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moonsaver · 2 days

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Anon that said they wanted to put Sunday in a Petri dish here again thinking about him. I had this thought about him while eating an avocado egg breakfast bagel but that’s not the point. I lowkey feel like the most annoying thing he’d do to me imo is bother me when I eat. Not any of that kidnapping or coercion stuff but just him bugging me when I’m annoyed and hungry. I feel like he’d constantly wipe the corners of our mouth and tell us not to talk when chewing. Literally the worst. At some point he’d probably spoon feed us too if we didn’t listen to him. Maybe even put a cute apron on us and make me sit in his lap. I need him in a concerning way I’m chewing at the bars of my enclosure rn

Welcome back anon!

Tw: food and eating mentions, mannerisms regarding food.. basically about eating and that being controlled. Probably not good to read if you struggle with eating in some way. Take precaution!

Honestly.. yeah. I feel like more than half the time it's how strict he is with "propriety' that makes being kidnapped and held hostage by him the worst.

I personally would hate someone constantly picking on my mannerisms. It's your home for goodness sake!

Whenever you sit languidly at the dinner table he's always "advising" you to sit "properly" and with a straight back, fix your posture, fix your etiquette regarding your spoons and forks, constantly teaches you how to properly cut your food and eat it, the "proper" angle or whatever. Tries forcing a habit onto you of always placing a napkin on your lap and eating slowly with better precision and more attention. Always fidgeting and cleaning the corner of your mouth with his handkerchief to the point your skin gets irritated and sometimes burns from the constant rubbing.

Whenever you complain about his incessant need to "fix" you, he simply sighs and tells you "it's for your own good". If you keep complaining, his eyebrows slightly furrow and he sighs, shaking his head before getting up and sitting beside you, taking the cutlery from your hands and deciding to feed you instead. Although his intention was to simply enforce a good habit into you, he supposes reaping different rewards isn't so bad either.. he likes feeding you. It kind of becomes routine for you two. He says until you learn how to properly handle yourself, he'll take care of you. It's just a fancy excuse for him to continue feeding you.

Thankfully, when it comes to dietary restrictions, he's not completely bonkers about it like an almond mom. Just doesn't allow too much or too little of anything, it's a bit specific, but at least satisfactory.

About the apron thing.. yeah.

I imagine Sunday can cook those mild, flattery, rich people food so if you want to eat actual damn meals he either orders them, or has them prepared by a chef. However.. one day he sees you in an apron making something for yourself and something about it intrigues him. Seeing you in an apron and the domesticity of it kind of pulls something inside of him.

So there you have it – he's always (not so) subtly trying to push you to cook more just so he can see you in an apron. Buys the frilly kind, but if you don't like that.. fine. He'll get you some minimalistic ones, but he wants to see them on you. Gets cookbooks for you, too. Acts like the chef "is running late" just so you might cook, or says "the order's going to take some time" instead. Also lists off benefits of cooking for oneself. Doesn't mind if you don't cook for two, but does insist that he keeps feeding you. Tells you to stay in your apron because it's more convenient than putting a napkin on your lap, and tells you to move closer so he can properly feed you. He'll sigh, and massage his temple, saying "it's not enough, you need to come closer", and makes you sit in his lap while he feeds you. You swear he goes slower just to keep you there for longer.

At least.. he's been in a happier mood since. He does enjoy feeding you. Removes his silken white gloves just to do so. I imagine he also likes tying the apron for you himself. If he does it from behind, he kisses your nape after he's done. Or if he does it from the front, he pulls you closer with the strings of the apron, and kisses your forehead. Also insists on tying up your hair (if it's possible) as "they might get in the way". His excuses are getting old, but it's not like you can exactly deny him.

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is-it-bussin-hannibal · 2 days

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okay so,, I don't know if i have it in me to write a whole fic, but i needed to get this slightly dark Paul out of my head

Paul is married off to Feyd the second Feyd is of age (which avoids the attack on Arrakis yadayada as Feyd, alongside Paul, will inherent Arrakis, everybody wins). At first, obviously, the boys don't like each other very much, they're two teenagers, but they're also of noble birth, it's their duty, and Paul is bene gesserit, his whims have no place here. Feyd tends to ignore his husband most of the time, but he sleeps in the same bed, sometimes he'll stay in their rooms while Paul read or draws, somethings he really just stays there, quiet, sometimes he will engage in an activity of his own, they're practically parallel playing, sometimes he'll excise, and Paul will quietly join him. Paul knows he could seduce him, but there's just something about Feyd, how he avoids physical contact, how he'll move an inch away when approached, he's very mistrustful, and Paul respects that. It only infuriated him a "bit" when he found out Lady Fenring seduced his husband, and he knew why. Still, Feyd willingly spends time around him, and he doesn't do that to anyone else, and that means something.

Living in Geidi Prime proves to be a chore, it's harsh and cold and empty. Paul has observing as his form of distraction, right away he understands the power balance here, he understands why things happen the way they do, he sees the Baron for what he is, he also starts to understands Feyd the longer he stays with him. Paul never had anyone his age around, granted, but he also never had anyone match his wits, and he's delighted with how smart Feyd is. From what he learned with the bene gesserit, his husband was a animal, aggressive and not particularly intelligent, like his brother but stronger, he thought his marriage would be just taming a beast, like he was trained to do, dull and uncomfortable. But oh, what a delicious surprise!! Feyd managed to deceive the witches, made this mask of a monster, but of course, no one can get close enough to see through it. Paul does, like a bad dog, Feyd-Rautha bites when threatened. And soon Paul realizes, that everything here is a threat to Feyd, and has been since he can remember, the biggest threat? the Baron. He feels sorry for his husband, but he knows that would not please Feyd, and Feyd made the effort to be around him, because for some reason, he decided to stay with him for life and not just, kill him, and he's happy with that, so he does his best to show Feyd what a family is, because now they're family.

Paul sets for old fashioned childlike friend making instead of bene gesserit seduction. He talks to Feyd, even though Feyd does not respond, tell him things, sometimes random things, sometimes important things about himself, just to make conversation, to guide Feyd. The Na-Baron is very confused at first, but he listens, Paul urges him to speak too, he doesn't really knows what to say, but in time, he starts making comments about things here and there, like he's seen Paul do, which seems to please Paul. They create a routine. He annoys Feyd enough that the older has no option but let him do whatever he wants, and what he wants? to know Feyd, to be his friend. Feyd is not really familiar with the concept, he has his pets of course, but they're just one of the twisted mentat's failed experiments. The girls are beautiful but with the intelligence of a doberman. They were given to him as mock, but his pets suppressed expectations in his hands. Paul doesn't mind them at first, they scare him but it's nothing he can't deal with. He knows Feyd loves them, he usually doesn't show soft emotions, not here, never here, but Paul just knows, he can feel it. So he approaches the girls, he has heard all kinds of horrible things about the Na-Baron's harem of cannibals, but that's just what they are. They were born cannibals, they need human meat, Feyd is a gladiator, he keeps the girls fed, nothing else. For the world it looks sadistic and evil, adding to Feyd-Rautha's lore, from up close, it's really what Feyd can show of compassion. Gretel, Mischa and Niobe, they can't talk, but they're smart, Paul teaches them some sign language. Feyd is more than impressed, the girls usually don't let themselves be approached by strangers, but Paul won them over, especially Niobe, she's the one more taken by his little husband, follows him around and is eager to communicate, even started to sleep by his bed. Feyd asks to learn sign language too, of course, he also wants to communicate better with the girls. Paul can explode with happiness, something else to bond over!!! They're already have fighting, flying and Paul noticed the dedication Feyd has with his looks and decides to match him. It takes hard work, but Feyd starts to relax around Paul. He also understands Paul is his equal, just as intelligent, just as resilient, he can see Paul and Paul can see him. He's still hesitant, like a wild animal who was kept in a cage too long, but he's getting there and that's okay for Paul, he'll teach his husband, feelings are hard and Feyd never learned to deal with them besides bottling them up and attacking first, but now Paul is here, they are friends.

Enough spice in the food has enhanced his perception, he noted, and easily enough, he knows who he is, what he is, not just a Harkonnen by marriage but by blood. He can feel it now, in the back of his conscience, that thing that have always flown through his blood but he could never name it, hedonism. His sheltered, kinda repressed, life in Caladan makes him a little angry, all he has been denied and for what?. The Baron obviously takes a like for him, and he understands why, he also understands why Feyd seems uncomfortable, almost disgusted with it, and he too, feels a little thrown off by it, but he's bene gesserit, he uses it.

No reason to tiptoe aroud it, Paul calls him grandpa, which just makes the Baron happier with him. He stays at the Baron's side, sits with him in his floating device, talks about whatever the Baron wants, let's his thick hands linger, he gains advantages over the fat man. Soon enough, he's included in the important conversations. Even though the old man is a disgusting creature, Paul sees he's also very intelligent, and even learns a thing or two from the Baron. His grandfather is more than happy to dress him up in the most expensive fabrics, parade him around like a trophy, and Paul does the Baron's biding because yes, he's the most disgusting man in the galaxy but boy, he sure knows what he's doing, and he's got to make the most out of his situation. He knows his family would be outraged to see the Duke's son like this, in the Baron's lap, laughing, clinging to him, whispering in his ear a thing or two he noticed about the nobles around them. But Paul is not just the Duke's son, he's bene gesserit, he has the power here, he's a mentat, he's doing this for the advantages, he's Harkonnen, he's doing this because he can, because it's his birthright.

Paul noticed how Feyd would tense up in the Baron's presence, how he hated to be touched by anyone but held very still anytime it was necessary, he noticed Feyd would cover his body head to toe when he had the choice, only socially he would be showing skin, enchanting everyone around him like a good showman, and Paul knew he hated it, he knew he was doing what he was taught to do, to be a good boy and entertain. Maybe after a while he ever got a taste for that, not enough to enjoy having skin showing around the Baron, but enough to do it effortlessly.

After so much time around the Baron, Paul learned he did, in fact, have strong Harkonnen blood running through his veins. He enjoys power, he enjoys lavishness, he is very much a hedonist. The bene gesserit training served him well, but he saw through them now, he would not do their bidding, especially after learning what they did to Feyd, setting a trigger word that would render him paralyzed, "for safety" they said, it makes his blood boil. Taking away Feyd's agency, making him vulnerable, he knows those are Feyd's biggest fears, oh how he would snap those witches necks with his bare hands, maybe he will if they ever get too close to his husband. Let them think he tamed the beast, let them think of him as a beast, that keeps him safe, and Paul learned from Feyd, add fuel to the fire if it's working for you.

His training from his old masters also served him well, but now that his grandfather included him in real talks about the imperium he knows there's no such thing as morally better or whatnot, if anything, his father was not very smart, leading with his heart and training with repression. He loves his family dearly, but the world is so much bigger now, and out of everyone, is the Baron teaching him. His sees now, his mother is a Harkonnen like any other, hungry for power, he cannot see how love would blind such a powerful woman, that's why she defied the sisterhood, why she tried to make him a boy, the one. He wonders how different things would be if she had been raised by her father, maybe she would be like himself now.

Like the Baron, he thought of Feyd as "his", differently from the Baron, he would NEVER hurt him, and that's how he distance himself from that man, he can not stand the thought of Feyd being hurt, and he will do whatever it takes to protect his husband, his friend. He knows Feyd initially was angry at him for this behavior, withdrawing from him, he couldn't understand why Paul would let the Baron touch him, knowing what he knew, knowing what he did to Feyd, how could he be fine with that, was he that much like his grandfather? it was revolting to him. And at first, Feyd thought his husband was stealing his thunder, then, he thought his husband was giving himself for free. It took a while for Feyd to realized that with Paul gliding around the room in his pretty, expensive clothes the Baron chose for him, nobody, especially the Baron, minded him. He could wear the clothes he was comfortable with, no one cared, he didn't need to say a word to anyone, all eyes were on Paul, the sweet, pretty grandson of the Baron Harkonnen. He felt it, Paul was doing this for him, no one was going to touch him, no one was going to be all over him, he wasn't going to be forced to perform, the Baron would not hurt him, not under the little witch boy's spell. Paul was also safe from the people around them, Feyd was a plaything until he started to bite back, but no one would touch the Baron's arm candy, the Baron's only grandson. Feyd is as close to free as he could ever be, thanks to Paul, he almost can't keep it in his chest, the dukling likes him so much he is willingly at the Baron's side, knowing that his family will not be happy with that. No one had ever protected Feyd before, maybe his mother once, but he couldn't really remember. And like that, he trusts Paul, and maybe that's what love feels like. Paul knows what loves is, he was loved from his first breath, and when he sees it in the Na-Baron's eyes, directed at him, he feels complete.

In the early days of their marriage, when Feyd was very skittish around him, and would not touch him, Paul thought of many things, maybe the Na-Baron didn't find him attractive? or maybe he was repulsed by sex altogether, odd, considering what he learned about Geidi Prime and Harkonnen culture. Maybe he was impotent? no, the sisters would've told him that, they wouldn't jeopardize the way for an heir. That wouldn't do, they needed an heir to secure this union and Feyd unwillingness to touch him as unbecoming.

One day, during their training session, Paul was wearing a short blouse that would ride up with every move, he caught the older boy's eyes lingering on his frame, he said nothing, Feyd also said nothing. Then Paul noticed his struggle to move, the Na-Baron's pants had become tight, the duckling smiled to himself, so he was attracted to him after all, and he clearly could get it up, so what was the issue?. One day, Paul used the Voice on Feyd, they were wrestling, he thought it would be funny to get the upper hand like that, and a good way to let Feyd know of his abilities. He was wrong, Feyd moved so fast way from him, it was as if he used the Voice to tell him that and not "down". He looked terrified for a moment before he caught himself, still away from Paul as he got up. Paul felt so bad, he understood why Feyd was terrified, Feyd hated not having control over his own body, more than hate, he feared that. Paul explaind he only wanted Feyd to know he could do it, told him he would NEVER use the Voice on him again, apologized profoundly. Feyd acknowledged his explanation but was very surprised by the apology, he liked it, Paul could tell. He decided to show what a pinky promise was, and made a promise with Feyd. Feyd-Rautha was quite happy with that.

They had become more comfortable with each other over the weeks, they held hands and hug every once in a while. Paul would have vison nightmares sometimes, other times Feyd would have nightmares, after calming down they would just hug until they fell asleep again, Feyd was getting found of hugs. Paul even got a kiss! the only other time they kissed was at their wedding and Feyd did as fast as he could.

One day, while they were laying in bed, just enjoying the other's company, Feyd asked, out of nowhere, if he would use the Voice on someone else. Paul took a while to respond that yes, if he needed, he would, he saw something shine in Feyd's eyes, he couldn't tell-- "you're very powerful" Feyd said, not blinking, looking directly at him, breathing heavily, and oh, that's it, Feyd is not only attracted to him, he's also attracted to power. Paul then decided to show how much he appreciated his husband by giving him power over himself. Feyd, unlike him, was experienced, forced to perform, then acquired a taste for it, for taking back. Paul knew what he was taught as a bene gesserit and what his grandfather had shown him in filmbooks but nothing felt like giving in to Feyd, not having to be the one in control all the time, just letting go, he trusted Feyd, knew he would never hurt him, and Feyd trusted Paul to never force him to do anything. They were a united front now.

#paul muad'dib #paul atreides #lisan al gaib #frank herbert's dune #dune #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha #feydpaul #feyd x paul #feyd rautha x paul atreides #you see this frank??? hope you're enjoying it from hell bitch #frank herbert's homophobia works hard but i work harder #btw i had six to eight pages to write about Lawrence of Arabia form my maps class but i wrote this instead 🙃#i seriously need to study how am i to be a historians with this kind of behavior #sorry professor didn't write the essay you asked bc i was too busy writing about these star crossed lover boys to spite the original author #is paul trans? is he intersex? is it a they/them????? that's up to god #paul atreides is queer as in strange and unusual but also as in gay #dark paul atreides #slightly Paul Harkonnen if want god bless 🙌

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fictionfixations · 2 days

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Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

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aroaessidhe · 7 months

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2023 reads / storygraph

Something More

YA contemporary about a Palestinian-Canadian girl starting high school, navigating new crushes and accepting her recent autism diagnosis

#something more #jackie kalilieh #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is pretty good!#obv it’s not my kind of book but having an autistic MC made it a lot less frustrating than a similar book with an allistic MC would be imo #I thought it was a great representation of a low support needs autistic teen girl #and like. embracing her autism but also it's not the only thing the book is about #Was a bit exhausting the way she keeps going back to this guy even though he’s kinda shitty #though I guess it felt quite transparent that the narrative is partly about recognising unhealthy relationships & what mistakes you should #forgive and what are ongoing patterns. and most of the relationships are like different examples of that #so like that gave me a bit of a step back from all the drama and stuff that would have otherwise annoyed me too much #because it was obvious that that was the point of all that #I think it would have been good to have developed her relationship with her grandmother - 3/4 through something happens #and it has pretty much no emotional punch because I was like wait. she has a grandmother?#Maybe that would have made it too sad when it’s mostly a lighthearted romance but like. you could have made the thing more of just a scare

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tianhai03 · 2 years

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before i go to bed, here’s a couple of colorings C submitted in the past few days!

#the bg for the baby twins one is very simple but i like it :)#devil may cry #dante(dmc)#vergil(dmc)#fan's colorings #from now on its ramblings for C again so you guys can stop reading <3 #hey C!! please dont feel like youre bothering me with your submissions; youre not at all!#i would keep posting your stuff individually but i just think it'll be a little better to post them in batches thats all #i dont want you to feel pressured into doing more but i dont want you to feel bad for doing too much either #i just want you to have fun doing it; submit it whenever you feel like it; and i'll post them eventually i promise #im really sorry if what i said last time made you feel like i was annoyed with you; i swear i wasnt!#i genuinely do enjoy looking at what you do it's always fun to see what kinda things people can do when inspired by stuff ive made #if you wanna take a break thats totally fine! i'll be here to post your submissions whenever youre ready again #also; your dad's words are very kind!! please thank him for me!!!#i'll be off to bed now; please take care :)#allyart

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jewishcissiekj · 19 days

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was hearing this weird ass chirping in my ear and went "must be birds or something" I FORGOT TO DISCONNECT MY EARPHONES FROM MY PHONE AND THEY DECIDED TO KEEP PLAYING THE ROTS NOVELIZATION THAT WAS JONATHAN DAVIS READING THAT SHIT ON 2X SPEED IT WASN'T BIRDS

#yael is reading star wars #rots novelization.#started it earlier today lmao #it's fine for me #i do not like the dooku characterization at alllllll #obi-wan's thing with droids is just straight up annoying #other than that. very ambitious book #i see the point and i see how you'll go for it #but rn i'm in my overly critical era (kind of obi-wan of me) so i'm not like #enjoying it a lot #it's a good novelization so far!#but yeah i'm on one of the first chapters so keep that in mind #we'll see

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victarin · 8 months

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thought abt working on fazco entities.. opened up procreate and got distractd by reworking the outfits on my ocs.... went on tik tok for five minutes as a break and immediately wanted to make an animatic for my minecraft oc .... went on procreate and got distracted by outfits again ... There was something else i wanted to work on but . i cant remember what. i have done nothing productive today

#talking #did like two things that are kinda productive but not rlly and they took longer than they shouldve #ive beentrying to get myself to read (aka turn on Read aloud extension) these articles for so long #so i can draw while listening #BUT I KEEP . HAWKJHWWWWWW #i need to pick something to draw oh my god #and also stop getting distracted #or wanting to vomit #i b wanting to throw up a lot these days its kind of annoying #but its ok! because the solution is not thinking too hard about deadlines and also my personal life #i got distracted again oops

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soubiapologist · 2 months

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i don't expect any of you to understand the reference but alice cooper. from riverdale. is a little like if a loveless character was really really really fucking funny

#in that she a darkly realistic portrayal of Your Yes Your 🫵🏻 Insane Mom #i have never seen a more.... i don't want to say ''realistic'' because riverdale exists in this like. absurd parody dimension both--#on purpose and on accident but like.#nothing that EMULATES the FEELING of having a Crazy Mom who has no idea she's crazy #and thinks she's justified in literally everything she does and is just like. a complete fucking controlling nutcase who is making--#literally everything worse by pretending she doesn't have trauma #of course it's also very silly but rvd also wants you to take it seriously so it's just like having an (AWESOME) aneurysm the entire time #you have to have a very specific sense of humour to enjoy rvd if you like like.#sardonically sitting around watching increasingly absurd things happen to characters you have zero investment in other than laughing at--#because they just live these deranged lives that are beyond parody and just like bitching at your TV for fun with like a friend then i thin #--you might like it.#like you absolutely cannot get seriously invested in the plot or characters if you want to enjoy it it's hard to explain #but it's also like kind of like loveless in the way that the fandom was originally people doing Shipping and then getting increasingly--#annoyed when it didn't do what they wanted and dropping off #and in the process missing out on the craziest train derailment of all time just like absolute complete lunatic shit #and it seems like it keeps trying to self flagellate for the first like. half #and in riverdale's case it's REALLY funny and in loveless's case it's really um. scary (affectionate)#also like 99% of the people who watch rvd seem to not understand that it's supposed to be insane and 99% of the people who read loveless--#miss that it's supposed to be HASHTAG SCARY #like rvd also exists in this weird dimension where you're supposed to think it's funny and they're trying to piss you off on purpose #but they're also trying very hard to like Discuss Social Issues and it end up very funny because they're bad at it but GOD It's so sincere-#while standing next to the campiest insincere shit EVER it's so fucking funny #meanwhile loveless's tone problem is like yun kouga is just a crazy person.#i mean roberto is also a crazy person but yun kouga is like a tortured crazy person. and he's like. the guy who would make glee crazy--#person. does that make sense.#no one is reading this don't worry about it. smiles.

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aflawedfashion · 9 months

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I hope Doug gets a win in the finale because this season really decided to destroy everything he loves and he needs a come back

#minx stop making me root for this man so much #it’s rude #he has flaws certainly #but he’s fun #he’s charasmatic #and he’s trying to do the right thing even when he messes up #he’s impulsive and gets in over his head a lot but that kind of makes the entire show work #he’s a good tv character #it keeps the show interesting #but this season became almost too aware of his flaws #(Joyce’s too)#like the writers read too many Reddit comments about how the characters are annoying and wrote to that #and I don’t think he needed to be pushed this far down to work on what he neeeded to work on #but I’m hopeful for the finale because I don’t think the show actually decided he needed to be destroyed as a human being #it looks like things might come to together and it should be a high energy episode #I always like to a give a show the chance to pull it all together #need to see where everything is going before i decide how I feel #and I do have hope #minx

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starlit-mansion · 4 months

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part of the reason why that cringe ass contemporary romance book i read half of annoyed me so much is one of the leads is a demisexual divorced dad and like. my lodestone oc is a demisexual divorced dad. you come to MY stomping grounds and have a guy's ex wife tell him to his face he's demisexual and he just accepts it? why are they even divorced then. where's the resentment? where's the annoyance with someone who has failed to read you in the past trying to read you and failing (but actually succeeding which is more annoying)? where's the dismissal of the idea that's not how everyone is? come the fuck on

#i am much stronger in that i am able to make my oc... kind of a mid dad who has has actual flaws besides OOOH HE'S TOOOO NICE #also literally the only reason he finds out (in modern au) about demisexuality is the queer kids who like to annoy him keep trying to #get his take on niche microlabels and that's literally the only one he's like 'that's not a thing. that's normal behavior' about #in proper fantasy setting. he never really puts words to it and chalks it up to mostly living among people who aren't his species #like yeah he's only attracted to his partner because they're the only human he's ever been into #and the dating pool in his own species is small so it makes sense that he's only clicked with his two exes #but i know. i know he's demisexual as hell and also. stubborn and unwilling to update his self image #but going back to the book... as a divorce enjoyer. it was infuriating to have this guy have 0% beef with his ex wife #like i wasn't mad they were functional coparents and still friends but they just. did not read like they were divorced whatsoever #no chemistry AND no enmity. honk shoo snoozefest

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robocops-a-christ-allegory · 1 year

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The other thing about this Doom Patrol I dont like is all the allegory shit. Thats part of why the name scene not involving a trans character bothered me. We had Kate Godwin show up in the 90s and be a actual trans woman and now in 2023 were having the “respect peoples chosen names!” conversation with characters in supernatural situations only. Not even fucking Chief or anyone else in Jane’s system mentioned for that one, other characters with real world stuff that would be good for that conversation. I dont know man

#Like come on you couldve just had someone say 'oh like with Kate! Or like with with Chief!'#This is why Im like eyes twitching about Peacemaker being here by the way #because this run seems to be doing like superpowers as allegories for real world oppression and primarily so far it seems like #being LGBT and having mental issues is the main type of stuff its allegory'ing and we have the guy with #schizophrenia and a character history of just trying to fucking live while everybody is horrible to him about it here doing bad guy things #Its issue 3 so Im still giving it a chance (I will keep reading no matter what if Peacemaker keeps showing up.) but #yeah if they ignore all the that with him Im probably gonna be annoyed and uncomfortable #Also yeah I know Doom Patrol's always done this but the Pollack run at least did it really well you'd think #other writers would just also do that.#this run also seems really shitty about Jane's system right now by the way #those variant covers for issue 1 seem kind of disrespectful as hell #I know every Doom Patrol run is shitty about it but come onnnn cant someone just try to do better

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ladysophiebeckett · 1 year

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the kaling criticism is crossing the line into misogyny and no one’s being careful.

#i have a very complicated relationship with mk #bc i am at the end of the day---fond of her #but ive seen and read--for years--mind you---#south east asian girls and women rightfully critique her about how she portrays her indian female characters #and indian ppl over all #and the pattern she continues to follow in terms of fictional romantic relationships #(the white guy thing)#and theyre not wrong to be bothered by it #theyre not wrong to be offended\annoyed\hurt by it #that kind of criticism is valid #but this v\lma thing has gotten out of control #its getting very weird #its reaching 'i hate when women ruin things' territory #yes shes a producer and had a hand in picking writers but ultimately this is the show hbo streamer wanted #so dont over pile on just the one 1 person #that being said....i watched the first ep of v\lma and i really didnt like it #i didnt #so im just not gonna keep watching #if ur a childhood fan dont bother with it bc its not for you #its for the average viewer thats doesnt care #do i wish that MK would grow past certain types of jokes? yes. is she? no.#she is very comfortable in certain patterns of her writing #the same way tina fey is comfortable in hers (mean girls movie\mean girls musical\mean girls musical movie)#among other patterns i wont get into #i dont expect much fm mk. just like i dont expect much fm fey.#and both have large fan bases so my post wont do any damage

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aroaessidhe · 6 months

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2023 reads / storygraph

Fake Dates and Mooncakes

upper-YA mlm romance

follows a Singaporean Chinese American boy who lives with his aunt & cousins who run a struggling takeout in Brooklyn

he’s preparing to enter a mooncake contest in memory of his mother, in hopes to win some money & attention for their business

when he meets a rich boy on a delivery who comes back the next day to apologise about his rude friend, he quickly gets a crush, and ends up as his fake date to a big family wedding

#Fake Dates and Mooncakes #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this was fun I guess??#was more dramatic than I was expecting (like saving someone from drowning kind of thing lmao)#(there’s a little bit of miscommunication drama in the middle but it doesn’t last TOO long) (though it felt unnecesary)#enjoyed listening to it. it was a bit silly sometimes.#the narration is kinda monotonous ngl. or maybe it was just really slow - I sped it up more than my usual and it stopped annoying me as muc #I did keep thinking it was adult not YA - I guess just the things that come with Rich Love Interest are less common in YA….#BUT it didn’t necessarily read as an adult book forced into a YA skin yknow #why was the LI still friends with his shitty friend. like he’s just There lmao #I also assumed the author was a dude which I just found out is not the case haha

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bugdogg · 10 months

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It’s late enough, I remember mentioning here that I was doing a gender assessment and I finished it and decided to do nothing. Not taking testosterone or anything just came out thinking “I’ll buy a packer or something, maybe a binder too and see”

Warning ig for talking about my feelings on my sex and my whole struggle with it and some anxiety issues too ech, idk if people find that gross or annoying but warning anyway

Ik I don’t wanna be a girl fully but I like having tits and I’m not unhappy with a pussy but I’m maybe 90% sure I want a dick more. I don’t want to lose my pussy because then I’d feel like I’d have to do anal(??) like it isn’t mandatory but I’d like to keep my vaginal opening (this sounds gross but that’s like the actual term for it ig).

So then i considered no surgery just testosterone to hope my clitoris would enlarge (is that the word I think idk). But then I learned about all the effects and decided no thanks, I don’t wanna look too masculine but I want a dick, like I feel like that seems more correct to me, it’s what I feel like I’m supposed to have. I also considered a metoidioplasty (if that’s correct, I wrote it down hope it’s right) but I never fully asked about it and became nervous to talk anymore with the doctor.

And whenever I say this stuff i second guess myself, like no you don’t know that you’re just doing this cause it’s a big thing rn or like it’s a fetish. And Ik that’s untrue Ik I’ve felt like this since I was 12 but i have the kind of anxiety that makes me doubt myself to the point of asking others for what they think is best for me but gender doesn’t work that way, no one decides this but me. The assessment freaked me out because when she asked me why I wanted this I didn’t know how to say it was CAUSE I KNEW ITS WHAT I WANTED, THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME SOME PART IS SAYING THAT. But I had to be convincing and now I’m back to second guessing, “maybe you were wrong, you’re probably just confused, you’ve-“ Ik this is all stuff people say to other trans people, especially people my age. I know the shit I tell myself is rooted in that transphobic bullshit but I somehow always think I must be stupid, “yea those people know what they want but you don’t”

I know I want this and I want to stop arguing with myself, I want to at least feel confident in this. I don’t know how I even managed to doubt myself this bad but im typing it now so it can shut the fuck up.

I know im not a girl, I know I don’t have to be anything to prove that, I can dress however I want and enjoy whatever I want, it wouldn’t define my gender or my sexuality or any of it. I don’t have to change my sex if I don’t want to, I don’t have to keep it like this either. If I want to poke fun at my gender than I can it’s my identity I can be silly with it I can be fun with it, it isn’t that serious. And last thing which I find kind of embarrassing but I’m fucking typing anyway, I can call my clit a dick if I want to, it’s fine it’s my body, I can call it what i want

BYE

(Also idk what I consider myself gender label wise, I just focus on my pronouns and what I want physically. Idk if that makes sense idk)

#wow u really have to reassure yourself of all this?#YEAAAA #hell I have to reassure myself people actually like me #I never like telling people about my anxiety because it’s ridiculous but if u read this now u know a thing about me #many things ig #also according to a therapist I had a bit ago #this kind of anxiety and self doubt could lead to psychosis so I actually gotta keep it in check all the fucking time #annoying but I’ve been managing better than when I was younger #OK NO MORE RANTING #I’m actually happy I enjoyed my day and my night #I’m in a good headspace which is a good time to write this #I hope anyone who reads this has a great day/night!!#and thank u for reading if u did<3

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