#this particular context But that is what happened and you will pretend it makes sense. Please

[toxifoxx]

okay. henry breaking it off with william because they Just Cant Be Together Like This(bla bla bla 60's/70's homophobia) and he's a Good Christian Man. immediately going to marry a woman to make up for his 'sins'. william getting a wife because he sees henry doing it and feels like its something he has to do. dating around, escalating to sleeping around trying to fill the void, hoping someone will click but nobody makes him feel the way henry does at all. even clara, who came the closest out of anyone else, was still more out of obligation than true love cause of an accidental pregnancy. as much as william loves his kids - michael was a mistake and he really wasn't ready to have a kid yet, locking him to a path he wasn't sure he wanted to walk. he's a shitty parent because he was never actually prepared and at that point the diner is taking up a lot of his time so he just kinda escapes to the diner and buries himself in his work most of the time. once michael's siblings are born, he tends to give better treatment to them(better experience + he actually wanted them), even though he loves them all there is definitely favoritism and a hint of resentment. despite knowing that michael didnt do anything wrong. of course he feels a lot more justified in that resentment after evan(CC)'s death

#SINCE the accidental pregnancy in college storyline simply wouldn't work after i increased william's age #(michael would be wayyy too old by 83 - like in his 20's) #this is the adjustment that i have come up with #casually avoiding mentioning william was the one who got pregnant because i know the 'marriage to save face' trope barely makes sense in #this particular context But that is what happened and you will pretend it makes sense. Please #also yes henry is christian not mormon im not touching mormonism with a ten foot pole thank you #hey this is actually like. my first un-prompted lore post. yayyyy! written at 3am btw #toxi fnaf lore #toxi.txt

[nativehueofresolution]

homophobic shiv memes aside, i do think there is actually something interesting about how shiv interacts with her brothers' sexuality/implied queerness. with roman, she seized on his sexuality as potential weakness, painting him as a sexual deviant to logan and seemingly being the one to reveal to logan that roman has had sexual interactions with men as an attempt to bolster her status and gain leverage ('i mean i think it's a potential problem. there's issues, you know? everyone says that he used to get jerked off by his personal trainer, and now there's this gerri thing... it's a, it's a track record you know?'). she also later uses their father's disgust with roman to try to convince her brother to go against their dad ('rome, you know dad is never going to choose you, because he thinks there's something wrong with you' --an ambiguously worded line but one i think in the context of what had just happened prior to that scene where logan literally asked roman 'are you scared of pussy, son?' during their last conversation, this makes the most sense as a reference to his sexuality).

she also just straight up uses the fact that he Does Not Fuck to be mean when she's annoyed with roman ('you can't hide under the covers with mommy... someday you know you're gonna have to actually fuck something.' a remark that connor and arguably kendall -depending on how sincere you think his comments to shiv are - immediately clock as being over the line, while shiv plays coy and pretends to not understand why roman's upset). it's a vulnerability for her to exploit. (though it's also interesting to note her success with this tactic is limited. logan is furious with roman, but he still brushes shiv off after she outs roman. roman's queerness may disqualify him, but it doesn't change the fact shiv is a woman and so was never a real option to start with.)

the possibility of kendall's queerness, on the other hand, seems more to strike her as a threat, the most obvious example being her already infamous face during the 'you kiss guys on molly' scene. regardless of how much you want to read that as a confirmation of a relationship between kendall and stewy (and i personally am inclined to take it as such), the basic facts are that kendall is attempting to cozy up to stewy and specifically bringing up his attraction to men on molly as something that makes stewy mundane rather than an edgelord, and shiv shows visible discomfort at kendall's blasé attitude and his intimacy with stewy. the director mark mylod has pointed to the scene in particular during multiple interviews as one of the earliest signs of shiv's wobbling, because she sees upfront the closeness between kendall and stewy and how she 'could be sidelined by that relationship'.

it's interesting that this comes after the past few episodes spotlighted kendall's relationship with nate, shiv's ex and the guy who - apart from stewy and possibly the waiter - has the most gay subtext with kendall. in 4x08, the fact that kendall was close enough to nate that he would call him to double check shiv's story and that nate, either on purpose or unknowingly, revealed shiv was lying, ended up destroying her only chance of staving off the mencken call. while the scene itself has nothing to do with sexuality, shiv's goals were undermined because of an existing relationship between kendall and nate. her relationships as a sister and a lover did not give her enough sway to stop the interaction from playing out as it did. as the lone female, shiv is constantly shut out by the homosocial spaces that exist in the business world that she cannot access (we see kendall and roman do business deals in the men's room more than once). still, we have seen with nate in particular shiv is sometimes able to use her sexual appeal to try and achieve her goals (flirting with nate to try and get him to do oppo research on marcia for example), even if it is not her preferred way to deal with things. but if kendall is also able to attract men, this is another way in which he's competing with her, and one she feels poised to lose at because kendall already has access to men in a way she can't in their spheres, and she's seen over and over the bond between men prioritized above all else. she's already inclined to think kendall will sideline her for a man he wants to keep on his good side - she just lived through roman as co-ceo - and now during their meeting with stewy she sees kendall show an easy familiarity with stewy's sexual history with men that he uses to butter him up. even if she isn't taking that to mean they've personally slept together (and i think she is), she's being reminded that kendall is someone who can form intimate relationships with other men (in contrast to roman, who is kind of repressed about it) and use that to his advantage, which undercuts her already limited influence. it's just the eternal boys club taken to another level.

#like roman is a tool or a joke but kendall is a threat to her. even in this context. thinky thoughts! #succession #shiv roy #kendall roy #roman roy #kaitlin speaks

[meanieinspace]

I will probably regret posting this, too, and hopefully my brain can find sth more interesting to occupy itself with soon but like there seems to be this conflict between some transmasculine people still having some stake in the general abstract concept of womanhood on one hand and the queer-/feminist spaces they come out of that judge being transmasculine as a sort of betrayal on the other hand. And imo both of these positions actually do influence very much how both of these not really seperate parties treat trans women.

There is a sort of projection happening, not in a psychanalytic sense, but simply in the sense that many transmasculine people obviously assume that trans women still have a lingering emotional stake or attachment in/towards "manhood". An assumption that is mirrored by the sort of feminist-y concept of toxic masculinity, which is the great force that hurts our poor gay men, desensitizes the het bois and terrorizes trans women.

And it is hard to explain, maybe because it just always turns out in such a way that the people you have the least contact with are the ones you try the least to incorporate into your world, that it wasn't toxic masculinity that hurt me as a trans woman (what a string of words). It were normal, sometimes even healthy men. And it was having to pretend to be a healthy man. It feels really stupid to say this, because it is a sort of transsexualism 101, that if taken out of context can be weaponized against people that don't fit a particular type of trans womanhood - but it is still important to make clear that "but you were socialized male" and "trans women's childhood would be so much better if not for toxic masculinity" for whatever else these sentiments are trying to say or are actually saying, they also, at their core, deny the undeniable and, to me at least, defining relation between trans women and "manhood" that is constituted by the very simple fact that the desire to want to be a woman (or be like a woman) makes even the least "toxic" and most healthy "manhood" turn on you - a hostile place at best, for the very lucky, and a very easily wielded tool to break you, in any case.

I'm not interested in moralizing "manhood" or masculinity. I never had a problem being a masculine woman. For personal and hopefully obvious reasons (and also because they are annoying) my hatred for men runs very, very deep, and that does inform my worldview, but it doesn't make a political or social insight except for that: you can easily marginalize trans women by positing a world where wanting to be a woman is not at odds with the very essence of being a man or "manhood" or masculinity or whatever. And as people keep pointing out in the never ending discourse on this site the association between trans women and "manhood" that follows from this willful ignorance of trans 101 stuff does not make misandry, just as the weaponized association of a cis woman with "manhood" to hurt her does not stem from misandry.

#im a hater #okay i lied i do want to moralize men fuck 'em #gatekeep gaslight girlboss streetfight #transmisogyny

[ranchthoughts]

thinking about Pat, Pran, and competition

Pat and Pran being competitive is a cornerstone of their relationship: they battle academically, they tease one another constantly, they fight physically, and they even officially get together through a bet. Pat and Pran have grown up with so much competition in their lives it makes sense that it would remain part of their dynamic, albeit with different contexts and meanings (i.e, as fun foreplay).

Pat and Pran were pitted against each other as kids, and then in university once again found themselves on opposite sides of a rivalry between their two faculties. However, the competition between the two of them has never involved feelings of genuine hatred. They maintained a fairly friendly relationship through childhood (they spoke to each other through tin cans, they were in a band and wrote a song together, etc.), and in university they pretty quickly started working together to keep their faculties peaceful and had limits on how far they'd go when fighting (Pat promised Pa he wouldn't physically hurt Pran). Pat says it himself in episode 6: despite being forced to compete against Pran every day of his life, he could never hate him. Competing was something they did - something they went through - together.

Competition is somewhat of a safe space for Pran and Pat - it is what they know, it is how they know to interact. Moreover, the first time they openly did not compete/worked together (writing and performing the song in high school), Pran was sent away. Pran says "When we are together [i.e., not competing], bad things happen." Competing is safer/more possible than not competing, because not competing is not sustainable with the families they have. This expresses itself in multiple ways: Pat and Pran pretending to fight at school, Pat and Pran not interacting at home, etc, but I wanted to highlight one particular aspect of their dynamic where this angle of competition is present:

Pran and Pat talk constantly about what they owe to each other. Pat owes Pran because he saved Pa all those years ago. When Pat tries to repay him, for example by offering to be the one who moves out, Pran refuses him. @dudeyuri wrote about this dynamic here: Pran uses competition and the excuse of "You Owe Me" to keep Pat in his life. He can't be Pat's friend because their families wouldn't allow that, and he definitely can't be his boyfriend, but Pran cares for Pat too much to lose him from his life completely. At the same time, Pran doesn't want to admit how desperately he wants Pat in his life (with Pran's feelings that would be too revealing), so he uses this competitive concept of owing something, of not being repaid satisfactorily, to keep Pat in his life. We talk about people inventing "intricate rituals" which give plausible deniability for things they ordinarily could not do or should not want in society (see this piece by artist Barbara Kruger) - Pat and Pran construct intricate rituals of debt to keep one another in their lives and intricate rituals of competition to allow themselves to pursue things they ordinarily would not dare to (e.g., using the Bet to flirt with each other). Speaking of the Bet, @telomeke-bbs (x) and @inventedfangirling (x, x) have has already written about how Pat utilized the competition of the Bet to get Pran comfortable with expressing his feelings and courting/being courted, and how he probably got the idea from Pran himself. Once again, competition is a safe space, a familiar space, for Pran and Pat.

This connects to another idea I've been tossing around: Pat and Pran are fluent in each other. They know each other very well and they rarely have to verbalize things explicitly to be understood (I talked about that with regards to the ep. 5 rooftop scene here). Pran and Pat's competitiveness is another example of this; to another couple, constant competition would take its toll (we see this a bit with Phupha and Tian in the Our Skyy 2 crossover episodes, for example), but to Pat and Pran, it's an important part of their puzzle. They've been living in this competitive dynamic since they were young, and they know each other's limits. For example, when Pran overhears Ming's comments and Pat is immediately concerned for him (see here), or how Pat and Pran keep their flirting with others (Ink and Wau) lighthearted despite trying to invoke jealousy in the other, and when it is too much, like when Pat gets hurt that Pran gave Wai his guitar to look after, the other realizes and reaches out to make amends. @thegayneurodivergentagenda points out a further example - despite competing and teasing Pran all the time, Pat always celebrates Pran's wins. The Bet, and how it utilizes competition, is another example of how well Pat and Pran know each other. Pat knows something competitive like that is the best way to get Pran engaged and feeling at ease.

Despite these shared experiences of competition, Pat and Pran have different relationships to competition. Both of them were pushed to be the best by their parents, but the differences in their parents and their personalities means they reacted to this upbringing and internalized it differently. Pran's parents wanted him to succeed (and to beat Pat), but in many ways this jived with his perfectionist, detail-oriented personality. Pat, on the other hand, was pushed to succeed by a father who had specific ideas of what success [and masculinity] looked like (fierce, excelling in contact sports and academic, a leader, etc.) which didn't necessarily suit Pat's personality (he is soft, clingy, loves to be cared for and to care for others, etc. - see @kattahj's thoughts here). We see how much easier it is, comparatively, for Pat to break free of his father's expectations and control: in the Our Skyy 2 episodes we learn that Ming is not very involved in Pat's life and Pat doesn't care what he thinks, and in episode 12 we saw how distant and strained Pat's relationship is with Ming (see @grapejuicegay's post on Pat and his father here, and @miscellar and others' here). Pran, meanwhile, stays closer to his mother and deeper under her influence for longer - in the Our Skyy 2 episodes he talks about how involved she is in his life (and there are a number of reasons for this, including his own personality, him being an only child, etc., as well as the similarities between his mother's dreams for him and his own).

For Pat, competing has never been something he was oriented towards naturally, so it is easier for him to remove the drive to win and the angst of competition to just enjoy the fun and sexiness of it all. Pat tells us he always lets his lover win - competing is, to him, a chance to demonstrate love. And how fitting for Pat that the clearest way he knows to show his love is to acquiesce - he's had the need to win hammered into his head from childhood, so of course to him the greatest thing you can do for someone you love is to give up the win. And of course that's how he interacts with people he loves, when the person he's loved since childhood (unknowingly or not) has been that person he was supposed to beat (see @transpat's beautiful post about Pat, Pran, and haq here).

For Pran, competition is encoded a bit deeper into his personality, so it retains a bit of an edge. And once again, that makes sense. Pran's personality is more suited to perfectionism and the drive to succeed, and Pran's been relying on competition as a way and a reason to keep his feelings for Pat at bay. Pat is delighted to be able to cede, while Pran is not at that point yet: he still has a desire to win, to prove himself as competent, which provides friction and hesitation in his relationship with Pat (we see him wrestling with this over the course of the Our Skyy 2 episodes). Despite this, competition remains something Pat and Pran do together, and Pran is slowly learning to let himself relax into it, to show vulnerability, especially as they begin to build themselves a life where competition is on their own terms.

Competition for Pat and Pran becomes a way to resolve or work through tensions (see Pat and Pran competing to see who can get Phupha's signature of approval on the architecture play first, which quickly becomes a cooperative effort - @miscellar details that here), or a way to demonstrate love and understanding of the other (see Pran challenging Pat to prove his love by publicly claiming him, something Pat has been longing to do - @dudeyuri details that here).

In @miscellar's post on episode 12, they defined Pat and Pran's ethos as "they don’t win or lose when they compete. they compete because they love each other and the result doesn’t matter," and in another post @miscellar says "competing is their love language and it’s how they kept each other in their lives, and in that sense competing is also a promise between them". For a long time, Pat and Pran had been competing but not really winning. While the competition forced by their parents did provide them with a powerful shared experience, it also kept them apart and unhappy. Pran and Pat kept up another competition of sorts, a You Owe Me type of relationship where they would never actually declare a winner or an end, because the point wasn't to settle a debt but rather to provide an excuse for staying in one another's lives. Then they started another competition, the Bet, one where they knew from the beginning there could be no winner because they had both already lost and the point was to provide a safe space to explore their budding relationship. Furthermore, all of these competitions required cooperation to keep up: Pat and Pran had to pretend to fight in front of friends and family, they had to pretend there are still unresolved debts, they had to pretend they didn't know that the Bet has been lost from the start. Competing means committing to the Bit, and committing to the Bit is something that brings Pat and Pran together. For Pran and Pat, competition has always been a means of connection.

#bb #bad buddy #bb meta #bad buddy meta #ranch thoughts #and of course the themes of DENIABILITY do not worry I am ruminating on this

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you have any particular thoughts on Netflix Avatar Season 1? I haven't watched it myself but I would be curious to hear what you have to say.

I do indeed! I didn't watch it right away, but I have watched it indeed. I think there are merits to certain changes they did, I can see the sense in many of them, that doesn't mean EVERYTHING they changed was good, but it does feel like they were engaging with the original content in a far more creative way than a lot of people are willing to acknowledge or try themselves. No, it isn't a perfect remake of ATLA, but being the critic that I have been of the original show, nobody could ever convince me that the original was perfect, just as this new show isn't perfect.

I want to make a big post on the subject one day and try to get to everything it brought up... once I have more time on my hands, I'll try to do that. But, to give you a bit to chew on... I'll try to do one good vs. one bad on my part, of whatever I can remember right now.

GOOD: I actually do not mind the multiple prologues in the first episode, even though I don't think the changes were handled perfectly. I do believe that showing the genocide is not nearly as bad a choice as a lot of people pretend it is (the way it was portrayed is questionable mostly from a tactical point of view but that's just me being a freak about that... studying basic warfare really fucks up your suspension of disbelief when it comes to war scenes). Mainly, I think it IS important to show it due to the amount of people who are still convinced that Aang didn't suffer nearly as much as most other popular characters did -- that soooo many people have made these claims without a care in the world throughout the twenty years since ATLA first aired proves that the genocide was not treated with the severity it should have been by the OG show. I'm not even sorry to say it. It doesn't feel like a trivialization of violence, it feels like actually setting straight the degree of violence a genocide entails. People asking for a less intense version of genocide basically appear to be asking for the actual gravity of such events to be sanitized so they can chew on them more easily... and that's exactly what leads to it being trivialized, minimized and not taken seriously, if you ask me.

BAD: I don't particularly like the way Fire Lords are so... casual with commoners. Both Ozai and Sozin stood on the same level as a rebel/spy right before setting them on fire, no doubt it's meant to be some sort of flex, but... men of their ideologies and pride would not want to be up close and personal with anyone they consider that far beneath them. Odd choice there, imo.

MOSTLY GOOD: Aang does feel way more serious and has much more dramatic gravitas in everything he does. And this is not a bad choice, in essence. I don't particularly love that they tried to lessen it with occasional "Aang's a silly kid!" verbal reminders that don't actually have any proper visual evidence, because most the silly things he's up for are things the two older kids (Sokka and Katara) are perfectly fine with doing too, hence, he doesn't feel childish at all and it comes off out of place for him to talk about being more childish than he actually is. So... they really didn't need dialogue to try to emphasize his childhood if they weren't going to write him being a goofball. It's fine if he isn't one. He always could be a more serious character, it's only a problem when there's no further substance to him than just brooding (which is what I remember from the Shyamalan movie...).

WEIRD: Aang and Katara both had weird scenes of standing around doing nothing but smiling at their hometowns in episode 1. Maybe it was done as a parallel between them, but it felt a bit... overly theatric? If that makes sense? Like... I know we need to see their daily lives and the context in which they've lived... but it doesn't feel entirely logical for that to happen with them just standing in place and smiling fondly at their world. Most people do not do that in their daily lives...?

GOOD: ... Contrary to what a lot of the fandom seems to think, I actually like the suuuuuper slowburn Kataang here because any potential romantic payoff those two might get isn't nearly as in-your-face as it was in canon. The way their friendship is growing feels far more organic. And some of my favorite character moments in the show were actually between them. Which is not something I'd EVER say about the original show. There's a different sense of maturity for the characters here, and I like that.

BAD: I... do not like Sokka's changes. No, it's not about the sexism. It makes sense to me that this aspect of his character would be changed, updated in a sense: you can even still read him as sexist in some regards! It just isn't as simplistic and straightforward as it was before. But that's... not what bugs me the most. The show genuinely surprised me by taking him far more seriously as a character than I anticipated they would, but they absolutely picked weird choices with him in stuff like his family issues (... the Hakoda changes are just straight-up cringe for me, there's no justification for making him some sort of bitchy soccer mom who congratulates his son but then shits on him behind his back??), his insecurities as a warrior and the frequent remarks about how maybe that's not his path in life even though he does just fine at it, and... his romantic relationships. It's wild, because I actually think they did Sukka a thousand times better than it is in canon, and yet in doing so, they absolutely deadlocked themselves into a whole other problem: Sokka bonding that much with Suki and then hitting on a random Fire Nation soldier like two episodes later?? Then having the romance of his lifetime with Yue by the end of the season?? Ngl, it feels like we're watching one of those sitcoms where characters switch love interests in the blink of an eye. Changing this element of his character this way, when Suki's romance in particular was given new qualities and way more substance... may not have been a great call since it makes him come off insanely shallow, ready to get with any girl he comes across, and frankly, he didn't feel like that in the original show to me. He's also not really funny when he's supposed to be? Part of what made Sokka funny originally was his role as a voice of reason while everyone else ignored him. They occasionally tried to mimic that here... but in ways that didn't really work? Also, the Ron-Weasley-In-HP-Movies brand of comedy of "watch this guy scream, it's soooo funny" is... so trite at this point. Please, don't. Personally, this really feels like a whole other character who isn't Sokka. And some people might think that's great... I'm not one of them. Maybe I'm just experiencing the crisis a lot of people are over Katara with Sokka? But where changes with her do seem to go for things I actually wasn't fond of in her character, I don't really feel like they did better with Sokka in the least.

GOOD: ... "Katara learned waterbending too fast", they say: she did in canon too. A month of training under Pakku is not nearly enough time to justify her being deemed a master in canon. Complaining about how she didn't get that training at all here and still got deemed a master gets a "meh" out of me because I frankly do not see it being remotely as different from what canon did as people want to think it is. Katara was fighting Pakku with way too much power in the OG show for a kid who never got formal training to begin with, and somehow nobody minds that. I don't think someone who was on that level of power in the OG show was nearly as inferior to a seasoned master as a bunch of people want to believe. So... outrage about how they sped up her learning process when we in fact see a LOT more internal growth for Katara, and a lot more depth to her bending source here, makes no sense to me.

Along with that: bending has always been connected with a bender's internal energy, which is related to their peace of mind and internal balance. This show did not invent that. Firebenders are the ones who are most explicitly shown to be connected to their feelings that way, sure, but if you needed ATLA or LOK to non-stop feature characters talking about how a person's chakras had to be cleansed and their hearts clear and their every spiritual thread cleaned up in order to reach their best possible shapes as benders? You probably have bigger problems in analyzing this show than just whining over whatever the liveaction did. A straightforward connection for Katara with her emotions and bending isn't a negative choice in the slightest to me, more so with a character who has constantly been characterized as deeply connected to her emotions: it makes sense that her bending works and evolves the way it does in the liveaction to me. Sorry not sorry.

BAD: Zhao. Uh... I've seen people say they like him here? I felt like I was watching a con artist. It's not the actor's fault, clearly he was given this concept to work with and he did the best he could with it, but the idea of removing Zhao from all prior connection to the Royal Family, making him a total unknown who came out of nowhere and rises to prominence through conniving and scheming feels like they decided to merge him with Long Feng, maybe? And it might even backfire if they DO have Long Feng next season (... they should???) and he has a very similar profile to what they did with Zhao. I didn't enjoy his characterization at all, he was just... weird. So, not a change I was big on.

GOOD: Iroh. My god. I hate the fact that I'm saying this. But I will say it was insanely cathartic to watch that EK soldier beating him up. And that's not all: Iroh actually seems to be struggling actively with right and wrong here, showing hesitation over the war, and most importantly... HAVING A PERSONAL DYNAMIC WITH AANG??!!! I never imagined I would be that happy to see that, but I was. The few moments those two had together were damn solid, some of the best in the show (and the best for Iroh, sorry not sorry, I have never ever been an Iroh-Zuko obsessive fan and I genuinely find myself more intrigued by Iroh's potential bonding with other people, never thought about it with Aang but this show 100% blindsided me with it in a good way). It seriously made me mad that the OG basically never gave them that chance besides... that one scene in the catacombs that was very much just Iroh being a fortune cookie? Aang actually being an element that basically waters the seeds of doubt in Iroh's head is a GREAT change. I said it and I'll stand by it.

BAD: Hahn and not because of the usual reasons: their characterization rework of Hahn was fine. More than fine. The actor they cast was also very pretty! All of which makes it EXTREMELY questionable that Yue somehow has this perfectly decent guy and... uh... chooses the reworked Sokka instead? Like, I know that's how the OG story went, but when you turn Hahn from an opportunistic dick to a perfectly admirable warrior and individual, and feature Yue saying he's great but he's "not the boy of her dreams" (you... dreamt about him ONE TIME?? He's never been in the Spirit World besides that, so wuuuut...??), it makes her choice in romantic interests feel extremely questionable and weird. I'm all for Yue being given more to work with, but this seriously feels like she's... a little crazy. Hahn comes off waaaaaaay too decent for her not to be interested in him... ofc, as long as she's someone attracted to men, which, considering she picked ANOTHER GUY, it's to be assumed that she is?? Ergo nothing makes sense to me. Come to think of it, a lesbian Yue rejecting Hahn is probably the only way her rejection of Hahn would make sense... and it would also not cast such a questionable light on reworked Sokka if he and Yue weren't romantic at all, right after he had that big connection with Suki back when the show began?? So, heh, maybe lesbian Yue is the only thing that would've made sense if Hahn gets reworked for the better like this, sorry not sorry....

GOOD: The full-blown, outright display of Ozai's abuse on Azula rather than subtleties and insinuations. Again, much like in Aang's case with the genocide: PEOPLE DENY AZULA WAS A VICTIM OF ABUSE ALL THE TIME. People pretend Ozai actually loved her on some weird level or that she FELT loved, ergo she was fine and Zuko's the one who was abused. This is not new. We've been dealing with people barking that kind of nonsense since almost twenty years ago. And the backlash from that exact crowd when this show made it evident proves that they refuse to accept Azula as a victim of abuse to this day. Ergo, sorry not sorry: I'm glad they handled it as they did here because it makes it undeniable that Ozai is pushing Azula to extremes and she's pressured to deliver and become the weapon he wants her to be.

BAD: ... the Mother of Faces. That may have been the most egregious offensive and bullshit moments in the entire show. I was so mad when she was brought up at all. It was awful. I hated it. It really must be my most hated moment in the whole thing. UGH.

GOOD: Katara apologized to Sokka once. You know. One time. That, I think, marks the single time in any official Avatar content where she has done that. Call me a salty asshole, but I'm genuinely impressed that they did that, so they get a point for it.

BAD: Bumi. I know some people think the rework for Bumi is great... I could not disagree more. His treatment of Aang is really unacceptable, his behavior is very irresponsible but this time in a vindictive way... I was even reasoning with the fact that he knows Aang is the Avatar, which ALSO happens in the OG, without having known it in the past! The difference? It feels too arbitrary and random that he'd know that here, whereas in the OG show, he IS random and arbitrary, yet somewhere amid so many nonsensical ramblings, he shows insight and intelligence that makes you think there's more to him than meets the eye. I may need to rewatch episode 5 of the OG show in order to confirm this, but I also think that most of the implications there regarding his challenges is that they were actually harmless even if it doesn't look that way all along. Here? They're not harmless at all, he's basically vindictively trying to get Aang to either die for his "sins" or get himself killed through him and neither thing sits well with me at all with this character.

GOOD: Gyatso, expanding on his character and making him a much more straightforward equivalent to Iroh for Aang actually is really helpful, it makes him less of a "stock character" victim to the Fire Nation, it gave him more depth and it makes Aang's bond with him feel much more real. I am very sorry to all OG apologists, but I continue to believe Aang's cheerful behavior was written primarily to appeal to the children demographic that Nickelodeon was aiming for as their audience, which meant he could not be particularly human and truly grieve for everything he had lost. This show doesn't hide that pain at all, and it's particularly good that it does that by showing what a constant presence Gyatso was in Aang's life and by letting them have a manner of final farewell in that episode (... even if I didn't particularly like the episode, but still, it wasn't a bad idea to do that).

BAD: ... call me a consistency freak if you will, but I did not spend all these years obsessively trying to make sense out of the wobbly worldbuilding of the Avatarverse to be told that the entrance to the Cave of Two Lovers is within Omashu and that it leads into the arena within Bumi's Palace. Sorry. I can't accept that. I can't. I legit laughed throughout that whole situation because that's not where the cave of two lovers was, the badgermoles would be causing earthquakes non-stop through the city, and the sewers system would not even work because they'd constantly get fucked up by the creatures (as we know, there's a scene in Book 2 of the kids climbing out of the sewers, so either they won't do the pentapox or they'll forget about the badgermoles conveniently by then...). So. No. Sorry but no. Also, why did they kill Oma??? I know they turned both lovers into women, but... precisely because they did that, why exactly was there any need to change which one died?? Either one you kill is a woman now anyway so... what's the difference? WHY the difference?? Odd.

GOOD: ... Zuko keeps a notebook on his research and investigations into the Avatar. There were many changes to his character but that's the one that stood out the most to me. He actually seems a little bit more methodical, if not smarter, but you know? Kinda smarter anyway for at LEAST thinking that keeping a book with the results of his investigations could help?? Feels like he's actually trying rather than just whining about how rude the world is and how hard he has it. Which, in the end, might ALSO come down to him actually having some hope that Ozai didn't hate him irremediably... which, too, is a good change. I've talked about it before, other people have too: a firstborn firebending male prince has no business being discarded because of incompetence unless he's just THAT pathetic, and even in canon, Zuko wasn't as bad as to justify pushing him out and treating him as shittily as Ozai did without an actual, THOROUGH, exploration of Ozai's motives. You can elaborate, but the show never really did it, and if anything, it offered a bunch of conflictive information about why Zuko thought his father liked him. Here, it makes more sense that he thinks Ozai isn't as much of a bitch as he really is: the Agni Kai is a lot more interesting because they merged both Zuko vs. Zhao and Zuko vs. Ozai into one. The fact that Ozai actually burns Zuko and defeats him BECAUSE he was punishing him for not taking advantage of an enemy's weakness? It's a million times more telling about Zuko's character than what we saw in canon, where he was down to fight an old man out of hybris and then shat himself as soon as his father stepped up instead. So... I don't like this Zuko, which tells you they're doing him right anyway x'DDDD but I find there are a few elements about him that make him at LEAST a little more respectable than he was in the OG show. Among them? He's not constantly ranting about honor but actually lashing out at dishonorable choices out of principle, which makes it sound like he has a WAY better grasp on that concept than he does in canon :'D sue me. This is a Zuko rework too, and fortunately, not ONLY geared towards sanitizing him (even though there IS a fair amount of sanitizing too... which annoys me, but what else could we expect in the era of political correction).

BAD: ... Why the fuck did they decide the way to fix Iroh harassing June was to make her horny for him? Please? Of all things??? All they had to do was just... not make any romantic/sexual implications there. At all. Was that so hard to achieve? This is probably the second worst thing for me in the entire show, ngl. I do not understand the need for it at all. Most of all when they CLEARLY changed it due to knowing Iroh absolutely was a bastard in the OG with his behavior towards her. Isn't it easier to just NOT put any implications of attraction in there? I mean, I should be happy June didn't fully harass Iroh but the way they presented it, it felt like he wasn't even comfortable with it either! This... is not the way you take revenge for a character sexually harassing another one. Bad, bad take, I don't know what made them do this but they absolutely did not "fix" this, they overcorrected it and made it gross as fuck to me anyhow, most of all with the context of knowing that Iroh was the one being inappropriate as fuck back in the OG.

ALRIGHT. I know there's bound to be more, and I probably could think of more soon but I think I'm giving you this for now or else I'll end up making my major post here x'D

All in all, I don't think this show is unwatchable, I absolutely understand people who think it was fun, I also understand people who couldn't get used to the changes and outright dropped it. What I can't understand/accept is either pretending this show is the greatest thing ever (much like I don't think the OG ATLA is...), or pretending that it's the worst one either. This show engaged with a lot of elements in different ways than the original did: not all of it was a miss, not all of it was a hit. And I feel like it's a matter of fundamental, human decency and respect not to go completely berserk taking a ten-ton dump on this show, which to this date is the biggest production in Hollywood with a primarily Asian cast and crew of all time, from what I know, by pretending it has destroyed this franchise completely and that any support for it must come from brainwashed idiots or "not true fans". The gate-keepy attitude comes as absolutely no surprise in this fandom, ofc, but it's still disgusting to see. You CAN be critical of this show with dignity. You CAN do it while respecting other people who enjoyed it completely. It's not too much to ask. I may have learned that lesson the hard way with the ATLA comics, but even then, it wasn't my M.O. to jump into every single comics-positive post to tell people why they sucked and how dumb they were for enjoying them.

That's what I've got for the time being :'D hope it's enough for now.

#zuko-always-lies #natla #it's not perfect #neither is the OG #oh I didn't mention it in the final paragraphs but #I find it particularly hilarious when people rage at the new one #for things the OG did too #like I'm sorry here but you can't come to me and praise the OG for the exact stuff you hated the remake for #at least be consistent?? #anyway anyway there we are for now

[sleepynegress]

HELLO! I'm sorry you've been getting idiotic anonymous people being rude about Uhura. I saw your lovely post about her and it made me happy to see that people appreciate her! She is so much more than lots of fandom pretends. Also I high-key agree that Karl Urban absolutely nailed his performance of Bones. It was so dead on!!! Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. So their really gentle scenes made me SO happy when they finally happened. The warmth and gentleness shone through and won me over entirely. Zoe played sharp with just enough warmth. But I still love Nichelle's too. Uhura is great! Anyway didnt have a huge point here just happy that you also love her and call people out LOL

The main issue is the misogynoir and perhaps TERF leanings against the most recent player in the part, Celia Rose Gooding. She is non-binary and goes by she/they pronouns. She also has a short close-cropped style which beautifully frames her face. The troll is hyper-fixated on attacking that, disparaging her presentation of femininity using coded language to imply aggression or masculinity. This is extra backward because, of the three players who took on Uhura, she has the darkest skin tone, has the fullest lips and a wide nose bridge, and her hair is the only one not in a straightened or processed style (which is fine for an option BTW). All of these things together are rare aesthetics for a Black woman, and appropriate, especially for an sub-Saharan African woman's character presentation, especially in a futuristic sci-fi mainstream iconic franchise, like Star Trek and so important for young people to see as normalized femininity. I think of Lupita Nyong'o talking about the effect Alek Wek had on her...just being there as this South Sudanese supermodel, with very dark skin and short natural hair...

Celia Rose is the particular target this troll has framed as their "fanhood", with thinly veiled insults and backhanded "compliments" that keep dogwhistling in their posts with various account names.

As for Zoe's Uhura, that professionalism and sharpness, when it came to her abilities and focus on her studies was an obvious intentional writing choice to stave off the very criticisms *she still got* because of the misogynoir of that era...

People were accusing her of coercing Spock into her ship assignment and even assaulting him(!).

That mess never makes sense, but hating Black women for existing or having what we are perceived as not "deserving" is sadly an old tradition (see those who make a hobby out of hating Megan Markle). And now, I see people praising the OG Uhura, Nichelle, for aspects of her character that were actually forms of limitations on her because of production bigotry...i.e. the forced interracial kiss, that people constantly cite as some forward thing w/o the context that it was forced because the implication was that no one in her crew would willingly kiss a Black person. IOW, aliens assaulting them for their entertainment was the lesser evil and more palatable to white audiences than someone choosing to love on Uhura (and I would add *especially* someone white, because even showing Black affection and love in that time was a rare thing, and her episode showing some yearning towards an old love showed no physical affection between them either). Anyway, all that to bring it right back around to ALL the Uhuras are great. And the weird microaggressions, macroaggressions, hatred, and attempts to shove them into a particular box are misogynoir; a microcosm of the kind of bullshit too many Black women go through on the regular just for existing.

Celia is a Rose and I hope she shines, gets loved on, has friends (including some Black ones) who are genuinely concerned for her well-being and actually help her when she's in need.

P.S. I missed this reading way too fast before but this bit is sus IMO Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. If you meant Spock not reading Uhura? Then yeah, I agree. If you mean Uhura not reading Spock?? I can't walk with you there because Spock literally almost hindered Uhura's career and got her on an exploded ship(!) because of his emotional bias and almost killed Kirk on the bridge because he was not managing his emotions well. Meanwhile Uhura read him well enough to provide some comfort after the loss of his mother.

#uhura #meta #answer #star trek #celia rose gooding #star trek: strange new worlds #she reminds me of kim from a different world

[unrequitedloveletter]

happy fall!

you’re laying waste to halloween

can i request a nikolai x reader enemies to lovers fic, please? she/her pronouns for the reader :D

maybe one where the reader is a kaelish princess whose family is searching for suitors for her, and nikolai just so happens to be a potential suitor. similar vibes to when they held a ball in king of scars to find nikolai a wife, but its for a kaelish princess! :D

i think it'd be cool if the reader befriended zoya, who tries to get the reader and nikolai to get along. i love the dynamic where one of them's a tease (nikolai) and the other (reader) pretends to hate it, but secretly gets butterflies every time. eventually, they begin tolerating eachother and end up confessing to another. (cue zoya emerging from the corner screaming "i knew it!")

i don't mind how long you make the fic, but i do prefer long ones :]

have a great day!

-velvetarcane

The Ravkan Gardens- Nikolai Lantsov

Okay, hi!! I'm sorry that this took me ages to write out, but I hope you enjoy it as it is! Also, forgive me if the enemies to lovers isn't my best work, it's the first time I've written out the enemies to lovers trope in the context of a fic that was a large one-parter rather than a slowburn multi-parter.

I did do it a bit differently to how you'd requested (the only difference being that, instead of a ball, Nikolai sends out an invite for the reader to stay for two weeks as a sort of like, compatibility test thing? I came up with the concept when I was tired so forgive me if it doesn't make much sense) and I did it in second person because that’s just how my brain defaults to writing requests a lot of the time, but if you want me to rewrite and put it in third, please don’t be afraid to reach out and let me know!

Anyway, thank you so much for sending this in, and though this isn't my longest fic on this account, it's certainly up there with the longest for Nikolai (it caps at 4.3k words) and I really do hope you enjoy!

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- mentions of alcohol (wine and champagne, specifically)

DAY 4/14

Nikolai Lantsov was tall, incredibly handsome, and, in general, a man excellent in the art of charming others, but for some reason, as you took every meal with him, interacted with him more than thrice daily, and generally tried to find something about him that you could’ve liked, it seemed you were almost resistant to those charms.

It wasn’t anything particular about him that you hated—or, anything you could place a finger on—and it seemed that you just weren’t the kind of person who could much like the kind of person he was. He was a charmer, someone who knew exactly what to say all the time, and as much as you wanted to like that, you couldn’t find it in yourself to manage it.

“You’re here for ten more days, Y/N. May as well try to make them a bit more worthwhile,” Zoya said as the two of you walked through the corridors of the Little Palace, heading for the gardens.

You’d been in Ravka of your own volitions, staying there to see if there was any chance yourself and Nikolai could ever be compatible. It felt like something out of some cheesy, royal era romance novel, but if it were truly a romance, wouldn’t the circumstances be better? Wouldn’t yourself and Nikolai be interacting because you enjoyed one anothers company, not because there was the underlying truth that you were both in need of a spouse?

Ravka needed a queen, and you needed an escape from the Wandering Isle, from the place that you hesitantly called home. It seemed like good enough reason to stay in Ravka for two weeks, but four days into your stay, you were regretting having accepted the—largely random—invite at all.

“I’m thinking about going home early,” you said. “Nikolai clearly can’t stand me, and I don’t want to exist wherein my presence is not welcome.”

“The idea to invite you here was his, not mine,” Zoya said as you walked. “Rumors of the replacement of the heir in the Wandering Isle have become rather rampant lately. He figured you could use a break from constantly being told you needed to find someone willing to propose, so he invited you here under the guise of an attempt at courtship.”

“The future king of Ravka invited me to his palace with the intent of giving me a kind of vacation?” You asked, momentarily rethinking all of your prior assumptions, the ones you’d gathered over the days you’d stayed at the Little Palace. “I feel the need to thank him now, I must admit.”

“He also looked at a photograph taken of you during this past summer,” Zoya said. “I presented it to him when trying to find a way to set him up with someone. I think you’re about the only woman he’s ever called beautiful without trying to be a charmer for one reason or the next. Give him a chance, Y/N. You might come to not regret it.”

“I’m here for another ten days,” you said as finally, the gardens came into view. “I’ll do my best, Nazyalensky. For you, if for nobody else.”

Zoya grinned. “If you hate him by this time next week, we’ll drink to it,” she said. “The kitchens have delightful wine.”

“Thank you,” you said with a grateful smile. Genya approached, whisking Zoya away and leaving you to observe the gardens alone.

You stood, idle as you took note of the flowers that were blooming, the apple trees with leaves that rustled in the wind. The view of the gardens was one you would’ve been content to stare at forever, the view itself likely being the only reason you would allow yourself to stay as long as you’d been invited to.

“The gardens are beautiful in their aestheticism,” came the voice of the blonde you’d come to dislike. “If you’ve got a talent for art, I have no doubt that this view on a canvas will go for at least ten or twenty thousand. I’ve seen the versions of it less grounded in realism sell for more than that.”

“And you think a piece depicting exactly what it is meant to look like will, perhaps, go for less?”

“I do,” Nikolai said. “Though, to be fair, I’ve barely known you long enough to form an emotion other than dislike and mild hatred, so I don’t know. I don’t even know if you’re talented in the realms of art.”

“I am not a painter, no,” you said. “You’re right in that.”

“I think you don’t want to be here,” Nikolai continued. “That you’re here because you need a husband just as much as I need a wife, and that if I propose, no matter how much you hate me, you’ll say yes for the good of the Ravkan people.”

“Ah, look at that! You’re correct again,” you said. “I would accept a proposal from you, Lantsov. I would do so to get out of the dreadful place that I call home, if for no other reason.”

“Have you seen the libraries?” Nikolai asked. “I’ve noticed you love to read.”

“Trying to be civil?”

“I can only realize what kind of person you are if civility is something which I decide to give a shot,” Nikolai said. “Getting to know you is my end goal, Ms. L/N. If I jump straight onto the wagon of hatred, we both end up stranded, and that is the last thing that my kingdom needs.”

“I make no guarantees that civility is something at which I will excel.”

“As I look at you now, there are a thousand different insults that come to mind,” Nikolai said. “However, I will not say a word of them. No more insults or jabs. Not from me.”

You said nothing, did nothing, just turned your gaze back to the garden, trying to look for every single one of the details you hadn’t noticed in your mere glimpse. Nikolai stayed with you, standing a few feet off to your right, the two of you watching the garden in silence.

-

Later, you found yourself in the library, sat in a far off corner with just enough light to allow you to read without difficulty. You were reading a book of sonnets recommended to you by Tolya. The book was called ‘To Love In Spring’ and every single poem was written in old Ravkan.

“Making yourself comfortable?” Nikolai asked as he walked down a row of bookshelves, finding you sitting and reading at the end of them. “You do look a fair bit like you’re in your element here, Y/N.”

“And you look quite so like you’re entirely out of yours,” you said, the quip falling from your lips before you could’ve thought about it. In response, you got a laugh.

“Oh, you wound me,” he said. “Your words cut deep, darling.”

“That’s entirely my goal, Lantsov,” you said, successfully ignoring the butterflies that came to light in your stomach with the use of the nickname.

“Well, it’s not quite working,” Nikolai said with a grin. “I find myself too enamoured by your gorgeousness to be too hurt by the words you use as weaponry.”

“You and your silly little compliments,” you said, once again unable to think before the words had fallen from your lips. “I don’t need, nor do I want, your flattery. I just would like to spend the days I have here as usefully as possible.”

“Is getting to know me not useful to you?”

“To be honest, I don’t think it is.”

“Again, Y/N, you wound me,” but he was smirking as he spoke, running a hand through blonde hair. “How about this: any time in which you decide you hate me less, come seek me out. We’ll learn about each other, see if the hatred that exists now is really as necessary as we clearly think it to be.”

You paused for a moment, thinking about the proposition. Getting to know Nikolai, see beyond his blonde hair and his charm and the fact that he normally seemed quite capable of saying the right thing at the right time, it might not have been something you particularly expected to happen often. It was something you expected to occur rarely, for in the four days you’d been there, you hadn’t hated him any more or any less than you had when you’d arrived and gotten a good look at him, a sense of who he was.

“All right, then,” you said. “You won’t be seeing much of me outside of the meals we’ll take together, though.”

“I’m going into this expecting not to see you outside of those times at all,” Nikolai said. He turned on his feet. “Enjoy your book, darling. I’m not much for poetry, but right now, I could be possibly be convinced to read a few pages.”

“Old Ravkan works, that can be found in the classics section, are quite wonderful.”

“Familiarized yourself with the library already?”

“I’ve only looked where it’s mattered,” you said. Nikolai walked off with that, and for some reason, you couldn’t pull your eyes away.

DAY 7/14

“My favorite color is dark blue,” Nikolai said. It was morning and you were standing in view of the garden, sleeves of the beige sweater you wore rolled up to your elbows, mug of your hot drink of choice tucked into your hands. “Or, the space between dark and light, I should say. Not so light that it is pastel, but not so dark that it’s navy.”

“Space blue?” You asked. “I’ve noticed you wearing a muted version of that color a lot. It suits you, Nik.”

“We’re using nicknames now?”

And, with the way that he points it out and you realize you’ve used a nickname for him, you pause.

“No,” you said after a moment. “It was a one time thing.”

“That’s disappointing, then. I usually hate nicknames.”

“Space blue is your favorite color?” You asked, desperate for a change in the subject and for anything to take your mind off of the embarrassment of having called the man who you’d convinced yourself you weren’t falling for a nickname, let alone one that he said he didn’t hate.

“Yep.”

“My first memory from when I was a kid was running in the palaces,” since it had been made, the deal had changed a bit. Nobody sought anybody out, most of your meetings were by chance. If Nikolai found you, he gave away a small piece of himself, a favorite color, a favorite season. You gave something like a childhood anecdote, a fact about yourself that nobody else knew, and vice versa.

You laughed as you recalled it. “Those palaces, the endless corridors, the vast windows, they used to be my favorite thing growing up. I wanted to learn every room, every place where I could hide when I didn’t want to be found. At twenty-three, I have learned every place in the palaces like the back of my hand, and most days all I want to do is escape them.”

“So why haven’t you?”

“I have yet to find good enough reason to go,” you said. “I’ve had my life threatened when I explained that I wanted to abdicate.”

“So do it,” Nikolai said. “Write a letter of abdication, and stay in Ravka.”

The words as he spoke them almost made you laugh. “Where would I stay, Nik?” There it was again. The stupid nickname that you’d claimed to be a one time thing the first time—though it was such, really.—but, if Nikolai was listening, he definitely assumed that it was more.

“As I’ve gotten to know you, darling, you seem less and less terrible by the day,” he said. “The room here, if you do not marry me but end up abdicating, will always be yours.”

“I appreciate your kindness,” you said. “I shall take it into consideration, Nik.”

“That nickname is going to stick around, innit?” You finally turned, met his gaze, as you brought the mug to your lips and sipped from it. “I really can’t say I hate it.”

“If David used it, would you react the same?”

Nikolai laughed as he thought about your question. “Most likely not, no,” he said.  

You began to turn, intending to head back up to your room. You were about a third of the way down the first of many halls when finally, you heard Nikolais voice.

“Three days now,” he called. “I’m not so terrible, am I?”

The question, though clearly both question and quip, was enough to make you laugh.

“Perhaps not, Lantsov,” you said. “We have one more week together. Ask me then.”

-

“My mother used to say I was infected by wanderlust,” you said with a slight smile as Zoya tipped a book off the shelves in the library. “I always wanted to leave, to go somewhere. I never really got much of a chance.”

“Did she ever realize you don’t want to wander, you just simply want to leave?” You leaned against the shelf, opening the book you’d grabbed whilst glimpsing the classics section.

“I imagine she’ll figure it out when I go back with all of my exciting tales to tell.”

“Oh, yeah,” Zoya said, nodding with her agreement. “All of the details of the garden, at which you looked longingly for hours will be so much fun to regale, Y/N.”

“The books I’ve read will also be mentioned, and the food, and the company,” you said pointedly. “The hours spent looking at the garden will mostly be left out of it.”

Zoya laughed, eyes scanning the cover of the book she’d grabbed before she put it back disinterestedly.

“Wise choice,” she said. “You’ve got one more week here. Are you excited to go back?”

“I’m heading into the city for a week after I leave here,” you said. “I need to think about things, and I need to do it without the prying eyes of the observers, staring at me whilst they try to dissect my every thought. Nobody has ever really seen my face, either, so I’ll go without being recognized while I’m there.”

Zoya looked at you, quirking a brow. “My my, has Nikolai given you something to ponder?”

You grinned, feeling almost a little defeated. “He’s different,” you said. “Different than I thought he would be, is all.”

“You’ve given up on hating him?”

“I still hate him, just less than I did three days ago,” you said. “He’s sensible. Goodwilled, strong. He seems like he cares about the people here, and I just find it a tad bit admirable, is all.”

“So, I was right, is what I’m hearing?”

“Not yet, Nazyalensky,” you said. “I’m learning what about him there is to like, not falling head over heels.” At that point, though, you could’ve guessed that you’d be romantically inclined toward Nikolai by the end of your stay.

“You will,” Zoya said with a teasing sort of grin as she pulled another book from the shelf. “In five days, at least, I’ll be telling you that I told you so.”

You laughed again as she read the cover, deciding to keep that book on her person.

“Thank you for staying,” Zoya said after a long moment of silence has passed. “You could’ve left when you decided you hated him, but you didn’t. Thank you for that, seriously.”

“Your company has made it the most worthwhile so far,” and the views, of course. The food, the excellent wine, the books that lined the shelves of the library and the scent of the roses in the garden. All of it made for a worthwhile stay, but Zoya was what made staying seem like the most logical decision. The truth may have been that you hardly knew her, but even as such, Zoya had become a fast friend, someone you would’ve hated losing. “Seriously. Thank you.”

“I’m glad I could assist in keeping you around,” Zoya said as she opened the book, reading the dedication and skipping the table of contents to get to the first chapter. “I do hope that you’ll find it in yourself not to hate him.”

“I’m learning what about him there is to like. If I do go without the intent of coming back, I promise to write.”

“And I promise to respond,” Zoya said, the two of you lapsing into a comfortable silence thereafter.

DAY 10/14

“I’ve never quite been able to pick a favorite time of day,” you said as you approached. Nikolai was facing a window in a common room within the depths of the Little Palace, hands leaning against the ledge as he looked out on the view from the second floor. You could’ve laughed as you realized that he was brooding, but you didn’t.

“Some days, I wake up early enough to see both sunrise and sunset. Other times, I particularly love the afternoon, when the sun is right overhead. I tend to gravitate towards the evenings, lately. In the past six days, I’ve found myself most at peace after the sun has set, when I can escape the Little Palace for a bit. Did you know that, when you escape the cities, the crowded streetways and the houses that’re lit up like trees at Christmas, you can actually see the stars? On nights where you’re lucky enough, you get glimpses of the other planets that exist within our solar system.”

“That’s the reason I haven’t been able to find you past eleven?” Nikolai asked.

“I go out with Tolya, Tamar, Nadia, Zoya, Genya and David. Every other day. You should come, we’re going tonight.”

“My favorite time of the day is the morning,” Nikolai said. “Everything feels so spry then. I feel ready to get on with my day. Nights always leave me feeling a little empty. I’ve never much been good at handling too much quiet.” You walked up to him, standing to his right. Carefully, you moved an arm so that it was within the same space as one of his. If Nikolai moved his hand just a bit to the left, he would be able to take yours if it was something he so pleased to do.

“Nights won’t feel so lonely if you spend them with the right people, my lovely enemy,” you said. He didn’t look at you, but when you rested your head against his shoulder, he did not move away.

He rested his cheek against the top of your head, neither of you saying a word as he did.

“Do you still hate me?” Nikolai asked.

“A lot less than I used to,” you said. “Let me guess, when you look at me, your heart and mind fill with nothing other than sheer resentment?”

He took your hand in his as he laughed, eyes still on the view of the gardens, apple trees rustling with the wind.

“Not exactly,” he said.

The two of you stood, in relative silence, watching the garden together, much like things had been almost a week before, except the hatred you felt for one another was largely gone, having been replaced by the starts of romance.

-

Nikolai found you a fair bit later, as the sun was setting and you were standing in the middle of the garden, book in hand. You were completely enthralled in it, and even though speaking was his first instinct—the act of revealing a small part to himself, one of many things that made him who he was—having almost become reflexive after nearly a week, he stopped himself. He merely leaned against the door, content to just watch.

As he did, he found that he was completely enamoured, just as he’d been when Zoya had dropped your photo onto his desk. You were naturally beautiful, a woman who everyone was jealous of. How Nikolai had hated you upon your meet ten days before was something that almost became a bit of a mystery to him as he looked at you, watched you run a hand through your hair as the breeze picked up, seeming to move around you in an almost perfect arc of wind.

“I can feel you staring at me, Lantsov,” you said. Nikolai almost flinched, having been caught off guard, but managed to maintain most of his composure. “Are you ever going to allow words to leave your lips?”

“You leave me speechless,” Nikolai said, turning on the charm before he can even think to do otherwise. “Though, with how beautiful you are, how any man who looks at you isn’t also rendered speechless is an absolute mystery to me.”

“I do not look beautiful,” you said. “Not right now, anyway.” You were wearing a dark maroon shirt with a black skirt, hair styled as it normally was, and between the fact that there wasn’t a day Nikolai had seen you looking anything less than gorgeous, and the fact that he’d let you into his heart, he realized he could’ve been happy to die right there, as he was.

“You do,” he said. “You look absolutely incredible.”

You grinned, and yeah. Nikolai was done for. He absolutely could’ve died happy in that moment.

He stepped forward as you closed the book, objecting to merely hold it at your side.

Eventually, you were standing close, your hand against the side of his face, one of his hands on your waist, the other resting at the bottom of your cheek and on your neck.

“Your company is not nearly as terrible as I presumed it would remain ten days ago.”

He gave you a grin, asked if he could kiss you, and when you said yes, he did.

As he felt your lips against his, he felt, for the first time in a while, the monster as it grew quiet, seemed to step away, and Nikolai felt well and truly happy.

When you pulled away, you pressed your forehead against his.

Neither of you had perfect lives, just moments wherein they felt perfect, but it was something neither of you minded.

DAY 12/14

“I knew it!” Zoya shouted as Nikolai pulled away from you, your hands still remaining entwined as the moment you were sharing was interrupted. You were in a common room, having thought yourselves mostly alone, the conversation you’d been having only having been interrupted by a kiss for a split second, though it was one Zoya, Genya, and Tamar had happened to walk in on. “I fucking knew it!”

The common room you were standing in was the one you’d been in in the days before, the one on the second floor with the view of the gardens, walls painted the colors of the royal emblem, light flowing through the window naturally.

“Well, Tolya officially owes me quite the pretty penny,” Tamar said. “Congrats, you two. When did it happen?”

“It’s happened gradually over the past week,” Nikolai said.

“Your first kiss happened five days ago, and you didn’t tell me?” Zoya asked. You shook your head.

“It happened two days ago,” you said. “I guess it slipped my mind.” You shrugged, giving Nikolais hand a squeeze. He squeezed your hand in return as you adjusted, hand slipping from yours a moment later, in favor of an arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“Slipped your mind?” Genya asked. “You both realize this means we have a wedding to plan?”

“Not for another quarter,” Nikolai said. “Saints, Genya. You’re getting too far ahead. I haven’t even thought of proposing yet, and if I do, it won’t be until December. A proposal always tends to go over better during the Christmas season.”

“Or you could propose at the end of this month and we could do a December wedding,” Zoya suggested. “It’s the beginning of October. A month of courtship, a proposal, and then you get another two months of courtship before the wedding.”

“Don’t get too far ahead of yourselves,” you cautioned. “We’re taking it slow.”

“A June wedding could be lovely,” Tamar said. “The weather is warm, lots of guests could come, and a coronation to have Y/N in the palaces as queen could be a lot easier to do around the spring or the summer, I would assume.”

“I’ll start planning the wedding in December,” Genya said. “Zoya, Y/N, you help me every step of the way. Promise it.” She looped her elbow through Zoyas, running a hand through vibrant red hair as she did.

Your gaze met Zoyas, and the both of you burst into laughter as Nikolai pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

“Deal,” you said.

“Promise,” said Zoya.

“Tonight, with dinner, we’ll have champagne,” Tamar said. “In celebration of the happy couple, of course.”

You wrapped an arm around Nikolais waste, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his jawline as you did.

“In celebration,” you said, Nikolai nodding his agreement.

It was odd, really. Twelve days before, you’d hardly expected to have anything to celebrate, and yet there you were, with a relationship and potentially a marriage.

AUGUST

You grinned as you caught sight once more of the ring on your finger. It was something you hadn’t gotten used to, even though it’d been two months since the wedding, since your coronation.

“You look wonderful, as always,” Nikolai said as he entered the room you shared. You were in bed, book in your lap, just as it’d been since that afternoon. It’d been a book given to you at the recommendation of Tamar, a fantasy novel that was an absolute page turner. “I’m relieved, personally, that we finally have a chance for a moment away.”

“A trip to Novyi Zem sounds wonderful about now,” you said as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’m thrilled about it, really. Being a queen is a lot more than I expected.”

“Well, for the next two weeks, queenly duties be damned,” he said, acknowledging the trip you’d leave for early the following morning. “I love you, my dearest wife.”

“And I you, dearest husband,” Nikolai joined you in bed as you dimmed the reading light you’d been using, eventually putting the book down and falling asleep next to him, just as you’d done since before your wedding, with every bone in your body overflowing with content.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone

[merchantarthurn]

can we see the agott/oru parallels pinboard material? your insight on characters is always so spot-on and entertaining to read! (if you haven't already posted about them ofc)

I have to admit it's so much vibes and headcanons that I can't really point at anything concrete (especially since Olruggio's past is kind of a mystery) BUT... there's something about their dynamic (which is notably abrasive compared to other relationships in the atelier - and it doesn't feel like it's been truly resolved in the same way Qifrey-Riché and Coco-Agathe has been) that I've got some nebulously-connected dots on so I'll try and lay that out.

So... we know a tiny bit about Olruggio's life outside of/before the atelier - mostly that he's from a snowy town in the north and that he's got a pretty long-standing reputation as a prodigy (presumably from even back in the north given Utowin specifically needles him about it) and a witch of the people (known by sight even by the region's monarchs?? fucking hell Oru). He is... literally actually famous. Which is absolutely wild to think about but there we go.

Agathe, conversely, is more... infamous. Bless her she's been through it - getting kicked out of her family for not being talented enough, rumours that it was due to plagiarism flying around (which it wasn't, I believe her on that one). She's known for her name rather than her magic - and she's desperately trying to change that.

But, and here's where the projection/headcanons come in, I always got caught on Olruggio's way of handling Agathe and her desire to be praised by others... It's particularly harsh at the river and she responds with stubborn anger, and he dismisses her in a similar way before her revelations re: her magic at the Silver Night Festival. He picks up that her magic is self-centred and accuses her of trying to show off rather than thinking of others - which in both contexts makes sense, since they're meant to be helping people immediately and long-term with their magic there - but... he never seems to reflect on her background in the same way that Qifrey seems to and speaks to her with the vibe of "you should be smart enough to internalise this without me repeating myself", rather than with empathy for her motivation.

(As an aside, his body language in this scene is so dismissive it makes me laugh in a sort of 'bro she is thirteen at least pretend like you're not fed up with her' way.)

Which strikes me as rather odd for Olruggio. Yes, Agathe does act like she's just being a stubborn little prodigy-brat - but we know, and so should both her professors, that she's trying to reach someone with that show-off attitude. Qifrey knows!! It doesn't excuse the hurtful ways she externalise it, but it's still important to consider. Given that she's essentially trying to prove her family wrong, a family that kicked her out as an even younger child than she is now, it seems honestly cruel of Olruggio with how snappy he gets - like he has almost no patience for this flaw of hers (which is also hurting her). We've seen him click with the other girls at various times, or its implied by how at ease they are around him, and it's not like he's unable to be kind to Agathe either - it's this particular thing that's a sticking point for him.

And so...... I propose based entirely off headcanon that he sees his past self's behaviour in that "selfish", show-off magic. Maybe it's even what lead to Whatever That Dream Was About - being too busy showing off for attention, praise, Prodigy Points, could he have been delayed in getting to people who sorely needed his magic and the worst happened? To me it seems implied that whatever occurred there is something he very deeply blames himself for and the only explanation text we get from it is basically linked to his current work ethic and saviour-complex... so it likely marked a turning point in his character, rather than simply a deepening of an existing sense of purpose. Utowin's jab at his moniker makes me believe that even more - like Olruggio might genuinely have seen "less talented" witches as beneath him at some point.

Then from that, wouldn't it make sense for an external behaviour he associates with people dying (and if I had to guess, also some embarrassment for how he used to be) to illicit such a snappy, harsh response from him? One that's not considerate for Agathe's context because the context doesn't matter really, because that's not gonna affect the outcome of that behaviour.

But... yeah that's the main thing!! It's interesting that we're also seeing Arkco and Orufrey parallels now too - with Agathe firmly in Olruggio's spot in the dynamic (and not just because of the dark hair thing lol). This is very much based on extrapolation from the little we have about him though soooo pinch of salt!! I find their dynamic super interesting though since there's this obvious friction that marks a lot of their one-on-one interactions, but she still seeks praise... gee I wonder if Agathe has a complex that leads her to seek praise from people who are unduly harsh with her-- and it's a kind of ugly side to Olruggio's character we don't see much so it's like... kinda wild, aNYway sorry for the essay

EDIT: Okay since Sean is a genius who remembers things, he pointed out Olruggio is actually the one who takes Agathe to the river - which really delights Agathe!

But then... he says this in response to Qifrey’s worry

Hm... now we know he’s not talking about drawing in front of Unknowings because 1) he doesn’t let her do that and 2) she’s meant to pass the second test before she does that regardless. So... it’s possible he’s literally talking about a witch using their magic for the sake of others, and proposing a practical lesson. Qifrey is pretty aware that she’s rushing ahead and isn’t lingering on the satisfaction of Olruggio bringing her along which is why he’s bothered. Olruggio seems to be testing her here - and notably without Qifrey around, who she’s already rebuffed the teaching of in this instance by literally slapping his hand away. 

It’s not until she’s incredulous about what he asks her to do that he gets harsh with her - here:

He’s doubling down Qifrey’s lesson but without Qifrey’s kindness, so they both clearly see the same flaw in her. But Olruggio has taken her to a scene where people are injured and in danger of drowning and she’s STILL thinking of getting to show of, and he’s angry. That she didn’t get the picture when it’s right in front of her. Man. She’s just like him forreal.

#witch hat atelier #long post

[goffilolo]

Mana Immunity!AU

Out of my way people, I am about to become the funniest person in Black Clover fandom. That’s right, I got a whole ass new AU for you because apparently I don't have enough of those. Hear me out.

Asta can’t sense any mana because he has none, we know that stuff. But you know what would be absolutely HYSTERIC?! If his body was unable to interact with mana at all because of it. I’m talking full on mana immunity. It’s like fuckin shrimp colours, they’re out there in the world but i can’t fuckin see them cause i’m not a shrimp and therefore they make no difference to me. This is what I demand.

I want Asta’s body to not even comprehend the very existence of mana, any attack either slides off, bounces or goes through like a mist with zero reaction or even knowledge that anything even happened. In fact he can’t even SEE this shit, because it’s shrimp colours to him as well.

This obviously has its cons as well, such as no healing spells, but let’s be real for him to need healing he first needs to be hurt and good luck finding someone who can harm Asta without use of magic, I’m pretty sure the only who could is Yami and that’s via pure strength and sword skill, everyone else can legit fuck off.

In fact because Asta can’t see magic, up until the age of like 5 he didn’t think magic was real, he thought it was one of those made up things like tooth fairy or some shit. And even now when he’s older all he sees is people with floating books waving their hands around and shouting some words with zero context. You try to use a spell on Asta? The most reaction he’d give you is ‘oh we’re doing your pretend magic now? Do you want me to act like I got hit with your spell?’ This introduces so much comedy potential it’s unreal.

Notable examples I came up with in no particular order:

Volcano training. Everyone is sweating their tits off. Meanwhile, because all of this heat is from mana induced lava Asta is not feeling the heat at all. He’s like ‘bestie’s none of it is real’ and they’re looking at him like he should be institutionalized. Mereoleona thinks he's trying to act tough and hits him with a spell and it does fuckin nothing, Asta doesnt even know he got hit with a spell, she’s losing her mind and shaking Yami, asking him where he found that weirdo.

The battle of qliphoth. Lucifero shows up with his ‘presence of the king’ shuffle and everyone goes down while Asta is just standing there baffled as to what’s going on. I call this powermove the “Babygirl, gravity is just a hallucination”

Yami sometimes grabs Asta by the head just to use him as a shield because magic does nothing to him, happens at least once a day.

Asta does not show up on any detection/map spells like the one Mimosa and Siren have. This results in start of rumours that Asta may or may not be a ghost, or some fuckin mana immune spirit possessing a dead body. Yuno is banging his head against the wall when Mimosa tries to get some intel from him about Asta’s life and whether or not he had any accidents that no one should’ve came out alive from.

I will eventually bring you more ideas for this, but this is the basic premise, do with that what you will.

#black clover #mana immunity!au #asta

[burning--heart]

a perspective on dea and grinpayne: part 2 (romance)

hello and welcome. or welcome back, if you’re here from part 1. i’m making a different argument in this post, not expanding on the previous one, so part 1 is not required reading. 

the only context you’re missing from part 1 is that this is my own analysis based on the script, not actors’ interactions onstage, and that i don’t think dea and grinpayne have a sibling relationship. that’s it! if you want to see me be really verbose about those things click the link above. 

if you want to see me explain my alternate/additional idea that dea and grinpayne don't have an initially romantic relationship either, based off of musical motifs, click down there.

now. this next one is a little more out there. unlike the siblings point, it involves a little more reading between the lines.

i don't think that dea and grinpayne are in love with each other at the start of the show. at the very least, they are not in love with each other while growing up. they’re… not “pretending,” exactly, because i think they also believe in it, but something along those lines. 

"but burning--heart," i hear you thinking, "that doesn't make any sense. 'beauty and the beast' is your favorite song. you have it plastered all over your blog. what do you mean you don't think they're in love." well. first off i like "beauty and the beast" because the puppets' puppets make me giddy with delight and the song itself is adorable. what i am about to tell you has very little to do with it. i'm still giggling and kicking my feet every time it comes on. second off, buckle your seat belts.

a little review. ...ok. a medium review. at least.

"beauty and the beast" and the sub-scene that contains it (beginning from dea aging up into a child) introduces us to dea and grinpayne's relationships both with each other and with ursus. first we are shown that the kids love hearing stories, and that this one in particular is their favorite, because they find the characters relatable. ursus seems to agree with them: when dea asks him to tell the story, he tries to dissuade her as it's "a little close to the bone.”

this establishes that dea and grinpayne see themselves in these characters, for better or for worse. great. now we get into the song itself, and therefore the music with it. here's a link to the soundtrack so that you can refresh yourself. and, for sake of completeness, a paraphrasing of what happens onstage as they sing it:

grinpayne starts with his beast puppet. dea comes in and sings the first verse as beauty: “how could i have known you’d die…” she then looks to ursus for prompting, then sings the first “i love you”s. beauty puppet kisses beast puppet. beast transforms into prince. grinpayne sings the second verse as the beast/prince: “never did i dream that i might…” then “dear beauty / i love you”s.  the kids drop their puppets. dea as herself sings the third verse “how could i have known a prince…” and they have their little exchange foreshadowing grinpayne’s lordship, followed up with “prince grinpayne / i love you”s.  the child puppets go away. adult grinpayne sings “never did i dream that you might…” followed by “i love you”s. Dea kisses him. the two of them sing “your kiss of life…” plus “i love you”s together. grinpayne gives dea the beast puppet and keeps the beauty one for himself. dea goes to kiss him again but is interrupted by the bell ringing. 

for those of you who are more familiar with bristol, i would like to give special attention to the fact they they cut this whole section out completely (for those of you who are not, grinpayne is singing here, with dea overlapping in parentheses):

is your love the kind of healing (your kiss of life has) will it take my pain away (your gift of love has) in your arms i’m filled with feeling (opened my eyes) my darkest night is ending will you take my shame away (given me life) and now my broken heart is mending my screaming world is healing with your love (love)

i’m not going to touch this because i could write an entire separate post about how their relationship changes between versions. but just so you know. moving on...

what's going on here, and how does the music support it?

the kids act out the fairy tale as their respective characters, singing lines to each other. when the beauty and beast puppets vanish, they continue to sing in the same pattern. same notes, same rhythm, everything except the lyrics.

in short, they are using the musical framework of the fairy tale to describe their feelings for one another. 

what does this mean? the two of them using beauty and the beast’s musical structure as a template for themselves suggests that they are also mimicking the structure of the fairy tale relationship itself. we can see this happen in an intermediate stage: in the second section, dea calls grinpayne a prince, the same as the character his beast puppet transforms into. the spoken dialogue here is playful, sure ("you're nothing like a lord!") but the singing remains earnest.

i don't think that children are born with an innate understanding of romantic relationships. we learn through observation and stories what love is "supposed" to look like, and then copy them through play. i guess i can only speak from my own experience but i'm pretty sure that this is normal. and idk about you guys but i was following the social formula of "boys and girls who like each other kiss" with my stuffed animals and whatever without really grasping or experiencing what it is to "like" someone in that way.

i think that's what is going on here with dea and grinpayne. i don't think they get it, at least initially. they relate to the characters and are taking cues off of them for their own behavior. that's what the repetition of the "beauty and the beast" melody is indicative of, for me.

your kiss of life has opened my eyes

that main melody that the puppets begin is not the only part of "beauty and the beast" that we can talk about! they don't follow this pattern for the whole song.

the "your kiss of life" section is quite significant. here dea and grinpayne get a new motif after transitioning into adults to show that their relationship has matured. they also sing it together in harmony, as opposed to taking turns as they have been. awesome! they are in love for real now, right? almost. bear with me.

while their verses as children were cute and expository, the lines from adult dea and grinpayne have a little bit more weight to them. the general message of both grinpayne's adult verse and the verse they sing together is that the love they share is a healing force for both of them. here's the lyrics, for your reference as well as my own:

grinpayne (repeated): never did i dream that you might save me from despair you have given me the gift of life a love to share i love you i love you grinpayne and dea (new): your kiss of life has opened my eyes the place where my heart breaks you have mended your gift of love has given me life my sorrow and heartache you have melted i love you i love you

their relationship has absolutely developed into something more meaningful than playing dolls. and despite grinpayne getting the solo verse here i actually think the two of them growing up loving each other may have had a greater impact on dea. but that's yet another topic for a different day.

i feel like this analysis would be lacking if i didn't point out that "your kiss of life" shares a start with dea's "your gentle heart" line in "blind to nothing" right before this. both of these songs are about stories, but the two melodic lines quickly deviate. i think this is a subtle way to show that although they share a common root, dea and grinpayne are moving away from the structure of the story they have been mimicking and have developed their own meaning in their relationship.

and, finally, please note that after singing "your kiss of life..." dea and grinpayne repeat the "i love you"s again. they are growing and changing, but still fall back on this musical vocabulary at the end of the song. it's because of this that i still don't think they've changed fully as of the end of "beauty and the beast." the two of them are getting closer, but they're not there yet...

your kiss of life (reprise)

so let's talk about the reprise of this section. it comes at the end of the show, during "finale: part d (grinpayne)" (or the second half of "the smile on your face" on the london cast album).

dea and grinpayne do not repeat the "i love you"s at the end of this reprise. this is significant because finally they do not return to the motif borrowed from beauty and the beast. the section about the meaning they have to each other stands on its own. and that is how we know they have left their template behind and their relationship is standing on its own legs.

parting thoughts

let's catch up:

as children and into adulthood, grinpayne and dea use the music associated with their favorite characters to describe their own relationship

after growing up, a new motif is introduced to show the deeper nature of their relationship, one that is very loosely based on a different storytelling motif

it is not until the end of the show that this second motif is allowed to stand on its own without the first

all told, i think there's an argument to be made for interpreting dea and grinpayne as something other than romantic before the finale. obviously this post is not comprehensive and focuses mainly on the significance of a single song, but i still find it a compelling possibility.

there's still plenty more to cover. i would like to discuss dea and grinpayne more individually, and say my piece on how the marriage thing factors into this. this post got way too long though (over 1.7k!) so, as anticipated, you can also look forward to a part 3.

#the grinning man #burning thoughts #beauty and the beast #dea #grinpayne #i've had all of this written for a couple days actually. my bad. #i got self conscious about how long it was before i remembered that i don't care. so. enjoy <3

[sun-in-retrograde]

Sedna Square Mars - You have a right to feel uncomfortable

On 11:57 UK time on Friday 22 March Mars will square Sedna. This square will be within 1 degree between the 21st and 23rd March. This will happen with Mars at 29°37 of Aquarius and Sedna at Taurus 29°37. The outermost point in the solar system of any significance squared by the planet of energy and rage and cutting and impulse comes with some fairly strong imagery. You may feel rage that you didn’t know you have. You may feel rage you don’t know you’re feeling.

Sedna was last where it is now in about 9400 BC. Given that Sedna reacts to big evolutionary problems, here’s the kind of things people with strong Sedna placements might have been worrying about then 

We’re living in permanent settlements now, around lots more people than we had around in the past. This feels weird, maybe suffocating. 

What does having more people around mean for your relationships with others? Are they watching you? Are you watching them? Do they have more than you?

Other people living in the same kind of area as you are living lives that might be radically different. What does that mean?

It’s cool that we’ve started growing plants and domesticating animals like dogs. Are we being domesticated?

Any evolutionary, deep seated, question strikes me as a good source of Sedna-Mars tension. I don’t think that feelings of unease about urban life, social control, our relationships with nature, etc, are alien to us today.

But also, pure lizard brain instinctive reactions are also pretty appropriate as Sedna Mars energy. Anger and fear and agitation that’s basic and instinctive and not rational. Honestly, I’m not against lizard-brain instinctive reactions. I used to have a big problem that if people spoke to me politely while smiling I thought they were being nice. This left me in situations where I’d come out of talking to people feeling angry and miserable and worse because it seemed to be the wrong reaction. 

I’ve learnt to listen to how I’m feeling. I live in Britain, global capital of politely destroying people. If you come out of a situation that society says was handled correctly and feel worse than you went in, then obviously something there went wrong. You get further if you acknowledge that feeling and are curious about it than you do if you try to pretend it doesn’t exist. You have the right to feel uncomfortable - you have the right to seek out and fight for situations where you don’t feel, like, a deep seated nameless sense of dread. This may mean taking your meds but it also might mean changing your circumstances. 

I think another thing to consider with this particular transit is that it’s the last time Sedna in Taurus will square Mars in Aquarius until 13,400 AD. Sedna has been in Taurus since 1966 getting squares from Leo and Aquarius. One of the things Sedna square Mars in Aquarius makes me think of is the outside context problem - how do we respond to things that are unknown, that maybe we’ve never encountered before. The next time Mars squares Sedna, Sedna will be in Gemini. This will be the first time Sedna in Gemini has squared Mars since before writing was invented. That’s new. If you’re feeling anxious or angry about new things in your future then you’re right on time.

#astrology #asteroid astrology #dwarf planet astrology #sedna #astro community #astrology tumblr

[x0401x]

Hey there! Since you've already finished vol. 3 of the Tsurune novel, are there any more quality Kaito/Seiya scenes?

Hiii! First of all, thank you for the ask. This was really fun to write. Second of all, I’m really sorry for taking so long to reply! It was super hard finding the time to finish it.

Now, to answer your question, there are indeed quite a few quality scenes of them in this volume, but more than scenes, I’d say there are lots of quality facts about their relationship. See, this volume speeds up the pace a lot and there are many characters being handled at once, so the focus often shifts all too suddenly from one scene to the other. Rather than getting actual moments of them, most of what we get is facts about the characters and their relationships. But in my opinion, they’re equally as delicious.

That being said, here comes the wall of text, lol.

First and foremost, I must make clear that throughout the whole volume, aside from the juicier stuff, we do get the usual interactions between these two. Seiya telling dad jokes and Kaito wanting to rip his own eardrums out, Kaito making fun of Seiya’s naming sense and pretending he didn’t say anything when Seiya asks what he means, the two of them mentioning each other in completely unrelated topics for no apparent reason, etc. The crumbs are just as yummy as the meals, I’d say.

One particular crumb that I love is the fact that Seiya is trying for individual competitions this year. We can check that one off our wishlists now, lol.

The first scene we get of them is actually a MasaMina scene that they take part in as kind of a bonus. The whole thing is fucking ridiculous and resembles a lot the boar scene from volume 2. Yeah, that one where Masaki protects Minato while Kaito protects Seiya and the whole thing just feels like some bullshit straight out of a cliché shoujo manga except with a bunch of guys. It also reminded me of the festival scene between Minato and Ren, where it starts out with Ren being hostile towards Minato and making clear that he doesn’t think Minato is good company for Masaki for various reasons, yet it ends with Ren asking Minato to “take care of Masaki”, showing that he resigns to the fact that Masaki isn’t gonna leave these kids ever. Still, though, this one MasaMina scene is even more ludicrous than the two that I just mentioned, and to contextualize the KaiSei bit that comes afterwards, I’ll have to explain it first.

What happens is that Kazemai is doing the yawatashi no gi at the Yata Shrine, just like the previous year, and Masaki and Minato go to the back to get kimonos. Minato had been feeling frustrated for some time now about Masaki avoiding him, which becomes even more obvious from the way that Masaki is walking so much faster ahead of him without looking back as Minato struggles to keep up. Minato asks to talk and Masaki brushes him off, telling him to save it for later. Minato then grabs his arm, which seems to be yet another parallel, specifically with that scene in Masaki’s car where Masaki isn’t looking at him, and Minato wants to grab his arm and brush his bangs away so that he can look at him in the eye, but holds back from doing it. Yeah, this time, he does it, but Masaki covers his eyes and asks Minato to please not give him “that look”.

When Minato asks Masaki what he means, he says he sometimes really wants to rub Minato’s head like he used to, but he “can’t let other people see that”. ‘Cause this choice of words totally sounds like what it should sound like. The actual context here is that the first-years of Kazemai have started complaining about the fact that Masaki is much closer to the second-years, especially Minato, so he’d been avoiding Minato and holding back from physical contact. What bothers Minato the most about this is the lack of eye contact, though. Yeah, his obsession with Masaki’s eyes is even worse in this book, if that was even possible. And that’s why these words bring Minato to the verge of tears. When he’s about to break down, his grandparents show up.

Yeah, his fucking grandparents. They literally just invade the back of the dojo out of nowhere. Minato’s grandfather, seeing him teary-eyed and all, starts accusing Masaki of being a terrible coach because “he’s forcing kids do club activities on an off day”. Minato tries to explain the misunderstanding, saying the club members were the ones who came up with the idea and making clear that this had nothing to do with his crying at all, but completely avoids explaining why the fuck he was crying in the first place, and his grandparents don’t seem to give much of a shit anyway. Speaking of explanation, Minato’s grandmother starts explaining to Masaki about the circumstances after the car accident that killed Minato’s mother and why they grew distant from that side of the family afterwards. This was completely unprompted and the flow of the conversation is, yes, “smooth as a jungle river” but Masaki rolls with it from behind Minato, putting an arm on his shoulder.

Minato’s grandparents take their leave, but not before asking Masaki the exact same thing that Ren had asked Minato in volume 2, except a tad more dramatic: “Please take care of him for as long as possible”. This “as long as possible” is actually just paraphrasing because the actual line was much heavier and wouldn’t fit. When people say “for as long as possible” using this specific term that Minato’s grandma used (末永く), they usually mean “forever”, “for eternity”. A bit too much to ask from a mere coach, let alone one that they just fucking met a minute ago, but this is the whole goddamn point, isn’t it, Ayano.

This is where Kaito and Seiya come in. They were, in fact, watching the whole thing unfold from behind a tree. No, not the whole club. Just the two of them. It’s not specified from what moment they caught the scene happening or if they heard anything that was said, but seem to know that all ended well. Kaito asks how Seiya knew that Minato’s grandparents would be coming and he explains that they’d gone to his house to greet his parents. Kaito then says Seiya should’ve said that earlier, so that he wouldn’t have had to worry. And then Seiya... apologizes. He actually fucking. Does that. It might be my memory failing me, but I don’t think I recall seeing him say “I’m sorry” before this scene. He says it so honestly that it catches Kaito off-guard, to the point he freezes up on the spot.

This bit is really cute because it just enforces even more that, yeah, Kaito and Seiya are the parents of the club, and more importantly, they’re Minato’s parents. The way they watch over Minato and Masaki as if they’re a couple receiving the blessing of Minato’s grandparents is hysterical. I love that this is just so natural for both of them. I mean, I understand Seiya worrying about what might happen, but Kaito? Why the fuck would he? And why should Seiya not only be able to assume that he’d be worried but also give him information before-hand so that he wouldn’t have to worry? The whole thing just screams “married couple” on a megaphone.

In-between this scene and the next one is where we get the delicious one with the song greenleaves at the fair. Later on, the next KaiSei snack comes from Seiya’s house, where the five second-year boys are studying for exams. In the middle of that, they get a visit from Seiya’s older brother, who came to town. His name is Gaku and he’s a whole can of worms of his own, and amongst a lot of other stuff, we find out two things: one is that Seiya thinks his brother is a weirdo and doesn’t respect him at all; the other is that, in spite of his attitude, Seiya refers to him as “Onii-chan”. This has Kaito shook, lmfao. He’s even more surprised by this than by Gaku’s eccentric personality and looks. In fact, so was I. This scene was so calm and slice-of-life-ish, yet it was pure chaos at the same time. It’s what I call the Tsurune Style TM.

It is also from this scene that we get more delicious fucking food about Kaito and Seiya’s relationship. Whoever has been reading the novel since the first volume probably had zero doubt that Seiya would be a doctor when he grew up and that taking over his father’s clinic would be his first and only choice. However, here the kids are on their second year of high school, where they have to think of their career paths so that they can plan it up and follow it through in the third year, and Seiya vehemently rejects the idea of studying medicine. Why? Because he’d have to leave town for that and because he’d have to focus a lot more on studying, inevitably leaving archery to the side. Regardless, Gaku tries to convince him to reconsider and asks the boys to convince him too. Their parents support their decisions in regards to their professions, but Gaku insists that Seiya’s vocation is to be a doctor (and he isn’t wrong). By the way, Gaku is an entrepreneur and wants Nanao to work for his brand in the future as a male model and makes the proposal right then and there.

Once the brother leaves (like a storm, just like how he came in, as did Minato’s grandparents), Kaito is shaken again, by both of these things. Both mean Nanao and Seiya going away and even Minato can tell that he’s disturbed. And get this: Nanao actually asks him what he thinks of this. Not just his situation but also Seiya’s. Kaito says it’s their decision to make, acting like he’s got nothing to do with it even though he’s obviously restless. Nanao then asks Minato, and he replies, sincerely, that he respects Nanao and Seiya’s respective choices.

After everybody goes back home, the subject extends itself with Minato and Seiya on one side and Kaito and Nanao on the other. Minato seems 100% fine with anything that Nanao and Seiya decide, even though it might mean not being able to do archery with one or both of them in the next year. Meanwhile, he and Seiya are worried about Kaito, who insists to Nanao that this his and Seiya’s business and no one else can decide for them.

A while later, Nanao decides to turn down the model proposal, as his dream is to become a carpenter. Seiya, however, chooses to become a doctor and take over his father’s clinic, but asks his parents to let him prioritize archery in his third year even though he might become a ronin as a result. Just like with his brother, his parents fully support him.

What I find absurdly savory in this whole ordeal is that when there’s a risk that Seiya might not be there with them in the next year, the very first person whose opinion everybody wants to know isn’t Minato’s, it’s Kaito’s. And it’s not for no reason. He’s not only the one that’s most shaken, he’s also the one who’d miss Seiya the most and they all know it. Also, just like from the latter half of volume 1 onward, Seiya is with Kaito most of the time in this book. And it’s really neat that his input means a lot in the conversation. One more thing I love is Minato’s reaction, because it really shows how he’s willing to let anyone go no matter how much it might hurt, but not Masaki, whom he already made clear he won’t handle over to fate or death in volume 1 or to the gods themselves in this one. This scene really serves to show many aspects of the characters’ relationships and what they’re willing (or not) to give up, as well as how they handle that. It’s so subtle yet not subtle at all. Just *chef’s kiss* level. Keep feeding us, Ayano.

This is basically what we get from book 3, I think! My memory might be failing me a bit, so I’ll add more to this post if I happen to remember anything else. Again, sorry for the late reply and feel free to ask anything else!

#tsurune #onogi kaito #takehaya seiya #tsurune kazemai koukou kyuudoubu #narumiya minato #takigawa masaki #kisaragi nanao #takehaya gaku #ayano kotoko

[marvelmaniac715]

I’m currently on Season Two Episode Six of The Good Place, and I decided to create a The Good Place Chucky au with Chucky in Eleanor Shellstrop’s place. This will probably still make sense if you haven’t watched the show, but I’d recommend it because not only is it hilarious, but it will give this more context. You can find it on Netflix :). When does Chucky die in this au, you ask? His very first death, back in 1988. Enjoy :).

————————————————————-

Pain. An endless, dark void as deep as the ocean. A sudden gasp, and then… Charles Lee Ray was sitting in a waiting room, staring at a sign that said ‘Welcome! Everything is fine’. That was… certainly odd, but what was more confusing was how he’d ended up in this waiting room. Did a well-meaning passer-by find his unconscious body and bring him to some weird hospital? If so, boy, was that a mistake on that passer-by’s part. If anyone knew who or what Chucky was, he never would have been saved.

As he contemplated the possibilities that could have brought him to this bizarre location, a door opened, revealing a… human man with silver hair wearing a suit and glasses? Out of everything that could have greeted Chucky on the other side of that door, an average looking guy was not high up on his list of possibilities. The man smiled at him and said:

“Charles? Come on in.”

How the hell did this guy know his name?

————————————————————-

“You, Charles Lee Ray, are dead.”

Chucky shrugged, just kind of going with it (whatever this was) at this point.

“Okay, cool. How did I go?”

The man’s smile faded slightly as he awkwardly averted his gaze and replied:

“You see, in the event of embarrassing or painful deaths we like to erase the memories to make the crossing over process slightly easier.”

Chucky frowned, picking up on the ‘we’ pronoun.

“Who is ‘we’? Where am I exactly?”

This question seemed to bring the man Chucky was speaking to back into focus, as he smiled again and responded.

“In the afterlife, there’s a Good Place and a Bad Place. You’re in the Good Place. My name is Michael, I’m a Good Place architect.”

Chucky (still frowning because this was all so weird) nodded, beginning to understand where he was. But the question still remained - why? He wasn’t unaware of his actions, he knew he was a dick if not anything else. He didn’t deserve to be in this ‘Good Place’, but he had to figure out if this was a case of mistaken identity so he could (hopefully) pretend to be who this guy Michael thought he was and avoid going to hell (or - the Bad Place to be more precise).

With the goal of gathering more information in mind, Chucky crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow and asked again:

“So, how did I die?”

Michael didn’t seem like he wanted to discuss it, but Chucky shot him a more toned down version of his fiercest glare, and that seemed to convince the man (angel? It wasn’t quite clear) to spill the beans.

“You were walking through an alley near a toy store, and you… got gunned down. I’m sure you can understand why we decided to erase that particular memory.”

That seemed like a very him way to die. It was probably a heist gone wrong. Man, he hoped Eddie got away okay, the poor guy was so loyal, he probably stayed by Chucky’s side till the end. Hopefully he was able to get away and tell Tiffany what happened. 

Chucky now felt at ease with the knowledge that he probably did deserve to be in this place, because that death was certainly fitting. What he did to end up here was certainly a mystery, so he wanted to find that out.

“Hey Mikey- can I call you Mikey? Too bad, I’m gonna call you Mikey- why do I deserve to be here, huh? What did I do that was so great?”

Michael flashed Chucky a blinding smile as he explained:

“You’re actually my hero, Charles.”

“Call me Chucky.”

“…Okay, Chucky. You’re my hero because your humanitarian efforts around the globe were simply unparalleled. I mean, your anti-violence campaign in the impoverished neighbourhoods of New York? Brought tears to my eyes. You earned over a million points through that campaign alone.”

Okay, so there was clearly a case of mistaken identity here. Right death, wrong life. Whoever this other poor bastard was, if they’d swapped places with Chucky, they were gonna be on a fun trip to the Bad Place when they kicked the bucket. Chucky almost felt bad about it, but… he really didn’t care.

————————————————————-

After receiving the full brief from Michael about afterlife life, Chucky was taken for a tour around an idyllic neighbourhood that contained way too many frozen yogurt stores for his liking. He had to sit through a boring opening event that mentioned something about soulmates and points (that explained Michael’s reference to ‘points’ earlier when he justified why Chucky deserved to be there). 

After the tour and the opening speech, Chucky was led to his house. Any sympathy he might have had for Humanitarian Charles immediately faded when he saw where he was expected to live. It was tiny, there were no stairs and the lights were blindingly bright. To make matters worse; there were hundreds of paintings of those new Good Guy dolls covering the walls, and for some reason that made Chucky feel quite uneasy…

As he processed everything going on, Michael explained to him that he was about to meet his soulmate.

“For many people, a soulmate is a person with whom they share a romantic connection. But for you, the system has paired you with a platonic soulmate, a best friend, if you will.”

So he couldn’t actually find love even in paradise, great. As the crushing realisation that he would never be loved by anyone romantically in a truly impactful way washed over him, Chucky fixed his gaze on the front door and felt his heart stop when a man nervously shuffled into view as Michael said:

“Meet your soulmate: Daniel Pierce.”

Sarah’s husband. Oh god, his cover would be blown immediately. But of course; Chucky never truly had control over his tongue, and the first words out of his mouth when he locked eyes with his soulmate were:

“What the fork? Wait, why can’t I say fork?”

#chucky #chucky series #childs play #the good place #charles lee ray #horror #fanfiction #the good place au #daniel pierce #michael the good place

[princeescaluswords]

I'm having a hard time wording this but.... despite all their whining about being ~robbed~ I'm having a hard time believing the stans would actually enjoy a show centered on the feuding Hales and Argents.

Because I think, Scott would still be involved in some way

Derek: Are you sure this is the right script?

I think that what you might be missing is that up until Master Plan (2x12), that's what they thought they were getting.

You see, the fandom was so used to certain tropes -- particularly the Lost Prince trope -- being used again and again to tell the stories of White Male Characters, that they missed the signs that Teen Wolf was going to be a story about Scott McCall.

I really believe that they thought Scott was going to be the audience stand-in allowing us to participate in the battle between the Hales and the Argents, much like Nick Carraway serves to explain and elaborate on the goings-on in East Egg. He would give insight to the audience about the characters involved, reveal the historical context, and then eventually serve as witness (if not an aide) to Derek Hale reclaiming what was taken fro him: family, power, territory.

Until the end of the second season, they could twist the story in ways in order to imagine that would indeed happen. It didn't matter what Derek or Peter did to Scott, because Scott's supposed role as narrator wasn't to prioritize his own feelings or dignity. That's why you see so many people put a variation of the phrase "Derek may have gone about it the wrong way, but he was trying to help you" in Fanon Stiles's mouth in their fanfiction, because that is the type of thing protagonists do. But Derek wasn't trying to help Scott; he was treating Scott as a means to an end and anyone paying attention could see that. And it didn't matter that Allison was Scott's anchor or that he had actual emotions for her, because she belonged to the other side. That's why you see so many in the fandom consider Scott's feelings for her as obsessive or stupid, because he couldn't tell Derek's story if he kept taking Allison's side. Yet that wasn't what was happening, and anyone paying attention could see that.

The fandom's confirmation bias was enormous.

As the first two seasons progressed, they had to work hard to keep this particular trope a valid expectation. Derek didn't follow the standard arc for a Lost Prince. Lost Princes might make blunders or operate from a position of ignorance, but ultimately, the primary function of their errors is to show the validity of their claim because they can and must overcome these obstacles. For Derek, Teen Wolf didn't do that, and it was so confusing to the audience that they began to make jokes about it, such as "failwolf."

Derek's claiming of the alpha spark was supposed to be the first step to his ultimate victory, but the show presented it as leading to one disaster after another. Similarly, Scott wasn't supposed to develop leadership skills; he was supposed to fall in line and by falling in line give Derek the support he needed to succeed. Their fury when Deaton dismissed Derek as a not particularly competent alpha was a reaction to a possible forced epiphany: maybe Derek wasn't the protagonist? The Magic Negro is supposed to provide the impetus for the Lost Prince to pick himself up and win! (Deaton was doing this, but not for Derek, and that didn't make any sense to them.)

Master Plan was the proverbial nail in the coffin. Scott treated Derek as a villain in the second season finale and the narrative validated that, so they lost their minds! To them, the Lost Prince couldn't be a villain, no matter how many innocent people he tried to kill or teenagers he endangered. With the line "You may be an alpha, but you're not mine," they couldn't pretend that the story was about Derek any longer. Something had gone horribly wrong.

You may or may have not read Aesop, but you must have heard the story of the Fox and the Grapes. The Teen Wolf fandom became dominated by a group of people who were absolutely damn sure that those grapes were sour, because this was supposed to be a different variation on the old story. Derek was supposed to overcome the plots of those dastardly Argents and their Allies as well as any other villain that came along, with the aid of his able assistants (Scott and the Betas who abandoned him) and his true love. Derek didn't. His purpose in the story as a foil was to validate Scott's rise to power and Scott's moral stance, as he did in Riddled (3x18), The Divine Move (3x24), I.E.D. (4x05), Smoke & Mirrors (4x12) and The Wolves of War (6x20), as well as numerous minor scenes.

To counter your argument, as long as the roles were reversed, and Scott was there to validate Derek as protagonist, they would have been just fine with six seasons of Hales vs. Argents. They were expecting that so much that they thought it was inevitable, which is why you get members of the fandom saying things like "Jeff Made Derek Do That!" Well, yes, he did, because he's the writer and that was the story he chose to tell.

#scott mccall #derek hale #scott mccall defense squad #teen wolf fandom problems #fandom racism

[agentnico]

Past Lives (2023) Review

This. This is romance. Not that silly Sydney Sweeney/Glen Powell romp coming later this year where they go to a wedding and pretend to be a couple just to spite their exes. Like honestly, we've already been through Fifty Shades of Grey. And Darker. And flipping Freed! Now we've got this ridiculous Anyone But You. Yikes. Thankfully Past Lives has come out this year and reminds us that solid mature love stories can be made.

Plot: Nora and Hae Sung, two deeply connected childhood friends, are thrust apart after Nora's family emigrates from South Korea. Decades later, they are reunited for one fateful week as they confront destiny, love and the choices that make a life.

A new A24 movie. Plot twist - it's good. Honestly, A24's track record in recent years has been insanely solid! It's delightful to see, as they give such a strong voice to indie filmmaking, and support independent cinema by believing in them and providing them a platform to be seen by the world. The most notable recent example has been Ari Aster's wacko psychological attack on the senses with his odyssey of Beau Is Afraid. Love or hate that movie, one has to appreciate that a movie like that would not have been possible would it not have been for A24. Taking such a risk by literally allowing filmmakers to really go out there with their ideas is wonderful and as such any new A24 release always sparks my attention.

Past Lives is very much a film that shines through with its simplicity and restraint. First-time director Celine Song seems to really understand that idea of human connection, and as such for the most part, trusts her actors to make the magic happen. Many scenes involve characters exchanging long lines of dialogue and then simply staring into one another eyes in silence, and it never felt awkward or off, but simply very real. The actors' body language in particular was impressive, with the simple twitches of the eye or light nodding of the head expressing so much emotion and deeper meaning. Again, this is a very simple plot, yet it manages to become this rich and complex tale of identity, lost love, sought closure, and found purpose, with elements of spiritualism and inner psychology; and it's all due to Celine Song having the proper understanding of when to allow silence to speak. Yet despite the frequent bouts of silence, not a moment feels wasted. Every shot and sentence is meticulously edited to give us exactly what we need to feel each moment with its full emotional power. Speaking of the shots, the cinematography is crisp and powerful, managing to capture the beauty of lonely cities, reflecting the inner psyche of its central characters.

Again, Past Lives isn't in any way groundbreaking or mind-blowing. In fact, the movie can be fully summed up using the quote that Ke Huy Quan says in Everything Everywhere All at Once - "In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you." It's that idea of what-if that I'm sure every single one of you had where you look back into your memories and wonder what if you did something different and how that would have changed your present. In terms of Everything Everywhere that very much is an exaggerated version with multiverses and alternate realities, but the idea is the same. Also, Past Lives delves into the Buddhist idea of reincarnation, and how some people are not meant to be with each other in this life, but in another do get together. In the movie's context, it's about connections and the inarticulate way we cannot understand why we have these people in our lives.

This is very mature filmmaking, with serious themes and poetic connotations, which I very much enjoyed. My one gripe and this is definitely just me, but John Magaro's character of the modern-day husband of Nora - he seemed too nice to be true. Like his woman is so over this old friend from childhood where romance is definitely insinuated, and he's just so accepting of it. I would have personally been really jealous, but no, Magaro was just like "I trust ya". That's not me complaining about the film, it's just me questioning his character's thought process and overly trusting nature. Regardless, Past Lives is an honest, delicate, and ambling movie that doesn't try to be anything bigger than what it is - a simple story of love.

Overall score: 7/10

#past lives #celine song #film reviews #movie reviews #film #movie #drama #romance #a24 #cinema #human connection #2023 #2023 in film #2023 films #greta lee #teo yoo #past lives 2023 #john magaro #love #in yeon #past lives review

[marshmallowprotection]

I've been curious about something recently. In Cereus you chose to really change Rika's character to be a much more uhhh morally correct one and I was wondering why that was? Was it mostly a way to push aside some elements that weren't that interesting or needed in that particular story? I think it's interesting because it ended up making the Choi father even more morally corrupt since the murder of mother Choi shifted from Rika to him. (I ask this as a Rika lover)

Thank you for the question! Would you believe you're one of the first people to ask about Rika in Cereus in the two years since the original story came out? Wild. So, with this story in particular, my goal was to change many story elements from the original game. You can see the changes in more places than just Rika.

Unknown and Saeyoung being forced to work together was one idea I wanted to work with since all the stories until this point always have the twins pushed against each other, wittingly or not. I was so curious about the dynamic they could foster when Unknown is upset with his brother for a few things, same as V, but it's not the same context for this universe as it is in canon. He tolerates them, but as you read the story, you realize why he feels at odds with them.

Unknown blames V for what he went through the minute he and his brother were pushed into the outlaw life. It's not V's fault, per se, but since V made a deal with Vanderwood... and Vanderwood happened to be the one that put the twins in hiding... in the worst kind of way... well, we can see the chain of events that makes him feel that way to his father-figure. Or, the flip side of that, you see how Unknown feels conflicted with his twin brother in countless ways.

He doesn't hate Saeyoung... but you can see that he hates that his brother wants to be buddy-buddy. Unknown doesn't want to play a game of pretend or fake smile his way through this. He wants all of this to be over with and Saeyoung keeps wishing he was the only one with dirty hands while his brother stays innocent... and that is the tension that makes this universe so interesting. They're at odds in many ways.

Some other elements that shifted are mild. Like, Yoosung already lost his eye during an accident. I shifted that around to have him closer to his cousin and V in particular. In this universe, it's much more likely to say that he's not as upset with V. Rika's death was sold to everyone as a fever. She got sick and passed away abruptly in the dead of night.

At that time, it wasn't uncommon or unheard of since the story takes place roughly in the early-to-mid 1890s. Yoosung doesn't blame V for that. He still feels... tense and terse around him but that's a mixture of dealing with grief. I haven't delved much into that but that one was a specific quirk I thought was intriguing to consider.

Now, in the context of Rika, her death is very real and tangible in this story.

She isn't pulling strings, but you still feel a sense of doubt about that, I'm sure, as you read the story properly since there are a lot of tight spots where it's not clear who the real enemy is. Of course, Saejoong is there, but... it's clear to the reader that there's more going on in the background until the very last couple of chapters and you see that it isn't like the typical ending for a Mystic Messenger story since most of the time, Rika is revealed to be a puppet master.

In contrast, if you read my story Calluna, you would find that there is more in line with the standard theming for this game, but in Cereus, I wanted the story to shift, change, and feel different from what we've all come to expect. So, with Rika, I wanted to explore more of the bit of sense in her heart that just wanted a family. I wanted that to be in her heart in Cereus. Sure, she was tormented by demons because in this reality—

She is still a victim of her adoptive family and her pastor... and the only reason she was able to escape from that is that V was the one who said he would marry her and keep her away from them. It wasn't the best relationship, obviously, because they got together in the name of knowing it was the only way to keep people at bay. But, they did their best in this universe to make it work. Rika found a sense of purpose and control in herself at the Bar.

She loved being in the spotlight, performing, smiling, and feeling like she was a true star... as if she was the sun that V made her see in a different light when she was finally free. She really was trying to do her best to make a family in the Bar with V.

She helped her cousin who lost his eye and felt like he wasn't capable of anything anymore, she brought Zen off the streets when he arrived in town and gave him a space to be himself, she convinced Jumin that Jaehee was the best fit as an assistant because she knew what it felt like to be a girl in the wild west who wanted more than what she was given, and she and V made sure that Jumin reminded to come and see his friends when he needed a break instead of trying to push himself hard into it.

I wanted this story to explore that side of Rika. The part of Rika that wanted to help people, sincerely. She's not a perfect person, she did make mistakes with the twins when she and V hid them in their home after Mother Choi was murdered in cold blood, and she did have bouts of depression and mania that made it hard to deal with the world around her.

But, she was trying her best, and that is a side of Rika we don't often see in written media because it's far too easy to write her off instead as an antagonist. While her self-defense murder of Mother Choi in the canon universe was a catalyst for her losing herself forever, I felt like I needed to explore something else for once just to see where that took me.

She wanted a family.

She wanted to be loved.

That is a Rika that needs highlighting now and again.

There's more Rika lore in the sequel story if you're interested in trying to read Andromeda since that's immediately after Cereus. I should do a oneshot or something about Rika and V in Cereus before the twins. I've thought about it! You've made me want to do that to help folks get a better idea of her!

But, if you want a story with more Rika involvement, you should try out Gardenia, et tu Polaris in the meantime until I get you some more cowboy content!

In reference to Saejoong Choi, I feel like he's worse than we know as well. Cereus was written in the throes of the time right after the After Ending and I was thinking long and hard about all the things this man has done. I think he's ordered hits on people before. I think he's done so much worse in the name of keeping power over others. I wanted to have a place to put that in a story, too. He's ruined more lives than we can ever imagine, and when he told Saeyoung that—

"You might've done work for me in the agency."

I just knew that Saejoong has been doing a lot of horrid things in the name of being Prime Minister. So, him being the one to get rid of his wife personally in this story? It forces people to look at that with the sense of "It doesn't matter if he has no agency, he's power-mad, and he will do anything to do it and get his money/title."

#anon #ask #mod kait #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #rika kim #kim rika #cereus #cowboy unknown #character analysis