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writers-hes · 10 months

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The Blind Man

You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn’t realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps, depictions of mental illness, abusive marriage)

They finally meet.

PART 1 / PART 2

PROTECTION SERIES TAGLIST | PROTECTION MASTERLIST navigation

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

There was nothing discreet with how you dressed. You were in all black, a black veil shielding you from the onlookers. Simon sent some money to Johnny’s wife, Beth, for a proper wake. His house was filled with white flowers and proper food. It’s the least he could do, that’s what he said. You were sitting beside the widow, trying to console her.

“Johnny used to talk about you alot,” she weeped. “‘That’s my girl! That’s my daughter and she’ll go places!’ That’s what he always said. He told me how you grew up in the brothel and how you were always willing to listen to his lessons in arithmetic.” Her eyes were red from crying and all you could do was console her. “Thank you for taking care of him…for taking care of us,”

“It’s nothing, Beth,” you assured her. “He let me into his bunker when my mum died,” you recalled. “He protected me from…from…as much as he could, you know?”

God. Just how many people could you lose in this fucking lifetime? First, your father but you’ve never really weeped for him. You never knew him. Second, your mum. She took care of you with how little she had. Third, Tommy. You never heard back if he was alive or not. Your protector. Fourth, Big Johnny. He’s always been the male figure that you considered as your father. Who’s next?

“I’m grateful for him,” you managed to choke out. You asked your security guards to go somewhere else, maybe a few feet or metres from the house. You wanted privacy. “I’m just so regretful to never have seen him and now he’s gone…”

Johnny died because of a rumble with some of the newer gangs in Small Heath. Some young lads mugged him on the way home and killed him. They threw his body by the docks where they thought no one would ever see him.

Your body suddenly fills with rage. Was this the work of the Blinders? Fuck. Why would they fucking do that? Beth excuses herself from you and you nodded. Picking on the rings on your fingers, you didn’t notice who sat beside you.

“Seems like we only see each other at weddings and funerals,” You gasped, looking at the source of the familiar voice. How could you ever forget? She told you what you needed to do to survive.

“Polly,” you gasped, extending your shaky hands towards her. “How have you been?”

“I’m good,” she replied. “Who would’ve thought, huh?” she asked. She lets you clutch her hand for support. “Where’s Simon?”

“He has business in Camden Town,” you replied. “He allowed me to go but there’s security around us right now. We can’t really talk, Poll—he’s going to, he’s going to—“

“I’ve handled it,” she said. “You can talk to me as freely as you would like, okay?” You nodded.

“I’m sorry for…for leaving,” you whispered. Your voice wavers and you feel the wetness in your eyes. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Darling…”

“He threatened to kill Tommy, Arthur, and John if I didn’t obey,” you confessed. “During the…the war,” You shut your eyes to hide from Polly. Her heart aches. You’ve always been reluctant to show your emotions but you are visibly hiding now. Cowering from the fear of rejection and of humiliation from Polly Gray. “He said that-that he knew people who could finish the job.”

“Don’t hide,” she coos. Your obedience was not in vain but she’d never tell you that. She didn’t want Tommy to act impulsively and she didn’t want you to lose what you already have. “How are you? You don’t need permission from a man, you know,”

“I know,” you nod. “You always told me but…Simon is all I have now. He trusts me and I don’t want to break that trust that I’ve worked so hard on. You told me to take advantage of everything and I am,”

“What have you been doing?”

“I have trusts, bonds, and investments to my name now. Simon couldn’t take them away from me. All sealed with a document that my lawyers reviewed,” you told her. Once a prostitute, always a prostitute.

“Johnny and I taught you well then,” she nods in approval. “That’s good. We miss you,”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Where’s Ada? I’ve to thank her for the house,”

“If anything, she has you to thank. She’s been going there a lot since you left. She said she feels more at peace there,” Polly replied. “When are you leaving?”

“After the burial,” you replied. “I have to leave and go to uh, Italy with Simon,”

“For what?”

“Some…business thing.” you replied.

“He’s showing you the world?” she asked, gesturing to your clothes. You knew it. It was too much for a funeral.

“Yeah. It’s too much isn’t it? I can-I can change into something else but, he likes these clothes,” you told her. “But can I—“

“No, you look good,” she says, stopping you from your worries. “You look like who you’re supposed to be,”

You look like who you’re supposed to be. If it was any other person, you’d be offended; but this was Polly. She always told you that you didn’t belong in Small Heath. “You’re too pure to belong here forever.” She’d always say. It’s funny, you felt like you never belonged in Simon’s world no matter how hard he tried to put you in it.

You couldn’t bring yourself to ask about Tommy and his brothers. How could you? You were too scared to know the answer. If Polly didn’t mention it, it’s probably for the best.

“I do wish you’d visit us more but I know your circumstances,” she said. “I received the letter from Simon along with a cheque of a few thousand pounds,”

“Did you encash it?” you asked.

“No,” she replied. Somehow, that gave you comfort. She couldn’t be bought. “I did it because I was so worried about what could happen to you. It didn’t have any details. It just said that he’d appreciate it if we cease all contact. He hasn’t hurt you, has he?”

“No,” you shook your head. Not yet. “As unimaginable as it all is, he has never. I truly believe that he loves me, Pol. He tells me every day. He heeds everything that I say or do and has never had a mistress but I feel so terrible because I don’t love him that way,” you confessed, feeling like the weight of the world just lifted itself on your shoulders. “I’m terrible,”

“You’re not,” Polly said. “I told you to take advantage of everything but I never told you to love him, did I?”

You went home that day feeling lighter. You could always confide in Polly whenever you needed. You were just so heartbroken to know that that could probably never happen again. Your servants have left now. You told them that you didn’t need them during the night because of how small the house was. They stayed at a lodging for labourers nearby; except for the guards. They came with you wherever you go, even if it was only at a distance.

You were putting away the heavy gold earrings in the vanity in your room. It was dark, except for the lamp that you opened by the bed.

“You should really change your locks,” Your head whipped, earrings falling on the ground.

“Tommy?” you asked, rushing towards him in your most comfortable clothes. It was a long sleeved pyjama shirt that Simon owned. Tommy didn’t like it. “Oh my God. You’re here,” you breathed, shaky hands touching his arm. “You’re here…you’re here,”

“And you’re here,” he says, his voice void of emotion. He looked for the pressed flowers in the frame that usually sat on your vanity. It was gone. “You left,”

“I didn’t want to,” you said, removing your hands from him when you felt how cold he was.

“Did you plan on coming back? At all?” he asked. His rage blinds him. Why was he so cold and cruel? Why couldn’t he tell you how happy he was to see you again? He didn’t know how to handle his emotions. Years of longing…of heartbreak…of wondering if he could ever be good enough came down on him.

“Tommy?”

“It’s just a funny thing, isn’t it?” he chuckled, lighting up his cigarette. “You leave, make your way into the world, and then expect things to be the same.”

You frowned.

“It’s a funny thing. You promised to wait for me and you didn’t,” he spat. “All I ever looked at was your photo in those four years and you—“

“I didn’t want to leave, Tommy,” you whispered.

“But you did!” he exclaims. “You left me! You…you left me and married someone else. You decided that I could never grant my promises and fucked someone else. Like a…like…”

“Like what, Tommy?” you asked, stepping away from him. “Like a whore?” He’s never thought of you like that before.

“I never said that,”

“But you thought it!” You sit on your bed. “You see me like how everyone sees me. Fuck,” you shook, shielding yourself away from him. “How could you ruin this for us?”

“No, I’m—“

“Then, what? What is it, Tommy? You come in here to my house and pick a fight. You can’t blame me for the choices that I made! I had no idea if you were coming back. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Wait for me,” he demanded. “I told you to wait for me. I’ve been building us everything that we ever wanted but you were just so impatient,”

“How could I if you never wrote back?”

You looked up at him through teary eyes. You finally gave him the chance to look at you. You looked older, despite the garb that you were wearing. The sparkle was gone. You looked up at him. He’s different. Detached, cold, and emotionless. The blue eyes that used to convey so much emotion were gone. He wasn’t letting you in like he used to.

You both changed.

A shimmer on your neck catches his attention. It was his mother’s locket. You catch his eyes casting down on it.

“I forgot,” you croaked, looking away. “I’m supposed to give this to you.” He wasn’t your Tommy anymore.

“No, you should keep it,”

“It’s okay,” you nod, removing the locket from your person and putting it on the bed. It was the first time you’ve ever removed it and it felt like you were removing a leash. “You own it. You should give it to someone else. Someone that’s…that’s not me,”

“Y/N…love,” he tried but you shook his head. “It always belonged to you.”

“We’re not the same people anymore, Tom. You look at me and-and it’s how everyone else does,” you cried. “Like a whore. I’m selling my body and my future for a life like this. Right? I don’t want to have this anymore,” you said. “We grew apart and we’re older now. We’re not the same people,” You don’t love me anymore.

There was hell and there was a place below hell. It was where he was. How could he be so cruel to make you cry? How could he insinuate that you were all the same? How could you hint that he doesn’t love you anymore?

“I waited for you, Tommy. Waited for you to write back and at first, I felt…sad. Then, angry. You think I’m so disposable. So replaceable, right?” you asked. “I sent you letters every week. You always told me you’d protect me but you couldn’t even send me a letter telling me that you were alright. You couldn’t even protect Johnny!”

Maybe if he told you that it was Polly who intercepted those letters, you wouldn’t be so mad at him. Maybe you wouldn’t think that he’d abandon you so easily. Maybe you’d know that you were the only face that got him out of the tunnels. Maybe you’d know that it was your name that made him feel good. Like your name was some prayer he’s worthy enough to say every time that he felt like he was underground again. But how could he hurt you more than he already did?

“You were the one who replaced me,” Maybe you’d finally know that he loves you and that, if you could have just waited a little bit longer, you’d never have to worry if your hair was out of place.

“There was nothing to replace.”

Tommy brews in anger. To Polly, to you, and to himself. He couldn’t tell you that Polly intercepted your letters. He didn’t want to cut your relationship with her too.

“Fuck!” he roared. The barmaid comes in and asks Tommy if he was okay. He shrugs her off but seems intent on staying.

“Do you want me to sing for you?” she asked. He leans back, uninterested.

“Sure,”

“Happy or sad?” she asked.

“Uh, sad,”

“It’ll break your heart,” she says, smiling softly.

“Already broken,” he muttered. Already broken.

He sits there, unmoving. To be honest, he didn’t know why he was so mad at you. He was truly, utterly, and irrevocably alone now that you were gone. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to being alone. He prefered it sometimes. Maybe it’s because he always expected for the two of you to be alone together. Like you always were.

The fear of being unknown to you scares him. You’ve always known him—his whole heart and his whole soul. You’ve always known him but now, you’re gone. You’ll never know him the way you knew him. You were too different now and it rips through him like nothing else. You’ll never be there for him like you did. He’ll never know you like he did once. He could never pinpoint it but he hates how he was never enough for you. If only he could provide, if he could only protect, if only…

Here he thought he’d finally have a wink of sleep after four years.

You were on the phone with your husband after Tommy stormed out in anger last night. You needed to be comforted, to be told that you were right and that everyone else was wrong. It was one of the few luxuries you allowed yourself when you were with Tommy but you were positive that you’ve lost him now.

“Are you alright?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. “I can always come down there, you know,”

“I know,” you nodded. “I just miss you,”

“You do?” You could tell that that inflated his ego. “If it’s any consolation, I missed you too,”

“Do you think…do you think you can be here for the funeral?” you asked before you could even stop yourself. Why were you bringing him here when Tommy was around? Were you bringing him here out of spite? To make Tommy what? Jealous? But then again, was it a sin to ask for comfort from your husband? Tommy would never understand. He was quick to tell you what he thought of you yesterday. It was the first time he did it but you couldn’t get it out of your head. If to him, you were a whore, then a whore you’d be.

It was the only thing you were good at anyway.

“Of course,” he nodded. “This thing with Solomons is just shit work anyway. I’ll be there the day before. Will that be alright?”

“Yes,” you whispered. Are you really willing to let him inside the fort you’ve built with Tommy? “I lost my mom’s locket today and I…”

“You did?” he asked. He knew how important that locket was to you. You begged him to not take it off during your wedding. If only he knew. He bought you jewels but you never wore another necklace. “We can get you another one. Something that’s even more beautiful than the one you had.”

“I suppose so,” you sighed. “I love you,”

“I love you too.”

And you weren’t sure if you were still lying.

Simon arrives at your house sometime in the morning, before the sun rises. It was his first time seeing your house—being in your house. It was a small, shabby home with flowers. Have you always liked flowers? One of the servants opened the door for him and he entered. Poor you. Did you always live like this?

He spots you reading a book on the couch when you look up at him.

“How was your trip?” You close the book and sit upright. “I hope it wasn’t horrible,”

“I’m here now,” he sits down, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. “You’ve been on my mind since you left. Is there anything I have to know?”

“I…I talked to Polly,” you confessed. The grip that he has on your waist tightens. “But we only talked about Johnny. She said that the police aren’t doing anything to know who killed him.”

“I see,”

“But I left after that. I’ve never seen her since,” you said truthfully. “I told her that we couldn’t meet again,”

“Thank you for not breaking my trust,” he said, removing his grip on you. “You know it’s for us, right?”

“Yes, I know,” you nodded. This is wrong. This is all wrong. Why were you understanding him more? Are you only agreeing with Simon because you hated Tommy at that moment? What’s the sudden change?

You were all gathered at Johnny's funeral. Simon was beside you, holding your waist protectively. Beth was a wailing mess by the coffin. They were putting him six feet under. Last night was the last time she’ll ever see Johnny’s physical body again. You were bowing your head down, trying to keep your tears away. Johnny had been the father figure and now, he’s gone too.

The ceremony ends soon enough with Simon never letting go of your body. The Shelbys have noticed. Simon was basically hounding you so you wouldn’t have to talk to others.

“I sometimes wonder if she stopped talking to us because she wanted to or if she was forced to,” Arthur said, looking at you and your husband. Ada was looking at Polly. They were the only ones who knew. They both agreed to never tell a soul because of how messy things could be. Tommy would wage a war if it concerned you. “The question is why is she letting him?”

Tommy walks to where you were. He clears his throat to make himself known. He watches your figure become rigid. Simon was looking at him, his hand still on your waist. If he could shoot this prick’s hand for even laying a hand on you—

“I’m Tommy Shelby,” he starts. “I just decided to come by and offer a quick greeting to your wife.”

“Of course, Mr. Shelby,” Simon replied, his voice was strained and you were scared. Terrified. “Y/N didn’t tell me about you. Have you, darling?” There was a threat in his voice.

“Oh,” you nod, licking your lips. Your voice was wavering. “Mr. Shelby i-is someone I knew when I was a child, darling. He left for the war and…and…”

“We haven’t seen each other since,” he finishes. “I wish we could talk more,” Tommy added, confirming what he already thought. He didn’t spare you a glance and if he did, he didn’t make a show of it. “Mr. Coventry. Y/N,” he bowed, taking your gloved hand and kissing your knuckles. He walks away, leaving Simon’s anger and your anxiety behind him.

Simon didn’t speak to you on the way back. You tried but he only dismissed you with a cold shoulder. When you arrived home, he dragged you by the arm to the living room. You watched while the servants dispersed to give you some privacy. It was funny how they always pretended that they knew nothing.

“Do you really think I’m fucking stupid?” he roared, his loud voice vibrating the walls of your home. “You talked to Polly Gray but didn’t meet Tommy. At all,”

“You have to believe me, Simon. I never…it’s my first time seeing him again!” you pleaded, scared for Tommy’s life—scared for yours. Your arm hurts but you have bigger problems right now. What was a little bruise anyway? “I didn’t even know if he was still alive,”

“Can you shut the fuck up?” he asked. “It’s like everything that you’re saying are…are lies! I gave you everything,” he spits. “I gave you and your friends money. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be in that fucking brothel fucking some twat who could never afford everything that I’m giving you. Is that what you want? Do you want to go back there?”

“Simon,” you tried. “I swear, I didn’t know he was still alive. Polly never told me. I—“

“Liar!” he says, stepping closer to you. He grasps your chin tightly, your head unmoving at the pressure. “I bought you. Don’t you dare fucking disrespect me. I own you,”

“Simon, please…” you cried. “I swear to you I didn’t…”

“Shut up,” he spits. “You’re fucking disgusting,”

He shoves you to the floor and you cry. He leaves without looking at you. He didn’t apologise for what he did. It was the first time he showed you what you were to him. A property. You didn’t sleep that night; you were just on the balcony, looking at the docks, wondering what would’ve happened if you had just waited.

The morning comes and you are tired. Simon just woke up and decided to stay with you on the balcony.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he whispers. He wraps his arms around your shoulders. “I’m sorry for doing that. I promise to never do that again. I was just…so angry because Tommy Shelby came to us. Do you see why you’re not allowed to be here? Why I hate it when you’re in Birmingham? These fucking rats have no respect,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“Simon, you said things,” you whispered, looking up at him. Tears stained your cheeks. Everything that he said replayed inside your head over and over. What right did you have to demand his apology if he owned you? “You…”

Defeated, Simon sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “You know that I’m doing this for us. I’m sorry,”

You could only nod wordlessly, blinking away the tears before they fall again. You didn’t notice the bruising on your jaw yet. You weren’t at the brothel anymore but up to what extent are you truly free? At the end of the day, you’re still weak. You still have nothing. At the end of the day, buttering him up doesn’t matter.

BIRMINGHAM, 1912

“One day, we’ll be able to buy those fancy, black cars and drive around London as much as we want.” Tommy said. He was in his work clothes, a greasy white shirt and his shaggy hair falling in different sorts of places.

“We will?”

“Yes,” he nodded, his shoulder touching yours. You were just about to work when he pulled you away. He asked if you wanted to come with him to The Cut for a little while and you agreed, finding it hard to say no to him. “I’ll get you one and then, I’ll get you a horse.”

“Don’t forget the house with a big lawn,” you giggled.

“How could I forget?” he asked. “I’ll buy that first,”

“Would you hate me if things don’t work out the way we want them to?” you asked. “I’m just wondering,”

“Why wouldn’t it? We’re staying together,” Tommy said, casting you a confused look.

“I mean, you’ll get a wife. I can’t live in the same house as her,” you said. “I don’t want to cause unnecessary problems for the two of you. I want her to be my friend too.”

“I’m not marrying,” he said. “Why should I marry? We come as a pair. Never one without the other. We won’t need anyone else,”

“That would be nice.”

“I get it,” he nodded. “You’re always my main priority. I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about all that yet. As long as you’re with me, I’ll be fine,”

“And if I’m not?”

“I won’t,”

“How are you going to do all this?” you asked. You always believed in Tommy.

“I’ll do everything,”

“You’re a man of ambition, Tommy. Did you know that you can’t have ambition without being a little dangerous?”

He ponders. He’ll deal all of his cards and fold if it came to you.

There were a million things you wanted to tell him at that moment. He does, too. He looks at you so…lovingly and so naturally that it doesn’t seem like anything anymore. Tommy really didn’t fear anything, except when it came to you. He’s scared to tell you the truth because he might change the course of things. He’s scared to never fulfil all of his promises to you. He’s scared that he’ll never amount to anything other than a greasy boy that you took care of.

He doesn’t say any of this, though, so he just smokes slow.

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

“I have to do something about it,” Tommy told his brothers, taking a swig of his Irish whiskey. He was composed but his mind was running at a speed that he couldn’t quite catch up on. Were you happy in your marriage?

“Tom, it’s better if you could just let her go,” Arthur replied. “It’s not my place, hm? But we saw them yesterday. Maybe it’s for the best,”

“It’s not,” Stoic as ever, he looked ahead.

“It’s a bad idea…” his older brother tried. “You’re fighting against a king. You’re not—“

“Why is everyone telling me that I can’t do anything? Why?” he asked. “I hardly recall asking for your permission, Arthur. You and Polly have been telling me what I can and can’t do.”

“Tommy, think about it. With the fucking guns and taking on this whole…thing with her. It’s too big. So, just let it go, eh? You’ll get yourself killed,” John added. He knew of Tommy’s affections for you. Hell, he knew what Tommy meant. John discreetly watched you and your husband. You couldn’t maintain eye contact, you couldn’t speak freely without a stutter. It was so different from the Y/N that he used to know but Tommy couldn’t be persuaded. He was living on the edge of life in the war that it didn’t matter to him if he died or not. He’s free from the fear of death; he could do whatever he wanted.

“I’m a man of ambition. You can’t have ambition without being a little dangerous,”

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Tommy feels like the world was caving in. Fuck. He always hated sleeping, no matter how much he craved it. The darkness of his room and his closed eyes reminds him of the darkness of the tunnels. The walls and the tightness of the closed spaces; the unknown waiting on the other side. The lives he lost, the blood that his comrades spilled. He sits up, he hates how he couldn’t sleep because he’s always hearing the gunshots and the bombs in France. He hates being weak. Things were never the same and he so desperately wanted it to be. He couldn’t breathe—couldn’t think. He couldn’t see the faint lamp that burned on his bedside table. The ringing in his ears doesn’t subside. It was just fucking dark.

He looks over his bedside table and reaches for your picture. You always seemed to calm him no matter where he went. No matter what he does, you always seem to ground him.

“Y/N,” he whispered, taking a swig of his whiskey. As if that would just conjure you. He was sometimes convinced that your picture was an apparition of the time when everything was quieter. When his world had no guns and bombs. When you two were together. He frowns, taking his head in between his hands and cries.

If only he was stronger. If only he was rich. If only he could fulfil all of the promises he gave you. If only.

If there was anything he regretted, it was how angry he was when he went to your old house for your first meeting. He’s been waiting to be graced by your smile for years but he couldn’t control the anger that brewed inside him. He was so guarded after the war. But those guards seem to crumble around you, leaving him defenceless and vulnerable like a child.

A knock on his door arouses him. It was currently just before the sunrise; that hazy blue period that calms him before everyone else wakes. He checked from his window outside but there was nothing. Another knock comes and he sighs, going downstairs to check. He puts his gun behind him. He opens the door and it reveals you.

You were shaking like a leaf when his eyes landed on your figure.

“I don’t know…where else to…to go,” you whispered. He goes out and looks around to make sure that no one’s there. When the coast is clear, he takes your hand and guides you to the living room. He was hoping that no one heard anything.

“Do you need anything?” he asked.

“Just…water, please,”

“Did you walk all the way?”

“Yeah,” he hears you say while he pours you a glass. “Sorry for disturbing you,”

“It’s alright,” he tells you, giving you the glass.

“Yeah,” you replied, drinking the water to avoid any sort of communication with your old friend. “Tommy?”

“Hm?” he asked, sitting in front of you and it’s so different it hurts. He used to sit beside you, knee to knee. He had to blink multiple times to clear his vision—to make sure that you were actually there. “What brings you here?”

“I…I…” you couldn’t say a single word before you broke into tears. It was then when Tommy actually looked at you, the bruising on your chin, your defeated stance. He trembles in anger but forces himself to let it subside and comfort you. “S-sorry,”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, love,” he whispers, sitting beside you this time and rubbing circles on your back. “You don’t have to talk about it,”

“Would you still…would you still protect me?” you asked and you were aware of how selfish you sounded. “You’re right. I’m a-a whore,” you chuckled, looking away from him. “I know I’m being unfair…marrying Simon and then coming here…”

It appals him for you to think that he’ll ever stop protecting you. It disturbs him for letting you think that way because of one argument.

Your chin was quivering as you tried to form a coherent sentence.

“I thought…I thought I was free but he laid a hand on me,” you tried. “Gripped my chin and called me his property,”

You told yourself that it wasn’t Tommy’s fault.

“All because you talked to me during the funeral,” you whispered. You couldn’t stop yourself and Tommy couldn’t stop himself from the emotions that linger. It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault that you loved him.

“Let’s run away,” It’s all his fault. All his fault that he loved you.

“Tommy…” you whispered, shaking your head. “Did you know…did you know why I stopped talking to you?” you asked him. He didn’t. Maybe the reason why he’s so angry with you was because he didn’t know. “When you were in France, he told me that if I continue any form of communication with the Shelbys…he’ll locate you and your brothers and have the three of you killed.” You reveal to him. “You always said you’ll protect me but I wanted to protect you too.”

Your broken voice was something that he’ll never forget. Your fragile figure was something that he’ll never remove from his brain. You were…miserable. How could you let yourself be miserable for his sake? How could Simon let you cry? How could he break you? You were so strong, the strongest he’s ever known.

“I will kill him,”

“Tommy, no,” you whimpered. “I’m here to tell you that…that the best way to protect me is to forget about me,”

“You can’t do that to me,” Tommy replied, his voice stern. He was trying so, so hard. “Not when I waited to come home for four years.”

“It’s the best way,” you pleaded. “You can go start a family or…or do something else but if you really want to protect me, you’ll forget about me,”

You were so defeated, your figure curled to your heart like you were protecting yourself from everyone. Tommy could see the stutter of your body while you tried to control everything.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he tried, blinking the tears away but failing. His resolve was crumbling; popping the joints on his knuckles to ground him. It was then he noticed your nail beds, peeled and crusted with dried blood. You must have been thinking about it for so long. “You’re not giving me a choice here, love,” You must have been hurting.

“He’ll kill you, Tom. I wouldn’t be able to take it if I am the reason why your body’s thrown at The Cut.” you told him. “I let you go once without knowing for sure that you’ll come back alive. I’ll make sure that this time, you are.”

“So that’s it, eh?” he asked. “Your bastard husband threatens my life and you let him control you.” he licks his lips.

“I’m sorry, Tom,” you told him. “That's all I could do. You’re a man…you could have the world. I’m a woman and I can’t have anything unless I make it. This is me making it.” This is me making sure that I’ll never have to think about you.

You left in the wee hours of the morning and Tommy lets you go without a fight. He thought that he was the one doing the protecting, when you’ve been protecting him all along. You were his most tender wound. Battle scars from France don't compare to the pain he’s feeling in the darkness of the house. Should he run after you? Should he heed your advice? What if he kills Simon? Will you be free then?

“Her husband’s dealing with Alfie Solomons,” he tells everyone during a family meeting. “I’ll deal with Solomons myself,”

“You’re waging a war that is bigger than all of us, Tommy,” Arthur said.

“I’m not asking for approval,” he only replied, his voice was monotonous; suppressing his emotions as much as he could. He swallows. “Information about Y/N’s home life has reached me. She told me that the best way to protect her is to forget about her.” He confessed.

“Well, shit,” Ada replied. “Surely…”

“Surely, I won’t.” he said, voice stern and determined. “I’ll deal all of my cards if I have to. Do you get that?”

“Tommy, it’s a bad idea. She’s right. With the fucking inspector on our throats and Simon Coventry…you’ll get yourself killed.”

“I have decided,”

“Then, what’s all of this for, then?”

“Just letting you know.” he says, looking at everyone’s face of disapproval.

When he exits the Garrison, Polly runs after him. She was determined to let him let you go for your safety. It was a sticky situation that Tommy was putting himself in. A semblance of power doesn’t mean that he’s powerful but he couldn’t seem to understand that.

“Tommy, do you want to save her because you want to or is it because you have to prove yourself to you?” she asked him, grasping his arm.

“Polly—“

“Do you love her because you do or do you only think you do because you need her? It’s alright to let her go, Tom. You have to realise that maybe she’s correct,” she reasoned. “The more you move, the more she’s constricted—“

“You took her away from me, Polly,” he spits. “How can I not love her when I need her beside me to even get a wink of sleep? Her picture was all I looked at in France. She is the reason why I’m alive—why I’m here. You took her away from me and I am taking her back. Does that look like love to you?” he demanded, shaking her arm away.

“You want to know what blinds a man as smart as you, Tom? Love,” she says. “You’re making things—“

“So I am blind,” he shrugs. “I vowed to protect her and that is a vow that I’ll take to the grave with me, Pol. You could help or not. It wouldn’t matter either way but you owe it to me to try. At least,”

A beat passes, Polly doesn’t speak. He nods to excuse himself, walking away as the blind man.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m so glad you’re still here.

Don’t forget to reblog / leave a comment if you liked it!

PART 4

TAGLIST: @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius @trixie23 @everythingelseisextra @majesticcmey @liveat1am @dumb-wh @denabp16 @yvonna-chan @goldensunflowe-r @therosabel @hunnibearrr @dazecrea @daddyslittleattentionwhore @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @dang-shawty-okay @dasia21 @tsenthusiast1920 @aces-tattooartist @panda-luminary @ttaechi @spencerrxids @i-heart-food @fudge13 @affabletimelady @heartcereql @ce1iat @notalxx @1800-queen-trash

#tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #tommy shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #protection!tommy

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top-egg-1337 · 5 months

Text

just wanted to throw my hat in with everyone else immeasurably pissed off about the Gale section of That Interview.

Yes this is all projection, no I don't fucking care. CW for suicidal ideation etc etc

Gale killing himself is not the "right ending". Not only is it ridiculous to suggest that such a concept exists for a game with as many permutations as BG3, it's also blatantly affirming that suicide is A Good Choice, Actually, for people with disabilities (including neurodivergence and mental illnesses).

Like Gale, I talk way too much about the things I'm passionate about to the point where people find me annoying. Like Gale, I fumble social interactions a lot. Like Gale, I have never had many friends. Like Gale, if I fall for someone, it happens fast and I'm super awkward about it until I feel secure with them. Like Gale, I have made mistakes that felt catastrophic. Like Gale, my continued survival relies on assistance from others and this makes me feel like a burden. Like Gale, I have spent extended periods of my life thinking I was better off dead.

If any of these ring true for you, first of all...

Fuck, lads(gender neutral), we're really playing through life on honour mode huh? it couldn't be fucking easy...

Secondly, asking for help, and being vulnerable enough to accept that help, is a bigger show of strength than Minsc climbing out of a mimic.

Thirdly, you really, truly, are not better off dead. If you read that and think I'm lying to make you feel better, I get it. I've felt that way countless times. But there are countless moments for your life to improve, and those moments die the moment you do.

I didn't think I'd make it to 20. I'm 27 now. I'm married, and we're in the process of buying a house. We have a delightfully grumpy dog who we recued 4 years ago. He's 14 now.

It's still hard. This year felt impossible at times. I thought I'd finally got my life on track after starting ADHD meds, started my first ever full-time job, and had to quit after 3 months - 2 of those months being on sick leave.

I felt mortified. Everything I'd worked for crumbled, what even was the point in trying to improve myself if I couldn't trust my body or mind to keep their shit together when it mattered most?

But here I am. And weirdly, I'm maybe the happiest I've ever been, despite being in the middle of months of medical investigations where cancer is a real possibility.

I often felt like it was my destiny to kill myself.

Fuck destiny.

As Elminster said:

Be a moon unto yourself. Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will.

#cw sui #cw depression #cw sui ideation #cw ableism #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 spoilers #yeah im projecting so what

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carcarcraziiv2 · 4 months

Note

I LOVE YOUR JEALOUS APHELIOS AHH. I keep re-reading it!! Can I request a jealous kayn? NSFW or SFW is fine :3

THAT IS SO SWEET, ILYSM FOR TELLING ME THIS <3 <3 <3. Truly, it makes me happy to know people actually ENJOY what I am writing! Gives me a real boost to keep goin', ya know?!

And you literally bet your ass I will, Kayn is my ngjfhdsgjkh just my dirty lil' guy and I love him so gd much.

THIS is going to be NSFW. There will be warnings. I can't NOT do NSFW when I'm doing a jealousy trope. On god though? I had a random urge to make it soft Kayn so.... enjoy :3

P.S. SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU LOVE IT <3

18+ MDNI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~18+ MDNI

TW: Jealousy, violence (literally just a punch), kind of mental illness? (Idk how I honestly classify Rhaast in this AU, but just in case), sex, masked man doing to do (ooo c;).

AS ALWAYS! Enter at your own risk. ILYSM <3

18+ MDNI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~18+ MDNI

Jealous Kayn

The concert was a success, as per usual. The crowd was dispersing, however a few guys stuck around in the V.I.P area you chose to sit in to support your boyfriend, Kayn.

You chose to help the venue workers begin cleanup duty as you waited for Kayn to come retrieve you. There were round tables scattered about, people having left their empty cups and trash all over the place.

"You don't have to help clean up you know," a friendly young man came over to where you had a trash bag held open, scooping litter into it. "Patrons don't generally stick around for this part. I'm Jack, what's your name?"

"Oh, I don't really mind at all. I travel with the band, so I try to make a habit of helping out," you smile. "I'm y/n, nice to meet you."

"Travel with the band, huh? So do you like help w- whoa! You okay?," Jack starts, before you trip over the bag you're holding in front of you and nearly fall.

Luckily, he was there to catch you so you didn't make any more of a fool of yourself.

Unbeknownst to you though, Kayn had just walked in to fetch you. His eyes widened in shock before his brow furrowed, his features turning to a scowl as he witnessed you in another man's arms.

You hadn't even noticed his presence yet, not until you felt a force lift you up by one of your arms so that you were standing tall again.

"Oh, Kayn! The show was gre-," you don't get to finish your sentence before Kayn is throwing a punch at Jacks face. The only thing you can do in response is drop your mouth open in shock.

"Whoa what the fuck man!," the friendly venue worker shouts, his hand coming up to cup his face. You rush over to him, noticing Kayn about to throw another in his direction. You step in front of Jack just in time for the blow not to hit him, Kayn barely stopping before accidentally hitting you.

"Knock it off, you idiot!" You holler, pushing your boyfriend in his chest. He stumbles back slightly, taken aback by your defense of this man who clearly just had his hands all over you.

Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest as you watched his face turn from shocked to a scowl. He was clearly upset at you, but you were too upset with him to give a shit.

"Just go back to the hotel, Kayn. I'll find my own way back." Kayn stood there for a moment, his hands balled into fists as he seemed to study you for a reaction.

When you didn't falter your gaze, he conceded.

"Fine. Have fun with him," he snarled, whipping around and stomping away.

As you rushed back over to Jack to apologize and offer him assistance, you were unaware that Kayn still watched from the shadows of the small hallway in which he came from.

You idiot, Rhaast scolded him. "Shut up," he responded aloud. You let your emotions control the situation, you fool. Now our love is embarrassed and mad at us. Kayn hit himself on the head, then smoothed down his hair. "Fuck, you're right," he sighed. Although he knew he should go apologize to both of you, he felt defeated- disappointed in himself. He was so scared of losing you he made a minor situation worse. Not to mention, Yone was certainly going to hear about the incident from the venue management.

At that point, the only thing he could think to do was follow your order and return to the hotel.

To your surprise, Kayn made sure one of the guys stuck around to bring you back, too.

~~~~~

Yone was the one to take you to the hotel, silent for the entire drive until you arrived at your desitination.

"Go make up," he said, unlocking the door. "Kayn's mood will surely get worse after our conversation tomorrow."

"Ugh, thanks for the ride Yone," you sighed, thanking him as you left the vehicle. You entered the hotel, taking the elevator up to the room the two of you were sharing.

Steeling your nerves, you sifted through your pockets for the key card, taking it out and unlocking the door.

You weren't sure what you were expecting upon entry, but it was definitely not what greeted you.

Kayn sat shirtless on the patio, a lit cigarette smoldering in the ash tray, his body glimmering slightly from the moonlight caressing his skin.

And when you looked at his face... you saw it adorning his Rhaast mask.

Whatever edgy pity party shit that he is pulling, I don't care. I am staying in here. You dropped your phone and belongings onto the counter, silently scowling at him until his head slowly turned your direction.

You always liked his Rhaast side. So protective and levelheaded. Although very dominant sometimes, he always made your comfort a priority.

He stood, opened the sliding glass door, entered, then shut it behind him without turning around.

"Y/N," he said plainly, putting his hands in his pockets as he awaited your response.

"Yes?" You said, carelessly sassy with your tone as you looked anywhere other than the sculpted man prowling towards you. "What do you want?"

"You know I'm on your side, little one," Rhaast says as he approaches. You took a step back in unison with each of his until you were undoubtedly trapped between him and the white hotel wall. His body radiated heat that seeped into your skin, and you breathed deep to calm yourself.

"Ka- Rhaast. I don't know what to say. What happened earlier was really fucked up."

"I know, I know. Don't worry- I gave him a piece of my mind. That idiot never treats you right," his hand reaches up, gently caressing your face before lifting your chin to look at him.

You can't help your brow furrowing, lip pouting.

"Kayn doesn't treat me badly... he just read the situation wrong."

Checkmate, asshole. Kayn hisses to Rhaast. In return, he takes off his mask, revealing his wild but soft eyes. The contradiction between the obvious curiosity in his gaze and the demanding flicker of arousal made the muscles in your stomach tighten.

"He almost hit you, do you understand? Know's better than to endanger our love like that," his expression was so pained you could only imagine the war that was waging in his head right now.

"It's okay, love... really," you sighed. "I just didn't want any more violence to happen, and it seemed inevitable unless I intervened the way that I did. I know you- or Kayn- would never hit me. And I always know you treat me right."

Rhaast pouts his lower lip, and you have sudden overwhelming urge to kiss him. It wasn't your intention; you really did want to talk about everything... but you just couldn't stop yourself.

The kiss was tender, soft. He let out a sigh when you did it, almost a whimper- so out of character for him. It was almost as if he was relieved. He knew that you had forgiven him. You didn't feel so trapped between him and the wall anymore when Rhaast's hands gently pulled you closer to him to deepen the kiss.

"Thank you for always protecting me, Rhaast. Kayn, I love you," you smile against his lips, your hands touching his face. He pulls away only for a moment to look you in the eyes before grabbing you around your ass and lifting you up. Instinctively you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you towards the bed.

Holding onto the back of his neck, you squirmed in his arms as the he lowered you onto the soft cotton bedding. The bed was cool under the fabric of your clothes, a delicious contradiction to the heat radiating between you and Kayn.

The two of you bite and suck and play amongst each other's lips, your body gradually becoming more and more aroused. When you look back into his eyes, you can tell Kayn has returned.

"I'm sorry, my love, but I can't control myself when it comes to you," he says, a shy but sly smile taking over the canvas of his face. He looks so cheeky, trying to get you to forgive him still even when you're sure he knows your hardly angry anymore.

Now you're just turned on.

"I understand- I can't say I wouldn't have reacted the same way... Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you make it up to me?" You smile back at him, tracing a finger down the soft skin of his muscular bare chest. He tilted his head in response, raising a brow. His body towered over you as the two of you lay there, encompassing you in his thrilling aura.

"You dirty little thing," he cooed before nuzzling his face into your neck, his wet tongue dragging along your skin before placing a soft nibble. You whimpered at the feeling as he continued scraping his teeth along your flesh.

"I would destroy everything for you, my love," his voice is sweet like a summer wind, warm emotions ruffling straight through to your heart. Kayn was everything- the sun, the moon, the stars. In this moment before you share the most intimate of actions, you felt so close to him.

He was being so open after the events that had occurred. You realized perhaps Rhaast was his way of communicating the things he didn't really want to say, and it made you feel warm inside that he was comfortable enough with you to share that side of him.

Your thoughts came to an abrupt stop when Kayn sat up to help you out of your clothes, removing his own swiftly. Your mouth hung open at the sight of him removing the black leather belt from his pants, the corded muscles in his arms flexing as his fingers fumbled with the buckle. When he looked back up at you with a feline gaze, you swore you could see flickers of Rhaast.

He bends, crawling over your squirming frame. The air was thick with tension as he began caressing your body with his large hands. They were rough on your soft skin as he pinched and prodded your nipples, leaning down slowly to suck them one by one.

There was this thing about Kayn- he never stopped watching you. Always looking at your expression, gauging how certain things made you feel. You were so enthralled by the way he looked at you while pleasing you that that alone had your heat rising.

He made his way down your body, peppering kisses and bites as he traveled. Once he reached your front, you hissed in a breath at the first feeling of his tongue on you.

He licked and sucked, his warm tongue caressing everywhere perfectly as he serviced you.

"Fuck, Kayn that feels so good," you moaned, grabbing his hair and tugging- to which he responded with a growl. You knew how that made him feel, and you wanted nothing more than for him to fuck you in that moment. Sure, his mouth felt great, but you knew his cock would feel even better.

He almost became feral, you noticed, as he ceased his movements and sat up, grabbing you and pulling your legs towards him so you were at the edge of the bed.

"You drive me fuckin' crazy baby," his voice gravely, he gripped his thick member, stroking it a few times while looking at you through thick lashes. "I'm going to fuck you, now. Show you who you belong to, right my love?"

"Please Kayn, P-Please fuck me now," you whimpered, your cheeks warm and flushed, a hand caressing your front while the other rested idly by your head.

"I love it when you beg. Only for me, baby. Yeah- fuck," he stammered a bit as he pressed his tip to your entrance, watching his dick become engulfed slowly by your hole. "You're always so gods damned tight for me."

The feeling of his dick had your brain melting, your hand stopping for a moment. Kayn noticed, stopped his movements, and gave you a look.

"Did I tell you to stop, love?" All you could do in response between whimpers was shake your head, and you moved your hand back to keep pleasing yourself as he started picking up the pace. "Gooood, good fucking b/g."

He continued his pace, grunting every few seconds in sync with his thrusts. You rolled your eyes back into your head as you felt yourself climb higher and higher. Kayn leaned down and kissed you passionately, biting your lip as he released you.

"Cum for me, love. I'm not going to last much longer with you gripping me like this. He hissed in his breath as you shuddered and cried out, reaching your climax. Your vision blurred, a few tears dripping down your face as you gripped his forearms.

"Fuck baby- Fuck I'm gonna cum," Kayn groans, whipping his head back. "Take my cum baby, that's it, fuuuuuuck." His hips buck against you as he finds his release and lets out shuttering breaths as he slows to a stop.

He pulls out slowly, leaving you feeling empty but content as he pulls you up further onto the bed and collapses onto the plush mattress.

"Maybe I should get jealous more often if this is how the night ends up," he smiles, and you roll your eyes in response.

"Maybe I shouldn't have rewarded you for that behavior," you giggle, and he scoffs. "Next time let's talk about it first, unless the person you're jealous of actually looks like he is doing something bad?"

"Yeah yeah, I know," now it was his turn to roll his eyes, returning to his normal sassy self for a moment before softening again. "I really am sorry, Y/N. I love you."

"I know you are. Oh and by the way, you may want to save the rest of your apologies for your talk with Yone tomorrow..."

"Shit," was all he responded, shaking his head. "Great... Whatever, he'll get over it. He loves me."

"Yeah, so do I Kayn. So do I," you smile, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight my love."

"Goodnight, baby." He responds, and as when you fall asleep you dream of Kayn and Rhaast and the lovely life you share. Even through the ups and downs he will always be your everything.

#Heartsteel x Reader #Heartsteel Kayn x Reader #Kayn x Reader #League of Legends x Reader #League x Reader #LoL x Reader

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verdantcrimson · 17 days

Text

Kanna Natsu Idol Story - 2

Written by: Akira

Season: Spring

TL: verdantcrimson

Proofread: @revuestarlight

[Two years since ES was established. In the ES building infirmary.]

Kanna: ……

Hinata: Goood morning!

Yuta: Today, we’re thinking of playing a hidden camera prank on the talk of the town, child prodigy, Kanna Natsu, when he wakes up!

Hinata: Because both of us in 2wink love pranks!

Yuta: —and since we've been in the business for the while, the agency was like, “C'mon, show your junior how things work around here. You guys love that sort of stuff, right?”

Hinata: There's a difference between playing a prank and bullying, though!

Yuta: But we can't disobey the agency. That's just life, y'know? We've gotta work hard and pull this off in order to maintain our character image.

Hinata: Why do you seem weirdly pumped about this, Yuta-kun?

Yuta: This guy is Kanna Natsu, y'know…… Everyone's making a fuss about what a genius he is, but he's still just a brat, and seeing him get more attention than us pisses me off.

Yuta: We've gotta punish this ill-mannered newbie, don't we?

Hinata: Whoops, it's getting hard to keep my brother's wickedness in check these days, yknow~?

Hinata: Ah, but he's acting like this on purpose because that's the kind of image he's decided on! Yuta-kun is actually a good kid!

Hinata: All of you watching at home, please don't misunderstand!

Yuta: Hell yeah, that's the perfect excuse. Now, no matter how cruel and inhumane I behave, I can just say it's because my agency or my producer told me to play that sort of character.

Yuta: I can use that to justify my bullying. Hehehe.

Hinata: How wicked… Looking at you these days makes your big brother worry, Yuta-kun.

Hinata: …..Hm?

Kanna: ……

Kanna: ……?

Hinata: I knew this would happen. Look, look, Yuta-kun! Natsu-kun is awake already!

Yuta: Huh, No way. He looked like he was fast asleep— Maybe we made too much of a racket?

Hinata: What should we do? Should we abort mission? I didn't really want to do an unfunny and old-school prank like that anyways, so I'm fine with it.

Yuta: It sounds like you were making a fuss on purpose so that the plan would fail.

Kanna: Good morning.

Hinata: Ah, yup. Morning. You sure slept well.

Kanna: Yes, thank you. Though sleeping isn't something I do for leisure.

Kanna: I don't get the opportunity to sleep when I'm occupied with research, so I try to sleep as much as I can whenever I find time.

Kanna: Also, if I pretend to be asleep, everyone will leave me alone.

Hinata: Oh, so you were just pretending to be asleep? Then, did you realize we were trying to prank you?

Kanna: Yes. Though, even when I'm asleep, one half of my brain stays awake.

Yuta: Are you a dolphin?

Hinata: That's so genius-core.

Kanna: I think anyone could do it with enough training.

Yuta: Tsk tsk tsk. It's exactly because all that training is so tedious that nobody would ever be able to make a name for themselves as a genius.

Kanna: I see. I understand now.

Kanna: I think that if anyone focused all their efforts on a single thing for approximately a year, they could become an expert in that field.

Kanna: Only a child like myself would be able to concentrate on a single thing for as long as they want to, correct?

Kanna: Any adult, I mean, essentially everyone, requires time to eat, play, socialize, and maintain their physical and mental health.

Kanna: It is quite difficult to concentrate on a single thing.

Kanna: That is why they fall short of success. Yes, people who are able to do that to some extent from the very beginning— Only they are successful and lauded as geniuses.

Kanna: If everyone is limited to only being able to spend a fraction of their time on their efforts, then only those who are privileged are able to succeed and win.

Kanna: That is the reason, correct? It's logical. I can understand this.

Hinata: I've been wondering, what on earth is this kid going on about…?

Yuta: You like making theories about other people based on their behavior and then feeling like you've understood them, don't you?

Kanna: Yes. Because I'm around that age. That's adolescence, I suppose.

Hinata: Yeah, well I don't believe that! If you treated any older kid like a ‘teenage brat’ they'd get angry and rebel. They'd never admit that they're going through puberty!

Kanna: Maybe that was just the case for you, Yuta Aoi.

Hinata: … Oh? Huh? Ermm?

Kanna: It's easier to live when you believe that your ‘normal’ and the world's ‘normal’ aren't congruent.

Kanna: I've long since given up on that sort of premise.

Kanna: I'm different from everyone else. I'm certain, nothing can be done about this.

Hinata: Ummm… I'm terribly sorry if we're boring you or something, but I think there's been a misunderstanding, so let me clear it up.

Hinata: I'm Hinata.

Yuta: And I'm Yuta.

Kanna: No.

Kanna: I know about you two. The twin idols from Cosmic Productions, 2wink.

Kanna: The two of you have changed your marketing strategy as of late, with the older brother Hinata continuing to present as a cheerful a good kid—

Kanna: —While the younger brother, Yuta, differentiates himself from his older brother by growing out his hair and selling a ‘bad kid’ image.

Kanna: That is what the established theory is.

Hinata: The established ‘theory’?

Yuta: Those are just facts.

Kanna: What are illusions?

Hinata: Huh, why'd you bring that up suddenly? What are you talking about?

Kanna: An illusion, or ‘sleight of hand’, is something that takes advantage of people's imagination.

Kanna: You make the world think that ‘the twins have differentiated their appearances and begun walking separate paths.’

Kanna: That way, you can do as much deception as you please.

Kanna: The twins that are supposedly never interchangeable, swap places in secret. Older brother becomes younger brother. Younger brother becomes older brother.

Kanna: Characteristic differences in hair length can also be accounted for using wigs and such.

Kanna: People tend to assume based on their prior knowledge, that ‘the one with longer hair must be the younger brother,’ since both brothers have similar facial features and so on.

Hinata: … Even if all of that were true, what good would it do for us to impersonate each other?

Kanna: Simply put, you two probably just enjoy those sorts of tricks.

Kanna: Furthermore, there are countless merits to being able to switch places. That is probably why having twins swap places is considered taboo, even in the most hard-core of detective novels.

Kanna: It's simply too convenient. It'd be used to forge alibis to no end, because now, anything goes.

Kanna: Additionally, if you succeed at your trivial ‘swapping places’ prank, you'd be able to make a fool of the child prodigy brat that everyone is making a fuss about, correct?¹

Kanna: You'd be able to say “That kid acts like he's a genius, but he's an oblivious idiot who couldn't even notice we switched places.”

Hinata & Yuta: ……

Kanna: 2wink is a unit comprised of a ‘good kid’ older brother and a ‘bad kid’ younger brother.

Kanna: Recently, it seems as though the two of them have truly diverged and are trying to pursue their own paths.

Kanna: That is why. Even if the younger brother was specifically requisitioned for work that would earn him points or experience as a ‘good kid’— The older brother would swap in and take his place. The reverse applies as well.

Kanna: So the two of you steadily gain experience and continue growing, correct?

Kanna: You're each trying to specialize in being a ‘good kid’ and ‘bad kid’.

Kanna: Waiting for an opportunity, with nobody any wiser.

Yuta: ……

Kanna: I don't have much interest in anything. However, I find your impressive tactics very interesting.

Kanna: I'm not trying to get in your way. However, by exposing your actions like this, I can render your footage unfit for broadcast.

Kanna: Even if what I said just now might be untrue.

Kanna: If the world's people begin to doubt you, you'll have a hard time operating. They might begin to think things like “Maybe they've swapped places?” or “Are they playing tricks?”

Kanna: All the earnest and serious people of the world will begin to view you poorly.

Kanna: That probably would not be desirable for you.

Kanna: I apologize. Being filmed and broadcasted in my sleep is quite embarrassing.

Kanna: That is why I have taken these preventative measures to keep it from occurring. Please understand that I bear no ill-will towards the two of you.

Kanna: That is all. I'm going to go back to bed now. Goodnight.

Kanna: Zzz, zzz.

Yuta: ……

Hinata: … He ended up being the real deal.

Yuta: Yeah. I figured it was just the usual hype you see on TV and magazines.

Hinata: (But really, I never thought he'd notice we ‘switched’.)

Yuta: (Yup. I thought nobody could tell. But this kid saw through us, probably just through a glimpse of our activities on the news or on the internet.)

Hinata: (To top it all off, just in case— He made sure we wouldn't get in trouble even if we did air it, by following it up with “what I said might be untrue.”)

Yuta: (He didn't want to inconvenience us, so he acted considerately.)

Hinata: (This brat sure acts full of himself. I ought to scribble on his face while he sleeps.)

Yuta: (Give it a rest already... Let sleeping gods lie, Yuta-kun.)²

Hinata: (You're such a good kid, Hinata-kun.)

Yuta: (And you’re a bad kid, right, Yuta-kun?)

Kanna: Zzz, zzz…♪

Hinata: (This kid might be incredible— more than anyone could imagine.)

Yuta: (But his sleeping face is adorable, just like any other normal kid's would be, y’know)

Translation notes

He's repeating back the same phrases that Hinata and Yuta used to describe him while he was 'sleeping'..

The original saying is '触らぬ神に祟りなし' which is means the same thing as 'let sleeping dogs lie', but I retained the 神 portion because I figured it might be a fun play on Kanna's first name '神無'

#Kanna Natsu #Hinata Aoi #Yuta Aoi

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so-mordor-itis · 1 year

Text

Something Beautiful, Something Grand

Dedicated to @uhlunaro and @cweampier because I kept getting ideas reading your posts. Enjoy!!

WC: 1.5k

Taglist: @amatxs , @izuniias , @airanke , @favouritereadings , @azul-marie , @justonemore-fic , @spookluckpuck , @unhealthy-leon-brainrot , @honeyfict, @konigbabe

He's beautiful.

The thought hits you so fast that you almost jump out of your seat. You blink, eyes casting to the cup of coffee you just ordered. You feel yourself blink a few more times before realizing you did, indeed, just think that out of the blue. Think that Leon Kennedy is beautiful.

Because he is.

"You alright?" Leon asks, obviously noticing you're a little frazzled. Your insides begin to panic because oh God, he's looking this way, looking into your eyes, searching. He's caring, and that makes this so much worse.

You clear your throat. "Oh, yeah, just thinking. You say it a bit too fast, and your voice is a higher pitch. He notices.

"What about?"

You don't want to look him in the eye, but you force yourself to. There is no need to create more suspicion or concern. You shrug, acting like it's nothing. "Just wondering when the rain will let up."

"Yeah, it's been pouring, huh?"

You feel relief race through your veins, and you look outside. It probably isn't going to be anytime soon, but some part of you doesn’t want it to stop. You love the pitter-patter of the droplets striking the roof and the window. It almost distracts you from what your original thought was.

Then it hits you again as your eyes travel from the window to him. Leon is sitting across from you, taking a sip of his own cup of coffee–black, you honestly want to call him insane. His blue eyes linger outside. It pops into your mind again. He's beautiful. He really is.

Your face is hot, and suddenly you want to leave. It won't go away, no matter how hard you compel it to. No matter what you say to yourself. It stays in the back of your mind like a barb stuck to an animal's leg.

He's your co-worker. He's older than you. He's your superior.

You take a mental image of removing the barb with iron pliers. This has to stop here and never go anywhere moving forward.

You find yourself looking at him again, and he catches your eye for a second before you glance back at the rain.

ii.

You think it again when he offers to stay and help with dishes. You invited a few of your friends for dinner, not wanting to be alone that night, and Leon ended up staying longer than anyone else. You often found yourself talking to him more, learning about him more. For a moment, you almost didn't think about that day in the coffee shop, but then it hit you again.

He's beautiful.

He isn't even doing anything special. Leon has his sleeves rolled up a little, showing his arms. His biceps are littered with smaller scars. A longer scar trails up to where his sleeve cuts off, and you wonder how he had gotten that one. If it was painful, if he even felt it. His arm is moving as he scrubs, and your eyes follow its movements.

"My eyes are up here," he jests. You flinch, and he giggles. (He giggles.) Your cheeks burn, and you hope he doesn't notice the way you are fidgeting with your hands. Leon has a habit of being extremely observant when you don't want him to be. It's like he has a radar of when people are bothered or uncomfortable or ill.

"No, I was just uh," you flicker through your mind for an excuse. "Thinking."

"Seems like you're always doing that lately." He comments, and your cheeks are even hotter somehow.

"How'd you get that scar?" You ask, changing the subject. Leon stops scrubbing, and your heart drops, thinking you rubbed salt in an old wound. Maybe he received it from Raccoon City. Oh God, that's probably where he got it.

"Ah, that's an old one," Leon says, going back to scrubbing. "When Graham was president, his daughter got kidnapped to Spain. A crazy cult worshiped parasites and wanted to implant her with one and then send her back with it. I got this from when one of the buggers cut me."

Oh, not Raccoon City.

You huff a laugh. "Sounded like fun."

"Oh, it was such a joy." He scrubs a bit harder, as if imagining the bowl in his hands is one of the parasites. "Just when Ashley and I were safe, something else came along. And then she got taken again and again."

You pat his shoulder lightly. "You poor thing."

"I'm just glad she's safe. I still call her from time to time."

You're staring again, and you hate yourself for it. He's beautiful. Leon's eyes practically sparkle no matter what emotion he's feeling, anger, sadness, happiness. It's as if his mind is a galaxy, full of stars and planets and constellations. You wanted to research them all. You always wanted to know more about him, more about his life. You always wanted to dig deeper. Yet, a part of you is scared you'll dig so deep to the point that the light from the surface will be no longer visible.

You tear your gaze from him, excusing yourself to your bathroom. You glance at the mirror and see yourself glancing back. Turning on the faucet, you splash cold water against your face in hopes of combatting your blazing cheeks.

What are you doing? What led to this moment?

You cradle your face in your hands when you come to the horrifying conclusion.

You had already dug too deep.

iii.

He's beautiful, and you're in love with him.

iii.5

He starts appearing in your dreams. He kisses you in them, hugs you until your problems are solved, and you no longer feel empty.

Then you wake up and realize you're totally and utterly fucked.

iv.

"Alright, spill it." Leon says to you. He offered to drive you home, and you reluctantly took it. The two of you sat in silence before he pulled up to your curb.

You peer at him from the corner of your eye with confusion. "Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me," Leon looks at you with tired eyes, and you feel guilty. "You know what this is about." The way he says your name stabs your gut.

"I don't." You do.

"You've been avoiding me." You were.

"No, I haven't." You suddenly get defensive. You absolutely were, and you hated it. You were avoiding him, like a little kid knowing they were in trouble, and he was the teacher who would eventually catch them. It wasn't intentional at first–work grabbed you, forcing you away from coworkers, from friends. Then you realized work could help you cope with your feelings. Then you realized you were actually avoiding your problems. A rabbit hole no one should allow themselves to tumble down.

"Leon–"

"I'm not stupid," he remarks. "You think I'm not going to notice that we're talking for so long then you suddenly stop?"

Your heart feels heavy, and dread is filling your veins. Your limbs are now concrete. There's no way you could tell him, not here, in his car that smells like him. With the way his eyes are full of hurt. Hurt from your actions.

"I'm scared." You mumble. You feel your lips trembling as the words tumble out. You can feel the weight they carry. "I'm scared, Leon, alright?"

"Scared?" His voice is suddenly softer. You can tell his mind is racing for reasons as to why, but he isn't going to find it.

"Of you," you tell him.

"Why?"

You can't tell him. You can't. You should make something up, tell him you're scared of working too much, tell him anything other than–

You grit your teeth.

Fuck it.

"I have feelings for you. That's why. I have had them since we started to actually become closer. Since you started taking interest in my life, what I do," your face is burning again, but you ignore it. "I keep having thoughts I shouldn't have."

How you want to kiss him. How you love him. How he has a way of kissing your dreams and destroying your nightmares, but it kills you inside because you have no idea if it's the same way for him.

Leon is silent for so long that you feel yourself tear up with embarrassment. The urge to leave his car is potent.

"You have a stupid way of showing it." He finally says, and your stomach coils. Leon calls your name so softly, so tenderly, you almost let those tears slip. "Did you not think, for a moment, that I wasn't also interested? Also falling for you?"

You feel his hand caress your cheek, and you wonder if he can feel how hot they are. He tilts your chin up, and your heart flips when you see his eyes shimmering. Your lip curves a little. "I guess I didn't want to get my hopes up."

Leon chuckles in a way that touches your soul. It's amazing what love could do. He was angry at you, hurt from what you did, and now he's gazing at you with such love in his eyes you could've melted into a puddle right then and there and he would still be giving you that look.

"Guess I was scared, too."

#resident evil x reader #resident evil 6 #resident evil imagines #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy imagines #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #older leon x reader #re6 leon #my writing

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joshym · 1 year

Text

Watch Me

Pairing: Josh x f!reader

Summary: You love getting to support Josh in all of his pursuits, but sometimes your anxiety gets the best of you. And knowing this, he finds the perfect way to use music to offer you comfort in a particularly anxious moment.

Word Count: 1.6k+

A/N: Josh at Lollapalooza is one of my greatest weaknesses. And him singing this song, at Lollapalooza specifically, is a huge comfort to me. I thought it only fitting to write a one shot in which he offers support to his girlfriend in a moment of anxiety. We all know he would be the most attentive boyfriend to any mental illness, and this story shows how he’d use music (you both love) to do so.

This is my first story to share on here, so I am a little nervous to post. But, I wanted to share just in case this hit home for anyone who struggles with anxiety. I seriously hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, allusions to sex, serious fluffiness.

“Just look at me. Don’t focus on anything else, just watch me. Okay, baby?”

🎶🥀🎶

You had always loved concerts. Live music ignited something in your soul that nothing else came remotely close to achieving. You loved following Josh and the boys around to their shows, seeing them do what they love and watching them succeed. You made it a point to go to as many shows as possible, and Josh loved your support. He fed off of it, always saying he performed at his best just knowing you were in the crowd. He also loved getting to see you right after each show, so full of excitement and adrenaline. You loved seeing him so happy, and you loved that you could be a small part of that joy he exuded.

The boys were gearing up to play the Lollapalooza festival in Chile this week, and you were eager to join and witness what you knew would be one of their best shows. The only issue: there are no seats at festivals, just general admission.

Yes, you loved concerts, always had. But admittedly, you avoided general admission due to your intense anxiety. You’ve struggled with your anxious thoughts for as long as you can remember. It can be quite debilitating at times.

Josh is always so attentive and understanding, constantly making sure you’re okay and not too overwhelmed. He also knows just what to do to calm you down. He knows you so well, and he knows exactly how to reassure you and help you feel safe in any situation.

Josh knew you were nervous. He told you multiple times that you didn’t have to come along this time, but you insisted. You knew he would need you there and you didn’t want to miss this magical moment for him and his brothers.

“I just worry about you, sweetheart. Your soul is too lovely to be plagued with such trouble. Really, it’s okay if you can’t put yourself through it. I’ll know you’re there in spirit, sweet girl.”

“I’m not missing this, babe. I’ll be just fine, I promise. I can’t miss this. I’m so proud of you, and it wouldn’t feel right to not be there just because I get a little overwhelmed.”

“Well, if you insist. Just promise me that if you feel the nerves rising, watch me. Just look at me. Don’t focus on anything else, just watch me. Okay, baby?”

“I do insist, and I will. I promise. And truth be told, I don’t think I’d be able to focus on anything else if I tried. You’re pretty dazzling, especially on the stage.”

“Gee whiz, what did I do to deserve the likes of you, huh? I’m quite lucky to have you, you know.”

🎶🥀🎶

The day has come. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t terrified. There’s a lot of people out there, and soon you’ll be mixed in with the eager crowd. This show wasn’t set up like the others. Usually, you’d be seated on the side of the stage on either Jake or Sam’s side. You were never fond of being backstage, as you loved being able to see them from the audience’s perspective. Each show was never short of breathtaking, and you loved being amongst all the loving and adoring fans in the safety of seated sections.

This time, your only option was a pass that gave you access to the barricade. You’d have the best view of the whole crowd, but the mind-numbing thoughts and fears were becoming a bit too much. You were so much in your head about all the things that could go wrong. There were so many people out there. So. Many. People.

You had helped Josh get ready, helping him situate his mic pack on his red velvet pants. This was by far one of your favorite looks on him and it was a welcome distraction. You’d been so excited to see him wear this outfit on stage, and you’d even dressed yourself as a perfect match to him in your own red velvet cropped vest and mini skirt adorned with jewels and a single white rose on your hip.

After getting his mic pack positioned and attached just right, he turned to you and grabbed you by the waist with a strong and intentional grasp, looking you up and down.

“Gosh, you look magnificent. I won’t be able to keep my eyes off of you.”

He leaned in to kiss you, and you relished in it. It was full of passion and love. You reciprocated, kissing him back with the same fervor. You could’ve stayed in this moment forever. He was so comforting, so reassuring.

The kiss was reluctantly broken by Josh’s warning that it was almost time to hit the stage, and almost time for you to be escorted to your spot in the mix of fans.

“Remember what I said, baby. Just watch me.” He gave you another quick peck on the lips, followed by a wink.

You were taken to your spot, and the nerves were hitting. You felt so confined and restricted. You were counting each second until your beloved graced the stage, eager to lay your eyes on him and feel the instant relief you knew that would bring.

Finally, here they come.

Jake’s guitar roars through the atmosphere, Danny’s drums beat louder than the pounding of your anxious heart, Sammy’s bass reverberating through your being.

And Josh. His voice captivating you. No matter how many times you hear him sing, he never fails to astonish you. You’re always left enchanted.

The familiar chords of The Cold Wind begin, and you feel your body become a bit lighter.

The familiarity and comfort ease the tension, and you keep your eyes locked on Josh. He glances your way every so often, blushing and smiling each time.

The boys were notorious for planning their setlists right before a show, allowing the list come naturally and authentically to them as they prepare to hit the stage.

Because of this, you pretty much never knew what to expect from them, and you absolutely loved that.

The next few songs were electric. This crowd was so full of love for them, and the boys could feel it.

However, your anxiety was beginning to cripple you. You could feel the weight of the crowd, the screaming and yelling becoming louder and louder. You kept your focus on Josh, and it helped. You were nervous, but you’d be damned if you let it show.

Flower Power had just come to its exuberant ending. You were anxiously awaiting the next tune, noticing Josh’s glances had become a bit more frequent. You had a funny feeling that he had something planned, though you had no idea what it could possibly be. You were intrigued, to say the least.

“Watch Me now, Watch Me!”

There it was.

You instantly knew where this was going.

Jake’s guitar began strumming the familiar tune, Sammy’s keys quickly following suit.

“Watch me when you call my name…”

Watch Me. The song Josh sings to you anytime you’re in the midst of your struggles. This song has been your source of comfort for as long as you can remember, something Josh loves about you as it’s one of his favorite songs, too.

“Yes, I’m so glad you came…”

You knew exactly what he was doing. He knew this song would bring you comfort and serenity, and he added it to the setlist just for you.

“Touch me in your own sweet way…”

Your eyes instantly became welled with tears. Tears of pure joy and love.

In this moment, Josh was all you could see, all you could hear. He filled your senses.

Nothing else mattered. He was singing this for you, he was singing this to you. He looked at you continuously to gage your reaction, smiling brightly when he saw the happiness splayed across your face.

“All the time, I love you…”

The crowd reciprocated the song beautifully, clapping to the beat and chiming in on the chorus.

Josh’s stage presence was electrifying.

You couldn’t take your eyes off his, making eye contact with your beloved as he sings so beautifully.

“Say that you’re mine…”

He looks at you again, smiling ear to ear, pointing at you. You’ve suddenly forgotten about any fear you’d had leading up to this moment. It just didn’t seem to matter anymore. You were protected, you were loved, you were happy.

“I’m still falling, but not quite so far…”

The song came to an end in pure Greta Van Fleet fashion: extravagantly.

Josh waved a peace sign to the crowd, making your heart full.

The rest of the set was incredible to say the least. The boys played their hearts out as usual, but you were so ready for it to end so you could see Josh and hold him tighter than ever before.

🎶🥀🎶

You were escorted to their trailers, and you eagerly pushed your way through to him. You grabbed him, and he instantly lifted you up and spun you around with excitement. You kissed him with even more intensity than before, eliciting a small moan from him.

“I take it you liked the set, yeah?”

He’s smirking at you, knowing good and well what your answer is without you needing to say a single word.

“You’re absolutely unreal, Joshua. You’re prodigious, you’re beautiful, you’re—.”

He stops you with a kiss, stealing the breath from your lungs.

“Now listen, I’m the rambler in this relationship. Stop while you’re ahead, sweet girl, trust me.”

You both break out in boisterous giggles together, and you watch the way his nose scrunches as he laughs.

“I just love you a lot. Thank you, Josh.”

He pulls you in to a deeper kiss, his hands trailing up and down your body as yours wrap around his neck, playing with his curls that rest in the back.

He moves slightly to lock the door to the trailer.

You break the kiss, looking at him with lustful eyes.

“Wouldn’t want anyone to walk in and ‘watch’ us, right?”

🎶🥀🎶

A/N: I wanted to link the performance for anyone who may want to watch it again. It’s just so beautiful. 😭

Masterlist

#josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf #greta van fleet fic #jake kiszka #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka fanfiction #gvf fanfiction #jmk #jtk #sfk #drw #watch me

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obsessedtomone · 3 months

Text

Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 14 - Sleepover▸Shigaraki x femReader

Chapter Summary:

◤“Yeah?” You can’t help but fidget anxiously with the top part of your jacket. “No goodbye kiss?” he smirks, closing the distance.

You immediately scowl. “Don’t be gross.”

He still grabs your chin and you try to pull away, but he uses his other hand to cup the side of your head, fingertips running through the roots of your hair and holds you in place for him.

The bastard really did think this was a date after all.

Fuck’s sake. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Very Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Past Child Abuse, Bullying, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five • Six • Seven • Eight • Nine • Ten(ko) • Eleven • Twelve • Thirteen • Fourteen • Fifteen Updates every Monday!

Chapter 14 - Sleepover

He drums his fingers against the metal surface of the table and decides to get up.

You remain seated.

“No? The fuck you mean ‘we’re going back to your place’?” you mock him, doing obnoxious air quotation marks with your fingers as you feel your blood pressure rapidly increasing.

He glares at you in return, scratching at his neck for the second time today.

“You’re coming to my place and you’re staying over,” he mumbles, as if him repeating the same string of delusional words would make it any more understandable to you.

“I’m—huh? What?!” You slowly get out of your chair, grabbing your jacket off the backrest and your phone from the table, then carefully back away from him.

“Why are you acting all stupid again? I don’t fucking understand.” He frowns and you notice his fist clenching and unclenching at his side.

Is he being for real right now?

“Oh, you don’t understand? Okay, let me paint a pretty picture for you, Shigaraki,” you say, crossing your arms defensively. “I spent the entire fucking week following you around and absolutely humiliating myself in front of the whole university—again. I’m not about to fucking go sleep in your bed like we’re a couple of besties or—God forbid like a—” you gag, unable to speak the thought out loud.

Shigaraki, who looked absolutely bewildered that you would still dare, began visibly shaking. The scratching on his neck intensifies.

“How many times do I have to drill into your thick—fucking—skull, that you do whatever the fuck I tell you to? Why do you force me to have to rip you apart so you’ll listen?!” he growls, getting so close he now towered over you before continuing, “I’ve been nothing but fucking nice to you today.”

You glance around nervously at the other clients and at the worried employees, swiftly deciding that you’ll definitely never show up to eat here ever again.

When you look back at him, his brows are scrunched and his lips pull back. You watch him take a reeeally deep breath and close his eyes in contemplation.

When he opens them again, he’s a completely different person.

“Okay,” he says flatly, relaxing back into his usual bored look, shoulders dropping together with the hand that was assaulting his neck.

“Ooookay?” You raise a brow, clutching your belongings tightly to your chest, still wary of a potential violent outburst and hoping he has some decency not to strike your face in front of other people.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll drive you home.”

He shoots an arm out to grab his keys from the table impatiently and you flinch, only remembering the burn of your cheek after he hit you at the party.

His eyes narrow in response, but he doesn't comment otherwise, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you out of the establishment.

The drive home is really quiet, save for the occasional drumming of his fingers against his wheel and your anxiety fueled careful-breathing. You were clutching your school bag close to your chest.

Was that it or was he plotting to do something fucked up to you again? You look outside the window to calm yourself, watching the evening scenery quickly pass you by.

It’s dark already, around 8 PM when you go ahead and check your phone. Winter made everything seem more bleak, even the darkness over the city itself. It felt detached but comforting, in a way.

Like he was your charon, taking you on your final trip to hell.

When he pulls up in front of your street, you mumble a quick ‘thanks’ and hurry the fuck up to get out and leave. To your dissatisfaction, you hear his side of the door open as well and you sigh, turning back to him with a look.

“Yeah?” You can’t help but fidget anxiously with the top part of your jacket.

“No goodbye kiss?” he smirks, closing the distance.

You immediately scowl. “Don’t be gross.”

He still grabs your chin and you try to pull away, but he uses his other hand to cup the side of your head, fingertips running through the roots of your hair and holds you in place for him.

The bastard really did think this was a date after all.

Fuck’s sake.

“Do not kiss me.” Your eyes dart away from his face.

“Why not? I know you wanted it too. At the party. Before the party.” He brushes your lip with his thumb and you stare at him. “C’mon. Just once,” he lies to you, the rasp in his voice hauntingly soft.

“Stockholm syndrome victims also end up wanting to fuck their captors. We both know I’m extremely fucked in the head, so what? It’s a no.”

His breath hitches.

“You want to fuck me?” His tongue flicks over his dry lower lip and the glint of mischief in his eyes is rendering you momentarily speechless. Of course he’d focus on the wrong fucking thing.

“Y-You fucking know what I meant,” you only manage to whisper, when he bends down and nuzzles the side of your face, making your skin prickle and your breath stutter. You’re currently unable to decide which one you hated more—his anger and control issues or you finding him disgustingly attractive.

“Do I?” Shigaraki rasped against your ear, forcing a shudder out of you. “See? Give yourself to me. I’ll be so fucking good to you.”

"I mean… it's not like I'm in any position to refuse you, right?"

"Don't spin it like that." Shigaraki pulls back and frowns.

"Then how should I spin it? I say no and you still do what you want. How's this time any different?"

He looks away with a pout—a pout?!—and mumbles, "It's more fun when you're into it."

Your jaw drops. He’s sulking! Was this man ever serious?

You close your eyes and take a moment to compose yourself, before your fuse blows up in his face and he gets mad again.

What the fuck do you do now?

Do you lie and promise him a later time? Do you give in and go through another spiel of pleasing your toxic new owner? Would he hit you again if you said no? Would he employ more scare-tactics? Lose his patience?

You feel tears burning at the corner of your eyes but you force that feeling back, back, back, until it’s all the way up on your tower of sorrows.

When you open your eyes and look into his red ones, half of his face being cast into a soft shadow from the glow of a yellow street lamp nearby, you see possible conflict painted on his face.

You place your hands firmly against his chest and shake your head.

“Goodnight, Shigaraki.”

He reluctantly lets you go, gaze half lidded, and doesn’t say anything, surprisingly unphased by your rejection.

Unphased, because three minutes into your walk towards the entrance of your building, you realize the asshole wouldn’t stop following behind you.

You seethe at him through gritted teeth, stomping your way home. “Any chance I’ve miraculously shifted timelines, and you’re only being a gentleman who’ll be fucking off the moment I get inside?”

“Nope.”

“Unbelievable,” you growl and he shrugs despite your back being turned to him. “We are not fucking tonight. Is that clear?”

“Does that mean we’re fucking another time?” You heard him snicker a few steps behind you.

“No! It fucking means—It means that you stalking me all the way to my home and forcing your way into staying over will not result in getting your dick wet, now or ever. Fucking asshole.” You wipe away at your welling tears of frustration.

He’s so incredibly overwhelming, you just needed a break. One fucking weekend!

Was it too much to ask for?!

Shigaraki doesn’t reply, opting to just silently trudge behind you, hands in the pockets of his pants as you unlock the door to your building.

He glances at you holding the door open, urging him to fucking hurry when you see him take his phone out and typing something on his phone before following you in.

“I’m gonna shower,” you announced resignedly, dropping your school bag right at the entrance and throwing your shoes haphazardly on the floor. He watches you for a second and proceeds to literally copy you.

“Can I watch?”

“For free? No way.”

You throw the jacket on the floor, pull the top over your head and take off your pants, completely ignoring him as you leave your usual trail of clothes on the way to your bedroom, still having the decency of keeping your underwear on. It felt chilly in your apartment so you hurried on.

Tomura froze on your doorstep, swallowing hard, deep red eyes following your form.

Why the fuck were you casually undressing in front of him like this, right after telling him off multiple times earlier? Were you teasing him on purpose or are you seriously that much of a fucking bimbo?

He hears your bedroom door creak open and snaps out of it, eagerly following behind you, kicking piles of random things out of his way.

“Does that mean you’d let me if I pay for it?” he asks, trying to play into it, voice trembling despite him trying his best to act natural.

He knows you despised the idea of him forcing himself on you—fucking obviously—and he also hasn’t made any real moves to force you more than he had to.

But this?

This was utterly unprompted. He wasn’t prepared for this. He didn’t expect this.

Did you not know he wasn’t completely beyond the idea of branding you to him and making you into a trembling mess—his trembling mess—with or without your ‘consent’? Did you forget who he was?

Did you?

Tomura had to even his breaths out and reframe your casual openness as a sign of progress instead of another opportunity for him to use you. It was admittedly a really hard thing to do, but you looked none the wiser.

“Depends. You got a million dollars to spare?” You turn and give him a sly smile—one that had his breath get fucking caught in his throat, but it falls when you see his owlish eyes locked-in on you, making you flustered instead. “If you keep fucking staring at my tits like that, I’ll need a down payment.”

How could he fucking forget? He’s seen them so many times before.

All the times he fucked himself into his fist after he’s gotten his hands on your dirty videos, imagining it was him pounding into you, humiliating you, hurting you, and not your lowlife of an ex.

That was, before he learned he liked you.

There was no lust clouding his red eyes anymore, so he proceeded to ask the question you’ve always dreaded to answer.

“Why—What happened for you to…The scars. Why do you have so many?” he says in a gravelly tone and frowns.

You can’t help but roll your eyes.

“What about you?” you question him right back, “Why do you have yours?” You quirk a brow, turning your back to him while grabbing a towel and spare clothes. When you face him again, he looks tense but still doesn’t reply to your question. “Figures.”

Shigaraki clicks his tongue in disapproval and hesitantly walks forward, but you immediately put a hand in front of you, creating an invisible border between the two of you. “Don’t. We’re not doing this right now.”

It works, because he stops dead in his tracks like a deer in headlights, and for once this week, he watches you walk around him without doing anything about it.

“You can shower after me!” you yell from the bathroom, dropping your underwear on the rest of the dirty pile on the floor and making a mental note to move them before he comes in, lest he gets the bright idea of stealing a pair.

But Tomura was glued to where you’d left him for a good while, staring off into the distance.

When you re-enter your room, he’s sprawled on top of your comforter.

You use the towel in your hands to properly dry your hair, eyeing him suspiciously and hoping that whatever weird vibe was going on earlier would have vanished by now.

Shigaraki opened his eyes and watched you silently as you went about your routine, making you feel weird for thinking that he almost looked content just doing that.

He’d discarded his black hoodie, landing on the other end of your bed and leaving him in dark jeans and an ancient Slipknot t-shirt, chest raising and falling and lips slightly parted open.

“Please, tell me you didn’t jerk off on my bed while I was gone,” you say to break the ice and a lopsided smile finally graces his lips.

“Nah, I think I’ll rather have you do that for me instead.”

When his back slides up on his elbows, you grimace.

“Gross,” you reply, turning around to hide your embarrassment and he shrugs.

How is he always saying embarrassing shit so confidently? You recently started to think you were wrong about him being a virgin. How could he be one if this is how he talked around people he wanted to fuck.

Did he act like this with other girls too? The one at the party? You pressed your lips into a thin line before dropping the wet towel somewhere on the floor and exiting the room.

“Hey, where are you going?” he asks, getting up and ready to follow you but you’re already back by the time he’s standing.

“The fuck? I just grabbed my bag, relax,” you say, walking past him and opening your school bag.

“What are you doing?” Shigaraki observes over your shoulder. You grab your notes, your laptop and sit at your desk.

“Studying.”

“What? You’ve been studying the entire fucking week!”

You could only shake your head. “My exam period starts next week, I can’t help it.”

“Ugh, fuck you’re boring.”

“Shocking revelation. I told you I was busy and you invited yourself anyway, now leave me alone.”

And he does.

He does, because he seems to suddenly remember where he is and immediately begins looking around in every corner of your apartment, either talking shit or being amazed at various objects you owned.

You didn’t have too much, but you had a bunch of cool shit you couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of if you tried. Besides, it was your cool shit and it felt minimally good for someone to acknowledge it, since your best friend found most of it to be nerdy or lame.

“Why’d you lie about never getting yourself physical items when we were at the store? You literally have an entire fucking collection of these!” he speaks loudly, volume dwindling the closer he gets to your room.

You run a hand over your face at yet another distraction, voice coming out more nasally than usual, “Those were either gifts or exceptions. I don’t throw gifts away.”

“So why couldn’t I make you a gift then?”

“That’s the point. If you did, I probably wouldn’t… nevermind. And aside from that, I don’t feel like fucking owing you anything.”

He frowns at you and mumbles, “...You wouldn’t owe me anything over a stupid gift.” But his frown was quickly replaced by a cocky smile. “Besides, if that’s what you care about, you’ve already failed since you’ve been owing me one for quite a while now.”

“What? What the fuck do I owe you?”

“I paid for your shit at the store when we met for the first time, remember?” The smile turned into a shit-eating grin.

“Ah, fuck. Hold on,” you say, reaching down into your bag to grab your wallet before he clicks his tongue.

“Don’t. I don’t take money from the poor, that would just be unfair.”

You blink at him dumbly. “Then what do you want?”

“Mmm, I’ll think of something,” he replies, turning on his heel and resuming his treasure hunt in your house.

Shigaraki whistles when he finally gets to your underwear drawer where you stored a bunch of small colorful toys.

It’s worth mentioning that it wasn’t the sex itself that embarrassed or scared you. You’ve been trained out of it a while ago. Sex is okay. It was the feelings that scared you, meaning you only rolled your eyes at the added distraction when you heard him flip a switch, the distinct noise of your bullet vibrator coming alive with a buzz.

“So, where’s the weird-looking red one you used a few years ago? I can’t find it,” he asks, rummaging through your drawer and you’re wondering what the fuck he’s talking about again when it clicks.

“Are you twelve? When are you letting that go?” You turn in your chair, putting your elbow on top of the frame supporting your back and frown at him. Your eyes feel heavy. Today, much like everyday recently, left you feeling tired and defeated.

Shigaraki only grins lecherously at your question.

You give him an unimpressed look and turn back to your paper with a deep sigh.

“Dunno how much you know or dug up about me—” And if you were honest, you didn’t really want to find out, “—but if you looked hard enough, you’d know that I was pretty much homeless after I turned eighteen, waiting for my scholarship application to finalize. Didn’t have more than a suitcase with me, so none of the stuff you’ve seen in the… videos was—well, mine.”

He quirks a brow, letting the items he held drop back into your drawer and obnoxiously leaving it open. Tomura’s pretty sure this is the first time you’d willingly told him anything personal about yourself.

Not that he’d ever cared to properly listen before.

You hear him walk a few steps and stop behind your chair, a pair of slender hands resting on top of your shoulders and gripping them firmly. Not very soft but not quite rough either.

You’re immediately painfully aware of how intimate this feels, but he opens his mouth again and the world rights itself.

“How much dick did you suck for a roof under your head back then?” he snorts, thankfully ruining the moment.

You scoff because lately it feels like… like you’re getting used to this. Getting used to him and his weird unstable behavior, together with the whiplash of emotions.

For him, a great sign. He’s winning the game, breaking you down. For you?

Not so much.

Shigaraki applies pressure to your tense shoulders and starts moving his hands unevenly, kneading his fingers into your stiff muscles until you realize it’s probably meant to be reassuring.

“It’s alright. If you somehow manage to lose everything again,” he hints, “You could always blow me instead and I’m sure we can figure something—” You smack his arm repeatedly, having turned around in your seat, face flushed in shame as he looks down at you and snickers under his breath.

“God, you’re such a dick!” you yell, feeling hurt and turning away from him to hide it. This topic was especially sore to you because yeah—you really did suck dick to keep a roof over your head.

Sex is fine. Feeling like you have to sell yourself to some asshole, for you to spend another night away from the cold streets, isn’t.

“C’mon, I’m just fucking with you.” He pushes your head down in an attempt to tease annoy you further. “I wouldn’t have it in me to abandon my favorite toy on the streets anyway,” he quips but you completely ignore him and he shoots you a questioning glance.

He’s tall enough to tower over you as you sit, leaning into your vision field, white locks of hair falling to the sides of his face. You use your pointing finger to move his big fat forehead out of your way.

“I’m studying.”

“And I’m bored.”

“Go home then.”

He snorts. “Fuck no.”

“Then it’s not my problem.”

“Oh it will be. You won’t like it if I go and have fun on my own.”

“Shigaraki, I’ve got the first exam in four days. Go entertain yourself like the big boy you are, and let me fucking study for my shit please. I reaaaally don’t wanna have to blow you if I fail and lose my scholarship,” you make a callback to his joke and push his face away with your entire palm until he finally relents.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he says with a creepy lilt in his tone, giving you a foreboding smile before turning around and leaving.

You use your pen to scratch at your temples. “By the way… you’re not seriously planning to stay the night over. Right?”

He looks back at you and his smile just stretches.

“Ugh, fine but you’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Hah! You fucking wish.” Shigaraki waves you off, walking out of your bedroom.

It’s really quiet for the next hour or so.

Quiet enough for you to get up and investigate. Maybe the gods were kind for once and your apartment would be empty.

When you step into your living room, you freeze.

Click—click. Double click.

It hits you like a truck, driving at full speed.

You do not have a fucking password, because you did not need a fucking password. Who the fuck would snoop through your PC? Taylor?

“What. The fuck. Are you doing?!”

“Uhh, entertaining myself?” He turns to face you, swiveling in your chair, with his left leg casually resting on top of the seat and his chin resting against his knee. “I was right tho’.” He smiles at you darkly, turning to scroll through the page and cackling maniacally. “Look at aaalll this dirty fucked up shit you’re into—”

You feel your blood physically draining from your face when you get closer, recognizing several instances of your fanfic website being open in a bunch of different tabs.

Tabs containing different works you’ve bookmarked, that not a single soul should know about.

Sex is great.

Shigaraki Tomura finding out about your wildest fucked-up fantasies is absolutely criminal.

You were so fucked.

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #emotional hurt/comfort #shigaraki tomura #unhealthy relationships #dead dove do not eat #trigger warnings #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki fanfiction #shigaraki x you #tenko shimura #tomura shigaraki #college au #reader is female #tomura shigaraki x reader

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atlasisreal · 10 months

Note

YOU WERE AT *WHAT*????????????????????

yes it's true. the atlasisreal deep lore is that I attended dashcon in 2014.

that me 💕

anyways if you wanna hear my recollection of dashcon it's under the cut.

i was literally just a teenager at the time but seeing dashcon ads on Tumblr I was like. it's in Schaumburg??? like 30min from me??? I HAVE to go this is going to be the coolest thing ever. I love Tumblr all my mentally ill friends and supernatural gifs are on that website. I bet they're gonna have the coolest party ever.

LMAOOOOO

so i asked for the dashcon tix for my birthday! it was for me and my best friend (who attended and even cosplayed Homestuck with me despite not knowing anything about it) and my mom, who was mostly excited about staying in the nice hotel and swimming in the pool. I was so hype for this. anyways we get there and as people have previously talked about vis a vis dashcon, it was so hilariously underwhelming. the first thing you had to do was walk into the registration hall. I think most people have seen pics but they had written "Welcome DashCon" or something to that effect on the ground using blue painters tape, and the hall was empty asf which was really funny because they had set the table up aaaaaall the way at the back so you just got to walk across this big empty hall towards ONE PERSON sitting at a table (who in retrospect I'm pretty sure was the 19 year old they'd foisted this thing onto). she was super nice at the time though so shout out to that interaction.

we pretty much immediately headed for the only actual show floor area, which was the artists alley. if dashcon attendees are hard to find, I'm sure dashcon exhibitors are fucking unicorns bc there was... maybe 30 booths, if I'm being very generous. that being said, I got to meet nd Stevenson at dashcon! he was really nice, and complimented my cosplay. it's kind of fun to get to say I met the artist and author behind nimona and lumberjanes and she-ra at fucking DASHCON lol. hopefully next time I meet him it will be as a fellow professional comics artist huh who said that

gotta take a moment here to stress something. dashcon was very poorly planned and executed. this is true. BUT. the atmosphere, especially on the first day, was so joyful and connected. everyone was so stoked to be at THE Tumblr convention. all of us were weirdos who liked the weirdo website enough to show up in person for all our weirdo friends. We were all exchanging urls and taking big group photos and going to grab lunch together. people were very open and friendly. and I know that's my perspective as well, obviously there were plenty of things going horribly wrong behind the scenes, but having only been an attendee, it really wasn't the worst experience.

anyways so the day was fun and weird and a little boring because dashcon had fucking nothing going on but anyways so the scamming part. they called everyone into this main ballroom and stood on a little stage up front and were like "HEY IF WE DONT RAISE $200,000 THEYRE SHUTTING US DOWN" which definitely did NOT break my tiny little idiot baby heart. I definitely was super self aware and knew this was a dumb scam and I definitely DIDN'T cry and run to the hotel pool to tell my mom. she however immediately went "they're scammers and we paid for our hotel room so whatever lol". my bestie gave them $10 and after the fact was (rightfully) SUPER pissed about it because she WAS smarter than me and figured out the scam thing faster.

I think besides that scam thing the other thing I remember thinking was such fucking bullshit was that we would be walking past the ballroom where Welcome to Night Vale was supposed to perform and the line was insane. It was literally SOOOOO many people. I remember being a little bummed that I hadn't gotten tickets which was.... obviously a short lived regret. when they announced the night Vale cancellation I definitely realized shit was hinky.

a majority of the photos I have are from ballpitstuck! there was a Homestuck meetup at the ball pit, but a lot of us had found each other already and had been hanging out in little feral packs of homestucks, so we all meshed super well and basically immediately all became besties. we ended up kind of collectively agreeing to post stuff in the "ballpitstuck" tag, which is hilarious. I actually made fanart at the time! It's somewhere in the depths of my art blog. I've probably posted most of these before but for posterity:

we were cringe. but we were free. no but for real I did have so much fun hanging with the homestucks.

anyways the rest of the con was pretty much just hanging out and watching everything burn from the inside out. my favorite part was watching Tumblr react to dashcon in real-time, because everyone AT the convention was posting about it, and everyone who wasn't at the convention was actively following the updates. by the time we left I just remember being like "I think we've just experienced something very interesting". and now there's a Wikipedia page and a sarah z video about it so.

anyways shout out to my dashcon homies(tucks)

#dashcon #ballpitstuck

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akystaracer22 · 2 months

Text

The Exception to the Rule

Synopsis: How far do you bend your morals for someone you love?

Notes:

This is definitely a turning point to the story and is a little jump ahead of everything so far.

From here on out, there will be two different types of oneshot, flashback oneshots which happen either in Heaven or in Eden, and present day oneshots which are primarily in Hell.

This also adds a new epithet to Adams repertoire! Technically.

There are OC’s in this one, I can’t avoid it.

Heaven politics! Theres a lot going on in heaven I can’t talk about because nobody in hell knows about it, but I can finally start talking!

I listened to More than Anything, Connor’s Main Theme, and Gladiator while writing this.

In exchange for starting the extermination early, the one after would take 18 months as opposed to 12.

I have named over 60 exorcists. If you see a reference no you don’t.

Vaggie wasn’t the first angel to show mercy to a sinner.

I drop so much fucking lore in this jesus fuck.

This one shot was supposed to come so much later.

Shit

SO, MICHAEL’S INVOLVED NOW!

Hey uh, you know how I said I can’t write stupid characters? Yeah… Adam can act and think like a damn general now ig.

Adams over 6,000 years old he knows how to move quickly.

... I really like my BAMF characters huh.

Word Count: 1862

Fic under cut!

“Adam?”

“Over here Luci,” The first man replied easily, looking towards where the angel had entered the wastelands.

Well… wastelands was a bit of a stretch now.

Once he was able to improve the soil, grass was able to finally start growing and…

The oak tree Adam was taking a break under was a testament to his labour. It was still growing and would probably take another year or so with the help of Lucifer’s magic before it’d resemble the mighty trees most people knew.

It didn’t make Adam any less proud of it.

The fallen angel got up and stretched his wings as Lucifer rounded a crag and came into view.

One of Adams wings hiked up before he could shove the instinct down, it was just Lucifer.

“Charlie wanted to know if you wanted to come up for lunch or if you’re fine down here,” The devil started, “She and Maggie are making pastries from the pear’s you dropped off yesterday.”

“Vaggies baking? Better hope your daughters good then, Vaggie’s got a tendency to burn whatever she touches.”

Regardless, Adam started making his way towards the hotel, completely disregarding the unspoken offer to just teleport there.

Lucifer just laughed and unfurled his wings as Adam began the trek up the stairs, flying up beside the man.

“I doubt you have room to talk about when it comes to cooking.”

“I helped Eve cook you know,” Adam scoffed, “I had a few specialties of my own.”

“And yet Maggie can’t cook.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, plenty of my daughters can cook! Lux is extremely good at dessert foods and Needle can make some great fucking lunches.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really! It’s Mari you have to look out for. The presentation of her food? Stunning, beautiful, gourmet even. The taste? I thought I was going to die a second time over the toilet.”

Lucifer cackled and a light chuckle escaped Adams lips as the angel almost fell out of the sky at the mental image.

“Shut up! I’m serious I thought I caught some sort of illness! They don’t even have illnesses in heaven!”

“I would pay to see that!”

“I bet you would be you sick fuck.”

“Hey! I-”

Lucifer went dead silent, and Adam almost asked what was wrong before he heard it too.

Shouting.

He didn’t even glance at his friend as they were both caught in Lucifer’s magic, bringing them both to the hotel lobby.

“I’ll stop the fight.”

“I’ll grab my fucking axe,” Adam headed down the hallways until he found the gym, carefully taking his axe off the wall and slinging it over his back before booking it to the hotel exit.

“If you’d just give me a minute-!”

“Your majesty-”

“Alastor.”

“Mom!”

“Oh for fucks sake!”

Adam slammed open the doors and jumped the stairs, “What the fuck is going on-!”

Adams brain short circuited immediately after taking in the situation.

Lucifer was frozen stiff with his wings spread wide, his head whipping around to stare open mouthed at Adam. Alastor and Lilith’s glaring contest was broken as they also stared at the first man. The princess and Vaggie were holding hands and Charlies demonic traits receded at Adams arrival.

The other residents were also still at the first mans arrival, nervousness and surprise evident in everyone expressions, even Nifty stopped moving. Under normal circumstances Adam’s gut would have twisted from all the attention.

That usual knee jerk response was completely crushed under the weight of the other three present.

Adam was barely aware of the fact that he’d dropped his axe as he took in the maskless faces of three of his exorcists.

Echo almost dropped her scimitars; her hair was undone from it’s usual bun to brush against her shoulders. She almost stepped back from him before a wing from her sisters steadied her.

Delta was much more graceful, sheathing her rapier and swallowing thickly; Adam understood how she felt. She’d recently had a haircut, her undercut looking crisper than the last time he saw her.

Nina’s war pick clattered to the ground as she brought her hands to her mouth, tears cropping up in the corners of her eyes as she took in his ruined form. In contrast to Delta, her hair had grown out; the normal buzz cut fading.

Adam stood in the silence, wings slowly folding in from where he had mantled them prior. He didn’t know what to do. These were his girls, and they were here and fuck, they were outnumbered. But… shit they were here to kill him weren’t they.

“…Sir?”

Fuck it.

The first man sprinted forward; wings spread wide as he reached out for the three of them. Weapons hit the ground as he pulled his kids into a hug.

If he was going to die, he’d like to die hugging his girls.

Adam didn’t expect the three of them to hug back. His shoulder grew wet as Nina’s tears started to fall; Echo made a soft noise as she buried her head in the feathers of his good wing. Delta’s wings were touching the tips of his own as she all but collapsed into the huddle.

Huh, seems like they were all mad here.

Adam didn’t give a fuck; he was hugging his exorcists and that was enough for him at the moment.

“So… we’re good?”

Moment over.

Adam pulled away to glare at Lucifer, “Do you fucking mind?”

“Sorry sorry! I’ll shut up now!”

“No, you’ve ruined it. Moments gone and done thanks to you,” Adam huffed, regretfully stepping away from his girls even as he kept his good wing extended to the three exorcists, guiding them by the wing towards the hotel.

“Come on, I have a feeling you three aren’t here just for show.”

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Adam blew lightly on his tea before sipping it, leaning forward to pour the exorcists some tea as he worked to calm his still slightly frayed nerves.

He’d managed to move the girls into a private room before unceremoniously kicking everyone else out, if anything happened Lucifer would break into the room in a flash, so it wasn’t like he was in any real danger.

Besides, they were his girls, it’d be fine.

“So,” Adam swallowed, before “What brings you three to this side of the pentagram? The hunts not on for another eight months.”

Echo swallowed thickly and Nina bowed her head, it was Delta who answered.

“I- Netto discovered that heaven knew you were alive, sir. Lute wanted to come down immediately but the rest of us were able to convince her otherwise.”

“She’s too far in the eyes of the high seraphim, if she disappeared they’d know.”

“So, we decided to go instead,” Nina finished for her sisters.

Adam stared at the three of them, horrified, “What?”

“What Nina’s saying is… we’re staying here.”

“Why the fuck would you three do that!” Adam hissed, feathers bristling at the implications, “You all have so much to lose-”

“We don’t,” Delta asserted, scowling at the window, “You know damn well what hells denizens took from us.”

Adam froze as the image flashed into the forefront of his mind.

Charlie. Echo and Delta’s missing piece to their trio. They were best friends even beyond the bonds of sisterhood. Where one was the other two were close by. Charlie was the sunshine to their storm, always taking time out of her own day to brighten up the other exorcists. She preferred to use a crossbow to keep away from sinners, something Adam was always grateful for.

Charlie’s body was missing several ribs and most of her organs, looking every part like it had been ravaged by monsters. It took effort Adam didn’t have every day to not go to cannibal town and raze it to the ground. For Charlie, for Zirco, for Steel, for Feather and Annie and every exorcist he failed.

Even-

A scream, a plea as Adam struggled against divine magic nononono please stOP PLEASE-

Wasp

Adam whole body tensed up. Fuck, Wasp. He hadn’t- shit he’d almost managed to convince himself that that had never-

Fuck.

The girls were looking at him now, Nina reaching out a hand to him.

“And you?”

The hand pulled away, “What?”

“Nina, why did you decide to come down here,” Adam rasped, “You- fuck you were planning on proposing to your girlfriend why-”

“Because your our leader,” Nina answered quietly, like she wasn’t taking Adams breath away with a single sentence, “And Regina understood, she agreed with me.”

Nina held up her phone with a sad smile, “Besides, at least this way it’s easier for me to watch out for her dad.”

Adam wanted to send the three of them back to heaven immediately, this was no place for angels. Vaggie was lucky she found Charlie immediately.

But Delta and Echo had backbones of steel, and once Nina set her mind to something there was no stopping her.

Shit, Netto and Lute were smart to send them.

Wait-

“What did you mean when you said heaven knew I fell Delta,” Adam whispered, “I should have fucking died. How did Netto find out I fell.”

Delta sighed and gazed tiredly at him, “Same way she always finds things out, she got it straight from Michaels lips.”

Adams blood froze before his mind caught up with him. Michael was involved with this. Fuck of course he was it was Michael, and if he was involved… then it stands to reason the rest of the ancient archangels had something to do with all of this too.

The first man stood up before pausing, if his gut was right, this wasn’t just about his fall. For the ancient archangels to be aware of his fall and do nothing for ten months… there was something he was missing.

He’d need to wait, maybe even bring Lucifer and the others in on this. But first…

“I’m in room 2101, Lucifer’s wing. 2100 is taken by the king of hell himself and his wife but the rest of the floor is empty,” the three exorcists perked up at Adams commanding tone, “Get set up and get settled in. Echo, send a message to the others and tell them I’m okay.”

“Already done.”

“Love that, Delta how is training looking?”

“Lute’s leading the effort sir, we’ve been working hard to fix our holes.”

“Great, get back in contact with Lute. I have a few techniques that can help. And for fucks sake tell her to use whatever prosthetic she has to her advantage; I fucking know she’s not.”

“Yes sir!”

“Nina, keep an ear out. Both for anything Netto has for us and for anything in hell. Carmilla Carmine, and the Vees are important. Especially Carmine, she’s the one with the angelic steel. Do not engage.”

“Go it sir.”

“Good, I’ll get you three for dinner. Remember, stay sharp, stay armed, and whatever you do. Don’t fucking trust the Radio Demon. He’ll kill everyone in this hotel the moment he’s off his fucking leash.”

The leader of the exorcists watched the three of them head down the hallway towards the front desk before turning and heading for the stairwell.

He had a lot to think about, and from the looks of things he still had an extermination to plan.

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angelsanarchy · 3 months

Text

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N One-Shot Series PRT 30

Tagging:@roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator@tempt-ress@blacksoul-27

Jack was nervous. He hadn't gone all out for a date...ever. Even when he was courting Cleo, he never found himself in a pressed dress shirt with a black vest lighting candles in the dining room. The house smelled great, the food turned out perfect. He set an alarm to take his meds which he did on time. He looked at himself in the mirror and debating on what he could possibly do with his hair but he knew he was just lucky to have it clean. He found himself nervously fiddling with the bouquet that he put together when he heard the soft knock on the door.

"Come in." Jack yelled hearing the door open and close.

"Wow...you clean up nice Thurlow." Y/n smiled at him as she looked him over. She was wearing a dress that fell just above her knee and moved with her body as she walked.

"Look who's talking." He swallowed trying to form words from how dry his throat just became.

"You look beautiful." He walked towards her and kissed her cheek. She laughed and nodded.

"I think anything is a step up from scrubs or pajamas you usually see me in." She walked towards the table seeing the candles.

"You really went all out. The candles, the flowers, Jack these are gorgeous." She looked at the bouquet.

"I don't want to brag but I did like 2 hours of research on the symbolism of flowers just to make this bouquet special just for you." He smirked.

She laughed as she started picking through the flowers and looking at him.

"Calla lilies symbolize magnificent beauty. Much like the Dahlia's that symbolize your dignity and elegance." She shook her head before touching the Iris'.

"Blue Iris symbolizes hope which is what I have for the daffodil's which symbolize new beginnings." Jack licked his bottom lip and she put her arms around his neck.

"The roses are pretty self explanatory." He added letting his hands fall to her waist.

"You're really trying to get laid tonight huh?" She teased making him blush.

"Seriously, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you." She kissed his lips and he sighed into the kiss. He was so worried he had gone too corny with the flowers but he was wrong.

"I would offer you a drink but I can't really drink with my meds." She shook her head at him.

"I don't drink a lot myself because of mine either. Water works just fine." She followed him into the kitchen.

"So this is what it's like for two mentally ill people to date." Jack teased.

"I honestly couldn't say. I don't even remember the last time I was on a date." She admitted.

"I don't believe that. I've been here a while now and you're the most attractive person I've seen." Jack poured water in a glass for her and one for himself.

"You're about to find out how insanely boring I truly am so I hope you're prepared to be let down. I've been considering getting a cat to complete the trifecta." She smiled taking the glass.

"Hey once I'm cleared to get a dog we can be shut ins together." He joked.

"We should probably work on the whole shut in thing. We're too young to give up on social progress." Jack pulled her chair out for her and she sat.

"I wouldn't mind being social as long as you're with me." Jack sits down opposite her and smiles. The conversation seemed almost knowingly, like they had known each other for years and we're just two old friends catching up. He learned the Y/n liked to swim, paint and listen to oldies rock music. She learned that Jack was a big reader as well as writer, enjoyed classic black and white horror movies and cooking shows, which explained how what he cooked was so good.

They moved from the dining room to the living room and sat on the couch talking.

"Just by looking at you, I wouldn't have expected you would enjoy cooking so that's a nice surprise." Y/n smiled.

"Why is that? What's my look got to do with it?" Jack laughed looking at himself.

"You're what the internet refers to as babygirl stature. It's cute though." She teases him making him shake his head.

"Well I guess I have to start working out or something." Jack mocked offense and she gave him a playful shove.

"Shut up, you know you're hot." Y/n rolled her eyes at him. He smiled at her and drew circles on the skin of her knee.

"Yeah? Pretentious mentally afflicted makes you weak in the knees?" Jack tilted his head and she put her hand on top of his.

"Something like that." She teased moving his hand up her thigh and under her dress. Jack could feel the wetness on the front of her panties.

"Fuck...all this for me?" Jack asked curiously. He could feel her hips move just at the mere graze of his fingertips.

"Put dress clothes and homemade dinner on a menu and the hot, pretentious mentally afflicted guy gets you wet." He continued to tease her and she put her hand on his neck.

"No...just you Jack. You make me wet." She confirmed before pulling him towards her. She kissed him hard, gripping at the hair from the bottom of his skull making him groan. He pushed her panties to the side and let his fingers tease her clit. He couldn't believe she was already this turned on as he pushed two fingers into her cunt making her jaw slack.

"Oh fuck." She yanked his hair again and Jack leaned back to watch her face as he finger fucked her on the couch, her moaning and pulling on the sides of his vest like she was trying to brace for the impact of an orgasm.

"Does that feel good? You like when I fuck you like this?" Jack could feel how hard he was but he didn't want her to touch him. He wanted all the focus to be on her and her pleasure.

"Jack...fuck yes. Don't stop, please don't stop." She pleaded.

"I'm not going to stop, I want you to cum for me. I want to be the reason you cum." Jack explained trying to speed up his thrusts and still maintain pressure on her clit. He could feel a slight tightening around his hand and her moans got louder.

"Come on baby, cum for daddy." Jack whispered into her neck, biting down on the skin near her beauty mark. She let out a scream, gripping his hand but when she started whimpering, he started to slow the pace. He felt her legs shaking and watched her breasts heave in her dress, trying to catch her breath. Jack removed his fingers and licked them clean as Y/n laid, half on his lap, half on the couch with a shiver.

"Daddy?" She laughed.

"You came didn't you?" He blushed and she pulled him on top of her to kiss him. She could taste herself on his tongue and she deseperately wanted to return the favor but he declined.

"I wanted this night to be about you. Besides, I think if I undid the button on my pants I'll cum." Jack explained. She laid there with him on the couch for almost an hour, talking and enjoying the feeling of just being held by one another.

She looked over at the clock and saw what time it was.

"My mom has testing in the morning so if you text me and I don't respond, don't take it personally. I will let you know when I get the plans for our second date put together." She tucked his hair behind his ear and he smiled.

"Second date...so I did pretty good tonight." He boasted and she kissed him.

"You did perfectly." She sprinkled little kisses over his face and he smiled. She went home that night and text him how much fun she had and Jack felt like he had won some sort of award. He had never planned a date in his life but something about Y/n made him want to do better, be better.

He was also correct in assuming that undoing his button on his pants would make him cum. He would need to take these dress pants to the dry cleaners.

#Jack Thurlow #Jack Thurlow x Y/N #Jack Goes Home #Glass Houses Series #Glass Houses #One Shot Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult

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shannankle · 4 months

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The Sign Episode 7 Thoughts

Showing abs is apparently necessary for good art (taking notes)

Okay but are they talking about having him paint him, make love, or kill him and make him a part of the art (they keep showing the art tools like torture tools)

That love scene was really beautiful, love the way it makes the art very visceral. The way it's framed reminds me a bit of Hannibal and the way bodies there are framed as art.

Ah so we are intentionally blurring the lines here between love making, art, and potential murder--cause the scene of him washing off the paint is pulled straight from a crime thriller. I like the contrast between the red paint and the blue lighting.

Interesting bathroom, the shot is really pretty, but logistically how do you shower without getting everything wet. The mirror is really interesting though. Practically it's a good way to make sure he gets all the paint off. But it also highlights how alone he is here, with only his own reflection to keep him company.

Yai why are you trying to stop Tharn from saving someone?

These guys are so bad at working, meanwhile Yai is telling Tharn not to get distracted from the job they're already all not doing

Oh I like the way the actor plays Mr. Montree. A lot of actors would overplay the sinister aspect to make sure the audience really gets it, but instead of any tension in his voice or body language, he comes across quite genuine and warm in his responses. We can still pick up the tension if we observe the captain and read between the lines of what he's saying. Nice!

Tharn, darling, maybe don't tip the guy off! I'm glad Yai told him that was stupid

Ah hello again Nat's abs!

Interesting that most of the guests are in black, white, or beige, but Mr. Montree is in blue and Phaya's grandma is in red. Of course those are the colors used in the painting and earlier with Art. It makes sense that Mr. Montree would stand out, but I'm curious why Phaya's grandma in particular. Will she become more important? Is she related to Mr. Montree in some way?

I'd love to know more about the artists and art they used for this episode. There's some really gorgeous pieces

Oh no a broken statue I'm getting Shadow flashbacks

Wait why would they detain Art? It was clearly an accident

Dr. Chachacha stepping up to say Art is his patient, what is this Hannibal? Dr. Chalecter over here! It's got to be an influence right? Cause I was getting similar vibes in the opening scenes too

I wonder if hysteria as a term has the same connotations as it does in Western psychiatry. Like is it still a term that's used medically? Or is it clearly outdated? If it's the later, why doesn't that raise any eyebrows? Either way it fits with his sinister role in the story and the way he riles Phaya up to cause problems and make it seem like Phaya is dangerous or hysterical. Say Art is hysterical and off his meds and you can discredit him. How much of that is Dr. Chalecter using some sort of power on people is hard to say.

Huh, even after that back and forth, I'm not quite sure what the show's perspective is here on mental illness. They aren't necessarily pushing back on the idea that it can make you dangerous, even if there's some nuance added. Though Dr. Chalecter did get in a funny burn telling Phaya: you're not mentally ill, your personality just sucks.

Okay I get that Phaya is acting like an idiot because he's scared, but my patience is a little thin. It's just not a dynamic I enjoy. I'm kind of hoping it really is Dr. Chalecter's doing.

Oooof Dr. Chalecter is over here distinguishing "normal" people vs mentally ill people. Rich and ableist! Despite the copganda the show is at least giving us evil psychiatrists.

No don't bring the charismatic psychiatrist into your police investigation! It's like the captain hasn't even seen Hannibal!

Did Kao's body get put into the art and that's why they can't find him?

Okay I guess I'm glad it wasn't portrayed as him killing out of madness or mental illness, that's a relief.

Tharn's visions are getting super convenient and helpful now. I like the touch of focusing on the clock in the flashback

Imagine being the poor cab driver. You pick up a guy with a bleeding neck and instead of going to the hospital he asks you to drop him somewhere sketchy

Why would you sit in the car to get evidence? Wouldn't that disrupt things?

These two have no chill, why are they bickering in front of everyone's salad. Also not sure why we needed a montage of the meeting.

Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty!!!

Oh Phaya's little meow to deflect, adorable!

Huh the grandma's comments about not understanding people's motivations and everyone losing their minds are troubling. Feels in line with what the episode seems to be bringing up around mental illness. Even with Tharn's response, I'm not really sure what the show is trying to say about the topic. Kind of similar to last week's take on justice.

Kitty makes the perfect transition shot!

Interesting how the final scenes between Phaya and Tharn here mirror Art and Kao but with very different endings. Both begin in spaces where Art and Phaya make and display their art. Tharn and Kao are invited into these intimate spaces. But the couple's follow opposite trajectories--one betraying that intimacy (Kao) and the other (Thar) deciding to take a leap of faith and trust in it.

Art and Kao make love in a scene that may have just been a fantasy, but, real or not, the scene has a dream-like aesthetic that is edging into nightmare. We then learn they fought and separated.

In contrast, Phaya and Tharn talk, resonate with each other emotionally and come together. They then make love. Like, Art and Kao's love scene, there's a fantastic quality, but this one stays out of nightmare territory.

The mirrors are particularly notable. We end with mirror's capturing Phaya and Tharn together, intimate. While we began with Art in his bathroom, the mirrors highlighting how alone he is.

A final thought: It has been 4 weeks since Sand has graced our screens, now we must wait at least a week more and that is a true crime!

#thought i'd start writing some reactions to shows rather than just meta #though i definitely slipped into meta at the end there anyway lol #the sign the series #the sign #the sign episode 7 #the sign spoilers #my posts #my reactions

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helpallthenamesaretakenblog · 4 months

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EPISODE 6 (just realised no one is asking me to do this too bad) spoilers for series up ahead

ITS NOT A MUSICAL EPISODE 😭

Disney was too broke to show us the animals in the zoo truck WHYY

why am i so happy for the second seaweed brain, man the things being a pjo fan does to you

The way you could see luke’s smile drop when they say that they found the lightning thief (:) —> :/)

The way luke didn’t even let them finish he was like “CLARISSE YES CLARISSE SHE MUST BE THE ROBBER”

No one’s talking about “Chiron should arrest her” Not the mental image of chiron holding a gun saying “ANY WORD CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN COURT” while clarisse is pushed into a police car lollll

Old married couple im falling out of my chair plsssss if luke did something right in his life it was this

i love annabeth’s face like she knew this was coming the older brother-sister dynamic is POPPING

Disney really needed a way to show that grover liked animals and had convos with them without actually showing them lol

cue the “omg animals are so elegant” speech which served nothing at all

WHATS THE POINT OF ZEBRA TO VEGAS IF THERE AIN’T NO ZEBRA MR HOUSE OF MOUSE????

Idk but i kind of miss the trio action so far this show has only been percabeth + grover instead of percy + annabeth + grover you can tell they’re focusing more on fan service and developing percabeth than developing the more important dynamics which are the three of them having fun

oh HELLO RANDOM CAMEL WHO ISNT EVEN A ZEBRA BUT WHATEVER

“You are two seconds ahead of meeee” the simp eyes the simp eyes

The lotus casino from the outside is so COOL

LEVITATING BY DUA LIPA (some of yall still stuck in poker face era so im leaving it at that)

WISE GIRL I REPEAT WE GOT WISE GIRL (i was honestly expecting it to sound super corny on screen but walker pulled it off like he always does)

look im so mad about the fact that there’s no montage of them being silly little kids and having fun at arcade games. It hits so hard since percy has never afforded to visit fun places, annabeth has never left camp so is absolutely thriving with her architect games, grover is hunting down humans which was so funny and cool and they decided to make it more serious and plot centred

”ill take percy this way” WHY CAN’T GROVER TAKE PERCY THAT WAY HUH ANNABETH? 🤨 (girl just say you want to spend time with him)(and disney say you just wanna write more percabeth scenes)

I love the ‘if you dont know, i dont know either 😄’ mentality that percy has, he knows annabeth wants to be in charge now so he’s just feeding into the hubris

The augustus plot was so weird ngl but it was a great way to introduce the pan stuff

“Biaannncaaaaa biancaaaaaa” NICCOOOOOOO

He sounds so little and innocent and cute 🥺 im so sad now

GROVERRRRRR REMEMBERRRRRR

i gotta say, i guess that i was taken away by the people making fun of lin manuel miranda, but his acting was really really good

We got some may castellan exposition early

Percy thinking that the only thing he could do to sally was hurting her 🥹

i really hope they talk about that later on, you know we love some angst around here (especially with the dreams of the headmaster which was from the books!!! I was thinking that they’d cut it! But they didnt!! But it speaks volumes about percy that he has nightmares of headmasters)

I WANT ANNABETH FLASHBACK ANGST

annabeth pickpocketing the god of thieves will forever be her girlbossiest moment

”Im multitalented” percy: 😍💙🥰🥹 🤩(walker’s acting be that amazing is it not obvious by now that percy likes annabeth)

“Who’s grover ☺️?” “Wait, i know grover 😅!” Walker is cementing himself in the percy throne every single episode

”wow grover got really old😃”

“you lose sight of what’s important when you’re alone” “we weren’t alone 🥰” poor grover

The eons long wait to see how percy was hugging while falling the way down is finally over

The way that you can see percy’s empathy shining through his eyes as grover talked about pan>>>> (honestly tho, hug!)

the way they focused on percy’s reaction, i know this is going to be something he brings up as a reason for him to sacrifice himself for hades

Percy and annabeth looking at grover like “ ok mr. 24 DRIVE US”

Percy trying to drive a car will forever be cinema and comedy peak

The road rage this child has its so funny BEEP BEEP

annabeth: 😁 percy: 🥹 *cutely crashes car and almost kills her* PERCY IS TRULY GIVING A LOSER BOY WHO HAS NEVER HAD A GIRL LOOK AT HIM AND THATS SO PERCY OF HIM

the heartbreak in percy’s eyes alexa play the moment i knew by taylor swift

Four pearls?? *cue that one meme where that girl is calculating*

the way my smile faded when i saw annabeth hanging over the cliff TOO SOON RICK TOO SOON

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thewildsophia · 9 months

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3Below//Krel Tarron x Depressed!Reader

A/N: Re-watching 3Below has reignited my love for Krel. There also aren't any Krel x depression out there so fuck it ima do it myself. For these headcanons, I imagine the reader to have Major Depressive Disorder as opposed to any other kind of depression bc that's what I have. Enjoy!

TW: S//H, S//I, Adult Language

Another warning will be placed before sections containing the above.

Words: 2485

"Read More Link” placed due to length.

Krel Tarron x S/O w/Major Depressive Disorder

At first, Krel would not understand. That is, he wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you have depression.

His knowledge of human sociology and behaviors is very limited when he and his sister first land on Earth. However, even after he’s spent months here he still struggles to understand and pick up on social cues.

So even though you exhibit very obvious signs of depression — i.e. lack of energy/appetite, excessive sleeping, and loss of enjoyment in activities — Krel doesn’t suspect anything inherently wrong with you. He thinks that your personality is just different from your other human counterparts.

And to be fair, for as long as he’s known you, you’ve always acted this way (because you were depressed-).

You would definitely have to tell him you’re depressed because otherwise, he would never figure it out. You ended up telling him during a period of lucidity where you didn’t feel too bad and were conscious of his lack of understanding of your behavior.

As you tell him, Krel stares at you intently, committing everything you're telling him to memory.

Now he really doesn’t understand.

This whole time he thought you just have a different temperament from the other humans at your school, but in reality, you were suffering from a serious illness that he had no idea you had.

Tbh, Krel’s not ok for a few days after you tell him. For a brief moment, he’s angry that you didn’t tell him sooner, but he quickly understands why and his anger dissolves into sadness. He feels so terrible about not picking up on the fact that you’re constantly in pain and that he’s done nothing to help you.

Krel spends the next few days after you told him researching all about depression and other similar mental illnesses. He’s honestly a little fascinated by how many illnesses there are lmao. It’s just that on Akaridia-5, there aren’t illnesses like that, so he’s happy to learn something new (even if it’s not under more favorable conditions).

Krel has a lot of questions about your flavor of depression for when you’re mentally ready to answer such questions.

Tbh, he’s a little insensitive with some of his questions, but that’s just because he doesn’t know any better. Correct him (politely) and he’ll make sure to be nicer with his questions.

Not much changes dynamic-wise; Krel’s still your loving boyfriend, the same way that you’re still his loving significant other.

He does make it a habit to compliment you every time he sees you. Whether it be a compliment about your looks, your school work, or even something as small as “I’m happy to see you today,” he really tries to boost your confidence in hopes that you feel better about yourself.

He also tries to be around you more often, both to make sure you’re ok and to show you that he’s there for you.

Krel becomes better at predicting when you’re about to enter a depressive episode. Having been around you for so long and now knowing what the warning signs are, he’s very good at guessing when you’re entering certain episodes (sometimes even before you know. Scary, huh?)

When you enter depressive episodes, Krel does everything he can to make sure he’s there for you, both physically and mentally. He will hold you close to him with all four of his arms while he listens carefully to what is troubling you.

Krel still doesn’t quite understand the emotions involved in depression. Like many other people, he believed that it was just constant sadness, but the more he read and spoke with you about the matter, the more complex it all became. Sadness, despair, emptiness, fear, anger, jealousy, all emotions that he’s never really felt in full. Not to mention other even more nuanced emotions such as paranoia and shame that he’s actually never felt at all.

Krel is also very good at helping you through mood swings. He’s come to understand that all humans fluctuate between many different emotions, sometimes in a short period of time. He knows when you want him close to you and knows when you want space.

If you are someone who is very mature with how you explain how you’re feeling, -- like telling someone you’re mad at them, why you’re mad, and that you want space to cool off/talk with them about it -- Krel has an easier time responding to you. He’s much less likely to misinterpret your feelings and what you want.

Krel actually learned how to vocalize his own emotions from you whenever he’s distressed or upset which definitely opened you two up for a much more healthy form of communication.

He just struggles with emotions in general, but he makes the effort to understand for you :)

TW: S//H, S//I

If Krel ever gets even a hint that you’re hurting yourself, his mental walls would fall and he’d collapse in on himself.

If there is someone who is threatening or hurting you, he, his sister, and Varvatos can easily get rid of them. If you are sick, he can help treat you until you are better. Even if you do something as small as scraping your knee, he can be there to put a bandage over it.

But yourself? He can’t protect you from yourself. He doesn’t know what to do and that scares him so much.

After what happened with his parents, he is very grateful for the lives of those he loves as he understands just how easily they can be taken away from him. He is afraid that one day you will be gone and all that will remain is him.

Krel would have found out about your self-harm either on his own or someone tipping him off about it. You just didn’t have it in you to tell him yourself.

Krel then begins to really try and learn human medicine. He would spend hours reading medical articles, watching first-aid videos, and taking copious notes about everything he learns, even if it grosses him out a bit (organic organisms were never really something he was interested in before).

He tries to come up with other things you can do when you feel like hurting yourself; Drawing/coloring, writing, reading, playing games, anything that will distract you. He’s always sending you ideas especially when he’s not with you and knows how you’re feeling.

And to both of your credits, your self-harm does lessen in both severity and quantity. But unfortunately, it doesn’t always help since old habits die hard.

Krel is there in an instant to help you when you relapse assuming you tell him you need help. Even if you decide not to tell him immediately and care for yourself that day/night, Krel almost always finds out sometime after and worries over you about it.

His hours spent learning first aid pay off when goes to treat your wounds; Cuts, burns, bruises, bites, you’re convinced that Krel can treat any minor injury. And you’re grateful for that.

Krel is thorough about disinfecting any open wounds with hydrogen peroxide or Neosporin over burns and is incredibly gentle when wrapping them in gauze. He likes to check on them every few days as well to make sure they’re healing correctly.

He holds you close to him afterward -- all four arms wrapped around you and face pressed into your neck/shoulder -- and begs you not to leave him. At first, you’re confused thinking he meant, like, break up with him. It isn’t until you give it more thought that you realize that he doesn’t want to leave him through death.

If you ever express feelings of guilt -- whether verbal or through body language -- Krel quickly dismisses them from your mind by telling you how he wants to help you and how much he loves you. That he wouldn’t bother doing all of this if he didn’t see anything of substance in you.

If you ever express a desire to die, -- whether through suicide or some freak accident -- Krel will look cool on the outside but on the inside, he will be panicking. As hard as he may try, Krel could never understand why you want to die.

Even if you explain it to Krel -- Everyone and everything that troubles you and the awful guilt you constantly feel by just being alive -- he believes that there is always a reasonable and achievable solution to your problems. It’s not that he’s trying to downplay your problems or your emotions, he’s just naturally more of a rational thinker even under stress.

But even though he doesn’t understand the emotions themselves, he does understand that human emotions can elicit other undesirable responses and thoughts.

Krel will constantly tell you how much he loves you and that he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if you were dead.

He does what he can to push those thoughts from your head.

As written earlier, Krel likes to spend time with you in person. Not just because he loves you sm but also because it makes it easier to keep an eye on you and intervene when necessary.

Def says something along the lines of, “I’m happy you’re alive.” And the first time he said that you cried so hard he thought he insulted you lmao. You had to explain to him that you weren’t insulted but relieved and overjoyed.

Krel is not the most emotionally intelligent person out there, but he tries to be and is willing to understand them for you.

When you had shown up at school with a busted lip, bloody and bruised knuckles, and a dull gash on your cheek, Krel freaked the fuck out. The moment he spotted you walking to your locker from his own locker he was all over you.

“What happened?” Krel cried while gently taking your face into one of his hands while the other went to grab your hand.

“It’s nothing,” You mutter, pulling your face out of his grasp and taking a step back. Krel scoffed, looking almost offended while saying,

“Nothing? Nothing did that to you?”

“I just-” You start, raising your hands up in defense before dropping them at your sides, “I got in a fight with Steve. It was over something stupid. We’ve known each other for most of our lives; I just worry about him.” You cross your arms to hold onto yourself and look anywhere Krel isn’t. Krel moved his head so that it was in your line of vision, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“I take it you don’t want to talk about it?” He asked. You nod ‘yes,’ and Krel frowns.

“I won’t push you then, but I really want to get you treated,” He says, taking a step closer to you. You stay where you are and allow him to hold your hands.

“Later, I’ll be fine for now,” You say while bringing up one of his hands to kiss the top of it, “You can have Aja or even Mother patch me up after school.”

Krel looks at your knuckle hesitantly before agreeing, trusting that you truly would be fine until after the school day.

The moment the last bell rang he made a beeline to find you and ran you to his house as quickly as possible. The two of you were the only ones home when you got there, so Krel wasted no time in having one of the blanks retrieve a first aid kit. Once given to him, Krel attempts to treat your injuries but fails pretty miserably.

You end up showing him how to clean and wrap different kinds of cuts and bruises. It’s when you’re in the middle of cleaning your knuckles in the sink that Krel says something that makes your stomach drop.

“Mother, can you scan Y/N for any more injuries, please?”

“Wha-Mother! You don’t have to do that!” You shout panicked and covered your arms in a vain attempt to conceal your other injuries.

“Numerous other injuries found upon Y/N in the upper arm, forearm, and thigh regions. Approximately 27 cuts to the epidermis and 3, 1st-degree burns found.”

“What!?” Krel turned around so fast to face you, you swear you saw his electric blue hair whip from the air, “Where?! I demand you show me!”

“No!” You cry back panicked, hands gripping the side of the sink behind you. Krel scowls and grows before shouting,

“Mother, show me a hologram of where the injuries are on Y/N!”

“My King-in-waiting, It would seem that I have breached a highly sensitive topic on behalf of Y/N. I believe it best that they discuss it with you themself.” Mother responds. Krel sighs, his upper right hand running through his hair.

“Y/N,” He starts, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m really worried.” He carefully walks over to you but leaves a foot of space between the two of you.

“Will you please show me where you’re hurt?” He asks quietly. Your eyes begin to burn with tears and your mouth opens to explain yourself before shutting quickly with a ‘clank’ of your teeth. Unable to speak, you place your hands into his lower ones, palms up, and nod your head. Gently, Krel’s other hands push your long sleeves higher up your arms, and he’s baffled at the numerous cuts he sees littering your arms. There were many different colors, thicknesses, lengths, and stages of healing -- some were a day old while others were weeks old. He ran his thumb over one of the older ones.

“Wha…” Krel stutters, eyes dancing over your arms, “What are these? What-Who did this?” His eyes flicker up to yours.

Your jaw twitches -- wanting to speak but unable to -- and you pull one of your hands away from his to point to yourself. Krel’s eyebrows furrow.

“I-I don’t understand,” He whispers, his own eyes beginning to water, “I want to understand.”

“I did this,” You mumble out, pulling your other hand away from his, “I am…ashamed.” Tears begin to fall and you scrub gently at your eyes to dry them.

“You-You did this?” Krel asks, confused and stunned, “You willingly hurt yourself? Why?”

You heave out a few breaths trying to figure out how to relay your emotions to him. While difficult to say, you manage to squeeze out three words.

“I hate-” You stammer, “I hate myself.”

And Krel is immediately embracing you.

“I love you,” He says, cupping your face in his upper hands and staring into your eyes with his other two around your waist, “I love you so much. Please don’t ever say you hate yourself.”

Gently, he kisses your forehead, your cheek, and then your lips.

The two of you are left a sobbing mess of tender skin and emotion in the kitchen for Varvatos and Aja to find later when they arrive home.

#3below #tales of arcadia #toa #toa 3below #krel tarron #krel tarron x reader #krel #krel x reader #aja tarron #varvatos vex #toa x reader #3below x reader #tales of arcadia x reader #thewildsophia writes

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