#this woman really told me “bc no one can police our imaginations”

[threshholdofescape]

Every time a white woman imagines Rhys as a white man and uses white actors to fancast him an angel loses its wings and becomes a demon that will then become her sleep paralysis demon

#rhys #pro rhys #rhys is NOT a white man #please stop fancasting him with white characters #this woman really told me “bc no one can police our imaginations” #tell me you're probably being racist without telling me #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #rhysand

[kinktae]

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

[opheliasbrokenmind]

strangers with insecurities - mark renton

well first of all i’m suuperrr excited for this bc it’s literally my first completed writing for mark renton and i kinda liked it?? this one is obviously for @rentskenobi since she deserves the best!! i hope you like itt 😌💞

let me know what you think and as always, you can send me any requests for mark renton 

mark looked at his reflection on the mirror and left the apartment, walking to his ‘job’. this estate thing had become something he got used to and well, he was doing good if anyone asked. 

he liked the urgency to persuade people and use words to sell/rent them the house. once he sat up, the phone rang.

‘good morning, how can i help you?’ his voice sounded like a stranger but he knew how to play the nice worker

‘hi, uhm, i’m looking for a flat in london’ the other person spoke calmly and mark thought she was young, unlike his usual clients

‘do you have anything on your mind? a particular street, maybe?’

‘somewhere clean and quiet could be nice, i’m not sure if there’s a place like that in london though’ she joked and mark smiled to himself, little did she know

‘oh i can try that. when are you available? and do you know where’s our office?’

‘i’m free all day if that suits you, too. i don’t know exactly, can we meet somewhere?’ mark noticed she had a remarkable accent but he wasn’t sure where’s she from exactly

‘i can show you some places now, how about we meet around the cafe on brook street, you know there?’

‘yes, i can be there in.. twenty minutes’ after she hung up, mark immediately grabbed some keys from his associates and left the building

once he was there, his eyes searched for her. ‘waiting for someone?’ the sweet voice came behind him and he turned around gladly, observing the owner of it

she was young, like he predicted, probably in her early twenties, dressed casually, looked natural. she didn’t look like the girls he used to hang around, not that he hung around with many

‘how did you know it was me?’ mark asked curiously as she smiled, ‘because you’re the only one who’s wearing a suit? seems like it’s only us here, and the fucking tourists, obviously’

‘you don’t sound like a local as well’ she nodded with his comment, ‘right. i might say i’m here for a little... break. i won’t be here for too long, just a few months’

‘let’s get started, then. first i have this flat at...’ 

after stopping by at three places, he led the way to a calm quarter which wasn’t far from where he lived. ‘this one costs more but you see, it’s wide, the neighbourhood is quiet, i can assure that because i live near and there are nice places around if you want to go out’

she opened the bedroom door, ‘looks fine to me’ she checked the bathroom and went back to the kitchen, ‘would you live here?’

her question caught him off guard, ‘what do you mean?’

‘not as the seller but as a person, do you think this flat is somewhere you can rest and study?’ she asked easily, looking at him with curiosity

‘well, why not i guess, it seems nice. a little bit big for me but you said just for a few months so yeah, i would’

‘okay then, it’s this one’ she paid the rent for a month and they left the flat together, ‘i need to pick my things from the hotel first’ she explained once they were out

‘i think it’s not your first time here, in london’

‘yes, some of my friends live here but they’re all gone, spending the summer in europe or something like that’

‘and you didn’t want to go back home?’

‘that’s for sure. dad’s somewhere in spain and if i go home, it’ll be just me and that crazy woman. i don’t miss ireland at all. looks like you don’t miss scotland, too’

mark found himself smiling, she spoke like she knew him and the thing was, she was right. ‘i fucking hate there, otherwise i wouldn’t be here wondering at these streets, would i?’

she sighed softly, ‘looks like we have something in common, huh?’

‘i bet there are more’

so that’s basically how you met mark renton. it was unexpected, strange, yet comforting. it felt right and real.

seeing him at the cafe was something you were hoping for and when that happened a few days later, you could tell he was glad, too

‘i see you’re exploring’ he said when you approached him and you smiled, ‘you can say that. oh and i still don’t know your name’

‘mark, mark renton’ he said and for a second, you thought his name reminded him of something he didn’t want to remember, or it was just your imagination

‘i’m y/n’ you said simply, sitting in front of him as he gestured you the chair

‘how’s everything going, any problems with the flat?’

‘it’s fine, quiet like you said. and you, any problems?’ you smiled and he shrugged, ‘can’t say there is, just keeping up with the usual shit’

‘i see, you keep impressing your clients with your charm then’ he took a sip from his coffee and smiled, ‘what can i say...’ you laughed and he found himself doing the same, ‘you know, you’re the only one i’m having coffee with’

‘now i’m flattered’ 

then, seeing him at the coffee became something usual. he had a few days off which you started to spend together, drinking coffee. 

‘so you’re in london, all alone?’ you asked one day, hoping it wouldn’t piss him.

‘yes, that’s why i left edinburgh. it keeps me on the line’ you leaned in a bit, watching him smoking a cigarette. ‘and you?’ he asked back, staring at you with those beautiful eyes of him 

‘i wanted to run away. belfast made me feel like i was a prisoner, surrounded with people i couldn’t bear. then i convinced my dad i wanted to study in france’

‘france? sounds like you ran too far’ 

‘thank god i did’

‘and what are you studying?’ mark asked curiously, already have ideas on his mind. ‘what would you say?’

‘literature, maybe?’ you smiled, ‘cinema’ for a moment, it felt like it was just you two in the world, two strangers in london, alone together

your coffee meetings turned into movie ones at the cinema and one day, you invited him to your flat, ‘we can watch a movie or just have a drink and talk, you know’ 

of course, he accepted the offer. ‘it’s warm so you can take off your jacket, if you want’ you said sheepishly, hoping he wouldn’t notice that you noticed he never takes it off

‘yeah, sure’ he said while you went to bring some movies, ‘you choose, i’ve seen most of these’ you suggested and then you were watching a godard movie, sitting on the comfortable couch 

after a while you were sitting closer, arms almost touching and you spotted them, the needle marks

you didn’t know what to do so you just kept staring and when you looked up at him, his eyes were full with fear like he was a boy caught stealing something

‘mark...’ you managed to say, then you realised you didn’t know what to say. you moved and intertwined your fingers, giving him a squeeze to reassure him it was alright, that he didn’t need to be scared 

‘’m sorry’ he whispered, looking away to avoid your gaze. ‘for what?’ you asked, afraid of the answer. ‘for not being the guy you thought i was’

you looked at your hands, his pale fingers were cold and you wanted to tell him how you felt about him. instead of that you let go of his hand, placed your hand on his shoulder and when he turned to you, you leaned in to kiss him

a mix of coffee and cigarettes, just like you imagined, with something fresh. your other hand found the back of his head, touching his hair carefully

even though he was hesitant at first, he kissed you back. he desperately wanted to do that for weeks and now there you were, embracing him passionately when he felt like a failure 

‘it’s not my place to judge you. i like the mark i see, imperfect but we all are. we’re all struggling’

‘i am clean’ he told you, looking deep into your eyes so you’d know he was telling the truth. ‘that’s why i came here, to stay away from heroin. i... want to stay clean’

‘i know you mean it. god, mark..’

‘kiss me again?’ so that’s what you did, gifting soft kisses to each other until the movie ended

for a while, it went on like this. talking, kissing and laughing together, almost every day. he’d come from work, to your flat and you’d cook together, dance to the songs he loved, watch movies and sharing the most private moments as no one listened to you. you were free and you lived without care, as if you were invisible to the real world

but one morning he stood on your doorway, his face paler than usual and you felt it in your bones that something was wrong

‘it’s... begbie. in my fucking flat. jesus! sitting there like he owns the place’ you took a step back, giving him space to come in. ‘can’t he stay somewhere else?’

‘he’s hiding from the police. fuck, i should’ve known’ you frowned with his words, ‘how could you?’ with that mark felt guilty, never telling you about diane because he was still embarrassed

‘i hate it’ he said, more to himself than you. ‘you know you can always stay here, right?’

‘you don’t have to say this’ 

‘no, i don’t. i’m not saying it because i feel sorry for you, mark. i’m saying it because i’d really like it if you were staying with me. don’t you know how i feel?’

‘but you never said it’ he said quietly but you heard him anyway. ‘that i love you? i thought it was obvious...’ his eyes shined with happiness as he walked to you, ‘you mean it?’

‘don’t be silly. of course, i mean it. i love you’

#trainspotting #trainspotting fanfiction #mark renton #mark renton x reader #mark renton fic #ewan mcgregor #it’s just me writing things to make me myself & the people happy 👉👈

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

i don’t fucking care if this sounds selfish, but like. one of the main reasons that i don’t want kids is because of how much the industry around babies like baby showers and gender reveal parties (GRPs/grp used later in this post) are kind of expected and how you’ve gotta post your ~pregnancy journey~ on basically a daily basis almost. like every part of the way is commodified now- both by money for hosting the parties etc, and by social media posts.

don’t get me wrong, i do care on a base level that you’re having kids because everyone deserves to be happy and whatever with their choices. but generally for gender reveal party posts i roll my eyes and scroll past. i don’t care whether you’re having a girl or a boy until you actually pop it out and post a photo. why can’t you keep that gender reveal party between just you and your closest friends and family, instead of posting it to your 1,000 fb friends... most of whom (like me) you haven’t seen for like 10 years or more???

because the only time i really do genuinely care when someone i know that is having kids does a gender reveal fb post...... is when they’ve had significant problems with trying to conceive (like miscarriages) or they have some type of other problem like endometriosis or pcos, and have been told for years that they’d never have kids. and somehow against the odds, they’re having a kid or their second kid. that’s when i give a fuck about your gender reveal tbh. like good on you desiree!!! you’re having a kid!!! i’m so genuinely happy for you after you’ve had ALL that trouble!!! or after all the doubts you’ve had about your ability to conceive!!!! tell me all about it!!!! tell me whether it’s a boy or a girl!!! you deserve this!!! but thank god none of my friends are imbecilic enough to use fireworks for their gender reveal parties. they just use balloons or idek colour coded party poppers and sparklers and cupcakes (if they have a proper GRP and upload pics to fb) to signify the gender of their baby/babies instead.

then unfortunately, you get fuckwits like the fucking brainless selfish twats in california this week who decided to use bloody fireworks for their gender reveal party..... only to start a fucking wildfire smack bang in the middle of california’s wildfire season. like what the FUCK is that??? why the FUCK do you need fireworks?? or generally for other methods like this, why the FUCK do you need the smoke things like this:

by using flares or whatever??? why use such a pointlessly excessive way to essentially brag that you’re having a girl??? how much does it cost to even throw a proper gender reveal party with any of these potentially dangerous methods??? and generally with the invites and catering??? and also the social cost as well, where you’re interrupting all your invitees schedules just to prove that you’re having a kid and to prove what’s between its legs??? when literally the only people who genuinely care about the reveal are the couple, their families and their closest friends (possibly).

and then the above is all for something you could’ve just easily posted on fb with an ultrasound pic or just a text status to say “hey we’re having a boy!” or “hey everyone we’re having a little princess 👸🏻!!! get excited everyone!!!” or whatever. because it’s literally that easy not to fucking ~flex~ (as the internet cool kids call it) and do fucking idiotic things like using flares or fireworks for what SHOULD BE A SMALL private and intimate personal event.... but instead it’s done all for some utterly ridiculous (on some levels) social media clout for “who out of your friends has had the best gender reveal party this year???”.... (as well as 450+ likes on the photo/video/photo album on facebook to boot).... or something equally as probably toxic and senseless to boast about in the industry around baby showers and gender reveals.

anyway i just feel like these events are just getting to be another insidious way to pit women or couples against each other to compete for social media feed dominance. it’s becoming another unhealthy comparison anxiety point builder for young women (or any woman of child bearing age really) to feel bad about themselves if they don’t want to have one and flood it all through their social media accounts , imo. as if they don’t have ENOUGH on their shoulders during the process of pregnancy and birth.... and just generally while being young women already.

but now you gotta shove the gender reveal parties in young women’s faces/women of child bearing age’s faces as well, and be all like: “make SURE you make YOUR gender reveal is BIGGER and BETTER than annaleigh’s, vanessa! just know we’re counting down the days and we can’t wait to see what method you use!! but we’re sure it’s gonna be SPECTACULAR 🤯🤩!! we’ll be taking notes 📝😉!!! just don’t tell anyone else though lol 🙉🤫!!” or some other equally unhealthy catty one upmanship bullshit that i’d imagine some women or even some grp/baby shower planners would say (although if a professional planner said something like that to me i’d fire them on the spot tbh. bc how petty and bitter do THEY want to be about MY special day???). but you just know that that’s how the industry around GRPs is turning out to be.

but yeah. these steps in pregnancy and the whole industry around gender reveal parties and baby showers are some of the big reasons why i don’t want to have kids. like you can call me a tightass or a selfish cow or the fUn PoLiCe (🚨) or any other variations of these insults. but i’m sure there’s a lot of young women who feel the same way. just leave us the fuck alone to celebrate our happiness in these occasions, in our own way, instead of pressuring us to buy into a huge scam industry like the one around gender reveal parties and baby showers.

#life #about me #shut up ilona

[dwarrowdams]

Okay, so I am saying this here because saying it elsewhere might just be the end of my (fledgling) career as an author.

I’ve previously read and enjoyed books written by Brooklyn Ray/Taylor Brooke (a queer + nonbinary white author), but their social media presence was...not my fave.  I saw them drag readers over small things and eventually I couldn’t take the negative vibes so I just unfollowed them, even though something told me that there was more than just ~bad vibes~ going on here.

Giving myself some space helped me to figure out what about them rubbed me the wrong way.  Was it that they RT-ed a tweet that amounted to “free menstrual products are important, but please don’t bash on free condoms bc activists worked hard to make that happen” by saying the OP was tone policing people who menstruate?  Was it the fact that they said that you can’t be Christian and a witch?

Neither of those rubbed me the right way, but the thing that got me was them saying that they disliked POSE because of the queer stereotypes.

That didn’t sit right with me, because POSE is one of very few pieces of modern media that centers Black trans women.  If you don’t like it, whatever, but saying that it’s stereotypical ignores the fact that so few Black trans women have been allowed to exist in queer spaces.  Stories of queer folks with AIDS (or queer folks who are homeless) usually center cis white people, so seeing a story like this focus on Black trans women as stereotypical is...odd, particularly since Janet Mock (a Black trans woman) writes, directs, and produces the show.

Tonight, it all clicked into place.

The comment on POSE.

Their positive review of a book that readers of color have called out for racism (and of course their review doesn’t mention that there’s anything racially problematic in the book).

(White reviewers have mentioned these issues as well.) 

The fact that they released an anthology of stories by nonbinary authors and only two authors included were POC (again, please correct me if I’m wrong).

While that might seem fine (it’s the same number of authors of color as the recently released romance anthology He’s Come Undone, after all), there are nine stories in Behind the Sun, Above the Moon.

There are five stories in He’s Come Undone.  So compare the 40% ratio of authors of color in He’s Come Undone to the 22.2% ratio of Behind the Sun, Above the Moon.  It’s pretty damn telling.

Brooklyn Ray/Taylor Brooke is one of the White Queers who does not acknowledge the white privilege they have.  They are sidlining and ignoring queer/trans people of color and from my knowledge, they have not taken a step back and acknowledged that any of these actions are problematic.

I am tired of seeing white queers who don’t examine their white privilege and racial biases—and I’m white, so I can only imagine how tired queer people of color are of seeing white queers doing this.

While it may be tempting to do so, please do not @ them on social media about this—they can get really nasty with folks over very little, even if those folks are calm and polite (see image below or click the link).

(context: Taylor had vague-tweeted about an article praising Leigh Bardugo’s NINTH HOUSE and someone was asking for the link to the article)

Just stay away from them and use your energy to support trans authors of color: today, this month, and every damn day.

If this is something you want to talk about on Twitter, do so very carefully because I’ve also seen this author post screenshots of tweets where their name was censored out.  (Did someone send them the pics?  Did they poke around looking for their censored out name?  Idk, but something is definitely rotten in the state of Denmark.) I do hope that they learn to be a better ally to QTPOC, but I don’t want any of y’all risking your mental health by trying to confront them directly.

Fellow white queer folks, we need to do better so that the people of color in our queer community can openly be themselves without being criticized for not fitting the White Queer Ideal.

Update: As of today (6/29/20), Brooklyn Ray/Taylor Brooke/Taylor Barton has been dropped by their agent and all of their publishers. However, they are planning to self-publish the books they wrote as Brooklyn Ray (and perhaps others) using the same pseudonym and the same book titles.  The fact that they felt the need to harass me for telling others not to buy their books bc they’re racist + for speaking out against their harassment of other writers says a lot.

Also worth noting: the fact that everyone they harassed when they reactivated their @/BrookieRayWrite Twitter a couple days ago is a) a new writer with fewer industry connections b) trans/nonbinary c) a person of color, or some combination of A-C, is pretty damn telling.

Obviously they have not changed and their apologies were not sincere (especially not the “wah my team made me apologize” one).  They are not worth your time or energy.

(Note: I apologize for not having links/screenshots for all of this—I didn’t think to screenshot the tweets mentioned early on because I didn’t imagine I’d have to make a post like this, but I did try my best to find what I could.)

(Another Note: Edited to include the link to the screenshotted tweet and added links to reviews of Docile by white reviewers that address the racist issues of the novel.)

(A Third Note: Edited to reflect that there was one author of color in the nonbinary anthology; my thanks to the anon who corrected me.)

(A Fourth Note: Edited to reflect that there was another author of color in the aforementioned anthology; my thanks to the anon who corrected me.  Also added update on the situation and deleted the call for folks to share their experiences bc they absolutely have.)

#hush Bree #long post /// #also the POC I follow in the book community haven't read their stuff #which is...telling #also I'm not joking about that ending my writing career #they have some cachet in the romance world and I don't wanna piss them off #(at least not under my pseudonym) #(I'm totally chill with pissing them off as tumblr user dwarrowdams) #also sorry if this is kind of a mess #I couldn't sleep until I wrote it #also I'm def making a list of books by trans authors of color

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

[pseudonymfox]

Life as we know it (2)

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: As your best friends passed away due an car accident You and Sebastian Stan become the God Parents and Caregivers of the little Baby.

This Part: Time has passed, Allison and Peter became Sophie and now it’s her first birthday and you meet someone in your shop...

Warnings: slowburn

A/N: Tags are at the end. The name Sophie is actually from the movie, didn’t choose it and I don’t change it bc is kinda funny for me :D

(Y/N) - your name, (Y/L/N) - Your last name

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist

<<Previous Part

The time flew by and you saw Sebastian or Seb from now and then at Allison and Peter’s house, much to your dislike but you couldn’t change it either. You are the best friend of Allison and he was the best friend from Peter, there wasn’t much you could do than avoiding him. Somehow he managed to get in your way all the time and destroy your plans in his own way. He probably hates you as much as you do but that didn’t stop him, he just kept going with being an idiot. The first time you saw him again after their wedding was on the Christmas party from Allison where they also announced that she was pregnant which you were super happy with. You love kids and you would try your very best to be some kind of aunt to the little girl. Anyway on the party you brought a friend with you, his name was Steve and you just agreed to go out with you because he was being a nice guy and you thought that one date couldn’t hurt and Seb decided on this festive day to follow you around the house with a mistletoe.

He must loves it to make you uncomfortable all the time. At least you tried to have solid relationships he just brought each time a different girl with him or flirted around with girls. Time flew by again, the little baby girl was born and is named Sophie and now her first birthday stood before. Allison asked you nicely to make a few cupcakes, the birthday cake and some finger food. You even did the wedding cake for her so why not helping her out with that. Right now Sebastian and Peter are outside with Sophie to set up a few tables while you and Allison discussed a few things inside. You took the cupcakes out of the boxes while she already told you about Sophie’s doctor who could be single just because she didn’t saw a ring on his finger.

“Allison no! We already talked about this. Please I have my own ways ok?“ you said cutting her off.

“I just don’t want you end up alone (Y/N)..“ she replied and shrugged with her shoulders.

“But you want me ending up with Seb? or what about the guy who ended up being gay after our first date?or..-“ you wanted to continue the list but she already stopped you.

“Ok!ok..I got it.“ she hold her hands up in surrender.

“Let’s just stay like this, you continue making beautiful babies like Sophie and I continue making the delicious food for you.“ you winked in her direction while you took a few last details on Sophie’s birthday cake. After you put your food on a few plates, Seb and Peter came back with Sophie who recently puked Sebastian in his face. He cleaned his shirt and face at the sink while you hold Sophie for a while.

“Don’t worry Sophie your are not the first and last girl who puked in his face.“ you said while bounced he lightly in your lap.

“Haha very funny. Sophie can learn a lot more from me than from you.“ he said and dried his face.

“What? You are like an adult baby. She could learn more from a toaster.“ He just rolled his eyes.

Together you made a little speech about Sophie and shortly after came the babysitter from Sophie. They just named her the baby whisperer all the time because they insisted that she just has to take Sophie into her arms and she would stop crying and she was anyway invited to the Party. Her real name was Amy and she was a teenage girl and after she took Sophie with her to change her into a new pair of clothes you asked Allison about her.

“Really? She is the Baby whisperer?“ you asked nodding into the direction the young girl leaved the room.

“Yup seriously and if she would be older I would think that she could steal me my husband“ she mumbled back while Peter laughed and gave her a peck on her lips.

“Could you step away Seb? You smell like Baby puke.“ you said over your shoulder to him and continued watching Allison and Peter being a cute married couple. They are something like soulmates for you, they had their up and downs but at the end they couldn’t live without eachother.

“Oh really?“ he chuckled and came from behind you to hug you but you were faster to get away from him and giggled while he still tried to chase after you.Soon after the first neighbours, friends and family members filled the house. You managed to fill the food again from time to time until someone behind you which you recognized as one of the neighbours asked you something.

“Sorry Miss? Are you the caterer?“ she spoke from the couch while you noticed how the other women around her stared at you.

“Yes I am..and the best friend of Allison” you said while she patted you over to her to take a seat besides the women and her baby. They all joked a little around and complimented you about the food you made. You didn’t really like them because they are these typical housewives. They are all very nice but still a little too much for you. Later you learned that the woman's name was Deedee with her husband Scott. They all continued to ask you out about your life and which you guessed just to make nasty remarks later about it.

“Yes I am single“ you answered the next question while you tried to eat a few snacks. All of the women around just stared at you and mostly already judged you in their head.

“Well don’t worry..at least you make really good food“ she laughed sarcastically.

You just nodded and smiled at the ladies around you. At least they stopped asking about your life. You mentally praised for some kind of help and that came rather quickly because you were all called to gather around the table to sing Happy Birthday to Sophie while Allison came around the corner of the room with the cake in her hands. Peter filmed how the little girl smiled and giggled at her mother who blew the candles out. They did that from now and then to save the memories for them, Allison told you.

“Come on guys let’s take a photo with the godparents!“ Peter called as everyone stopped clapping and cheering. You and Seb stood on each side of the Sophie as the photo was taken. The day went by and after you helped to clean everything up you made your way towards your own home and literally fall in your bed and into a deep sleep. The next day you had to work again which you were wether thankful for. Over the last years you managed to open a little Shop with a little help. Everything was working out well for you there right know, you tried to expand the shop a little bit but that didn’t slowed you down, the customer kept strolling in everyday and under them was a handsome stranger who came by everyday for the last month and each time he ordered the same bacon sandwich with a black coffee and today you already saw him from outside walking to your door while you quickly got to the cash register. Normally someone else would do this for you but you wanted him to notice you and that was most likely the only way to get to know him in some kind of way.

“Let me guess. Black coffee and bacon sandwich?“ you smiled straight to him.

“Am I that obvious?“ he smiled and blushed a little bit which you found really cute. He had brown eyes, dark blond hair and is really handsome and likeable.

”Well I saw you for over the last month each day“ before you could even think about what to say you already did and cursed yourself mentally. Now he thinks I am his stalker, great (Y/N) you thought. At least he chuckled a little bit.

“How come you don’t wear a name tag like the others?“ he asked while he scratched the back of his neck.

“My name is (Y/N).” you smiled while you did his coffee and sandwich.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sam“ he shook you hand over the counter. You gave him the little bag and he gave you the cash with a little tip and a card with his number on. You opened your mouth to say something but he was already at the door and winked one last time at you. After work you decided to take bubble bath and maybe even call Dr. Sam Nelson to ask him out. You looked for a few minutes at the card and struggled a little with yourself but now or never you decided. When would get a chance like that again and you clearly didn’t want end up alone. He didn’t pick up so you tought about leaving him a message.

“Hello? This is (Y/N) uhm- from the shop. You ordered a black coffee and a bacon sandwich. I hope you can remember because it would be-“ the sound of the beep disturbed your little speech.

“-sorry someone else is calling. Just call me back if you have time.“ you ended the call with him and took the waiting call.

“Hello?“ you asked.

“Am I speaking with (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?-“ a male voice asked you and continued.

“This is the New york police department. Allison and Peter Novak had you and Sebastian Stan as emergency contact in their phone list. We have to ask you to come here Miss (Y/L/N).“

Next Part >>

Feedback appreciated, If you want to be added or removed to the Taglist send an ask :)

xoxo Sophie

Tags (strike trough means it didn’t work): @void-imaginations @kawaiispacepriincess @contagious-smile69 @butifulsoul125 @selenasoftly @cutebaby99 @alina-barnes @emilieklemloenn @impalatobakerstreet @ultrasilentwhispers @pao-prazz @mimaligrl  @severuined

#sebastian stan #seb stan imagine #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x you #seb stan x reader #fox imagine

[sapphiics]

I am human herpes. You can work to get rid of me but unless you scrap me away and douse me with light fluid I’m not going anywhere.

The only awful thing about that song is that I’ve gone through all of her other songs and they just. Don’t match. None are even half as good and it makes me sad bc I know she must know that. Or maybe she likes the others more and that song was a fluke or something off beat for her and. Don’t we all have that something. Everytime I wrote a piece I hate it. And the ones I hate most others like the best.

She blows you a wet one right back. Milk. Or white. Never bitter. I’m bitter enough.

My music taste is insufferable because it’s all over the place and none of it fits except when you look at me. Maybe that’s everything about me. A little of everything right

I love school and hate it. Maybe it’s because I’ve finally just been pushed to do it and I’ve remembered that I’ve always felt the most regulated, the best, in school being told what and how to do things as well as having the purpose that is going to class and making things. I do morning classes which I love because then I’m not dreading a class all day and I’m just a morning person. Something I think I’ve trained into myself.

Commuting, but it’s only five minutes away, my mother bikes to her classes when it’s nice. The only thing I find awful about class is the uncertainty, I’m always second guessing myself, but also I’m the youngest which means all my brothers have a sort of status quo that they’ve proven to my mother so now I’m expected to work and do school and do scholarships and date and not off myself while she’s sleeping and I just want to jump up and down and grit my teeth and show her all the invisible things I do around the house to keep everything running that the boys never did. But that’ll be forever I suppose. No one lives up to my mothers standards, not even her most of the time.

And theology (and English) majors are bastards of course. We picked a odd and specific major so we think we’re better than every one else whose doing practical degrees. Oh expect the masters theology people bc. Bc most of them are literal priests. But the other half who think communing with god includes like shaving your head and sucking him off fill all of my classes. Nothing wrong with them except the pretentiousness.

And I am a thorn among daffodils. Constantly brushing against very soft petals and causing them to bruise.

You tell me all about high school (both my favorite memories and my bastard ones live there) and this odd boy (yes the boy you’re referencing of mine is that one. I wish I could be someone different for him. I’m meeting his dad this weekend. He calls me his lady friend to his roommates. Hello what) you’re seeing as practice

“I am human herpes” “I am a thorn among daf-“

Stop. Cut it out. End it. I hold you in such high regard I don’t even want to read that.

And I love Presumably Dead Arm so much but I know I wouldn’t enjoy her discography. Like i refuse to even try because i can already imagine the disappointment. I’ve never created anything. Nothing really important or worth sharing. I can only talk.

I hope momma slept like a baby. And dark is where it’s at Adrianna 😗 Dark and bitter but because it makes the sweet that much more necessary and noticeable. Everything sticks out more when it’s dark.

You’re a morning person I’d ask what it’s like to be God’s favorite but you’re more like his childhood friend that you can’t shake and who you hold onto because of misplaced and misguided nostalgia.

And mothers always seem to measure us up. A woman’s household labor is seen as an extension of herself rather than the work it truly is, and we are labeled as lazy or having it easy-going for the rest of our lives.

Whoever’s sucking of jesus christ I want them to tell me if it’s big. Just for documentation’s sake. Women (who aren’t bastards) in theology are stronger than the entire police force. Don’t become a nun.

And the boy met me at the most random event and thought i was worth striking up a convo with. He is cute (very cute. I had noticed him earlier and i’m still happy about this) and goes to school 30 minutes at some all boy’s private school. We’re taking (on snapchat 🤢) and it’s nice to just. Learn how to talk with boys on a safe target. I would let it go further but i’m unaffected either way (this is a lie I want people to love me from the moment they lock eyes with me until their last breath I’m a selfish bastard).

High school is schooling. I am stressed and tired and I have meetings everyday but it’s good. Or it’s decent.

#adrianna #ask #tell me if anything’s incomprehensible

[janiedean]

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

#mafia #mafia for ts #Anonymous #ask post

[myinnerocean]

26.November 2017

Gosh finally i am back.I Know it's been a long ass time but I can tell you finally what's been going on in my life since I left the farm.

So, after we left the farm we travelled around for a week,looking at geysers and wandering through some nationals reserves.We looked for a job and found a job in a city called Opotiki which isn't really a city,rather a village.We drove to the riverview lodge where we would sleep and have a kitchen shower etc.When we arrived we got told to wait because for some reason we couldn't work right away. After a week of sitting around (and paying rent,80$ a week) she told us that our boss called her and said they don't need any more workers.We were pretty mad and she was just like we'll I'm sorry but u need to look for something else.So we were a bit panicking bc we don't have that much time.In the morning she then told us that there is work bc someone else called her who needs some workers.So finally we had a working place.

We worked first from 7-16:30 and after a while from 8-16:30.it was a ducking shit job lel.Standing under kiwi trees and do something called bud thinning.Like there are like 10 fruits in one spot and u need to pick so many that there are 2-4 left ,but depending on how many leafes are In that part and meh idk hard to explain.It was just so plain and boring.But we did it and worked for around 6 weeks.

During that time we befriended with 2 girls,Paula and Sabi, and 3 guys , Nic and Steffen and Krischan, all from Germany. We made a cooking group with them which meant that the 2 girls cook while we cut the food they need and wash the dishes after it lel.Amd sharing costs of course which was a lot cheaper.You know food is so super expensive here in NZ,it's crazy.

So yeah then it happened that Mel,the woman from the lodge who organizes the workers and the bosses and shit told the people that were sleeping in tents that they have to move out of the tent by 8 in the morning bc court said it's not allowed to have so many tents blabla idek.By that it was like 7pm and ppl were pissed that she comes up with that so short before.so yeah this whole place was messed up generally bc there were like 70 people and 4 toilets and 4 showers and 1 kitchen.Just way too many.Apparently police was there too and said to Mel that she can't have that many people in her place bc she doesn't have enough toilets and showers.She didn't care.Police stopped her also drunk driving.Man she was always drinking beer whole day and then driving around.

So what I am trying to say that this place was kinda messed up,so many people and paying 80$ each person for , meh idk not much.Like we could just put our car there and sleep in it.Some people rented a tent like Paula and Sabi and there were a few rooms which were already full but of course u payed more for that then sleeping in a car.

Paula and Sabi were pissed bc of that and they couldn't even sleep in their car.So they told us about their friends who are at a camping ground just 5 minutes besides this lodge.We decided we will leave Mel's place together and live together in a Bungalow at this camping ground.So we moved and it was fucking crazy.We live now in a Bungalow in our beds,have a TV, a small living room and right at the beach like 70m in front of our house.And we pay 87$ for it lool.I will put some pics up here so u can imagine.

Today is Sunday and yesterday we had our last day at work.On 1st December we booked the ferry to the south island.We will drive down there and spend the December there .At New years eve there is a 5 days festival we booked with the 3 guys together which I am so excited about.We get along so well and after spending almost 2 months time with them,we are friends.

So yep we paid for this place since Tuesday so we stay until that and then we all separate and meet for Christmas again which we will celebrate together.We booked an airbnb house.

I'm sorry I didn't write a text in so long but now I am back and when we will begin the true adventure and leave this place I promise I will keep u updated of the crazy things I see.Ive got finally free space again on my phone so that isn't a problem anymore.

Oh also,the plan is to just travel around with the money we earned till half of January and then return to Jonkers farm where we want to spend a bit of time again and sell our car n'shit and on 10th February I will come back to naziland.

I know this is a very long post but I hope it's okay,I tried to put it short but it's been a long time.

Okay bby now it's your turn again.Please tell me what you are up to these days and what fuckboys are in your mind and how uni fucks u up and all the things u want me to tell.

Hab dich lieb <3