Cw: Spiders.
Levi Ackerman doesn't like spiders.
He isn't scared of them no, he simply doesn't like them. At least, that's what he says. He finds them disgusting and believes spiders are the next thing in the list after titans that needs to be gone from the face of earth.
Everything about them makes him cringe. The 8 legs and the way they skitter. The fur. How it spawns like hundreds of kid from one egg. (It's very creepy, in case you've never seen it.) . How the baby spiders eat the mother right after.
No. Levi Ackerman and spiders don't get along.
Most found it surprising. (Of course he'd rather die than admit it, only a very few people close to him were aware of it. And even then, he had to let them know because he was desperate.) And Hange would often pull his leg whenever they got the chance– ("Humanity's Strongest soldier? And you're scared of that tiny creature?")
Growing up in the underground, he had practically lived with such creatures. Rats, cockroaches and everything else, and spiders were everywhere as well. And as clean as he tried to keep his surroundings, he was bound to encounter one every once in a while. And though he tried his best to get used to it, but never did.
Okay but, imagine Levi, knocking at Erwin's office at 2 AM, standing in the doorway awkwardly. And once Erwin asks him what's wrong, he's like–
"Can you...come to my office?"
And Erwin is just gaping because what the fuck is that supposed to mean? At 2 in the morning?
But he follows, curiosity getting the best of him. And once he understands the situation, he's like-
"Levi."
"What?"
"it's... just a spider."
"Yes. I know. Get rid of it."
"You can literally smack it with your shoe if it bothers you."
"Are you dumb? It has an egg. Next thing you know, that shit'll crack and spread hundreds of those little shits all over my office."
Or Eren and the other cadets. He'd tell them to clean his office, then casually point out the spider web with the spider on. (A corner of the office he'd been actively avoiding.)
Oh but Hange?
Like they know Levi doesn't like spiders but just can't resist to fuck with him a little.
OR–
"HANGE GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME–" Levi hissed, ready to jump back if needed to, using the desk between them as a barrier and he's like 5 seconds away from pulling his sword.
"BUT LEVI, JUST LOOK. I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SPECIES BEFORE!" Hange yells excitedly, reaching over the table to show him the spider they found, totally unaware about Levi and his hatred for the creatures. "IT'S SO PERFECT!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. FUCKING BURN IT-"
Have I told you about that one time Hange had collected a lot of spiders for an experiment to figure out the material of the webs, and accidentally emptied the box on Levi's desk? No?
Yeah, Levi doesn't like talking about it either.
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“Okay yeah, that was plain cruel of her. To be honest, I have no idea what happened. She glitched out and disappeared.”
...Oh no. I do hope she's okay. May I ask why you came to me for this? Is zere anyway I can help?
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💀
Stop is it just me or i find piss kink really hot but when it comes to shit kink i literally threw up, i saw someone eating someones shit its disgusting..
WAIT NAHHH WHAT?! IVE NEVER SEEN THAT 😭
I genuinely feel so sorry for you, that must have been a traumatic time in your life 😭 piss kinks are so hot to me like I want to be pissed in icl but a SHIT KINK?! Hell nah. If I got with someone and they liked that kink I’d kick them in the balls and tell them to leave
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