’re done. [PURRING CEASES] ARCHIVIST: Yeah. [INHALE] Yeah, I am.

I pictured The Admiral rushing towards Jon as soon as Melanie opened the door, more or less climbing on Jon until Jon secured him in his arms. The Admiral’s purrs were loud, so he had to be close to the tape recorder, right? And given his protest when Georgie cut in, she removed him from a comfy place, so that wasn’t Melanie’s arms.

(So: I pictured it as The Admiral in Jon’s arms AND Melanie petting it, able to find him through his purr. Melanie’s voice sounded like she was doing something else at the same time, to me? So yeah. Very close, very intimate, very comfy.)

(Kudos to Georgie for stepping back once Melanie began to talk about herself, without interrupting! She’s a good! Jon also has learnt his lesson from MAG131 and did not interrupt, listened to her! Sadly, Georgie is losing Awesomeness Points because… she retrieved The Admiral before he was done purring? D: Kitty crime??? Georgie, how could you do that to the cat? D:)

- I found Georgie a bit less harsh about Jon, too: not saying that her stances in season 4 haven’t been valid, far from it! But she’s still fair, and she didn’t blame him for Melanie’s injuries, she only pointed out the sacrifice Melanie had to make in order to flee, and wanted to make sure that Jon wouldn’t undo it, which was… extremely legitimate.

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [MUFFLED SOUNDS OF THE STREET] GEORGIE: No, Jon, you’ve done enough! ARCHIVIST: I just need to talk to her. GEORGIE: What don’t you understand? She mutilated herself to get out of that place, and there is absolutely no way I’m letting you involve her again! ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? She–she said she was staying with you.

(And she was right about Jon threatening to pull Melanie back in, since Jon acknowledged he wasn’t really after a “friend” in current circumstances.)

Since Melanie did acknowledge that it might have been hard for Jon to tell her about Eric’s statement, I wonder if Georgie won’t mellow down about Jon a bit, given that Jon has indeed been trying a bit more, lately…? That will depend on Jon’s state at the end of season 4 (are we “losing” him forever? Or will he still try to not totally give in to The Eye, without cutting their link?), but it could be a possibility…

(I liked what we saw of Jon&Georgie’s friendship in season 3 a lot é_è Jon had remembered their break-up as having been a bad one, and despite it, they were getting along in season 3, and Georgie could be harsh and fair with him, so… I still want to cling to the hope that they’d manage to get back on speaking terms at some point, if Jon doesn’t fall entirely and keeps trying like he has begun to do… Maybe there could still be a way for them to build something again… maybe…)

(- At the same time: yes, Melanie&Georgie are legitimate to want to stay out of the supernatural business and to not participate in it anymore.

… On the other hand: if “bad things are coming” and an apocalypse is launched, and the world is changed, and monsters are let loose into the world because what was left of Team Archive wasn’t powerful/competent/numerous enough to prevent it… they won’t have any right to complain about what happens. But that’s interesting, because still “nobody is right/wrong” in their situations, even when they’re not directly harming anybody; if nobody is there to stop powerful avatars, like Adelard did, or to prevent rituals, then what would happen? More victims, probably. So, at the same time, it feels like it’s nobody’s and everybody’s responsibility to step in when they can.)

- Okay, so Basira&Daisy were unavailable, and Jon didn’t have anyone else, but still SOBBING that “someone I can trust” turned out to be Melanie, because gnnn. After learning about Eric’s statement, they made different choices, but I’m so soft for the fact that Jon still valued Melanie’s opinion and…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Melanie, I… MELANIE: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, it’s… me. GEORGIE: It’s alright, Melanie. Jon, leave. [ADMIRAL STARTS PURRING] ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I just… It’s Martin. MELANIE: Jon… don’t… Please. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … No, you’re right, I’m sorry. A–are you alright? MELANIE: Yes! I’m, hum… actually doing okay…! ARCHIVIST: That’s good.

… wanted to make sure she was fine!!! Even in the midst of urgency, of the fact that Martin was very likely in Big Danger and Not Fine, Jon still took the time to ask Melanie about it!!

- Jon Learned but at the same time, so many poor choices of words…

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Look, is she here or not? […] Look after yourself. Both of you.

jON… Being an Eye avatar doesn’t mean you have to be insensitive about it…

- ;; Overall: I’m sad that… Jon has indeed learnt. He didn’t dash to the tunnels, trying to find the centre on his own, or to go fight Peter. He immediately understood he needed to think about the broader picture, about who could have wanted him to listen to the tape and read the statement, and his first instinct was to want to talk about it with people he could trust.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but… Basira and Daisy are… “out”, somewhere. […] I need someone I can trust. [LONG SIGH] […] Please, Georgie, it’s not– … I just need to know I’m not overreacting to something, I need an outside perspective.

It’s mostly that, due to circumstances, all his options have been cut. The timing of Daisy&Basira leaving is definitely too suspicious to think that it was unrelated and had nothing to do with getting Jon isolated, worried, and prone to being easily manipulated into doing something… so I’m guessing that the point was that someone/thing (Elias, Peter or Annabelle) is trying to get him to reach the centre. But Jon did try, and indeed, what other options would he have at the moment? Waiting for Basira&Daisy to come back, while Martin could be getting sacrificed? With the current configuration, I can understand that Jon is not keen on risking it… although, yeah. It’s undoing all the “trust” he was forcing himself to give Martin from afar during this season – his understanding that Martin had a plan, and that Jon had to hope Martin knew what he was doing to ensure Martin’s success. Jon made a mistake once when he tried to “Know” about Peter’s plans at the end of MAG139… and is probably doing a new one right now, confused by urgency. (“A tiny… hairline fracture, which destroys everything.”, to quote MAG139 orz)

… and hum. You know what had previously claimed to bank on Jon’s worry for someone to get him to level up a bit more?

(MAG135) ELIAS: Fine. Consider it a test – things are… coming, things that will need Jon to be far stronger and more willing to use his connection to our patron. His performance during The Unknowing was… disappointing. I needed a way to force him to harness his ability more acutely than he had before. The coffin was a useful tool; Daisy an adequate bait. BASIRA: Then you messed up. Way he tells it, he doesn’t know how he got out of there. ELIAS: But he did. And his powers were no small part of it. Even if he required some assistance, they were what saved him. And he’s still achieved what no one – mortal, monster, or anything in-between – has ever been able to. He climbed out of The Buried. BASIRA: [DRY SIGH] What was the point? You won’t be getting your ritual off from in here so, what do you need him for? What’s so important you need him stronger?

Still squinting very hard about The Bastard and the concept that ~no, he’s not getting his ceremony off from his prison~.

- Amongst all the exchanges, this moment was probably my favourite:

(MAG157) MELANIE: It’s, it’s okay. He’s… welcome. As a friend. But that’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. MELANIE: But you’re not after a friend, are you, Jon? ARCHIVIST: I need an ally. MELANIE: Then I can’t help you. [SHORT SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I suppose not…

Because it immediately conveyed that… Jon wasn’t seeking an opinion about whether or not to try to get involved and help Martin – that opinion would have been a “friend’s”. No; at this point, Jon had already decided to go in. And I like that Melanie, of all people, was immediately able to pinpoint that.

- Laughing forever, though, that YESSS, rule of three re:Jon and wlw:

(MAG089) ARCHIVIST: I just… er, you were a friend of Agnes Montague, correct? JUDE: She’s not one of your little stories.

(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: I think Basira is the same, she's coming along to back-up Daisy, or so she says. I–I– I don't quite get those two, I suppose. What they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… It’s a hell of a bond.

I can’t believe it took Beholding’s powers for him to realise. (Though, to be honest: he knew Melanie&Georgie were friends, Georgie was going on dates with other people in season 3, we don’t know whether Georgie is poly or not, so it wasn’t a given that they had gotten together sometime before this episode.)

- You know things are dire when, in the last few episodes: 1°) even Jon said “fuck”, 2°) Jon knocked on a door, not only once but twice.

(MAG146) [CLICK–] ARCHIVIST: [BREATHING HEAVILY, FRANTICALLY BANGING ON A DOOR] [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [DISTORTION SOUNDS, BRINGING CONSTANT STATIC] HELEN: You rang~?

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [FRANTICALLY BANGING ON A DOOR] [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [DISTORTION SOUNDS, BRINGING CONSTANT STATIC] ARCHIVIST: Helen…! HELEN: Jonathan~?

(Well. Banged on a door that wasn’t there.) Reminder that there is few knocking around Jon, and he still diiiiid it, times are… what they are.

(- When was the last time that someone called Jon “Jonathan”? I only remember Georgie’s “Jonathan Sims, are you trying to save the world?” from MAG093, and Elias in his first appearance:

(MAG017) ARCHIVIST: A complaint? I could just as easily complain about her wasting my time! ELIAS: That’s not how it works, Jonathan.

Helen had been generally replying to Jon on the same level when it came to names/designations, so was she just playful, or was this a way to point out that “Helen” is technically as formal as “Jonathan”, and not something someone close to Jon would call him? Even Melanie calls him “Jon”. Why “Jonathan” suddenly? Just for the variety?)

- SAD for Jon that his option as “ally” was… Helen, given what we’ve seen of her lately:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: I need to know that’s in there, what’s at the centre, it’s–it’s important, Martin… I need to know. HELEN: [CONTAINED TITTER] That’s a shame. Because I’m afraid I’m not going to tell you. ARCHIVIST: What…? Why not? HELEN: Because I have a good enough sense of what’s going on to know that it will be much – more – fun – without – my – involvement…! [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] […] ARCHIVIST: Just tell me what’s going on – please! HELEN: Bad things, Archivist. [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] Really – bad – things!

It sounds like she’s going full Distortion lately, uh? She seemed comparatively so stable and straightforward, in MAG131…

- AHHAHA, Helen had reminded Jon about her sharpness recently:

(MAG152) ARCHIVIST: Huh? You’ve got hands. HELEN: Sharp enough to pull out worms. Kill a few old men. Maybe stab an overeager Archivist… ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: But my physicality is as much an illusion as everything else about me. Think of me… as a bear trap. Not a sword.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: I don’t have time for this! [STATIC] What is at the centr– [SHARP SOUND AS HELEN GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT] HELEN: No. We are not playing your game now. ARCHIVIST: [PAINED SOUNDS] HELEN: Don’t forget how sharp I can be, Archivist. Perhaps here, now, you’re powerful enough to learn what you want from me. But if you try, I promise you I will resist, and only one of us is going to survive the attempt. [SHARPING SOUND, RETREATING]

“Not a sword”, uh.

And we’re back to Jon getting whumped and threatened by everyone. It’s… interesting that Helen felt that Jon’s compulsion was an actual threat – it had annoyed Jude, too, but Helen directly went for the throat (… apparently, it was actually truly the throat in the script, Anil said). Would getting straight answers from The Distortion cause it harm on an essential level, like it potentially happened with Breekon when Jon “extracted” his statement and got to “know” him?

- Also interesting that Jon’s compulsion is apparently getting stronger? You would think that Jon’s powers would begin to crash and burn since he’s quit taking live statements, especially since Helen advised him to get a victim to replenish himself, but nop. Is it still from the power-boost Jon got when he chose not to die? Is it because of the new Fears he experienced over season 4 (Flesh taking ribs out of him, going and getting out of The Buried, staring at the Dark Sun)? Is it because we’re in 2018, and it’s supposed to be kind of a zenith for Beholding given that it’s the Institute’s anniversary…?

- … I was very scared that Jon might have forced a statement out of someone on the way to Georgie’s, but given how Helen invited him to find one right now, doesn’t seem to be the case!

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Fine. [PANTING] Can you take me there? To the centre? HELEN: I honestly don’t know. But I’m not inclined to risk it. ARCHIVIST: Damn you! HELEN: Run home, Jon. Find a victim on the way~ Chaos is coming, and I think you’d best be ready.

Which is a relief ;;

I’m… super worried about Basira and Daisy, who left Jon absolutely unsupervised, and with Jon proving that he is able to go outside. Melanie is not there anymore either to check on him, and Jon had told Martin juuust a few episodes ago that:

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: Honestly: thank you. [EXHALE] It’s been hell, but… I–I did need to hear it. MARTIN: Oh, hum… Uh, g–good. Heh. Are the others… helping? ARCHIVIST: Oh! [DRY CHUCKLE] They’ve been keeping a… very close eye on me…!

… but no, it’s really not the case right now ;; And I’m worried again. What’s the point of Jon getting caught and made to stop in the last third of the season…? I still feel like if he makes new innocent victims, then it’s indeed over for him (there would be nothing to differentiate him from other avatars who feed and prey on innocents to stay alive); is his withdrawal a step towards something else…? Or is it to exemplify that there could have been another option, that Jon didn’t hold to it and crashed himself down in the end…?

- From their point of view, I’m REALLY worried that Daisy&Basira left suddenly, leaving Jon unsupervised and alone because… why would they.

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but… Basira and Daisy are… “out”, somewhere. They left in a hurry and didn’t tell me why; now, their phones are going to voicemail. Maybe they’re just… on the Underground, and probably th– … That doesn’t help me now. [SIGH]

The way Jon phrased it, it seems like he saw them leaving (it wasn’t that he couldn’t find them or anything), so? Why would they choose to not tell Jon? What could make them leave together, Daisy included, when Daisy was still “weak”? They could be trapped in Helen’s corridors right now (like Tim&Martin at the end of season 2), or in The Lonely because Peter wanted to get Jon absolutely isolated, but I’m still a bit baffled about why they would leave Jon unsupervised and without telling him anything.

1°) Is it that Basira managed to convince Daisy to Hunt again (nooo, Basira, don’t…), and to go after Trevor&Julia… ;; (Or Julia&Trevor were spotted somewhere, and they left to get them with Daisy trying hard not to Hunt.)

2°) Same thing, but with Annabelle Cane?

3°) Maybe they left for the tunnels on their own because something’s happening down there/Basira found something about it in the Archives, and it was really important to not talk about it (because Elias Watching, or The Web having its many eyes on him) and/or because Jon is still an avatar of The Eye…?

4°) Or plainly: they read Adelard’s statement, were the ones who left it on Jon’s desk, and are trying to stop Peter&Martin. … Would still be very stupid, tho, because OF COURSE Jon would panic about it ;; Unless they read it, hid it, and something else pulled it out to get Jon to panic. Could Martin have contacted them about something they need to do without Jon knowing? Basira knew that Martin was planning to go for a self-sacrifice; if it’s tied to this, it could explain why they didn’t tell Jon anything regarding their departure.

5°) … It would still go back in the “but why not tell Jon!!” category, but I’m really worried that there is something very wrong with Elias’s prison right now, hence why they left in a hurry – that either he has disappeared (and/or was “Peter’s map”, so Peter got him out), either the prison is unresponsive and it turns out it has been under Elias’s control for a looong while. He didn’t seem too upset about the prospect of going in MAG120, the Institute was built with strong ties to the Millbank prison (so it’s not an unfamiliar place for The Eye to thrive), and we still don’t know what he’s “eating” (/how come Elias is fine, as an avatar of The Eye, while Jon is suffering so badly from withdrawal? Is Elias himself really under withdrawal?)…

(MAG120) POLICE OFFICER: By all means, mister Bouchard: why don't you have a look in my head, and see exactly what will happen to you when you mess with me. ELIAS: [GRUNT] There will be no need for that, inspector, I’m sure we’ll get along famously. POLICE OFFICER: Good. ELIAS: Best of luck, Martin. Ah, let the others know I shall be thinking of them. MARTIN: [SIGH]

(MAG127) BASIRA: Can we cut the bullshit? ELIAS: What “bullshit” might that be? BASIRA: The part where you pretend you don’t spend your whole time watching us. ELIAS: … Sometimes I’m eating.

+ There is the fact that Elias spent this entire season in prison, and I have trouble picturing him still inside at the beginning of season 5. He’s getting out before that.

- ;; GODS, Jon listening to Martin&Peter’s exchange was so tense and heartbreaking… we knew that Jon had listened to previous tapes, but it was something else to hear his deep breathing, really heavy and conveying how much he was… upset? Worried? Angry about Peter?

(MAG157) [CLICK–] [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “… Will I be coming back?” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “You’re not going to die–” ARCHIVIST: [LONG, SHAKY INHALE] PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “–if that’s what you’re asking–” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “–but… no. If all goes well, you won’t be.” ARCHIVIST: [DEEP, SHAKY BREATHES] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “[LONG INHALE, EXHALE]” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “How does that make you feel?” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “… Nothing.” ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “[SNORT]” ARCHIVIST: [LONG EXHALE] MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Nothing at all…!” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Excellent. I’m so proud of you, Martin.” MARTIN’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “I really don’t care.” PETER’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG156: “Perfect.” [CLICK.] ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] This… tape was left on my desk.

1°) I was wondering, but Peter’s voice indeed records on tape!

2°) Complete with the squeal of distortions that are his trademark when we’re hearing him live. So it’s indeed something that tampers with the recording a bit, but not to the point of being inaudible.

3°) It was the worst pre- and post-supplemental to hear when it came to Martin… the one when he sounded the most “lost into the Lonely”…………. And he had said he wasn’t sure whether he still cared about ~Jon hearing his voice~ at the start of it…

And at the same time: given how Martin had been so self-aware of being recorded, of Peter being potentially in the room… the question is still open. Elias did acknowledge that Martin was manipulative:

(MAG138) MARTIN: … What? [HUFF] That’s it? No, no monologue, no mindgames? You love manipulating people! ELIAS: That makes two of us. MARTIN: [HUFF]

And was it only about keeping tapes from Jon behind Peter’s back? How much can we trust of what we heard from Martin during season 4? Even Jon had managed to hide that he had attacked people from his recordings; it took Jess’s complaint and Helen calling Jon out for him to admit what he had done. Does Martin truly not “care”, as Peter was glad to hear, or was Martin feeding Peter what he wanted to hear, too…?

(tl;dr Web!Martin is not dead as long as Martin is still alive :|)

(- I'm Still Not Claiming That It’s Romantic On Jon’s Part Until We Get A Very Explicit Confirmation Because I Wanna Raise The Bar Higher, but: Jon… Jon, you big worried bi…

Urk… The fact that he went “Martin” first, before giving Helen a formulation that she probably wanted to hear (=> Jon as an Eye-avatar Wanting To Know…))

(- Last minute Extinction speculation, but I wonder if Adelard’s most important speculation in his last message wasn’t this one:

(MAG157, Adelard Dekker) “while I have seen evidence of its influence in other Powers, I have never found anything to genuinely prove its emergence as a true Power of its own. Perhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore”

… what if, indeed, The Extinction had never been a Fifteenth Power… but a kind of enhancer? Every time Adelard was prone to label an occurrence as an Extinction one, it felt like it was operating on a big scale. What if The Extinction is indeed something new, but mostly boosting good old Fears into something bigger, scarier, more effective – and a few of them, such as the Corruption, would obviously be more compatible than others?)

- There are indeed so many options about who left the tape and the statements, and why:

(MAG157) ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] This… tape was left on my desk. I don’t know by who, but to my mind there are… three options. Martin has left it here, to let me know that… whatever the situation is with Peter Lukas, it is entering its final act and he needs my help. Alternatively, Peter may have left it here to… goad me into action? Or just to gloat, to highlight my helplessness and everything. [SIGH] Or Annabelle Cane is trying to manipulate me into thinking it’s one of the other scenarios. Previously, the Spiders have made their presence clear when they’ve sent me… “hints”, but I can’t take that for granted. I don’t know what to do…! [SIGH] There’s a statement with it. It looks pretty recent – hm! First time in a while I’ve been… wary of reading one. … Still. I guess… [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] [PAPER RUSTLING] […] This, uh… this changes things. I–I think. … If Martin found this, r–read it already, then perhaps he’s having… second thoughts about, about Peter and The Extinction, this… this could be a cry for help, his way of asking me to follow him without Peter knowing, or… [EXHALE] Or what? I don’t understand – Martin’s been quite clear he doesn’t want my help…! Am I just hearing what I want to hear? I need a second opinion, but…

1°) But Jon casually ignored the fact that the statement was a last message, sent to an Archivist, to say goodbye, and that… that could have been what Martin was aiming at. (I’m not really digging that Martin would have done that without leaving a message on his own, though; even if he were to stop caring about Jon, he would still keep in mind that Jon would be prone to doing drastic things to try to save people, or to run into danger. He got a whole discussion with Daisy about it in MAG142, and asked Basira not to tell Jon that he wasn’t planning on coming back just a few episodes ago.)

2°) The tape and the statement have been left by different persons/things, and had different purposes, and/or one of the factions could have subtilized something else to prevent Jon to connecting dots.

3°) A big question is also who was aware of Adelard’s last message (and of his death). I lost my bet that Peter had killed him, but still: it’s extremely suspicious that Peter never mentioned in front of Martin the possibility of getting Adelard’s own help… so he must have known it wasn’t an option. We never heard Martin questioning about it, so… Martin might have found out, or guessed about it, too.

4°) Adelard’s message was explicitly an email:

… And Peter’s not good with computers:

(MAG126) PETER: Anyway, I’m very excited to see this rota you’ve put together. Never had much of a gift for– MARTIN: Okay. PETER: –administration myself; too many variables. Now, this box on the left, that’s the library stuff, yes? MARTIN: What? N–n–no, th–th–that’s, no, those are the dates, I– … Look, are you sure you don’t want me to teach you? It’s, it’s a very simple program– PETER: No. No. Can’t stand computers. Besides! That’s why I have an assistant, isn’t it? MARTIN: [SIGH] Yeah. I guess so.

Unlike Annabelle (who was very interest in the www in MAG123), and unlike Martin. Who printed it out? Gertrude? Or someone else, very recently?

- ;; Is next week Jon trying to reach the centre of the tunnels already (and unknowingly being Peter’s map, being tracked when thinking he was tracking Peter&Martin?), using or not using Leitner’s supernatural copy of The Seven Lamps of Architecture, or going to ask Elias for help because he’s desperate………………… I don’t see many more options for Jon at this point… There is still the Threat of Jon’s inner door looming here:

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] It’s… hard. It’s like there’s a–a–a door, in my mind. And behind it, is… i–is the entire ocean. Before, I didn’t notice it, but now, I know it’s there, and I can’t forget it, and I can feel the pressure of the water on it. I, I, I can keep it closed… but sometimes, when I’m around p–people, or–or places, or… ideas, a drop or two will push through the cracks, at the edges of the door. And I’ll… know something. BASIRA: … What happens, if you open the door? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: I drown.

… and I’m dreading that yes, he would try to open it to find the centre, in order to find Martin… ;; (And that there is actually no centre; only Jon, with his sea of knowledge, in the middle, thus precipitating the bad things Helen was cackling about.)

- As usual: what are Elias/Annabelle/Peter’s plans and aims, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggg

(- Hi, guess who was there at every 38th episode of a season so far:

(MAG038) ARCHIVIST: Urgh. Urgh. [SOUND OF CHAIR SCRAPING] I see you… [THUMP… THEN SOUND OF COLLAPSING SHELVES] [NOISES OF EXCLAMATION] [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Alright? ARCHIVIST: Ah… Yeah. A… spider. SASHA: A spider? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I tried to kill it… the shelf collapsed. SASHA: I swear, cheap shelves are… Did you get it? ARCHIVIST: Ah… I hope so. Thinks so. Nasty, bulbous looking thing. SASHA: [CHUCKLES] Well, I won’t tell Martin. ARCHIVIST: Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.

(MAG078) ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERED] It is remarkably easy to buy an axe in Central London. Harder to sneak it into Artefact Storage but not impossible. I don’t know if destroying this is going to kill that thing… but I am damn sure it’s going to hurt. […] Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.

(MAG118) DAISY: Shut. Up. BASIRA: It’s just cobwebs. ARCHIVIST: There’s no such thing as just cobwebs! I don’t like it. TIM: Tough.

MmMMmmmMMmmmMMMmm.)

Title for MAG158 is… ouft. F–finally, I guess?

So, hum. Beholding, I guess? (It would be the 5th one this season if we count MAG138 as mostly Eye’s… ;;) And probably tunnels stuff. Depending on how the groups are split, could be Peter&Martin, Basira&Daisy&Elias or Elias&Jon, I guess… I’m mostly expecting no statement and a two-part climax like in season 3, but if there is a statement, I guess it could be read/told by Elias, whether alone or ~in company~ (a letter to/from Jonah Magnus? Another thing from Smirke’s earliest days? Something related to [the title itself]?).

Regarding the… less concrete aspect of the title, it… could be either about Elias (is he really confined.), either about Jon and his powers, I guess……………… could be Jon opening his ~inner door~ to try to find Martin/the centre of the maze, too……………….

#mag157 #tma liveblog #tma season 4 #long post/#5 #tma spoilers #the magnus archives

22 notes · View notes

marvelousbirthdays · 5 years

Text

Happy Birthday, sincenothinglasts

July 10-Daisy/Loki, something with hurt/comfort, lots of feels, and a happy ending maybe with (nonsexual) “I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?” or “Please stay. I’d like some company.”, please! And if you could insert a little bit of jealousy somewhere, it would be perfect, for @sincenothinglasts

Written by @ladywinterlight

Note: I have seen Avengers: Endgame and there are minor spoilers. I hope that’s cool with everyone.

This is loosely based on the alternate timeline where Loki escaped with the Tesseract. Pre-series AoS, though who knows what would’ve happened with AoS in that timeline. Happy birthday!

Loki didn’t know why she fascinated him so.

He’d caught glimpses of her, in the chaos of the attack on New York City. She should’ve been just another mortal, so very beneath him. And yet.

The Tesseract gave him the ability to skip about the cosmos at will, sometimes at random, even to places his magic couldn’t readily take him. And somehow he continually found himself back on Midgard, just slightly out of phase with the rest of her reality.

Watching. Listening.

At first, he thought perhaps it was some lingering effect of the control stone in the scepter he’d carried while doing Thanos’ bidding. Some unknown way the magic had affected his mind. But as the effects faded, his fascination with her remained steady.

She had so much potential, something he sensed just under the surface. She also carried so much pain, though it never showed when she interacted with others. Even if most of her ‘interaction’ was through the computers she had set up in her tiny mobile living space.

A ‘van’ she’d called it, once or twice, in his hearing.

Even cloaked, he didn’t dare linger around her constantly. But he kept coming back, for some unknown reason.

~~~~~

Skye knew she was being watched.

She had no idea who it might be, or why they’d be stalking her in particular; she’d never been truly caught hacking, Stark and his AIs aside, not even electronically. Other than Miles, who just wanted back into her pants, and Matt, who she’d mostly distanced herself from to avoid hurting his career as a lawyer with her less-than-legal activities, Skye didn’t really have any friends.

But she had somehow acquired a part-time, invisible watcher.

Maybe it was some kind of alien, watching her to learn more about human behavior. The idea made her scoff at herself, but after the Chitauri invasion… it wasn’t entirely unbelievable, either.

Though why they’d have chosen her was less understandable. She wasn’t anything special.

When the feeling of being watched hadn’t dissipated by dinnertime, she assembled her usual - canned tuna fish sandwiches - and set the plastic plate down between herself and the ‘empty’ space in her van.

“Whomever you are, you must be hungry,” she said aloud, as her eyes skittered around the space. “You could stay. I’d like some company.”

Loki was taken aback. He’d never been noticed before, no matter whom he’d silently spied upon. But… this was Midgard, and he would hardly expect to be welcome if he showed himself. But then the second comment registered. He hesitated, uncertain. Of course, he could always use the Tesseract or his own magic to take him away if she reacted poorly to his presence.

Perhaps it was worth the risk.

Skye’s breath caught sharply when the air shimmered for a moment, revealing the previously hidden figure. He looked ridiculously imposing in his black and green armor, despite being tucked casually into a corner of her van.

Her eyes traced their way up his face until their gazes met, and she fought back the urge to recoil.

Loki. She recognized him from televised clips of the incident in Germany and the battle in New York.

And yet, he hadn’t attacked her in any of his prior visits. She’d had the sensation of being watched on and off for a few months, and she was still fine.

So she ventured a small smile. “Nice to meet you, I think? I’m Skye. But you probably knew that.”

After watching her, Loki knew she had a tendency to talk when nervous. She tended to brazen her way out of awkward situations, but he had also seen her out-think potential trouble. So he simply responded with a smile of his own. “I did, but it is nice to make your acquaintance properly.”

She studied him for a long, quiet moment. Then she nudged the plate closer to him. “I’d imagine tuna is beneath the palette of the would-be king of the world, but it’s food. I don’t mind sharing.”

“I would not be so rude as to refuse such a generous offer,” he replied, lightly mocking but in a friendly way. Much to his own surprise. “Though I daresay it’s beneath such a clever individual as yourself as well.”

Rolling her eyes at his teasing, Skye just shrugged. “Cleverness doesn’t come with a paycheck, and cheap food is still enough to get by on.”

Loki reached for a sandwich and tried a bite as she watched. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but certainly nothing like he was accustomed to. “Thank you for sharing,” he said lowly; even if it wasn’t much, it had been a long time since someone had offered to share with him from what little they had. He watched as she picked up another sandwich and started to eat.

“You’re welcome. It’s only polite, you know?”

He gave a little shrug. “Some on your world would say I have already proven I do not deserve courtesy.”

His comment made Skye chuckle and she shook her head. “Many would say I don’t deserve courtesy, either. I’m just a poor orphan, living in my van.”

The sheer lack of judgment in her tone or in her expression as their eyes met again made Loki’s heart skip a beat. No one, other than Frigga, had ever made him want to be completely honest with them. And yet, Skye did. “Then we have something in common.”

Skye watched quietly as the mask Loki wore, carefully guarding his thoughts and feelings, cracked a bit. She caught sight of the deeply held pain in his eyes, if only briefly. It made him seem more human. “Well, I’m guessing you don’t live in a van, so…”

“Twas not long ago that I learned the truth, that the parents I thought I had are not truly mine,” Loki finished for her, his tone more subdued than she’d ever expected from him.

She frowned, tilting her head inquisitively. “You’re adopted? That’s not so bad.”

Loki blinked at her. “They lied to me. My whole life, they lied. They let me believe they were my parents, when in truth I was the monster they sheltered in order to prevent another war.”

“Were they cruel to you?” she asked bluntly. “Did they beat you, starve you, or lock you in a closet when you cried?” Visibly startled, Loki shook his head. “Did they raise you, love you, to the best of their ability?” This time he nodded. Skye shrugged and went back to her sandwich. “Then they’re your parents. Blood doesn’t make family. God knows, there are a few families I always wished would’ve adopted me.”

“But I am a monster, the enemy they all speak of with such disdain,” Loki protested.

“I don’t understand,” Skye admitted readily. “But if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

Carefully placing his half-eaten sandwich back on the plate, Loki ran his hands through his hair in agitation. “I don’t think you can understand,” he began, but paused when she scoffed.

“So explain. If you can explain why it’s such a big deal, I should be able to get it,” she pointed out.

So he told her. Described the long wars between Asgard and Jotunheim, the longstanding hatred between the races. Growing up with a hereditary enemy, one his so-called brother had sworn to eradicate when they were still children. And then the shock of encountering them in battle for himself, reacting differently on a physical and magical level than he’d expected. Forcing the truth from Odin’s lips, and his growing self-hatred… never worse than when Odin rejected him and his attempt to destroy the monsters.

As if that would destroy the monster in himself as well.

They’d long since finished eating by the time the story was done. Somewhere along the line they’d moved; Skye half reclined on a pile of pillows and Loki found himself leaning into her embrace, her arms wrapped around him comfortingly.

“I get it,” she offered quietly when the silence drew out between them. “I was always classed as a troublemaker, too. I only ever wanted a place to belong, and to keep the kids younger than me safe from the bad families. I mean, no one was at war or anything. But some people here foster kids just because the government pays them for it. Some don’t care about the kids, or even really want them. The good families… the ones who made you feel safe, the ones you thought you could maybe stay with… they were a lot fewer and further between. So… I understand. I know the feeling of wanting to belong so badly, and reacting badly when you find out that you never can.” Skye sighed. “Your parents love you, though; I hope you can see that. And maybe, someday, you can make things right with them. On both sides, yours and theirs. I kinda envy that, you know? They’re still around, so you still have a chance to fix those relationships.”

“How are you so wise for one so young?” Loki asked rhetorically. He felt strangely light, unburdened. And with a bit of hope, for the first time in Norns knew how long.

“Kids in the system don’t get to be kids for long,” Skye answered anyway. “I may not be a thousand years old, but I’ve seen more than my share of crap.”

“I would like to show you some of the beauty in the galaxy, if you’d let me,” Loki offered. “There’s a great deal of it out there.”

“Perhaps,” she conceded, her tone noncommittal. She doubted he actually meant it, but it was a nice thought. “But I think you probably ought to go see your family first.” She was interrupted by a yawn.

“I should let you sleep,” Loki began, gathering himself for a dismissal.

“You could stay,” she offered again. It was probably not the brightest idea she’d ever had, and yet somehow the risk seemed worth it when his demeanor brightened. “Not a lot of space, but you can share.”

“I can… enlarge the space, if you’d like?” he suggested tentatively. “With magic.”

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Skye responded immediately. Loki didn’t need to do anything as trite as wave a wand or cast a complicated spell. Instead, she watched a look of concentration cross his face and then the space in her van just sort of seemed to… bend. Suddenly there were several feet between the futon where they rested and the walls of the van, and her computers were further down the length of the space as well. A flick of his fingers caused her pillows to suddenly multiply and the futon expanded until there was more than enough room for two.

“That’s awesome. I wish I could do that every night,” Skye enthused.

“I… I don’t know if Midgardians have magical aptitude. If you do… then perhaps you could learn,” Loki answered with a faint smirk. “I am pleased you like it.” It had been a long time since his ability to magically adapt his surroundings for comfort had been appreciated, and he’d forgotten how good it felt to provide for another.

“I do,” she affirmed. Then she waved her hand toward the magically created pillows. “Make yourself comfortable.” She shifted her own pillows and blankets around until she was comfortable. When she settled, she was a little surprised to see Loki lie down right beside her, despite ample space.

“I just want to be close to someone for a little while,” Loki explained. “Is... that okay?”

Skye smiled and shifted closer. He wrapped an arm around her and she pillowed her head on his shoulder. “It’s okay with me. Good night, Loki.”

“Good night, Skye.”

It had been years since either of them slept so peacefully and so well. But that night, they did.

#Daisy/Loki #Daisy Johnson #Loki #endgame spoilers #alternate timeline

19 notes · View notes

hennessystevens-udaku · 5 years

Text

My Bloody Valentine

A little twisted Love Day fic for my favorite rebel @thereturnofbadazz!

“I wonder how many lovers are gonna die today,” Aly’Sha said with sneer as she watched the news.

“What yo lil psycho ass talking about, Sha Sha,” Erik asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day. Why you talking about folks dying?” Kimora chirped from the other side of the living room.

“It’s also Purge Day,” Aly’Sha responds casually.

“You mean poor man elimination day,” Angel says, cradling the twins closer. Now that she was older, she didn’t see the point of violence as a means of “cleansing” the country of its sins.

“Yeah that shit’s stupid,” Erik agreed, flipping the station. “Just another tactic white folks use to eradicate black folks. Alright ladies, if y’all don’t mind, me and Mama got a date,” Erik says with a sly grin in Hennessy’s direction.

“Actually baby, I was thinking maybe you could spend the day with another wife. You’ve spent the last 16 Valentine’s Days with me, spoil someone else,” she says not looking up from her MacBook. She was in the process of scouting out new locations for her dispensary and wasn’t exactly in the mood to break concentration. Before Erik could ask which of his wives would be the lucky lady this year, Ryley stormed into the house, chest rising and falling quickly with anger.

“What’s the matter, Princess?” he asked from his relaxed position on the couch.

“Them white bitches down the street keep fuckin with me. I’m trying to be nice and keep it cute since I’m a princess now and shit, but they about to make Ryley Badazz come out of retirement!” Erik chuckled at her, loving how sexy she got when she was angry.

“Calm down, Ry Ry. Tell Daddy what happened.” He listened intently, blood boiling as she explained how the Becky’s with the stringy hair had egged her car, slashed her tires, and had been overall mocking her for the past week.

“Calm down baby. You’re a princess, don’t lower your standards for peasants.”

“That’s cute and all, but look at what they spray painted on the house.” Erik’s smirk quickly faded to a menacing mug when he saw the words ‘Killmonger’s a bitch’ spray painted in bright red paint on the northern wall of The Kompound. Without another word, he made his way downstairs to his arsenal with Ryley hot on his heels.

“How about we show them white bitches who run shit,” he called over his shoulder.

“What you mean, Daka?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well it’s Valentine’s Day and it’s also Purge Day, so how about for our date we show them why they shouldn’t fuck with the Stevens-Udaku household?” Ryley’s face twisted into a devilish grin as she gazed upon the various weapons.

Wanna play, Candy Girl?” he asked as he handed her the Swarovski studded M-16.

“Let’s play, Daddy.”

“Y’all sure y’all don’t wanna get in on the action?” Erik asked the remaining wives as he prepared for the night’s festivities.

“This is Ryley’s night, why you inviting other people?” Henny scolded from her relaxed position between Charlie’s plush thighs. They had all agreed to watch the events from the body cameras Shuri had installed on his and Ryley’s protective armor, Angel not wanting to engage in the sport because she didn’t see the point of senseless violence.

“You right, Mama,” Erik replied solemnly, looking over at Ryley. “My bad, Princess.”

“It’s cool, Fathead. Now let’s go murder some white bitches,” she says with a laugh. She was all dolled up in a pink and black bejeweled bodysuit with a pink tutu and thigh high Louboutin Frenchissima boots. On her head, she donned a pink headdress that matched her bodysuit, each piece made out of vibranium to keep her safe. Not like anyone would dare try to harm a Princess of Wakanda.

“Damn you look good enough to eat, Ry Ry,” Erik said as he admired her attire.

“Later, Daka. We got business to handle first.” The announcement sounded as the pair finished adjusting their masks.

This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when The Purge concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.

At the sound of the alarm, Erik and Ryley made their way outside to his blacked out Lamborghini Aventador with butterfly doors. For aesthetic effect, he blasted the psycho version of I Got 5 On It as he maneuvered the car down the street.

“Which house baby?”

“That one, that last one on the right.”

“Sha Sha, do your thing, baby.”

In an instant, the target house went completely dark and all of their protective armor was disabled, leaving them completely exposed to the outside world.

“How did you even do that?” Kimora asked Aly’Sha, whose face was buried in her iPhone.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to,” Hennessy answered for her.

“You ready, Ry Ry?”

“Let’s go.”

The pair exited the vehicle and slowly crept to the bay window that displayed the living room. The owners of the dwelling could be seen crowded around one another, a desperate attempt to protect themselves. Idiots.

“Sha Sha, do the thing.”

With another press of a button, the living room began to fill with tear gas, forcing the occupants of the house to run off in different directions, unintentionally aiding the pair in their sadistic plan.

“Time to go hunting,” Erik says as he kicked the door in.

“Aye, Vita,” Bast called out quizzically to Big Sis meandering in her lab. “Why you not upstairs watching Erik and Ry Ry turn up on the Beckys?”

Vita had a theatrical setup with a projector and surround sound. It was as if she converted her space into a miniature IMAX theater.

“Because, I have some unfinished business that's about to play out on this computer screen,” she explained leaning back in her seat, gathering her snacks, getting comfortable.

“What unfinished business?”

“Did I ever tell you the story of how I came to own Amazon?”

“Since when did you own Amazo-”

“See, what had happened was…”

He bowed before me, kneeling with great shame and humility. Once a proud, vain man now driven to begging. It's his own fault you know, this present state of duress. Often times when you wish to destroy your enemy you don't have to pull the trigger yourself, you only have to had them the gun and watch them blow their own brains out.

What made him a target, you ask? They were the vices he frequently indulged himself in; greed, lust, hubris, all of which led him to being an easy mark.

What were the bullets I used? His disgruntled employees, his gullible mistress, his betrayed wife, his disloyal business associates. Each pawn having been strategically used for my benefit and mine alone.

What pulled the trigger? He dared to insult me as if I were anything less than greatness. He'd the nerve to belittle my life's work as if I weren't a force to be reckoned with. I had just finished a masterful presentation of my future plans for my then budding tech company and as everyone else showered me with my well deserved praise he thought it humorous to describe my exemplary business model as “cute”. I could not let such a slight get away with impunity, a lesson needed to be taught.

Shortly after his billion dollar divorce when his liaisons with another woman were “mysteriously” leaked he tried to push his already exhausted workers even further which led to an international strike, that lasted for several months due to strikers being funded by an “anonymous” donor that helped them pay their bills at home and even finance ad campaigns to expose the heinous labor practices of the company, causing a severe decline in business. With sales and online traffic on the decline stocks careened further into the economic abyss leaving investors dissatisfied. Receiving inside information from an “unknown” source, they collectively decided to relocate their interests into another expedition… Mine.

That's right, my “cute” little business became a worldwide conglomerate seemingly overnight. And he could have shared in that wealth had he not crossed me. Now I, Davita Roberson, tower over him as he's become a hollow shell of his former self, selling what remains of his share in his dying company for pennies of what it used to be. Both his ex wife and former flame have found new loves that I helped introduced them to, his former workers are living more fulfilled lives under my employ, and I've blackballed all of those crooked investors because they couldn't be trusted.

Jeff will have to live out the remainder of his life buried in debt and regret, but who cares. The moment he affronted me was the instant he sealed his fate…

“And that's what happened,” Vita concluded.

With a roll of her eyes Bast couldn't help but ask,“You righteously decided to pull a massive company takeover because he called your business cute?”

“He was being passive aggressive. By calling my business plan “cute” he was downplaying it as if I were some child. He was belittling me and underestimated my capabilities. So bitch had it comin!”

“Aight aight, so what does that have to do with this little personal movie night you got going?”

“Well, Bezos couldn't stand being broke so he sold his body for a Purge Feast. He was right back to living his old lifestyle only on someone else's dime.”

“OK? That sounds amazing, what's the catch and what is a Purge Feast? Is he about to be gangbanged, what?”

“He's about to be eaten.”

“WHAT?”

“When a person donates their body to a Purge Feast they are provided a lavish lifestyle, they have to be disease free, drug free, given massages to ensure their tenderness and are put on a supremely exquisite diet of delicacies so that they're meat is undeniably sweet. Jeff has been fattened, and now is the time for the slaughter.”

“Ooooooh shit scoot over, bitch!”

The two women watched as Bezos was guided onto a giant chopping block placed on a stage. He was stripped bare naked then instructed to lay face down on the human sized cutting board. The executioner came into view wielding a great axe with a long blade, sharp enough to split hairs. The massive weapon was hoisted into the air then brought down upon the back of the former CEO’s neck. A clean cut, in only one swipe the head was severed and the blood gushed forth like the intense orgasm of a woman. The executioner continued to dissect the body as a flock of chef's assistants scurried to pick up the pieces while avoiding the swings. Once completed, the good was quickly prepared and presented to a dinner party that catered to the adventurous elites of society. As the soiree carried on, Davita took a bite of her own snacks, inhaling deeply, savoring the moment.

“Mmmm, delicious.”

“My bloody valentine, sweet comic Valentine. You make me smile with my heart,” Erik’s deep voice sang from the body cam. Charlie, Kimora, Hennessy, and Aly’Sha watched with glee as their husband dismembered one of the sisters, impaling her on the banister of the grand staircase of the foyer. So far, the pair had murdered three of the six members of the family and were searching for the patriarchs of the family. They passed the young boy’s severed head and the second sister’s torso on the way upstairs. They found the mother and father huddled in their shared bedroom, the mother clutching a bible to her chest.

“Why white people always turn to God when they about to die?” Erik inquired, more rhetorically than anything.

“P-Please don’t hurt us. We’ll give you anything you want,” the woman attempted to bargain.

“Bitch I’m a Prince, I don’t need ya money. I’m just here to give your family a lesson in respect. Now, I’ll only ask this once, where’s Penelope?”

“What do you want with my daughter?” the father asked with a little too much bass in his voice. Erik fired a warning shot to his right thigh before answering.

“I ask the questions here, Bob, but if you must know, the little bitch vandalized my property and harassed my wife. She just wants an apology, right Ry Ry?”

“Yes Daddy,” Ryley said with mock sincerity.

“She’s downstairs, under the staircase.”

“Say less,” Ryley said, skipping downstairs to the girl’s hiding place. She growled with anger when she discovered the spot was empty.

“That bitch lying, Daddy!” Another set warning shots went off upstairs, this time striking the mother in the ribs and the father in the shoulder.

“See, I was tryna be nice about this. I’m already gone kill y’all, don’t expedite the process. Where the fuck is she?”

“I’m right here you black bastard!” Suddenly the entire room exploded in flames as Penelope appeared with a flamethrower. When the flames dispersed, Erik stood completely unharmed with a twisted grin on his face.

“You really though you did some shit, huh?” Penelope’s face twisted in horror as she watched Ryley appear behind her with a metal baseball bat, a weapon she’d gotten from the younger boy’s room. With one hard hit to the head, Penelope was out. Erik and Ryley the drug the bodies downstairs, tying them up in the center of the living room.

“We are gonna purge today, purge today, purge today. We are gonna purge today and burn this bitch down,” Ryley sang gleefully as they exited the house.

“Sha Sha, cue the fireworks.”

In an instant the entire house exploded, lighting up the entire neighborhood like the 4th of July. As a means to commemorate the night, the couple made love on the hood of the Lamborghini, the screams of the dying family serving as their background music.

“Wow. That was hot,” Charlie said as Erik emptied himself onto Ryley’s bloodsoaked face.

“Literally,” Hennessy said in agreement. Suddenly, Ryley’s voice could be heard from the cam.

“Happy Purge Day, sluts!”

***************************

TAGS: @itsangeludaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @poosypoosy @vikkidc @panthergoddessbast @blackpantherismyish @dameshaemonique @sydneebleu @amethyst1993 @blowmymbackout @trevantesbrat @thadelightfulone @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @killmongersgurl @tgigoldie @supersizemeplz @wawakanda-btch @bidibidibombaclaat @calitexastrillgoddess @thehomierobbstark @mareethequeen @iamrheaspeaks @forbeautyandlife @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove

#the kompound #my shit #wifey fics #ryley badazz #ryley the rebel #killmonger fic

45 notes · View notes

wendyimmiller · 3 years

Text

Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest

April 15, 2021

Lovettsville VA

Dear Scott,

Spring! Etc. etc.

What a relief. I am torn between feeling overwhelmed each morning, and tearful gratitude. However, finding a new colony of native may apples where I winter-dispatched a thicket of multiflora rose may have soundly tipped the scales towards gratitude. Those mottled, delicate umbrellas took me by total surprise this morning – especially as they appeared to have been professionally underplanted with a carpet of claytonia.

Try not to pay attention to the honeysuckle. It’s a never ending battle.

Isn’t it ridiculous that I can hunt for, locate, plant, and cosset a Podophyllum pleianthum (which is now tentatively emerging near the front door), but when I rip out brambles by the roots and trample the soil to within an inch of its life, suddenly I’ve got April at Mt. Cuba happening on my northern slope? Perhaps I should give up all future expensive podophyllum acquisition dreams and just focus on what I’m apparently good at: editing.

My cossetted P. pleianthum – making a late-ish entrance to a party well underway.

I find it fascinating that each spring unfolds with its own unique rhythm – some mellow, others not so. This spring’s rhythm reminds me of an underground prohibition-era bar in NYC I used to visit when I was younger and less protective of my sleep patterns: slow build-up, exciting jazz riffs, a little blues, and no punishing jazz fusion. There has also been plenty of opportunity to sip a top-shelf G&T. All in all, worth lingering a while in the evenings and ordering a second.

Along with the common-as-dirt may apples I attach a few poor photos of my rapidly growing epimedium collection (minus my two faves – ‘Amber Queen’ and ‘Pink Champagne’ which are just coming out). Watching these delicate flowers emerge thrills me in that same way I used to bemusedly observe in other (more obviously nerdy) plant nerds.

This one was given to me as ‘Lilac Seedling’ from John Willis.

How we find ourselves where we find ourselves I honestly do not know. I was normal once. I assume that, to a certain extent, you were too. Yet here we are, sharing photos of epimedium, claytonia and hellebore while the rest of the world is buying a new Weber and three sacks of Weed and Feed.

Epimedium x versicolor ‘Sulphureum’ is my cheapest and most cheerful. When it is regularly dug and divided you can have a huge carpet rather quickly.

I enjoyed your Easter letter and its tasteless but nonetheless amusing resurrection analogies; but I harbor concerns that illustrating your gargantuan, drain-digging labors in such Kafkaesque detail could be very off-putting for the 20+ million who garden-dabbled in 2020.

I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job as an award-winning garden writer (groan) and purveyor of unending green happiness, but perhaps these people shouldn’t be made so soon aware of the inexorable, destructive effects of the humble water droplet?

Maybe it’s not an issue as 19+ million of them are probably reading The Spruce and haven’t yet moved on to the Rant portion of their gardening lives, but for those who have read ahead in the curriculum, truth of such magnitude could shake a few foundations. And damn that was some serious truth.

We only have these people by the finest of hairs Scott. Right now you should be YouTubing the immeasurable joys of seed starting with a fixed, but generous, smile upon your face and a sponsored product somewhere within arms’ reach. Let these sweet innocents find out about water, and its revengeful, spiteful nature later in the process when there is no escape from the gardening life they have worthily embraced. They can learn about roots then too.

Bait and switch my dear. Bait and switch.

This is a sweet little epimedium given to me by Lindie Wilson in Charlotte last year. Glad to see it blooming.

However, as the damage is now done, I will admit that for the rest of us, it is a relief to hear of your suffering. Moreover, it is a relief to hear of you jumping into a job of that magnitude. I wonder how many others are daily tortured not so much by the undertaking of large home and garden projects, but by their identification and the accompanying dread of them. I can instantly think of three projects that sink the heart in me, and that’s without trying.

Once stuck in, there are moments of pure despair (as you so richly illustrated), but there is also the knowledge that, for better or worse, you got started. It’s happening. What is worth worrying about must be solved, and what isn’t disappears into that dark and dangerous place one only visits at 2am (instead of that underground bar – sadly). All of the ambiguity and worry about the particulars is crystallized into certainty.

Cannot remember where this one came from – and no name sadly – but it is a lovely orange flower paired with a rather boring leaf.

I wish you luck and less in the way of roots. If this letter had an envelope, I’d slip you one of my precious lidocaine patches – or is that technically drug dealing?

With regards to roots, I have spent much of the last three weeks moving shrubs which are too big for the space where I planted them seven years ago, to spaces which will be too small for them in seven years.

An SI joint and my lower back have been so dodgy for the last year that I am forced to do this wearing a constricting belt that limits my ability to move without cutting off circulation to a major artery. The resulting lightheadedness then limits my ability to make better decisions about spacing – or at least that’s how I will look at it in seven years’ time.

It is a blow to one’s vanity to look down and see such a contraption strapped around comfortable and generous sweatpants where levis and leather belts with bronze buckles once dwelt, but if it gets the itea shifted and the lilac finally scrubbed out, I must accept my personal new normal while I undertake a hideous strengthening program that is right, and good, and boring as hell.

Speaking of itea and lilac, one mistake I am never (yes, I use that word precisely) making again is to put a heavily suckering woody shrub anywhere other than an area where I am happy to have it sucker (such as along my streambank).

This cuts down on a lot of options for mixed borders – but there are plenty of less enthusiastic shrubs whose rarer suckers still excite the frugal wench within me. Runners from my rugosa roses for example. I never grumble as they provide cheap, cheerful, and exceedingly welcome gifts for new gardeners who have never attempted to prune one.

Look at this lovely thing – Iris bucharia blooming this morning through the little gray rosettes of pilosella.

The lilac wasn’t my doing – it was here when we moved, and I have held onto it for sentimental reasons as I had a fondness for the previous owners, Lloyd & Jeanne. I even called it Lloyd’s lilac, when the truth of the matter is that Lloyd probably didn’t plant it, and if he did, didn’t put any more thought into it than what he was having for dinner that night. Still, it was one of few cultivated plants on the property, and I felt I must nurture it, renovate it, and tactfully avert my eyes as it became more matronly and less maiden-like.

I trust you will offer me the same consideration when we next meet.

But this is the year. Strengthened by Dan Hinkley’s admonition in Windcliff not to plant a “meaningless blob of nothing to fill a gap” and extrapolating from there to include eradicating those inherited monsters that do the same, I decided to take it out. With my handy battery-operated chainsaw it was the work of an Ibruprofen-laced moment, but now I am faced with this large stump complex. And my back. And another one of those large digging jobs whose contemplation brings me full circle to my points above.

Yet the job must be done. The space is slated for a Chamaecyparis obtusa that has gracefully grown too large for its current spot. In my defense I always knew it would, but wanted it where it was for that gorgeous five-year window of perfect height. You are a lover of trees so I know you know exactly what I am talking about. Trees go from small-and-helpless, to perfect, to too-damn-big the same way as children do – though thankfully they don’t have adolescent mouths on them.

Lastly, with the exception of the bananas, the tropicals are out of the garage and into hacked-together temporary cold frames for the next couple weeks. The spring has crept up on me quickly this year. And with the vegetable/kitchen garden undergoing a major re-do which will most likely take all season, I have not started seeds as I normally would.

It is exceptionally freeing and I highly recommend it.

I cannot get enough of this time of year once the claytonia start blooming. They are absolutely everywhere.

I have started many thousands of seeds over the years and I’m sure there are thousands more in my future, but I realize these days that I actually prefer the excitement of cuttings. It’s ironic to get excited about asexual techniques, but there you go, that’s middle age for you. Are you a seeds or a cuttings man do you think? You may answer freely – I promise that I won’t draw any moral conclusions (at least consciously).

Here is an unusual one (at least for around here) that sports pink flowers, rather than just pink veining and pink pollen.

I must stop before some horrible dystopian software alerts you that this letter is more than a “four minute read,” (thank God Tolkien and Tolstoy weren’t bloggers), but before I do, I can assure you that, yes, the word used to describe you in that email was indeed ‘treasure.’ The term has even been repeated and shared on Facebook, and therefore cannot possibly be considered misinformation, as apparently, they’ve got that sort of thing squarely locked down.

However, before you alert various media companies, shamelessly looking for yet another award (and you wonder why someone at work is being mean to you), I will pass on a wise bit of advice that I heard recently:

If you don’t let compliments go to your head, insults cannot pierce your heart.

Wise indeed as there is usually a hefty supply of the latter to negotiate in this life.

Yours,

Marianne

P.S. Please tell Michele she looked beautiful in that dress. Easter personified.

P.P.S. My long overdue author copies of Tropical Plants and How to Love Them finally arrived today! It’s a treasure. Possibly award-winning.

Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest originally appeared on GardenRant on April 15, 2021.

The post Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest appeared first on GardenRant.

from Gardening https://gardenrant.com/2021/04/dont-give-too-much-away-too-soon-a-letter-to-the-midwest.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

dailynewswebsite · 4 years

Text

Repatriating the archives: Lumbee scholars find their people and bring them home

Jeanette W. Jones holds the September 1957 situation of Ebony journal, which options the article 'Thriller Folks of Baltimore: Neither crimson, nor black, nor white. Unusual ‘Indian’ tribe lives in world of its personal.' She is pictured at heart, together with her hand on her hip. Photograph Sean Scheidt; writer supplied, Writer supplied

Following World Warfare II, hundreds of Lumbee Indians migrated from their tribal homeland in rural North Carolina to industrialized cities, together with Baltimore and Philadelphia.

In search of work and a greater high quality of life, they shaped distinct Lumbee communities. They introduced their meals – cornbread, collards, pastry. They introduced their singing and powerful work ethic. They turned enterprise house owners. They based church buildings and concrete Indian Facilities.

Their lives and contributions turned a part of the historic document and cultural landscapes of those locations, however over time, a posh set of things have resulted within the motion and displacement of the individuals themselves.

We’re Lumbee students Ashley Minner from Baltimore and Jessica Locklear from Philadelphia. We now have mined native archives looking for our forebears. We’ve discovered information articles, images, maps and even video footage documenting kinfolk and buddies who usually don’t know they’re represented in collections.

As safeguarders of historical past, institutional archives essentially have guidelines in place to control entry to their collections. Most of the supplies are additionally topic to copyright, and the rights are owned by the creators of the supplies or their employers. In different phrases, a photographer or the corporate the photographer was working for would personal the rights to a particular {photograph}.

Confronted with restrictions as to how the recollections we discovered will be accessed and shared, we ask: Who has the best to the archives? What are our obligations each as tribal residents and public-facing researchers after we discover “our individuals” in them?

Ashley Minner, Baltimore

When Lumbee Indians moved to Baltimore, they settled in an space on the east aspect of city bridging the neighborhoods of Washington Hill and Higher Fells Level. The blocks of brick row homes with marble steps appeared nothing like the agricultural house they left behind, however as different ethnic communities had carried out earlier than them, they made this place their very own.

In 2018, I hit the archives in earnest, anxious to corroborate tales shared by my elders about “the reservation” they’d shaped there of their youth.

They described a panorama intimately acquainted to me, the place locations I grew up – the Baltimore American Indian Heart and South Broadway Baptist Church – are nonetheless open and working. However their tales had been stuffed with names of companies and other people I didn’t know as a result of this space has been regularly reworked since then.

View of South Broadway from the Baltimore American Indian Heart. Photograph by Colby Ware for OSI Baltimore, 2014

One of many first and richest sources of documentation I discovered was the Baltimore Information American newspaper photograph archive. There have been forgotten photos of neighborhood leaders, legends and even kinfolk.

My instant impulse was to share the images by way of social media so our individuals might get pleasure from them as effectively. To share them legally, I wanted permission from the Hearst Company, which owns the copyright, which I finally acquired, months later.

Within the meantime, I bumped into Hannah Locklear, one other Lumbee lady from Baltimore. She cried glad tears once I confirmed her one of many archival photos I had saved on my telephone. There was her great-grandma, Margie Chavis, younger, standing on the stoop of the Baltimore American Indian Heart. Together with our recollections, photos from archives like these are typically all that stay.

A fellow researcher alerted me to a September 1957 Ebony journal article – “Thriller Folks of Baltimore: Neither crimson, nor black, nor white. Unusual ‘Indian’ tribe lives in world of its personal.”

A grainy print copy is on the market at Baltimore’s Enoch Pratt Free Library. I observed immediately that one of many featured images – taken at a youth social dance and captioned “Typical Indian lady” – was my Aunt Jeanette. Simply 14 years outdated, she was neither interviewed nor informed how her photograph can be used.

With nice celebration, the Ebony and Jet Journal photograph archives had been lately donated to the Nationwide Museum of African American Historical past and Tradition and the Getty Analysis Institute so they might be “broadly accessible to researchers, students and the general public.” However these archives aren’t publicly out there but.

Extremely, a duplicate of the journal itself was listed within the collections of a London prop store. I purchased it and introduced it house to Aunt Jeanette.

She rigorously opened the yellowed, outsized journal and delightedly discovered a teenage model of herself inside, together with images of different Lumbee younger individuals, new on the Baltimore scene, enjoying at youth facilities, sitting on stoops, lounging in Patterson Park.

‘Thriller Folks of Baltimore’ unfold, Ebony, 1957. Photograph by Sean Scheidt

Regardless of the hurtful context of the article, Ebony managed to seize a particular time for our neighborhood. These are among the solely photos we’ve of “the reservation” in its heyday.

Sadly, they’re out there solely to those that can wait an indeterminate time frame till they’re made publicly out there, after which navigate the paperwork of the establishment the place they’re housed.

Jessica Locklear, Philadelphia

In contrast to Baltimore, there was no “reservation” in Philadelphia. Right here, Lumbees settled in pockets throughout the town, but discovered methods to forge a way of neighborhood. Once I began my analysis, I doubted there can be proof of Philadelphia’s Lumbee neighborhood in any archives. I used to be mistaken.

Whereas looking the archives of the Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper, I discovered a narrative a couple of Lumbee man named Thessely Campbell who was set to star in a 1984 PBS documentary. Campbell moved from Fairmont, North Carolina, to Philadelphia in 1952 and located employment as a welder on the Budd Firm.

Acquiring a duplicate of this documentary was a prolonged course of. The closest out there copy was at a college library over 320 miles away. “The Work I’ve Achieved” focuses on Campbell’s retirement, but in addition paperwork Philadelphia’s Lumbee neighborhood, together with footage shot contained in the Native American Freewill Baptist Church, the place Campbell was a minister.

Screenshot exhibiting the Native American Freewill Baptist Church, the place Campbell was a minister. ‘The Work I’ve Achieved.’ Blue Ridge Mountain Movies, Directed by Kenneth Fink, 1984.

In 2019, I carried out an oral historical past interview with Campbell’s spouse, Helen. She wished a DVD copy of the movie to maintain and share with household. It was at this second I requested: What’s my obligation to go alongside materials that’s out there to me, as a scholar, to those that could not have the ability to entry it in any other case?

I felt strongly a duplicate of this movie belonged within the arms of the household represented in it. Asserting a declare of truthful use, I made Ms. Helen a duplicate, and I’m glad I did – she handed away just a few months later.

Extra lately, I stumbled upon a digital copy of the documentary made out there by the Web Archive, a nonprofit devoted to common entry of archival supplies. Nonetheless, “accessible” doesn’t at all times imply findable.

In sifting by means of numerous archival data, I often discover images of acquainted faces, which I attempt to share with these people or households. Most individuals are tickled to seek out they’re within the archives, and most get pleasure from having the ability to view and share photos they might not have discovered themselves.

Rev. Thessely Campbell and Helen Campbell. Photograph courtesy of Maria Luisa Rios.

Accountability in two instructions

The famend Lumbee scholar Malinda Maynor Lowery writes of being “certain by two units of ethics that overlap closely: A Lumbee’s obligation calls for accountability to the individuals who have lived historical past, and a historian’s accountability calls for accountability to the widest doable sources.”

As tribal residents and students doing public-facing work, we contemplate ourselves equally certain. We seek for “our individuals” far and huge. Once we discover them in archives, we really feel obligated to deliver them house to their households.

Understanding our individuals is not going to entry archives as we do, by means of libraries, universities and museum collections, we meet them the place they’re – of their houses, out on the earth, and on social media.

[Deep knowledge, daily. Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter.]

Repatriating the archives isn’t at all times about eradicating supplies from institutional care. It’s ensuring the individuals whose lives and cultures are represented in collections know they’re there, and guaranteeing they’ve the flexibility to view and share these supplies as they see match. When supplies are returned to their communities of origin, they turn out to be reactivated.

If we’ve the flexibility to present a lady – or an entire neighborhood – the chance to disarm a hurtful encounter of their youth, and to permit public affirmation of their magnificence and true historical past, we are going to. If we will return a strolling, speaking, preaching, singing father, husband and minister to his individuals, we are going to.

We’re devoted to sharing the wealthy histories of former Lumbee neighborhoods with current generations. Bringing archival supplies on to our individuals presents alternatives to work together with our shared previous – and that informs our future.

Ashley Minner has acquired funding for her analysis from the College of Maryland School Park, the Dresher Heart for the Humanities at UMBC, the American Folklore Society, and Alternate ROOTS. Ashley is an enrolled member of the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina.

Jessica Locklear works as a Area Scholar for the Southern Oral Historical past Program (SOHP). Jessica is a latest graduate from Temple College's Heart for Public Historical past. She acquired funding for her analysis from the Leeway Basis and Oral Historical past within the Mid-Atlantic Area (OHMAR). Jessica is an enrolled member of the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina.

from Growth News https://growthnews.in/repatriating-the-archives-lumbee-scholars-find-their-people-and-bring-them-home/ via https://growthnews.in

#Growth News

1 note · View note

uschi-the-listener · 6 years

Text

A Gratitude List for National Gratitude Day

I haven't written one in a while. That doesn't mean I haven't needed one. I write them when I feel down and need to remember that things aren't always absolute shit. And they aren't. I had an interesting and unusual Thanksgiving yesterday, at least, interesting and unusual for me. I spent it alone, eating a turkey leg and watching movies on Netflix, then going to my ACoA meeting in the evening, which is always great, but was especially great last night because there were only 3 of us, and I ran the meeting.

We had an old-timer, who has been doing this for years, we had a newcomer, who cried all through the meeting and shared very movingly, and there was me. I shared things I'd never shared before. The sharing was unbounded. In 12-step parlance, "sharing" is talking about personal stuff that is on your heart at the time. I mentioned struggles I've been having with loneliness and that feeling that I'm just not getting it right, and describing what I would want if all my dreams came true. Not sharing that here, right now. You aren't supposed to tell if you make a wish.

But I definitely ran a powerful meeting last night. I've been going there steadily for 11 or 12 weeks and am still struggling with the second and third steps. In my life, experience has taught me that trusting anybody or letting anybody else control anything is a recipe for exploitation and life-threatening disaster. So you can see why being willing to turn anything over to a Higher Power of my choice sounds like an attack. But I'm working on it and trying to be open to it. It's a difficult step.

But on to Gratitude.

1. I am grateful I'm working. The job is not my dream job, but I can do it, and what I do seems to be helping.

2. I am deeply grateful for my beautiful, funny, intelligent, compassionate, silly son, who owns my heart and is very gentle with it.

3. Dishwashers fill me with gratitude. I have spent most of my life without one, and now I've had one for several years. I know what it's like to do every damn dish by hand and what a disgusting nightmare it can turn into during flu season when there are extra dishes and they build up because you're too sick to stand for that long. Dishwashers aren't perfect, but they're close enough.

4. Cooling temperatures are such a relief; I'm grateful for the way the seasons change in such a way that we don't have to be either hot or cold all the time. It was a dreadful summer, here in the desert. I am sure my air conditioner use helped fry the environment, but I and my pets would not have survived the 127 degree Fahrenheit crap we had thrown at us this year without it. I'm expecting winter to be extreme, too, but it hasn't happened yet. It's still in the nineties here. It's ridiculous. But cooler.

5. I am grateful for the pain and suffering in my life, that seems to be, thankfully, subsiding somewhat. Why am I grateful for such awful stuff? Well, it makes me a more compassionate person. It helps me see everyone around me as someone with a story. It tenderizes my already soft heart. I hope I don't have to have any more of it because this last bout damn near killed me dead. But I have to be grateful for anything that makes me more myself, and pain and suffering do tend to strip away the non-essentials.

6. Always, always, I am grateful for the night sky. I spend time outside alone, just admiring the stars and the moon, nearly every night. It connects me to people who don't know I am connecting with them. It also reminds me of my dear late husband, who had a job once working for an astronomer at the observatory at Haleakala in Hawaii and learned a lot about stars, constellations, the moon, shooting stars, and satellites. He and I had so much fun, going out into the wilderness for a relief from the light pollution and watching the stars come out, and spotting satellites. We permanently dented the roof of one car we had from climbing up and lying on it. Neither of us was a lightweight at that time, and the roof was not expecting it. Anybody I go out with from now until the stars fall from the sky is going to be subjected to the night sky, like it or not.

7. I am grateful that even now, past middle age, I am still learning and discovering all sorts of new things about myself and about the world. There is no end to learning. Some of it isn't fun, but knowing things is important and sometimes a relief. It's amazing how our brains and minds can expand. Closed minds are not welcome here.

8. Of course I feel deep gratitude for my little pets, Miss Betty Anderson and Miss CarlyQ. They are always glad to see me and know when I need to be sat upon and treated lovingly. And it keeps me alive sometimes to have someone depending on me to scoop the litter and open the cans and refresh the water and arrange the little beds. Without Miss B and Miss C, I would have been in worse trouble this past few years than I had been. Pets look you in the eye and read your mind. They don't understand the reading, but they can recognize universal feelings of sorrow, happiness, defeat, and anticipation, among others. I am grounded in the basics around my little furry girls.

9. I could not survive homelessness, and I came close to it once or twice this past year. I'm a creative person, so I might almost survive it, and I did spend some time on the street at one time. Never again. I will die before I let that happen again. I am grateful for my small and cluttered apartment. I am gradually making it more like a home and less like a warehouse of sorrow and brokenness. This time next year it might look like people, and not trolls-under-the-bridge, live here. I wish I knew more how to achieve that, but I suppose I'll figure it out in increments. I didn't grow up in a house that made it possible for me to learn any of that. But I'm definitely learning now. There are no dishes in my sink, thanks to our friend The Dishwasher, who probably deserves a name and a title. I'll give it some thought.

10. I'm grateful that I see things. I am, of course, grateful that I have my sight, but you know, I see things that other people miss all the time. I see why people do what they do, and why they are who they are, at least somewhat. I see the hummingbirds perched in the tree. I see grasshoppers assessing me for danger. I see the way the flock of geese connects to each other and I see who's in charge and who is the goofy yearling who thinks he ought to be. I see little wrinkles and creases on the faces of people I love and know exactly what that means. I know who I am and there are things about me that I see very clearly that I hope aren't visible to everybody. I see. I look and look and I see. Now, if only I could afford to get my cataract surgery... everything in good time, right?

11. Typically, gratitude lists only include 10 entries, but I feel like I need a bonus here. I am grateful that I have this as a coping skill, and I've learned so many ways to light a candle against the backdrop of my natural darkness. I am by nature a morose and pessimistic individual. I don't have a lot of hope for the future. But I absolutely do not allow that part of me to control my actions. I recognize it and honor where it came from, but I prefer to live on the assumption that this is just my jaundiced and faulty view, that yes, life sucks and then you die, but you get to choose how you look at that. I'm a primate. My nature is to make a new nest every night. I get to decide what I take with me and what I leave behind. I am gradually eliminating pessimism from my life. It grows back, like a fungus, but I'm eradicating it as often as I notice it starting to take hold.

12. And another: I am grateful for my courage. Somebody complimented me on that last night. It always astonishes me when anybody notices. Courage is not something this current society "gets" at all. Courage in individuals is not encouraged. See what I did there? I am grateful for my mostly lack of cowardice and for knowing when enough is enough, most of the time.

So, comments, as always, are welcome. I would love to see somebody else's gratitude list because we are all so wildly and delightfully unique that we think things that don't occur to anybody else sometimes. I have lots more things to be grateful for, but this is enough for now.

#gratitude #thanksgiving #gratitude list

3 notes · View notes

getoffthesoapbox · 7 years

Text

[VKM Spec] Snail Crawling With VKM 12

Well, well, well. Color me surprised. Hino managed to right the ship’s course to avoid the iceberg after all. It seems we’re back in business, if at a snail’s pace, and a wide variety of options have opened up for us.

This chapter isn’t perfect, and it’s nowhere near the caliber of VKM 7 or 8, but it’s a good deal better than the previous three chapters, which were a nightmare. Depending on where Hino goes from here, VKM 9-11 may be reframed in a way that they become bearable upon a reread. Or they may not. Who knows.

(Raws and translations can be found here thanks to @alldempretties.)

A New Voice Speaks

A new point of interest jumps out immediately on the first page of the chapter. A mysterious new narrator, speaking in the past tense, describes for us a summary of Kaname’s early time with Ren and Ai. This new narrator makes a few assertions that seem to foreshadow future events:

Ai’s and Ren’s stories are filtered, out of consideration for Kaname.

The reality of their lives was surely much harsher than they let on.

What’s interesting about this is that we know Yuuki filtered stories for Ai, and now here is Ai filtering stories for Kaname. And as we know from Ai, filtered stories lead to hurt and revelation. This is foreshadowing for Kaname to begin searching for his memories, despite it perhaps not being in his best interests (much as Yuuki and Ai before him).

We yet again see that taking people’s memories from them and not giving them the full benefit of their experience is ultimately wrong for them, and that it leads to a lot of trouble.

This new narrator seems to be a person outside of Kaname, Yuuki, Zero, Ren or Ai. This person describes Kaname as “him” and Ren and Ai as “her children,” as if the narrator is telling a story about them to someone. What’s interesting is that this narrator disappears from the initial scene only to reappear at the end of the chapter when the new war is foreshadowed.

This new narrator is likely a character we haven’t met yet, one from the future after Kaname has gotten his life together. My bet is on either his future wife or his future child, who is recounting to her children the story of her father. This is intriguing, because it means the fates of Ai and Ren are now up in the air as much as all the other characters.

All in all, it’s a very interesting device Hino’s making use of here to both remind us where we were with RenAi and Kaname(it’s been 8 months since we’ve seen the three of them in real time), as well as hint that there may be someone new appearing in Kaname’s future.

Mounting Consternation

The first scene with Kaname and the kids is remarkably sparse on detail or new information. What it does have is promising, however.

First, this is the first scene we’ve seen where Hino hasn’t written the characters and the scenario to be cloying and sentimental. We’re moving forward from pandering to the pathos of Kaname’s return and his pining for a woman he doesn’t know and allowing him to broaden his horizons and see the world anew.

This leads to some very interesting events. First, this fresh Kaname is actually interested in the people and life around him, and is capable of being moved by the happiness of others. He’s also helpful with no ulterior motives, and he clearly wants to make himself useful in this new world. This new Kaname, as a blank slate, is free of all the pathologies of his former two lives. As a human, he carries no dark secrets any longer that would harm the people around him, and thus now he can at last begin forming true attachments to people in a healthy way.

But the sight of all this cheerful bustle is dampened by Ren’s revelation that this is one of the few countries where coexistence is possible. Kaname begins to sense there is a deeper, darker story at play that the kids are carefully filtering for him. Ren, of course, seems the most likely to want Kaname to face the reality, but Ai and Yuuki wanted him to live free of care. It will be Ren who likely is Kaname’s guide toward regaining what he lost.

Ren’s words nag at Kaname throughout the scene, and ultimately cause it to end where it does: in Kaname at last admitting the first strain of frustration with Yuuki for what she has done to him, and what she has taken from him. This is the first moment when Kaname is, at last, beginning to separate from Yuuki, and likely this momentum will pick up until he begins breaking into his memories and discovering the truth. This is honestly a great way to begin the process of Kaname becoming his own person and recovering from the unhealthy attachment he had to Yuuki--thus giving him, at last, the ability to move forward and find his own happiness like Yuuki wanted for him, and as she found with the love of her life, Zero.

The fact that Kaname is now beginning to be openly frustrated with Yuuki’s decision rather than merely idealizing her as he was in previous chapters is a great parallel to Yuuki’s own frustration with Kaname back in arc 1 of the original series. Kaname’s at last going to find out how hard it is to live without memories, and with the shoe on the other foot, he may at last begin to understand why he could never connect with Yuuki, and why he was wrong to do what he did during the original series. Perhaps this will at last lead to him feeling some regret for the lessons he didn’t learn, and vowing to do better this time with the gift she (and many others) gave him.

On top of all this, there is a new theme of “sacrifice” that was hinted at in VKM 10 and now is in full force. Candles represent the sacrifices countless people make in order to ensure a better future--and Kaname was not part of that. Likely the greatest sacrifices of all will come from the man who is so mysteriously “absent” from the future chapters--Kiryuu Zero, the very one who had to clean up Kaname’s mess in all the areas of his life to begin with. The fact that Kaname’s wish to know about the sacrifices cuts right to Aidou’s cure failing is clear foreshadowing that the person who makes the “sacrifice” is someone Yuuki has hidden from Kaname. All signs point toward Zero, especially with Yuuki’s wish for his smile to continue on from VKM 10. We shall see as it unfolds.

Fledgling Despair Spiral

As I anticipated previously, Aidou’s attempts at the cure are failing. This chapter isn’t clear as to whether or not he has access to Kaien’s gene samples, but given that Kaien is off running around the world, it ultimately doesn’t matter. If he has the genes, they’re not working in the tests. If he doesn’t have the genes, then it makes it more likely that he’ll have to move on to another subject if Kaien doesn’t get back soon enough--leaving us open for the Zero cure.

Aidou’s scene rides on the back of Kaname’s foreshadowing (or backshadowing in this case fufu) of the sacrifices and effort made in the past to make the happier future possible. Aidou’s one of the people whose effort and sacrifice is part of that future, but he surely will not be the only one, and the one to make the bigger sacrifice is likely whoever it is who ultimately will be the source of the cure.

Interestingly, Aidou intended to do his experiments on convicted criminals. It’s a bit shady to say the least, but hey, at least he’s not using animals. ;) Fortunately old man Muraki steps up to the plate to take on the challenge, only to have his arthritis cured instead of becoming human, fufu. At least the cure was a failure in a marketable way? ;) The lab can keep running if they sell that variant!

While ruminating on his failure, Aidou is drawn into a memory of an earlier time with Yori. Their interactions when Yori is older were too cute for words. He calls her “Madame” and picks on her, it’s so adorable. I’m not this pairing’s biggest fan, but even I found this scene endearing.

Yori gets Aidou to talk about his worries and asks him why he started his research in the first place. Aidou reveals some rather telling things: he’s afraid of what even he might do should there ever come a day when the anti-vampire weapons are directed toward him. He wants to give vampires and humans more options than merely killing each other.

Yori reassures him that humans are no different from vampires (she’s very like Ichiru sometimes) and that there are always going to be bad apples, but he’s not one of them. The reverie leaves him thinking that she’s the one who brings out his good sides.

As he awakens, a dark thought slips out of his mouth--why not hurry it all up and just eradicate humanity instead by turning them all into vampires? Although he quickly cancels the thought, this does much to establish where his mindset is right now--he’s beginning the fall to despair that Kaname had after he lost the Hooded Woman. We’re in the very early stages of that fall for Aidou. It starts with small thoughts, it starts with exhaustion, it starts with grief, it starts with loneliness, and soon it snowballs into a raging furnace of despair.

Aidou’s likely suicidal too. If he wants to “hurry things up,” that means he doesn’t want to live anymore. His research is his main goal in life--if he loses that, he’ll have nothing. This puts him in a dark place, and it’s a nice parallel to Kaname, which I’ll explore more in the next section. For now I leave you in momentary suspense. =P

Heartfelt Wish

I cannot believe how much Hino packed into this scene between Zero and Aidou. Goodness. But first, I must say how delighted my Zedou heart is by Zero and Aidou’s interactions this chapter! Zero’s reaction to Aidou’s heartfelt declaration was stunning, and it’s wonderful to see how deeply Aidou cares about Zero, despite his protests. But more on that in a minute.

An interesting parallel is set up by the first scene, yet again contrasting the difference between Zero and Kaname. Zero’s being heckled by the vampires--they call him demon and say he’s a murderer (despite the vampire on his shoulder being alive and well) as he marches through the street to deliver this particular prisoner body bag to Aidou’s door. The scene parallels Kaname’s past where the humans kicked him out of town. The difference, of course, is that Zero doesn’t give two shits for what those vampires think of him, while Kaname wanted to be liked. Zero’s an independent person whose sense of self worth doesn’t depend on other people, where as Kaname has a drive to be admired and appreciated by others. This gives Zero an edge in withstanding pressure that Kaname never had.

Aidou’s shocked by the state Zero’s in, but Zero just matter-of-factly listens to him and starts to move on. Aidou can’t let Zero go like that, and he begs him to come talk to him (OMG seriously these two are so cute, my shipper heart is full; Aidou’s totally a male Yuuki).

The first thing Zero does when he sits down with Aidou is check in on Aidou like the wonderful, endearing person he is. Zero is always so interested in the welfare of others, and he patiently invites Aidou to complain to him, which Aidou immediately does until he realizes he’s getting caught up in Zero’s pace, haha! Aidou shakes himself out and asks Zero if he’s getting into more trouble than usual. Zero nonchalantly says things have gotten better actually, but it’s just a bit harder to deal with the vampires now because they have a new rule of catching perpetrators alive and allowing them to stand trial.

What’s interesting about this scene is that Aidou clearly is just not having any of Zero’s shit. He even goes so far as to indulge in a melodramatic sigh, lol. Zero’s a little perplexed by the theatrics, but Aidou soon reveals what he’s really thinking: he asks Zero if he’s properly looking after himself.

These two panels just slay me. The subtext. First of all, the last person to have demanded Zero take care of himself was Yuuki back in Night 73! So Aidou’s phrasing probably really hits home for Zero, because it’s nearly identical to Yuuki’s. Moreover, Zero’s astounded reaction implies that no one has been concerned for his safety in years. This means it’s likely even Yuuki is no longer asking him to look after himself, nor is Ai. Everyone takes his strength for granted now, and yet here is Aidou, offering him all this care and concern, and it moves Zero.

Zero is so confounded that his first reaction is to pretend to be grossed out, because he’s just so unused to people worrying about him. Aidou immediately gets defensive and tries to cover up how much he actually cares by saying Yuuki and Yori would be sad (yet another slip up on his part and a sign he’s falling into despair because he has forgotten for a second time that Yori’s dead).

Aidou then reminds Zero that he’s more likely to die than Yuuki, and that he should stay by her side for a long time. Zero, touched by Aidou’s sincerity, clams up. This section is interesting, because it potentially hints at a few things:

Zero may be worried that he won’t be able to stay with Yuuki forever because their relationship isn’t going so well right now in general and he’s beginning to fear she really doesn’t love him and that the person she loves is actually Kaname instead.

Zero may not be intending to stay near Yuuki forever by this point (more on this later).

Zero may have other worries about something that’s going on in the past or present that we don’t yet know (I know this is vague, but it’s part of a theory I have that I want to deal with in a separate post since it’s a mammoth in its own right).

Instead of responding directly to Aidou, Zero thanks him for his concern with the sweetest, kindest smile because regardless of his relationship with Yuuki, Aidou reaching out to him and wishing him well moves him to appreciation. The other mysteries of Zero’s heart will remain locked for now, until future chapters.

Aidou’s wish for Zero to live a long life by Yuuki’s side has some potentially explosive implications for the future, given his own potential fall toward despair. If I’m right about the Zero cure theory, then Aidou will basically be placed in the same position Kaname was during the original series--here is a young man who is potentially the key to the cure. If Aidou (and Kaname before him) sacrifices this one person, they can save so many more people. Not only that, Aidou, like Kaname, has an ulterior motive for wanting the cure completed--both of them wanted to die to be with their beloveds and end their loneliness. The parallel is going to be striking when it appears, and it’s going to give Aidou a legitimate conflict of interest, especially given his own personal wish for Zero to live on with Yuuki. Aidou will likely be torn between his own wish of completing the cure as soon as possible and returning to his beloved and his other wish of wanting Yuuki to at last find her happiness with Zero. Who knows what fun things could come out of such a decision?

The best part of it is that unlike with Kaname, Aidou actually does care about Zero as a person and so his conflict of interest will be much more compelling should it take place.

Stagnation and Regression

We transition from the Zedou scene to Yuuki via Yuuki’s butterfly. The implication here is that Yuuki is spying on Zero, for unknown reasons which the chapter only illuminates via subtext. For now, it’s simply interesting that Zero is under surveillance, and much like Kaname before her, this is not for Zero’s protection--this is legitimate spying. The reasons for the spying we’ll get into during the last section.

Yuuki’s so busy spying on Zero that she’s not paying attention to the conversation she’s supposed to be having with Rima and Ruka. Rima, being the adorable pushy thing she is, goes after Yuuki for spacing out. Ruka tries to mitigate the damage, but Rima won’t be swayed. Rima asks Yuuki what’s going on with her and Zero.

Interestingly, Yuuki pretends not to know what Rima means and talks about Kaien and Ai. She confirms Ai’s back in bed (likely because what’s about to go down with Zeki would traumatize Ai, so Hino wants her safely tucked away), and she mentions that Kaien left a strange message after recovering (though his disease seems terminal, probably a slow terminal like a cancer or something). Kaien seems to be on the hunt for something, though whether it really is related to Juri or if that’s just what he’s saying to throw Yuuki off the scent, only future chapters will reveal (it may potentially be he’s looking for something at Zero’s request, who knows).

Yuuki then tries to cut the conversation about herself off, but Rima is determined to get her love gossip and she specifically asks about Zero. Yuuki deflects again, saying they’ve gone back to their original arrangement of living in separate houses, implying that they’ve gone back to before the “official” declaration from VKM 9. (Fufu, I feel vindicated--I knew they weren’t going to last after VKM 10. Likely Zero gave some variant of my Let’s Be Friends route theory, though perhaps not formally. Clearly he left the door open for things to change in the future. This also makes it more likely that he didn’t go through with biting her in VKM 10.) She also throws out a distraction tactic of Zero being weaker to alcohol than she is (likely ‘cause she’s a pureblood, lol, can’t imagine they get drunk easily otherwise they’d probably all be drunks since their lives are so miserable).

Rima’s not amused by this and insists on getting the scoop on why things aren’t progressing. Ruka steps in to mitigate some of the damage, and she asks if Zeki are intending to eventually go official. Yuuki looks down and says that whether they do or not, she’s not sure much will change about their relationship.

Rather than pursuing Yuuki on what she means here, Ruka offers Yuuki an easy way out of talking further--she says it’s hard to move forward with someone you’ve known for a long time. However, if you look at the expressions she and Yuuki make after this statement, it’s clear they’re not on the same page. Ruka’s little smile and soft sigh as she looks into the distance with lightly glazed eyes indicate she’s thinking of a person she’s fond of (Kain) who she’s happily considering moving forward with. Yuuki, on the other hand, looks down, her brows drawn in, a small, sad smile on her face. Yuuki’s reaction implies that for her there’s actual fear about her situation with Zero, and that she’s not nearly as confident that their relationship will remain unchanged as her words might imply.

She closes the conversation out with an interesting line. She says Zero’s her family and her partner, and that them being together is so natural no one can change it. This line calls back directly to Kaname’s own words in Night 93, that they’re meant to be together. It also is a callback to Kaname’s entire trajectory in VK, and to Yuuki’s own guilt over that trajectory. Kaname tried to change the outcome of Zeki and he failed. He could not separate them, no matter how hard he tried. And if he couldn’t separate them, there is no one who can other than one person: Zero himself. The very person Yuuki seems to fear is planning to leave at last.

The girls accept her statement and offer a little solidarity before the three part ways. Yuuki’s reaction once she leaves them is quite telling--she has a small downcast smile, clearly appreciative of the girls’ support, but still struggling with her own own worries and concerns.

Catastrophe Strikes

I won’t dwell too much on the Ruka/Kain section. But basically, the gist of it is that Ruka goes to meet Kain, and wherever they were meeting gets blown up (probably a restaurant). The explosion makes Ruka realize she needs to get moving with Kain, and she gets him to swear to marry her.

Now I’m probably going against the grain here, but I don’t think Yuuki saw this scene--she seems to arrive right after it ends and just as the paperboy type is beginning to scream about the vampire king. So I don’t think the Ruka confession has anything to do with Yuuki’s actions this chapter. What I do think the scene is intended to do is to be yet another parallel to Zeki--all the “true” couples get married first, then have sex and kids. So this is more reassurance for the readers that Zeki will be getting married in the future, as all the side couples do, as well as telling us the proper order of the relationships, which makes it less likely Zeki will be having sex before marriage (proper order).

Other than that, I don’t think the Ruka/Kain scene is much more than fanservice for that couple. The big component is the arrival of a new antagonist, who is hiding behind the nom de plume of “Vampire King” (Kaname’s title). Our friendly unknown narrator from the future seems to be under the impression that it was some shit disturber trying to rile up sentiment against the vampires, using the name as a scapegoat. The new villain may actually be a human (as foreshadowed by Yori’s comment during Aidou’s memory). Interesting implications for the future, that’s for sure!

More than Friends, Less than Lovers

The highlight of this chapter is, of course, the final scene, as Hino fully intended. The best part of this scene is that it is the first Zero and Yuuki scene since VKM began that has nothing to do with anyone’s feelings for Kaname. We’re finally moving toward Zero and Yuuki dealing with their issues, which I always suspected were far more numerous than just boo-hooing over a man Yuuki doesn’t even love romantically.

There is a lot packed into these few pages, and a lot of implication for previous and future chapters. I’ll break it down as best I can, but some of it will have to be saved for a future post.

First the scene in general, and then we’ll get into Zero and Yuuki’s respective potential head spaces.

The scene starts out with Yuuki telling Zero about her day, and then Zero gets ready to leave (likely to go home). Yuuki stops him and asks him to sleep with her every now and then. The two of them hold hands awkwardly in bed. Zero then says an interesting line about how it’s not that he doesn’t want to do this exactly, but.... and Yuuki agrees. This appears to be a snippet or continuation from a previous conversation.

Their body language here is quite interesting. Yuuki is neutral, with her eyes closed, facing the ceiling, a faint blush on her cheeks (I don’t think she’s having maidenly shyness--the blush indicates some kind of repressed emotion). Zero, on the other hand, is clearly uncomfortable, and his head is turned away from her in an awkward way that stretches his neck.

Some time passes, and Yuuki starts a conversation with Zero. The scene then transitions to parallel two previous chapters: the train scene from Night 87 and the post-coital scene with Kaname from Night 90. Yuuki turns in bed and looks at Zero. Interestingly, in sleep, Zero naturally turns toward Yuuki and his body language becomes more open and relaxed. So whatever is going on during his waking moments leaves when he sleeps.

As in Night 90, Yuuki looks at Zero’s sleeping face as she did Kaname’s before. And as before, she touches his face tenderly (only in the Kaname scenario she was considering turning him but stops when he wakes up). Zero doesn’t wake to her touch, and she looks at him with concern. Her expression here is quite interesting, as it is asking him a question of some kind.

The scene switches to parallel Night 87 and, just as before, Yuuki finds Zero sleeping peacefully next to her as he did on the train. And this time, instead of just attacking Zero and offering her throat, she bites herself, drinks her own blood, and forcefeeds it to him while he’s asleep.

Of course, he wakes, because someone’s shoving liquid down his throat, lol.

As to what this scene will lead to, who knows. But here’re my thoughts on each of the characters’ head spaces, and where I think the the scene will go from here:

Yuuki’s insecurities

Yuuki’s behavior in this chapter is full of anxiety, which implies quite a few things about Zeki’s relationship. We can be sure from her conversation with Ruka and Rima that Zero is the one responsible for the current halt in their progress, because Yuuki seems uncomfortable with it, despite her assertions to the contrary. We can also assume that whatever Zero said to halt the relationship, it was enough to get Yuuki to go along with it but not enough to help her understand. She doesn’t know what Zero’s thinking, and that makes her anxious and activates her abandonment fears.

We can also assume that Zero hasn’t been drinking from Yuuki since they got together, if not before (I suspect he hasn’t been drinking from her for years at this point, but for now we’ll just assume that it’s only been since they went official). The reason we can assume this is because Yuuki’s spying on him and is bothered by what she hears at Aidou’s place. Now, Aidou doesn’t say anything that should be particularly bothersome--he just tells Zero to take care of himself. What he does say, though, is that Zero’s been getting into trouble. So this means Zero’s likely been losing blood, which means he should be needing replacements from Yuuki. Yuuki may have been consoling herself with thinking that Zero didn’t need her blood simply because he hadn’t been getting injured lately, but now she has it confirmed that he does need it but for some reason isn’t taking it from her. This also will contribute to heightening her insecurities.

On top of this, we then have the scene where they sleep together. Zero falls asleep quickly and seems relatively unconcerned about Yuuki’s presence. If she’s already concerned about him not needing her blood, this will only add to those concerns because as with the train station scene in Night 87, he’s “unmoved” by her and doesn’t seem to want her. (For some reason she’s never understood that Zero has self-control of steel lol.)

All this leads to an inevitable conclusion: maybe Zero doesn’t really love her. Maybe he’s tired of her. Maybe he’s thinking of leaving her. But for some reason she can’t bring herself to ask him why he won’t drink from her, so instead she resorts to her old train station tactic of forcing him to move. I suspect her blood kiss here at the end of the chapter is a test for him--what will he do.

The good thing about all this is that Yuuki’s finally being proactive and starting to show us, the readers, that she is actually serious about moving forward with Zero and she does want him as a man in her life. Given her behavior in VKM 9-10, that was in question for the reader, but now we have it confirmed that more must have been going on and that, whatever she’s going through, her desire for Zero has not diminished. She also seems to want more passion from Zero, and so come hell or high water she’s going to get it one way or another lol.

Zero’s reticence

On the other hand, Zero’s side of the story is much more nuanced I think. I do believe we will now be shut out of Zero’s head as far as his thoughts (I think VKM 9 was the end of Zero-the-narrator and now he will become the mystery man, the goal to obtain for Yuuki and Kaname’s narratives). However, VKM 9 sets the stage for the reader to guess what’s going on in Zero’s head.

Given what we get this chapter, we can assume a few things:

Zero didn’t bite Yuuki in VKM 10.

Zero came up with some excuse to call off their moving forward that didn’t require them officially breaking up, but rather just resetting to before their official status.

Zero may be using work as an excuse to spend less time with Yuuki.

Zero may not be intending to live with Yuuki forever, as Aidou wishes, given that his response to Aidou is rather vague.

Zero clearly is the one holding back on them sleeping together, for reasons he hasn’t stated.

Yuuki doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on in his head.

It’s possible too that Zero wasn’t actually asleep at the end of the chapter, but given how his body language works, I think he did fall asleep (he’s probably legitimately exhausted from chasing criminals all day). Regardless, there’s a clear parallel between him in this chapter and Kaname from Night 90. Like Kaname in Night 91, next chapter Zero will likely put the kibosh on Yuuki’s activity and maybe give us more insight into why their relationship is where it is right now.

The nice thing about this scenario is now Zero’s back to being the unattainable one for Yuuki. He’s a mystery she has to unravel, rather than a doormat she can step on. Yuuki is always at her best when she’s actively pursuing Zero. If Zero has begun looking for a new way to revive Kaname without requiring the loss of the forge, he’s definitely going to want to keep that from Yuuki for now. But the way Zero reacted to Aidou makes me think he’s already lost hope in his own life with Yuuki and that he may feel the only way to really make things right is to get Kaname back for her. This also makes it more likely that Zero will be open to the cure, or alternatively to giving his heart to Kaname when they test the cure and it fails.

Marching Forward

From here, I see Hino beginning to ramp up the angst between Zero and Yuuki. Likely Yuuki’s new journey to figure out what Zero’s hiding from her will parallel Kaname’s journey to find out what Yuuki’s hidden from him. What they both find will likely change their perspectives entirely. I do believe we’ll now be able to see into Yuuki’s and Kaname’s heads, while we’ll be locked out from Zero’s. This allows Zero to become the narrative goal for Yuuki--obtaining him and her happy ending becomes the end goal of her story, rather than dying with Kaname (as has been implied by previous chapters).

The simplest trajectory I see for now (there is a more complicated, interesting potential one which I’ll detail in a different post), is that Yuuki and Zero just have a simple misunderstanding--due to the M/S bond, Zero is under the impression Yuuki will never be happy without Kaname, and Yuuki, due to her fears of potentially Zero falling out of love with her, thinks she’s losing him because he never truly loved her in the first place. The climax point for this trajectory will be likely around the Zero cure and Yuuki potentially losing Zero in order to regain Kaname, forcing her to finally fess up about all her true feelings she has trapped in her little box from VKM 7.

All in all, though, I’m glad to see Hino finally acknowledging Zeki’s got problems outside of Yuuki’s feelings for Kaname. Plus the Zero cure is more likely now with Aidou continuing to fail. ;) I’m looking forward to next issue’s chapter now, and although my love for this story isn’t completely recovered, I now feel more hopeful that I’ll be able to love these characters again once more in the future. =)

Until next time!

#vampire knight #vampire knight memories #vkm spec #vkm speculation #zeki criticism #zeki crit #vkm chapter review

78 notes · View notes

adder24 · 7 years

Text

Cure Te Ipsum - A review

For most fans of Person of interest, this episode from season 1 was one of the most standout episodes. It had everything from a relatable story that had you soon siding with the perpetrator to an ending that made your jaw drop. This was the episode that got viewers hooked.

Cura Te Ipsum carefully brought to light the real life difficulties, victims of sexual abuse as well as their families, have to face on a day to day basis. This particular storyline follows the story of Megan, who’s sister took her own life due to being sexually assaulted and having her claims against her attacker (Andrew Benton),dropped. Naturally of course she is on a revenge mission to bring her sister's attacker to justice, by any means necessary and it falls to Reese and Finch to piece together her plan before it’s too late. Yet as straightforward as it seems, the storyline throws you a few twists and turns to keep you on your toes, You are left guessing just who exactly they are protecting, her sister's attacker or are they saving her from herself? As Reese states “She knows what it’s like to save a life, not take one, it will destroy her”

Reese then takes it upon himself to try and be a confidant to her, as he follows her to a support meeting for victims of sexual abuse. He sits in as one woman opens up about her attack but as she describes what happened, it gets too much for Megan who promptly leaves, Reese quickly following behind her and as they talk away from the main group, it is then you get a glimpse into Reese’s past and an understanding as to why he has taken this particular case to heart. You see a glimpse of his Vulnerable side as well as the trained cold hearted killer.

Reese knows this man will not stop if he is not caught but he also knows that Megan won’t stop either as he unearths her plan to eradicate her sister’s attacker for good, putting Reese and Finch into a tight spot as well as throwing the story into another tail spin and it means Reese needs to call a favour from his asset Fusco in order to save Benton from certain death. However his plan is foiled, Benton is free once more and Megan starts to put her plan into action. Reese is forced to intercept Benton but a favour comes back to bite him in the ass and Benton walks straight into Megans trap. This is where the tempo of the story ramps up as Reese battles against time to save Benton and stop Megan making the biggest mistake of her life, all in the name of revenge.

You are then treated to a poignant scene in a cafe as Reese manages to get to Megan in time. He spills that he knows what she is up to and urges her to sit and have a cup of coffee while he calmly tells her what he knows about her and her plan, he speaks to her from experience when he warns her not to go through with it, telling her that taking a life in cold blood will kill her but Megan seems set to go through with it until Reese tells her from his experience, what will happen once you take a life. “You lose a part of yourself that matters the most.” In a way he is kinda reaching out to her here, almost saying “Please don’t choose the path I took”He then gives Megan the choice to go through with her plan or to let him talk to Benton but he doesn’t do it in his usual cold hard way, he is LITERALLY begging Megan to not go through with it, coaxing her to do the right thing by using the right words, telling her to let go and grab a second chance of life. He knows how hard it is for her not to fall into that trap of seeking revenge and walking down that dark path. He’s been there and the way the writers use the keys to the van, it is symbolic of what is unfolding before your very eyes. A man who once was about to give up on life due to personal tragedy, was now giving someone else a second chance. It is almost poetic! And when she asks “Who are you? Why are you here?” all he does is calmly says “I already told you, everybody needs someone to talk to” After those tense few minutes she sees reason and hands Reese the keys, leading on to the ending.

Reese tells Finch that he and Benton are going to have a talk but knowing Reese’s history and the man Benton is, you can almost taste the venom that laces those words. It turns the suspense up several notches and after a little subtext to the main overall plot, you are taken back to Reese and Benton as they sit at a table in an empty beach house, the waves calmly lapping at the shore as sea birds call out their greeting and Benton shakes off the after effects of being sedated.

The moment Benton asks “Where am I” is the moment Reese unleashes the killer within. The way his eyes locks onto Benton in a predatory fashion, the way the music emphasises that Reese has made his choice just adds to the suspense as Benton tries to make sense of what has happened. Reese informs him that the woman who had kidnapped him was sent away because “She’s not cut out for this. She fixes people, not like us, we break them” and then there is a cut to a gun on the table and it dawns on Benton that he is in serious trouble. Benton questions him, asks him what he is going to do with him, Reese calmly tells him he hasn’t decided yet as he takes his role as judge, Juror and executioner, asking Benton the question “Do you think people ever really change?” You get a sense that Reese gets some sort of sick pleasure as Benton is turned into a man pleading for his life as Reese inflicts his silent torture with his ice cold stare and unreadable facial expression.

To Benton’s credit he does try to call Reese’s bluff but the moment Reese reaches for the gun is the moment Benton rapidly back tracks on himself and admits he has done some things and crossed some lines but he assures Reese he will never do those things again. You can see it written all over Reese’s face that he is not convinced and that this is all an act to keep his own life. He makes a statement to Benton

“I could let you go. Because you know that for the rest of your life, that I'd be watching you. And if you hurt anybody, I'd stop you. And maybe you could change, and maybe so could I. But the truth is... people don't really change do they?”

And once again the suspense is upped another notch as Benton desperately tries to reason with Reese but it is clearly evident that you cannot reason with him. His mind is set as Benton is reduced to the sniveling sleazeball that he truly is and Reese can’t help but stick the knife in and give it a twist as he states “Maybe it's better this way, maybe it's up to me to do what the good people can't. Or maybe there are no good people, maybe there are only good decisions.”

Benton pleads with him to not make a choice he will regret but he is talking to a man who has killed plenty of times in the past. He won’t hesitate to pull the trigger although that would be easy, he wants Benton to suffer a little more, he asks Benton what he would regret more, letting him live or letting him die? as he moves his hands to the gun once more and shoots Benton that all too distinctive Killers gaze before finally delivering the killer line “Andrew, help me make a good decision”

You are then treated to one more shot of the two men sitting at the table before the episode ends. Leaving you wondering what exactly Reese did to Benton

This episode had it all. An intense story filled with twists and turns that was well paced,character development to the main characters, a developing season storyline that didn’t detract from the episode, a well orchestrated soundtrack, suspense, some thought provoking lines and a sensitive issue that was handled with delicacy.

It beautifully raised the awareness of those silently suffering from any form of abuse as it encourages you to speak up, to talk to someone because it is not a fight that you have to do on your own, there is someone there who will listen.

So my advice to those who wish to give Person of Interest a go, watch the first episode to get the jist of things and then skip to Cure Te Ipsum and watch a piece of beautifully crafted piece of storytelling unfold before your eyes, Your emotions will be tested, your heart strings pulled and your nerves frayed.

You are being watched....

@thursdayschild91 @jimcaviezelfan @johnreeses @colormeplease-time @omg-phoenixrising @savhcaro @sylvaine6ball @suesskatz @earthangelcaviezel @irrelevant2 @pizzadeliverypriest @doucejc @anurbanlcgend @handsomemeninasuit @mamahub @imo126 @kenobiwcn @mollusktwo @pinguiin-like @bigbunnimal @arrowsandangels @astolat @bonnie131313 @blogajworld @comtessedebussy @dxfinch @eyesofwitt @fetch-me-some @follow-voice @hallulawy @heike-251 @idinink @izhunny @jcjrfan @lionsassy @managerie76 @maninthesuit @musicfashionandscotch @noodlepunk @plink42 @prplprincez @rainiejanie @tipsylex @xlostlenore

92 notes · View notes

jeroldlockettus · 5 years

Text

Why Is This Man Running for President? (Ep. 362)

Andrew Yang supports a universal basic income (a “Freedom Dividend”), the use of “social credits,” and a White House psychologist. (Photo: Stephen McCarthy/Collision)

In the American Dream sweepstakes, Andrew Yang was a pretty big winner. But for every winner, he came to realize, there are thousands upon thousands of losers — a “war on normal people,” he calls it. Here’s what he plans to do about it.

Listen and subscribe to our podcast at Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or elsewhere. Below is a transcript of the episode, edited for readability. For more information on the people and ideas in the episode, see the links at the bottom of this post.

* * *

Hey there. Hope your new year is off to a good start. Hope you haven’t broken all your resolutions yet. A couple quick announcements. First: next week, we’ll be resuming our “Hidden Side of Sports” series with a look at the mental side of sports. But also: in a couple months, we’ll be participating in the famous M.I.T. Sloan Sports Analytics Conference, which means we’ll have access to some of the sharpest sports analysts, coaches and owners, and athletes in the world. So: we want your questions for them. Send us the sports questions you’ve always wanted answered, on any aspect of sport whatsoever — the weirder the question, the better. Our e-mail is [email protected]. Thanks.

* * *

Andrew Yang is not famous. Not yet, at least — maybe he will be someday. But let me tell you his story. He’s 44 years old; he was born in Schenectady, N.Y., a city long dominated by General Electric, the sort of company that had long dominated the American economy. But which, as you likely know, doesn’t anymore. Yang’s parents had both immigrated from Taiwan, and met in grad school. His mother became a systems administrator and his father did research at I.B.M.; he got his name on 69 patents. Their son Andrew studied economics and political science at Brown, got a law degree at Columbia, and ultimately became a successful entrepreneur, with a focus on widespread job creation. In the American Dream sweepstakes, Andrew Yang was a pretty big winner. But along the way, he came to see that for every winner, there were thousands upon thousands of losers.

The economist Joseph Schumpeter famously described capitalism as an act of “creative destruction” — with new ideas and technologies replacing the old, with nimble startup firms replacing outmoded legacy firms, all in service of a blanket rise in prosperity. The notion of creative destruction has for many decades been part of the economic orthodoxy. And it’s undeniable that global prosperity has risen, and not just a little bit. But Yang — like many others — has stopped believing in the economic orthodoxy of creative destruction. As he sees it, there’s just too much destruction; and the blanket rise in prosperity isn’t covering enough people. We’re living through what Yang calls “a war on normal people” — a war that Yang fears is getting uglier all the time. And that’s why he has taken to saying this:

Andrew YANG: I’m Andrew Yang, and I’m running for president as a Democrat in 2020.

Stephen DUBNER: I can think of a million things that you personally, Andrew Yang — with your resources and abilities and so on — could have done other than running for president of the United States. And yet that’s the one you’ve chosen. So why?

YANG: So imagine if you were the guy getting medals and awards for creating jobs around the country and realizing that the jobs are about to disappear in an historic way. And all of the solutions involve really a much more intelligent, activated government than you currently have. And I went around and talked to various people being like, “Hey guys, anyone going to solve the biggest problem in the history of the world?” And I could not identify anyone who was going to run and take it on.

DUBNER: So you put your hand up and said, “I guess I will?”

YANG: Yeah. I’m a parent like you are. I’ve got kids who are going to grow up in this country, and to me just believing that we’re going to leave them this shit-show that I think is coming and not doing something about it struck me as really pathetic.

* * *

The conversation you’re about to read is in many ways a continuation of conversations we’ve had in multiple episodes over the years. Episodes like “Is the American Dream Really Dead?” and “Is the World Ready for a Guaranteed Basic Income?” Episodes like “Yes, the American Economy Is in a Funk — But Not for the Reasons You Think” and “Did China Eat America’s Jobs?” You may want to give those episodes a listen for a deeper look at the economics involved. But first: who exactly is Andrew Yang? Years ago, he worked as:

YANG: A knife salesman.

DUBNER: A knife salesman?

YANG: Oh yeah, Cutco, I still know the sales patter.

DUBNER: Let’s hear it.

YANG: What’s really dangerous is not a sharp knife. It’s a dull knife, because then you start putting elbow grease into, and that’s when accidents happen.

DUBNER: So here’s how I would thumbnail your story: immigrant kid, smart, got a good education, tried a few things in the labor force, including high-end lawyer, then some entrepreneurship, got involved with a company that was sold. So you cashed out, then took the nonprofit route to try to inspire other people to become entrepreneurs in places where there wasn’t a lot of drive for that already. And then during that process you got exposed to the way the economy was failing in large parts of America. But then instead of just saying, “Wow, that’s tough. But I got mine and I’m going to go back to my coast and lead my comfortable life, and for the people who are not leading this life — I wish them well, but I’m out of here,” you disrupted your life in order to do something about it.

YANG: As an entrepreneur, I feel driven to try and solve problems, and this seems like the greatest problem that we face. And you think, “Hey, if I bust my ass for several years, I have a chance to potentially accelerate the eradication of poverty and helping my country manage through the most difficult transition in decades. And I think if I put my heart and soul into it, I have some chance of making that happen.” And then if you don’t do that, you must be an asshole.

When he was 24, Yang landed a job in New York at Davis Polk, one of the most prestigious law firms in the world.

YANG: I was making $125,000 plus a bonus of maybe another $25,000 or so. And I have Asian parents, so they were quite pleased with this state of affairs. And I thought, “Wow, this is really lousy job.” When I was growing up as a kid playing Dungeons and Dragons, I didn’t dream about being the scribe. I dreamt about going in the woods and killing something, which did not help my parents feel any better about my decision to quit the firm.

So yes, he quit what many people might see as a dream job. He got involved in an internet startup that combined celebrity and charity.

YANG: So we called it stargiving.com. And we got Hootie and the Blowfish and MTV and Magic Johnson to donate meet-and-greets with themselves to their nonprofits.

The launch of StarGiving coincided with the bursting of the dot-com bubble; the firm lasted just five months.

YANG: I mean, I was a very sad 26-year-old who still owed $100,000 in law school loans and had parents still telling people I was a lawyer even though I was not. And I joined another startup, and I was very worried that it was also going to go under. So I started throwing parties on the side as a side hustle. And then I also started teaching the GMAT on the side for a friend’s company. So I had three jobs during that time.

The job that stuck was the GMAT teaching — GMAT being the standardized test you take to get into business school. The company was called Manhattan Prep and Yang ended up becoming its C.E.O.

YANG: That’s right. So I personally taught the analyst classes at McKinsey, Goldman Sachs, J.P. Morgan, Morgan Stanley. And so imagine doing that for six, seven years and then seeing the country go to shit during the financial crisis. And then think, Well, I know why that is — because the smart kids have been becoming Wall Street bankers and management consultants while the rest of the country was getting hollowed out.

In 2009, Yang’s company was bought by the testing firm Kaplan, which was owned by the Washington Post Company.

YANG: We were acquired for low tens of millions. So I walked away with some number in the millions.

He soon left the Washington Post Company to start a non-profit called Venture for America, modeled on Teach for America.

YANG: Venture for America takes a recent college graduate, trains them with various business skills, and then sends them to work at a startup or an early-stage growth company in Detroit, New Orleans, Cleveland, Baltimore, a city that could use the talent. Then you work at that startup for two years, helping it grow. And at the end of two years if you want to start your own business, we have an accelerator and a seed fund to help you do so. It’s going to create 100,000 jobs around the country. We’ve helped create over 3,000 jobs to date, and dozens of our alums have started companies, some of which have now raised millions of dollars and generated millions in revenue.

DUBNER: So you said you hoped to create 100,000 jobs, and then you just said you’ve created 3,000 jobs, so that sounds like you’re a little short.

YANG: Well, create 100,000 by a certain date.

DUBNER: What’s the date?

YANG: So we had 2025 as our target date.

DUBNER: Okay.

YANG: So we would need algorithmic growth.

DUBNER: I gather what you learned about how the world worked outside of the coastal corridors and outside the Ivy League, and so on, was an awakening. Yes?

YANG: Yeah, it was for sure.

DUBNER: What was different in Detroit, in Pittsburgh, and elsewhere that you went, from what you imagined?

YANG: Well, so some of the structural force, and I’ll describe this — a company, it had a couple of very bright founders out of Brown University, and they got started in Providence. And the company starts to do well, hits its strides, doing a couple of million in revenue, and then an investor in Silicon Valley says, “Hey, you guys should come out here, and we’ll invest $10, $20 million in you. But you should really come here.” So then the guys say, “Well I guess we have to take that.” So that company goes from 100 employees in Providence, R.I., to zero employees.

DUBNER: And I can feel the mayor of Providence and the governor of Rhode Island thinking right now, “No, no, no, please don’t go.”

YANG: They were there. I mean the mayor — they were saying, “Please don’t go.” And the guys were like, “Well, you’ve got to do what’s right for your business.” And they went out to Silicon Valley and now the company has 100 employees in San Francisco. It becomes this really unfortunate dynamic that if you are an entrepreneur who’s succeeding in a place like Detroit or Providence or St. Louis, the goal is to get sucked up to the big leagues and wind up in San Francisco or Boston or New York.

DUBNER: But the other part is that what we used to think of as the backbone jobs of this country, the nature of that is changing really, really fast, due to technology and particularly automation. How much of that were you starting to see up close, and how surprising was that to you?

YANG: Yeah, so my thesis was that if you started a tech company in a place like Detroit that it would create additional jobs in that community that were not necessarily skilled jobs. But what I learned was that these companies, in order to be successful, did not need to hire huge numbers of people. That right now, the way businesses grow is that businesses grow lean and mean. They’re not going to hire the thousands of employees that industrial companies used to employ in a place like Detroit or Cleveland or St. Louis.

And it became clear to me that as much as I was excited about and proud of the work I was doing, it felt like I was pouring water into a bathtub that had a giant hole ripped in the bottom. Because we’re blasting away hundreds of thousands of retail jobs, call-center jobs, food-service jobs, eventually truck-driving jobs. And so my army of entrepreneurs, doing incredible work, starting companies that might employ 20, 30, 40 people, was not going to be a difference-maker in the context where that community was going to lose 20, 30, 40,000 retail jobs, call-center jobs, transportation jobs, etc. And I was horrified. I was flying back and forth being like, “What the hell are we doing? We are blasting communities to dust and then pretending like we’re not and pretending like it’s their fault, and pretending that somehow it’s unreasonable to be upset about your way of life getting destroyed.”

I had a wakeup call, a reckoning as you said. But then when Donald Trump became president in 2016 I was convinced that the reason why he won the presidency is that we automated away four million manufacturing jobs in Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri. And we’re about to triple down on that by blasting away millions of retail jobs, call-center jobs, fast-food jobs, truck-driving jobs.

David AUTOR: I think if we had realized how traumatic the pace of change would have been, we would have at a minimum had much better policies in place to assist workers in communities that suffered these very severe and immediate consequences.

That’s the M.I.T. labor economist David Autor from our 2017 episode “Did China Eat America’s Jobs?”

AUTOR: And we might have tried to moderate the pace at which it occurred. And we also had a huge trade deficit and that meant we simply did a lot less manufacturing. So that meant that workers had to make a tougher transition out of manufacturing, into something altogether new. And I think that upped the challenge.

I think the other thing that we have to recognize, and that economists have tended not to emphasize, is that jobs aren’t purely income. They are part of identity. They structure people’s lives. They give them a purpose and a social community and a sense of relevance in the world. And I think that is a lot of the frustration that we see in manufacturing-intensive areas. And I think that that’s costly even beyond the direct financial costs.

It’s been tempting, especially from a political view, to blame all this job loss on global trade, immigrant labor, and offshoring. But Autor and most other economists agree that the much larger driver of job loss is technology and automation in particular.

YANG: So we automated away 4 million manufacturing jobs.

Back to Andrew Yang.

YANG: This is like the auto-manufacturing plants, a lot of the even consumer-goods, like furniture manufacturing in North Carolina, a lot of that stuff has gotten automated away. Now, I studied economics. And according to my economics textbook, those displaced workers would get retrained, re-skilled, move for new opportunities, find higher productivity work, the economy would grow. So everyone wins. The market, invisible hand has done its thing.

So then I said, “Okay, what actually happened to these four million manufacturing workers?” And it turns out that almost half of them left the workforce and never worked again. And then half of those that left the workforce then filed for disability, where there are now more Americans on disability than work in construction, over 20 percent of working-age adults in some parts of the country.

DUBNER: So the former manufacturing workers, a lot of them are on disability a lot of them are also especially if they’re younger men, they’re spending 25–40 hours a week playing video games.

YANG: Yeah so it did not say in my textbook, half of them will leave the workforce never to be heard from again. Half of them will file for disability and then another significant percentage will start drinking themselves to death, start committing suicide at record level, get addicted to opiates to a point where now eight Americans die of opiates every hour.

So when you say, “Am I for automation and artificial intelligence and all these fantastic things?” of course I am. I mean, we might be able to do things like cure cancer or help manage climate change more effectively. But we also have to be real that it is going to displace millions of Americans. People are not infinitely adaptable or resilient or eager to become software engineers, or whatever ridiculous solution is being proposed. And it’s already tearing our country apart by the numbers, where our life expectancy has declined for the last two years because of a surge in suicides and drug overdoses around the country.

None of this was in my textbook. But if you look at it, that’s exactly what’s happening. The fantasists — and they are so lazy and it makes me so angry, because people who are otherwise educated literally wave their hands and are like, “Industrial Revolution, 120 years ago. Been through it before,” and, man, if someone came into your office and pitched you an investment in a company based on a fact pattern from 120 years ago, you’d freakin’ throw them out of your office so fast.

The Industrial Revolution is a textbook example of creative destruction. Old technologies giving way to new; the rising tide lifting all boats. But history doesn’t actually happen that smoothly …

YANG: If you look at the Industrial Revolution, there was massive social change. Labor unions were originated in 1886 to start protesting for rights. There were massive riots that led to dozens of deaths and caused billions of dollars’ worth of damage that led to Labor Day becoming a holiday. Universal high school got implemented in 1911 in response to all of these changes. And it was a tumultuous time. I mean there was a whiff of revolution the whole time. And according to Bain, this labor-force displacement, this time, the fourth Industrial Revolution, is going to be three to four times faster and more vicious than that Industrial Revolution was.

So even for those lazy-ass people who are just like, “We’ve been through this before, Industrial Revolution,” be like, “Well, the Industrial Revolution was hellacious and it’s going to be three to four times worse according to Bain, who presumably you respect because they’re good at figuring this stuff out.” I mean if you look at government-funded retraining programs, the efficacy level, according to independent studies, is between 0 and 15 percent. And only 10 percent of workers would even qualify for these programs anyway. So we’re talking about a solution that will apply to between 1 and 2 percent of displaced workers. And that’s the kind of lazy crap that people are putting out there as a solution.

DUBNER: So if a revolution happens, how does it start, and what’s it look like?

YANG: So to me the rubber hits the road with the truck drivers. I mean there are 3.5 million truck drivers in this country, only 13 percent of them are unionized. The odds of there being a collective negotiation are very low. Eighty-seven percent of them are part of small firms of let’s call it 20 to 30 truckers, and 10 percent of them own their own trucks.

So think about that. If you borrow tens of thousands of dollars to be your own boss and be an entrepreneur and then your truck cannot compete against a robot truck that never stops — the odds then of these truckers showing up at a state capitol saying, “Fuck this, let’s get 30 guys together with our trucks and our guns” and show up and protest the automation of their jobs. So we’re disintegrating by the numbers. You can see it in our political and social dysfunction. Expecting that disintegration process to be gentle would be ignoring history.

DUBNER: Well even though revolutions do happen and armed violent revolutions obviously have happened, most bold predictions turn out to be wildly wrong. And usually there’s a lot less deviance from the past than predictors predict. So what makes you think you’re not wrong on this one?

YANG: I don’t know thousands of truck drivers, but I do know some. And they do not strike me as the sort who will just shrug and say, “Okay, I guess that was a good run. I’m going to go home now and figure out what job is there for someone who’s a 50-year-old former truck driver.”

But you also are going to see call-center workers, fast-food workers, retail workers — I mean there are 8.8 million people working in retail in this country. The average retail worker is a 39-year-old woman with a high-school degree who makes $11 to $12 an hour. When 30 percent of malls close in the next four years, what is their next opportunity going to be? So we have to start being honest about what’s happening where the market does not care about unemployed cashiers or truck drivers or fast-food workers.

And the biggest issue to me is that we’re measuring economic value in a very narrow, archaic way. We invented G.D.P. almost 100 years ago during the Great Depression. The government’s looking around saying, “Things are going really badly, we need a number for this.” And then Simon Kuznets comes up with G.D.P. and says a few things: He says we should not use this as a measurement for national well-being because it’s really bad for that. We should include parenthood and motherhood in the calculation because it adds so much value. And we should not include national defense spending in the calculation because—

DUBNER: If I remember my history, all three of those were ignored then, yes?

YANG: Yes, yes, yes. We’re like, “That’s great, Simon.” And now it’s our end-all, be-all. My wife is at home with our two boys right now, one of whom is on the autism spectrum. And what is her work valued at?

DUBNER: I’m guessing $0.

YANG: Yeah, about $0. And I know that she’s working harder than I am and the work she is doing is more important.

DUBNER: So your wife doesn’t really factor into G.D.P. In fact, she’s probably kind of a drain on it really, right? Because she could be out there where there’s opportunity cost of her not working.

YANG: She might be able to be a management consultant somewhere and that would be a much more valuable use of her—

DUBNER: So management consultants and the finance industry, financial services, banking, real estate. You argue that many of the most remunerative occupations in America are rent-seeking activities. Rent-seeking as economists use it to describe, basically, extracting value from transactions without really adding value. And you argue that many of the most beneficial-for-society jobs — teaching, nurturing, caring, creating, etc. — are the least remunerative jobs. How can you rail against that disparity while also wanting to bask in the benefits of the capitalism that set up those incentives?

YANG: Capitalism is a wonderful, magical, powerful thing. But it optimizes for capital efficiency and capital gains above all else, really. And that worked well for a long time, because in order for capital efficiency, workers needed to benefit, the consumer economy needed to benefit, the middle class needed to benefit. It’s like Henry Ford and his, “How can my workers buy my car?” But we’re now at a point where Ford does not need those humans to build that car and they can have markets all over the place and don’t really care what’s going on in their own backyard.

There are just these big changes afoot, and the question is how we’re going to manage them as a country. And that’s what I’m trying to answer. That’s why I’m running for president.

* * *

Until recently, Andrew Yang was running Venture for America, a non-profit that tries to persuade young, would-be Wall Streeters to launch startups in places like Cleveland, Baltimore, Detroit, and St. Louis. In 2014, he published a book about this effort; it was called Smart People Should Build Things. While the book pointed out the need for a dramatic overhaul of the American economy, it was for the most part an optimistic book. Last year, Yang published another book, called The War on Normal People, and it is not remotely optimistic. He argues that the American economy has failed most Americans, and that the American political class has failed them again by refusing to focus on the underlying fault lines in the economy.

This collapse in Andrew Yang’s optimism is what led him to run for President. He’s already been to Iowa and New Hampshire several times but, let’s be honest: he’s a very long shot in what’s expected to be a very crowded field. Let’s use Twitter followers as a proxy for the viability of some other possible Democratic candidates. Joe Biden has 3 million followers; Cory Booker, 4 million; Elizabeth Warren, 4.7 million; Bernie Sanders, 9 million. Mike Bloomberg has 2 million Twitter followers and over 40 billion dollars. Andrew Yang, meanwhile, has raised about $600,000, and has roughly 27,000 Twitter followers. But he also has ideas that he thinks will compensate. There’s one idea in particular that he’s banking on.

YANG: My first big policy is the freedom dividend, a policy where every American adult between the ages of 18 and 64 gets $1,000 a month, free and clear, no questions asked.

DUBNER: So the freedom dividend is your phrase for what most of us know as a universal basic income, yes?

YANG: It’s a rebrand of “universal basic income” because it tests much better with Americans with the word “freedom” in it.

DUBNER: Right, as nomenclature. The idea is the same.

YANG: So “universal basic income” tests great with about half the country. And then the other half of the country do not like it.

DUBNER: Because…

YANG: Because there’s—

DUBNER: It’s got welfare connotations?

YANG: Something along those lines. We tested a bunch of names and then when you had the word “freedom” in it, then all of a sudden testing shot up among self-identified conservatives. They hated “universal basic income,” hated “prosperity dividend,” all of a sudden “freedom dividend” is like “ding ding ding!”

DUBNER: What about progressives, liberals, Democrats?

YANG: Progressives, liberals, Democrats liked it no matter what the name was.

DUBNER: What were some of the other names that didn’t work?

YANG: “Citizens’ dividend,” “future dividend,” “prosperity dividend.” We had a lot of dividends.

DUBNER: I think of a dividend as a payout on an investment. What does it mean in this case?

YANG: Well, it’s a payout to ownership and we are the owners and shareholders of this, the most wealthy and advanced society in the history of the world. So this is a dividend for us. And there’s nothing stopping a majority of shareholders, a majority of citizens, from voting themselves a dividend. It’s been law in Alaska and it’s wildly popular in a deeply conservative state, where a Republican governor said, “Hey, who would you rather get the oil money: the government, who’s just going to screw it up, or you, the people of Alaska?” And the people of Alaska now love it, wildly popular, has created thousands of jobs, has improved children’s health and nutrition, has lowered income inequality, and it’s untouchable through many different regimes.

DUBNER: The Alaska dividend comes from oil revenues from the state, whereas the freedom dividend that would go to every person in the U.S. would be funded how?

YANG: So the headline cost of this is $2.4 trillion, which sounds like an awful lot. For reference, the economy is $19 trillion, up $4 trillion in the last 10 years. And the federal budget is $4 trillion. So $2.4 trillion seems like an awfully big slug of money. But if you break it down, the first big thing is to implement a value-added tax, which would harvest the gains from artificial intelligence and big data from the big tech companies that are going to benefit from it the most.

So we have to look at what’s happening big-picture, where who are going to be the winners from A.I. and big data and self-driving cars and trucks? It’s going to be the trillion-dollar tech companies. Amazon, Apple, Google. So the big trap we’re in right now is that as these technologies take off, the public will see very little in the way of new tax gains from it. Because if you look at these big tech companies — Amazon’s trick is to say, “Didn’t make any money this quarter, no taxes necessary.” Google’s trick is to say, “It all went through Ireland, nothing to see here.” Even as these companies and the new technologies soak up more and more value and more and more work, the public is going to go into increasing distress.

So what we need to do is we need to join every other industrialized country in the world and pass a value-added tax which would give the public a slice, a sliver of every Amazon transaction, every Google search. And because our economy is so vast now at $19 trillion, a value-added tax at even half the European level would generate about $800 billion in value.

Now, the second source of money is that right now we spend almost $800 billion on welfare programs. And many people are receiving more than $1,000 in current benefits. So, we’re going to leave all the programs alone. But if you think $1,000 cash would be better than what you’re currently receiving, then you can opt in and your current benefits disappear. So that reduces the cost of the freedom dividend by between $500 and $600 billion.

The great parts are the third and fourth part. So if you put $1,000 a month into the hands of American adults who — right now, 57 percent of Americans can’t pay an unexpected $500 bill — they’re going to spend that $1,000 in their community on car repairs, tutoring for their kids, the occasional night out. It’s going to go directly into the consumer economy. If you grow the consumer economy by 12 percent, we get $500 billion in new tax revenue.

And then the last $500 billion or so we get through a combination of cost savings on incarceration, homelessness services, health care. Because right now we’re spending about $1 trillion on people showing up in emergency rooms and hitting our institutions. So we have to do what good companies do, which is invest in our people.

DUBNER: So what persuades you that that number, $2.4 trillion, could even be close to justified through the menu of savings that you just described? I guess more broadly, why should someone believe that this Democratic-inspired version of higher taxes — or new taxes, with a V.A.T. — and more income redistribution, why should someone believe that any more than Democrats disbelieve the Republicans’ idea of lower taxes and trickle-down economics?

YANG: Oh man. I mean, if you put $1,000 into the hands of a struggling American, it’s going to make a much bigger difference not just to that person but it’s also going to go back into the economy. If you give a wealthy person $1,000 they wouldn’t even notice. You could just slap it into their account and it would be a non-event. Everyone knows that putting money into the hands of people that would actually use it is going to be much more effective at strengthening our economy and society.

DUBNER: One easy argument against a U.B.I. is that if you give everyone a dividend like you’re proposing, $1,000 a month per person, all that new money in the economy will cause the kind of inflation that will render that $1,000 much less powerful. What’s your argument against that?

YANG: Yeah, so I looked into the causes of inflation that are making Americans miserable right now, and they are not in consumer goods like media or clothing or electronics.

DUBNER: Those are all still getting much cheaper.

YANG: Yeah, and a lot of that is being made more efficient by technology and supply chains and everything else. The three things that are making Americans miserable in terms of inflation are housing, education, and health care. And each of those is being driven by something other than purchasing power.

Housing is being driven by the fact in some markets people feel like they need to live in let’s say New York or Seattle or San Francisco to be able to access certain opportunities and then there’s not much flexibility in terms of their ability to commute like a long distance. Education, it’s because college has very sadly gotten two-and-a-half times more expensive even though it has not gotten two-and-a-half times better. And then the third is health care, which is dysfunctional because of a broken set of incentives and the fact that individuals aren’t really paying in a marketplace.

So if you put $1,000 into the hands of Americans, it’s actually going to help them manage those expenses much better. But it’s not going to cause prices to skyrocket, because you can’t have every vendor colluding with every other vendor to raise prices. And there’s still going to be price sensitivity among every consumer and competition between firms.

AUTOR: I think people should have a guaranteed minimum income.

That, again, is the M.I.T. economist David Autor.

AUTOR: Essentially, our system of income distribution is primarily based on the scarcity of labor, right, the most valuable asset you own is your human capital. And if all of a sudden, there was a machine that could do exactly what you did it wouldn’t be clear what skills would you sell to the market.

The idea of a universal basic income has been around for a long time, and you might be surprised by the political diversity of its supporters. In the 18th century, founding father Thomas Paine argued for a universal payout, representing our collective share of America’s natural resources. In the 20th century, the economist Milton Friedman pushed for a different version, called a negative income tax. Then and now, there is a common objection:

Evelyn FORGET: If you give people money for nothing, why won’t they just quit their jobs?

The economist Evelyn Forget studied the effects of a small Canadian experiment that paid out a universal income. Her finding?

FORGET: The finding was that primary earners really don’t reduce the number of hours they work very much when you offer a guaranteed annual income.

YANG: A neuroscientist in Seattle said something to me that really stuck with me. He said, “The enemy of universal basic income is the human mind.” And what he meant by that is that people are programmed for resource scarcity. They think, “Hey, there is not enough to go around. If you get it, I don’t get it. And then if we all get it, it’s somehow going to harm us.” And that’s what we have to overcome. We have to overcome this knee-jerk sense of scarcity that is baked into, in many ways, the way we’re trained to perceive value in money.

So that’s big policy No. 1.

Alright, and what’s big policy No. 2 for would-be President Yang?

YANG: No. 2 is digital social credits.

Which are what?

YANG: Digital social credits are a new way to reward behaviors that we need more of in society. So right now, the monetary market does not recognize things that we know are crucial to humanity, like caregiving and raising children, volunteering in the community, arts and creativity, journalism, environmental sustainability. We’re getting less and less of those things because the market does not care about them. What I’m proposing is we create a new currency that then maps to various activities that we want to see more of.

DUBNER: Give me a for instance of how it would work. Let’s pretend that I am a 58-year-old laid-off carpenter. Maybe you, President Yang, are already giving me a freedom dividend, which I appreciate. So talk to me about what digital social credits would do for me and how it would actually work.

YANG: Right. So you get a message on your phone saying, “Hey, a neighbor has had a shelf break and they could use some help repairing it.” And then you click on your phone and say, “Yeah, I’ll do that.” Then you drive over, repair the shelf, and then the person thanks you, gives you a hug. Takes a picture of it. And then you then get this digital social credit. Let’s say call it 300 points. So you have these 300 points and you’re like, “Okay that’s good.”

And then you get another ping, it’s saying, “Hey, your neighbor needs a ride and they don’t have a vehicle,” and you do. So you give them a ride and then you get some more points and then at the end of the week you say, “You know what, if I go to Cabela’s, I can trade those points for hunting gear or camping gear. I could use it to go to the local ballgame.”

DUBNER: Okay. And then the vendors who are giving their goods or services to you for those social credits, what did they do with the social credits?

YANG: They can take the social credits and go to the government and then the government can exchange it for money.

DUBNER: And what’s funding the money for the social credits from the vendors?

YANG: So, the U.S. government would be backing it, or foundations or various companies, because if you are a company you respond to this. I mean you’d enjoy the heck out of it and it would drive business to your establishments. But the great thing about this is you could induce hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of social activity at a small fraction of the cost. Because right now if I have 100,000 American Express points, how much does that cost American Express?

DUBNER: A thousand dollars maybe?

YANG: Zero, because I haven’t done anything with it yet. Before I redeem it, it costs them nothing, but I love my points. I look at them. They seem to have value. I could trade them in whenever I want. What you’d see is you’d end up building up a parallel economy around people doing things for each other. This is based on a practice called time banking that’s in effect in hundreds of communities around the country.

DUBNER: Time banking is one of these ideas that’s been around for a while now, and it’s met with some success in some places, but it’s certainly never been scaled up the way that you’re talking about. What makes you think that it’s attractive enough for enough people to want to use it and that it is ultimately scalable?

YANG: Time banking holds that everyone’s time has intrinsic value and that if I do something for you for an hour, I then get a time credit that I can then give to someone else to do something for me for an hour. And everyone can do something — watch your kids or walk your dog or move some trash or whatever the task happens to be.

So the obstacle to more widespread adoption of time banking has been the administration, because you need a person in each community who is tabulating and keeping track of transactions. And now with technology—

DUBNER: This sounds like a job for the blockchain.

YANG: Yes, you could have a public ledger on the blockchain. You could make this happen much, much more easily, much more cost-effectively. And there are people I’m happy to say who were working on technical solutions for this.

People like this:

Anitha BEBERG: My name is Anitha Beberg and I am the C.E.O. of Seva Exchange Corporation, which is an A.I. and blockchain startup that’s reinventing volunteerism using time banking.

The chairman of Seva is Edgar Cahn, who helped launch the modern concept of time banking and wrote a book about it, called No More Throw-Away People.

BEBERG: He came up with this in 1980, when he was actually given a diagnosis after having a heart attack at 46. And he was only given two years to live and maybe two hours a day to do anything. So what he was thinking about was, Hmm, what can I do in this world to still be useful? So he came up with the idea of time banking, where you give an hour of your time within a community and you’ll receive a credit of that hour, redeemable for something you need. So it’s a give-and-take system rather than a one-way volunteering.

Edgar Cahn obviously lived on, and so has time banking. It exists in a few dozen countries, usually at quite small scale; one of the larger exchanges, similar to what Andrew Yang is proposing, is a British organization called Tempo. It found that nearly 60 percent of its participants had rarely or never volunteered before. Beberg’s time-banking group, meanwhile, Seva Exchange Corporation…

BEBERG: Seva actually means volunteer in Sanskrit or service, to serve.

The Seva app is a spinoff of Timebanks.org.

BEBERG: What we’re doing is trying to create the largest volunteer exchange network.

How would it work?

BEBERG: We offer powerful motivators to retain volunteers.

Motivators like gamification.

BEBERG: It’s a lot more exciting to run up a score and earn badges especially if you’re doing good.

Also: skills-matching.

BEBERG: Whatever you’re passionate about or you’re highly skilled at and willing to offer, you get matched to the critical needs of either an organization or a person.

And rewards, via the blockchain.

BEBERG: Our digital social credits is called Seva coins. And they will be redeemable for more time. Or you can donate them. We’re also working with colleges for loan forgiveness and micro-scholarships for students.

Beberg and Seva have gotten some pushback from religious institutions.

BEBERG: They’ve said, “Oh, we volunteer for the sake of volunteering.” And I said, “That’s wonderful. The more people like that, the better, because now they can just donate those to an institution in need or give it back to the church for hours.” So every hour you give, another hour can go to someone else in need.

Those are the micro components of how Seva’s digital social credits would work. But it’s the macro view that makes this idea particularly attractive to a would-be politician like Andrew Yang.

BEBERG: We’re redefining work. So there are some forms of work that money will not easily pay for building strong families, revitalizing neighborhoods, making democracy work, advancing social justice. Time credits were specifically designed to reward, recognize, and honor that work that most people never valued before or felt valued for.

Andrew Yang believes that injecting all that undervalued work into the “real economy,” would solve a couple problems at once: it would give people access to more of the goods and services they need and can’t afford; and it’d boost morale by revaluing skills that the market no longer values.

YANG: Yeah, that’s right.

DUBNER: I don’t mean to be a skeptic or a cynic, but what makes you think that the best overseer of a big scaled-up time banking or digital social currency is the government itself?

YANG: I don’t think so. I mean one thing I’ll say, to quote my friend Andy Stern: the government is terrible at most things but it is excellent at sending large numbers of checks to large numbers of people promptly and reliably. The government would not be administering this at all. The best the government would be doing would be allocating social credits to various communities, who could then have the credits flow through nonprofits and NGOs and organizations that are closer to the ground that could administer it more effectively.

DUBNER: But ultimately, when all those vendors want to take in their DSCs, their digital social currency coins, whatever, and cash them in for real cash, it’s the government they’re coming to, it’s the Treasury they’re coming to, yes?

YANG: Yeah, yeah. So there is a government budget allocation. But the government budget allocation would be essentially proportional to population and then each community would be doing different things with it. Because something that would be effective in Mississippi would not be necessary in Montana or Missouri.

So digital social credits and a universal basic income, these are Andrew Yang��s two most prominent proposals in his Presidential campaign. There are, of course, many others, most of which align with a standard Democratic platform. You can see them all at Yang2020.com. I’d asked him his most outlandish position.

YANG: We should have a psychologist in the White House that’s looking in on the mental health of the executive branch, because it doesn’t make any sense to me to have that much power and responsibility without some sort of mental-health professional monitoring.

DUBNER: Did you have this idea before the current presidency?

YANG: I always thought so. I mean, my brother’s a psychology professor. I think it would also help destigmatize mental-health issues and anxiety and depression around the country, and just say, “Look, we all have struggles.” That includes people at the top of the government.

Another thing I think is really important is that right now we expect people to be sort of martyrs if they enter into government service, and then they turn around and become lobbyists to make a lot of money. We need to take advantage of the fact that the government can pay much, much more, and then just require people to not go back to industry afterwards. Because if you’re a human being and your stint is going to end in two or three years, you don’t want to be too harsh on the companies that could end up paying you and giving you lots of money later.

DUBNER: So you’re arguing for a $4 million salary for the U.S. president.

YANG: Yeah, because it’s true for presidents too. I mean, if you’re going to get paid a quarter of a million by some company after you leave office just to show up and schmooze and give a speech, then human nature is like, “Maybe I shouldn’t be too harsh on this company.” And I’ll say, this raise can go into effect for the president after me. I do not give a shit how much I get paid. But the president after me should get paid enough so that we know that they’re just looking out for us and not going to just speech it up afterwards.

DUBNER: You happen to be the Democratic-entrepreneur-as-would-be-President who happens to be running after the successful campaign of a Republican-entrepreneur-as-President who a lot of people agree, his entrepreneurship and CEO-ship have not contributed to a stable presidency or to a business-like presidency, etc. Does that not strike you as potentially terrible timing?

YANG: Well, the reason why Donald Trump in my mind won — aside from the fact that we’ve blasted away all these manufacturing jobs — is that many Americans are desperate for some kind of change agent. And if you look at it, there has been a thirst for that not just with Donald Trump but with Bernie Sanders’s outsized success, even to some extent with Barack Obama winning in ‘08, where the citizens of the United States have been casting about for some kind of change because they know that our government is failing us.

Donald Trump is a terrible president because he’s a terrible president. He’s not necessarily a terrible president because he was not steeped in our government for decades. And genuine entrepreneurs like myself regard Donald Trump as a bullshit marketing charlatan. So he gives us all a bad name. And the goal is to show what real builders and entrepreneurs would do to solve some problems.

DUBNER: If you were a bookmaker, what are the odds that you’re laying off for Andrew Yang winning the presidency in 2020?

YANG: I think the latest odds I saw were like 200-to-1.

DUBNER: Let’s pretend for just a second that you don’t win the presidency. But that you do impress a lot of people with your energy and ideas and vision. And you are invited to run as V.P. on the Democratic ticket.

YANG: One of the fun things about running for president is you spend time with other candidates on the trail. I have some ideas, but my vision is that there is a set of patriots that are all heading to D.C. to try and save this country. I plan to be in that group. And if it’s as president, fantastic, if it’s as vice president, also fantastic.

I just want to solve problems, man. I don’t really care about the seating chart. And someone said to me, “Hey, what if Joe Biden takes all your ideas?” I would say that’s fan-freaking-tastic. I’m not some freaking crazy person who has been measuring the drapes since I was 16 or any of that jazz. I just want to keep this country together for your kids and mine.

* * *

Freakonomics Radio is produced by Stitcher and Dubner Productions. This episode was produced by Harry Huggins. Our staff also includes Alison Craiglow, Greg Rippin, Alvin Melathe, and Zack Lapinski. Our theme song is “Mr. Fortune,” by the Hitchhikers; all the other music was composed by Luis Guerra. You can subscribe to Freakonomics Radio on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Here’s where you can learn more about the people and ideas in this episode:

SOURCES

Anitha Beberg, c.e.o. of Seva Exchange.

Evelyn Forget, economist at the University of Manitoba.

Andrew Yang, entrepreneur and Democratic candidate for president.

RESOURCES

“Labor 2030: The Collision of Demographics, Automation and Inequality,” Karen Harris, Austin Kimson and Andrew Schwedel, Bain & Company (February 2018).

No More Throw-Away People by Edgar Cahn (Essential Books 2004).

Smart People Should Build Things by Andrew Yang (HarperBusiness 2014).

The War on Normal People by Andrew Yang (Hachette Books 2018).

The post Why Is This Man Running for President? (Ep. 362) appeared first on Freakonomics.

from Dental Care Tips http://freakonomics.com/podcast/andrew-yang/

0 notes